Reddit Stories - Episode #29 Stories That Calm the Mind AITA and Confessions ( Over 9 Hour Compilation )

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

#redditstories #sleep #sleepstories #bedtimestories #fallasleep #calm #mind #AITA #confessions #relaxation  In Episode 29, "Reddit Stories That Calm the Mind: AITA and Confessions," listeners explore soothing narratives that promote relaxation and self-reflection. The stories delve into personal dilemmas and confessions, providing a comforting escape that aids in falling asleep peacefully.  redditstories, sleepstories, fallasleep, bedtimestories, relaxingconfessions, calmingnarratives, personaldilemmas, soothingstories, selfreflection, peacefulsleep, nighttimeescapes, comfortingtales, mindfulness, relaxationtechniques, emotionalwellbeing, stressrelief, introspection, bedtimecalm, restfulnights, storytimeBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

My relative by marriage criticized me for my inability to conceive, and persuaded my romantic partner to end our long-standing relationship. I regret that the details escape me at the moment. Exact term for my condition. Basically, I have the correct parts, none of them happen to work. My uterus cannot generate lining, so I can never get pregnant. The bright side is that I have never had a period in my life, I'm 32. My boyfriend's mother found this out. I don't know how, she may have heard a family member talking about it, my family knows about it,

and several of his family members that I have told. When she found out and confronted me about it, she then forbade her son from marrying me because I couldn't provide him with children. Needless to say, we, my boyfriend and I, have discussed it and though a bit disappointed, are fine with it, me unable to conceive. She is now telling all her family members not to attend our future wedding because she doesn't want her son marrying someone defective who can't give him what she thinks he wants needs. If she can come around and change her mind on this, that would be great, but as it is right now,

I don't want her at the wedding, for fear of her doing or saying something to ruin the event. And he says that while he loves his mother, he is torn as to whether to invite her or not. We may just have a quick civil ceremony and only invite a few friends and relatives and tell her later, but she doesn't even want to come over when we invite her for dinner. not sure what to do, getting tired of her calling me defective to everyone else. His father is okay with it, his aunts and uncles are understanding for the most part. We have talked about adoption in the future, but she is also against that as it is not his blood and wouldn't really be her grandchild.

Just ranting here, thanks for reading. Update 1. I have received two text messages today before tonight's confrontation. One good, one bad, the good one was from my future father and in-law who said that he's appalled by his wife's actions and he loves me like the daughter he never had and he thinks his son is fortunate to have found me. The second was from his aunt who basically said the same thing, but added that her sister, my future mother-in-law, spoke to her about the whole thing, asked her not to attend the wedding, and then made some comment about why do I even have breasts? It's not like I'm going to use them for anything. I am so nervous for tonight,

my boyfriend has asked me not to come because he thinks my being there will make it worse, so after work I'm going to stay at home, order in a pizza and curl up on the couch and watch TV while petting the cat. That last part is not a euphemism. I get a lot of comfort playing with and petting my cat. Update 2. If you read my previous post on the matter, I can't have children. My soon-to-be mother-in-law didn't like that and did what she could to sabotage our future wedding, telling people not to attend, and calling me defective. My future, no more, husband and his father were going to sit down with her Tuesday night and try to talk sense into her. Well, she won. I don't know what happened or what was said, but my boyfriend came home and we got into a big fight. Despite what we had discussed before,

he now said that he wanted kids and if I couldn't provide them, the wedding was off. I basically said that sounds like your mother, not you, he replied with I can speak for myself and it escalated into a bunch of shouting at each other and I quickly put together a bag and went to my parents for the evening. I called in sick from work the next day and basically stared at the ceiling. We first met when I was nine, 23 years ago, it went from being friends to more romantic, we dated through high school and went to college together, then after graduation, moved in together. I have never dated or seen anyone else, neither has he as far as I know. We waited so long to get married, because it wasn't important to us as long as we were together.

That changed when my dad got a terminal disease and he expressed his wish to walk me down the aisle, I'm his only daughter, before he became too ill to walk. I'll be giving two-month notice at work on Monday, to give them time to find a replacement and for me to train them, then moving back to Germany. I didn't mention that my dad is German, my mom American, they originally met when she went there for work, I was born there and lived there at first and still have friends and family there. My friend, who I had mentioned before had volunteered to be a surrogate, has said I can stay in her spare room with her and her family until I get situated on my own there. I'm sorry, no happy ending here. The evil mother-in-law won

and got me out of her son's life. Technically, she got me out of the country. I know I could move elsewhere in town, or even in the state, but I don't want to be alone here. There's too many memories, and I have a strong support group, friends slash family, overseas so that's where I'm going. I have been picked on so many times for so many things over the years, from my height to my accent when I first moved here, gone now, I sound like any other Midwestern girl, to other things, but this one hurts. I was able to handle the others by telling myself that's who I am, if they don't like it, that's their problem and I'm sure in a few years, I'll think that about this situation too, but it's too soon. Thanks for reading and your kind words of support.

I'm sorry if this seems incoherent, I'm just ranting here and crying, so it's hard to keep a decent train of thought. Update three, first of all, thank you all for your support and kind comments. Two weird things happen today, one I'm extremely embarrassed about and the other I thought was just weird. First, on my lunch hour, I had to run to the grocery store to pick up some things for my mom for dinner tonight. At the grocery store, who should I happen to run into, but she who once could have been my mother-in-law? I don't know what to call her, so she will be Barbie. Walking down an aisle, who should happen to appear at the other end, but Barbie. We made brief eye contact, then she immediately turned and bolted out of there.

Guess she had nothing to say. The second thing was my dad came with me to the house to help me pack up my things. He's already agreed to act as my representative when the house is sold to make sure I get my fair share. While there, he stands in the corner and just glares at my ex the whole time. Then my ex has this brilliant idea to ask for one last time right in front of my father. I guess I kind of snapped. I grabbed my sweater, you can guess what part of me was right under it that I grabbed, and said you're never going to see these, much less touch them or play with them again or anything else.

He turned red and walked out the door, and my dad went from staring with A. You hurt my daughter, you're lucky to be alive. Look to just bursting out in laughter once the door closed behind. my ex. He then said, I can't believe you just did that to which I replied, neither can I. We then went home for dinner with my mom and halfway through, my mom asked what does Vanessa's, the girl I'm moving in with in Germany, husband do again. And I just lost it. A perfectly honest question, but I just let it all go in big braying sobs. After a while, my dad came over and carried me upstairs to bed like he used to do when I was five, where I am typing this now on my laptop.

I told him to tell Mom that she did nothing wrong, I just needed to release and unfortunately for her, that was the time. A lady at work already volunteered to take my cat, and my dad will store stuff like my tennis trophies and yearbooks and pictures upstairs at his house. He said that even though I may not want those photos now, perhaps in five years or so, I will want them, so he's going to keep them until I'm ready to take them back. Thanks again for all your kind words and support. I will update as warranted and answer any further questions if I can.

Update 4. Well, I gave notice at work today, had some more weirdness, and am now lying in bed with my laptop. First, while at lunch today, a dozen roses came with a note that simply said I'm sorry. No more, no less, but I recognized the handwriting. I asked my co-worker if she would like them to give to her little daughter at home and when she said no, I know why you got them and I don't feel right taking them, so in the trash they went with the note. I was going to wait until Monday to give notice, but the gossip factory had been running full-time the last couple of days, so I went and told my boss that I'm leaving, but I'll stay to help

train a replacement. My last day is ironically Valentine's Day. What the hell, I've got nothing else to do that day. I'll spend two weeks after that here saying by to people, going to a few of my favorite places in town and then on February 29th, my parents are going to drive me to Chicago about four hours away, and I leave for Munich on March 1st. My friend Vanessa lives in Munich, so I'll stay at her place a few days while I try to figure out where to go and what to do. My hometown is about a two-half-hour drive away and I still have family there, so I'll decide between now and then which one to base myself in. It's a small town maybe about 40,000, I'm not sure the exact number, but it does have a castle and a large tin soldier museum, so I don't know if

I'll stay in Munich, more opportunities, go up there and try to find something, or go somewhere else in Germany, like Hamburg or Berlin. I also went to the realtor who's selling the house and had to sign a bunch of papers giving my father authority to make any decisions regarding selling. The lady said no problem, she has a lot of experience with divorcing couples, and all I thought was I was never even married. I came home and we had dinner, then my mother and I sat down and she braided my hair. It has always been our thing to do this for mommy-daughter time. We did it for the big it's not just for peeing talk. When I was first diagnosed with my condition, before the state tennis tournament, when I went away to college,

basically big moments. I think this counts as one of those. Then my ex's best friend called, said he heard what happened, said it was pretty crappy, he used stronger language. But there might be children reading this, and wanted me to come over for an evening with his family before I left. I was more friends with his wife than him, but I'll go anyway. Again, I can't thank this community enough for their support and kind words. Sorry if I branch into irrelevant topics at times, but I just type as I think, and this is all going faster than I thought. Last week, I thought I might have to start planning for a wedding, and now, I'm planning on leaving the country and starting my life over. My mother also suggested we go to the zoo in Chicago on my last day in America.

I went there when we first moved to America. She thinks it would make the perfect bookend to my whole 23-year stay in America. It seems like just yesterday when we moved into a new house and a nice boy and his mother came over, brought us a basket of cookies, and welcomed us to the neighborhood while I was out front keeping my dog away from the movers. Times and people sure do change. Update 5. Warning. there is an act of violence in here and I'm still shaking from it. No, the main one wasn't against me depending on how you define violence.

My ex came over to my parents tonight and said he wanted to talk. I have a good idea what he hoped would happen, but it definitely did not. We had a brief chat in which he said he was sorry and I told him I was moving back home to Germany soon. He started to tear up and so did I. I take responsibility for giving him the opening that was about to happen. We're both crying and we start hugging. As we're hugging, I don't notice one of his hands moving down my back to my ass until he gets a good handful of ass cheek and squeezes it.

As soon as it registered in my brain what he was doing, I stepped back and let loose with my six feet one inch, 155 pounds, I'm a big girl and 25 plus years of developing a good forehand in tennis and just slapped him in the face. My hand still stings from the force of it. He staggered back and I just pointed to the door and you. yelled get out. Though I may have added some naughty words with it. He looked shocked at me and hung his head and just walked out the door. After I heard him get in his car, start it, and drive off, I broke down in tears. My father, who had been waiting and listening outside the room the entire time, he later explained it as listening to see if I needed backup, came in the room to me crying more at this point and he started to give me a big hug. A couple minutes later while he's holding me,

I thought that he might reach down and squeeze the other ass cheek. That thought sent me into hysterical laughter. We stood there holding each other while I'm alternating between laughing and crying. My mother comes downstairs and fixes us all something to drink. A few minutes later, my phone rings and according to caller ID, it's Barbie, my ex's mother and the one who started this all. Now I did not hear her side of the conversation, so anything attributed to her is what my father told me later.

She basically says she's gonna call the cops on me for assaulting her son and my father says it was justifiable self-defense. My ex attacked me first, the ass squeeze. And we have cameras to show the whole thing to the cops should they show up, we don't, but she doesn't need to know that. She hung up and I haven't seen a cop since so I don't know if she was bluffing or my dad's threat scared her off. Now I will admit that I missed the physical part of our relationship and he was my first and only at many things, first date, first kiss. first sex, etc. But none of that outweighs the hurt he and his mother caused me. I would rather go celibate for life rather than let him touch me again. I shouldn't have let him hug me in the first place, but it was a weak moment and I know not to let him do that again.

Again, thank you for reading and the kind words of support. I thought I wasn't going to update again after the last one, and yet something else happened. Hopefully, unless it is a response to something written here or a message, you won't get another update from me until I am in Germany and away from this mess. It's late and I'm going to bed now. Update six throughout this whole ordeal, there have been two mysterious things I had no answer for. One is why did he suddenly change his mind and two. How did Barbie, his mother, find out? It wasn't common knowledge, nor did I tell her. I had my suspicions as to how and yesterday, they were confirmed. I was down to. on my lunch break. Been training the new girl who's replacing me, she seems really nice and

capable. I would have liked to work with her if the circumstances were different. At lunch, I ran into Steve, his friend and neighbor who he's known since he was three or six years premium. He said he had heard about us. He said it was a shame that we had broken up and wanted to know if it had anything to do with my infertility. Now, I had not told Steve, he wasn't a close enough friend to confide in, so I asked what he knew of my infertility. He then told me the whole story. This is from his point of view and I'm only relaying what he said, so may not be 100% accurate. Steve and Jack, my ex, were working on Steve's car, don't know what kind, only that it's from the 60s, I'm not a car girl, never have been. Four wheels, an engine, and a good stereo system is all I need

to know. If you ask me what kind, I would say it's blue and old. nothing more. Now, before this, we had a very informal proposal. What do you want on your toast? It looks like it's going to rain today, should we get married? So they went to Jack's parents' house, he wanted an old heirloom ring that had been in his family for centuries and wanted to make a formal proposal. He asked where it was and why he wanted it, and his mom ran crying with Glee upstairs to find it. When she came back down with it, she was crying and said it would be nice to have the pitter-patter of tiny feet around the house and was I currently pregnant. It seemed odd to her, I guess, that we were getting married after 16 years of dating-slash-living

together, so she thought maybe he had knocked me up and that's why the proposal after so many years. He said we already had the pitter-patter of tiny feet in Babette, my cat, she said no, I mean a baby, silly, and he responded with Mia can't have babies and then proceeded to tell her my whole medical situation. She said something like this isn't going to happen, went back upstairs, returned the ring, and slammed the door. The next day is when she forbid, forbade. Me from marrying him, started calling me me defective and started this whole story. After telling me this story, I told Steve that yes, that is one factor in our breakup, he said, what a shame, you two made a great couple, and Jack was probably devastated. I then said by and went on to lunch, and when I got home later that day,

I went to my room and cried into my pillow before my father came up to get me for dinner. I had always suspected that he told her somehow, and while it's not a big state secret, it's not something I have ever felt comfortable telling people. Now that I am telling this story on this site, I have no problem saying my parts don't work to complete strangers and it's been comforting. Thank you all for your support. Update 7, two-part update. We'll start with the good first. I left America March 1st and flew to Munich. Sat next to an elderly lady who was scared to death of flying, but was going to visit her son and his family. I don't remember what he did or why he was in Germany. So for the 10 or so hours we were in the air, she held my arm in a

death grip and any time we hit an air pocket or shook around a little, it was a relatively smooth flight with just a few bumps here and there, she gripped even tighter and later I discovered I had a bruise, but fortunately her nails didn't dig in. After deplaneing and going through customs, she met up with her son and his family. This happened before all the quarantine and isolation started in earnest, so not much of a problem there. Then all the fun started with the quarantine and I've spent most of my time at my friend's house, tutoring her kids in English and generally helping out around the house. I had three interviews scheduled before I got here, but they were all cancelled.

My uncle up and calm back back has volunteered to drive the three hours down and take me back up there, but I haven't decided yet. The bad, apparently Jack, my ex, has been having a hard time with this. Normally, when I and the family flew back to Germany in the past, we flew out of Cedar Rapids, up to Chicago or Minneapolis then flew on to Germany. Apparently, from what a friend told me, he drove out to the Cedar Rapids Airport, not knowing we had driven up to Chicago and I flew direct from there. When I didn't show up there, he went home and figured he got the time-slash-date wrong. He sent a few letters to my house. I had my mother open

and read one to me on the phone, but shortly stopped her. Even though my mother and I have been open about my sex life. There were things in that letter I didn't feel like hearing or having her here. The letter stopped when he lost his job for non-quarantine-related reasons and later wound up in jail. Nobody has been able to tell me exactly what happened, but best guess from what I've been told, one night, he got into a shouting match with his mother, which turned physical and his dad had to peel him off her until the cops showed up and arrested him, so I guess things got pretty bad so that one of the neighbors called the cops. I never would have expected this from him with anybody, much less his mom. If only he could have fought this hard for me way back when, things might be different.

So, as of this update, I'm sitting around with not much to do, but at least I'm not in jail. Sorry for any errors, I loaned my laptop to my friend's son and it hasn't worked properly since, though he claims he did nothing bad to it. He's a good kid, so I believe him that it was probably just an accident. Hope everyone is staying safe and doing as well as can be during this time. Alfe Wiederzayan. Mia Update 8, I actually spoke to him yesterday on the phone. When last I updated, he had been arrested and thrown in jail for assaulting his mother. I don't know if he's out on bail, or there were no charges, or what, but he has spent the last few days sitting in my parents' front yard, doing nothing but sitting. My dad said he was going to go out there

and kick his ass, but my mom, who's definitely the cooler headed of the two, went out there and calmly told him I was gone and he should pick up and start his life over two. She called me and told me this, so I decided to call him, which I did last night. He answered and sounded kind of relieved it was me, but also sad. J. equals Jack, my ex, M equals me, or Mia, either one works. This is the conversation to the best of my memory, J, hello M, hello, I understand you're out on my parents' front yard. Well, I'm not there, so please leave them. alone. J., I was hoping that the rumors I heard weren't true, that you were still here and we could talk. M, I tried talking before and you just took it as a chance to grab my ass and

act as if sex could solve this whole thing. J., I'm sorry, I've never broken up before, so I'm not sure how to go about it. M., I've never broken up before either, but I think I've handled it better. I just got to know, why. J., I have to do what my mother says, and she won't wasn't happy when she found out you couldn't have children. M, you're 32, I don't think you have to do what your mother says anymore. J, you just don't understand. M., I do understand. We had discussed the problem before and had come up with solutions which apparently aren't satisfactory to her, so you threw our relationship away. Did it mean that little to you? J, you didn't have to go away. When are you coming back? M, not for a couple of years.

Once this whole pandemic thing is over, I can hopefully find a job in my own place to stay. J. Come back, please. M., I'm sorry, but you made your choice. Barbie, his mother, or me. I hope the two of you are quite happy together. Throughout all of this, he is crying, and I'm doing my best not to. Jay, please come back, we can get married and adopt or whatever. I'm sorry, we can find a way to work.

work this out. M., I told you there were always alternatives, but you threw those away along with me. Plus, Barbie's going around calling me defective and she won't accept us adopting. How does that change? J, you're not defective. I'm sorry, but I can't control what she thinks. M, no, but you support what she thinks. You've known this about me since we were 16, suddenly it's an issue. J, I don't like her calling you defective. In case you hadn't heard, I just spent time in jail for defending you. M., maybe if you had done that when this all started, I'd still be there. I think that broke him, because he kept quietly whispering sorry over and over and then hung up. I just laid on the bed and quietly cried until Victoria, my friend's oldest child, knocked quietly and told me it was

time for dinner. Sorry for the formatting, still trying to get used to how Reddit works. Also sorry, if I came across as a bitch in this, but when someone throws away a relationship that goes back to childhood, I can be a bit upset. Hope everyone is staying safe through this whole pandemic thing and hopefully, when it's all over, I can get on with my life here in Germany. Update 9, so, I moved out of my friend Vanessa's this weekend. Her family was incredibly nice in taking me in, but when we first planned this, it was and I thought I'd have my own place and a job and everything. My uncle said he would drive down and pick me up and I felt better taking his offer than continuing down there. So, he came down Saturday, spent the night with some friends of his, and we drove back up to

Kolmbach on Sunday, where I am currently staying with him and his wife and typing this out before bed. It's weird being here, given I was born here and lived my first nine years here, but even when I've been here on vacation in the past, it never felt as strange just being here. I don't know if it's the feeling of the town being deserted, or my current personal situation, it just doesn't feel right. Anyway, that's enough of miscellaneous rambling. I'm just trying to avoid typing the real part of this story if you couldn't tell. Friday night, Jack, my ex, called me. I still have the same phone and the same account back in Iowa. So when it rang with his distinct ring tone, it caught me by surprise. I picked it up and said, What do you want? Which I know was a bit

rude and I apologized to him about it as soon as he said, I just wanted to see how you were doing and say hi. So, we proceeded to have a pleasant conversation, when I could hear screeching and A, is that her? Followed by him saying, I'm talking, leave me alone when she, Barbie, his mother who started all this, got on and said, leave my son alone, haven't you done enough damage? To which I responded by simply hanging up. She must have gotten his phone and tried calling me a few more times, none of which I answered, but when I checked voicemails later, she was going off on how I ruined his life, how he had lost his job, which we knew was going to happen anyway last year when the owner of his company announced his retirement and that he was selling off

the assets. But he gave one year notice and even helped some employees find work elsewhere. He had lost his house. We sold our house after our breakup. He had been caught drinking in public. I guess he bought a few bottles, went down near the lake and drank in the park and got busted by the police for it, heard that from another friend earlier. And how he had attacked her, mentioned before, but I secretly hoped he would have decked her good before his dad intervened. She even got to use her favorite word, defective, saying that if she had known 16 years ago that I was defective, she would have gotten her son a nice, normal girl to be with. She also mentioned that Jack had talked about suicide recently, saying there's no point in going on.

I tried calling back, but every time, she picked up the phone and resumed her screaming, so I gave up trying and just wrote him a letter, which I sent to my parents for them to deliver to his house. Figuring Barbie would just see it was from me and intercepted if I sent it to him directly. I told him that I still loved him and wanted him to do well in life and move on, but that it was over between us. So, here I am 5,000 miles away, civilization shut down, living with my aunt and uncle and just waiting for when I can put my life back together. Thanks for reading and sorry about any formatting

errors. I think I'll put up my laptop now and go to sleep. Relatives rejected me for marrying a factory employee, but when I became pregnant they unexpectedly arrived at my residence with lavish presence. However, I firmly shut the door in their faces. Face. I'm 28 female and three years ago when I married my husband Luke, 30 male, my family disown me and since then we have not spoken to each other. Luke and I had been dating for two years when we decided to get married, and my parents never loved him, so they were quite against the idea of accepting him as part of the family as their son-in-law. The reason for that was really shallow, it was because Luke didn't come from a background like ours. Luke's dad was a high school janitor and his mom was a stay-at-home mom who had to take care

of him and his two younger siblings as well. Money was always tight and Luke never even got to go to college because he had to start working right after he finished high school so he could support his family. When I met him, he had been working as a warehouse worker in a nearby office building, so I would often see him around during my lunch breaks. After a month or two, I asked him out. I honestly didn't care what his job was or what kind of money he made. He seemed cute, and after a couple of dates, I knew that he was the perfect guy for me. Six months later, I introduced him to my parents and they were initially happy to see him, but the more they got to know about his family and his background, the less they seemed to like him.

Eventually, they started pressuring me to break up with him because they didn't think we were a good match. Apparently, they wanted to save me from heartbreak and tell me that this relationship was never going to work out beforehand because we were just too different, and eventually the honeymoon phase would end and it was inevitable that we would go separate way. I come from a really affluent business family. My grandparents started an investment firm and my parents run it now. It's lucrative, and my parents have always taken pride in their work in the kind of money that they make, where they come from, and the people they associate with. In short, they have always been really snobby, but it has never rubbed off on me.

In fact, whenever I would see them act like they were too good for everyone else, it would give me the ick, and from a young age, I decided that I didn't. didn't want to be like that, and I think I stayed true to my decision. My parents really wanted both my sister and I to work for them and take their business forward, but honestly, working under my parents seemed like a nightmare, so I started working elsewhere. I was already on thin ice since I had let them down by not joining the business after I graduated, and I think my decision to be with Luke was the last straw. So when we got engaged, they were furious and gave me an ultimatum that I could either break the engagement off and continue to be a part of the family,

or else they would disown me and make my sister the heir to all their inheritance. My sister was the golden child to our parents, and rightfully so, to be honest. She had earned it because right from my childhood, she had been exactly the kind of person that my parents had been trying to raise. Sophie, my sister, has always been just like my parents and also took pride in our wealth, even though she hadn't been the one to earn it. She was also just as snobby and narcissistic and thought she was better than everyone else just because her parents had tons of money. Sophie is my youngest sister, she's two years younger.

So initially I tried to make her act more like me, more like a normal person, to be honest, but it never really stuck. I guess she was just too innately like my parents to realize that the way they behaved with other people was not right. Anyway, I still used to get along with her when we were really young, but around the time she started high school, she became a bit of a bully and we stopped sharing a good relationship. It was also pretty sickening for me to constantly be told that I needed to be more like my sister when it came to socializing with people, since according to my parents, I had absolutely no standards. And there was also the fact she led her life exactly like our parents wanted her to, since she got a business degree and started working with our parents so she could take the company forward.

And now she was the poster child for what an ideal daughter should be like. My parents, and occasionally even Sophie, had tried really hard to convince me to break up with Luke while we were dating because they didn't agree with our relationship. Unfortunately, they could not succeed, and we got engaged. After my parents gave me that ultimatum, it was a really easy choice for me. I didn't care about their inheritance at all. I just wanted to live a peaceful life with Luke. So I told them that they could disown me and I wouldn't have any issues with it. About three months before my wedding, my parents publicly announced to the family that they were disowning me from marrying someone who was clearly with me just because I came from a rich family.

And they wanted to see how long our marriage would last if I didn't have the money that I did so far and there was no hope for an inheritance. They were pretty confident that Luke would leave me as soon as he found out that my parents had disown me and all the inheritance would now be going to my sister, but I guess they were wrong if the fact that Luke and I are currently expecting our first baby together is any indication. After they disowned me, I was kind of upset about it because, all things said and done, they were still my family and I really loved them. But I never spoke to them again. They did not reach out to me either. I have continued to work in HR, and shortly after our marriage, Luke was promoted to warehouse manager, and the position came with a significant raise as well.

So life has been pretty comfortable, and we have been really happy together. A couple of months ago, we found out that I was pregnant. and it was time to complete our happy little family. My in-laws have taken care of me like their own daughter ever since they found out that Luke and I were together, and have never let me feel the absence of my own family. I was pretty content with life, and there was no drama until two weeks ago

when Sophie texted me to let me know that our parents might be visiting me soon. And in case any of you are thinking that she had magically turned into a better person, which is why she had warned me, that's not the case. The only reason she reached out to, me to let me know was because she was pissed at our parents. Apparently, one year ago, they had set her up with a guy who happened to be the son of a very close friend of theirs, and she had agreed to go out with him, give him a chance, and see where the relationship goes.

Our parents always spoke highly of the family since, of course, they were from the same kind of financial background, because that guy was also pretty well off. About a month ago, after dating for almost one year, he proposed and Sophie accepted. She thought that this would make the family happy, and she was also ready to settle down and start a family of her own. But before they could announce the engagement, the parents of the guy suggested that both of them get fertility tests done because they were really hoping for a grandchild, and their son had already been conned by another woman before this who hadn't told them that she had had a hysterectomy for medical reasons. So they didn't want to take the same risk anymore. Sophie thought that it was a bit weird, but she agreed to it since our parents wanted her to just get it over with some. so they could announce the engagement.

But unfortunately, they found out that she was sterile. They had her tested a couple more times just to be sure, but every single time, the results were the same. My parents took her to the fertility specialists, and they did not have any clear explanation as to why this was the case with her. Eventually, the guy ended up breaking up with her because he did not want to go against what his family wanted.

And the loveliest part of all this is that my parents are now blaming her for some reason. I don't even want to get into how messed up all of this is, and I was horrified after reading the text that she sent. And towards the end of the message, it was time for me to be really pissed off, because she told me that she was telling me all of this because she knew that our parents would be reaching out to me soon enough because they had heard from a couple of relatives that I was expecting. And since they didn't have a shot at getting any grandchildren from her anymore, I was their only hope. After reading that message, I spoke to Luke, and we decided that no matter what happened, we were not going to reconnect with them. It was just not worth it. And also, after the way they had treated Sophie, I wanted nothing to do with them. And just like Sophie had said, my parents showed up at my door three days back, and when I opened the door, they pulled me into a hug and said

that they had heard that they were going to be grandparents now. So they wanted to let go of the past and start afresh, which is why they were here to reconcile with me and had even brought gifts for me worth almost $40,000 that were still in the car. It was the mention of the gifts and what they were worth that pissed me off even more. I was just a couple of months into the pregnancy, so I wasn't showing just yet, and I was also wearing really loose clothes. So I just told my parents that what they had heard about me being pregnant was not true, and then I also told them that I had spoken to Sophie recently and I knew exactly what they were here for. So even if it was true, I had no interest in reconciling with them. I am my own person, not a baby-making machine, and if they only wanted to

reconnect with me now that I was their only ticket to having grandkids, then I didn't want that sort of a relationship at all. I also told my parents that I knew my worth and it was most certainly more than $40,000 before I shut the door. It was really satisfying and I don't think I had done anything wrong because, after the way they had treated me and also Sophie, I don't think they deserve a chance to have the kind of family that they expected. But after that, my dad sent me a message, and now I'm kind of confused, which is why I'm here to ask for advice on what to do. It's not a really long message, so I'll just paste it here, and you guys can make of it what you will. The reason we came to visit you and make things right is because we know for a fact that you are pregnant. I know you

had specifically told everyone not to reveal it to us just yet, but everyone in the family had told us that they thought it was about time to make things right with you, and so did we. You have no idea how sorry your mother and I were about everything after you got married. We had wanted to reach out to you several times, but every time that we spoke about you to the rest of the family, we only got to find out that you still hated us, and we were waiting for you to cool down before we reached out. I guess that was our mistake, not doing anything and constantly just waiting for everything to be calm before we apologized. But I really don't want to apologize to you for something that we put you through. We also want to apologize to Luke because we were really wrong about him.

It's just that we didn't want him to break your heart, and you know how common it is in our circles to find out that the person your kid was dating turned out to be a gold digger. So we just wanted to save you from that, and I guess we went a little overboard and never really even gave him. gave Luke a fighting chance. We were just trying to protect you, but now I see that we didn't do it in the right way. I wish I could have apologized to you a really long time ago, and trust me, your mother and I will always be sorry for what we did. And as for whatever Sophie has told you, I can assure you that it's not true, not all true, at the very least, since her ex did not dump her because her family found out that she

was sterile. There were loads of other reasons that she hadn't mentioned, like she has severe anger issues and also she was extremely insecure when she was with him. I bet she didn't tell you about all of that, but her ex reached out to us later on to let us know that these were the real reasons he had left her and not just because she had fertility issues. Lastly, I know you are worth much more than the gifts we bought, but we just wanted to show you how sorry we were.

We still are from the bottom of our hearts, and I hope that you see that and forgive us. So this is what they sent, and now I'm really confused. I'm desperate to find out the truth about everything, but I don't know if it's even my business anymore. I also do feel like a bit of a jerk because of how I slammed the door on my parents when they made an attempt to reconcile with me. And now I'm wondering, Ida for rejecting my parents and their attempts to make things right with me? Update 1, so I spoke to Luke about it, and just like many people in the comments, he explained to me that at this point, it doesn't really matter what the truth is. It makes absolutely no difference what the real reason behind the breakup between my sister and her ex is,

because ultimately, my parents were only here because I was pregnant. Had that not been the case, they never would have bothered to reach out to me again. And the fact that they had waited for so long really went to show that they believed they could come and go as they pleased, and I was just going to have to deal with it. He told me that the message that they sent me was just an attempt to emotionally manipulate me, and since I was pregnant, I might have been slightly more vulnerable, which is why I kind of fell for it. And I'm going to agree with him there because I have actually been kind of more emotional about everything recently. But Luke was able to find a lot of loopholes in the message that they sent me.

Like, for instance, if they really had so much regret about the way that they had treated me, and especially Luke, then they should have just reached out to us at least once. Granted, I did seem angry with them, but Howe was not talking to me going to fix that? Surely they knew that if they wanted to make things right, they would have to talk to us. They couldn't wait for us to calm down on our own. That's not how things work. And more importantly, it wasn't like they were not aware of the fact that Luke and I kept our finances separate until we got married. In fact, I had been the one to approach Luke and not the other way around. So if he actually had been a gold digger, I'm pretty sure that he would

have come to me instead. It was understandable that they were concerned about the differences in our families and financial backgrounds for the first couple of months, but they never even tried to get along with Luke and get to know him. They had actually acknowledged that fact in their message, and they had never even given him a chance. And yet they did not have the decency to apologize to him separately. It's not like they didn't have his phone number, or they didn't know how to contact him. He was on social media, and they could have just reached out to him there if they were really serious about their apology. But the way they were actually and even the way that they had phrased things,

just made it very obvious that they were taking this very casually. So I really don't have any reason to feel bad about what has happened. So talking to him about this has made me feel much better about my decision. I also made up my mind that I was not going to reach out to Sophie because I don't know about what her intentions were, but one thing is for sure, she did not reach out to me out of the goodness of her heart. Some people in the comments were saying that I was being too hard on Sophie because she has had a terrible experience recently, and she only wanted to warn me.

So I should probably not say such awful things about her, because in the end, she actually did me a favor by warning me that my parents would be visiting. And that might be true, but that doesn't automatically discount whatever she has done in the past. She cut me off the very same day that my parents did and never bothered to check on me again, not to mention the fact that I had already spoken about how she was as a person in my original post. She had also also always been really biased against Luke because his background and behavior were really not any better than my parents. The only reason she even told me about all of this was because she was pissed at our parents. I'm pretty sure if things had worked out with the guy that my parents had set her up with,

she wouldn't have reached out to me, and things would have remained the same. So she did this for revenge on our parents, not because she was looking out for me. I understand that she went through something really horrible, and as a woman, I will always stand by her and maintain, that the way her ex and our parents treated her for something that's not even in her control is not right. But as her sister, I'm never going to forgive her, and I really don't have to. I know that now. A couple of days have passed since I last heard from my parents, and after that message, they have not made any attempt to reach out to me again. So I'm hoping that they will stick, and they won't contact me after this because I really don't want any more drama.

I just want this to be a smooth and happy pregnancy, and for that, they are going to have to stay away. Whether or not I want them to be a part of my life later or not, I'm going to decide after the baby is born because right now, my own happiness is my top priority. And it's not like my babies are never going to know the love of grandparents or uncles and aunts, since my in-laws and even Luke's siblings have made it a point to check up on me, either by calling or visiting every other weekend. It just warms my heart how close their family is and how seamlessly they made me a part of their family as soon as they found out that their son loved me, without any drama or any complaints. I wish my family could have done the same, but alas.

Update 2 So two weeks ago, my parents paid me a visit to reconcile with me, but I had made it very clear that I did not want to speak to them right now. Since then, we hadn't had any interactions apart from that one text message that they sent me, and I did. didn't even reply to that. I thought that they would take the hint and figure out that this was not the right time to bother me, but obviously, they couldn't just let this go, and they decided to show up once again yesterday. Last evening, since it was a Sunday, both Luke and I were chilling at home, and suddenly somebody was at the door, even though we were not expecting any visitors. When Luke looked outside, he saw that my parents were standing outside and asked me

whether I wanted to let them in or not, and obviously I said no. So Luke told them to leave, and I went to my bedroom because I really didn't want to deal with this right then. I was kind of exhausted, and I was not in the mood. But instead of just leaving me alone when Luke told them to, my parents decided to stay at the door and argue with him. They reached such volumes that I was forced to come back out and personally tell them to leave. Even then, they did not stop arguing with me and said that they were only here to make things right with me, and I had to give them a chance. They claimed that they had raised me, and so this was literally the bare minimum that I could do for them. I tried to explain to them that I would speak to

them when I was less emotionally volatile, but right now this was not the time to bother me. And they refused to listen. Instead, they doubled down on why I should be grateful to them for the life that they had given me and said that I was snatching the chance of being grandparents from them just for a stupid little lapse in judgment that had happened three years ago. They sounded really annoyed with me, and that pissed me off because they were in no position to be making demands right now. And their stupid little lapse in judgment, as they put it, had caused a lot of heartache and trauma for me. So maybe it was not as little as they thought, and it was up to me whether I wanted to forgive them now or five years from now. They couldn't force me to forgive them, and they needed to understand that.

I guess my only mistake in that situation was getting carried away emotionally and arguing with them instead of just calling the cops and letting them deal with it. Anyway, when I started arguing with them, my mother started crying and said that I was being heartless. She said that she had already had to deal with the fact that Sophie was not going to be a mother, and now I was treating her this way in spite of everything that she had been through. I couldn't even believe the audacity she must have had to bring up how she was feeling about me treating her like this when my parents themselves had pushed Sophie into a corner just because she wouldn't be able to have kids, so much so that she literally felt the need to talk to me about it, somebody she hadn't spoken to in years.

After that, I just snapped, and I told my parents that in order to be good grandparents, they needed to be good parents first, and they had failed miserably at that job. First, they had ruined their relationship with me just because they couldn't accept the fact that I wanted to be with Luke, and he wasn't a spoiled rich brat like most people in our circle, but was instead an honest and hardworking man, and those were not values that they stood for, obviously. As if that was not bad enough, they had also ruined the relationship that they had with Sophie, their so-called golden child. She had done everything right her entire life just to please them, and in spite of that, they couldn't see anything apart from the fact that she was sterile.

They had reduced her to just that one condition and pushed her away, even though her entire life she had done nothing except try and make them happy. At least with me, they had the excuse that I had always gone against them, and that's why they had found it very easy to cut me off. But with Sophie, there was literally no reason for them to be so cruel to her, especially during a time when they should have been supportive of her. They had failed us both, and now they had no right to demand any sort of place in our lives. And I didn't know about Sophie, but I was definitely not going to forgive them any time soon. If they had really been sorry about what they had done, they would have left me alone, and they would have understood I was not in a

right-head space to deal with them as of now. But instead of just dealing with their punishment, which was not to talk to me until I was ready, they decided to force their presence on us and expected me to be okay with it. Well, I was not okay with it, and I told them that even after everything that I had said, if they still didn't leave me alone, then I would be forced to call the cops, and that would not look too good for them. It was after that they finally left, and I was extremely upset for hours after that. I shouldn't have come out of my room to talk to talk to them at all, but honestly, I'm glad that in a way I was able to get all of this out of my system. I needed to say these things out loud, and I needed them to hear it so they knew just how

badly they had failed both their kids. And now that it's out there, I feel much lighter. Of course, I do regret spending my evening fighting with them because it was a total waste of time, but at least some good came out of it. Update 3, Hi Guys. So almost three months have passed since my last update, and I'm well into my pregnancy now. I'm definitely showing, and my baby will be here in two to three months hopefully. Not a lot of things have changed since the last time that I posted here. Part of the reason that I was so inactive was because I didn't have anything to say, since my parents finally respected my wishes after that last argument that we had and did not try to contact me any further. And no, I also haven't kept in touch with Sophie, because like I said, we don't really

have a relationship anymore. From what I know, some of my relatives told me that she had quit her job and doesn't work for our family business anymore. So it's pretty sad, but I think my parents are not going to be able to live up to their dream of having their daughters continue the legacy of their business, unless I changed my mind later on, that is. The reason I'm even posting this update right now is because a couple of days ago, I received a phone call from my parent's lawyer. The last time the guy had contacted me, it was to tell me that my parents had disowned me legally and I was not going to be receiving any inheritance from them. This time, he had the exact opposite news for me. He told me that my parents had decided to reinstate my

inheritance and had changed their will to include me once again. I don't know if this is an attempt to kind of appease me before the baby's born, but it hasn't softened me up to them so far. However, if I do think about the future, I would definitely like to take over my parents' company after they retire, and having Luke run it alongside me would be poetic justice. So I haven't thought about it in detail yet, but I think after my baby's born, I'm going to tell my parents that if they agree to let me take over the company and sign the paperwork for it, then I might consider letting them have a relationship with their grandchild. I know it sounds selfish, but I think Luke and I have worked hard enough, and we deserve this. It will also prove to us exactly how sorry my parents are. And if Sophie wants to work with us, I wouldn't be against that either. But for now, this is just a plan, and I haven't implemented any of it.

Luke is on board with this idea, and after the baby is born, we will think about it. Close pals covertly spiked my beverage with a substance and proposed to engage in a threesome with my partner and me. However, I later discovered that they had orchestrated this scheme without my knowledge. back when I confronted them. I never thought I'd be the one writing one of these posts. I've been reading this sub for years, always thinking, thank God that's not me whenever I saw the really messy situations. Well, here I am now.

I'm still processing everything that's happened and honestly don't know what to do anymore. For some background, my boyfriend Mark and I have been together for about five years now. We met during sophomore year of college when we were both at this stupid frat party that neither of us wanted to be at. We ended up sitting in the corner making fun of everyone else there, and that was pretty much it. Been together ever since. We moved and together after graduation and have talked about getting married someday, though we're not in any rush. Our relationship has been pretty solid, we rarely have serious fights, have similar interests and goals, and generally enjoy each other's company. Sometimes I wonder if I got into a serious relationship too young,

thought usually passes quickly because Mark is genuinely a good guy and we work well together. Our mutual best friend John has been in our lives pretty much from the beginning. Mark actually knew him from high school, but the three of us became inseparable after I met him at another party during college. John's definitely the adventurous one of our group, always traveling somewhere new, trying weird foods, and bringing back stories that sound completely made up but are usually true. He works in tech or something that lets him work remotely, so he's constantly jetting off to random countries for weeks or months at a time. He's single and kind of a free spirit, which is probably why he and Mark get along so well. So the other night, Mark and I went to this birthday party for John's

sister, Katie. We were super excited because John had been in Russia for like a month doing who knows what, he claims it was just for fun and exploring, but with John you never really know, and he had literally just flown in from the airport to the party. I think he'd been home for maybe two hours before heading to his sister's thing. When we finally saw him, it was all hugs and I missed you guys and catching up on the surface level stuff that had happened while he was gone. The party was pretty packed with Katie's friends and family, and after hanging out with everyone for about an hour, John suggested we sneak off to his place to catch up properly. This wasn't unusual for us. We're all kind of introverted and get drained at big gatherings. Everyone who knows us jokes about how

we're always the first to leave any party. John's sister didn't even look surprised when we said we were heading out early. She just rolled her eyes and said something like typical before giving John another hug. John's apartment is only like 15 minutes from where the party was, so we all piled into an Uber and headed there. His place was surprisingly clean for someone who had just returned from a month abroad, I guess he has a cleaning service or something. We started out just chilling in his living room, John telling us about Russia and showing us pictures on his phone of all these old buildings and weird food he tried. Mark kept asking about Russian women, which was annoying but whatever. John was being John, saying they were gorgeous but scary. We'd been there

maybe an hour when John casually takes out this little capsule and swallows it with some water. Mark asked what it was, and John goes, oh, it's just this plant-based stimulant I picked up in Russia. Natural energy booster helps with the jet lag. He looked totally normal saying this, like he was just taking a vitamin or something. Then he offered us each one, super casual, like he was offering mince or something. At first, we both said no, and Mark was teasing him about always bringing back weird shit from his trips. John's always coming back with strange protein bars or energy drinks or whatever from different countries, so this wasn't out of character. Last time he went to Japan he brought back these caffeine gummies that tasted like feet but kept you awake for hours.

The conversation kind of shifted to John defending himself, saying, dude, I got them from an actual pharmacy there, and they let me bring them through customs on the plane. How bad could they be? He showed us this bottle with Russian writing and a bunch of capsules inside. Mark examined them and declared them totally harmless but probably useless, and somehow we both ended up taking one. Mark took his first, then I figured what the hell and took one too. It's hard to explain how normal this felt in the moment. Like, we've known John forever, and he's never done anything to hurt us.

This was just another one of his weird foreign supplements, or so we thought. We went back to talking about his trip, and I pretty much forgot about taking the capsule for a while. We ordered some pizza because none of us had really eaten much at the party, and were halfway through it when things started feeling different. At first, I just felt really good, like, unusually good. Everything seemed a bit brighter and more interesting. The pizza tasted amazing, way better than it should have. I noticed that I was talking more than usual and laughing at everything. I thought maybe I was just in a really good mood.

After a while, I excused myself to the bathroom. I splashed some water on my face, which felt incredible against my skin, and when I looked in the mirror, I noticed my pupils were massive. Like, scary big. The bathroom also felt weirdly warm and cozy, and the towels looked incredibly soft and amazing. I went back to the living room feeling a bit concerned and told the guys something was up. That's when John dropped it on us. Okay, guys, don't hate me, but there was some Molly in those pills I gave you.

I fucking froze. MDMA? Are you kidding me? I started panicking because I've never done anything harder than weed, and even that's just occasionally when Mark and I are watching movies or something. I've always been pretty straight edge, not in an annoying way. I just never felt the need to experiment much. Mark seemed totally fine at first and went all not cool, man at John, but he didn't seem as shocked as I was.

We left pretty quickly, with John apologizing behind us we walked out the door. Mark and I sat on a bench outside John's building, trying to process what had happened. Then Mark started feeling it too, he got this goofy smile on his face and kept touching my hair saying how soft it was. And here's the weird part, it became really hard to stay mad at John. Everything just felt so. Good. We were both suddenly feeling amazing, and all the anger just melted away. I felt this incredible connection to Mark, like I understood him perfectly in that moment. Then Mark's phone rings and it's John, still apologizing, and somehow we end up inviting him to join us. I still don't really understand how that happened, but one minute we were mad at him and the next we were telling him to come down.

The three of us walked to this park nearby and just talk for hours. I mean hours. It felt like the most meaningful conversations we'd ever had, even though looking back it was probably just normal shit that seemed profound because we were high. I remember John telling us about how lonely he sometimes feels despite all his traveling, and how he envies our relationship. Mark talked about his fears of being too settled at our age and missing out on experiences. I apparently went on some long rant about how much I loved both of them and how they were the most

important people in my life. Pretty embarrassing in hindsight, but it felt so real at the time. At some point it got cold, it must have been like two or three in the morning by then, and we discovered that hugs and physical contact felt incredible on this stuff. We were all huddled together on this park bench like penguins, and the conversation somehow turned to sex. I don't even remember how it came up. I think John was talking about this girl he hooked up within Moscow or something, and then he made this comment wondering if Mark and I had ever thought about inviting a third person into our bedroom. I didn't really pick up on what he was suggesting and just laughed it off, saying something stupid like Wu that would be exciting, but Mark took it more seriously and said something like, maybe, but it's hard to find the right person for that. Then John casually drops, well, I'd join you guys if you wanted. Normally, this would have been super awkward and weird, but in that moment, everything just seemed fine and cool.

We kind of laughed it off and moved on to other topics. I remember thinking it was just John being John, he's always saying outrageous stuff to get a reaction, so I didn't think he was serious. We finally left the park when the sun started coming up. John walked us back to our apartment, which is about a 20-minute walk from the park. We were all coming down by then, feeling tired but still. oddly connected. We hugged goodbye, and John apologized again for not telling us about the MDMA. I remember telling him it was okay and that I had a good time, which is so fucked up looking back on it.

The next day, I felt like absolute garbage. Not just physically, though I had a killer headache and felt dehydrated as hell, but mentally. Once the drug was completely out of my system, I was so angry at John for drugging us without our consent. Like, that's seriously fucked up, no matter how you look at it. What if one of us had a bad reaction? What if I had some condition I didn't know about? Mark was more chill about it, which bothered me. He kept saying things like, well, nothing bad happened and it was actually kind of fun once we got past the initial shock. I couldn't believe he wasn't more upset about our supposed best friend literally drugging us. When I finally saw John later that day, he came over to check on us,

bringing Gatorade and breakfast burritos like that would fix everything, I let him have it. We had a huge fight where I told him exactly how violated I felt, and he kept apologizing and saying he thought we'd enjoy it and just wouldn't have tried it otherwise. He said he'd done it with other friends before and they'd all had good experiences. That just made me more mad. The fight got pretty intense. I was yelling, John was desperately apologizing, and Mark was kind of stuck in the middle trying to diffuse things. At one point I told John to get out of our apartment, and he looked like I'd slapped him.

He left quickly after that, and Mark got mad at me for being too harsh. We ended up fighting too, with me accusing him of not taking this seriously enough and him saying I was overreacting. We eventually calmed down, but things felt tense between us. Despite this fight, the three of us still hung out every day before John was supposed to leave for Germany, he's going there for some work thing, I think a conference or something. Things were tense at first, but we've been friends for so long that we kind of just pushed through it. John was extra nice to me, like he was walking on eggshells, and I let him know several times that while I was still friends with him, I would never trust him the same way again. He seemed to accept that, and we reached a sort of

uneasy truce. We did a bunch of our usual activities. On the surface, things seemed almost normal again. but there was definitely an undercurrent of weirdness. I caught John and Mark exchanging looks a few times when they thought I wasn't paying attention, but I didn't think much of it at the time. Then yesterday, completely out of nowhere, Mark tells me he's been thinking about John's suggestion. We were just sitting on the couch watching TV after dinner, and he pauses the show and turns to me with this serious expression. At first, I didn't even know what he was talking about.

Then he clarifies that he's been considering the threesome-y He and John have already discussed it, and now they're just waiting for me to say yes. What the actual fuck? I just stared at him, not even sure if he was serious. I couldn't believe they had talked about this behind my back, especially after everything that had happened. Mark started rambling about how it could be a fun experience and how he trusted John more than anyone else if we were going to try something like this.

He said John had experience with threesomes before and knew how to make sure every was comfortable. He even suggested it could bring us all closer after the MDMA incident. I was so shocked I couldn't even form a coherent response. Then I had to leave for work, I was already running late, so I just said we'd talk about it when I got home. But I'd been finding excuses not to go home all day, telling Mark I had to work late, then that I was getting drinks with coworkers. Now I'm sitting at a coffee shop typing this instead of facing him. I don't know what to do. On one hand, I got into a relationship pretty young and sometimes wonder if I'm missing out on experiences.

Before Mark, I'd only been with two other guys, and neither relationship was very serious. And if I were ever going to try something like this, it would make sense to do it with someone we trust rather than a stranger. Plus, I'm not going to lie, John is attractive. He's got this whole adventurous, slightly dangerous vibe that's always been in I've always had a tiny crush on him, Mark knows and teases me about it sometimes, but I never would have acted on it. But on the other hand, this is our best friend. What if it makes everything weird? And I still can't get past the fact that this all started because John literally drugged us.

That seems like a massive red flag that I shouldn't just ignore. But Mark seems weirdly unbothered by that part, which makes me wonder if he knew about it beforehand. Did they plan this together? He's never mentioned wanting to try anything like this before, but maybe he was afraid to bring it up. I've never been in this situation before and I have no idea what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Help. Update, some of you got things completely wrong about my relationship with Mark, but whatever.

I'm not a doormat like some of you suggested, and no, we don't have an obviously toxic relationship, five years of mostly happy times doesn't suddenly become toxic because of one fucked up situation. Anyway, a lot has happened since my original post, so I'll try to update you all on where things stand. Sorry in advance for the length, but I figure you guys deserve the full story after all your advice. First off, I want to thank everyone who took the time to give me advice. You guys really helped me feel less alone in this mess, and I honestly had no one else to turn to. I couldn't exactly talk to my regular friends about this, hey, so my best friend drugged me and now he and my boyfriend want to have a threesome

isn't exactly casual brunch conversation. So after posting this and reading through the first wave of comments, I realized I needed to take some time to really think about what I wanted to do. I was still at the coffee shop when Mark started texting me asking when I'd be home. I ignored him and texted my coworker instead, asking if I could crash at her place. Thankfully she said yes without asking too many questions, though I did give her a very watered-down version of events, just that Mark and I had a fight and I needed space. I ignored all the calls and texts from both Mark and John that night. Mark called like six times and sent a bunch of messages asking where I was and if I was okay. John texted twice asking if everything was all right and saying Mark seemed worried. I turned my phone off eventually because I couldn't deal with it.

The next morning, I turned my phone back on and texted both guys to meet me at this cafe downtown at 10 a.m. I figured a public place would be better for this conversation, both to keep things from getting too heated and to give me an easy escape if needed. I spent most of the night thinking about what I wanted to say, even wrote some of it down so I wouldn't forget anything important. When I got to the cafe, about 10 minutes early, they were already there and had ordered my favorite drink. I don't know if that was sweet or manipulative at this point. They both looked like they hadn't slept much, Mark had bags under his eyes and John's hair was a mess, which is unusual for him since he's normally pretty put together. As soon as I sat down,

they both started talking at once, but I held up my hand and told them right away that I needed to say everything I had to say without interruptions. They mostly respected this, though they did try to cut in a few times when I said something they disagreed with. I'm paraphrasing here because I don't remember my exact words, but basically I told John, what you did was completely fucked up. Giving someone drugs without their consent is never okay, no matter what your intentions were or how it turned out. I don't care if you thought we would enjoy it or if you were frustrated that we wouldn't try it willingly. That's our choice to make, not yours. Do you realize you could have put us in danger? What if one of us had a bad reaction?

What if we'd gotten stopped by cops? What if I had some medical condition you didn't know about? You violated our trust in one of the most fundamental ways possible, and I'm honestly not sure if I can ever fully trust you again. Then I turned to Mark and said, and you, I'm not okay with how unbothered you seem by all this. It makes me wonder if you knew about the MDMA beforehand. Were you in on it? I'm even starting to think you guys planned this just to get me to agree to a threesome, which I do not want to happen.

I don't understand how you can be so casual about your best friend drugging us. And I'm also not okay that you two discuss this threesome idea behind my back instead of including me in the conversation from the beginning. Did you think you could just present it as a done deal and I'd go along with it? Do you not respect me enough to include me in discussions about my own sex life? I don't trust either of you right now, and I need some space. You both crossed a line that can't be uncrossed. I was shaking through most of this and couldn't really look at them directly. My voice cracked a few times, which was embarrassing, but I got through it.

By the end I was sweating like crazy, but I got it all out. I probably said more than that, but those were the main points. After I finished, I told Mark he should stay with John until John leaves for because I needed time alone in our apartment to think. When Mark asked if we were breaking up, I honestly told him I didn't know yet. Their initial reaction was pretty defensive. John kept saying things like it wasn't that serious and you enjoyed it though, right? While Mark was insisting that I was overreacting and that they would never do anything to hurt me intentionally.

That just made me more angry, they weren't even listening to what I was saying about consent and trust. trust. But when they realized I was dead serious about needing space and potentially ending my relationship with Mark, they both changed their tune quickly. John looked like he was about to cry, saying stuff like forget the stupid threesome idea and I wish I could take it all back. He kept repeating that he valued our friendship more than anything and would do whatever it took to make things right. Mark seemed genuinely shocked by everything I was saying, like he hadn't realized how serious this all was to me. He kept repeating that he would never let anything harm me and that I've known him forever and should know better. He swore that he didn't know about the MDMA

beforehand and was just as surprised as I was. When I asked why he wasn't more upset about it then, he mumbled something about just trying to make the best of a bad situation and not wanting to ruin our friendship with John. Weak excuses, if you ask me. I stayed firm though. I told them I needed at least a week without any contact from either of them. I said I'd reach out when I was ready to talk again, and not to call or text me before then. I also made it clear that I wasn't making any decisions right then, I just needed time to process everything. Before I left, Mark asked for a hug, and after hesitating, I let him. It was awkward and stiff. Not our usual comfortable hug. He whispered, please don't leave me which made me feel like shit even though I'm not the one who

fucked up here. John tried to hug me too, but I just shook my head and left. I went straight to our apartment and packed a bag with enough clothes for about a week. I didn't want to stay there if Mark decided to ignore my request and come home. I'm staying with co-worker for now. She's been great about the whole thing even though I still haven't told her the full story. Later that day I got a text from Mark saying John canceled his trip to Germany so I'll stay with him until you want me to move back followed by if you ever do. No matter what you think, just try to remember I love you more than anything. I haven't responded and don't plan to any time soon. The next few days were weird. I threw myself into work and tried not to think about the whole situation too much, but it's hard

when it's all I can think about. I keep going back and forth on what to do. Sometimes I think I'm overreacting and should just forgive them both. After all, nothing truly terrible happened, and They do seem genuinely sorry. Other times I feel like this revealed something fundamental about both of them that I can't unsee or ignore. I did break down and read some of their texts after a few days. John sent a long apology letter to both my phone and email, saying he realized how serious what he did was and that he was going to seek therapy to figure out why he thought it was

okay to violate boundaries like that. He said he'd been doing some reading about consent and realized how wrong he was. It seems sincere, but who knows? Mark's messages have been more emotional and less reflective. Lots of I miss you and please talk to me and I'm so sorry. He hasn't specifically acknowledged what he did wrong, though, just that he's sorry I'm upset. That bothers me. My co-worker thinks I should break up with Mark.

She says even without knowing the specifics, the fact that I felt the need to leave our apartment suggests this is a bigger deal than I'm admitting to myself. So that's where things stand. I still don't know what I'm going to do. Having that initial conversation lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, but I still have so many questions. I won't be able to post another update after this because of sub-rules, so I guess this is it for now. I might not have closure yet, but I wanted to let you all know what happened. Again, thank you all so much for your help and support through this.

It really means a lot. I never expected to be in this situation, but knowing that strangers on the internet had my back made it a little easier to face. I hope you enjoy this story. Guardians evicted me to accommodate their favorite offspring. Many seasons later, she fled at 13 and currently they're imploring me to assist after deceiving her that. I abandoned them. Growing up, I always felt like a bit of a disappointment to my parents. My mom and dad were hoping for a girl.

In fact, they'd been trying for a daughter for years but had no luck until, well, me. They didn't hide the fact that they were disappointed that I was a boy much either. I overheard them say they felt like they'd been given a spare, and I even remember hearing them call me a remnant once. As a kid, that didn't make much sense, but as I got older, it hit me hard. It was obvious that I was just the kid they had while waiting for something better to come along. My parents kept trying for another kid. In fact, it was all they'd ever talk about at family gatherings or when their friends came over. I remember a lot of people telling my parents that they needed to be grateful that they at least had one kid.

But my parents would brush them off and tell them that unless it was a girl, they had no kids. Anyway, when I was 15, they finally had my sister who was also their miracle child. She was everything they'd been hoping for. They poured everything into her. They gave her all of their attention, money, and time. The moment she was born, I pretty much stopped existing in my parents' eyes. I mean, I know I barely existed in their eyes already, but when my sister came along, I was literally invisible.

They barely had any time for me, and they made sure that everything that had to do with that made it easier for them to look after my sister. They stopped caring about my hobbies or interests, but they made me be able to do with that. sure that they showered my sister with praise for every little thing. I knew she was their priority, and I accepted that. I mean, what else could I do? By the time I turned 18, it became pretty clear they didn't want me around anymore. The day of my birthday, my parents sat me down, and it wasn't for any kind of celebration. They told me that they needed more room in the house and that I'd have to move out. Apparently, they thought that by me being there, I was taking away

resources from my sister. I tried to explain to them that I didn't have anywhere to go yet and that I just needed a couple of months to save up and find a place. But they weren't interested in anything I had to say. They said I'd had plenty of time to prepare and that I should be able to manage just fine on my own. So, just like that, I was out. I didn't have much. I just had a few bags of clothes and whatever money I could scrape together from odd jobs I'd done in high school. I ended up couch surfing with friends for a bit and then moving into a tiny, run-down apartment. Those first few years were rough. I worked all kinds of jobs, from working night shifts at convenience stores to doing heavy labor on construction sites, just to make ends meet.

I never really had a stable job, and I was constantly worried about making rent or affording food. There were nights I'd fall asleep hungry and not knowing if I'd be able to afford my next meal. During that time, I tried to keep in touch with my parents. I don't know why. I know I should have been angry with them but they were still my parents and I guess I hoped that they cared about me at least a little bit. I'd call them every once in a while hoping for even a small sign that they missed me. But every conversation was short and awkward like they were just waiting for it to end. The only reason we spoke was because I was the one reaching out.

They never called to check on me or see if I was okay. After two years of the same thing, I just stopped calling. It hurt too much to keep putting myself out there when I knew that they didn't really care about me. And they never reached out to me either. They never even sent a message for holidays or birthdays. I figured they had their perfect family now, and I wasn't a part of it. Yeah, it hurt, but I learned to make peace with that. Nine years went by like that.

I finally managed to build a stable life for myself. I had a steady job, a small but comfortable place to live, and friends who had become my chosen family. I'd accepted that my parents were out of my life for good. Then, out of nowhere, a few days ago, I got a call from them. I honestly thought something must have happened to one of them, so I picked up. Besides, I hadn't heard their voices in almost seven years, and they sounded kind of erratic if I'm being honest.

They told me that they needed to talk to me about my sister. They went on to very dramatically explain that my sister was going through a rough time and was out of control. I was surprised by that. I mean, she was only 12 or 13. I didn't understand how things could be so bad already, but they told me she was constantly skipping school, getting into fights, and even caught up in some serious trouble. She was already experimenting with substances, hanging out with sketchy people, and just doing

things that seemed way out of hand for someone her age. Apparently, they had to spend a ton of money getting her out of trouble. They tried to put her in different programs and paid for all these counseling sessions that ended up not really doing much for my sister. I was floored. I mean, I get that teenagers can be difficult. but it was hard to picture a kid that young spiraling so much. It sounded like all the years of spoiling her had finally caught up with them.

But I couldn't wrap my head around how bad things had gotten. After telling me all of this, my parents told me that I needed to help them out. They wanted me to come back into their lives to support them, both emotionally and financially. They explained that taking care of my sister had taken a massive toll on them and that they just couldn't handle it anymore. It was like they expected me to drop everything. Live all the years of neglect and rejection, and somehow step in to make things right. They tried to guilt-trip me by saying I was still their son and that family needed to be there for each other in hard times. I was shocked to hear about what my sister had been turned into.

But hearing them not even asking but demanding that I helped them made me furious. Where was that family needs to stick together mindset when I was 18 and begging them to let me stay? Where was all this concern when I was sleeping on friends' couches and struggling to get by? They tossed me out without a second thought, and now, just because things had gone south for them, they wanted me to swoop in and save the day. I told them no and that I wasn't interested in helping them. I said I'd built a life for myself without their help, and I didn't see why I should put myself in a difficult position now just because they'd raised my sister to be a nightmare.

They did not take that well. They called me selfish and ungrateful. They said that I was abandoning them in their time of need. They then accused me of holding a grudge and said I should be willing to help because they were still my family. After listening to them rant for a while, I just hung up. I didn't want to hear it. I knew I'd made the right decision. But it's been a few days now since that call.

They still haven't stopped trying to reach out to me. My mom texted me and asked me if I'd be willing to hear them out over dinner this weekend. But honestly, I don't know. I know that I don't owe them anything after the way they treated me all my life, but a part of me still feels guilty. I can't shake the feeling that maybe I'm in the wrong and that maybe they're right and then help them out despite everything they've done. I keep thinking about it. And it's messing with my head. I can't help but wonder if I was too harsh with them.

Part of me thinks that they made their bed and should lie in it. But another part of me wonders if I'll regret this decision down the road. Ida for refusing to help my parents after everything they put me through. Update 1. Hey, everyone. I wanted to give an update because things have definitely moved forward since my last post. Also, I saw a lot of questions in the comments, so I'll try to clear up a few things first. A lot of people asked why I don't just cut my sister off. off, too, and if I blame her for any of this. I want to make it clear that I don't really have any

negative feelings toward my sister herself. I don't know her at all. Really, she was a baby when I left, and I haven't been around since. To me, she's just a kid I never got to know, and any anger or resentment I feel isn't directed at her. It's my parents I'm mad at for how they treated me, and for how they made me feel like I didn't matter once she came along. They're the way. They're the ones who ignored me, kicked me out, and now expect me to come back and save them. I also saw some questions about what my parents were like when I was growing up and if there were specific things that made me feel unwanted. It's honestly tough to talk about, but I think it's important to help you all understand why I feel this way. My parents weren't outright abusive, but they

definitely made it clear that I was more of a disappointment than anything else. They wanted a girls so badly and openly talked about it. I remember them saying things like, we waited for our miracle baby, while referring to my sister, and treating me like I was just there in the meantime. Once my sister came along, they seemed like they finally got what they always wanted, and everything I did was ignored. If I got a good grade, no one noticed. If I had a big moment, like a graduation or an award, it was barely mentioned or even acknowledged. And then, after After she was born, it was like they couldn't wait for me to just leave. They saw me as the extra they didn't need, which is probably why they kicked me out as soon as I turned 18.

Anyway, I hope that clears things up. Now, here's the actual update. After reading your comments, I decided to take some advice and reach out to my parents. A lot of you suggested that if I wanted closure or to get a better idea of what they wanted from me, I should meet them in a neutral location. So, I ended up asking my parents if they'd be willing to meet at a coffee shop in town. They agreed, and I showed up with the mindset that this was going to be just a talk and not me jumping in to fix anything. I was still pretty angry, but I wanted to see what they had to say.

When I got there, I could see right away that they weren't in good shape. They looked tired and much older than I remembered. Not to mention, they looked really stressed out. They wasted no time and got straight into it. They began begging me for help. They gave me more information than they did the last time we spoke. Apparently, my sister's issues are worse than I initially thought. Beyond the substance use and legal trouble, she's had to go to multiple rehab programs,

all of which they've had to pay for out of pocket. She's been skipping school, sneaking out, and causing trouble with friends who are a terrible influence. My parents said that they tried everything they could to change this behavior, but nothing has apparently worked. It turns out they've sold a lot of their things, including my childhood home, to cover these expenses. They're living in a small apartment now and struggling to make ends meet because of all the costs they've taken on to save my sister. They even talked about selling some family heirlooms to scrape together more money, which they think will only last a few more months. Now,

They're at a point where they're truly desperate, and they said that they needed my help to get back on their feet. But while I felt sorry for them, I couldn't help but feel like there was this underlying expectation from them. They kept bringing up the fact that we were family and that I was their son and that it was my duty to help out. It was almost like they thought that no matter what they'd done in the past, I would still step up because of some duty I supposedly have. The way they were talking made me feel like they hadn't really processed the hurt they caused me, or even acknowledge the fact that they treated me poorly. They just kept pushing the idea that I should help them now because they're my parents, and it's what's right.

As they kept going, I could feel all these old feelings of anger and resentment coming up. It was clear to me that they didn't see any of this as their fault. They brushed off the fact that they kicked me out and said that it was just parenting and that they'd done what was best for the family at the time. They acted like it was normal to treat me that way, and now they were. expecting me to just forgive everything and swoop in to fix things. I realized that they weren't looking for forgiveness or understanding. They were looking for a solution. And to them, that solution was me. They needed someone to take on the financial burden of all the decisions

they'd made over the years. Listening to them speak only made me angrier and more upset with them. They still didn't get it. They still didn't understand that they'd pushed me away so hard that I barely knew them anymore. They didn't understand what family meant at all, and they still insisted that I treat them like family. I let them finish talking, but I told them that I couldn't help them. I explained that I'd worked hard to build a life on my own after they left me stranded and that I wasn't in a position, financially or emotionally, to support them. I said I didn't feel any sense of obligation to bail them out of a mess they'd created by themselves. They were furious. They told me I was being selfish, that I was abandoning my family, and that I was heartless for not helping my sister.

I could see the anger and disappointment in their eyes, and it was like looking back into the past. It was like nothing had changed. They were still trying to guilt me into feeling like I owed them something. I ended up leaving that meeting feeling a lot more conflicted than when I went in. Part of me is relieved that I set a boundary and stood up for myself, but another part of me feels guilty like maybe I'm turning my back on them when they're at their lowest. It's hard to explain, but even though I know they hurt me, it still feels strange to walk away like this. I keep thinking about their situation and about my sister, who I don't even know.

I feel sorry for her, but I don't feel like I can save her. It's painful to realize that even after all these years, my parents don't see me as an individual with my own life and struggles, but instead just as someone whom they can use to fix their problems. I'm trying to let go of the guilt, but it's hard. So, I guess I'm back here to ask if I made the right call by sticking to my decision. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Update 2, hey, everyone. I'm back again because things have gotten even crazier since my last update,

which was only about a week ago. Honestly, I thought things would settle down after I decided not to help my parents find financially, but I was way off. Just a few hours ago, I got a call for my sister. This is the first time I've ever heard from her directly, and it completely caught me off guard. I barely even know her, I only have these vague memories from when she was a baby, right before I left home.

So when I picked up the phone and heard her voice, I was stunned. I had no idea what to expect, but I figured maybe she wanted to reach out and talk to considering my parents did. The call started out okay. She was polite and almost sweet, which was surprising given everything I'd heard about her behavior. She asked me to lend our parents' money to help them with their current situation. I could tell she'd rehearse this pitch because she was laying it on thick about how they were struggling and how I could save the family. But I stood my ground and told her that I wasn't able to help them financially. I tried to keep my tone respectful and explained that my relationship with our parents was complicated and that I had to make decisions

that were best for me. That's when everything flipped. She went from polite to furious in seconds. She started accusing me of being selfish and abandoning her with all the responsibility of dealing with our parents. She kept saying that I was turning my back on my family and had always been jealous of her. She claimed that I was acting like I was better than them because I got away and started my own life, while they'd been the one supporting me all along. It was shocking to hear her talk like this. It was almost as if she'd rehearsed these words too. I mean she sounded just like our parents.

Besides, she sounded so entitled to my help. It was like she genuinely believed it was my job to step in and fix everything. I was so taken aback that I couldn't even respond. Here was this person I'd never had a relationship with, demanding that I make up for years of choices I had nothing. to do with. After she finished her rant, she hung up before I could even process what had just happened. After the call, I knew I needed to talk to my parents to figure out what was going on. I was so confused. Like, why did my sister think I'd abandon her, and where was all this hostility and anger towards me coming from? I called my parents, and as soon as they picked up,

I asked them straight up if they'd been telling my sister that I'd abandon her and them. At first, They hesitated, but they quickly admitted that they'd told her for years that I'd left the family because I couldn't handle sharing their attention with her. They'd basically made me seem like I was a selfish older brother who couldn't deal with having a younger sibling and had cut ties with them out of spite. Honestly, I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me when I heard this. All these years, my parents have been feeding my sister this twisted version of why I left and made me out to be some kind of villain. No wonder she felt like I'd abandoned her. She'd grown up hearing that I left because I didn't want to share my parents' attention. Meanwhile, the reality was that my parents made me feel like an outsider from the moment she was born,

and they didn't hesitate to kick me out as soon as I was legally an adult. I pretty much hung up on them after that and they haven't tried to reach out again yet. Then again, it's only been a few hours since I last spoke to them. Aside from that, I honestly don't know how to feel right now. On one hand, I'm angry at my parents for lying to my sister about me and for making her think that I was the one who walked away. But I'm also frustrated with my sister for lashing out at me and demanding that I help them as if I owe it to her.

It's hard to shake off this resentment I'm feeling, but now I'm also feeling guilty in a way I can't fully explain. I wish my parents had told her the truth about why I left. Things would be different between me and my sister. I may not have been able to help my parents financially, but I definitely would have been able to get through to my sister and help her change her behavior. But now, it feels like there's too much damage to fix. I'm not even sure if I want to.

This whole situation is so exhausting because just when I thought that I was done with my family for good, they came back in the worst possible way. I know a lot of comments have asked me to just block my parents and move on. but, it's not like that for me. Tell me what you want, but this is still family and I feel like I need to know what's going on at the very least. I really am in no position to help my family out, but this is the first time that they've reached out to me and a part of me is happy about that.

Still, I know that I definitely won't reach out to them first or help them out in any way. Only because, it's clear to me that my parents are still trying to manipulate the situation to get what they want, and my sister is too. wrapped up in their version of the story to see things differently. I don't know what else to do. Hey, everyone. It's been a few months since my last update, and I've had a lot of time to reflect and let things settle down. Honestly, it's been a lot quieter for me, but only because I made the choice to stay out of the mess my parents and sister have created.

I'm learning that sometimes the best way to find peace is by just stepping back and not letting their drama take up space in my life anymore. After my last update, things didn't really get any better with parents. About a month after I last updated on here, they called me again. I was dreading it, but I picked up because I wanted to hear what they had to say. This time they were even more desperate than before. And they used everything they could think of to guilt me into giving them money. They talked about how bad things were, how they were on the verge of losing everything, and how they needed me to step in and fix it.

The usual, really. At first, they tried the whole family as supposed to stick together guilt trip. They even threatened that they were going to my life miserable if I didn't help them. They then switched tones and said that I was the only one who could help them now. Honestly, I was pretty disgusted. After everything that happened, they still had the audacity to threaten me, and not once did they stop to think about how badly they treated me. I stood my ground.

I told them I couldn't help them financially, and that it wasn't my job to fix their problems. I reminded them that they made these choices, and it wasn't on me to clean up the mess. They weren't happy about that, obviously. They kept calling for the next month and trying to guilt-trip me some more. It felt like they didn't even care to understand why I was refusing to help. They just saw me as a means to an end. Eventually, they stopped calling. I figured that they realized I wasn't budging.

For a month, I didn't hear anything from them, and honestly, I thought that might be the end of it. But then, just about a week ago, I got another call. I almost didn't pick up, but I was curious to know what had happened. Turns out, things have only gotten worse for them. They told me they had to declare bankruptcy. They'd sold almost everything they had to. had to cover their debts, and they were basically starting over with nothing. And then they mentioned my sister. She had apparently cut contact with them completely and moved

in with one of her friends apparently someone who supported her bad behavior. She's only 13, but somehow, she managed to move out and live with a friend's family who was just as enabling as she was. I don't understand how that happened, but I guess it's another example of how messed up everything has gotten. I asked my parents why they didn't get the authorities involved and they told me that it was for the best that my sister no longer lived with them because they couldn't see themselves helping her out anymore. So, they basically abandoned their second child as well. At first, my parents tried to put the blame on me. They said that if I had just helped them out when they asked, none of this would have happened. They said I was the reason

everything went downhill. Of course, they couldn't. They couldn't. admit that they were responsible for their own actions. I was beyond mad. I told them straight up that everything happening to them was a result of their own decisions and the way they treated me. I reminded them of how they kicked me out when I turned 18, how they treated me like a second-class citizen in my own home, and how they ignored me when I needed them. I reminded them about how they didn't even acknowledge how that affected me and instead, they just kept trying to shift the blame on to me. That's when they finally stopped making excuses and started backtracking. They apologized and said that they regretted everything they did to me. They told me they wished they

had done things differently. It felt like they were saying all the right things, but it was too little, too late. I couldn't just forget how they had treated me for years, and I couldn't erase the fact that they had destroyed two lives mine and my sisters. They had pushed me away and now, they were reaping the consequences of that. I felt pity for them. I honestly did. But at the same time, I knew that I couldn't sacrifice the life I'd built for myself to try to fix things that were already broken. I told them I couldn't offer any help and that I needed to keep my distance.

They were upset, but I stayed firm in my decision. After I hung up, I still felt very angry at them for what they did to me, but at the same time, I was sad for them. I wish they had taken the time to see what they were doing when they had the chance. But now, it's too late. I've made my peace with the fact that I can't save them, and that's something I'm learning to live with. I don't know what the future holds for them or for my sister. All I know is that I'm not going to let their mistakes ruin my peace. I've come too far to let them pull me back into their chaos.

Maybe over time, I'll try to reach out to my sister again and see if I can help get her on the track. But for now, I have much bigger things to worry about. I can only hope that she learns the right things until then. So, yeah, that's about it for me. It'll be a long while before I check in on my family again. I know this isn't exactly the happiest ending, but it's something that I've made peace with. Thank you so much for all the advice in the comments and comments. discovered that my former spouse's recent spouse was harassing our child when my young daughter refused to ask her to her birthday celebration, but then her boy ruined dessert by smashing it. My child's face. I, 32F, have a daughter, nine going on 10F, with my ex-husband, 36M. We divorced when she was three, and it wasn't exactly on the best terms. Actually, it was pretty terrible, but I'll get to that. He ended up remarrying one of his co-workers pretty quickly after we split. I'll call her Melissa to keep things simple. They have a son together, 6M, who my daughter has to deal with whenever she's at her dad's place.

For some context, my daughter has always been a quiet kid. She's the type who will sit in the corner with a book rather than run around with other kids. Nothing wrong with that, I was the same way as a child. Her dad was always more outgoing, so I think he sometimes doesn't understand why she's not more. I don't know, social I guess. Melissa is also super extroverted and loud, which I think makes my daughter uncomfortable sometimes. So my daughter's birthday is coming up soon. The other day, I was sitting with her going through all the birthday stuff, the cake, and who she wants to invite. We were making good progress until we got to the guest list part. I noticed she got really quiet and seemed anxious about something. At first I thought maybe she

she was worried about inviting some kid from school she doesn't get along with, or maybe she wanted to invite someone I don't approve of. But when I asked what was wrong, she hesitated for a while before telling me that she didn't want to invite Melissa. This caught me off guard because even though Melissa isn't my favorite person, obviously, I always thought she and my daughter got along okay. At least, that's what my daughter always led me to believe when I asked about her time at her dads. I asked her why, and what she told me made my blood boil. Apparently, Melissa makes these weird passive-aggressive comments all the time when my ex isn't around or is busy with work. My daughter told me when Melissa picks her up from dance class, she'll say stuff to the other

moms like that's why I prefer boys, girls only like pink and tutus right in front of my daughter. She's called my daughter a brat behind her back, but loud enough for her to hear. There was one time when my daughter didn't finish her dinner because she wasn't feeling well, and Melissa told her she was high maintenance and too picky for her own good. The worst part is how she handles conflicts between my daughter and her half-brother. According to my daughter, whenever her half-brother does something to annoy her like breaking her toys or calling her names, Melissa always takes her son's side. She'll punish my daughter and let her son off with the boys will be boys' excuse or some other BS like that. My daughter told me about a time when her half-brother deliberately ripped a page out of her

favorite book, and Melissa told her to stop making such a big deal out of it and that he's just a little boy who doesn't know any better. My daughter also mentioned something that happened a few weeks back when she was working on a school project at her dad's house. Her half-brother kept interrupting and wanting to play, and when she asked for some space to finish her work, Melissa told her she was being selfish and needed to learn to share her time. The project ended up being late because she couldn't concentrate, and she got a lower grade than she usually does. When she tried to explain to her teacher why it was late, she was too embarrassed to tell the

real reason and just said she forgot about it. I asked about her dad's reaction to all this, and apparently he's hardly ever around when it happens. He works from home but is always locked in his office on calls, so Melissa pretty much has free reign to treat my daughter however she wants. My daughter never felt comfortable telling him because she said she doesn't want to make problems for her dad. It broke my heart. She's been keeping this all to herself because she's worried about her dad's happiness. What kind of burden is that to put on a nine-year-old? I thought about it overnight and decided that I wasn't going to

force my daughter to have someone at her birthday that makes her uncomfortable. It's her day, after all. So I called my ex to let him know the date of the party. I also wanted to discuss with him what our daughter had told me, but I never got the chance. I think I was on speakerphone because when I mentioned that Melissa wasn't invited, I suddenly heard her screaming in the background about how I'm trying to destroy her family and driving a wedge between her and her stepdaughter. My ex got all defensive too, saying I was being petty and using our daughter to get back at them for getting together. He even had the nerve to bring up something from years ago when I didn't invite his mother to a school event because she had made some comments about my parenting. That was completely different. His mother had criticized

me to my face in front of other parents at a PDA meeting, and the school event was one where each kid could only have two guests anyway. For the record, yes, we divorced because he told me he had fallen in love with Melissa and wanted to confess. So yeah, there's that whole thing. He worked late all the time, and I later found out those late nights were spent with her. But that was years ago, and I've moved on. I ended the call with my ex because it was getting nowhere, and he was just offending Melissa without even asking why our daughter didn't want her there. He texted me later saying I was being unreasonable

and that excluding Melissa would only create more division in the family. I replied that it wasn't about him or Melissa or me, it was about our daughter and what would make her birthday special. He didn't respond after that. My sister thinks I should just invite Melissa to keep the peace, but I feel like that would be betraying my daughter's trust. She finally opened up to me about something that's been bothering her, and I want her to know that I take her feeling seriously. My best friend says I'm doing the right thing by standing my ground, but she's never been a big fan of my ex-anyway, so I'm not sure if her opinion is biased. So, I'd have for not inviting my ex-husband's wife to my daughter's birthday party because my daughter specifically asked me not to?

Edit, I see a lot of people asking questions in the comments, so let me clarify some things. My daughter's half-sibling is four years younger than her. My daughter was born in April, her half-brother was born in March the year after the divorce. He just turned six, and yes, we divorced because my ex-husband told me he was in love with Melissa and wanted to confess. I'm not making that up. He literally sat me down one night after I put our daughter to bed and told me he had developed feelings for someone at work and wanted to explore that relationship.

When I asked if he was already seeing her, he admitted they had kissed once at a work event but sworn nothing else had happened yet. I found out later from a mutual friend that it had been going on for months. We have 50 to 50 custody, always have. We switch every week, Sunday to Sunday. It seems to work okay for our daughter, and she has her own room at both houses. My ex does have a busy job and works crazy hours. Even when we were married, he was always working later on weekends. I'm not saying Melissa is entirely to blame for his absence. He's always been a workaholic. For those asking about my relationship status, yes, I've dated since the divorce, but I'm currently single. Update, wow, didn't expect this to blow up

like it did. Thanks for all the comments and support. Some of you were pretty harsh about my my ex, but I get it. Some of you also said I should go straight to a lawyer and try to change our custody arrangement, but I wanted to give him a chance to fix things first. A lot of you asked for an update, so here it is. So, a lot happened since my last post. First of all, I asked my ex to meet me for lunch alone, without Melissa. He agreed, which honestly surprised me. Maybe all the messages, wasn't serious about me going to court scared him, I don't know. We met at this place near his office that we used to go to when we were still married. It was weird being there again with him, but whatever.

I tried to be as calm and factual as possible, even though I wanted to scream at him for being so oblivious. At first, he was super defensive and said our daughter was probably overreacting or misunderstanding things. He even suggested that maybe I had somehow coached her into saying these things, which made me want to throw my water in his face. I told him point-blank that even if that were somehow true, his relationship with his daughter was at serious risk here. I asked him if he was willing to risk losing his connection with her just to avoid confronting Melissa about her behavior. That seemed to finally get through to him a little. I gave him a clear choice, fix the problem with Melissa or I'd go back to court for more custody. I didn't want to threaten that, but honestly I'll do whatever it takes to protect my daughter.

He got quiet after that, and I could tell he was actually thinking about it instead of just dismissing everything I said. He promised he would talk to Melissa and pay more attention to how she interacts with our daughter. He also said he would try to be more present when our daughter is at their house, instead of always working. I told him I'd believe it when I saw it, but that I was willing to give him a chance to make things right before involving lawyers. Last Friday when I went to pick up my daughter from his house, I pulled her aside and asked how things had been. She told me that her dad had been spending a lot more time with her, picking her up from school and activities, helping with homework, actually playing with her instead of just working all the time. So that was something, at least.

Then Melissa came up to me while my daughter was getting her stuff. She was acting all nice, which was weird because she's usually pretty cold to me. She said she accepted not going to the party but still wanted to see my daughter blow out candles on her actual birthday. She'd baked a cake and asked if it would be okay to do a small thing before we left. I didn't want to cause a scene, and the fact that she was making an effort seemed positive, so I asked my daughter if she was okay with it. She nodded, though I could tell she wasn't thrilled about it. So we all gathered around this cake Melissa had made, my daughter, Melissa, my ex, and the half-brother.

It was actually a pretty nice cake, which had daughter. my daughter's favorite colors. I was starting to think maybe I had misjudged the situation and things were going to get better. Here's where things went to shit. When my daughter blew out the candles, her half-brother decided it would be hilarious to smash my daughter's face right into the cake.

I'm not even kidding. If this wasn't a six-year-old kid, I swear I would have lost it completely. Melissa and her son burst out laughing while my daughter was in tears with cake all over her face and hair. Her unicorn headband that she loves got broken in the process, and there was frosting all over her new sweater. The look on my daughter's face was heartbreaking, she was so humiliated and upset. Melissa had the audacity to tell my daughter she was being dramatic and emotional and needed to learn to take a joke.

I was about to say something when my ex actually stepped in and told his son that what he did was not okay. Melissa immediately got defensive and said he was just playing and my daughter was overreacting. We all started arguing, me, Melissa, and my ex. To my surprise, my ex actually took my side and told Melissa that she needed to apologize to our daughter for laughing and for dismissing her feelings. In the middle of all this, I realized my daughter had disappeared, so I went to find her. She was in the bathroom trying to clean cake out of her hair and crying silently. It broke my heart. I helped her get cleaned up as best I could, and we just left.

I didn't even say goodbye to my ex or Melissa, I was too angry, and I knew if I stayed I would say things I might regret. She was still upset in the car, so I stopped for ice cream and tried to cheer her up. I told her she didn't have to go back to her dads for a while if she didn't want to. She asked if that was allowed, and I said we would figure it out. I didn't want to put any more pressure on her by asking her to make big decisions, but I also wanted her to know she had options. The actual birthday party went okay the next day. She invited about 10 kids from her class and a couple from her dance class. Her dad came without Melissa or the half-brother, which was for the best. He brought her a really nice gift. During the party, I pulled my ex aside

and told him I was serious about seeking more custody because of his wife's bullying. I mentioned the cake incident as further evidence that Melissa and her son have no respect for our daughter's feelings. He didn't argue with me this time, which was a first. He actually seemed worried, which made me think maybe he was finally taking this seriously. My daughter seemed to have a good time at her party, although I noticed she was quieter than usual. One of her friends asked about the half-brother, and I overheard my daughter saying she didn't want to talk about him. I'm worried about the long-term effects all this might have on her. I've been thinking about finding her a therapist to talk to, but I'm not sure if that would make her feel like there's

something wrong with her. I might ask her pediatrician for advice. Anyway, that's where things stand right now. I've started documenting everything, all the incidents my daughter has told me about, the cake thing, everything. Just in case I do need to go to court eventually. I'm hoping it won't come to that, but I need to be prepared. I'll update again when there's more to share. Edit. Some people are asking about my daughter's reaction. My daughter is extremely shy and quiet. She doesn't really talk much except to me and her dad, and even then only have spoken to first unless it's about something she's really into like space or unicorns or this book series she loves.

When she gets upset, she doesn't throw tantrums or anything, she just goes completely silent and cries. That's what happened after the cake thing. She just started crying and went to the bathroom to be alone. It's always been her way of handling things that upset her. For those saying I should have confronted Melissa and her son right then and there, believe me, I wanted to. But making a bigger scene would have only embarrassed my daughter more, and she was already upset enough.

I chose to focus on her needs in that moment rather than my anger. And no, my daughter hasn't been diagnosed with anything like anxiety or depression, though I've sometimes wondered if she might have some mild social anxiety. She's always been reserved, even as a toddler. Her teachers say she's well-behaved and does great academically, but they've mentioned she could participate more in class discussions. I don't want to label her or make her feel different, but maybe the therapist idea isn't so bad.

Update 2, Hi Everyone. I saw a lot of you asking for another update, so here it is. Sorry it took a while, things have been pretty hectic around here. My daughter, after the cake incident, I sat down with her and asked some more detailed questions. I wanted to know if Melissa or her half-brother had ever laid hands on her before, played these kinds of pranks, or behaved inappropriately in any other way. She told me no, explaining that the fights with her half-brother are mainly just him being annoying and getting in her space.

Things like changing the TV channel when she's watching something, messing with her stuff, or making noise when she's trying to read. Typical little brother annoyances, but still frustrating for her, especially when Melissa always takes his side. I also asked if anyone else from either side of the family had ever made her feel uncomfortable, and again she said no. My ex's parents are actually pretty good with her, they take her out for special days sometimes and always remember her birthday and stuff.

My parents adore her and spoil her rotten, of course. Since my last post, she's been seeing a child psychiatrist twice a week. I took the advice of many commenters and found someone who specializes in children dealing with blended families. At first, my daughter was reluctant to go, but she seems to like the doctor now. They do art therapy or something, I'm not really sure of all the details because my daughter says their sessions are private. But she seems a little more confident after each visit, so I think it's helping. I didn't mention this earlier, but apparently the bullying from Melissa only really started about two months ago. Before that, Melissa was never particularly warm to my daughter, but she wasn't openly hostile either.

I don't know if it's related, though I strongly suspect it is, but it was around the time that Melissa had a miscarriage. My ex mentioned it in passing during a drop-off, but we didn't really discuss it. Not that it excuses her behavior at all, but it might explain the timing. Maybe she's taking out her grief and frustration on my daughter, which is completely unacceptable but at least give some context to the sudden change. My daughter has been staying with me most of the time lately. She still sees her dad, but they usually go out somewhere together instead of her staying at his house. Last weekend they went to a science museum that had a special exhibit on space, and she came home really excited about it. She showed me all the pictures they took and talked nonstop about black holes and galaxies.

It was nice to see. Me, to be completely honest, I feel like a terrible mom. I didn't see any of the signs. My daughter was suffering and I had no clue. I keep thinking about all the time she came home from her dad's house and I asked her how it went, and she just said fine or okay. I should have pushed harder, asked more specific questions, paid more attention to her moods. I'm doing everything I can to fix things now, but I can't help feeling I failed her.

I've been talking to a lawyer friend of mine, not officially retaining her, just getting some advice about what my options are regarding custody. She says that without clear evidence of abuse, it might be hard to get the current arrangement changed. The cake incident isn't enough on its own, though it does show poor judgment on Melissa's part. My daughter's testimony would matter, but the court would be careful about putting her in the middle of an adult conflict. So for now, I'm collecting information and keeping detailed records of everything, just in case. Work has been crazy too. I had to take some time off to deal with all this, and my boss has been understanding but I can tell he's getting a little impatient. I'm trying to balance everything, being there for my daughter, keeping up with work, dealing with my ex and the whole custody situation.

It's exhausting, honestly. Some nights I just cry after my daughter goes to bed because of it. all feel so overwhelming. My ex-husband, guest who showed up at my door at 10 p.m. the other night? My ex called me, said he was outside and wanted to talk. I was already in my pajamas and about to go to bed, but I let him in any way. And because I don't trust him, I really don't, I recorded our conversation, with his consent, I'm not trying to get in legal trouble or anything. He looked terrible, like he hadn't slept in days. He told me that since the birthday party, he's been thinking a lot about what to do. He said he had been watching Melissa more carefully, and he noticed

things he hadn't picked up on before. The way she talked to our daughter, how she always favored her son, little comments she would make that seemed innocent but actually weren't. He said he felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. He finally told Melissa about my intention to seek more custody. According to him, her response was that it wasn't such a bad idea because my daughter wasn't fitting into their family dynamic anyway. They started arguing, and at one point, she just went off, cursing about me and my daughter. Apparently, I'm a sneaky bitch who's still bitter about her affair with my ex-husband. She described my daughter as a spoiled, brady princess who needs correction. Then she gave him an ultimatum, he has to choose between which woman he loves the most.

Seriously, who says stuff like that? It's not a competition between his child and his wife. They're totally different relationships. He said that's when it clicked for him. He left the house, drove around for a while, and ended up at my doorstep. He's staying at a friend's place now while he figures out what to do about his relationship with Melissa. He seemed genuinely upset about the whole situation, and for the first time in years, I actually felt sorry for him. He kept saying he had failed our daughter and didn't know how to make it right.

We talked for hours about our daughter, about our past, about what went wrong in our marriage. It was strange, not comfortable exactly, but less tense than our conversations have been in a long time. We agreed that our daughter will stay with me during the week and visit him on weekends for now. He suggested maybe taking her out, just the two of them, rather than having her stay at his house where she would have to deal with Melissa and her half-brother. I made it clear that if he gets back together with Melissa, I'm absolutely going forward with seeking full custody. But if they split up, it would depend on his custody arrangement for his son, because I don't want that kid around my daughter anymore after what happened.

He agreed to these terms, which surprised me. I guess he's finally putting our daughter first. Before he left, he asked me if I thought there was any way to repair Melissa's relationship with our daughter. I told him honestly that I didn't know, but that it would take it. a lot of work and genuine change on Melissa's part. She would need to recognize what she's done wrong and make a real effort to be a better stepmother. I also said that our daughter might not be ready to forgive her right away, or ever, and that he needed to respect that. He nodded and

said he understood. The next day, he texted me to say, thank you for listening and that he was going to make things right. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I guess we'll see. My daughter doesn't know about any of this yet. I don't want to get her hopes up or put any more pressure on her to manage adult relationships. When she's with her dad, she seems happy, so that's what matters for now. That's where things stand right now. My daughter is doing a little better with the help of therapy. My ex is living separately from Melissa while he figures things out. I'm still documenting everything in keeping my options open regarding custody. Thanks for all the support and advice. It really helped me feel less alone in all this.

I'll update again if anything major changes, but for now, I'm focusing on helping my daughter feel safe and loved. Discovered my mother with a different gentleman in our family room, but she coerced me into maintaining her undisclosed information for an extended period of time, and currently my father, sibling, and spouse all have the impression that I helped her hide her affairs. My entire family is falling apart right now because of something that happened years ago, and I'm being blamed from all sides. I just need some outside perspective because I honestly don't know if I'm the bad guy here. For some background, I'm 25F, married to my husband Michael, 29M, for almost three years now. I have an older brother, Alex, 36M, and until last week, I thought everything was okay, but I wouldn't be writing this if it was.

So here's where it all went wrong. When I was 12, I stayed home from school with a stomach bug. I had spent the whole night before throwing up, and by morning my fever was still pretty high. My dad was the one who noticed first, he always gets up at 5 a.m. for his job, and heard me in the bathroom. He called my school to let them know I wouldn't be coming in. My mom had been out late at a work event the night before and was still asleep when dad left. He left a note on the kitchen counter about me staying homesick. Honestly, I'm not even sure if she read it.

When she finally got up around 730, she seemed distracted, kept checking her phone, and then hurried out around 8 a.m. She didn't even know I was at home. I fell asleep on the couch watching cartoons. When I woke up around 11 a.m., I needed to use the bathroom badly. I was in there for about 15 minutes with another round of stomach issues. I had just gotten back to the living room when I heard keys in the front door. I was about to call out, thinking maybe Dad had come home early to check on me, but then I heard my mom's voice followed by a man's laugh that definitely wasn't my dad's. It sounded like they were already in the middle of a conversation about dinner plans later.

I panicked instantly. The way they were talking made it clear she didn't know that I was homesick. Without thinking, I slid behind the couch in the alcove of our living room. From there, they couldn't see me from the entryway, but I could see them through the gap between the couch and the wall. I know hiding sounds weird, but I was 12, scared, and just reacted instinctively. That's when I saw my mom come in with a man I didn't recognize. At first, I thought maybe it was someone from her office, but then they started kissing right there in our living room. I was completely frozen.

They were touching each other and saying things I didn't fully understand at that age, just feet away from where I was hiding. I wanted to make a noise or run away, but I was terrified and in shock. Eventually, they went upstairs to my parents' bedroom. I stayed hidden behind the couch, crying silently, not sure what to do. After what felt like forever, I heard them coming back downstairs. The man left, and my mom went to. to the kitchen. I was still frozen behind the couch, but I must have made some noise because

she came into the living room and found me there. When she saw me crying behind the couch, her face went completely white. She realized immediately that I'd seen everything. Instead of apologizing or explaining, she grabbed my arms so hard at left marks that lasted for days and yanked me up from the floor. If you ever tell your father what you saw, I will make sure our family is destroyed, she hissed at me. She told me my dad would leave us, we'd lose our house, and it would be all my fault. She said I would be responsible for ruining everyone's lives. Then, in the strangest shift I've ever seen, she suddenly switched to being super nice. She sat me down, stroked my hair, and told me it was just a one-time mistake that would never happen again.

She said every marriage had problems, but that didn't mean the family should be torn apart. She told me I was being mature and protective by keeping the secret. She even made me my favorite lunch and bought me ice cream that afternoon. I was just a confused, scared 12-year-old. So I kept quiet for years. Throughout my teens, I tried a few times to talk to her about what happened. Each time went one of two ways. Either she'd burst into tears and make me feel like a monster for bringing it up,

saying things like I thought we were past this and why do you want to hurt me? Or she'd get angry and remind me that telling Dad would ruin everything. Sometimes after these conversations, she'd randomly buy me things I'd mentioned wanting or be extra nice to me for a few days. I started finding ways to be out of the house as much as possible. I joined every after-school club that would have me, spent weekends at friends' houses, took summer jobs that kept me busy. My dad noticed I was becoming distant and trying to.

tried to talk to me about it several times, but I always brushed it off as normal teenage stuff. The guilt I felt every time he tried to connect with me was overwhelming. When I went to university, the distance was such a relief. I finally felt like I could breathe. That's where I met Michael during my sophomore year. We dated for three years before getting married shortly after graduation. I never told him about my mom's affair. I honestly tried to push the whole thing out of my mind completely.

I convinced myself it really had been a one-time thing like she claimed, and that bringing it up would only cause pain for everyone. Last weekend, my dad called a family meeting. He said it was important that everyone be there in person. Michael and I drove the two hours to my parents' house, and Alex was already there when we arrived. The atmosphere was tense from the moment we walked in. Dad looked like he hadn't slept in days, his eyes were red-rimmed and he kept rubbing his face the way he does when he stressed.

We all sat in the living room. Dad cleared his throat several times before he could speak. He told us he was divorcing mom because he'd found out she'd been cheating on him with multiple men for years. He'd discovered it completely by accident. His phone had died while he was expecting an important call about a job, so he'd asked to use Mom's phone. While making the call, a message notification came through with an explicit photo and text that made it clear this wasn't a new relationship. He confronted mom, who initially denied everything. But when he threatened to go through her phone completely, she admitted to not just this affair, but several others over the years. Dad was devastated, and you could hear it in his voice as he told us all this. Before I could process what was happening, my mom, who had been sitting silently in the corner,

suddenly pointed at me and said, she's known all along. She caught me years ago and kept my secret. She supported my choices. Everyone turned to look at me. The shock and betrayal in my dad's eyes broke my heart. Alex looked disgusted. Michael just stared at me like he didn't know who I was anymore. I tried to explain that I was just a child who'd been threatened and manipulated into silence, but no one seemed to hear me. Mom kept talking over me. twisting everything to make it sound like we were co-conspirators and deceiving Dad all these years. Your precious daughter has been helping me hide this for years. She didn't care about your feelings either, she said to my dad. Dad asked me to leave. He said he needed time to think.

Alex wouldn't even look at me, he just stared at the floor, his jaw clenched. Michael was silent the entire drive home, and he's barely spoken to me since. When I tried to explain everything, everything to him last night, he just said, I need some space to process this, and went to sleep in the guest room. I feel like I'm drowning. My mother manipulated me as a child, and now she's destroyed my relationship with everyone I love. But would telling my dad when I was 12 really have been better? I'd for not telling my dad about mom's affair all those years ago. Update, first, I want to thank everyone who commented on my original post. I didn't expect so many responses, and I'm sorry I couldn't reply to everyone individually. A lot of you pointed out that I was

a victim of my mother's manipulation, which helped me feel less crazy about the whole situation. Several others said I should have found a way to tell my dad once I became an adult, and honestly, you're probably right. I wish I had. To those asking why I didn't tell Michael about this before we got married, I genuinely tried to bury this memory. It's not that I was actively hiding it, it's more that I convinced myself it wasn't relevant anymore. That was clearly a mistake, and a lot of you called me out on that. So, a lot has happened in a few days since my post. I was planning to reach out to my dad first based on many of your suggestions,

but before I could, Michael decided it was time for a confrontation. The night after I posted here, Michael finally broke his silence. I was washing dishes, just going through the motions really, since neither of us had eaten much of the dinner I'd made. He stood in the kitchen doorway staring at me for what felt like forever. When I asked what was wrong, he said something that knocked the wind out of me. I'm completely reconsidering our marriage. I dropped the plate I was washing.

It shattered on the kitchen floor, but Michael didn't even flinch at the sound. He told me that he couldn't understand how I could hide something like my mother's affair for years, not just from my dad but from him too. He asked what other secrets I was keeping from him, and if he could ever really trust me again. The worst part was when he said, if you could protect your mother's disgusting behavior, how do I know you don't have the same tendency to cheat?

I couldn't believe he was comparing me to my mother or suggesting I might cheat on him. We've never had trust issues before this. I tried explaining again that I was just a child when it happened, that my mother had threatened me, that I was scared. I told him how she'd manipulated me for years afterward, making me feel responsible for keeping the family together. He just shook his head and said he needed some space.

He packed a bag and went to stay with his brother. He hasn't come back yet, just send a few brief texts to let me know he's safe and thinking things through. I don't know what that means for us. Meanwhile, my dad texted me asking to meet. We're supposed to talk tomorrow at a diner near his work. I'm terrified, but at least he's willing to hear me out. I have no idea what to expect from that conversation.

My brother Alex still won't answer my calls or texts. I've tried reaching out several times, but it's like I've been completely cut off. I don't know if he'll ever speak to me again. I've been sleeping badly, barely eating, and had to call in sick to work for the first time in years because I just couldn't function. I feel like I'm watching my entire life crumble around me. and there's nothing I can do to stop it. All because of a secret I was forced to keep as a child,

and then was too scared or too stupid to reveal as an adult. I'll update again after I talked to my dad, if anyone's interested. Thank you all again for your support and for helping me see that I'm not completely to blame here, even if I did make mistakes along the way. Update 2, I met with my dad yesterday at the diner near his office. He'd taken the day off work, which isn't something he does lightly, in 30 years at his company. I think he's called in sick maybe five times total. When I arrived, he looked exhausted with dark circles under his eyes and his usual neat appearance was disheveled.

But he gave me a small smile when I walked in that gave me a tiny bit of hope. I started talking before I even sat down, desperate to explain. But Dad held up his hand and told me to breathe first. We ordered coffee, and then he asked me to tell him exactly what happened when I was 12. So I did. I told him everything. I told him about mom grabbing my arm and threatening me afterward, and how she manipulated me for years with either guilt or fear whenever I brought it up. I showed him the text messages from over the years where she would randomly bring up our special secret if she thought I might tell someone. What happened next shocked me. Dad reached across the table, took my hand, and said, I believe you. Just like that.

No questions, no accusations. He said I was just a child doing what seemed right at the time, trying to protect our family the only way I knew how. He apologized to me, can you believe that? He apologized to me for not noticing what was happening and for not creating an environment where I felt safe telling him the truth. Then he told me something I never knew. This wasn't mom's first affair.

When Alex was 14, it would have been just three, he witnessed something similar and told Dad about it immediately. Dad confronted Mom, who denied everything and convinced him Alex was making it up for attention because he was jealous of the new baby, me. She was so convincing that Dad believed her over Alex. For weeks afterward, Mom treated Alex horribly, criticizing him constantly, ignoring him when he needed something, making him feel like an outsider in our home. Dad said he noticed it happening but thought it was just Alex being difficult.

because of teenage hormones. Eventually, Alex recanted his story just to make the punishment stop. Dad said he realized years later that Alex had probably been telling the truth, but by then the moment had passed, and he'd convinced himself it was better to move forward than to reopen old wounds. That's why Alex reacted so strongly at the family meeting. It wasn't just about me keeping mom's secret, it was also his trauma being triggered. He tried to do the right thing and got punished for it, while from his perspective, I stayed quiet and became mom's favorite. After our coffee, Dad called Alex and asked him to join us. When he arrived about 20 minutes later, he looked guarded and angry, barely acknowledging me.

But Dad quickly explained what we talked about, including the part about me being physically threatened as a child. Alex's expression changed completely. Alex broke down and apologized to me for not standing up for me at the confrontation. He said he should have known Mom would have used the same tactics on me that she used on him. He admitted that for years he'd resented me for being Mom's favorite when in reality, she was just manipulating both of us differently. We both cried, and for the first time in our adult lives,

we really talked about our experiences with Mom's manipulation. We realized that Mom had been playing us against each other our entire lives. She'd tell me that Alex was saying negative things about me behind my back, and presumably did the same to him about me. All those times I thought my brother just didn't like me. It was her creating divisions so we wouldn't compare notes about her behavior. Both Dad and Alex have decided to cut Mom out of their lives completely. Dad's divorce lawyer has advised him not to have any contact with her outside of necessary legal communications.

Alex showed us the message he'd sent to Mom that morning, where he called her the most manipulative woman who never deserved to have children and told her he was blocking her number, which he did right there at the table. As for Michael, that's still unresolved. I came home to an empty house after meeting with Dad and Alex. Michael texted to say he's still processing everything and needs more time. His brother called me to say that Michael is really torn up but wouldn't give me any more details. I don't know what that means for our marriage. I haven't heard anything directly from my mother since the confrontation, though she's been trying to call constantly. been letting it go to voicemail. She's left messages alternating between crying and saying she's

sorry, to angrily telling me that I'm ungrateful and that she'll never forgive me for turning everyone against her. I'll update again when I know more about where things stand with Michael. Right now, I'm just relieved that at least my dad and brother understand what happened. Update 3, this will probably be my last update on this situation, as things have mostly resolved now, though it's going to take time to heal completely. After my meeting with Dad and Alex, I was preparing myself for a difficult conversation with Michael. I was honestly expecting the worst, that he'd want a separation or divorce. I spent the whole time rehearsing what I would say to him, trying to explain again that I was a victim in all this, not an accomplice.

I barely slept, just staring at the ceiling and occasionally checking my phone to see if he'd messaged. He hadn't. But before I could talk to Michael, Alex stepped in. Without telling me, he contacted Michael and asked to meet him for a beer. I only found out about this later, but apparently they met at a bar near Michael's brother's place. During that meeting, Alex told Michael about his own experience with our mother when he was 14, and how she had manipulated and threatened him just like she did to me. He showed Michael old text messages from Mom that had the same manipulation tactics she used with me. Apparently, hearing the same story from Alex made something click for Michael.

He came home late that night around 1 a.m., and I was still awake, sitting on the couch staring at nothing, surrounded by used tissues. When he saw me, his face just crumpled. He sat down next to me and started apologizing. I was a terrible, accusatory idiot who only made everything worse instead of supporting you, he said. He explained that he'd been in shock when my mother made her act. accusation at the family meeting, and instead of thinking clearly, he'd let his imagination run wild

with worst-case scenarios. He admitted that he'd been feeling insecure in our relationship lately, completely unrelated to anything I'd done, just work stressed that he'd been internalizing, and that insecurity had made him vulnerable to doubting me. Michael also confessed that his parents had separated briefly when he was a teenager because of his father's infidelity, which I knew about, but what I didn't know was that his mother had asked him to lie to family members about why his dad wasn't living at home. He said that experience had left him with a deep fear of being lied to in relationships, and when he heard about me keeping the secret of my mother's affair, it triggered all those old feelings. We talked until sunrise. Michael has promised to go to couples

counseling with me. Not because our relationship is broken, but because he wants to make sure he never fails to support me like that again. He's also suggested I might benefit from individual therapy to help process the years of manipulation from my mother. I'm considering it. As for my mother, she's been trying to contact me constantly. Calls, texts, even showing up at our house once when I was at work, Michael told her to leave or he'd call the police. The messages range from apologetic to threatening, often in the same voicemail. In one particularly disturbing message she left yesterday, she said, you're just as pathetic as your father, thinking you're better than me when you're nothing without me. I've blocked her number now, and we're looking into whether we need some kind of restraining order

since she won't respect our boundaries. She's even tried contacting some of my friends to get them to talk to me, telling them I'm having a mental breakdown and need intervention. My dad's divorce is proceeding pretty slowly. His lawyer says mom won't get much given the circumstances of the marriage ending and the documented history of affairs. Dad seems lighter already, despite the stress of the legal proceedings. He's staying with a friend for now, but is looking for an apartment. He told me he feels like he can finally breathe again. Alex and I have been talking more in the past week than we have in years. We've been comparing stories about growing up with mom and realizing how much of our childhood was shaped by her manipulation. He told me he always felt like mom favored me, which

created a distance between us growing up. So that's where things stand. My marriage is healing slowly, my relationship with my dad and brother is stronger than ever, and my mother is out of my life. It's not a perfect ending, there's still a lot of pain and trust to rebuild, but it's a start. Thank you to everyone who offered support and advice. This community helped me realize I wasn't crazy or wrong for what happened when I was 12, and gave me the courage to stand up for myself now. At last, I ended my relationship with my partner who attempted to exploit me financially and persistently pressured me to assume responsibility for his daughter as if she were my own. My significant other, Ben, aged 37. M-42, has been asking weird questions and expecting me to do

things that would go against my plans for my own family. Things have been working out for me in the past few years, but this year has been amazing. I decided to cut down on my daily workload a bit after I got three accounts that are helping me reach some financial goals. I'm planning on buying a house for my family. I downsized my current living situation, renting, after my kids went to live, temporarily, with my parents for this semester while I completed my certified training and graduated from my present program in uni. My new place isn't as nice looking as other places, but the price was a good cut from living expenses for me. I can both walk to the office and uni and I hardly have to move my car for anything. I'm saving money that I'm putting in an account for my kids. Ben absolutely hates

my place. It's clean and in a relatively safe area. It's just that it's a mix of student area slash old families and traffic can get messy from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. and some houses are simple and elegant and some look like tacky addones. I don't care if my place doesn't look nice on the outside. It's not like it's an eyesore, and it's up to me to make it livable on the inside. I had two other choices. Choice A cost 200 less than my previous place, with access to a community pool and two bedrooms. I don't need more than one bedroom at the moment and I don't really have time to enjoy the pool. Choice B was a bit lower, but about 45 minutes away.

It was beautiful and close to the school where Ben's kid went. He did hint at it, but he would have needed to get on the lease and come up with the difference between this place and my new studio apartment that I chose. Also, living together is a major decision, and right now, I really need to focus on my career and education. He said he understood, but he didn't take it well. He told me that his daughter was disappointed because she would have liked a nice place to hang out. Ben lives in an apartment. It's an average place with no problems or issues. So what he said came out as a weird remark. Fast forward, and he started asking questions. First, he asked if I would be interested in partnering with him for a business idea. I said no because I already made a commitment to self-fund my own venture. Second, I'm not

familiar with the industry that he wanted to break into. Then, he began noticing things about things that I owned. I'm not hiding that I'm financially stable, but I don't spend a lot. He did notice that I've bought a few nice items and started telling jokes that felt harmless. Then he said that I was loaded and that his daughter would be an awesome protege. I stayed quiet, T.B.H. because I think he might have been offended. But there's no way in hell that I would allow entrance to what I've built to anyone other than my kids. Also, he said that I should treat his daughter as very special because I only had boys, and she's my chance to have a girl in the family. His words, don't get me wrong, she's a good kid. I have never missed out on gifting her

nice and thoughtful presence on her birthdays and the holidays, but his words created a sense of discomfort and disgust for me. It felt like reversed sexism, and I told him. She and I have a decent relationship, but there's no way that I will give her access to my money if that means to treat her as my own. I know this sounds very wrong, but it's how I feel. She's not the kind of kid who's a bully or nasty or anything, but she's not my child and every time that he asks for things, I feel like he's trying to get me to take from my kids to give to her. It happened again when I gave her a short-term weekend job. The office cleaning lady wasn't available, so I hired his daughter for a Saturday cleaning. She did a good job, I paid her, and took her to the mall to get her some makeup that she wanted,

and she came back next weekend. When he picked her up, he started joking that she would start from the bottom and rise to be top executive like any other kid at their family business. I didn't say anything because she was there, but I did approach him later on and mentioned it to him. I tried to be gentle, but it was important for us to at least discuss expectations. His initial reaction wasn't what I expected. To be fair, I think he got nervous or embarrassed, but I didn't like his reaction. So he said something about me potentially putting her in my will. I'd like to clarify that he laughed, so I think it was a joke, but I also think that he wouldn't have clarified if I'd gone along.

I simply stayed quiet and told him that I cared about his daughter, but it isn't fair to create any expectations. I've worked so hard to give my kids a better future and it's taken me over 10 years and the fact that he only sees the results without taking my past and my ordeal into consideration feels disrespectful. I also mentioned how he wanted me to change my budget and plans for a different property while he knew that moving together isn't an option and that he stayed silent when I mentioned he would have needed to pay the difference on the lease. Also, I mentioned that I would not make unnecessary sacrifices. Nothing else was said. He stormed out of my car and, this is why I feel like the asshole here, started walking with his hand in his pocket and a weak smirk. I had to drive slowly next to him to convince him to get back inside the car because I hate

Dr. David Banner scenes. He looked like a kicked puppy. After I dropped him off, he has been sending me texts about being disconnected from what a blended family actually is, showing that I think his daughter is inferior, being a hypocrite and bullying. This has disturbed my inner peace because I'm just defending whatever legacy I have built, and having to do it against my partner just doesn't feel right. We talked about it, and he apologized, and I did the same in case I was too harsh. He said we could find some middle ground, and I was open to it. When he talked about helping him create a business for his daughter,

I began to get angry because, again, it would be sweat equity for me. I declined because I did all the sweating I had to, but it was for me, and what he's asking just isn't fair. It's a responsibility, and I truly like to do things appropriately. I don't want to say yes and do it half-ass and I don't want to work for free. I also don't want to mix anything between business and pleasure because it's my network, and my contacts and again, it could go very nice and well or it could be a shit show and I don't want that. I'm also concerned that he will ramp up and keep asking and asking for things. He said that if I don't help, he will feel like we will never build anything together.

I said he needed to hire a consultant, but he stayed quiet, so I told him that he shouldn't place the responsibility of his present situation on me. He said that I'm probably blinded by my success, but that one day, I'll wake up single and lonely. I asked if he was threatening to leave me, and he said I'm not acting like a helpful partner. I asked for a break, and he freaked out. I'm just trying to keep my mental health in check because his constant asking and jokes have made me anxious.

Also, I'm very angry and thinking that he just wants a handout. I texted him this morning asking to talk. I want to break up. He said he hopes I'm not planning on dumping him because it would mean that I just tricked him into a break. He posted something about his own mental health today. Ida for deciding to end things? We haven't talked yet, but that's my intention.

I don't see his kid as inferior at all. I just want to keep my money out of it. Edit. To the judgmental people calling me names for letting my kids live with my parents for this semester only, please enlighten me. Would it be a great option to reject a good opportunity and finish my education to gain your approval? Right, because not doing my best to give them a good financial start in life is a better option. Also, where did you get that I'm an absent mother?

Did I say that I don't see them or spend time with them? To those who offer advice, thank you. To those who disagree but diff jump to mothers should not do what they can to secure their kids' financial future and stay poor but at home, thanks. Update, we formally broke up today, and he made it very difficult to focus on our conversation. He interrupted me every five seconds and was in denial for almost half of it. I asked to meet at a small restaurant, public play strategy, to avoid any type of drama. I tried to be respectful but definitely wanted to bring up my uneasiness and feelings about his behavior.

He tried to brush it off at first, but when I insisted, he evaded the subject. I told him what he already knows. My children are my priority as a sole provider, and I want to ensure that they have their needs covered. There were some comments on my other post that I had thought about but hadn't verbalized. Like, what would he inherit my kids or what's his plan for his own kid? I know he doesn't have much, but that's no excuse. When I established the comparison between what he wanted for his kid versus what he would give to mine, his face changed, like I was greedy and he was insulted.

He said my kids don't have a dad and that he can provide a paternal figure. This triggered me so much that I had to try and keep my volume in check. My thought is that being there like a piece of furniture in exchange for financial benefits, for his own kid is acceptable to him. I would have loved for my kids to have a decent dad, but that's just not in the cards, and right now, I'm better off alone than with Ben. I was so angry that he kept asking me to calm down. He said he's leaving his dapper good knowledge on life in general because there are things that only he can offer since her mom is too secular. Whatever that means and I didn't ask him. I said that we needed to break up and he immediately

got upset and left our table. I thought he was gone, but he came back later and claimed he only went to use the restroom. I told him that I can't share any part of my life with him after he behaved like a gold digger and that even if I was able to get past this, I would never even consider getting back together because his intentions are entitled and dishonest. All in all, I'm just glad that we weren't alone. He has high blood pressure issues, real, I've seen the medication, and sometimes, I've suspected some types of mental health issues, going from zero to 100 for things that seemed incongruent. He said he was truly sorry if he offended me and said that he felt tricked and betrayed. That breaks are meant for introspection and to seek improvement and not to abandon a

relationship. That my actions will have an impact on his daughter because she really likes me. I offered to have a last call slash text with her if he agreed but his answer was no, fuck you, you don't get to say anything to her. He said that. I'm caught up in my new mainstream life, whatever that means, it's fucking offensive considering that I've worked for my financial stability after a few years of things not being great. He told me to go suck on my colleagues D dot CKS but immediately apologized. I told him I'm not surprised at his behavior, since it shows me that he seems to think sex can solve anything.

I also said that since he was being gross and vulgar, I'm learning just now that men like him are unfuckable, homosexual, handout seekers and insincere. And that I will never date someone who is not financially stable ever again, because this is a huge lesson. I wish that I could say that I had left him sitting alone at the table, but he left first. When I was about to get my handbag to pay for my food, he rushed to get his backpack and walked off really quick. I blocked him everywhere, but I already changed my locks. He never had a key nor did he stay over, but I'm just being cautious. He called one of our friends in common to vent about me and she ended up angry with him because

he was very insistent that I had mistreated him and she told him that she needed to hear my side of the story. She and I had a long conversation and she told me that she can't blame me, because our group of friends had been noticing the imbalance in our relationship and how he seemed comfortable including himself in conversations about business and success when in the 16 years that she's known him, he's never gotten anything done. So that's my update. I also blogged. I also blogged him on social media and messaging apps. Next story, raised my late husband's kids for five years while he battled action. Now after his death their jailed mother wants me to adopt them while his parents try to block me.

This is sort of a long story but I need to share because I'm feeling so overwhelmed. My husband died one week before Thanksgiving. We were unofficially, separated at the time. We were not living together. I still loved him, but I had to be. chosen to distance myself due to his drug addiction, in hopes that he would seek treatment and get clean. He was seeking help, but it was not enough and he overdosed. He had trouble with drugs when he was younger, like college age, but he got clean and I believe he stayed clean for many

years. He had a girlfriend back then who also became addicted to drugs and they had two kids. Ultimately, he got clean, had a good job, had his life in order and was doing everything he was supposed to and he was awarded custody of their two kids. I actually knew him back in elementary and middle school. We lost touch when we attended different high schools. We didn't meet again until after that first instance of addicted and recovery. He had been clean for a few years when we met. His kids were five and three, and they're ten and eight now. Their mom had supervised visitation. I have no biological children of my own. He passed away and I devastated over it. I can't really accept it yet, but I feel especially crushed for his children.

They haven't had an easy time over the past year or so as he's dealt with his problems, and now they've suffered the ultimate loss. I've remained in their lives even while we were separated and not living together. He moved back in with his parents and took his girls with him, but I still visited them often and remained involved in all aspects of their lives. I never called myself their mom, but I essentially was their mom on a day-to-day basis. I did all the things a mom would do. Their mom was recently arrested on a burglary-related charge and is in prison. This happened after he died. I thought she was doing better. She was at his memorial and seemed more together than many times in the last. She wrote me a very heartbreaking and heartfelt letter asking me to adopt her

daughters. She basically admitted she doesn't know if she'll ever overcome her addiction, and that she doesn't want the girls to go live with relatives in either side. She wants them to stay with me because it's what they know now and she feels they're safe. She said they asked her if they can come live with me and referred to my house, our former family home, as home. I wasn't expecting that at all. She hadn't been particularly fond of me before. She's been talking for years about how she's going to get clean for her girls and get custody of them again, and she actually had some good moments but it never stuck. I feel like the world's worst person by not immediately saying yes. I haven't responded to her at all yet. I feel like the world's most evil person not immediately

saying yes. I love those girls. I've lived with them as essentially their mom for several years. I've worried about them every single day. Yet, why do I find myself thinking do I really want to do this. I also don't even know if it'll be possible and nor what kind of fight it'd be. I don't think his parents will agree so easily. I got along with his parents just fine, but they're big on family and they are absolutely destroyed by his death so I can't imagine they'd let the girls go without a big fight. I can't help but wonder what kind of possibly lifelong mess I'd be getting myself into if I pursued this. Having with her, both sides of the girls' extended family, the trauma the girls will probably be dealing with forever because of their parents.

I don't know that I'm strong enough to handle it all and it makes me feel like a horrible human being. Update, March 30th, 2025. My husband died from a drug overdose in November 2024. He had drug issues when he was in his late teens slash early 20s, got clean, and remained clean for many years. He had full custody of his two daughters, who are now 8 and 10. He relapsed sometime in 2024.

He and I were separated and living apart at the time of his death. I had hoped that he'd get things back on track and we could be together again. The mother of his daughters is also a drug addict. She never managed to get and stay clean for any significant stretches. She's been arrest multiple times. She was at his memorial service and seemed to be in good shape, for her, but she was arrested soon after that. She's still in jail now. When she first entered jail this last time, she wrote me a letter telling me she wanted me to adopt her daughters.

They'd been living with my husband's parents, but had asked me several times about when they'd be able to go home to what had been our family home. I was basically their mom. I never referred to myself as their mom and they didn't call me mom, but I filled that role. They had sporadic contact with their actual mother. In the letter she wrote me, she even told me they told her they wanted to be. wanted to live with me. I posted about all of this three months ago. Since then, I've decided to pursue custody of them. It was a huge decision and one that, while I spent a lot of time thinking about, I didn't have the luxury of taking too long. What finally tipped me over the edge

was my former in-laws saying they didn't believe the girls should go to therapy to help them deal with their father's death and they're virtually absent, drug-addicted mother. It was shocking, because what person in their right mind wouldn't think these girls should have all of the help they can get? At the same time, it wasn't surprising coming from them, they lived in denial of their son's problems too. They were the biggest enablers I ever met as well. They're extremely focused on image and achievement, just being the best, sports, competition. I believe they have good intentions, but they doesn't change how their actions affected their son, other children, or grandchildren. I never thought I'd be teaming up with my husband's XGF, but here we are. This isn't easy for her. No, she's not been a

present or good mom, but I know she wishes she was. I know it's hard for her to admit she can't be their mom. Despite her problems and her track record of extreme selfishness, I can't imagine what it takes to give up custody of your children and I'm glad she's finally putting her own wants aside to do what she thinks it best for her kids. I'm also sorry for her that despite still having parental rights over the girls, she's not being granted the authority to allow them to be adopted by somebody she designates. I understand there needs to be safety measures in place to ensure children are placed with safe people, but I'm willing to do any sort of evaluations needed to prove I can provide a safe and stable home for them. You'd think it'd be as simple as her terminating her parental rights and

indicating that she wants me to adopt the children, and while that is part of the process, it's not actually that cut and dry. His parents, who again are obsessed with winning everything, have already tried to block this with the courts. They're basically trying to file some sort of injunction where if her rights are severed, they get first chance to adopt the girls, and they are trying to drag me through the mud in the process and frame it to look like I can't be a fit parent. I may be single, but they're in their 60s.

The girls love them but they don't want to live with them full time. Up until last summer, our home where they lived with me and their dad had been their home for almost as long as they could remember. I'm not wealthy. I support myself just fine, but I don't have reserves to fight this if they really want to take it that far. And the annoying thing is, I still get the sense that ultimately they're doing this just because they want to win, and they also have an obsession with family and their family name. I never expressed any intention of trying to sever the relationship between them and the girls.

Even if I don't necessarily like or agree with certain things about them, I told them outright that I felt we all could and should be part of the girl's lives. The girls do love their grandparents and their aunts, my husband's sisters, neither of which has shown any interest in gaining custody of the girls. I think they need as many people who love and care about them in their lives, and that even includes their mother's family who I'd also grin and bear for their sake. I'm just so frustrated, and this isn't something that most people can easily relate to. I thankfully have many people who support me, even if they think I'm crazy for doing this at the

same time. It's just that I suppose there's very little advice anyone can give me from experience. My relative by marriage took my morning beverage made from soaking leaves in hot water and put it up for sale on the internet, along with all our possessions, while residing in our home. My spouse continued to support her actions until she betrayed him. Wallet and laptop My sister-in-law Clara is a certified kleptomaniac. However, her family refuses to acknowledge this fact. and instead chooses to ignore it, pretending that she doesn't exhibit any signs of kleptomania.

Meeting Stevens' family for the first time when we had just started dating was an eye-opener, especially when it came to his sister. While everyone else was warm and welcoming, Clara seemed to have made up her mind about not liking me from the start. During lunch, she barely acknowledged my presence and avoided any interaction with me. I tried initiating conversation, even going as far as following her to the washroom, hoping for a chance to clear the air privately. However, what I stumbled upon in the washroom took me by surprise. There she was, discreetly stealing tissue paper from inside the washroom and putting them in her purse,

which struck me as both disgusting and strange. Our eyes met, and she seemed taken aback that I had caught her in the act. Without saying a word, I chose to exit the situation gracefully, not wanting to embarrass her further or escalate the tension. After the awkward encounter with Stephen's sister, I felt compelled to discuss it with him, however, his response caught me off guard. He simply laughed it off, dismissing her behavior as not a big deal, suggesting she probably needed a tissue for something. He told me that I was overthinking for no reason. While I tried to accept his explanation and let it go, it didn't quite sit right with me.

Over the years, I have noticed similar incidents where Clara would take out items from different places. further fueling my suspicion that she might be struggling with kleptomania. For example, one time Stephen's mother, Janice, invited me to go shopping with her. I was excited to spend some one-on-one time with her, however, upon arriving at the mall, I realized that Clara, Stephen's sister, was also joining us. I greeted her politely, but she merely nodded her head towards me in acknowledgement without saying a single word. While Janice and I went around the mall looking for some new clothes,

Clara followed us all along. When we were trying out clothes, I noticed that Clara kept entering the fitting rooms with clothes but never came out with any of them. She would comment that none of the dresses looked good on her or suited her, even though she had tried on quite a few. Initially, I didn't pay much attention to this, thinking it was just her particular taste. Later, when we came out of the store and stopped for ice cream after our shopping spree, Clara generously offered to pay for everyone. As she opened her bag to retrieve her wallet, I noticed a familiar blue dress inside, the same one she had tried on earlier in the trial room and dismissed by saying it was too tight for her.

I couldn't understand what the dress was doing in her handbag, and it raised a red flag in my mind. So I asked her when she had bought the dress from the store since I hadn't seen her make the purchase. My question caught the attention of Janice, who also looked back and noticed the dress in her daughter's bag. Clara quickly tried to conceal the dress by closing her bag and avoiding looking at me directly. It was quite apparent to me that Clara had clearly stolen the dress, and I just stared at her incredulously as she stammered to come up with an excuse. However, Janice then interrupted to downplay the seriousness of the matter, mentioning that maybe Clara had done that by mistake and that many people sometimes accidentally take things from the store. I was taken aback by her reaction,

and I guess mother-in-law must have noticed my face change because she immediately backtracked on her words. She tried to clarify that she had no idea that Clara would do such a thing, and we should just forget about it. I argued back that if it was indeed an unintentional oversight, then we should rectify it by returning the dress. However, Janice insisted that going back to the store was unnecessary. She pointed out that the store was a large multinational corporation with plenty of clothes, implying that if Clara indeed stole this one dress, then it wasn't really a significant loss to them. Despite her attempts to dissuade me, I stood my ground firmly. I insisted that I would go back and pay for the dress, and they could either accompany me or I would go alone.

Reluctantly, Janice and Clara agreed to accompany me back to the store, and in the end, I had to pay for the wretched dress since apparently Clara didn't even have enough money to pay for it. The whole incident just left a bitter taste in my mouth. Later that evening, I tried to talk to Stephen about what had happened. I explained the situation with Clara and how uncomfortable it had made me. To my surprise, Stephen told me I should have let it go and not embarrassed his sister, arguing that it wasn't really harming anyone. His response frustrated me.

I told him I couldn't just ignore my moral responsibility, even if his family seemed comfortable with such behavior. Stephen took great offense to my words, and the conversation quickly escalated into a heated argument. He demanded that I apologize to him for saying such things about his family, but I refused. The disagreement grew so intense that I even considered breaking up with him if he couldn't find a resolution. Thankfully, after a few days of cooling off and reflecting, Stephen came back to me with an apology. We had a long, heartfelt conversation where we realized that fighting over our family members wasn't worth jeopardizing our relationship. He admitted he was

really protective about his sister, however, he understood why I felt the way I did and offered to pay me back for the dress. I declined his offer, appreciating the gesture. Since that day, I promised myself that I would just keep my mouth shut when it comes to his sister. The second incident involving Clara occurred at Stephen's cousin's baby shower. The event was filled with joy and anticipation as everyone gathered bearing gifts from her registry. Stephen's cousin, just two months away from giving birth, had a prominent baby bump and was beaming with excitement. We helped her cut the cake and open some of the gifts, sharing in her happiness. Later, I excused myself to use the washroom. As I walked past the bedroom, I was shocked to see

Clara rummaging through all the gift boxes. She was sifting through the presents, clearly looking for something to steal, and my heart sank as I realized what she was about to do. Clara was planning to steal from an expectant mother who needed these items far more than Clara did. Although I had promised myself to keep my mouth shut about Clara's behavior after the last incident, I couldn't stand by and let her steal from someone so vulnerable. The thought of an expectant mother being deprived of essential items for her baby because of Clara's kleptomania was too much to bear. Despite my resolve to avoid conflict, I knew I had to intervene in some way. Knowing that Clara would be embarrassed if

caught, I decided to handle the situation subtly. I walked back a few steps and cleared my throat, pretending to pass by again, hoping Clara would get the hint. As I approached the bedroom, I greeted her casually, making it seem like I had just happened to be passing through. Clara's reaction was immediate, she quickly stopped rummaging, got up, and exited the bedroom to rejoin the guests in the living room. I watched her go, shaking my head in disbelief at the lengths she would go to indulge her compulsion. It was clear to me just how problematic and inappropriate her behavior was, and it left me feeling even more uneasy about her presence at family gatherings. This time, I chose not to talk to Stephen about it, as I did not want another

unnecessary fight where he would defend his sister and act like she didn't have a major issue. The final incident that truly sealed the nail and the coffin happened at our wedding. My mother had gifted me a pair of beautiful blue earrings that had been passed down through generations in our family. It was an incredibly emotional moment when she handed them to me, saying that one day I could pass them on to my own children. These earrings were my something blue for the wedding ceremony, and I cherished them deeply. After the ceremony was done and Stephen and I were officially married, I had planned on changing into a more comfortable outfit for our reception so I could move around and dance freely with my family and friends. I left the earrings

in my bridal room, confident they would be safe. The very very very very. The very very The venue was reputable and secure, and the only people present were our wedding guests whom I trusted implicitly. The reception was a joyous occasion. Stephen and I danced the night away, basking in the love and happiness that surrounded us. I couldn't believe that he was finally my husband. It was a perfect night filled with laughter and celebration. However, in the early hours of the morning, when my bridesmaids and I returned to the bridal suite to pack up our belongings, I noticed that the earrings were missing. Panic set in immediately as I looked around the room.

I knew all my bridesmaids well, they were my childhood friends and would never steal from me. Everyone began frantically searching the room, hoping the earrings had simply fallen or been misplaced somewhere. My heart pounded as we tore the room apart, looking into every nook and cranny. I was freaking out in crying, devastated by the loss. These earrings meant so much to me, far beyond their financial value. They were a symbol of my family's heritage. As we continued searching, a terrible suspicion began to creep into my mind. I knew there was only one person at our wedding who was capable of stealing. Throughout the evening, I noticed Clara acting strangely. She had been hovering around the bridal room earlier, and during the reception, she had gone

missing for some time. In hindsight, her overall behavior seemed very suspicious. My heart sank as I considered the possibility that she might have taken the earrings, since I already knew she liked stealing. Confronting Clara was the last thing I wanted to do on my wedding night, but the thought of losing such a precious family heirloom was unbearable. I took a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves, and walked over to where she was standing, surrounded by the rest of our family. With as much calm as I could muster, I asked her if she had seen my earrings. Clara's eyes widened and she stammered out of denial, but her reaction only made me more certain. My bridesmaids, sensing the tension, gathered around us, their expressions a mix of concern and suspicion. The atmosphere in the room grew thick with unease as I pressed her further,

my voice trembling with a mix of fear and anger as I confronted Clara about the missing earrings. Janice approached us, her face a mix of curiosity and concern. She asked what I was doing, but I held up my hand to stop her from interrupting. My eyes locked onto Clara's, and I repeated my question more firmly this time. Clara looked increasingly uncomfortable, her eyes darting around the room. And just then, Stephen came over, sensing the growing tension. He tried to pull me away, suggesting that maybe I had too much to drink. His words only fueled my frustration.

I turned to him, my voice steady but filled with anger, and I told him that he knew very very well I had hardly touched any alcohol that night, so he should not even suggest such a ridiculous thing. I turned back to Clara, glaring at her, my patience wearing thin. The room fell silent as everyone watched the confrontation unfold. Clara's face turned pale, and she began to stammer, trying to deny any wrongdoing, but I could see through her act. Finally, with a shaky hand, Clara reached into her purse and pulled out my earrings. She handed them to me with a mumbled apology, her eyes avoiding mine. The relief I felt at seeing the earrings was almost overwhelming, but it was quickly overshadowed by a surge of anger and betrayal. Janice and Stephen looked on,

stunned. Janice's face flushed with embarrassment while Stephen's expression shifted from disbelief to anger as he realized what had happened. The room was thick with tension as the reality of Clara's actions sank in. I can't believe you would do this on our wedding day, I said, my voice shaking with a mix of hurt and fury. Clara mumbled another apology, but it felt hollow. This wasn't just about the earrings, it was also about trust and respect. Stephen, now fully grasping the situation,

turned to Clara, his face a mask of disappointment and anger. How could you do this? He demanded, his voice low but intense. Clara had no answer. She stood there, looking down at her feet, unable to meet anyone's eyes. The incident was the final straw, confirming all my worst suspicions about her kleptomania and reinforcing my determination to protect myself from her destructive behavior.

Stephen, for the first time, stood by me, acknowledging that Clara's actions were unacceptable. My mother, who had been watching the whole scene unfold, was far less gracious than I had been. She angrily yelled at Clara that she had no right to steal from her own family members. This is when Janice tried to defend her daughter's actions, claiming it might have been accidental. I had had enough of their excuses. I turned to Janice and with a calm but firm voice said, Janice, you know very well that your daughter has a problem. She needs to go to therapy before she steals more important things from people.

The bluntness of my words seemed to hit Janice hard. She opened her mouth to say something but then thought better of it and fell silent. Clara looked even more ashamed. My mother, still fuming at Clara, added, This is your brother's wedding, a day of celebration. How could you bring yourself to ruin it by stealing something so precious from our family? As the room remained silent, I could feel the eyes of our guests on us, their shock and discomfort palpable.

The joyous atmosphere of the wedding had been tainted by Clara's actions. In the days that followed our wedding, Stephen and I had several long conversations about his sister's behavior and how we would handle her in the future. He apologized profusely for doubting me initially and agreed that Clara needed professional help. We also decided to set clear boundaries with her to protect ourselves and our future family. After Stephen had a long talk with his mother, and also after several people reached out to Janice, she firmly admitted that Clara did indeed have a problem.

It wasn't easy for her to face, but the pressure from family and friends made her realize that she couldn't ignore her daughter's issues any longer. Acknowledging the severity of the situation, Janice took decisive action. She arranged for Clara to see a therapist, hoping that professional help could address the underlying issues driving her kleptomania. In addition to therapy, Clara also joined a kleptomaniac support group. This group helped her connect with other individuals who shared similar struggles, providing her with the opportunity to talk about her addiction openly and understand it better. Although I never stayed in touch with Clara after the incident at my wedding, I would keep tabs on her through what Stephen would tell me.

Despite the hurt and betrayal I felt, I was forgiving enough to give her the benefit of the doubt and hope that she could truly recover from her addiction. Over the years, Clara seemed to improve significantly. She even met someone from her support group who understood her struggles and eventually became her husband. To our surprise, Clara and her partner had a shotgun wedding one day, choosing to keep her support. keep it very private. They didn't invite anyone and only informed us through Janice the night after the wedding had taken place. Unfortunately, the marriage didn't last very long for the two of them. It turns out Clara's husband was caught stealing important documents and equipment like keyboards and mouse from his workplace. His repeated thefts over the years led to his arrest and subsequent sentencing to serve time. The news devastated Clara, and with nowhere else to go, no job to sustain her,

choice but to move back in with Janice. Janice took her in for a few months, but it quickly became clear that it wasn't a sustainable solution since she didn't have enough money to take care of her jobless daughter every month. Clara wasn't making any progress in getting back on her feet, and Janice was tired of the situation. Knowing that Stephen and I lived in a bigger place without any rent, since we had bought the place years ago, Janice called Stephen for help, asking if we could let Clara stay with us for a few months while she worked on getting back on her feet. When Stephen brought up the idea, I was vehemently against it. Just recently, we welcomed a wonderful baby boy into our lives, and taking care of our son while balancing work has been

quite a task. Given this busy time and my discomfort around Clara, I didn't want to have her at our place, especially someone who likes to steal. I did not want the added tension in our life, so I asked him if Clara had even started looking for a job during all the months she had been unemployed and was staying over at Janice's place, but Stephen shook his head no. However, he assured me that perhaps staying with us would motivate her to work on herself and express that as her brother, he should be there for her in this difficult time. Stephen also assured me that Clara had changed and wasn't a kleptomaniac anymore, so I didn't have to worry about her stealing from me anymore.

Despite my strong reservations against her, I begrudgingly agreed to let her move in, hoping that Stephen's faith in his sister would be justified. The arrangement began with Clara moving into our guest room. She was quite polite and friendly to me when she moved in, and it looked like she seemed to have changed. However, I was on edge and kept a close eye on my belongings just in case. Clara initially seemed grateful and determined to make things work. She promised she would look for a job and contribute to the household. However, weeks passed, and there was little sign of progress.

Clara spent most of her days in her room doing absolutely nothing but sleeping in her bed the whole day and only coming out of the room when she was hungry. I started to worry that we had made a mistake. Stephen tried to reassure me, reminding me that Clara needed our support. I wanted to believe him, but the anxiety lingered. Despite my misgivings, I continued to support Stephen's decision, hoping that our help would make a difference in Clara's life. However, to no one surprise, I began noticing items going missing from my kitchen. For instance, my expensive ceramic plate, which I usually only reserve for guests, mysteriously disappeared when I needed it for a guest who had come over to our place.

Initially, I brushed it off, thinking I must have misplaced it, but deep down, I knew I was usually organized about such things. The suspicion lingered, but I chose to dismiss it, hoping it was just a case of misplacement so I would not have to confront Clara. Next, my childhood mug, a cherished item I had used to drink my coffee every day for decades, disappeared one morning. This was not only weird but a significant blow because the mug held sentimental value, as it was gifted to me by my grandfather.

When I couldn't find it, I asked Stephen for help in searching the house. He knew how much that mug meant to me, so he was worried as well. When we couldn't find it anywhere, I suggested confronting Clara about, it since I had a strong suspicion, and she was the only one who could have taken it. However, Stephen discouraged me. He argued that Clara was already going through a tough time and urged me to let him handle the situation. So I reluctantly agreed. When Stephen confronted Clara about the missing items, she adamantly denied any involvement, insisting that we must have misplaced them somewhere. I could clearly hear their heated argument echoing from her room.

It was clear that Clara refused to accept any responsibility, and Stephen, still holding on to a soft spot for his sister, emerged from the room to inform me that Clara had nothing to do with it. I scoffed at his delusional behavior. It was hard to believe that Clara, given her history, would suddenly be innocent in this situation. Frustrated and feeling like I had to take matters into my own hands, I began locking away all my important belongings I even went as far as purchasing another safe from Amazon. specifically to secure my expensive perfume bottles and makeup items. Stephen thought my actions were ridiculous and accused me of not trusting his sister. In the midst of our argument, he even labeled me a bored stay-at-home mom, which was utterly ridiculous considering I had a thriving freelancing career and earned more than enough just by working from home while also taking care of our kid full-time.

I argued back passionately, insisting that he had no right to call me that. Just because I didn't go to an office every day like he did didn't mean my work wasn't important. I reminded him that I not only worked but also took care of our son and managed the house. I went on to further explain that as long as Clara stayed with us, things would continue to go missing. I told him firmly that this was either a return to her old ways, or she had never truly stopped stealing in the first place. However, Stephen refused to believe that his sister was stealing from us. He and I were at odds over this, with him wanting to believe in Clara's innocence and me feeling the need to protect myself and my belongings. Well, I didn't have to wait long for my suspicions to be validated.

Yesterday, Stephen woke up to find his laptop missing as he prepared for work. Initially, he asked me if I had taken it for some reason, but I assured him that I wouldn't do that since I had my own laptop. Then he speculated that perhaps he had left it in the office the previous night. However, things took a more serious turn when he realized that his wallet was also missing from the drawer downstairs where he kept his car keys. This was a major concern because his wallet contained not only a substantial amount of money but also his driver's license and credit cards. Stephen began to panic as he searched frantically around the house, checking every nook and cranny, hoping to find his missing belongings. I could see his anxiety mounting with each passing moment. Meanwhile, I sat there with a knowing smile, as I had already pieced together who was responsible

for this. As Stephen called out for Clara, his voice filled with increasing worry and frustration, there was no response. He hurried into her room, expecting to find her there, but the room was empty. He continued to call out for her, his voice echoing through the house, but there was still no answer. Then he turned to me and asked if I knew where she was, but I simply shrugged, unable to to hide my satisfaction at being proven right. Stephen's frustration was palpable as he then repeatedly tried to call Clara, only to be met with silence on the other end. His anger grew, and he dialed his mother's number to vent his frustrations.

However, instead of receiving the sympathy he sought, Janice attempted to pacify him by downplaying the whole situation again. She mentioned that even if Clara did steal his wallet, the items inside were replaceable anyway. This further infuriated Stephen. He erupted in anger during the call, telling her that Clara had no right to steal from him when he had been defending her to me all this while. I couldn't help but shake my head and laugh in disbelief, realizing just how much this family tended to baby Clara and defended her actions even when they faced serious consequences like this. When Clara finally decided to return home in the evening after not picking up Stevens' calls all day, she looked like she had just come from a bar, clearly a

intoxicated. Stephen, who had been consumed with worry and frantically trying to reach her, immediately confronted her about his missing laptop and wallet. Clara, in her drunken state, attempted to calm him down by denying any involvement at first. However, Stephen's frustration was at a breaking point, and he threatened to involve the authorities if she didn't come clean about the theft. At this ultimatum, Clara broke down and tearfully admitted the truth. It turns out that Clara had started an online store where she had been systematically stealing from us for the past few weeks that she had been living with us and selling our belongings on her store. My disbelief turned to horror when she confessed to everything she had stolen from us,

including my breast milk, which she claimed was highly valuable and had fetched a significant amount of money. I listened and discussed as Clara confessed to stealing not just Stephen's belongings but also my prize ceramics, including my expensive pieces and my cherished old mug. She admitted to taking various other items from around the house that were lying around. Stephen, overwhelmed with a mix of anger and betrayal, started shouting at her for violating his trust. As I write this, Clara is still in our home, and I am utterly disgusted by her presence. I feel strongly that she needs to leave our place, and I believe my husband needs to show some backbone in handling the situation. Out of all the things she has done, I can't believe she has been stealing my breast milk.

which is intended just for my baby. I want to call the police on her, but I know it will drastically spoil my relationship with my husband. Ida if I kick my sister-in-law out after everything she's stolen from us? Update 1. Wow, when I posted this last week, I had no idea that my post would become this popular. It's quite amusing that some of you have been suggesting I leave my husband over this situation. I'm not going to break up my marriage just because Stephen has a kleptomaniac sister.

Like many people, my husband has a soft spot for his family, and that's something I understand and respect. Despite our disagreements regarding his sister, he is the one who has suffered the most after his laptop and wallet were stolen by her. Also, if I forgot to write this earlier, I'm mentioning it now. Clara did return his credit cards, but she had already sold the wallet and laptop and used whatever cash she found in his wallet for drinking at a bar. Now coming on to the main update. I reached a point last week where I had to put an ultimatum on my husband. Either he asked his sister to move out, or I take our son to my parents' place. If Clara continued to stay with us, I couldn't tolerate living with someone who would steal my breast milk to earn money from random strangers.

It was creepy and disgusting. Surprisingly, Stephen admitted that he had been contemplating the same thing. He was relieved that I brought it up and assured me that he would ask her to leave. We both sat down to talk to his sister and gave her a day's notice to move out immediately. Initially, Clara panicked and called Janice in desperation, who in turn called Stephen to change his mind. However, Stephen had reached his limit and firmly stated that Janice needed to take care of her own daughter because he needed to prioritize me and our baby. He also didn't hold back in informing Janice about all the weird things Clara had been stealing from us, which effectively silenced Janice. Clara officially moved out yesterday, and I know it's not very nice of me to say this, but I'm glad that she's finally gone from our lives.

I'm also glad that she did what she did because now my husband has learned his lesson, and he will never agree to invite her to stay with us, which brings me a great sense of relief. Partner has an overly sensitive female acquaintance who behaves affectionately solely in his presence, and when I attempted to address the issue, he became upset. Subsequently, I uncovered the reality. about what he was hiding. My boyfriend Justin, 26M, and I, 23F, have been a couple for just over seven months but started dating a couple months before that. So in all I've known him less than a year and I'm already head over heels for him and feel like I've known him forever. I know it's still our honeymoon phase, but I've genuinely never felt this strongly about another guy before, and have definitely never thought as long term as I'm thinking with him. Justin is confident, charismatic,

passionate and driven, intelligent and emotionally mature, values his family, is especially kind to children and elderly people, and just has a presence that lights up the room. It also doesn't hurt that he's 6 feet 1 inch, handsome, has a yummy body, and is an amazing lover anyway, L.O.L., the only real problem in our relationship, from my point of view, is his friendship with Olivia 24F, who is as known since her first year of university, six years. BF is smart with women, used to attention, and doesn't cross boundaries with them. The only time he comes close is with Olivia, and even then, it's mostly her initiating things, but the way she behaves around him is honestly the number one source of conflict in our relationship.

I am quite friendly with Justin's circle of friends now and I hang out with them at least once per week, so things can be pretty uncomfortable for me. Things that make me uncomfortable, she is exactly my BF's type, not really her fault I know. I have seen a few girls that my BF has been with from his social media, and they all look more or less like Olivia. She's 170 centimeters, 5 feet 8 inches, athletically built, has cat eyes and a pouty mouth, and just gives off a sexy aura. I'm 162 centimeters, 5 feet 3 inches, in shape, and have a decent face but one, it bothers me that I'm nothing close to Justin's type and two, that Olivia is his type. Olivia has always been nice enough to me, but when I first met her she gave me an eyebrows raised. Let's see how long you last kind of look.

I admit that I could be overthinking this one. She's always finding excuses to touch Justin. An example is brushing food off of his clothes slash face, Hello, that's my job, or fixing his shirt collar. She also likes to give him back hugs. Once, she hugged him from behind and I overheard her saying how come you never give me back hugs anymore. The way she said it was low and whispery and rubbed me the wrong way. I'm 99% sure an objective passerby could have interpreted her tone as seductive.

When I brought it up to Justin, all he said was yeah, that was weird, I guess. She has this cute act that she does for Justin when he doesn't want to do something for her. Sometimes, this is probably weird in itself. She'll ask him to buy her something, like an ice cream, and when he says no, she'll stand in front of him and pout and make dear eyes. Or sometimes she just grabs him and pushes him towards whatever she wants, points to it, and as the cutesy act, she greets him by saying, hey, you. And winking and pretends shooting him, Justin only listens to Olivia. He's a pretty stubborn guy and doesn't really follow others, unless it's Olivia.

One of the things that bothers me the most in this regard is an incident that happened in a club. Justin and I were drinking with his friends, when another group of people got in an argument with some of Justin's guy friends. Justin tried to defuse the situation at first, but the others guys were extremely disrespectful and he was on the verge of fighting three guys at once. I kept telling him to leave them alone, but he just wouldn't back down, even after the bartender threatened to call the police. Then Olivia walks over to him, pulls him by the arm and yells at him, stop. You're acting stupid.

She dragged him to the bar and they were talking there alone for 15 minutes. I know I probably should have went and checked on him, but I was pretty shocked slash angry considering what just happened. One of Justin's friends noticed me watching and told me, don't feel bad. It's always been this way with them which obviously made me feel worse. Yesterday we went to dinner with his friends. The day was pretty warm, so Justin was only wearing a t-shirt, but by the time we finished it was windy and quite a bit colder. We decided to take a walk along the river walk, and Olivia suddenly wrapped her cardigan around my BF's shoulders. He started joking around and posing like a model before giving it back, but I kind of wish he would have

just given it back to her right away. There are a lot of these kinds of instances where Olivia will do small, caring things for him. Things that a GF does, my woman's intuition just tells me that Olivia wants more from Justin than he's giving her. She's sarcastic and rude to him half the time, because that's their dynamic slash her personality. However, when he's not paying attention to her, I sometimes catch her stealing glances at him. Sometimes she looks smitten, sometimes she looks straight up lustful,

and sometimes she looks sad. I think it's obvious she has feelings for him, but when I brought it up with my BF, he told me they were just close. There is much more to add, but I'm just going to end with this. I understand that some people are natural flirts, but Olivia doesn't act like this to any other.

guys in their group. Her personality is pretty strong. She's sarcastic and relentlessly teases them, but no touching, no cuties why act, none of the small, thoughtful stuff, and definitely none of the misty odd gazes. Some of the guys even jokingly complain that they're jealous that she only acts like a girl to Justin. Yesterday, after the cardigan thing, when Justin dropped me off I asked him to talk because I've been growing more insecure about his friendship with Olivia. We talked in my apartment for around one hour about it and didn't really make any progress. Basically, he agreed not to meet Olivia alone, but said that she was important to him, told me some things they helped each other get through in university, and that he wanted her in his

life. I tried to initiate sex with him after that, but he said he was tired and left. I cried after that and called my older sister and talked about the situation. She told me that since Justin hasn't done anything to break my trust, that I should continue. continue trusting him and that there's a reason he's with me and not Olivia. She also said that if he crosses the line, I need to be strong enough to leave him. I also called my best friend this morning. She, on the other hand, is convinced that Justin and Olivia were or are more than just close. She thinks I need to give him an ultimatum, choose the friendship or the relationship. Basically, I'm at a loss for what to do now. I love Justin and really think we have a future together,

but this friendship with Olivia is driving me crazy. Is this just jealousy slash my insecurities or do I really need to give my BF an ultimatum? I really, really like him but I don't know if I'll ever be comfortable in this relationship as long as Olivia is a part of his life. Edit, thank you all for your replies. I tried to respond to as many as possible. In reading your comments, my own post and some self-reflecting I realize that a lot of the issue has to do with my insecurities slash fears about what could be happening.

or what may happen in the future. I don't know why it's been so hard for me to stop rationalizing these fears and accept that they aren't indicative of what actually is happening. That being said, though I realize that a lot of the points of discomfort I've felt are purely a result of my gut feelings, there are still several things that Olivia does with my BF that are personally not okay with me. I understand that it was wrong of me to even entertain the thought of asking Justin to distance himself from her. But at the same time, if they really are that close and nothing farther than platonic feelings are being shared, I think that one, my BF shouldn't have a problem establishing within reason boundaries with a female friend whose behavior makes his GF uncomfortable, and that too, that female friend should understand and respect those wishes. I understand that some of the things that bother me, like her cute act or some of her other affectionate gestures, might just be part of her personality towards him and that I'll probably just have to suck it up and deal with it. But for me, it's within reason for him to ask that she cut out the intimate physical stuff like the back hugs, grabbing his arm incessantly, brushing his hair slash face, clothes, etc.

Justin and I haven't talked much today, but I'm meeting him later tonight and I will tell him exactly what I've written above. I'm not going to ask him to stop being friends with her, and I'm not going to ask her to distance himself from her. I'm also going to ask him to clarify some things for me, like the extent of their physical relationship slash if there's any romantic history between them that I'm not aware of. Some people might have a problem with this, but I think that given the nature of their relationship slash the fact that they see each other so often, he should be transparent about it. I think this conversation will help me decide whether a compromise can be made and I can learn to deal with their friendship healthily, or if I will have to do the hard thing and walk away, which I really, really don't want to do. Update, I met just in the night

after I added the edit to the original post, with the intentions of telling him that I was wrong for wanting him to distance himself from Olivia, but that I wanted one, for him to ask that she toned down the physical intimacy and two, that he disclosed the extent of their relationship in the past. I.e. how far their physical relationship has gone, if either of them has confessed romantic feelings, which was something I previously wondered about but always avoided asking him. That talk didn't go as planned at all. I thought he was going to be understanding of me and honest about his feelings, but he stonewalled me and was super rude and an all-around asshole to me. As soon as I brought up Olivia, he laughed and shook his head and asked me if I was really going to do this shit again.

I tried my best not to get emotional and just explain my point of view, the whole time he was leaning his head against the wall, didn't make eye contact, and was playing with his earrings. So when I asked if he understood my feelings and was okay with what I was asking of him, he smiled sarcastically and said, of course, honey with a fake tone. He was extremely angry when I asked if they have hooked up before, his exact words were you haven't even been my GF for a year, if you think you're entitled to know every little detail from my past, fuck yourself. He walked out after saying that, and I cried. He'd never talked to me like that or expressed anger towards me before, I was shocked, hurt and angry. Obviously he was hiding something. I didn't know if something had happened between them or he had feelings for her or what, but I wanted to talk with him again so I met him. him telling him I wasn't trying to make him mad. But that I felt like we needed to talk again. He didn't reply to my messages that night,

and the next morning he still hadn't replied. I never thought I would do this, but I sent Olivia a message asking to meet for a coffee. Surprisingly, she answered almost immediately and agreed to meet in the afternoon. When we met I told her about my feelings about their relationship, how Justin had reacted the other night, and straight up asked her if there was any romantic feelings between them.

She admitted that she has feelings for Justin, but that it was complicated. She said she loves him and hates him at the same time. She told me that I should leave him, that she wasn't just saying that because she wants to be with him instead of me, but that it was because Justin has always been a player, has been charming and leaving girls for years, that she's waited for him to change, that she knew she could never be truly happy staying by his side as a friend. That she should leave him too but couldn't. I thought she might try to BS me, but she seemed very sincere when saying these things. I asked her what the extent of their relationship was like in the past, and she told me that

basically, she was attracted to Justin at first sight when they first met in university, but that Justin had a long-distance GF at the time. Justin broke up with his LDGF, they got closer, Justin had some problems, she wouldn't tell me what they were, that he counseled to her about, this led to them kissing one night and having sex. That was her first time. She confessed feelings to Justin, but he said he didn't want their friendship to be affected if the relationship didn't work out. They were on and off FWBs throughout college. Justin had a handful of short-lived relationships during that time and he cheated on one of his GFs with Olivia. She claimed at this point that they haven't had sex since he's been in a

relationship with me, I'd quote to believe. When they graduated, their friend group rented a vacation pension on an island. One night their friend Ashley walks in on them in the bathroom. Justin told Ashley that it was a drunk mistake, Olivia was extremely hurt and refused to see or speak to Justin for weeks. After being ignored, Justin apologizes to her, tells her he has feelings for her, and they go on a few secret dates but Justin never commits to a relationship and then backtracks and says he's confused about his feelings not ready for anything serious. From that point on, they went back to being FWBs until Justin met me. I'm a little confused and skeptical as to why she's told me all this, so I ask if she has any proof. She searches chat logs and shows me multiple messages of him booty

calling her. She starts getting emotional and tells me that Justin has amazing qualities but that he has some deep personal issues that he refuses to work on that prevent him from being a good partner right now. I asked her what she meant, but she wouldn't tell me. I could tell that she cares about him a lot. She's been single this whole time. There were likely many opportunities for her to end up in a happy relationship, but she turned a blind eye to them all for Justin, who can't even admit that he has feelings for her. Even though I didn't like some of the things she did before,

I actually sympathize with her a lot. It sounds like Justin put her through a ton of shit, given her false hope and taken it away, and she's always stayed by him for whatever reason. After, she tells me not to worry about throwing her under the bus because she was going to tell Justin herself that she told me about them. She said she wanted him to be mad at her. Later that night Justin called me trying to explain himself to me, but I broke up with him.

I was crying on the phone. I really didn't want to break up, but I knew it was the right thing for me to do. Regardless of what was true or false about his past, it was just too much drama for me handle and the way he reacted to me when I had originally wanted to talk to him scared me. He didn't try to fight me or ask me to say, we just kind of sat in silence on the phone for a while before hung up. It's been about two weeks since then, I know that Justin was probably a bad boy and it was only a matter of time before he broke my heart, but I feel devastated. I'm just starting to be able to get back into my normal routines, but even then sometimes it's just so hard to get out of bed. I think about Justin every day.

It's like the more I'm away from him, the more I think about the good things we had together. I miss his smell, his laugh, his touch, just being able to be with him whenever I want. Part of me hoped he would reach out to me, but he hasn't. I met Olivia last week and she told me that Justin wasn't talking to her anymore, and that it was probably a good time for her to move on from him. My ass. Last night I saw Olivia uploaded a couple white picture of her and Justin on Instagram. They were in a nightclub or some dark place.

He had his arm wrapped around her with a drink in that hand and she was sipping from the straw. I know it was a mistake not to block slash unfollow Justin and his friends. After I saw that I blocked and unfollow them all. That was kind of what inspired me to post an update. I don't know if Olivia played me or if Justin is working his magic on her again, but I just feel shitty all around. It hurts no, but I know these people would have been toxic for me if I had stayed with him. It just hurts so much more than I'd imagined. Next story, boyfriend claims his chronic pain stops him from doing chores and going out with me, but he can still go kayaking with friends and have fun time whenever he wants. I, 26F, have been with my boyfriend,

30M, for a little under two years. In the time we've been together his chronic pain, which isn't connected to any particular slash known condition as he refuses to go to the doctor, has gotten worse and worse. It's reached a point where he's almost incapable of doing chores or house projects, is usually too exhausted slash in pain to make or agree to plans and getting him to do anything outside of the house together is like pulling teeth. His objections always revolve around his pain and fatigue. I've never suffered from chronic pain, and thank God, so I'm not one to judge or accuse someone of making it up since the pain itself is invisible and my boyfriend looks perfectly healthy. But he's now been unemployed for about four months and I'm starting to question things.

I'm starting to feel doubtful for a number of reasons, and the main one that's the main one that's are that A, he never turns down his friends' invitations to hang out, even when the activity is something physically intense like kayaking or going hiking or going to a music festival and and B, he is never too tired slash in too much pain to have sex. Over time it's almost made it seem like he's conveniently in an unbearable amount of pain when he has to do something he isn't all that interested in, i.e. chores, and I'm starting to feel hurt that he just doesn't seem to want to hang out with me outside of what we do lazing around the house. I've never accused him of faking or exaggerating his pain, but I have tried to talk to him about doing more fun stuff together,

and it always circles back to his pain or him accusing me of trying to keep him from spending time with his friends, which I'm not trying to do by any means. I've done a ton of research into autoimmune disorders and other conditions that could be causing his problem, always bringing my findings and suggestions to him, but he just doesn't believe a doctor or any traditional medicine will help him. I'm also bothered because when we go to family outings or parties that we're both invited to, it's rare, but it does happen. He will talk anyone who will listen Zeyer off about how bad his chronic pain is and how frustrating it is to not be able to find a solution. The thing is, he's not actually looking for a solution. He just smokes weed every day

and calls the good enough while lamenting and complaining that his body is the way that it is. He also refuses to return to work because of his pain. For additional context, he seems to have really extreme muscle spasms slash tightness, particularly in his back. I'm happy to support him through hard times, but the fact that he won't work is getting concerning and I feel severely stuck. I'm not interested in supporting him financially on a long-standing basis, but at the moment I partially am by covering some of his expenses. If this post makes me a total asshole for questioning the degree of my boyfriend's chronic pain, so be it. I just need help and answers. So, here are my questions, where do I go from here? Do you think it's possible that my boyfriend is using his

pain as a crutch? Should I put some kind of ultimatum in place that will get him medical care slash attention? Your advice is appreciated. Update, March 21st, 2025. Thank you to everyone who responded to my post and was so compassionate and kind. It was incredible to hear from so many people who actively battle chronic pain slash illness and those with loved ones who do. I hope to continue deepening my empathy towards anyone who is struggling with an invisible illness. On to my update. Armed with some fresh perspectives and some fresh frustrations, L.O.L. I talked to my boyfriend and told him that he needs to see a doctor or I will no longer be able

to support him financially and stand by while he remains unemployed and unmotivated to get the help he needs. I also addressed the idea of managing slash balancing his energy levels differently so that we're able to share household responsibilities more effectively, spend quality time together and keep him doing the things he loves with his friends. His response was really bad. He told me that if I'm not willing to step up and clean around the house, something I'm already doing, that there's no use living together and that my efforts to clean are the bare minimum and not good enough for his standards anyway. He was also really mad that I haven't taken initiative to take care of yard projects and car repairs. He sat there and spouted off a whole list of things I'm not noticing and cleaning. And, once again, he was focused on this idea that I don't like his friends slash him jealous of them and want him spending less time with them, which isn't true at all. This really stung. He basically brushed over everything I said and focused on my perceived faults. This told me everything I need to know and I told him I was leaving. He was just, mad. not sad or hurt at all. I'm still crying excessively over his whole reaction. I still don't know

how real or unreal his chronic pain is, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. Thank you again, everyone, for your support and kindness. I'm truly at a loss. The man was weeping about his former partner's engagement, then asked for my hand in marriage the following day as his second pick, so I ended the relationship with him and discovered he had departed the nation. To win her back. I, 22F, met my boyfriend, 24M, about three years ago through some friends who all went to the same university. We were at this house party and he was just sitting in the corner not talking to anyone. Initially I thought he was just one of those pretentious guys who thinks he's too good to socialize,

but then our mutual friend Jake introduced us and explained that he's just really shy around new people. When we first met, he was super guarded and didn't really talk much. I was the one who pursued him because I thought he was cute and I liked how quiet and mysterious he seemed. We exchanged numbers that night but he never texted me, so after a few days I decided to text him first. It took him forever to reply to my messages, but eventually we started talking more regularly. We were long distance for a while since I was living in Oregon finishing up college and he was in Washington working at some tech company, but we made it work with weekend visits and stuff. The drive was like four hours each way which sucked,

but we'd take turns visiting each other. I finally moved in with him last year after I graduated because there were more job opportunities in his city anyway. So here's the thing about my boyfriend, he's only had one serious relationship before me and some random hookup. He doesn't talk to the hookup girl anymore because apparently she was crazy, his words, not mine, but he stayed friends with his ex up until about two years.

years ago when she cut contact with him. They dated when he was a teenager for like two years, and then she dumped him because, and I'm quoting what he told me, he had no self-respect. Whatever that means. Whenever I asked him to elaborate on that, he'd just get all quiet and say something vague like I was different back then or I let people walk all over me. I'll be honest, I was always jealous of this ex. She's gorgeous, I've seen pictures, and whenever my boyfriend talked about her, it was like she was some kind of oracle with all of life's answers. He'd say things like X always said that you should never settle for less than what you deserve or X thought that people who did X were just trying to compensate for Y.

It was annoying as hell, but I never said anything because I didn't want to seem insecure or whatever. Plus in the beginning of our relationship I was trying to be the cool girlfriend who doesn't get jealous over stupid shit. There was this one time when we were having dinner with some of his work friends, and one of them mentioned something about relationships, and my boyfriend immediately started with my ex used to say. And I just sat there feeling like a complete idiot while he went on about her wisdom for like five minutes. His friends all exchanged these looks that I couldn't quite read, but no one said anything. I remember excusing myself to go to the bathroom and just sitting in the stall trying not to cry. When I came back, the conversation had moved on, thankfully. I was actually

kind of relieved when she cut contact with him because I thought maybe he'd finally move on. And for a while, things seemed okay. He seemed to be getting less guarded, and we were actually pretty happy together. Then this past January, I think it was a Tuesday night, or maybe Wednesday, I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and noticed my boyfriend wasn't in bed. It was like 3am or something. I heard some weird noises coming from the living room, so I went to check it out. He was sitting on the couch in the dark, and I could tell he was crying because of the weird sniffling sounds. The light from his phone was illuminating his face, and I wasn't sure if I should say something or just leave him alone. I mean, everyone deserves their private moments, right?

After a while, he got up to go to the bathroom, and I'm not proud of this, but I took a peek at his phone. He was on Facebook looking at his ex's profile. She had just gotten engaged and there were all these pictures of her. ring and her fiancée and them looking all happy together. I pretended to be asleep when he came back to bed. I could feel him getting in beside me, but he was really careful not to wake me up. He was still sniffling a bit, and it took him a long time to fall asleep. I just laid there feeling like shit, not knowing what to do. The next morning I wanted to ask him about it, but he seemed totally normal. Made coffee, kiss me goodbye before heading to work, texted me during his lunch break like he

always does. I kept waiting for him to bring it up or show some sign that he was upset, but nothing. So I decided not to mention it either. Maybe it was just a one-time thing, you know? Maybe seeing an ex get engaged is always a little weird, even if you're over them. I tried to convince myself that was all it was. But then it happened again a few nights later. and then again the following week. Fast forward to now, it's been like two months, and my boyfriend keeps breaking down out of nowhere. We'll be watching TV and suddenly he'll just get up and go to the bathroom for like 20 minutes, and I can hear him crying through the door.

Or we'll be about to fall asleep and he'll turn away from me and I can feel him shaking with silent sobs. It's fucking weird and honestly really uncomfortable. I keep asking him to talk to me about what's wrong, but he just says, nothing or I'm just tired or some other bullshit excuse. One time he said he was crying because he was thinking about his childhood dog that died when he was 15. Another time he claimed it was because of some sad commercial he saw earlier that day. I'm not an idiot, I know he's lying. I finally got fed up last week and told him he should maybe see a therapist, and he got super

offended and said he doesn't believe in therapy because it's just a way for people to take your money without actually helping you. Okay, whatever. ever dude. We actually got into a small argument about it, which is rare for us because he usually just shuts down when there's conflict. He kept saying that therapy is for weak people who can't handle their own problems and that he's fine and just need some time. This happens at least twice a week now, and I'm starting to lose my mind. I love him, I really do, but he's always been a bit distant with me, and now I'm realizing that this woman is probably the reason why. I'm starting to think that maybe she said something to upset him when she cut contact, because he didn't seem

this bothered when she was dating other guys before she got engaged. I found her on Instagram and I'm wondering if I should message her and just ask what the deal is. Maybe she has some insight that could help me understand what's going on with him. I know it sounds crazy and desperate, but I'm out of ideas. My best friend thinks I should just break up with him because life's too short to be someone's second choice, but is that really what's happening here? I mean, he chose to be with me for three years. He asked me to move in with him. That has to mean something, right?

Yesterday morning, I tried bringing it up again. We were eating breakfast and I just flat out asked him if he was still in love with his ex. He looked at me like I had three heads and said, what? No, of course not. Why would you even ask that? I explained that I've noticed him crying a lot lately and that it seemed to start around the time his ex. got engaged. He got really defensive and said that it had nothing to do with her, that he's just been stressed about work and hasn't been sleeping well. Then he got up and left for work early

without finishing his breakfast. I'm so confused. Edit to add, he's at work right now and I'm sitting at home thinking about all this. I forgot to mention that when I brought up therapy, he also said something like you wouldn't understand because you've never been through what I've been through. Like WTF does that even mean? We've been together for three years and living together for almost a year, and I still feel like I barely know him sometimes. Also, someone in the comments asked if I've talked to any of his friends about this. The answer is no, because most of his friends are also friends with his ex, they all went to high school together. The few friends of his that I am close with live in different states now, so we don't really talk much.

and honestly, I'd feel weird bringing this up with him anyway. Another thing I just remembered, a few months ago, before all this started, he mentioned that his ex had texted him out of the blue to catch up. He showed me the text, which I appreciated, and asked if I'd be okay with him responding. He never mentioned it again after that, so I assumed they just exchanged a few pleasantries and that was it. Now I'm wondering if there was more to it. Update. It's over. I think. I called my dad and asked him to help me move back home. These last few days have been a complete emotional roller coaster. My boyfriend was gone all day yesterday. He wasn't there when I woke up,

which was fine. I figured he just went to work early or something, but he still wasn't home when I went to bed. I texted him a few times, just a good morning when I woke up, and then two more at night asking if he was coming home for dinner and if he was all right. I tried calling him too, but he didn't pick up. I was worried sick, but also getting kind of pissed off. I even called his work to see if he was working late, but the receptionist said he had left at his normal time. I called a couple of his friends, but they hadn't heard from him either. I started to get really worried that something had happened to him, like an accident or something. I was about to call the police when I got a text from him at like 11 p.m. just saying sorry, need some time to think. We'll be home tomorrow.

I felt like I deserved some answers, so I decided to snoop through his stuff. I've only done it once before when I was feeling really insecure about his relationship with his ex. Well, on his laptop hidden in a bunch of random subfolders, I found this MS Word document with his ex's name. I opened it and read it, and I'm pretty sure it's a saved copy of the last conversation he had with her before she cut contact with him. It started out normal enough, just catching up and stuff, but then he asked her how her, relationship with her boyfriend, now fiancé, was going. She said it was good and that she was happy. Then it got super weird because he said something like, really? Are you sure? She said yes and asked why he was being weird, and he said, I don't know, I don't believe that you're that happy.

I can't remember everything exactly because my head was spinning while reading it. But he basically told her that her fiancé would never treat her as well as he did, and that they've known each other for so many years and managed to stay friends after their breakup, that they've helped each other grow as people and that she should really give him another chance. He literally told her that he's waited for her all these years and that he loves her and always believed they'd wind up together. This was all while he was with me. She called him an asshole, rightfully so, and told him that he had a lot of nerve to say all that to her when she told him a long time ago that they would only ever be friends. She also called him an even bigger asshole for doing this while they were both

in relationships. She told him to go to hell and to break up with me for my sake, because I deserve better. That's not even the worst part. This morning, my boyfriend finally came home around 6 a.m., looking exhausted. He woke me up by calling my cell, even though we were in the same damn apartment, telling me to come to the kitchen because he made breakfast. So I went to the kitchen and he had made this amazing breakfast spread, with a ring box in the middle of the table. He told me to open it. I did. It was an engagement ring. He said something cheesy like these last three years with me has been an adventure and he hopes to keep making new adventures with me. I guess that's when I snapped out of whatever fog I've been in, and I just exploded. I demanded to know where he was all day

yesterday, why he wouldn't contact me, why he's been crying over his ex for the last three months, everything. And get this, he got mad at me for being mad. He had the nerve to say that, I should be happy because he was proposing, and wasn't that what I wanted? I asked him why he would propose when it's so obvious that he'd rather be with his ex. His response? She's obviously moved on so it's time for me to move on too. I've never been so angry in my life. I've been so patient with this man and done my best to be understanding.

I've literally given him everything I had, but I'm not going to marry him just to be his fucking consolation prize. It's so ironic because if he had proposed like four months ago, I would have been over the moon. Now it just broke us. So I called my dad, crying my eyes out, and he's on his way to help me move my stuff back to my parents' house. That's it. I'm a complete wreck, but I think it's just because everything wrong and twisted in this relationship is finally hitting me, and it took so long for me to see it. Meanwhile, my, I guess X, boyfriend is just sitting on the couch with his laptop like nothing happened. I don't even know how to process all of this.

While I was packing some of my stuff, he just sat there asking me why I was overreacting and saying that I was throwing away a good thing over nothing. When I brought up the document I found, he got really defensive and said I had no right to go through his private files. Then he tried to explain that the conversation happened a long time ago and that he was in a different headspace then. But when I pointed out that his reaction to her engagement proves that he's still not over her, he just shut down and stopped talking to me. My dad should be here in a couple of hours. I've packed most of my important stuff, but I'll have to come back for the rest later. I honestly don't even know what to say to my ex-boyfriend before I leave. Part of me wants to scream at him for wasting three years of my life, but another part of me just wants to get out of here as quickly as

possible. Thank you guys so much for helping me see how unfair this whole relationship was. I read every one of your comments, even if I didn't respond to them all. Several of you called this exact scenario, saying that he was only with me because he couldn't have her, and I didn't want to believe it, but you were right. Update 2. I took a break from Reddit for a while, needed to clear my head, but logged in today to find a few PMs asking for another update, so here goes. My went more or less crazy after I moved back home. The first week after I left was actually pretty calm. He texted me a few times asking me to come back, saying we needed to talk, but I didn't respond. I was staying in my old bedroom at my parents' house, just trying to process everything

that had happened. My mom was being super supportive, making me all my favorite foods and not asking too many questions. Then the weirdest shit started happening. He started sending to my friends, some of them are mutual friends, asking to use their Skype accounts to talk to me. He told them that I stole some things from him when I moved out, and he needed them back. I got a bunch of phone calls from my friends asking me about this. They all told me that they knew I didn't steal anything because that's not like me at all, but they wanted to know why he was so desperate to contact me. I wasn't ready to tell the whole story, honestly, I didn't think anyone would believe me,

so I just told them that I didn't know what was going on, but begged them not to give him their Skype accounts. A few days after that, the phone calls started, all from different numbers that I didn't recognize. I didn't pick any of them up, but one day I'd have about 20 missed calls from one number, then another 20 plus from a different number the next day. It got so bad that I had to set my phone to only allow calls from specific numbers in my contacts, otherwise it would go straight to voicemail. Even if he couldn't reach me, he succeeded in making me feel pretty isolated and paranoid. I really don't know what his endgame was here. Did he think that if he harassed me enough, I'd give in and talk to him?

Did he really believe that I stole something from him, or was that just an excuse to get in touch with me? None of it made any sense. There was one really creepy incident where I went out for coffee with a friend, and I swear I saw his car in the parking lot. I pointed it out to my friend, but by the time we looked again, it was gone. Maybe I was just being paranoid, but it freaked me out. I started being more careful about where I went and who I told about my plans. After about five days of this bullshit, I broke down and told my mom everything that happened. She didn't say much, she mostly just let me talk and cry it out.

Afterwards she told me that I made the right decision but that there's absolutely no reason why I should be going through this alone. She said that she didn't want to push me to tell her what happened until I was ready, but that the best thing I could be doing right now is spending time with people that love and support me. So after going with me to get my phone number changed, she encouraged me to start calling my friends and telling them what happened, and to just hang out with them more in general. I had it stuck in my head that everyone would side with my ex and tell me that I made a terrible

mistake, that his intentions were good and I blew things out of proportion by thinking that he only proposed because his ex-girlfriend got engaged. But I was actually overwhelmed by my friend's responses. Apparently my ex had been telling everyone that we broke up because I had major jealousy issues over his ex, but once they heard my side of the story, I was actually shocked by how many of them said that it made sense. They've all told me that I've done the right thing and that they'd back me up no matter what. I just felt this huge sense of relief and have been making an effort to go out more. So, that's basically it. I'm just going through the motions and I'm going to make an appointment with a therapist.

I wish that I had something more profound to update you guys with, some added wisdom, but I don't. My best advice for anyone going through something similar is what my mom told me surround yourself with people that love and support you. I'll update again if anything significant happens. Update 3. Hello, Reddit. I just wanted to update you guys on some things that have happened. I also wanted to apologize for not responding to any of the comments in my last post, I wasn't in a great place at the time, and wasn't feeling up to it. So a bunch of stuff has happened since my last update, though nothing super dramatic, thankfully.

It's been about three months since I moved back to my parents' house, and things have finally started to settle down a bit. First, my ex mailed me the engagement ring that he bought shortly after my last update. It came in this small padded envelope with me. no note or anything, just the ring. I didn't know what to do with it, I wasn't sure if the ring was what he had been claiming that I stole. I also felt weird about mailing it back, because what if he claimed that he never got it? So my dad volunteered to personally deliver the ring back to him. I don't know if anything was said when my dad brought it back, and I never asked.

My dad isn't really the type to make a scene, but he was pretty pissed about the whole situation, so who knows. Part of me was curious about whether it was an expensive ring or not, but I didn't want to take it to a jeweler or anything to find out. It looked nice, but I'm not an expert on these things. I just know that if I had accepted his proposal, I would have worn that ring thinking it symbolized our love, when really it was just a consolation prize because he couldn't be with the person he really wanted. That thought makes me sad and angry at the same time. Second, I heard from some mutual friends that a couple weeks ago, my ex bought a plane ticket and flew to NYC to try and talk to his ex fucking wild, right? Somehow he found out the name of the company that she worked for, looked up its

location and waited in front of the building all day like some kind of stalker. I have no idea what happened, but apparently there aren't any signs of her coming back with him, so I'm assuming that it didn't go very well. I can't believe that he did that. And I can't believe that I dated someone that was that crazy for three years. But I suppose it helps every time that I hear about something like this, because it reinforces the fact that I did the right thing. One of our mutual friends, who is still close with him, told me that after he got back from NYC, he was a mess. Apparently he got drunk at a bar and started telling everyone that he'd lost the two most important women in his life and that he didn't know what to do. He even tried to get this friend to talk to me on his behalf, but the friend refused.

I'm grateful for that, at least. I don't need any more drama in my life. I've been staying at my parents' place this whole time, which has been interesting. I love them, but I forgot how annoying it can be to live with your parents as an adult. My mom is constantly checking on me, asking if I've eaten, if I'm sleeping enough, if I'm taking care of myself. My dad is more hands off, but he has this concerned look whenever he sees me. I know they mean well, but sometimes it feels a bit suffocating.

I've started looking for my own place, just a small apartment where I can have some privacy, but the rental market is brutal right now. Anyway, this brings me to where I am now. I started a paid internship with the chance of getting hired full-time, about a month ago, and I love it. The company is pretty small, only about 20 employees, but everyone has been super welcoming. There's a group that goes out for drinks on Fridays, and they've invited me to join them a few times. It's nice to have work friends again.

My old job was remote, so I didn't really get to interact with my coworkers much. And I'm a little embarrassed to say that I'm attracted to the guy that hired me, who's about my age. There's nothing going on, and I'm definitely not ready or willing to be in a relationship. It's simply the fact that he is the nicest, best-mannered person that I've ever met. He's always positive, polite and smiling, so it's impossible not to be in a good mood around him. So it's not that I think my next relationship should be with him, or that I have feelings for him. It's just that I've realized that the type of person that I should be looking for is someone that makes me feel good, just by being around them. Thanks for reading all this.

I don't think I'll be updating again unless something major happens, which I hope it doesn't. I'm kind of over the drama at this point. forward slash forward slash Mother passed on her residence to me prior to her passing so that my four offspring would possess a dwelling, but currently my eldest sibling is persuading all my brothers and sisters that I am attempting to. Scam them. I, 28F, have six siblings. Our mom recently passed in November from stage four cancer. I had a really great relationship with my mom. We would spend time together and my four children, five-year-old twins, a three-year-old, and a one-year-old, all loved her. I am the youngest of all my siblings.

My older siblings didn't prioritize much time with my mom until the last few months when she couldn't do much for herself anymore. I currently live with my boyfriend, 38M, and are four children in a three-bedroom apartment. It's a nice apartment, but of course is not ideal for a large family. Over the summer while my mom was still very coherent, she signed a transfer. on death of her house, five bedroom, three bath, to me for myself, my boyfriend, and our children to move into. She did the transfer so I wouldn't have to buy the house as we would not be able to afford a loan for her house. And her house only had less than a year left until it was completely paid off so we would be able to afford her payments that way. All of my other siblings own their

own homes and have plenty of room in their homes for their individual families. I didn't ask my other siblings if they were okay with this, but I didn't see it as their decision or whether they had a say considering it's our mom's house and she had final say anyway. And like I said, all of my siblings own their own homes anyway. Once my mom passed, she had some medical bills that needed taking care of so it seemed as though we would need to sell the house to take care of them. After looking into it more, my boyfriend said he would buy the house at just enough to cover the medical bills rather than what it's worth considering we cannot afford what it's worth plus my mom had planned on us just moving in and not doing any sort of loan anyway. She had a cash inheritance which she left my

oldest sister, Melanie 43F, to split equally among all of my siblings. Since my mom has passed, we have asked Melanie how much is left in the inheritance as it would be split seven ways and she would always kind of dodge the question. She would say she hasn't counted it yet or she's unsure. My mom also had some coins that were worth some money. She had four coins worth about $3,200 and a fifth coin worth about $1,200. I only found out about these coins from my other sister, Rochelle 35F, because she told me Melanie thought about giving the a coin worth $3,200 to herself, Rochelle, my brother Nick 37M, and myself. The coin worth less to another hand-picked sibling. and then just never telling the last two siblings about the coins at all.

That really upset me. I understand the coins gained value over time and that's why they didn't want to pawn them for cash to split equally, but that is really unfair and considering there are not seven coins, I believe the fairest situation would be to pawn them for cash so everyone could be involved. I suggested that and then never heard anything else about the coins after that. And then one day last week when I had Rochelle and my niece over for dinner, she dropped a gold coin out of her purse and quickly put it back. I never said anything but I couldn't believe they decided to kick me out of that inheritance because I stuck up for the three siblings that were going to be slighted. Well, flashed to a couple days ago my boyfriend got approved for the loan.

I told Melanie about this to keep her in the loop and her response shocked me. She told me she did not feel comfortable selling the house to my boyfriend. I didn't understand because selling the house to my boyfriend was just a way for us to keep the house so that my mom's medical bills would get paid. And my mom's wishes were for my family to move into the house. After I got off the phone with Melanie, I called Rochelle to see how she felt but she couldn't talk right away. Once I was able to talk to Rochelle, it was very clear Melanie had gotten to her first and manipulated the situation. So I texted the group chat with my siblings. Essentially, they all want to sell the house at full value to a stranger so they can receive an

inheritance of cash from the house selling. Melanie had very obviously made them believe that my mom only transferred the house into my name so I could take care of selling it and splitting the money with all of my siblings. That wasn't the truth and I tried telling them that our mom did not do that but Melanie had manipulated the situation. For context, Melanie is the oldest and all of our siblings can be pretty easily manipulated in a situation when it comes to Melanie. It sounds terrible, but it's true. I can see right through it and tried to say my side, but they are all on Melanie's side. They all want cash from the house, but I want to live in it like my mom had intended. Like I said, my mom transferred the house into my name. So I am going through with selling

the house to my boyfriend to pay my mom's medical bills and so us and our four children can live there. My siblings feel like I have scammed them out of an inheritance. But I feel like I found a way to get the medical bills paid so that my family can live there, which is what my mom intended when she was here. So am I the asshole? Update one so first I want to say I am so appreciative all the comments that seemingly are truly looking out for my best interest. My oldest sister, Melanie, had made me believe that the debt needed to be paid from the house not the cash estate. she would never disclose to us that there was enough to pay off my mom's medical bills.

I contacted an estate attorney and ended up speaking with the attorney who was directly handling my mom's medical debts. He told me that there was no need to sell the house right now. That my family could move into it with no worry of paying the medical debt until the future if I ever decided to sell it. So that's what we are going to do. If we ever decide to sell it, which I don't see right now why we would as finding a five-bedroom house is really hard to come by, we will split the sale of the house after her medical debts are paid and of course subtract any money we put into it going forward from their portion. I do agree that keeping the deed of the house in my name is the wise decision so that I will always have that security

with my children if something were to ever happen between myself and my partner. I really appreciate all of the comments making that aware to me and all of the comments wanting to make sure I seeked out a lawyer. As far as the coins go, I didn't mention them because I was upset I wasn't getting a portion. I understand getting the house is a big deal. I mentioned what was happening with the coins to give an example as to why I don't feel I can trust Melanie and why I feel like she is not being honest about the money and the estate, which she wasn't. There is more money than just the coins that she is not being honest about. The deceptiveness is what hurts me. I feel like I am very open and honest with my family and would never try to deceive them.

I would rather all conversations especially with my family hold integrity. Once I had felt settled and secure with talking to the lawyer, I texted my sibling group chat to let them know what was going on, that the house will stay in my name. Melanie has been manipulating the situation and once she thought I was selling it to my boyfriend, I knew she would tell all my other siblings that the problem is not that I was keeping the house but that it would no longer be in my name. I can tell she is very angry that she can longer spin the story for her narrative.

But this is what my mom had intended in the first place. For myself and my children to have somewhere to live and she always knew my boyfriend was in our package deal. Melanie still seems mad but I don't see the problem anymore. I'll keep this post updated if anything else happens to come up. Again, thank you to everyone for the advice. It really helped me out so much put me in a much more secure position.

Update 2. I don't have too much of an update currently, however, I don't think I'll have another update again until next week. And I want to keep you guys in the loop of what is going on. Since I have told Melanie that we plan on keeping the house, she has made it her mission, at least how I see it, to do everything in her power to bury me. Melanie is my big sister by 15 years,

so I've always trusted what she's said and done. Naively, I guess. Like I've said before, Melanie was my mom's power of attorney. So she made sure my mom's bills got paid toward the end as that was her responsibility. Once I told Melanie we would be keeping the house, she would tell me she didn't have my mom's account information and withheld all the information I needed to pay her bills. I made all the phone calls and all utilities were easily transferred into my name. However, going to the bank, of course, was a little more difficult. I can't even make a payment without knowing her account number.

Melanie has kept all of my mom's paperwork and refuses to give me that information. So I am currently in the process of waiting for the bank to email me a form to fill out to become a person on her account that can make payments. Then once that hopefully gets accepted, I can apply for assumption of her account. I am hoping all of this goes over well with no bumps. Melanie is very angry with me. I told her I didn't feel like she was being fair in the way she was dividing the estate and that she continues to change the story to fit her narrative for that day or who she is talking to. I told all of my siblings they could go through my mom's house still if they wanted anything of hers before we donate. Everybody has had a key to my mom's house because we would all go over and help her with anything she needed.

Melanie then went through the house to take all of the valuables, collectibles, anything that could be sold for decent money so she could sell it herself and pocketed it. all. Mind you, I'm not talking about a couple of small trinkets. She took four large glass-slash-reel with curio cabinets, 20 collectible cookie jars, at least 100 collectible angels. And she did all of this in one day as soon as she found out I would be keeping the house. So I asked my boyfriend to change the locks. And he did. I'm so glad he did because I found out that they had been talking about taking the fridge and the stove. Since then, my boyfriend believes that they have been coming over daily to check the trash. They are crazy. Once she found out the locks had been changed, she truly tried to isolate me from my siblings and my dad. They are really the only family I have left.

Unfortunately, they are all very easily manipulated. Truthfully, I don't really want to try to reconcile my relationship with them if they are so easily manipulated into cutting me out of their lives. And yes, she manipulated my dad as well. I lost my mom only a month and a half ago and now in the snap of a finger have lost everyone else. It's been very hard to deal with, but I truly don't feel as though I'm in the wrong. Maybe my post seems biased, but I don't feel like I am withholding any information. I also contacted the lawyer who drew up the transfer on death so that I could make an appointment with her to finalize it now that my mom has passed. I also asked her if we could discuss my mom's estate.

She then told me that no estate had been filed. I also contacted the probate court in our county to get a hold of my mom's will. And they also told me no will had been documented with them. All of that was Melanie's responsibility. It isn't right. I will definitely come back with an update end of January slash beginning of February as I have an appointment with the lawyer to discuss this next week. Update 3, I think this will be my final update.

There are still a few loose ends that need tied, but as long as that goes smoothly, no need for another update past this one. So let's hope for the best. I went to the lawyer to finalize the transfer on death. Everything has been signed as far as the deed is concerned. I spoke to the lawyer regarding Melanie and she said since Melanie had taken everything out as cash right before my mom passed, the only way to force her to start an estate with it would be to basically take her to court on counts of theft of my mom's money. which I really do not want to do to my sister. I understand what she has done is wrong, but I also understand I inherited a great asset,

so I'm just going to call it a wash. A lot of you said to not split the sale of the house with my siblings if ever decide to sell it. I feel conflicted on this. I'm not sure if I will ever sell it anyway. I have no plans of this for the time being. But if I ever do decide to sell, I will definitely take into consideration what it's currently worth before any renovations, time and money that we put into it going forward, and of course the cash inheritance I'm not receiving. I will have to just assume what everyone is getting right now

because Melanie would not tell me that either. I could ask my siblings but honestly I don't want to put any more effort into it. I'll just assume the highest possible number without being unreasonable. Their fault for not being honest to begin with. My relationships seem repaired with my siblings and my dad. but they are not the same. There is still some uncomfortability there. Because of course they still have a relationship with Melanie and I don't feel comfortable being completely open with them like I once had been. I am happy the relationships are at least somewhat repaired though.

I know they are just feeling caught in the middle of Melanie and I they don't believe Melanie would lie and they don't believe I would lie. And I think because I'm the youngest and Melanie is their older sister, they think I'm confused. Like I said before, Melanie is 15 years older than me. So she was an adult before I had even started school. She's always had more life and school experience up until the last five years or so. So, although I feel like I've caught up in the last few years, she will always have that older sister leg up on me when it comes to everyone else.

Melanie is also now telling everyone that I need to get a personal loan for the house so that I could buy all of my siblings out. That doesn't even make any sense. I would not be able to get approved for such a large personal loan and the interest would be outrageous compared to a home loan. It would have made more sense for me to get a home loan to buy the house if I needed to buy everyone out. Home loans are much easier to obtain, the interest is lower than a personal loan, and they will give you a much higher loan for a home loan rather than personal. But I wouldn't have agreed to that anyway because I would have gotten a home loan for a house that's move and ready. My mom's house needs a lot of work. My mom put the house in my name for myself and my children to have and move into.

When I spoke with the lawyer, she told me that when she sat down with my mom, that my mom knew that there was an option to put the house into all seven of her children's names and that would be a way to keep it out of court and that I could buy my siblings out. But my mom didn't want to do that because she wanted the house in my name so I could move into it with no loan involved and she knew my siblings wouldn't be getting a payout from it. I understand how that seems hurtful to my siblings, but that's just what happened and they definitely got a cash, coin, car, valuables to sell inheritance that I'm not a part of. With all of this to say, I think my siblings are conflicted on who is telling the truth because Melanie spins absolutely everything. I've decided to just be done with any more talk of it.

Even if it is to defend myself, it's not worth my mental health over it. I am still in the process with the mortgage company to assume the mortgage, but I am still in the process with the mortgage. I'm hoping since the house is in my name and I am currently the one paying the mortgage, that it's just paperwork and there aren't any hiccups with that. Thank you all for the wonderful advice and kind words through each update. They were all so helpful. I truly wouldn't have gotten to this point without the advice and kind words from you guys. Hopefully there isn't another update after this one.

And if the comfort level podcast happens to have read all of these, I just want to say I am a big fan. I listen to you guys daily when I'm tidying up my apartment in the evenings. You all seem to have good heads on your shoulders and think so rationally. It's a calmness I look forward to. Edit to add. I just want to mention that Melanie was the power of attorney which ends at death and was not named the executor. Nobody was. My mom unfortunately did not make a will.

She felt like all of us would sort things out fairly. She put Melanie in charge of dividing cash. slash assets because Melanie is the oldest and she believed Melanie would be fair about it. At the time, I believed she would be fair about it too. We were both wrong. The lawyer told me that because there is no will and no named executor, if we wanted to start a legal estate, all of the siblings would have to agree to name an executor. But that would then bring me to needing to take Melanie to court for theft of my mom's money since it's all basically cash and unaccounted for. Yes, she is being unfair and

I do believe stealing. But I will not take my sister to court. I'm just choosing to let it go the best I can. Next story, lost my husband, then fell in love with his best friend who also lost his spouse. Now we're thinking about having a baby together even though my parents don't approve of our relationship. I am a widow. I lost my husband a little over three years ago. That's a really long story for another post, but we had been trying to have a baby together before he passed. My best friend, who I'll call Chris, was my husband's best friend. We were good friends when my husband was still here, but we bonded a lot after his passing. Chris is also a widow, although his wife died before I knew him.

Having been through what I was going through and also losing his best friend, we really leaned on each other the last few years for love and support. We are best friends now, I don't know what I would do without him. I feel like a huge part of my life is empty. I feel a visceral need to have a baby. I know I sound crazy. When I lost my husband, it also felt like I lost the life we didn't get to have together, like I lost the baby we were trying for and the family we could have been.

I want nothing more in life than to be a mother. It's what I've always wanted for myself, something I've always looked forward to. I know there is a big child-free lifestyle community here on Reddit, so this may be difficult to relate to for some, but it's what I want for myself. I'm educated, I'm very successful in my career, I'm financially stable and I'm ready for the next chapter in my life. I know I could just go to a sperm bank or adopt and raise a baby by myself, but I would really prefer my child have a father. I grew up with the most amazing dad and I don't want to purposely bring a child into the world without a father that will love him like my dad

loved me. I know I could wait around until I meet the right guy, but that isn't something that I'm certain is in the cards for me. Last week, Chris and I got together, had a few drinks, and I opened up to him about how badly I wanted to be a parent, and he shared the same feelings with me. It was so nice to talk about it with someone who I can really relate to, and he feels the exact same way I do, like he is missing a huge part of his life. He said we should have a baby together. He said it half-jokingly at first, but it grew from there, and now we're seriously considering it. I know Chris would be an amazing dad. I am trying to look at it objectively, but obviously it's a very emotionally charged topic. As I see it, the worst case scenario is that we share custody of the child, but the child has two parents that love him or her.

It's no different than a divorced couple with a kid. We're both well off, we can afford a great lawyer to write up a rock-solid parenting agreement for us. The best case scenario is we raise the child together, as a team. We already practically live together, have the same parenting views and the same morals in general. I could go on forever about why we think it's a good idea. What is your opinion? Am I completely crazy for considering this? Update, after reading everyone's comments I was feeling really conflicted so I told Chris I didn't think we could move forward with having a baby together until I knew whether or not we'd ever be together as a couple.

He told me he was just waiting for me to be ready, and then we had sex. so I'm ready. I know I said that I felt really guilty when we kissed, but I didn't mention that that was two years ago. I expected to still feel guilty, but I don't. I'm just really happy. We've both been off work the last couple days, so we've been spending 100% of our time together. It's so nice being with him. It's been a long time coming, hey. As for having a baby together, we both still really want to do that, but now we have to figure out how that fits into us having a romantic relationship. The responsible thing would probably be to wait, I don't know. A few years, but it's been really hard to actively prevent against something that we want to

happen, so we're not really being as careful as we should be. Any advice? I'm feeling like I can't think straight about it. I can already tell it's going to be hard to take it slow. We live together, we both own our own homes, but he is renting his out right now. I work from home and he only works a couple days a week so we spend a ton of time together. We were already living like a couple that just didn't have sex, and now we are, so I'm not sure how to take it slow or if we should even bother. Also, I don't know how to tell my parents what's

going on, or if I should tell them at all. They don't like that I'm friends with Chris or any of my husband's other friends, and would be even more upset to know that we're together now. They want me to distance myself as much as possible from my old life as they call it and express their disappointment about my failure to do so every time I speak to them. When my husband died, my mom went behind my back and told my in-laws that I requested they keep their distance from me because it makes me depressed to talk to them. Not true, by the way, I felt more depressed not talking to them, and although I found out the truth much later, we barely talk now because we weren't there for each other when we needed to be. requested assistance from my mother due to my pregnancy, but she redirected the conversation to focus on her own experiences and labeled me as domineering, as my spouse was absent on a deployment.

Home during the birth. I'm eight months pregnant and my husband is in the military. I want to preface this whole thing by saying that my husband is currently deployed, and will most likely not be able to come home for the birth. He tried to get leave, but his command denied it because apparently an unborn child isn't as important as whatever. the hell they're doing over there. Sorry for the rant, but it's just been really hard dealing with this pregnancy basically alone. For context, we've been married for three years, together for six. He's been deployed twice before but this is our first baby, so the timing really sucks. We live about 800 miles away from both our families because of his base assignment, which makes everything more complicated. Knowing he won't be here, my husband and I had originally planned for my own mother to fly into town and help me before and after giving birth. To be clear, we were going to pay for the plane tickets because she's always complaining about

money. The plan was for her to come about a week before my due date and stay for maybe three weeks after to help me adjust to motherhood while I'm recovering. For the past few months, I've had this gut feeling that my mom wouldn't be able to help me in the ways I needed to be helped. I don't know how to explain it, just one of those things where you know something isn't right. She's always been kind of self-centered. Like when I graduated college, she spent the whole weekend talking about how proud she was and how she raised such a smart daughter instead of just letting me have my moment. Little things like that have always bothered me, but I usually just let them go because it's easier than confronting her. Another example, when my husband and I got engaged, her first response wasn't congratulations but I hope you're not expecting me to pay for a wedding.

We weren't, but that was her immediate concern. So I discussed this with my therapist during one of our sessions, and we decided that I should have a conversation with my mom letting her know what I may need help with. My therapist thought being upfront about expectations would help avoid issues later. Seemed reasonable enough, and honestly, I thought I was being mature by trying to communicate clearly instead of assuming she'd know what I needed. It took me like two weeks to finally gather up the courage to talk to my mom. I called her one night after dinner and tried to explain how I was.

I expected the stay to go. I told her I'd probably need help with cooking and chores that require bending over in the event that I had to get a C-section. I explained that I might need help with laundry, maybe grocery shopping since I don't know how mobile I'll be after birth. Like, normal stuff any mom would do for their daughter who just pushed a human out of their body, right? I also told her that during this time, her role is to be my mom and not grandma. What I meant by that was that I needed her to help me recover, not just hold the baby all day while I hobble around trying to keep the house from falling apart. I wasn't saying she couldn't bond with the baby at all, just that the primary purpose of her visit was to help me so I could focus on learning to be a mom and recovering

physically. She laughed at that comment about being my mom not grandma, which made me uncomfortable. Then she said something like, well, I'm coming to see my grandchild, not to be your maid. I tried to explain that's not what I meant. But she kept. kept making these little jokes about how demanding I was being. The whole conversation made me feel uneasy, like she wasn't really listening to what I was saying. That feeling was solidified when my sister called me the next day and said mom was complaining about how I had a bunch of rules for when she visits. She told my sister that I was being hormonal and that I was going to dictate when she could

even hold her own grandchild. Like, asking for help when I'm recovering from childbirth is somehow imposing rules on her? My sister was trying to play both sides, saying you know how mom is but also suggesting I was being a bit too controlling. Which, honestly, made me feel even worse about the whole situation. Then a few days later my mom calls me out of the blue. It was actually the day before my husband was leaving for his deployment, and we were trying to spend as much quality time together as possible before he left. I had a feeling it was because she was upset with what I was asking for, so shortly after I answered the call I said, my husband is leaving for deployment tomorrow.

We are doing XYZ one last time to hint at her that now isn't a good time to discuss whatever she wanted to talk about. I was trying to be nice about it without being too direct. My mom doesn't exactly care about others' needs or emotions, though, and she kept pressing. She asked me if I even wanted her to visit, and she also made a snide comment about me wanting a live inmate. When I tell you I lost my shit, I am not even kidding. I'm not proud of this, but I yelled at her.

I said, I'm sorry you expected to come here and be catered to. Have me cook and clean for you with my vagina bleeding and my nipples chapped and bleeding when my husband is deployed. But you thought you would get to play Grandma the entire time. Her response? Well, you didn't say you wanted that. Like, what the actual fuck? What did she think help meant?

That she would come to my house for three weeks, hold the baby whenever she wanted, and I would serve her meals and clean up after her while dealing with postpartum recovery? I ended up hanging up on her because I was so angry I was shaking, and I knew nothing productive would come from continuing the conversation. I spent the next couple days trying to calm down and focus on saying goodbye to my husband. It was already emotional enough without this added stress. He was pretty upset about the situation too. He's always gotten along with my mom okay, but he was really bothered by how she was acting when he was about to leave and couldn't be here to support me. After he left, I called my

mother-in-law to vent about the situation. I wasn't really calling to ask her to come instead, but during our conversation, she immediately offered. She said she had been worried about me being alone during this time anyway and had been wondering if there was anything she could do to help. I was honestly surprised because while we've always had a good relationship, we're not super close or anything. So, after talking with my husband, I decided to have my mother-in-law come instead. She's actually really nice and immediately offered to come when I called her. My mom doesn't know about this. I lied by a mission when I called her the following week to let her know she can visit when my husband returns from deployment instead. She thinks that I am just going to have local

friends assist me, which is technically not a lie since I do have some friends nearby who offered to bring meals and stuff. Actually, one of my neighbors who has three kids herself has been amazing. She checks on me almost daily and has already made and frozen several meals for after the baby comes. She's been more supportive than my own mother, which is both wonderful and sad at the same time. I told my sister I may have my mother-in-law come out instead, and she was skeptical, but mostly because of our own mother's reaction. She was like, you know, mom's going to flip her shit if she finds out, right? As if I'm making the wrong choice because if our mom were to find out, it would cause immense drama. My sister has always been the peacekeeper and the family.

She'll call out mom's behavior in private but never actually confront her about it. I get it, it's easier that way, but sometimes I feel like I'm the only one willing to stand up to her. So that's where I'm at now. My mother-in-law is scheduled to arrive a week before my due date. My mom thinks I'm doing this on my own, and I'm terrified she's going to find out somehow and cause a huge scene right when I'm most vulnerable. So Ida for choosing my mother-in-law over my own mother? Edit, I should clarify that the only people who know that my mill is coming to help are my mill, myself, and my husband. I mentioned the idea of my mill coming to my sister because for a brief period, my sister was going to come in my mother's place. However, due to my sister being a labor and delivery nurse in a different state, the likelihood of her being able to be here when I go into labor was slim to none.

So I casually mentioned to my sister that my mill might come and will be available when I'm due, to feel out her reaction to me no longer needing her help around that time. Anyways, that's why my sister knows that there's a possibility of my mill coming. I purposely haven't told her my mill is definitely coming to prevent her from slipping up and telling my mom. I know, it's all messy and it's mostly because everything unfolded so quickly. I'm trying to keep the peace but also do what's best for me and the baby. This pregnancy has been stressful enough without all this family drama. I've been having trouble sleeping, my blood pressure is slightly elevated, which my doctor is monitoring, and I just want to focus on having a healthy baby instead of dealing with family

politics. Another edit because people keep asking, yes, I've tried talking to my mom about this stuff before. This isn't the first time she's made things about herself. When I got married three years ago, she threw a fit about the bridesmaid dresses because she didn't like the color I picked. When I got my first real job after college, she told everyone it was because she encouraged me to apply. It's always been like this. She wasn't always this way, though. When I was younger, she was actually a really good mom in many ways. She helped me with school projects, came to all my soccer games, taught me how to cook. Something changed when I went to

college, like she couldn't handle me becoming independent. My dad just goes along with whatever she says to avoid conflict, which doesn't help. Also, my husband and I are fine. Some of you are reading way too much into this. He's upset he can't be here but we're handling it the best we can. Military life sucks sometimes but we knew what we were signing up for. We video chat almost every day when he has access to communications, and he's been incredibly supportive from afar. This is actually his third deployment, so we've gotten somewhat used to being a part, though obviously this time is different with the baby coming. Final edit, I can't respond to everyone but I'm reading all your comments. A lot of you are saying I'm NTA and I appreciate that.

Some of you are saying I'm the asshole for not being direct with my mom and yeah, maybe you're right. But those of you who grew up with narcissistic parents know it's not that simple. When you've spent your whole life tiptoeing around someone's feelings, it's hard to suddenly be confrontational. I'll try to update if anything major happens, but the babies do in a few weeks so I might be a bit busy, LOL. Thanks for all the feedback, it's actually been really helpful to get outside perspectives on this. Update 1, can't believe I'm actually updating this. I didn't think anyone would care about my family drama but a bunch of people messaged me asking for an update so here goes. Also, thanks for all the awards on my original post.

That was unexpected. After two weeks of no contact, I finally spoke with my mom. I had been ignoring most of her texts and calls because I just needed some space to figure out how I felt about everything. She finally left me a voicemail that sounded genuinely worried, so I decided it was time to have a real conversation. I revealed that I had been distant due to me having to process my feelings. I told her that I found it very hurtful that me asking for help was spun into requiring her to be my live and maid during my postpartum period. I had also explained that I hadn't been updating her or my dad on the pregnancy due to their lack of interest slash support. She tried to interrupt

me several times with excuses, but for once I stood my ground and finished what I needed to say. I think she was shocked that I wasn't backing down like I usually do. There was this awkward silence after I finished speaking, like she was waiting for me to apologize or something, but I just waited for her response. During this conversation I learned that when I had first asked her for help, she for some reason interpreted this as me saying I did not want her there. She kept repeating over and over,

while you had made up your mind that you didn't want me there when you were talking to me about the things you needed. So I stopped her and I was like, make this make sense. Why the hell would I have it in my mind that I'm paying for your ticket to come over here? Come up with a list of ways I can slash want to be helped, work up the courage to have that conversation with you, and have that talk. Why would I go through all of that? I'm not a teenager, I have no interest in playing mind games. She didn't have a real response to that other than, okay. Mystery solved as to where all of that stemmed from. I think in her mind, me see,

setting any kind of boundaries or expectations was equivalent to me not wanting her here at all. Which is ridiculous, but at least I understand her logic now, even if it's flawed. As for lack of interest slash support, that quite literally stemmed from their reactions, or lack thereof, to the news of me being pregnant and any updates regarding the pregnancy such as the name, gender, and appointment updates. When we first told them I was pregnant, their reaction was basically that's nice and then my dad immediately changed the subject. to some home renovation they were doing. No excitement, no questions about how I was feeling, nothing. Any information that was revealed to both my mom or dad after that, I would get a very

mild, cool or response along those lines. When I told them we were having a boy, my mom just said that's nice and then started talking about my cousin's new job. When I sent them the 20-week ultrasound picture, my dad just replied with a thumbs-up emoji. I stopped sending updates after that because it just hurt too much to be met with such indifference. When I addressed this today, my mom asked, well, how do you want us to react? I responded with, I shouldn't have to tell my parents how to show interest or excitement

over a new grandchild. She seemed genuinely confused, like it hadn't even occurred to her that her reactions had been hurtful. That's the part that gets me, she doesn't even realize how her behavior affects others. She did eventually say she was sorry if she hurt my feelings, but it was one of those I'm sorry you feel that way apologies that doesn't actually acknowledge any wrongdoing. Still, it was something, I guess. While it may seem like this conversation didn't quite go

well because there was no real promise of solution slash change, it was extremely healing for me. I prefaced the talk with, I am not expecting anything to change. I'm letting you know the reasons I have been distant. I have already thought about this, and I have already processed these feelings. I need to put this out there so that way it doesn't build and I don't end up resentful. My mother-in-law is still coming to help after the birth. I haven't told my mom this and I probably won't. I'm doing about a week and a half, and I'm honestly so relieved that I'll have someone supportive here instead of dealing with my mom's bullshit on top of recovering from childbirth and taking

care of a newborn. My mother-in-law arrived yesterday and has already been amazing. She brought groceries with her, made dinner last night, and has been helping me. me finish setting up the nursery. She's staying in our guest room and already told me that once the baby comes, she'll handle the cooking and cleaning so I can focus on recovery and bonding with the baby. She hasn't once made me feel like I'm imposing or like her help comes with strings attached. I had a doctor's appointment today and apparently I'm already one centimeter dilated, so things might be happening sooner rather than later. It's getting real and I'm

equal parts excited and terrified. My husband and I video chatted last night and he got emotional seeing the nursery all set up. It's hard that he's missing this, but I'm grateful for technology that at least lets him be somewhat involved from a distance. Thanks for all the people who provided input on my initial post. The validation really helped me feel confident in my decision. I might update again after the baby comes, but who knows? Life's about to get pretty hectic.

Hash update 2, well. This is an update I didn't think would actually happen, but here we are. Just a warning, I am raging internally so this may not be written well. I'm typing this at 3 a.m. while feeding the baby so sorry for any typos or if I ramble. Sleep deprivation is no joke. First and foremost. The birth went well, if you consider 26 hours of labor well. Baby boy is healthy and perfect though, so I can't complain too much.

He was born two weeks ago, weighing seven pounds at ounces labor was nothing like I expected, longer, more painful. My mother-in-law was a rock star throughout the whole thing. She stayed at the hospital with me the entire time, held my hand through contractions, talked for me with the nurses when I was too exhausted to speak for myself, and even remembered to take photos of those first precious moments that I can share with my husband. My mill was incredibly supportive and helpful throughout everything, not just the birth itself. The first week home was a blur of diaper changes, feeding attempts, breastfeeding is way harder than anyone tells you, and trying to figure out this tiny human's needs.

My mill cooked every meal, did all the laundry, and would take the baby for an hour or two between feeding so I could shower or nap. She never once made me feel like I was doing anything wrong or that I should be bouncing back faster. She shared stories about when she had her kids without making it seem like her experience was the only right way to do things. The months leading up to me giving birth, the relationship I had with my mother was very surface level. I did not reach out as frequently as I used to. Things got a bit tense about a week prior to me giving birth due to other family stuff I won't get into. Basically, my mom got into an argument with my aunt, her sister, and somehow expected me to take her side

even though I wasn't involved at all. When I refused to get in the middle of it, she gave me the silent treatment for a few days. My mother did not call or text me the two weeks leading up to my due date. Not a single, how are you feeling? Or anything I can do? Nothing. Honestly, the icing on the cake was my father asking me if I was having a boy or a girl,

my husband, and I told both of them before. Like, are you serious right now? I've been pregnant for nine months, we told you the genders six months ago, and you can't even remember that basic detail about your first grandchild? The distance led me to telling them I had my son the next afternoon after he was born rather than immediately. My mill suggested I take that time to rest and bond with the baby without the stress of dealing with my parents' reaction, or lack thereof, and she was absolutely right.

That decision brought me a lot of peace, which probably says a lot about our relationship. When I did call to tell them, my mom's first question wasn't about the baby or how I was doing, but why didn't you call us sooner? I gave some excuse about being exhausted and my phone dying, which she seemed to accept. She asked a few questions about the baby but didn't seem particularly interested in the answers. The call lasted maybe five minutes. My dad didn't even get on the phone. They didn't visit right away, which was fine with me. They sent a gift card and some baby clothes, that were the wrong size and season. My mill stayed for three weeks, and by the time she left, I felt capable and confident in caring for my son on my own. My husband has been able to video

chat almost daily to see the baby, and while it's not the same as having him here, we're making it work. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I called my mother to chat, not about anything serious. Just a quick check-in. The phone call threw me off because she apologized to me. She said, I miss you. Our relationship is different, and I don't know how to fix it because I feel like I don't have the opportunity to. I should have handled the talk a lot differently. I want to come and help you. I was shocked.

My mom rarely apologizes for anything, so this seems significant. She sounded genuinely remorseful, and part of me wanted to believe she had finally realized how her behavior had affected me. She went on about how she regretted not being more supportive. during my pregnancy and how she wanted a chance to be there for me and meet her grandson. I don't know if it was my postpartum hormones, being overwhelmed with caring for a newborn alone, or just a deep-seated desire to have a good relationship with my mother, but against my better judgment I offered to have her come for six days. Honestly, my first red flag should have been her not fighting back and saying she could pay her own way when I mentioned booking flights.

But oh well, I figured this visit would benefit me in the sense that I could try to be less resentful, and I could at least say that I tried. Plus, I thought maybe seeing the baby in person would bring out a more nurturing side of her that had been absent so far. She arrived Saturday night, and the first full day was Sunday. I spent a lot of that day feeling agitated because the second I would lay my son down in his bassinet to go do something she would pick him up. Even if he was sleeping peacefully, she would disturb him to hold him. When I'd ask her to please let him sleep, she'd say things like, but grandma needs her cuddles or he doesn't mind, do you baby? It became quite clear to me that my decision to have my mill come and help me during the

first weeks was the correct one. That evening I told her that she cannot pick my son up every single time he cries because once she leaves, I physically am not able to do that for him. I explained that sometimes I need to let him fuss for a minute while I finish using the bathroom or grab a glass of water, and that by rushing to pick him up instantly every time, she was creating habits that I couldn't maintain as a solo parent. I told her that I'm essentially a single parent until the foreseeable future, and I need to establish routines that work for our situation. She sheepishly apologized and said she wasn't thinking about after she wasn't going to be here. But the behavior didn't really change. She would wait until I was in the shower or busy

in another room, then pick him up anyway. I would come back to find her holding him when I'd specifically asked her not to disturb him if he was content. But this day has just been a shit show from start to finish. I didn't trust her watching him alone for long periods because I caught her starting to fall asleep on the couch while holding my baby literally 30 minutes after she told me I could go nap. Thank God I was in the kitchen prepping dinner and I caught it. When I mentioned it to her, she got defensive and said she wasn't really asleep and that I was being overprotective. Sorry for not wanting my two-week-old to be dropped or suffocated because his grandmother fell asleep holding him. She did not offer to make meals even once during her stay.

Every day I would ask what she wanted for dinner, and she would just say whatever you're making is fine without offering to help. One night I was so exhausted that I suggested ordering pizza, and she made a comment about how that wasn't healthy for a breastfeeding mom. But did she offer to cook something nutritious instead? Nope. She made a comment about eating dinner at 8 p.m. because she isn't used to it like me. I had to tell her that eating dinner at 8 p.m. is not a choice or a preference I have. I told her she didn't offer to step in and start dinner while I was doing laundry, facetiming my husband in between his watches, or nursing my son. The day literally revolves around the baby's needs, not some arbitrary dinner schedule. What was she doing while I was juggling all

of this? Basking in the Florida sun on my patio with the dogs while scrolling on her damn phone. When I finally confronted her about her lack of help, she said she didn't want to overstep and didn't know what I wanted her to do. But when I gave her specific tasks like, could you please fold that basket of laundry while I feed the baby? She would do it half-heartedly while sighing loudly, as if I was imposing on her vacation. The real reason I'm rage typing all of this isn't even because of her lack of help. It is her lack of emotional support. Today I was told that my husband's deployment is extended by another two months. He was supposed to be home when our son is around four months old, but now it will be closer to six months.

When I got the news, I was devastated. I was sobbing. What did my mother do? She said, I'm sorry. That's it. I haven't gotten a single hug from her during this entire visit, not even when I received this heartbreaking news. I got this news four hours ago. What I did get was her telling me to go take a shower which was a

really code for go shower so I can cuddle the baby because you won't be able to. She couldn't even pretend to care about how I was feeling for five minutes before making it about what she wanted again. When I came back from my shower, which I took quickly because I didn't actually trust her with the baby for long, she was showing him pictures of herself on her phone and telling him that's your favorite grandma. I wanted to scream. My mill has been more of a mother to me in the past months than my own mom has been in years, but sure, she's the favorite grandma. I feel so angry, disappointed, and ashamed that I spent money on her coming out here. The flights weren't cheap, and with a new baby, we're trying to be careful with our finances since I'm on unpaid maternity leave.

I guess it's not a total loss because this stay has helped me not put on rose-colored glasses like I normally do when it comes to her. Two more days and she's gone. Then it's back to me and the baby on our own until my husband can come home. I don't even know what I'm asking for at this point. I guess I just needed to vent. I feel like I'm mourning the mother I wish I had while dealing with the mother I actually have. It's exhausting. My husband thinks I should limit contact again after this visit, and I'm starting to think he's right. Sorry for the novel. Like I said, it's 3 a.m. and apparently that's when all my feelings come out. If there's anything I've learned, from this whole experience, it's that family isn't just about blood relation.

My mill showed me what motherly support actually looks like, and I'm grateful for that even if it makes me sad that I don't get it from my own mother. Relatives viewed me as the odd one out for years, until I discovered that my biological father is not the man I thought and that my existence stems from my mother's infidelity. Her boyfriend. I am 17, mom, 38, dad, 40, my parents were young when they got married. My mother is a stay-at-home mom and works part-time while my dad is a software developer. I am the oldest of four siblings. I have been treated like the black sheep in the family since I can remember. Birthdays never had any just a cupcake from my mom and no presents. I wasn't allowed to have friends over. Christmas was never something I looked for at most I would

get some socks while I had to look at the presents my dad, aunts, uncles, and grandparents gave my siblings. New bikes, latest fashion clothes, phones, game councils, games you name it, they got it. The same was for their birthdays, big parties, their friends and family would show up and shower them with gifts. I was never allowed on family trips and vacations I was left behind to stay with grandparents who were strict on everything I did and sometimes they would just call on someone else to pick me up while I was supposed to stay with them. My mom got a part-time job when I was 13 and with that she would sometimes ask if we could just spend the day. together while dad and my siblings were out. Even though it was just to get ice cream when I was at home,

I mostly stayed in my room and studied. It didn't matter how well I did in school or sports my dad showed no interest. I was able to get some money by tutoring that along with I managed to get a part-time job at food court and a grocery store meant I spent less time at home. Over the years my mental health got worse and worse because of maintaining good grades, doing well at spots, working two part-time jobs. My mom helped me find a therapist who has helped a lot yesterday. I came home from work late, tired and just wanted to go to bed. I opened the door to hear my mom arguing with my dad and aunt about me in the living room.

I could hear my aunt saying that I should be grateful more grateful towards my dad. Then they saw me in the doorway and stopped my mom and dad looked like they had seen a ghost while my aunt announced and in comes the bastard. I was shocked to hear her say that. I know she did not like me and mostly ignored me when we were in the same room. But I got angry and just asked her to repeat what she had said. My dad quickly stopped her, but no I wanted to know why I should be grateful about. So I asked what was going on.

No one said anything for a while. So I asked again and be grateful about what, being ignored, neglected, abandoned while my siblings are spoiled and play happy family with dad. As soon as I said dad my aunt just shouted. that I was not his son. I was shocked by what she said and I asked my dad if it was true. He looked at me and just said, I am sorry. I didn't know what to say. I looked at my mom and she said nothing. I left to my room and just started crying. Later my mom found me on the floor shaking and crying. She helped me up and stayed with me until I fell asleep. I woke up this morning and called and sick. I barely left my room today. I just feel like everything I have done

to make the man I call Dad proud or just to acknowledge me has been a waste of life. I wish that I had known years ago. Update, after I put up this post I had to get out of the house. I went to be alone for a while and the thoughts of ending things became too hard to ignore. So I called up my best friend and he picked me up. We went for a drive and I told him what had happened yesterday. He just listened while I just cried and told him everything. He knew my father was like this but not the extent of his.

family. I have never seen him so angry before. He had to pull over so he could calm down. I showed him the post and he was silent for a while. After a few minutes he told me that no matter what I was his best friend, and he asked it would be okay if he could Moby he could talk to his parents about me sating at his place for some time. I said yes. He dropped me off home and we got out of the car, we talked for a bit. Before he left he gave me a hug and just said whenever I felt alone that I should give him a call. When I entered the house, I ignored everyone. First, I would like to thank everyone for your comments, though I have not responded I read through all of them. Not only have they been helpful towards to see things differently.

To do the best to stay strong until I will movie out. You are right, this man is not my dad slash father and I will no longer see him like that anymore. I will try and get some answers on why I'm being abused, why after all these years no one told me anything and the most important for me right now who is my real bio father. Is he alive? Docey know I exist? And to clarify one thing I have no idea who anyone on my mother's side of the family are and therefore there are no contact with them. My 18 birthday is in the end of the summer and I will be moving out that day or even sooner if I have the opportunity to do so update one. So a lot has happened in these few days and I am conflicted about many things right now, but I am hopeful that I can start to heal me neelie.

Also sorry for the long post. On Thursday before I left for work in the grocery store, my father whom I will refer as Kay called out to me and I responded my saying yes his first name and he looked confused because I have always called him dad before. After a bit of silence I asked what? Quite bluntly. He didn't respond and told me it was nothing so I went to catch the bus. When I got home late in the evening my mom wanted to know why I called Kay by his first name. I told her he never treated me as anything closely as a son, so why should I call him dad anymore? She had no answer and she told me he was hurt by it. I wanted to scream when she said that. Yesterday I had an appointment with my

therapist and I cannot put it into words how much she has helped me over the years and later my best friend called me to let me know that I could stay with them if I wanted. So this morning when I woke up my mom was already awake in making breakfast, I asked if we could talk alone today and it was important. She agreed to talk after breakfast because Kay had to go to work shortly after. After Kay left, she told my siblings to not enter the kitchen for a while. I am paraphrasing a bit because it was a long conversation. We sat down and I found it hard to get the words out at first, but I told my mom that I can't get over the fact that for all these years how I'd been treated and neglected by Kay and his side

of the family. and she watched it happen and I need to know why. At first she tried to doge the question and gave the same answer as always. But I didn't give in and told her that this was important to me and again she tried to doge it. So I told her that I can't do this anymore. So I was going to pack up some of my stuff and move out, and not until she was ready to tell me the things I needed to hear we would not be on speaking terms. She started to tear up and just told me how sorry she was and kept on saying I am so sorry

over and over. It hurt me in that moment to see my mom cry and I tried my hardest to keep my emotions in and I asked her again why. After some time when she calmed down, she told me what happened. When she was 20 and in university she had a boyfriend whom she had been with for three years. They shared an apartment along with his best friend. They were out clubbing when they had an argument because she wanted to stay but her boyfriend wanted to go home and he left. Booth her and the best friend were really drunk and she cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend in the club. The next day she woke up and realized what she had done. So after a few days she and his best friend confessed about the affair and her boyfriend broke up with her.

Her ex contacted her parents and he told them what she had done. Her parents called her furious and told her she was not welcome back home and took away her financial support. So she had to move out, she lost a lot of friends and had nowhere. to stay. She had to live in her car for some time. When she realized she was pregnant, she didn't know what to do. She went back to the apartment to find out her ex and his friend were no longer lived there. She tried calling and texting them, but they didn't pick up the phone or answered any of her messages. She got a job at a cafe house and there she met Kay. He was a regular customer and they got to know each other. Kay asked her out and even though she told him she was pregnant he didn't care at the time.

Kay's parents were not happy about the idea that their son was dating a pregnant woman and a cheater and threatened cut him out of their lives. Kay got scared and was going to break up with my mom, but she begged him not to and promised to be the perfect wife and have his kids. They made plans to get married soon after I was born. Kay never showed any interest in me when I was born, but my mom lived with the hope that one day he would. After hearing all of that, I didn't know what to say for a while. After thinking for a moment I asked if she had at any point tried to contact my possible bio father. She said no and the timeline would place her a fair partner to most likely be my bio father, but she can't be 100% sure. I asked her if she ever tried to reconnect with her side of the family.

She tried to contact them when she was about to get married but her parents, siblings, aunts and uncles didn't want to see her. So she gave up. I asked her why Kay was hurt by me calling him his first name. She told me he has been seeing a therapist for the last two years because he has been suffering from depression and guilt. It took my by surprise she told me that it started when I was 15. I came home after a handball game where we won and I was awarded man of the match and I is so happy and exited to tell them about it. She of course was happy for me but Kay just said to put my award with others in my room. I started to cry in front of him and asked why do you hate me he didn't reply and I went into my room and cried all night. After that he felt sad like something

had stabbed him in the cheats and it didn't go away. It only grew. My mom told him to go see a therapist until he relented and after some time the therapist got through to him. For the past few years he has been living with this guilt and he has been afraid to confront it. So when I called him by his first name he realized that he had lost me. The next question I was afraid to ask it. but I asked if he ever abused her. She told me he has never abused her. She told me that Kay has only ever loved her. The only time he ever questioned her about anything was when she was pregnant with my younger brother

and he asked for a paternity test which she understood. When it came back positive he apologized and he didn't ask about my other siblings. The last question. I asked her why I was left with people who abused me physically, menially, and emotionally while they went on trips and vacations. She was shocked to hear about the physical abuse and asked me about it. I told my mom that I never said anything at the time because I was afraid of Kay's family members when it happened.

I told her everything I remember, but here is some of the things they did. My grandparents would scold me loudly and hit me when I was younger. My aunt never spoke to me unless she needed a favor only to then go back to ignoring me and told me to stay in the guest room. When I was 14, my father took me. the family to a two-day trip to Croatia, he left me with his older brother. He asked me to go to the store to buy some stuff. And of course I said yes. When I came he opened the door and took the

bags and locked me out of the house. I sat there crying until they had all finished with their dinner and then he let me in. She cried the whole time while I told her everything. She told me how sorry she was. She knew they didn't like me, but this was just hate. After the conversation, she asked if I was going to move out and where. I told her I was planning on it and where I will not tell her because I don't want Kay to know where I would be sating. She started to cry again. And again it hurt to see her cry. The conversation was long and lasted for several hours, but these are just the main points. After that I went to my room to clear my head and think. About an hour later someone knocked at my door and I told them to open.

It was Kay who opened the door, he asked if he could enter and I said yes. It was the first time since I can remember he ever entered my bedroom. He looked around for a bit. He looked shelf where I keep all of the awards and trophies from school and sports. He was booth surprised and sad when he saw the medals from then I did track and field and played football he stopped when he saw the small man of the match award and picked it up. He held it for a while and started to tear up. He put it back and sat down on the bed. Neither of us said anything for a while. I asked if Mom had told him what we had talked about. He was still tearing up and slightly nodded his head. I asked him if he was aware on how I see him,

he nodded again and whispered yes. So you know the extent on what our parents and siblings have put me through. He looked me in the eyes and asked it was true. I said yes. and he just started full on crying. After a while he stood up and hugged me. This was Booth the first time he has ever hugged me and cried in front of me before. I just hugged him back and started to cry. He didn't want to let go and he said how he was sorry for the pain he put me through, for the years of neglect, for treating me like an outsider and he begged me not to when

he finally let go he asked to be given a chance. I told him that Moby with time I could forgive him and mom but they had to earn it. but I won't forgive his family for the things they had done. Also for now he was still K. He is hurt by it but accepted it. For now I am not moving out but if things go back to the way it was I will not hesitate to Levy and he knows it. We are going to see a family therapist together. I will in the future try and reach out to my biological father.

But I don't know about my maternal family side. I am on the fence with them. I want to thank you for real. reading. Mini update. I called my friend and told him what happened. The door will always be open at his place. We have known each other since we started school and we both play for the same team. I know his parents well and they are lovely people. I know many of you want me to movie out as soon as possible. But I told them I would like to give them this one chance. And that is what I will do for the moment. Honestly, I am not scared that things will just go back to how things have been.

I have been saving all of my money since I started working. To those who have been sending virtual hugs, hers a virtual hug back and thank you. Thank you for all the comments and support. Update 2. Firstly, I would like to thank all of you who have messaged on the last post and privately. I would like you to know that I am safe and I am at my friend's house. They are willing to let me stay with them long term. These messages have not only opened my eyes but also to see my mom and Kay for the people that they truly are.

Both of them do not love me and do not care. I have had people telling me their stories of childhood abuse and neglect and how they got out. Every time I have tried to talk to Mom and Kay about the abuse, tried asking my mom how she can happily levy me behind. Not done anything about it they have tried to avoided the questions and love Bob. me instead and saying that things will change. What really got me was this morning I got a message saying asking how my mom never noticed any burrs when they picked me up after travels and vacations. That sealed the deal for me. There is no way for someone who should supposedly cares for you not to notice. This morning I got ready to levy and packed up my things. It wasn't that much that I

was taking with me. When I was ready I called my friend and asked him to pick me up when he could and call me when he was outside. When my friend called me and I moved my things out, I let my mom know and Kay know that I will be moving out. They did not take it well and started to beg me to stay. I told them that I couldn't stay there because it was clear to me that they didn't care about me. Kay got defensive and tried to say that this was my home and I should not levy. I asked him why for these past two years when he was in therapy he has remained the same,

how come even though I tried my best I was still treated me like an outsider. He didn't say anything. I asked my mom why she let this go on for years without doing anything to stop it. Again she didn't say anything. My brothers weren't home so I went to say goodbye to my sister. It was really hard because she is the only one who has ever treated me with genuine kindness and love. I talked with her a bit and when I told her that I was going she looked so sad. It was harder than I thought to say goodbye her.

When I got to his car I just broke down, we drove around for a bit before we got to his place. His dad helped me get settled in the guest room. My friend told his parents about the posts. They asked me to tell them everything and I did. They parents talked in private for a bit and then let me know that they would rather it stay with them long term than to go back. Again, thank you for everything. Update 3, just want to make an update on how I'm doing ever since I left and to clarify things a little.

First, yes, I am dyslexic and I don't care, this is not a book report and I am not getting grades on what I post on Reddit. Second, this is not my main, my main account is followed by some of my friends and teammates and I don't want them to know what I'm going through. My best friend respects my wishes on not telling others. Now to what has been going on since I left. My best friend and his family have been nothing but wonderful. They have taken me in as their own and showed me. me nothing but love, kindness and understanding. I apricate everything they have done to make me feel safe and loved I have met with my mom and siblings on a few occasions but never at my old home or at my

friend's house. I have made myself clear that I will never step a foot inside there again and it took my mom some time to realize that. She stopped asking me to come back after I ignored her for a few weeks. I have switched therapists because I felt like I needed a fresh slate with dealing with all of this and yes, indeed, therapists are mandatory reporters in my country. I learned that after my first appointment and he contacted the police and reported my old one. K and some of his extended family have tried to reach out via texts and some have offered their apologies and others just insults. It's not too hard to think why. Those have been blocked into those who apologized, K, K, K's parents, brother and family, I replied with a simple I accept your apology but I do not forgive you. That may never

happen and it will be on my terms. For the foreseeable future do not contact me again. What happens next I do not know. I am just going to focusing on school, my mental health and getting a diver's license. Thank you for everything I truly appreciate every one of you for everything and big hugs to you all. I hope you enjoy this story. Envious sibling attempted to sabotage. my celebration for the arrival of my baby by sharing fabricated parentage examination outcomes. Soon after, her spouse surprising presented her with legal documents ending their marriage in the presence of all guests. Minnie and I are a year apart in age. She is 31F, and I am 30F. Growing up, my sister would tell me many times that she was jealous of me and that she disliked me.

It would make me really sad because she was my only sibling, and I loved and a admired her a lot. I had always looked up to her and tried to be close to her, but she pushed me away. When she was happy, she was a great sister, a really fun and creative person. However, whenever we got into arguments, she would say really mean things to me and try to physically harm me by either punching me, pushing me, or pulling my hair. My parents would scold her for doing this since she was older than me. I would try to tell her how much I looked up to her and wanted to be close with her, but she always resented me. Minnie always had a more outgoing personality.

She had a strong passion for the arts, excelling in makeup and fashion. She loved experimenting with her hair and getting tattoos. My mom had started me early in school and eventually, Minnie and I ended up in the same grade because I demonstrated advanced academic abilities according to my teachers. Fortunately, we weren't placed in the same class. Minnie did not like this and often saw me as her competition because I was more academically inclined. It wasn't a high bar, though, as Minnie simply disliked doing homework, making my pretty average grades appear stellar. I consistently earned a mix of BS and AS, while Minnie typically got CS and BS.

Her strengths lay in art, drama, cooking, sewing, and dance. As I grew up, I ended up falling in love with a violin since my mother pushed me to learn it and dabbled in learning French and Korean. Minnie was part of the drama department at school and spent most of her evenings practicing for plays. Things took a turn for her when she got kicked off the drama team due to a fight with fellow students. The drama unfolded because Minnie discovered her boyfriend cheating on her with another girl from their department. In response, Minnie decided to beat up the girl and set that girl's bag on fire. The incident led to Minnie being asked to leave the school. although nothing significant came out of it once my parents talked with the principal and compensated

the girl also. To this day, I am not exactly sure about all the details, but I do remember that she had to repeat 11th grade. Our parents lectured her a lot and she was grounded until she turned 18. Because of this incident, her relationship with our parents suffered a lot and they were disappointed with her for a very long time. The longest romantic relationship, have had lasted only six months, and you know why. It's all because of my sister. I was not exactly on a mission to find the one, but every time I had any decent relationship, she would try to jeopardize it. Once I really liked a guy called Derek. He and I had been together for four months, and things were getting pretty serious. We were on the verge of meeting each other's parents when, out of the blue the night before,

he blocked me from everywhere, phone number, I message, and Facebook. The only way we could communicate was face to face, so I ended up showing up uninvited at his house to talk. When I showed up at Derek's house uninvited, he seemed surprised to see me. I confronted him about being blocked on every platform and asked what had happened. Derek hesitated for a moment before admitting that my sister had reached out to him, expressing concerns and sharing stories about my alleged past that portrayed me in a negative light. Feeling a mix of frustration and disbelief, I pressed Derek to share the details of their

conversation. He revealed that my sister had told him about how I had been talking to other guys throughout the time we had been dating and that she found me sending inappropriate pictures to one of my guy friends. I was mortified when I heard this. I tried to explain my side of the story, refuting the claims my sister had made, but Derek seemed uncertain and confused. He questioned me why would my own sister lie about me and make up something so serious? I felt like crying as I explained to him how my sister had always been jealous of me and would try to mess up my relationships. I had no idea that she could go so far as to make up such lies about me. The damage was done, and despite my efforts to salvage the relationship, he expressed doubts about continuing since

he didn't want to be involved with someone who had a troublesome sister like Minnie. I understood where he was coming from since if I had a choice, would not be related to her as well. Heartbroken and frustrated, I confronted my sister about her actions. After a lot of yelling, Minnie finally admitted to feeling insecure and jealous that I always dated good-looking guys. She told me that it was always easy for me to find guys and she hated me. She asserted that she thought I was too good for Derek so she made up all those lies to drive him away from me.

I was so pissed at her and it became very clear to me that her actions were driven by her own unresolved issues of jealousy. My parents reprimanded her and told her how wrong this was. Minnie didn't seem to care because in the end, she got what she wanted. Derek and I were broken up. This incident served as a turning point in my life, prompting me to start thinking about moving away from her. It was a stark realization that, if I ever wanted to have a healthy and lasting romantic connection, I could not have her near me. We both shared a dream of studying abroad. She did have immense potential, but it seemed like fear or a lack of personal research led her to pursue computer science in our home country, following our dad's advice. Witnessing that, I realized I didn't want my parents influencing my future choices.

I worked tirelessly to secure a scholarship to study abroad. However, despite my efforts, financial constraints prevented me from going, so I compromised and started university in our country, majoring in what I wanted. However, after a year, my determination to go abroad persisted, and I kept searching for opportunities. Eventually, I secured a scholarship and could finally head overseas to restart my studies. My parents were really sad that I was moving away. On my last night at home, Minnie apologized to me for all the things she had done to me since our childhood. I don't know what prompted her to do so maybe it was the fact that I was moving so far away and she could have our parents to herself now.

I didn't want to pursue any drama any longer, so I forgave her. During my solo adventure studying abroad, I underwent a significant transformation. I shed some weight, met new people, discovered my personal style, and gained a newfound confidence. Graduating was a major milestone, but the year that followed was tough as I struggled to secure a job. Eventually, I found a good job and settled down. Meanwhile, Minnie finished her bachelors in our home country. She told me how she wanted to come and study in the country I lived in for her master's, so I encouraged her. She started applying to different universities for scholarships, but her applications kept getting rejected.

She started growing frustrated. Once, she came to visit me and she stayed with me for ten days so I could show her around. She could see that I had changed and whenever she made any sly remarks to me about my clothes or my hair, I did not listen anymore. I found it very weird how she would try to control what I was going to wear or how I needed to behave in public if she and I went out for lunch. If I had some friends over, she would tell me how she didn't like them and how I needed to find better people to hang out with. There have been instances when I would be enjoying myself with my friends, and suddenly she would get weird without any apparent reason. When I took her to work and showed her where I was working,

she was surprised to see how huge my office was. I excitedly told her how I'd been presented with opportunities for new experiences in the field I was working in, but then she just went quiet and didn't even seem happy for me. Instead, she shifted the conversation to herself, expressing how she would love the same opportunities and regretting some of her past choices. Later, when we were having dinner, she told me how she wanted to extend her vacation and continue to live with me but I knew that I could not live with her judgment. I politely told her that it was better for her to find new accommodations if she wanted to stay any longer because clearly she had some issues with me and refused to talk to me about it. This is when Minnie loses her mind. She started yelling at me about how she was sick and tired of having me in her life when all everybody does is compare me to her and how her achievements in life are never enough. I pointed out to her that I never treated her this way and it was she who always made me feel inferior. Minnie then told me how I was not anything special and that she could have done the same things as me if she had the same opportunities.

I told her that we did have the same opportunities growing up and that I decided to apply for universities here and worked my ass off to secure a scholarship while she was failing to secure one and was somehow blaming me for her choices. This pissed her off and she told me that I was just a spoiled brat and that she wished I was never born. Those words hit me so much that I just got up from the table and locked myself in my room. Two days later, when she flew back, without ever apologizing to me, I could finally breathe in peace. I realized just how much she and I had changed over the years and I had started to dislike her presence a little by now. Eventually, I met my boyfriend James who worked in the same industry as me. Our paths crossed all the time.

We had mutual friends and during a gathering, we met, and had a couple of drinks. It was super fun to talk to someone who understood my line of work and I thought we would just be friends. Turns out, he liked me and asked me out the next day. We started dating and were together for two years before he proposed to me. I am close to his family since they live in the same country and he has met my parents through video calls. We had been planning for our wedding when I received a job offer that would pay me double what I was earning in my current company. The only catch was that the new company was based to my home country. I discussed this with my fiancé and he and I both agreed that this was a

life-changing opportunity and I took the job. This is how I shifted back to my home country and my family finally met my fiancé. My parents really adore James and my dad spends his Sundays now golfing with him. My new job was going well and James eventually found a new job also. During this time, Minnie avoided me like the plague. She refused to meet me or James even though my parents would insist. She would make up random excuses to not meet us. She and I had not talked for a very long time, so I understood her hesitation and honestly I did not mind. I was afraid that she might try to jeopardize my relationship with James just like she had done with all my previous relationships. James and I decided to get married after a few months of settling down in my home country.

We booked plain tickets for his parents and grandparents so they could be there for us. We wanted to have a small and intimate wedding with only family and really close friends and a short honeymoon as we both are really busy with work during this time. We chose to have our wedding in the huge backyard of my parents' house and they were extremely happy about this. Our grandparents, parents, siblings, and friends all made speeches and we were showered with love and blessings. The only person who was missing was Minnie. She had apparently come down with a fever or so she told us which is why she could not attend. The food was awesome and everybody danced till midnight. We all had a great time and then James and I flew for our honeymoon. A week later, we returned from our honeymoon and I was at my mother's

place showing her some photos from my wedding when Minnie showed up. As I was talking to mom about how happy grandparents were during my wedding, Minnie interjected asking if me and James were having any financial troubles. I laughed and told her how I had a much higher paying job now than before and how James was doing well also. She then mocked me by saying that maybe that was not the case since I had decided to get married in our parents' backyard. My mother came to my defense and told Minnie that there was nothing wrong with getting married in her backyard and that I wanted to have a smaller wedding so it made sense for me. I agreed and told Minnie that I was thankful for her concern, but James and I did not like extravagant things despite our high income since we believed in using

our money wisely. Minnie got really angry hearing this and told me that I was just trying to show off as usual and that I was probably lying about my salary here. I shook my head and told her that I didn't need to show off in front of her and told her that we were not children anymore. She needed to grow up and not make up assumptions or lies about me. I reiterated that this is why I was glad that she did not come to my wedding. This pissed her off and she walked out crying. My mother did try to de-escalate the situation but Minnie didn't listen. Later, she told my grandparents and some of my cousins about how I was glad she did not come to my wedding and more things from our fight. I did send her a text to apologize, but she didn't bother replying. Over the years, I have tried to stay out of her way

as much as I can, although we did have a few good moments also. James met her and he immediately took a dislike to her. This was because Minnie would constantly make fun of him. For example, James and I both like watching Disney movies that Minnie considers boring, and she says that James might not be manly enough. I took a lot of offense when she said this and later she apologized to me and James. Minnie has also apparently expressed to my mother on several occasions that I recently found out that she thinks James is trying to control my life. When my mother confronted her about it, she told my mother how whenever she met James, she just had a bad feeling about him. One day, when my mother and Minnie had come over for lunch at my place, Minnie was telling us about how she was facing issues with her boyfriend Larry. Apparently, Larry had moved in with Minnie but had lost his job after two months.

Since then, he wasn't working nor was he paying any bills around the house. I told Minnie firmly that she needed to kick Larry out of the house since he was clearly not contributing anything to their household. Then Minnie suddenly pointed out how I earned more than James, so does this mean I should kick him out also? I pointed out that while it was true that I earned more than my husband, my husband earned quite well on his own and we were both bringing in the cash flow to our household. He was not sitting around the house the whole day eating chips and playing games. My mother agreed and told Minnie how James had

sacrificed his own career just so I could take up this high paying job here. Minnie took offense to that and started saying how men should always be the ones earning more and how it was weird that James was okay with this arrangement. I told her that not every guy has a weak fragile ego like all the men she has dated and that James loved me for who I am. Minnie, of course, never listened and later got married to Larry despite him being jobless. Larry also had a bit of a temper which we all witnessed during their wedding when we got too drunk and started to pick a random fight with a waiter. Minnie and some of his brothers had to restrain him. It was very embarrassing and I was a bit scared for Minnie. But I knew she would never listen to me so I kept my mouth shut. Over time, I have

noticed Minnie and Larry's fights have only increased because every time they fight, Larry kicks her out of their home so she has to come over and sleep at our parents' place. My parents are also concerned about her but Minnie refuses to talk to them. One day, we heard from Larry's mother that Minnie had apparently cheated on Larry with one of her co-workers. They had a huge fight and in the end, decided to work through their marriage. They had even started going for couple counseling. This year I found out that I am pregnant. James and I are over the moon. My parents congratulated us and told me how proud they were to become grandparents soon.

They assured me that they would be there for me every step of the way. Once Minnie learned I was pregnant, she asked my husband and me about names we liked and whether we wanted her help. James and I had discussed a few names, but I did not want to share it with her because I knew how judgmental she could be. I said a very firm no and told her no name would be shared until the baby was born and the name was official. Many suggested very strongly that this would be a terrible idea saying that we should discuss the names with other family members so we could give the best name to our baby. I told her we did not want people interacting or interfering in the name choice since this was our baby and we were going to name it whatever we wanted. Later, when it came to the baby shower, I asked my mother to arrange everything. I trusted my mother's judgment and besides, I hated planning.

I had also asked my mother to inform everyone to not give me any gifts since we still didn't know the gender of the baby. I just wanted to have a good time with my friends since it had been such a long time and learned tips about motherhood. On the day of the baby shower, I was pleasantly surprised to see that my mother had invited just my close friends, which is exactly what I wanted, and there were non-alcoholic drinks for everyone. I was having a great time catching up with my friends when Minnie showed up wearing a shirt that said Godmother to be. My eyes widened in shock as there was no way in hell that I was ever going to make her my baby's godmother. It was a bit awkward as Minnie kept telling everyone how she had always wanted to be a godmother. What was frustrating was that she never even discussed this with me. As the day unfolded, my mother invited my husband, my father, and Larry to join us later in the afternoon

since we were going to find out the gender of the baby. As me and James cut the cake together, we were shocked to find out that we were having a baby boy. Tears rolled down my eyes as my friends came and hugged me. However, Minnie suddenly got up to announce that she had something very important to say. Everyone stopped talking and looked at her curiously. She looked very solemn as she took out a document and held it up in front of everyone. She then announced that a few days ago, I had apparently gone for a paternity test and found out that James was not the father of my baby. She dramatically declared that the test results indicated a different father for the baby.

The room fell silent, and my husband James was visibly disturbed. He turned to look at me as I stood there in shock. James asked me what was happening and if what Minnie was saying was true. I shook my head and looked at Minnie to explain herself. My mother, without a doubt in her mind, asked Minnie what the hell she was up to and why was she even making up such ridiculous things. She snatched the document from Minnie's hand and pointed out how the mother's name didn't even have my name on it. This is when Minnie started to laugh. My friends looked at me in bewilderment.

With a smug expression, she revealed that she had downloaded a fake paternity test from the internet and came up with this plan to prove a point. She claimed that she wanted to expose James for who he was and how he was definitely abusive towards me. The entire room was in shock and disbelief. I asked Minnie if she was right in her head because my husband had never even raised his voice on me, let alone be abusive. She started to say how there was no way that a man could be happy letting his partner earn more than him and how she had suspected for a long time that he was extremely controlling. She went on to give random examples and then concluded pointing out how James got angry when she first announced the paternity test. I yelled at her that the reason James got pissed was because she publicly humiliated me and by announcing that my child didn't belong to him.

I told her how my husband had never abused me or locked me out of our house and she seemed to be projecting. I watched Minnie's face get red in embarrassment. I continued to tell her how I was so sick of her always being jealous of me all my life and how disgusting it was for her to turn my baby shower into such a fiasco. I announced to everyone that Minnie had always done this and recounted how she would lie about me to my ex-boyfriends. Minnie stood there looking humiliated. My mother told her how she had gone too far this time.

Out of nowhere, her husband, Larry, who had remained silent until then. stood up in the midst of the awkward silence and walked up to Minnie. To everyone's shock, he handed her some papers. The atmosphere shifted from discomfort to utter chaos as Minnie started to question him about what this was. Larry told her how the marriage counseling was clearly not working for them and he had come to realize that they were toxic for each other. He told Minnie that he had been contemplating divorce and wanted to give her these documents tonight, but since she liked making a scene, he could not bear to go back home with her. He told her that he was done with her and her drama and walked out of the baby shower.

The room fell into an uneasy silence as Larry's revelation hung in the air. Guests exchanged awkward glances, uncertain of how to respond to the unexpected turn of events. Minnie stood there, stunned and speechless, holding the divorce papers in her hands. Minnie's attempt to overshadowed the baby shower with her antics had backfired in the most unforeseen way. Instead of having the last laugh, she found herself facing the unraveling of her own marriage. The once celebratory atmosphere now carried a heavy tension, and the joyous occasion had turned into a somber affair. As the reality of the situation sunk in, I decided that I was done with all this. I asked James to escort me out of the event and he readily agreed. I hugged my mother

goodbye and she assured me that she would call me later to check up on me. Minnie tried to come up to me and apologize, but I didn't even bother glancing at her. Since then, my head has been reeling. As you can imagine, everyone is quite shocked about what has happened. I've been getting calls from people checking up on me. Some of them have informed me about how many burst out crying once I left the venue and my parents kicked her out without refusing to listen to her. I feel pity for her since she has now lost me, my parents, and also her husband. I feel a bit bad about how I shouted at her even though at that moment I felt like it was justified. Was I in a whole for exposing her jealousy in front of everyone after she tried to come up with a

fake paternity test? Update one, firstly, I want to thank each and every one of you who took the time to read and respond to my story. The outpouring of empathy, advice, and shared experiences over the past week has been overwhelming. I am genuinely touched by the sense of community that Reddit has provided me during such a tough time. I have never posted on Reddit before, but because of what happened with my sister I thought I needed some outside perspective. It's true what my sister did is extremely bizarre and vile, which is why I agree with some of your comments that she might require professional help. I also need to have a talk with my parents and cut her off permanently. I can't have her behaving this way around my baby. Update 2. Hi everyone. It's been a month

since I last updated. I did talk to my parents about my sister and they agree that it is the right decision for all of us to sever ties with her. Minnie shows no remorse and has now gone around telling people about how I made a huge deal out of her prank and brought up her past in front of her husband which prompted him to divorce her. Larry has since talked with my parents and apologized to us for how he treated Minnie in the past. He has told us that the reason he would kick Minnie out of their place was not because he was abusing her but because whenever they had fights she would punch him and kick him in the face which would make him feel unsafe around her. This was very shocking for us to hear because I always thought that Larry was the one at fault

but then he showed us pictures of his broken nose and black eye. It's lucky that Larry loved her enough to not go to the police otherwise Minnie would have ended up in jail by now. Clearly, he and Minnie had a toxic relationship and I am kind of glad that they are getting a divorce. My parents have talked with Minnie and told her firmly that she was no longer welcome at their place or mine. Minnie started with her waterworks, but my mom was so pissed after what she had pulled at my baby's shower that she just went off on her and told her that the next time she ever came near me or my baby they would get a restraining order against her. They told her firmly that she needed to talk to a psychiatrist because something was clearly not right in her head.

Minnie has refused to seek help and told my parents that they were being unfair by favoring me more than her. Anyway, I have blocked her from everywhere and so has James. We have installed security cameras at our house so if she ever comes to my place, I will involve the police. Update 3. It's been eight months since my last update. I am happy to write that I gave birth to my baby boy recently. The pregnancy was tough, but I am so glad that our child is here. We have named him Alex. I can't believe that I am finally a mother.

Our home is now adorned with the laughter and cries of our little ones. James and I are adjusting to the new role of being parents, and despite the challenges, we are relishing every moment with our little one. My parents have been there for us every day as I get used to becoming a parent. James' parents are flying in to see us next month. Minnie has not disturbed us even once. The last I heard,

she and Larry got a divorce, and she decided to pack up her things and move to a different city, perhaps to start afresh. I do feel sad that my sister cannot be a part of my celebration, but as a parent I have to protect my little one. I hope you enjoy this story. Allow my child and their spouse to reside in the lower level of my home. However, as I strategized my retirement, their demeanor shifted drastically and they attempted to force me out of my own residence. Howson called me a useless hag. My ex-husband, Donald, walked out on me 26 years ago when I confronted him about his three-year-long affair with a younger woman in his workplace. Donald was a classic narcissist, always refusing to admit his own mistakes and constantly

finding ways to gaslight me during our arguments. He would repeatedly tell me throughout our marriage that I was insufficient as a wife or that I wasn't satisfying him enough. His manipulative tactics were so relentless, that it had started to make me question my own self-worth and sanity. When I finally gathered enough courage and evidence to confront him about the affair, I knew he would still not relent. However, I had screenshots of his text messages with the woman, so I thought maybe he would finally see the error in his ways. The proof was undeniable, yet Donald refused to acknowledge it. Instead, he accused me of being delusional and insisted that I was invading his privacy by going through his messages.

He maintained that he and the woman were just friends, despite the clear evidence to the contrary. The arguments became exhausting. No matter how much proof I presented or how logical my points were, he continued to deny everything and turn the blame back on me. He made me feel like I was losing my mind. Eventually, I reached my breaking point. I couldn't tolerate his lies and manipulations any longer.

In a moment of clarity and self-respect, I told him to leave since he refused to admit his mistakes or take any responsibility for his actions. Since I was paying for the bills around the house and my name was also on the mortgage, I wanted him gone and informed him that we would sort out our assets during our divorce. Hearing the word divorce, Donald immediately snapped. His demeanor changed in an instant, and he started getting violent. He yelled that he was not going to allow me to divorce him and that he would continue doing whatever he wanted with other women. He insisted that as his wife, I needed to keep my mouth shut and live with it. His eyes were wide as saucers as he then leaned near to my face and threatened to take my son away from me if I didn't comply with his demands.

The fear and intimidation he was using were overwhelming and I could feel my hands and legs starting to shake. I knew that I had to leave immediately, right then and there, for the sake of my safety and my sons otherwise. He looked like he could even start to physically assault me just to get me to a agree with him. I quickly grabbed my purse and car keys and told my son to get in the car with me so we could get away from my ex-husband at least until he could calm down. Donald, however, refused to let us go. He forced himself into the car with us, yelling and making threats, saying he was going to end me for

trying to leave him. The situation was terrifying, but I knew I had to remain calm and find a way to get us to safety. I started the car and told Donald that if he didn't leave me alone, I was going to drive him to the police station. However, Donald just laughed at me and said he wouldn't allow me to do that. He threatened to swerve the car and even brought his hands near mine as I was driving, showing how he would ram my hands to prevent me from driving if I tried to head toward the police station. As we reached a traffic light and stopped, I saw an opportunity. I got out of the car in the middle of the road and screamed for help, telling everyone around me that my life and my son's life were in danger and that my husband was threatening to kill us.

Thankfully, a woman driving behind us had noticed that something wasn't right and immediately called the police without hesitation. Donald tried to get out of the car and run away, but the people who had been watching the whole commotion stopped him and took him down. I am still so grateful to all the onlookers who saved me and my son that day. Their quick actions and willingness to help made all the difference in that terrifying moment. When Donald was finally arrested and taken into custody, a wave of relief washed over me. For the first time in years, I felt safe, both for myself and my son, Harry. The ordeal had left Harry terrified, almost on the verge of a panic attack. Seeing the fear in his eyes broke my heart, but I managed to calm him down.

I held him close and promised him that I would never let him go through such a situation again. I assured him that I would do everything in my power to make sure Donald would never trouble us again. However, when Donald's family found out about his arrest, they called me not to offer support or to understand what had happened, but to shame me. They blamed me for trying to get my husband arrested and accused me of being the cause of Donald's mental state. They said as their deal I should take my statement from the police and free my ex-husband since this was all my fault anyway.

Their words were harsh and accusatory, and for a moment, I felt the weight of their judgment. But I had already reached my breaking point. I had endured enough from Donald and his family over the years. This time, I wasn't going to stay silent, so I snapped. I told them that their son needed to learn a lesson that they had failed to teach him, to respect women and children. I told them to wait and watch as I would use every legal means available to make sure Donald faced the consequences of his actions and that I would take everything away from

their son. I expressed my shame and regret for having kept my mouth shut for so long, allowing myself and Harry to suffer in his hands because I was too scared to leave. I let them know that I was done being silent and passive. Despite their attempts to intimidate me, I stood my ground. I made it clear that I wasn't backing down, not this time. The fear and intimidation that had kept me in check for years were gone. I was determined to protect myself and my son and to ensure that Donald would never have the power to harm us again.

Their attempts to scare me only strengthened my resolve. I was ready to fight, not just for justice, but for our freedom and peace of mind. Long story short, not only was Donald forced to be admitted into a psychiatric center for his violent rage, but he was also sentenced to be under close monitoring for eight months. He also had to go to mandatory anger management classes. The court recognized the extent of his abuse and infidelity, which played a significant role in the divorced proceedings. As a result, I was awarded more than half of his assets because of his years of cheating and abuse, which provided a sense of justice and security for me and Harry. Additionally, Donald was ordered to pay child support for our son until Harry turned 18, ensuring that we had the financial stability we needed.

I also took out a restraining order against my ex-husband, making sure that he could never approach me or Harry again in the future. This legal protection was crucial for our peace of mind, knowing that he couldn't come. come near us and cause any more harm. Throughout the divorce proceedings, Donald tried to catch my eye, hoping to intimidate or manipulate me as he had done so many times before. But I had reached a point of no return. I acted as if he didn't even exist, maintaining my composure and focusing on what mattered, securing a safe and stable future for myself and Harry. When our divorce was finalized, I made the decision to move out of town and into a new place, far, far away from Donald and his family. I wanted to ensure they could never trouble us again. This move symbolized a new start

for me and my son, a chance to rebuild our lives away from the shadows of our past. Even with all the money I had won from the divorce, starting a new life from scratch was still a struggle. But I never backed down as I was determined to provide a safe and stable environment for Harry. I found a job at a library, a place that resonated deeply with me as I've always loved reading books. Working at the library allowed me to immerse myself in a world of stories and knowledge, and I took great joy in helping people find the right books to read. This job wasn't just a means to support us financially, it was also a source of personal fulfillment and healing. Being surrounded by books and helping others discover the joy of reading

brought a sense of normalcy and peace to my life after what I had been through. Being a single mother can be incredibly challenging, especially when your son grows up and starts questioning you about your past, particularly about your ex-husband. When Harry reached his teenage years, he began to ask more questions about Donald, and I knew it was time to have an honest conversation with him. We sat down together, and I carefully explained why I'd left Donald. Harry had fragmented memories of our past, but he didn't know the full story. To ensure he understood the gravity of the situation,

I showed him court documents as proof of the abuse we had endured. I wanted him to know the truth, not just to understand what had happened, but also to ensure he never grew up to repeat his father's mistakes. I explained to Harry the legal repercussions his father had faced and how the laws had become even stricter now. It was important for me that he understood the severity of abuse and the importance of respecting others, especially women and children. This conversation was difficult, but it was necessary. I wanted Harry to grow up with a clear understanding of right and wrong, shaped not by the mistakes of his father but by the lessons we learned from our past. Through this, I hope to instill in him the values of empathy, respect, and integrity, ensuring he would never inflict the kind of pain we had suffered on anyone else.

Throughout the 26 years of raising Harry alone, I have given my son everything he has ever wanted. He has grown up to be a fine young man and is nothing like Donald. Harry continues to live with me even today. I don't mind having my son live with me since this is as much his house as it is mine. Three years ago, his girlfriend, Claire, who he eventually married, moved in with us. Harry and Claire were in love and wanted to live together, so I allowed them to move into the basement and renovated as they pleased. The basement even has a separate entrance, allowing them to come and go as they wish, which gives them their own privacy. The only shared spaces are the kitchen and dining area, where the three of us sometimes sit together

and have dinner. These are the only spaces that provide me with some time to interact with them and check in on how they're doing. I've always given the young couple as much space as I could, respecting their need for independence. However, I think it's important for me to mention here that Claire has never warmed up to me much. Now, I know most people complain about their mother-in-laws on read it, but I swear I have never done anything to disrespect or offend Claire in all the years I have known her. I understand firsthand how it feels to be intimidated, hence I would never want to make another woman feel that way. When Claire first moved into my house, I wanted her to feel as comfortable as possible with Harry and encouraged her to change things around the house as she pleased.

Unlike Harry, who grew up with loving parents, Claire has had a very difficult childhood. She has shared heartbreaking stories with us about how her stepfather would burn her with cigarette marks, and how her mother would let her starve by leaving her hungry while she would be off drunk in a bar. Hearing her stories has always filled me with sympathy for the poor child, and naturally, I have developed a soft spot for her. I've always treated Claire like my own daughter, wanting to provide her with the care and support she never received growing up. Initially, everything seemed fine between the three of us. However, over time, Claire started to feel uneasy around me. For some reason, she began to think that Harry and I were just

too close with each other since she never had a healthy parent-child relationship. This perception puzzled me because I had always tried to give them space and respect their privacy. She would tell Harry that it was weird for him as an adult to spend so much time with me. Just to clarify, my son and I watch a show together every Saturday, which Claire even started watching with us as well. It's just a one-hour show every Saturday, and my son and I liked watching it. I don't see how watching a show together could be seen as weird, but that's what she started telling Harry. When Harry talked to me about it, he explained that he needed to listen to his girlfriend, and I completely understood. I wanted my son to prioritize his partner, so I never questioned him

or Claire about their feelings. However, Claire continued to have issues with me further. She would subtly discourage or criticize our family traditions or activities that involve me and Harry. For instance, as a single mother, I always made it a point to spend every Christmas with my son, creating a homemade Advent calendar each year filled with activities we could enjoy together like crafts, ice skating, drinking hot chocolate, or seeing the local Christmas lights. Harry has always cherished this tradition and would even tell me how he wanted his children to experience this. However, when Claire came into the picture and spent the first Christmas with us, she started complaining about how boring these activities were and expressed a preference to spend Christmas partying with her friends instead. She told Harry that he was too old to be spending Christmas with his mommy and that they should go out like other young couples.

Despite my sincere efforts to include her in our family traditions and activities, Claire consistently tried to alienate me and diminish the special moments I shared with Harry. It was hurtful, but I remained committed to maintaining a positive environment for Harry and respecting his relationship with Claire, even if it meant adapting and accommodating her preferences. On top of all this, Claire used to have a bad habit of walking around an inappropriate clothing when she first moved in. There have been instances where I've seen her cooking in our kitchen wearing only lingerie in the middle of the day, or sometimes just wearing a towel that barely covered her ass, even while eating dinner with me. As a woman, I have no issue with nudity or what people do in their own, private spaces, but I prefer not to see that in our shared spaces. It's about respecting people and considering whether others would be comfortable with this level of nudity or not. When I brought this up with Harry and asked him to talk to Claire about wearing more appropriate clothes, it sparked a heated argument. Claire reacted defensively, accusing Harry and me of trying to control her and asserting that it was her body and her choice on how she dressed.

I calmly explained that I was uncomfortable with her exposing herself in front of me, but Claire retaliated by calling me a pervert. That really angered me, so I bluntly told her that if she wanted to walk around naked, she could do so on the streets, but inside our home, in our shared spaces, she needed to show respect and be civil. I made it clear that if she couldn't abide by that, she couldn't continue living with us. This immediately silenced Claire, as she realized she didn't have any other place to go. Since then, she started to dress more appropriately around me. When Harry told me that he had proposed to Claire, I was genuinely happy for my son, though I did have concerns that their relationship might be moving too quickly. However, I knew it wasn't my place to interfere, so I kept my thoughts to myself. I ended up paying for all their wedding expenses since Claire's parents didn't seem to care about her and didn't even bother attending their wedding. Despite covering everything, Claire began pressuring Harry to ask me to fund

their honeymoon. Harry had saved up some money for a nice trip, but Claire wanted to go overseas, which they couldn't afford without my financial help. I firmly declined their request to give them more money and explained to them that I had already provided them with a lot, including a place to live in my basement rent-free and covering all their wedding costs since Claire wanted a dreamy wedding. I emphasized that if they wanted to travel abroad, they would need to save up and plan for it themselves. It was important for me to set boundaries and encourage them to be responsible for their own financial decisions, even if it meant disappointing Claire. Although Claire was rather pissed with my decisions, she did not argue. I decided this year that it was time for me to retire and

fulfill my dream of traveling the world with the money I had saved up. Throughout my life, I had always put my son first, and now I felt it was my turn to explore and see the world while I still could. I shared my plans with Harry and Claire, explaining that I would be renting out my room while I was away to earn some extra income. Harry was supportive and assured me that he would take care of the house during my absence. It was a thrilling prospect to finally have some time for myself after years of focusing on my family. Once I submitted my resignation and began preparing for my travels, I noticed a shift in Harry's attitude toward me. He suddenly started expressing how unfair it was that I had the means to retire and travel while he and Claire were still living in the basement

and struggling. He voiced concerns about the challenging economy, expressing doubts about how he would never be able to afford a house on his own, especially since Claire had lost her job and this had added more pressure on his shoulders. My deal after being unemployed had refused to apply to any new jobs as she felt too much anxiety to get back into the workforce. As a result, my son had been borrowing money from me for months to pay for his car loan and other bills since he could not single-handedly pay for them with his income. I understood that he clearly felt trapped in their current living situation. Harry then asked me if he and Claire could instead move into my bedroom while I was gone,

suggesting they could rent out their basement to generate income. I understood his frustrations and empathized with his situation as my son. This is why I agreed to let them move into my room and told them that I would move my belongings into storage for the time that I would be away. As long as the basement could be rented out to earn some additional income, I was supportive of this arrangement. Before embarking on my trip next month, I discussed with my lawyers and decided that I would pay off my son's car loan

as an additional gesture of, thanks for looking after my house while I would be gone. As I mentioned earlier, I wanted to support my son and his wife in any way I could. However, before I had the chance to share this news with them, I came home yesterday evening to a surprising sight. My clothes and belongings were strewn on the floor outside my bedroom. At first, I was alarmed and thought our house had been robbed. But when I walked into my room, I found Claire and my son going through my drawers and closet,

removing confused and taken aback, I asked them what was going on. My son explained that since I had given him permission to move into my room, he was helping clear the space for them so they could move their things into the room. I clarified that I hadn't given him permission to start moving my personal belongings and insisted that I wanted to handle the relocation of my things myself. I questioned why they hadn't called me before moving anything and why my belongings were on the floor instead of being packed in boxes. Claire responded that they wanted to empty the room first before packing things into boxes, claiming they were trying to speed up the process since they felt I was taking too long to move out. I felt a mix of frustration and hurt. It was disheartening to see my personal space invaded and my belongings handled without my consent.

I had trusted them to respect my possessions in this house while I was gone yet they were already treating them with so much disrespect, as if my consent no longer mattered. I got increasingly angry and told them to immediately stop going through my things and that I would pack my belongings at my own pace. I made it clear to my son and Claire that they had absolutely no right to enter my bedroom without my permission. Claire argued back defensively, claiming I was overreacting as if they had committed a crime. That infuriated me even more, and I reminded her of how she had barred me from entering the basement since she moved in slash she had always insisted on her own privacy, yet here she was dictating what

should happen in my own bedroom. Turning to my son, I asked him where he expected me to sleep, as I still had a month left before my trip. Harry tried to calm me down by suggesting I move into the spare bedroom or even into their basement for the remaining days. I was shocked and hurt by his suggestion. I reminded him firmly that this was still my house, to begin with, and they were merely guests living in the basement. They had no right to push me out of my own bedroom or dictate where I should sleep. Hearing this, Claire started yelling at me that I was just an old useless hag who refused to let them have anything and that this was why she had wanted my son to kick me out for years. I was taken aback and turned to Harry and

in disbelief, asking him if it was true that they wanted to kick me out of my own home. Harry, unable to meet my eyes, looked down in shame. Meanwhile, Claire continued yelling, accusing me of treating them like outsiders and insisting that I had no right to occupy an entire house while they were confined to the basement only. She argued vehemently that since I was retired and planning to travel, I should vacate the house and allow them to take over completely so they could finally start their own family in peace. She said I was only standing in their way and refusing my son his rights to this house. Since this argument, I haven't spoken a word to my son.

Harry and Claire have left my belongings alone for the time being, and I have refused to let them move into my bedroom. As I write this, for the first time, I feel a sense of fear and uncertainty. I worried that Harry might be secretly planning ways to push me out of my own home. legally, I know he can't do that because the house is in my name, but what happens when I'm away traveling for months? It's not just about the physical space, it's about the trust and respect that seems to have been shattered between us. Ida, if I kick out my son and his wife for not respecting my space? Update 1. All right, I've listened to everyone, and I did talk to my lawyer as well. I've given my son and his wife a two-week notice to move out of the basement. I've been

clear with my son that if he doesn't comply, I will cut off the electricity and water to the basement and change all the locks around my house so he cannot come back in. Furthermore, I've warned him that I'm prepared to take him to small claims court to recover all the money he owes me and hasn't repaid. I've also made it clear to my son that their actions towards me could be classified as elder abuse, a serious offense that could lead to legal consequences, including imprisonment. This has understandably left my son feeling terrified, and he's attempted to be. He's attempted to to apologize. However, after everything that's happened, I find it difficult to trust him anymore. As for Claire, she hasn't uttered a word to me or offered any apology for her earlier outburst.

I have put up cameras around my home to record just in case they attempt to do anything to me or steal my stuff. Overall, this has been a tough decision to make, but I feel it's a necessary step to reclaim my space. The lack of respect and the strain on our relationship has reached a point where I need to take firm action to protect my own well-being and interests. Update 2, I know everyone has been waiting for an update. Harry and Claire have finally moved out. In the days leading up to their departure, Harry made numerous attempts to negotiate and plead with me.

He tried to emotionally manipulate me, expressing how his marriage was at risk because he lacked the financial capacity to support himself and Claire and urged me to let them stay for a few more months. Despite his pleas, I refused to. to back down. On the day they were packing their belongings into the car, I could hear Claire hurling insults at me and angrily kicking things around in frustration. Her behavior was hurtful, but I remained composed and refused to react, denying her the satisfaction of seeing me

affected. I am also well aware that she took some of my utensils and cutlery from the kitchen while moving out, which angers me, but I have decided to let it go. After they left, I immediately had all the locks in my house changed. I've decided to use the thank-you present I had wanted to give my son previously to instead treat myself with some new renovations around the house. I feel so much at peace now that I don't have them living with me. Update 3, it turns out my post has gone viral on, and my son has discovered it. He and Claire were completely unaware of my intention to give them money as a thank-you gift by paying off their car loan since I never discussed it with them after our fight that day. Now that he's read the post, he's bombarding me with calls, asking me for the gift.

He is telling me how much the money can help him and that I should not be so selfish by denying him this. I have told my son that this is all my hard-earned money and after the way he and his wife have treated me, he has no right to ask me for anything. Meanwhile, Claire, who didn't apologize to me this whole time, has also started to text me, claiming that I owe them this money after everything they've been through because of me. She insists that paying off my son's car loan would help make a significant difference for them financially and that as his mother, I should do this for them. She has even sent me pictures of the both of them living in a tiny room at a friend's place

and blames me for their plight. This entire situation has caught me off guard. While it's true that I had originally planned to help them out of goodwill, their lack of respect towards me ultimately made me decide to not help them out in any way. I feel disappointed by their continued demanding and entitled behavior towards me. It's disheartening that despite my efforts to support and help them, their response hasn't reflected gratitude or understanding of the sacrifices I've made. Obviously, I won't be giving a single penny to my son no matter how much he begs because I feel like I have done more than enough for them already. I've also made the difficult decision to block my son so he can't disturb me any further.

It breaks my heart to take this step, but I know it's necessary for my mental sanity and well-being. I have also postponed my trip for the moment and will be going only after everything is settled and stable. I hope you enjoy this story. Precious sibling took my partner without my knowledge, and my guardians gifted her with my grandmother's earrings that were meant for me as part of our family legacy. As a result, I decided to sever ties with my unhealthy family. This story is so weird when I, 27F, was 20 years slash oh I was in relationship slash FWB situation with a guy, now 40M. It was messy, we were on and off for almost five years. He was always clear he wasn't ready for a relationship and I was always clear I was madly in love with him.

Every time I got tired of the situation and wanted to leave somehow he convinced me to stay, because love is free, we have so much time together, he wasn't ready to commitment. I asked advice to my sister, now 42F, and she gave me some crappy advice like made him compromise, leave stuff at his place and basically turn him into a boyfriend until it was too late to him to say no. I never managed to do that because I wanted him to love me as much as I loved him, not trap him. During the last night I spent at his place he said he wanted to try something more serious with me, talked about some dates he planned, etc. only to ghost me forever. It was hard. This was the first person I loved and he treated me like crap. Six months passed and my sister came home, we both

lived with our parents, saying she wanted to introduce her brand new boyfriend, she had a ton of boyfriends but she said this was the one, it was a dinner only with my parents at our home so I was excluded and expected to just go out or chill in my room. The day came and while they were dinning I ordered a pizza I came downstairs only to find the guy I was with six months prior dinnering with my parents and sister. I was shocked but paid for my pizza and went to my room again to cry. After dinner was over I confronted my sister in front of our parents and begged her to not be with him. To be loyal to me, her little sister. There was no way she didn't know who he was, I had showed her pictures of him, his socials media, where he worked and she even know where he lived,

they never met because he didn't want it to met my family and never introduced his. But she knew who he was and she excluded me from that dinner because she knew. She said they met by chance after we stopped seeing each other. She knew how hard that rupture was, she knew how painful it was to not have even a closure, he just stopped replying, not even blocking me just left me there wondering after five years. She knew that during those six months was still hurting. I know how it was my fault, I was too naive and thought that if I stayed long enough he would be ready for the relationship I wanted and would learn to love me. Stupid, I know.

She defended herself saying it was a coincidence and chemistry was there, she loved him and she wasn't going to lost the love of her life, this stuff only happens once in lifetime. When I was in my early 20s I would believe that, however now I know that there are eight billions people in this world, there's no one love of your life, you can find the love of your life multiple time if look for it. My parents sided with her and said I should get over it since we never have a real relationship. One and a half year had passed. I've been excluded from multiple family gatherings because he would be around and my family thinks I will bring negative vibes since I'm still bitter about everything. I have no feelings for him but I feel betrayed by my sisters and my parents.

He is just pause on my eyes now. My sister is now six months pregnant, due her age she had been extremely pampered by my parents. She still lives at home and is going to move with him maybe two months after the baby is born. Then they're going to marry. In my culture is normal that if a woman gives birth moves back or stay with her mom so the mom will help with the baby for the first months. A week ago my sister's friends made a surprise baby shower I happened to be at home I tried to talk to them. I don't know why, maybe because my sister and I were to close before and I'm sad were not longer friends. But her friends acted like I wasn't there and only replied to me with them yes, no, or silence as that I was the one that created this mess.

Or I was a home wrecker. Or I tried to seduce my sister's man. I was planning to move already, I was saving money, etc., but after that I left immediately to a friend house. I'm in the process to find my own place. Two days ago I received a call from my parents asking me to have a talk. I went to their house and they informed me that the diamond earrings my grandma left me will be given to my sisters. Those earrings have been in my family for four generations and before my grandma died she said the earrings will be mine and my sister will receive a gold necklace. Grandma trusted my parents with the earrings, there was no will or anything she just asked to give it to me when I was mature enough to appreciate slash take care of a family heirloom.

Now my parents think since my sister is getting married first and is having grandma's first great-grandchild my sister should have it. I'm really mad now, they're robbing me of something my grandma left to me. I don't think my parents are evil, I think they were to word my sister wouldn't marry do her age, again in my culture a single woman in her 40s is something to worry for her family, and now that she's forming a family they want to reward her with everything. But I was the closest to my grandma, she made it clear the earrings will be my mother. mine, not my sisters, not the first one to marry or have a child but mine. After two years of being excluded in favor of my sisters I gave the ultimatum to my parents they give the earrings

to me as my grandma intended or I will cut them from my life forever. Not going to lie the idea of cutting my family off is too painful, but I feel they already made me and still makes me so wrong I don't want them in my life anymore. I feel a little shallow fighting over this but those are only things my granddad left to they are not e. entitled to them." Comment Southern Paley girl, you need to get a lawyer. Those earrings are your inheritance from your grandmother and if it's documented in your grandmother's will, they can be sued and charged with stealing. I know you don't want to do this, but your family has already shown you that you don't matter to them at all. Do you honestly believe that they are going to care if you go

no contact with them? Don't warn them that you are going to press charges for stealing, the will giving you the earrings will magically go missing. I'm sorry, op, you deserve better and I hope you stay strong enough to make boundaries that you will be able to stand by. Op, Grandma left No Will she handed her jewelry, and most of them were family heirlooms, to everybody. My grandma was the fourth generation with them. I was 12 when my grandma died, she gave the earrings to my mom so I could have them when I was ready to take care of them properly. I always thought I would wear them on my wedding day or a very special day. Since I lived with my parents not so long ago I never asked for them because mom has them in a safe in her room with other important stuff.

I don't know if they would care. I think they don't believe they're doing nothing wrong handing the earring to the sister that is having grandma first great-grandchild. But if grandma wanted that, she would have stated the sister that has the first child must receive the earrings, she said they were mine. Honestly, the entitlement. Southern Paley Girl, can you access the safe without your parents? Op, yes, I still have keys from the house. I'm worried that I take them it would be legal consequences. I have a text of my mom admitting the earrings were meant to me.

I could use our extended family that knows my grandma last wishes, but I don't it will be enough Southern Paley girl. Keep the text, take the earrings. Then go no contact with no one. explanation, they are well aware of why you are going no contact. Your family is not good people and you are not required to keep them in your life. Update, this is old but I keep receiving messages every once in a while asking for an update. Yes, I got the earrings. After my post I went to my parents' house opened the safe, took the earrings and left. Then after that I went again, told my parents I need time to process stuff and be my own self and gave their houses key.

said I was leaving for good. There was some tears from my mom saying she couldn't believe I was such a bitter person, she raised me better, I was turning my back to my family over nothing and finally that it was shameful that I would let the family house without being married or anything. So it was never about me or she loving me or anything but social pressure to keep an outdated tradition. My dad was very neutral, gave me a hug and wished me luck. For two months nothing happened and I barely have contact with my family.

found a place to live, tried to heal, have real fun decorating my new home, your normal stuff. And then everything happened at once. For those two months my sister and mom never reached to me, only my dad sent a text once a week asking how I was and wishing I was doing well. And then my sister's boyfriend slash future husband slash also my ex started to follow me on Instagram again. I found it weird but anyway after all he's my sister's boyfriend slash father of my me slash future brother-in-law slash my ex-FWB. That he started to like my stories and the replying to them with hearth emojis and looking good this happened three times maybe.

When I received the voicemail for my mom calling all sort of names for going after a man that I knew was engaged, this was some kind of revenge over my poor sister, that I was causing her so much stress her blood pressure level was over moon. I was an inconsiderate femme fatale and she raised me better. Later I learned through a cousin that my sister took her fiancé's cell phone and found several conversations with several women including his attends to talk to me so of course she went to my mom crying about me trying to steal her fiancé. All messy TBH. Less than a week later another voicemail from mom asking me where the fuck were the earrings. She went looking after them

and when she couldn't find them deduced it was me. She called me a thief. A disgrace. dishonored me and said they didn't consider me family anymore. I was dead to them. And she will be taking legal actions against me for thief if it was possible. I had no option but to block her and my sister and other family members that sided with them. My dad later texted me to let me now my mom went nuts and they won't take any legal action. By the end of last month my cousin texted me saying my sister had given birth to my niece. I know I shouldn't but I did it.

I went to the hospital with a gift while wearing my beautiful and fancy earrings. I was kicked out, of course, but it was worth of it. I have no plans to see them ever again. Well, maybe my dad. Also my cousin, big gossiper, that girl, let me know my sister is getting married in May so she will have her happy ever after, after all. But I'm also living my best life, R.N. Comments, Spark Axelotl. It isn't the right time for Avantgard dessert chili rookie mistake.

When Mom called to tell her about the earrings, Upp should have been prepared to yell in her most indignant voice, What the fuck do you mean you lost my earrings? And then imply that sister or ex stole it. And block everyone. They have no proof of her having shit. Matcha Magpie, the whole situation with the ex and Upps sister was an entire shit show on a lot of levels but bottom mine, those earrings are oops.

As Grandma intended, Oop really needs to stay no contact for her own sake. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Wife betrayed me and her mom, slept with stepdad on spa getaway. So I got revenge by blowing up their affair at family dinner, served divorce papers on the spot.

My wife and I met when we were teenagers in high school. We lived a few houses, down from each other and when I moved to the neighborhood she was very welcoming. She introduced me to all of the friends that I made and we were a part of the same friend group. We grew very close over the years we knew each other and eventually I confessed to her that I had feelings. To my surprise, she had them too. We started dating and it really seemed like I had found the love of my life. While we were still in high school, she really leaned on me for support during a tough time. Her father had cheated on her mother with an employee at the store he

owned. They went through a very nasty, bitter divorce and my girlfriend was very upset with all of it. She got pregnant the summer after we both graduated high school. It put a bit of a damper on our big plans for the future. Her going to college wasn't feasible since we couldn't afford any daycare options for a baby while she was in school, nor could we afford to send both of us to a University. I ended up going to a technical school and getting certified in HVAC installation and repair. It wasn't what I wanted to do by any means, but after I finished I landed a good job that paid well enough for me to take care of my family. We got married shortly after and everything started to feel like it was falling into place. My wife was an incredible mom, we were all happy

and healthy, and we were actually looking into buying a house. My wife was very close with her mother. I hate to say it, but I almost thought they were too close. I could tell that my mother-in-law's demeanor toward my wife changed after the divorce. She started treating my wife more like a friend than a daughter. I knew she just needed somebody to talk to and sort through her own problems, but a big part of me felt like that was inappropriate. After their divorce, I didn't remember my mother-in-law ever dating anybody else. When we would go out to dinner with her, she would comment on how cute a server was or mentioned there was a handsome guy checking her out but nothing ever came of those comments.

My wife was the one to encourage her to get on the dating apps. She helped her make her profile and she even helped her prepare for a couple of days that she went on. After a few weeks of casual dating, my mother-in-law called my wife one night, Procline. that she was in love. She talked all about this incredible man that she met and how she instantly saw a future with him. My wife was excited for her, partially because she knew that if she had another man in her life she might avoid oversharing with her. My mother-in-law continued dating that man for a few months before she introduced him to us. To all of our surprise, when she

introduced him to us she introduced him as her husband. They had apparently eloped. It was a big shock to wife and me. Personally, I thought my mother-in-law had lost her mind. After everything she had gone through with her divorce, it was very unexpected for her to behave in such a way. However, I couldn't deny that it seemed like they really cared for each other. The man was good-looking, had a good job, and was very charismatic. He seems like an all-around good guy. I actually found that I liked talking to him about certain things as well. Over the next six several weeks, he was being slowly integrated into our family. We let him meet our daughter and he was introduced to other relatives at family gatherings. Nobody would have suspected that

anything was awry. A few months had passed since he was introduced into our lives and my wife started to change. She was growing very distant from me emotionally and physically. We were hardly talking to each other about anything other than our daughter. It seemed like she was avoiding every other topic I brought up. Even ones as trivial as TV shows that I was excited about. After the birth of our daughter, our sex lives definitely slowed down, but it had never been halted altogether. Every time I would try to initiate anything my wife would tell me she had cramps or a headache

and wasn't in the mood. I was starting to feel like there was something wrong with me. One night, she came to me and told me that she needed a night off. I was kind of confused about what you. what she meant because she didn't have a job. When I brought that up, we got into a huge argument about how raising our daughter was a full-time job and how she thought it was disrespectful of me to ignore the work she was doing. I had no idea she felt that way, so I apologized and told her that she could book a room

at a local spa for a night and relax while I took care of everything at home. She was happy with that response and we ended the argument there. Her night at the spa came and went and when she got home it felt like she was back to her old self. She was happy and smiling and she told me all about the massages she got and how much she needed the rest. That same night, I tried to initiate sex and she rejected me again. I didn't pressure her into explaining or anything like that, but once again I felt very slighted by her. Still, I never suspected her of cheating. I just thought that there was something wrong with me. I started to take that sentiment to heart and I was feeling really depressed about it.

I had never been the type of person to open up about my feelings, so I didn't know how to ask her about it. One night my wife was exhausted, so I told her to go hop in a bubble bath and I would put our daughter to bed. I went about my end of the bargain and I read my daughter a story before tucking her in and when she was asleep I made my way out to just go channel surfing until I was ready for bed. As I was walking by the bathroom, I heard my wife moaning inside. Honestly, what she did in the bathroom was her own business so I wasn't immediately suspicious that something else was going on. I just figured she was enjoying herself. The following day my wife and I were in the backyard playing with our daughter.

We were all sitting on the porch and my wife had to jump up to throw some clothes in the dryer. She left her phone behind, but I didn't think about going through it at the time. I actually found the evidence on it by accident when I grabbed it to take a picture of our while she was doing something cute. It was something I had done dozens of times in the past. It was just the closest phone to me. I noticed from the thumbnail in the corner of the camera that the most recent picture taken was of my wife while she was in the bath. I was curious, so I clicked on it really quickly and saw that it was a video. I immediately closed it and pretended like I didn't see anything while I was outside with my daughter. But I couldn't stop thinking about why my wife would

have had that video on her phone. It certainly wasn't something that she sent to me so it didn't make sense why she would have it. Later that night while everybody was asleep I got up to go to the bathroom and decided I wanted to investigate the matter more. I grabbed her phone and looked through it for more information about why she took that video. I was curious if she had sent it to anyone. As I looked, I felt my entire world being ripped out from under my feet. She had sent the video to someone. She sent it to her new stepfather. I read through their text message exchanges and I noticed that there have been several times he requested pictures and videos from her. Their entire affair began when her stepfather texted her for very inappropriate advice

on what kind of lingerie he should surprise her mother with. My wife first replied saying that she had no idea, then he asked her what she would wear. From there the messages all turned sexual and she sent him several pictures of her wearing lingerie that I bought for her. They exchanged countless pictures of each other naked and from what I could tell, they had met up for sex at least once. The night my wife spent at the spa. She invited him over and they spent the entire night together. I felt sick to my stomach learning about that.

It was the ultimate breach of my trust and I didn't know how I was going to move forward. My wife was the love of my life and she took my heart and crushed it. We had a family together and she was throwing it all away. What turned myself pity into absolute anger was when I remembered her coming home from the spa and telling me about everything that happened. The massages and everything were things that her stepfather had given her and she told me about them by covering up the true nature of it all. I took countless screenshots and sent myself an email with everything. I would be using all of that in our impending divorce. Before I gave her the papers, I knew right away that I wanted to get back at her in some way.

They both needed to face the consequences of what they did. Some time had passed and I was still trying to figure out how I wanted to go about ending my marriage. My mother-in-law actually contacted us and told me that she was going to be throwing a party for the entire family to officially celebrate her marriage. It was going to be kind of like an unofficial wedding reception. I figured it would be the perfect time to expose both of them. The day of the party came and once everybody was gathered around the table for dinner I stood up to give a toast. I started by telling the man that he had been welcomed into all of our lives with open arms and everybody thought he would be great for my mother-in-law.

Then I told him that we were all wrong. Everybody was confused, but I explained that I knew he had been sending inappropriate things to my wife and that they had slept together. They both tried to lie right in front of everyone and say that it wasn't true, but I had receipts. There was no denying what I saw. At the end of it, I handed my wife the divorce papers that I had filed days before and told her that I wanted her out of our house. My mother-in-law was absolutely heartbroken, more so from the betrayal of her daughter sleeping with the man she loved than anything. My wife chased after me when I walked away trying to convince me to have a conversation with her. I told her that she wasn't worth my time anymore and that she should try to talk to her mother

who she stabbed in the back. A few days after all of that, my former mother-in-law reached out to me and told me that she was very sorry about everything that happened. She felt guilty for bringing that man into everyone's lives. Right away, I told her that it wasn't her fault. If they were both willing to cheat so easily, it was bound to happen in the future. She told me that she was trying to find a way to forgive her daughter but didn't think that she could. My wife and I ended up getting divorced and I have the house in custody of our daughter. I still stay in touch with my former mother-in-law because I know how difficult it has all been for her and the last thing I wanted was for her to feel like she lost her granddaughter too. I hardly talk to my wife anymore

aside from arrangements for custody changes and visits. My mother-in-law divorced her husband and was actually entitled to spousal support from him. So it's nice knowing that he's giving her a good portion of his paychecks now. I hope you enjoy this story. Devout spouse insisted that our child stopped participating in gymnastics because she believed that being in the presence of females would lead him astray. When I declined, she spread rumors that I had taken him forcibly and assaulted her. This is the latest in a string of disagreements that we've recently begun to have regarding our son as he enters his teen years.

I met my wife in youth group before eventually getting married years later, but she's also been the more stricter one between us. And while I believe in being strict to a point, I believe there are some times when she's been unreasonably strict, times where I've had to step in and put my foot down. I remember when our son asked to skip youth group on a Friday to go to a friend's birthday party, but she said no because, because God is supposed to come first, and while I get that, I told her she was being unreasonable, along with how missing an occasional Friday wouldn't hurt. A similar conversation took place on one of his birthdays, when he wanted to sleep in, but she wanted him to come. I again chose to tell her that it wasn't a big deal, and although he was allowed to stay home in the end, she was upset in the car and most of the time at church. In addition to this, she doesn't want

him to have friends who aren't Christians either, and that was one of the bigger arguments we have. When I asked her why she felt like that, she pointed to many mistakes that she made after drifting from God after graduating high school and thinking that she didn't need him, and that she was trying to help him avoid doing the same thing and stuff like that. I told her that while I understood where she was coming from, forcing him to do slash go to something he doesn't want to, will not help him long term and only make him resentful later on, but she's convinced that he'll turn to drinking and other stuff like she did. And she often says those memories often stick with her to the point where she doesn't want him ever having to live her

mistakes. The reason I'm writing this is because of our latest argument. She wants him to quit gymnastics because she thinks that being around a bunch of girls in tights is unhealthy, along with how God wants us to shield our eyes from things that could distract us from him. She also says the sport provides a lot of easy opportunities for him to become lustful in an environment. that seems completely normal, and I already knew that trying to talk her out of this one would be almost pointless, but I tried nonetheless. I told her that while she can think whatever she wants, it doesn't mean that others will think the same way. I also told her that there's nothing immoral about doing gymnastics and especially since he's passionate about it, but she said she

didn't want him around an environment that often harbored girls of different ages. And that the last thing she wanted was for him to start looking at younger girls. This is a little bit of a environment. This is a where I snapped and told her that while I supported her desire to talk to him about purity, that she is wrong for putting her religious bias in everything and assuming the worst for our son. I also told her that she is wrong for assuming our son would think like that, along with how she's wrong for viewing gymnastics in that light. She then told me that she'll no longer drive him or allow him to go at the end of his current class, and I told her that she's wrong and constantly over the top about everything,

along with how she's presenting a demented example of Christianity to him. I then went to bed, since I had work in the morning, and the conversation took place right when I was heading to bed, but she said wanted to talk to me first. When I went to work today, my son called me and told me what she said, that she had told him that this would be his last semester in gymnastics, along with saying that it is her duty to protect him while he lives under our roof. When I came home today, I wanted to talk to her over dinner, and I told him that he could take his food upstairs, but she told him that we were going to eat at the table, and when we were done, she said that her decision was final, since she is the

one who has to drive him in the first place, and when I tried to talk to her. She didn't want to hear it. Eventually, I told my son that I would talk to her and not to worry about anything, and he looked a bit better after I said that, probably because he knew I usually sided with him, but I'm slightly torn on this one. She's the one who drives him, and she's the one who drives him, and she's She's the only one who can while I'm at work. I'm considering asking someone else to carpool him, but I'm disgusted by the fact that I even have to do that, but my main issue is how she doesn't want to renew him at the end of the semester, so I'm considering using my own money to pay for it myself, but since our finances are

combined, I know she'll throw a fit about it. And there's still the issue of how he's getting there. I'm open to any advice that I can get to make this work. I believe that she's wrong and that he shouldn't have to quit just. because of her assumptions, but I also know that the real issue lies within our marriage. I've suggested counseling to her, but she refuses to go, so I went by myself for a while, and it did do some good. I want to make things work, and I understand that she's been through a lot, thus why she's so adamant about him staying close to God. But, I disagree with the way

she's going about it, and I'm questioning if I'll ever be able to fully get through to her. TL. DR. My wife wants my son to quit gymnastics because she thinks that being in the environment will make him lustful, along with how she doesn't want him surrounded by girls in tights because it's unhealthy, based off of her personal experiences of running away from God and making mistakes before coming back to him. Thus why she's big on purity and other stuff as well. Update 1. It's been a couple of days since my original post, so I'll get right into it. The short version of last time was that my wife wanted my son to quit gymnastics because she thinks that being around other girls in gymnastics apparel would cause his mind to lust

and be ungodly, and this is in the aftermath of her talking to him about purity and whatnot. Over the years, I've been too passive about her ways. When she guilt him into wanting to skip a single youth group meeting to go to a birthday party, all under the impression that God is supposed to come first in everything. She also doesn't want him having friends who aren't Christian because she thinks that that will push him further away from God, and I consider this a contradiction to the Great Commission that is in the New Testament. Not that I'm someone who advocates trying to bring religion into every conversation and come off as that weird person, but Jesus spent the majority of his time around people who weren't perfect saints, the opposite of what she's mandated. When she tried to force him to skip the party to put him first, I overruled it, taking the easy way out. When he wanted to hang out with friends who weren't necessarily Christians and she threw a fit,

I wanted to tell her that that's a form of being prejudiced by judging someone based off an imaginary image in our heads that has nothing to do with their actual character and before even meeting them. But I took the easy way again and just told him he was fine to keep them, when I believed that that shouldn't have been an issue in the first place. I did the same thing again in regards to the purity talks that she wanted to have with him too, and I agreed and let her have them, although I believed that she would have them, although I was rather quiet during the talk that we had. And I now regret and realize just how much of a

mistake that was for these reasons. Being completely honest, this whole situation that has been brewing for years has made me grow tired of her religious nonsense and somewhat religion as a whole. Since it can sometimes become a scapegoat for petty beliefs that people want to promote under the guise of something like that, and I think it's very manipulative. For years, I did nothing because the thought of separation and the opinions that would follow from our church and parents and friends would be overwhelming, considering how some really consider it taboo to get divorced even if it's none of their business. But, to be honest, I don't really care anymore. I've been growing more numb to religion over the past few years because of her, and after hearing her suggest that our son would look at girls in

the very same environment that he's grown up around for years in a lustful way. Just doesn't sit well with me, and that's putting it nicely. She's sexualizing a sport and suggested that our son could become a predator if he stayed, and that has resonated more than anything else she's ever done, along with making me wonder if she doesn't have that kind of mindset herself already. So, what did I do? Before doing anything, I decided to talk to her one-on-one about the matter. I asked if she had anything against gymnastics personally, and I told her that trying to make him quit would only make him hate us. She replied something along the lines of how the world has a habit of making everything that isn't sexual, sexual, and that the gymnastics environment promotes girls in clothing that can be easily looked at wrongfully, then going on to say stuff about how God wants us to have clean eyes and stuff like that.

When I suggested that perhaps she was projecting her personal problems on her, which I debated if it'd be too harsh to say, but chose to anyway. She just said no and didn't want to talk about it. I eventually asked if she'd be willing to go to counseling with me, a professional counselor who we'd find within the area. She said no, and then I offered talking to someone inside the church second. But she became defensive and said that I was trying to embarrass her in front of her friends, to which I told her wasn't true, but that she wasn't cooperating when a marriage is supposed to be about working things out. She then proceeded to get upset and say that I'm wrong for allowing our son to stay in an environment where he'll grow older as younger girls keep coming in, and that it says a lot about what I'm comfortable about looking at, by allowing him to do so. And I was done after that, since I felt she was accusing me of being unfaithful simply because I don't think he should quit gymnastics. Sure, I could talk to other parents and try to arrange a carpool, and I could drive him myself if I could get off early enough from work on some days too.

But I can't control what she does at the home when I'm not there, since she already talked to him behind my back on numerous occasions while I'm at work, trying to explain why she wants him to quit and whatnot, and if she doesn't want to talk or cooperate with me, then what more can I do? I talked to my son, told him that we'd be going up to my parents for the weekend and potentially a bit longer, and I was direct in telling him why. I told him again that I'm on his side and that she is sexualizing a sport and minors in a way that is very inappropriate, and that the last thing we need is to deal with that as he goes into his teen years. I also apologized for enabling her for so many years while being afraid of the idea of separation, and while I heavily debated whether or not I should be this direct about explaining everything at his age. I did because I didn't want him to feel that I kept things from him as he grew older and throughout this situation, and I also told him how it was. was making me stressed at work and unable to focus on my job, which allowed him to open up and tell me that he feels guilty about wanting to go, which I told him was wrong and that he has nothing to feel guilty about. But the fact that she made him even have these doubts, is something

that didn't need to exist in the first place, and my parents are helping me look into a lawyer and other ways to comfort him. A lot of this is on me for allowing it to go on for too long, but I just want to know how to help him with the guilt that he voiced in the aftermath of her words. Besides telling him that I'm on his side and that she's wrong. She's already implanted that doubt whenever he's in the gym now, and I just want to help him navigate it to the best that I can and undo the damage that her bullshit has caused. As for my wife, she didn't know that we left until after we got there, but I told her exactly why we had left, and she was slightly apologetic on the phone.

I asked her again if she'd be willing to go to counseling, but she accused me of trying to manipulate her into going. So I told her to call back if she had a change of heart, but my main priority remains undoing the damage she's done to him while recovering mentally myself and potentially working through a separation unless she shows that she's willing to change, which I have my doubts about, considering we left and she still wouldn't consider counseling. Just being up here, though, is more peaceful and needed from the stress of work and being in that home. Final update, it's been almost a month, so I wanted to come back to this. I'm not gonna lie,

I'm really tired at this point, and I wrote a lot the last two times, but I don't think I will this time because I'm really losing my energy about it. Basically, when we were still staying at my parents, I told her why we left and that I'd return if she had a change of heart when we first talked, but she refused to budge on her stance that it is inappropriate for him at his age to be in the same gym at little kids and preferably girls. from a purity standpoint. Since she believes that the world has a habit of turning everything that isn't sexual into something sexual, and she believes that the sport just serves as a candy to lustful

people who can watch girl run around in leotards as she often points out, and she's told him this bullshit while I'm at work, and it drove me crazy. I couldn't focus when in the back of my mind, she's at home telling him shit that I'll have to undo later, and I've stated in my update that a lot of her behavior is on me for being lax over the years, but I'm trying to do better, but it's been really stressful and it still is almost a month later. When we were at my parents, we stayed there for a little while, but she began to tell her parents and mutual friends false things about me, to the point where her parents and some of them began to call me or message me on her behalf and call me a bad husband along with other things,

and apparently she told them that I kidnapped our son. Along with other things about how I'm this horrible person because of her lies, not to mention something about me putting my hands on her once too, which I swear never happened once in our life or even when we were talking about going to counseling. My parents told me that she was trying to guilt me into returning under her terms and that I should continue to stay with them because she has truly gone off the rails, and we've been here ever since, but I've taken a leave from work because my mind hasn't been in a good place for over a month. And that's from everything that happened at our house and the new lies and the stress my son feels in finding a lawyer and researching other legal things

with my parents, and it's taken a lot of time out of my parents' lives too, but they've been amazing and I want to thank them when it's all over and even before then. From talking to the police and organizing documentation for them and my lawyer, I'm tired right now, and my parents are too, but we're still trying to figure it out and know that this will probably be a long process, and I don't care how much it costs to debunk her lies and get us both into therapy. My son, however, does not want to go, and I told him alongside my parents that he could go with me or alone only if he wanted to and that we weren't forcing him, but he said he didn't want to at the time, so we've left it for a bit instead of forcing the issue, and I've

begun talking to one in my spare time online as well. And my parents are helping me pay for it a little. However, my son doesn't want to do gymnastics anymore, and he's still hard on himself for everything that's transpired despite the many times me and my parents have tried to assure him that nothing is his fault. All of it is mine for letting her go down this slippery slope for so long, but he's had no desire to do it and has voiced guilt about being around girls and making them uncomfortable without even knowing he was, but I told him that that was his mom putting that in his head and that it isn't true. But I regret going along with her desire to teach purity and keeping us in a church that

ostracizes people for having an abortion like one girl I mentioned in my second update, the same church that she has spread her lies to about me, and I have no intention of ever returning there again. In regards to his schooling, that's another mess at the moment. He hasn't been in class because she went to them too, and my lawyer thinks it's best to hold off on that for the moment for his well-being with others and the fact that she could show up there herself, but he wants him to go back sooner rather than later, and I do too.

And I'm trying to see if there's a way that he can do most of his work online or something. But I'm still working on that at the moment, but most importantly. I'm trying to help encourage him to speak to someone for how he feels that's far beyond how I'm able to help him from a professional standpoint and standing my him until he decides to do anything else. From a mental standpoint, he feels guilty like I said, not just for what happened with Mom, but about the things she said to him about him lusting after girls without him knowing it at gymnastics stuff that I don't want him developing a complex about over her nonsense, but my other main priority is getting a divorce after this last straw. I can't take it anymore, and I don't know how much longer this will continue. Probably a while, but he's tired of gymnastics and not in a good state right now, and my parents think it's best to probably have him go to see someone sooner rather than later, which is why I'm probably going to make him go at some point.

Although I don't know the best way to do that without coming off is forceful in a way that he'll resent, and if anyone has any advice on how to make him go in a way that doesn't make him upset or resentful or unwilling to potentially help us with some of the legal stuff she might have said to him. Although I know that that is not my first priority. I'd really appreciate that as it hasn't been easy on him, and I just want it to be over, but I'm aware that this is the consequence of letting her get away with small things over the years that boiled into this, but if we can come out all right, then maybe we can both somehow be stronger at the end of it.

Next story, boyfriend surprise was flying in my estranged parents without telling me when I left, He got mad at me for ruining his surprise and said he had a right to meet them. My boyfriend, 26M, and I, 23F, have been dating for a little over eight months, and on early November it was my birthday. I was excited, as it was the first time we were going to be spending either of our birthdays together, and he had spent all of October teasing a surprise he was planning. Now, for context, I should mention I have a very complicated relationship with my parents. He knows this, and we have spoken in detail about why that is the case.

My parents are out of my life, and have been for the past two years, he knows all this. Because of my relationship with my parents, for the last couple of years, I spent my birthday with my best friend, who I consider family. So, when my boyfriend let it slip on my birthday that the surprise he had planned was a family dinner, I had sort of assumed it meant my sister and her husband, and my friend and her partner. I was wrong. The surprise he had planned was flying in my parents from a whole different city. I was confused as to why he would bring them, but I might have overreacted.

I don't think I even stayed there for more than 30 minutes before I walked out of the restaurant and drove home. I don't really remember much of it. I just couldn't sit there and listen to my parents belittle me while my boyfriend was sitting there. The next day, my boyfriend showed up to my place. I knew we were going to talk about the previous day, but I guess I was expecting him to apologize. He didn't. Instead, he got angry at me for ruining the surprise he had been planning for a long time, and he said he just wanted to give me a chance to have a normal relationship with my parents. I understand where he is coming from, I guess, but I really didn't appreciate the way he went about it.

I told him this, and he wasn't really receptive. He just said that as my boyfriend he had a right to want to know my parents. I can really see what he means, but I can't help to still feel like I'm owed an apology. So, am I the asshole for ruining my birthday surprise? Comment where OPP has replied, comment her, oh my gosh. You're so entier. Your boyfriend, however. I suspect this isn't the first time he's disrespected you.

He has no right to know your parents. your siblings, your friends, your bank balance, or even your favorite color. Does he always make everything about him? Whoop? What really surprised me at that it really was the first time. He's always been really sweet and thoughtful it didn't even cross my mind he would have done something like this update. December 1st, 2024. First of all, sorry for not replying to any comments at all.

I got overwhelmed by the amount of attention the post was. getting, and I didn't really know how to deal with over a hundred people telling me to break up with my boyfriend. We did break up. I wish I could say I confronted him with all the comments and their carefully constructed arguments. Don't get me wrong, they definitely did help me, but I am terrified of conflict, so it's probably not the dramatic update a lot of people were hoping for. I should say, we did technically make up the day after my birthday surprise slash ambush. I posted about it because I was feeling discontent with how we resolve things. Now I see it's because things weren't resolved at all. He just made me apologize about it without

giving me an opportunity to be angry. I thought I could tell him to come to my apartment next week, so I had more time to figure out a natural way to bring it up, and then when we had a conversation about it we could move on from it. I ended up bringing it up after we had lunch together yesterday, while I was driving him back to his place. I hadn't even meant to do it, but I didn't know how to behave with the underlying anger that I now had. So, in the end, I just asked him why he had done it, trying my best not to sound angry as I generally don't like being angry. He said he wanted to get to know the people that raised me. His answer was bullshit for a lot of reasons, but the biggest one is that I have literally told him that my older sister is the person that raised me.

When he met her and her husband, we all joked that it was like meeting the parents. I told him that he had every right to want to meet whoever he wanted, but he had no right to go behind my back and force me to be around people I have cut out of my life. The next thing he said is truly what made me break up with him. He said he doesn't understand how someone can stop talking to their family. I cannot stress enough how many times I have explained to him why I have stopped talking to my parents. He has asked more than once. After he said that I think I had a realization. He doesn't understand me, he has made no efforts to do so.

So I told him that after I dropped him off at his place I didn't want to see him anymore because I don't want to put an effort with someone that doesn't care about what I want. He didn't take that well, but his emotions are not my problem anymore. Right now, I mostly feel really sad. I know I'm probably better off like in the long long time. run, but break-ups suck, and I did love him. I think I'll be okay, I really appreciate everyone's support. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse declined to allow my adolescent girl to return to our residence as she is not considered true kin. Following our argument, she confessed to feeling

envious of my daughter. Anna is 16 years old. She was an accident when I was 24. Anna's mother and I were never together as a couple because it was a one-night stand, but we have maintained a friendly and healthy co-parenting since she was born and we became good friends. My daughters has been living on another continent for a few years with her mother and stepfather. But she wants to come back because she doesn't feel comfortable there and misses her family and friends, Anna doesn't knows their language well and it's still hard for her to learn it fully so she feels really lonely there since it is different to speak your native language than to make friends by speaking a foreign language from zero. I spoke with my daughter's mother and we thought it was a good

idea to let Anna live with me. Her room is now my home office but I can easily put together a room for her again. We didn't confirm anything, I talked to my wife about it first and I was sure that she was going to be okay with that because we literally talked about that possibility before. The problem is that my wife doesn't want that to happen. My wife and Anna have never been close because they only meet in person for our wedding when I was able to pay a ticket for my daughter to come. That was the last time I saw my daughter in person too, plain tickets are too expensive, but they do tend to talk a little bit when I make video calls with Anna every day but not too much. Anna also talks to her brother and he likes her a lot even if they just see each other in video call.

My wife says Anna is not going to feel comfortable in a house with strangers and I told her that we are literally her family and she said no, she and our toddler are not Anna's family because they barely knows her in person. It honestly hurts me that she thinks that way, but I understand her point of view. Although our toddler is Anna's brother and it really annoyed me that she said that because our little one really loves his sister even if they just see each other online. I had an argument with my wife about it and I ended up telling her that my daughter will always come first of all, because it's true, for me my children will always come before any other person and she knew very well about my daughter when we married. My wife got angry and said that

bringing Anna home would change how we handle ourselves and that she doesn't want to be a stepmother. She said that Anna lived with her mother in another continent so it's not the same as having her right here every day. I told her that no one is asking her to be a stepmother because I will be the one who take care of her as always. My daughter used to stay many days and even months with me and I was the one who took care of her, I'm not going to give my wife all the work because I was a single father for a long time and I know how to take care of my daughter. I work, I clean, I cook. I take full care of our son when she works and wants to go out and do something just like she does with me. We both support each other in raising our son, I don't know why many people is so shocked

about the fact that I take responsibility dot of my own child. But that if she doesn't respect my daughter's presence in the house and hates it that much then she is all the freedom to go to a hotel room. I was a big idiot because those words obviously ended up really bad and we had a worse argument. My daughter has every right to live in my house if she wants but my wife doesn't want that. I really love my wife but my biggest focus is to give the best to my children and I would love to have my princess here after years. My wife hasn't been talking to me at all and she's very angry. But she does continue with the same stance that she doesn't want Anna here at all and I know I will get angry and we will end up arguing again because I'm not going to leave my daughter alone

at it. My wife always knew that Anna lived with me several days a week when she was still in the country because I talked with her about that and the possibility of Anna's family returning to the country if things went wrong. That would have meant that Anna would come back to live with me for many days or even months like she always did. My daughter used to come at my house. My daughter used to come at my house every day too. My wife agreed with that years ago when we talked about that, but now admits that she thought my daughter was going to stay out of the country with her mother because their business is going really well. Throw R.A. because my daughter uses Reddit 2. I changed some data to not make it too obvious. Edit 2, guys, I've been reading the comments nonstop for two hours and I have

too much to think about. Thank you very much for the advice, whether bad or good this is helping me to reflect on several things that I did not take into account. But please don't be so harsh because I'm a real person-haha-relevant comments where O.P. has replied the discussion with his wife. We had it because she knows that my daughter used to stay in my home before she left the country. My wife says that in her mind my daughter was always going to live with her mother. To another commenter, she didn't say that when we got married, she said it now. When I told her about that possibility years ago, she just said she was okay with it. Now she admits that she thought Anna would stay there. Comment her, if she

doesn't change her mind, do you see your marriage lasting? Oh, O-op, to he honest? No, not at all. Even if I love my wife, my daughter no longer feels welcome in her school or comfortable. I don't want her to feel that way here too, comment her. What are you going to do about the child that you guys share. Oh, okay, my son would never be homeless. Being okay with my wife would be the ideal plan. But if she continues to reject my daughter's presence and we break up, I'm going to make sure I pay her and our son a good place to stay and go for 50 to 50 custody like I had with Anna or make some kind of cohabitation agreement. I'm going to do the same thing with my son that I did with my daughter which was go see her every day and take care of her, I wouldn't fight with my wife or

stress our son out with grown-up stuff. Commenter, not picking sides here. But if your wife leaves so does your son. Everyone is screaming, put your child first. You may have your daughter full time and your son 50 to 50. Doubt they would take a toddler away from a woman you say is a wonderful mother. I think the rock and the hard place is a lot harder than you think. Oh, O-op, yes, I've been thinking about that too.

co-parenting with Anna's mother has always been really easy because we've always been good friends and there was never a fight. But I don't want to think that if I divorce my wife or we break up because of this, I'll have a harder time seeing my son or how the co-parenting would be with her. Update 1, May 15, 24. I'm sorry but I decided to delete the post because a weirdo started to just spam my private messages with different accounts and I don't know if I can put the account on private or something like that. I don't use this site too much, but a bot started sending me messages asking if I needed help so I think my account could get banned because of that person doing this and I'm too old for this so I'd just rather post the update here where I can at least close the comments. Guess the post will be here if someone cares. First of all, I want to clarify that I am from a third world country. Here it is really expensive to get a plane ticket and if I travel I must do it with my wife and our son too so it is too much money that we cannot pay.

I let my daughter's mother take her to another country because like every father, I want her to have better life opportunities. I don't think that makes me a bad father, but I guess the minds that have always lived in privilege don't understand. The last time I could afford some tickets was for my daughter to come to the wedding. Not all of us have the privilege of paying for a plain flight. I've been thinking a lot and in fact I'm the odd because of the way I treated my wife. Even if most of the comments agreed with me, I don't think it's a lot. was right to say that to the woman I love even though I was angry. I apologized to her for what I said and the way I said it, but I told her that I don't like it when she ignores me and

gives me the cold shoulder when I try to talk about our issues and the fact that she denied the familiarity between our son and daughter was just cruel. She apologized for it and said she was angry and said things she regret. I made it clear to her that Anna is coming because no one can forbid any of my children to live with me, not only morally but legally I am totally obligated to give my daughter and son a house. She tried to argue, but I asked her how she would feel if we divorced and my new girlfriend refuses to let our son live with me just because she didn't sign up for it. I asked her if she would appreciate a man who abandons his children for a woman more than a man who cares about his children. If she would feel confident knowing that she is

married to a man who abandons his children that easily. My wife said no, that obviously she knows how much I care about our children and hates the kind of man's who abandons their kids. That she knew she wanted to have a child with me because she saw how even though my daughter was so far away I made video calls to her every day and we always help each other with things around the house. Then I asked her why she rejects the idea of my daughter being here and she admitted being jealous of Anna, it is something that I have noticed in the past. For example, for one of my daughter's birthday I sent money to her mother to buy her address that was quite a expensive and my wife just said, I guess you will buy our son something just as expensive. It was my

mistake to let those comments pass and think they were just a weird joke. She said that she doesn't want my daughter to come and took time away from our son. That bothered me and I told her that if we had two children my time would also be divided and that as a father I can give the same attention to both. Changing our routine doesn't have to be a negative thing and she knows that Anna is not a problem teenager. We talked a lot and I explained to her that I just want to make everything work for both of us. I apologized if I made her feel bad with the way I treated her, and I told her that I want to really hear what things are bothering her so we can understand each other better. We agreed to have better dialogue and communication about this kind

of things. My wife admitted that her jealousy is wrong and feels embarrassed about it, but it's how she feels and she feels awful for feeling like that. I told her that feeling isn't right, being jealous of my daughter isn't right and I told her that it would be okay to start going to the psychologist if we want to fix this because I'm not going to leave my daughter live in a place where she doesn't feel loved. My wife accepted after talking about it a lot these days and she wants to work on herself about that because doesn't like feeling like that about a little girl and knows it's wrong. My wife and daughter always had a nice treatment. When I make video calls with Anna, my wife usually talks a little but not that much.

I think my mistake was not offering my wife to make video calls alone with Anna like Anna does with my toddler sometimes. My daughter really likes my wife and calls her auntie even if they don't know each other too well, so I don't want her to know how my wife really feels about her. I offered my wife to teach her how to play the same video game I play with my daughter so they can play together and get to know each other more, I know Anna would love that. They both have a lot of same interests, she accepted and said she loves me and wants to try it for me and for our toddler. If I leave my wife I would be breaking my son's house. He's my baby too and the last thing I want is letting adult matters affect him.

I don't want to do that and I love this woman. I want this to work and I'm going to do my part for it but the first moment she treats my daughter badly, I will end things with her and I clarified that to her and she was right with that and promised me to work on this. I still haven't confirmed anything to Anna's mother about the date on which our daughter can come since I need to fix the room for her first and I want my wife and little girl to get to know each other better, talking about it with my psychologist. He told me that the best thing is always to get them closer little by little before Anna comes to live here. This last four days my wife and Anna have been talking longer and I told Anna that we could teach my wife how to play with us. Anna feels really comfortable talking with my wife and they started talking about random things which I feel out of because I don't understand about the things they talk about.

But I'm pretty glad to see that they actually have things to talk about. I suppose a lot of people are going to call me an idiot for not divorcing my wife because that was what most of the comments told me. But it's not all that simple as yeah, we argued so let's get divorced in a 50-50th custody and I personally think it's been better for us to have spoken up like mature people instead of just getting divorced. Seeing that my wife has opened up to me and is trying to work things out. I prefer to give this a second chance and hope that she can see my daughter as her friend and even as her family if she allows it to herself. Your wife is going to treat your daughter badly.

No one can read the future to say that, but I can work to make that future not happen. In the meantime, I prefer to maintain a positive approach since my wife has never behaved. badly with my daughter and my daughter knows that if she feels uncomfortable, she knows she can talk about it with her mom, stepdad, or me as we always teach her to talk to us about anything that makes her uncomfortable. Anna has a sharp tongue so I doubt she'll stay quiet if my wife makes any comments that make her uncomfortable. I'm not going to force them to be best friends, I want them both to flow on their own. I'm also not going to use my daughter as a free babysitter as many in the comments suggested as a supposed solution and both she and her brother can live in this house as long as they want.

Edit. In the previous post several people said that my wife also made a post here but it's false. She doesn't use this site Edit 2, I don't understand why, but I've been getting a lot of notifications from that bought from a redditor who thinks I need help and private spam messages from different accounts created literally today. I really don't know who's doing this and I don't understand what's the fun of annoying. like that, just block me. Relevant comments where op has replied, commenter, if your wife doesn't get over her jealousy though, you're going to have to make a choice. Hopefully, since she took ownership of how awful what she said slash did was, she'll become better. Oop, yes, I have made it clear to my wife that my decision will always be to protect my children from any person or situation

so if her jealousy returns, there will be no third chance. Commenter, do you plan on leaving your daughter alone with your wife. Oop, for now they have video calls with me, if my daughter wants to have video calls only with my wife, then they will have video calls alone. My daughter is smart and has a sharp tongue, if she feels uncomfortable with anything my wife does she will tell me or her mother or stepfather about it. Commenter, I meant when she comes to stay with you, would you feel comfortable with leaving your wife alone with your daughter?

Oop, if my wife continues to improve her behavior and continues to be open to having a close relationship with my daughter, yes, the ideal is that as I said in the post. That is precisely the reason why they are making video calls together, so that not only me but also that they feel comfortable with each other when they live together. Comment her, just because she's okay doing video calls with your daughter and being nice to her, doesn't mean she's going to be the same when your daughter is in her home, especially when she doesn't want her there. Boop, and it doesn't mean she'll treat her badly, either. Neither you nor I know the future and we could assume all night about what will happen, I prefer to think about the best

for all the members of my family and trust that my wife wants to improve for herself and others with professional help. Wife needs to know she can talk to you if she's uncomfortable. This probably won't end well. Boop, my wife knows she can talk to me about whatever she wants, As I said in the post, she has opened up to me about what she really thinks and we've been having a sincere dialogue. Update 2, June 23, 2024. I didn't really think about updating again, but I remembered that I have the account and I thought why not? Since I have free time in this moment while I take care of my toddler. My daughter and my wife's relationship is going very well, they both make video calls to watch some series together that they both like.

They have even started to have inside jokes that I don't understand but I think that something good although to be honest now I feel a little left out, just joking. My wife has been going to the psychologist, and me too, I want both of us to get better together, to work on her insecurities and problems because she knows that feeling jealous of my daughter is not good at all and a few weeks ago she talked to my daughter about her feelings towards her and apologized. My daughter was quite surprised to learn that my wife felt this way but accepted the opportunity. apology and told her that she understands her. I left them talking alone that day so they have

privacy and after that they have had a closer bond. My wife said that my daughter told her that she will always respect someone who is sincere and wants to be a better person. In the previous post many said that I decided to bring my daughter without talking about it with my wife before but that's literally what I did. I never confirmed anything to the mother of my daughter until I spoke with my wife, I was never the partner of my daughter's mother, BTW. Many comments mentioned her as my ex-wife, but we were never anything. The talk about bringing my daughter back was paused because I wanted them to know each other better before living altogether, but my wife started to talk about how she wants to decorate

the bedroom and rejected all my ideas because they're too boring for a girl so she's having fun redecorating the room with our toddler who's really happy to see. His sister in person We still didn't arrange the date because my daughter's mother have to talk with her high school for the problems there and everything and I have to prepare everything here too but all is going well step by step. Update 3 New Update, September 12th, 2024. Hello I just wanted to have one last update before deleting the account since I don't see the point of continuing to have it. My daughter has been living with us for weeks now, my wife and she get along well.

Her little brother adores her and they can finally spend time together in person he's really excited to have her home now. My wife has been working a lot on herself and I have noticed how much she changed in a good way and how her relationship with my daughter is good. I noticed it especially when we went to pick up my daughter at the airport and my wife was very excited to see her. They have been watching movies together online for months. She is no longer jealous of my daughter and although it is a process that takes time, I know that she is making an effort. My daughter has not started school here so she will have to wait until next year. Anyway, we decided to bring her now since in a few months the tickets will be much more expensive. It was my wife the one who told me that and that she felt ready to spend time in person with her.

I was really happy to hear her say that, I didn't expect it her to already feel ready to tell me that. My daughter lived in a country in Asia, although it was a really beautiful and safe country. It was very difficult for her to adapt and their bullying is something very serious, much more so towards her who had so much difficulty with the language. Sometimes she obviously misses her mom but they text a lot, I try to spend as much time as I can with her so that she doesn't miss her mother and stepfather too much. I also take her to see our relatives and she has met my wife's family as well. But in general I know that she feels happy here and she has told me that she missed her grandparents, uncles, and cousins. The whole family is very happy that she is back here. My wife and I are doing great. And I've also worked on myself by going to therapy, now we talk a lot whenever something bothers us

or we have some discontent. I think the key is that we can communicate even if they are dark thoughts. I know that she is a good person and like everyone, she has dark thoughts but she is a good person because she works on improving herself and I'm doing that too. I love her and I know you. I know she's a good mother who wouldn't treat my daughter badly. I like to take care of our children, take care of them, clean and cook for them, although sometimes I find it hard to understand that my daughter now does all that by herself and I don't have to do it, ha-ha, but she is still small in my eyes just like her brother. Anyway, I'm sorry if it's a boring update and everyone expected me to divorce my wife, but things are like this smile. Luckily, we are starting to solve

our problems. They now have a relationship of friends and I like that if they are happy like that, I hope you enjoy this story. Partner found it amusing to repeatedly belch and pass gas in my presence. When I eventually reached my breaking point and ended the relationship, they arrived at my residence and assaulted my companion, and revealed his true self. Hello, Reddit. I've been dating James for just over a year.

We have a really good relationship and we are good with communicating any issues that we have come to, I am very much in love with him and we are happy. Now, maybe he is very comfortable with me now, which I know is a good thing, but I'm very frustrated and I don't know if it's just me. This is the only issue I have with him. He's just constantly farting and burping and it's starting to really gross me out. It feels stupid to even type that. But it's really become excessive.

We are both graduated from school and work full time. We do not live together, but we do not live together. but he is starting to move into my apartment. This started about five months into our relationship and it has gotten progressively worse. He will burp constantly and blow it into my face, to a point where I will start dry heaving. Because he thinks it's funny. He does the same thing with farting, always trying to do it on me because he thinks it's hilarious. I know it's normal, I grew up with four brothers, but he is constantly forcing it to happen.

This is not once or twice. We have spent almost every night together the past six months, and it will happen all night. All night. I have asked him to please stop because I find it really gross, especially the burping because he will do it in my face and it turns my stomach and he will apologize but still continue to do it. Or lean in for a kiss and burp in my face instead, then laugh himself to the point of tears when I act disgusted.

I thought maybe, at first, he was just really gassy and I should be more understanding. because it's a natural bodily function. He does not do this when we are out to dinner or with friends. A few months ago we went to a wedding together with some members of his family and he accidentally burped really loudly like he normally does when he is alone with me, and our table went really silent and glared at him. I didn't want him to be embarrassed, so I high-fived him and said good one. Then the whole table started laughing and cheering and he afterwards he pulled me aside

and said he was thankful I did so, as he was humiliated. but I broke the ice. I was a bit drunk and frustrated, so I asked him why he does it to me constantly, but he wouldn't do it in front of other people. His reasoning is that I am his girlfriend and he should be able to play around with me like that. That I was being a typical girl for finding it rude, uptight, high maintenance. I didn't want to argue about it, so I told him I was none of those things and he knew it, cut the bullshit, we'll talk about it later when we're sober and just have a fun time at the party for now.

And we did. But it never changes. I've tried to make plans to be out of the house when we see each other, because even though it seems ridiculous it's starting to stress me out. I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they think it's so funny. He is a very sweet guy, I like spending time with him, but I feel nauseous when we are alone together because it's just so gross. He is starting to work longer shifts so he wants to stay in a lot most nights to relax. He started doing it during sex, as a joke, and our sex life has really suffered because of it. A few nights ago he was texting me before he got off work, complaining about his day and he seemed really stressed out so I told him I would come over and I'll make his favorite and I'll make him forget about it.

So I went over to his house and started cooking until he was off. After dinner he leaned in to kiss me, and I turned my head because I'm so used to him burping in my face. We had an argument because he was accusing me of cheating, we haven't been having sex. I told him it was because of the burping, and he said I needed to get over it, that he was only joking and I was being such a prude. That his girlfriend shouldn't reject a kiss from him yada yada.

I told him that I've been saying this is a problem for a while, I don't think it's funny at all. I have thrown up because of it. He started to laugh as I said that. And I just, kind of lost it. I don't really yell at people, I am a calm and collected person, so I scared him a bit. I told him it was disgusting and I am getting to the point where I'm no longer attracted I've been trying so hard to be understanding but it's a two-way street.

It wasn't to me about something being gross or funny anymore, it was about respect. He kind of got defensive, trying to throw in how I was overreacting, being. ridiculous, but I shut it down and he apologized because he apparently didn't know I felt so strongly about it. He would try not to do it anymore, at all. I don't care that it happens. I only care that he forces it, etc. Now, having talked it out, for the next couple of hours he actually didn't try to burp in my face or fart on me. I was so happy I could enjoy cuddling my boyfriend without trying not to vomit. So I started unzipping his pants to make him forget about his bad day. You already know where this is going. It's humiliating but I'm going to type it out anyway,

as I was trying to blow him he pushed my head down so I couldn't get away and tensed up and started farting loudly, while laughing. I was so frustrated I started crying immediately. I think he realized he did something wrong because he let go of my head and tried to hold me and he kept say, I'm sorry. I thought you meant to do it less. I thought it was going to be funny, to break the tension from before. But I got up and left his apartment. That was two days ago. He has tried calling me, texting me constantly. I have not responded. His messages range from being very apologetic to very angry, back and forth. I don't know what to do and I feel like this relationship is over but I still love him. I feel also, really gross and violated in a way.

Our mutual friends have been texting me as well asking if everything is okay, and I've tried explaining the situation to my best friend but he found it hilarious. So I'm afraid to explain it to anyone else. This is just so stupid. I literally feel like I'm crazy, maybe I am uptight, etc. I also have a lot of his stuff over here that belongs to him and I'm worried he will come back to get it and I'll have to face him. What should I do? Am I just overreacting? Comments where Op has replied. Deleted. Fuck that. I grew up with three brothers and I wouldn't put up with this from a boyfriend either. Tell him when you do this. It reminds me of growing up with my brothers, and you're starting to be about as attractive as a brother, as in I am not attracted to you because of this.

Stop it immediately or I am going to stop this relationship immediately. You are seriously crossing my boundaries, and this is not okay anymore. If he can't pick up on the fact that you are serious after that talk, dump him, because he's about as mature as a two-year-old op, that's how I feel, he's like one of my brothers. I tried telling him this, but I don't think he was taking me serious. Thank you for your reply, because I suppose it really is a boundary and that's why I've been so upset about it and kind of invalidating my own feelings and believing I am being kind of ridiculous. Bloopy Tebowl. Good God. Just good God. After you literally screamed at him about it like a few

hours ago, he thought it would be funny? Can you even picture being naked with him without gagging? Also the whole thing is kind of hilarious and the I can't believe this is a lot of. how a real grown-ass person behaved, you've got to be making this up kind of way. Hoop, to be fair. He did text saying he thought it was only the burping thing that I didn't like that much because it was what caused the fight and that's why he thought it would be funny. But I haven't replied because I know I mentioned it as well. Update, thank you for everyone who replied to my original post, and also those who PM'd me.

I wasn't really expecting as much support. But I'm glad that I'm not alone. Last night I was pretty miserable and just felt confused and sick about the whole thing. It really helped me deal with what I was feeling and rationalize. Reading what everyone had written. I just want to clear a few things up before I get into how this is climaxed for me. My boyfriend did not start out doing this constantly. I remember the first time he did it I was confused and told him right away I did not like it calmly and he seemed to understand.

I have never laughed when he did it purposely. I know the difference between an accident and what he does. A lot of the replies helped me examine my relationship as a whole. We have had other problems that seemed to fit the same pattern, he had the same behavior with driving very fast for fun and he had the same issue with playfully pinching and tickling, but he was doing it so hard it would leave bruises. I always expressed that I did not like this, but he was insistent that I was overreacting. When I showed him he was actually hurting me, he stopped completely.

and never did it since. I didn't think it was an important thing to bring up. I think it's a bit harsh to call him abusive. Because he respected that boundary. I know a lot of people were suggesting that I do the same thing to him, or retaliate in the same way and it might sound nice to entertain that fantasy, but I'm really not like that. I will never let someone else's actions define who I am as a person.

I know I will never try to intentionally hurt someone and that makes me have faith in myself. A few of you made me really cry because before I wrote my post I was completely unsupported and I felt alone and, well, really ridiculous and dumb. So thank you very much for taking the time to help me even though I'm a stranger and none of you owe me anything, let alone your time and kindness. Thank you. Now on to today. I have not replied to any of James' messages.

I blocked him on all devices. I feel like I basically told him was over and he knew that. I have messaged a few of our mutual friends back saying that I would really appreciate it if they would just drop it, that everything is okay with me but the relationship is over between us. A post said I didn't have to explain the situation completely, so I did that, they seemed very understanding except one replied saying over a one-time incident. Get real, LOL, but we so long as you're happy it didn't really bother me, because I know the truth. It was hurtful that James may have lied, but I'd rather surround myself with people who value honesty.

I also invited my best friend over and asked him if he could help me box all of James' belongings to which he agreed right away. He kept asking me what happened, and if I was okay so I showed him this post and he was disgusted. He apologized for laughing when I had tried to tell him earlier because he said he didn't know it was so serious. He offered to take James' belongings to him, but I made him prime. promised to not be hostile or I'd ask someone else. He agreed. We spent a lot of the day in my apartment. When the front door opened. It's hard for me to articulate myself, but I'll try to type it exactly as it happened. We both heard it and stopped talking immediately. It was James. I'm not going to lie, I was immediately frightened and maybe I could have handled it better,

but I kind of just stood there. I just didn't expect to see him. He has never showed up at my home or work without a warning. My friend asked him what the fuck he thinks he was doing here. James kept staring at me and ignored him saying I thought you were dead or something. Why have you been ignoring me? My friend stepped in front of him and handed him one of the boxes and told him he could take his stuff and leave, that it was over and I didn't want to talk to him.

James laughed and made a move towards me and said I needed to talk to him alone, but my friend moved in front of him and told him that he shouldn't be in my house uninvited, that it was illegal and he was going to call the police. Then James got really mad and twisted his face all weird and I can't explain it, but he started yelling and it was like he wasn't the same person at all. He called me a slut and a cunt and said that I was some ridiculous princess and he just kept going, my friend telling him that's nice, now you need to leave or I'm going to make you. And then James threw down his box and punched my friend in the face.

I don't remember exactly, but my friend fell back and James came up to me and he grabbed me and started shaking me saying I was stupid for throwing this all away and that I was probably sleeping with my friend. I was very afraid and I couldn't believe this was happening. My friend got up and grabbed him by the back of his shirt and threw him off me and shoved him out of my apartment. James ran away down the hall kicking people's doors and screaming. My neighbor had come out of his apartment and asked what was going on and I told him to call the ambulance because my friend was bleeding from his nose, I was so embarrassed. At the hospital I kept embarrassing myself crying and apologizing to my friend while we were in the waiting room.

His nose is broken, he keeps making Owen Wilson jokes slash impressions, but he is okay. Now, I am at my friend's house because I'm in my friend's house because I'm in the waiting room. afraid to go home. He said I can stay with him for as long as I need to. I feel really awful that my friend got his nose broken because I was a bad judge of character. I also feel really guilty that I got so scared I just kind of stood there and let my friend get hurt. My friend is taking me to the police station to file a report but I just want this whole thing to be over, but he is being insistent because I need to do this to ensure my safety. This is my first relationship and I don't even know if this person was real, I didn't think this was even possible to happen. I don't understand what I missed

and I feel like I'm vibrating inside because of how frightened I am. I want to go home to my apartment, but I'm afraid he will come back. The way my head is does not make any sense. I feel ashamed even writing all of this because it was from something so small and juvenile so I don't know I'm just handling it weird or my head at blowing it completely out of proportion. How do I proceed now, after I file a report. Has anyone been in this same situation before? How do people hide that kind of anger for over a year? Why did this happen? I'm sorry for the questions, but I just can't make sense of my own thoughts right now. Next story, living a second life with my ex and my lucid dreams for a year. After I confessed to my wife, she contacted my ex to expose me, but ex just told me she thinks my dreams

are sweet. I, M. 31, had been with my wife, F. 28, for three years. We had a short engagement, married quickly, and have a perfectly ordinary existence. I love her, she loves me. We do taxes, housework, watch movies. All the normal things. No physical cheating on either side as far as I know. But here's the thing. I am a lucid dreamer, which means I can. can, to an extent, control my dreams which is something I find cool as it allows me to go on adventures while asleep. It also makes scary dreams not so bad because I can just wake myself out of them. Over the last year or so I've been having a recurring dream about my ex, my first love, F-29. Truth be told I never got over her. We were together for five years from 1517 to 2022.

We broke up after I graduated from college because she didn't want to move from New York to South Carolina with me, which is where the biggest industry for my field is. I was crushed but moved on and we've spoken sporadically over the years although we never crossed any lines. I will admit that I've kept up with her own social media a bit but nothing stalkerish. Well a year ago she announced she was getting married and I experienced a resurgence of feelings for her, although I never acted on them or told her. That same night, I dreamed about her for the first time in years. In the dream she showed up at my door and asked me if I wanted to get coffee. I said yes of course. The dream, which was not a lucid dream, ended there.

It felt so real, I couldn't shake the feeling once I woke up. It felt like we were actually reconnecting. Since then I've dreamed about her several times a week and I've practiced becoming lucid so I've been able to control the outcome more times than not. We've lived a whole life together over the past year. Everything from dates to a trip to Paris together which we visited while in college. We even re-walked the same paths we did in real life. It got to the point I was looking forward to going to sleep to be with her.

Fast forward to today, my wife told me she felt distant from me. And I started to feel guilty because I thought what I was doing was harmless, but she's obviously noticed a change in me. So I confessed. About all of it. At first she that I was joking but when she realized I was serious, she accused me of cheating on her and told her mom and sisters who are calling me a cheating weirdo. She even threatened to tell my ex so she'll know what a fucking loser I am.

Now I get that it's not anything a woman would want to hear, but it's not like I physically cheated. I don't want to lose my wife, but I don't think she can forgive me. me for this. Comments where Op has replied, Soul Angelic, yeah, no, I think this might be a lost cause. I would certainly consider this cheating, and I think that it does indeed warrant a divorce. You clearly don't really love her at least, not as much as you love your ex. Boop, I do love my wife, which is why I married her. I just also have feelings for my ex, which I should have been honest about before we got married. I didn't mean for this to happen. but once it did I wasn't able to stop it.

Living that life with my ex while sleeping felt like getting to experience what I missed out on in young adulthood. With that said, my wife left overnight for a hotel and I don't know if she's coming back. I feel awful for hurting her. Tilda Elsobot, I'm asking this genuinely, not trying to be snarky at all, what did you think your wife's reaction was going to be? Did you expect what happened or did you think she would be more accepting? Boop, I knew she would be upset, but I felt I owed her an explanation once she communicated that do felt distant. I didn't want to gaslight her perception.

I just hadn't known that she even noticed a difference in me. I just didn't think she would leave. She's turned off her location I have no idea where she is or if she's all right and her family won't speak to me now. I do love her and would like for our marriage not to end, but that seems inevitable now as I process this. Update, two days ago, I posted about the fallout that occurred after I, 31, admitted to my wife, 28, that I've been lucid dreaming about my ex and first love, 29, over the past year. After a major blow-up, where my wife called me every name in the book, and got her family involved, which I understand completely so please don't take this wrong, my wife left.

I didn't know her whereabouts for over 24 hours. Early this morning about 3 a.m. she came home and told me she wanted to file for divorce. She didn't want to have to compete with a phantom and deserved better than a shitbag like me. But she doesn't want to move out or start the process because it's a pandemic and she doesn't want to live on one income. We make roughly the same amount of money, me 90,000 a year after taxes, and her 85,000. I tried to apologize to her for all the hurt I caused by making her feel like she was. wasn't enough, to assure her that I do love her even though I still love my ex and explain to her that I've never physically cheated or had any inappropriate conversation with my ex.

But she won't budge. She doesn't want me anymore. I can't blame her. I was selfish and I shouldn't have carried on what I now accept to be a one-sided emotional affair. So I agreed to stay together, for financial purposes, for two years, or until the pandemic is over, whichever comes first, but she's kicked me out of our bedroom and basically claimed the second floor for herself. There's so much tension in the house right now, so I left as soon as the sun came up and went to a coffee shop to do some work. While there, I received the message on IG from my ex that my ex-wife sent her a long message from her own account telling her about everything that I told her. I froze because I hadn't spoken to her in a long time. But she saw that I had read the message

and followed up an hour later, telling me she needed to know the truth. So, again, I confessed, expecting to be berated and called the loser again. Because I had nothing else to lose. But she didn't think that my dreams about her were weird or creepy. She thought it was sweet that I still loved her, especially with her knowing that I'd never tried to have inappropriate conversations or force my way into her life. I'm aware that her not condemning my actions don't make them right or take away from the hurt I caused my wife, but knowing she didn't think negatively of me made me feel better.

We messaged back and forth for a couple of hours, talking about our relationship and how it ended and the choices we made. In that, I learned that she and her fiancé called off their engagement a few months ago. I also told her my wife was going to divorce me because of the revelation. She expressed her condolences and that was the end of the conversation. I'm home now and I can't help but wonder if this is the universe's way of putting my ex and I back on the path to reconciliation. Hate me if you want, but I made a mistake and I hurt my wife and my marriage is over now. Or going to be. But knowing that the person I ruined my marriage over doesn't think I'm the scum of the earth is worth its weight in gold. I don't know what will happen now. But I can't

imagine a friendship with my ex won't blossom from this, at the very least. I know this won't make my wife happy since she contacted my ex to further shame me, but I may just not tell her. We are, after all, divorcing. I hope the next few months and years can result in healing for both my wife and myself, and that will both live happy, fulfilled lives. Partner requested approval from my distant relatives to wed me despite my instruction to avoid reaching out to them following their previous actions against me. B.F. and I have been together for about two years now. Well, he counts it as two years, but I only count about a year and a half because we were just friends with benefits for the first part. Not that it really matters

much for this situation, but it's just one of those little things we kind of joke argue about sometimes. He insists we were dating from the moment we first hooked up. I say it wasn't official until he actually asked me to be his girlfriend. He's my first serious relationship since my divorce. Yeah, I'm already divorced at 22, it's complicated and I'll get to that. Things have been mostly good between us. He's super sweet most of the time, thoughtful, has a good job, and gets along with a few friends I have. He's traditional in a lot of ways, very family-oriented, wants to do things properly, calls his parents like twice a week, spends holidays with his family, that kind of stuff. I should mention that I don't speak to my parents.

I haven't spoken to them since I was 16. I won't go into detail about why right now, but trust me when I say they're horrible people and me never speaking to them again is them getting off lightly. Seriously. The shit they did was awful and I've spent years trying to deal with it. I still have nightmares sometimes. When I was 16, I managed to get out by literally marrying my best friend, that's the legal age for marriage in our country.

He knew what was happening, saw all the shit first hand, and wanted to help me escape. We agreed that marriage was basically the only way I could legally get away without being dragged back home. I'd tried running away before and that didn't end well at all. We stayed married through college for financial reasons, easier to get loans and stuff that way, but divorced about five years later. We're still really good friends. I took his last name permanently to avoid any connection to my parents. Actually, he's the one who set me up with my current BF in the first place. When I first started dating my BF, I made it clear I didn't talk to my family. I didn't give details, just said we were estranged and I had my reasons. He seemed to

accept that and never pushed for more information, which I appreciated. He would occasionally mention his own family gatherings and invite me, but never made a big deal when I'd change the subject if he asked about my childhood or family stuff. I've wanted to tell him the full story for a while now, but it's really hard to talk about. Like, physically hard. Every time I tried, my throat would close up and I'd start panicking. My therapist, when I could still afford one, called it a trauma response. I'd planned to write it all down for him eventually, but kept putting it off.

I guess I was scared of how he'd react or that he wouldn't believe me. Or maybe I was just scared to relive it all again. So fast forward to a few months ago. My mom somehow found me on Facebook. I deleted my old account years ago, but made a new one back in November and completely forgot about privacy settings. She messaged me right before Christmas asking if her and dad could see me on Christmas Day. Just seeing her name pop up gave me a panic attack. I literally threw my phone across the room and had to take one of my anxiety pills to calm down.

My BF was there when it happened and saw me freaking out. He picked up my phone and asked what was wrong. I was still pretty out of it but managed to tell him it was my mother contacting me. This confused him since he knew I was estranged from my parents but didn't know details. I'd only ever said I don't speak to them and left it at that. He started asking questions, wanting to know why I was so upset over a simple message. I told him that she had found me somehow but I wasn't going to respond. I explained that I have my reasons for not speaking to.

them which I'm not ready to talk about yet, but I promised I'd tell him when I was ready. He seemed to understand and said that was good enough for him and he'd wait until I felt comfortable. I blocked her on Facebook, changed all my privacy settings, and tried to move on with my life. The whole thing did rattle me for a couple weeks after, I was jumpy and had trouble sleeping. My BF noticed but didn't push me to talk about it. He was actually really supportive, made me tea when I couldn't sleep, held me through a couple nights. that kind of thing. It made me feel like maybe I could eventually tell him everything. My BF and I moved and together about three months ago. Things have been good for the most part.

Last week he mentioned our anniversary was coming up and asked if I wanted to do something special. I was thinking maybe just a nice dinner at home, but he insisted on taking me out somewhere fancy. I agreed because he seemed excited about it and I figured it would be nice to get dressed up for once. So tonight was our second anniversary, or year and a half by my count, but whatever. He took me to this really fancy Italian place where we had our first official date. It's way out of our usual price range, but he said he'd been saving up for it. He was acting kind of nervous all night, checking his phone a lot, fidgeting with his silverware, that sort of thing. I thought maybe he was worried about the bill or something.

Everything was going great until dessert came and he suddenly got back. down on one knee next to the table. People around us started noticing and a few pulled out their phones to record, which I hate, but whatever. I was shocked but happy for like five seconds, until I actually processed what was happening and saw the ring. It was my nan's ring. I recognized it immediately. My nan was the only good person in my family, and she always told me she wanted me to have her ring someday. But she died when I was 14 and the ring went to my parents. I haven't seen it in over six years. I felt like someone had dumped ice water over me.

I just froze, staring at the ring while he was saying something about loving me and wanting to spend his life with me. I don't even remember his exact words because all I could think was how the fuck does he have my nan's ring? I asked him where he got it. That's when he told me he'd gone to see my parents. Apparently, when my mom messaged me back in December, he secretly wrote down her name and contact info. Then a few days later, he contacted her, saying he wanted to ask for their permission to marry me. He'd gone to their house, met them both, and they gave him my nan's ring to propose with. He said it like he was proud of himself for being so traditional and thoughtful.

I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach. He knew I was estranged from them. He knew I had serious reasons for not talking to them. He knew I'd promised to tell him when I was ready. but instead of respecting that, he went behind my back and fucking contacted them. I don't even remember exactly what I said. I know I was crying and probably yelling. People were staring.

I told him no and that I never wanted to see that ring again. He kept trying to explain but I couldn't even look at him. I left him there and took an Uber home. When I got back to our apartment, I started throwing his stuff into a suitcase. I wasn't even thinking clearly, just grabbing whatever I could find that belonged to he showed up about 20 minutes later trying to talk to me, saying I was overreacting and that he was just trying to do the right thing. I told him to take his shit and leave, that I needed space.

I didn't officially break up with him I don't think, but I told him to go stay with his sister for a while. He left eventually, still looking confused about what he'd done wrong. Now he won't stop calling and texting. His messages keep switching between apologizing, though it's clear he doesn't understand what he's apologizing for and telling me I'm being irrational. He says it was just a surprise and I'm ruining a special moment. His sister, who I'm actually friends with, is also messaging me asking what happened. She says he showed up at her place crying with a suitcase and won't tell her what's going

on except that I kicked him out. It's driving me crazy. I haven't responded to any of them because I don't know what to say. How do I explain this without having to tell the whole story? But maybe I have to tell the whole story now because of what he did. I knew he was traditional and family oriented, and I get that asking the parents for permission is part of that for him. But he knew this was the one thing I asked him to respect about me. He knew how upset I got just from seeing a message from my mom. He promised he would wait until I was ready to tell him about my parents. And instead, he went behind my back. He betrayed my trust in the worst possible way. Through his messages and voicemails, I can tell my parents fed him some bullshit story about me. His texts mention how they're actually

nice people and how they told him I ran away because they grounded me or some crap. He's talking about my dad walking me down the L someday and my parents meeting our future kids. It makes me physically sick to read that stuff. One of his messages said, they just want to reconcile. They're They miss you and want to be part of your life again," another said, everyone makes mistakes as parents. You can't hold a grudge forever. It's like he thinks he knows better than me about my own fucking life. The worst part is he told them all about my life now.

Where I work, what I do. He gave them information I've spent years hiding from them. Though thankfully he says he didn't give them my direct contact info or address. But still, they know what city I'm in now, what comes I work for. They could find me if they wanted to. I feel so betrayed. He's known me for two years. He knows I'm not some unstable person who makes shit up. But after one meeting with my parents, he's convinced himself that I'm the one lying or exaggerating. I love him. Or I did. I don't know anymore. Just this morning I was thinking about our future together, and now everything feels tainted.

I love my nan and having her ring would have meant so much to me under different circumstances. But knowing how he got it just makes it feel wrong. I don't even know if I'm being clear here. My thoughts are all jumbled up. I've been typing and deleting and retyping for hours. I keep thinking maybe I'm overreacting. But then I remember what my parents did, and I know I'm not. What he did was a massive violation of trust.

Please help me figure this out. I need someone to put things in perspective or just give me some advice. Normally I'd talk to a therapist about this kind of stuff, but it's the middle of the night and I haven't been to therapy in years. I know this is long and probably a mess, but I'm not thinking clearly right now. Thanks for reading if you made it this far. Any advice would be appreciated. Edit for clarification. Some people in the messages are assuming I never told him anything.

about my family situation. I did tell him I was estranged from them, that it was for serious reasons, and that I would explain when I was ready. He agreed to wait. That's what makes this so much worse. He knew enough to know it was a big deal. He just decided his tradition was more important than my boundaries. Edit 2, a lot of you are telling me I need to just tell him what happened. I know that. I've been trying. It's not as simple as just spitting it out. When you go through certain kinds of trauma, especially as a kid, talking about it can literally trigger panic attacks. I'm not being dramatic. I'm not withholding the info to be manipulative.

I physically struggle to say the words. That's why I was writing it down for him instead. Edit 3. To those saying I'm overreacting, you have no idea what my parents did to me. If you knew, you wouldn't be saying that. And no, I'm not going to share those details here. The fact that I got married at 16 just to escape them should give you some idea of how bad it was. Update, four people saying I need to communicate better, yeah, no shit. I get that I should have told him everything sooner.

Not being able to talk about trauma isn't an excuse, but it is a reason. Anyway, a lot has happened in the last few days, so here's what went down. After I made my post, I spent most of the night just crying and reading all his texts. I didn't reply to any of them because I knew I wasn't in the right headspace. The next morning, I called out sick from work because I still couldn't stop crying. My BF tried to come by the apartment, but I didn't answer the door. He left flowers in a note saying he was sorry for surprising me but that he still didn't understand why I was so upset.

I decided I had to tell him everything. If only so he'd understand why I reacted the way I did. I wasn't sure I could do it face to face without breaking down, so I thought about having someone else there for support. I called my ex-husband, the one who helped me escape, because he was there for everything and knows the whole story. I figured if I froze up, he could help explain. When I called him, I found out something interesting. My ex told me that my BF had actually asked him about my parents about six months ago. My ex had told him it was up to me to tell him when I was ready, and my BF had said he understood and would wait. My ex didn't tell me about this conversation

at the time because I just asked my BF to move in with me and he didn't want to ruin that for me. He apologized for keeping it for me and promised not to do that again. This made me even more upset because it meant my BF had been thinking about contacting my parents for months. It wasn't just an impulsive decision after seeing that Facebook message. He'd been planning this behind my back for a long time. My ex came over the next day and we talked for hours about what to do. He was pretty pissed at my BF and offered to just tell him to fuck off permanently on my behalf, but I said no. I figured my BF deserved to at least know why I was so upset, even if we couldn't fix things between us.

So I asked my ex to stay while I talked to my BF, and he agreed. I texted my BF asking him to come over so we could talk. He replied almost immediately saying he'd be right there. When he arrived and saw my ex sitting in our living room, he got really pissy and asked why he was there. I explained he was there for emotional support while I told him what happened with my parents. My BF wasn't happy about it but sat down anyway, though he kept glaring at my ex like he was the problem. I took a deep breath and started by saying exactly what my parents did to me in the bluntest way possible. I won't write it here, but trust me, it was bad.

before I could even finish explaining everything, my BF interrupted me saying, They told me you'd lie. He actually fucking said that to my face after I just opened up about the worst experiences of my life. My ex told him to watch how he was speaking to me, and my BF said he'd speak to me however he wants and told my ex to stay out of it. Then he turned back to me and told me he knew the truth and implied I should be grateful he stayed with me despite my issues. According to him, my parents said I was mentally unstable, refused to see doctors, and got caught breaking the law as a teenager. They supposedly grounded me and I ran away rather than face consequences. It's complete bullshit. I've never been arrested or in legal trouble in my life.

I've been in therapy multiple times when I could afford it. My parents were the unstable ones. but he was so convinced by whatever story they fed him that he wouldn't even listen to me. I started crying again, and my ex stood up and told my BF he had 30 minutes to pack his stuff and get out, and if he said another word to me his time went to zero. My BF looked like he was going to argue but then just stormed off to the bedroom and started throwing his stuff in bags. He packed up and left without another word to either of us. After he left, my ex stayed with me for a while to make sure I was okay.

I was a mess, obviously. I thought this person loved me and would believe me, but instead he chose to believe my abusers after one meeting with them. My BF, XBF now I guess, texted me later that night saying he was sorry for how things went down, but he still thinks I'm not remembering things correctly about my childhood. He said my parents seemed genuinely nice and concerned about me, and that I should consider healing the relationship with them.

He actually had the nerve to say he was just trying to help me by bringing them back into my life. I didn't respond. The next day, I checked my work voicemail and found out my mother had called their asking for me. Apparently they tried to come by, but I wasn't in. My boss thought it was weird but took a message. This means my ex-BF definitely gave them

enough information to find my workplace. So to recap, my ex-BF knew I haven't spoken to my parents in a decade, that I got married at 16 to escape them, that I still have nightmares about what happened, and that I would tell them when I was ready. Despite all that, within days of my mom contacting me, he sought them out and asked permission to marry me based on his gut feeling about them from a few text messages. He believed their lies about me over everything he knew about me from our relationship, and he gave them information about me including my full name, job, workplace.

I'm scared now that they're going to keep trying to find me, especially since my ex-BF has probably told them we broke up. My ex-husband has offered to stay with me for a while just in case, which I've accepted. I'm looking into whether I have grounds for a restraining order, and I'm also thinking about moving and changing jobs. I just started to feel settled and safe in this city, and now that's all ruined. My ex-BF sister reached out to me too. She was horrified when I told her what happened, not the details about my parents, just that he went behind my back to meet them when he knew I was estranged for serious reasons. She apologized for her brother and said she would have never thought he'd do something like that. She offered to help if I need anything,

which was nice of her. I've been staying home from work for a few days, just trying to process everything. My boss thinks I have the flu. I need to go back tomorrow though because I can't afford to lose my job on top of everything else. I'm going to talk to HR about not accepting calls from my parents and maybe changing my extension. I still can't believe this happened. I trusted him. I loved him. I thought he loved me too. But when it came down to it, he didn't respect me enough to believe me about my own life. He thought he knew better than me about my own family. He betrayed me in the worst possible way. Sorry if this all sounds dramatic. It's been a really fucking awful week. I just wanted to update because so many people asked for one. I guess the situation is resolved and that we're

definitely broken up, but now I have new problems to deal with. I'll update again if anything major happens, but for now I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. Thanks again to everyone who offered advice. Edit to the update. A few people asked about the ring. He still has it as far as I know. At this point I don't even want it anymore. It would just remind me about. It would just remind me all this. I know my nan wanted me to have it, but I think she'd understand. Edit 2. To the people sending me DMs asking for details about what my parents did, please stop. I'm not going to share that with strangers on the internet. It's traumatic and private. The point is that it was bad enough to warrant cutting contact permanently. Edit 3. My ex-husband

is just a friend now, so stop with the comments suggesting something is going on between us. He's literally engaged to someone else. He's helping because he's a good person who went through all this with me the first time around. Not everyone has ulterior motives. Edit 4. Some have asked why I don't just move cities again. It's not that simple. I have a decent job here.

I can't afford to just pick up and leave. Finding a new job, new apartment, etc. takes time and money. I'm figuring it out, but it's not an over. overnight thing. Final edit for now, I have an appointment with a lawyer next week about the restraining order situation. I'll update if there's any significant development, but I'm going to step away from this post for my own mental health. Thanks for all the support and advice. Close friend boasted about deceiving her spouse for a job advancement, then her romantic partner who she boasted about parted ways with her and she was terminated from her position when I revealed

her actions. My soon-to-be ex-best friend and I have been friends since middle school. We know everything about each other. Our families are basically one big family now. You get the idea. Like I said, we tell each other everything. Recently, she came to me telling me she's been having an affair for about four months with her superior at her new job. She started about a year ago. She told me, not out of guilt, but to brag about the dream vacation she's going on with her AP, disguised as a work trip. She asked me to cover for her if her husband asked. She asked me to cover for her if her husband if we've been in contact, because she's planning on going black for that week so he would have no way of finding out. Side note, we've both known her husband since high school. They are high school

lovers, so they've been together for almost 15 years. Her husband is one of the most honest, hardworking genuine people I know. He, of course, took everything she said about working late and the business trip at face value because he trusts her more than he trusts himself. I told her I would not be covering for her and to get out of my house, because I couldn't even look at her right now. Later, I told my husband everything that happened, and he was just as shocked and disgusted. Her husband is basically his best friend now, so he of course has a lot of loyalty to him as well. My husband pointed out something I didn't even think of. Our security camera. It caught everything. We plan on going to her husband tonight with the proof.

It will be up to him to do what he wishes with it. But he deserves to know. Secondly, we're taking this to her job. As far as I know, fraternization of any kind is prohibited at her workplace. She was also promoted once by this same supervisor, so this could be seen as favoritism. Our guess is that they will both be fired. Finally, I'm going to send a snippet of her admitting the affair to all of her family, including mine. As I said, our families are very very very.

very intertwined, so I will easily be able to contact the majority of her family. I'm not going to give her a chance to spin this against me or her husband. Some may think this is harsh, but I wholeheartedly disagree with that she's doing. Small update, everyone involved, Alyssa equals best friend, Noah equals BFF's hub. I decided to take the advice of a few people and reach out to Alyssa before I went to her husband. I recorded the conversation and let her know I was for my safety. She seemed still extremely nonchalant about the whole thing. I told her I was worried for her, and even for her, this was very out-of-character behavior. Long story short, she's felt very weak and unbalanced in her and Noah's marriage. For context, Noah went to a trade

school and makes very good money, while up until her promotion, Alyssa was making slightly more than minimum wage. She has recently been reading up on some anti-traditional values, and and the women in those forums attacked her for making less than her husband. She then explained that she noticed her supervisor was trying to flirt with her, and her internet friends told her to run with it, and use him to get higher up. She of course did, but admitted she'd become emotionally attached to him as well. All in all, she admitted she doesn't really regret the affair, because it helped with her career and she found love.

I told her she had the option to tell Noah the truth before me, but hubby and I were coming over tonight with the video of her admitting the affair, so she wouldn't be able to sway it in her favor. Again, she very nonchalantly said him. Okay and hung up on me. I'd quote the heck is going on. I can't tell if she's having some sort of psychosis, or she's literally just so detached from her marriage,

that she doesn't care what happens. Hubby and I still plan on going to Noah tonight, but I'm honestly intrigued to see that she says to him, if she says anything at all. Update 1, apologize for not having time last night. We were obviously busy. People involved, X Besti equals Alyssa, Besti's Hub equals Noah I took a lot of people's advice,

and decided not to go nuclear. As many people said, at the end of the day, it's not my circus. The decision should be left up to the wrong party, and that is Noah. I also decided to reach out to Alyssa before telling Noah, and decided to give her a chance to confess to Noah herself. After I talked to her, I was legit thinking about reaching out to her parents about medical help,

because she was so unbothered and so not remorseful about the affair, that I thought she was having some sort of mental break or psychosis. Yeah, Alyssa's always been the kind to find loopholes or ways ahead, but cheating on your spouse of almost two decades for financial gain? It's not normal. If you didn't see my small update, the whole reason Alyssa started the affair was to get the promotion at work. It evolved into an emotional affair eventually, though.

She admitted that her new friends from some feminism forums and Facebook groups told her she wasn't as valuable if she was making significantly less than her spouse. Something I learned she's been more insecure about than she's been telling people. They also told her that using a man isn't cheating as long as there's no emotional attachment, she's just being a girl boss. She admitted she couldn't separate her feelings from the intimate. aspect, and started going on regular dates and vacations, and eventually they started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend. The AP knows she's married, but was told they were on the

verge of separation. My hubby and I arrived at Noah and Alyssa's with some booze and some dinner, and by the time we were there, Noah had already gone through a bottle of wine. Surprisingly, Alyssa did confess to Noah about the affair. He told us it was extremely non-apologetic, though. She sat him down and told him that she wasn't going on a business trip this week. She was going on a vacation with her boyfriend. Noah, being the clueless and loyal person he is, thought he meant to say husband, and was so excited. He asked if they're going to Italy like that planned for, and Alyssa just stared at him. She repeated with my boyfriend. It took a few minutes, but it finally sunk in. He told us it wasn't pretty after that, and said he embarrassingly got on

his knees and begged her to fix everything. She yelled for a bit, but then just stonewalled him again. She was already packed to leave, and just left him there sobbing. She turned off her location, which both Noah and I were a part of her family on the app, and we have no idea where she went. We assume she went to her AP's house, because if she had gone home with two suitcases, her mother would have reached out to Noah immediately. She sees him as a son. We sat down with Noah, and said we had video and audio proof of Alyssa exposing and explaining the affair, and we will send them to him in case he needs them. I explained to him that in a moment of blind rage, I was planning on going scorched earth and telling everyone, but once I calmed down and looked at this rationally,

I realized that wasn't the right thing to do. The only person going full nuclear would hurt was him, because Alyssa obviously doesn't care anymore. As I suspected, the idea of reconciliation is still on his mind, but he doesn't see it happening. In order to reconcile, both parties must admit fault and want to reconcile, Alyssa clearly doesn't. We've gotten him in contact with a friend of my hubby, whose agrees to help him pro bono until the divorce shows results. I can tell he's still hesitant about going forward with divorce, but he knows he also can't force Alyssa to stay. As comments have suggested, this is where we bow out. We're obviously going to continue to support Noah, but it's not situation to handle. It's his. If there's any future updates, I'll OFC ask Noah first,

but you'll be the second to know. Thanks for being so supportive and helpful. It made me realize that how Noah handles his life and his marriage is his responsibility, not mine. Update 2, well, I didn't expect to be back so soon, but the last week has been basically a speed run of terrible events. This will probably be my last update, so feel free to consider. this the conclusion of the events. Everything bad that could have happened, happened. The past two days specifically have been absolutely horrible. Sorry if this is all over the place, I'm still all over the place. So, I'd give it was the day she left, or the day after, but Alyssa and AP went on their vacation. The only reason I know of because she posted

pictures all over social media of her and AP, she had absolutely no shame. It was very clear that even if she wasn't divorced, this was her new boyfriend, which of course notified her family of the issues. Noah's phone was blowing up with apologies, accusations, everything you could think of. Noah, being the people-pleaser he is, decided to tell her family they were on a mutual break instead of telling everybody she cheated and that was the AP. Alissa's mom, fortunately, didn't believe him, and came to me. I didn't hold back, I told her that she's been cheating on Noah for months. and that she recently bragged to me about her sugar daddy AP, and that's the only reason she's come clean to Noah.

Alyssa's mom then dropped a bomb on me that even I didn't know, Alyssa is a serial cheater. Her mom said in high school, Alyssa would bring boys home under the guise of school projects or sports-related things, but she caught Alyssa kissing two different boys. Keep in mind, she was dating Noah all this time. She said she didn't think much of it, and just chalked it up to being a crazy horn.

hormonal teenager. She also said she never expected her to marry her high school boyfriend, and by the time they were married, she figured Alyssa had stopped doing all this stuff. Neither her nor I have no idea if she's done anything like that since high school through to the present, but I'm not interested in digging further into it. This just explains why Alyssa was just so nonchalant about cheating, because apparently she has just always done it. I'm guessing her girl boss friends awoke something inside her, and she remembered how easily and nonchalantly she would cheat, and it inspired to just do it again? I don't know. I'll be honest, I kind of yelled at her mother, something I'm not proud of. Like I've said in previous posts, Alyssa's mom is basically my mom,

so formalities and everything aren't something I think about when I talk to her. So I freaked out and told her she set Noah up for this kind of life, when he could have found somebody ten times better. She took it like a champ, and just let me vent until I was calm again. I apologized for yelling, but calmly said you and I both know Noah deserved better. You should have said something before he got married to her. She agreed, but said it's too late now to focus on that, and that the real issue at this time was supporting Noah. I told her if she wanted to support Noah, she could have told him his fiancé was a cheater ten years ago,

and hung up on her. I've since talked to her, we're fine, but I was just a mad aher in the moment. Next thing that happened was that the photos got back to a colleague, and both of them were out of job before their vacation was even over. As I assumed, their workplace was extremely upset, and did consider Alyssa getting the promotion favoritism, and they were both let go. Noah told me there was at least three HR complaints about them, so it was a no-brainer. Of course, the beautiful relationship Alyssa and her age.

AP had turned sour as soon as he learned he was let go from his six-figure job because of her. He was so pissed, he even canceled Alyssa's plane ticket home out of spite, and planned to leave her stranded there. This is where all of you will be disappointed, and so am I, but Noah immediately forgave her, bought her a ticket, and moved her back in. She told him this was just a huge mistake, and seeing how her AP treated her made her realize what she could have lost. It's obviously all BS to me and hubby, but you already know Noah ate that shit up. He's told us that he's urging her to go to couples counseling, but OFC it's not an ultimatum. So basically she just got to have her cake and eat it with no consequences. We told Noah previously,

and reminded him that if he decided to take Alyssa back, we'd be going at the very least low contact. We kept to our word, and have completely blocked Alyssa, and have Noah unblocked. but don't plan to engage in small talk to invitations to stuff. We refuse to be like him and just act like this never happened, because that's not normal. He understood, but told us he has to stand by the vows he made to his wife, which we both understand to an extent, and wished him well. So yep, Alyssa got to sleep with another man, go on a nice vacation, lose her job, and still gets a bed and a husband to come home to.

All's well that ends well. Edek how to feel about this? Like if they want to live their fucked up broken marriage life, that's their choice. I'm not even mad anymore, just drained. I'm almost glad it's over now, because I don't know if I could deal with this for months on end. I knew this was going to happen eventually, it's just who Noah is, but it feels just as idiotic as it sounds. I'd come just rambling at this point. I'm glad we decided to step back, because honestly, both of them have very clear psychological issues that need

to be addressed with a professional, but neither of them will ever do that. I'd rather be rid of people like this. Sorry if I'm being blunt or mean, but at the end of the day, both of them have issues I didn't sign up to deal with. I don't need this kind of stress while Hubby and I are trying for kids. So yeah, I guess this is it. Yep. Update 3. It's been about a month since I last posted. I wasn't planning on updating, but the most hilarious thing happened with Alyssa and Noah, I needed to tell something. Bear with me, this is all through the grapevine, BC Hub and I are still in C with them. So first off, Noah has rewarded Alyssa's cheating with another vacation. They're planning on going to Italy for their vow renewal. Their plan is to basically start over

their marriage, even though they've been together for 15 plus years. NGL, I burst out laughing when I was told this. I just think it's so hilarious that they're both going to sweep this under the rug and try to act like their life didn't implode. But hey, if it makes them happy, who am I to stop them? The second thing is they've decided to try for a baby. One thing Alyssa and I always bonded over was being conservatives who wanted to be child-free. Neither of us just felt like we would be good mothers. Of course, since we live in a largely conservative community with conservative families, we were always basically bullied into changing our mind. But we had each other, that's the important part. Once I met my husband, I had kind of changed my mind about kids,

which we are also currently trying for, but Alyssa never swayed. The last conversation we had about her family pressuring her into kids was about two months ago, a week or two before the cheating incident. Not only do I think this is a terrible idea because the baby is going to grow up in a dysfunctional family, I guarantee Alyssa won't love this child. I honestly just feel pity for everyone involved now. Noah for thinking his life has to be staying with a cheater, Alyssa for basically forcing herself to live a life she doesn't want to live, and their future child for being born into this cluster fuck. But yeah, consider this the official end. Maybe I'll be back in a year or two when it turns out Noah has been raising another man's baby next story.

Wife and I adopted our daughter's baby, now she's pregnant too, and I just found out her father is actually my brother who got her pregnant when they were extremely young. So me, 53M, and my wife Rose, 53F, had our older daughter Sarah, 31F, when we were 22. We were young and broke, but managed, and now we raised Sarah the best we could. She got pregnant at 15. It was a very depressing time for her, she had to go to therapy, and never told us anything about the father, which always upset her, so we never pushed the issue. She originally wanted to terminate, but kept canceling, and eventually told us she wanted to give her up for adoption. But five months into the pregnancy, when she was discussing with a social worker for a couple to adopt, the couple dropped out of the adoption.

After trying to find more couples, Sarah asked us if we wanted to adopt. Me and Rose were both 38 at this point, and we had both been discussing having another child, so we ended up adopting our daughter Ellie when Sarah had her at 16. Two years after Ellie, me and my wife had our son Logan, 13, biologically. Growing up we always planned on telling Ellie she was adopted, but we knew with telling her that we had to tell her Sarah was her bio-mother. Sarah never became close with Ellie, not even as C-Tiers. She moved out after the birth and lived with Rose's sister.

She has always shown sisterly love to her Logan, but never towards Ellie. There has always been conflicting feelings with Sarah. I have seen posts on Sarah's Instagram where she posted a picture of what was supposed to be the five of us, but Ellie was cut out. I confronted her about this and she says it's too painful. However, a couple years ago she showed up drunk begging us to let us see her daughter. We talked to her and let her stay. but did not let her near Ellie since she was drunk. We found out from her husband she had suffered several miscarriages

and was told to consider a surrogate. She ended up doing that four years ago and has since had twins Jack and Jill, 3M and F, who are biologically hers. Ellie has loved being an aunt to the twins and Sarah has encouraged this with Ellie, and has been inviting Ellie over her house for family time with Logan, who loves being an uncle. We have asked Sarah that in light of the twins, and Ellie being close to them, wouldn't it be time to tell Ellie the truth, but Sarah keeps claiming

she is not ready. Recently Ellie came to us and has told us she is pregnant. This time it is a completely different situation. We have met the father. He is a childhood friend of hers and they decided they wanted to lost their virginities to each other. We had the talk with Ellie long ago, as we did with Sarah. We approached the situation calmly and have since met with the father and his parents. Ellie is insistent on keeping the baby. She is three months along. We have not told Sarah yet, we do not know how to approach the situation, we don't know how she will be able to take it. Me and my wife are considering telling Ellie the truth, but we need Sarah to be there. Update, so I decided to write in an update as I'm still getting messages on this account.

First, I want to address the main issue. I was wondering about advice on what to do after finding about my daughter Ellie 15 is pregnant, but that we had the exact same situation with her older sister Sarah 31, who is actually Ellie's biological mother. Well, I decided to just focus on helping out Ellie, who is four months pregnant. We didn't want to stress her out by telling her about the adoption yet. In fact, we know we should have already told her a long time ago, despite Sarah's emotions on the matter. It's not like we even knew the details on Ellie's father, so that would have been Sarah's talk. But we as Ellie's parents still should have told her the truth when she was younger.

A week after I made the post-Elly told family about the pregnancy. She had since told my parents, her boyfriend's grandparents, and then of course, she has told Sarah. Sarah didn't react well, but told her she would support her. Of course, Sarah reached out to us after very upset, but said she was ready to talk to Ellie first about the adoption with us. and she said that she wanted to tell Ellie about her father alone. We sat down and had the discussion.

Ellie was of course upset, but calmed down after a while. She of course had questions about her father. Sarah had that discussion with her. At the time, I didn't know what she was told, and it was none of our business. But Ellie told us she knows who he is and said she didn't want to reach out. So we moved on after that. The other day, I got a call from my sister-in-law Renee, 31F, my brother's wife. She was angry and was asking what kind of sick ideas was Sarah putting in Ellie's head.

She started mentioning stuff about Ellie's adoption, so after I got her to calm down she told me what happened. She claimed that Ellie had messaged my brother Ethan, 32, and told him about the adoption and wanted to talk to him. This confused me because me and Ethan don't talk much, we were never really close because we are 21 years apart. He was my mother's late child and he always got along with mine and our sister's kids as they were all around the same age, and Ellie only saw him on the holidays. So telling him about the details in her life didn't make sense. Renée explained to me that Ellie claimed that Ethan was her father because that is what Sarah had told her and told him that he was going to be a grandpa. I had to sit down for a while. I called Sarah and we had a long conversation.

She told me that yes, it was true that Ethan is Ellie's biological father. Sarah and Ethan were close when they were young, they were only eight months apart. Sarah says that when they went thought puberty feelings changed and that every time she went to her grandmothers, they would hide away from everyone and have their own time. Sarah was upset talking about this, but told me that he never assaulted her and that it was always consensual. She never wanted to tell me because she was ashamed of the fact that the father of her baby was her uncle. I have since talked to Ethan as well.

He denied it to Ellie over text but told me that it was true. We exchanged a few words back and forth, even if this was consensual, how could he sleep with his own niece? He had all these, but I wasn't hearing it. He knew of the pregnancy and being Ellie's father the whole time, and he never even bothered to step up to say anything. I have talked to Ellie about it, she says she was upset when she found out, but she always thought she looked like my stepdad's side of the family. It upset me when she mentioned that

because honestly I see it, it's pretty obvious now. I always knew that Ellie favored whoever her father was because she didn't look like anyone on our side, but I never suspected my mother and stepdad have found out and Ethan told Renee it was true. She is left with their kids to stay with her family. Ethan has tried to reach out to Ellie now, but I don't want her speaking to him. I'm still her father and I don't think she is safe being in touch with him. Ellie has shown no interest in talking. I asked her why she reached out to him before talking to Sarah or us about it, and she said she just wanted to know his side of the story, but feels betrayed for being

lied to. Sibling arranged a false celebration on my marriage day, and my guardians decided to participate until my elder warned to disinherit them. My sibling, 28F, and I, 26F, have always had a strained relationship. Our parents have consistently favored her since we were kids, she got the bigger bedroom, newer clothes, and more attention at every milestone. I learned to live with it, focusing on building my own life instead of competing for their approval. My fiancé proposed last January, and we set our wedding date for June 15th this year. We since saved the dates in August and formal invitations in February.

Everyone in the family are SVPed, including my parents and sister. We put down non-refundable deposits for the venue, catering, photographer, DJ, and flowers. Everything was set. Last month, out of nowhere, my sister announced she was planning a second anniversary party on June 15th. I was confused since her wedding anniversary is in August. When I called to ask about the conflict with my wedding date, I expected an apology for the mix-up.

Instead, she snapped at me saying, well, it's not like. it's a big deal. You can just move your date. I was stunned. I calmly explained that we had already paid thousands in deposits and sent invitations months ago. All our vendors were booked and changing the date would mean losing all that money, not to mention the chaos of trying to reschedule everything with just weeks to go. She responded by hanging up on me. I thought surely my parents would see how ridiculous this was, so I called them expecting support. Instead, my mom immediately sided with my sister, saying, it's just one day for you, but this is an important milestone for Olivia. When I pointed out it wasn't even her real anniversary date, my dad

jumped in and said my sister's celebrations take priority because she puts effort into maintaining relationships, implying I don't. The conversation got worse from there. They confirmed they were planning to attend her fake anniversary party instead of my wedding. My dad said he had already told Olivia they would be there, and it would be unfair to change plans now, completely ignoring that they had RSVP to my wedding months ago. I hung up the phone in tears and couldn't believe what was happening. That night, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about how my own parents were choosing to skip my wedding for a party that didn't even need to happen on that specific day. My fiancé suggested I talked to someone else in the family who might be able to reason with them. I called my grandpa Earl, 75M, the next

morning. He's always been supportive of me, even while dealing with his own health issues. He had a heart attack last year and has been careful about travel, but had already confirmed he would attend our wedding despite it being a three-hour drive from his home. When I told Grandpa Earl what happened, he was furious. He couldn't understand why my sister would schedule her party on my wedding day or why my parents would choose to attend it instead. He promised he would be at my wedding no matter what and said he would talk to my parents about their decision. During our conversation, he mentioned something I never knew. He had accumulated significant wealth over the years from smart investments and property holdings. He told me he was planning to leave substantial

inheritances to my parents, sister and me. He was so disgusted by their behavior that he said he might reconsider his will. I told him that wasn't necessary and that I was just grateful for his support. For days after my conversation with Grandpa Earl, I received a call from my mother. Her tone was completely different from our previous conversation. She said they had reconsidered and would be attending my wedding after all. She made it sound like they were doing me a huge favor, saying, family should stick together for important events. There was no apology for their previous decision or acknowledgement of how hurtful it had been.

Later that same day, my sister called to say she was postpone. her anniversary party. She claimed it was because some friends couldn't make it, not because it conflicted with my wedding. Again, no apology, no admission that scheduling a fake anniversary party on my wedding day was inappropriate. Neither of them mentioned anything about Grandpa Earl or any inheritance. Something felt off about their sudden change of heart. The next time I spoke with Grandpa Earl, I asked if he had said anything to them. He admitted he had called my father and mentioned he was reconsidering his will after hearing how they treated me. That's when everything clicked, they only changed their minds about attending my wedding because they were worried about

losing their inheritance, not because they actually cared about me or realized they were wrong. I was beyond hurt. I spent the night talking it over with my fiancé, who was equally disgusted by their behavior. The next morning, I called my parents and told them not to bother coming to the wedding since I knew their sudden change of heart was only about money. My dad immediately accused me of being dramatic, while my mom started crying. She claimed I was misinterpreting their intentions and that they always planned to attend my wedding, despite explicitly telling me otherwise just days earlier. My sister sent me a text saying,

You've always been jealous of me. Stop being such a worthless burden to everyone who has to deal with your pathetic insecurities. This was the final straw. I blocked her number immediately. Within hours, extended feelings. family members started messaging me. It became clear that my parents were telling everyone I'd ban them from my wedding out of spite and jealousy without explaining the full story. My fiancé supports whatever decision I make, but with all the family pressure, I'm starting to

doubt myself. Part of me wants to just let them come to avoid more drama, but another part feels like I'd be letting them walk all over me again. They've shown they only care about the money, not about being there for me on one of the most important days of my life. Ida for refusing to let my family attend my wedding after finding out they only changed their minds because of potential inheritance issues? Update 1. It's been two weeks since my original post, and I want to thank everyone for their comments and support. I need to address some misunderstandings I've seen in the comments. No, I don't want my grandfather's money. I never even knew he had significant savings until this situation happened. I have a good job and my fiancé also has a better job, where financially stated.

on our own. For those asking why my sister would deliberately schedule her party on my wedding day, honestly, this kind of thing has happened before. She scheduled her college graduation party on my birthday, planned a family trip during my high school graduation week, and announced her engagement at my engagement party. My parents always made excuses for her behavior, saying she was excited or didn't realize the conflict, but this wedding situation was the most blatant example yet. After posting here, the situation got even worse. My family bombarded me with messages and calls. My mother called crying every day, sometimes multiple times.

She would start the conversation normally, then break down sobbing about how I was breaking her heart. These calls would last for hours if I didn't find an excuse to hang up. My sister sent increasingly hostile texts. I was shocked at how nasty she was being and couldn't understand why. she was so angry when she was the one who tried to sabotage my wedding. Even my future mother-in-law, who had previously stayed out of family drama, received calls from my mother trying to get her to talk some sense into me. Thankfully, my fiancé's family has been incredibly supportive and didn't pressure me either way. The stress was taking a physical toll. I wasn't sleeping, couldn't focus at work,

and started having anxiety attacks whenever my phone rang. My boss noticed my performance slipping and into his office to ask if everything was okay. I had to explain that I was dealing with family issues related to my upcoming wedding. He was sympathetic but reminded me that I needed to keep up with my workload. After a particularly bad night where I couldn't sleep at all, my fiancé found me crying in the bathroom at 3 a.m. He suggested that maybe letting them attend the wedding would at least stop the harassment, and we could keep our distance from them during the event. As much as I hated to admit it, he had a point. The wedding was less than a week away, and I couldn't handle the stress anymore.

So, against my better judgment, I called my parents the next day and told them they could attend the wedding. I made it clear that this didn't mean I was okay with how they had treated me, but that I wanted the harassment to stop and was hoping we could at least keep things civil for one day. When I called to tell them, my mother immediately stopped crying and said, Well, I'm glad you finally came to your senses. My father simply said, good. That's what families do. My sister didn't even bother to respond to my text letting her know she could attend. It was like they felt entitled to be there all along, despite initially choosing to skip it. I spent the days leading up to the wedding focusing on

last-minute details and trying to prepare myself mentally for seeing my family. My bridesmaids, who knew the situation, promised to run interference if things got tense. My maid of honor even created a signal we could use if I needed rescue from a conversation with my family. On the wedding day itself, I woke up with a mixture of excitement about marrying the love of my life and dread about facing my family. My bridesmaids arrived early to help with hair and makeup, bringing champagne and breakfast to start the day on a positive note. They kept me laughing and distracted as we got ready. My mother arrived at the bridal suite just as we were finishing makeup. She immediately started criticizing the hairstylist's work and suggested I should have chosen

a different style. My maid of honor smoothly intervened, saying the photographer wanted to take some pre-ceremony shots of just me and the bridesmaids, effectively ushering my mother out of the room. The ceremony itself was beautiful despite the tension. I focused on my fiancé's face as I walked down the aisle, barely registering my father beside me. We had decided to have him walk me down the aisle to avoid creating more drama, but we didn't include the traditional who gives this woman part in the ceremony. Grandpa Earl sat in the front row, having insisted on coming despite his doctor strongly advising against travel due to his heart condition. Seeing him there, smiling proudly, helped me get through the ceremony without thinking about my parents and sisters' true

motivations for attending. At the reception, I couldn't help but notice my parents and sister hovering around Grandpa Earl whenever he was alone. They kept bringing him drinks, showing him photos on their phones, and being uncharacteristically attentive while barely acknowledging me except when other guests were watching. It was so obvious what they were doing that several guests commented on it to me later. My father made a brief toast that focused more on family unity and forgiveness than on celebrating our marriage. It felt like a public relations move rather than a genuine expression of happiness for us. My sister sat at her table looking bored and checking her phone throughout the speeches. I spent the evening focusing on my new husband,

our friends, and Grandpa Earl. Whenever possible, I sat with my grandfather, who told stories about his youth and gave marriage advice that made us laugh and tear up. Those moments were the highlight of my reception. He stayed longer than expected despite his health concerns, saying he wouldn't miss celebrating with his favorite granddaughter for anything in the world. We left for our honeymoon the next day, a two-week trip to Hawaii that we had been planning and saving for since our engagement. Being away from all the family drama was exactly what we needed. A week after returning from our honeymoon, my mother called to check in. After brief small talk about the wedding and honeymoon, she got to the real reason for her call. Your grandfather seemed a bit cold toward us at the wedding.

I was wondering if you could talk to him. You know, put in a good word for us. I decided to be direct. Are you asking me to convince Grandpa Earl not to cut you out of his will? She paused before saying, well, we did come to your wedding like you wanted. I think you owe us that much. I reminded her they only attended to protect their inheritance after initially choosing my sister's fake anniversary party. I told her I wasn't going to help them manipulate her. She hung up without responding. My father called next, immediately aggressive, after everything we've done for you, this is how you repay us? By turning your grandfather against us? When I pointed out their lifelong favoritism of my sister, he exploded and cut the call.

My sister's text was simple, you're a selfish bitch. If we lose our inheritance because of you, you'll regret it. I blocked all their numbers after that. I had unblocked my sister a few days before the wedding. My husband has been incredibly supportive, reminding me that I don't owe them after how they've treated me. We agreed to take some time to process everything before deciding on next steps regarding my family. Update 2, it's been a month since my last update. Several commenters asked why I hadn't cut contact with my family sooner. The truth is I kept hoping things would improve, that they'd realize how they were treating me. It's harder to let go of family than you might think, even when they consistently hurt you. There were good moments mixed in with

the bad over the years, and those memories made it difficult to make a clean break. After blocking their numbers, my family found other ways to contact me. My mother started emailing me daily, alternating between guilt trips and angry accusations. My father called my workplace three times before my boss told a receptionist not to put his calls through anymore. He showed up at our apartment one evening when we were out, leaving a note demanding I call him about important family business. My sister took to social media, posting vague but obvious references to me being ungrateful and manipulative. She even reached out to mutual friends, telling them I was having mental health issues and needed

intervention. Thankfully, these friends knew me well enough to check with me directly rather than believing her. They started calling my husband when they couldn't reach me. At first, he tried to be polite, saying I needed space and would contact them when I was ready. Eventually, he had to block their numbers too after my father called him at work and my sister sent him threatening texts. They even contacted my friends from college and high school, some of whom I hadn't spoken to in years. These friends forwarded me confused messages asking what was going on and if I was okay. It was embarrassing having to explain the situation to people who weren't close to me anymore. My parents showed up at our apartment unannounced on a Saturday morning. We were home but didn't

answer the door. They stood in the hallway knocking for nearly 20 minutes before leaving. Our neighbors later asked if everything was okay, saying they'd overheard my parents claiming they were worried about my mental state and might need to call the police for a wellness check. They suddenly seemed desperate to talk to me, ironic given how little they cared about my wedding initially. Their behavior only confirmed I had made the right decision in cutting contact. During this time, Grandpa Earl called to check on me. We had a long talk about everything that had happened. He told me something that shed more light on the situation.

My parents and sister had arranged a meeting with him after the wedding. He thought they were going to apologize for their behavior, but instead, they spent the entire hour asking about his will and financial planning. They didn't even try to hide what they were after, he said. Your father asked specifically about the inheritance allocations, and your sister wanted to know if I had considered setting up a trust for her children if she has any in the future. Your mother brought up her plans to renovate their house, hinting that an advance on the inheritance would be helpful. What disgusting, pathetic people, Grandpa Earle said

during our call. He was so upset by their behavior that he decided to change his will, cutting them out entirely and redirecting their portion to me. I told him I wasn't comfortable with this and that he shouldn't make such a big decision because of this situation, but he insisted it was his decision alone. I've been watching how they've treated you for years, he said. This wedding business was just the final straw. You're the only one who visits me without wanting something in return. The others only call when they need money or think I might be updating my will. I asked him not to tell them about his decision yet, hoping to avoid more drama. He agreed but said he was moving forward with the changes regardless. Two days after this conversation, my

My mother sent me an email with the subject line, we know what you did. The body of the email accused me of manipulating Grandpa Earle against them and threatened legal action if I didn't fix the situation. Somehow, they had found out about Grandpa Earle's decision despite his promise not to tell them. When I called Grandpa Earl to ask what happened, he explained that his lawyer had contacted him with questions about the will changes, and his assistant had accidentally called my parents' home phone instead of his cell phone to confirm the appointment. During that call, enough information was shared that my parents figured out what was happening.

The harassment intensified after that, accusing me of manipulating Grandpa Earl. My mother sent emails claiming I had poisoned my grandfather's mind against them. My sister posted on social media calling me a gold-digging snake who stabbed her own family in the back for money. I called Grandpa Earl to warn him about what they were saying, but he laughed it off. They can say whatever they want, he said. I know the truth, and so do you. They're just showing their true colors.

My husband and I discussed possibly moving since my family knows our current address. Our lease wasn't up for another six months, but we started looking at other apartments in different neighborhoods. Several friends offered their homes as temporary refuges if the harassment continued or we felt unsafe. I also consulted with a lawyer about the possibility of a relationship of a relationship. restraining order. She advised documenting all contact attempts and said we might have grounds for harassment if their behavior continued or escalated. I started keeping a detailed log of every call, email, text, and visit, just in case. My husband worried about the toll this was taking on me. I wasn't sleeping well and had lost weight from stress. He suggested we take a weekend away to clear

our heads, so we booked a small cabin in the mountains about two hours from our city. The break from constant vigilance was exactly what we needed. Update 3. It's been two weeks since my last update. Many of you suggested installing security cameras, which we did after my parents showed up unannounced for the third time. We got a video doorbell for the front door and a small camera for the hallway outside our apartment. Our landlord approved the installation after we explained the situation. The cameras proved useful almost immediately. My mother showed up the day after installation, pressing the doorbell repeatedly and then shouting through the door when we didn't

answer. The whole thing was captured on video, including her threats to call the police if I didn't stop this nonsense and talk to your family like an adult. My sister came by two days later with her husband, who looked uncomfortable to be there. She knocked more politely, but then started taking pictures of our door and the hallway with her phone. When a neighbor asked what she was doing, she claimed to be worried about me and considering hiring a private investigator to check on my welfare. Our neighbor, who we had briefly explained the situation to, told her to leave or he would call building security. Yesterday, I received legal documents in the mail. My parents and sister are suing me, claiming I manipulated Grandpa Earl into changing his will through undue influence and

fraudulent misrepresentation. They're asking the court to invalidate any changes to his will and to award them damages for emotional distress. I couldn't believe they would go this far. I immediately called Grandpa Earl, worried about how this stress would affect his health. To my surprise, he started laughing when I told him. Those delusional rats actually thought they could sue someone for their own awful behavior. What a joke, he said. I'm of sound mind, and no court will force me to give my money to anyone I don't want to. Don't worry. He explained that he had a anticipated something like this might happen and had taken precautions. When he updated his will, he had his doctor perform a comprehensive cognitive assessment, which he passed with flying

colors. He also had the signing witnessed by multiple people, including his lawyer and a notary. He documented his reasons for the changes, citing specific instances of my parents and sisters' behavior that concerned him. Grandpa Earl insisted on covering my legal expenses and had already contacted his attorney. When I spoke with the lawyer later that day, he confirmed they have essentially no case given Grandpa Earle's mental competence and documentation of his reasons for changing his will. These types of lawsuits rarely succeed unless there's clear evidence of diminished capacity or actual fraud, the lawyer explained. Your grandfather has been very thorough in protecting his wishes. I'm confident the case will be dismissed, though it might take some time

to work through the legal process. The most hurtful part is the allegations in their lawsuit. They're portraying me as manipulative and money-hungry when I've repeatedly told Grandpa Earl not to change his will on my account. They claim I isolated my grandfather from the family, when in reality, they rarely visited him even before this conflict. They accuse me of feeding him false information about them, when all I did was tell him exactly what happened with the wedding plans.

It's clear projection, but it still hurts. to see these accusations in legal documents. Reading through the lawsuit, I could see they were desperate and grasping at straws. They couldn't accept that Grandpa Earl made this decision himself based on their own actions. My husband suggested countersuing for harassment, but I just want this to be over. Grandpa Earl's lawyer believes the case will be dismissed quickly, so we're focusing on our defense rather than countertacks. He advised us to continue documenting any contact attempts and to avoid engaging with them in any way that could be misconstrued. The day after receiving the lawsuit,

I received a text from a number I didn't recognize. It was my sister using a friend's phone. The message read, You Think You're So Clever? Just wait until this all comes out in court. Everyone will see what you really are. I didn't respond and block that number two. We're currently preparing our response to the lawsuit with Grandpa Earle's lawyer. He's confident it will be resolved in our favor, but warns it could take several months. In the meantime, we're trying to maintain our normal routine as much as possible, though it's difficult with the constant stress hanging over us. Final update, the lawsuit against me was dismissed three months ago,

just as Grandpa Earle's lawyer predicted. The judge didn't even let it proceed to a full trial, granting our motion for summary judgment after reviewing all the evidence. In her ruling, the judge specifically noted that my parents and sisters, failed to provide any credible evidence of undue influence or diminished capacity on Grandpa Earle's part. During the preliminary hearing, Grandpa Earl testified about their behavior and his reasons for changing his will. He was sharp, articulate, and clearly in full command of his faculties. The judge was particularly impressed by his detailed records of their interactions and the medical

documentation of his cognitive health. My parents and sister spent a fortune on legal fees pursuing this baseless case. They hired an expensive attorney who apparently kept assuring them they had a strong position despite all evidence to the contrary. According to what we heard through mutual acquaintances, they were convinced they would not only invalidate the will changes but also receive substantial damages from me. The dismissal of the case came as a shock to them. Their attorney had apparently been stringing them along, collecting fees while knowing the case had little merit. They filed a complaint against him with the State Bar Association, but it was dismissed after review. Two weeks after losing the case, my mother emailed claiming they had been scammed by their lawyer who promised them a guaranteed win.

She said they had depleted their savings on legal fees and were now struggling financially. She asked if I could find it in my heart to help them, suggesting that since I was now set to inherit Grandpa Earle's money eventually, I could afford to be generous. I didn't respond. A few days later, my father called Grandpa Earl directly, asking for a loan until they got back on their feet. He blamed their financial troubles on bad legal advice rather than their own vindictive actions. When Grandpa Earl refused, my father said, after all we've done for you over the years, this is how you repay us. Grandpa Earl told him, if you contact me or my granddaughter again, the next legal action will be a restraining order. My father didn't take the threat seriously and called again the next day.

This time, Grandpa Earl didn't answer, but had his lawyer send a cease and desist letter. After that, they finally stopped contacting him. My sister made one last attempt to reach me through a mutual friend. She sent a message saying she wanted to clear the air and repair our relationship. Our friend, who knew the whole story, asked if I wanted to respond. I declined, having a question. learned that my sister's idea of repairing relationships usually involved me apologizing for things I hadn't done wrong. Since then, we've had peace. No more surprise visits, no more messages through

friends, no more social media drama. They seem to have finally accepted that their actions have permanent consequences. Grandpa Earl's health has remained stable. I visit him weekly, and we've developed an even closer relationship. I guess that's it, thanks for reading and helping guys. spouse's sibling dislikes me as their guardians prefer me more, and during our marriage ceremony, she attempted to reveal her expectancy, only for her spouse to expose her infidelity and the upcoming child. Wasn't his? F.Y. I have changed all the names since I don't want my relatives to find out my story. I, female, 25, have been with Jack for quite a few years. Since the very beginning, I have noticed that while his family has warmed up to me, his sister is always a pain

in my ass. For context, Jack is the eldest of his family. His parents are immigranasians. His sister Kylie was born three years after him. Jack has told me how his parents have always valued high academic scores and pushed both him and his sister to score the top marks in school. Now, Jack was more into sports than studies, and he was bloody good at it. He loved playing chess and would even stay back after school as he was part of his school's chess club. His parents did not like this. They would tell him how playing chess was just a waste of time and that anyone could do it, so he should focus more on work. He was typically good at studies but not as good as his parents wanted. His sister Kylie, on the other hand, was more academically inclined. She would score the highest

and would spend all her evenings working on her homework. As you can guess, she was favored more by their parents. Jack has told me how his parents would always compare both their grades and reward Kylie for being better. For example, they would allow her to have a grand birthday party, have sleepovers with her friends, and by her bigger presence to show their affection. However, when it came to Jack, they would tell him regularly that they were ashamed about his marks. When it came to his birthdays, they would refuse to. to spend any money and tell him how he needs to work harder if he wants to earn a birthday party and gifts.

Even writing about this makes me so sad because I have watched Jack break down in front of me while he told me stories from his childhood and how his parents always treated Kylie better. She was the golden child in the family, and she clearly enjoyed it. She would put him down at every chance she got and make fun of his marks. She never had any respect for him as an older sibling, and I think this disrespect still continues today. When it was time for Jack to go to college, his parents made it clear that they could not afford to pay for both of their college tuitions, so they could only pay for his sister's tuition fees, and he needed to apply for scholarships or take a student loan. This completely shocked Jack,

and they had a huge fight. He went off on his parents about how they always treated him and why they even had him if they didn't like him. His parents told him how they have made so many sacrifices over the years for their children. So now it was time for Jack to grow up. Kylie agreed with her parents and told Jack how he was clearly not the intelligent one in the family, so he needed to just suck it up and sacrifice for her sake. She also called him a bunch of other things like loser. It was after this fight that Jack realized that his parents would always continue to favor her more than him.

When he got admission to his college to study computer science with scholarships, he decided to move out and go low contact with his family. His parents never came to see him off or help him move into the dorm, which is so heartbreaking to even think about. Over the years, they would sometimes talk, but Jack would mostly keep it short. When he was graduating come loudly, his parents wanted to come and cheer for him,

but Jack forbade them from coming. They started to cry about how he was their son and they wanted to be there for his big moment. Jack reminded them about how they had not even bothered to pay for his college tuition while they paid for Kylie's tuition, so they were not allowed to be a part of his achievements anymore. They fought a bit, but in the end, his parents agreed to stay away. This is how their relationship had been for a long time now. I'm an architect, and I have done a master's in urban planning from one of the top universities in our country.

Unlike Jack's parents, my parents were relatively easy on me. I'm a single child, so I pretty much got all the attention. My parents are professors, so all my life I was encouraged to study what I like and have other hobbies as well. I have to admit that I was lucky to never face any comparison, and my parents have always had my back. When I met Jack, he and I were working from the same office complex but on different floors, as his company was on the second floor and mine was on the seventh. We would usually meet in the elevators and have mutual friends who would hang out as a group, and this is how I met him during a party, and we hit it off. Jack was charming, sweet, genuinely kind.

He is the sort of boyfriend who brings me flowers every month, brings me my favorite cheesecake when I have period cramps without even asking, cooks for me, and is not shy to tell me how much he loves me. Now, I'm a sucker when it comes to romance, so it didn't take us long before I moved in with him, as it made more sense since we did spend a lot of time together at each other's place. I have heard horror stories from my girlfriends about how some of their boyfriends don't help them out around the house, but Jack is the complete opposite. He is more of an OCD than me and deep cleans our home every weekend. We share and divide tasks like if he cooks, then I clean up, or if he does the laundry, then I fold them.

This is how it has always been between us. When it came time to meet each other's parents, he told me how he had been pretty much low contact with his parents for a long time and only time. talked to them whenever necessary since they never treated him well, and he recounted to me all his childhood stories. However, when he did decide to reach out to his parents about me, they were ecstatic to talk to him and immediately arranged a lunch date with us during the weekend. I was a bit nervous to meet his parents, but this was an important step for us, so I wanted to put in my 100%. His parents were unexpectedly warm towards me, and once they heard about my academic background, they became even more polite. Looking back, yes, it's true that they started to like me because of my academic inclination, but I didn't mind as I wanted to impress them. His parents

talked to me very frankly and told me how after Jack had gone low contact with them over the years after college, they had been thinking and realizing that they needed to be better to him. They told me how grateful they were that I came into his life, otherwise, he might have never reached out to them. They even awkwardly apologized to him. which completely surprised Jack. It was nice to see that his parents were finally making an effort in the right direction. However, when Kylie arrived, the mood changed. Jack had not been informed that she would even be coming, so he was a bit miffed.

His parents started to justify, saying how they had decided to call her since they felt this would be the perfect time to let go of the past so their family could move on. His mother continued to tell him how his sister was here only because she was happy for him. Kylie politely gave me a hug, and she just seemed super shy at first impression. She completely ignored Jack as if he didn't even exist and didn't say a single thing to him. When his parents started to brag to her about my academic background, her behavior changed. She started to question me about my work in the university I went to and would then subtly mock how urban planners are affecting the environment. She even asked me at one point how I felt about murdering trees, which shocked me.

It was like she wanted to put me down in front of her parents because she just could not handle the fact that they liked me. Throughout our lunch, she was passive-aggressive. She disagreed with or corrected everything I said, no matter how mundane. When we were finished with lunch, my father-in-law wanted to pay, but Jack was insisting that he wanted to take care of the bills. Out of nowhere, Kylie interrupted, saying I should be the one paying for it since they were all here because of me. She subtly taunted that since I was earning so much, I could make good use of my money at least. This seriously offended me, as I did earn quite well, but she had no right to talk about me that way, and I think her parents noticed my facial expressions also.

They immediately reprimanded her, and father-in-law told her that she was being extremely rude to me since I was just a guest. Mother-in-law agreed and told Kylie to shut her mouth. She clearly didn't like that and got up from her seat. pissed, to then walk out of the restaurant. Jack's parents apologized to me multiple times for her behavior and told me how she takes some time to warm up to strangers. I decided to let it go, thinking that I would never have to interact with her anyway, and for the sake of Jack, I should keep it together. This should have been my first red flag about her. Unlike Jack's family, my family absolutely adored Jack and loved getting to know him. My parents were happy that we

were living together and would check on me regularly. Over the years of dating, I have noticed that Kylie is always the first one to view my stories on social media. Now, I do have a public account where I post about my designs and professional achievements. I just have a thousand followers, so it's easy for me to notice when she views my stories every day but does not interact or follow me. When Jack's parents started to meet with me and Jack more often, Kylie's obsession with me only grew stronger. We had a family message group between me, Jack, his parents, and Kylie. It was

mostly inactive unless we all met up and clicked pictures, so then we would send these pictures in the group. Kylie never showed up to meet with us anymore after the first time. However, she could see all the pictures in our group, and this probably upset her even more. Once, she sent a Facebook link to the group, asking me if this was me. Curiously, I clicked it to see that it was a photo from years ago with my then high school boyfriend in the picture. We were hugging, and he had uploaded it when we had been dating. I had completely forgotten about the photo, and I don't even know how she found it or why she would even send it to the group, but I was not going to shy away from the truth. So I told her that this was me and that he was an old boyfriend. Kylie immediately

replied, saying how I seemed awfully close and I should ask my ex-boyfriend to remove this picture from his Facebook since it was not appropriate anymore. I was taken aback by how ridiculous she sounded. First of all, she had stalked me so much that she had ended up on my ex-boyfriend's page and then sent the photo link to the group knowingly, and then she blamed me for it. Thankfully, Jack, who had probably been reading our messages in the group, replied, saying this was a completely normal picture and that he had no issues with a picture posted years ago. Kylie replied back passive-aggressively how he should date someone with better standards. I was so pissed reading her message that I would have ripped her hair out if she was standing in front of me.

Jack messaged back to her that he did have better standards since I earned more than four times her salary. Now, I know this must have stung her since Kylie worked as a graphic designer, and her parents had mentioned how she didn't earn enough for her to even move out. Kylie immediately exited the group in anger and later called Jack, screaming and crying to him that he had no right to insult her in the group and that that she was so done with us. Jack didn't care, and this made her even more angry. I don't know what happened, but Jack's parents did call and apologize to me in the evening. They told me how they had talked to her and that she was going to be better moving forward. They apologized to me for her and told me that they had no issues with the picture whatsoever. It was very awkward to be talking to my in-laws about my ex-boyfriend from years ago, but I was glad that they were not like Kylie.

After this incident, Kylie pretty much stayed away from us. She never joined the group or bothered me again. A few months later, we were shocked to find out that she had eloped with a guy and got married in Vegas. Her parents were extremely shocked and pissed that they didn't even know who this guy was, nor were they invited to the wedding. It turns out that Kylie had been dating an older guy, Isaac, who's 13 years older than her, for quite some time. They met at work when Isaac was still married.

This affair led to Isaac's wife divorcing him. When their divorce was finalized, Kylie eloped with him because she knew her parents would never allow her to marry an older divorce or forgive her for having an affair with a married man. She had kept all of this from her parents for several years. She never even told them about any of this since they were already pissed that he was so much older than her. Jack and I only found out about Isaac's history when he stalked the guy and he. on his LinkedIn and Instagram. Apart from their affair part, we were happy for her since we hoped

she would turn over a new leaf after their marriage, although we refrained from contacting her. However, a few weeks later, I received a text from my sister-in-law unexpectedly. The message went something like this, I know in the past I haven't been nice to you, and I would like to apologize. I have to admit that I didn't fully accept you

as my family before, but now I've gotten past the prejudice I have against you and would like to get to know you better. I would like to have dinner with you and Jack this weekend. Let me know if you both are available. I showed the message to Jack, and he was wary about going, but I thought this might give a chance to work everything out, and since she was extending an olive branch first,

we discussed it, and I convinced him to go. I let her know as well that we would be coming, and she seemed happy about it. When we met, Kylie warmly welcomed us into her new place with Isaac. It was clear that Isaac was a wealthy guy, since he was much older than all of us. He had a modern home with a lot of gadgets, and Isaac, after introducing himself, got to showing my husband around the place.

Isaac apparently also had a dedicated shelf for all his collectibles. While the men were busy, me and Kylie got to talking. She apologized to me for her behavior and told me how after marrying Isaac, she had changed. I politely smiled and let her know that it was all water under the bridge. Kylie then went on to explain why she hated me. She told me how I had changed Jack and that he seemed more confident and happier after meeting me. I pointed out to her how this was a good thing, but she said how her brother had been in low contact with them for so long but only reached out because of me, so she felt jealous that I could

make him do such a thing. Although what she told me didn't make any sense to me, I simply nodded since I wanted to get this over with. Then she started to talk about how much happier she was now. so she could finally let go of her jealousy. She talked about how rich Isaac was and that she never had to work ever again. She brought up his various assets and how many cars he had, even though I never even asked about it. She then asked me how my work was going, and I told her about my recent promotion and fulfilling work.

I genuinely love designing, so sometimes I can ramble on about my work. Kylie immediately changed the subject and started to ask me invasive questions like when I would get married to her brother. I told her that we had discussed but we were in no hurry because we both believe that things happen at the right time. Kylie scoffed and told me that this was all BS and that I needed to push Jack to propose to me so that I don't get too old later to have children. This made me laugh and I told her how me and Jack never wanted kids and we were fine with how our relationship was going. This made Kylie's eyes widen in shock and she started to say how as a woman, it was our duty to give birth and even asked me why I was with Jack if I didn't want to give him children.

I felt so irritated with her invasiveness and told her that her brother and I were adults enough to decide what we wanted. She then got pissed and started yelling for Jack. When Jack and Isaac came running into the room while I sat feeling shocked by her behavior, Kylie demanded Jack tell her if he had any idea about the type of woman he was marrying since I had no interest in continuing his bloodline. Jack laughed at her words just like I had done a few moments ago and asked her if she realized how ridiculous she sounded right now. Kylie got even more angry and raised her voice, saying that she was going to tell their parents and that they would never allow him to marry me. Jack yelled back that no one could refrain him from marrying me if he wanted to and that because

of her narcissistic and controlling behavior, he never wanted to ever get back in touch with her. They were getting more heated, so I asked Jack if we could leave, and he agreed. Isaac apologized to us repeatedly while Kylie stood there glaring at me. Later in our car ride home, I burst out crying since I felt really bad about what she had told me. I asked Jack seriously if he wanted to have children, but he assured me that he never wanted one and that I should not allow Kylie's backward thinking to mess with my head. He assured me that if he had wanted anything different, then he would not even be with me. I felt a bit better after that.

I don't know if Kylie ever did talk to their parents. about what I had told her, but, thankfully, they never reached out to me saying anything. Jack's parents have continued to meet with us whenever they could, and they have never brought up anything she told them. After this incident, I blocked Kylie from all my social media because I was truly done with her. This year, Jack proposed to me at our favorite date spot, and ever since then, we have been busy with our wedding preparations. Our parents are really happy for us and have congratulated us on our upcoming nuptials. Kylie did find out from her parents and sent Jack a text message simply saying,

I hope you know what you're doing, which pissed him off. I also felt sad that she had continued to hold a grudge against me to this day. Now, this is where things got even more complicated with her. Two months back, my fiancé had a headache and wasn't feeling too good, so I decided to whip up his favorite dish. Realizing we were short on some ingredients, I decided to hit the the grocery store. The first one I went to didn't have everything I needed, so I ended up driving around a bit until I found another store in a different part of town. As I strolled

through the shopping complex on my way to the store, I happened to pass by a cafe and, to my surprise, I spotted my sister-in-law cozying up with some guy. At first, I thought it might be Isaac, but after a second look, I realized the guy looked closer to her age with brown hair. They were holding hands and sharing kisses, acting all giggly and chatty like teenagers. This was quite a shocker for me because, as far as I knew, sister-in-law was still married to Isaac. If they had broken up, my fiancé's parents would have definitely informed us. In a state of disbelief, I couldn't resist taking a few pictures as my eyes confirmed what I was witnessing. She never even noticed me as she was so busy with the guy.

Later, when I came back home, my hands were shaking. Jack knew something was wrong and came to talk to me. I spilled out everything, and he was taken back just like me. He asked me two to three times if I was sure about what I had seen. I nodded yes and even showed him pictures. He saw each picture closely and agreed that it was definitely not Isaac. He decided that it was important to tell Isaac about this, but I didn't know if this was a good idea since I didn't want Kylie to fight with him again. He assured me that he would be careful and

have a talk with Isaac, man to man, and told me how, as Kylie's husband, Isaac deserved to know the truth. That weekend, Jack talked to Isaac privately. It turns out that Isaac was shocked to find out that Kylie had been cheating on him with a much younger guy. But what is even more shocking is that Kylie is pregnant. Yes, pregnant. Apparently, they had just found out. and she has kept this under wrap since then because she has been waiting for the right time to announce. Isaac was floored that Kylie could do something like this to him and thankful to Jack for telling him. He begged us to not tell Kylie anything about this and that he would take care of it soon. Jack agreed, and since then, we have kept our noses out of it.

Now, we had our wedding last week. Jack's parents had convinced us to invite Kylie also since she was family and told us how it would look bad if she was missing. We agreed just to shut them up, and I firmly told them that they needed to talk to her and make sure that she didn't make a scene in our wedding. His parents agreed, and we believed them. On the day of our wedding, everything seemed to be going smoothly. Our ceremony went well, and we moved on to the reception. When it came to giving speeches, my parents gave a beautiful speech about me, and my dad teared up, saying how his baby girl had finally grown up. Dad also gave a speech and thanked me for bringing the family closer, which was so sweet.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught sister-in-law attempting to grab the microphone from father-in-law. While it might seem innocent to others, I know her well enough to not take any chances. I had already tipped off my bridesmaids to instruct the DJ to cut the mic if sister-in-law ever tried to take control. When Kylie attempted to speak into the microphone, she quickly realized that her voice wasn't carrying. and she glanced around. Jack and I simply acted like we had no idea. Later, when my mate of honor, Marfa, took the mic from sister-in-law and the DJ turned it on, Kylie must have realized that we deliberately cut her off. She started to scream in the middle of Martha's speech about how dare we not let her speak and how she had an important announcement.

She tried to grab the mic from Marfa, who refused to give it to her. We then watched in horror as Kylie Angoli got up onto her chair and started to speak loudly about how she had known all along how jealous I was about her, that I was such a bright assilla to not let her speak at my wedding. People watched her in confusion and shock, and she then continued to announce that she was pregnant and she wanted to reveal this today since she felt this was the perfect time with all our loved ones gathered around. She then smiled and looked around, hoping for people to start to congratulate her. However, everyone just looked around awkwardly. his parents looked pissed, whispered to Kylie to not embarrass them further and that she needed to sit

back down in her seat, but this just made Kylie go red in embarrassment. She glanced at me and started to yell if I was happy for doing this to my own husband's family and that this is why she never wanted her brother to marry a loose woman like me. Jack, who had up until then tried to remain calm for the sake of me, got up from his chair and looked like he was going to give her a thrashing of her life. However, before he could react, Isaac, who was saying, sitting beside Kylie, took the mic from Marfa, and he apologized to us for Kylie's behavior and then congratulated us on our wedding. Then he turned to Kylie and told her that he never wanted to do this publicly, but she needed

to be taught a lesson. Kylie looked at him confusingly while Isaac went on to say that it was true that Kylie was indeed pregnant, but that he was not the father of the child. The crowd gasped, and I couldn't help but cringe, knowing where this was heading. his expression turned sour. Isaac turned to her and announced, Let's first figure out who the father to your children is, then worry about the announcement, and smirked at her. Jack's parents, who were silent, asked what he meant, and this is when he showed them pictures from his phone about how Kylie had been cheating on him for the past two

months with another guy. Thankfully, Isaac never once threw me and Jack under the bus and simply continued to say how he had become suspicious about her behavior and had hired a pie who had clicked all these pictures. Jack's parents glanced through the pictures in disgust and horror while the guests continued to whisper. Kylie sat speechless throughout all of this, perhaps trying to comprehend the fact that she could not hide the truth anymore. Jack then seized the opportunity and asked Kylie to get out of our wedding and that he was embarrassed by being related to a woman like her. She burst out crying, holding Isaac's arm, and left. After this debacle, we tried to save the rest of the wedding, but everyone was just too riled up about what Kylie had done to Isaac and us. All anyone

could talk about was her affair and her pregnancy. It was really embarrassing for us and Jack's parents also. Since then, I have been getting emails from random email addresses, which clearly belonged to my sister-in-law, threatening me that she wants to finish me because apparently this is all my fault and that I should have just let her announce her pregnancy so she would not have been publicly humiliated. I have shown these messages to Jack, and he believes we have done nothing wrong and this was all her own doing. He might be biased, so here I am asking, Ida for being too harsh on my sister-in-law and not allowing her to announce her pregnancy. Update 1, wow, when I posted this, I hoped a few people would tell me if I did anything wrong. For now, there are hundreds of comments

under my post calling my sister-in-law in awe. This post has blown up in a few days. First of all, thank you for assuring me that she is as crazy as I have always thought her to be. To answer some of your questions, yes, Isaac has informed us that he will be getting a divorce from Kylie. Yes, I will be forwarding all the screenshots of her emails to Isaac, which will definitely come in handy for his court proceedings. No, we haven't yet talked with Jack's parents because we are still on our honeymoon, and this is quite a heavy topic, so we plan on meeting them face to face for this conversation. Yes, my parents and my relatives were just as shocked as everyone, and my parents continue to check up on me every day as they are shaken up by how Kylie behaved towards me. I think for such a long time, I hoped that she and I would become at least cordial that I had forgotten to notice just how manipulative and narcissistic she truly is. It is only now, when my family is pointing it out and assuring me that they have my back, that I feel confident enough in my decision to cut her out of our lives, even if Jack's parents might resist it.

Update 2, so we got a chance to talk with Jack's parents now that we are back from our honeymoon. They are extremely embarrassed, to say the least. They have informed us that they have cut off Kylie, which was completely unexpected for us to hear. They continued to tell us how Kylie wanted to move in with them since Isaac kicked her out, but they refused to even let her in. In the end, she had to go and stay with one of her friends. Jack informed his parents that what Kylie had done in our wedding was unforgible. and moving forward, we would like no contact with her whatsoever.

If they ever changed their minds and wanted us to include Kylie again, then we would also cut them off if we had to. Jack's mother started to cry, talking about how painful all of this was and that she never expected Kylie to do something like this. I don't know how true they will remain to their word, but I am glad that my husband is a no-nonsense person, unlike me, so I know he will never allow her back into our lives.

I am glad that we are done with Kylie completely. Update 3, it has been eight months since my last update, and I just wanted to update that Isaac has finally divorced Kylie. Isaac informed us that Kylie did admit to everything. Towards the end, she confessed that she had been seeing this guy on the side, and it was purely physical, but she got pregnant. She never wanted any relationship with him, so she had hoped that she could get away with it.

Since she was at fault for having an affair, and they didn't have any children, from their marriage, she would not be getting any alimony from him. Due to this, Kylie begged Isaac to let her keep one of his cars at least as a keepsake, but Isaac refused. She then started to cry about how she had no one to depend on during her pregnancy since the father of the child had abandoned her also, but Isaac let her know that it was none of his business anymore. We continue to remain in touch with Isaac despite his divorce. Jack and he have grown closer in the past few months. They sometimes meet during the weekend to play video games.

Jack's parents have not talked to Kylie, so I am guessing she is truly alone. For her child's sake, I hope she makes the right decisions moving forward. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my spouse being unfaithful when we linked her cell phone to our latest television, and it appears she was terminated from her position for disclosing information and is now under scrutiny. Bit of background, we've been married for 22 years. and we have one son, 19. Like any marriage we've had scuffles here and there but nothing that we haven't been able to get over.

In fact, I felt we had a great marriage with great communication, mutual attraction, and a satisfying sex life. We both share a love for the outdoors so we were constantly on the go and staying active, hiking, camping or just taking long walks. We've always taken care of ourselves and made an effort to stay in pretty good shape because we talked about growing old together. and being able to do things when we're old and gray. I work as a paramedic and over the last nine months, my shifts had gotten a bit twist turned around. I've had to work mainly night shifts and picked up a lot of extra shifts. She works as a litigation consultant and has been working from home for a little less than a year.

When my wife made the transition to WFH, it wasn't her idea. Her firm actually moved towards liquid talent and she told me everyone started working from home, but I remember her making a big stink about it and how she wasn't going to be able to see her clients and colleagues face to face as much, which makes building relationships and trust so hard. I remember her being strongly against it, and so much so that she was debating on leaving her work. Trust. Hmm, how ironic. Remember this for later. Anyway, my night shifts made things a bit distant between us since our schedules suddenly didn't really overlap anymore. Although she'd be at home working, I'd be sleeping. When I'd be getting ready to go to work, I thought she was settling in for the night and getting ready for bed.

But when we were both off at the same time or our schedules mashed up nicely, we seemed to be just fine. We were close. We played around. We had fun with each other. There was nothing out of the ordinary or anything that tipped me off that anything was going on behind my back. Our marriage felt fine. She'd talked to me about her week. She'd text me during the day while I was sleeping telling me that she missed me or she saw something funny and thought of me. She made me meals that I'd eat when I woke up and she'd pack me lunch. Recently my brother came over to help me install a Chromecast I got through a contest at work.

It happened to be a random day off I had and my brother was in town from his shift work and I hadn't seen him in a while so I decided to ask him for some help with him. this. We were having fun taking turns connecting our phones to the TV and watching videos and listening to music, just decking around. My wife comes out from her office after she was done with work and she asks what we're doing and I tell her that he's helping connect my phone to the TV for our new Chromecast. I ask her if she wants my brother to help her download the app on her phone so she can use it too and she hesitates at first and looks at the TV and then looks back at me. And I'm like it's super simple, you just have to download an app. Takes like two seconds.

Finally she caves, but it looks like she's texting someone or going through her phone right before she passes it to my brother. At the time, I didn't really think anything of this. My brother starts going through the process of connecting her phone and getting it recognized and she asks how long it's going to take. My brother says something like maybe two minutes. And she's like, okay, I'm just going to go to the washroom quick. Before she walks away, she turns back around and says, You're just downloading an app, right?

And he's like, yeah. So she leaves to go to the washroom and my brother and I are having drinks on the couch and we're not really paying attention while he's going through these easy steps to connect the thing. Not even ten seconds after that, he connects her phone to the screen and as a joke, he opens up her messages and there's a contact that's named just a heart emoji. He looks at me and starts laughing thinking that he's going to find something juicy in there between her and I. I'm like a viewer discretion advised. And he starts scrolling through this thread and see some pretty raunchy things being said back and forth

and he's calling me cheeky and a dirty dog and saying things like he didn't know I had it in me. I will say, it wasn't beyond my wife and I to say some pretty interesting things to one another while she was getting ready for. bed and I was just starting my shift. So at first, I did think that this was a message thread between the two of us. But as I'm looking closer at the thread, I'm realizing that this isn't between me and my wife. At one point, she starts calling this guy Craig. At another point, there's some nudes exchanges and let's just say that the male extremity definitely wasn't mine. My brother sees my reaction and he starts scrolling through slowly this time, trying to read whatever he can, and then realizes the same thing. My stomach dropped and my brother stopped laughing.

The text basically reads something about a certain body part of Craig's being in my wife's mouth. My brother got up and handed me the phone and suddenly told me he had to go and quickly left. I didn't blame him. I got up and started videoing what I was seeing on the screen. And as I heard the toilet flush, I exited the messages and dropped the phone on the couch and quickly ran out onto our porch to make it look like I had been sitting out there the entire time. After about five minutes or so, she comes onto the porch and she asks me how long I've been outside for. I told her my brother and I went to sit out there as soon as she left the living room. She looked relieved and then played it off like nothing happened and sat down next to me.

I got up to walk back inside to pretend to grab another beer and saw that she had disconnected her phone from the TV and now it's just a black screen. This was eating me alive. I had to go on a quick run after that just to wrap my head around what I saw and to blow off some steam. I was also trying to think of ways I could get back on her phone again to send those messages to myself and to see just how far this really went. For some reason, I just had to see more. Later that night I come up with this BS excuse that I have to re-download the app on our phones because something went wrong with the Chromecast. She's not necessarily all that tech savvy. She usually makes me do anything techy around a house whenever it comes to the internet, or she thinks I can diagnose anything to do

with the TV, the internet, or our phones. She makes me download coupon apps and little wordle things on her phone, so I knew if I'd said something like I need to redownload something, she'd likely believe me and give me the phone back. Later that night, I'm pretending to screw around with the TV before she goes for a bath. Just as she gets in the bath, I come in and I'm like, ah, I got to re-download this app on our phones because I accidentally unplugged something and it just fucked up everything. She looks at me a bit worried and she's like, I don't really need to be connected to it. And I'm like, ah, it'll take me like two minutes. Super easy. Then you just have it on your phone and we don't have to worry about it later. She's like I'll get out of the

bath and help. And I'm like, no, no, you had a long day, just sit back and relax, I'll be two seconds. She reluctantly hands me her phone and she's looking concerned. Then she tells me to be careful and not to go through anything because she has some confidential client information on there. I kind of come back and say why she's having client conversations on her personal phone when she has something set up on her computer for that. She tells me that the system on her laptop was down for a bit and therefore she had to use her cell. Yeah. Whatever. I tell her no worries, I'm just downloading this app and then reconnecting it. She asks me if I should call my brother back and if I'm capable of doing that myself. But she says this in a way that really rubs me the wrong way.

As if she's telling me that I'm weak or something, or not good enough. Either way, I felt like it was a dig at me. I tell her if I have any problems that I'll call him and I walk out of the bathroom. We've never been once to snoop on each other's phones. Up until this moment, I felt like I never had to. We've always known the passwords to each other's phones, but never once have I ever snooped or checked in on what she was doing. I've always trusted her implicitly. And yeah, I guess since she's worked from home, she's been a bit more protective of it, but I chalked that up to just work. Or that maybe work was getting a bit overwhelming so she was just playing mindless games on it to decompress.

Turns out she was decompressing with someone else other than me with someone else in her mouth. Right under my nose. Right as I'm sleeping during the day or working my ass off for us in the wee hours of the morning trying to bring junkies back to life downtown. I felt like an absolute schmuck. I honestly, 100% had no idea that anything was going on and I feel like a fool for not seeing it or even letting it happen. I had to work fast but I managed to scroll far back enough to see that the communication between my wife and Craig started last May, which was over a year ago.

I screen recorded what I could so I could just go back and pause and read later and I sent it to myself via email and then deleted it from her photo slash videos and her scent box. Meanwhile, she's yelling at me from the bathroom asking if everything is okay because I've reached the five-minute mark by this time and I'm trying to play it cool saying that I'm having a problem with my phone and she's, she's asking me to bring her phone back. I go bring back her phone and she asks me if everything is okay and I'm like, yeah. Figured it out. And I walk back into the living room. From there I'm going through this video that I sent myself and reading just months worth of filth. My son no longer lives in the house with us, he lives with his buddies in a condo downtown, so I thought my wife was alone in the evenings while I was working. Nope. This guy, Craig, would be come over and they'd have their way with each other while I was at work.

Not only that, but he's even snuck over while I've been asleep in bed. This was all so rough to read. I ended up finding out Craig's last name from his Instagram page because she follows him on Instagram. Which, by the way, they send each other sexy memes and lingerie ads and what have you on there too. From there I look up Craig and quickly find that he's an attorney for a firm that my wife does work for.

He started in March of last year. He looked like a pretty young guy. Maybe in his late 30s, early 40s. I saw red. I went back to the screen recording and went through it slowly. It looks like she broke the news to Craig that she'd be working from home around the same time she told me. She was upset about the fact that she wasn't going to see him during the week at all. This looked earlier on in whatever sort of thing they had going on, but from their experience.

quickly progressed because he said that he'd have to take her out for drinks and they could catch up there. Then shortly after I started working nights and extra shifts, she told him that he could come over for lunch or start coming over because her husband, aka me, was sleeping, but that they'd have to be quiet. I was sick to my stomach reading this. Now I'm here. It's been a few days since D-Day and I'm trying to think of my next move but I just wanted to write this out and see if anyone has some good advice out there. I really don't want to get screwed in this, I mean, my wife works for law firms and knows her shit and knows people who can really take everything from me. I just have to be careful here.

This whole thing just has me really fucked up. Update 1, I met with a lawyer. Before I get into that I just wanted to give a thanks to everyone who reached out and lent some advice and some tough love. I needed to hear all of it. So yeah, I met with a lawyer. First off, I ended up calling my brother and telling him what else I found and he's been a really great support system through all of this. He actually reminded me of the friends that my STBX and I made through her work. It's a husband and wife who run their own firm. My STBX used to do some

consulting for them a few years back. They were close enough that they would come over for dinner every now and again and we went out for dinner a couple of different times, and maybe a Christmas party here and there, but we ended up not seeing or hearing from them too much after my STBX's contract ended with their firm which was maybe a year ago. My brother encouraged me to reach out and said that I just needed to be honest with them. He said that if my STBX was good enough to work for them, it meant they were good at what they did. He was right. So I reached out to the husband and told him exactly what was happening but asked that he keep this just between the two of us because I didn't truly know the relationship that my STBX had with the wife still

and if they were close. I didn't want to risk her finding out. Anyways, he got back to me right away and basically laid everything out for me. He told me to send him the video of the text thread between her and Craig. He said send him copies of financial documents, account statements, and whatever else. He told me to open up separate accounts that I should start depositing my money into and try to take out money here and there from our joint accounts until things go down, but to not make it suspicious. He said since our son is 19 and living on his own, I don't have to worry about custody or anything

like that. And said that once the papers are served to her, to consider living arrangements and who's going where or who's staying where. I told him I wanted to keep the house. He said just not to discuss divorce details or badmouth her or anything like that. I haven't named names other than Craig so I feel like. we're good here. She doesn't even know what Reddit is, as far as I know. But yeah, so the papers are getting made up. My wife makes significantly more money than I do. He said I may be entitled

to alimony or spousal support. We have a few investments but those were actually made separately and she can't take any of mine and I'm not entitled to any of hers. We don't actually have any debts either. She paid off her student loan long ago and I didn't have any loan. like that. The biggest thing we own together is our house, which I love. We've lived in it for 12 years and I really don't want to have to get rid of it if I don't have to, but I know I can't afford it on my own. Update 2, the papers were served to my ex. I told her I wasn't leaving the house and that she had to leave. She told me that this was basically her office and I said she can find somewhere else to work. I told her she wasn't working half the time anyways, she was

inviting Craig over and fucking him while her own husband lay in bed a few feet away. She tried to threaten me and told me that I had no idea what I was getting myself into, but the threats were empty ones because I knew she was just scared. She knew exactly who my lawyer was. After that, I told her that she had to break the news to our son. I told her that she had to tell him everything and I said he had to hear it from her or else I'd show him the threat of messages between her and Craig. He completely sighed. with me. My ex tried to apologize to him and he didn't seem to have it. He actually encouraged her to move out of the house to give Dad some space. And after that, she packed up and moved out.

My son has also been incredible through all of this. He's checking in on me almost every day and we've been seeing a lot more of each other, which has been nice. Here's where things get a little juicy. What I didn't know when I contacted my attorney was that he was one of the best family law attorneys in the country. But my wife apparently knew because she tried to contact me and apologize and take back everything to which I said it was too late for any of that. What was really interesting was when she said that her and Craig would pay me to be silent because it would ruin their careers. She said that she really messed up and she doesn't know how to fix things but desperately wants to fix things with me. My lawyer actually let me in on something, I guess while my ex was

working for him. She started getting cozy with a partner of the firm and leaking information. They found out and they weren't going to have that so they gracefully dissolved that relationship and then they terminated her contract. So I guess the consulting firm that my ex worked for caught wind of this and wasn't okay with that either. Because they know their way around the legal system, I mean, it's their job, it took them a while to give her a slap on the wrist, but once they did, her punishment was. Drumroll please having her work from home. Basically house arrest.

So everything she's been telling me has been a lie. Her firm never went to liquid talent and her contract never ended naturally with my attorney. They terminated it. And it all makes sense now why we stopped hearing from them and seeing them out of nowhere. I just thought that it might have been awkward after the contract ended, but little did I know, it was awkward for an entirely different reason. Update three, well, we settled. She ended up giving me a large lump sum of money instead of months of alimony which I used to buy out what was left on the house and then some. So the house is now officially mine,

thank goodness. She tried really desperately to get back with me until the very end. so much so that I had to tell my attorney and then communication was moved to only between attorneys. It just got too weird and I wasn't having it and I wasn't interested in getting back together or trying to make things work. Because of what was going down with Craig, she ended up losing the contract with that firm too and now she's under investigation. Rumor is that she's been aiding attorneys and breaching attorney-client privilege. Some colleagues or clients started noticing irregularities in information handling and discrepancies in case details or unusual access to confidential information. There were recorded conversations and messages and emails that were shared

without the proper authorization. I guess in layman's terms that means she knew things she shouldn't have and then told that to attorneys for the benefit of their case. So now a formal investigation was launched to the State Bar Association for breach of attorney-client privilege and other violations. But that's not the best part. This all traveled within the legal community which led to rumors about different practices involvement and unethical practices. It's just a giant fuck baggery of shit. But I'm laughing. She did it to herself. I'm out of there and I have my house and the best son a father could ever ask for. Now on to the next story. Story two. daughter cut me off for 17 years after my affair, she called to reconnect, but I refused,

now I have apologized and she's visiting with my grandkid before I move overseas. I am not sure if am I in awe. Going to provide some background. I am in my 60s now. I was married to my ex-wife, and we had a daughter. Our marriage was going through its ups and downs, but I was really close with our daughter. But as our marriage was going through its days, difficulties, I made a huge mistake I still regret to this day. I started having an affair with

my co-worker. She was in an inviolent physically abusive relationship at home. We became friends at work, and things just escalated from there. She got an out from me, she got the support she needed to file for divorce from her husband, who is currently in jail now. The affair went nowhere and we called it off shortly after, but I was glad that she got off her abusive relationship and that she was safe. But when my ex-wife found out about the affair, things expectedly didn't go well. She lashed out and said a lot of horrible things about me to our daughter,

who was 15 at the time. I admitted full fault with the affair, but even after the divorce, I sensed that the distance between me and my daughter was growing, until one day, my daughter said she wasn't going to speak with me anymore, and she was going to cut me off from her life forever. That was the most painful thing anyone had ever. said to me. I begged her to please reconsider. I still remember that day. But time passed on.

My daughter kept her word, and after trying to connect with her for the first year, I gave up. I found out from one of my mutual friends that my ex-wife married a great guy. I was happy because I was hoping that would remove the hatred for my ex-wife and my ex-wife would advise our daughter to at least rekindle a relationship with me. But that never happened. I moved states a year later. I am at peace now, but still have some aching sadness. I have retired. Both my parents have passed away, my brother passed away tragically a couple of years ago.

To be honest, I am waiting for my turn. I have only my dog and my sister left. A couple of hours ago, my daughter called me on my phone. I haven't spoken to her in 17 years. I instantly recognized her voice, but I didn't feel anything. No happiness, no sadness, just indifference. She was crying a lot on the call, and we caught up on life. She's married, and she has a daughter who's now 12.

She apologized for cutting off contact, and she says her mom asked her to reconnect with me, as her mom felt guilty about how everything played out. She said she really wanted me to meet her daughter, and her daughter was constantly. constantly asking about granddaddy. But I wasn't feeling anything. After we caught up on everything in our life, I told her I don't care about her or her daughter, and to never contact me again. I then hung up.

Was I the awe? Comments of Spouse 123. Uda I hate when adults make very bad adult decisions that affect their children and then blame the children when they respond in a very childlike manner. Your daughter was a teenager. That is a rough time for kids even when their home life is stable. You gave her one whole year before you cut bait and gave up on her. Then you moved away.

You told your daughter that she wasn't important enough to fight for and she believed you. Now that she is an adult with a child of her own, she has reached out to you and you again told her she wasn't important to you. She now knows she was probably right to cut you out the first time. Captain Cavmae Ann, she has reached her. out to you and you again told her she wasn't important to you it sounds like he's been waiting 17 years to hurt her back and he finally got his wish. Congrats on his small, pathetic victory. He's totally O.O.D. Maine Dennis, 1974.

Ain't nothing like a deadbeat narcissist claiming to be the one victim in a situation he created for himself. I was helping my company worker G. E.T. out of an Abu save marriage. Waylord, I helped out a co-worker out of an abusive marriage and didn't even have to sleep with her. Shocking. Top palpitation 4681. Well, it's already been said, but you're the E T's whole. Opp okay. Hananya, you don't have to be one, though.

A lot of time has passed. At least try to meet her halfway. Surely you owe her that much. Dysopian glitter, I'm concerned. confused as to how this is even a question for op. But I guess he doesn't care about anything and is just waiting to die. Alone. How tragic. Update, look, I was extremely drunk last night.

The words which came out of my mouth weren't the best, and my comments on my post weren't great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the a-a, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn't really expect her to pick up the call, but she picked up in the same. immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages, and told her I know I was the ah, and Thousand said so. She again said I wasn't the ah. She started crying again. I told her she's free to come to my house any time the next four months, because after that I will be leaving the country with my

sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country. and we will be spending the rest of our lives there. I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter said she'd come with her husband and her daughter by end of next week. She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days, and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted, as our house was spacious enough. Comments, The Doctor 49, just saw the update and good shit, man,

I hope things work out for you and don't be hard on yourself. Life happens and sometimes things are out of our control, I'm super glad you and your daughter have rekindled your relationship and I hope it all turns out great for you. Maybe you're not on its whole after all. Life's hard sometimes and we all make emotional choices sometimes. Be well up. I hope you enjoy this story. Family members evicted me to accommodate their favorite offspring. A decade later, she absconded at the age of 13, and now they are imploring me for assistance following deceiving her. I abandoned them. Growing up, I always felt like a bit of a disappointment to my parents. My mom and dad were hoping for a girl.

In fact, they've been trying for a daughter for years but had no luck until, well, me. They didn't hide the fact that they were disappointed that I was a boy much either. I overheard them say they felt like they'd been given a spare, and I even remember hearing them call me a remnant once. As a kid, that didn't make much sense, but as I got older, it hit me hard. It was obvious that I was just the kid they had while waiting for something better to come along. My parents kept trying for another kid. In fact, it was all they'd ever talk about at family gatherings or when their friends came over. I remember a lot of people telling my parents that they needed to be grateful that they at least had one kid.

But my parents would brush them off and tell them that unless it was a girl, they had no kids. Anyway, when I was 15, they finally had my sister who was also their miracle child. She was everything they'd been hoping for. They poured everything into her. They gave her all of their attention, money, and time. The moment she was born, I pretty much stopped existing in my parents' eyes. I mean, I know I barely existed in their eyes already, but when my sister came along, I was literally invisible. They barely had any time for me, and they made sure that everything that had to do with that made it easier for them to look after my sister.

They stopped caring about my hobbies or interests, but they made sure that they showered my sister with praise for every little thing. I knew she was their priority, and I accepted that. I mean, what else could I do? By the time I turned 18, it became pretty clear they didn't want me around anymore. The day of my birthday, my parents sat me down, and it wasn't for any kind of celebration. They told me that they needed more room in the house and that I'd have to move out. Apparently, they thought that by me being there, I was taking away resources from my sister.

I tried to explain to them that I didn't have anywhere to go yet and that I just needed a couple of months to save up and find a place. But they weren't interested in anything I had to say. They said I'd had plenty of time to prepare and that I should be able to manage just fine on my own. So, just like that, I was out. I didn't have much. I just had a few bags of clothes and whatever money I could scrape together from odd jobs I'd done in high school. I ended up couch surfing with friends for a bit and then moving into a tiny, run-down apartment. Those first few years were rough.

I worked all kinds of jobs, from working nightshed. at convenience stores to doing heavy labor on construction sites, just to make ends meet. I never really had a stable job, and I was constantly worried about making rent or affording food. There were nights I'd fall asleep hungry and not knowing if I'd be able to afford my next meal. During that time, I tried to keep in touch with my parents. I don't know why. I know I should have been angry with them, but they were still my parents and I guess I hoped that they cared about me at least a little bit. I'd call them every once in a while hoping for even a small sign that they missed me. But every conversation was short and awkward like they were just

waiting for it to end. The only reason we spoke was because I was the one reaching out. They never called to check on me or see if I was okay. After two years of the same thing, I just stopped calling. It hurt too much to keep putting myself out there when I knew that they didn't really care about me. And they never reached out to me either. They never even sent a message for holidays or birthdays. I figured they had their perfect family now, and I wasn't a part of it. Yeah, it hurt, but I learned to make peace with that. Nine years went by like that.

I finally managed to build a stable life for myself. I had a steady job, a small but comfortable place to live, and friends who had become my chosen family. I'd accepted that my parents were out of my life for good. Then, out of nowhere, a few days ago, I got a call from them. I honestly thought something must have happened to one of them, so I picked up. Besides, I hadn't heard their voices in almost seven years, and they sounded kind of erratic if I'm being honest.

They told me that they needed to talk to me about my sister. They went on to very dramatically explain that my sister was going through a rough time and was out of control. I was surprised by that. I mean, she was only 12 or 13. I didn't understand how things could be so bad already, but they told me she was constantly skipping school, getting into fights, and even caught up in some serious trouble. She was already experimenting with substances, hanging out with sketchy people, and just doing things that seemed way out of hand for someone her age. Apparently, they had to spend a ton of money getting her out of trouble. They tried to put her in different programs and paid for all these counseling sessions that ended up not really doing much for my sister.

I was floored. I mean, I get that teenagers can be difficult, but it was hard to picture a kid that young spiraling so much. It sounded like all the years of spoiling her had finally caught up with them. But I couldn't wrap my head around how bad things had gotten. After telling me all of this, my parents told me that I needed to help them out. They wanted me to come back into their lives to support them, both emotionally and financially. They explained that taking care of my sister had taken a massive toll on them and that they just couldn't handle it anymore. It was like they expected me to drop everything.

Live all the years of neglect and rejection, and somehow step in to make things right. They tried to guilt-trip me by saying I was still their son and that family needed to be there for each other in hard times. I was shocked to hear about what my sister had been turned into, but hearing them not even asking but demanding that I helped them made me furious. Where was that family needs to stick together mindset when I was 18 and begging them to let me stay? Where was all this concern when I was sleeping on friends' couches and struggling to get by? They tossed me out without a second thought, and now, just because things had gone south for them, they wanted me to swoop in and save the day.

I told them no and that I wasn't interested in helping them. I said I'd built a life for myself without their help, and I didn't see why I should put myself in a difficult position now just because they'd raised my sister to be a nightmare. They did not take that well. They called me selfish and ungrateful. They said that I was abandoning them in their time of need. They then accused me of holding a grudge and said I should be willing to help

because they were still my family. After listening to them rant for a while, I just hung up. I didn't want to hear it. I knew I'd made the right decision. But it's been a few days now since that call. They still haven't stopped trying to reach out to me. My mom texted me and asked me if I'd be willing to hear them out over dinner this weekend. But honestly, I don't know.

I know that I don't owe them anything after the way they treated me all my life, but a part of me still feels guilty. I can't shake the feeling that maybe I'm in the wrong and that maybe they're right and then help them out despite everything they've done. I keep thinking about it. And it's messing with my head. I can't help but wonder if I was too harsh with them. Part of me thinks that they made their bed and should lie in it.

But another part of me wonders if I'll regret this decision down the road. Ida for refusing to help my parents after everything they put me through, Update 1. Hey, everyone. I wanted to give an update because things have definitely moved forward since my last post. Also, I saw a lot of questions in the comments, so I'll try to clear up a few things first. A lot of people asked why I don't just cut my sister off, too, and if I blame her for any of this. I want to make it clear that I don't really have any negative feelings toward my sister herself. I don't know her at all. Really she was a big. when I left, and I haven't been around since. To me, she's just a kid I never got to know,

and any anger or resentment I feel isn't directed at her. It's my parents I'm mad at for how they treated me, and for how they made me feel like I didn't matter once she came along. They're the ones who ignored me, kicked me out, and now expect me to come back and save them. I also saw some questions about what my parents were like when I was growing up and if there were specific things that made me feel unwanted. It's honestly tough to talk about, but I think it's important to help you all understand why I feel this way. My parents weren't outright abusive, but they definitely made it clear that I was more of a disappointment than anything else. They wanted a girl so badly and openly talked about it. I remember them saying things like, we waited for our

miracle baby, while referring to my sister, and treating me like I was just there in the meantime. Once my sister came along, they seemed like they finally got what they always wanted, and everything I did was ignored. If I got a good grade, no one noticed. If I had a big moment, like a graduation or an award, it was barely mentioned or even acknowledged. And then, after she was born, it was like they couldn't wait for me to just leave. They saw me as the extra they didn't need, which is probably why they kicked me out as soon as I turned 18. Anyway, I hope that clears things up. Now, here's the actual update.

After reading your comments, I decided to take some advice and reach out to my parents. A lot of you suggested that if I wanted closure or to get a better idea of what they wanted from me, I should meet them in a neutral location. So, I ended up asking my parents if they'd be willing to meet at a coffee shop in town. They agreed, and I showed up with the mindset that this was going to be just a talk and not meet jumping in to fix anything. I was still pretty angry, but I wanted to see what they had to say. When I got there, I could see right away that they weren't in good shape. They looked tired and much older than I remembered. Not to mention, they looked really stressed out. They wasted

no time and got straight into it. They began begging me for help. They gave me more information than they did the last time we spoke. Apparently, my sister's issues are working. worse than I initially thought. Beyond the substance use and legal trouble, she's had to go to multiple rehab programs, all of which they've had to pay for out of pocket. She's been skipping school, sneaking out, and causing trouble with friends who are a terrible influence. My parents said that they tried everything they could to change this behavior, but nothing has apparently worked. It turns out they've sold a lot of their things, including my childhood home, to cover these expenses. They're living in a small apartment now and struggling to make ends meet because of all

the costs they've taken on to save my sister. They even talked about selling some family heirlooms to scrape together more money, which they think will only last a few more months. Now, they're at a point where they're truly desperate, and they said that they needed my help to get back on their feet. But while I felt sorry for them, I couldn't help but feel like there was this underlying expectation from them. They kept bringing up the fact that we were family and that I was their son and that it was my duty to help out. It was almost like they thought that no matter what they'd done in the past, I would still step up because of some duty I supposedly have. The way they were talking made me feel like they hadn't really processed the hurt they caused me or even

acknowledged the fact that they treated me poorly. They just kept pushing the idea that I should help them now because they're my parents, and it's what's right. As they're They kept going, I could feel all these old feelings of anger and resentment coming up. It was clear to me that they didn't see any of this as their fault. They brushed off the fact that they kicked me out and said that it was just parenting and that they'd done what was best for the family at the time. They acted like it was normal to treat me that way, and now they were expecting me to just forgive everything and swoop in to fix things.

I realized that they weren't looking for forgiveness or understanding. They were looking for a solution. And to them, that solution was me. They needed someone to take on the financial burden of all the decisions they'd made over the years. Listening to them speak only made me angrier and more upset with them. They still didn't get it. They still didn't understand that they'd pushed me away so hard that I barely knew them

anymore. They didn't understand what family meant at all, and they still insisted that I treat them like family. I let them finish talking, but I told them that I couldn't help them. I explained that I'd worked hard to build a life on my own after they left me stranded and that I wasn't in a position, financially or emotionally, to support them. I said I didn't feel any sense of obligation to bail them out of a mess they'd created by themselves. They were furious.

They told me I was being selfish, that I was abandoning my family, and that I was heartless for not helping my sister. I could see the anger and disappointment in their eyes, and it was like looking back into the past. It was like nothing had changed. They were still trying to guilt me into feeling like I owed them something. I ended up leaving that meeting feeling a lot more conflicted than when I went in. Part of me is relieved that I set a boundary and stood up for myself, but another part of me feels guilty like maybe I'm turning my back on them when they're at their lowest.

It's hard to explain, but even though I know they hurt me, it still feels strange to walk away like this. I keep thinking about their situation and about my sister, who I don't even know. I feel sorry for her, but I don't feel like I can save her. It's painful to realize that even after all these years, my parents don't see me as an individual with my own life and struggles, but instead just as someone whom they can use to fix their problems. I'm trying to let go of the guilt, but it's hard. So, I guess I'm back here to ask if I made the right call by sticking to my decision. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Update 2, hey, everyone. I'm back again because things have gotten even crazier since my last update, which was only about a week ago. Honestly, I thought things would settle down after I decided not to help my parents financially, but I was way off. Just a few hours ago, I got a call for my sister. This is the first time I've ever heard from her directly, and it completely caught me off guard. I barely even know her, I only have these vague memories from when she was a baby, right before I left home. So when I picked up the phone and heard her voice, I was stunned. I had no idea what to expect, but I figured maybe she wanted to reach out and talk to considering my parents did.

The call started out okay. She was polite and almost sweet, which was surprising given everything I'd heard about her behavior. She asked me to lend our parents' money to help them with their current situation. I could tell she'd rehearse this pitch because she was laying it on thick about how they were struggling and how I could save the family. But I stood my ground and told her that I wasn't able to help them financially. I tried to keep my tone respectful and explained that my relationship with our parents was complicated and that I had to make decisions that were better. for me. That's when everything flipped. She went from polite to furious in seconds. She started accusing me of being selfish and abandoning her with all the responsibility of dealing with

our parents. She kept saying that I was turning my back on my family and had always been jealous of her. She claimed that I was acting like I was better than them because I got away and started my own life, while they'd been the one supporting me all along. It was shocking to hear her talk like this. It was almost as if she'd rehearsed these words too, I mean she sounded just like our parents. Besides, she sounded so entitled to my help. It was like she genuinely believed it was my job to step in and fix everything. I was so taken aback that I couldn't even respond. Here was this person I'd never had a relationship with, demanding that I make up for years of choices I had nothing to do with. After she finished her rant, she hung up before I

even process what had just happened. After the call, I knew I needed to talk to my parents to figure out what was going on. I was so confused. Like, why did my sister think I'd abandon her, and where was all this hostility and anger towards me coming from? I called my parents, and as soon as they picked up, I asked them straight up if they'd been telling my sister that I'd abandon her and them. At first, they hesitated, but they quickly admitted that they'd told her for years that I'd left

the family because I couldn't handle sharing their attention with her. They'd basically made me seem like I was a selfish older brother who couldn't deal with having a younger sibling and had cut ties with them out of spite. Honestly, I felt like someone had knocked the wind out of me when I heard this. All these years, my parents have been feeding my sister this twisted version of why I left and made me out to be some kind of villain. No wonder she felt like I'd abandoned her. She'd grown up hearing that I left because I didn't want to do.

share my parents' attention. Meanwhile, the reality was that my parents made me feel like an outsider from the moment she was born, and they didn't hesitate to kick me out as soon as I was legally an adult. I pretty much hung up on them after that and they haven't tried to reach out again yet. Then again, it's only been a few hours since I last spoke to them. Aside from that, I honestly don't know how to feel right now. On one hand, I'm angry at my parents for lying to my sister about me and for making her think that I was the one who walked away. But I'm also frustrated with my sister for lashing out at me and demanding that I help them as if I owe it to her. It's hard to shake off this resentment I'm feeling, but now I'm also feeling guilty in a way I can't fully explain.

I wish my parents had told her the truth about why I left. Things would be different between me and my sister. I may not have been able to help my parents financially, but I definitely would have been able to get through to my sister and help. or change her behavior. But now, it feels like there's too much damage to fix. I'm not even sure if I want to. This whole situation is so exhausting because just when I thought that I was done with my family for good, they came back in the worst possible way. I know a lot of comments have asked me to just block my parents and move on, but it's not like that for me. Tell me what you want, but this is still family and I feel like I need to know what's going on at the very least.

I really am in no position to help my family out, but this is the first time that they've reached out to me and a part of me is happy about that. Still, I know that I definitely won't reach out to them first or help them out in any way. Only because, it's clear to me that my parents are still trying to manipulate the situation to get what they want, and my sister is too wrapped up in their version of the story to see things differently. I don't know what else to do. Hey, everyone.

It's been a few months since my last update, and I've had a lot of time to reflect and let things settle down. Honestly, it's been a lot quieter for me, but only because I made the choice to stay out of the mess my parents and sister have created. I'm learning that sometimes the best way to find peace is by just stepping back and not letting their drama take up space in my life anymore. After my last update, things didn't really get any better with parents. About a month after I last updated on here, they called me again. I was dreading it, but I picked up because I wanted to hear what they had to say. This time they were even more desperate than before. And they used everything they could think of to guilt me into giving them money.

They talked about how bad things were, how they were on the verge of losing everything, and how they needed me to step in and fix it. The usual, really. At first, they tried the whole family. is supposed to stick together guilt trip. They even threatened that they were going to my life miserable if I didn't help them. They then switched tones and said that I was the only one who could help them now. Honestly, I was pretty disgusted.

After everything that happened, they still had the audacity to threaten me, and not once did they stop to think about how badly they treated me. I stood my ground. I told them I couldn't help them financially, and that it wasn't my job to fix their problems. I reminded them that they made these choices, and it wasn't on me to clean up the mess. They weren't happy about that, obviously.

They kept calling for the next month and trying to guilt-trip me some more. It felt like they didn't even care to understand why I was refusing to help. They just saw me as a means to an end. Eventually, they stopped calling. I figured that they realized I wasn't budging. For a month, I didn't hear anything from them, and honestly, I thought that might be the end of it. But then, just about a week ago, I got another call. I almost didn't pick up, but I was curious to know what had happened.

Turns out, things have only gotten worse for them. They told me they had to declare bankruptcy. They'd sold almost everything they had to cover their debts, and they were basically starting over with nothing. And then they mentioned my sister. She had apparently cut contact with them completely and moved in with one of her friends apparently someone who supported her bad behavior. She's only 13, but somehow, she managed to move out and live with a friend's family who was just as enabling as she was. I don't understand how that happened, but I guess it's another example of how messed up everything has gotten. I asked my parents why they didn't get the authorities involved and they told me that it was for the best that my sister no longer lived with them because they couldn't see themselves helping.

her out anymore. So, they basically abandoned their second child as well. At first, my parents tried to put the blame on me. They said that if I had just helped them out when they asked, none of this would have happened. They said I was the reason everything went downhill. Of course, they couldn't admit that they were responsible for their own actions. I was beyond mad. I told them straight up that everything happening to them was a result of their own decisions and the way they treated me. I reminded them of how they kicked me out when I turned 18, how they treated me like a second-class citizen in my own home,

and how they ignored me when I needed them. I reminded them about how they didn't even acknowledge how that affected me and instead, they just kept trying to shift the blame onto me. That's when they finally stopped making excuses and started backtracking. They apologized and said that they regretted everything they did to me. They told me they wished they had done things done. differently. It felt like they were saying all the right things, but it was too little, too late. I couldn't just forget how they had treated me for years, and I couldn't erase the fact that

they had destroyed two lives mine and my sisters. They had pushed me away and now, they were reaping the consequences of that. I felt pity for them. I honestly did. But at the same time, I knew that I couldn't sacrifice the life I'd built for myself to try to fix things that were already broken. I told them I couldn't offer any help and that I needed to keep my distance. They were upset, but I stayed firm in my decision. After I hung up, I still felt very angry at them for what they did to me, but at the same time, I was sad for them. I wish they had taken the time to see what they were doing when they had the chance. But now, it's too late. I've made my peace with the fact that I can't save them, and that's something I'm learning to live with.

I don't know what the future holds for them or for my sister. All I know is that I'm not going to let their mistakes ruin my peace. I've come too far to let them pull me back into their chaos. Maybe over time, I'll try to reach out to my sister again and see if I can help get her on the right track. But for now, I have much bigger things to worry about. I can only hope that she learns the right things until then. So, yeah, that's about it for me. It'll be a long while before I check in on my family again.

I know this isn't exactly the happiest ending, but it's something that I've made peace with. Thank you so much for all the advice in the comments and comments.