Reddit Stories - Episode #31 Late Night AITA Stories Bedtime ( Over 9 Hour Compilation )

Episode Date: November 8, 2025

#redditstories #sleep #sleepstories #bedtimestories #fallasleep #AITA #bedtimecompilation #relaxingstories #nighttime #storytimeIn Episode 31, listeners are treated to a compilation of late-night AITA stories designed to soothe and entertain. Over an hour of engaging narratives helps ease the mind, making it easier to drift off to sleep while pondering the moral dilemmas presented.redditstories, sleepstories, fallasleep, bedtimestories, relaxingconfessions, late-nighttales, moralstories, soothingnarratives, bedtimecompilation, storytelling, nightlyrituals, peacefulsleep, engagingcontent, dreamydilemmas, nighttimeentertainment, listenerfavorites, sleepaid, calmingstories, relatablecontent, AITAnarrativesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse was unfaithful with a young person and is now feeling very low because they were rejected after a short time, while showing little emotion when our relationship came to an end. I, a woman aged 32, was married to Cam, 34M, for six years and together for 16 years in total and we also share a daughter, Mia, for F. A bit of background, I was a psalm and he worked but I noticed he was coming home late. He started getting angry a lot, also always on his phone and to mention I had caught him looking at this girl's Instagram story before but I didn't think anything of it. Shortly after that I found out he was cheating on me with Sky, now 19 F, yeah, barely legal. When I found out obviously I was hurt but I was also completely disgusted that he was cheating and willing to ruin our family for her. I became a psalm when my daughter was born and we made an agreement that he was in charge of our money and he would just give me his card to use when if I need.

to buy anything. I wasn't making any income except for the money I had before having our daughter which I kept in my bank account and I saved it for emergencies. I felt stuck because I didn't know what to do and for my daughter's sake I didn't end up leaving up. I had got suspicious and I went to look for the girl through his followings on Facebook and Instagram. I ended up finding the girl's story he was looking up Instagram and I just made an assumption that it might have been her and I shot her a DM, long story short, she was rude as hell. She had zero. She had zero. She had zero. Zero remorse and kept on telling me to bother my husband who cheated instead of bothering her. She was aware he had a wife and family but didn't care and even told me that he was paying her tuition.

I ended up getting mad and telling her to stay away from my husband, but she just told me she would keep going and it was just fun. After that, I guess she told my husband and I think he realized that I wasn't leaving. He literally would leave his location on even when he went to her college campus, which really pissed me off, because I couldn't see how he was really ruining all we had for some of girl who isn't even serious about him and also not even fucking legal to drink yet. Our daughter, Mia, attends ballet, and they had a performance. This is what really was my breaking point because our child should always come first. He was out all night long that Friday and on Saturday was the recital and obviously he needed to be there for Mia's first recital.

I gave him until 11 p.m. then I finally called him and guess who picked up the phone? Sky. She told me that he was busy and, then hung up and that was my breaking point. I quickly packed some of mine and Mia's stuff up and I woke her up so we could go to my mom's house who didn't live far. So we ended up crashing the night there as I didn't want him to come back home to us nor did I want to see him when I woke up. That was a year ago. Now, we're divorced and I have full custody of Mia while he has visitation rights. I got a job, saved up, and now in an apartment and while it's not the best, it's good for me and Mia for the time being.

Anyways, after the divorce they ended up getting together for a couple of months. While they were together he was visiting Mia but not as often, I'd say like twice a month. To nobody surprise she ended up leaving him after a couple of months, but this is where I may be the asshole. Ever since they've broken up he's been depressed. He drinks a lot, he doesn't eat much, he's always sulking on the couch and just not himself. He comes over more often to see Mia which is why I know this and I feel away. He's all depressed because she left but didn't have this energy when we divorced after being together for 16 years? When we divorced he didn't seem to care at all.

He was just nonchalant about it and kept messing around with Sky, but now that this girl you were barely with left you, you're depressed. I know he's going through it, but I can't help but feel a certain way about this. Ida for being upset that my ex-husband didn't take our divorce the way he took his recent breakup. Update 1, April 23, 2025. I'm so overwhelmed right now, I didn't accept this to escalate so quickly, but it did. Firstly, I want to thank everybody who gave me advice I really appreciate it all. I'm sorry if I took long to reply to comments, I had a busy morning especially with a four-year-old who attends preschool and also hates getting up in the morning. A bit of background about their relationship, at least the stuff I know.

The divorce happened last year so at the time Sky was 18. I clarified this in the comments but I'm going to say it again. Cam was the one who offered Sky to pay her tuition and I think he did that to keep her around. After I found out about the divorce he would come home angry. He would call her names and was mad because she was seeing other guys in college and posting herself going to parties. I don't know how long their affair was. All I know is how they met, at least this is what he told me. me. Cam told me that they met at a club and he thought Sky was older, but then she later told

him it was a fake ID. Now I don't believe he thought that one bit. Sky screams teenager, I could tell by just one peek at her Instagram. She looks super young, she dresses like a teenager, she has braces with a very youthful, and she types slash acts just like her age. Cam has visitation rights and he comes over to see Mia which I'm going to make arrangements to change that. When he comes over you could just feel the negative energy coming in with him by his attitude and the way he looks. While Mia is occupied, that's when he vents to me about Sky, which I don't know why the hell he does. I will admit I'm stupid as I don't say anything, I just let him talk.

I pretty much ignore him when he's here like he doesn't exist while he just would just vent randomly. But let me tell you guys what just happened and I'm literally so pissed. My baby gets out of preschool at 2.30, usually my mom would pick her up, but I got to leave early, and her ballet practice is at 4 p.m. While during the ballet practice you could either leave your kid there or you can stay in the practice with them. One of my closet girlfriend's daughter also attends the class and I needed to get groceries for our meals. So with her permission I left out for a bit. My guess is that Kim gave Sky my number because I genuinely don't see how else she could get it. Anyways, long story short, she has read it and she came across my post and was pissed about it.

Guys, no joke, this little girl and her friends was spamming my phone with calls. She would call me and say horrible things and then next I would get another call from somebody else who would say other stuff. This happened about seven times. The two first times, admittedly I went back and forth, but as it kept going I finally got the hint they were playing with my phone so I started recording and just let them yell an insult. I knew they were all together because when Sky called first I could hear other girls giggling or saying slick shit in the background. I didn't get the whole thing on recording because it came out of the blue so I only got the last few.

If I was to file a harassment report about this, would it be valid or not? I blocked them and threatened to call the cops the last time and they stopped, but seriously this is childish ass. Edit, forgot to mention that this isn't real names. it's just close to all of our names and all of our correct ages, so I think that's how she figured it was me. Comments where Op has replied, Commenter 1, file harassment charges absolutely. Also, send all of the information about the affair and all of the recordings of her calls to you to her mommy and daddy. Oop, one of my girlfriends is super good at finding people through social media, so I'll definitely send her to look for Sky's parents.

Commenter 1, if Sky has a FBI account. Her parents can probably be found on her friend's list. Boop, she doesn't, at least I don't think she does. I looked through Cam's following on Instagram and Facebook before the divorce and I only found her on Instagram Oop should go to the police for harassment. Boop, deaf taking her to the police and going to hopefully try and see if I could find her parents. I'd love to message her that but she's the type to go back and forth, she literally just hurls insults. As I mentioned she's 19 and she sure does act like it up clarifies on custody in the

affair. Oop, I have full custody and he has visitation rights. I don't know when the affair started but all I know is that when I found out, she was 18 and hopefully it didn't start when she was a minor update too. May 7th, 2025. Hi everybody, I posted on here two weeks ago about my situation with my ex-husband. I also posted about how Sky and her friends called my phone repeatedly. Firstly, I do want to say thank you to everybody who gave me ideas of what to do about the situation and I especially want to thank the people who messaged me privately to help me get over this. I also unfortunately had perves in my messages and know, my daughter doesn't need a stepdad. On to the update, I ended up emailing Sky's school about the harassment. As I mentioned in the

first update, Sky has read it so she took the college she attended out her Instagram bio which she originally had. Sky, I know you're probably reading this and unfortunately for you, dumbass, I didn't forget the school you attend. I emailed them about a day after my update along with photos of my call log and they finally got back to me this past Monday. They didn't exactly tell me what they did but to summarize it they basically told me that they would take care of her and thank me for it. Obviously Sky learned her lesson as she didn't come. contact me at all. Unfortunately, me or my girlfriend couldn't find her parents. She doesn't have a Facebook, only a Instagram. She doesn't have much photos up, but the ones she does up doesn't have

anything of her family, just herself. On to my ex, soon after my post I called him and I set boundaries. I told him if he wanted to see Mia then it was to be done at his home or anywhere but my house. I told him that when it was time for him to come and get Mia that I would just walk her to the car and that he has no permission to come inside my home. He didn't take it lightly, he fussed that he was allowed to go into the home that his daughter is in. I told him that there's no need for him to do that because if he wants to see her and only her than me bringing her to the car wouldn't be a problem. After a while of fussing he did accept it eventually.

Unfortunately I was stupid and I decided to try and pry my way into knowing a bit more about their past relationship and the affair. I don't believe that Sky told Cam about the post or anything as I think. think he would have been mad or at least brought it up. Cam opened up a little bit and told me a bit more about their whole relationship. He told me that at first him and Sky were originally just hooking up. Before anything happened, Sky let him know that she didn't want a relationship as she wanted to live the college experience and Cam didn't take it seriously.

Eventually, she started talking to other guys and he would also see her following go up with other guys in it whenever she said she would go to an event. He tells me that he started paying Skies because Sky said if he didn't then she would expose him. I'm not sure what he means by exposed as he couldn't be talking about expose him to me because he didn't even seem to give a fuck when he got caught. But Sky had told me that he's the one who offered the pay the tuition, so I don't know which one is telling the truth. He told me that he loves Sky but couldn't love her any longer because she was a gold digging whore. Even more confused because Sky literally broke up with him.

He also said that Sky didn't listen and that she deserved everything he did to her because there's no reason she should be avoiding him. Mind you, I'm confused as hell. At first it seemed like he was trying to play victim but immediately got off topic and really was just raging about Sky. I'm baffled because you were literally just crying over this girl. I ended up questioning him because it literally didn't make sense. He ended up yelling at me, telling me to shut the F up and other shit. Eventually, I just hung up the phone because I don't have time for that. Like a child, he blocked me.

I ended up just talking to his mom. I asked if during Cam's time if I could just drop Mia off at her house and if Cam wants to see Mia then he could visit. She's an amazing grandmother, so she accepted. I told her that he blocked me which she was shocked and told me that she would talk to him about it. But that's the update currently. Hopefully Cam gets help because obviously the nut.

job needs it. I recently started working out and I even joined a dating app this past Saturday like some people requested I did and good news. I matched with a ton of people. I will also share that I have been a bit down just thinking about my baby girl. I feel like I did wrong picking Cam as her father. I didn't have a good father growing up so all I wanted was for my kids to have the dad I never had and at first Cam was amazing but now I don't know what's happening. I think it's a midlife crisis maybe. Sorry for this long post, thank you to everybody who helped me. Next story, Ada for saying my brother shouldn't have brought a random pregnant girl who he calls his GF to my destination wedding and for refusing to let my her be in my wedding photos? I got married last weekend.

I'm still so pissed off at what my brother did. He took all of the attention off of me and my husband. Normally, I don't feel the need to be the center of attention, but this was my freaking wedding day. I feel like it's all anyone was talking about during the wedding and now it's like the main thing any of them even remember from the entire thing. It was a destination wedding within the U.S., so nothing crazy. We kept the guest list to our families, immediate and extended, as well as closest friends. My parents paid for our immediate family to arrive about five days ahead of time. So, it was my parents, my sister, and I initially, and my brother arriving a few days later.

We knew my brother was bringing a date. No big deal. He said he was just bringing a girl from school. He didn't even call her his girlfriend officially. My parents showed up at the airport to pick my brother up and there he was, hand in hand with an obviously pregnant girl that none of us have ever met. My parents were obviously taken aback. My brother greeted them like everything was normal, according to my mom,

and my parents didn't really know what to do or say. Then he just said surprise. My poor mom almost fainted and claims my dad yelled out WTF, have you done? He introduces us to this girl, but doesn't clarify if she's his girlfriend and doesn't give us much info at all really. It was very weird. It was obvious that she was uncomfortable. She said she wasn't feeling well and needed to go lay down after the flight.

So, at dinner it was just our family as she was resting. We were all awkwardly sitting around the table eating dinner, barely saying a word. My mom finally says, brother's name, is that your baby? By then we all assumed it was, but my mom needed confirmation. The lack of any real explanation or details from him up until then was just odd. He admitted it's technically not his baby, but he's in love with her and intends on being a father to the baby anyway. The actual father isn't involved and doesn't want to be, and if they get married,

then he can adopt the baby so he'll legally be the father. She's living with him and none of us knew this either. He's been her main support person throughout the entire thing. She's 28 weeks, well 29 now since this was over a week ago. I think this was worse than what we had all assumed. So in love with her that he's going to take on the responsibility of her child and marry her, yet we've never even heard of her? He said he has mentioned her quite a few times.

Well, maybe he's mentioned her name in person. passing, not to me, maybe to my parents, but never said she was his girlfriend or pregnant. None of us understand. He's 21, about to graduate college, planning to enter law school next, and he's an attractive guy. Why would he do this? My parents, especially my mom, were stressing out about it all weekend long throughout my entire wedding weekend. It was like my wedding became an afterthought. All my parents could talk about was how to make my brother change his mind about this girl. Then, when the wedding photographer was taking family pictures, he wanted her in them. That's was really the breaking point for me. She isn't family. None of us knew about their relationship, and we met her

two days prior. She shouldn't be in our official family pictures for my wedding. It's like forget the bride and groom, look at random heavily woman hitching herself to my brother. No, I told him no. I refused to let her be in the photos. My mom made me allow her to be in one picture, but said we don't have to buy that one or put it in display anywhere. It just made my blood boil. Anyway, I don't think he should have brought her. There was no reason to bring her to my wedding, especially without warning.

I mean, it's all my side of the family could talk about and he was reticent to even correct them about it not being his baby. He said that's because it was awkward for her to have to explain the full scenario to everyone, so he just let people think what they wanted. Because he wouldn't at least say something, everyone was gossiping and wondering about it the whole time. I'm posting this because I'm upset that several friends and even my own mom are telling me I'm overreacting and just need to accept it. When I told a group of my coworkers about it after the fact, they weren't at the wedding, they agreed with me and thought what my brother did was absolutely insane and rude.

Update, May 12, 2025. I think I might be about to do what I'm assuming very few people come here to do. I'm sharing an update and want to say that in hindsight I think I was actually the asshole in my situation. I think I was riding high on wedding hormones and center of the universe vibes at the time, but I've slowly come down to earth in the many weeks since I last posted. I let my worry about the gossip about my brother and his girlfriend get in the way of me enjoying my day, and there's no way to go back and change it. I also realized that I should have just agreed to do one photo with his girlfriend included.

One photo wouldn't have been important and it didn't have to be considered the official photo of me and my family that I put in my wedding album or hung on the wall. Instead, I chose to be a witch to somebody I was meeting for the first time and we already felt very uncomfortable. For many weeks after I made my first post, I was sure I was not the asshole. My he is deflated and I've had a talk with my brother about it. We both came to the conclusion that in our family we didn't really learn how to have difficult conversations about things that we knew might make somebody else uncomfortable, which is why I couldn't calmly voice my feelings to my brother on my wedding day and instead acted like a spoiled child.

It's also why instead of having a normal conversation with our parents to let them know that he was dating somebody who was pregnant by somebody else and that he was going to be raising this baby as his own, he panicked and decided to just announce it with that. actually having to voice it to them at all. And my wedding just so happened to be the first occasion he had to do so. I don't think he mentioned to hurt me. Several people have asked me about an update on my brother and his girlfriend. Well, she's his wife now.

They got married. They're still together, living together. We've gotten to know her a little better and she's not as bad as we all wanted to make her out to be. I think she genuinely loves my brother and my brother loves her. She just so happened to be pregnant when they met and they both acknowledge it's a bit unusual. My brother is the type who brings all the stray animals home, so I think we all sort of worried that he just felt bad for her and wanted to help her and protect her, but I think it's more than that.

I went to her baby shower. She seems perfectly normal and nice, and really crazy about my brother. The baby was finally born at 41 weeks and of course my brother was there. The baby is several weeks old now. Half the time I forget that the baby isn't actually my brother's baby and isn't actually related to us by blood. After my wedding, my parents started to get more concerned about the whole situation with my brother. My mom became the most judgmental one. My brother talked to our dad and eventually got him to realize that my brother is an adult and he's going to do what he wants to do.

Eventually my dad was like, you're right, and I'd rather just support you here. My mom couldn't get on board. She wouldn't let herself even give his girlfriend slash wife a chance. She convinced herself that my brother was just being manipulated and taken advantage of by this evil woman. She told everyone that too. So things were sort of tense because I felt somewhat in the middle at that point. But now? My mom has been the only person to babysit since the birth.

It's like she saw the baby and forgot all about everything and she's all buddy-buddy with his wife now. I'm shocked that this woman has decided to not completely cut my mom out of the baby's life altogether, but perhaps she's a bigger person than all of us. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse was unfaithful with her colleague, and subsequently altered the locks of my residence during my brief absence. Upon attempting to enter forcefully, she contacted law enforcement, and claimed that I am a danger to her. Hi everyone, I'm Ben, 35, male. This is difficult, but I feel like I need to write it down somewhere, to get it out of my head. It all started about eight months ago, a date that fundamentally altered my life.

I came home from a business trip a day early. I'd finished my work sooner than expected and thought I'd surprise my wife, Laura, 33, female. The surprise, unfortunately, was entirely mine, and not in a good way. Our home felt quiet when I walked in. I put my bags down in the hallway and headed towards our study. Laura often worked from home on Fridays. I found her work laptop open on the desk, which was unusual. She was usually very guarded about her work devices, citing client confidentiality.

As I got closer, a message notification pinged on the screen. The name Daniel popped up with a preview, last night was incredible. Can't believe we finally did it. Same place next week. Daniel, 28, male, was a junior team member Laura supervised. My blood ran cold. It was like the floor dropped out from under me. Against my better judgment, a part of me that needed to know, I clicked on the message history.

It was a Pandora's box of betrayal. Months and months of messages. It started off seemingly innocently, or so it could be argued, with comments about work projects, then transitioned to flirty office banter, compliments that were too personal. From there, it escalated sharply to explicit descriptions of their meetups, detailed discussions of hotel rooms, specific times, even complaints about close calls where they almost got caught. There were hotel booking confirmations. And then, the photos.

Intimate photos of Laura and Daniel. Photos of them in various states of undress, in hotel rooms, even a few selfies that looked like they were taken in our car, the one I usually drove. I felt physically sick. My hands were shaking so badly I almost dropped my phone as I took pictures of the screen, documenting everything. She may have simply left the laptop open in her haste and arrogance, maybe thinking that I wasn't due back until the next day.

Laura and I had been together for five years, married for two. I genuinely thought we had a good, if not perfect, relationship. We had arguments, yes, what couple doesn't. Sometimes Laura had a sharp temper, or could be demanding. For instance, if we were at a restaurant and her order was slightly wrong, she would make a significant scene, not just a simple complaint. I used to think it was her being a perfectionist or having high standards. Looking back, these were red flags of her entitlement I had chosen to ignore or downplay.

I never, ever suspected infidelity. Her ambition I admired, her occasional outbursts I tolerated, thinking it was part of her passionate nature. I sat there for what felt like an eternity, the images and words burning into my brain. Then I heard her car pull into the driveway. She came in a few minutes later, humming, then stopped when she saw me. Ben, you're back early, she said. Her voice was too bright, and her eyes looked. Surprised, but something else too.

I didn't beat around the bush. Who is Daniel from marketing, Laura? Her smile faltered. He's just someone from work. A junior on my team. Why do you ask? She tried to sound casual but wouldn't meet my eyes and kept glancing around. Are you sleeping with him?

I asked, looking strong. straight at her. Laura laughed sharply. Don't be ridiculous, Ben. Seriously? You're going to accuse me of that just because I work with him. You're being incredibly insecure. She started to walk past me. I held up my phone with a photo of her and Daniel in a hotel bed, smiling for the camera. Her face went pale, then red. You went through my private work laptop. That's a complete violation. of my privacy. How dare you? She shrieked.

You're having an affair, arranging secret meetings, sending him pictures, and your main concern is your laptop privacy. I shot back, my own voice getting louder. She didn't deny it then. No point. She just got furious. So what if I did? What are you going to do about it, Ben?

She spat. Maybe if you weren't so. damn boring and predictable. Maybe if you paid more attention to me instead of your stupid hobbies, I wouldn't have to look for excitement elsewhere." Her word stung. She started pacing the study, getting louder with every accusation. I was controlling, neglectful, didn't appreciate her, tried to stifle her career, a whole barrage.

Then she saw a porcelain vase on a shelf, a gift from my late aunt that I treasured. I could react, she grabbed it and threw it against the wall. This is your fault. She screamed as it shattered. Everything is always your fault. I looked at the shattered vase, then at her. Something in me snapped. Get out, I said, my voice low and angry.

Get out of my house. The house we lived in was mine, I inherited it from my Aunt Carol, filled with her things. Laura knew how much it meant to me. You can't kick me out, she yelled, her face twisting. I live here too. This is my home. Not anymore, I stated. Pack a bag.

I want you gone tonight. She refused. The argument went on for what felt like ours. Her mood was all over the place. One minute screaming and calling me names, the next sobbing that Daniel was a mistake, a nobody, then back to blaming me. At one point, while screaming, she grabbed a heavy glass paperweight from the desk. She raised it like she was going to throw it at me or my computer.

I flinched and put my hands up. She held it there for a second, then slammed it on the desk hard, right next to her laptop. Then she grabbed a letter opener and made a few quick, shallow scratches on her forearm, drawing blood. Look what you're making me do." She wailed, holding out her arm. You're driving me insane. The cuts weren't deep, more for show, but seeing her hurt herself and blame me was really disturbing. I didn't know how to react.

I couldn't physically force her out, I wouldn't. Exhausted, angry, and honestly a little scared of what she might do next, I told her I was going to stay at my friend Sam's place for the night. I needed space to think, to process, and for things to cool down. I told her that when I came back the next day, I expected her to have a plan to move out, or to have already left. That was a colossal mistake. Walking out that night, leaving her in my house, was the worst thing I could have done. I spent a sleepless night on Sam's couch.

Sam listened, offered support, and agreed Laura's behavior was beyond the pale. The next afternoon, around 3 p.m., I drove back to the house, with Sam accompanying me for moral support and as a witness. My key slid into the lock, but it wouldn't turn. I tried again. Nothing. She had changed the locks. I couldn't believe the audacity.

I hammered on the door, shouting her name. After several long minutes, Laura opened the door, just a crack, a chain still on. She had a smug, almost triumphant look on her face. Can I help you? She asked, let me in, Laura. This is my house. You know that? Not according to my lawyer, she said coolly, holding up a piece of paper through the crack.

I could see some kind of legal letterhead. I filed for an emergency order of protection and established residency. You left, Ben. You abandoned the marital home. I'm staying. You can't come near me. I was utterly stunned. In less than 24 hours, she had not only changed the locks but had already consulted a lawyer and was actively trying to usurp my property and paint me as a threat. Sam tried to reason with her, saying this was insane, but she just smirked and slammed the door shut.

A few minutes later, as Sam and I were standing on the sidewalk, discussing what to do next, a police car pulled up. Laura had called them. She had told them I was trying to break in, that I had threatened her previously, a complete lie, and that she feared for her safety. The two officers listened to my side of the story,

then to hers, shouted through the closed door. They were civil but made it clear that since she was legally my wife, had established residency, however manipulatively, and had made a claim of fearing me, they could not force her to leave, nor could they allow me entry if she objected.

Forcing the issue, they warned, could lead to my arrest for domestic disturbance or attempted forced entry. One officer actually said, sir, for your own good, it's better if you leave the premises. Get a lawyer. Handle this through the courts. I was being escorted away from my own property, under suspicion, while the woman who had cheated on me destroyed my belongings, and was now making false accusations, watched from the window. The first thing I did was call a lawyer specializing in divorces.

I explained the situation. My lawyer was blunt. He said it was going to be a tough, ugly fight, especially given Laura's immediate aggression and manipulative tactics. He warned that she would try to claim as much as possible, and that proving the house was entirely separate property, despite it being an inheritance, would require documentation. He also said her claims of abuse, even if false, would complicate matters. So that's where I am currently. I am still in talks with the lawyer and don't know what to do. I am so confused Reddit, what would you do if you were me? Update 1, hello again, everyone. The outpouring of messages and support after my initial post was unexpected and genuinely helpful. It's a strange comfort to know I'm not entirely

alone in navigating this kind of personal hell. Many of you shared similar experiences or offered advice, which I've taken to heart. I spoke at length with my older sister, Clara. She's a corporate lawyer, so not exactly her field, but she's sharp as attack and fiercely protective. She's known Laura since I started dating her and admitted she'd always found Laura a bit high maintenance and self-centered, but she never imagined this level of cruelty. Clara recalled a dinner party at my place about a year ago where Laura had berated a guest for

accidentally spilling a drop of wine on a new rug, making the atmosphere incredibly tense for everyone. At the time, Clara had pulled me aside and said Laura needed to dial it down, but I defended Laura, saying she was just stressed from work. Clara now says she wishes she'd been more forceful back then. Clara has been an absolute rock. She immediately offered to vet any lawyer I chose and to review all documents and legal strategies. Her legal mind, even outside family law, has been invaluable. Ben, she told me, Laura is executing a classic destructive personality playbook.

The sudden rage, the victim playing, the immediate escalation to legal threats, changing locks, the false accusations to the police, the self-harm threat, these are all tactics. They are designed to destabilize you, make you doubt yourself, and seize control of the narrative and assets. Do not let her win by reacting emotionally. Stick to facts, document everything, and let the legal process work. Hearing her frame it so clinically helped me detach a little and see Laura's actions not as random explosions, but as deliberate, manipulative moves. The pressure from other quarters, particularly Laura's family, has been relentless and

and utterly infuriating. Laura's parents, Eleanor and George, called me multiple times. Their approach was astonishing. Eleanor, Laura's mother, did most of the talking. She launched into a lecture about how all marriages face challenges and that I, as the man, should be more understanding and forgiving of Laura's passionate and sometimes impulsive nature. She actually tried to suggest that Daniel, the affair partner, was probably just starstruck by Laura and that Laura, in her senior position, might have been mentoring him a bit too closely, perhaps blurring a line unintentionally. The way she tried to sanitize and minimize a months long, deeply deceptive affair was breathtaking. Eleanor then had the gall to say,

Ben, darling, Laura is a very sensitive girl. You walking out like that, even for a night, must have terrified her. It pushed her to the edge. She needs stability, and you know how much she loves that house. It's her sanctuary too. You should really consider letting her stay there while you two work things out. Forgive and forget. It's the Christian thing to do, isn't it? When I interjected, and told her about Laura smashing my aunt's irreplaceable vase and then superficially cutting her arm while blaming me, Eleanor just sighed dramatically. Oh, she's always been a bit theatrical. She gets that from her Dear Father's side, you know. A flare for the dramatic. Don't take it so seriously. She was probably just overwrought and didn't mean any harm by it. Those things can be replaced,

but a marriage is precious. George, Laura's father, who is usually quiet and lets Eleanor lead, mumbled his agreement. He added that Laura was exceptionally fragile at the moment and that I needed to be the bigger man and show compassion. Their only concern was for Lord. Laura's comfort, her desires, and maintaining her version of reality. It was crystal clear where Laura had cultivated her sense of entitlement and her belief that she was never accountable for her actions. They even hinted that if I made things difficult, it could get unpleasant for everyone, which I took as a veiled threat, possibly financial or legal, given their past behavior

of bailing Laura out. Laura herself has been a whirlwind of chaotic communication since being served with divorce papers and the official notice to vacate, which her lawyer is, of course, fighting. Since I blocked her main phone number, she's been using burner apps and new SIM cards to call and text me. The voicemails she leaves are a disturbing cocktail. They swing wildly from tearful, almost pathetic apologies, where she sobs about making a terrible, terrible mistake and how Daniel meant nothing, to declarations of undying love and how we were soulmates meant to overcome this. Then, often in the very next message, or even within the same

one, her tone will shift to cold fury. She'll scream profanities, threatened to ruin my career, tell me I'll never get the house, that she'll fight me with every breath, and that she'll make sure everyone knows what an abusive monster I am. Her harassment extended beyond phone calls. She showed up at Sam's apartment building one evening, well after 10 p.m. Sam Lillard. Sam lives in a secure building, but she somehow managed to tailgate another resident through the main door. She then started banging on Sam's apartment door, screaming my name, demanding I come out and face her like a man. Sam, who is a good friend but not confrontational, was quite shaken. He called me as I was outside, and I told him to call building security immediately.

Security escorted a hysterical and shouting Laura from the premises. Sam said she looked completely, completely unhinged. She was screaming that I was holding her emotional support documents hostage inside Sam's apartment. The smear campaign has intensified. Sarah, a mutual acquaintance, more hers than mine, called me, ostensibly to offer sympathy, but it quickly became clear she was fishing for information for Laura. Sarah relayed that Laura has been telling everyone that I was secretly seeing someone else for months, that I was cruel and emotionally withdrawn, and that her brief indiscretion with Daniel was a desperate cry for help because I was so neglectful and abusive. She's painting herself as the tragic victim of a cold, heartless husband.

This narrative is gaining traction with people who don't know me well or who are easily swayed by her dramatic performances. The most alarming incident occurred last week, directly related to the house. I had to retrieve essential personal documents, my work computer, and some vital medication. My lawyer, arranged for a court-approved civil standby, meaning two police officers had to be present to ensure peace during my brief visit. Laura was, of course, present. The moment she saw me walk in behind the officers, she launched into a full-blown meltdown. She clutched her stomach dramatically, stumbled, and then collapsed onto the living room floor, wailing at the top of her lungs. She started screaming that she was pregnant with my child and that the stress I was putting

her through was causing her to have a miscarriage right there and then. I was utterly dumbfounded. We hadn't been intimate for several months, well before I discovered the affair. There was no possibility she was pregnant by me. The police officers looked extremely uncomfortable, unsure how to handle the situation. One of them, a younger female officer, cautiously asked Laura if she needed an ambulance or medical attention. Suddenly, Laura's agonizing pain seemed to subside slightly. She made a show of bravely trying to sit up, waved a weak hand, and said she be fine, but then she fixed me with a venomous glare and said, loud enough for the officers to

hear clearly, he doesn't care about our baby. He probably wants this to happen. It was a grotesque, lie, transparently designed to shock, manipulate, and discredit me in front of the police. After I gathered my essential items, as I was walking out the door, she whispered, her voice low and menacing, you'll pay for this, Ben. I'll make sure you lose everything, you bastard. Both police officers heard her threat and made a note of it in their report, which my lawyer said was helpful. Clara's advice remains consistent. Stay utterly disengaged from Laura directly. All communication must go through lawyers.

Document every single interaction, every threat, every voicemail, every third-party report of her behavior. This escalating pattern of harassment, defamation, and blatant manipulation in front of law enforcement will be crucial in court, she said. It demonstrates her instability and her contempt for due process. It's an incredibly difficult path. Every day feels like navigating a psychological war zone, never knowing what new form of attack Laura will launch. The woman I married is not just gone. She's been replaced by a vindictive, erratic stranger who seems determined to destroy me. Update 2. Hi-all.

I've had some requests for more specific details on how Laura managed to conduct her affair with Daniel for so long and a deeper dive into her family background and past behaviors, which, in hindsight, were significant red flags. Peasing this together has been like assembling a very ugly mosaic. Regarding the mechanics of the affair, Laura was bolder and more reckless than I could have ever imagined, likely fueled by her arrogance and her belief in her own untouchability. Daniel, her subordinate, was apparently quite infatuated, and also naive. From the extensive message history on her laptop, and later corroborated by a very reluctant former colleague of Loras, who eventually came forward to my lawyer with information, written with guilt for staying silent, Laura leveraged her position of authority over Daniel quite

directly. She initiated most of their illicit interactions, often framing them as after-hours strategy sessions or informal team building. Daniel was relatively new to the company and the city, making him more susceptible to her influence. Her former colleague mentioned that Laura would assign Daniel to projects that required them to work late together, then suggest they grab a quick drink to unwind, which would then lead to more. Their clandestine meetups were shockingly frequent, at least twice a week for several months. They favored a particular madrange hotel chain,

choosing locations near their office but occasionally venturing further out. Laura, it turned out, had opened a separate credit card account in her own name, mailed to her office, which she used exclusively for the hotel rooms and gifts for Daniel. I was completely unaware of this account. Her excuses to me for her absences were varied. Late nights at the office due to pressing deadlines, mandatory networking events, team dinners I wasn't invited to because they were strictly work people.

The colleague recounted that Daniel, in his infatuation or perhaps his own arrogance, would sometimes make veiled boasts to other junior staff about his special connection with a senior manager. Some people in the office apparently suspected something inappropriate was occurring, but Laura had a reputation for a volatile temper and for holding grudges, so no one dared to confront her or report it. Her brazenness extended to company resources. She took Daniel on what she claimed was a crucial client acquisition trip to a nearby city for a weekend. In reality, it was a romantic getaway. She expensed a significant portion of it, meals, a rental car, claiming hers was in the shop,

and even some client entertainment which was actually tickets to a concert for her and Daniel, directly to the company. This level of recklessness eventually played a part in her dismissal from her job. After I filed for divorce and news of the affair and her generally erratic behavior started to circulate, partly due to her own public outbursts and partly through the corporate grapevine, her company launched an internal investigation. She was fired for gross misconduct and misuse of company funds. Naturally, she blamed me entirely for sabotaging her career by spreading vicious lies.

Now, regarding Laura's family and her background. Her parents, Eleanor and George, are the architects of her entitlement. Laura is their only child, and from what I've observed and what Clara has also noted over the years, she was raised in an environment where she was the center of their universe, rarely denied anything, and never truly held accountable for her negative actions. If Laura threw a tantrum as a child, or even as an adult, she usually got her way. If she failed an exam, it was the teacher's fault for not explaining things properly. If she lost a game, the rules were unfair or the opponent cheated.

They are comfortably upper middle class, not fabulously wealthy, but they possess enough resources and a certain social standing to smooth over any significant problems Laura encountered. A stark example of this, which Eleanor once recognized, counted to me with a strange sort of pride, as an example of Laura's spiritedness, was when Laura was in her first year of university. She was caught red-handed plagiarizing a significant term paper. The evidence was irrefutable, and she faced expulsion. Instead of Laura facing the consequences, Eleanor and George immediately hired a prominent lawyer who specialized in educational disputes. They threatened the university with a protracted and damaging lawsuit, alleging everything

from instructor bias to procedural unfairness. The university, likely wanting to avoid negative publicity and costly litigation, eventually allowed Laura to withdraw from the course without academic penalty and the plagiarism charge was quietly expunged from her record. This taught Laura a powerful lesson. Rules are for other people, and if you, or your parents, make enough noise or threaten enough trouble, you can get away with almost anything. During our marriage, even before the affair came to light, our arguments often followed a disturbing

pattern. Laura rarely engaged in rational discussion when she felt criticized or thwarted. Instead, she would resort to extreme emotional tactics. The silent treatment for days on end was a common one. Sometimes, she would accuse me of not loving her, of being cold or unfeeling, and then threatened to leave me, packing a bag dramatically, only to allow her. herself to be convinced to stay after hours of my pleading and reassurance. There were several occasions, during particularly heated arguments often about minor issues,

like my wanting a quiet weekend when she wanted to go out, where she would escalate to behaviors like hyperventilating until she nearly passed out, or lightly but repeatedly banging her head against a wall or doorframe. Crying out that I was driving her crazy or making her ill. At the time, I was genuinely worried about her. I would back down immediately, apologize even when I felt I'd done nothing wrong, and focus all my energy on soothing her. Now, I see these episodes with chilling clarity, they weren't signs of genuine distress, but calculated manipulative displays, burly warning signs of the profoundly unstable and explosive behavior I am grappling with now.

Her sense of ownership is absolute, extending not just to material possessions but to people. In her mind, I was not her part. but her possession. The house, despite its clear legal status as my inheritance, became her house the moment she moved in. The affair, I now believe, wasn't just about a fleeting search for excitement, it was about power and control. Power over Daniel, her subordinate, whom she could command and manipulate, and power over me, by maintaining this elaborate secret life, by deceiving me so thoroughly. The idea that I would dare to challenge her authority, expose her deceit, or attempt to remove her from her house is an intolerable affront to her entire worldview.

Her family's unwavering, uncritical support, even after learning the full extent of her affair and her subsequent actions, only serves to reinforce her deeply entrenched belief that she is the injured party and that I am the one acting unreasonably and cruelly. They consistently validate her narrative, telling her that I am the problem, that I am vindictive, and that she must fight tooth and nail for what's rightfully hers. This toxic echo chamber makes any rational negotiation or amicable resolution utterly impossible. Update 3 Hi Everyone It's been an incredibly long and draining hall since my last update, nearly a full year filled with legal wrangling, emotional turmoil, and constant stress. But I can finally report that this chapter is,

for the most part, closed. The court proceedings were every bit as contentious and ugly as my lawyer had predicted. Laura and her legal team employed a strategy of aggressive offense, attempting to paint me as of vindictive, controlling, and even abusive husband. Laura herself took the stand and, under her lawyer's careful guidance, delivered a tearful, Oscar-worthy performance. She testified that I was emotionally distant and financially controlling, despite bank records showing she had her own significant income and access to joint funds which she spent lavishly.

She claimed my discovery of her close friendship with Daniel was merely a pretext I manufactured to try and remove her from the marital home because I secretly wanted to sell it for a huge profit and cut her out. She even alleged that she had invested a substantial amount of her own premarital savings into the upkeep and improvement of the house, a claim for which she could produce no credible evidence in which our forensic account uneasily disproved. My lawyer systematically dismantled these fabrications with bank statements, emails, and testimonies from individuals like Sam, who had witnessed Laura's spending habits and her treatment of me, and even my sister Clara, who testified about Laura's general demeanor and past instances of financial irresponsibility. Laura's ludicrous pregnancy claim, which she had dramatically announced during my police-escorted visit to retrieve my belongings, was swiftly and embarrassingly exposed as a lie in the pretrial discovery phase. My lawyer had, quite reasonably, requested medical proof, doctor's visits, ultrasound reports, anything.

Laura, of course, could provide nothing. Her lawyer then feebly attempted to argue it was a pseudosciesis or hysterical pregnancy, brought on by the immense stress I had allegedly inflicted upon her. The judge A was visibly unimpressed by this explanation. This particular stunt significantly undermined Laura's credibility from the outset. There were numerous instances of Laura's characteristic courtroom theatrics. During one session, as my lawyer was calmly presenting documented evidence of her extravagant spending on Daniel, hotel bills from her secret credit card, receipts for expensive gifts, flight confirmations for their business trip,

Laura suddenly leapt to her feet. Shouting, he's twisting everything. He's a liar. I'm the victim here, can't you see? She actually tried to approach the judge's bench before being sharply called to order by the bailiff and admonished by the judge. On another occasion, when Daniel was subpoenaed by my lawyer to testify, he appeared extremely reluctant and visibly nervous but was legally compelled. Laura couldn't contain herself. As Daniel, under oath, began to confirm the details of the affair, admitting Laura's initiation and active pursuit of it,

and her subsequent threats to him to maintain his silence, Laura stood up and screamed across the courtroom, calling him a pathetic, lying traitor and a spineless coward. This outburst led to her being formally warned by the judge that another such display would see her removed from the courtroom. The battle over my aunt's house was, as expected, the most vicious part of the proceedings. My answer was crystal clear, and the property deed unequivocally listed me as the sole inheritor prior to our marriage. However, Laura's lawyer aggressively argued, for a significant portion of its current market value, citing marital asset claims based on the duration of our marriage and her supposed non-financial contributions and sweat equity in maintaining

and improving the property. We had to engage forensic accountants to meticulously trace every penny related to the house, proving that all mortgage payments. The mortgage was very small and nearly paid off when I inherited it, and I cleared the remainder with premarital funds, property taxes, insurance, and any significant upkeep or improvements came directly for my premarital savings or my sole, traceable income. Laura had contributed virtually nothing financially to the house itself. A significant turning point, I believe, came during the depositions of Laura's parents, Eleanor and George.

While they both attempted to steadfastly support Laura's narrative of victimhood and my supposed cruelty. My lawyer's precise and relentless questioning exposed new. inconsistencies in their stories and highlighted their long-standing pattern of enabling Laura's behavior and shielding her from consequences. Eleanor became increasingly flustered, defensive, and even aggressive under cross-examination, at one point accusing my lawyer of bullying her. George mostly appeared uncomfortable and defeated, often deferring to Eleanor or claiming not to

recall specific incidents. Their combined testimony, intended to bolster Laura's case, likely did more harm than good by painting a clear picture of a dysfunctional family dynamic rooted in entitlement. After their depositions, there was a noticeable shift in the demeanor of Laura's lawyer, he became slightly more subdued, perhaps recognizing the weakness of their overall position. Finally, a few weeks ago, after months of hearings, submissions, and delays, many initiated by Laura's side, the judge issued the final ruling. The divorce was granted on the grounds of irreconcilable differences, with a

the specific finding of Laura's infidelity being a contributing factor to the marital breakdown. Crucially, the house was confirmed as my sole and separate property, with no equity or financial interest awarded to Laura. This was an immense victory and a profound relief. In his summary, the judge made note of Laura's egregious conduct throughout the proceedings, including her false allegations, her attempts to manipulate the court, citing the pregnancy claim specifically, and her courtroom outbursts, stating these behaviors reflected poorly on her credibility.

Laura was formally ordered to vacate the property within 30 days. The day Laura moved out was incredibly tense. Following my lawyer's advice, I arranged for a civil standby, so two police officers were present to prevent any further incidents. Laura was sullen, radiating hostility. She didn't speak to me directly. She made a point of dragging out the process for the entire allotted time, moving with excruciating slowness. There was some minor, clearly vindictive, damage discovered after she left, several deep, deliberate scratches on the hardwood floor in the master bedroom.

A bizarre and crude scribble and permanent marker on a section of wall hidden behind a bookshelf in the study, and a few small, sentimental items of mine were missing. Nothing of significant monetary value, but personally meaningful. It wasn't substantial enough to warrant further legal action. But it was her final, petty signature on this destructive chapter of my life. As she was directed to leave by the officers, she didn't look at me, but she said to one of the officers, her voice carrying clearly, he'll regret this. People like him always get what's coming to them in the end. The officer simply nodded curtly and ensured,

she departed the premises. The financial settlement was the only part that left a bitter taste, though it was far less than Laura had demanded. Because she had been fired from her job, a direct consequence of her affair and related misconduct becoming known, and successfully argued that she currently had no means of support, the court ordered me to pay temporary spousal support. It's a modest amount, and for a strictly limited period, 18 months. My lawyer explained that such awards are fairly standard in our jurisdiction to allow a non-earning or significantly lower-earning spouse a transitional period to secure employment and become self-sufficient, irrespective of their conduct during the marriage, unless it involved criminal financial

fraud against the spouse. It stings to write those checks each month, knowing where the money is going after everything she put me through, but it's a small price to pay for my freedom and peace of mind. I am methodically counting down the days until those payments cease. I am, I've started the slow, arduous process of reclaiming my home and, more importantly, my life. The first act was to hire a locksmith to install new, high-security locks on all the doors. The house feels eerily quiet now, but it's a peaceful quiet. The relationship didn't just deteriorate, it catastrophically imploded, consumed by Laura's destructive choices and her absolute refusal to accept responsibility for any of her actions.

Thank you, once again, to everyone who has followed this story and offered words of support and encouragement. It's been one of the darkest and most challenging periods of my life, but I'm through it. That chapter is finally, definitively, closed. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse's closest pal delivered a phony pregnancy exam to me in order to split us apart, only for me to discover that he was deceiving her by claiming I was hostile so she would offer assistance. Him leave. So I met my husband, 25m, while I was, 22F, and we hit it off instantly.

He was the man of my dreams he took me on date nights and made sure I was loved and gave me big gifts every so often telling me I was the only one for him. I believe this since we have been together for four years now and I've never had any issues until he introduced his best friend who we will call Laura for privacy reasons. I remember we had an argument because he didn't tell me about her for our whole relationship and he had been sneaking to see her and hang out with her at parties when I was sleeping, believing that he was working overtime. I was hurt by this and my first thought immediately went to infidelity,

but I found all of their texts to be platonic after he willingly told me to look. I thought she was nice at first since when I first met her she spoke to me politely and said how lucky I was for about a week until there was a get-together and my husband invited me along because it was her mother's anniversary and her family loved my husband because they had known each other since they were kids. I was okay with this and quite excited since I wanted to make more female friends and have girls' nights out to relieve my work stress since my job is difficult and I make six figures. I should also mention my husband works in an office job that doesn't pay a lot so I handle all of the house bills and chores while he is trying to get another job. I walked into the house with my

husband and she ran to him happy and immediately wrapped her whole body around his arm and dragged him off to the garden. He didn't even come to get me or anything after being dragged away, so I went to the kitchen to ask for a drink where I was greeted by Laura's mother. She is a lovely person, we generally had a nice talk about our own lives and she made sure I felt welcome. The whole gathering was mainly nothing special till it got to the dinner. I sat down next to my husband and Laura walked up to me and asked me to move. I asked why since the only other spot available was next to her uncle and mother, and since it was about her mother, wouldn't she want to sit next to her?

Laura replied to the question with, because I want to sit next to him. I turned to my husband who just nodded and told me to move as well saying that I was being childish and making a scene. At this point I generally felt my blood boiling. I stood up and told my husband that I felt uncomfortable and that I need to go to the bathroom and asked where it was. Laura told me and I left the table doing breathing exercises trying to calm down. I ended up messaging my brother from the bathroom and he said I was being jealous and that I was overreacting, so I agreed and went back to the table to sit next to Laura's mother.

The whole time they were laughing and it seemed that everything he said was funny to her and she kept rubbing his back, touching his arms and saying how strong he had gotten and she would look at me smugly. The breaking point to all of this was when I put a bit of meat onto my plate and she said, are you really going to eat all of that? And I froze in embarrassment while my husband and her laughed. Her mother stood up for me saying that was inappropriate and to treat guests with respect, but she ignored it. Laura is very pretty and slim and works out so coming from her it hurt a lot. I stood up from my chair and walked out the front door and called my dad. I told him to pick me up and that I'll explain why in the car. When I got in the car I broke down and told him everything.

He said I was most likely overreacting but the situation was very odd and that I'm welcome to stay with him for the time being. I thanked him and went back to our house. While I was getting comfortable, my phone flooded up with messages from my husband and Laura. I read the messages and to my horror my husband was saying I ruined the whole dinner and that he was going to stay there for the night. I then read what Laura said, saying I had ruined her night because of my pick-me behavior. After doing research on that word, it's only filled me up with more anger. My husband came home around 5 p.m. from Loras and I immediately said leaving me and staying at another woman's house was disgusting and he started shouting that I'm overreacting again and that I need to go counseling

for my jealousy issues. For about a month everything was going okay again apart from that my husband got more distant and cold and I could feel that our argument wedged a gap in our marriage. Until I got a message from Laura this morning with a positive pregnancy result and a threat saying we should get divorced because it's my husbands. I don't know what to do and I'm just venting because I feel awful and I feel like I failed as a wife. I don't know if I should confront my husband and I'm thinking about it. Edit, I'm getting a lot of hate and death threats, so I'll clear up some allegations.

I'm 26, not 22. I met my husband when I was 22. I've not confronted him because he's not home yet and I'm contemplating calling and asking there, but he's not replied to my good morning text since he woke up before me and went to work. My dad owns a company that works with care homes not going to say a lot about it for my safety,

and that's how I make my money. No, I wasn't earning six figures at 22, but I am now at 26. No, my dad wasn't against me. He was just confused because I was crying to him and wasn't making a lot of sense, so he thought she was just being a bit touchy. No, Laura wasn't at our wedding,

and I have doubts they are childhood friends. I plan on messaging her mother to ask if they have known each other for as long as they say and I'll be confronting my husband tomorrow when he gets home. Update 1. First of all, I want to say how much I am thankful for all the love and support I have received and the advice has helped me so much.

It has really made me understand where I stand in my relationship and I finally know what I'm going to do. Also I'm 26, not 22. Now for the story, my husband came home around 6 a.m. to where he threw his keys on the side and went upstairs without saying anything to me. I thought this was a little rude and I walked up after him telling him we need to talk, but he said he was tired and needed to sleep which just made me angry because I was serious. I told him halfway up the stairs that I knew about him and Laura to which he then looked at me confused.

I explained my side in the text and what it seemed like and he ended up laughing in my face. This filled me up with so much petty rage because I have had enough of being walked on, so I pushed past him into our room and got a suitcase from under the bed and started to pack his stuff for him. He started shouting at me saying really horrible things, but I didn't hear most of it since I was crying uncontrollably and busy ramming every item of clothing he owned. Most of it didn't fit, but he could come collect it later. One insult that stood out to me was crazy bitch, and this is where I snapped and said some horrible things too. I know I called him a bad husband, but in more of a ruder tone.

He ended up leaving with his suitcase I packed in a plastic bag after I said I would get my dad involved if he didn't leave. After, I took a recommended comment and told my family everything. My brother didn't care but my father was so angry there might have been steam coming from phone after the call. I haven't heard from my soon-to-be ex-husband, but his response to my question was complete disrespect and I wasn't able to hold it in for much longer. I'm sure what I did was a complete overreaction and was regretting it till I texted Laura's mother since I said I would do that. She didn't reply till 11 a.m., but basically what happened is that she only met my husband two years ago, which I'm guessing is through the time of constant overtime from him. He is

also staying there currently. This made me so angry that I texted Laura something petty which I I don't regret. I hadn't replied to her yet so I told her that she can have him and I can't wait till the same things happen to her and she gets cheated on. She's not replied yet or seen it. I have screenshot everything she's said in the picture and will be calling a lawyer later on. Nothing else has really happened. If it does, I will give another update. Thanks everyone. Edit, sorry for bad grammar I've not slept very well and I'm about to go for a long needed sleep. Small update, husband messaged, and I ignored it and Laura left me on read. Husband messaged that he is sorry and wants to come home and needs to talk about Laura's message. Not sure what he's going to say about it, but I'm going to message him back to meet me somewhere because I don't want him in my house right now. Not sure what he's going to say, but I'm ready for the lies and gaslighting. Love you all smile. Edit, I'm really disappointed in Reddit.

I thought this could be a post event and have man. and woman help and give advice and listen to me so I can finally feel like I'm being hurt and I'm getting a lot of sexist comments and people spamming me saying scummy for lying and that they will find me. If you are one of these people please leave me alone. Yes, I have left out some information and I'm not updating immediately but I've been so tired these past two days and I really do not have the ability nor resistance to keep typing up massive updates. I need a rest and when I meet my husband, I will give one last update for the people who are supporting me and giving me amazing advice. You guys are so sweet and I appreciate you a lot. I took some time off of work to

figure stuff out, but I'm not looking forward to the amount piled up from my missed days. Love you all and I wish you all the best especially for the people that went through what I am going through now. Update 2. I have no idea how to start this. I'm at a loss for words and I feel generally sick and this is the lowest point I think I've recently hit mental state-wise. I'm going to try and be punctual for this, but I cannot stop crying and I feel so betrayed. Thank you all for the support and love you have given me and so for this it has motivated me to tell everyone what has happened. Laura called me early in the morning not sure why so late, but I wasn't doing much anyway. I was replying to comments and cleaning the kitchen swallowing in

self-pity, pathetic I know. She was shouting at me, calling me out for cheating on my husband first, and that my hypocrisy was laughable. I was genuinely mortified since I've never done that and asked her what she meant and apparently my husband, the man that's supposed to back me up and love me unconditionally told her a huge sob story lie. Apparently in our argument he told her I hit him out of a jealous rage and that I threw his stuff out the window, which is why he left.

I told her I was the one to kick him out and he didn't leave on his own accord and definitely never laid hands on him especially since he is six feet one inch and I am five feet four inches. She didn't believe me and told me the whole reason she had done the behavior in the first place was to teach me not to cheat and that my husband was a good man and that if I continued, another woman would take him better than me, but in the end she decided to end it for him so she sent me the messages. She agreed what she did was childish and also confessed to only liking him platonically and did him a favor because of all the horrible stuff I had done. I believe this was so she would take him in. I have no clue why he would lie about stuff this serious. After he was there for a while she told her mother the same story he told her and her mother has blocked me currently. I showed her the message my husband sent and after countless back and forth with her,

we ended up agreeing to meet and that I should cancel meeting up with my husband. She's at this point in time conflicted since I told her the lies were fake. She also said that my husband told her that I knew about her after she saw him and me on a post. I'm guessing she did some snooping and my husband wasn't very private online. So she asked why I never was mentioned and he said the conversation never came up and that's where the lies begun, I'm guessing. The day where he didn't come home till five was because she told him that she was going to send the picture of her friend's old pregnancy test to me and pretend it's hers so he could not continue with being treated like that. And he actually went to hers instead of going home to be confronted and hoped it would all blow over in the morning. Laura also confessed that he also tried to entice her into having sex with him which she said no and thought it was a little odd.

I'm guessing this caused her to call me since that moment was a red flag to her and was still on his side but wanted to hear my side before she blocked me. I want nothing to do with him and even the thought of him fills me up with hate. I've never met a man so disgusting. I never have once laid hands on my husband and the allegations completely disrespect people who are actually stuck in those spousal situations. I don't know how much more I can put up with this and everything is really getting to me. I'm genuinely sick and will certainly not be meeting him and want nothing to do with him. But hopefully meeting Laura to properly explain the truth. I doubt anything else interesting will happen, just boring legal stuff.

If it does I most likely won't make another update since I'm feeling mentally drained. Thank you everyone. Edit, given up with trying to block people who are trolls just going to reply to them and hope they delete their comments or don't reply anymore. Next story, cousin falsely exceeded me of stealing her wedding jewelry on social media, then I found out she was trash talking me behind my back, so I sent her a legal letter. Hey, Reddit, I'm in a tough spot and could really use some outside perspective on this situation. So, my cousin Emma and I have never been particularly close, but we've always been civil. When she got engaged in December 2022, I sent her a thoughtful present, which she thanked me for repeatedly.

Fast forward to February, and Emma invited me to her wedding in April 2024. Living abroad and starting a new job, I made it clear that I needed advance notice to attend, and thankfully, I managed to make it. Emma asked me to be part of her wedding entry, and despite our not being very close, I agreed, hoping it would help us build a better relationship. However, just a week before the wedding, I found out she'd been talking negatively about me and my career as a project manager. It stung, but I didn't want to cause drama before her big day, so I kept quiet. During the wedding weekend, I helped Emma get dressed for her Hindu ceremony, and her mom told me to leave the jewelry as she would handle it later.

So, I only packed away the Bengals. The entry went smoothly, and I attended the reception without any complaints. However, after the wedding, I chose not to leave a gift, intending to address the hurtful comments privately after the festivities. Days later, Emma asked me about the missing jewelry, and I told her I hadn't touched it beyond what her mom instructed. Later that day, I saw Emma posting about missing jewelry and implying that someone in the family might have taken it. I felt uneasy, especially since her mom and I were the only family members helping her get dressed. Then things escalated when her sister made comments on the post saying, we didn't like her anyway. Her mom reached out to me, asking about the Bengals, which made me feel. feel like they were singling me out. Even my grandmother called, further cementing that they may

have discussed me as a suspect. Finally, another cousin messaged me saying the jewelry was found boxed up in a car. But Emma refuses to retract her accusations online because she's embarrassed. Feeling betrayed, I chose to cut Emma and her mom out of my life. I deleted them from my socials and blocked their numbers. Now, my grandma is upset, saying I was unfair. for not explaining myself. So, Reddit, am I the jerk for cutting them off without explanation? Should I have handled the situation differently? Thanks for your insights. Additional information from OOP, I would like to add that Emma and I are first cousins. Jessica, who told me about the update, is a second cousin who is distant from Emma. So it sounds

like this was being discussed with everyone but me. Thankful that Jessica heard it and decided to let me know immediately. Update 1, I read through the majority of messages received and I agree, I should have confronted it. Last night, I called Grandma and Emma on three-way, asking about the jewelry that was conveniently found in a car. Emma said that wasn't for me to find out as she only told her mother and grandma. Obviously a lie because Jessica heard and passed it to me. She also lives abroad and isn't close to Emma. Grandma then said, well, it's material and it's found. We don't have a long time here, let's all get along. I responded, no, thank you. I needed a public apology because I blindly believed Emma and I had a good relationship.

I even heard she made comments about my job, which I wanted to address after the wedding. Emma confirmed the comments about talking shit, re, my job and her sister's comment, but is sticking to her guns about the jewelry. I mentioned to her I was posting about the jewelry and will attach screenshots to it. And that I wanted nothing further to do with Emma since she was not remorseful and is proud of disliking me for whatever reason. Lesson learned. Thanks everyone. Update 2, after consulting with an attorney friend and compiling all relevant evidence, including screenshots and messages, we took the step of sending a legal letter to my cousin. Additionally, I made a post, tagging family members, family friends who attended the event,

the priest who officiated, and even her neighbors. Yup, my petty ass went the extra mile to bring awareness of the situation. Important announcement regarding Emma's wedding. Hello everyone in the Brown family. I hope this message finds you well. I feel compelled to address a matter that has been weighing on my mind since Emma's wedding last April. Firstly, I want to express my gratitude to Emma for inviting me to be a part of her special day. It was an honor to participate.

and I was genuinely touched by the opportunity. However, recent events have left me deeply disheartened. It has come to my attention that there have been discussions, both prior to and following the wedding, where unkind remarks were made about me and my profession. While this was hurtful, I chose to handle the situation delicately and intended to discuss it with Emma after the wedding to gain clarity. Despite the hurtful comments,

I remained committed to supporting Emma on her wedding day. I assisted her with changing outfits and took care of her belongings as requested. Regrettably, shortly after the wedding, I was unfairly implicated in the disappearance of some jewelry. Subsequent discussions with Emma revealed that there were private conversations insinuating my involvement, which left me feeling unfairly targeted. It was only through the disclosure from a third party that the truth about the jewelry's whereabouts emerged. I confronted Emma about these revelations, hoping for resolution and understanding. However, her response was dismissive, and she refused to acknowledge the hurtful nature of her actions. Instead, she chose to maintain hurtful social media posts, causing further

distress. In light of these events, I have made the decision to distance myself from Emma and her immediate family. My conscience is clear, and I refuse to tolerate such unjust treatment. Furthermore, I want to assure you all that I am taking the necessary steps to clear my name. I am in contact with legal counsel to draft a letter and seek exoneration from these false accusations. I share this message not out of spite or animosity but to set the record straight and reclaim my integrity. The end. Thank you everyone who supported, gave advice, and comforted me. Looking forward to going on my vacation tomorrow while Emma spends the next few days dealing with edit. As of 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time, Emma has still not rescinded those posts.

As of this morning, Emma has pulled her posts. Grandma is saying that I was unfair to go public and she is disappointed in me. I explained to Grandma that after our three-way conversation, it was clear I was being accused. It was not fair to be unjustly accused and not notify the public that the jewelry was found because Emma wanted to save face. Emma's mom and sister have tried to reach out to me via friend requests. I want nothing to do with them until Emma issues an earnest public and person. private apology. Since my last update regarding the post, multiple family members and family friends have reached out to me about what a crappy person Emma is. Some expressed disappointment

in her actions to protect her facade and her treatment of me when I had been supportive and sincere to her on her big day. I thought that was rather amusing. Edit, since someone assumed I'm putting up with my grandma's shit, she was cut off after that conversation. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse's former acquaintances persuaded her to stage a mock romantic deception on me as a way to assess my attentiveness. However, their plan went awry when I decided to, to file for divorce instead. So my wife Sarah and I have been married for eight years and things have been good, not perfect but good. We both work full-time jobs and we've got our routines and our weekend plans and date nights maybe once a month when we're not too tired from work and I thought we were doing fine. Maybe not like honeymoon phase fine, but normal married couple fine where you're comfortable

with each other and don't need to be all over each other every second of the day. But apparently Sarah's been talking to her divorced friends about our marriage and they've been filling her head with all this garbage about how I'm not attentive enough and not romantic enough and how she needs to make me fight for her or some ridiculous nonsense like that. And I'm finding all this out after the fact which makes it even worse because while I'm going through literal hell thinking my wife is cheating on me, she's planning this whole elaborate scheme with her bitter friends who can't stand that someone else might actually have a decent marriage. It started about six weeks ago when Sarah began acting different, like really different,

she was suddenly working late all the time and coming home with this guilty look on her face but also kind of excited and secretive and when I'd ask her about her day she'd get all vague and change the subject. And she started dressing nicer for work and taking longer getting ready in the morning and putting on perfume when she never used to wear perfume to work before. At first I thought maybe she was planning a surprise for me or something because our anniversary is coming up in a few months. But then she started getting texts at weird hours and she'd grab her phone real quick when it buzzed and turn it face down and when I asked who was texting her so late she'd say it was just work stuff or her sister but she'd get all flustered and defensive

about it. Then there was the night she came home at almost midnight and said she'd been out with the girls but she smelled like men's cologne and her lipstick was smudged, and when I asked her about it she said she must have hugged someone goodbye, but she couldn't look me in the eye when she said it. And I'm not an idiot, I know what it looks like when someone's been kissing someone else. I started paying more attention after that and the signs just kept piling up, she was taking phone calls in the other room and hanging up quick when I walked in. She was doing laundry more often and being weird about it like she didn't want me to see certain clothes,

she was showering as soon as she got home from work which she never used to do, and she kept mentioning this new guy at her office named Jake and how funny he was and how he'd helped her with some project. The Jake thing really got to me because she'd bring him up in conversation but then catch herself and change the subject, and when I asked her more about him she'd get all weird and say he was just a coworker, but she'd already told me too much about him for him to be just some random coworker. Like she'd mentioned that he drives a motorcycle and that he's recently divorced

and that he's really into rock climbing and all these personal details that you don't usually know about random co-workers. I tried talking to her about how distant she'd been acting and she just brushed me off and said I was being paranoid and that she was just stressed about work and tired and needed some space, but the more space I gave her the worse it got and the more obvious it became that something was going on. And I'm not the type of person to just stick my head in the sand and pretend everything's fine when it's clearly not. The breaking point was two weeks ago when she said she was going to dinner with her sister, but then I saw her sister at the grocery store and when I mentioned that Sarah was supposed to be with her, her sister got this confused look and said she hadn't made any plans with Sarah. And that's when I knew for sure that she was lying to me and probably meeting up with this Jake guy.

I confronted her when she got home that night and asked her point blank if she was having an affair and she got all upset and started crying in saying how could I think that about her and that she loved me and would never cheat on me. But she still couldn't explain where she'd actually been or why she'd lied about being with her sister, and when someone can't give you a straight answer about something that's simple, you know they're hiding something big.

I didn't sleep at all that night and I kept thinking about all the signs and all the lies and how she'd been treating me like an idiot for weeks, and I realized that I couldn't keep living like this, wondering every day if my wife was being faithful to me or not. And I decided that I needed to either find out the truth or end things because this limbo was killing me. So I started planning to hire a private investigator because I needed proof before I did

anything drastic, I didn't hire one, and I was researching divorce lawyers online just to know my options. And I was honestly preparing myself for the worst-case scenario where I'd have to start my whole life over because my wife had been cheating on me with some motorcycle riding rock climber from her office. But then last Tuesday everything changed and I found out the truth but in the worst possible way. Sarah's friend Lisa called me completely drunk and rambling about how proud she was of Sarah for finally taking their advice and making me jealous and how it was working so well because I was

finally paying attention to Sarah again, and I had no idea what she was talking about so I asked her to explain and that's when the whole thing came out. Apparently Sarah and her divorced friends, Lisa and Monica and Jennifer, had been planning this whole fake affair thing for months as a way to make me more attentive and romantic, and they'd convinced Sarah that the the best way to get a man to appreciate what he has is to make him think he might lose it. Which is the most twisted logic I've ever heard in my life. Lisa told me that they'd even helped Sarah come up with all the details about Jake, who apparently is a real co-worker but Sarah's never even had a conversation with him beyond basic work stuff.

And they'd been coaching her on how to act suspicious and secretive to make me think she was cheating, and they thought it was hilarious that their plan was working so well and that I was finally acting like a jealous husband who was fighting for his wife. I hung up on Lisa and just sat there for like an hour trying to process what I just heard, and I went through every emotion you can imagine. First I was relieved because she wasn't actually cheating, then I was confused because why would someone do this to their spouse, then I got angrier than I've ever been in my entire life because I realized that my wife had been torturing me for weeks on purpose.

When Sarah got home that night I told her that Lisa had called and spilled everything and I watched her face go white and then she started crying and apologizing and saying it had just been a silly joke and that she never meant for it to go so far and that she was going to tell me the truth soon anyway. But I was so angry I could barely speak and I told her that pretending to cheat on your husband isn't a joke, it's emotional abuse. She kept trying to explain how her friends had convinced her that our marriage was getting stale and that I was taking her for granted, and that she just wanted me to show her more attention and appreciation, and she said that the plan had worked because I had been more affectionate and attentive over the past few weeks. Which made me even angrier because she was right, I had been trying harder because I thought I was losing her.

I told her that what she'd done was sick and manipulative and that instead of just talking to me about feeling unappreciated, she'd chosen to make me think she was having an affair and watch me suffer for weeks. And that I'd lost sleep and lost weight and been miserable every single, day thinking that my marriage was falling apart, and she just kept saying she was sorry and that she'd made a mistake. But here's the thing, and this is what everyone keeps not understanding when I try to explain this to them, it wasn't just a mistake or a bad joke, it was a calculated campaign to mess with my head and my emotions, and it worked exactly like they planned it to work.

Which means Sarah sat there every day watching me be suspicious and worried and jealous and she knew exactly why I was feeling that way because she was causing it on purpose. The more I thought about it the angrier I got because I realized that every time I tried to talk to her about how distant she was being, she'd made me feel like I was being paranoid and insecure, and every time I'd asked her about working late or getting mysterious texts, she'd acted like I was being controlling and jealous. When the whole time she knew that her behavior was designed to make me feel exactly that way. And the worst part is that her friends thought this was funny, they thought it was entertaining to watch me suffer and doubt myself and my marriage.

And they were probably talking about me behind my back and laughing about how gullible I was and how well their stupid plan was working, and Sarah was part of all of this, she was actively participating in making me the butt of their joke. I told Sarah that I needed some time to think, but in reality, I knew I couldn't spend another second in that house. I spent the next hour blindly throwing my clothes and other personal stuff into bags and boxes. Not knowing how long I'd be gone, I dropped most of it at a nearby storage facility before taking just enough to get by over to my brother's house. While I was there, I couldn't stop thinking about what this meant for our marriage and whether I could ever trust her again,

because if she could lie to my face for weeks and watch me suffer and think it was justified because her friends told her to do it, then what else might she be capable of? My brother and my parents and even some of my friends think I'm overreacting and that I should forgive her because she wasn't actually cheating and she was just trying to get my attention, but they don't understand what it felt like to live through those weeks thinking that my wife was betraying me and that my marriage was a lie. And they don't understand that the emotional damage from thinking someone you love is cheating on you is the same whether they're actually cheating or just pretending to cheat. I kept imagining her with this Jake guy and wondering what I'd done wrong and how long it had been

going on and whether she'd ever really loved me or if she'd just been settling for me until someone better came along, and I was planning how I'd divide up our stuff and where I'd live and how I'd tell people that my marriage had failed. And all of that mental and emotional torture was completely unnecessary and caused by someone who claims to love me. Thankfully, the only simple part of the logistics was the house, since we only rent the apartment and the lease has always been in her name, which meant I was definitely the one who had to leave. After four days at my brother's house I'd made up my mind and I went to see a divorce lawyer, and when I told him the whole story he said he'd never heard anything quite like it, but that emotional abuse and manipulation were

definitely grounds for divorce. And that what Sarah had done showed a fundamental lack of respect for me and for our marriage. I went home and told Sarah that I'd filed for divorce and she completely lost it and started screaming and crying and begging me not to leave her and saying that she'd do anything to make it up to me and that she'd never listen to her friends again and. That she'd learned her lesson, but I told her that the lesson she should have learned was not to torture your spouse for entertainment, and that's a lesson that adults shouldn't need to learn. She called her parents and my parents and started this whole campaign to get everyone to convince me to change my mind, and she kept saying that divorce was too extreme and that we should go to counseling and work through this. But I don't want to work through this because I don't want to be married to someone who thinks it's acceptable to emotionally manipulate me and then act like I'm the one being unreasonably.

when I don't appreciate it. Her friends Lisa and Monica actually had the nerve to call me and tell me I was being too sensitive and that it was just a harmless prank and that Sarah had learned her lesson and wouldn't do anything like this again, and I told them that if they thought what they'd done was harmless then they were even more messed up than I'd thought. And that they'd probably destroyed my marriage for their own entertainment because they couldn't stand seeing someone else happy when their own relationships had failed. Lisa got really defensive and said that Sarah had been complaining about

me not being romantic enough and not paying enough attention to her, and that they were just trying to help her get what she needed from her marriage. And I said that if Sarah had problems with our marriage, then she should have talked to me about them instead of conspiring with her bitter friends to play mind games with me. The thing that really gets me is that Sarah still doesn't seem to understand why what she did was so wrong. She keeps focusing on the fact that she didn't actually cheat and that it was all fake, like that makes it better somehow, but she doesn't seem to grasped that the emotional impact on me was exactly the same as if she had been cheating, and that doing it on purpose actually makes it a bit worse, not better.

I've been staying at my brother's house for two weeks now and Sarah texts me constantly begging me to come home and talk things through, and she sent me this long email about how she realizes she made a mistake and how she wants to go to marriage counseling and rebuild our trust. But I don't think trust is something that can be rebuilt after something like this because how do I know she won't decide to test me again the next time her friends give her bad advice. Everyone keeps asking me if I really want to throw away eight years of marriage over this one incident, but it's not one incident. It's weeks of calculated deception and manipulation, and it's the realization that my wife thinks so little of me

that she put me through emotional hell just to see if she could make me jump through hoops for her attention. The divorce papers were served yesterday and Sarah called me sobbing and begging me to reconsider, and she said that she'd cut contact with Lisa and Monica and Jennifer and that she'd do whatever it takes to earn back my trust, but I told her that the problem isn't her friends. The problem is that she thought what they were suggesting was a good idea in the first place. I know some people think I'm being too harsh and that I should give her another chance, but I keep thinking about those weeks when I couldn't eat or sleep properly because I was so worried about losing her.

And I keep thinking about how she watched me go through that and knew exactly why it was happening and let it continue anyway, and I just can't get past that. Maybe if she'd come clean after a few days and told me it was all fake I could have forgiven her, but she let it go on for weeks and she was prepared to let it go on even longer if Lisa hadn't gotten drunk and spilled the secret, and that tells me everything I need to know about what kind of person she really is. So that's where things stand right now, I'm getting divorced and everyone thinks I'm crazy for leaving my wife over a harmless prank, but I know that what she did wasn't harmless and it wasn't a

It was a betrayal of everything that marriage is supposed to be about. And I'm not going to spend the rest of my life wondering what other tests she might decide to put me through. Ida for divorcing my wife over this. Because everyone keeps making me feel like I'm the one being unreasonable here. Update 1. Holy crap. I didn't expect this to blow up like it did and I've been reading through all the comments and messages and I have to say that it's been both validating and overwhelming to see so many people who understand why this was such a big deal to me. A lot of people have been asking for more details

about what exactly Sarah did during those weeks and how her friends were involved, so I'll try to fill in some of the gaps because honestly writing it all out the first time was kind of therapeutic and helped me process everything that happened. So Sarah's friend group consists of Lisa who got divorced two years ago after her husband cheated on her with his secretary, Monica who's been divorced twice and is currently dating some guy she met on a dating app who she complains about constantly. And Jennifer, who separated from her husband last year and the divorce just got finalized a few months ago, and they meet up every Thursday night for what they call wine night, but what's really just a session where they sit around complaining about men and relationships.

I used to think it was harmless and actually encouraged Sarah to go because she seemed to enjoy it and I figured everyone needs friends and hobbies, but now I realize that these women have been poisoning her against me for months. Telling her that I'm too comfortable in our marriage and that I don't appreciate her and that she needs to shake things up to remind me what I could lose. The specific things Sarah did during those six weeks were even worse than I mentioned in my original post, like she started working out more and buying new clothes and when I complimented her she'd act all mysterious and say she was just trying to feel better about herself, which

made me think she was trying to look good for someone else. She also started being really critical of me in ways she'd never been before, like commenting on how I dressed for work or suggesting that I needed to get a better haircut or asking why I never planned surprise dates anymore. And at the time I thought she was just going through some kind of midlife thing but now I know she was following a script that her friends had given her to make me feel insecure and inadequate. The phone calls and texts were all fake too. Lisa and Monica would text her at random times and call her in the evening so she could act all secretive and guilty, and they'd even research this Jake guy at her office so they could give her realistic details to drop into conversations. Like they looked him up on social media and found out about his motorcycle and his hobbies so Sarah would have authentic seeming information to share. But here's the part that really gets me, Sarah told me that they'd made a whole timeline for this thing, like they'd planned for it to go on for two or three months. and they had different phases mapped out where Sarah would gradually escalate the suspicious

behavior to make me more and more jealous and desperate to win her back. Phase 1 was just being distant and secretive, phase 2 was the fake texts and calls and working late, phase 3 was supposed to be her actually going out and staying out late and coming home with obvious signs that she'd been with someone else. And phase 4 was going to be her disappearing for entire nights and letting me think she was having full-blown affairs. Thank God Lisa got drunk and ruined their plan before they got to phases three and four because I honestly don't know how I would have handled thinking that Sarah was spending nights with

another man, I was already barely hanging on just from the stuff she did in phases one and two. Sarah also admitted that they'd been taking pictures and videos of her during this whole thing, like documenting how upset and worried I was getting and how their plan was working, and they thought it was hilarious that it started bringing her flowers and planning date nights because I was trying so hard to save our marriage. That might be the most messed up part of all of this, that they were literally documenting my pain and treating it like entertainment, and Sarah was not only okay with this but actively participating in it

by reporting back to them about how I was reacting to each new lie she told me. A lot of people in the comments asked if Sarah seemed to enjoy what she was doing or if she seemed conflicted about it, and honestly looking back I think she was getting off on the power and control aspect of it, like she seemed energized and excited during those weeks in a way that I hadn't seen in years. And I thought it was because she was falling in love with someone else, but now I think it was because she was enjoying the manipulation. She'd come home from work with this secretive smile and she'd watch me try to figure out what

was different about her, and when I'd ask questions she'd give me just enough information to keep me guessing but not enough to actually ease my worries. And there were definitely times when I caught her looking almost amused by how anxious and confused I was. I also found out that her friends had been giving her advice on how to gaslight me, like when I confronted her about lying about being with her sister. They'd coached her to turn it around on me and make me feel guilty for not trusting her and for being paranoid and controlling, which is exactly what she did. And when I tried to talk to her about how distant she'd been acting, they told her to make me feel like I was being needy and clingy and that I needed to give her space,

which again is exactly what she said to me. So this whole thing was like a coordinated psychological attack designed to make me doubt my own perceptions and feel like I was the problem. The more details I learn about what they actually did, the angrier I get and the more sure I am that I made the right decision by filing for divorce, because this wasn't some innocent prank that got out of hand, this was a deliberate campaign to emotionally abuse me for their entertainment. Sarah has been leaving me voicemails every day begging me to reconsider and promising that she'll never speak to those friends. again and that she'll do whatever it takes to make this right, but the damage is done and I don't think there's any coming back from something like this. I've also been getting calls from her parents and even her sister asking me to give Sarah another chance in saying that she's learned

her lesson and that everyone makes mistakes, but this wasn't a mistake, this was a choice that she made every single day for six weeks, and she had multiple opportunities to stop it and tell me the truth. But she chose to keep it going. Her sister actually said that I was being cruel by refusing to even talk to Sarah about working things out, and I told her that what's cruel is watching your spouse suffer and worry and doubt themselves while you know exactly why they're suffering and you're causing it on purpose. The divorce is moving forward and I'm honestly feeling more at peace with my decision every day, especially as I learned more about how planned and calculated this whole thing was, because

I realize now that the woman I thought I married doesn't actually exist. And the real Sarah is someone who thinks it's acceptable to torture the person she claims she claims to love for entertainment. Some people have asked if I'm worried that I'm making a mistake and that I'll regret this later, but honestly I feel like I'm finally seeing clearly for the first time in weeks, and what I see is that I deserve better than someone who would do something like this to me. Update 2 Things have gotten even more insane since my last update and I honestly don't know whether

to laugh or scream at this point, but I wanted to give everyone an update because there have been some new developments that make this whole situation even more ridiculous. ridiculous than it already was. So Sarah apparently decided that since begging and crying wasn't working, she needed to try a different approach, and she's now claiming that the whole fake affair thing was actually my fault because I wasn't paying enough attention to her and she felt neglected and unappreciated in our marriage. She sent me this long text message yesterday explaining how she'd been dropping hints for months about wanting more romance and attention and how I'd been ignoring all her signals, so she felt like she had no choice but to do something

drastic to get through to me. And she actually used the phrase you forced me to fake an affair which is possibly the most insane thing I've ever heard in my life. According to her new version of events, this wasn't a prank at all, it was a legitimate attempt to communicate her needs to me after I'd failed to pick up on her more subtle attempts, and she seems to genuinely believe that what she did was justified because I hadn't been meeting her emotional needs. I showed this text to my lawyer and he just shook his head and said he's never seen someone dig themselves into a deeper hole so effectively, because now instead of just admitting she made a mistake and asking for forgiveness, she's actually trying to justify what she did and blame me

for driving her to it. But wait, it gets worse, because apparently Sarah has been talking to some of her other friends and co-workers about our situation. And she's been telling people that I'm divorcing her because she tried to spice up our marriage and that I'm being unreasonably jealous and controlling by not appreciating her efforts to make our relationship more exciting. I found this out because my friend Dave works at the same company as Sarah and he pulled me aside yesterday to ask me what the hell was going on because people at Sarah's office are apparently talking about how I'm filing for divorce over some harmless flirting and jealousy games, and they think I'm completely overreacting.

Dave knows me well enough to know that this didn't sound right, so he asked me for the real story, and when I told him what actually happened he was completely shocked and said that Sarah had been describing it as just some playful teasing to make me more attentive. not a psychological manipulation campaign. So now I'm dealing with the fact that Sarah is actively rewriting history and making me look like the bad guy to anyone who will listen, and I'm sure her divorced friends are backing up her version of events because they were the ones who came up with this stupid plan in the first place.

I decided I needed to protect myself from this narrative she's creating, so I actually saved all the voicemail she left me right after I found out the truth, where she was crying and apologizing and admitting that it was all fake and that she'd made a terrible mistake. Because I have a feeling I'm going to need proof of what actually happened when she tries to make me look like the villain. Speaking of her friends, Lisa apparently sobered up and realized that she'd blown up their whole scheme, so she called me to try to do damage control and convince me that what they did wasn't really that bad and that I should give Sarah another chance.

But instead of helping her case, she just made it worse by revealing even more details about how planned and deliberate this whole thing was. She told me that they'd actually been planning this for three months before they started implementing it, and that they'd researched different ways to make men jealous and possessive and had chosen the fake affair approach because they thought it would be the most effective way to get me to step up my game as a husband. She also mentioned that they'd been documenting the whole thing in a group chat, sharing updates about how I was reacting and celebrating each time their plan worked to make me more anxious or attentive, and she said they'd been calling a project wake-up call which makes me sick to think about. But here's the part that really made my blood boil, Lisa said that they'd actually been disappointed that it took me so long to confront Sarah about the affair because they thought I'd get jealous

and possess it much sooner, and they were starting to think that maybe I just didn't care enough about Sarah to fight for her. So not only did they torture me for six weeks, they were actually critiquing my performance as a worried husband and wondering if I was going to react strongly enough to make their experiment worthwhile, like I was some kind of lab rat that wasn't performing up to their expectations. Lisa also told me that Monica had suggested they should push things even further and have Sarah actually go on a fake date with some guy just to see how far they could push me before I snapped. But thankfully they decided that was too risky because they were afraid I might actually

hire a private investigator or do something else that would expose their plan. The fact that they even considered escalating it that far shows me that these are these women have absolutely no boundaries or sense of decency, and they would have kept pushing until they completely destroyed my mental health if they hadn't been stopped by their own stupidity. I also found out that Sarah's parents knew something was going on because she'd asked them for advice about how to make me more romantic and attentive, but she told them she was just planning some surprises and wanted to shake up our routine, so they had no idea she was actually planning to fake an affair.

her parents found out the truth after I filed for divorce they were apparently horrified and told Sarah that what she'd done was completely unacceptable, but they're still trying to convince me to give her another chance because they don't want to see their daughter's marriage end over this. Her dad actually called me yesterday and said that he understood why I was angry but that Sarah had learned her lesson and that divorce seemed like an extreme reaction, and I told him that what his daughter did was extreme and that my reaction was proportionate to the damage she'd caused. I also told him that if someone other than Sarah had done this to me, like if a stranger had spent six weeks making me think my wife was cheating just for their own entertainment,

he would probably want me to press charges, and the fact that it was his daughter who did it doesn't make it any less harmful or twisted. He didn't really have an answer for that, and I think he's starting to understand that this isn't just some marital spat that can be fixed with counseling and apologies. The divorce proceedings are moving along and my lawyer says we should be able to get this wrapped up fairly quickly since we don't have kids and our finances aren't too complicated, and honestly I just want it to be over so I can start rebuilding my life without having to deal with Sarah's attempt to manipulate the narrative. I'm also planning to move to a different part of town once the divorce is final because I don't want to run into Sarah or her

friends at the grocery store or the gym or anywhere else, and I figure a fresh start in a new neighborhood will help me put this whole nightmare behind me. Some people have asked if I miss Sarah or if I'm having second thoughts about the divorce, and honestly I missed the person I thought she was, but I don't miss the person she actually turned out to be. And I'm actually feeling relieved that I found out what she was capable of before we had kids or bought a house together or made any other major commitments. I keep thinking about what would have happened if Lisa hadn't gotten drunk and spilled the secret, and how long Sarah would have been willing to let me suffer thinking she was cheating

on me, and I realized that the woman I thought I married would never have been able to watch me go through that kind of pain without telling me the truth. But the real Sarah watched me lose weight and lose sleep and walk around in a constant state of anxiety and worry, and not only did she not feel bad about it, she was actively enjoying it and reporting back to her friends about how well their plan was working. That's not someone I want to be married to, and that's not someone I can ever trust again, and I'm done feeling guilty about protecting myself from someone who clearly doesn't have my best interests at heart. Update 3 I thought I was done updating this situation but something happened yesterday that

was so unbelievable that I had to share it because I literally could not make this stuff up if I tried, and it's like Sarah and her friends are determined to prove that they're even worse people than I originally thought. So the divorce has been proceeding normally and were supposed to finalize everything next week, and I thought the drama was mostly over except for Sarah's occasional attempts to contact me and beg me to reconsider, but apparently her friends are going to do it. decided they needed to make one last attempt to fix the situation they created. Monica called me yesterday afternoon and said she wanted to meet up to talk about Sarah and

how we could work things out, and against my better judgment I agreed to meet her for coffee because I was curious about what she could possibly have to say that would change anything. So we met at this coffee shop and Monica started off by apologizing for her role in the whole fake affair thing and saying that she realized now that it had been a mistake and that they'd gone too far, and I thought maybe she was actually going to take some responsibility for what they'd done. But then she said that she had a confession to make and that she needed to tell me something that might change how I felt about divorcing Sarah, and she looked all serious and dramatic like she was about to reveal some big secret that would make everything make sense.

What she told me next was so ridiculous that I actually started laughing, because Monica claimed that the real reason they'd come up with the fake affair plan was because Sarah had confided in them that she suspected I was cheating on her, and they thought that making me jealous would either prove that I was faithful or expose my own affair. According to Monica's new story, Sarah had been worried for months that I was having an affair because I'd been working late sometimes and I'd changed my phone password and I'd been going to the gym more regularly, and she'd asked her friends for advice on how to find out if her suspicions were correct.

Monica said that they'd suggested the fake affair plan as a way to test my loyalty, because if I was cheating then I wouldn't care if Sarah seemed to be cheating too, but if I was faithful then I'd get jealous and fight for our marriage, which would prove that I still loved her and wasn't stepping out on her. I just stared at her for a minute because this was such obvious nonsense that I couldn't believe she expected me to buy it, and then I asked her why Sarah had never mentioned being suspicious of me during any of our conversations about the divorce.

And why she'd never brought up these concerns when she was apologizing and begging me to take her back. Monica got all flustered and said that Sarah was embarrassed about being suspicious and didn't want to accuse me of cheating without proof. So she'd kept her concerns to herself and just asked her friends for advice on how to handle the situation. But here's the thing, I know this is complete bullshit because Sarah had no reason to be suspicious of me, I've never cheated on anyone in my life and I've never even been tempted to cheat. And the things Monica mentioned as red flags are just normal life stuff that any married person would recognize as completely innocent. I work late sometimes because I have deadlines and projects that require extra hours,

I changed my phone password because I got a new phone and needed a more secure password for work apps, and I started going to the gym more because my doctor told me I needed to get more exercise after my last physical. None of these things would make a normal person suspicious of cheating, and Sarah never acted like she was worried about any of this stuff, she never asked me about working late or about my phone or made any comments about the gym, so I know Monica is just making this up to try to justify what they did. I told Monica that her story didn't make any sense and that it sounded like she was trying to rewrite history to make Sarah look like the victim instead of the

perpetrator, and she got defensive and said that I was being unreasonable and that Sarah really had been worried about our marriage. Then she said that even if Sarah's suspicions were wrong, the fake affair plan had actually worked because it had made me more attentive and romantic, and that our marriage might have been stronger than ever if I hadn't overreacted and filed for divorce. I told her that our marriage would have been stronger if Sarah had just talked to me about whatever concerns she had instead of conspiring with her bitter friends to psychologically torture me, and that the fact that she thought lying and manipulation were better options than honest communication told me everything I needed to know about her and her friends.

I stood up to leave and told Monica to lose my number and to tell her friends and my ex-wife to do the same. I said the only person I wanted to hear from was my lawyer and that their attempts to manipulate me further were only solidifying my decision. I walked out of the coffee shop leaving her sitting there with her jaw practically on the floor. I got in my car and just drove for a while, trying to wrap my head around the sheer audacity of their latest lie. They had gone from it was a harmless prank to you forced her to do it and now to we were actually testing your loyalty. It was like watching a master class in deflection and gaslighting, and honestly. Honestly, it was almost impressive in its depravity.

They were so committed to their narrative that they would invent entirely new realities to avoid taking a single shred of responsibility. I'm done being the butt of their joke. The punchline is that I'm finally free. Update 4. So it's finally done, after eight months of the most ridiculous, dragged out nonsense you could possibly imagine, the divorce is final. Eight months, and I swear every single day of it.

it Sarah or one of her genius friends found a new way to make me question my sanity, but I'm on the other side of it now and honestly, I'm just numb. The last time I updated you, Monica had tried to feed me that absolute garbage about how they were testing my loyalty, and I thought that was the peak of their insanity, but I was wrong, oh so wrong. For the next few months, Sarah's strategy shifted to this weird mix of playing the victim and then sending these formal, emotional emails through her lawyer, like she wasn't the same person who was leaving me sobbing voicemails just a few weeks earlier. One minute she's telling mutual friends how I abandoned her at her lowest point, the next her lawyer is sending a demand for a goddamn fondue pot we got as a

wedding gift. Her parents kept trying to mediate, which was really just them asking me to forgive and forget because marriage is hard, and I had to tell her dad straight up, marriage is hard, yes, but what your daughter did was in marriage, it was a sick game, and I'm not playing anymore. I think that finally got through to him because they backed off after that. And get this, for the final mediation session, Sarah brought Jennifer with her for emotional support. Jennifer, one of the architects of Project Wake Up Call. She just sat there with this smug look on her face like she was some kind of relationship expert, and I just looked at my lawyer and told him I wasn't going to say a single word

while that woman was in the room. The mediator had to ask her to leave, and Sarah acted like I just committed the worst crime imaginable by not wanting one of the people who helped orchestrate my psychological torture to watch me divide up some of our assets. You can't make this stuff up. The day the papers were officially finalized was weird.

I got the email from my lawyer, and that was it. I'm still at my brother's place, though I'm looking for my own apartment now. I needed the time to just decompress and not be in the house we shared. I know I did the right thing, I don't have a single doubt about that, but it's still hard to accept that this is my life now. Dvorced at 36 because my wife and her friends thought emotional abuse would be a fun way to spice up our marriage. It's still the most insane thing I've ever been through, and I'm just glad it's finally over. I hope you enjoy this story.

Stuck at my partner's place experiencing intense. anxiety as his guardians yelled at him about spaghetti. After parting ways with him, I had a sudden realization. I mainly need to find clarity. This off my chest, I won't lie. Charlie lives 15 to 20 minutes away by car. We've been dating five months and it used to be my pleasure to drive up there and spend a few nights at his place.

I knew his parents are abusive and scream at him for nothing sometimes, physically assault him and take away his phone and computer. He will be able to get out of there by the end of the school year, when he gets an internship. His plan for the future is to have very limited to absolutely no contact with his shit family. I tried to make sure his family liked me, and it worked. I always try to be very agreeable and nice to them, and since they love keeping up appearances anyway, it worked pretty well. Some time ago, I'm going to guess about three to four weeks ago, I was staying over on a Sunday evening and I didn't have my car, because a friend of ours would come drive us to school in the morning.

The parents had been away all day, they came home in the evening, pretty drunk actually, and Charlie's little sister, 17F, went to complain that we ate too much lasagna or something. Okay, sibling trouble. His parents then proceeded to severely overreact to dumb sibling trouble by calling him in the kitchen, berating him, and screaming at him. He apologized and left me in the room while he went there, told me not to worry too much, is normal to him, it happens all the time. So there I was alone in his room, in the dark, absolutely panic because nothing terrifies me more than people screaming, helpless, alone,

in danger and with no way out, because I didn't even have my car there. I had been in this situation before and it went about the same way. I don't know how to really convey how terrified I was. So I was having one hell of a panic attack in crying like I was actively trying to shoot my eyes out of my sockets, and I hear a bang and loud. screaming, so I think they're attacking Charlie and I panic, some more, and go to the kitchen, again, in tears. I arrive and attempt to say something like, is everything okay in here, it comes out as what is wrong with you people, with a broken tearful, pathetic, screaming voice. Obviously I still regret this. It sounds like a bad excuse but I wasn't really in control

here. Next thing I know, Charlie's father, a terrifying motherfucker, is millimeters away from my face, screaming at me so hard I think he actually spluttered on my face. My first instinct was to block him with my arm and push him away as hard as I could, I'm frail, and from there my boyfriend finished the job by pushing him the hell away. It was a mess. Everyone was screaming. I was trying to get my phone, and kept repeating I'm calling my dad, I'm calling my dad, in the end I didn't.

I was still sobbing so hard my chest was actually hurting, at some point I thought I couldn't breathe anymore. When Charlie was done pushing the whole family away from me, he gently took me by the shoulders and led me outside to get away and calm down. He was very sweet and patient and seemed to know exactly what to do, including getting me out of there. His mother came out a few times on the doorstep to glare at us wordlessly. Charlie said, go away, can't you see she's not doing well,

can't you see this isn't normal behavior, she's not used to it. She tried arguing that I wasn't to speak to them this way, don't know if this is the correct wording, but he made her leave. He let me calm down, said it was a normal reaction, I kept apologizing and he didn't let me. He let me go inside to pack my bags and talk to his family in the meantime, so I didn't have to face them. We left through the window so they wouldn't try to stop us, and went to seek refuge at his aunt's place. Everyone there was very sweet and welcoming, everyone in the family knows Charlie's mom is a monster. I haven't faced Charlie's parents since. I refuse to.

Charlie told me he told his mom this isn't normal and she said, Do you think she's normal with her gross scars all over her arms? I used to self-harm and I haven't done it in years. My scars are very faded. She's just a disgusting, vile woman. The thought of talking to them makes me sick. I've ignored them the last time I saw them from far away. Last time I picked up my boyfriend I was very scared just from being in my locked car in front of the house for five minutes I know I'm not over it and need to process it.

I was actually hoping this thread would help me overcome the ADHD and finally text my therapist. My boyfriend seems to understand that I don't want to come back. I told him I probably wouldn't apologize to his parents and didn't want to see them. At least for now, I just can't. He seems to be getting sort of tired of it though. I feel bad that he has to come over, we both live with our families, though I try to make it as comfortable as possible and my family likes him. He has expressed today that he's sort of upset that he has to choose between being home and being with me. I don't think he understands how terrified I was and I don't

know how to tell him so he understands. I have this feeling that he's so used to it he just thinks I should stop feeling bad after a few days. That's sort of the way he acts sometimes though he keeps telling me it's all right I know it bothers him. I don't know what to do. Edit, thank you, I didn't expect so many responses. I don't know how to answer everybody but I appreciate every response, even those guys that tried to determine in what context it is okay to assault your child over lasagna. I'd like to stress that the reason I was so panicky is also because they have a history of physical abuse. I ran in when I thought they might be hitting Charlie. I agree I was overreacting. I disagree, though, that I owe them any excuses, because acting adequately anyway

would have been to leave quietly and never cross paths with these people again. Charlie and I are on the same team. We've been talking about this and I've been translating the comments for him. This post led to a sincere talk about how we were both feeling about it and that's ultimately what I wanted. I am not going back there and Charlie agrees with that fully. He said he didn't realize I took it so harshly and was still thinking about it. Obviously he's not a mind reader. Charlie is getting out in a few months. That's when we all leave the school we're both in for an internship, and until then we're going to make it work like this. Thank you. Update, what happened in the original post is, I had a boyfriend who has a physically abusive family. The boyfriend would convince me to stay

over at his house all the time, because I had a license and he was too lazy to get his. He insisted I play nice with his disgusting family so his life would be easier. I did so because I had lots of sympathy for his situation. He knew about my history of abuse and how scared I was of his father and how terrified I could get of everything sometimes, PTSD, but nagged me on staying over at his place because he didn't feel like going over to mine. That particular night he had convinced me to stay over without my car as a friend would pick us up to go to school in the morning. I forget why I didn't have my car, sorry. His parents came home and started screaming at him.

What I described as a panic attack was an emotional flashback to severe childhood abuse. When I heard what sounded like someone hitting my ex in the kitchen, I went there because I was afraid for him, and reverted to what would sometimes end the screaming matches in my family when I was younger and my brother was there, crying out for them to stop. In my family it leads to them switching for screaming to insulting me and being mad at me more quietly, I don't know why this works. Here it resulted in the father screaming in my face and me pushing him away instinctively.

Some posters commented on me saying I'll call my dad and not doing it. I didn't explain that I wouldn't have called my dad as I felt like this was all my fault. I said that to introduce the idea that another adult could hear them be this way and see if it would affect their behavior. Later we had to flee out of the window to go my ex's aunts. My ex caught me writing the last post. laughed at comments that said that he shouldn't want me to go back there and agreed with comments that said my decision was stupid. Which I guess it was. I didn't dare talk back to commenters and pretended like my ex 100% rejected his parents and was a good person.

What I didn't say is that he never got a job during the summer despite multiple family members offering him easy gigs, always wanted to go out for fast food and let me pay, told me that not everyone was as wealthy as I was when I complained. I'd gotten a summer job at a clinic despite crippling yet undiagnosed PTSD making me cry and hurt myself every morning and evening because I was so scared of interacting with people. Two months after that post he got tired of coming over and nagged me into apologizing to his parents. I went back, despite being absolutely terrified just being in the house. When he stayed over at my place where my parents left us alone, he stayed up all night playing fortnight despite me telling him I couldn't sleep. He didn't care, I was severely sleep deprived all the time. He would smoke on the balcony despite me asking him not to,

stomp around the house at night when everyone was asleep and then would sleep until sometimes 6 p.m., leaving me to wait around the house for him until it was dark and the day was practically over for me. He had no respect for the routine I'd set up for myself to exercise, be healthy and keep my head above the water. He got mad at me the one time I self-harmed, hit myself without thinking and left a bruised during a breakdown that took me days to recover from. Then told his female friend over Discord what I'd done after she admitted to doing the same, after he comforted her the way he never comforted me

and told her she was beautiful and unique. I had to buy him his tobacco, smoking paper, and filters to keep him from being horrible. He said he couldn't help it when he didn't smoke for a while. At the time I was still trying to quit smoking, and he kept giving me cigarettes and smoking around me, and not having a sig made me upset but not to the point of being mean to my partner.

He never brushed his fucking teeth. Got really fucking mad at me when I asked him to brush his teeth and ignored me. Combined this with 20 cigarettes a day. I was prescribed Paxil and it did nothing but give me bad side effects. When I went off it gave me terrible withdrawal symptoms, weird electric shocks, flu-like symptoms, and terrible, terrible despair and crying. I once spent an entire night crying my eyes out and being sick while he ignored. me and played fortnight, not even turning off the screen to let me sleep. He would punch

walls when he was mad. I would show up at his house to go to our planned date and he would be drunk and I had to sit down and wait for hours until he could move without puking. He would tell me he'd come to my house in the evening and be five hours late. Once he literally went to the cinema with a friend without telling me after he said he'd come over. He laughed at me when I was upset. He dragged me to parties when I said I was afraid of people, yelling and being drunk. He got mad at me until I went. He was either upset at me when I had to leave because I was terrified, or pretended to care about my well-being for five minutes and stayed at the party while I drove home sobbing. Until he drank a bottle of vodka and ate five edibles at once

because he thought that was some weak shit and then I had to come pick him up in my pajamas and hold him all night until he stopped crying about people's faces being made of colors. But you know the very worst in that relationship? I stayed while he was. was passed out drunk. I kept giving my money away after I said I didn't like it. I bought him more cigarettes. I didn't kick him out of my house. I drove him everywhere. I let him make fun of me and fuck with my head. I went back to his abusive household and played nice. So much of it is on me. I'm so very mad at him, but really I am so, so mad at myself. I can't believe this was all I thought I was worth. I moved to the UK from the south of France in May for an internship. I left him after he told

me I was just too fucking lazy to make food and I should stop fucking complaining because he's got real problems. In response to me being exhausted all the time and being literally too scared to go outside and go grocery shopping. Panic attacks level scared. His problems were him doing badly in school and not caring about it, and sleep apnea I'd been trying to get him to see the doctor and treat for six months. At this point he still wasn't trying to move out and was content letting him mom iron his t-shirts and playing video games all day and night while being silent on Discord calls with me. I'm still in the UK. I made a few friends. I discovered I have C-P-T-SD. It's very hard and I've been very alone. I feel a lot of shame. I've been making

sense of my life and relationships up till now. I needed to write this something. where people will see it. You don't have to stay with people who let you cry your eyes out over your dead cat while ignoring you and complaining that your parents' food is disgusting and he wants to go to Burger King and let you pay for it. Unlikely, thanks to that one commenter on my previous post that said I probably have PTSD and I should get out of that cluster fuck, that we all laughed at and downvoted at the time. Shears mate.

Edit Wasn't expecting so many comments. I can't answer. everyone, but I really appreciate it. Thanks so much for the support. Next story, boyfriend's brother asked him to break up with me because his new girlfriend got jealous at family dinner, then I found out he's actually mad because my BF bought me a ring. It's a bit of a long story.

I, 21F, and my boyfriend, 21M, have been together since we were 17. We have a healthy relationship, and I have a fantastic relationship with his family as well. I spent every Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and any events in between with his family. His mom and I get along really well, and my boyfriend annoyingly complains about how she calls me more than him. Same with him father, who's been a second father figure to me, and always reminds me I'm more like a daughter to him than his son's girlfriend. My boyfriend has an older brother, 24M, who I also get along with just fine, but he's more kept to himself so I don't know him as well as the rest. His older brother recently got himself a girlfriend, and actually the first time since I've met him, has he had a girlfriend. This Halloween weekend was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary, and they invited me over, as usual,

but also asked the brother to bring his girlfriend over for the first time. His girlfriend is the same age as me, so I was looking forward to meeting her. That Saturday, I arrived at my boyfriend's parents' place early as me and his mother had plans to cook a large meal for everyone. That afternoon was mostly just me, my boyfriend, and his parents hanging out. The girlfriend came later in the evening with him brother. Right off the bat, she became overly comfortable with my boyfriend and his father. She said I didn't know all the men in your family are handsome and gave both men a rather tight and long hug. She then made her way over to his mother, ignoring me completely and saying you're so pretty.

Watch out, though, your husband's on my radar. Immediately his mother turned to me and whispered I have a bad feeling about her. We stayed in the kitchen, but the kitchen looks into the living room so we saw everything go down. The girlfriend sat on both my boyfriends and his dad's lap when trying to talk to them and both men seemed uncomfortable. Soon my boyfriend joined us in the kitchen and said I don't like her. I called her over to taste the pasta, we all like spicy food, but I didn't know if she could handle it. To which she took a bite and said,

it's good, I see why they keep bringing you around. That compliment felt backhanded and I felt more uneasy with her. We set up the dining table and it was time for dinner. My boyfriend's family usually says grace before the meal, and invited the girlfriend to lead today as she was a guest. The girlfriend accepted and happily thanked God for the food and all the members intentionally leaving me out of the grace. I didn't mind too much, but my boyfriend and his mom looked at me with the you saw that look in their eyes.

As the dinner moved along, my boyfriend's dad grilled her with questions about her life and this and that, something he did to me as well. She seemed like a decent girl from a decent background. After he was done, he started asking me about the things I was working on, and my plans for graduate school. Before I could answer, she interrupted and started talking about her work and how much she hated it. I could tell my boyfriend's dad didn't really want to listen, as he gave dry responses back and then turned back to me and just asked how my family was doing. This trend went on the whole night, where every time I was acknowledged, she would interrupt me. Near the end of dinner, she jokingly said, be careful David, brother's name, I might just leave you for Blake,

my boyfriend's name. I'm at a point where I don't get jealous or annoyed at this type of stuff, so I went along and said, yeah, Blake, remember to invite me to the wedding when it happens. That seemed to be the breaking point for the girlfriend. As she started crying out and saying, she's been trying to embarrass me the entire night. She then went on a ramble about how I'm hogging my boyfriend's family and making her look bad in front of them. Right after dinner, she dragged my boyfriend's brother out of the house with her and they left for the night. We invited them to stay over for the weekend. My boyfriend's family apologized to me for having to witness that, and we all chilled down to some drinks and kept the celebration going without them. The next day,

my boyfriend's mother gets a call from the brother who seemed extremely pissed off. She put her phone on speaker, so we all heard him talk. He said his girlfriend is really upset with me and his family. How she's now having doubt about him and their relationship. She says that as long as I'm involved in the family, she doesn't think the relationship with him will work out. The brother then began to ask that I break up with my boyfriend so his girlfriend would stop crying and finally have peace with their relationship.

My boyfriend denied the request, so did his parents, to which the brother then said, either she's out of the family or I am. I don't want to end this relationship over someone who's not related to us in the first place. Since then, no one has been able to get a hold of his and it's stressing his parents and my boyfriend out a lot. I feel guilty but also confused on what to do. I don't want to break apart this family but I love my boyfriend and his parents too. I don't know what to do or how to process it.

any of this. Update, thank you for the response, I feel reassured knowing I'm not selfish to stay with the family. And I plan on keeping things how it is and not letting my boyfriend's brother or girlfriend take control of the situation. An update on the situation that sort of gives me more clarity on why everything happened. This morning my boyfriend's mother got a hold of his brother and we all went over again and sat down together no girlfriend this time. The brothers seemed to calm down a lot more and apologized for the commotion the other night. However, he's still backing up on my boyfriend and us breaking up for the betterment of his relationship. There was a lot of back and forth between my boyfriend and his brother a lot of what I simply chose to stay out of. His brother got angry again,

and right before he left, he said, you can shove that ring up your ass and done think about inviting me to the wedding. He left after that, and the room got tense, so my boyfriend opened up to me about something. Basically, he planned to propose to me. Not now, but he bought the ring a few months ago and told his family, including his brother about it. He said the tension between his brother and him started the moment he told him he planned to propose to me. I didn't know if I should be happy my boyfriend wants to marry or upset that this was sort of over a ring lull. Now I'm still confused on the girlfriend's behavior, but I think I can safely say that beyond the girlfriend. A big reason the brother was upset was over the fact me and my boyfriend are going to get married.

That's the update for me. Also a lot of people asked about my boyfriend's older brother's dating history and I found out this was the first time he dated someone since he was 16. He's 24 now. Anyways, that's all. My boyfriend was bummed out that he had to spill the beans on his plan but we talked it out and he said he's going to officially propose with the ring in his plan time. I'm going to stay with him. I'm going to keep my distance from that family though. For the time being just in case any more mishaps come to fruition. I hope you enjoy this story.

Subsequent to the demise of my father, my stepmother evicted me at the age of 18 with only two sacks of possessions, resulting in my homelessness until a kind educator discovered me seeking financial assistance. On the street. Okay, I'm new to this kind of thing. I don't usually post online, but I don't know where else to turn for an opinion. Things are really bad right now. My dad passed away a week ago.

It was pretty sudden. He was sick for a few months, but we all thought he was going to get better. He didn't. The funeral was two days ago. It was the hardest day of my life. I just turned 18 last month. My birthday was quiet because dad was already in the hospital, but he made sure to call me and sing. My stepmom, Clara, and my dad were married for about 10 years.

I was eight when she moved in. We never really got along. It wasn't like big fights all the time when Dad was around, more like she just didn't really like me being there. She had her own room she liked to stay in a lot. If I was in the living room watching TV, she'd come in, sigh really loudly, and then go back to her room. Or she'd tell me to do chores that were already done.

Dad used to tell her to leave me be sometimes. The house we live in was my dad's house before he met her. My mom died when I was very little, so it's always been just me and dad, then me, dad, and Clara. All my memories are in this house. So, the funeral was Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, yesterday, Clara came into my room. I was just sitting on my bed. I hadn't really slept.

She didn't knock. She just opened the door. She said, you need to start packing your things. I was confused. I asked, packing for what? Are we moving? I thought maybe she meant she wanted to sell the house now that dad was gone, which would be sad, but I guess I could understand. She said, no, we are not moving.

You are moving. You're 18 now. You're an adult. You need to be out by the end of the week. I was shocked. I said, what are you talking about? This is my home. Dad would never want me to leave.

Clara just crossed her arms. Your dad isn't here anymore to say what he wants. I am. And I say you leave. The house is mine now. Or it will be, once the papers are sorted. It doesn't matter. You're an adult and you need to go.

I tried to stay calm. I told her, Clara, I have nowhere to go. All my things are here. I just finished high school. I was supposed to start looking for a job and apply for colleges, Dad, and I talked about it. I don't have any money saved up. She shrugged.

That sounds like a personal problem. Not my concern. You have until Sunday. If you're not out, I'll pack your things myself and leave them on the curb. I asked her why she was doing this. I said, is it because you never liked me? She actually laughed a little. Maybe.

Maybe I just want my own space. Without a moping teenager in it. Your dad spoiled you. It's time you learned about the real world. Then she said something really weird. She said, if you make this difficult, I'll make it worse for you. You have no idea how much worse I can make it. Her eyes looked strange when she said it.

It was a bit scary, to be honest. She used to get like that sometimes when Dad wasn't home. If I did something she didn't like, like leave a glass in the sink. She'd grab her hair and pull it, just for a second, then look at me like that. I just told her, I don't think this is right, Clara. This is Dad's house, and I'm his son. She just turned and walked out. Later, I heard her on the first.

with someone, laughing. I haven't started packing. I don't know what to do. I don't have any other family. My grandparents passed away years ago. My mom was an only child. Dad had a brother, my uncle, but he lives in another country, and they weren't close. I haven't even spoken to him since I was a little kid. I wouldn't even know how to contact him. I feel like I'm being completely reasonable by wanting to stay in the only home I've ever known, especially right after my dad died. I'm willing to contribute, get a job, pay rent once I'm on my feet. I told her this when I tried to talk to her again last night. She just slammed her bedroom door in my face. So, Reddit, Ida for not wanting to leave even if I am considered an adult? Update 1. It's been a few days since my first

post. Some of you said I should look into legal rights, but I didn't even even know where to start with that, and everything happened so fast. Clara gave me until Sunday. I didn't pack. I kept thinking Dad would somehow walk through the door, or Clara would change her mind. I tried talking to her again on Friday. I knocked on her bedroom door. She yelled through the door, if you're not out by Sunday, I'm calling the police to remove

you for trespassing. I asked if we could just talk, figure out a plan. She started shouting, just a stream of words I couldn't really understand, like she was just making noise. On Sunday morning, I woke up and my bedroom door was open. Clara was standing there with two big trash bags. She said, I see you haven't packed. So, I'm doing it for you. I jumped out of bed.

Clara, no. Don't touch my stuff. She just ignored me. She started pulling. clothes out of my drawers and shoving them into the bags. She wasn't being careful. My school books, some photos of my dad and me, she just threw them in. I tried to stop her. I said, please, just give me some more time. A week. I'll try to find somewhere. She turned around so fast, her face was all red. Time? You've had all the time you're getting. You think I want you moping around here.

reminding me of things. You're a grown man, act like it. Get out. She threw a bag at me. It had some of my clothes and my laptop in it. Take this and go. The rest will be on the porch. I grabbed the bag. I was still in my pajamas. I didn't know what else to do. I went to the bathroom to change. When I came out, about ten minutes later, she was dragging another trash bag, towards the front door. My other bag, the one with my laptop, was already on the porch. She pointed to the door. Out. Now. Her voice was shaking, but her eyes were hard. I asked her, what about Dad's things? His workshop in the garage? His clothes? She said, none of your concern. It's my property now. I just stood there for a moment. I could. I could

couldn't believe it was happening. She then grabbed my arm. Her nails dug in. I said, get out. I pulled my arm away. I didn't push her or anything. I just got my arm free. She stumbled back a step, then she screamed. A really high-pitched scream. He hit me. He's attacking me. No one else was there. It was just us in the house. I said, Clara, I didn't touch you. Stop this. She ran to the phone in the kitchen and picked it up. I'm calling the police.

I'll tell them you assaulted me. My heart was pounding. I didn't know if she was serious. Looking at her face, she looked like she was. She looked completely unhinged. I just picked up the other bag from the porch and walked out. I just walked. As I got to the street, I heard her lock the front door.

Really loud. Like she slammed the deadbolt home. I had two trash bags with some of my stuff, the clothes I was wearing, and my phone. I don't have much money, maybe $50 in my wallet. I walked to the park down the street. I sat on a bench. I tried to call the only friend whose number I remembered, Mike, from school. It went to voicemail.

I left a message, but I don't know if he'll even get it or be able to help. His family doesn't have much space. I stayed in the park until it got dark. Then I went to a 24-hour diner and bought a coffee so I could sit there for a while. I must have looked a mess. The lady there kept looking at me. I left after a couple of hours. I ended up sleeping on a bench in the bus station.

It was cold. I didn't really sleep. Yesterday, Monday, I went back to the house. I thought maybe she'd have calmed down. I knocked on the door. No answer. I could hear the TV on inside. I knocked again, louder.

The curtains in the living room twitched. I saw her looking out. Then she dropped the curtain. She never came to the door. I waited outside for an hour. Then I gave up. I spent last night on the same bench. My phone is about to die.

I'm charging it at the library right now to type this. I don't know what to do. I really have nowhere to go. The comments on my last post mentioned shelters. I'll have to look into that. I just can't believe this is happening. My dad has only been gone for just over a week. So, I guess that's it.

She kicked me out. I'm homeless. Any advice on what to do next would be good, especially about shelters or getting food. Update 2. It's been a little over a month since Clara kicked me out. I'm writing this from the library again. It's one of the few places I can sit for a while without being bothered,

and they have computers and Wi-Fi. The first week was a blur. I tried Mike again, my school friend. He eventually texted me. back. He said his parents were really strict and there was no way he could let me stay. He sounded sorry, but that was it. No other help. I don't blame him. It's not his problem. I found a homeless shelter. It's a place to sleep. Indoor's. That's the best I can say about it. It's crowded, noisy. You have to be in by a certain time, out by a certain time in the morning.

Lots of rules. Some of the people there are okay. Some are clearly struggling with a lot of things. I try to keep to myself. My first night there, someone stole the shoes I had left by my cot. I had another one and wear those shoes to sleep now, if you can call it sleep. Getting food is a daily thing. Sometimes the shelter has meals. Sometimes there are soup kitchens. I've learned where they are and when they serve. Other times, I don't eat much. The $50 I had is long gone. I tried asking people for money a couple of times. It's awful.

Most people just walk past like you're invisible. Some look at you with disgust. One guy told me to get a job. It's not that easy when you don't have an address, can't get a shower every day, and all your clothes are in a trash bag that you have to carry everywhere. I lost some of my dad's photos. The ones Clara threw in the bag.

The bag got wet one day when it rained hard before I got to the shelter. Some of the photos are ruined. That was a bad day. About two weeks ago, I went back to the house. I don't know why. I guess I just wanted to see it. I stood on the sidewalk across the street. The windows were all dark.

It looked empty. As I was standing there, a car pulled up to the curb. It was Clara. She got out. She didn't see me at first. She was carrying shopping bags, looked like new clothes. Then she spotted me. Her face changed.

She dropped her shopping bags on her lawn and marched right over to me. What are you doing here? She yelled. I said, I just wanted to see the house. Clara, this isn't your house anymore. I told you to stay away. Are you stalking me now? She was shouting loud enough for the whole street to hear.

I told her I wasn't stalking her. I just repeated that I was looking at my old house. She got closer, right in my face. If I see you here again, I'm calling the police and getting a restraining order. You're harassing me. Then she did something that really shocked me. She started crying, right there on the sidewalk. My husband just died, and his horrible son is tormenting me.

He's trying to break into my house. None of that was true. I was just standing there. A neighbor from a few doors down came out onto their porch. Clara pointed at me, still crying. He's threatening me. Make him go away. I just turned and walked off.

I could hear her still yelling and crying as I went. I didn't look back. What was the point? She was making a scene, and people would believe her because she was a crying woman and I was. Well, I look like a homeless person. I'm trying to find work. I've asked at grocery stores, fast food places. They ask if I have an address, a phone number they can call.

When I say no, or give the shelter's address, the look on their face. changes. No one calls back. My high school diploma, my birth certificate, social security card, all that stuff was in the house. Clara has it. I need those things to get a proper job or apply for any kind of assistance. I don't know how I'll ever get them from her. After that scene on the street, I'm scared to go near the house again. One of the guys at the shelter told me about day labor places, where you show up early in the morning and hope to get picked for a few hours of work, usually construction or moving stuff. I'm going to try that next week.

I need money for basic things. Soap. Sox. Maybe a new toothbrush. It's not just the physical stuff. It's being alone. Dad was always there. Now there's no one.

It's a strange feeling. I just focus on getting through. each day. That's all I can do. Update 3. It's been six months. I don't know why I'm still writing these. Maybe just to have a record that I'm still around. I'm at the library. It's winter now, and it's cold. Really cold. The shelter is always full. Sometimes I don't get a bed and have to find somewhere else. Abandoned buildings, doorways, anywhere out of the wind. The day labor thing worked a few times.

I got picked for some really hard jobs, like carrying bricks or digging holes. The money was okay for a day's work, cash in hand. But it's not regular. Some days nobody gets picked. And if you look too rough, or if you're not strong enough, they don't choose you. I've lost weight. I don't think I look very strong anymore. Someone stole my trash bag with my clothes a while back.

I had it next to me while I was trying to sleep behind a supermarket. When I woke up, it was gone. It had everything. The few clothes I had left, my dad's ruined photos, a small notebook I used to write things in. Everything other than the laptop. Good thing I sold it for $500 for getting food. But now I just have the clothes I'm wearing and I try to wash them in public restaurants. when I can. I got sick a few weeks ago. A bad cough, fever. I couldn't go to the shelter

because they were worried about me infecting others. I spent three days in an old, boarded-up storefront. It was freezing. I thought I was going to die there. Some outreach workers found me. They give out blankets and soup. They got me to a clinic. They gave me some antibiotics. I got better. I got better. slowly. I had to go back to the house. Not my choice. The clinic said I needed my ID to get more help, or to get into some longer-term programs. They said I should try to get my documents from my last known address. So, I went. I dreaded it. I stood on the sidewalk for a long time, like before. This time, the house looked different. The garden was overgrown. There was a for-sale. There was a for-sale sign in the yard. My heart sank. If she sold it, my documents would be gone for good. I knocked on the

door. I was expecting Clara to open it and start screaming. But a man I didn't know answered. He looked confused. I asked if Clara was there. He said, Clara? No, she moved out a few weeks ago. We just bought the place. I asked if she left anything, any man. for a previous resident, or any boxes. I gave my name. He was nice enough. He said he didn't think so. The house was empty when they got it.

He let me look in the mailbox, but it was empty too. He asked if I was okay. I guess I didn't look good. I just said, thanks and left. So Clara sold the house. And she took all my documents, all my last things. Or she threw the house. them away. It doesn't matter which. They're gone. I found out later from someone who knew a neighbor

that Clara had a massive yard sale before she moved. Sold everything. Furniture, tools from Dad's workshop, everything. She apparently told people her husband had left her with massive debts and she was forced to sell. Another lie. Dad was always careful with money. I also heard she had some kind of breakdown right before she moved. The neighbor said she was seen throwing things out of the windows into the yard, screaming at no one. One day she apparently just started cutting up the rose bushes dad had planted for my mom, hacking at them with a kitchen knife, crying and muttering to herself. Then a week later, she was gone. New people moved in. It feels like she's trying to erase me and erase my dad. I tried to get copies of my birth certificate and social security card.

It's really hard without any existing ID and no fixed address. It's like a circle you can't break out of. You need ID to get help, but you need help, like an address, to get ID. I'm tired. Not just sleepy tired. Hired deep inside. I saw a kid I knew from high school the other day. He was with his parents, laughing, carrying shopping bags.

He looked right at me, then he looked away. really fast and hurried on. Like he didn't know me or didn't want to. That hurt more than the cold sometimes. I don't know what the point of this update is. Just saying things are still bad. Maybe worse. This might be my last post for a while. No good news. Update 4. It's been nearly a year since Clara threw me out. I think it's about 11 months. I've lost track. of dates. Every day is just about finding food and a safe place to sleep. I didn't go to the library as much anymore. It was harder to make myself presentable enough to not get kicked out. I don't look like myself. I'm thin. Really thin. My clothes are torn and dirty. My hair is long

and matted. I know I smell bad. It's hard to care anymore. I spend most of my time in the downtown area where there are more people. Sometimes people give me a dollar or some change if I sit by the entrance of the train station. That's what I was doing yesterday. Just sitting there, holding out a greasy paper cup. Not looking at anyone, not saying anything. Most people hurry by. Then I heard a voice. David? Is that you? I looked up. I didn't recognize her at first. She looked clean, professional. Then I saw her eyes. It was Ms. Evans, my English teacher from senior year of high school.

She was one of the good ones. Passionate about books, always tried to get us to think. I just stared at her. I couldn't say anything. I was so ashamed. Her face was. Shocked. Her hand went to her mouth.

She knelt down in front of me. me, right there on the dirty pavement. She didn't seem to care about her nice clothes. David, what happened to you? She asked. I still couldn't speak. What could I say? She just stayed there, looking at me. Then she said, come with me. Please. Let me get you something to eat. I don't know why, but I went with her. Maybe because she was the first person who had looked at me like I was still a human being in a very long time. She took me to a small cafe. She bought me a big breakfast. Eggs, bacon, toast, coffee. I ate so fast, I felt sick afterwards, but it was the best food I'd had in months. She didn't ask too many questions while I was eating. She just watched. After I

finished, she started to ask gently. What happened with my dad? Where was I living? So, I told her. I told her about Dad dying. About Clara kicking me out the day after the funeral. About the last year on the streets. Ms. Evans listened to everything. She looked horrified, then angry when I told her about Clara. When I finished, she was quiet for a moment.

Then she said, this is not okay, David. What Clara did is monstrous. She told me she was going to help me. She took me to a store and bought me new clothes. Jeans, shirts, socks, underwear, shoes, a warm jacket. She made me go into the store's restroom and change. I saw myself in the mirror for the first time in months. I almost didn't recognize the person looking back.

Then she took me to a place, like a community center she knew. They had showers. She waited outside for an hour while I showered. It was the best shower of my life. Feeling clean was, strange. Good, but strange. She paid for a room for me in a small, clean motel for a few nights. She said she'd come back tomorrow and we'd make a plan.

Get my documents sorted. Look into options. Before she left me at the motel, she gave me her phone number. She made me promise to call her if I needed anything or if I just wanted to talk. I'm in the motel room now. It has a bed and a door that locks. It's strange. I don't know what to feel.

Ms. Evans also asked me about Clara. If I knew where she was. I told her about the house being sold, about Clara moving. I told her I didn't know where Clara went and I didn't want to. Ms. Evans got this determined look on her face. She said, people like that shouldn't just get away. with doing such terrible things to others, especially to a child. I know I'm 18, but she still said child, maybe meaning when it started.

She said she has some contacts, people who might be able to find out what happened with my dad's will, if there even was one, and where Clara might be. I'm grateful to Ms. Evans. I really am, but I'm also worried. What if Clara tries to hurt Ms. Evans? Or what if she tries to find me and somehow make my... life even more of a mess than it already is. The last year has taught me that things can always get worse. For now, I'm just going to try to sleep in this bed. Update 5. It's been a couple of months

since Ms. Evans found me. I'm not on the streets anymore. Ms. Evans has been amazing. She's like a force of nature, but a kind one. She helped me get a temporary ID. With her help as a reference, and using her address, we managed to apply for a copy of my birth certificate. It finally came through last week. She paid for everything. She found a room for me to rent in a house with an older lady who needed a bit of help around the garden. It's small, but it's safe and clean. I do odd jobs for the landlady to help with rent, and Ms. Evans helps me cover the rest for now. I started a basic computer skills course at the local Community College.

Ms. Evans thought it would be good for me to get some qualifications. It's hard. My concentration isn't great. Sometimes I just sit there and can't take anything in. But I'm trying. I go every day. Ms. Evans also talked to a lawyer friend of hers. Just for advice.

The lawyer said that without seeing my dad's will, it's hard to say what my rights were. She said if the house was solely in my house. dad's name, I might have had inheritance rights. If it was jointly owned with Clara with rights of survivorship, then it would have automatically gone to Clara. Or if Dad made a will leaving everything to Clara, that would be it. The lawyer said trying to find out now, after the house is sold and Clara is gone, would be expensive and difficult, with no guarantee of success. She said Clara's actions were morally awful, but proving illegality would be tough. Ms. Evans was angry, but she accepted it. She said we should focus on my future. I was starting to feel a tiny bit.

Not normal, but less like I was drowning. Then Clara found out about me or about Ms. Evans helping me. It happened last week. I was at the community college when my phone rang with an unknown number. I almost didn't answer, but knowing Ms. Evans sometimes calls from different numbers when at work, I took the chance. When I answered, it was Clara on the line. She immediately launched into accusations, questioning if I thought I was clever for getting a teacher to help me in spreading what she called lies about her. I found myself unable to respond. Clara taunted that she knew exactly where I was and about Ms. Evans, whom she referred to as an interfering woman. She questioned whether I truly believed Ms. Evans could protect me. When I finally managed to ask what she wanted,

Clara's response was chilling. She said she had wanted me to stay gone, calling me a street rat who was now trying to ruin her. I defended myself, explaining I was just trying to live my life, which made her to laugh. She declared I didn't deserve a good life after what I had done. Confused by this accusation, I questioned what exactly I had done wrong. Her answer was devastating. She said simply existing. She ranted about me always being in her house.

with her husband, claiming he had loved me more than her. This surprised me. If dad had truly loved me more, he had shown it strangely by allowing Clara to make my life subtly miserable for years. I chose not to argue this point. Clara's tone then shifted dramatically as she began to cry, blaming me for her husband's death. She insisted that if I hadn't been such a burden causing him stress, he would still be alive. The accusation was absurd. Dad had died from an illness that had nothing to do with me. When I tried to reason with her, she only became more hysterical, insisting on her version of events. She said that a teacher had got lawyers on her, and she'd received a letter.

I realized then how she had found out. Ms. Evans' lawyer friend must have sent an inquiry about Dad's will declare as old address, which had been forwarded. I attempted to explain that Ms. Evans only wanted information about Dad's will, but Clara denied any well that included me, claiming everything was rightfully hers before abruptly ending the call. I was shaking. I told Ms. Evans immediately. She was furious. She called the lawyer, who confirmed they had sent a standard inquiry letter regarding the estate to an address they found for Clara. The lawyer was apologetic. Ms. Evans reported the call

to the police. They took a statement, but said without a direct physical threat, there wasn't much they could do other than log it. A few days later, Ms. Evans' car tires were slashed. All four of them. Outside her house. There was no proof it was Clara, but we both knew. Ms. Evans had to pay a lot to get them replaced. She looked shaken, but she just got more determined.

She's not going to scare us, David, she said. Then, yesterday, I was walking from my rented room to the bus stop to go to college. A car swerved towards me onto the sidewalk. I had to jump out of the way. It was going fast. I fell and scraped my hands and knees badly. The car didn't stop. It was a dark sedan.

I didn't see the driver clearly, but it looked like Clara's car that I vaguely remembered her getting after she sold Dad's old one. I can't be sure. It happened so fast. I told Ms. Evans. She wanted to call the police again. Clara is unhinged. That threat on the phone, the self-pity, the blaming me for Dad's death, the rage.

It's worse than I've ever seen it. And now she's escalating to physical actions. First property damage, now what feels like a direct attempt to hurt me. Ms. Evans is trying to be strong, but I can see this is affecting her. I feel so guilty. She helped me, and now she's in danger because of it. I'm scared all the time now. The little bit of peace I had is gone.

Final update, this is the last time all right here. So much has happened. I don't even know where to begin. It all feels like a horrible dream. After the car incident, Ms. Evans insisted on reporting it to the police. She told them about Clara's previous call, the slash tires. They were a bit more serious this time. They said they would try to talk to

Clara, but they warned us that unless she confessed or there were witnesses, it would be hard to prove anything about the car. Ms. Evans also installed security cameras at her house. She made me take taxis to and from college for a while, and she paid for them. She was worried sick. I felt like a burden. A few days after the car thing, Clara showed up at my rented room. My landlady, Mrs. Gable, is an elderly woman. Clara somehow found out where I I was staying. Maybe she followed me, or the lawyer's letter had a return address that Ms. Evans was using for me. I don't know. I wasn't home. I was at college. Mrs. Gable told me what happened later. Clara apparently banged on the door,

screaming my name, demanding to be let in. Mrs. Gable was scared. She opened the door just a crack, on the chain. Clara tried to push her way in, yelling that I was a thief, that I had stolen from her, that I was a danger. Mrs. Gable is frail, but she's tough. She told Clara to leave or she'd call the police. Clara started wailing. A full-blown emotional meltdown on Mrs. Gable's doorstep. She was crying, pulling at her own hair,

and then she started hitting her own head against the doorframe, hard, repeatedly. Mrs. Gable said it was terrifying. She slammed the door shut and called the police. By the time the police arrived, Clara was gone. But she'd left a mark, a smear of blood on the doorframe from her head. The police took pictures. They seemed concerned about Clara's mental state. The police finally made contact with Clara.

I don't know what was said. But a few days after that, Ms. Evans got a call. It was from a hospital. Clara had been admitted to a psychiatric unit. Apparently, after the police spoke to her, she had some kind of major public incident. I don't know all the details, but I heard she was found in a park, disoriented, screaming at trees, and had tried to physically fight the officers who approached her. They said she was a danger to herself and others.

She had superficial cuts on her arms, which they thought were self-inflicted. That explained the self-harming behavior implied earlier. So, Clara is contained. for now. The police said it's likely she'll be in treatment for a while. They are also looking into pressing charges against her for the harassment, the threats, and possibly for the incident with her car and my tires, though the proof is still thin for those. The assault on Mrs. Gable's door and her subsequent public breakdown made things clearer. I'm still going to college. I'm still living in Mrs. Gable's spare room.

She's been very kind, especially after the incident with her. with Clara. Ms. Evans wants me to see a therapist. She says I have a lot to process. I will look into it TBH. Also, before I go, I just wanted to thank the people here on Reddit. When I first posted, I didn't know what to expect. Reading your comments, getting tips about shelters or just knowing someone out there read my story, it helped. It was a place to put down what was happening when I had no one else to tell. So, thank you for for that. It meant something, especially during the really bad times. I hope you enjoy this story. The physician incorrectly diagnosed me on two occasions and caused harm during a surgery that was not needed, resulting in nerve damage. I have learned that I am not the initial patient to suffer from

his actions. This is extremely distressing. Story of my life, the one I'm encouraged to write a book about, the one I am still in partial denial over, and the one that sent me to the ER over 50 times in 18 months. And it all started with an incorrect MRI interpretation gone far past the point of wrong. As a bit of a backstory, I started having severe, debilitating migraines in summer 2021 after my second round of COVID. By the time I first saw this doctor, I had already trialed and failed multiple treatments slash medications. He ordered an MRI. It came back normal, but he diagnosed me with a rare condition called a CSF leak. I scheduled surgery, unaware that this wasn't true.

I didn't have a leak. I only became worse after surgery, he actually admitted there wasn't a leak by that point, and my pain was repeatedly ignored and diminished, you know, because I wasn't giving birth. The doctor ordered an angiogram. It was normal, but he diagnosed me again with intracranial hypertension and prescribed blood thinners. I became so sick I couldn't get out of bed, eat, or even properly use the bathroom. I never knew pain like this even existed. In between all of this, I began to go to the ER.

Before that, I had never experienced such rude and sexist comments in my life, how I was being dramatic, or how I was a drug seeker, etc. The female medical staff was much kinder to me than the male doctors. I would eventually learn the truth that I had been misdiagnosed twice and severe, severely injured as a result. I also learned I'm not the first this doctor has heard. He knew he was misdiagnosing me and did it anyway. I know how crazy that probably sounds, I learned via medical records he never thought I would get a hold of as he blatantly refused to let me read them. I haven't been the same since that surgery. It's like a part of my soul has died and I'm now morbid

and bitter. I never had anything he diagnosed me with, and the blood thinners were slowly killing me. The point of this story is to advocate for yourself as a patient for anything you might be struggling with. It could save your life. I hope no one here ever has experienced something similar. Edit 1. I'm not diminishing childbirth. For heaven's sake, the doctors said this to me and that's why I included it. Please, to anyone who is offended by that part, please calm down. I know childbirth is awful.

That's why I'm not having kids. Edit 2. I'm truly so, so grateful for the support y'all have given me. It means a lot I will take some time to try to answer any questions and respond to comments slash stories. Thank you all so effing much. You're wonderful. Update 1. First, I want to say thank you to each and every one of you who offered support, advice, and to those who have shared their stories and have experienced similar things or dealt with doctors minimizing your pain. I am truly, deeply sorry. This community is so amazing, and I couldn't be more appreciative of everyone here.

I wanted to give an update on this because it's something that still weighs on me every single day. I have some positive news. I believe I have finally, finally found the right attorney. She will not only help me, but she wants to look into having my former doctor's license revoke through the state medical board. I have heard more and more about how this doctor does this to other patients. I've even spoken to a few of them and feel so awful knowing they too have suffered at the hands of a man wanting to be like Dr. Death. For a bit of bittersweet news, I recently did a test and learned how bad the nerve damage is.

I am looking at having nerve decompression surgery in the head slash skull slash brain to help alleviate symptoms. It's not too invasive, but it's a hard few weeks of recovery in a hospital and I have a lot of allergies to medications, but I'm hoping for the best. Thank you so much to everyone here. Y'all are wonderful. Update 2, most of the comments were very supportive, but I want to address some of the issues that were brought up. My story isn't fake. It never was fake.

It never will be fake, I wish it was. This story was not fabricated due to my alleged hatred of men as a few individuals commented. I don't hate men. I do hate some of their behaviors, but I would fully hope someone to call me out if I ask. acted that way. It's a mutual feeling, I wouldn't expect someone to put up with me acting like an ass. One of the things that was brought up was my medical records and my diagnoses. I'll try to be as concise as possible, my medical records have damning information. Two of my correct diagnoses

are recorded on these records. However, the verbal diagnoses and treatment plans via paper and verbally were completely different. I was treated for issues I did not have. Yes, but I do know that blood thinners do not treat intracranial hypertension, it's usually diomox, but the blood thinners are what I was prescribed, in other words, my former doctor knew he was misdiagnosing me. He was fully aware, he is not stupid. He is likely a narcissist. I developed hemiplegia with migraines at the beginning of this year, I do not know why.

And I may never know. The cluster headaches too, I do not know what caused them. There is ambiguity in some of this information because it is still ongoing. There is still more to be uncovered. I am heavily considering nerve decompression surgery, or even removal of the occipital nerves. I found stories of other patients, both men and women, as a few individuals assumed that I was only recounting stories from women, online, and even through Reddit. These stories will not be involved in my lawsuit. I found them to see if there was a pattern of negligence on my former doctor's part, and this proved to, to be correct. This doctor has harmed both men and women. I do not believe he was only harming

women. Finally, onto the small update, the case is underway. It is very unlikely to go to trial. I have too much on him for any sort of major defense. I'm hopeful, but this entire thing is so emotional for me. It's hurtful to know people assume I am lying about my story, but it's Reddit. These people don't know me, and I'm not going to spend hours upon hours try to convince strangers of my truth. They weren't there. Thank you to everyone who has offered kindness and support. I really appreciate it. I will update one final time when my case is settled.

Until then, I'm just trying to heal psychologically, and physically. Update 3, May 1, 2025. Hi, everyone. I just wanted to share this with it. without it becoming a long wall of text, I was admitted to the hospital last night after what I believed to be a seven day and counting migraine.

It took me making a scene and probably coming off as a bit ridiculous to have anyone take me seriously enough. Usually when I visit the emergency room, I get strange looks and oftentimes hurtful comments. Maybe it's because migraines are invisible to most onlookers, but I digress. After what turned into a 24-hour long visit with multiple doctors, imaging, rounds of 20s

horidol infusions, and even lytocane injections to the skull, I spoke with a migraine specialist. This is a first for me. Until today, I had never met someone who specializes in them. The discussion was long, but for the first time in what feels like years, I was hurt. My former doctor caused a nerve disorder, something that is rare, and if left untreated, can become excruciating. I have scar tissue running along my occipital nerves, and am now going to undergo a specialized surgery that few doctors recommend, and even fewer perform. The healing time from the procedure is three years. I will be 27 years old by that time, having spent a total of six years trying to understand

and identify what my former doctor truly caused. This post is not intended to paint me as a victim. It stands again as a cautionary note to anyone, especially women. If something seems wrong with a medical treatment plan put in place for you, always seek other opinions. Don't end up in the same position I am in. I will experience complications the rest of my life because I believe someone who deliberately hurts is patience for money and for control. Update 4, May 6, 2025. To everyone who sent kind messages throughout my storyline updates, and to everyone who commented advice, similar experiences, and words of encouragement alongside

words of sorrow, thank you from the bottom of my heart. This community is truly wonderful and I am so grateful for everyone here. I didn't think I would be posting an update like this so soon. I wish I could say this update is positive, but unfortunately it isn't. I'll start off by confirming that everything I have said about this doctor is true. My story is true, backed up by 10 plus inches of concrete, concise evidence. The other testimonies about him are true, the fact that others have been harmed by this doctor is horrifying. I cannot tell you all how many times I've broken down sobbing because someone else reached out to me with a story like mine.

The attorney I believed was in the process of helping me, he lied to me too. I suspect he knows this doctor and is perhaps friends with him. I believe this doctor is paying people off to avoid legal consequences. I have never been told I didn't have a case, but no one has been willing to initiate a lawsuit towards this single doctor. Other doctors face lawsuits that I can find through public records. Not this one. Not once have I found anything, other than review after review detailing the horrors this man has inflicted on others. It started in late 2020, with a woman who likely tried to sue and was denied justice,

she was left with brain damage, and underwent specialized brain recovery treatments as a consequence of this man. The reviews are still stacking upon each other. Some are so frightening, I again start crying. My diagnosis is final. Three years after the surgery that nearly killed me. I still have residual effects from the blood thinners I was lied to about in order to take. I have nightmares depicting this man chaining me to an operating table to finish the job he started. I cannot visit a doctor's office without a panic attack.

I visited the ER over 70 times as a result of the damage. my veins are unable to give blood without collapsing, stubborn during four treatments that burn when pushed into the line. I no longer fear needles, but the pokes are becoming more and more painful, scar tissue clouding the veins to protect them. There are days where all I do is ruminate and cry. The pain I will experience forever will serve as a reminder

that I may never truly be free from the lies I was told. The 30-plus medications I tried and failed, the weight gain I experienced from all the steroids and increased hunger. I will be taking a break from Reddit. I was approved for disability and need time to reflect and to heal emotionally. The scars will always remain. This upcoming surgery scares me, but I have hope, even when I shouldn't. This doctor still practices, still harms.

Justice is a thing rarely seen in today's world. But I am far from finished. I will not stop until this man is out of practice, my anger towards him is far too strong for me to give up. I will find a way to make it happen. For myself, and for everyone else he is harmed. I'm not done fighting. Thank you all for your help and support. Next story, friend called me a gold digger to my daughter because she can't get her boyfriend to marry her,

then admitted she's been trying to save me from being a song. I, 35F, and my husband, have a five-year-old daughter. Recently she found our wedding album and has been absolutely obsessed with weddings and everything to do with them. She's been asking us a bunch of questions, for example why we got married.

We've just been answering that we love each other a lot and thought it was right for us. Recently a friend of ours invited us to their sixth-year wedding anniversary party. The friend who was hosting the party and I are a part of a pretty large female friendship group that started in our law school days. All of us are either married with children, engaged or in a relationship of some sort.

Mandy, 35F, is a part of this friendship group and is in a relationship with Baz, 38M. Mandy and Baz have been together for almost eight years now, for the past five Mandy has been expressing to us that she really wants to get married but Baz is very avoidant about it. To the point that when it's brought up he just says it's just a piece of paper and I don't need the government's approval to love you. Despite us gently suggesting that he might be unsurious about her and that if they have different views on marriage they shouldn't be together, she insists they are meant to be and that he'll come to his senses. At the party all of the couples and kids were invited and my daughter was over the moon about all the wedding stuff.

Mandy eventually strikes up a conversation with my daughter about school and such. My kid notices Baz and Mandy together and asks if they are married, why they aren't married when they will get married in a very awkward when will you wear Wavigs type manner. I was nearby and overheard the conversation and immediately tried to change the subject apologized as I knew this was a touchy subject for Mandy. I made her apologize to Mandy for being nosy, but then she kind of snaps back at my daughter saying, well, we aren't married because I truly love him and I'm not a gold digger, L.O.L. Some context my husband is a very successful architect and his family comes from some

wealth. My family is the opposite with me being a first-generation law student. I had opened up to Mandy in the past that I was worried to meet my husband's family in case they think I'm just with him for his money and got nervous about what people thought once they knew I didn't originally come from wealth. I love my husband, have a great relationship with his family and I'm very successful in my field as well, but I knew the comment was directed at me. She is the breadwinner in her relationship and has made snarky comments to me before about the size of my ring and how it looks too big and greedy and will opt for a different style when her and Baz get married. She has even implied that my husband is unattractive and made a comment that I only got

pregnant early into the marriage because I wanted to seal that generational wealth down with a baby when I announced my pregnancy. Each time I kind of laughed it off and moved on, except for the last comment which I shut down hard and kind of scared her out of saying anything else until this party. Everyone else there also overheard the conversation and knew the context of that comment and the room just kind of went silent and awkward. It was the end of the party so we kind of just left and said goodbye to the host. That was about two days ago. Today she sent me a message saying people were texting her that what she said wasn't cool and that she should apologize. She gave a very half-assed apology and said that she probably wouldn't have said anything if I had just shut my kid up earlier.

To that I responded to not ever shit-talk my kid and that I wanted space from her and said that this broke the camel's back as it was said to my daughter. I told the other friends about the text and thankfully they backed me up and told her she was being a bitch. I think they were riding her so hard because a lot of the friend group were also first-generation students with equally successful partners. She sent a follow-up apology that was slightly more sincere and asked me to get people off her back. My husband is equally as mad but said to maybe cut her a little slack because she is in such a shit place in her relationship and is projecting out of fear. The comment really hurt my feelings, but I knew she was in a tough place with Baz and probably could have controlled my daughter a little earlier. So Ida Update 1, May 4, 2025.

I originally wasn't going to update on the situation because I was honestly just going to ghost Mandy for a while and just forget about this whole thing. but I read some of the comments and decided to talk to my daughter. My husband and I sat her down and talked to her about how there are many different types of relationships because there are many different types of people. We told her some people want to get married, some don't and that's okay and how getting married isn't just about a wedding, it's a big commitment to another person. We also said that people can have long and happy relationship without getting married and that isn't something to look down on people on.

We also said that it is ultimately her choice to decide if she ever wants to get married in the future and we would support her no matter what. We then explained that being curious and asking questions is a good thing but marriage and weddings can be very personal for a lot of people and if they don't want to talk about it to respect that. She seemed to understand and still loves weddings and looks at my husband and I's wedding album often but had thankfully chilled out a little. I was still a bit confused on what to do about Mandy as I had some mixed opinions in the comments. I did get a few that stuck with me asking why we are even friends if she doesn't like me. I didn't want to confront the issue again, but in the past few days I found out I'm pregnant with a second kid. After the initial joy with my husband surpassed a little, I got sad thinking about this drama and thinking about how I only wanted people around me who wholeheartedly supported me. I ended up sending a message to Mandy asking to meet up for a coffee.

When I met her, I told her that we had been friends a long time, but her past comments about me hurt. I apologized for my daughter at the party, but that didn't make her comment okay. I also apologized if I ever came off to her as being judgmental or unapproving of her relationship with Baz and that I only wanted her to be happy and if she is, I completely support her. I then told her about the pregnancy and said that if she didn't like me that was her prerogative, but I only wanted people around me that support me in this period of my life. She took it in and actually apologized for her comments and admitted that they were mean-spirited. She felt that because of her family she's always had pressure to live up to traditional family life

even though she didn't want to and was happy with the way things were with Baz. I was happy we reached some sort of understanding but things took a turn for the worst. She confessed that she purposely started saying mean comments to prevent me from falling into the stay-at-home mom trap. I was confused and she clarified that two other women in the group have done the same after having children and she predicted that I would go down the same route so to protect me after I got engaged, she started indirectly shaming me in hopes I wouldn't quit my job to take care of my kids.

I have never once said I wanted to be a stay-at-home mother, by the way. I told her that was fucking crazy and that I never once said I wanted to stop working because I love my job. She said that was a good thing, but she thought I would because of how often I talk about my daughter and how in her eyes I crave the validation of my husband too much. I said that she was being mean

and that I've treasured her friendship for a long time, but I need to think about if it was worth saving. I'm now in my car typing this head spinning. I don't want to be her friend anymore, but I'm scared that other people might shame me into it because of the baby coming. What do I do? Update 2, May 11th, 2025.

Hello, everyone. This is the last time I'm going to update on the situation because I've decided the stress isn't worth it. These last few days I've been making all the calls and visits to my close friends and family to announce the pregnancy so pretty much everyone in my circle knows now. People have just been wanting to talk about the baby so no one has asked about all the Mandy stuff, thankfully. I met up with one of my closest friends in the group recently. I told her what happened the last time I saw Mandy and she was just as gobsmacked as I was. I told her I'm going to be taking

some space from Mandy and this whole drama to focus on the pregnancy, even though I didn't really want to hear about it. My friend gave me some new info on Mandy and Baz. Apparently they are going through at RN and close to breaking up. It's gotten bad enough that Baz has temporarily moved back in with his mother. According to my friend, Mandy decided to have a serious talk with Baz about marriage and she told him that she was okay with never getting married. Baz then kind of freaked out and accused her of cheating because he thinks her not wanting to get married anymore means there has to be someone else and her she has lost interest, which is dumb. He apparently won't listen to reason, so they are taking some time apart. I feel sad for her, but it's not my focus anymore and I hope

Mandy just ends up happy. I'm thriving with my family, focusing on getting through these early pregnancy days and spending time with the people who support me. Thanks for all the advice. I hope you enjoy this story. The recent bride requested her sibling to provide an alibi while she engaged in extramarital affairs with numerous gentlemen. Upon discovering the truth and initiating divorce proceedings, she warned me that she would expose me as a violent individual to everyone. Need to get this off my chest. I don't even know where to begin, but I guess I'll start from the beginning. I'm 28 years old, and my older brother Nate has been married to his wife Emma for about four years now. They dated for two years before that. I've always looked up to my brother,

and Emma has always been like a sister to me. Our family welcomed her with open arms from day one. My parents always said they wanted a daughter, and Emma fit right in. She comes over for Sunday dinners even when Nate has to work late, helps my mom with her gardening, and has this way of making everyone feel comfortable. There that couple everyone wants to be, supportive, communicative, genuinely happy together. About a year ago, I started noticing Emma's sister Tara at our family. gatherings. She's different from Emma, outgoing, vivacious, always the center of attention.

Where Emma is warm but reserved, Tara is loud and magnetic. She has this laugh that fills a room, and she's always telling stories that have everyone hanging on her every word. I found myself drawn to her. We'd chat at family events, and there was definitely some flirting going on. She'd touch my arm when she laughed at my jokes, seek me out when she arrived at gathers. text me random funny things during the week. I'm not usually one for casual relationships. I tend to take things seriously, which is probably why I hadn't dated much before.

After a few months of this back and forth at family gatherings, I finally worked up the courage to ask Tara out. It took me weeks to decide how to do it. I wanted it to be casual but clear that I was interested in her romantically. I called her on a Tuesday evening after pacing around my apartment for an hour and asked if she wanted to grab dinner sometime. She said yes immediately, didn't even hesitate. I was over the moon.

I later found out that Emma had warned Tara not to date me unless she was serious, because it could complicate things for both families. Tara apparently brushed her off, saying Emma was overreacting and needed to stop being so uptight about everything. Our first date went really well. She wore this red dress that made it hard for me to focus on the menu. The conversation flowed easily, and I felt this connection I hadn't felt with anyone before. We stayed until closing, and when I walked her to her car, she kissed me first.

I called Nate and Emma afterward, couldn't help myself. I was excited like a teenager after prom night. I also texted my parents about it. Everyone seemed happy for me, though I could sense Emma was still a bit reserved. She sent me a text the next day saying she was glad I had a good time. time but reminded me that Tara had a history of not treating guys well. I brushed it off as sisterly-type concern. Things moved quickly after that. We kept seeing each other, almost every night for that first week, and within a month, we were officially a couple. I introduced Tara to my

friends, brought her to work events. My friends seemed to like her, though my buddy Chris pulled me aside at a barbecue and said she seemed high maintenance. I dismissed it at the time. but it wasn't all smooth sailing. We started having these arguments, sometimes over small things, other times over bigger issues. She'd cancel plans last minute because something better came up with her friends,

or I'd get annoyed when she'd be on her phone the entire time we were together, constantly checking Instagram and texting people. I'd ventinate sometimes about how frustrating it could be, and I knew Tara would call Emma to complain about me too. Emma would occasionally mention to me that Tara had called her upset. said about something I said or did, usually things I didn't even remember or certainly didn't think

were a big deal. Despite the fights, I was falling hard. I started wanting to know where she was all the time, who she was with. Looking back, I can see I was becoming possessive, but at the time, it felt like I was just invested in the relationship. I started checking her social media constantly, noting who commented on her photos, who she was tagging in posts. I'd ask her to text me when she got places, when she was leaving places, who was going to be at the gatherings she attended. She seemed annoyed by it, but would usually comply, though sometimes with an eye roll or a sigh that made me feel like I was being unreasonable. But I couldn't help it, I had this constant fear that I would lose her, that she would find someone more exciting, less conventional than me.

Then three months into our relationship, I had this gut feeling something was off. Tara said she was going out with some work friends on a Friday night. She'd been mentioning this one co-worker, Alex, quite a bit over the previous weeks. It was always Alex said this funny thing today or Alex and I are working on this project together. I tried to shake it off, but the feeling wouldn't go away. She was being vague about where they were going, kept changing the subject when I asked for details. So I did something I'm not proud of, I decided to show up at the bar where she said they'd be. I told myself I would just peek in, maybe wave if she saw me.

pretend I was meeting someone else there if she asked. When I got there, I saw her sitting at a table with this guy. Just the two of them, no work friends in sight. They were leaning in close, laughing, touching hands. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. My blood was boiling. I stood there watching them for probably five minutes, frozen in disbelief and anger,

before I finally stormed over and confronted them. Tara seemed shocked to see me, her eyes wide with surprise and what looked like guilt. She tried to explain that Alex was just a co-worker, that they were just having a friendly drink, that the others had cancelled last minute. I didn't believe her. The guy stood up and told me to calm down, said I was embarrassing Tara and myself. Something in me snapped when he put his hand on my chest to push me back. I threw the first punch.

Next thing I knew, we were on the ground. cables got knocked over, glasses broke. The bartender was yelling. Someone called the cops. I was arrested for the first time in my life. They took me to the station, booked me for assault and destruction of property. I had to call Nate to bail me out because I was too ashamed to call my parents. I was humiliated when he and Emma showed up at the station at 2 a.m.

In the car, I explained what happened, how I'd followed Tara because I was a.m. suspicious, how I saw her with this guy, how I lost my temper. Nate kept saying he understood but that I needed to get my jealousy under control. Emma was quiet the whole ride home, just kept looking at me with this expression I couldn't read. When they dropped me off, she hugged me tightly and whispered, be careful. I didn't understand what she meant at the time. The next day, Tara called me, furious. She also revealed something I hadn't even realized, in the chaos. of the bar fight, I had accidentally hit her too. I didn't remember doing it, but she said

she had a black eye. She sent me a photo, and sure enough, there was a bruise forming under her left eye. I felt sick. I've never hit a woman in my life. I didn't mean to hurt her. It was an accident in the heat of the moment. But the damage was done. I couldn't stop staring at that photo, couldn't believe I was capable of causing that kind of harm, even accidentally. Tara said she wanted to break up, said she couldn't be with someone who would stalk her and get violent. The worst part? She wasn't actually lying about Alex being just a coworker that night. She showed me proofs later that people indeed canceled last minute. My jealousy had made me overreact at exactly the wrong moment. I also found out that Alex

dropped the assault charges against me, but only because Tara had pleaded with him too. She later showed me the texts where she convinced him that pressing charges would only make things worse. He's getting help, I promise, she had written. Please do this for me. Alex had reluctantly agreed, telling her I'm only doing this for you, not him. This made me feel even worse about the whole situation. I was guilty, but got off because of Tara's intervention. I begged her not to.

I got on my knees during a tear-filled meeting at her apartment, promised I would get help, that I would work on my jealousy and anger. I suggested counseling, both individual and couples therapy. I told her I loved her, that I was sorry, that I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. She was hesitant but agreed to think about it. I wrote her long messages apologizing, promising to change. I read books about anger management and jealousy, started looking into therapists. Eventually, she agreed to give me another chance.

She said she loved me too much to walk away, that she believed I could change, that the incident had scared her but that she knew the real me was gentle and kind. We started seeing a therapist together. I also began individual counseling for my anger issues. Things improved slowly. The therapist helped me understand my possessive behavior and gave me tools to manage my jealousy. After six months of therapy and what I thought was real progress, I asked Tara to move in with me.

She agreed enthusiastically, said she had been waiting for me to ask. Living together had its challenges. She was messier than I expected. I was more routine-oriented than she liked. She wanted to go out on weeknights, I preferred to save socializing for the weekends. But I was committed to making it work. I thought we were solid, that we had overcome our early issues. I planned a surprise proposal during a work trip to Chicago.

I spent weeks planning it, coordinating with the restaurant, picking out the perfect ring. I took her to the top of the Willis Tower, got down on one knee with the city light spread out below us. She said yes immediately, started crying. It felt like everything had fallen into place. Later that night, as we lay in bed, she told me she had never been happier, that she couldn't wait to be my wife, that she knew we were meant to be together forever. Both our families were thrilled about the engagement. We had a dinner to celebrate, and everyone seemed genuinely happy. My mom cried and kept hugging Tara, telling her she had always wanted a daughter-in-law like her and Emma.

My dad pulled me aside and said he was proud of how I had grown up, how I had worked on myself, how I had found someone who made me happy. I noticed Emma pulled Tara aside at one point during the celebration, a serious look on her face, but Tara returned from the conversation. smiling, assuring me that everything was fine, that Emma was just being protective as usual, that she had told Emma I had changed, that we were in a good place now. We spent the next few months planning the wedding. My parents were generous and covered most of the expenses. Tara wanted something elaborate, she had always dreamed of a big wedding, she said. The perfect dress, the perfect venue, the perfect flowers.

I wanted to give her everything she wanted. I remember sitting with her as she went through bridal magazines, pointing out the dresses she liked, the color scheme she was considering. She was so happy, so excited about our future together. I felt like the luckiest man alive. The day itself was perfect. The ceremony was at this beautiful old church, followed by a reception at a country club overlooking a lake. She looked stunning walking down the aisle in her lace dress, her hair up with a few curls framing her feet. face. I remember my hands shaking as I recited my vows, how her eyes teared up as she said hers.

I remember thinking how lucky I was, that all the rough patches had been worth it to get to this moment. Everyone commented on what a beautiful couple we made, how happy we seemed, how they could feel the love between us. After the wedding, we went on a honeymoon to Bali. Two weeks of paradise, white sand beaches, crystal clear water, luxurious resorts. Tara posted pictures constantly, texted updates to her family. In every photo, we were smiling, arms around each other, the perfect newlyweds. She would pose us carefully for each shot, sometimes taking dozens before she was satisfied. At the time, I found it endearing, how she wanted to capture every moment.

Now, I see it differently. We've been back for about a month now. I had to go on a business trip last week. It was the first time we had been apart since the wedding. I called her each night, sent her text updates throughout the day. She seemed distracted on the calls, said she was just tired from work, that everything was fine. When I got back, something felt off. Tara was distant, on her phone more than usual, went to bed early claiming headaches.

I tried to brush it off as post-honeymoon blues or stress from going back to work. I made her favorite dinner one night, suggested we watched that show she had been wanting to see, tried to reconnect. Then yesterday, Nate called me. His voice was serious in a way that made my stomach drop immediately. He asked if I was sitting down. Then he told me something that turned my world upside down. Emma had just informed him that Tara had confessed to cheating on me. Apparently, Tara had invited Emma over while I was on my business trip and asked her to

cover for her when she went out with other men. Not man. Men. Plural. She admitted she had already cheated multiple times and didn't plan on stopping. She told Emma she loved the security of marriage but wasn't built for monogamy. Emma had been horrified and immediately told Nate, who felt obligated to tell me. I confronted Tara as soon as she got home from work.

She denied everything at first, said Emma was making it up, that she was jealous. of our relationship, that she had always tried to come between us. We had a huge fight. She called Emma a liar, said I was choosing my family over her, that I obviously didn't trust her. I ended up grabbing her phone and locking myself in the bathroom. She pounded on the door, screaming at me to give it back, threatening to call the police. I ignored her and started going through her messages. What I found made me physically ill. Messages to multiple men, Some I recognized as her coworkers, others complete strangers to me. Explicit conversations, plans to meet up, photos I can't even describe.

Messages that dated back months, even before our wedding. Messages from during our honeymoon, sent while I was showering or napping. I forwarded everything to myself as proof, taking screenshots, then I came out and handed her back the phone. I didn't say a word. I just packed a bag and left as she followed me around the apartment. alternating between apologizing and blaming me for invading her privacy. She grabbed my arm as I reached the door, begging me to stay, to talk, to work it out. I removed her hand and walked out without looking back.

I'm staying at a hotel right now. I've contacted a lawyer about divorce proceedings. Everything I believed about our relationship was a lie. I don't know how I'm going to face my family, my friends. everyone at the wedding, everyone who congratulated us. Everyone who watched me promise to love her forever just weeks ago. I feel like such a fool. Update 1.

It's been a week since I found out about terrorist cheating and left our apartment. I've been staying at this hotel, just trying to process everything. I still haven't gone back to the apartment. I can't face it yet. Can't see our wedding photos on the walls, our merged belongings. the bed we shared. I've been in contact with my lawyer, starting the divorce proceedings. Apparently you can't get a moment for cheating. Can't believe I'm saying that. Divorce. After less than two months of marriage. The word feels foreign in my mouth, like something that

happens to other people, older people, people who've been together for years and grown apart. Not newlyweds who are still supposed to be in the honeymoon phase. The lawyer says, because it's been such a short marriage and we have clear evidence of infidelity, things should be relatively straightforward. No kids, thankfully, we had talked about starting a family next year, had even picked out names during one of those late-night conversations about our future. We don't own property together, we were renting the apartment while saving for a house. The only complicated thing is that my parents paid for most of the wedding, around $40,000. An amount that makes me nauseous to think about now, knowing it was all for a sham marriage.

The lawyer says we might be able to recoup some of that, given the circumstances, but I don't know if I want to drag this out any longer than necessary. I just want it over with, want to cut all ties with Tara, want to pretend this chapter of my life never happened. Tara's been blowing up my phone. Calls, texts, voicemails, dozens each day, alternating between apologizing and blaming me. Saying I was too controlling, that I drove her to it, that my jealousy made her feel trapped. Then saying she loves me and wants to work it out, that we can go to counseling

again, that she'll change. Then accusing Emma of meddling and trying to ruin our marriage out of jealousy. It's exhausting. I've stopped responding. I blocked her number after the first few days, but she keeps finding ways to contact me, creating new email addresses, using friends' phones. I've saved it all for the lawyer, evidence of harassment if we need it. Nate and Emma have been my rocks through all this. They've offered their guest room, home-cooked meals, a shoulder to cry on. But I need some space right now, need to process this on my own before I can face anyone's pity or concern. Emma feels guilty for telling Nate, which led to him telling me, but I assured her she did the right thing.

I would rather know the truth, as painful as it is, than live in ignorance while my wife makes a fool of me. Emma said she wrestled with whether to tell me, that her loyalty to her sister made her hesitate, but ultimately she couldn't bear to see me betrayed like that. She's a better sister to me than Tara deserves. The hardest part was telling my parents. They loved Tara. They thought she was perfect for me, especially. after seeing how I'd changed for her, the therapy, the anger management.

My mom had already started talking about grandchildren, had embraced her completely. Mom cried when I told them what happened. Body-shaking sobs that made me feel even worse somehow. Dad got quiet in that way he does when he's really angry, his jaw clenched, his eyes hard. They wanted to know details, but I spared them most of it. Just said she had been unfaithful multiple times and that it was. over. Mom asked if there was any chance of reconciliation. I said no, and I meant it. There's no coming back from this level of betrayal. I've taken some time off work. My boss was understanding when I

explained the situation, just said to take the time I needed and check in when I could. My co-workers don't know the details, just that I'm dealing with a family emergency. I keep replaying our relationship in my head, looking for signs I missed. The time she was vague about her plans, the girls' nights that went suspiciously late, the co-workers she mentioned too often. Was she cheating all along? Even before we got married? Was the bar incident with her coworker Alex actually what I suspected it was?

Did she sleep with him that night after I was arrested? I'll probably never know the full truth, and maybe that's for the best. Each new revelation is like a fresh knife to the gut. I haven't been sleeping well. I keep having these dreams where everything is normal, we're happy, we're planning our future, and then I wake up in this hotel room alone. The crash back to reality is brutal every time. The mini bar in my room has been restocked twice already this week.

Not proud of that, but it's the only way I can fall asleep some nights. The hotel staff have started giving me these pitying looks. I must be quite the sight, unshaven, red-eyed, the same few outfits rotated because I only grabbed what I could fit in one suitcase when I left. My friends have been checking in, wanting to grab drinks, offering support. I haven't taken anyone up on it yet. I'm not ready to talk about it face to face. Hence why I'm writing this all out here, to strangers who don't know me or Tara, who can't look at me with that awful combination of sympathy and curiosity. Who won't tell me what a great couple we seem to be or ask what went wrong? I'm meeting with the lawyer again

tomorrow to go over the initial paperwork. Tara doesn't know yet that I've initiated divorce proceedings. I'm not looking forward to her reaction when she gets served. But there's no going back from this. No amount of therapy or promises or tears can fix what's broken now. Our marriage was dead before it even really began. Update 2. It's been two weeks since my last update, three weeks total since I found out about Tara's

cheating. A lot has happened. none of it pleasant. Tara was served with divorce papers last week at her office. I didn't want to do it that way, would have preferred somewhere private, but the lawyer advised it was the most straightforward approach given that she wasn't at our apartment much and I didn't want to meet her in person. Her reaction was exactly what I expected, a complete meltdown.

She showed up at my hotel that same evening, somehow figured out where I was staying. Probably called every Madrange hotel downtown until she found one with my name. in the system. The front desk called my room around 8 p.m. saying there was a woman causing a scene in the lobby, claiming to be my wife and demanding to know my room number. I had to go down there and deal with it. She was crying, mascara running down her face, hair disheveled, shouting that I couldn't do this, that we needed to talk, that I owed her that much at least. Several other guests were staring. A security guard was hovering nearby. I felt a mix of embarrassment, anger, and this residual ache of seeing her so upset despite everything.

I agreed to speak with her briefly in the hotel restaurant. In retrospect, I should have just had security escort her out. The conversation went nowhere, just round and round in circles of accusations and excuses. She tried everything, tears, pleading, anger, manipulation. Said the messages I found were just flirting, nothing physical ever happened, a lie, based on what I read. Said she had a sex addiction and needed help, not abandonment. Said she was going through something, that she had been confused about what she wanted but now she knew it was me, only me, forever. Then switched to blaming Emma again, saying she was trying to sabotage our marriage because she was jealous of our relationship, that she had always

been jealous of Tara's freedom and passion. When none of that worked, she threatened to tell everyone that I had been abusive. Referencing the bar incident where I accidentally hit her during the fight. Said she still had pictures of the black eye, that everyone would believe her over me, that I'd lose my job, my friends, my reputation. I remained calm, told her the divorce was happening whether she cooperated or not, and that if she continued to harass me or spread lies, I would get a restraining order and sue her for defamation. I had all her text messages saved, after all, evidence of her affairs and her character. Then I walked away.

She followed me to the elevator, still yelling, alternating between threats and pleas, until hotel security stepped in. I went back to my room and immediately called my lawyer to update him on the situation. He advised documenting everything and said we'd file a restraining order if necessary. The next day, I finally went back to her apartment to get more of my things. I asked Nate to come with me in case Tara was there. She wasn't, probably at work, though honestly I had no idea what her schedule was anymore and didn't care to know. I packed up most of my clothes, some personal items, my computer, important documents.

Left the furniture, kitchen stuff, wedding gifts, all of it. I just wanted my personal belongings, things that mattered to me before Tara, things that weren't tainted by association with our relationship. Nate helped me carry everything to his car. We didn't talk much during the process, but his presence was a comfort. I've moved out of the hotel and into a small furnished apartment with a month-to-month lease. At least I can cook for myself here, try to establish some kind of routine. I've gone back to work, though it's hard to focus.

My mind wanders constantly, everyone at the office knows something's wrong. I went from newly married and happy to obviously not wearing my ring and looking like I haven't slept in weeks, but they've been respectful about not prying. A few close colleagues have asked if I'm okay, and I've given vague responses about personal issues. I'm not ready to say the words my wife cheated on me and were getting divorced out loud to people I have to see every day. My parents came to see the new place yesterday. Mom brought groceries, homemade lasagna, fresh sheets for the bed. Dad helped me set up the TV and Internet, hung a few pictures I had taken from the apartment. They didn't stay long.

I think it's hard for them to see me like this. They had such high hopes when I got married. Their younger son, finally settled down with a nice girl. Now I'm back to square one, but worse, damaged, distrustful, going through a divorce at 28. When they left, Mom hugged me tight and whispered that it would get better with time. I wanted to believe her. The lawyer says Tara is contesting the divorce, claiming there's no proof of adultery. I forwarded him all the messages I saved from her phone,

dozens of explicit exchanges with at least four different men, arrangements to meet at hotels while I was at work, complaints about how boring I was in bed compared to them. He says it's more than enough evidence that her contesting is just a delay tactic. She's just trying to drag things out, maybe hoping I'll give up and agree to counseling or something. Not happening. The lawyer assures me that even with her fighting it, the divorce should be finalized within

six months at most given the circumstances. Emma reached out to me directly for the first time since everything blew up. We met for coffee at a place far from both our usual haunts, somewhere we wouldn't run into anyone we know. She apologized again for her part in it all, for not seeing what Tara was capable of, for not warning me more explicitly before the wedding. I told her she had nothing to apologize for. If anything, I owe her for having the courage to tell Nate the truth when it would have been easier to stay quiet.

She mentioned that Tara has been bad-mouthing her to their parents, saying she ruined Tara's marriage out of spite. Their dad apparently isn't buying it, has always been able to see through Tara's manipulations, but their mom is torn. Family drama I don't need to be involved in anymore, but it pains me to see Emma suffering for doing the right thing. I am so effing tired right now with everything going on. That's it for now, I might provide an update later when something happens. I hope you enjoy this story. The resident became extremely upset when we constructed a barrier on our land as it prevents her from intruding through our garden. She has contacted law enforcement, submitted inaccurate complaints, and is causing distress.

Us. We used to get along great with our next-door neighbor. For context she is an older Polish woman who lives alone and is very OCD about her grass. She will pick up leaves as they fall down from the tree and pick up leaves off her grass even if it rained. Anyway, she has a front fence that she didn't run all down her property line. She stopped it at the front so her whole right side of her home is exposed next to ours. Then picked up the fence when her backyard begins. We had more than a few times where strangers would enter the side of our house, and actually try and enter our home.

So my husband decided to put up a front fence. At the time my neighbor was redoing her backyard fence and she knew my husband also wanted to do his backyard fence so she recommend her guy. As she followed up to see if my husband called the guy to get the work my husband told her that he did and that he also asked the guy for a quote for the front as well. She immediately lost it.

Since then she has been acting so crazy. It started with her calling the alderman and she wrongfully accused us of taking her land. The alderman came and spoke with us and sided with me and my husband. The problem is that she wants to use our front walkway that's on the side of our house to access her right side of her property. The side that she didn't fence, so she fenced herself out and has always just went on our property to access her side.

She's mad because with our fence she can't just walk in and go to her side of her house anymore. We told her we would give her a key and she said no. Since she accused us of stealing her land, we didn't feel comfortable about allowing her to come and go off our property anymore, but she didn't care. She called a handyman to install a security camera and he worked on our side of the property and she didn't ask. I asked the guy to please inform her for any future work she will need to ask us for permission before she enters our property. The security camera was to watch us because she was so paranoid we would build a fence. This Saturday we had the company begin work and she totally lost. She harassed the workers telling them to stop work and she was accusing us of stealing land.

She threatened to report them to the city and to call the inspector on us. My husband had to stay outside with guys as they worked and when he went in she would come back out and harassed them. Then she called the police. For police cars came. I don't know what she told them but it was not the truth because the cops sided with us and told her to stay inside and not bother us. Then Sunday she paces looking at our fence posts staring.

She looked at our fence posts like ten times on Sunday and then she was pacing our backyard and we have her on camera just staring and pacing and starting in. So creepy. Then Monday she is walking and starting again and she stops on of our neighbors and starts complaining to him about our fence right in front of our house. She continues pacing and staring through the day. Then later that Monday a guy comes and she walks into our house and he starts to looking at our posts. My husband came out this time and asked the guy who his was and why he was

interested in looking at our property. He told us that he is a realtor and a good friend of hers, and he came because she called him telling him that we stole her property from her and accused us of putting posts on her property, which was all lies. We immediately showed him our proof and he agreed with us and tried to mediate with her explaining that we are legally able to build and that she can extend her fence so she is not blocked out. She just said no. No. No. and didn't want to do that. So my husband just left we made sure everything was recorded. Then today.

She came outside and stared at our property again just pacing. She did the same in the backyard. Then she went to the front and started flagging down neighbors who she never talks to and starts to complain about our fence calling us bad people and that we are stealing her land. She is acting so malicious. What do I do? It's crazy.

Edit. So I called the police to see what she accused us of on Saturday. They said that she alleged we were encroaching on her property and blocking her egress. The claim was noted as false by the police. Update, March 20, 2025. It snowed and the neighbor came out with her hair curlers and her hair and her pajamas and slippers no jacket, so she was in some hurry and went to the front of our house to stare while she was on the phone. Not sure what information she needed from staring at our posts, maybe she needed our address. Looks like she's trying to call someone else on us. She is straight loosing it as she knows the fence will be completed as soon as weather is

better. Additional info, Boop clarifies the drawing of the fences. Boop, sorry yes, the drawing isn't the greatest. But to help explain she has a six feet iron fence in the front of her property. It goes all the way down the left side of her house, but on the right side she stopped the fence at the beginning of her house and curved it in. So it leaves the right side of her house not fenced all the way until the end of her house. She then continues the fence and curves it in when her garage begins.

She is upset because with our front fence she can't go on our property to get to her side. Every day she is out staring and calling people to her house to look at it and complain. Update 1, April 10, 2025. Our fence has been up for a week and a half. The neighbor surprisingly did not bother the workers when they put the panels up. I was so surprised so that's why I didn't really do an update because I was like okay. This is over. Finally she must have come to her senses.

Yeah, I was wrong. On Tuesday I was coming home from picking up my child from school and some man ran out his car and shouted if I was the owner of the home. I asked who he was and he stated he was from the city building in code enforcement while also briefly flashed. his ID at me. I then proceeded to tell him that I am the owner and why was he here. He stated that he received a complaint about a building violation and that our fence is too tall and we must cut it down from six feet to five feet. Keep in mind my neighbor's fence is taller than ours BTW. I told the inspector that three licensed contractors that we contacted all informed us we didn't need a permit, but that if they were wrong we would gladly comply,

of course, and or apply for the needed permit. He stated that there is no possible. He stated that there is no way the city would approve it. And I told him we will work with the city and find a solution. We don't want to cut corners and want to do it right. My husband then comes out and gets informed on what's going on and then my husband asks the inspector for his email or business card so we can follow up and work together to fix it. The guy refused to give us any card or email to follow up with him. He told my husband all the information is on the city website. Why do you need my information for? He was very rude. I know how to talk with people, so I told him.

Look, I get you come across a lot of people who argue back and give you a hard time so you're on guard. But I assure you we don't want to argue and we want to fix this issue. He then calmed down and told us he has kids too and he understand why we need a fence, etc. He then told us he would give us 48 hours to get a permit and then he left. Once I got home, I reviewed the camera footage and the inspector entered our property and did not ring the doorbell to try and speak with us. He just trespassed and was walking around looking at our property. He didn't measure anything. Nothing.

So I began to get suspicious. I then remembered when my neighbor threatened us and the workers saying she had an inspector friend and she was going to report us. On top of that, why didn't the inspector want to give me any information to follow up? So weird. Then he tells me to get a permit in 48 hours? He didn't even tell me which one. and if he said the city would not approve it, why didn't he tell me to apply in 48 hours? Things just seemed off.

I'd so then I went to do my research. I contacted my alderman's office and asked for assistance in applying for a permit. I wanted to make sure we did the right steps. After we apply for our permit, I asked the representative if they could look up the complaint for me because the interaction with the inspector seems suspicious. She agreed and looks up the report. There was a report made 17 days ago by our neighbor, before our fence panels were up, that our fence was not on our property line.

The report said nothing about fence height. She also told me there was no inspector assigned to the case and that it was still open pending investigation. So that's weird. I'd maybe he was legit and didn't update the case, but it's all not adding up. So the alderman agrees this is weird and states that they are going to get someone from downtown involved to speak with my neighbor because she is harassing us and it's just too much. The report she made was false. Our fence posts are on our property lines. We have our Platt

survey that proves all of this. In addition to all the other things listed in my other Reddit posts that she has done. So today I'm just minding my own business like I usually do and I get a notification on my camera. I see someone sticking their hand through my fence pointing at my back and moving down my fence repeatedly doing the same thing. So I go outside and calmly ask the women, do you have any questions about my fence that I can help you with? I see that you're sticking your hand through and pointing she tells me I'm your neighbor down the block. I was just speaking with your next door neighbor and she has a problem with your fence.

I let her know that the neighbor's claims are bogus and that we now have a permit for the height of our fence and I have a survey of our property proving we are on our property line. I told her that the neighbor is crazy and if she has any concerns to please speak, with me. As I turn I see my neighbor in her bushes by her door. She was outside the whole time and stopped the neighbor as she was walking her dog to complain about our fence and spread false claims again. Then the neighbor leaves and immediately stands and stares at our house looking at the permit displayed on our front door. This is getting crazy and I really didn't want to do tit for tat, but I reported her illegal basement apartment which is not a false allegation

because her zoning does not allow for a basement apartment. She also does not not have two entrances. I really didn't want to do it, but she is really pushing me to become a person I don't want to be. I want this all to be over already. Praying she can finally understand reality soon. I will update if anything else happens. Additional information from OOP who has received the translation of the audio file. OOP, I got the translation. Here it is if you're interested. women, is my crazy neighbor man, is her realtor friend she called over to look at my house and complain. It looks like he was trying to actually help us and she was getting mad at him.

He was mostly trying to mediate with her allowing us to close the back fence that has always been closed for over 20 years, but now that she is mad she is not allowing us to close it because she owns a couple inches of property next to her garage that is unfenced and open to our property. So in order to close it off from the alley we need to close. It on her few inches of property or else someone can slip through. Easily. She is just using that as leverage. Doesn't matter to us we can just fence it straight down our property if we have to and she will have awkward fenced in boxes on the side of her house and she can't get in.

Makes no sense she is just using that as leverage because it's all she has. That's the backstory on the back, L-O-L and below in the transcript woman. It's mine, man, yeah, but you use this. M, the rats were running in front of the garage. W, he should catch those rats M, okay, today. W, curses, I'm sorry. The rats were running M. Does it bother you?

Why? W, yes, it bothers me and He will destroy it. Because he is so mean and It will. M, but he asked you and you agreed. No, nobody talked to me about it. They just put up the fence, English part, W, cries, Jesus, on, no, no, M.

And now what's bothering you? That it'll be open or that it'll be closed? W, what that? M, so if he closes it and puts... Something. It'll be safer for you and for M, W. But... But it's mine M.

Why does that... bother you. W, it bothers me because I'll have the entrance there. M, where? W, from that side M. But from that side you block the entrance yourself. W, I'm going home because it's too cold. Are we going? M, wait a second. W, no, no, I don't want to talk to him. I'll talk to someone else. I'm going to go to the city hall M. What do you want them to do? 2. Put here. W, I'll just sort this out. I'm not giving up M.

To be honest, I'll tell you, I live in a building far from the downtown and I've done something. To my neighbors too. They have, something near their house. W, but why are you talking to them? You came to see me. M, you know what, I think you could stand your ground but it doesn't make sense because E. W. Yeah, I'll stand my ground. and he will do the same.

You know what? Nobody asks me for my permission, and do what they want M. He said that he asked, for permission, W. You know what? I'm saying M. But why do you need the entrance to the garage from this side? W, they did everything? Nobody asked me.

It's mine M. But you should look and see what you did to the neighbors. Something with the entrance? W, this had been like this since the beginning, do you remember? M, but today someone could come to you and tell you, to take down something? W, then I'll take it down M. That would satisfy you? W, you know what, I'm going home, M.

If I were you I would let him, to do that thing, W. And I won't M, but it'll be safer, and he will put a fence here W and no. M, so you will have W a no. Nobody asked me and I won't allow it, so. I'm going home, I'm cold M. I'll go with you soon, W. You shouldn't be the one sorting this out, English part, update two. April 29th, 2025.

I know it's been a few weeks since my last update. A few of my neighbors actually found my post, so to protect the privacy and security of myself and my neighbor I removed my old posts because there was pictures and videos that I didn't want getting shared to neighborhood platforms. I mainly made my post event and get feedback and didn't intend on it getting so popular it made it around the world and back to my block, L.O.L. But I do appreciate the support and advice from everyone. On to the update, so a lot has happened in the past two weeks. To start the workers came back to paint our fence and weld some mesh on the fence. Our neighbor freaked out and thought the workers

welded our fence to her post. She called our mediator, representative from the alderman's office. She came out to check and immediately saw that we did not connect her fence post to ours. Then our neighbor got mad and started demanding for us to personally show her our fence plans and permits. We had our permit on our door. She got more mad and used a racial slur towards me and my family and keep in mind she said the racial slur about us to the representative of the alderman's office. So it has been documented. That same day an officer from the city department from building and code enforcement showed up to our house again. It was a different guy this time, he told us that there was a report made alleging we were building a whole new garage without a permit.

We haven't changed our garage at all. It's the same as when we bought our home and it's clear to anyone it was not just built. The building inspector immediately closed the case. At this point our neighbor is being malicious and is making false reports to harass us. What really worries me is that if we ever want to sell our home these reports stay on record even though they are false and dismissed. After this we did a FOIA, Freedom of Information Act, for any 311 reports for our address. She made three reports to the city DOB, Department of Buildings, all made in March and all made before our fence panels were even put up. She alleged we built a new garage, that our fence posts was not on our property line, and that we had installed a side fence fence fence without building permit. All false allegations. Keep in mind we adjust the posts up March 18th and our panels didn't

get put until April 5th. We also didn't build the side fence she is talking about. Yet. So she did a complaint in advance assuming we have no permit. Can't even make this stuff up. It's insane. Then she made a false allegation to a police officer and told them my husband was yelling and screaming at her and throwing his hands up intimidating her during a time she was talking to her neighbor. Then the said neighbor walks to her car at the same moment her and the cop are talking in my neighbor points telling the cop to go ask the women, our neighbor from across the street. The cop goes over and talks to her and the woman tells the cop my husband didn't do what was alleged. Then the cop goes back over and tells my neighbor that the witness to the alleged incident says nothing like that happened. I also had the video and audio recording of that conversation. My husband went outside because she involved three neighbors at this point. calling them over talking about our fence and us. He went outside to talk to the other people and not her. Even his body language in the video was not aggressive and he was not talking to her directly

at all. After he told the neighbors what is happening, our side, he left and let them continue talking. Yet she wants to actually lie and try and put him in jail. So glad I have every interaction recorded. Same day she gets very erratic and upset that things didn't go her way, that she comes outside while I'm outside and starts singing, humming like an opera singer. She has never did this before and it was just weird. I ignore her as I always do and just let her be.

Then she decides to go inside and get her purse to pretend like she is going somewhere and goes across the street intentionally avoiding crossing in front of the neighbor who told the truth to the cops. They were outside on their porch. I assume she is now upset with them because they told the truth. Then she goes and talks to their next door neighbor who was just watering her grass. She proceeds to talk about our fence and us to them. I saw it all plain as day because I was outside.

I let it go because I want to avoid her as I always do, but it was so annoying. Then she leaves and literally five minutes later she comes back in her house. She just went around the block and pretended to leave to just talk to another neighbor about us and just slander us and paint us as bad people. I honestly cannot understand this behavior. Then same day she calls someone over to come look at. at our backyard. I literally can't catch a break with her. We aren't doing anything wrong. Our fence is permitted by the city. She is just mad that she can't walk down our property as she did for 28 years to reach the side of her house that she fenced herself out from

and she can fix but she refuses and instead blames us. I hope you enjoy this story. Three siblings aged three ruined my expensive gaming arrangement worth $2,000 during their visit to my place. However, after her spouse assisted in repairing it, she expelled him and is preventing him from visiting. Their kid. Hi everyone. I'm honestly at my breaking point with this one. I need outside perspective because my entire family is acting like I'm Hitler for standing my ground. So, I, 25F, am a student software developer and a pretty serious PC gamer in my free time.

I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment that I've spent years making cozy and function. I saved up for a long time to build my dream PC setup, triple monitors, custom mechanical keyboard, ergonomic chair, the works. Altogether, my rig is worth a bit over $2,000, and I take care of it like it's a damn child. Last weekend, my older sister, 30F asked if she could crash at my place for one night because her apartment was being fumigated, and her husband was out of town. She has a three-year-old son, Max, whose, let's say spirited. I love him, but he's a little chaos goblin. I hesitated, but she swore she'd keep an eye on him and that it'd just be for one night.

They show up Saturday afternoon, and immediately it's clear she wasn't kidding about Max being a handful. Within ten minutes of arriving, he'd pulled four books off my shelf, throw him my houseplants on the floor, and spilled juice on my area rug. I tried to stay chill, he's three, I get it, but I asked my sister politely to please keep him. him out of my office, where my PC setup is. She rolls her eyes and goes, he's just exploring, he's curious, it's normal. But she closes the office door anyway. Cut to Sunday morning. I wake up to screaming. Max had apparently woken up before his mom, managed to open the office door, and decided my setup was his new jungle gym. He pulled down one of my monitors, cracking the screen. He stuck crackers into the PC tower's ventilation slots, I'm not kidding, yanked out my keyboard's keycaps, and had colored on my chair with permanent marker.

The cherry on top. He poured apple juice into the tower. Into IT. When I tell you I went silent. I mean dead silent. My sister comes in, sees the damage, and just says, oh no, in this incredibly flat tone, like someone knocked over a cup of coat. I start freaking out, and she has the audacity to say, you should have baby-proofed the room if it was that important to you.

I lost it. I told her that one, she knew he wasn't supposed to be in there. Two, this is my space, not a damn daycare, and three, baby-proofing a $2,000 gaming setup is not a standard requirement for adults living alone. She told me to calm down and said that he's just a kid, and stuff is replaceable. I told her she could replace it then. She said she didn't have the money right now, but maybe in a few months she could give me a few hundred. I told her that wasn't acceptable and that she needed to take full responsibility.

She left in a huff and now my whole family is blowing up my phone. My mom says I'm being materialistic and should understand that my nephew didn't mean it. My dad said I should have locked the door if it was that important. My brother actually said, why do you even need three monitors anyway? That's kind of overkill. I filed a claim with my insurance, but there's no guarantee it'll be covered since it was technically guess damage. I also told her that if she does not pay up, I'll take her to court for what happened. Now I'm getting texts from my sister demanding an apology for blaming her kid for being curious.

I told her I'd drop it if she covered the cost of repairs and replacements, or at least met me halfway, and she blocked me. So, am I overreacting if I take my sister to court over this? Edit 1. My sister still has not unblocked me, but her husband reached out to find out what happened. I'm sorry I don't have more to tell yet, but I'll update again when I do. Seriously, thanks for the insights everyone. My head is a lot clearer now. Edit 2, Hey y'all. My sister's husband reached out as mentioned earlier, and we're working out a solution if possible.

He's been really understanding as have all of you. Also, to clarify the office situation, my one-bedroom apartment is on the smaller side, 33 square meters slash 355 square feet, so the landlord converted an old ex-closed cabinet into a makeshift office. It's weird, but the building is from the 40s, and I-G they had to get creative with the space with an old tenant or something. So it's living room, sister and her kids slept there, plus kitchen, I slept there, plus the office. Thanks for all the support and the award I really don't have the words for how nice people have been in both DMs in the comments

Update 1, April 16th, 2025 Hey again Just wanted to post a quick update since it's been a little under a week and a few people asked what happened next Things are better, pretty fucking weird, and still ongoing, but here's where we're at. This Saturday, my brother-in-law, B.L. came a over to check out the damage himself. He actually brought Max, toddler, with him, which I was almost livid about at first, but he had a reason. He asked Max to try opening the office-slash-closet door. The kid couldn't do it. The door was too heavy for him. You probably can guess where this is

going. Equals, Bill offered to take my PC to the store that originally built it for me, just to see what was fixable. I agreed, but asked for something in writing just so I had some peace of mind. We put together a little agreement that he'd be responsible for it while it was with him. Yeah, yeah, it was just a formality and would not hold much merit anywhere, but it helped me feel a bit more in control. On Monday, he dropped it off at the shop and gave them my number so they could keep me updated. He also told me he confronted my sister about how things played out. I sent him my original Reddit post too, he read the comments and apparently showed them to her. She still hasn't unblocked me, and from what I've heard, was not happy about the fact my bill is actually listening to me.

I also shared the post and some comments with my parents and brothers since no one really believed me before. My parents still don't fully get it, but they've at least stopped pushing back. My brother is more understanding now, though for some reason he mostly wanted to talk about how many people saw the post. I don't think either of those three still care, really, and I'm fine if they see this. Do better. Anyway, I went to see the PC today, Wednesday here. The shop said it's mostly salvageable. It needs a very, very careful internal clean and a few fans replaced, and some wiring fixed,

but overall the main part survived somehow. Bill told me he'll cover the cost of the repair, no hesitation. When I brought up what my sister said about not being able to pay even $200, he said she's lying. He also said he's not sure Max actually did all the damage. He thinks the door was left open on purpose, or that my sister might have even done some of it herself. Based on the height of the tower and where the crackers ended up, it didn't quite add up to a toddler acting alone. Apparently, she's been telling him I have a gambling addiction, I did get a bit hooked on Ginchen like four years ago, I guess? And that maybe this whole thing will wake me up, which is, new.

She used to be supportive or at least indifferent. No idea where that switch came from. So yeah, that's where we're at. My PC is being cleaned up and fixed, and Bill is covering the cost. Sister still has me blocked and won't talk to me. Bill tempted to start something with her TVH, especially if she actually did all of this on purpose, still not ruling out small claims court depending on how things go.

Thanks again to everyone who responded to the original post. Seeing how many people understood what happened really helped me hold the line with my family when I felt like I was losing my mind. One thing I've been turning over in my head lately is what if my sister did do something to my setup on purpose? I don't want to believe that, it feels like a stretch, but the more I think about it, the less so, I guess.

But then I remember how she acted when I asked, her to keep Max out of the office. The eye roll and the he's just curious comments like she didn't take any of it seriously. And now hearing from my bill that she's been saying I have a crippling gambling slash gaming slash whatever addiction and needed to grow up. It's just weird. She used to be cool about it. Never super into games herself, but she got that it was important to me. If something changed, I don't know when or why. And if this was some weird way to make a point or or teach me a lesson, that's messed up. You're not our mom.

How about talking first instead of this? I don't want to jump to conclusions, but the more I think about it, the less it makes sense that Max could have done all of that alone. It's sick if she blamed her own son for it. So yeah. Not accusing anyone outright, but that thought is there now.

And if you're my sister reading this? Which I'm guessing you are, because I bet you'd love to look at the comments that are on your side a lot. Smiles, I don't know why you blocked me. I don't know what shifted in your head about all this. But if you actually had anything to do with damaging my setup, whether it was on purpose or just through complete carelessness.

Fuck. You. You know I worked hard for that. You know what that rig meant to me, and you know I would never do something like this to your stuff. And if Max really did all of it on his own. I hope you're paying closer to you. now. Not for my sake, but for his. Read the comments on my first post again, from other

parents and people with younger siblings who clearly know better than you. That's all. Thanks for reading, those who did. Update 2, May 3rd, 2025. A few weeks ago, I made a post, not here, about how my sister's toddler, 3M, almost destroyed my PC setup. Long story short, she and her son were staying with me for one night, he got into my office, and the whole setup got wrecked with juice and cracker bits shoved into the tower. The situation was awful, and when I asked my sister for help covering the damage, she made an excuse and blamed me instead. It became whole family drama.

My sister blocked me and acted like the whole thing was my fault, but her husband, my bill, reached out on his own. He checked the damage himself, helped take the PC in for repairs, and ended up covering the costs because he was genuinely embarrassed by the way she acted. He even started questioning whether their toddler could have done that much damage on his own, especially after the kid couldn't even open the door by himself. My bill thought maybe my sister left it open or did something herself. Within a week of that, my bill confronted her and well, she kicked him out of the house.

Like, full on, told him to get the hell out, packed up his things, dumped them and left them by the curb like he was a stray dog. He told me she screamed that he was betraying her and taking the side of that fucking Reddit bitch, meaning me. She also apparently accused him of conspiring and cheating on her with me to humiliate her publicly, which, what? She hasn't let him see their kids since. No visits. No phone calls. She's gone full black hole mode and is completely unreachable, threatening cops if he goes near.

She's blocked me, my brother, even some extended family. and is only talking to our parents, we're still enabling her, but I think it's only so they can keep Max at arm's length. Meanwhile, I'm hearing rumors she's been telling people I'm unhinged, psychotic, and that I made the whole thing up. She told one of our cousins that I lured her kid into the office like some kind of trap or set up.

I don't know if this is postpartum-related, or if something snapped, or if she's just always been this vindictive and I didn't want to see it. But I'm scared. Scared for her kid. scared for her husband. And yeah, I'm also scared for myself, because if she's willing to ruin her whole marriage

and turn the family against me just to protect a lie. My parents want to keep it under wraps, but I know my bill wants to get her help. I want to get her help too, but I don't know where to start or what to do. What can I start with to possibly push her toward someone who can help her out? Has someone here dealt with a situation like this before? I feel helpless, as I know she is an

adult and has free will, but I fear for her safety and my nephew's safety as well. My bill voiced wanting to divorce her and told my parents he will get his son whether they approve or not. His side of the family is furious with mine and I've no idea where I stand because, yeah, I guess I started this. Is this salvageable? If so, how? What can I do? Who can I contact within the States? Is there anything I can do even? Does anyone know? Story, wife threw away all the videotapes of my late wife's pregnancy that I saved for 16 years to show my daughter on her 18th birthday because she was jealous of a dead woman. I am writing this because I don't know what to do.

I have a daughter with my late wife and her name is Eleanor. Her birthday is coming up in two weeks and she's turning 18. Background, me and my late wife, Chloe has been dating since college. We got older and ended up getting married, and after our wedding, she shared. news to and I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child, we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy. Wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch, or talking to our unborn child through the camera. We made a promise to only show Eleanor the tapes until her 18th birthday. Fast forward two years

after her birth, Chloe passed away due to a drunk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother's house. I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two-year-old daughter by myself. My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back dating, but every time I did I felt like I was betraying her. Years later when Eleanor was 13, I met Wendy. We met at a gathering for my sister's birthday and we instantly hit it off. She didn't mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce. Two years after we got married, now back to the present. Eleanor's 18th birthday is coming up and I kept all the tapes for me to show her.

Mind you, her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanor doesn't remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes, and a week ago I was talking to Wendy about it and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable. Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talk about my late wife. I don't say things like why can't you be like Chloe or Chloe was only supposed to be my first love, but I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of how her mother was like. Wendy has always talked to me about Chloe and how it made her sad that she can never be like her. Chloe was a model then started working on her fashion career, and don't get me wrong, she was a really beautiful woman, while Wendy had two kids in college and not in the best shape due to her words.

I love both women how they are and I've never had a preference, but I feel. feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Chloe. I told Wendy that I love her just the way she was and she broke down crying. The next day after that incident she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it's good that she felt comfortable to share her feelings, and I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her forehead. She asked to see where the tapes were at and I showed her the box of videotapes of my late wife in my closet. Things were going fine until yesterday morning. I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter and when I went to go find them, the box wasn't in my closet.

I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching TV. I asked her about the box and she told me she threw it away with a neutral expression. My heart dropped and I asked her what did she mean, and she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life so she threw them away as a head start. I was fuming with anger because not only she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter big surprise. We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was so she started apologizing. It got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom. It's the morning and I'm writing this in my office going through my computer finding old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to meet her mother and I really thought it would bring her closer to her. I've been ignoring my wife for the past day and she's been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is, but I really just can't look at her right now.

It's getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Chloe died over 10 years ago, but I'm trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them died. I am working on finding these files and I'm starting to think I was overreacting. I don't know what to do and I really need help. Update 1, I didn't expect this to blow up. I came on here to look for general advice and now I have thousands of people taking my in my DMs. I'm going to be answering some questions that I'm getting asked about the most. I was thinking about asking Wendy about the tapes and where she threw them out at, but I saw a comment that told me to don't ask her, because it might give her some time to hide it or lie.

Instead, when I went back home, I checked in the outside trash cans and the kitchen one and I still couldn't find them. Trash day isn't until Thursday, so I was confused. I finally went up to ask her and at first she wasn't going to tell me. I threatened with divorce like one you guys said and she gave in. It turned out she kept the videotapes in her car until Trash Day arrived because she knew I would look through the trash. So now I have the tapes, thank God. Another question asked was did Eleanor know about the tapes? No, I didn't want to ruin the surprise until if I knew that I had a backup.

She didn't know about them now and I'm not planning on to. telling her until her birthday, the only problem is that I'm afraid that Wendy might tell her. One more question is people asking if I'm considering divorce. Wendy never did anything like this before and I don't want to ruin a six-year relationship. But at the same time I really do think she needs some type of help. I'm considering asking her to go to therapy and I'm really considering our relationship. Wendy is really good with my daughter and my daughter loves her and her children like family. I think Wendy is just trying to take Chloe place with being Eleanor's mother.

I really starting to think she has issues. A lot of people also said if I don't divorce her I will betray my daughter. My daughter is my number is one and I think I should find someone better that can respect not only me but my daughter and her mother. Update 2. It's been a month now. Things been definitely, changing. For anyone wondering, Eleanor's birthday went great, especially without Wendy there to ruin it. Basically what happened was Wendy found my post and went crazy about it. She started accusing me of trying to ruin her life over something so little in the way she only found out because her older sister saw the story.

We got into an argument and she tried gaslighting me into being the crazy one and threatened me to leave and take all I own and whatever she said. She then proceeds to go into our room and start tearing things down, trying to look for the tapes again. I pull her wrist, trying to get her to calm down, but she took it as an opportunity to start breaking down crying saying that I hit her, which I back off and just watched her as she tried to throw things at me, and now I reached my breaking point because it's the day of my daughter's birthday and had little time to get to dinner tonight, because we have reservations.

I was already ready and had to pick Eleanor up from a friend house, so I grabbed my keys and left her there, not having time for her to act like a child. And by the way, the tapes were at my mother's house as we were all going to go there after the dinner. The night went great after that and me and Eleanor came home to a messy house with furniture and pictures teared up. It looked like a bunch of three-year-olds went wild in there. Wendy and her children wasn't anywhere to be found and neither was her car. I already assumed it was Wendy who did all of this. Plus I had proof because I keep security cameras in my house. I tell Eleanor about everything that went down before her birthday and she was shocked at least to know the woman she thought was an

Angel was actually be, long story short we call the cops, Wendy gets arrested but gets out after three days. Now I'm almost done with my divorce process. Also, Wendy, if you're reading this, have fun living at your mother's house and having a criminal record, I hope it was worth it. I chose not to include my folks or sibling in my wedding celebration since they consistently placed his health concerns above my special occasions. However, now my sibling has confessed to fabricating it all. Attention. Hey guys, I, 28F, recently got married to Jamie, 29M, without inviting my parents or my brother Neil, 25M. I wasn't going to post about this, but my phone has been blowing up with texts from family members calling me selfish, and I just need some outside perspective

on whether I handled this situation poorly. Some background, I grew up in what appeared to be a normal middle-class family in a suburban neighborhood about an hour outside of Chicago. We lived in a four-bedroom house with a decent backyard, took occasional family vacations to nearby states, and generally seemed like any other family on our block. But things changed dramatically when I was nine years old. When Neil was seven, he was diagnosed with asthma after having trouble breathing during a soccer game. The diagnosis wasn't particularly severe according to his doctor, but from that point forward, everything in our household revolved around him and his health needs. My parents transformed overnight from treating us relatively equally to making

Neil the absolute center of their universe. Throughout my childhood and teen years, my parents consistently missed my achievements and milestones because of Neil's supposed health issues. When I was 12, I performed a piano solo at my school's winter concert. I had practiced for months, perfecting a piece that my teacher said was usually reserved for more advanced students. The morning of the concert, my parents promised they would be there in the front row. By evening, they cancelled last minute because Neil had an asthma flare-up. I found out later from my grandmother that he was playing video games when she called to check on him that night. The flare-up mysteriously resolved once my recital was over.

For my 16th birthday, my grandparents flew in from Florida specifically to celebrate with me. They arrived two days early to help set up a small party at our house. My parents had promised to pick up my cake and decorations from the party store, but on the day of the celebration, they took the car with the cake in it and didn't return until late at night because Neil suddenly needed to go to urgent care. My grandparents tried their best to salvage the party, ordering pizza and making a quick run to the grocery store for a generic cake, but I spent most of the evening worrying about whether my brother was okay. Later I found out he had just had mild seasonal allergies that could have been treated with over-the-counter medication. The custom cake my parents had ordered was mostly eaten by Neil during the hospital visit, only a few slices were left and that two were eaten by my parents. The pattern continued when they missed my high school graduation.

I was valedictorian of my class of 430 students, maintaining a perfect GPA despite working part-time to save money for college. Instead of watching me give my speech, they stayed home because Neil was having a panic attack about his finals, even though his exams weren't scheduled until the following week. My best friend's parents saved a seat for me at their family dinner afterward and gave me a card congratulating me on my achievement. College was another struggle entirely. While my classmates had financial support from their families, I worked two jobs to put myself through school. I waited tables at a diner on weekends and worked as a loud. assistant on weeknights, often studying in the hours between midnight and 4 a.m. before classes started again. I managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA in chemical engineering, but it came at the cost of my sleep,

health, and any semblance of a social life. Meanwhile, my parents had saved a substantial college fund for Neal because of his potential medical expenses, even though his asthma was well controlled by then with a simple inhaler that he rarely needed to use. When I decided to pursue my master's degree, I did so with virtually no family support. I applied for every scholarship and grant available, and still had to take out loans to cover the difference. When I finally earned my degree after two grueling years of advanced study and research, my parents promised they would attend the ceremony.

I was so excited that they would finally see one of my achievements that I reserved seats for them in the front section and made dinner reservations at a nice restaurant afterward. But the morning of, I got a text saying Neil had a migraine and needed their support. That night, he posted pictures on Instagram from a party at his friend's apartment, clearly feeling fine and having fun

while my parents sat beside him monitoring his condition. For years ago, I met Jamie at a professional conference where we were both presenting research. He comes from a big, closed-knit family that shows affection openly and celebrates each other's accomplishments with genuine enthusiasm. For my first birthday after we started dating,

he threw me a surprise party with friends from work and his family members who had already started treating me like one of their own. I actually cried when I walked in because no one had ever made that kind of effort for me before. His family immediately welcomed me, attended my work events, and celebrated my achievements in ways my own family never did. When I received a promotion at work, Jamie's parents sent flowers to my office. When I published my first research paper, his sister framed the first page and gave it to me as a gift. These gestures felt so foreign to me that I almost didn't know how to respond to them at first.

When Jamie proposed last year after three years together, we started planning our wedding. Honestly, I couldn't imagine my parents being there without somehow making it about Neil. I pictured him having an episode during our vows or my mom rushing out during our first dance because Neil texted that he needed something. After discussing it extensively with Jamie over several weeks, we decided not to invite my parents or brother. I didn't make this decision lightly. I spent many nights lying awake wondering if I was being petty or vindictive. But ultimately, I couldn't bear the thought of looking out from the altar to see empty seats where my parents should be, or worse, watching them

leave in the middle of the ceremony because Neil suddenly needed attention. Jamie supported my decision but made it clear he would support me equally if I changed my mind. We decided on a relatively small wedding with about 80 guests, mostly Jamie's family and friends from both our professional and personal lives. I invited my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins but specifically asked them not to mention it to my parents or Neil. Most of them understood, having witnessed the dynamic over the years. The wedding was beautiful and stress-free, exactly what I had hoped for. Jamie's family stepped up in every way, his dad gave me away, his mom helped me get ready that morning, and his sisters were my bridesmaids.

My grandparents danced with me and told me how proud they were. For once, I had a special day that wasn't overshadowed by someone else's needs. My parents found out about the wedding through social media when my cousin posted some photos from the reception. Within hours, my phone was flooded with angry text messages and voicemails. My mother called me ungrateful and said, You've always resented your brother for things he can't control. My father accused me of deliberately humiliating them in front of extended family.

They've been telling everyone who will listen that I've always been an attention-seeking drama queen and that I'm punishing them for being good parents to a sick child. I didn't want to hurt my parents, but I also didn't want my wedding day ruined by the same dynamic that's affected every other important event in my life. Jamie thinks I did the right thing, but some family members are saying I should have given them a chance to be there for me on such an important day. I've been second-guessing myself since the wedding, wondering if I made the right choice or if I've irreparably damaged my relationship with my parents. Part of me feels guilty, but another part feels justified given their history of putting meals often questionable needs above everything else in my life.

Ida. Update 1. I wasn't expecting this much response to my post. I've been reading through everything and trying to process it all. Several people mentioned something called medical abuse by proxy regarding Neil's situation. which I've been reading about, and it's giving me a lot to think about. I never considered that what was happening in our family might have a name or be a recognized pattern. Things have escalated since my original post. My parents are now claiming that Neil was hospitalized due to stress over being excluded from the wedding.

According to them, he had such severe anxiety upon learning he wasn't invited that he experienced difficulty breathing and had to be taken to the emergency room. However, my cousin Kay saw him at a baseball game that same day, laughing and having drinks with friends in the stands. I didn't know this until Kay mentioned it to me during a phone call to discuss the family fallout from the wedding. Jamie's mother, who has been a pediatric nurse for over 30 years at a children's hospital specializing in respiratory conditions, tried to mediate the situation. She called my mom hoping to find some common ground and perhaps arrange a post-wedding celebration that could include my parents and kneel. During their conversation, she gently suggested that Neil's supposed medical issues didn't seem to match his active lifestyle. He goes hiking on weekends, plays in two recreational sports leagues, stays out late drinking with friends, and recently ran a 10K according to his social media. My mom immediately hung up on her and then called Jamie's sister to complain about his mother's interference in family matters.

This interaction made me remember something from high school that I had almost forgotten. When I was 17, I had saved up for months for my part-time job to buy a dress for homecoming. It was more money than I had ever spent on clothing, but I was nominated for homecoming chord and one of the looks special. The night of the dance, as I was getting ready, Neil suddenly had severe abdominal pain. My parents rushed him to the ER, leaving me behind with instructions to stay ready in case they came back in time. I waited in my dress for hours, repeatedly checking my phone.

My date eventually gave up and went to the dance without me. I missed the homecoming court ceremony entirely. The diagnosis? Gas. Not appendicitis, not a bowel obstruction. Just gas that could have been treated with over-the-counter medication. By the time they got home, it was too late for me to go, and my dress stayed in the closet with the tag still on.

I never wore it. My aunt, my mother's older sister, initially called me to say I was humiliating the family by not inviting my parents to the wedding. But after we talked for a while about specific incidents over the years, she admitted, your mom has always made everything about Neil. She recalled a family reunion three years ago where I just received a major promotion at work that included leading a new research team. When I tried to share the news during dinner, my mom dismissed it as no big deal and immediately

changed the subject to how Neil had gotten a part-time job at a local grocery store. My aunt said she had noticed the pattern for years but never felt it was her place to say anything. After the wedding, Jamie's family organized a small get-together at their house for family members who couldn't make it to the ceremony. During dinner, my father-in-law stood up and gave a toast. He talked about how proud they were to have me in their family and listed specific accomplishments of mine that he admired, including my academic achievements and professional success. I almost couldn't handle it because I wasn't used to being recognized that way. It felt alien to have someone acknowledge my hard work instead of minimizing it or changing the subject. I'm still processing all of this and trying to figure out what kind of relationship, if any,

I want to have with my parents moving forward. Jamie has been incredibly supportive, reminding me that prioritizing our happiness on our wedding day wasn't selfish, especially given the history of my parents' behavior. His family has continued to stand by me, even as some of my own relatives have insisted I should apologize for excluding my immediate family from the wedding. For now, I've muted my parents' messages and am taking some time to think about everything. The past few weeks have been emotionally exhausting, and I need space to sort through my feelings without the constant barrage of accusations and guilt trips. Update 2 It's been about a month since my last update, and quite a bit has happened.

I met with my cousin Kay for coffee yesterday. She's been one of the few family members who has consistently supported my decision about the wedding, and during our conversation, she revealed something I never knew. Years ago, Neil had confided in her that he often faked or exaggerated his symptoms to get attention. According to Kay, when they were teenagers at a family gathering, Neil had gotten drunk and admitted that he deliberately caused problems on days when I had important events because he was jealous of any attention I might receive. He told her that our parents were so quick to believe anything was wrong with him

that it became almost a game to see what he could get away with. Kay said she hadn't told me this before because she didn't want to come between siblings, but after seeing how the wedding situation unfolded, she felt I deserved to know. What was even more shocking was what Kay showed me next. She had text messages from my mother from the week before our wedding. In these messages, my mom was planning to create some kind of distraction at the wedding. This was before they even knew they weren't invited. She wrote that she was concerned about Neil needing extra support on a day when I would be getting attention.

She mentioned possibly having him feel unwell during the ceremony so they could remind everyone of what really matters. Reading those messages felt like a punch to the stomach. They confirmed everything I had suspected but never wanted to believe. After seeing these texts, Kay shared them with some family members who had criticized my decision. Many of them have since apologized to me, including my uncle who admitted he'd noticed the differential treatment over the years but never felt it was his place to intervene. Kay and I spent hours talking about other incidents from our childhood that now make more sense with this new context.

There was the time Neil mysteriously sprained his ankle at a family picnic the same day I was supposed to perform a choir solo at a community event. Or when I received a scholarship to attend a prestigious summer science program at a university three hours away, but couldn't go because Neil had a sudden flare-up that required my parents' constant attention throughout the summer. When I suggested they could drop me off and I would take the bus home at the end of the program, they insisted that was irresponsible and that family needs to stick together during health crises. I've tried reaching out to Neil directly, but he isn't responding to my messages. Kay thinks he might be feeling guilty and defensive after she confronted him about the texts.

She told him she was disappointed that he would participate in something that would ruin my wedding day, and he apparently became angry and accused her of taking my side against family. Jamie continues to be my rock through all of this, reminding me that none of this is my fault and that I deserve to have a wedding day that was about our love and commitment, not about managing my brother's invented crises. His mother suggested I might benefit from therapy to unpack everything that's how to and I'm considering it. After years of doubting my own perceptions and wondering if I was the problem, it's overwhelming to have confirmation that I wasn't imagining things. My father left me a

voicemail yesterday accusing me of tearing the family apart and making Neal's health worse with my selfish behavior. He said that a real daughter would apologize and make amends immediately. I haven't responded. Kay shared that she's had to distance herself from certain toxic family members to protect her mental health, and that sometimes that's the healthiest choice, even if it's painful in the short term. For now, I'm focusing on adjusting to married life with Jamie and finding joy in building our life together. It's strange to realize that what I thought was normal family dynamics growing up was actually a form of neglect and manipulation. I'm trying to learn how to accept appreciation and recognition without feeling guilty or waiting for it to be undermined.

Update 3, it's been two months since my last update, and there have been some significant developments that I wanted to share. Most surprisingly, I received a long email from Neil yesterday. I wasn't expecting to hear from him directly, especially after he ignored my previous attempts to reach out. His message completely caught me off guard. In his email, Neil apologized for years of manipulation and actually defended my decision not to invite our parents to the wedding. He admitted that he had been part of a toxic family dynamic that consistently undermined my achievements and centered his supposed medical needs above everything else. Neil explained that he's been in therapy, initially for anxiety and depression, but the

process has led him to confront the unhealthy patterns in our family. He said that as a child, he noticed being sick was the only time our parents showed real emotion or concern. What started as minor exaggerations about his asthma symptoms gradually evolved into a pattern of manipulation that became difficult to break, even as he got older and understood what he was doing. According to Neil, our parents rewarded his illnesses with attention, special treats, and exemptions from responsibilities. Over time, he learned that the worse his symptoms appeared, the more focused they became on him.

He admitted that by high school, faking illness had become almost automatic whenever he felt insecure or noticed I might be receiving positive attention. When Kay showed him our mother's texts about planning a crisis for the wedding, Neil said he felt physically ill. He wrote that it was one thing to realize his own participation in the dysfunction as a child and teenager, but seeing our mother actively plotting to disrupt my wedding day made him recognize how deeply entrenched the problem was. He acknowledged that our parents created an environment where my milestones were never valued and expressed hope that we could build a real sibling relationship without our parents' dysfunction between us. He mentioned specific incidents he regretted, including the homecoming dance night and the science competition where he pretended to be sick knowing how important those events were to me. What struck me most was his recognition that our parents' actions hurt both of us in different ways, him by making him dependent on appearing sick for attention, and me by consistently neglecting my achievements.

He wrote that he's been working with his therapist to establish healthier relationships and develop a sense of self-worth that isn't tied to illness or crisis. Unfortunately, when our parents discovered Neil had apologized to me, apparently he left his email account open on a shared computer during a visit home. They threatened to cut off his financial support if he sided with me. Despite graduating from college three years ago with a business degree, Neil is still financially dependent on them. He lives in an apartment they pay for and drives a car they purchased, working only part-time at a friend's startup that hasn't become profitable yet.

Despite their threats, Neil seems determined to reduce. their manipulation this time. He said he's looking for a full-time job and planning to move to a cheaper apartment that he can afford on his own. He asked if we could meet for coffee sometime to talk more about everything, which I'm considering. I've shared Neil's email with Jamie, who is supportive but also protective. He suggested meeting Neil in a public place initially and taking things slowly as we figure out what kind of relationship might be possible moving forward. In other news, Jamie and I are moving to Boston next month for his job at a research institution there, which feels like perfect timing for a fresh start away from all this family

dysfunction. I've accepted a position at a biotech firm that aligns perfectly with my research background. Neil has expressed interest in visiting us once we're settled. I've declined my parents' recent attempts to contact me, which have alternated between angry accusations and tearful pleas for reconciliation, always centered around their feelings and Neil's supposed health deterioration, never acknowledging their role in creating this situation or how their behavior has affected me over the years. Thank you to everyone who commented and shared similar experiences. It's been eye-opening to realize this wasn't normal family behavior, and that I wasn't wrong to protect my wedding day from it. I'm still processing everything and working on not feeling

guilty for setting boundaries, but I'm in a much better place than I was when I first posted here. Missed out on an opportunity at my familial enterprise in favor of my relative who recently completed university, so I decided to work for a rival company run by my relative and now my entire family has severed ties. Me off Hi, I'm a 30-year-old woman and I recently got cut off by my family for leaving the family business and going against my uncle who is retiring this year. I'm here to ask if I'm in the wrong here. So for context, my dad, he would have been 63 this year. had two younger brothers, Brian and Scott, 59 male and they had all inherited my grandfather's

real estate firm. He had hoped that all three brothers would run the place as co-owners and everything would be fine. But six years after my grandpa retired, my uncle Scott decided to break away from the firm and start his own business. With that, he was cut off from the family as well since nobody liked this move of competing with his own brothers in the business. So for the past 16 years, nobody in the family has spoken to him, and neither do they acknowledge his existence, and they pretend like he was never a part of the family at all. I had learned to do the same as well. Anyway, my dad passed away three years ago from double kidney failure. His health had already not been doing well before it happened, and he had been training me to take over just in case he

ended up Bedridden. Obviously, nobody had expected him to pass away, but it was a good thing that I was prepared to step into his shoes and take over the duties that he had in the company. I hadn't just been doing his work in helping my uncle Brian run the company for the past three years, but actually, ever since I graduated from business school, I had been working with my father and my uncle to learn the ropes because eventually I hope to become a partner in the firm. So it's been almost nine years since I had been working here, and I had obviously expected to be made partner in the firm eventually since that's what my dad had wanted. But around 10 days ago, I found out that my uncle had decided to make his son a partner and I would still be stuck in the role of CFO.

When my father was alive, he was a CEO and my uncle was the CFO. After his passing, my uncle stepped into the role of the CEO and I was promoted to CFO. So now if somebody was supposed to take my uncle's place because he is retiring in a couple of years, shouldn't it be me? My cousin Dean has never even been in the picture, so I was really blindsided by this move. He's 23 years old and just graduated a year ago. He has a degree in economics, but no practical or hands-on knowledge. And more than anything, he's just much too young to be a partner in the firm. He has not paid his dues, and I know for a fact that he does not deserve it more than I do.

So naturally, I was very upset when I found out about this. I didn't even find out from my uncle directly. It was my mother who said that she just heard from her sister and law, Dean's mother, that I had passed up the opportunity to be a partner in the firm, and so my uncle was offering it to Dean instead. When my mother told me about it, I instantly called my uncle up because we had had no such discussion, and I thought that this was a joke. But when we spoke on the phone, he told me that he seriously was considering making Dean the CEO of the company and the partner in the firm because he was going to announce his retirement in a couple of months.

I was shocked and I reminded him that Dean had not worked a day in his life so far. He had spent the entirety of the last year figuring himself out and exploring, so he was pretty inexperienced and was definitely not up to the job. And then my uncle told me that apparently this is where I factor in, because since I'll be mentoring him, he won't have anything to worry about. So it's not like I'm not needed in the company anymore, he still needs me to handle everything while Dean gets used to it, and I'm still going to be the CFO of the company. But I was not fine with that. I told him that I had worked really hard over the last nine years and I wanted the respect that I was owed. Dean definitely did not deserve this position, and I made it very clear that I was not happy with this decision. So if he decided to make Dean a partner in the firm and the CEO, then I would be stepping down for my role and leaving the company as well.

My uncle tried to tell me that I was overreacting, that he was just doing this so as to secure the future for Dean because he was not going to settle for anything less than the role of CEO. He did not want to break away from the company like my uncle Scott had, so this was his only option, and he expected me to understand. He even tried to pacify me by saying that he would only be the nominal head of the company, but I would really be running the show, and he knew that even Dean would respect me. I tried to bargain with him. I told him that I would be willing to settle for my role as CFO, but I wanted him to make me a partner with the company, and he said that he didn't know if he would be able to do that since he had to talk to Dean about it first. But I didn't care. I had put in the work, and I wanted to be the CEO and a partner, or at least even just a partner. So he could either do that, or I would be leaving.

It was an ultimatum. When my uncle and I ended up fighting over this, eventually he told me that we were living in a free country, so I could do whatever I wanted, but his mind had already been made. He had also discussed this with the members of the board, and within a couple of days, he would be making his announcement as well. His mind had been made up, and I could either deal with it or I could just leave like I had said that I would.

It was a horrible day for me to find out where exactly I stood with my uncle because I always thought that we had a good relationship, but clearly when it comes to our relationship in a professional capacity, I had overestimated how close we were. It's not surprising either. Dean has always been pretty spoiled,

and I don't find it surprising that my uncle has chosen him over me. This is his flesh and blood, so of course I could never compete. Anyway, I was very upset about the way things turned out, and my mother had suggested that I even lawyer up and go after them legally, but I didn't want to do that. Instead, I had a better plan in mind that would really piss them off. I guess most of you would have been able to figure out what I did after that, but for the ones that don't know yet, I wrote an email to my Uncle Scott that day itself.

I told him everything that had happened in brief, and I said that I would be willing to work for him now if he would have me. I did not feel like sitting around and moping about what I had lost. The only thing on my mind was getting back at my uncle right now, so I didn't think twice before reaching out to my uncle Scott. And within 24 hours, I had a response from him. He said that he was ready to offer me the position of CFO and that he would be willing to promote me to CEO in a couple of years after he retired.

He had agreed to my terms of making me a partner in the firm since I was willing to tell him everything that I knew about my company to help him do better. So a couple of days back, we finally met in person, and it was quite a fun meeting. I had only had to cut him out of my life because my parents and the rest of my family had demanded that I do so, but other than that, I have never really had a bad relationship with my uncle Scott. In fact, he had always been the fun uncle, and until the age of 15, he and I were pretty close, but then the feud happened and he was ostracized, and I never got to speak to him again until now. When I was younger, I was never really told exactly what had led to Uncle Scott breaking away from the family,

and even now when I met him, he refused to talk about it, but that was his choice and I needed to respect that. However, he told me that he was surprised that my Uncle Brian had pulled off something like this because when my dad was alive, he wouldn't even dream of trying to do such a thing. Anyway, he was happy about it since it had worked out in his favor, and he said that he would love to have me on board because he'd only ever heard good things about me. Since they were our most direct competitors, they had kept tabs on us and our operations, and he said that he knew that what I had done for the company was pretty big, and he was looking forward to having me on his side this time. He also reassured me that unlike Uncle Brian, he did not have any kids, so I had nothing to worry about on that front either. We finalized everything, and I put in my resignation that day itself. Uncle Brian did not seem to be affected in the slightest by the fact that I was resigning,

and I texted him formally to let him know that I wouldn't be showing up for the next two weeks since he had made it very clear that the company would be just fine without me. He told me that he was cool with it and he already had replacements lined up, so I did not need to worry about my position. And that was it. I did not interact with him after that. However, yesterday Uncle Scott and I finally posted a picture together to celebrate the fact that I was joining him now. I went out for dinner with the team so I could meet a couple of other higher-ups in his company and socialize with them before I started working with them.

And to say that my family is literally crashing and burning right now would be an understatement because ever since I made the post last night, I have been bombarded with text messages, voicemails, and phone calls. I've not answered anybody obviously, but I can tell that people are very very. upset. Uncle Brian is livid and has already branded me a traitor and has told me that he's going to make sure that I suffer the repercussions of this move. He can try his worst. I've also been condemned by a lot of other members of the family, which I think is strange because from the messages that they sent, they seem to already know that I did all this just because I did not get to be a partner in the firm and was passed over in favor of Dean. But if they did not speak up about the unfairness of what was being done to me back then, they have no right to criticize me. now. The only person whose opinion actually matters to me is my mother, and when I spoke to her this morning, she did not seem happy about my decision either. That really shocked me because just a couple of days ago, she had been insisting that I go after my uncle with a lawyer so I can get what is rightfully mine. But now she thinks that I'm going too far. She told me that there is a lot of history with my Uncle Scott that I just don't know, and she doesn't think it's appropriate for me to know either.

That was quite frustrating because if they were not going to tell me why exactly Uncle Scott had been ostracized from the family, I don't think I can make up my mind about whether I can trust him or not. And I am a full-grown woman, so I think I can handle the truth, and they don't need to shy away from me. So far from his behavior, he has been very nice to me, and I don't see any reason to cut him off. But anyway, my mother said that the family was very upset with me, and she herself was also not happy about this, but if I had already made up my mind, there was very little that she could do to change my mind. I tried to talk to her, but she just hung up and said that she needed to process what was going on. So now I have incredibly conflicted feelings about what's going on.

Ida for joining our competitors after my uncle refused to make me a partner in the firm and picked his son over me? Edit, hi, so some people were confused about how I got the job at Uncle Scott's company so quickly, and well, it was actually just pure luck. His CFO was retiring in a couple of months anyway, and he had been looking for someone to take their place. Luckily, I emailed him at the right time, so that's how I landed this opportunity. It's like the stars and planets aligned for me, too, here, I think. Also, some of you wanted to know how things were with my Uncle Scott before he was cut off from the family, and honestly, things were never really that bad.

When I was growing up, my dad, Uncle Brian, and Uncle Scott were always really close from what I had seen, and I had known that they had a really huge fight, and that was why Uncle Scott had decided to leave the company and start his own business. But up until this day, I really don't know what this had been about. Nobody wants to talk about it, and so I can't give you guys that information since I myself don't have it. However, my relationship with him was always good, and I think I mentioned. that in my original post as well.

Even now when I reached out to him by writing that email, his reply was very cordial and warm. I honestly don't know why my family has such a terrible opinion of him. They have called him all sorts of things. They have referred to him as conniving, narcissistic, egoistic, and whatnot, but every time that I have interacted with him, I have never felt that he is any of those things. I'm just very confused about who to believe.

I really don't want to make a mistake again by trusting somebody because I trusted my Uncle Brian, and look where that landed me. I don't want the same thing to happen with Uncle Scott as well, which is why I need to be extra careful about these things. And since my mother is not exactly pleased with me right now, I don't really know who to go to for advice, and I can't talk to my friends about this because it's too personal and complicated. Update 1, Hello. So it's been three days since people found out that I was going to be. going to be working with Uncle Scott, and after the initial backlash, people have just stopped talking to me. I guess this is fair enough now that I'm associated with Uncle Scott, and they're treating me

the same way that they've been treating him. I honestly still have no idea what happened between them all those years ago, but I have picked which side I want to be on, and I can't go back anymore. To be honest, the history of their relationship doesn't even matter to me. It's not like I can just quit and go back to working with Uncle Brian now, and I need a job. I need to sustain myself and the lifestyle that I have gotten used to, and I need a ton of money, obviously. So whatever it is, I'm here now, and I'm going to make the best of my situation. I spoke to Uncle Scott about the way that I was being treated by the family like I was a pariah, and he seemed really sad, but he told me that this is exactly the sort of thing that had happened to him, and with time,

I'm going to get over it as well. Or maybe I'm going to be. Or maybe I'm might even be luckier than him since I am from the younger generation, and they might reach out to me in a while, but until then, I just have to tough it out and deal with it. Once again, I asked him what had happened that led to all of this, but he refused to talk about it. My mother is still not talking to me, which hurts the most, but I have been texting her every day, and I've not received a response so far, and I'm going to be really busy with work in the next couple of days because I'm just starting here, and there is a lot of work that I have to catch up on. Now if she wants to talk to me, then she can text me herself, but other than that, I'm not going to be reaching out to her anymore.

Update 2, hi, so it's been six days since I started working with Uncle Scott, and things have been going pretty well. The paperwork to make me a partner in the company is still being processed, but I trust him implicitly. He has treated me with nothing but warmth and respect so far, and I guess I have to say that everybody in my family was wrong about him. He has been very transparent with me about everything that's going on. He has told me that since, unlike my previous company, they are not a private company, so he's going to have to get the board of directors to approve everything to do with me before I can finalize everything.

But he told me not to worry about it because since he is the owner and CEO, it's just a formality at best, and I have nothing to worry about. since I've already met most people associated with the company, and they all seem to really like me, besides, they know about my previous work, and they know that I am worth it. So just like Uncle Scott told me too, I'm not too worried about this situation, and I'm just going to focus on working. So things on the work front are going pretty well for me, but my personal life is a mess right now, to be honest. My mother and I have not spoken ever since that last conversation, and I can't even count how many days it has been since then, and I've been really lonely.

Nobody else from the family has spoken to me either, and it is tough, but I'm just trying to deal with it. I do still have a few friends from Uncle Brian's company, and they have kept me updated on whatever's going on. Apparently, they have already announced that I have left them, but they did not include the fact that I've left to work with Uncle Scott. Probably because it would not reflect too well on the company that somebody in a position like mine quit to work with their direct competitors. They also made the announcement that Dean would be taking over a CEO in a couple of months after Uncle Brian retired, and he was also going to be a partner in the firm, and they are hosting a work party in his honor in a couple of days. As for the CFO position which had been left when I left, it is being filled by one of the employees who had always had subordination

problems with me. They probably did that on purpose just to piss me off. It just made me feel sad for them, though. If that employee had problems with me, I'm pretty sure she's going to have problems with them in the future as well, but that's their issue to deal with now. Anyway, I spoke to my friends in the company, and I told them that they were free to join me with Uncle Scott now since we could offer them better salaries. Ultimately, it's up to them, but I can tell that some of them really want to work with me because they're not too confident about the changes taking place in the company, and they think it would be better for them to quit while they are ahead. So I've made the offer, let's see who switches. Update 3, hey, so it's been close to a month since I started

working with Uncle Scott, and things have been great. I am now officially the CFO and also a partner in the firm. I'm pretty happy about it, and even though my mother is still not speaking to me, I think I've moved on. There's also another piece of good news that some of my friends from my previous company have quit their jobs and have applied here so they can work with me, and Uncle Scott is pretty pleased with it. Uncle Brian, however, has found this move even more aggravating, and a couple of days ago, after almost four employees quit so that they could join us, he showed up at my house with Dean. I had just come back home when they started ringing the doorbell, and when I saw that it was them,

I spoke to them through the intercom. I told them to clear out because I did not want to have any conversation with them about anything. I knew that they were here to discuss the fact that I had spoken to a couple of employees and they had been influenced to join me, but I told them that I had knew. neither forced nor coerced anybody to do this. They had made this move of their own accord, and I knew that they wanted an excuse to blame me, but even they knew that this is not my fault. But Uncle Brian was out of control, and he started screaming at me from outside the door,

saying that I was poaching employees from them and it was just not fair and that he would take legal action against me for influencing his employees. I'm pretty sure that that's not grounds for a lawsuit, but I just let him scream himself horse because I knew that there was no point in saying anything to him while he was screaming so loudly that he wouldn't even be able to hear me. When he finally seemed to run out of steam, I told him that I wanted him to clear out because otherwise they would be forcing my hand to call the cops, and already so many people were leaving the company. I'm pretty sure they did not want more people to leave citing the fact that they seemed to be mentally unstable. When I said that,

Dean piped up all of a sudden and said that this was no way to behave with somebody who had been there for me for so long after my father had passed away. He called me insensitive and selfish, saying that I had no respect for anything that his father had done for my family. I found that whole bit very pompous and ridiculous. I told him that I respected Uncle Brian just as much as he respected me. I also reminded him that my father had also worked very hard to bring this company to where it is now, and after his passing, I had also put in a lot of work. The only person who had never done anything was Dean, so he had no right to be here speaking up on this. At least Uncle Brian was worthy of being where he is right now, but he just got his position

as a form of charity since Uncle Brian did not want him to leave the company and work anywhere else since it was a family business. Then I continued and told him exactly what Uncle Brian had said when he told me that he was offering the position of CEO to Dean since he had asked for it and was not going to settle for anything less. In my original post, you guys might remember that I mentioned that my uncle had told me that the only reason he was offering this position to Dean and not me was because his son wanted it, and even though he knew that I deserved it more, he wanted to placate his son. He also said that he would only be the nominal head, but I would actually be running the show, and I remembered it clear as day, and I mentioned it to Dean so he knew

exactly where he stood with his father. And then there was silence. I heard them arguing softly, and then I heard footsteps of them walking away and pulling out of the driveway. So my job was done. Now the two of them could duke it out, but at least they would leave me alone. The next day I woke up to find out that both of them had blocked me, and I was very pleased. Anyway, life is getting better now. I know that whatever's going on right now would have made my dad very upset, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that none of this was my fault.

Uncle Brian got greedy and kicked me out, so if there is anybody to blame for the situation, it's him. I'm very clear about that now so that nobody else can ever try to guilt-trip me again into doubting myself. The only person I'm still holding out hope on is my mother. I really do wish that she comes around eventually because she and I have always had a great relationship, and especially after my father passed away, we had started bonding even more. I definitely miss her every single day, and I keep thinking that maybe she will text me eventually, but so far I have had no such luck. At least she hasn't blocked me yet, so maybe she's keeping the door open. I might try to reach out to her if I start missing her too much, but for now, I'm still trying

to figure out what to do. Update 4, hey guys, it has been close to six months since my last update, and since then many things have changed. For starters, Uncle Brian has officially retired and Dean has taken over the company. So far, he's just maintaining the status quo and not doing anything different. Maybe things might work out for them after all, but it hardly matters to me. Since then, a lot of employees that used to work there have switched over to us, and I'm very happy about it since I get to see a lot of old faces in my new company. My mother and I have still not spoken to each other, but I finally might have a reason for that now. A couple of weeks ago, I was having dinner and drinks with Uncle Scott and his wife. After a while, my aunt left the

room to get some rest, and while talking, I finally asked him. Since now I was pretty grown up and we were working together, I felt like I really had to know what had happened between him and the family that had led to him getting cut off. And he finally told me that years ago, my mother had tried to start an affair with him. On the day of Thanksgiving dinner that was being hosted in our house, she asked him to help her out in the kitchen, and he followed her without having any idea about what was going to happen. But once they were alone in the kitchen, she told him that she told him that she wanted to take things beyond with him, and even though she was married to my dad, her eyes had always been on him. He tried to get away from her, and just in a nick of time,

my dad entered the kitchen and caught the two of them standing really close, and my mom freaked out and started accusing him of trying to start something with her. I don't remember this because Dean and I were in our rooms, but my dad had lost his temper and kicked him out of the house that day. Later on that day, they had told me that Uncle Scott had to leave because he had some emergency at work. However, after that day, my mom came up with a bunch of other lies to cover up for this incident so that nobody would believe him, and even told Uncle Brian and my father that he had been planning to steal money from the company as well and start something of his own. My dad and Uncle Brian had confronted him about this later and had told him that they were

going to mess him up real good if he did not step aside on his own. So he decided to leave the company and started his own business, and since then he has had nothing to do with his family. After I found out about all of this, I decided it would be best for me to follow in his footsteps and have nothing to do with my family either. It was really saddening to find out about my mother, but it is what it is. I have accepted the facts, and this is my life now. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse accused me of being self-centered and careless with money, handed me legal separation

documents on our special day, relocated to a new partner's residence, and then returned begging for reconciliation upon discovering my increased earnings. Money than I'd ever earned. So here's the situation and I'm going to try to lay it out as clearly as I can even though nothing about this feels clear to me right now. My wife Sarah and I have been married for eight years and our anniversary was last month and instead of getting me a watch or cologne or literally anything normal. She handed me an envelope over dinner at this fancy restaurant I thought we were going to celebrate

at and when I opened it there were divorce papers inside and she just said. sat there watching me read through them like she was waiting for me to thank her or something. I keep replaying that moment in my head and the way she looked so calm and collected while I felt like the floor was falling out from under me and I still can't understand how someone does that to a person they supposedly love. The waiter came by to ask if we want a dessert right after I finished reading and I just stared at him because what do you even say in that situation and Sarah ordered to Ramisu like nothing happened and ate the whole thing while I sat there trying to figure out what I'd done wrong.

But let me back up because the real story starts about six months ago when the company I worked for got bought out by this massive corporation and they gave all the middle management people like me an ultimatum and it wasn't really an ultimatum at all because they made it clear what they wanted. They said we could either take a 20% pay cut and stay on with reduced responsibilities or we could take a severance package and leave and the way they presented it made it obvious they wanted most of us gone anyway. I've been with that company for 12 years and worked my way up from basically nothing and I loved my job and the people I worked with but 20% is a lot of money and we'd have to make some changes to our lifestyle but it wasn't like we'd be homeless or anything. Sarah makes decent money too as a dental hygienist and we don't have kids yet so I thought we could manage it and maybe it would even be good for us to live a little simpler and not worry so much about keeping up with everyone else. When I told Sarah about the situation I expected her to be supportive or at least understanding because that's what married couples do right and they work through challenges together but she immediately started talking about how this would affect our five-year plan and our savings goals and what would people think if we had to downsize the house. Or get rid of one of the cars. She kept saying things like you need to think about our future and this isn't just about you anymore and I started getting frustrated because I was thinking about our future and I thought staying at a job I liked even with less money was better than starting over somewhere else. The conversation got heated and she said I was being selfish and not considering her feelings and I said she was being shallow and only caring about money and we both said things we probably shouldn't have said but at the time I thought it was just a normal fight that couples have when they're stressed about big decisions.

She stormed off to her sister's house and didn't come home for two days and when she did come back she was cold and distant, but I figured she needed time to process and would come around once she saw that we could make it work. So I decided to stay at the company and take the pay cut and I thought once Sarah saw that we weren't going to starve or lose the house, she'd realize I made the right choice, but instead she got more and more resentful and started making comments about how I gave up too easily and how a real man would have found a way to keep his full salary. She'd compare me to her friend's husbands who were getting promotions and raises and she'd leave articles about career advancement lying around the house where I'd see them and it felt like she was trying to make me feel like a failure. The worst part was how she started treating me like I was some kind of burden or charity case and she'd make a big show of paying for dinner when we went out or she'd mention in front of other people that she was the breadwinner now even though I was still making more money than her just not as much as before. It felt like she was punishing me for making a choice that affected both of us and I started to wonder if she'd ever really supported my career or if she just liked the money it brought in. But here's where it gets really messed up and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this part because it shows how calculating she was being the whole time. About three months after I took the pay cut I started getting restless and thinking about maybe starting my own consulting business because I had all this experience and knowledge from my old job and I knew there were smaller companies that needed it. help with the kind of stuff I used to do.

I mentioned it to Sarah and she was completely dismissive and said it was too risky and we couldn't afford for me to be unemployed while I tried to build a client base and she made it sound like I was being irresponsible and dreaming about something that would never work. So I didn't pursue it right away but the idea kept nagging at me and I started doing some research on the side and reaching out to former colleagues and clients just to see what kind of interest there might be and the response was actually really encouraging. people remembered my work and several of them said they'd been frustrated with how things had changed since the buyout and would be interested in working with me independently and that

gave me the confidence to start putting together a real business plan. I didn't tell Sarah about any of this because I knew she'd just shoot it down again and I wanted to have something concrete to show her before I brought it up and looking back I realized that was probably a mistake but at the time I thought I was being smart and practical. I spent about two months quietly laying the groundwork and lining up a tautic. potential clients and figuring out the legal and financial stuff and when I finally had three solid contracts in hand I decided it was time to make the jump and quit my job. The day I gave my notice I came home so excited to tell Sarah the news and show her the

contracts and explain how much money I could potentially make if everything went according to plan but instead of being happy or proud she completely lost it and started screaming at me about how I'd made this huge decision without consulting her and how I was. gambling with our future and how she couldn't trust me anymore. She said I was being reckless and selfish and that she felt like she didn't even know who I was and I tried to explain that I'd done all this research and planning, but she wouldn't listen and just kept yelling about how I'd betrayed her trust. That fight was worse than any we'd ever had and it went on for hours with both of us saying

horrible things and at one point she said she wished she'd never married me and that she deserved better than someone who couldn't provide stability and I said maybe she should find someone else then if that's how she really felt and she said maybe she would and then she grabbed her car keys and left and didn't come back until the next morning after that things between us were basically frozen and we were living like roommates who couldn't stand each other and barely spoke except when we had to coordinate schedules or pay bills and the whole house felt toxic and hostile and I started spending more and more time at Starbucks or other coffee shops just to get away from the tension my business was actually doing really

well and within the first month I'd made almost as much as I would have at my old job even with the pay cut and by the second month I was making more than my original salary but Sarah didn't seem to care or even notice. Because she was so focused on being angry at me. I kept thinking things would get better once she saw that the business was successful and we were financially stable again but she never acknowledged it and if anything she seemed even more distant and started working late more often and going out with friends without inviting me and I started to. Suspect that something else was going on but I didn't want to be paranoid or accusatory

so I tried to give her space and hoped we could work through it. Now here's where I need to explain what happened on our anniversary because it's important to understand just how cruel this whole thing was and I'm getting angry again just thinking about it but I need to get this out. Sarah suggested we go to this expensive restaurant that we'd been to for our first anniversary and I thought maybe she was finally ready to talk and work on our marriage and I was actually hopeful that we could start over and put all the fighting behind us. She dressed up nice and did her hair and makeup and seemed almost cheerful for the first time in months and I started to think

that maybe she'd realized how successful the business was becoming and was ready to admit that I'd made the right choice after all. We ordered wine and appetizers and were actually having a decent conversation about normal stuff like work and her family and I was starting to relax and remember why I fell in love with her in the first place. Then after the main course arrived she reached. into her purse and pulled out this Manila envelope and set it on the table between us and said she had an anniversary gift for me and I thought it might be tickets to something or maybe a nice card or photo of us from when we were happy and I was actually touched that she'd got me something after.

Months of barely acknowledging my existence. But when I opened the envelope and saw the divorce papers with my name already filled and I felt like dying inside and I looked up at her and she was just sitting there with this strange smile like she'd been waiting for this moment and was enjoying watching me realize that. what was happening. I asked her what this was supposed to mean and she said she thought it would be easier this way instead of having a big dramatic fight and that she'd already talked to a lawyer and figured out how to divide everything up fairly. I couldn't believe what I was hearing and I asked her how long she'd been planning this and she said she'd started thinking about it seriously when I

took the pay cut but it made up her mind when I quit my job without telling her and I said but the business is doing well now we're making more money than before and she just shrugged and said it. It wasn't about the money anymore. It was about trust and compatibility and she didn't think we wanted the same things in life. The whole conversation was so surreal and cold and I kept waiting for her to say she was joking or that this was some kind of test, but she just kept eating her salmon and explaining the logistics of the divorce like she was discussing weekend plans and I finally got so upset that I raised my voice and asked her how she could do this to me on our. Anniversary and she said she thought it would be poetic justice since this was where our marriage. really began and now it was where it would end.

After the waiter thing happened that I told at the beginning I left money on the table and walked out and sat in my car for probably an hour or two trying to process what had just happened and when I got home Sarah was already there packing a suitcase and she said she was going to stay with her sister while we figured out the next steps and that. Her lawyer would be in touch with me about the paperwork. She was so calm about it like she'd rehearsed the whole thing and I realized that she probably had been planning this for months and I'd been completely. completely oblivious. But way to get so much worse and this is the part that really shows what

kind of person she is and why I'm questioning everything I thought I knew about our marriage. About a week after she moved out my business landed this huge contract with a regional company that was going to triple my monthly income and suddenly I was making more money than I'd ever made in my life and I told Sarah like an idiot. So I called her and told her about the contract and how much money it was worth and instead of congratulating me she got really quiet and then asked if we could meet for coffee to talk and I said sure. We met near her sister's house and she started the conversation by saying she'd been doing a lot of thinking and maybe she'd been too hasty with the divorce papers and that she'd been stressed and emotional and hadn't been

thinking clearly about what was best for both of us. She said she missed me and missed our life together and wanted to know if there was a way we could work things out and go back to how things used to be. At first I was relieved because I still loved her despite everything that had happened and I wanted to believe that she'd realized she'd made a mistake and that we could fix our marriage and be happy again, but something about the timing fell off and I started asking her questions about when exactly she'd started having these second thoughts and whether it had anything to do with my business success. She got defensive and said it wasn't about money. It was about realizing how much she valued our relationship and how she'd been letting

her fears about financial security cloud her judgment about what was really important, but I could tell she was being dishonest and I pressed her for more. Details about what had changed her mind so suddenly. That's when she slipped up and broke down and admitted that she'd been seeing someone else for the past two months and that she thought she was ready to move on with him but now she was confused and didn't know what she wanted and I felt like the ground was falling out from under me again. Because this meant she'd been cheating on me while we were still married and living in the same house. I asked her who it was and she said it was this guy Derek who works at the

dental practice with her and that it had started as just talking about her marriage problems but had developed into something more and they'd been going out and spending. Time together but she swore they hadn't slept together yet though I don't know if I believe that and it doesn't really matter anyway because the emotional cheating is just as bad. She kept saying it wasn't serious with Derek and that she'd only gotten involved with him because she was lonely and angry with me and that now she realized she'd made a mistake and wanted to try again with our marriage, but I was so angry and hurt that I could barely think straight and I told her that she couldn't just decide to come back now that.

I was making good money again after she'd already checked out of our marriage and started seeing someone else. The conversation went back and forth for like two hours with her crying and begging me to give her another chance and me trying to process the fact that she'd been lying to me for months and had probably only filed for divorce because she thought she had Derek as a backup plan and now that I was successful again she was having second thoughts about which option would be better for her. I finally told her that I needed time to think and that I couldn't make any decisions while I was this upset and angry and she said she understood but that she hoped I would consider counseling or trying to work things out because she still loved me and had just

gotten scared and made some bad choices but that we could get past this if we both. Really wanted to. That was three weeks ago and since then she's been calling and texting constantly asking me to meet with her again or go to couples therapy or just talk about what we both want and I've been avoiding her because I'm still trying to figure out what I think and feel about everything that's happened and whether there's any way to. Salvage this mess. The thing that really gets to me is how calculated and manipulative the whole thing seems when I look back at the timeline and I keep wondering if she ever really loved me or if she just loved the lifestyle and security I provided and was willing to trade up

when she thought she found something better but now wants to hedge her. Bet, since my business is doing so well My friends are split on what they think I should do And some of them say that marriage is hard and people make mistakes And if she's genuinely sorry and willing to work on things Then maybe we can get past this but others say that what she did was unforgivable And that I should just move on and find someone Who won't abandon me the minute things get tough financially

My sister thinks Sarah is a gold digger who showed her true colors when she thought I wasn't going to be successful anymore and that I'd be crazy to take her back, but my mom thinks I should at least try counseling because eight years of marriage is worth fighting for and people do. Stupid things when they're scared and stressed about money. I don't know what to think anymore and I go back and forth between wanting to give her another chance and feeling like I'd be an idiot to trust someone who could be so cold about something as serious as our marriage and I keep wondering if this is just who she really is and

the person I. Thought I married was just an action. she put on when things were going well. So I guess my question is am I the asshole if I refuse to try to work things out with her after everything that's happened and just go through with the divorce even though she says she wants to stay married now or should I give her another chance and try to rebuild our relationship even though I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust her again. I know this is a mess and I'm probably not thinking clearly about any of it but I need some outside perspective because everyone in my life has opinions and I don't know who to listen to anymore and

I'm tired of going in circles in my own head about what the right thing. To do is. Update 1, a lot of you said I should find out more about this Derek guy and the timeline of when their relationship started and whether Sarah had been planning the divorce longer than she admitted and at first I wasn't sure I wanted to know because sometimes ignorance is easier than dealing with painful truth but I realized I needed to. Understand what I was really dealing with before I could make any decisions about our future. So I decided to do some investigating and it turns out Sarah has been way more dishonest with me than I even suspected and the whole story she told me about getting scared when I took the pay cut and then panicking when I started my business was basically

complete garbage designed to make me feel sorry for her and take her back. Here's what I found out and I'm still processing how stupid I was to believe her lies for so long but I guess when you love someone you want to give them the benefit of the doubt even when they don't deserve it and you make excuses for behavior that should be obvious red. Flags I started by looking at our credit card statements and bank records to see if there were any charges or transactions that might give me clues about what Sarah had been doing and when and right away I found stuff that didn't make sense with what she told me about the timeline of her

relationship with Derek. There were restaurant charges from six months ago to places we'd never been together in movie tickets and even a hotel charge from four months ago, which was right around the time I was first thinking about starting my business and she was supposedly just worried about our finances and hadn't met Derek yet according to her story. Then I looked at her phone records which I could access through our family plan and saw that she'd been texting someone with Derek's number starting almost seven months ago, which was right after I took the pay cut and way before she claimed they'd started talking about marriage problems at work. The frequency of the texts increased over time and

by the time I quit my job to start the business, they were texting hundreds of times per day and having phone calls that lasted for hours and this was all happening while she was giving me the silent treatment and acting like I'd ruined our marriage by being irresponsible with money. But here's the part that really made me sick to my stomach and showed me just how manipulative she's been this whole time and I can't believe I didn't see it sooner, but I guess I was so focused on trying to save our marriage that I wasn't paying attention to the signs that were right in front of me. I also found emails in my home computer with a random Gmail saved passwords in my Chrome browser that she might have forgotten to delete. It was between Sarah and a divorce lawyer dating

back five months ago, which means she was already consulting about ending our marriage before I even mentioned starting my own business and definitely before any of the big fights we had about my career decisions and financial planning. The emails show that she was asking about how to protect her assets and what kind of settlement she could expect and whether my reduced income would affect spousal support calculations and it's clear that she was planning this divorce long before she claimed she started having doubts about our relationship. There's even an email where she asks the lawyer about the best timing for filing papers and whether it would be better to wait until after our anniversary or before and the lawyer

suggests that timing doesn't matter legally but that she should consider the emotional impact on both parties and Sarah responds that she wants to make sure I understand. How serious she is about ending the marriage. Reading those emails felt like being stabbed in the chest because it showed that the anniversary dinner wasn't some spur of the moment decision or even a response to stress about money but was actually a plan move designed to hurt me as much as possible and make sure I knew that she was done with our marriage. But wait it gets even worse because I also found evidence that she'd been planning to move

in with Derek for months and had even looked at apartments with him and Derek had put down a deposit on a place before she ever served me with divorce papers and told me she was staying with her sister. I drove by the address from the lease agreement and sure enough there's Sarah's car in the parking lot and when I knocked on the door Derek answered and the look on his face when he saw me was pure panic and guilt and he tried to close the door but I pushed past him and found Sarah sitting on the couch in a bathrobe looking like she'd just woken. Up even though it was three in the afternoon. The confrontation that followed was probably the ugliest thing I've ever been part of and I'm not proud of some of the things I said,

but I was so angry and hurt that I couldn't control myself and just started yelling about how they'd both been lying to me for months and planning this behind my back while. Pretending to be concerned about our marriage. Sarah tried to deny it at first and said she'd only moved in with Derek after we separated and that the apartment was just temporary until she figured out what she wanted to do long-term, but I had copies of the lease that Derek had sent and the emails with the lawyer and the phone records and she couldn't explain any of it without admitting that she'd been planning to leave me long

before she claimed she started having doubts. Derek kept trying to get me to leave and said this was between me and Sarah and didn't involve him but I told him that he'd been texting my wife for months while we were still married and living together so he was definitely involved and that he was a coward for sneaking around instead of being honest about what was happening. The whole thing devolved into screaming and name calling and Sarah crying and saying she'd never meant for it to happen this way and that she'd just gotten confused and scared but that she still loved me and wanted to work things out and I told her that was complete bullshit and that

you don't accidentally plan a divorce for months and move in. With another man if you love your husband. Derek finally told me to get out or he'd call the police and I said, go ahead because I wanted them to know that he'd been having an affair with a married woman and helping her plan a divorce so she could move in with him but then Sarah begged me not to make this any messier than it already was and said we could talk privately if I would just leave Derek out of it. I left, but I was shaking with rage and I sat in my car for like an hour trying to process what I just learned and how completely I'd been played by someone I thought I knew and loved and trusted

with my whole life and future and I started thinking about all the times over the past few. Months when she'd made me feel like I was crazy or paranoid for suspecting that something was going on. That night Sarah called me crying and begging me to meet her so she could explain everything and I almost didn't answer but I was curious to see what kind of story she'd come up with now that I knew the truth about the timeline and the planning. In the apartment with Derek. We met and she immediately started apologizing and saying she knew she'd handled everything wrong but that she'd been scared and confused and hadn't known how to deal with her feelings about our marriage and her attraction to Derek and had made a

series of bad decisions that snowballed into this mess. She said that she'd started talking to the lawyer and looking at apartments as a way to explore her options and figure out what she really wanted, but that she'd never been completely sure about leaving me until I quit my job without talking to her first, and that's when she realized we had different values and priorities and couldn't make our marriage work. But then she said that seeing how successful my business had become made her realize that she'd been wrong about my ability to provide for us and that maybe she'd been too focused on short-term financial security instead of trusting in our long-term partnership, and that's why she wanted to

try again now that she understood what I was capable of. I asked her about the hotel charges and the apartment with Derek and all the lies she told me about the timeline and she broke down crying and admitted that she'd been seeing Derek for months and that they'd been physical but that it was just because she felt so disconnected for me in our marriage and that it didn't mean. Anything compared to what we had together. She kept saying that Derek was just a rebound or a way to deal with her loneliness and anger, but that I was the person she really loved and wanted.

wanted to be with and that she'd made a huge mistake by getting involved with him, but now she realized what she'd almost thrown away and wanted to fix things between us. The whole conversation made me feel sick because every word out of her mouth was either a lie or a manipulation designed to make me feel sorry for her and take her back and I could see right through it now that I knew the real timeline and how much planning had gone into her betrayal. I told her that I couldn't trust anything she said anymore because she'd been lying to me for months and that even if she was sorry now it was only because my business was successful and she realized she might be better off financially staying married to me than starting over with Derek

who probably doesn't make as much money. She got defensive and said it wasn't about money and that she genuinely loved me and regretted her mistakes but I pointed out that she'd only started having second thoughts after I landed the big contract and started making more money than ever and that seemed like quite a coincidence if her feelings were really about love and not financial. Security We argued for another hour and she kept begging me to give her another chance and promising that she'd end things with Derek

and go to counseling and do whatever it took to rebuild our marriage but I told her that I didn't think I could ever trust her again after everything I discovered and that I wasn't interested in being someone's. Backup plan when their first choice didn't work out. That was yesterday and I've been thinking about everything that's happened and trying to figure out what I want to do next and the more I think about it, the more convinced I am that Sarah only wants me back because I'm making good money again and that if my business failed tomorrow, she'd.

Probably run right back to Derek or start looking for her next option. I feel like such an idiot for believing her story about being scared and making mistakes when the reality is that she was planning to leave me for months and had already moved on with someone else and only changed her mind when she realized that staying married to me might be more profitable than getting divorced and starting over. I wanted to update everyone who gave me advice because your comments really helped me see that I needed to dig deeper and find out the truth instead of just accepting Sarah's version of events and feeling guilty about not giving her another chance. I'm going to call my own lawyer tomorrow and start the process of protecting my business assets and making sure that Sarah doesn't get rewarded for her dishonesty and betrayal

and I'm done trying to save a marriage with someone who clearly never valued or respected me the way I valued and respected her. So to answer my original question, I definitely don't think I'm the asshole for refusing to take Sarah back after everything she did and I'm confident that I'm making the right choice by going through with the divorce and moving on with my life without someone who only wanted me for what I could provide rather than for who I actually am as a person. Thanks again for all the support and advice and I'll probably update again once I've talked to the lawyer and and figured out what the next steps are, but right now I just want to focus on my business and moving forward with my life without someone who thinks I'm just a financial safety net to fall back on when her other plans don't work out. Final update, this is probably going to be my last update unless something really crazy happens but I wanted to let everyone know how things ended up and what I decided to do after

discovering the truth about Sarah's timeline and her real motivations for wanting to reconcile our marriage. I called a divorce lawyer yesterday morning and spent two hours going over all the evidence I'd gathered about Sarah's planning and her relationship with Derek and the lawyer said I had a very strong case for demonstrating that she'd been planning the divorce for months and had been having an affair which would definitely work in my favor when it came to asset division and spousal support. The lawyer also helped me understand how to protect my business assets since most of the growth and success had happened after Sarah had already moved out and filed for divorce and started living with Derek which meant she couldn't claim

that her support and partnership had contributed to the business. Success she now wanted to benefit from. I was feeling pretty good about having a clear legal strategy and moving forward with ending this marriage once and for all, but then Sarah showed up at my house around noon completely hysterical and begging me not to go through with the divorce and saying she'd made the biggest mistake of her life and would. Do anything to fix things between us.

She said Derek had broken up with her the night after I'd confronted them at the apartment and that he told her he didn't want to be involved in a messy divorce situation and couldn't handle the drama and stress of being with someone who was still married and trying to figure out what she wanted. According to Sarah, he basically kicked her out and told her that he thought she should try to work things out with me since it was obvious she was still confused about her feelings and that he didn't want to be anyone's rebound relationship or second choice and that she needed to figure out her life before getting involved with someone new.

So now she was completely alone and panicking about losing both Derek and me and she was crying and saying she realized now that I was the only person who had ever really loved her and that she'd been an idiot to throw away our marriage for someone who didn't even want her when things got complicated. She begged me to forget about the lawyer and give her one more chance to prove that she was serious about our marriage and that she'd learn from her mistakes and would never betray my trust again and she promised to go to counseling and do whatever work was necessary to rebuild our relationship and regain my trust. I told her that I appreciated her apology but that too much had happened for me to trust her again

and that I didn't want to be married to someone who only valued me when their other options didn't work out and she started crying harder and saying that wasn't true and that she'd always loved me but had just gotten scared and made bad decisions. But here's the thing that really sealed it for me and showed me that even now when she supposedly learned her lesson and wants to make things right, she's still being manipulative, and dishonest about her real motivations and I'm glad I saw through it before I made the mistake of taking her back. While she was crying and begging me to reconsider she mentioned several times how well my business was doing and how proud she was of what I'd accomplished and how she'd always

believed in me even when she was scared about the financial changes and it was obvious that she was trying to remind me of how much money I was making now and how good our life could be if we stayed together. She also kept talking about our house and our cars and the vacation we'd been planning to take next year and how much she missed our old life together and wanted to get back to being happy and successful as a couple and it was clear that she was thinking about the lifestyle and security I could provide not. About actually loving me as a person. The final straw was when she said she'd been talking to her sister about our situation and that her sister had pointed out how rare it was to find a man who was both financially successful and

genuinely good-hearted and that Sarah shouldn't give that up lightly and that most women would kill to have a husband. Who could provide the kind of security and stability that I offered? When she said that I realized that even her apology and her begging was really just about money and what I could do for her and that she still didn't understand that she destroyed something that couldn't be fixed with promises and tears and that I deserved better than someone who saw me primarily as a financial asset. I told her that I was definitely going through with the divorce and that nothing she could say would change my mind and that she needed to accept that our marriage was over and start figuring out how to build a life for herself that didn't

depend on using other people for financial security. She got angry then and started yelling about how I was being cruel and that she'd made mistakes but everyone deserves forgiveness and a second chance and that I was throwing away eight years of marriage over pride and stubbornness and that I'd regret this decision when I was old and alone. I stayed calm and told her that I wasn't being vindictive, I was just being realistic about what kind of person she'd shown herself to be and that I couldn't spend my life with someone I couldn't trust and that she'd made her choice when she started planning to leave me months ago and moved in with Derek. She finally left after threatening to fight me on the divorce and try to get half of everything

including my business, but my lawyer had already warned me that she might try that and we'd prepared for it by documenting the timeline of everything. This morning I got a text from her saying she was sorry for getting angry and that she still hoped I'd change my mind but that she understood why I was hurt and that she'd always love me even if we couldn't make our marriage work and it was actually kind of sad because I think part of her really does believe that she loved me even though her. Actions showed that she only valued what I could provide for her. I'm meeting with my lawyer again tomorrow to finalize the divorce paperwork and I'm actually feeling relieved and optimistic about the future for the first

time in months because I know I'm making the right decision and not letting someone manipulate me into staying in a relationship that was never really what I thought it was. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse became pregnant and claimed it was mine until the former partner of my closest companion contacted me in tears, revealing his infidelity. I then conducted an investigation and discovered that my spouse and best friend were having an affair and the baby might not be mine. My wife, who I will call Chloe, and I have been married for five years.

We have been together for eight. We built a life together from nothing. We had a small apartment when we first got married, and we both worked long hours to save up for a house. We bought our house three years ago. It was our dream. We did everything together, from picking out the paint colors to planting a garden in the backyard.

We were supposed to start trying for a family next year. That was the plan we agreed on. My best friend, I will call him Mark, has been my friend since our first year of college. We were roommates for four years. He was the best man at my wedding. I was going to be the best man at his, if he ever got married. He was more like a brother than a friend. He was at our house at least twice a week.

We would watch sports, work on cars, and just hang out. He and Chloe always got along great. I thought it was perfect that my wife and my best friend liked each other so much. I saw them as two of the most important people in my world, and it made me happy that they had their own friendship. About two months ago, Chloe told me she was pregnant. I was shocked. We had been using protection because we had agreed to wait until next year. I remember asking her about it, and she just smiled and said it must have been a happy accident.

She said that maybe the universe knew better than we did. I was hesitant at first because of our plan, but her happiness was infectious. I got swept up in it. I started getting excited. I began looking at cribs online and reading books about being a father. I let myself believe in the happy accident. The first sign that something was wrong came about a month ago. Mark's long-term girlfriend, a woman I will call Sarah, called me.

late one night. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her. She told me that she and Mark had broken up. When I asked why, she said that Mark had been acting distant for months and she finally confronted him. He had admitted to cheating on her. I was devastated for her, and for him. I told her I was so sorry and that I would talk to Mark. I thought he was just being an idiot and that I could help him fix things with Sarah. They had been together for almost ten years. When I confronted Mark about it, he was defensive. He told me it was none of my business and that his relationship with Sarah was complicated. He said he had made a mistake and he was dealing with it. I pushed him, telling him that ten years was not something to just throw away.

He got angry and told me to drop it. He yelled that I had no idea what was going on. He said, The fight was ugly. We had never fought like that before. He left my house, and we did not speak for a week. During that week, Chloe was very supportive of me. She held me when I was upset about my fight with Mark. She told me that he was probably just going through something and that he would come around. She encouraged me to give him his space.

I now see that she was not being supportive, she was being manipulative. The truth came out last week. Sarah called me again. She sounded different this time. Not hysterical, but cold and very calm. She said that she had done some digging because Mark's story did not add up. She had found a charge on his credit card statement for a hotel room from a few months back. On a hunch, she checked his phone records.

There were dozens of calls and texts to one number he had tried to delete. She looked up the number. It was Chloe's. Sarah told me that she believed Mark and Chloe were having an affair. The hotel charge was from a weekend I was out of town for a work conference. The phone calls and texts have been going on for at least six months. She then asked me when Chloe's due date was. I told her.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Then Sarah told me that based on when she thought the affair started, there was a very real possibility that the baby was not mine. I hung up the phone. I did not want to believe it. I went into the living room where Chloe was watching television. I stood in front of the screen and I asked her directly if she was having an affair with Mark. She immediately started crying.

She did not even try to deny it. She just sat there on the couch, sobbing, and said it was a mistake. The argument that followed was the worst moment. moment of my entire life. I did not stay calm. I screamed at her. I asked her how she could do this to me, in our house. She cried and said that she did not know how it happened. She said that she had been feeling lonely and that I was always working. She claimed that Mark was just there, and one thing led to another. I got in her face and I yelled that I worked hard to build our life, the life she wanted. I pointed at the walls of our house and told her my sweat paid for them.

Then I asked her about the baby. I asked her whose baby it was. She broke down completely. She sobbed that she did not know. She said she was scared and that she was hoping it was mine. She kept repeating that she wanted it to be mine. That was what broke me. The hope that she could lie to me for the rest of my life, that she could raise another man's child with me and have me believe it was mine. I told her to get out. She refused. She screamed that she was pregnant and had nowhere to go. She said I was being cruel. I started grabbing her things and throwing them into bags. She tried to stop me, grabbing my arms. I pulled away from her, and I told her that if she was not out of the house in an hour, I would throw all of her belongings onto the front lawn.

She finally left, still crying, and went to her parents' house. The next day, she started calling my phone. Her parents also started calling me. They were telling me that I was a monster for kicking out my pregnant wife. They said that all marriages have problems and that I needed to be a man and forgive her. Chloe had told them that we had a fight, but she left out the part about the affair and the baby's paternity. That is when I made my decision. I drove to her parents' house. Chloe was there, sitting on the couch between her mother and father.

They all looked at me like I was a villain. Her father started to stand up, telling me that I had a lot of nerve showing my face. I did not let him finish. I stood in their living room and I told them everything. I told them that Chloe had been sleeping with my best friend, for over six months. I told them that she was pregnant and that she had admitted to me that the baby might be marks. The room went completely silent. Chloe's face was white.

Her mother just stared at me, then at her. Her father sat back down, looking stunned. Chloe started screaming that I was a liar and that I was trying to ruin her life. She stood up and tried to come at me, but her father held her back. I looked at her and I told her that she had ruined her own life, and mine. Then I turned around and walked out. Now my phone is blowing up with texts from her, from her family, from our mutual friends. Some are calling me an evil, vindictive person for airing her dirty laundry like that.

They say I should have handled it privately. Chloe is saying I did it just to hurt her and humiliate her. My own parents think I was justified, but they are biased and I am starting to wonder if I went too far. I was hurt and angry, and I acted. But was it the right thing to do? Ida. Update 1. It has been two weeks since my original post. First, thank you to everyone who commented.

The overwhelming antea verdict helped me feel less like I was going insane. Reading stories from other people who had been through similar betrayals was horrible. but it also made me feel less alone. I want to provide an update because things have progressed, and not in a good way. After I left her parents' house, the situation fractured Chloe's family. Her father called me the next day. He sounded like a broken man. He apologized for his daughter's behavior and for how he had treated me. He told me he was disgusted and ashamed. Her mother, on the other hand, has doubled down on supporting Chloe. She has been leaving me voicemails telling me that I am destroying her daughter and that I will regret my actions.

Chloe is currently staying with her. As for Mark, he has been completely silent. He has not answered my calls or texts. He has essentially vanished. His ex-girlfriend, Sarah, however, has been in contact. After my original post, I decided to meet with her. in person. We met and it was one of the strangest experiences of my life. Sarah had gone through Mark's bank statements and phone records with a fine-tooth comb. She had his login details.

She had dates, times, and locations. The affair was more extensive than I had imagined. It was not just a one-time mistake or a series of them. It was an ongoing relationship. They had a routine. They met for lunches. They used a specific hotel on the other side of town. Hearing the details made me feel sick. Sarah is angry. She is not just heartbroken, she is furious. She wasted ten years of her life on a man who was building a separate life behind her back.

While we were talking, she looked at me and said that she wanted to make sure they did not get away with it. She said they should not be allowed to just destroy our lives. and build a happy one together on the ruins. I found myself agreeing with her completely. It was in that moment that we decided to work together. It is not about revenge and the dramatic, movie-like sense. It is about ensuring there are consequences for their actions. The first step was hiring a lawyer.

I found the most ruthless divorce attorney I could find. I met with him last week, with Sarah present. She provided all the evidence. she had collected. My lawyer was very clear. The state we live in is a no-fault divorce state, so the infidelity does not legally affect the division of assets in a major way. However, the paternity of the child is a huge issue. He has filed the divorce papers on my behalf. He also filed a motion to compel a prenatal paternity test. Chloe was served the divorce papers at her mother's house. According to the process server, her mother,

opened the door, took the papers, and slammed the door in his face. A few hours later, my phone rang. It was Chloe. She was screaming so loudly that I had to hold the phone away from my ear. She was hysterical. She accused me of trying to take her baby away from her. She shrieked that the stress was going to cause her to Miss Gary and that it would be my fault. She said I was a monster and that she wished she had never met me. I just listened, and when she paused to take a breath, I told her that she should have her lawyer contact mine. Then I hung up. The next day, Mark and Chloe showed up at my house together. I saw them pull up from the living room window. I opened the door before they could even knock. They were standing on my porch,

Mark looking nervous and Chloe looking defiant. Mark started to speak, saying that we needed to talk, that this had all gone too far. I cut him off. I told him that he was not welcome at my house and that he needed to leave. Chloe pushed past him and got in my face. She screamed that this was her house too and that I could not just kick her out and then try to take her child. She poked me in the chest, yelling that I was being controlled by Sarah. She called Sarah a vindictive which who was poisoning my mind. Mark tried to pull Chloe back, telling her to calm down. She turned on him, screaming at him not to tell her what to do and that he needed to be a man and stand up to me. The two of them started arguing right there on my front porch. It was a pathetic spectacle.

He was telling her she was making things worse, and she was crying that he was not supporting her. I had enough. I yelled over both of them. I told them that they had five seconds to get off my property before I called the police for trespassing. That finally shut them up. Chloe gave me a look of pure hatred. Mark just looked defeated. He took her by the arm and let her back to the car. As they drove away, I saw them arguing in the car. I have changed all the locks on the house. I have also frozen our joint savings account, leaving only the joint checking account with enough money for immediate bills open. My lawyer advised me to do this to protect the marital assets from being drained.

I have started the process of getting the house appraised so I can buy her out of her share. Sarah and I have been spending a lot of time together, mostly with our respective lawyers and going over financial documents. She is suing Mark for the money she invested in the house they shared, which was in his name. I know this is going to get much uglier before it gets better. Update 2. This will likely be my longest update yet. as events have accelerated dramatically in the past month. The motion for a prenatal paternity test was granted by the court. Chloe fought it, of course.

Her lawyer argued that it was medically unnecessary and was being done purely to harass a pregnant woman. My lawyer, in turn, presented the evidence Sarah had collected, including the hotel receipts and text logs, arguing that determining paternity was essential for the divorce proceedings, particularly concerning future child support and custody arrangements. The judge agreed with us. The day Chloe had to go for the amiensensis was a tense one.

Her mother called me in the morning and left a voicemail. She was sobbing, accusing me of putting her daughter and grandchild at risk for my own selfish need for revenge. She called me a heartless creature. I deleted the voicemail without listening to all of it. I did not feel good about the procedure. but I felt it was necessary. The uncertainty was a poison, and I needed it out of my system.

The results came back two weeks later. My lawyer called me and asked me to come to his office. Sarah came with me. We sat in his conference room, and he slid a document across the table. I did not even need to read the whole thing. The key phrase jumped out at me. The alleged father is excluded as the biological father of the fetus. I should have felt relief.

I just stared at the paper. It was the undeniable confirmation of the lie I had almost lived. Sarah reached across the table and put her hand on my arm. She did not say anything. She did not need to. We sat in silence for a few minutes. Then my lawyer cleared his throat and started talking about the next steps. With the paternity confirmed, we could now finalize the divorce on much clear.

cleaner terms. There would be no child support for me. No custody battle. I was free. We had the house appraised. As I expected, Chloe's lawyer contested the appraisal, claiming it was too low. We are now in the process of getting a second, court-appointed appraisal. In the meantime, I have been systematically separating our lives. I went through every room in the house and packed all of Chloe's personal belongings into boxes. I stacked them neatly in the garage. I called her and left a message telling her that she could arrange a time to pick them up. She came with Mark a few days later. It was not a civil event. I had asked two of my friends to be at the house with me, just in case things got out of hand. Chloe walked into the house and looked around. She saw that I had

already taken down all of our photos. The walls were bare. She started to cry, not loudly, but quietly. She whispered that she could not believe I had erased her. Mark tried to play the peacemaker again. He came up to me and said that they were struggling. He said that with his legal battle with Sarah and now with the baby coming, they were in a bad place financially. He asked if I could find it in my heart to be more generous with the divorce settlement. He had the audacity to stand in the house I bought, next to the woman he had an affair with, and asked me for money. Something inside me snapped. I told him that every dollar I gave Chloe beyond what the law required was a dollar I was taking for my own future, a future they had tried to destroy.

I said that they had made their choices, and now they had to live with them. Chloe overheard me. Her quiet tears turned into rage. She started screaming that I was obsessed with money and that I never cared about her. She pointed at me and yelled that I was a cold, empty man, and that this was why she had turned to Mark in the first place. She said Mark had a heart, that he had passion, while I only had a checkbook. The argument escalated into a full-blown screaming match in my living room.

My friends had to step between us. Mark was yelling at me to stop upsetting Chloe, saying she was pregnant. I screamed back that he should have thought about that before he slept with my wife. Chloe was sobbing hysterically, calling me every name she could think of. In the middle of it all, she stumbled and clutched her stomach, crying out that she was having cramps. Mark panicked. He started yelling at me that I had done this, that if anything happened to the baby, it was my fault. He helped a crying Chloe out of the house and to their car, shooting me a look of pure venom

before he left. They did not take any of her things. The boxes are still sitting in my garage. The fallout has extended to our social circle. Sarah and I made a conscious decision to not hide what happened. When our mutual friends asked, we told them the truth, backed up by the paternity test results. The friend group has been shattered. have sided with Chloe and Mark, buying into the narrative that I am of indictive monster and that

Sarah is a scorned woman out for blood. Others are disgusted with them and have cut them off completely. Every social gathering has become a minefield. We have lost friends over this. But the biggest escalation happened at work. Mark and I work for the same firm, though in different departments. Sarah, while going through Mark's expenses for her own lawsuit, noticed that he had a expensed several expensive client dinners on dates that coincided with the hotel stays. The restaurants were nowhere near the client's offices. She also found records of him using the company car for trips that were clearly not work-related, based on the mileage and locations. Sarah and I debated what to do with this information for a long time. But then we thought about

Mark asking me for money, about Chloe blaming me for everything. We decided to act. I anonymous submitted the evidence to the company's HR department through their whistleblower portal. I did not mention the affair. I just presented it as a case of potential expense and asset fraud. An internal investigation was launched last week. I know this because Mark was suspended pending the outcome. Yesterday, I heard through the office that he was fired. They terminated his employment for gross misconduct and misuse of company property. The moment I heard the news, I felt a surge of something I can only describe as dark satisfaction. He had lost his job.

His career at the company we had both started at as junior engineers was over. I called Sarah and told her. She was quiet for a moment, and then she said, good. The consequences were immediate. That night, my car's tires were slashed while it was parked in my driveway. There is no proof, but I know who did it. I have filed a police report and installed security cameras around the house. This is my life now.

Sarah and I have grown closer through all of this. Our relationship started as an alliance, but it is becoming something more. We understand each other's anger and pain. We are the only two people who know the full story. We are in this together until the end. I am no longer asking if I am the asshole. I honestly do not care anymore. I am just seeing this through.

Final update this is the last time I will be posting about this situation. There is not much left to say, and frankly, I am tired of living in it. The last few months have been a slow, grinding conclusion to a miserable chapter of my life. The divorce was finalized last month. After Mark was fired, their ability to fight me on financial matters evaporated. Chloe's lawyer became much more agreeable. They accepted the second appraisal of the house. I had to take out a new mortgage, but I was able to buy her out.

The house is now officially mine alone. Her name is off the deed. Her boxes from the garage were picked up by her father while I was at work. He left a short note for me, simply saying he was sorry for everything. I have not heard from her mother since that last voicemail. Mark's professional life is in ruins. Being fired for gross misconduct from a firm in our industry has effectively blacklisted him. Sarah's lawsuit against him also concluded.

She was able to prove that she had contributed a significant amount of money to their shared home and assets. The court ordered him to pay her back. Between that and his unemployment, he is financially destroyed. Chloe gave birth to a boy two weeks ago. I only know this because a former mutual friend sent me a text message with a picture. I deleted it immediately. The baby's existence is a fact, but it has nothing to do with me. According to the same friend, Chloe and Mark are living in a small, cheap apartment.

Mark is working a manual labor job for cash to make ends meet. Chloe is on maternity leave from her part-time job, but there is no guarantee it will be there when she is ready to go back. Their lives are a mess. They got what they wanted, each other and a baby, but they lost everything else. Sarah and I are together now. We live together in my house. I fell in love with Sarah. I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse covertly continued communicating with his former partner, and hurried to console her when she phoned him in distress, later arriving home intoxicated with marks of lip color, prompting me to prepare my belongings. and left him. I, 32F, and my husband, 38M, have been married for three years. Our relationship has had its ups and downs, but we're a relatively happy couple. Though, in the beginning of our relationship, he was also dating Angela, 24F, 5 years ago, L was unaware of this other relationship, but when I found out, I confronted him and he told me that since we weren't officially dating that he didn't know we were exclusive. I told him that if he didn't cut off this relationship with Angela, that I was going to break it off.

We left it at that and we didn't talk for a while when he came to my apartment unexpectedly weeks later saying it was over with Angela and that he wanted to try again and asked me to be his girlfriend. Ever since then we have been a pretty normal couple, we have our moments but our relationship is going good and I believe he is my soulmate. Recently there's been an issue in our relationship though, Angela.

Three weeks ago, we were out running errands and went to a small bobbish shop that just opened up next to our local grocery store, As we were off to the side looking at the menu. From the corner of my eye I see a woman that looks similar to Angela walk in, I do a double take and sure enough it's her. I feel an intense amount of dread and hope that hubby doesn't see her. As I'm internally panicking, I hear a woman's voice call for my husband.

And as you might have guessed, it was Angela. My husband turns around and they have a small but awkward conversation. The whole time I just as associate and stare off to the distance, until she asks my husband is that your wife? To which he just nods and holds my hand. I pretty much just awkwardly smile and pray this encounter would end the whole time. Eventually she gets in line and we wait behind her. I felt so embarrassed.

I immediately got out drinks and leave. That was that, until two weeks ago when I saw my husband's phone light up to a Facebook messenger notification, I asked him who it was from as he never uses messenger. He said it was from an old friend, I asked him. who and he said I wouldn't know. I became suspicious but wasn't necessarily worried because I just assumed it was a friend. Until a few days later when he got another Facebook messenger notification while I was ordering food off his phone, it was from Angela. I was shocked and confused. I went to their messages and everything seemed friendly and casual, though because of their history,

I felt very uncomfortable with them talking. I went up to him and confronted him about the texts and asked why she was texting him. He told me that after running into her she friend him on Facebook and they began talking, he assured me it was all casual but I still told him I didn't want him talking to her. He assured me he would stop. I told him to unfriend her to which he hesitated to, but eventually did. There was no issue or word from Angela until last night, to which from my knowledge she spammed messaged my husband, and even called him crying telling him that her mother was sick.

I guess he knew her mother and felt sympathy towards her. Angela vented to him about how she had no one and she just needed someone to comfort her. She asked my husband if he could come and be there for her to which he said yes, I had no idea he was doing this until I saw him putting his shoes on near the door. I asked him where he was going and he told me the story of Angela's mom and that she needed someone to be with her. I told him to not go, and we had a small argument. He was rushing out the door, so I blocked him in and said that if he was going to go see and comfort his ex-girlfriend, that he wasn't allowed back in. He scoffed and pushed past me, I watched as he left, I went back inside.

poured a few drinks while I tried my hardest to not cry and blow up his phone. Eventually, three hours passed and he came back home, I sat on the couch during this and as he came in I told him that he wasn't allowed to sleep here. He was shocked, and we got into another argument and to cut it short. He told me he had nowhere to go, so I told him that maybe he should go to Angela as they seemed to help each other a lot. He then left again and I haven't heard anything from him. L. I'm currently staying up and have had a few drinks. I decided to post this on Reddit as I feel like I might have overreacted and been in a whole,

I just need advice on how to handle this whole situation as I'm barely able to process what to do. I'm sorry if this was long, I needed to vent. Edit, hi everyone, goodness so many of you, thank you everyone for commenting and your support. I'm going to respond to some comments right now. Small update, I eventually went to sleep and sent a text that I was sick and wasn't coming into work today. It's currently 2 p.m. where I live and I've just been napping and kind of out of it. I haven't heard from him at all and he hasn't came back home. I'm kind of worried as I don't know where he's at. His location has been off since yesterday. I might send him a text later to make sure he's okay. I don't know if this is a good idea as I'm not in the best mindset right now and have been in zombie mode. As of now, I'm trying to process what even happened as it went by so fast. I'll keep you all updated if anything. happens. Thank you all again. Update 1, March 4th, 2025. Hi everyone, it's been eight days since I posted my original post, and I finally have an update for you all. I'm sorry it took long,

but I've been sick. This is going to be long, so I apologize as I have to address a few things. I want to first say thank you to those that gave helpful and supportive comments, and to those that said I drove my husband straight to another woman's arms or I was hostile and confused. I was hostile and controlling, first, if my husband was willing to go to another woman when in an argument with his wife, then is he really my husband? I mean I have some standards to not marry an awful person. Second, to those that said I was controlling and hostile towards Angela, if you have a partner and are okay with them doing something like this, then that's something within your boundaries, not mine. I don't like having contact with exes or having my husband be in contact with his exes.

Finally the age gap, I explained the story of how they met and such on a comment but to sum it up, she had originally lied about her age, I didn't know her age or anything about her until I was engaged. Okay on to what happened. He eventually came home later than day, I was watching TV on the couch when he walked in, we looked at each other and didn't say anything. He went to our room, took a shower and fell asleep. I was still upset with him so I avoided going to check up on him or even talk to him. to him so I waited in the living room slash kitchen until a few hours later when he woke up.

I decided to make dinner, he came out, sat on the couch and we ate in silence before he asked if I wanted to talk, I said I did and he explained what happened. From what he told me, when we saw her at the Boba shop, she had friend him on Facebook later that day. He didn't friend her back though and ignored it, and eventually a few days later she sent him a message request. This is when he handed me his phone to see the messages. To sum it up, she texted him a few times over a range of days without an answer, from pleasantries, updates about her life and finally a suicidal message. Now I don't know what is allowed to be said in this subreddit but my husband did respond out of worry for another person or so he claimed. They talked a lot about her addictions, self-harm and other very personal things relating to that, through reading I did find out she had a boyfriend, and that he was actually 51 years old.

My husband calmed her down and they stopped talking for a few days, when she reached out again and the same thing happened. This repeated again, where he wouldn't respond until she guilt him too. When I had found out and told him to block her, he actually didn't block her out of fear, but he didn't respond to her messages until that night. She actually sent very concerning messages beforehand and called him on messenger, he answered and he said that she was wailing and screaming in pain, now I don't want to say too much, but she had told him she attempted by taking a bunch of pills because of her mother, which is why he rushed to her. When he got there, he told me she was acting strangely and almost pretending to have done what she did. He tried to get her to the hospital to which she refused, after pleading for a while, he was getting ready to call 911 when she confessed

she didn't actually take any pills, he was confused and asked why she said she did. She couldn't give him a clear answer. My husband was going to leave when she begged him to let her explain again, she said her mom is the only person who cares about her, and that she needed somebody with her after she found out she was sick and that she had no one but my husband and my husband wouldn't come otherwise if it wasn't urgent. My husband wasn't buying it so he asked if her mom was even sick to which she denied it but seemed to be lying. My husband then left. He told me he just stayed in his car for a while before coming back home and that's when the confrontation happened. He said he was very tired and felt horrible so he wasn't in the right headspace to explain right then and there.

He also told me he didn't go back to Angela's but instead just stayed in his car, got food, and pretty much wandered town until he got home later that day. After this, I felt very overwhelmed. I usually like to take time to myself to process things before making a decision or response, so I told him I needed time. I didn't interact with him until the next morning and told him I needed more time before talking to his. him again and was going to stay with my parents for a few day. And now we're here. A few days actually turned into a week because as soon as I got here, I got sick. So I haven't felt good enough to even drive back home, much less process or think much. I secretly don't even know how or what to do, like how do we just go back to normal. I still feel betrayed and even though he didn't cheat,

I don't trust him, and I don't even know if he's telling the truth. I mean divorce is extreme for something so minor, but I don't know. I have to go back home tomorrow as I feel a bit better and I can't hide out here forever and I have responsibilities, even though it's been a nice escape and being with my family has been great. I haven't talked much to my husband except through texts so tomorrow will be our first face-to-face conversation in a week. So that's the update. What actually reminded me to do this update was I got a random message request on Instagram a few hours ago from a burner account. It's a picture and I'm kind of scared to open it. I know it's probably a scam thing,

but something in my gut is telling me it's connected to Angela and I don't know if I should open it. Update, so I opened the picture. It was a screenshot from what I assume is Angela's private story of her and lingerie with a caption that says she'll just have to taste me when she's kissing him. Comments where OPP has replied, comment or one, well, the good news is that you're not the only one who's been feeling sick lately. The bad news is that it's not just physical, it's also emotional after reading this update. Hang in there, OPP.

O-O-P, yes, sadly, curse you germs. But I feel like emotionally, I've been struggling a lot as I don't really know what to do or how to process this. I want to go to my husband and ask for his help like always, but I know I can't. Especially if I can't even trust his word and I don't know if I'll even have my husband soon. I'm very lost. I'm dreading going back home and facing the music. Comment or two, send him the picture and ask what that's all about. OOP, I saved the photo and I'm planning on doing so later tonight.

I'm very anxious when it comes to this kind of stuff, so I'm trying to calm my nerves first. Comment or three, he eventually came home later than day. I was watching TV on the couch when he walked in, we looked at each other and didn't say anything. He went to our room, took a shower and fell asleep as it normal for him. to walk in the house and take a shower in the early afternoonish, a guest based on your timeline? Oh, O-op, no it isn't. He usually showers at night, but he hadn't the night prior, so I just assume he's showered because of that. Update 2, hi everyone, it's been a while and I know an update has been overdue and I feel like I can finally now give you guys one. It's been a few weeks and a lot

of stressful things have happened so I apologize for not updating sooner. I finally have a minute to update and I'm going to try to summarize events as a lot has happened so I'm sorry if details seem to be missing. When I went back home, my husband wasn't there, he was at work, I contemplated a ton and was very nervous to confront him as I dislike confrontation and what comes out of it. I was also sick and feeling weak so I just decided to go to sleep and confront him the next morning. The next morning came and we did talk. At first it was awkward small talk over breakfast. He was being extra sweet though since he bought me coffee before I woke up. It was nice. I didn't want to make a huge deal out of it so I just mentioned the picture. He was somehow offended

and asked to see it. I showed him and he said something like, oh, it's just song lyrics and means nothing we went back and forth on this. Don't fully remember what was said but ultimately I just let it go. I went back to work the next day, and for the next few days me and him would argue about Angela almost every day, the only times we didn't argue is when we would ignore each other which was done 90% of the time. I know this was childish of us to do, but I was mad at him and just didn't feel ready to try and repair things. Getting a divorce or separating also felt extreme at the time as I had no evidence of him cheating, and it was just a theory. Work was honestly like an escape as I had my friends slash co-workers there and was able to just be away. For reference I

worked at a small independently owned office as a receptionist. I've worked there for five years and it was my favorite job. Our boss was great. Pay was good. I had friends there and benefits were amazing and despite occasionally being yelled at over the phone, it was honestly the best job I've ever worked at. Then randomly at work we started to get prank calls. Now it's not totally unusual but these ones would happen every day. It would usually be someone just screaming and then hanging up. We were instructed to wait for the other person to speak first during this. After a few days these prank calls did stop, but we kept getting calls from different people asking to talk to our boss, which was odd because rarely would we get this request.

This happened multiple times a day for a few days. My boss usually sends these calls to voicemail as he's busy so few days later I'm about to leave when he asks if I can stay for a bit and talk to him in his office. I did and this is where he showed me the voicemails and asked if I knew these people. they were all complaints about me. I didn't recognize any of the voices, so I said no. My boss assumed these weren't real but to try and find out who these people might be, because of this when someone would call and ask to talk to our boss we had to ask for a phone number and name.

Some would provide it, some wouldn't. Eventually this would happen every single hour and again all complaints about me. My boss decided to just send me home for a few days to see if the calls would end, which they didn't. A few days turned into a week and then I got a call and was fired. From what my co-workers told me the calls continued and my boss was just sick of it as he would have to call back each time and decided it was just easier to fire me. I suspect this was Angela and her friends doing this to try to get me fired and they succeeded. During the week I was home, it was driving me crazy as sometimes I would have to be home with

my husband and all I wanted to do was just argue. Though no issues until I caught him stalking Angela's Instagram. He would sleep on the couch and I would sleep in the room. I caught him when I saw him on his phone from the hallway. I honestly was just tired from it all, so I did blow up at him. His excuse was he just wanted to check up on her. When I told him I was fired and that I suspected it was Angela, he basically called me crazy and said she would never do anything like that.

I was so drained that I didn't even argue. In fact, I didn't even talk to him anymore, which is probably why he felt it was okay to come home late one night, drunk with faded lipstick on and glitter, we had another argument and he left. He didn't come back for days and sent flowers and my favorite food to me with a note that said, I'm sorry, I love you. He came home later that day and he looked pretty distraught

and wanted to explain, I let him. His reasoning was that he felt awful about how our relationship was and needed to de-stress from it. He went out with a few friends for drinks and some girl kissed him and was dancing up on him. He said he rejected her immediately and felt disgusted. I don't know if I believe that still. I asked about Angela and if he was still talking to her to which he said no,

but she did reach out a few times and he did see her once. I asked if they ever slept with each other and he said no, but she kissed him and he rejected her. I asked a whole bunch of other questions about our relationship and some of the answers did hurt. I told him I wanted to separate just for a little bit. he broke down crying and begged me not to leave him, I apologized and packed most of my things as he was on his knees next to me apologizing. I ignored him and left. For the last two weeks I've been at my parents' house.

I finally told them what happened and they despise him. He's been up here almost daily trying to talk to me and my parents refused to let him see me. My parents live in the next town over. He sent me food, flowers, gift cards, literally anything you can door-dash. sent. I've gotten spam calls and messages from him, and I've blocked him. Yet he's gotten his family and some of my distant relatives to do the same. Honestly, I'm tired of him and have begged him to stop trying to contact me, obviously hasn't worked much. For my next moves I am thinking of divorce, but I'm just not ready yet. None of this feels real, I just need to take time

and heal a little before making that decision. I have a feeling divorce is going to be hard, so I just can't handle that yet or another option is therapy and try to reconcile. I'm currently trying to find a job in my parents' town, and I plan to stay here for a while until I'm able to move on fully. Also, I know I didn't talk about her much, but as for Angela, I have no idea if he's talking to her still or anything about her and I want to keep it that way. I don't think there is going to be another update since our relationship is pretty much over. Thank you to those who checked up on me and commented advice I'm forever grateful.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse covertly met up with a colleague outside of work, but when I stumbled upon bills for upscale eateries, I discovered that he had misrepresented his relationship status and splurged currency on her. On her Christmas gift. My 29F, husband, 30M, and I have been together for eight years and married for just over a year now. We met at a friend's house party back when I was in my early 20s. It wasn't anything special or romantic. He spilled his drink on my shoes, apologized profusely, and we ended up talking for the rest of the night while my shoes dried by the radiator.

After that, we just clicked. He asked for my number and the rest is history. Things were actually pretty good between us, or at least I thought they were. He's always been working at the same company since he graduated from college. Some firm that pays well but works him pretty hard. In all our time together, I've almost never heard him talk about any of his co-workers because he's not really that kind of guy who tries to make connections with people. He's very introverted and likes to be in his bubble. The first few years we were dating, I'd ask him about his co-workers and he'd just shrug and say they're fine or nothing interesting to report.

The thing is, he doesn't realize how easy he is to approach and talk to. I've been with him for eight years, so I know this about him. He's very calm, funny and quirky in his own way, which draws people to him even if he doesn't see it. He has this dry sense of humor that catches you off guard. People like talking to him, but he's never been the one to seek out those interactions. We've had a pretty normal routine for years. We both work during the week, sometimes have friends over on weekends, mostly my friend's TBH, and generally just exist together. He's never been the type to go out much without me.

which I guess I got used to. Our typical weekend used to be sleeping in, making a big breakfast together, maybe catching a movie or doing some house projects, then ordering takeout and watching whatever show we were into at the time. Things started changing around six months into our marriage. He started staying late at work more often. Then he said there were some big projects coming up. I didn't think much of it because his company does tend to get busy in cycles.

Then he started being on his phone more. which was unusual for him. He's never been a big texter or social media person. These past few months my husband has been mentioning this poor girl at work. I remember he told me a lot of bullshit happened to her this year, and that's why he's trying to uplift her. This seemed weird to me immediately because my husband does not usually do that. He doesn't usually give a fuck about anyone at work.

Like, at all. I've seen him completely forget co-workers' names even after working with them for years. At first, it was just him mentioning her in passing. This girl at work had her car break down today or that new girl got dumped by her boyfriend this weekend kind of stuff. I didn't think much of it because he's always been a decent person who notices when people are struggling,

even if he doesn't usually get involved. But the frequency was unusual. He's never cared this much about a co-worker's personal life before. Then I noticed he started texting during dinner. He's always been strict about no phones at the table, it was actually one of his pet peeves. When I called him out on it, he said it was work stuff and put the phone away. But the next night it happened again. And again.

Then one Friday, he asked me if I'm cool with him bringing this girl to a bar. Just completely out of nowhere. We were folding laundry together, something we always do on Friday nights, and he just tossed it out there like it was nothing. So, is it cool if I take Sarah out for drinks tomorrow? She's really going through it right now. I asked if I could come along and he said that he doesn't really want to stir up awkwardness between me and her, especially since he's trying to comfort her after she had this recent breakup. Comfort her?

Since when does my husband comfort anyone, let alone a female coworker? This is the same guy who once told his own brother to walk it off when he broke up with his girlfriend of three years. He showed me her picture when I pressed him on it. She's obviously young and very pretty. I'm not trying to be that insecure wife, but come on. She looks like she could be a model or something. Perfect skin, long dark hair, the kind of effortless beauty that makes you feel like a troll in comparison. I immediately felt this pit in my stomach.

I tried to play it cool. Sure, whatever, help your friend, I said. but inside I was screaming. Something felt off, but I didn't want to be that controlling wife who freaks out every time her husband talks to another woman. So I let it go that first time. He went out with her that Saturday, came home around midnight smelling like beer, and passed out without telling me anything about their night. Sunday morning, I casually asked how it went. Fine, he said, not looking up from his phone.

She's going through a lot. And that was it. No details, no stories, nothing. This from the guy who normally gives me a play-by-play of his lunch order. I've read their conversations and it hurts sometimes that my husband always initiates the conversation. Always. He never does that with anyone else. Not even me anymore.

I used to get random texts from him during the day, jokes he thought I'd like or questions about dinner plans or just a simple miss you. Those have all but stopped. In their texts, he's constantly checking on her. How are you feeling today? Did you try that meditation app one suggested? Wanna grab lunch? My treat. It's like he's auditioning for the role of her fucking life coach.

They started going out every Saturday. At first, it was just drinks to help her through her breakup. Then it turned into dinner and drinks. Then whole day excurs. One Saturday he said they were going hiking because she needed to clear her head. Since when does my husband hike? We went once three years ago and he complained the entire time about the bugs. I told him I'm starting to feel uncomfortable with this friendship.

We were getting ready for bed and I tried to keep my voice casual. Don't you think you're spending a lot of time with Sarah? People at work might start talking. He said that there's nothing to worry about and that he's just helping her out. He described it as like a female-female friendship. I don't know what the fuck he's trying to point out with that, but everything between them scares the shit out of me. What does that even mean? That he's gossiping with her? Sharing clothes? What? I asked if I could join them sometime. Just to see what these outings are like. He got this panicked look on his face for just a

split second before saying, yeah, maybe sometime. But she's a little bit. pretty fragile right now and meeting new people is hard for her. Fragile? Meeting new people? I'm not new people I'm his fucking wife. My husband still lets me read their conversation from time to time, which I guess is supposed to make me feel better. But the fuck, it hurts me that he responds to her faster than he does to me.

I'll text him during work hours and get a response three hours later, but the second she texts, he's replying within minutes. I hate how he kept apologizing whenever this girl left him on read. It's like I'm fucking reading how my husband is begging this girl to give him some of her attention and time, and I can't take it anymore. Sorry if I'm bothering you. No worries if you're busy. Just checking in, ignore this if you're swamped.

Who is this desperate person and what has he done with my husband? One time he was in the shower and his phone kept buzzing. I checked and it was her sending him memes. or something. Nothing inappropriate, but the frequency was ridiculous. Like seven messages in a row. When he got out of the shower, he immediately grabbed his phone and started laughing and texting back. He didn't even acknowledge I was in the room. I've started noticing other changes too. He's buying new clothes, but different from his usual style. Slightly more fitted shirts. A new cologne. He never cared about that stuff before.

He's also started going to the gym, which would be fine, healthy even, if it wasn't so clearly tied to when all this started. I don't know how I should approach him because it always ends up with him saying I'm feeling this way for nothing and that there's nothing to worry about. We had a big fight about it last week. I told him point-blank that I think he's developing feelings for this girl. He got defensive immediately. She's just a friend who's going through a hard time, he insisted. Why are you so threatened by this? Don't you trust me?

Making it about my insecurities rather than his behavior. I told him that I want to meet her and he said, for what reason? Like it's fucking weird that I want to meet this person he's spending every Saturday with? He acted like I was suggesting something completely unreasonable. As if meeting your husband's new best friend is some kind of major imposition. I even made dinner plans for us on a Saturday to try to break their routine, and he just rescheduled our dinner for Friday instead. Didn't even ask if that was okay with me.

Just told me we'd go Friday because Saturday was already booked. I've never seen him prioritize anyone else like this. Even his own family takes a backseat to whatever Sarah needs. I asked if she knows he's married, and he got weirdly defensive about it. Of course she knows I'm married. It's not a secret. But I've never heard him mention me in any of those texts I've seen. Not once.

I got my wife and I watched that movie 2 or my wife makes a great pasta sauce or any of the normal ways people reference their spouses in conversation. I don't even think she knows that my husband is married. He never wears his wedding ring to work, claims it gets in the way when he types, and I've never heard him mention me in any of those texts I've seen. One time, he was supposed to come home after work so we could go to my sister's place, but he texted me saying he needed to stay late because this girl was having some crisis. We ended up not going, and my sister was pretty annoyed about it. When I asked him what was so important, he just said she needed someone to talk to and change the subject.

My sister later asked me if everything was okay between us because he's been acting different. I just made up some excuse about work stress. I tried talking to my best friend about this, but she just said I'm overreacting and that man and women can be friends. I know that. I have male friends. But I don't go out drinking alone with them every weekend and text them constantly. I don't buy them expensive gifts or cancel plans with my husband to comfort them. There's friendship and then there's whatever this is.

This morning, I found a receipt in his jacket pocket for a restaurant I've never been to. an expensive one that we've talked about trying for special occasions. I guess it wasn't special enough to take me there. Should I just give him an ultimatum? Tell him it's her or me? Or am I overreacting? I feel like I'm watching my marriage fall apart in slow motion and he's gaslighting me into thinking it's all in my head.

Any advice on how I should handle this? I love him, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. Update, thanks for all the comments, though some of you need. need to chill with the divorce and immediately stuff. To address some common questions, yes, we've had issues before but nothing major. No, we don't have kids, thankfully, given what's happening. Yes, we've been intimate recently, though less frequently than before. After reading some of your comments and ignoring the really mean ones, I decided to approach

my husband again. I spent all day rehearsing what I wanted to say. I wanted to be calm and rational. I wanted to express my feelings without accusing him of anything. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt while still standing up for myself. That all went out the window when he came home late again last night without texting to let me know. He just walked in at 8.30 when he's usually home by six, didn't apologize or explain, and went straight to the fridge like nothing was wrong.

I told him that I want him to stop seeing this girl every Saturday unless he brings me along. He told me that I'm not making any sense and asked why I'm making such a big deal about it. He said he could just bring me if it was that important, but his tone made it clear he thought I was being ridiculous. The way he looked at me was like I was some crazy person demanding he stopped breathing air. I again asked him directly if this girl knew he's married, and based on his reaction, I knew immediately that she doesn't. He actually said, why would I brush the fact I'm married in her face?

Brush IT in her face? Like mentioning you have a wife of eight years is some kind of rude imposition? I called him several names I probably shouldn't repeat here, and he got so upset. In the heat of the moment, I took his phone and went through every single app. He tried to grab it back, but I locked myself in the bathroom. He was pounding on the door yelling at me to respect his privacy, but all I could think was that married people shouldn't need this much privacy from each other. He's been messaging her constantly, way more than I realized.

Pictures of random things that reminded him of her. He sent her a fucking poem once. My husband, who got me a pre-written card for our anniversary, wrote this girl a poem. I found out he gave her a very expensive gift worth almost $1,000. A fucking thousand dollars. I was beyond pissed about it. For context, we have both joint and personal accounts, and he used his personal money for this, but still.

He spent more on her Christmas gift than he did on mine. It was a pair of designer earrings that she had apparently mentioned liking once. Meanwhile, I got a kitchen appliance that I'd specifically said I didn't want because it felt too housewify. A lot of things happened after my original post that my brain couldn't process everything. We had this huge screaming match where I threatened to tell this girl that I'm his wife and that she's being a homewacker. He said he would never forgive me if I ruined this one and only friendship he had. One and only friendship. We've been together eight years and he's acting like this girl he's known for a few months is the only person who understands him.

Then he dropped the bomb. He said that he doesn't feel the love ever since we got married. He said he's never been this happy, excited, and contented with anyone before. Those words felt like actual physical pain. It was like being stabbed while simultaneously falling from a great height. I couldn't breathe. Then he started listing all these things about our relationship that apparently bother him. Things he's never mentioned before.

Said I don't challenge him intellectually whatever the fuck that means. Said I've become complacent in our relationship. Said he feels stifled by my expectations. Where is all this coming from? If he felt this way, why didn't he say so? something months or years ago. Why wait until he's formed this intense bond with someone else to suddenly decide our marriage isn't intellectually stimulating enough? He slept in the guest room that night. I didn't sleep at all. I just laid in our bed staring at the ceiling trying to figure out

when everything went wrong. Was it something I did? Something I didn't do? Is there any way to fix this or is it already too broken? After he left for work the next day, I ended up messaging the girl. I found her on his Instagram and just sent her a simple hi, I'm husband's name's wife. We need to talk.

She replied almost immediately and seemed genuinely shocked. She said that she didn't know he was married and was very apologetic about it. She sent screenshots of their conversations where he explicitly told her he was single. Single. Not separated, not in an open marriage, not going through a divorce.

Fucking single. There were messages where he talked about future plans with her. Weekend trips they could take. He said he wanted to bring her to the kind of apartment they could get together someday. He was so mad when he found out I messaged her. He came home early from work, which was ironic considering how little time he's been spending at home lately. His face was red and he was shaking. He left the house and wouldn't answer his phone.

I started panicking and actually messaged the girl again to ask if she was with him. She said no, that she just got out of a bad breakup and didn't want to be involved in any more drama. She seemed sincerely sorry and said if she had known he was married. She wouldn't have gone out with him at all. I found out she just started working at his company three months ago. Three months. And he's acting like they have this deep connection that I couldn't pull. possibly understand. She's 24, five years younger than me. Not drastically younger, but young

enough that they're in different life stages. She's still going out clubbing with friends while I'm thinking about retirement plans and maybe starting a family someday. I have so many questions swirling in my mind right now. How could he lie so blatantly to both of us? Has he been physically cheating or just emotionally? Why did he start pulling away right after we got married? Why didn't he just talk to me if he was unhappy? I've been sitting in our empty house for hours just staring at the wall trying to make sense of everything. All our photos are still up. Us hiking in the mountains on our third date.

Us at his brother's wedding. Our own wedding. Were we ever really happy or was I just seeing what I wanted to see? He turned his phone off completely, and I have no idea where he is. His best friend hasn't heard from him either. Yes, I called him, so much for one and only friendship. His parents called me asking why he missed their weekly Sunday call, and I didn't know what to tell them. I just said we had a fight and he went out to clear his head.

I couldn't bring myself to tell them what's really happening. They've always been so kind to me. I don't know what happens next. I don't know if he's coming back. Update 2, I wasn't going to update again, but so many people have messaged me asking what happened that I figured I should. Also, writing this out helps me process everything. Even if no one reads it.

First, thanks for all the supportive comments. To those saying I invaded his privacy by taking his phone. Maybe you're right, but when someone's acting as suspicious as he was, sometimes you need to know the truth. And I was right to be suspicious. To the person who suggested I slashes tires. Thanks but no thanks. I'm upset but not looking to commit crimes.

I haven't told any of my family and friends about what's going on. I feel embarrassed, ugly, and pathetic right now. The last thing I want to see on their faces is pity. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. My sister knows something is wrong because I've been avoiding her calls, but I just can't bring myself to tell her what's happening. He was gone for almost 24 hours. No calls, no texts, nothing.

I was actually about to file a missing person report when he finally texted saying he was okay and would be home soon. I don't know where he went or who he was with. Part of me doesn't want to know. My husband came back around 3 a.m. that night. He smelled like alcohol but wasn't completely wasted. We sat at the kitchen table and had probably the most painful conversation of my life. He said he could no longer see me in his future ever since we got married. The reason he's been working late so often was that he doesn't want to be around me.

I asked him why he waited to tell me this since we've been married. He said he thought his feelings would come back eventually, that it was just a phase and there was no way his love for me would be gone overnight. But every day felt worse for him. He said he wakes up next to me and feels nothing. Nothing. After eight years together. He said he tried to make it work, tried to reignite the spark, but it just wasn't happening. He admitted that meeting Sarah accelerated things, but insisted that our problems existed before her.

That she just made him realize what he was missing. He said being around her made him feel alive again in a way he hasn't felt in years. He doesn't want me anymore and thinks it's totally over. Then he had the audacity to suggest we could even be friends. I felt the ultimate betrayal. Nothing in our relationship prepared me for this. Before we got married, he used to leave me little notes around the house. He planned this elaborate proposal at the place we had our first date.

I asked him if there was anything specific that changed after we got married. He shrugged and said he just felt trapped. That our relationship was exciting when we were dating, but once we made it official, all the magic disappeared. I asked if he ever truly loved me, and he said he did, but love changes. What kind of bullshit is that? I told him that we could go for couple counseling and work it out. I begged him to at least try. If he loved me once, maybe he could love me again.

He actually cried, saying he doesn't want to be stuck anymore. It's not about his coworker anymore, according to him. It's about what he feels in our relationship. He cried and asked for a divorce while I'm crying and begging him not to leave. I'm so confused and don't know what to do. I felt like I was a good partner. I supported his career. I tried to make our home nice.

I was there through the death of his grandmother last year. I helped him study for certifications he needed for work. I thought we were happy. We talked about having kids someday, buying a house in the suburbs, growing old together. Was it all just talk? I finally asked him directly about his co-work. and if they ever had sex. He said that he genuinely cares and likes her and he's getting to know her more,

but claims she doesn't see him that way. He swears nothing physical happened between them. Part of me believes this, the texts I saw were emotional but not sexual. But does it even matter? The emotional betrayal hurts just as much. I asked about the money he spent on her, and he said it was just a Christmas gift. A $1,000 just a Christmas gift for someone he's,

known for three months. When I pointed out how inappropriate that was, he got defensive and said I was making it into something it's not. He said she was going through financial difficulties and he was just being a good friend. A good friend who told her he was single and available. The worst part is that I still love him. After everything, I still want to fix things. How pathetic is that? He's been sleeping in the guest room for the past few days. Sometimes I hear hear him on the phone late at night, speaking quietly, and I know who he's talking to. I pretend I don't hear, but every word is like a knife in my heart. We're existing in this awful limbo where we're still living in the same house but barely speaking.

I cook meals for one now. He does his own laundry. We coordinate bathroom schedules to avoid each other. It's like living with a ghost. He mentions splitting our assets and moving out by the end of the month. I can't afford our place on my own, so I'll probably have to move back in with my parents temporarily. Just thinking about having to tell them what happened makes me want to throw up. My mom loved him. She's always telling her friends what a wonderful son-in-law she has.

How do I tell her that he lied to me for months and wants to throw away our marriage for someone he barely knows? I've started looking into divorce lawyers, which is something I never thought I'd be doing at 29. The legal websites are overwhelming. Everything costs so much money. I don't even know where to start. We don't own property together, but we have joint accounts and shared debts. What happens to all of that? My appetite is gone completely.

I've lost weight, which some people might think is a good thing, but not like this. I go to work on autopilot, smile at my coworkers like nothing is wrong, come home to this broken shell of a home and repeat. I am in so much pain that I feel numb. I can't believe this is happening to me. Every song on the radio makes me cry. Every couple I see on the street makes me wonder what they have that we didn't. Every wedding ring commercial makes me change the channel.

The future I thought I had is just gone. I guess I'll be heading into the new year as a fucking divorced almost 30-year-old. Not exactly where I thought I'd be. If anyone has gone through something similar, how did you get through it? Did divorce proceedings destroy you financially? How long did it take before you could go a day without crying? I'm not even sure what I'm asking for anymore. I just feel so alone.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse declared she was departing for me for her supervisor during our decade celebration event. However, her relatives rejected her immediately, and now, seven moons later, consequences have taken effect. Work. I'm still in shock as I write this. Three days ago, my whole life imploded, and I'm trying to make sense of what happened by getting it all down. This is hard to even type out. I never thought I'd be one of those guys posting their relationship disasters on Reddit.

Using Mark and Sarah as our names because those seem to be. to be the go-to-fake names on this sub, and I'm paranoid about anyone we know connecting this to us. Even though the situation is so insane, I'm pretty sure anyone who was there would recognize it instantly. I guess I should start by saying that until three days ago, I thought I had a decent marriage. Not perfect, whose is? But stable. We had plans for the future, but I guess that went down the drain. For context, my wife Sarah has always had. Let's call it an intense personality. When she doesn't get her way or someone challenges her ideas, she goes from zero to 100 real quick.

She talks fast, gets loud, sometimes throws small objects, slams doors, and basically acts like a hurricane until people bend to her will. Then she'll give you the silent treatment until she gets what she wants. I've put up with this for years because I loved her, and honestly, I just got used to accommodating her to avoid. the drama. I know how that sounds. Trust me, I do. But you know how it goes, you don't notice the water getting hotter until you're already boiling. After 10 years together, I'd developed all these coping mechanisms, all these ways of trying to keep the peace. I'd learn to predict her moods, to catch the first signs of a brewing storm, and do whatever I could to diffuse it before it exploded. I should give you a couple examples before I get to the main event, just so you understand what I was

dealing with all these years. Three years ago, we were planning some major renovations on our house. Nothing too crazy, updating the kitchen, redoing the master bath, that kind of thing. We'd been saving for it for years, and I was excited to finally make our house feel more like ours instead of just the starter home we bought. Sarah took charge of the project right away, which was fine with me since she's always had a better eye for design. But then she picked a contractor she liked without doing any comparison shopping. Just decided this guy was the one based on a single meeting where he apparently charmed the pants off her. When I looked at their quote, which was well over our budget, I noticed some red flags. The timeline seemed way too optimistic. They were

claiming they could gut and rebuild our entire kitchen in like two weeks, which anyone who's ever done renovations knows is laughable. Plus, the materials section was suspiciously vague. Just premium countertops and high-quality cabinetry without any specifics about brands, models, or even materials. I'd read enough renovation horror stories on Reddit to know this was a recipe for disaster. So I gently suggested we get a couple more estimates to compare. I wasn't accusing her of making a bad choice, I just thought it was the smart thing to do with such a big investment. Well, you'd have thought I'd suggested we set the house on fire. She immediately lost her shit. Started screaming that I was sabotaging the project, that I didn't trust her

judgment, and that she'd handle everything herself. She said I was always like this, always finding problems with her ideas, always trying to make her feel stupid. Then she stormed out and gave me the silent treatment for two days. Two full days of her acting like I was invisible in our own home, all because I suggested getting multiple quotes for a major house renovation. I finally wore her down about getting a second opinion, mostly by leaving renovation horror stories open on my laptop where she could accidentally see them. We eventually did get a second quote, and surprise surprise, the first contractor was way overpriced with an unrealistic timeline. The second company pointed out all kinds of issues the first guy had glossed over.

Sarah went with the second company but never acknowledged she was wrong or apologized for her outburst. Just pretended the whole fight never happened and proceeded as if going with the second contractor had been her plan all along. I was so relieved we weren't getting scammed that I didn't push it, just added it to the mental list of battles not worth fighting. Another time, about 18 months ago, we were planning our annual vacation. It was my turn to pick the destination, we'd always take in turn a system that worked well for us. We had previously talked about doing something outdoorsy, maybe a cabin near a national park with some good hiking trails.

We both enjoy the outdoors, or at least, I thought we both did. Sarah had always seemed to have a good time on our previous hiking trips. We'd spend our evenings by the campfire, drinking wine and talking for hours under the stars. Those were some of my favorite memories of our relationship, actually. I'd been researching options for months, had a whole folder of bookmarks on my laptop, affordable cabins near Yosemite, guided hiking tours, even a place that would deliver gourmet meal kits to your cabin so we could cook together without having to plan everything ourselves. I was genuinely excited about it, kept dropping little hints about what I was planning,

and Sarah seemed interested, asking questions and appearing to look forward to it. But then, out of nowhere, she came home one day waving a travel magazine, She'd read about some luxury resort in the Caribbean with private plunge pools and personal butlers and God knows what else. Suddenly, that's where we were going, even though it was way over our agreed vacation budget, like, triple what we'd plan to spend. When I reminded her about the outdoor plans I'd been working on for months and gently mentioned the budget issue, she went ballistic. Started yelling that I was being difficult on purpose and trying to deprive her of experiences that everyone else gets to have. said that all our friends got to go on fancy vacations, not true, and that I was embarrassing her by being cheap, also not true, I'm just responsible with our money.

She threw a decorative pillow across the room, knocking over and breaking a picture frame with our wedding photo in it, which felt symbolic, looking back on it now, and declared the outdoor trip wasn't happening. She said she'd booked the fancy hotel herself if I was going to be such a killjoy. Then she slammed our bedroom door so hard a painting, fell off the wall and ignored me for hours. I ended up sleeping on the couch, and when I tried to bring it up the next morning, she acted like nothing had happened. The next day, she booked the resort, putting it on our joint credit card before I could object further. I didn't fight it because, what was the point? She'd already made up her mind, and I knew from experience that

continuing to resist would just lead to days or weeks of tension and passive-aggressive jabs. We went to the fancy hotel. It was nice, I guess, but I couldn't enjoy it knowing what it cost us and how we ended up there. This pattern repeated over and over through our marriage, I'd question or disagree with something, she'd have a dramatic outburst, give me the silent treatment, then do whatever the hell she wanted anyway. I usually just stated my opinion calmly, watched her explode, then ended up going along with her plans because it was easier than dealing with a fallout. Our friends used to joke about how Sarah wore the pants in our relationship. They'd elbow me and say things like, happy wife, happy life, right Mark. And I'd laugh along with them because what else could I do?

Admit that I was afraid of my own wife's temper. That I'd essentially given up trying to be an equal partner in my own marriage because it wasn't worth the emotional warfare. I can see how unhealthy the whole dynamic was, but you know how it is, when you're in it, it just becomes your normal. You adjust, you adapt, you tell yourself every relationship has its quirks. I did love her, and we had good times too. But the constant walking on eggshells, the unpredictable explosions, the feeling that my opinions and preferences always came second. It wore me down over the years. I just didn't realize how much until everything came crashing down. Now for what happened three nights ago, the night that destroyed my marriage, and any illusions I still had about who my wife

really was. We were celebrating our 10th anniversary with about 50 people at this nice event space downtown that we'd rented out for the evening. Sarah had handled most of the planning, which was fine with me. The guest list included our closest friends, several of my coworkers, and Sarah's family, her parents and two younger brothers. My own family lives abroad, my parents' retired. My parents' to Portugal a few years ago, and my sisters in Australia, so they couldn't make it, which now seems like a blessing in disguise. At least they were spared witnessing the shit show in person. The evening had been going well up to that point. The food was great, the bar was open, people were mingling and having a good time. Several guests had given little toasts during

dinner, sharing memories and congratulating us. Sarah seemed happy, was being affectionate with me, holding my hand under the table, leaning into whisper jokes about the speeches. After dinner wrapped up, I was about to go up to this small stage area to thank everyone for coming. I prepared a short speech expressing my gratitude to our guests and saying a few nice things about Sarah and our decade together. But before I could make my way up there, Sarah suddenly walked up on stage with her boss, David. I had no idea he was even coming to the party, he hadn't been on the guest list we discussed. Apparently, he showed up about an hour into the event after Sarah had briefly left and returned with him.

Her family looked surprised to see him too. I caught her dad giving her mom a confused look when David walked in. Sarah grabbed the microphone from the stand, and the room got quiet as people turned to look at her. She had this strange smile on her face, not her usual warm smile but something different, almost triumphant. She started talking about how tonight was a celebration, but not just of our ten years together. It was about a new path for her. I remember feeling a twinge of confusion but assumed she was talking about a job promotion or something. Then, with absolutely no warning, she announced that she was leaving me.

The room went dead silent. Everyone was looking back and forth between us, completely shocked. I felt like someone had just knocked all the air out of my life. lungs. My brain couldn't process what was happening, like the words didn't make sense together. Sarah and leaving me were concepts that couldn't occupy the same space in my universe. I kept thinking there must be some mistake, that I'd misheard, or that this was some kind of bizarre joke. But then she kept going, and it got so much worse. She pointed to David standing beside her, he's about ten years older than us, divorced twice already from what I'd heard, and said she was

leaving me for him because she had found someone better, someone who was truly man enough to give me what I want, which is a baby and building a family. Those words, man enough they cut through me like a knife. We'd been trying for a baby for the last few years without success, and I'd recently found out I had some fertility issues. It was something I was still coming to terms with, something deeply personal that we'd only shared with our closest family members. And there she was, throwing it in my face in front of everyone we knew. She finished by saying, this is happening now. This is my choice, and I am moving forward with it.

In this cold, determined voice I barely recognized. Like she was announcing a business decision instead of blowing up a decade-long marriage. I just stood there, frozen. It felt like I'd been punched in the gut. No, worse, like I'd been hit. by a truck and was somehow still standing. I couldn't breathe. My face felt hot, then cold. The room seemed to tilt and sway around me. I looked around at all these people staring at me with pity and shock. Friends who had just been congratulating us, co-workers who would now have this as

their dominant memory of me, Sarah's family who looked as blindsided as I felt. Then I looked back at Sarah standing proudly next to her fucking boss, this guy who'd been in our home for dinner parties, who'd shake in my hand and look me in the eye while apparently sleeping with my wife behind my back. My mind was racing, trying to piece together when this could have started, how long it had been going on, how I could have missed all the signs. We'd had dinner together just the night before, talking about the party details. She'd kissed me goodbye that morning before work. How do you go from that to publicly humiliating your husband of ten years? What kind of person does that? Before I could even begin to formulate a response, Sarah's father suddenly stood up from

his table. He pointed at Sarah and said, your behavior is shameful, Sarah. The things you are saying about Mark are hurtful and untrue, and doing this in front of everyone is beyond disrespectful. Her mother stood up next and added, We did not raise you to behave this way. We do not support what you are doing, not one bit. But her father wasn't done. He delivered the final blow, because of your actions tonight, the way you've humiliated your husband and yourself, we consider you to have cut yourself off from this family.

We disown you, Sarah. All four of them nodded in agreement and walked out of the venue, not even looking back when Sarah called after them. I've known Sarah's family for over a decade. They're traditional but loving people, big on family loyalty and doing the right thing. I'd never seen them like this, so united in their disgust and disappointment. I think that's when the reality of what was happening truly hit me, if even her own family, who had always supported and loved her unconditionally, were walking away from her over this, then what she'd done was truly beyond the pale. Sarah's clearly hadn't expected that reaction.

She started screaming after them, her voice high-pitched and panicked, though I couldn't make out her exact words over the blood rushing in my ears. David tried to put his hand on her arm in what looked like an attempt to calm her down, but she yanked it away violently. In that moment, she looked completely unhinged, a far cry from the confident woman who had just announced she was leaving me for a better man moments before. I finally snapped out of my shock. A strange calm came over me as I walked up to the stage.

I think it was my brain's way of protecting me, shutting down all emotions so I could function. I kept my voice perfectly level, cold, even, as I looked both of them in the eye and said, You need to leave. Now, I could hear how different my voice sounded, like it belonged to someone else. David, that smug bastard, actually had the audacity to try to. try to smooth things over. He started to say, Mark, we need to talk. But I cut him off mid-sentence. No, we don't, you both need to get the fuck out of here, before I punch your nose in. Right now. I pointed toward the Exeter family had used. Something in my expression must have told them I

wasn't going to say it a third time. They exchanged a look, then moved from the stage to a nearby table where they'd left some personal items. After they left, 50 people, and not a single word being spoken. Just shocked faces staring at me, waiting to see what I would do next. My boss was there with his wife. Some of my oldest friends. People who had known us as a couple for our entire relationship. I felt a responsibility to say something, to somehow provide closure to this absolute train wreck of an evening. I walked back to the stage area. I cleared my throat and said, I think it's clear that the party is over. I'm sorry it had to end this way. My voice cracked a little, but I pushed through it. Thank you all for coming tonight. I appreciate your

support. What else could I say? Surprise, my wife's been cheating on me with her boss, and I found out the same time you did. Or don't worry, I'm I'm only dying inside. There was nothing that could salvage the situation. No words that could make any of us forget what had just happened. People started gathering their things, whispering to each other, giving me these awful looks of pity as they headed for the door. A few of my closer friends came up to me, awkwardly patted my shoulder or gave me brief hugs,

mumbling things like call if you need anything or I'm so sorry. Man. I nodded mechanically, thanked them, but I couldn't really process anything they were saying. It was like I was underwater, everything muffled and distant. Within about 30 minutes, the place was empty except for the venue staff, who were clearly uncomfortable and trying to be as unobtrusive as possible as they started cleaning up. I stayed to help with the initial cleanup, partly because it was in our rental agreement, but mostly because I needed something to do, some normal task to focus on while my brain

tried to catch up with reality. The venue manager kept giving me these sympathetic looks, which somehow made everything worse. I paid the remaining balance we owed, signed whatever paperwork she put in front of me, and finally left. When I got home and walked into our empty house it hit me all over again. Ten years of marriage, gone. I sat on the edge of our bed, the bed we'd shared for a decade, and finally broke down. I don't know how long I sat there. I don't know how long I sat there. I don't know how long I sat there. but eventually, I pulled myself together enough to check my phone. I had a flood of texts from Sarah. Her messages were all over the place, shocked about her family's reaction.

I can't believe they would do this to me, admitting the announcement was a mistake but not backing down on leaving me, I shouldn't have done it that way, but you have to understand I need to move on, suggesting we talk or see a counselor. We should sit down with someone who can help us through this transition, claiming it was a cry for help, without explaining what help she needed or why she'd choose to cry for help by publicly humiliating me, and then somehow trying to blame me for her decision to leave, if you had been more attentive, if you had taken my needs more seriously. It wouldn't have come to this. The messages kept changing in tone and content, like she was desperately throwing everything at

the wall to see what would stick. One minute she was the victim of her cruel family, the next she was magnanimously offering to talk things through with me, then she was the wrong party who had been driven to extreme measures by my failings as a husband. It was classic Sarah, unable to take responsibility for her actions, always looking for a way to spin the narrative so she came out looking better. But this time, there was no spinning it. She'd crossed a line that couldn't be uncrossed. I didn't reply to any of them or answer her calls. I decided contact a divorce lawyer the next morning and made an appointment to start the formal process of ending our marriage. I'm writing this to document what happened, not to ask if what I'm doing is right.

I know what I need to do. I'm just trying to make sense of how my life fell apart so completely in one night. Update, one week later. Thanks for all the comments on my first post. Some of you asked for more details about the party and Sarah's family's reaction, so I'll clarify a few things. The party was held in a private room we rented for the evening. Sarah's parents and brothers had been there from the start, sitting at a reserve table near the stage area. My family couldn't attend because they live overseas.

David, Sarah's boss, wasn't on the guest list. He showed up about an hour in after Sarah had briefly left and returned with him. Her family seemed surprised to see him too, based on their reactions. For those asking about Sarah's exact words, I don't know. I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like, everybody, I have something to tell you. Tonight is not just about being married for ten years. It is about a new path for me. I am leaving Mark.

I am leaving Mark for David, she pointed at him. I found someone who is better for me, someone who is truly man enough to give me what I want, which is a baby and building a family. This is happening now. This is my choice, and I am moving forward. forward with it. My decision to file for divorce immediately was based purely on these facts. She publicly ended our marriage, humiliated me in front of everyone we know, announced she was with another man, and said cruel, untrue things about me. The fact that her own family reacted so strongly and cut ties with her show just how serious and inexcusable her actions were.

Her messages afterward were just damage control, they didn't offer any real explanation or show any genuine remorse. The morning after the party, I met with a divorce lawyer, explained everything that happened, provided the necessary information about our marriage, finances, and assets, and told him to prepare the divorce papers. He filed the petition for dissolution of marriage, which I signed, and had a process server deliver the papers to Sarah at our house, where she was still living at that point. Once Sarah got served, her messages became more frequent and aggressive. She kept demanding I withdraw the divorce petition, claimed I had no right to file for divorce, insisted the party incident was just a mistake that I was blowing out of proportion,

and alternated between threatening me and insulting me. She even had the nerve to say I was trying to ruin her life, as if she hadn't just blown up our marriage in the most public and humiliating way possible. I didn't respond to any of her messages but saved them all and forwarded the threatening ones to my lawyer. I instructed him to tell Sarah's lawyer, yes, she hired one quickly, that all future communication about the divorce had to go through our attorneys. I'm done talking to her directly. So that's where things stand, divorce proceedings have officially begun, we're communicating

only through our lawyers, and I'm trying to pick up the pieces of my life. Update, seven months later. It's been a while since my last update, and a lot has happened. The divorce is now finalized, and I'm finally starting to feel like I can breathe again. After Sarah got served with the divorce papers and hired her own lawyer, she filed her response to the petition for dissolution. In it, she conveniently left out the real reason for our separation, you know, her public announcement and humiliation of me, and had the audacity to request alimony.

Fucking alimony After publicly dumping me for another man and saying I wasn't man. enough to give her a baby. Her request for spousal support was based on income disparity in the length of our marriage, but conveniently ignored the circumstances that led to our separation. It was like she thought she could rewrite history and pretend she was the victim somehow. Around the same time, I started hearing from mutual friends that Sarah was contacting them and spinning a very different version of events, trying to make herself look like the wrong party. The combination of her asking for my money in court while simultaneously trying to damage my reputation was the last straw.

When my lawyer showed me her alimony request, we discussed how courts in our state handle these situations. While judges primarily look at factors like the length of the marriage and income differences, the circumstances of the separation can sometimes be considered too. My lawyer sent a formal letter to Sarah's attorney stating that if she continued pursuing alimony, I would introduce detailed evidence about the circumstances of our separation. This would include sworn statements from me and potentially witness testimonies describing exactly what happened at the anniversary party, her public announcement about leaving me for her boss, the specific words she used to humiliate me, and her family's immediate and harsh reaction,

including their public disownment of her. We didn't make any threats outside the legal process, we simply stated what evidence would be presented in court if she insisted on seeking Alice. It was all above board and by the book. The effect was immediate. Within days, Sarah's lawyer informed mine that she was withdrawing her request for spousal support. They filed the formal paperwork shortly after, officially removing the alimony claim from the

divorce case. I've heard through the grapevine that things haven't gone well for Sarah since that night. About two months after the party, she left, or was fired from, her job at the company where David was her boss. Apparently, she hasn't been able to find comparable work since then. Her financial situation took a nosedive, and she ended up having to move in with one of her cousins because she couldn't afford her own place. Her family has maintained their position and hasn't reconciled with her since the anniversary party, which limited her support network. So here's how everything played out in sequence. Sarah publicly ended our marriage at our

anniversary party, her family disowned her on the spot, I filed for divorce the next day, she demanded alimony, I threatened to provide detailed evidence about her behavior, she withdrew the alimony request, she lost her job. And she had to move in with a relative due to financial hardship. The divorce is now final. We reached an agreement on dividing our assets, which was relatively straightforward given our finances, and the court issued the decree dissolving our marriage. Sarah no longer works at her previous job, isn't receiving any support for me, and is living with her cousin. Her current situation is drastically different from where she was before all this went down. We have no direct contact anymore, everything goes through our lawyers

if needed, which is rare now that the divorce is finalized. As far as I know, her family hasn't changed their stance and still isn't speaking to her. I won't be posting any more updates of about this situation. It's over, and I'm finally starting to move forward with my life. The past seven months have been the hardest of my life. For those wondering about David, apparently, he and Sarah didn't last long after her dramatic declaration of love. I heard they broke up around the same time she left the company, but I don't know the details, and frankly, I don't care. I want to thank everyone who offered support and advice through this nightmare. Your comments helped me stay strong when I was tempted to cave to Sarah's

demands just to make the pain stop. I'm in a much better place now, and I'm looking forward to whatever comes next. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse engaged in infidelity and proposed a polyamorous relationship to continue the affair, so I went along with it while gathering proof of her failure to care for our kids. And filing for divorce and custody. Hello everyone. I'm using a throwaway account for obvious reasons. My name isn't really Mark, but it will do for this. I'm 35 years old. My wife, who I'll call Sarah, is 33.

We have been married for 10 years, and together for 12. We have two children, a daughter, Lily, who is 8, and a son, Tom, who is 6. I am writing this, I think, to try and impose some order on the chaos that has erupted in my life over the past 48 hours. Perhaps writing it to strangers will provide some clarity, or at least a sounding board. My professional life for the past 12 years has been as a senior project manager with a large commercial construction firm. The projects are complex, high value, and invariably operate under tight deadlines.

This translates into long hours. A typical day is 10 to 12 hours at the site or office, and it's not uncommon for that to extend to 14 or 15 hours when we are pushing for a phase completion or dealing with unexpected crises, which are frequent in this line of work. Weekend work, at least a Saturday morning, is more often the rule than the exception. It's a demanding career, no doubt, but it's one that has allowed us to live comfortably, purchase a nice home and a good school district, and afford Sarah the opportunity to not be financially burdened by the need to work. Before we had children, Sarah worked as a freelance graphic designer.

She was talented and had a modest client base. When Lily was born, we had many discussions about child care and careers. Sarah expressed a strong desire to be a stay-at-home mother, at least during the children's early years. I supported this choice, my income was sufficient, and we both agreed that having one parent consistently present was beneficial. She officially stopped taking on new clients about six months after Lily was born and has since identified primarily as a homemaker, though she would occasionally do small design projects for friends or local community groups. More as a hobby than for income. Our early family life was, I believed, quite stable.

I handled my demanding work schedule, and she managed the household and the children's daily lives. When I was home, I tried to be present, dealing with bath times, bedtime stories, and weekend activities when work didn't intervene. The shift began subtly around eight or nine months ago. Sarah started talking about wanting more of a social life, feeling a bit isolated. Her friend, Jessica, who she's known since college, started organizing girls' nights out. Initially, it was once a month, perhaps dinner, or a movie. I was fully supportive. I thought it was healthy for her.

I would take over child care completely on those evenings. Over time, the frequency increased. Once a month became every other Friday. Then, for the last three months, it became almost every Friday and sometimes a Saturday afternoon or evening as well. The composition of the group also seemed to evolve. Jessica was mentioned less, and newer names I didn't recognize starting. to pop up. Her behavior at home also began to change, though it was like a slow tide, easy to miss on a day-to-day basis. She became more engrossed in her phone, often smiling or

quickly typing replies, but if I inquired, the answers were vague, just a funny group chat thing, or planning the next outing. She began to invest more in her appearance for these nights out, new clothes, more time spent on hair and makeup. Again, I rationalized this as her injunction. She enjoying her social life. The first concrete alarm bell, though small, was about two months ago when she put a new, complex password on her phone. We had never had passwords that the other didn't know, not out of a policy of checking up on each other, but simply as a matter of convenience and openness. When I asked about it, she brushed it off, saying her phone software updated and prompted her to use a more secure lock. It felt a little off, but I didn't push.

Then, about three weeks ago, I was reconciling our joint account for some work-related expense claims. I noticed a series of charges at a cocktail bar called Crimson Lounge, fake name, a place I'd never heard her mention, and definitely not the kind of place her old friend Jessica would frequent. There were four such charges over a six-week period, always on a Friday or Saturday night. Alongside these were Uber receipts for rides to and from an address in a trendy, but somewhat remote, part of the city, an area she had no other plausible reason to visit, particularly late in the evening. The amounts weren't huge, but the pattern was distinct from her usual

expenditures. I made a mental note, a growing sense of unease starting to solidify, but I was in the midst of a critical project deadline, working almost around the clock, and I suppose I pushed the immediate confrontation down. The situation culminated two nights ago. It was a Friday. Sarah had gone out for another girl's night. She arrived home around 3 a.m. I was in bed, feigning sleep, but I was wide awake. Work stress was a part of it, but the primary reason was this gnawing anxiety that had been building for weeks. She was noticeably tipsy, humming to herself as she got ready for bed.

She placed her phone on her nightstand, screen up. A few moments later, it buzzed with a notification. I glanced over. The screen was lit and a message preview was visible. It was from a contact named David H., and the visible text read, Tonight was incredible. Can't stop thinking about you. I didn't shout. I didn't even raise my voice.

I just lay there for a moment, the words burning into my mind. Then I asked, quite calmly, Sarah, who is David H? She physically jumped, startled. She turned to look at me, the color instantly drained from her face. Her first reaction was denial. She stammered, David. Oh, he's just a friend of Stephanes, from the group. He sometimes joins us.

I replied, equally calmly, I saw the message, Sarah. Tonight was incredible. Can't stop thinking about you. That doesn't sound. like a casual acquaintance from a group outing. That's when the facade shattered. She sat on the edge of the bed, turned away from me, and started to sob. The confession came out in broken pieces, a torrent of tears, apologies, and justifications. She had been having an affair with this man, David, for the past four months. He was someone she met at the Crimson

Lounge during one of her nights out, a night when, apparently, her girlfriends were not present. Some of those subsequent girls' nights had been exclusively with him. She spoke of feeling lonely due to my long work hours, of feeling unseen and unappreciated. She said David paid her attention, made her feel alive and vibrant again. She repeated over and over that it was a horrible mistake, that she loved me, that she didn't want to destroy our family, our life together. I listened in silence for the most part. Our children were sleeping peacefully in their room.

rooms, completely unaware that their world was fracturing. I didn't touch her. I didn't say much beyond asking a few clarifying questions about the timeline. Yesterday morning, after an entirely sleepless night spent in separate rooms, I moved to the guest room, the apologies continued. She looked terrible, her eyes red and swollen. She kept saying she would do anything to fix it. And then, in the midst of this supposed contrition, she proposed her solution. She asked, her voice trembling but with an undertone of desperate hope, if we could consider an open marriage. She argued that her feelings for David were real and significant, but that she also loved me and wanted to keep our family intact.

An open marriage, she suggested, would allow her to continue her relationship with David honestly, and I would be free to pursue other connections too, if I desired. She framed it as a progressive, mature way to handle a complex emotional situation, a path to avoid the destructive route of divorce. I was speechless. It felt as if she was asking for my permission to continue her affair, to formalize it, to somehow absorb this other man into the fabric of our lives. I told her I needed time. I couldn't give her an answer. So, here I am now, in my small home office, the door closed.

Lily and Tom are watching Saturday morning cartoons downstairs. Sarah is moving around in the kitchen, her presence a constant, heavy weight. She's trying to act normal for the children, but it's a very thin veneer. My mind is racing. What are the implications? How do I even begin to address this? My immediate, visceral reaction to the open marriage idea is revulsion, but I am also trying to think strategically. What if saying no outright leads to her leaving immediately?

What about the children? My priority has to be their stability and well-being. I work punishing hours. How would I manage as a single father? The thought is overwhelming. Has anyone ever been presented with such a scenario? An affair, followed not just by a confession, but by a request to integrate the affair partner into the marriage structure.

What are the first steps I should take? Update 1, it has been three weeks since I shared my initial situation here. The outpouring of comments, advice, and private messages was overwhelming, and I want to express my sincere gratitude. Reading through so many different perspectives, some harsh, some empathetic, some brutally practical, helped me cut through the initial fog of shock and pain. It made me realize that while my specific circumstances felt unique, and isolating, the underlying themes of betrayal and difficult choices are unfortunately common. Several recurring questions and points for clarification came up, so I'll address those first.

Many asked if there were prior signs of unhappiness from Sarah or if we had considered therapy before this. Looking back, her increased desire for girls' nights and some general comments about feeling stuck in a rut could be interpreted as signs. However, she never communicated deep dissatisfaction or loneliness to me directly in a way that suggested our marriage was in serious trouble. Whenever I asked if everything was okay, or if she wanted to talk, she would usually say she was just tired or stressed from the kids. We had not considered therapy, I genuinely believed, perhaps naively, that we had a fundamentally strong, if sometimes stressed, marriage. Her apology, as I mentioned, was filled with tears and self-recrimination, but its proximity to the

open marriage proposal retrospectively tainted its sincerity for me. It began to feel less like true remorse for the betrayal and more like regret for getting caught, followed by a quick pivot to her desired outcome, keeping her a fair partner without losing the stability of her marriage and family. She described her feelings for David as something that had taken her by surprise and that she was terribly conflicted. Believing an open arrangement was the only path that didn't involve shattering everyone's lives. The most consistent piece of advice, and the one that resonated most strongly with my need for concrete action, was to consult with a lawyer.

I scheduled an appointment within two days of my original post. I found a reputable family law attorney through a bar association referral. That one-hour consultation was possibly the most clarifying and empowering hour I've had in months. The lawyer was direct, professional, and explained. the legal landscape of divorce, custody, and financial settlements in our state. She advised me, irrespective of any reconciliation attempts, to begin meticulously documenting everything. Sarah's behavior, my involvement with the children, financial expenditures, and any communication

regarding her affair or the open marriage proposal. She explained that such documentation could be vital in protecting my interests and, crucially, the children's interests, should divorce become the path forward. She also discussed the potential implications of an open marriage agreement on divorce proceedings, noting it could complicate matters but that evidence of pre-existing infidelity and current conduct would still be highly relevant. After that meeting, and after day spent rereading comments here and thinking through the wreckage of my marriage, I arrived at a difficult decision. The notion of an open marriage, particularly one initiated by infidelity and so clearly waited in Sarah's favor, was something I could not.

genuinely accept. However, an immediate, aggressive confrontation or outright rejection of her proposal also felt risky. I worried she might become more secretive, or that it could trigger a rash decision on her part that would negatively impact the children before I was prepared. So, I formulated a plan, a strategy that my lawyer acknowledged as a reasonable, if emotionally taxing, approach in the short term. One, I informed Sarah that I was willing to consider her open marriage proposal. I chose my words carefully. I did not say I agreed. I expressed that it was a radical idea, that I was still processing the affair, and that if we were to even begin to explore such a path, it would require immense effort, professional guidance, and absolute transparency from

her. I told her I would need time to think, to research, and to see if I could even entertain such a concept. I suggested that a prerequisite would be her telling me everything about David, their relationship, and her expectations. I also floated the idea of us seeking couples counseling specifically to navigate this, knowing full well this was a delaying tactic on my part. The primary goal here was not to save the marriage via this route, but to buy myself time, to prevent her from digging in her heels or trying to hide her actions further, and to allow me to begin my own preparations. Two, acting on my lawyer's strong recommendation, I hired a licensed and reputable private investigation

firm. This was a significant step, and not one I took lightly, but I understood its necessity. Their brief was to discreetly document Sarah's activities, specifically her meetings and interactions with David, her time spent away from home, particularly when she was supposed to be caring for the children. and any general conduct that could be construed as neglect of her parental responsibilities or misuse of marital assets. They began their work approximately two weeks ago. The cost is considerable, but I view it as an investment in securing a fair outcome for myself and my children.

Three, I have become incredibly diligent about documentation. I started a secure digital journal, password protected and backed up. In it, I log daily entry. Sarah's comings and goings, the explanations she offers, her level of engagement with the children, her moods, any significant conversations, paraphrased as accurately as possible, and copies of texts or emails related to her affair or plans with David. I also track my own activities, particularly everything I do for and with the children. Concurrently, I have made substantial, visible changes to my own schedule to assume the role

of primary caregiver. This was the most challenging logistically. I had several frank discussions with my direct supervisor in HR department, explaining that I was dealing with a serious family matter requiring me to have more predictable hours and less travel for the foreseeable future. I didn't disclose the specifics of the affair, but emphasized the need to be the stable parent for my children. They were surprisingly understanding and have allowed me some flexibility, which involves me working intensely focused hours while at work and then continuing remotely late into the night after the children are asleep. I now handle all morning routines for Lily and Tom, breakfast, getting them ready, the school run. I pick them up from school or after school activities.

I attend every school meeting, every doctor's appointment. I cook their dinners, help with homework, and manage their bedtime routines. This shift is not solely for legal leverage. My children are my absolute priority, and they need consistency and a present parent more than ever. 4. As advised by my lawyer, I've also taken steps to fully understand and secure our financial situation. I've gathered copies of all bank statements, investment records, credit card bills, tax returns, and property deeds for the past five years. I consulted with a financial advisor independently to understand my own financial standing and to play plan for potential future scenarios. I opened a separate bank account in my own name for my salary deposits moving forward, though I continue to contribute to joint household expenses from our

existing joint account, monitoring it closely for any unusual withdrawals by Sarah. Sarah's reaction to my statement that I would consider her proposal was one of relief. It was as if a massive weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She genuinely seems to believe that I am open to this idea in our lives. As a result, she has become startlingly open about her ongoing relationship with David. She will casually mention, oh, David and I are planning to try that new XYZ place on Friday, or David had a really stressful day at his office. Hearing his name, spoken so freely in our home, is a constant, jarring reminder of the situation. It takes a significant amount of self-control to maintain a neutral expression.

She has made no substantive moves towards the transparency or trust building I mentioned as conditions. Her version of transparency is simply informing me of her plans with him, seemingly expecting my approval. The private investigator has already provided several updates. They are professionals and have been discreet. Their initial reports confirm frequent meetings between Sarah and David, both during daytime hours when she is ostensibly running errands. They have photographic evidence of them together at restaurants, parks, and entering and leaving a specific apartment building, which they believe to be David's residence. More concerningly, they have documented two instances in the past week where Sarah delegated childcare to a hastily arranged babysitter, once for Tom's after-school soccer practice pickup and once for an evening when she told me she was going for an errand, while she was observed meeting David. These instances are being meticulously recorded.

My increased involvement with Lily and Tom has been the one genuinely positive development in this mess. They have responded well to the consistency and my focused attention. Lily, who is quite perceptive, has commented a few times, Mommy goes out a lot now, and you pick us up from school all the time, Daddy, I like that. I've kept my answers vague and reassuring, avoiding any negative comments about Sarah. The truth is, it's exhausting. I am essentially functioning as a full-time single parent while juggling a high-pressure job and the immense emotional strain of this duplicitous existence. Sleep is a luxury. The atmosphere within our home is deeply surreal. We are roommates who share children in a history.

Sarah is often buoyant, almost cheerful, seemingly unburdened now that her secret is out and she believes a path has been cleared for her to have what she wants. She makes small talk about groceries or school notices. There are no meaningful conversations about our marriage, our past, or our future, beyond her occasional optimistic remarks about how people make all sorts of arrangements work these days. My lawyer is satisfied with the direction we are taking and the quality of the information being gathered. He has stressed that demonstrating a consistent pattern of my being the primary caregiver, coupled with evidence of Sarah's ongoing affair and any associated name, or financial impropriety, will significantly strengthen my position should this proceed to a contested divorce, particularly concerning child custody and spousal support claims. How long I can sustain this tightrope walk, I do not know. Each day is a performance.

But for now, this is the strategy. The objective is clear, to protect my children, secure their future, and ensure that if our marriage is to end, it ends on terms that are fair and reflective of the reality of Sarah's choices, not her idealized version of an open life built on my silent suffering. Thank you once more for the space to write this. I anticipate a long road ahead and will update again when there are substantial developments. Update 2, final update, it has been 14 months since my original post, which feels like a lifetime ago, and approximately 13 months since I provided my first update. The journey since then has been full of difficulties, but it has reached its legal conclusion, and I believe it's appropriate to share the final outcomes,

both for my own sense of closure and for those who invested their time and thoughts in my situation. The three months following my last update were perhaps the most challenging phase of this entire ordeal. I continued the charade of considering Sarah's open marriage proposal while living under the same roof. The private investigators' work continued, yielding a comprehensive portfolio of Sarah's activities. Her involvement with David didn't just continue, it intensified. She became bolder, often staying out late on weeknights, citing various social engagements or freelance work that the Pies reports consistently revealed were rendezvous with David. There were documented weekend afternoon spent at his apartment, and even a two-day wellness retreat she claimed to be

attending with a girlfriend, which the Pye confirmed was a trip taken with David to a nearby resort town. During this period, my role as the de facto sole functioning parent for Lily and Tom became more and more. I managed every aspect of their lives, school schedules, homework, meals, doctor visits, playdates, and emotional support. Sarah's engagement with them dwindled to perfunctory interactions. She was often distracted, on her phone, or simply absent. For instance, Lily had a leading role in her school play, an event we had marked on the calendar for months. Two days before, Sarah announced she had an unavoidable work commitment that evening. The pie later confirmed she was having dinner with David.

I recorded her absence, along with Lily's quiet disappointment. There were numerous such instances, each one a painful piece of evidence, not just for legal purposes, but of her escalating detachment from her family. The emotional toll on me was immense. Maintaining a calm, composed exterior for the children and a neutral, considering facade for Sarah, while internally processing the daily reports from the pie and managing my own grief and anger, was draining. Sleep was minimal, and stress was a constant companion. The decision to file for divorce was made in consultation with my lawyer after nearly five months

of this. We had a substantial body of evidence, detailed timeline. photographs and video evidence from the pie, financial records showing her spending on David. Including cash withdrawals before her outings and charges for gifts and meals I could tie to their meetings and my own exhaustive log of her parental absenteeism versus my full-time caregiving. My lawyer was confident we had a very strong case, not just for divorce on grounds of adultery, but for securing primary custody and arguing against significant spousal support due to her conduct. The logistics of filing were carefully planned.

I secured a new lease on a house in the same school district to minimize disruption for Lily and Tom. On the day of filing, while Sarah was out, reportedly at a yoga workshop, which the Pye confirmed was an afternoon at Davids, I moved the children and are essential belongings to the new residents. Sarah was served with divorce papers and a motion for temporary primary custody that evening upon her return to a nearly empty house. Her reaction, as relayed to me later through legal channels, I initiated a strict no-direct contact policy, with all communication to go through lawyers or a court-mandated co-parenting app for child-related logistics only, was one of utter shock, followed by intense anger and accusations of betrayal.

She had genuinely believed I was slowly coming to terms with her vision of an open marriage. The revelation that my consideration had been a calculated strategy to gather evidence against her was, by all accounts, a devastating blow to her narrative. The divorce proceedings were contested, though not as protracted as they might have been, thanks to the sheer weight of our evidence. Sarah, through her legal counsel, initially pushed back hard. She sought joint physical and legal custody, significant spousal support citing her years as a stay-at-home mother, and a larger share of the marital assets. Her lawyer attempted to discredit the Pye's evidence as an invasion of privacy and painted me as vindictive. We had several hearings before a judge.

My lawyer presented our case. The Pai's testimony, supported by his detailed reports and visual evidence, was compelling and irrefutable. My daily logs, cross-referenced with school attendance records, doctors visit confirmations, all showing me as the attending parent, and receipts for children's expenses, painted a clear picture of primary caregiving. We demonstrated not just the affair, but a consistent pattern of Sarah prioritizing her relationship with David over the needs and well-being of Lily and Tom. The evidence of her spending marital funds on David, though not astronomical, further supported our claims. There were tense moments, especially during cross-examinations, but the facts were stark. Sarah's attempts to justify her absences

or reframe her relationship with David fell flat against the documented reality. Mediation was attempted but failed quickly, as Sarah was unwilling to move significantly from her initial demands. The judge's final ruling, delivered approximately two to three months ago after a final hearing, was comprehensive. One, I was awarded sole legal custody, final decision-making authority, and primary physical custody of Lily and Tom. The judge's summary explicitly noted the extensive evidence demonstrating my role as the consistent and stable primary caregiver for a prolonged period, contrasting it with Sarah's demonstrated lack of judgment and prioritization of her own personal pursuits over the fundamental needs of her children.

2. Sarah was granted a step-up visitation schedule. Initially, it was alternate weekends from Friday evening to Sunday evening, and one four-hour midweek evening visit, which for the first three months was to be professionally supervised at her expense. The supervision was mandated due to the judges stated concerns about her recent pattern of disengagement and the need to ensure a child-focused environment during her parenting time. After three months of compliance supervised visits, the supervision was lifted. All exchanges of the children were to occur at a neutral public location or be facilitated by a mutually agreed upon third party to minimize direct contact between Sarah and me.

Three, Sarah had requested spousal support equivalent to 40% of my net income for a period of 10 years. Her lawyer argued this was justified by her long absence from the workforce to raise children. My lawyer countered by presenting evidence of her graphic design skills, albeit rarely used, her relatively young age and employability, the short duration for which she had been a full-time psalm before her attention significantly shifted, and critically, her conduct. The judge awarded Sarah transitional alimony for a period of only 18 months, at an amount significant lower than requested, roughly 15% of what she had asked for. The judge stated that while her time as a homemaker was a factor, her abrogation of

parental responsibilities and the nature of the marital breakdown, including the financial indiscretions related to the affair, directly impacted the duration of the award. He essentially found that she had diminished her own claim through her actions. 4. Marital assets were divided largely according to state guidelines, but the judge did make an adjustment in my favor to account for the marital fund Sarah had verifiably spent on her relationship with David, trips, expensive dinners, gifts. This wasn't a large sum in the grand scheme of things, but it was an acknowledgement of the financial impact of her affair. The marital home was ordered to be sold, and the equity divided after these adjustments.

I used my share to secure the down payment on my current house and establish a stable financial base for myself and the children. From what I gathered, rather through the co-parenting app, which is strictly for logistics, and occasionally for neutral third-party acquaintances. Sarah moved in with David shortly after the divorce was finalized and she had to vacate the sold marital home. They live in an apartment. Her financial reality is reportedly starkly different from what she was accustomed to. The transitional alimony is minimal, and David's income, combined with whatever sporadic freelance work Sarah might be undertaking, appears insufficient to maintain anything close to her former lifestyle.

The initial romance and excitement of their relationship is now, by some accounts, facing the mundane pressures of cohabitation, financial constraints, and the consequences of her choices regarding the children. Her visitation with Lily and Tom is consistent with the court order. The interactions during handovers, which I now have my sister or a trusted friend handle to avoid direct contact, are described as polite but strained. The children are civil with her, but their primary bond and sense of security are clearly with me. Life for Lily, Tom, and me has settled into a new, stable normal. The house, while smaller than our previous house, has become a warm and happy home. My work situation has evolved. I leverage the crisis to negotiate a role

with more manageable hours and significantly less travel, allowing me to be a truly present father. It meant a slight reduction in pay and perhaps a slower career trajectory, but the trade-off for my children's well-being is one I make every time. They are thriving. They are doing well in school, have a good circle of friends, and while the divorce was undoubtedly a difficult experience for them, they have shown incredible resilience. Our bonds are stronger than ever. I want to thank this community again. This will be my final post on this chapter of my life. My focus is now entirely on the future, on raising my children, and on building a new life with them. You. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse erased all the data on my computer from the past two years of content

creation on a video sharing platform in order to elicit an emotional response for me following the death of our pet, as she believed I was not displaying enough emotions. Immediately. immediately decided to leave her. Hello everyone. I am using an alternate account for privacy. I am a 35-year-old man, let's call myself Alex. My wife, Carmilla, is 33. We have been married for five years, together for eight.

Until recently, I thought we had a stable, if sometimes quiet, life. The main subject of this, in an indirect way, was our dog, Buddy. Buddy was a Labrador mix, and I had him for about 14 years. He was with me before Carmilla and I even met. He was an old dog, quiet, and a constant presence in my life and later, in hours. Carmilla also grew to love him, though he was always my dog in a way. Outside of my professional life, I have a significant hobby, a YouTube channel. It's not something that makes a lot of money, not yet anyway, but it's a serious passion.

I create detailed video essays on retro video game history and preservation. This involves a lot of research, scriptwriting, capturing footage from original hardware, editing, and voiceover work. The hard drive Carmilla wiped contained about two solid years of ongoing projects, archived material, raw footage, edited videos, and all my planning documents. Some of it was backed up rarely, but a vast amount of recent, irreplaceable work from the last several months, including a nearly completed major project, was only on that primary drive. I am not someone who expresses emotions in a very outward or loud way. I tend to process things internally.

This is relevant. Buddy's health had been declining for the better part of a year. It started with him slowing down, then arthritis became more severe. There were multiple vet visits, medications, special diets. I handled most of the logistics of his care, researching treatments, managing his medication schedule, and modifying our home to make him more comfortable. Carmilla was often visibly upset during this period, frequently tearful when looking at Buddy or after vet visits. I was, of course, deeply saddened by his decline, but my focus was on his comfort and managing

his pain. About three weeks ago, after a particularly difficult night for Buddy, the vet confirmed what we both knew was coming. His quality of life was severely compromised, and there was little more that could be done to alleviate his suffering. We made the joint decision to euthanize him. I made the appointment for the following afternoon. Carmilla was very emotional, crying on and off leading up to it.

I focused on making buddies last day as comfortable as possible, giving him his favorite treats and spending quiet time with him. At the veterinary clinic, the staff were compassionate. Carmilla was openly sobbing throughout the procedure. I was there, petting Buddy, speaking to him softly as he went to sleep. I felt a profound sense of loss, a quiet devastation. But I did not cry. I did not weep or break down.

I stayed composed. After the vet confirmed Buddy had passed, I arranged for his cremation and for his ashes to be return to us. The car ride home was tense. Carmilla was still crying, but then she turned to me and asked how I could just sit there and not shed a tear. She said it was like it didn't even affect me. I tried to explain that I was affected, very much so, but I just processed grief differently, that my sadness wasn't for public display. She didn't seem to accept this. Over the next week, the atmosphere at home became increasingly strained. Carmilla was distant, sometimes making barbed comments about my apparent lack of feeling.

She said things like, you're like a machine sometimes, or it's like nothing can touch you. I reiterated that I was grieving, but it wasn't a performance. I was trying to give her space for her own grief, assuming she needed it. I focused on work and my YouTube projects, partly as a coping moment. mechanism, partly because I had deadlines I had set for myself. The core incident happened last Tuesday, about ten days after we put Buddy down. I came home for my job. Carmilla was waiting in the living room.

She had an unusual, almost challenging look on her face. She started by saying she had been very worried about me, that my reaction to Buddy's passing wasn't normal, that it wasn't human to not cry in that situation. She said she felt like she didn't know who I was anymore. Then, she told me she had done something. She gestured towards my office. She said she needed to see me feel something, genuinely break down and show emotion. She then stated, quite plainly, that she had wiped my primary YouTube project hard drive.

This drive contained, as I mentioned, two years of meticulous work. Hundreds, if not thousands, of a hard drive. hours. She said something to the effect of, I just wanted to see you break down. I needed to see that you could feel loss. It's healthy for you to finally show some emotion. I remember just staring at her. I walked into my office, turned on my computer, and accessed the drive. It was completely empty. Formatted. Two years of work, just gone. The raw footage for my current series, timelines, the research notes, scripts, assets, everything. My most recent comprehensive backup was, to my horror, about four months old, meaning the last four months of intensive work, including

an almost finished 40-minute documentary video, were totally and utterly gone. My reaction was not what she seemed to expect. I didn't cry or scream. I felt a cold, sickening wave wash over me. It was a feeling of profound betrayal, and violation. This wasn't just data. It was my time, my passion, my creation. She had intentionally destroyed something incredibly important to me, something she knew was important, to provoke a specific reaction for me, to fix what she perceived as my emotional failing. I turned to her. I don't recall my exact words, but I told her that her actions were stupid and that I couldn't comprehend why she would do such a thing. She started to look a bit uncertain then, perhaps realizing she had miscalculated.

She began to say something about just wanting me to be okay, to connect with my emotions. I didn't engage further. I went to our bedroom and packed a small suitcase with clothes and essentials. Carmilla followed me, starting to sound panicked. She said she didn't realize, she was just so upset about Buddy and me, and she thought if I could just cry, everything would be better. The excuses fell hollow and self-serving. I told her that I could not stay in the same house with her. I walked out, got in my car, and drove to a nearby hotel. I have been there since. The next morning, Wednesday, I contacted a divorced lawyer and had an initial consultation. I explained the situation. The lawyer was, to put it mildly,

dumbfounded by the specifics. I have initiated proceedings. I sent Carmilla a brief text message stating that I had left, was safe, had consulted legal counsel, and that any further communication should be through them for the time being. This brings me to the present. It has been just over a week since I left. Carmilla has been bombarding my phone with calls and texts, which I have largely ignored. She has also tried to reach me through my sister and a couple of mutual friends. They have relayed that she is distraught and remorseful. Yesterday, my sister passed on a long, handwritten letter from Carmilla. In it, Carmilla states that she understands now the magnitude of what she did. She wrote that her actions stemmed from her own deep-seated insecurities and a warped perception of my grief,

or lack thereof in her eyes. She said she felt that if I didn't mourn Buddy in a way she understood, it meant I didn't truly love him, or by extension, her. She claims the act of destroying my drive was a desperate, misguided attempt to force an emotional connection she felt was missing, born out of her own fear and grief. She states she has already sought out and had an initial session with a therapist. She is begging me to pause the divorce proceedings and attend marriage counseling with her. She says she will do anything to earn back my trust, though she acknowledges it might be impossible. I am still reeling from the betrayal.

The destruction of my work is one thing, the mindset behind it is another. To intentionally hurt someone to elicit a desired emotional response feels manipulative and cruel on a level I am struggling to process. The lawyer has advised that from a legal standpoint, this act of destruction could be considered a dissipation of assets, though the value of a passion project is hard to quantify in those terms. It's more about the intent than the violation. However, she is my wife. We have built a life together over eight years. Before this, I would never have imagined her capable of such an act.

Is it possible that grief and insecurity could lead someone to do something so out of character? Her letter seems to express genuine remorse, and she has taken the step of seeking therapy on her own. So, my question is, am I completely out of my mind? mind to even consider pausing the divorce and attempting marriage counseling? Or is this act so egregious that ending the marriage is the only rational response? I need some outside perspective, update one. First, I want to extend my gratitude to everyone who took the time to read my original post and offer their perspectives.

The opinions were varied, ranging from immediate and unequivocal divorce to consideration of counseling, with many falling somewhere in between. Your input has been valuable as I navigate this. I need to clarify a few points that came up frequently in the comments, as my initial post was written while I was still in a state of shock and perhaps didn't cover everything adequately. One, many asked about the nature and significance of the channel and the lost data. It wasn't just a casual hobby. While it wasn't my primary source of income, I had a small but dedicated viewership, around 15K

subscribers, and I was beginning to monetize it modestly. More importantly, it was a significant creative outlet and something I poured countless hours into for the sheer passion of it. As mentioned, I had a backup, but it was from early July. The period between July and October was intensely productive. I had completed principal recording and rough assembly of a major two-part documentary series I'd been working on for over a year, plus several shorter videos. All the unique footage captured, the project files, updated scripts, and specific assets for these, that's what's gone. The estimate of two years of work refers to the foundational material on the drive, but the most acute loss is those four months of concentrated recent progress.

Some asked if data recovery was possible. I consulted a specialist, given it was a standard format and not a physically damaged drive, the chances of recovering anything meaningful are virtually nil. Two, I am not devoid of emotion. I feel things deeply. However, my expression of grief, or indeed many strong emotions, tends to be quiet and internal. When Buddy passed, I was heartbroken. He was my companion for nearly half my life. My way of honoring him was to ensure his passing was peaceful and to remember him fondly, not through outward displays of sorrow. Carmilla has known me for eight years, my more stoic nature isn't new to her, though perhaps she never fully understood or accepted it, especially under the duress of her own grief.

Three, a number of commenters asked if there were prior red flags or similar behaviors from Carmilla. Honestly, no. Nothing on this scale, or even remotely pointing to this kind of destructive or manipulative act. There were typical marital disagreements, moments of her feeling insecure or needing reassurance, but never an instance of her deliberately sabotaging something of mine or acting with such calculated cruelty. This is what made the incident so profoundly shocking and disorienting. After posting and reading many of the responses, I spend a lot of time thinking. The anger and sense of betrayal are still very much present. Many comments validated my initial instinct to proceed with the divorce, highlighting the severity of the trust violation.

Others suggested that if Carmilla's remorse was genuine and she was truly committed to therapy and understanding her actions, counseling might offer a path to understanding, even if not to reconciliation. My lawyer had already filed the initial divorce papers. Carmilla was served shortly after my original post. This, I believe, further underscored the seriousness of the situation for her. I decided that before making an irrevocable decision to finalize the divorce without any further discussion, I would meet with Carmilla. I needed to see her, to hear her in person, away from the filter of texts or letters. I agreed to meet her last week. I made it clear this was not a reconciliation meeting, but a chance for me to listen before deciding on my next steps regarding the counseling she requested.

When we met, Carmilla was visibly distressed. She didn't try to make excuses for what she did. She reiterated much of what was in her letter, that her grief over Buddy, combined with her interpretation of my stoicism as a lack of love or care, had caused her to act out of a place of profound fear and insecurity. She said she felt like she was losing me, that I was emotionally inaccessible, and in a twisted way, she thought that by forcing a strong emotional reaction, any reaction, it would somehow bridged that perceived gap or prove I still cared.

She spoke about her first few therapy sessions and how she was beginning to explore these insecurities and her dysfunctional coping mechanisms. She showed me appointment cards for future therapy sessions. She cried, apologized repeatedly, and said she understood if I could never forgive her, but pleaded for a chance to try and repair the damage through joint counseling. She explicitly stated she knew she couldn't undo the destruction of my work, and that it was a horrendous thing to do. I listened without saying much for a long time.

Then, I laid out my position. I told her that trust, once shattered to this degree, is not easily, if ever, fully restored. I explained the depth of the violation, not just of my work, but of my personal boundaries and her role as my partner. I told her that even if we were to attempt counseling, the divorce proceedings would remain active, merely paused.

I would not be moving back into the house at this time. I then stated my conditions if I were to agree to counseling. 1. She must continue her individual therapy without fail. 2. We would select a marriage counselor together, with a focus on one specializing in issues of trust and communication. I would a final say if agreement couldn't be reached. 3. There were to be no expectations of immediate forgiveness or a return to normalcy. This would be a long, arduous process with no guaranteed outcome. 4. I would need to see consistent, demonstrable change in her behavior, understanding, and accountability.

Any pressure or attempt to rush the process would result in me immediately reactivating the divorce proceedings. 5. We would need to establish clear boundaries regarding personal space, projects, and emotional expression. I made it clear that my willingness to even try counseling was contingent on her absolute adherence to these terms, and that I was entering this with extreme skepticism. I also told her that the YouTube project, as it was, is dead to me for now. The thought of trying to rebuild it fills me with a sense of weariness tied to this event. Carmilla agreed to every condition without hesitation. She appeared to understand the gravity of the situation and the tenuousness of this chance. She thanked me for being willing to even consider it.

So, that's where we are. I have instructed my lawyer to put the divorce proceedings on hold, pending the outcome of a serious attempt at marriage counseling. We have a list of potential therapists we are reviewing. It feels more like choosing the slightly less terrible path of two very difficult options. There's a part of me that believes this is a monumental mistake, but another part that feels I owe it to the eight years we had before this. to at least explore if there's anything salvageable, especially given her immediate pursuit of therapy and expressed remorse. I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing, Update 2. It has been roughly six months since my last update, which I now refer to internally as D-Day. I felt it was appropriate

to provide an update on the situation, as many people invested their time and thoughts into my original posts. A lot has happened, yet in some ways, it feels like we've only just begun a very long journey. As I mentioned in my last update, Carmilla and I agreed to try marriage counseling, and she was to continue her individual therapy. Both of these things have been happening consistently. We found a marriage counselor who specializes in relational trauma and communication breakdowns. The sessions, both joint and occasionally individual, as recommended by the counselor to work through specific points to bring back to joint sessions, have been incredibly challenging. There are no gentle euphemisms for it, it's been painful, raw, and deeply uncomfortable for both of us.

Carmilla's individual therapy has been instrumental, according to our marriage counselor and from what Carmilla has shared, with her permission, and often within the joint sessions. She has delved into long-standing insecurities that predate our relationship, stemming from her upbringing and past relational patterns. Her fear of abandonment and her tendency to catastrophize perceived in her. emotional distance from me were apparently key triggers. The act of destroying my YouTube project, she has come to understand in therapy, was a deeply dysfunctional and destructive protest behavior, an attempt to force a connection

and reassurance when she felt overwhelmingly insecure and unseen. Particularly in the wake of her intense grief over Buddy and her misinterpretation of my own grieving process. This is, of course, an explanation, not an excuse, a distinction our counselor has emphasized repeatedly. For my part, the counseling has forced me to examine my own communication style. While I stand by my position that my internal grieving process is valid, I've learned more about how my stoicism and sometimes reserved nature can be perceived by a partner, especially one with pre-existing insecurities like Carmillas. It has been made clear that I am not responsible

for Carmilla's actions, but understanding the dynamic from both sides has been part of the therapeutic process. There's been a lot of focus on how we communicate, or fail to communicate, needs and emotions in a healthier way. In terms of concrete actions and changes, Carmilla has been consistent. She hasn't missed a therapy session, either individual or joint. She has actively participated, even when it's been difficult for her to confront her own behavior and its impact. Facilitated by our counselor, she wrote me another letter, not of apology this time, but of accountability. It detailed her understanding of the specific harm she caused, the violation of trust, the disrespect for my passion and work, the emotional manipulation inherent

in her act, and the fear it instilled in me. This was a difficult letter for her to write and for me to read, but it felt more tangible than just verbal apologies. Regarding the YouTube project, I haven't been able to bring myself to try to remake it again. I did manage to recover some older raw files from various SD cards and a cloud backup I'd forgotten about, but it isn't the same. Living arrangements. For the first three months of counseling, I got myself a short-term apartment and remained there and after much discussion, both in and out of therapy, and seeing a consistent pattern of effort from Carmilla, I agreed to a change. About three months ago, I moved into our house, but into the guest bedroom. The divorce proceedings remain officially on hold.

My lawyer is aware of the ongoing counseling and our current living arrangement. There is no talk of canceling the divorce filing at this stage. That step, if it ever comes, is very far off. This will likely be my final update for the foreseeable future, or perhaps ever. The process ahead is long and private. Thank you to everyone who listened and offered their thoughts. It was helpful to explain this somewhere during the initial shock. Update 3, Hello Again, Reddit. It has been a significant amount of time since my last update,

about a year and four months. When I last wrote, my wife Carmilla and I were living as housemates while attempting marriage counseling after her devastating act of wiping my YouTube hard drive. I genuinely didn't know then if our marriage could survive, or even if it should. Many of you offered advice, and I know the situation looked bleak. I felt it was important to offer a final chapter to this story, given the investment many of you had in reading about it. The past year and a half has been the most challenging period of our lives, individually and as a couple. We committed fully to the marriage counseling, and Carmilla continued her intensive individual therapy. There were countless hours of difficult conversations, painful self-reflection

on both our parts, and moments where it felt like the chasm between us was too wide to bridge. After about six months of living separately within the same house, with consistent positive interactions and breakthroughs in therapy, we began to spend more quality time together. It started with shared meals, then evenings talking, truly talking, in a way we hadn't for years. The guest room door eventually stayed open more often than not. The rebuilding of emotional intimacy slowly paved the way for physical intimacy to return. About eight months ago, I moved back into our shared bedroom.

The divorce proceedings were officially withdrawn about six months ago. After a long discussion with our therapist, and then between ourselves, we both felt confident that we were building something new and stronger. My lawyer was, I think, a little surprised but supportive when I instructed him to file the dismissal. What about the YouTube project, the catalyst for so much pain? For a long time, I couldn't bring myself to even think about it. However, about six months ago, Carmilla did something unexpected. She had found an old notebook where I'd scribbled some initial ideas for that lost documentary series.

She hadn't tried to rewrite it or anything like that, she'd just carefully scan the pages and organize them, along with some public domain images and research links she thought might be relevant, into a new folder on a new external drive. She presented it to me, not as pressure to restart, but as a gesture, saying she knew she couldn't bring back what was lost, but she wanted to support my passion in a healthy way, if and when I ever felt ready. Our life now is, happy. It's a word I hesitated to use for a long time, but it's true. We communicate more openly and honestly than ever before. The trust, which I thought was irreparably shattered, has been rebuilt, piece by piece. I wanted to share this outcome because so many of you were candid in your advice, and I felt a responsibility to close the loop. For those who said such a betrayal was insurmountable,

I understand your perspective entirely, and for a long time, I believed it myself. But for us, with intensive therapy, genuine remorse, a willingness to change from Carmilla, and a willingness for my side to eventually try and see beyond the act of the person I married, we found a path back. This is my final update. We are moving forward, together, and happy. Thank you, Reddit, for being a sounding board during the darkest time. I wish you all well.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse left me at a terminal during our yearly celebration journey to see his lover, then when she cut ties with him he began following me and warned of taking action. Himself. My name is Olivia. I'm 33 years old. This whole mess started a few months ago, just before my 33rd birthday. My husband, Daniel, is 35.

We were married for seven years, and we've been together for a total of nine years. We don't have any kids, which I am very grateful for now. It was always just the two of us. Two or three years ago, Daniel started to get more distant. He'd come home from work later and later. At first, he'd say it was a big project, lots of deadlines. I understood that. My job can get busy too.

But it became his usual answer. When he was home, he wasn't really there. He'd be on his phone a lot, scrolling or typing, and if I asked who he was talking to, he'd just say work stuff and get annoyed. Our conversations got shorter. We used to talk about our day, about little things. That stopped. It felt like I was talking to a wall sometimes.

I'd try to bring it up. I'd say things like, hey, we don't seem to talk much anymore, or is everything okay with you? You seem stressed. He'd usually say work was just really hard, or he was tired, or sometimes he'd turn it around on me and say I was being needy or imagining problems. He started to have these moods. Some days he'd be very quiet, almost sulky, and wouldn't say much at all. Other days, he'd be easily irritated.

I mean, really easily. If I asked him to help with something around the house, he might snap that he was too busy. If dinner wasn't ready right when he expected it, he'd get annoyed. He had a way of making me feel like I was the problem. If I got upset because he was being sharp with me, he'd say I was too sensitive.

If I tried to plan something for us to do on the weekend, he'd often have an excuse why he couldn't, or he'd agree but then seem completely uninterested when we were doing it. Then there was Isabel. She was a consultant his company sometimes hired for big projects. He started mentioning her name. At first, it was just work talk. Isabel suggested this approach, or Isabel really knows her stuff.

But then it felt like he talked about her more than other colleagues. He'd mention how smart she was, how she was going to be. places in her career, how she wasn't afraid to speak her mind. I met her once, very briefly, at a company Christmas party a couple of years ago. She was very outgoing. Daniel spent a lot of time talking to her that night. I didn't say anything then, I didn't want to seem like a jealous wife. There were a few times he cancelled plans we had. Once, we were supposed to go to my parents for dinner, and he called me an hour before, saying a major issue came up at work and he to go in. He sounded genuinely stressed, so I made excuses for him to my parents. Another time, we had

tickets to a concert he'd said he wanted to see. That afternoon, he said he was feeling unwell and couldn't go. I went with a friend instead. It was only later that I saw a photo on a work acquaintances' social media. It was from a team-building dinner that Daniel had claimed was a small, boring, mandatory meeting earlier that week. Isabel was in the picture, standing very close to Daniel, both of them laughing at something. When I asked him about it, he got very defensive. He said it was a work dinner, that Isabel was just a colleague, and I was being paranoid and trying to control him.

He got so angry during that argument. He didn't shout, but his voice was cold and hard. He told me I needed to trust him more and stop making up stories in my head. He slammed his office door and stayed in there for hours. He came out later and acted like nothing had happened, didn't apologize for his anger, just for the misunderstanding. His criticisms of me started to increase around this time. Little things at first.

My cooking, which he used to say he loved, was suddenly not as good as it used to be. He'd say the house was messy, even when I'd spend hours cleaning. He started making comments about how I dressed, suggesting I should try more effort. After we'd be out with friends, he might compare me to one of the other wives, saying she was so funny or so engaging,

implying I wasn't. It was hurtful, and when I told him so, he'd say he was just being honest or trying to help me. His temper got worse, too. It wasn't physical towards me, but he'd break things. One evening, we were discussing finances. He'd made some large purchases

without talking to me first. When I questioned it, saying we should have discussed it, he accused me of nagging him. He got up, grabbed his dinner plate, and threw it into the sink so hard it shattered. He just stared at it for a moment, then walked out of the kitchen. Another time, we had an argument about whether to spend a holiday

with his family or mine. It got quite heated, and he ended up going into the garage and punching a hole in the drywall. He came back inside later, looking sheepish and said he was sorry, that he just had a lot of pressure on him. He'd fixed the wall, he said. He did, eventually, but the memory of that anger despite all this, when our seventh anniversary was coming up, Daniel suddenly became much more cheerful.

He announced he was planning a huge surprise trip for us. A whole month before, he sat me down and showed me a glossy travel brochure for Bali. He said he knew things had been a bit rough, that he'd been stressed and distant. But he wanted to make it up to me. He wanted us to reconnect, to find that spark again. For those few weeks leading up to the trip, he was like the old Daniel. He was attentive, he helped around the house more, he initiated conversations. He bought me a new suitcase and some new clothes for the trip.

I let myself believe things might actually get better. I wanted to believe it. We flew to Bali. The first part of the trip was exactly like the brochure promised. We had a stunning villa with its own little pool, surrounded by tropical flowers. Daniel was incredibly charming. He held my hand, he complimented me, he arranged for romantic dinners on the beach. He took lots of photos of us, of me.

He posted them on his social media pages with captions like Seven Years and Still My Beautiful Bride. And making memories in paradise with my one and only. I saw the posts and felt a wave of relief. Maybe this was real. Maybe he did want to fix things. The plan was to spend three full days at this first resort, then fly to a smaller, more remote island for another four days. On the morning of our fourth day, we packed up. We had breakfast by the pool.

Daniels seemed a little quieter than the previous days, but I put it down to travel tiredness. The taxi came to take us to Denpazar air. airport for our flight to the next island. In the taxi, Daniel was on his phone the whole time, typing quickly. I asked him if everything was all right. He just nodded, didn't look up from his phone. I thought maybe it was a work emergency he was trying to handle before we went to the more remote place. At the airport, it was busy. We got our larger suitcases out of the taxi. As we were walking towards the check-in area, he said, I just need to use the men's room. quickly. I'll meet you at the check-in counter, okay? He had his carry-on bag with him, his backpack.

I said fine. I found the right check-in line for our small inner island flight and waited. The line moved forward pretty quickly. I got closer to the counter, glancing around for Daniel. He wasn't there. I got to the front of the line. The check-in agent asked for our passports and tickets. I said my husband would be right there, he just went to the restroom. I stepped aside to let others go ahead, trying to call Daniel's phone. Straight to voicemail. I sent him a text, where are you? I'm at the counter.

No reply. I waited another five minutes. Then ten. I was starting to feel a bit anxious. I called again. Voice mail. Texted again, Daniel, the flight is boarding soon. What's going on? Nothing. I was standing there with our two

big suitcases and my own carry-on bag. People were looking at me. I felt like an idiot. I walked around the immediate area, peering into the crowds, thinking maybe he got lost or was looking for me in the wrong place. No sign of him. My phone buzzed in my hand. I looked down, expecting it to be him calling. It was a text message from Daniel. My heart sank even before I read it. The message was long. So I am just going to paste it here. Olivia, I can't do this anymore. I'm not in love with you. I haven't been for a very long time, years probably. I was trying to make it work, trying to want this, but I'm just tired of pretending. Isabel is here in Bali. She's the person. She's the person I've always truly wanted to be with.

She told me she wants to give us a real chance, a proper relationship. She flew in this morning. I'm with her now. I know this is a terrible way to tell you, and I am sorry for doing this to you here, but I couldn't bring myself to say it to your face. You are always my second choice, Olivia, if I'm being honest with myself and now with you. My lawyer will be in touch with you about the divorce. The flight tickets are non-refundable for you.

I checked. But I left some cash for you in your top dresser drawer at our house. Don't try to contact me. Daniel. I read the text message once. Then again. And a third time. The words felt like punches. He had planned this. The whole anniversary trip, the romantic act, it was all a setup for this moment. He brought me to a foreign country, to a place he presented as a chance for us to only to abandon me for another woman he had arranged to meet there. The cruelty of it was staggering. I must have sat on that airport bench for at least an hour. I didn't cry.

I couldn't. I just felt this huge, empty numbness. I was stuck. He'd even mentioned the cash in the dresser drawer, like some kind of payment for my inconvenience. My first clear thought was that I had to get out of Bali. I couldn't bear the thought of staying there. knowing he was somewhere on the same island, starting his new life with her. I found the ticket counter for the international airline we'd flown in on.

I explained that my travel partner had a sudden family emergency and had to leave Bali immediately, and that I also needed to return home as soon as possible. The airline agent was surprisingly kind. She found me a flight leaving that evening. It wasn't direct, I'd have a layover in Singapore, but it would get me back to our home city by the next afternoon. The cost of changing the ticket was high. I used the emergency credit card I always kept for travel. It took most of the available credit.

I still had about six hours before the flight. I couldn't just sit in the main airport terminal. I got a small day room at an airport hotel. I sat on the bed and called my younger sister, Megan. It was the middle of the night for her back home. She picked up on the third ring, sounding sleepy and worried. I told her what happened. I just stated the facts, Daniel left, he's with Isabel, I'm at the airport, I'm coming home.

I didn't have the energy to be dramatic. Megan, on the other hand, was instantly furious. She started cursing Daniel, saying she always had a bad feeling about him. She offered to book a flight and come to Bali right away. I told her no, there was no point. I just needed her to be there when I landed. I couldn't talk for long, I felt like I was about to shatter. The flight home was awful.

Hours and hours of just sitting there, the text message replaying in my mind. I didn't sleep. I couldn't eat the airline food, it smelled sickening. When the plane finally landed in our home city, I felt exhausted down to my bones. Megan was there, waiting right past customs. She just hugged me, and that's when I cried a little. Not for long, just a few hard sobs. Megan drove me to her apartment.

I couldn't even think about going back to the house Daniel and I had shared. The house where he was probably expecting me to show up, defeated, and find his pity money. The thought of that envelope of cash made me feel ill. I stayed with Megan for three days. She was amazing. She let me talk when I wanted to, let me be silent when I didn't. She made me eat. She screened my calls because Daniel's family started calling, probably wondering where he was or what was going on, as I imagine he hadn't told them the full story.

On the second day, I called a lawyer. Megan had a friend who had gone through a nasty divorce, and she recommended her lawyer. I made an appointment for the next day. My lawyer listened to my whole story. I showed her the text message from Daniel. She read it carefully. Then she told me, very directly, what my rights were and what the process would be. She said the text message was very clear evidence of abandonment and adultery.

Daniel mentioning his lawyer would be in touch meant he was already prepared for a divorce. She advised me not to wait for his move. The next morning, Megan came with me to the house. We went at a time we knew Daniel was usually at work, assuming he had even bothered to return from Bali on his originally scheduled flight. We found out later he and Isabel had extended their vacation. His car wasn't in the driveway. The house felt strange, like it wasn't my home anymore. It was cold and silent.

I went straight to our bedroom, to my dresser. The envelope of cash was there, just as he'd said. It felt like a slap in the face. I took it. My lawyer had said to gather any financial information. I took the cash and later gave it to her to be. logged as part of the marital assets. I packed everything. I took anything that was clearly mined before the marriage or gifts given directly to me. Megan helped me carry boxes and suitcases

to her car. We filled it up. I took pictures on my phone of every room in the house, the furniture, the general condition of things, just as my lawyer had advised. I went to the bank and opened a new account in my name only. I then withdrew exactly half of the money from our joint savings and checking accounts and deposited it into my new account. My lawyer had told me this was permissible and advisable. I left the bank statements showing the withdrawals on the kitchen counter where he would see them if he ever came back. It's now been three months since that day at Denpazar Airport. I never went back to live in that house. With Megan's help, and some financial assistance from my parents to cover the deposit and first months rent, I found a small, two-bedroom apartment in a different

part of the city. The day after I moved my essential belongings out of the marital home, my lawyer officially served Daniel with divorce papers. We filed on grounds of adultery and desertion. The text message was exhibited Daniel didn't contact me directly after he was served. Not at first. His social media, which I looked at once or twice out of a morbid need to see, showed him and Isabel looking very happy. Lots of pictures of them in Bali, then back in our city, at nice restaurants, on weekend trips. He had captions like finally found my true happiness and living my best life with my amazing woman. He was served the divorce papers at his office. His lawyer contacted mine. There was some initial bluster from their side. His lawyer tried to claim that I had deserted him

by moving out of the marital home and clearing out half the joint accounts. My lawyer quickly shut that down, pointing to the date of his text message, his admission of being with another woman, and his explicit instruction for me to leave. His claim of desertion was ridiculous. The text message made my case very strong. Everything changed about two weeks ago. The tone from Daniel's lawyer suddenly became much softer. He started asking my lawyer if there was any chance of mediation, or

if I might be open to discussing a reconciliation. He said Daniel was deeply regretting his actions and was distraught. This was a complete turnaround, and it didn't make sense, given Daniel's earlier behavior and his public displays with Isabel. Then, last week, Daniel started trying to contact me directly. It began with phone calls. Many of them. From his usual number, then from blocked numbers when I started ignoring his. I didn't answer. He left voicemails. Long ones, sometimes several in a row. He sounded frantic.

Then came the emails, also long and rambling. He even showed up at Megan's apartment building one evening, buzzing her intercom, asking for me. Megan told him I wasn't there and that he needed to leave, or she'd call building security. He argued for a bid, then left. Megan was shaken but angry. She called the police. and they paid him a visit at his new rental place. He'd moved out of the marital home after being served,

though he initially wanted to stay there, and gave him an official warning about harassment. The messages from Daniel were all along the same lines. Isabel had dumped him. Apparently, their blissful new life hadn't lasted long. According to his tearful voicemails and emotional emails, Isabel had told him she wasn't serious about a long-term relationship with him. He said she led him on.

enjoyed the free Bali trip and the expensive gifts he'd bought her, and then, after about two months, she went back to an old boyfriend of hers. He said Isabel told him he was being too intense, too needy, and that he was suffocating her. He even said she called him pathetic before she left. Now, Daniel is saying he made the worst mistake of his entire life. He says he loves me, only me, and he always did. He claims he was confused and vulnerable, and that Isabel manipulated him and took advantage of his midlife crisis. His words. He's begging me to stop the divorce. He says he'll do anything I ask, go to therapy, go to couples counseling, quit his job if I want, sell his golf clubs, anything to get me back. He sounds completely desperate. His messages swing

between pathetic pleading and then flashes of anger when I don't respond. He's accused me of being cold and heartless. In one particularly disturbing voicemail, he said he couldn't live without me and that if I didn't agree to at least talk to him, he didn't know what he would do to himself, that his life had no meaning anymore. This was new. He'd had angry outbursts before, broken things, but never this kind of talk about self-harm. My lawyer is very clear. Continue with the divorce, do not engage with him, and if his harassment continues, will get a restraining order. Megan says he's a loser who got dumped and now wants his comfortable safety net back.

She says he doesn't love me, he just hates being alone and facing the mess he made. I have absolutely no intention of reconciling with him. The divorce is moving forward. That is not why I am posting. I'm not asking if I should even think about taking him back. That door is closed, locked, and barricaded. My question is about. how to deal with his current behavior. He's clearly not stable. He has started showing up in the

parking lot of my office building. He just sits in his car. He hasn't tried to approach me there, but I see him when I leave for the day. It's making me very uneasy. My lawyer says restraining order is the best strategy legally. But he seems to be spiraling. I don't want him to actually hurt himself, as awful as he has been, and I also don't want his actions to create more problems for me or drag this out even further. What's the best way to get him to stop these behaviors without talking to him directly, and without accidentally giving him any false idea that I might change my mind, or making him even more unstable? Update one first, I want to say thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story and offer advice in the comments. I went through all of them, and it was good to know I wasn't alone in thinking his behavior was way out of line.

Many of you shared similar experiences, which was sad to read but also made me feel less isolated. Your straightforward advice was very helpful. I want to clear up a few things that people asked about. One, the restraining order idea. A lot of you said I should get a restraining order immediately. My lawyer and I were already talking about this before I posted. Seeing him in my work parking lot was the last straw. We filed the paperwork right after I made my first.

original post, and it was granted by a judge last week. So, yes, that's done. It means he legally has to stay away from me, my apartment, and my workplace. He's not supposed to contact me at all, not even through other people, unless it's his lawyer talking to mine. Two, his previous behavior patterns. Some people asked if he had ever acted this unstable before. Like I said in my first post, he always had a bit of a temper. When he didn't get what he wanted, he could get very moody or have angry outbursts, like breaking the plate or punching the wall in the garage. He could also be quite manipulative with his emotions, trying to make me feel guilty if I didn't go along with what he wanted. The Bali abandonment, though, that was a whole new level of cruelty.

The recent talk about not being able to live without me and hinting at self-harm only started after Isabel dumped him. He never acted like. He never acted like. like that when he was the one in control or when he was the one ending things with me. This new behavior seems to be his reaction to losing control of the situation and actually having to face consequences for what he did. Three, about Isabel, I honestly don't know much more about Isabel, and I don't really care too. Daniel said in his messages that she used him and went back to her ex. That's his version.

Whether it's true or not doesn't change anything for me. In a strange way, she did me a few. favor. Her actions made Daniel show his true colors very clearly. For, the cash in the dresser, I mentioned he left cash. I gave all of it to my lawyer. She formally recorded it as part of the financial stuff we have to sort out in the divorce. I didn't want to touch it, it felt like dirty money. After reading all the comments and talking things through again with my lawyer and my sister Megan, it became very clear that talking to Daniel or responding to him in any way would be a bad idea. So many of you said that any attention, even negative attention, would just encourage him.

He would probably twist anything I said to mean that there was still a chance for him, or he'd use it as an excuse to keep contacting me. His current behavior is all about him and his problems. He's not truly sorry for what he did to me, he's sorry that his plan with Isabel blew up in his face and now he's alone. The things he said about self-harm felt like a way to try and force me to react, to make me responsible for his feelings. again. I'm not falling for that. The fact that this desperate behavior only started after Isabelle left him made it obvious it wasn't about me or us. So, based on all that, I stuck to the plan of complete silence and letting the lawyers handle everything. One, zero contact. I haven't answered any of his calls, texts, or emails. I've blocked every new number he's tried to use

and every new email address. It's like playing whack-a-mole, but I'm getting good at it. This was before the restraining order, two. Restraining order served, as I said, the restraining order was approved. A professional process server delivered the legal papers to Daniel at his apartment. He officially knows he has to stay away from me and stop all contact. Three. Keeping records, before the restraining order was in place, I kept a careful record of every single time he tried to contact me. I saved all the voicemails, horrible as they were.

to listen to, took screenshots of his calls and texts. I also took pictures from my office window when he was sitting in his car in the parking lot, noting the dates and times. My lawyer has copies of all of this. It was this evidence that helped get the restraining order approved so quickly. Daniel did not react well to being served with the restraining order. He couldn't contact me directly anymore, because that would be breaking the law. But he certainly tried. The evening he got the papers, he apparently tried to call my phone over 20 times. My call blocker app showed all the attempts. They all went straight to digital silence on his end. Then, he sent a very long, abusive email to my lawyer, which, by the way, is also a breach of the restraining orders no

indirect contact rule, and she's taking legal steps about that. In the email, he called me all sorts of names, cruel, heartless, vindictive. He said I was trying to ruin his life. He claimed he was completely falling apart and that the restraining order was the final nail in his coffin. He wrote about how he couldn't believe I would do this to him after everything we had shared, conveniently forgetting he was the one who threw it all away. He also, very strangely, accused me of being the manipulative one by using his moment of weakness and desperation, his words for his self-harm threats against him to get the order. The day after he was served, he wasn't in my work parking lot. That was a definite relief. However, my lawyer got a call from his lawyer later that day.

His lawyer sounded completely fed up. He told my lawyer that Daniel had a total meltdown in his office when he realized the seriousness of the restraining order. Daniel's lawyer said Daniel became extremely agitated, started shouting about how his life was over, made some vague threats about ending it all because he had nothing and no one left, and then stormed out of the lawyer's office. A few hours after that, Daniel's sister called his lawyer in a panic. Then she called my lawyer, also hysterical. Apparently, Daniel had called his sister, told her he'd taken a bottle of pills and that he couldn't take it anymore, and then hung up the phone. This, of course, caused a huge panic. His sister called 911. Paramedics and police went to Daniel's apartment. It turned out

to be another drama. He had not taken a bottle of pills. The paramedics found an empty aspirin bottle overturned on his coffee table, and Daniel himself was, according to their official report, which his lawyer eventually shared with mine, probably to try and make Daniel seem both dangerously unstable and somehow worthy of pity in the divorce, heavily intoxicated by alcohol and highly emotional, but medically stable and in no immediate physical danger. Because of the statements he'd made about the pills, he was taken to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation as a standard procedure. He was kept overnight and then released the next morning. My lawyer told me all of this in a very factual, calm way. She reminded me that Daniel's

actions are his own responsibility. She said that while the situation was dramatic and concerning, it was also possibly another attempt to manipulate me, to make me feel guilty, or to disrupt the divorce process. She is actually using this incident, and the official reports from it, to further support our case that he is unstable and that the restraining order is absolutely necessary. So, that's the latest. He hasn't tried to contact me directly since he was served and since his big pill scare drama. The divorce is still moving forward. His behavior has definitely added a lot of stress. to an already awful situation, but it hasn't changed my mind about anything. I'm still done. Update 2. It's now been about nine months since Daniel abandoned me in Bali. It's been six months since I wrote my last update here. The divorce was finalized three months ago.

It's official. I'm no longer married to Daniel. The restraining order is still active, and for the most part, Daniel has actually been following it, at least when it comes to not contacting me directly or coming near me. The indirect contact, like him emailing my lawyer, stopped pretty quickly after my lawyer sent his lawyer a very stern letter warning him about the legal trouble Daniel would be in if he breached the order again. Getting the divorce finalized wasn't easy, though. Daniel, acting through his lawyer, fought about every little thing. He tried to argue that he should get more than half of the money from the sale of our house. He claimed that because he was the primary breadwinner for a few years early in our marriage, which wasn't even true,

our incomes were pretty similar for most of the time, and I actually earned more in the last two years. He deserved a bigger share. He even tried to get spousal support from me at one point. His lawyer filed a claim saying Daniel was suffering from severe emotional distress and was unable to concentrate on his work because of the divorce and because Isabel had rejected him, so I should pay him. The judge dismissed the claim almost immediately, especially after my my lawyer presented the evidence of his abandonment in Bali, the text message where he called me a second choice, and all the documentation about his harassment that led to the restraining order. In the end, all our marital property and assets were divided according to the laws in our state,

which meant a fairly equal split. The house was sold, which was a huge relief for me. I wanted no more ties to that place or the memories in it. I got my share of the proceeds, which helped me feel a bit more secure financially. From what I hear sometimes through people we used to know, some mutual acquaintances who either forget I don't want updates or maybe they think I secretly do, Daniel's life hasn't gotten any better. After Isabel left him, he apparently tried dating other women, but nothing lasted more than a couple of dates. People say he complains constantly to anyone who will listen. He tells them I was unfair in the divorce, that Isabel used him and broke his heart, and that he's just a victim of bad luck and bad

women. There were also rumors that he was drinking a lot after his aspirin incident and the forced psychiatric evaluation, but I don't have any direct proof of that, nor do I seek it. I want to thank everyone on this subreddit again. Being able to write out my story and share it, and to get feedback, really did help me organize my thoughts and feelings during a very chaotic and painful time. It felt like I wasn't screaming into a void. I don't think there will be any more updates from me on this particular saga. The legal ties are cut, the restraining order is in place, and I have no plans to ever willingly interact with Daniel again. I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse referred to me incredibly unattractive after I was intoxicated in a vehicle collision and left me at the medical facility, then promptly desired me again when I received a substantial compensation. I, 34F, was in a horrific accident about three months ago. A drunk driver ran a red light and slammed into my car. The impact caused my car to spin and hit a tanker truck that was illegally stopped at the intersection. My car caught fire. I remember the impact, the heat, and then not much else until I was in the hospital. I sustained severe burns.

They are mostly on the left side of my body, including my face, arm, and leg. I've had multiple surgeries, skin grafts, and the doctorate. say I will be permanently disfigured. The pain has been constant, and the recovery process is slow and agonizing. I'm still in a specialized burn unit, and will likely be here for at least another month, followed by extensive outpatient therapy and more reconstructive surgeries down the line. My husband, Mark, 36M, was initially there at the hospital. The first few days are a blur of pain and medication. I remember him being by my bedside, holding my hand. Or at least, I think I remember that.

When I became more lucid, maybe a week or so after the accident, the bandages on my face had been changed. I hadn't seen myself yet, but I knew it was bad. The doctors were very gentle but direct about the extent of the scarring I would have. One afternoon, Mark was in the room. I was feeling particularly low. The nurses had just finished a very painful debridement session. I was trying to talk to him, to ask about things at home, our dog, anything to feel normal. He was quiet, mostly just looking at his phone or staring out the window.

I asked him what was wrong. He hesitated for a long time. Then he told me he was struggling to cope with my appearance. He said, and I remember his exact words, that he found it difficult to look at me, that I was unbelievably ugly now. He said he didn't know if he could handle being married. to someone who looked like me. He said this while I was lying there,

covered in bandages, barely able to move, and in constant pain. I was stunned. I couldn't process it at first. It felt like another blow on top of everything else I was enduring. I didn't scream,

I didn't cry right then. I think I was too shocked. I just looked at him, or where I thought he was because my vision was still blurry in one eye. I told him, very calmly, that if that's how he felt, he should leave. I told him I needed to focus on healing

and I couldn't do that with someone who felt that way about me in the room. He got defensive, said I was being unfair, that he was just being honest and that I was always telling him honesty was important. He said he was also a victim in this, that his life was ruined too. He eventually left, looking angry.

He didn't come back the next day. Or the day after. It's been almost two months since that conversation. He called my hospital phone a few times in the first week after. I didn't answer. My sister, 30F, who has been an absolute rock through this, told him I wasn't up to speaking with him. He apparently told her I was overreacting and being dramatic. He hasn't tried to visit. He sent one text message about a month ago asking about some mail and if I'd made arrangements for our mortgage payment. My sister has been helping me with my finances, so that was

handled. Some of his family members have reached out to my sister, saying I should be more understanding of Mark's shock and trauma. They said he's very distressed. His mother even suggested that maybe the pain medication was making me irrational when I asked him to leave. She said I should call him and apologize for pushing him away during his time of need. This is where I wonder if I'm the asshole. Was I too harsh? He did say he was being honest. Maybe I should have tried to talk it through more, even though what he said was so cruel. I was in a vulnerable state. He was supposed to be my support. Instead, he made my trauma about his discomfort with my new face. My sister says I did nothing wrong, that his behavior was monstrous. But his family has me questioning if I overreacted

by cutting him off so abruptly. I haven't initiated any contact. I've been focusing on my physical therapy, my next surgery, and just surviving each day. The thought of talking to him fills me with a cold dread. So, Ida for telling him to leave and then refusing contact after his comments about my appearance post-accident? Update 1. First, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post. I tried to read every single comment, even the harsh ones, though most of you were incredibly supportive. It helped more than you know to hear from people outside my immediate situation. People asked how I was able to write this, given my injuries, which is a fair question. My burns are predominantly on my left side. My right hand and arm were thankfully spared from the

worst of it, so while it's slow and sometimes painful to sit up and type, I am able to write using my right hand. My sister also helps me by transcribing things when I get too tired. Many of you also confirmed what my sister has been saying, that Mark's behavior was unacceptable and I was not the asshole for my reaction. A lot has happened in the last month. I was finally discharged from the main hospital a couple of weeks ago. I'm now in a specialized rehabilitation facility closer to my sister's place. She's been amazing, taking time off work to help me get settled and drive me to various appointments. The rehab is intense. hours of physical and occupational therapy every day.

Learning to use my left hand again is a struggle, and the nerve pain is still a significant issue. My face. Well, it is what it is. I've seen it properly now. The doctors are optimistic about future reconstructive surgeries, but the person I see in the mirror is a stranger. Mark's words about me being unbelievably ugly echo in my head sometimes, especially on bad days. Regarding Mark. He did not try to contact me directly again after those initial few calls I didn't take at the hospital.

However, about a week after my original post, his mother called my sister. She was very persistent, apparently. She told my sister that Mark was suffering and that I was being cruel by abandoning him after one little comment made under stress. My sister, who is usually very polite, apparently lost her temper a bit and told her exactly what she thought of Mark in his little comment. She told his mother that Mark abandoned me, not the other way around, and that if he was suffering, it was the consequence of his own actions. His mother hung up on her. A few days after that, I received a letter at the hospital, which was forwarded to the rehab facility. It was from Mark. It wasn't an apology. Not really. It was a strange, rambling letter.

He wrote about how hard this has been for him. How his story. How his story was a strange, rambling letter. He wrote about how hard this has been for him. how his friends are asking about me and he doesn't know what to say. How the house feels empty. He mentioned the financial strain, the bills, and how he's worried about the mortgage. He did say he was sorry if what he said upset me, but that he was just trying to be honest and felt blindsided by my reaction. He then suggested that once I was feeling better and more like myself, we could talk about things. There was no mention of my injuries beyond how they were affecting him. No questions about my recovery.

No offer of support. It felt entirely self-serving. I showed it to my sister, and she agreed. I didn't reply. The legal side of things is also moving forward. The drunk driver who hit me was found to be heavily intoxicated and had a history of DUIs. The trucking company whose vehicle was involved, though not at fault for the initial collision. The fire was a complex issue related.

to my car's impact with it, has a large insurance policy. My lawyer, who my sister helped me find, is very good. She specializes in catastrophic injury cases. She has been gathering all the information, medical records, police reports, and expert testimonies. She mentioned that because of the severity of my injuries, the permanent disfigurement, the loss of earning capacity, my left hand and eyesight are affected, and the sheer negligence of the drunk driver, any settlement or judgment would likely be substantial. She also mentioned the trucking company might want to settle to avoid a lengthy trial and negative publicity, given the circumstances of the fire.

This legal aspect is something Mark also touched upon in his letter, very briefly. He asked if I had thought about a lawyer and said he hoped I would get something decent because they would need it. That line, in particular, made my stomach turn. It felt like he was already thinking about the money. I've started the process of separating my finances from his as much as possible. My sister is helping me open new bank accounts. My lawyer has advised me on how to handle joint assets, like the house. We still have a mortgage on it.

Mark is still living there. I have no desire to go back to that house, not now, maybe not ever. The rehab is tough, but I'm making small progress. Some days are better than others. I'm trying to focus on my recovery and not let Mark's actions consume me, but it's hard when he, or his family, keep trying to insert themselves back into my life in these manipulative ways. I haven't spoken to him directly since that day in the hospital. I don't plan to. Thank you again for the support.

It's helped me feel stronger in my decision. Update 2. Hello everyone. It's been a while since my last update. So much has happened. and honestly, some days I'm just too exhausted to even think about writing it all down. But I wanted to keep those of you who were invested updated, and your previous advice was invaluable. My physical recovery is ongoing. I was discharged from the inpatient rehab facility about

six weeks ago. I'm now living in a small apartment that my sister helped me find. It's accessible and close to my outpatient therapy center. The therapies are still grueling, physical, occupational, occupational. I've had one more reconstructive surgery on my hand, and there are many more planned for my face and arm over the next couple of years. The scars are prominent and the disfigurement is, as the doctors said, permanent. I'm learning to live with this new version of myself. Some days are incredibly difficult. Simple tasks are still a challenge, and the reflection in the mirror can still be a shock. Now, for the main reason I'm writing this. update, the settlement and mark. About a month ago, my lawyer informed me that the trucking

company's insurers had proposed a settlement. After some negotiation, we reached an agreement. The settlement amount is $3 million. After legal fees and medical expenses already incurred or deducted, a very substantial sum will be left for my future care, lost income, and pain and suffering. The news was overwhelming. It's not a lottery win. It's compensation for a life-altering injury caused by someone else's recklessness. It means I won't have to worry about medical bills, and I can afford the best possible ongoing care and reconstructive surgeries. It gives me a sense of security in an otherwise very insecure new life. The settlement was finalized and became official about two weeks ago.

My lawyer advised me to keep it quiet for as long as possible, but news like that, especially in smaller communities or through legal circles, can sometimes get out. I hadn't told Mark, obviously. We have had no direct contact. My lawyer did send a formal letter to him regarding the pending divorce proceedings. Yes, I filed for divorce, and the division of marital assets, primarily the house. Suddenly, about a week after the settlement was finalized, Mark's behavior changed dramatically. He started calling me. Multiple times a day. I didn't answer.

He left voicemails. The tone was completely different from his previous communications. No longer was it about his suffering or how I was being unfair. Now, it was all concern and affection. Honey, I'm so worried about you. I miss you terribly. We need to talk. I've made a terrible mistake.

Then he started texting. about how he's been a fool, how he was scared and confused after the accident, how he didn't mean what he said. He said he loved me, that he always has. He said he realized he couldn't live without me. He mentioned seeing an article about the trucking company settling a major case. He didn't explicitly say he knew it was mine, but the implication was clear, and that he was so glad I would be taken care of. When I didn't respond to calls or texts, he showed up at my apartment. I don't know how he found my address. I suspect his mother wheedled it out of someone, or he did some digging.

My sister was with me when he arrived. He buzzed, and when I didn't answer, he started banging on the door, shouting my name, saying he just wanted to talk, to apologize. My sister called the police. They came and escorted him off the property, warning him against harassment. He was apparently very emotional and told the police he was just trying to see his sick wife. His family has also ramped up their efforts. His mother has called my sister, crying, saying Mark is a changed man, that he's heartbroken

and deeply regrets his actions. She begged my sister to convince me to give him another chance. She even mentioned how wonderful it was that I received the settlement, because now Mark wouldn't have to worry so much about providing for me while I recovered, and they could rebuild their lives together. The audacity is astounding. I haven't spoken a single word to him. My resolve is stronger than ever.

His sudden miraculous change of heart, timed perfectly with the news of my settlement, tells me everything I need to know. It's not about me, my well-being, or regret for his cruelty. It's about the money. He called me unbelievably ugly and abandoned me when I was at my lowest, most vulnerable point. He showed no remorse, no concern, only self-pity and annoyance. until he smelled money. The divorce is proceeding. My lawyer is aware of his recent behavior and the settlement. She is ensuring my interests are protected. It's disgusting and heartbreaking to see him behave this way. It confirms that the man I married either never truly existed or died the day he

looked at my burned face and felt disgust instead of compassion. I'm not sure what he'll try next, but I'm prepared. My sister and my lawyer are my shields. I'm focused. I'm focused. I'm focused. I'm focusing on my healing, on building a new life for myself, a life that definitely does not include him. It's just sickening to realize that his sudden desire to have me back seems to have a $3 million price tag attached to it. Update 3. It's me again. Two months have passed since my last update, and things with Mark have unfortunately escalated. His attempts to get back into my life, or more accurately, into my settlement money, have become more desperate and frankly, more unhinged. After he was escorted from my apartment by the police, he stopped showing up physically for a little while.

I think the police warning scared him temporarily. However, the calls and texts continued, if anything, they became more frequent. He would leave long, tearful voicemails, professing his undying love, his deep remorse, how he couldn't sleep or eat because of the guilt. He'd recall old memories, trying to remind me of the good times. It was a constant barrage. I changed my phone number, which brought some peace, but he then resorted to other methods. He started emailing me. My old email address, which I rarely check now, was suddenly flooded.

The emails were similar to the voicemails, please for forgiveness, declarations of love, and subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, references to our future and how we could use the settlement money to get the best care for me and start over. He even sent links to houses in neighborhoods he knew I once liked, talking about buying a new home together. His mother has been relentless. She calls my sister almost daily. Sometimes she's crying and begging, other times she's angry and accusatory, saying I'm cruel and vindictive, that I'm destroying her son. She even had the nerve to tell my sister that I owed Mark a chance because of the marriage vows, and that the settlement money was marital property and he deserved to share for his emotional distress and suffering. My lawyer has already clarified the legal standing of the settlement,

especially given it's for personal injury post-separation. His abandonment was clear, but his mother seems to believe what she wants to believe. The most disturbing incident happened about three weeks ago. Mark somehow found out where I attend my outpatient physical therapy. He waited for me in the parking lot. When I came out, leaning on my cane and feeling exhausted after a tough session, he approached me. He looked disheveled, like he hadn't been sleeping. He immediately started pleading with me, saying he just wanted to talk, to look me in the eyes and tell me how sorry he was. He tried to reach for my arm. I flinched and pulled away. I told him, my voice shaking a bit but firm, to leave me alone, that I had nothing to say to

him, and that he was harassing me. He started to get agitated, his voice getting louder. He said I was being cold and heartless, that he loved me. He actually got down on his knees in the parking lot, begging me to take him back. It was a scene. Thankfully, one of the therapists saw what was happening from the window and came out with a security guard. They made Mark leave and ensured I got to my sister's car safely.

After that incident, my lawyer sent him a formal cease and desist letter, warning him that any further contact or attempts to approach me would result in a restraining order application. That seems to have curbed his direct approaches for now, but I feel like I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. The divorce is moving slowly, mostly due to his lack of cooperation regarding the division of assets, specifically the house. He's contesting things, trying to drag it out. My lawyer says it's a common tactic when one party is bitter or trying to exert control. Through all of this, I'm trying to focus on my recovery. The Reconstructive surgeries are being planned.

I've started seeing a trauma therapist who is helping me process the accident, the disfigurement, and Mark's betrayal. It's a long road. His actions are a constant source of stress and anger, a distraction from the healing I so desperately need to do. He's not showing remorse for hurting me, he's showing desperation because he realizes he threw away a comfortable future when he threw me away. The man is not sorry, he's sorry he got caught out being a terror. person and is now missing out on money. I'm documenting everything. Every call, every email, every incident. My sister has been a saint, fielding calls from his mother and generally being my buffer. I don't know what I'd do without her. I just want him out of my life, permanently.

The fact that he's fighting so hard now, after being so quick to discard me when I was broken and had nothing, is the clearest evidence of his true character. He doesn't want I have to be. have. Update 4. Hello again, everyone. It's been a long six months since my last update, and I suppose this will likely be my final one on this particular chapter of my life. The situation with Mark reached a rather definitive, though entirely unpleasant, conclusion. The cease and desist letter from my lawyer did deter Mark's direct physical approaches for a while, but his indirect campaign of harassment continued. He used third parties, sent gifts to my apart. which I promptly returned or donated, and continued his social media lamentations.

His mother also kept up her campaign of calls to my sister, alternating between tearful pleas and bitter accusations. It was exhausting for everyone involved. The divorce proceedings were dragging, primarily because Mark was being obstructive. He contested the valuation of the marital home, argued about every piece of furniture, and tried to claim a portion of my settlement, citing his emotional investment in our marriage and the trauma he also suffered. My lawyer was brilliant, shutting down his ridiculous claims one by one, but it all took time and added to my stress. About three months ago, things took a darker turn. Mark, in what I can only describe as a complete breakdown of judgment, attempted to use the legal system to force my hand.

He filed a petition for spousal support, claiming he was unable to work due to the emotional devastation caused by our separational. and my refusal to reconcile. He also claimed that my injuries and subsequent settlement had created a drastic imbalance in our financial situations and that he was entitled to support to maintain the lifestyle he had become accustomed to during our marriage. This was on top of his demands for a larger share of the House equity. His petition was, to put it mildly, laughed out of court. The judge was not impressed with his claims, especially when presented with the timeline of

his abandonment, his cruel words to me in the hospital, and his sudden renewed interest coinciding with my settlement. The evidence of his harassment, including the police report from when he showed up at my apartment and the incident at my therapy center, was also presented. The judge dismissed his petition for spousal support outright and admonished him for wasting the court's time. This public humiliation seemed to be a turning point for Mark,

but not in a good way. He became more erratic. He started leaving angry, sometimes incoherent voicemails on my sister's phone. as I had blocked him everywhere. He accused me of ruining his life, of turning everyone against him. There were no more professions of love or remorse, it was all rage and blame. The final confrontation happened about a month ago. The divorce was nearing its final stages. We had a court date scheduled to finalize the division of assets, which was likely not going to go in his favor, given his behavior and the clear pre-separation nature of my settlement funds for personal injury.

The day before the court date, he showed up at my apartment building again. This time, he didn't buzz or knock. He waited in the lobby, and when another resident opened the main door, he slipped in and came straight to my apartment door, banging on it loudly. I was alone. My heart was pounding. I immediately called the police and my lawyer. He was shouting through the door, not pleased this time, but demands. He yelled that I owed him, that I was selfish and cruel, that I had taken everything from him. He started kicking the door. I was terrified.

The police arrived within minutes. They had to physically restrain him. He was shouting obscenities, calling me names, including his favorite, ugly, and saying I would regret this. He was arrested for harassment, violating the spirit of the cease and desist, though no formal restraining order was in place yet. His actions were clearly escalating and causing a disturbance. The next day in court, he was a wreck. His lawyer looked embarrassed.

The judge, already familiar with his previous antics, was visibly displeased. The arrest from the previous night was brought up. Mark tried to speak, to make a statement, but he just started rambling about how unfair everything was, how I had bewitched everyone. He showed absolutely no remorse, no understanding of the pain and fear he had caused me. The divorce was finalized. The judge awarded me the entirety of my settlement, ruling it a separate property due to the nature of the funds, compensation for personal injury, and the timing relative to his clear abandonment.

The marital home was ordered to be sold, with the equity to be divided according to standard marital property rules, which, after the mortgage and fees, wasn't a windfall for him, especially with his own legal fees. Mark faced charges for the harassment and disturbance. He received a fine, probation, and a court-mandated anger management course. A formal restraining order was also granted, preventing him from contacting me or coming near my residence or places I frequent. His mother called my sister one last time after everything was settled. She didn't cry or beg. She just said, in a cold voice, that I had destroyed her son and that she hoped I was happy.

My sister told her that Mark had destroyed himself with his own choices and then hung up. We haven't heard from them since. So, that's where things stand. Thank you all for listening and for your support through this incredibly difficult journey. It helped to know I wasn't alone in seeing his behavior for what it was. I'm closing this chapter now and looking towards a future where Mark is nothing but a bad memory. You. I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse utterly changed her attitude towards our son when he prepared supper independently, and I praised him excessively, resulting in her now favoring our daughter and neglecting him entirely. My partner has always been the one to cook around the house, and as an Italian, it's one of the reasons I fell so hard for her. I've offered to help out in the kitchen or even cook for her sometimes, but she's always firmly, yet politely, told me no and I can't really blame her because I did not get either of my parents' good cooking jeans. Because of this I've always been sure to thank her for every meal and I've taught my children to do the same. For the past year or so my son has been watching a ton of cooking videos and he's really been wanting to try his hand at cooking. My wife was happy to teach him and at least twice a week the two of them will go out to the store, by ingredients for a meal he found and come home and make it. It's been awesome seeing them bonding more, since they haven't really had much overlap in interests before this.

About a month ago after dinner, my son asked his mom if he could try making us all a meal on his own. I said it sounded like a great idea, and she hemmed and hawed for a little while before agreeing. So that Saturday she took him to the store to get his ingredients and then he got to work. She supervised here and there, but he insisted that she didn't need to sew eventually she came to the living room and sat with my daughter and I looking a little bit dejected, so I reassured her that I was sure he'll still want to cook with her. He just wanted to try it out on his own. That seemed to help out a little, but she still seemed a little off. When he finished and we all sat down to eat,

I was honestly surprised at just how good he managed to do on his own. I feel bad saying it, but even after a year or so of cooking with his mother, I expected him to mess up more than he did. I wanted to encourage this interest of his so I was sure to let him know while I was eating how good he did, and gently bring up the few mistakes he had made. I did it a lot more than I usually would with my wife's cooking, and in hindsight I can see that that's what started all of this. His sister, being his little sister, was not as supportive as I was, and quite rudely insulted his cooking. I was going to tell her to mind her manners

and be thankful that he cooked for us when my wife made a sound and pushed her plate away, before agreeing in saying that it was too salty and overcooked. This took me aback, and I could tell my son took it hard too, as his mood visibly dropped. I didn't say anything at the time, since my wife and I never argue in front of the kids. And I just kept up the praise of my son's cooking as his mother picked at the plate for a little while longer before she took her and our daughter's plates to the kitchen. A little while later, I had went to check on my son, and I could tell that he had been crying, so I comforted him, told him I was sure his mother loved the food and that she was probably just having a bad day, not to take it personally.

Then later, once the kids were asleep, I confronted her about it, and she tried to just brush it off, but I pushed and she got mad and said that I complimented his cooking far more than I ever complimented hers. This caught me off guard, since I didn't expect my wife to be jealous of our son, and I unfortunately let out an involuntary scoff at this. She blew up at me for laughing, and we ended up arguing for a while before eventually I managed to explain that I was complimenting him so much because I wanted to encourage him to keep cooking, and she even admitted that she shouldn't have been so harsh about it. She said she would apologize to him and I figured that everything was settled. That Monday, when I was driving my son to school, I noticed he wasn't acting normal and looking out the window, trying to hide his face from me. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he was fine, but I could tell he was fighting back tears, so I asked him again and he broke and told me that after I had left to get the car started, she told him that she was going to be cooking alone again from now on.

I was furious about this, but kept my cool and told him I would talk to her about it. Bought him a snack from the store before dropping him off at school. I left work early so I could get home before the kids and talk to my wife. I'll admit I didn't have to. handle it as well as I could have, and we ended up in a shouting match where I was calling her childish for being so vindictive towards our son because she was upset with me, and she called him a baby and said he shouldn't be so sad about not being allowed to cook since it wasn't a man's job to do so anyway. We ended up leaving each other alone to cool down, and when our kids got

home, my wife took our daughter out and came back later with a load of toys and clothes for her. I knew immediately what she was trying to do, and that night I told her that I would not let her use the money I make for our family to punish my son. She didn't take this well and we ended up arguing again. I slept in the guest room, and have been up to this point. For this past month my wife has kept up this vindictive showering of our daughter with attention and gifts, while almost entirely ignoring my son. I've been talking to my parents and brother about this, and while they agree that she's wrong, they also don't see it as that big of a problem and think it'll sort itself out. At this point, with how she's been treating our son, I'm starting to fall out of love with her,

but I also don't want to just jump to divorce if there's something that I can do to fix this whole situation. I can honestly say that we've never had a fight this big. Sure, we bicker every now and then, but she's never taken that out on my son in the past. I feel responsible and guilty about what happened, and I've been trying to do nice things for my son, when I can, but I also don't want to mirror my wife's behavior so I've also been taking my daughter with us about half the time we go places. But whenever we do, she's been very rude and always talks about all the stuff her mother does for her lately, because she knows it bothers her brother. Seeing the way my wife has been treating our son has made me second

guess our marriage, but I don't want to just jump straight to divorce either. Any advice on what I should do, or how to best bring up the topic of therapy would be appreciated. Update, obligatory, but genuine, thank you for all of the support, even the comments that got a bit nasty. That kind of pushback helped me to see that things were a lot worse than I realized. Some of you could do with being a bit nicer, but the advice is appreciated all the same. Short recap, my wife and son cooked dinner together most nights for about a year. My son wanted to try cooking dinner on his own, which my wife accepted, but started acting funny.

She ended up rudely criticizing his meal, then the next day she told him that she would do the cooking on her own from then on, and after I confronted her about this, she started neglecting slash emotionally abusing him while shoveling positivity onto our daughter. The first thing I did after making my previous post was take my son to my parents' house to tell them what was happening from his mouth. I figured they may be more receptive to seeing the pain their grandson was going through and not just write it off like they had with me. They ended up understanding, and supportive of my next move, which was kicking my wife out till she worked through whatever problem she was going through. Next I went to a lawyer and consulted with him.

He told me it would be best to have the papers ready to go, even if I wasn't sure I wanted the divorce yet because it's better to get it done as quick as possible if I decided to go through with it because in Canada you, you have to either have to separate for a year, or prove abuse or adultery. I took the kids to my folks' house the next Saturday and came back with my mother. I let her talk with my wife first, then when they were done I told her that I needed her to leave the house until she sorted out whatever was causing her to act this way to our son. She, surprisingly, agreed to this. I'm guessing hearing things from my mother knocked some sense into her, as they were always quite close. I told her that my parents were willing to let her stay there during the time

because her parents lived too far away, or I could put her up in a nearby motel. I would also pay for her to see a therapist every week, which I told her was mandatory for fixing things. Our kids spent the night with my parents and we moved her out the next day, we both sat with the kids and told them what was happening. Our son understood, but our daughter didn't and was quite upset, but eventually we calmed her down. Things went well for the first month or so. She went to all of the weekly appointments, and I met her for dinner a few nights a week with the kids, and she seemed to be treating our son properly again. I was really hopeful that she had been making progress.

Then the Friday after her fifth therapy appointment she sent me a wall of text messages about how I was an asshole, and I was trying to steal her children from her, and how I was probably fucking someone on the side. I tried calling her to see what she was talking about, but I think she shut her phone off. I called my mother and she told me that my wife had left the house earlier that day with all of her stuff without saying anything to my mom. I'm not 100% sure what happened next, since my wife has refuses to tell me most details, and I can't get in contact with the friends she was with. The best I can piece together was that she had told her best friend about what was happening, and that friend started telling her all about how I was just trying to kick her out and steal her kids.

She then moved in with her friend, and went on a week-long bender of clubbing and drinking in drugs. When we were younger we did our fair share of stupid shit together, so while this was surprising, it was most likely her dumb-ass friends convincing her to relive the good old days. I hadn't heard anything for about a week, then I got a text from her friend, telling me I was a loser, that my wife was too good for me and that she was fucking a younger guy. I tried to demand she'd give my wife the phone so I could talk with her, but I never got a reply. I screenshotted the text for evidence if I needed it. I ended up getting a call from the hospital at like three in the morning that Sunday.

My wife had overdosed on something and was dropped off at the ER by someone who didn't stick around. Since I was her emergency contact, they reached out to me. I called my mom to come watch the kids and headed over there. They managed to get her stabilized, and were treating her. I stuck around for a few hours and she was in and out of consciousness, and when she was, she wasn't very talkative. When she properly woke up, she started apologizing for everything, and that's when I found out the few details I know about her friend in the Bender.

I asked her if she had been fucking someone else like her friend said, and she didn't reply, which was as much of an answer as I needed. She kept trying to apologize and I just kept my cool and told her this wasn't the time or place for this. We ended up leaving at about 8 a.m. the next day. I got her back to my parents' place, got her into bed, and just before I left, I put the papers on the table beside the bed and told her that I expected her to sign them within a week and that I had proved she cheated on me during her bender. I had told my parents I was planning on doing this on the phone, so I wasn't just dumping this drama on them without warning. The kids are both doing fine. They don't know anything of what happened with their mother or the divorce.

All they know is that my wife is still moved out, and that she's busy getting better so we're not going to be seeing her as much. I'll probably tell them in a couple weeks whenever school lets out for the summer so it doesn't affect their learning. Over the next couple weeks I've gotten countless calls from her, ranging from begging for a second chance, to screaming at me that she hated me and was going to make my life hell, going back and forth every other day. I've also been getting vitriolic texts from her family and friends calling my all sorts of names and threatening me that if I don't drop the divorce I'll regret it, all of which have been screenshoted. My parents agree that divorce is for the best, but they're questioning my timing, and wondering if I shouldn't have picked a better time to do this than when I'm. she was fresh out of the hospital. I'm 100% sure I want her out of my life, and I plan on going for full custody of my children as I don't want them around my wife if this behavior is what she's willing to stoop to. And while I do want it done as soon as possible, I'm wondering if I

should take back the papers and tell her I've changed my mind, at least until she's a bit more stable. Next story, sister got my dad a DNA test for Christmas and now we found his birth parents after 56 years, while learning about their incredible love story. My dad, M. 56, was adopted at birth. He was raised in Eastern Canada and never really searched for his birth parents. The people who raised him are his parents to him and he loves them very much. They have always been amazing grandparents to my sister, F-19, and I, M-22. All he had from his birth parents was a letter which told him he was born out of love, but they could not support him when he was born. So when my sister decided to get him a genetic test for Christmas, it was purely with the intention to find out what

ethnicity we all are and the thought of finding his birth parents didn't even cross our minds. Eventually, when we got his results, we were surprised to find the names of two people with perfect genetic matches to my dad. He had the option to reach out to them, so he wrote them each an email and just waited for their responses. Almost immediately, his biological dad, who I'll call Jim, not his real name, responded. He said how excited and happy he was to have found my dad and how he was looking for him for so long. My dad, who is usually an emotionally reserved man, was curled up on the couch grinning as he was texting Jim for the first time. I was was still in shock from the news, but was so happy to see my dad even happier than when I graduated

uni. Soon thereafter, he also received a message from his biological mom, Debbie, not her real name. By talking to them both, my dad learned the story of his birth and I think that it's absolutely wild. Debbie is the daughter of an Australian mining engineer and they all moved to Canada for his work when she was in high school. Later on, they moved to the Midwest where she met Jim at the the age of 17. They were high school sweethearts and were thinking of marriage after they graduated, but then Debbie got pregnant. This being the 60s, this was a huge deal. Her dad was furious and sent her back to Canada to give birth and arranged a private adoption as he knew of a couple who were trying to have a kid, my grandparents. Once she gave birth, she was able to let Jim know

that she was being sent back to Australia. They never saw each again for the next 40 years. Jim apparently was only able to move on once he received a letter over five years later from Debbie, saying that she got married. Eventually, he got married too, and they moved to the West Coast, but his wife got into a terrible car crash and lost the use of both legs in one arm, so they were never able to have kids. Debbie had three daughters in Australia, the oldest of which is seven years younger than my dad. They saw each other for the first time around 12 years ago, as they reconnected on Facebook and Debbie happened to be taking a trip to the west coast of America. Both Jim and Debbie had always wanted to keep my dad, and so they tried for decades to find him.

But my province apparently is one of the hardest places in the world to find adoption information, especially since my dad only received his birth certificate at his baptism, so their names were not on it. Jim had essentially given up trying to find my dad until genetic tests became popular. He asked Debbie to take every single one, and he did the same, about five years ago, in the hopes that one day my dad would take one. When he received my dad's message, he immediately wrote to Debbie, I found him. Since then, we have had several calls with Jim and his wife and they are absolutely lovely. We are their only family since they don't have kids and I couldn't be happier.

At the end of the month, we'll be flying to the West Coast to meet them. It has been harder to talk to Debbie as Australia is so many hours ahead of us, but she also is so kind and an absolute joy to talk to. I haven't met my three new ants yet, but apparently one lives in London. It's crazy to think that I might have been within a few kilometers of her the few times I've visited. I also have five new younger cousins. A couple of them are huge fans of Japanese culture,

so they're ecstatic to hear that they have half Japanese cousins. My mom is Japanese Canadian, so my sister and I are both half. We hope to visit them one day in Australia, but we might all meet up in Japan next year. I don't know how to end this, I am still processing everything. It's absolutely incredible to have my family grow so much, but also a little overwhelming. I'm so happy for my dad, for Jim, and for Debbie, and am so excited to get me. to know them better. I hope I get to meet my new cousin soon too. I feel so incredibly lucky that this happened, seemingly against all odds. My dad was initially raised Francophone, so it's a miracle that they

even speak the same language. Anyways, thank you so much for taking the time to read through this, and my apologies for how long this post ended up being. I might post an update after I meet Jim and his wife. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Update, first of all, thank you so much to everyone who left such kind and heartfelt comments on my first post. It's incredible of your stories. To those who were concerned that we would abandon my grandparents that I grew up with, that is most definitely not the case.

They were the people I grew up with and I absolutely love them to bits, although only my grandmother is still with us. All the incredible times I've had with her growing up are so much more important than blood and I can't comprehend the stories I read where people forget about their adoptive parents or grandparents when they find their biological ones. I won't recap my previous post here because I'm lazy, huh? So, we just got back from visiting Jim and his wife, who I'll call Mary, not her real name, on the West Coast and it was one of the best experiences of my life. We spent a week in their city and got to experience so much with them. Our first time meeting them in person was very emotional and felt very surreal.

We spent the whole day looking through my dads and our old photos, basically catching Jim up on everything that he has missed over the past 56 years. We also got to see so many of his and Mary's old photos too, which was very cool. We went to a park near their house and on the walk, I heard Jim whisper my son with a massive smile across his face. Throughout the week, we explored their city and saw so many cool sights and tried so much delicious food. Mary knows her city so well and it was great to see her favorite spots all around the city from food carts to gardens to museums. We all went to an incredible Japanese-American museum and Jim and Mary absolutely loved it. They were very keen to learn about the internment during World War II and said that they knew a bit about it before, but now it feels so personal. We went on two hikes with Jim, Mary wasn't able to come because she is in a wheelchair.

It's so cool to have such an active and outdoors a grandfather who is able to go on such long hikes. He taught us some foraging tips and told us stories from when he used to camp for years on end. Both he and Mary are very spiritual, so he also told us great stories from meditation retreats they've done. He's even tried psychedelics, so he's definitely the cool grandpa. I won't go into precise details of places we went, but it was great exploring such a cool part of the world with amazing people. We were all very sad when the trip was over and we had to leave. I've gained two new grandparents on the West Coast and I couldn't be happier. And they said that they've gained two grandchildren, I'm so glad that they see us as such.

Mary told me her greatest regret in life was not being able to have children and grandchildren, but now she does. This has been such a transformative time in our lives and I think it's incredible just how many people are so much happier now because my sister just happened to get my dad a DNA test. This is just the beginning of our relationship with our new grandparents and I am so excited. Now we have to figure out a way to go to Australia to meet Debbie. Whenever that happens, maybe I'll make another update. Until then, I hope you all have a lovely day and thank you so much for taking the time to read our story. I hope you enjoy this story.

Spouse was unfaithful to me with several ladies at a stag celebration while I was at home with our infant, then discovered he contracted an illness from a harlot. Family as demanding I take care of him. So, me, 32F, and him, 35M, let's call him Dale, we've been married for six years. Together for eight. We have a toddler, Emily, who's three, and a newborn, Sean, who's just two months old. Two months. I'm still bleeding sometimes, my hormones are all over the place,

I'm barely sleeping more than two hours at a stretch, and I'd been handling pretty much everything with Sean because Dale was, you know, giving me space or overwhelmed by the baby cries. Translation, he was playing video games with noise-canceling headphones or suddenly had a million things to do outside the house. Before all this.

God, it feels like a lifetime ago. Dale was. Okay, I guess. He was never super hands-on, not really the nurturing type, but I figured he was a good enough guy. Steady job, paid his share of the bills. We had laughs.

I thought we were solid. Clearly, I was an idiot. He always had a bit of a selfish streak, a bit lazy around the house, but I picked up the slack. I always did. Thought that's what you do in a partnership. Turns out, I was just enabling a leech. The pregnancy with Sean was rough. I had morning sickness well into the second trimester, then sciatica so bad I could barely walk.

Delivery wasn't a picnic either. Long labor almost ended in a C-section. And then you're home with this tiny, screaming human and another little one who needs you. and your body feels like it's been through a meat grinder. I was exhausted, an emotional wreck and mostly alone in it. Dale would pat me on the shoulder and say, You're doing great, babe, then disappear. About six weeks postpartum,

Dale announces he's going to a bachelor party for his college buddy, Scott. Three days, out of state. My first reaction was, are you fucking kidding me? I hadn't slept properly in weeks. I was covered in baby vomit half the time, and Emily was acting out because her world had been turned upside down by the new baby. Me, now. You want to go away now?

Dale, babe, it's Scott. I'm the best man. It's been planned for months. Me, and Sean's arrival was planned for nine months. I need help, Dale. Dale, my mom can come over. You'll be fine. It's just a few days.

I need this, I'm stressed too. Stressed? From what? Avoiding diaper changes? He went, of course. I was furious, but too tired to fight him properly. His mom came for a few hours, one day, which was more hassle than help, honestly.

She just criticized my housekeeping and told me I was spoiling Sean by picking him up too much. When he came back all smiles and missed you so much. But something was off. He was jumpy with his phone, like, always screened down, or he'd angle it away if I walked past. He was weirdly defensive if I asked basic questions about the trip. It was just guys being guys, you wouldn't get it. Then he started being mean. If I was emotional, which, hello, newborn and no sleep, he'd say I was being hormonal and irrational.

If I brought up feeling overwhelmed, he'd sigh dramatically and say, Can't I just have some peace when I get home from work? He started picking fights over stupid things. The house isn't clean enough. When was he going to clean it? Dinner isn't what he fancied. I was apparently letting myself go. This from a man whose main contribution to child care was complaining about the noise.

The phone thing really got to me. He'd take it to the bathroom, even for a shower. One night, I just asked him straight up. Me, is there something on your phone you don't want me to see? Dale, what the hell kind of question is that? Of course not. Me, then let me see it. Dale, no.

It's my privacy. Why are you being so paranoid? You're acting crazy. Me, I'm acting like a wife who's seeing a bunch of red flags from her husband who suddenly acts like his phone is a state secret after a boy's trip. Dale, you need to chill out. Seriously. It's probably your hormones making you suspicious.

There's nothing going on. Gaslighting, he made me feel like I was losing my mind. I started doubting myself. Maybe I was being overly sensitive. Maybe the lack of sleep was making me paranoid. About two weeks after he got back from the trip, I got a message request on Facebook. It was from someone I didn't know, a woman.

The message just said, You should probably see this. And there was a photo attached. It was Dale. At a club, lights flashing. He had his arms around this blonde woman, face buried in her neck, her hands were all over his ass.

They were basically dry humping on the dance floor. It wasn't just a friendly hug. I couldn't breathe. I recognized the shirt he was wearing, it was one I'd bought him for his birthday. Turns out, the woman who sent it was the girlfriend of one of the other guys at the bachelor party. Her boyfriend had drunkenly shown her picks from the night, and she, felt I had a right to know. His own friend had taken the picture. I waited till Emily was asleep and Sean was finally settled.

Dale was on the couch, gaming, headphones on. I walked over and just stood there until he noticed me. He pulled off his headphones. What's up? I didn't say anything. I just airdropped the photo to his phone and watched his face. First, confusion. Then dawning horror.

Then his face just crumpled. He looked up at me, eyes wide. Dale, where did you get that? Me, does it matter? Is it you, Dale? Is that some random woman you were grinding against while I was at home, drowning in diapers and exhaustion? Dale, babe, it's not what it looks like. We were all drunk.

It was just some stupid dancing. Me, dancing? Dale, you look like you're about to scream. her on the dance floor. And what happened after the dancing? He just stared at his hands. Silence. Me, did you sleep with her, Dale? More silence. His face was pale. Me, did you sleep with her? I was yelling by them. Dale, mumbling, yes. Okay? Yes. I was drunk, it was a mistake, it meant nothing. A mistake. It meant nothing. While I was recovering from pushing his child out of my body while I was caring for our children. Me, a mistake. You lied to my face for weeks.

You called me crazy. You let me think I was losing my mind. You watched me suffer. Dale, I didn't want to hurt you. Me, well, congratulations, you failed spectacularly. The argument was, ugly. He tried to blame the alcohol, the guys egging him on, even me, for being distant since the baby. I just saw a red. I think I scream things I don't even remember. At one point he tried to grab my to make me calm down, and I slapped his hand away so hard my palm stung. I didn't sleep that night. I just sat on the nursery floor, holding Sean, watching Emily breathe on the monitor. My world had just imploded. The man I married, the father of my children, was a liar and a cheat. And worse, he was a coward. The next morning, I started packing. Dale tried to stop me, begging, crying.

Dale, please, don't do this. We can fix this. I'll do anything. Me, no, Dale. You did this. There's no we fixing it. You broke it. I can't even look at you. He followed me from room to room, whining and pleading. It was pathetic. He didn't get it.

He still thought he could talk his way out of it. I called my sister, crying, and told her I was coming to stay with her. She just said, I'm on my way. Leaving was chaos. Trying to pack for myself, a toddler, and a newborn while Dale was either underfoot trying to help, which was just him getting in the way and looking pitiful, or yelling about how I was overreacting and destroying our family. My sister arrived like a cavalry charge, took one look at my face, one look at Dale, and just

started loading bags into her car. She didn't say a word to him. The silence was more damning than any yelling. The last thing I saw was Dale standing in the doorway, looking lost and pathetic. The first few weeks were a blur. My sister's place isn't big, but she made it work. I cried a lot. I was angry. I was numb. Trying to breastfeed a baby when your stomach is in knots from stress is a special kind of hell. Emily was confused, asking for her daddy, and that just broke my heart all over again. My parents, once they got over the shock,

were supportive too, in their own way, mostly by bad-mouthing Dale, which, honestly, helped. I initiated no contact with Dale. He blew up my phone for a while, texts, calls, voicemails. Ranging from I love you, I'm so sorry, please come home to your being vindictive, you're keeping my kids from me. I blocked him.

All communication had to go through my sister. So, that was a month ago. I've been slowly trying to piece together some semblance of a new normal. Looking into daycare for Sean so I can eventually go back to work, trying to find an apartment. Then, three days ago, I get a hysterical call from my mother-in-law, Ruby. Dale is sick. Really sick. He finally went to a doctor after feeling like crap for weeks, and he got some tests done.

Turns out, his one-night mistake at the bachelor party wasn't just with some random woman he met at a club. According to what he eventually admitted to his mom, and what she sobbed down the phone to me, after the club, he and a couple of the other guys went and got hookers. And the one he was with, well, she left him with a lifelong parting gift. Dale has HIV. He didn't get it from the woman in the photo. He got it from a prostitute he paid for later that night. So, he didn't just cheat once.

He cheated multiple times in one night, and one of those times was with a sex worker. And he lied about all of it. Now, his whole family is blowing up my phone. My mill, Phil, his siblings. They're all saying the same thing. He's devastated. He's terrified. He needs you. You're his wife.

It's your duty to come home and take care of him. In sickness and in health, remember? They're painting me as this cold, heartless bitch for not immediately rushing to his side. His mother actually said, he made a mistake, but this is a tragedy. He could die. Don't you have any compassion? What about your vows? I told her my vows didn't include caring for a man who deliberately deceived me,

exposed me, and potentially our unborn child, at the time, to God knows what, and then lied about it for weeks. I told her my priority is my children and my own sanity. I told them I want a divorce. The backlash has been insane. They're calling me cruel, unforgiving, selfish, saying I'm abandoning him in his darkest hour, that I'm a terrible person.

Dale himself has been sending messages through his mom, saying he's sorry, he knows he messed up, but he's scared and doesn't want to be alone. I've made an appointment to get myself and Sean tested Emily to just to be safe, though the chances for her are minuscule unless I contracted it and passed it during pregnancy slash birth with Sean, but I have to be sure for everyone. The thought that he could have infected me, that I could have unknowingly passed something to Sean,

it makes me physically ill. I haven't told them this part yet. I want to know my status first. I feel like I'm standing my ground, but the pressure is immense. They're making me doubt my own resolve sometimes, even though deep down I know I can't go back. Not after this. This isn't just cheating anymore. This is a whole other level of betrayal and recklessness.

So, I'd offer refusing to go back and care for my HIV positive husband who cheated on me with multiple people, including a prostitute. lied about it, gaslit me, and only confessed the full extent when he got a life-altering diagnosis. I just need to know if I'm seeing this clearly or if I'm the monster they're making me out to be. Update 1. Wow. Okay, first off, thank you. Seriously. I posted that rant a week ago on a state of absolute turmoil, half expecting to be told I was a cold-hearted bitch or something. The sheer volume of support has been.

Overwhelming in a good way. I've read every single comment, even the tough ones. It's given me a lot of clarity, or maybe just solidified when you're not. I already knew but was too scared to fully stand by because of all the noise from his family. To answer a few common questions, we have two kids, Emily, three years old, and Sean, now nearly three months old. Yes, the friend who took the photo, his girlfriend sent it to me. I have no idea what his motivations were for taking it, but I'm weirdly grateful. Small mercies, I guess. The timeline, he went to the bachelor party mid-march. I found out about the cheating,

the club girl, mid-April and left immediately. Found out about the HIV diagnosis and the hooker at the very end of April slash early May. No, I had absolutely no idea he was capable of this. None. Looking back, were there tiny signs of selfishness? Yes. But soliciting a prostitute and lying about an STI? Never in a million years would I have guessed. A lot of you were, rightfully, screaming at me to get tested ASAP. That was already in motion when I posted, but the anxiety was eating me alive. Many of you also mentioned legal counsel. Yep, way ahead of you there. Reading your comments was like having a hundred's voices affirm that I wasn't crazy. That my anger is justified. That his family's demands are utterly insane. They're grieving, scared, whatever, but that doesn't

give them the right to demand I sacrifice my well-being and my children's future for the man who did this to himself, and by extension, to us. The in sickness and in health line they keep throwing at me? As many of you pointed out, that implies a partnership, a two-way street. It doesn't mean signing up to be a caregiver for someone who willfully destroyed the marriage, lied, and endangered your health through deceit and recklessness. The fact that it's now a biohazard is his problem, not mine. My decision was already 99% made, but reading through the experiences and advice here just cemented it. Divorce isn't a maybe. It's a definite. My kids deserve a mother who isn't broken, and I deserve a life free of his. Contamination, in every sense of the word. After hours of thinking

these are the steps I decided to take. One, testing, this was priority number one. I took myself and Sean in for blood tests the day after I found out about Dale's diagnosis. Emily too, though the doctor reassured me the risk to her was incredibly low unless I was positive and it was transmitted during the pregnancy or birth of Sean, which would imply I was infected before Sean was conceived or very early on, which is a terrifying thought spiral I went down many times. The weight for the results was the worst three days of my entire life. Pure, unadulterated terror. Every itch, every slightly warm feeling, I was convinced it was a symptom. My sister basically had to sit on me to stop me from Googling symptoms 247. Two, lawyer, I had my first consultation with a divorce lawyer. I laid out the whole story.

She was horrified but very professional. We've started the paperwork. She advised me to keep all communication with Dale and his family documented, or better yet, routed through her. Three, informing the in-laws, officially, after getting the test results, more on that in a sec, I had my sister call my mill. My lawyer advised it, sort of a cease and desist with the harassment. Official proceedings are starting kind of message.

My sister is much better at staying calm and just stating facts than I am right now. And these were the outcomes of those steps. 1. Test results, negative. All of us. Me, Sean, Emily. Negative for HIV, negative for everything else they tested for. When the doctor told me, I burst into tears in her office. Two, the in-laws reaction, predictably, not good.

After my sister's call, my mill, Ruby, somehow got my new temporary number, must have wheedled it out of someone, and left me a voicemail that could curdle milk. Ruby, voicemail, so that's it then? He gets a scary diagnosis and you just throw him away like trash. after he gave you a home and children? You're a cold, vindictive woman. I hope you're happy when he's all alone and suffering. This will be on your conscience.

He's your husband. I played it for my lawyer. She just raised an eyebrow and said, save that. The rest of his family has gone quiet, for now. Probably regrouping to figure out new ways to call me Satan. Three, Dale's reaction, he's tried to reach out directly, mostly pathetic texts relayed through people because I still have him blocked everywhere. I'm so sorry I scared you.

I'm glad you're okay. Please, can we just talk? I need you. Need me for what? To change his adult diapers in a few years? To be his emotional punching bag? No, thanks. Hard pass.

My lawyer is sending him the official separation agreement and divorce papers next week. So, that's where we are. Relieved about the tests, stealing myself for the divorce battle. It's going to be ugly, I know it. His family will likely try to drag my name through the mud. He'll probably play the victim. But I have my kids, we have our health, and I have a damn good lawyer. Thank you all again for listening, it meant more than you know.

I'll update again if there's anything significant to share, but honestly, I'm hoping for a period of boring, uneventful peace while the lawyers do their thing. A girl can dream, right? Update 2, hello again, everyone. It's been about eight months since Update 1. So, roughly nine months since D-Day, or HIV Day, as I've morbidly started calling it in my head. I promised an update if anything significant happened, and well, things have certainly happened. I'm hoping this will be the final one because, frankly, I'm exhausted with this whole saga and ready to close this particular book.

The divorce is done, finalized a few weeks ago, and it was an absolute shit show, just as I predicted. Dale, spurred on by his charming family, tried to make things as difficult as possible. He actually tried to argue for shared custody of Emily and Sean, with his lawyer even hinting that my vindictive nature and leaving him when he was sick and vulnerable made me an unstable parent. My lawyer just about laughed them out of the room, then calmly presented the timeline of his deceit, the exposure risk to the children, and the fact that he was a victim. he'd barely changed a diaper in his life, let alone been a primary caregiver. Thankfully, the judge saw through it, and I have full physical custody. Dale gets supervised visitation with Emily at a designated center. Sean is still too young, and honestly, the risk of Dale's negligence is too high for my comfort

with an infant. These visits are conditional on him being up to it, proving he's following his medical protocols, and isn't a risk. So far, he hasn't taken up many of the offered sessions, usually excusing himself by saying he's not feeling well. Financially, they tried to argue he shouldn't have to pay much child support or out. because of his medical condition and reduced earning capacity. Again, my lawyer was a very good one.

She pointed out his condition was a direct result of his own actions and infidelity, and that he was working and earning fine before he decided to decimate our lives. The financial settlement is fair, not generous, but it's enough for me to get on my feet properly with the kids. As a small silver lining, he had to sell his precious car. The harassment from his family, particularly Ruby, his mother, didn't let up for a long time either. There were accusatory texts, calls to my parents, and even a few veiled comments on my sister's social media. My lawyer sent another, more strongly worded cease and desist, hinting at harassment

charges, and that mostly shut them up. They still glare daggers if we ever cross paths, as we live in the same general area, unfortunately, but the direct attacks have stopped. From what I hear through the grapevine, because I sure as hell am not asking, Dale's not doing great. This isn't just physical, with the HIV, he is apparently struggling with medication side effects and has been sick a lot. Mentally, he's a wreck. Most of his friends, including the ones from the bachelor party, have distanced themselves. Apparently, word got out about the hooker and the HIV, and suddenly he's persona non-grata. It seems the bro code doesn't cover lifelong STIs. Scott, the groom whose bachelor party it was, is reportedly furious with Dale for the drama he caused.

He also lost his job. It wasn't directly because of the HIV, as that would be illegal, but his performance tanked, he was out sick constantly, and they found legitimate reasons. So, his fears of reduced earning capacity became a self-fulfilling prophecy. His parents are supporting him Now. Ruby still occasionally tries to send messages through third parties, since I have her blocked everywhere, saying I should find it in my heart to forgive and show some Christian charity. I find it in my heart to press delete. As for me and the kids, this has been the hardest part, but also the most rewarding. Finding a new rhythm as a single mom to a toddler and a baby is no joke, and I'm tired pretty much all the time. But it's a different kind of tired now.

I found a small apartment, Emily has her own little room, and Sean's crib is in with me. It's peaceful. Emily still asks about her dad sometimes. I'm honest with her in an age-appropriate way, telling her, Daddy made some big mistakes and he's sick, so he can't live with us right now. It's heartbreaking, but I won't lie to her. She sees him occasionally at the supervised visits, and they're just. Okay. He looks tired and sad. She's usually happy to see him, but also happy to come home with me.

Sean, on the other hand, is a chunky, happy baby. He's rolling over and giggling, and he'll never remember any of this drama, for which I'm grateful. I've started some freelance work from home and I'm looking into part-time daycare for Sean. for a few hours a week so I can take on more. My parents and sister continue to be an amazing support system. So, that's it. The divorce is final. We're safe, we're healthy.

Dale is living with the consequences of his actions. His family can think whatever they want of me. Their opinions don't pay my bills or soothe my crying baby at 3 a.m. Am I happy? Not in a giddy, life is perfect way. I'm still healing. I'm still angry sometimes. I still mourn the family I thought I had.

But I am at peace, more so than I've been in years. Thank you all, again, for being a sounding board when I was at my lowest. For the advice, the support, and for making me feel less alone in this nightmare. Hopefully, this is the absolute last time I'll ever need to post about Dale and his mess. We're moving on. Take care, everyone.