Reddit Stories - Episode #7 - Toxic Family Drama and AITA Stories ( Over 9 Hour Compilation )

Episode Date: October 5, 2025

#redditstories #sleep #sleepstories #bedtimestories #fallasleep #toxicfamily #aita #confessions #longcompilation SummaryEpisode 7 dives into toxic family drama and gripping AITA stories in a soothing 9-hour compilation. Perfect for bedtime, these emotional confessions mix conflict, secrets, and narration that relaxes your mind. Ideal for nightly listening, helping you unwind, release stress, and drift into deep and restorative sleep. Tagsredditstories, sleepstories, fallasleep, bedtimestories, relaxingconfessions, toxicfamilydrama, aitacompilation, longbedtimeaudio, soothingnarration, 9hourstorytime, sleeplisteningcompilation, dramaandconfessions, calmingbedtimestories, peacefulnightaudio, bedtimecompilation, stressreliefnarration, deepreststories, nightlisteningaudio, familyconfessions, sleepbetterstoriesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse erupted in anger at my family gathering and abandoned me when I refused to hand over the vehicle keys. Now he insists on attending therapy for our marriage only if I agree to his terms. Beg for his forgiveness first. I 34F and my husband 35M have just gone through the biggest fight we ever had and it seems like divorce is inevitable. We have been together for seven years and married for two. No kids yet, but I recently found. found out I am pregnant and it's so early in the pregnancy that only my mom 58F knows as of now.

About two months ago everything was fine in our relationship. We live in Toronto in a condo and we just got a puppy a couple of weeks ago. We obviously had the usual spats like most couples here and there but nothing unmanageable. Recently my husband has got it into his head that we should move to Calgary. Due to its cheaper cost of living and the raising expenses in Toronto, it was worth considering. I was not and still am not 100% sold because one thing my husband refuses to consider in this decision is that we have a lot of family here. If anything were to happen I know we have support from them and out there we'd be on our own. More info, we are very close with my family.

My mom, brother 32M and Sill 27F live about 20 minutes away and we see them and my extended family very often. We are not so close with his family. He has no communication with his sister. and only tolerates his parents. His parents never really accepted me because of my religion and despite trying with them several times it came to the point where only he communicates with them. I try to push him to mend those relationships

because I think he needs it. Family kind of fell apart when he was 17 and he seems to really like being around family ESP when he's with mine. So I figure with my pregnancy maybe we can start from scratch with his side of the family and building that relationship again. He was actually on board with my messaging his sisters and letting them know I was pregnant. The problem, on Saturday my brother had a barbecue and we and our new puppy went over.

About a week before the barbecue my husband told my mom about Calgary. My mom was not a fan as she didn't think it was a good idea for us. I wasn't thrilled either because we have nothing planned and I felt there was no need in mentioning it yet as we didn't even know when and if we were going to go. During the barbecue I asked my husband not to mention it because I saw how upset it made my mom and I wanted to have a good time. He promised me he wouldn't. Now a bit more background, my brother got married last year and had his reception this year in May after his wife got her visa to come to Canada. My mom helped with the finances for both events. My brother feels like it's not fair that he got a wedding and reception and I didn't get either. We got married in City Hall and didn't do a reception and got our condo.

instead. So during the barbecue we were talking and my brother said we should think about it and throw a little party. Tbh I would consider it now but my brother doesn't know I'm pregnant and I don't feel like I want to do that now. I'd rather focus on our future with the baby. During this conversation when my brother said think about it, my husband says in front of everyone fuck that I don't want to feed those people, we are going to Calgary. I was very upset at this because firstly he wasn't supposed to mention Calgary and secondly the way he said it was so rude. My husband noticed my mood changed and asked me what was wrong. When I told him privately why I was upset he got mad at me for my feelings and decided he wanted to leave the barbecue.

Keep in mind we came in one vehicle and we had the puppy with us and all his stuff. The barbecue was pretty much done so really we were going to leave soon anyways, but my husband made a production of looking for car keys and making a grand exit. When he couldn't find the keys, he kept rudely asking me to, to give him the fucking keys. We were by the front door and I told him to go outside and calm down, give me a few minutes to pack up the puppy and we could leave together, but he was adamant. When I didn't give him the keys, he raised his voice and started swearing more and that's

when my brother came to see the commotion. He got into a verbal argument with my brother and my sill dragged my brother away, but words were still exchanged. I was crying at this point because he's never been this way in front of my family. I gave him the keys and he ran the keys and he ran the way. to the car. I went after him to get to calm down and wait for me, but he drove off while I was standing right there. The neighbors saw and it was such commotion. I know in hindsight I should have just given him the keys, but in the moment I really didn't think along those lines and I was

worried about how it would look that he just drove off and left me and our puppy behind and I'd have to ask one of them for a ride home. When I tried to call him on the drive, he said it was all my fault that I caused his character to be assassinated in front of my family. My maternal grandparents live with my mom and heard the yelling too that I don't respect him and I should have just obeyed him. When I got dropped off my mom was afraid to let me be alone with him, but I told her I'd be okay and thought we could talk it out. In trying to talk, he continued to say it was all my fault, but I felt that he was to blame

too as he could have just left and called an Uber or gone for a walk instead of raising his voice and bringing the unwanted attention. I didn't like that he didn't consider for one second how his pregnant wife and puppy were going to get home. Talking led to more fighting and airing of a lot of dirty laundry. All the repressed feeling and resent bubbles over and things from past fight surfaced. This back and forth of arguing and talking has been going on for the past two days. We both haven't gone into work and are questioning if we should be together. I don't know if divorce is the answer here but what I'm really wondering is if he's right.

Was it my fault and was I being disrespectful? Do we try to reconcile or let this relationship go? Any insight is appreciated and thank you in advance. Additional info, hi everyone, thank you very much for everything that you have said. I have literally read every single comment and thought I should provide more info. One, it should say husband blew up at a barbecue. Two, neither of us drinks. This happened while sober.

3. Some people are wondering if we see my family too much and it might be a lot for my husband to handle. We see them maybe once a week or once every two weeks typically on the weekend. Often it's only a drop in to say hello or grab some food. More often I drop in on my own. 4. Some people think my family might be too involved in our relationship. My husband has often said that my family has done more for him than any of his family has. And in fact, when he first had the idea of moving to Calgary, he suggested that we tell my mom right away and move her out there with us. My husband is willing to have my mom move in with us to assist with child care.

Also, my extended family has experienced a lot and are very knowledgeable when it comes to life lessons like buying a home and it's always my husband's idea to seek them out and ask for their advice before we do something. 5. My husband knows I'm pregnant as we have been trying for a few months. He was the first person I told and my mother second. 6. Yes, I did say that he's never blown up like that in front of my family before, but he is in front of me many times. Sometimes our arguments go to the point where he says that he's going to leave or start shouting at me angrily. I'm not going to say I'm completely blameless as I do shout back, but at the end of most of them, I end up crying apologizing and then we are

are good again. Seven, for those wondering about culture being at play. We are both first generation North American. He was born in the USA and I was born in Canada. He's a dual citizen. We are both of South Asian descent but come from different religious backgrounds. Neither of us is particularly religious but we respect that our parents are. Update, we have been talking and arguing on and off since all of this has gone on and I even showed him a lot of the comments. He thinks the comments are not worth putting stock into because everyone who commented was not there in the situation. I asked him to read my post and tell me if I made an error in recounting what happened, but he didn't find one and felt that I was accurate. I suggested we do counseling as I suspect that this blow up has some roots in his anger issues which have been unresolved since his family sort of fell apart.

He goes back and forth agreeing to do counseling and then saying that he doesn't want to. He thinks that I need to be the first to apologize and beg for his forgiveness and then he can apologize for the subsequent things that he did after. When he says obey he means it in the traditional sense where women in the relationship are subservient to their husband. For those who wondered about our financial situation, it's not good. He lost his job two months ago and has put in to return to his former place of employment. He's still the process as it takes time even to be rehired. During this time he has been home while I continue to work. He had received a huge retro pay before all of this and promised to buy me a ring with that money.

When he lost his job, the smart thing to do was use that money to help ensure we could get by and that's what we have been doing. But that also meant my ring got put on the back burner. I'm not going to lie that I wasn't annoyed by that because my ring has always been on the back burner, but I also know that the smart thing was to hold on to that money to get us by. During our arguments, I finally was able to express how I've been feeling in our relationship. I let him know that for the last seven years I felt like he was very dismissive and devalued how I felt about anything. Whether the issue be big or small, any time I expressed my feelings towards something I was often met with comments like I don't want to hear it or was brushed off. So for the course of our relationship, I've often had to push down my feelings so that it wouldn't cause a rift between us and these last few days all of that bubbled over.

He felt that I was explaining all of this out of the blue and under the influence of my mother. I tried to explain that it feels out of the blue for him because each time I tried to express myself in the past, he shut me down so now for him it's the first time. He believes I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill. That the trivial things he does or certain behaviors he exhibits are not as bad as things could be. For example, when I say he has some anger and attitude issues to work out his reply is that I should be grateful that it's only that minor and that. that he's not actually being physically abusive. That the girl who gets beaten and starved and raped has it worse than my problems are. I don't think that's a fair comparison to make.

I'm not saying those women have it easy, of course not, but problems in our relationship that matter to me should be considered important too. He asked me to make a list of the issues I have with him. And with each item he provided one or two examples where he proved otherwise, but what he doesn't seem to grasp is that it's the overall lack of effort in our marriage that bothers me. One example of this is that I work longer hours than he does. Also my commute is about an hour if not more. So during these two months while I'm at work and he's home it bothers me to come home and see his lunch plate sitting on the table.

I don't get why he can't pick up after himself especially if he is home all day. He says that's a minor thing but I think it boils down to respect. I'm the one who was at work all day and is tired when I come home so to leave it for me makes me feel disrespected. His response to this is to show me videos of women saying they put up with their husband's minor flaws because of what he provides. TbH I know this is a minor flaw and if we were sitting together I have no issues grabbing his plate with mine when we get up from the table but I feel like it's different when he's home and I'm working. We eventually got to the point where he started crying and said he didn't know that I thought he was such a terrible person and he can't believe that I've been miserable for the last seven years. That we should get a divorce because I'm so unhappy. He also said that he tried his best with his limited means and it saddens him that it's not enough for me.

That despite his lack of knowledge he tried to make my life easier and give me opportunities to use my knowledge and skills to help our family. This is where my heart starts to break for him because I know that he was at a disadvantage due to his family falling apart. He didn't get to learn certain skills or have a role model to look up to. I feel pain when he says those things because I know I'm the only person in his corner to help him. I just feel like not everyone grows up with the same opportunities as everyone else, but if you want to succeed in life, then you got to put in some effort and hard work. If you don't know something, learn it. If you're unsure about something, find someone to ask. Eventually we ended up at a stalemate. I said I thought counseling would benefit us and especially him and he says that he would only do it if I apologize to him for letting this fight go on for too long. that I should have begged for his forgiveness already and be a good wife.

Then and only then would he consider therapy. I feel like I couldn't look myself in the eye if I did that. I know some people thought I should have just given him the keys that day, but in the heat of the moment that didn't happen. I feel like there's a million and one things he could have done differently too. So I shouldn't be the one to apologize. And his actions after that day due to his uncontrollable anger are far worse than my not giving him the keys. During this stalemate, he starts to say that once he leaves me I'll have what's

coming to be because I'll be 34 and single and alone. I won't be able to find a man and I'll look back and regret this. I really feel like despite my better judgment, I tried my best to salvage whatever I could of this relationship. But if he can't give me effort to try to work on it, then we are doomed. I am seeking out counseling for myself as I know that there's a lot for me to talk through. I don't know about the baby yet. I have my age to consider and that I've always wanted to be a mom. I have my family to support me if I do end up being a single mom. What I want to know is, at any time during all of this, should I have done something differently?

Next story, family never invited me to events and always forgot about me. This Christmas they planned a cabin trip without me, and my nieces accidentally told me. So I, 29M, am an oops baby, something that my family has constantly reminded me of, since I was little, because it's funny. My brother, 44, sister, 42, sister, 39, were all planned by our parents. I was the result of a drunk and fun night on New Year's Eve, according to my dad. I've never been close to my siblings due to the large age gap. My parents will never mean, but never went out of their way to show me the same love that my siblings get, at least that is how it's always felt. For instance, when I was younger I was in choir.

I used to love to sing, but no one in the family ever came to see me sing. I was told we are busy or we have other plans, so I gave up singing. But I remember them going to my other siblings dance things. So I gave up on doing anything other than working on my computer and playing with my friends. I stuck to just getting good with computers and in doing so, ended up in a good job where I've been working for almost 10 years now. Started at the bottom of IT and now I've worked my way up to being a manager for about 15 people. However being in IT means I have to occasionally miss out on family events as well as some holidays because where I work it's 24 to 7 split into 12-hour shifts.

Due to this, over the years, I've been accidentally forgotten to be invited because we figured you were working without actually asking me. This has been a recurring issue with my family. Forgetting to ask me to join them or making excuses as to why I wasn't. invited. However, one thing I could always rely on was being able to show up on Christmas Eve, that's when we celebrate Christmas, and still feel like I belonged, even if it was later in the evening. Most of the love I felt came from my nieces, who always think of me as the cool uncle and are always happy to see me. Happened to stop over at my folks yesterday and while there I saw

my nieces, folks tend to watch them on the weekends that's a whole different story. But my nieces started asking if I was excited for Christmas as we get to hang out in a cabin this year. I looked confused and asked my mom what they were talking about and she looked obviously embarrassed and said everyone made plans back in June to celebrate in a rental cabin in Vermont for Christmas. L.O.L. I kid you not, she looked at me and said we all figured you had to work again and couldn't get the time off. So everyone figured you wouldn't mind missing one Christmas. Had they said something, I could have taken the time off. To say I was in a am heartbroken is an understatement. Like I get I'm an oops baby and not really ever thought of

much, if ever, but to just be left alone for the Christmas on purpose, I mean, how does a family do that to someone? I just turned around, hugged my nieces goodbye and left, didn't even say goodbye to my mom. I pride myself on being a strong individual, especially on how my family has always treated me. But not going to lie, I actually cried on the way home. Never in my life have I felt so. so rejected, especially by people who are supposed to love me. I couldn't even ask her when they planned on telling me or if they planned on telling me. What would happen if I showed up after work and no one was there? I just left, I probably should have, but I was hurting too much to really care at the moment. Now here's my dilemma. I have a new girlfriend, Zoe 27F, and by new,

I mean we've only been going out and seeing each other since just after Thanksgiving. I sent her a text when I got home telling her what happened as I had to talk to someone. She kind of knows about my family, being in such a new relationship I didn't want to unload all my baggage on her. But she does know that me and my family don't have a standard type relationship. Anyway, she has invited me to go with her to celebrate Christmas with her family. I haven't given her an answer yet. In previous relationships, I slash we were together months before the invite to Christmas ever came up. However, this is the first relationship where it's only been a few weeks. So asking people have read it for their advice.

Would going with Zoe to her families be a good idea? Being that this is so new, is there a potential downside? Would it be better to be gracious and thank her for the invite but decline? Or accept the invite and go? By the way, I do have to work Christmas Eve again this year, but not Christmas day, so that's a plus, I guess. L.O.L. I've rambled enough. I've rambled enough. Sorry this thing got a little too long. Update 1, December 29th, 2024. First, thanks for those that commented on my first post. Wasn't really sure if I should go or not, but it was the best decision I ever made.

When I told my GF that I would love to go with her, she was really happy. I did what others suggested and bought a really nice bottle of wine for her family and a few gifts for my GF. I expected a bit of awkwardness when we arrived but not. none of that happened. When we arrived and I met her family, I was treated just like I belonged there. I had a great time. We had some really great food and played some games. And overall it was a great experience and much different than any Christmas I ever had with my family. Speaking of which, they slash mom called me while I was at my GF's family. I don't think they were happy about it by the tone of her voice, L.O.L. When they called, we were in the middle of playing

Pictionary, and everyone was having a good time. She asked where I was, and I told her. I wished her a Merry Christmas and hung up the phone, and then turned it off. I wasn't going to let her slash them ruin a good time. When it was time to go, everyone thanked me for coming and said they hoped I had a good time. I don't think I could wipe the smile off my face even if I wanted to. It was such a nice and loving group of people. I know this relationship is still super new, but the amount of love I received from my GF and family really makes me hope that this works out. I've never felt in my whole life what I felt on Christmas. As someone posted on my first post, it felt like a hallmark movie of sorts. I know it's just all the new feelings, but if anything I've learned, I deserve

more than what little my family gives me. Thanks again, everyone, for talking me into going. Best decision ever. Update 2, January 7th, 2025. Still getting lots of requests for an update. So here to give a final update of the fallout. Again, want to thank everyone for their kind words and taking the time to comment. Felt good to know so many kind people are on Reddit. Well, I finally had a talk with my mom and dad yesterday after work.

I told them the amount of disrespect and dismissiveness I've received from them, and the rest of the family will no longer be acceptable. That for years I've put up with the mental and emotional abuse from them, thinking that is what family was. However, after spending time with my girlfriend's family, I realized how toxic they are. Of course, my mom tried to gaslight me into saying I was overreacting and making things sound worse than they actually were.

So I pointed out time after time how they disregarded me, made me feel unwanted and forgotten. How I was always was treated as an afterthought, because I didn't fit into their perfect family picture. Christmas being a prime example, I told them at least for the foreseeable future that I won't be coming to any family-related events and I'll call them.

Don't call me. That I deserved better, that I deserved more than what they've been giving me. I pointed out how she got upset that I was having a good time with someone else's family, proves my point. Maybe in time we can try to rebuild some kind of relationship, but for now, I'm walking away

and putting myself first for once. My dad nodded his head understanding, I think, for the first time how they've treated me. Mom started crying and I had to walk away and it was clearly a guilt trip. Also texted my brother and sisters, as to keep Mom from manipulating what was said. The older two think I'm being petty and overreacting too, but I expected as much. By my youngest sister, Nisa's mom, seems to understand and said I was still welcome to see them if I wanted. Outside of that, not much else. I've been invited to Easter dinner by my GF and her family, so looking forward to that.

I know it's a ways off but nice to know that I apparently made a good impression that they've invited me back. Thanks again for all the comments. It really helped me. I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse persuaded me to resign from my occupation before abandoning me while expecting a child, and persuaded my mother to provide testimony against me in the legal system. Many years later, my mother discovered that he had digitally altered photographs. Fake evidence.

I've had a really rough couple of years recently, but I'm just managing to get back on my own two feet this year and it's been difficult, especially since I don't have any support from anyone. I blame my ex-husband for most of this because he's the one who pretty much ruined my life and left me on my own about a year ago. My ex-husband, Ezra and I had been together for two years before we got married. We were married for three years before he decided to leave me last year, while I was in the second trimester of my pregnancy.

Ezra and I met when we were 22, just starting out as a couple of new employees in the same company. We worked together for a few months before he finally asked me out, and then, we started dating. While we were dating, everything was great, and soon enough, we decided to get married. After that, everything started going wrong for me because I think knowing that I had a ring on my finger now, and I was totally committed to him made him take me for granted. At first, he talked me into quitting my job so I could stay at home full-time and take care of the household. I was a little skeptical about it initially, but then, I decided to go for it because my mother herself had been a psalm and my dad had always treated her very respectfully. But unfortunately, I did not realize that Ezra was nothing like my father and within half a year of me quitting my job, we started having trouble with money.

He and I used to work in sales, so it was all commission-based and I guess he was not doing well. So I tried to talk to him about going back to work again since we were clearly struggling with money but he got really egoistic and accused me of not trusting him to be competent and capable enough of managing the finances on his own. He told me to stick to my work around the house and not worry about the money, and we started fighting about these things because I thought that he was being very disrespectful towards me, especially given the fact that due to our lifestyle, we had to rely on my savings way more than I would have liked to. But after every fight, he would always apologize to me and emotionally manipulate me into forgiving him. I really loved him, and I wanted to make it work, so I would end up forgiving him in spite of myself. This ended up turning into a cycle, he would

disrespect me and then apologize to me and make it up to me and I would end up staying. It was all very emotionally exhausting but at the time, I still had this faith that I could make it work with him. I put up with it for a really long time, but even that was not enough for him to stay and he filed for a divorce eventually. And to make sure that he wouldn't have to pay any alimony, he went above and beyond in his attempts to make me look like a cheater. Last year, when I was around 10 weeks pregnant, my ex-boyfriend from high school reached out to me and asked me to meet him for coffee. I don't think it would have been a big deal if we had just been a short-term fling, but unfortunately, he and I had a really long history. We had started dating when we

were just 13 and he had my first and only serious boyfriend before I met Ezra. My ex, I'll call him David, and I had been together for almost six years before we mutually decided to break up in college. He had chosen to go to college out of state and we tried to make it work long distance for a year, but it just wasn't going well and we started to have a lot of misunderstandings. So instead of letting it drag on and end on a bad note, we decided to end on a good note in mutually parted ways. After that, we tried to stay friends for a while but we just drifted apart gradually. And after I met Ezra, nobody else stood the chance because I was head over heels in love with him. Ezra knew about David and he had never had an issue with it, so when I asked him if I could meet David for coffee

since we hadn't seen each other for a really long time, Ezra agreed to let me go without any complaints. I had gotten to know from a couple of old friends that after he had graduated from college, David hadn't come back and had moved to New Zealand to stay with his uncle and had been working there ever since. After that, he rarely ever visited, and even when he would, he would only see his family and go back quickly.

So last year, he had taken a proper vacation to come back home and meet everyone, and that's why he had asked me to meet him as well, for old time's sake. Ezra knew about all of this because I had even made him read the message that David had sent to me, and it was purely platonic. There was nothing romantic about it at all. But in spite of that, when he brought it up in court, he made it sound like I had always been in love with David

and that meeting at the coffee shop had been the first of many secret meetings. Even though it was the one and only time that I had met him after our breakup. He didn't have any evidence. He just claimed that he had seen me and David, holding hands together but hadn't managed to get a picture because he was so horrified and what was worse was that he managed to get a couple of our mutual friends to testify against me too. However, what really sealed it for me was my mom's decision to believe Ezra and testify against me. We had been having our usual fights while I was pregnant anyway, but as time went on, the fights

got worse because he started getting more agitated about the finances, and with a baby on the way, I couldn't even blame him for it. So I tried my best to cut down on our expenses. but even that would make him mad so I just decided to rely on my own savings without telling him so he wouldn't get mad at me for questioning his competency to support us on his own. But I guess none of that was enough because eventually, he served me with divorce papers after one fight since I hadn't spoken to him for about a week, but that was just because he had called me and our baby parasites and I couldn't stand for it because he was the one who had made me quit my job and told me that he would handle everything.

For me, I wasn't even mad about the fact that he had been calling me names, but the fact that he had even dragged our unborn kid into it, was unacceptable. When he served me with the divorce papers, I was beyond shocked, and my first instinct was to apologize to him, to beg him to stay but even after that for hours, it did not work and he told me that he was going to leave that day itself and that he wanted nothing to do with me or the child anymore. And true to his word, he packed his stuff and left and soon enough, he sent me legal documents seeking to terminate his parental rights. A court hearing would be held soon, and all I have to be held. And all I have to do was respond and attend. But that was only about the custody of our child, the divorce was a

whole mess that I still had to deal with. So I got in touch with a friend of mine who works in a law firm and she put me in touch with one of their best divorce attorneys and even paid for me since I could barely afford her. It took me a week to make up my mind about what to do but eventually, I decided to go through with the divorce, but on my terms. I had been very unhappy in this marriage anyway and realized that the only reason I had been begging him to to stay was because that's just what I was used to, I was used to him, but if I was getting the opportunity to start again, it would be foolish to let it go. Especially given the fact that I was going to become a mother soon, I did not want to let my bad decisions ruin my child's life. So I decided to agree to the

divorce, but I wanted alimony to be able to support myself, at least until I'd made enough money after I started working. I thought that it was fair enough because Ezra himself had convinced me to quit my job earlier and filed for a divorce now, it was on him to make sure that I was taken care of. That's where the problem started because he was not willing to pay alimony at all, and he started manipulating and starting the fact to make me look like a flirt who would constantly hit on other people right in front of him. And apparently I'd also been living off of his money for the past three years after quitting my job on my own and expecting him to take care of everything. He even claimed that the baby hadn't even been his idea. He had not been

fine with it, but I had still gone ahead with the pregnancy in spite of his protests. So no, he did not think that he owed me any alimony because it was the only way for me to get more money out of him after he had completely drained his savings, which is what I had done and not him. The only way he had drained his savings was while trying to impress people, while I had actually drained my savings trying to support us without relying on him too much. And then, of course, he started accusing me of having an affair with David and said that he had personally seen us together but had apparently forgiven me because he wanted to make it work, but now, he couldn't do that anymore.

Things got really messy and ugly, and I got my friends to testify for me by telling the truth, but he got his friends to completely character assassinate me and make me out to be some sort of gold-digging flirt. I even got David to testify and acknowledge that he had only been here for. for about a month before he went back to New Zealand and he had only met me once but Ezra claimed that we were lying and I guess somehow. He even got to my mother ultimately. The final nail in the coffin was my mother's decision to testify against me and claim that it was totally believable that I was having an affair with David because I had always had a soft corner for him and as far as she

knew Ezra, he would never do anything to hurt me, so I was probably lying. And when we finally wrapped up the entire thing, I did not get any alimony and my mother cut me off as well. He also managed to get out of being a responsible father by terminating his rights, but I'm glad that it happened because I wouldn't want somebody like him to be a part of my son's life anyway. At least I still get child support, no matter how small the amount is. After the divorce, when I realized that I was not going to get any support, I decided not to waste any time crying over spilled milk and started applying for jobs immediately. The divorce had been finalized a month after my son was born and since I had been heavily pregnant while I was in the process of getting divorced, nobody was willing to hire me so I had been living with my friend who had put me in touch with the lawyer and she had been kind enough

to bear all my expenses too. After I gave birth, I got a job within a month and I started working again. It didn't pay much and I couldn't afford to move out of my friend's house for the first couple of months, but eventually, once I had saved enough, I moved into a small apartment. Everything has been a huge struggle for me but with a little help from my friends and a few family members, I've been able to make it work while juggling work and motherhood. I've always felt very guilty leaving my son with other people while I'm at work, but I know that I had to do it. And to make up for that guilt, I decided to splurge on my son's first birthday party that's coming up in a week.

I've already sent out the invitations to all my friends, my family members who have been helping out, and a couple of my coworkers. It's going to be a bit expensive, but I'm going to be a bit expensive, but I'm going to I just got a new job two months ago and it pays much better, so I can afford to splurge a little. Besides, I've already started repaying all my debts so I figured I could afford to spend a little on my son as well. But somehow, my mother found out that I was throwing a birthday party for my son, and she was really offended that she hadn't been invited, which I think is very surprising, given the fact that she is the reason I'm having to struggle so hard to be able to give my son a good life.

She unblocked me on social media and reached out to me a few days back and did not even bother to apologize to me. She just started acting entitled right away and told me that she was very offended that she hadn't been invited to my son's birthday party. Even though she was the grandmother and probably the only grandparent in the picture since my in-laws don't have any contact with me and my dad had passed away a few years back. So, she went on to accuse me of alienating her grandchild from her and demanded that I invite her. and she didn't stop demanding an invitation. She said that now she wanted to be actively involved in her grandson's life, and she wasn't going to tolerate my narcissistic and selfish behavior anymore. I was shocked that she had the audacity to say something like that,

especially after everything that she had done. Not only did she make me lose out on the alimony with her testimony against me, but she had been the one to cut me off and block me everywhere after Ezra manipulated her. I'm not sure how somebody can get manipulated to testify against their own daughter but well, that's what happened and it clearly means that she doesn't love or trust me enough. And I still remember that after her testimony, when I had reached out to her to confront her and ask why on earth would she do something like that, she had replied to me saying that she wanted nothing to do with me or my fatherless son and that she did not owe me an explanation

for what she had done because I was a cheater and I had failed her. After that, she had been the one to block me so I really think that she is the narcissistic, and selfish one here because she didn't even bother to apologize. She just started making demands as if she was entitled to it. So when I read that message from her, I lost my temper, and I replied immediately, saying that I was not going to invite her to any event and she didn't deserve to be a part of my life or my son's life anymore. She's a huge part of the reason why we had been struggling for the past year and now,

since she can't fix our life, she doesn't deserve to be a part of it either. Then, I blocked her and I thought that would be the end, but now, she has started contacting all my friends, family members who were close to me, and even a couple of my acquaintances from school, to try and get me to talk to her again so she could explain why she had done what she did in the past. She's been telling everyone that she wants me to know that she's sorry about how she had treated me and she's even apologetic about her tone and the message that she sent me recently. But she just needed one chance to talk to me and explain whatever was going on with her so I could. of all the facts and then make up my mind about whether I wanted her in my life or not. But here's the thing, I don't even want to give her a chance to explain. Whatever her reasons were, I don't want to hear it because in my opinion, no reason can ever be good enough to ruin my life as my mother and that's the fact of the matter.

I'm just kind of skeptical about telling people this because it might sound too cold-hearted so I just haven't been responding to anybody yet and I've been in two minds about what to say, so why'd I for not wanting to hear my mother out about why she testified against me during my divorce. Update 1, I have decided that I'm not going to change my mind. I thought about it, long and hard, and I literally could not think of a single explanation that she could give to me where I would feel like forgiving her. Whatever she did, it was unforgivable and now I want nothing to do with her and that's what I've told all my friends and family members who she has been reaching out to. I told them that I really appreciated the fact that they passed on the message to me, but I really

want nothing to do with her, and if she contacts them again, I want them to just block her because this is not something that they need to be involved and I don't understand why she's been dragging them into it anyway. It's been a few days since then and my son's birthday is in just two days, so that's what I'm focusing on. I've already made all the arrangements and stuff, it's just some last-minute stuff, but I'm still trying to keep myself busy so that I don't have to think about the situation with my mother. For a really long time, I've been suppressing all of this, successful in doing so because I'm so busy all the time that I hardly have time to think about whatever has happened in my life. I keep myself occupied and it's very easy to do that so that I don't

have to think about all the things from last year and even from before that because it's not like Ezra and I was never problematic in the beginning. We were always just wrong for each other. But now, because my mother had reached out to me, it became a little difficult for me to say none of that had ever happened and just keep moving on with my life. I had allowed myself to get weak for a couple of days and let this take over my life, but I'm back to normal now. I know that I have to power through all of this for my son and that's what I'm going to be doing. I have no time for people like them. I know it's probably not a very healthy approach before anybody decides to comment on it.

I'm aware of it, but I can't really afford therapy right now, not only financially but also I really just don't have the time for it. Maybe someday when I'll be slightly more financially stable. I'll think about unpacking all of this with a professional but until then, I guess I'll just keep doing whatever has worked until now. But anyway, all that aside, thank you so much to everybody who commented on my post with advice for me. It was all really helpful and definitely made me feel much better. Update 2, hey, so my son's birthday was almost two months ago, and back then, after I had told everybody that they should ignore my mom's messages, everybody had done that and she hadn't talked to me after that. In the past year, I had been quite busy so I hadn't been able to attend any family events either and everybody could understand why so it's not like they took offense.

But last week, I finally managed to take some time off and attend my cousin's engagement party with my son. There, I finally met my mother in person after more than a year and I was kind of taken aback to run into her but after they got over my shop, I decided to just ignore her and get on with my day. For the first hour, we did not speak to each other, but then, she came to. came up to me and started making small talk. She seemed very happy to see my son as well and tried to interact with him, but he was really shy, so he just kept hiding behind me. Anyway, there were a lot of people at the party and I did not want to be rude to her and throw a tantrum, so I decided to be polite to her.

I told her a bit about my job and my son, and she told me that she would like to grab some lunch with me soon if I would be open to that. Once again, she started telling me that she had a lot to tell me about everything and that's when I decided to tell her that I was glad that she was trying to make amends, but I really didn't want that for myself right now. I told her that the conversation was over, and then I walked away and surprisingly, she was respectful of it and did not bother me after that. And I've been thinking about it because I might not forgive her even after hearing her out, but I really do want to know what she has to say. I'm not doing this because I want to salvage our relationship or whatever.

I don't have any hopes like that, but it's purely out of curiosity that I want to meet her and hear her out. I have been thinking about it ever since I met her, and I have even spoken to a couple of friends about it. They think that if I want to get an explanation and maybe get some closure, then I definitely should talk to her because it'll probably help me. So after giving it a lot of thought, I decided to reach out to her after unblocking her yesterday and I told her that I would like to grab lunch with her today. I'm not taking my son with me because I'm not sure if I want to forgive her or not, and if I don't, I don't want her to get attached or whatever. Update 3, so I came back from lunch with my mom about two hours ago and, boy, there's a lot

to unpack here. As soon as I got to the restaurant, she started thanking me for even showing up, and once we had ordered some food, she did not waste any time beating about the bush and immediately started telling me the last year. Ezra had visited her and shown her a lot of screenshots and pictures and totally convinced her that I had been cheating on him with David. He had even gone to the extent of showing her a screenshot from David, where he was bragging about how the two of us were going to take his money and go off to live together. He had told my mother that he hadn't presented any of this to his lawyer because he did not want to humiliate me even more since he still loved me, but I think the real reason he did not bring any of that up was probably because all of that was made up, photoshopped and fully fake. It had been just enough to convince my mother because she didn't have any other way to confirm the truth, and it had probably seemed real to her the experts would have found a out the truth. Anyway, that's how he got her to testify against me and she had been very upset with

me but when she heard about her grandson's first birthday, she felt even more upset because not only was she losing out on time with me since I was a cheater. She was losing out on time with him too just because of my mistakes and that's why she had been so entitled while messaging me first. But after the message that I had sent back to her, she started doubting herself and that's when she reached out to David to ask him if he had sent any message to Ezra and he showed her proof that he never even spoken to Ezra. That made her realize that maybe Ezra had lied to her, so she tried to to contact him and when he hung up on her as soon as she asked him about it, she realized what a huge mistake she had made. So she tried to get everybody to talk to me and get me to unblock her but

by then, it was too late, and I had decided that I did not want to forgive her or even hear her out. She could totally understand why I did not want to give her a chance because she told me that if she had been in my place, she probably wouldn't have wanted to hear me out either because this was a huge betrayal, so she did not bother me further. She had been trying to be respectful of my boundaries, but she knew that she wanted me to know the truth about what had happened because now, she felt like she could finally help me out and maybe we go back to court again and get Ezra to pay the alimony that he owed me. Since the only way he got out of it the first time was by accusing me of cheating and lying about everything. So we definitely had grounds to

ask for alimony now and with her help, she believed that we could get it done. It was a lot of to process and I didn't know how to feel about any of it, so I just told her that I needed some time to think things over and that's what I'm going to be doing now because all of this has been heavy and I feel really weird right now. I don't know if I want to forgive her, I don't know if I even can because I've gotten used to being mad at her. I'm trying to understand her point of view as well, but it's difficult. I don't know if I should go back to court and demand alimony again if there's even any point to it anymore and I just don't have any answers for anything right now. I guess I'll have to take my time and think about everything before I do something.

Update 4. Hey, guys. So, it's been close to six months since my last update, and here's the deal. I decided to go back to court to enforce alimony payments and we went through the whole negotiations and stuff again, but this time, my mother was on my side. And I even reached out to all his friends who had testified against me the first time around. He had manipulated them the first time, so I decided to do the same. thing and I played the most emotional card I could think of, the I'm a struggling single mother all because of you guys' card.

Technically, I wouldn't even call it a card that I paid because it was just the truth that I used against them. And I guess a lot of them were already feeling quite guilty for testifying against me and they were ready to testify in my favor this time with the truth. When I told Ezra about it, I said that I was willing to give him a chance to settle out of court as long as he coughed up the money that he owed me and I guess he knew that there was no way out of it anymore, so he decided to agree and now, I'm going to be receiving checks every month until I decide to remarry. And if I wanted to get back at him, I would have decided

not to marry ever again, but I don't think I'm going to do that because I have recently started talking to David again. He reached out to me recently to apologize for not telling me about it when my mother had contacted him to ask about whether he had ever spoken to Ezra, back when she was trying to confirm if Ezra had lied to her or not. He told me that he had wanted to bring it up with me, but at the time, we hadn't been on talking terms because of the divorce and everything and it was just awkward. He reached out to me back then and since then, we've just never stopped talking. We are still figuring things out, but I have started developing feelings for him again and he has confessed that he never really fell out of love with me anyway, which is why he hasn't been able to get

serious with anyone. He lives in New Zealand and keeps trying to get me to visit him, and I might do that soon. My mother and I are also working things out and it's going well so far. Honestly, I'm just figuring things out for myself at the moment and I'm not too sure about anything but I know that I'm loved and that's all that matters. But my priority right now is my son and that'll always be true no matter what happens. I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse compelled me to resign from my employment and subsequently abandoned me for his personal assistant. During our child, his child's birthday celebration, he appeared with his paramour to shame me. Front of everyone.

This happened with my ex-husband, Kevin, 38M, a little less than a week ago. Kevin is a textbook narcissist, and he hides these traits really well, covering them up brilliantly, so I fell for it. I, 36F, have known him for the past 14 years. He was on the same team as me at my first job, and he was kind of a mentor to me initially. He taught me the ropes of the work and was there to help me out whenever I felt stuck, but he never tried to hit on me at work. He was never indecent, never made any sort of advances, or behaved in a way that made me feel something was up. Two years later, when I was 24 and he was 26, he switched jobs. On his last day at the office, he pulled me aside and told me that he liked me

a lot and had wanted to date me but never said anything because he didn't want to make things awkward between us at work. More than me liking him, I was floored by his honesty, and I had always known that he was a kind and good man, so I said yes. We dated for a short while before we made things official, and we had been together ever since. We faced life together, but last year, he left me for his personal secretary, Emma, and it's as though he became a new man altogether. At first, I thought this was some weird sort of midlife crisis, given how he was behaving and how abruptly things went south, but it was like he had become a completely different person. The fact that he would throw away 11 years of being together was shocking to me, and in the initial weeks after he told me he

wanted a divorce, I couldn't fathom exactly why something like this would happen. But I've been to therapy ever since the divorce, and there I learned that beneath all that nice guy exterior lay the biggest a-hole and gas-lighter, who would make sure you lose your friends, your sanity, and your self-confidence before giving you the biggest blow of your life. And all of the this happened so gradually that you don't even realize it, but you've changed into a shell of your former that's exactly what happened to me. He didn't show me a single red flag at first, but revealed his true colors gradually. Kevin and I got married three years into dating. I was 27, and he was 29. Both of us were working at the time, and I had never told him or even

indicated that I wanted to leave work and stay at home. That was just not me. I had worked very hard to be where I was, and I had never imagined that one day I wouldn't be working. However, a few months after we got married, there was a management change at my company, and I was laid off. I was devastated because I hadn't seen it coming. I was actually the top performer at the firm and had never anticipated they would let me go. I'd tried applying for jobs, but I didn't receive many callbacks. The ones I did get severely underpaid me. I asked Kevin to help me out with applications and to refer me to some places. He said he would, but he never did. He was very vague about the entire situation, and to be honest, that should have been my first sign to run, but I trusted and loved him

too much to even comprehend that he'd pull something like this. Surprisingly, during the whole job hunting ordeal, I got pregnant. It was very unusual because we'd always been careful, and I was on birth control, but I guess those things fail sometimes. Kevin told me that it was best if I stopped looking for jobs for now because we had a baby on the way. This was immediately after the doctor's appointment, maybe seven to eight weeks into my pregnancy. I told him that the baby still had a long way to go, and I wasn't stopping my career. He said he agreed with me, ha-ha, liar, but he just felt all this stress about the job and the baby would be detrimental to me and that at this point, I should take one thing at a time. He was so nice and sensible about it that

I was convinced. He told me he was earning enough to support both of us and that finances should be the least of my concerns. That felt very reassuring, so I decided to halt the job search. And that's exactly what he wanted. I hope that once I felt better, I'd start looking for jobs again, but somehow that never happened. When I broached the subject again, I was already four months pregnant, and he said I should wait a bit longer. Then, my second trimester was hell. I was in constant pain, throwing up almost every day. It was a disaster, and it ended in disaster too, because a month later, I lost the baby. It was probably the darkest period of my life, and I never wish for anyone to go through that grief.

And through it all, I didn't feel as supported as I should have. I had a mental health spiral for a couple of months, and it was a while before I felt better or like myself again. When I decided I wanted to apply for jobs again, Kevin seemed pretty against the idea. He didn't say anything directly, but he wasn't enthusiastic. He subtly implied that I had been out of the workforce for too long and that it would be hard for me to land a job and explain the hiatus. I felt very discouraged. Gradually, I stopped believing in myself and stopped applying for jobs. He showed support, saying that I didn't need to worry, we should focus on starting a family.

and that finances were his concern. I believed him, and I felt like I'd never fit into the office space again, so I focused on the house and family. This was exactly what he wanted. He had completely transformed me, bit by bit, eroded my sense of self, and made me lose all belief in myself. It happened so gradually that I didn't even realize it. And I don't just blame him. I should have been smarter, no doubt about that. But when the one person you'd trust so completely tries to tear you down, you begin to believe their version of things, and that's what happened. I focused on the family, and six years ago, we conceived again. I was overjoyed and very careful this time around. I could not bear to face what I had before.

Five years ago, we had our son, Jeremiah, Jerry. Kevin doted on but he and I grew apart. I chalked it up to us both having new responsibilities and not being able to make as much time for each other. It wasn't something that would crumble the marriage. We discussed it a few times, so I thought everything was fine. There were hiccups here and there, but that's all there were hiccups. Everything came crashing down a year and a half ago when I found out Kevin was cheating on me. I found chats and photos on his phone, and there was not much left to the imagination. Instead of playing it smart and planning my exit, I acted impulsively and smashed his phone in his face. Things went downhill immediately. He tried defending himself in all sorts of ways.

First, he said it was nothing, then he said all men do it, and finally, he said I was neglecting him, forcing him to seek company elsewhere. He went through the typical abuser cycle, deny it happened, minimize what happened, deflect blame, and finally accuse the other person of overreacting because it isn't a big deal anyway. Well, it was a big deal to me, and I went ahead. with the divorce. Kevin was shocked because he never thought I'd actually go all out and leave him. He probably thought that since I was financially dependent on him, I wouldn't leave and would try to patch things up, especially since we had a child together. I won't lie, I had thought about forgiving him because all these things crossed my mind. But somehow, good sense prevailed, and I realized I couldn't

deal with this disrespect. I also knew that if I gave him a chance, he'd just do it all over again. He's not the kind of person to feel guilty and fix his mistakes. He's the kind of guy who tests how much one can tolerate and keeps pushing that boundary until the person collapses. I don't know what kind of sick pleasure he gets from this, but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. He resisted the divorce, and I was forced to involve his family. To my surprise and his shock, all of them supported me during the divorce. His father went so far as to disown him, and they still don't speak. but both my Mill and Phil are actively involved in Jerry's in my life, and I'm so grateful for that.

Not once did they suggest that I try to get back together with him and work things out. They were clear and unwavering in their support. I was never asked to keep the peace, and they said they'd support me and their grandson all the way. Even my sill, Simone, who I'd never been close with before, was incredibly supportive during the divorce and has stood by me like a rock since. Kevin never anticipated his own family would turn on him and take my side, and by the time he realized what he was losing, it was too late. Now, I live with Jerry, and I have full custody of him. Kevin is a loud visitation, and that suits me because I don't want my son near his new girlfriend, who, in my eyes, is practically still a kid. She's just 22, while Kevin is 38, and I don't want my son around such a problematic dynamic. Things came to a head. a few days ago. I had thrown Jerry a birthday party. His friends and some close family were invited,

including my in-laws, Phil, Sil, Mill, and Phil's widowed sister. I had invited Kevin too, but I had made it clear that it was only for him and I didn't want him to bring anyone with him. By that, I meant I didn't want Lilith, the girlfriend, and I hoped he would respect my wishes. But I was very wrong. He waltzed in with his girlfriend an hour late. By that point, Jerry had lost hope of Kevin coming, and he looked so sullen it broke my heart. When Kevin walked in, it was obvious what his real motive was. He didn't come for his son, he came to make his relationship public. And Lilith was dressed completely inappropriately for a kid's party, like she was on her way to a nightclub.

I wanted to slap her right there, but I kept my composure because I didn't want to ruin Jerry's birthday. My Phil was furious and asked me if I wanted him to throw them out, but I told him I didn't want to cause a scene. He took Kevin aside and said something, and I'm sure he gave him an earful, but the damage was done. There was other family and some friends there, and all of them were looking at me with pity. I hated that feeling. I wanted to run to my room and break down, but I didn't because I knew this was exactly what Kevin wanted. All this drama was only to make me break down, nothing else. And I couldn't, under any circumstances, let him win. The mood of the party soured in an instant, and anyone with a functioning brain and nervous system could sense it,

but apparently, that didn't include my ex-husband. He paraded around like everything was normal, trying to strike up conversations with people. The most comforting part for me was that no one was even trying to be courteous or polite to him. They didn't even pretend to like him. He might have hoped that this little stun of his would emotionally maim me. but he didn't think that far ahead. Everyone there was either looking at him with rage or disgust or avoiding him like the plague. This included his own family.

As for Lilith, she was clinging to Kevin like her life depended on it, and I don't think anyone but me even spoke to her. It was getting quite embarrassing for her, and she began to realize it, so, she wasn't as dumb as I thought. She tried engaging with people, but most of them ignored her or spoke past her. These moments of micro-support from people who were, at best, acquaintances warmed my heart. It felt good knowing the people around me wouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior. Things were getting awkward, and Kevin wasn't getting the desired effect, so he did something

downright mean. He knew I was within earshot and, while talking to another parent, had the audacity to say he was glad he was with an ambitious woman now, not a mere housewife like me. I didn't react, which frustrated him, so he pressed the issue. He said Lilith was so full of potential that he felt lucky she chose him, and it was such a contrast from being with me that well, he didn't get to finish his sentence because someone slapped him. I turned around, and it was she had slapped her own brother in front of everyone. There was pin drop silence, and some of the parents left with their children in a few minutes.

I rushed to Jerry, but he looked fine. He was with Mill, distract. so thankfully, he didn't see his dad getting slapped by his favorite aunt. I heard some arguing between Kevin and Simone but couldn't make out what they were saying. When I went over, Simone was laughing hysterically, and Kevin and Lilith looked like they'd just been humiliated beyond repair. I had no idea what Simone had said to make them react that way. All I knew was that it was serious because the formerly smug and arrogant couple was now red-faced with embarrassment. It didn't take them long to leave.

What broke my heart was that Kevin was so wrapped up in his own head that he didn't even say goodbye to Jerry. I had to come up with a story to explain it to Jerry, and thankfully, Mill and Phil were there to salvage the situation. Later, when everything was done, and I had some time to myself, I asked Simone what had happened because I missed the best part of the drama. She told me she was sick and tired of Kevin belittling me and parading his little girlfriend around like she was someone great. She said she knew Kevin had influenced me into staying home, which made his comments even more infuriating. She tried to keep quiet, but she knew she had to do something to wipe the smirks off their faces. That's when she decided to strike below the belt, just like they'd been doing all along. Then, she smirked and told me that she knew something about Lilith that even Kevin didn't know

and used that information to embarrass them at the party, just like they were trying to embarrass me. A few months ago, Simone had been out with a friend. friend at a store and had seen Lilith there alone. Simone and Lilith don't get along well, so she didn't approach her, but she noticed her presence. About half an hour later, Simone saw Lilith arguing with the store manager, and Lilith looked on the verge of tears. Simone intervened, and what she found out shocked her. Lilith had been caught shoplifting, trying to steal hundreds of dollars' worth of makeup products. The manager was furious and on the verge of calling the cops. Simone didn't know what came over her, but she helped Lilith out.

She told me she didn't want me to be mad, but she bought the products and escalated the situation. She took a bawling Lilith out for coffee, where Lilith confided in her that she had always struggled with shoplifting. She started doing it as a kid, and while it was under control for a while, she had relapsed and found it harder to control the urges. Lilith thanked Simone for helping her out, or it would have been a disaster. Simone told me that was the last time they'd spoken, and she hadn't seen Lilith since. But when she saw her acting like a little bitch at the party, she knew she had to do something. Simone said she tried staying quiet for a while, glaring at Lilith the whole time, giving her a chance to shut up and not be obnoxious because she didn't want to stoop to that level.

But when the glares didn't work, she knew spilling the beans was the only way to get Lilith to stop. That's what caused such a commotion. Lilith probably never thought Simone would actually tell everyone about her secret. Maybe Lilith assumed that because Simone was Kevin's sister, her loyalty lay with Kevin and her, not with me, but she was very wrong. I don't know what gave her the impression that Simone and I weren't close maybe she assumed it, or maybe Kevin oversold his relationship with Simone. Whatever the reason, Lilith acted smart and ended up paying for it because,

according to Simone, everyone at the party heard what she said, and there were audible gasps. Kevin was taken aback when Simone exposed her, and that's when I came over to see what was happening. Even though Lilith's dirty laundry was aired in public, and it probably humiliated her, it might make me a bad person, but I'm kind of glad it happened because she honestly deserved it. I don't say this because she stole my husband Kevin is the one majorly at fault for what happened between us. But Lilith is still an a-hole because she chose to get involved with a married man and now act smug about it, like she won some prize. Maybe, to her, Kevin is a prize, but her morals are pretty questionable. That's why I don't feel bad for her. In fact, I think it's hilarious that she was called out publicly,

and I can only thank Simone for standing up for me because I know I would have stayed quiet and kept the peace for Jerry's sake. It feels good to have someone who supports you so unconditionally. I may have lost a husband in the past year, good riddance in hindsight, but I've gained a friend for life. and that holds so much more value. Update 1, it's been a few days since I last updated, and a lot has happened in that time. For the first four to five days after Jerry's party and the whole fiasco, there was radio silence from both Kevin and Lilith. I honestly didn't think they would contact me at all because I wasn't there when Simone exposed

Lilith. I figured the most they'd do was call Simone and harass her, but nothing more. Simone didn't mention anything, so I assumed the drama was all. over. Jerry kept asking why Kevin left so abruptly, and I had to keep making excuses because Kevin wasn't talking to Jerry either. I don't understand how the humiliation was so bad it made him forget he was a father, and that he had a duty to his son, whom he loved more than life itself a year ago. The resentment inside me was building, but then Kevin dropped me a text. It was at 2 a Saturday, and from the way he typed, I knew he was drunk. The messages were, well, unhinged.

It started out very normal like he wanted to catch up with an old friend. It was so casual I thought he might have meant to send it to someone else. Then he sent me a barrage of texts about how sorry he was for leaving me, how cheating was the worst mistake of his life, and how he missed me and the family so much it broke his heart every day. This went on until 5 a.m. I didn't respond because, Frankly, I didn't know what to say. At 5.30, he sent me a voice note, and to be honest, it sounded sincere. It made me tear up a little, but I know better than to believe him. My life has improved since he left, so there's no chance I'd ever consider taking him back.

But he was so heartfelt, it made me sad and nostalgic. In the voice note, he confessed that he had never thought I'd actually go through with the divorce. He said his fling with Lilith was meaningless and went on for far too long. He claimed he had meant to end it but never did, and when I caught him, he still thought there was a chance things would be okay between us. He said the fact that we had a son made him more secure because he believed I wouldn't toss away the whole family just like that. He thought I would forgive him, and when I reacted the way I did, he thought I was acting

on impulse. That's why he put up the act. when he finally understood I was serious about the divorce, it was too late. He said he had always thought I wouldn't leave him and, if he knew it would end this way, he never would have started anything at all. He hasn't sent any texts since, and I haven't responded because I don't know what to say. It's a weird feeling. Therapeutic, in a sense, because now I can see that all his bravado was just a facade,

and he is genuinely affected by the loss of his family. I also feel sad that this is how we ended up, especially since now I know he didn't want this either. Update 2, I've gone through all the comments here, and most of you were right to call me out. Thanks for all the scathing comments because I was spiraling back into my old patterns, and it would have just ended badly for me. I should have been furious after his voice note. That was not an admission of guilt or a desire for repentance on his part. It was just a confession that the reason we're here is because I took a stand for myself, and he was actually counting on me not doing anything about it.

The nostalgia momentarily snapped all my sensible abilities, but now I see my ex-husband as a scumbag through and through. For those of you who suggested I send all this to Lilith to break them up, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I did nothing of the sort. I'm not going to involve myself in their mess. It took me a lot of time and effort to get away from all this, and I'd be a fool to jump back into it. From what I've heard, Lilith and Kevin are breaking up.

She was his secretary, but somehow, management found out about her shoplifting issue, and she's being terminated. This is apparently too much for Kevin to handle, as she's now not good enough for his image, so they're breaking up, or have already broken up. I couldn't care less. He hasn't tried reaching out again, and he hasn't come to visit Jerry even once, which is infuriating, but I can't feel. force him to be apparent. He's been trying to rebuild bridges with Phil and Mill, but they haven't

been responsive. They're still siding with me, and I can't express how thankful I am for their support. Simone has gone completely no contact with him, saying she can't deal with his ST anymore, and I totally understand where she's coming from. It's funny how the tables have turned. Kevin wanted to break me down and isolate me, and now, he's the one with no family and no partner. I know I shouldn't find comfort in this, but I do. It soothes me to see that he's suffering the same fate he wanted me to suffer. If this isn't poetic justice, I don't know what is. I'm just glad I had the guts to leave him, and that Simone exposed Lilith.

She wiped the smirk off his face, and I know it'll be a long time before he gathers the courage or confidence to be smug about anything again. I hope you enjoy this story. sacrificed my university funds to cover my siblings' medical expenses. However, my relatives instructed me to vacate the residence within 48 hours to make room for his girlfriend. In to support him. So I, 18F, had been helping out my sick brother, 26M, financially for the past two years. He had been diagnosed with osteosarcoma two and a half years back, and that made it very difficult for him to find the kind of work that he had been used to so far.

He never went to college because our father passed away around the same time and we had never really had a lot of money to begin with. His passing just made it worse for us because my mother had never worked a day in her life because she got married really young and had always been a stay-at-home mom. My brother was just around 18 at the time and I was just 10 years old. So he had to step it up and start taking care of the family, which is why he had to skip college and start looking for jobs immediately. My mother also did the same and thankfully, we had a few neighbors to help us out in our initial stages while we were still trying to come to terms with my father's passing. He passed away in a car accident, so it was all very sudden, and we did not have any time to prepare ourselves. Luckily, I was old enough to look out for myself by then, so at least they did not have to spend money on child care for me. Even then, there were a lot of expenses and I remember my mom and my brother being extremely stressed out throughout my childhood.

Things were rough, even when my dad was around, since my parents had eloped and so, they did not have anybody looking out for them and had to build a life for themselves from scratch. But at least when my dad was around, everyone was dealing with things happily because he was just the life of the party. He was that guy who could lighten up a room by walking into it. After his death, the reality of the situation started to sink in, and I don't think any of us had been properly happy ever since. Anyway, after my brother's diagnosis, it became very obvious that he couldn't continue the kind of work that he was doing because he had been a warehouse worker ever since he started working. Most of his jobs in the past had involved a lot of physical labor, and we did not want him to risk that after his diagnosis. He had been pushing it anyway, even before, but eventually, he had to give up. My mother still continued to work, but a receptionist's income was not enough for the family.

So I decided to start contributing to the family's expenses as well, and I have been working part-time since I was 14, but instead of saving up that money for college and an apartment, I started contributing to my brother's medical expenses as well. Because without a job, he did not have health care anymore, and we had to pay for everything out of our own pockets. It was extremely expensive, but it had to be done and once in a while, we even had to dip into my mom and brother's savings. Several times, I had suggested that we should appeal to some non-profit organizations or the hospital itself because I'm pretty sure that there are programs for people like us, but my mom and my brother had always been too proud. They believed that as long as they can afford it, they would like to

hold their heads up high and would not accept charity. They did not even allow me to start a go-fund-me campaign for my brother, even though it would be anonymous, and that's how I ended up sacrificing all my savings that I had been putting together since the age of 14 just for my family. family. And in spite of all of that, they had the audacity to kick me out a couple of months ago just because my brother decided that he wanted his girlfriend to move in with him for support. His girlfriend, Maria 22F, has been with him for the past two years. She started dating him a little before his diagnosis, and I expected them to break up by the time he told her about his sickness, but to my surprise, she decided to stick with him. Initially, we didn't know much about her,

she was very shy, and every time that she would visit, she would only talk to my brother and then leave. We had insisted that she have dinner at our place, but she always refused, saying that she had to go back to her aunt. It was later on that we found out that she was an orphan, her parents had left her with her aunt before going on vacation and unfortunately, they never came back. It is still not known whether they got into an accident or not, but it's unlikely that they have been well and alive for so many years and haven't bothered to contact her. Even if they are alive, they are as good as dead to her because she has spent her entire life without them. She comes from a similar financial background and she met my brother when she started working

at the coffee shop opposite my brother's workplace. I really liked her in the beginning. She seemed quiet but sweet and after she began to open up to us. I thought that she and my brother could really make it since she was willing to stand by him, even in such dire circumstances. But eventually, I started to see her differently when I found out that my brother would help her out financially as well. He would occasionally tell us that he had given a certain amount of money to her for her expenses because apparently, her aunt did not treat her well at all, and she really needed the money so she could put together a reasonable amount and move out eventually. After she had turned 18, her aunt did not allow her to live with her for free and forced her to get a job so she could pay rent and contribute

all the other expenses as well. And she was struggling to keep up with that as well as putting aside money for her future, so my brother had decided to help her out a bit. I thought it was stupid because we were barely managing to scrape by ourselves and here he was, trying to help out his girlfriend. My mother, however, did not find anything wrong with it and kept trying to convince me that it was fine because he was doing it for love. And if she was ready to sacrifice everything just to be with him, then this is the least that my brother could do for her. The thing is, I wasn't sure exactly how much she was having to sacrifice because as far as I knew, having cancer doesn't really mean that my brother shouldn't have a life of his own like everyone else does.

So for my mother to make it seem like Maria was doing him a favor by being with him was kind of weird for me, but I didn't say anything about it. At the end of the day, we were all family and I knew that no matter what, we were going to stick together and make everything work. That's how my father had intended for things to be and I know that that's how. it was going to work. I had done the math before I graduated and figured out by the end of last year that there was no way I would be able to go to college or get an apartment of my own because I did not have enough money saved up for myself since I was contributing to the family as well.

But I was okay with that. I didn't even tell anyone about it because I didn't want my mom or my brother to feel bad and silently continue to work full time so that I would be able to support my family but around two months ago, my mom suddenly approached me and told me that she wanted me to find a place of my own and move out. That took me by surprise because I had just turned 18 and I had honestly just believed that like my brother had started working and continued to live in our home, I would be doing the same. When I asked my mother why she was asking me to move out, she told me that my brother had asked Maria to move in with him because she had gotten into a really nasty

fight with her aunt and apparently, she just couldn't go back to her anymore. She needed a place to crash and our house was too small for all of us to stay together. My mom knew that I had had some money set aside, so she wanted me to move out and she believed that it would also be good for my brother to have Maria around for emotional support. I just couldn't believe that she was going to treat me like that after I had sacrificed everything just to be there for my family and initially, I refused to leave, but then she said that I was being selfish because we were not even sure how much more time my brother had. It was all just ridiculous and after the discussion with my mother, I even spoke to my brother about it, hoping that this would not have been his idea,

but unfortunately, it was. He said that he was really thankful for everything that I had done for him, but he just wanted this one last favor for me as well because if he was going to pass away sooner than everyone else, then he would rather have Maria around him at the very least. His condition hadn't improved in a really long time, but it hadn't deteriorated as well, so it was not like he was constantly at risk of dropping dead.

And hypothetically, even if he was, I found it strange that he would rather have Maria around, his girlfriend who had been there with him for just two years, than his own family, especially me. Unlike Maria, I was actually the one who had made real sacrifices, like my future and my education. But after he told me that he really loved her and wanted her to be with her and he was even ready to ask me to move out for that,

I realized that I had sacrificed everything in vain, and it was completely not worth it. Out of sheer spite, I decided to move out and cut ties with them because clearly, this was not the kind of family that my family that my dad had envisioned. Had my father been around, he never would have allowed this to happen. But unfortunately, he was not here anymore, and I had to look out for myself. Rather than staying in a place where I was clearly unwanted, I decided to move out and stay with a couple of friends for the first few weeks until I found a place of my own. I was finally able to find a dingy little

apartment in a really bad neighborhood that I would be sharing with two roommates but at least the rent was affordable. At that point, I was honestly just thankful to have even found the kind of a place and I felt lucky to even have a roof over my head because I did not want to be a burden on my friends and their parents since most of them were not exactly well versed about my situation. I was also pretty lucky to have kind roommates who became friends with me pretty quickly. Both of them also have their own share of struggles and all I can say is that none of us come from a financially stable background, which is probably why they were able to resonate with me and they were so kind to me.

For the past two months, after I left, I have had absolutely no contact with my family and I really missed them because before everything went wrong, I was really close with them. I couldn't even imagine a day when I wouldn't speak to them, but here I was, living without them.

They did not bother to reach out to me after I left, which is even more. Especially after everything that I had given up for the sake of my brother, at least he should have reached out to me. I had never even blocked them because I had kept expecting them to reach out to me at some point, but unfortunately, they did not do so until recently. And even then, it was to demand my help, not to apologize.

My mom called me up a couple of days back and she was really upset. I thought that she was going to apologize, so that's why I picked up that call. But then she told me that apparently she was calling me to tell me that Maria had pulled off a disappearing act and had broken up with my brother over text the previous night. Apparently she had sent him a text saying that she had really tried very hard to make this work, but she couldn't wrap her head around the fact that eventually he was going to pass away and she would be left all alone. Before she had to deal with that, she wanted to cut him out of her life so that it would

hurt less when he finally left her. She had told him not to contact her again and said that she was going really far away. For the past two months, she had been living with my family without paying any rent or even contributing to any other expenses. She had been living for completely free and so, she had been able to put together enough money to leave. So she had thanked all of us for allowing her to live with him, but now, she had to think about herself as well.

In simple words, she had played my brother for a fool and used him. I didn't even think it was possible for a human being to use somebody as poor as us, especially who was suffering from cancer, but Maria had done the unthinkable. You have to hand it to her, she played it. her, she played it pretty smartly. She knew she was not pretty or well off enough to even make it into a relationship with somebody richer than my brother, so she played it safe, but clever, and had my brother wrapped around her finger. And then, she just tossed him aside when she realized that she didn't need him anymore. Just like my family had done to me if we really

think about it. So when my mother told me that she needed my help to fix this, saying that my my brother was miserable and couldn't stop crying, I needed to help her track down where Maria was and at least get her to talk to my brother, so he would get some sense of closure. But I simply laughed at her and said that this was karma for what they had done to me, and I hoped that he never got any sort of closure because after how they treated me, they simply did not deserve it. And then I hung up without another word and blocked them. After that, I spoke to my roommates about it and both of them were a bit skeptical regarding my reaction to the situation.

Of course, they haven't said that I have done anything wrong and they think that my reaction was completely valid and so are my feelings about this. They said that if they were in my place, they probably would have done something similar. But then, they said something that really got me thinking. They asked me if this is how I really wanted to end my relationship with my mom and my brother because at the end of the day,

no matter what they have done, he is still not going to make it for long. They said that if my brother was not a cancer patient, they might have reacted differently, but given the circumstances, they want me to think about what I want to do because they don't think that I should regret anything in the future. That's all that they said, they did not push me to apologize to them or reach out to them again, but it was enough for me to start thinking about whether what I had done was right or not. Just to be clear, I do not want anybody hating my roommates because they have really been there

for me and all they are trying to do is give me a different perspective on the situation. They have not been pushing me to do anything, they are respectful of my feelings, and I really want everyone in the comments to be respectful of them as well, even if they don't agree with what they believe. Anyway, I have thought about it for a couple of days and I haven't been able to come to a conclusion, so I'm here to ask. I'd have for telling my mom and my brother that it's karma that his girlfriend dumped him and left after freeloading for two months. Edit, my parents eloped because both my grandparents were not in agreement with their relationship. I don't know the details of it, to be honest, since neither of my parents ever bothered to tell us about it. They have always been very secretive and private about their past, which is why I've never been able to figure out why exactly we had to run away. All I know is that our families do not approve

of the relationship that my parents had and by extension, they probably wouldn't approve of us either. That's why we haven't ever had any contact with anybody from our families. Even if I had wanted to reach out to them, I wouldn't have been able to do it because I didn't even know their names. So approaching them for any sort of help had always been out of the question. As for why Maria never moved out to live with any of her other relatives, I don't really know why. I never bothered to ask because I had always been very busy with work and I only knew her as my brother's girlfriend. We were not close personally. So I didn't want to come off as prying and ask such personal questions.

Anyway, I hope that clears up any doubts that people might have had. Update 1, hi, so I thought about it and I decided to have a discussion with my roommates about what they had said. I think it was better to just get everything out of the way since even if they hadn't pushed me to do anything, they did have their own opinions, and I felt like I had to share why I had done what I had done. So I explained my entire situation to them once again, even though they already knew everything. After hearing me out once again, they told me they were really not going to judge me. It was then that I found out that one of my roommates had also left her family behind before she moved here and it had been kind of a similar situation for her.

In the sense that she and her dad had had a huge fight before she moved away because he wanted her to stay back with them and learn the ropes of the family business, but she wanted to move out and pursue a degree in literature, which is why she had moved here against all the odds and without any support from her family. So she hadn't been in touch with her family for almost six months and then one day, her mother finally called her up to inform her that her dad had passed away from a heart attack in the middle of the night and her only regret so far was the fact that she hadn't tried to make it right with him even once. She did attend his funeral, but everyone in her family seemed

to be very judgmental, so she never bothered to contact anyone after that. She does occasionally speak to her mother, but they are not very close anymore. Of course, I am free to do what she did and that's why the two of them had shared their opinion on the situation. Ultimately, I thank them for looking out for me and they thank me for respecting their opinion without making a big deal out of it. There was never really a fight to begin with, but even then, we were able to clear the air and it's all good. They can understand where I'm coming from and I can totally understand why they said what they did. I know that they are not judging me and I'm going to stick to my decision of not speaking to my mom or my brother until they

apologize. And just because I have blocked them, it doesn't mean that they don't have any means to apologize to me. I have only blocked their phone numbers. They can still contact me on social media, and unless they reach out to me to genuinely apologize, I'm not speaking a word to them. And it's not like they haven't exactly tried to reach out to me, but it's not the way that I would expect them to. I don't know why they felt the need to involve other people in this, but instead of just talking to me themselves, they decided to get our neighbor involved. Our next-door neighbor, Jennifer, has been one of my mom's oldest friends. She is a single woman in her late 40s. She never married and doesn't have any family of her own and she always used to look out for us when we were

kids. So I have a lot of respect for her in my heart and I have always liked her, but I think this time, she shouldn't have interfered because she doesn't know what I have been through. She texted me yesterday and told me that my mother and my brother were very upset about how I was treating them and as somebody who has watched me grow up, she never expected me to act like this. She said that apparently she had hoped that I would understand that my brother was really in love with Maria and he wanted her back, even if it was for just one last goodbye. But instead of trying to be there for him and support him during such a bleak time of his life, I was turning my back on my family, and she even said that my father would have been really disappointed in my behavior. First things first, I'm not sure what I can do about Maria leaving him because it's not like we are friends. I can't convince her to come back, so I already have nothing I can do to help them out. And secondly, it's very convenient that they are all skipping out on what they did to me.

If my father had known about that, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have been pleased about that. Because I had sacrificed everything for my family and what did they do. They sacrificed their relationship with me for Maria, somebody they barely even did. knew. So thank you but no, thank you, Jennifer, I don't know my family anything. Not anymore, at least. Update 2. Hello, it has been almost two weeks since Jennifer contacted me. I did not think that my mom or my brother would bother to speak to me again. I thought wrong, I guess. This morning, they visited me and, of course, I cut off the friend who gave them my address. I know for a fact that after that phone call, my mother told me Maria had left, and they would definitely try to find out

where I was living. So I had given all my friends very strict and specific instructions that if my family tried to contact them and get them to give them my address, they were just supposed to ignore it and block them if need be. But at no cost were they supposed to tell them where I was living because if they found out, they would definitely keep bothering me again and again. And I did not have the time, money, or energy to relocate. And yet, an idiot for you. And yet, an idiot for friend of mine decided to ignore my instructions and give them my address because he thought he was doing me a favor by trying to reunite me with my family. I mean, who cares what I really want? Anyway, enough about him, after my family found out that I was living, they decided to visit me

because I had blocked them everywhere else and apparently, they did not think that speaking to me on social media was appropriate for a discussion like this. It was just ridiculous and I refused to even open the door to them, but they told me that they would stand outside all day if you if they needed to, but they would not leave without speaking to me. My roommates were also both at home, so I asked them if they would be fine with me inviting my family in and then they said that they wouldn't mind. So I finally decided to invite them inside. It was not out of warmth or forgiveness.

I just invited them inside so we could talk about whatever they wanted to talk to me about and then put an end to this once and for all. I did not want them to keep disturbing me since I was trying really hard to move on from the past and this was not helping. I thought that at least now, they would apologize but even now, they did not think that it was necessary and continue to speak about how horrible they were feeling about everything and since I was family, they needed me to be there for them. They did not apologize but said that they really missed me and wanted me to come back home. Besides, they apparently did not think it was safe for me to live in such a

terrible neighborhood. I found that laughable because for the past two months, they had not even bothered to find out where I was and now, they were worried about my safety all of a sudden. I made it very clear to them that I had invited them only because I wanted to tell them that I did not want them around me or trying to contact me anymore. They had several chances to apologize to me and at least tried to make amends with me, but it seemed like they did not care about anything apart from themselves and their own feelings. They were incredibly selfish people and I wanted nothing to do with them anymore because I had to think of my future as well, just like Maria had said. So while I really appreciated their concern at this point,

I did not need them to come take me back with them. They started getting offended at that point and said that they did not think that they had anything to apologize for because my brother had only tried to help out and he had no idea that it would backfire like this. I had started losing my temper by then because I couldn't believe that they were still trying to justify what they had done because in my opinion, there was just no way to make it make sense. So I was very rude to them and eventually, they stopped fighting with me and trying to argue with me and said that if I really didn't want them to talk to me anymore, then they would gladly cut ties with me. And they said that they had come here to make me feel sense, but obviously, that was not going to be possible. I agree,

that's not going to be possible because people like them could never understand me and someone like me is never going to understand where they are coming from. So then, they finally left and when my roommates finally came back out, they actually apologized to me because they had no idea that my family was like this. Anyway, now that's all done and I only have to think about my future now. My family did not care about me when I needed them and now, I'm going to treat them the same way. Update 3, hello, it has been close to a year since I left home and I've been doing pretty well for myself. I had been working as a floor worker at the local grocery store for the past couple of months but recently I got hired as a salesperson in a furniture company and it's a pretty big deal because I'm going to be making more money now.

I'm still living with my roommate, but we are planning on moving into a bigger apartment together pretty soon since we have all been putting aside money. I have not had any contact with my family since the last time that we met. I know that my brother is doing all all right since I'm pretty sure that Jennifer would let me know if something had happened to him. I hope that all of them are well and maybe someday in the future they will come to their senses and try to reconcerns. with me and I might be open to it. But for now, I'm very happy with my life. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother accused me of being responsible for the end of my marriage when my spouse left me for another lady, and scolded me for bringing shame upon the family due to my inability to uphold the marital bond. To make the marriage work. Hey, I'm 48F and I have a 23-year-old son and he's

getting married in two weeks. A few days back, my mother, 70. who I haven't been in touch with for the past 16 years, got in touch with me because she wanted to attend her grandson's wedding. We haven't been in touch because 16 years ago, my ex-husband cheated on me and I filed for a divorce, and my mother decided to blame me for it. My ex-husband and I had been together for just a year when I got pregnant and I decided to keep the baby, but I had given him the option to leave if he didn't want to stay with me. I was ready to be a mother at the time, but he wasn't ready to be a father. We did end up getting married though, because of pressure from his family since they wanted to have a relationship with their grandson.

So he had to marry me because of his family and like most other couples who end up in this situation, we were not happy after we got married. Life after marriage was difficult since my ex-husband was constantly fighting with me, and after a few years, we just stopped talking. Then when my son was seven years old, I discovered a few messages on his phone, and I realized that he had been cheating on me. with his friend for a year. That was the end of our relationship. I moved out that day and filed for a divorce that week itself. Under circumstances like that, I would have expected my family to support me and my father actually did support me, but my mother had told me to go back to him and tried to make that marriage work. I don't know why, but she believed that my ex-husband had decided to cheat on me because I was the one who hadn't been able to keep him happy in the marriage

and so, he had decided to look for happiness elsewhere, outside of the marriage. She thought that it was my fault that we were getting divorced and had told me that it was my duty, as his wife, to try my best to make the marriage work, and it didn't matter that he had cheated on me. What mattered was that we could still forget about all of this and try to make it better for the future. I thought that her ideas were archaic and we had fought a lot over the things that she said to me because I had believed that the least she could do for me was be supportive of me, but instead. She was insisting that I go back to the man who hadn't been able to give me any sort of happiness or hope for the future in the seven years that we had been together. I was personally relieved that I was going to be able to leave him because for so long, the only reason I had tried to make it work with him was because of my son.

But after he had cheated and I found out about it, I had come to the realization that if I stayed in this relationship, then neither would I ever end up being happy nor would my son. So it would be better for everyone if we ended this sham of a marriage and my ex-husband, and I agreed on that, but my mother didn't. After I filed for a divorce, my mother kept bothering me for a bit, but I didn't bother to pay attention to her and decided to go through with the divorce anyway. At least my father was supporting me, so I wasn't too worried. But unfortunately, for months into the divorce proceedings, I lost my father to a heart attack.

It was really sudden and at the time, my mother and I had not exactly been getting along well because she thought I was messing things up for myself by getting that divorce. So at the time that my dad passed away, I had only been talking to him, but I had been avoiding my mother for a couple of weeks. When I reached out to her to tell her that I wanted to help her plan the funeral so that we could reconcile, she told me to leave her alone and said that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. She called me a disgrace to the family, since I was one of the first women in our family to actually leave their husband instead of tolerating whatever they did, and she told me that it was my fault that my husband had left me for another woman because I was too selfish and never cared about anyone's happiness, except for my own.

My father had already passed away, so the only person who had been connecting the both of us was gone and with him gone. I didn't feel the need to ever speak to my mother again after the things that she had said to me. She had been horrible to me, and after I attended my dad's funeral, I decided that I was never going to see or speak to her again. And I'm pretty sure that she was fine with it because after that, she did not try to reach out to me either. I was completely on my own during divorce because I'm not very close to the rest of my family and I only had a few friends to help me out. After everything was finalized, I decided to start applying to jobs outside of the state because I just couldn't bear to live there anymore and

luckily, I got a well-paying job within a few weeks. Within a month of my divorce being finalized, I left everything behind and moved away. I had full custody of my son since his father hadn't actually been interested and I had seen that coming because even though we had to been together for seven years for our son's sake, he had never really been invested in our son like I was. He had visitation rights, but he never utilized those after the divorce apart from the holidays. But even those visits on the holidays stopped after a year or two and he continued to pay child support, but never bothered to see his son. I haven't heard from him for a really long time, but I know from a couple of old friends that he's doing great and he's married to the friend that

he had that affair with. As for my family, I never was pretty much. I never was particularly close to anyone and neither were they bothered about me, so I haven't been in touch with them ever since I left. And my mother and I have never spoken in the past 16 years. I'm putting all of this out because I want everyone to know that since my son was seven years old, I have raised him completely on my own. I have handled my work and managed to build a business and raise him all on my own without any support, emotional or otherwise, not even from my own mother. So when, a few days ago, she showed up at my house uninvited, I was pretty surprised. She is pretty old now, but so am I, and I wasn't happy on seeing her so I did not invite her in.

When I asked her how she found me, she told me that she had asked a couple of my high school friends, and one of them had told her and then she told me that she had come all the way here to ask me if she would be allowed to be a part of the wedding of her grandson. She told me that she had been thinking about it ever since she heard that my son was engaged, since I had posted about it on social media and I'm guessing people from the family must have seen that or something. And she knew that we hadn't spoken in the past 16 years, but she felt that it was time to bury the hatchet and make peace for the sake of her grandson because she wasn't sure how much time

she had left and she wanted to get the opportunity to bond with him, even if it was just a little. But she didn't say the one thing that I expected her to say, and that was that she was sorry for everything that she had said to me in the past. I waited for a bit for her to say that, and then I might have even considered accepting her request to be present at the wedding, but she just stared at me without saying anything and it was so frustrating that I laughed in her face and I told her that no, I definitely did not want her at the wedding and I'm sure that neither would my son. Then, I asked her to leave because I didn't want to speak with her anymore and she left, but she looked very shocked with the way that I had behaved with her.

After she was gone, I decided to call up my son and tell him about what just happened because after all, this was his wedding and he should also have a say in what happens. I was pretty certain that he was going to tell me that I had done the right thing by asking his grandmother to leave, but after he told him everything, he told me that I might have been a bit too quick in asking her to go away. I hadn't seen that coming and was disappointed that he was not on my side, but then, he kept talking and explained to me that it had been 16 years since we last spoke and neither of us had felt that it was necessary to reach out to the other. Which is fine because what my mother had done back then was unacceptable and I had my reasons

not to speak to her. But now, since she had made the effort to reach out to me, I should have at least invited her in and tried to speak to her instead of telling her to go away. Maybe she hadn't apologized right off the bat, but I can chalk that up to old age and the least I could have done was at least give her an opportunity to speak to me and try and make things right. My son was the one who told me that I should reach out to her again and just talk to her once and maybe we'll be able to make things right. He also reminded me that my mother is also getting old and she might not have a lot of time left. So after she's gone, he wouldn't want me to regret letting go of this one opportunity to make things right between the two of us.

Of course, he told me that in the end, it has to be my decision, but that's what he would suggest to me. His suggestion actually seems pretty reasonable, but it's just been so long that I don't feel like speaking to my mother anymore. All that hurt and resentment is still inside of me somewhere and I don't know if I'll ever be able to let that go. But what he said about my mother getting old and not having enough time was also true and truth be told, I don't know how I feel about that. It's just all a mess in my head right now and I feel like my brain is divided into two parts right now, one that wants to reach out to my mother and speak to her and the other. That keeps reminding me of all the things that she had said to me when I was going through the toughest time in my life and she never bothered to reach out to me in the past 16 years. So I'd offer not wanting to reconcile with my mother after 16 years of no contact. Update 1. Hey, everyone, so there are just four days to go before my son gets married, and a few days back, after speaking to my son, I decided that I was going to give it a try and actually try to fix my relationship with my mother.

He was thrilled about it, and he told me that he would be there for it as well, in case I needed moral or emotional support and I really was grateful for it. The only issue was that we didn't exactly know how to get through to her or if she was even here anymore, but thankfully, I asked a couple of my friends from high school and one of them confessed to having given her my address because she had been pestering them nonstop and so, she just caved and sent her my address. Then, I asked her to give me my mother's contact info if she could, and she was able to arrange for it in a while and that's how we contacted her. I called her up and when she picked up the phone, she was pretty surprised to hear me on this end, but anyway, I invited her over for

dinner and I told her that I would be willing to speak to her about all of this if she was still here. Luckily, she hadn't left and was planning on going back after a week, since she was staying here with her niece's family and they were quite happy to have her here. Anyway, last evening, she came over for dinner and it was really awkward and weird but I was thankful that my son and his fiancé were here to try and defuse the situation. My mother told me about her life and how it had been for her for the past 16 years and I told her a little about how it had been for me. Apparently, six years ago, my mother had remarried but unfortunately lost her second husband a few months ago. It had been really lonely for her in the past couple of months, especially after her second husband had passed away as well,

and she realized that she hadn't exactly done the right thing by pushing her own daughter away. She told me that she was really sorry that she had been so horrible to me in the past and told me that I didn't deserve what I had been through. It was quite surreal for me to hear her say that because I really hadn't expected her to apologize and I still couldn't believe it because this was finally happening after 16 years. Anyway, while she apologized, she started crying and she told me that she knew that she wasn't ever going to get these 16 years back and that what happened was irreversible, but she still wanted to make the rest of her life count and do something right for one. When she started crying, I started feeling bad for her and I told her that now that she was here, we were going to really give it a try and make things right between us again. But she just couldn't stop sobbing and after one point, we had to abandon dinner just so that we could console her because she was sobbing so violently.

It was clear that she had been holding herself back for a really long time and now, the dam had finally burst. She just kept telling me that she was really sorry about everything and that she hadn't been a good mother and she wanted to apologize to me for her failure. So after a while, I just decided to hug her so she could calm down for a bit and then I took her to the guest room so she could lay down and rest. Then, my son, his fiancé, and I went back to dinner and finished it all up. While she was resting, my son and I got to talking and I told him that I was really happy that he suggested that we reconcile or at least try to talk to each other because so far, things have been going pretty

well. After so many years, it's definitely not going to be easy to repair our relationship, but we have to start somewhere if we want that and this is a good place to start. My mother ended up spending the night here that day and the next morning. When she left, I told her to get all her things and stay with me until it was time for her to go back. She agreed readily and my cousin and her family moved her in here. They're distant cousins, so I'm not very close to them and I honestly didn't even know that I had family here. But I thanked them as well, and they told me that they were grateful that I was taking over from here because for the last couple of days, all my mother had been talking about was me and how she had screwed everything up. So they believed

that my decision to have her move in with me for the next couple of days was a good one since it would help us reconcile. And I agree. My mother hasn't broken down anymore after that day and things are still a bit awkward and strained between us, but I know that she's trying to erase that gap of 16 years as best as she can. The wedding is coming up so I've been busy with that as well and I also have worked to attend to, so we mostly only get to talk to each other peacefully in the evenings and our conversations have been pretty nice so far. It makes me feel glad that I decided to give this a chance because I feel like I might be able to get my old relationship with her back again. Update 2. Hello, everyone. So my son got married last week and two days after that,

he and his wife left for their honeymoon. The wedding went really well, everything was exceptionally beautiful and my mother was glad to be there as well. She kept talking about how wonderfully I had raised my son, even though I had been all on my own and she told me that she would have never been able to do it on her own if she had been in my place. So it was really a commendable job that I had done. My son and his now wife have been together for the past 10 years and that's something that came up pretty frequently during the wedding, and my mother told me later on that even though my son was his father's kid as well. She couldn't see even the slightest resemblance to him that was a good thing because I had raised a good man. She acknowledged that she had been wrong about my ex-husband

and told me that I had done the right thing by leaving him. And finally, she explained why she had been so against the idea of me leaving my husband. My mother had been raised in a very strict Catholic family, and I knew that. I was also aware of the fact that her parents believed that getting a divorce was not a valid solution to anything and she had been raised to believe the same thing since they didn't even recognize divorce. And I was pretty much the first woman in my family to get a divorce because everyone had had a similar kind of upbringing. Even my father came from a similar family, but his family was not as strict as my mom's. However, even in his family, divorce was not encouraged, and when I had decided to leave my husband, I hadn't posted about it or anything but words still got around because I had left his house and stuff.

And when that happened, people in my family started gossiping and telling my mother that she needed to stop me from leaving my husband because it was a sin. Once we were married, we were married, and there was nothing that we could do to reverse that. So the only option I had was to just make it work and they made it seem like cheating was not even that big of a deal because their husband used to do it constantly, so they thought that I should treat it as something that just happens and not take it seriously either. But I did not function with the same moral code, and I decided to leave and that created quayette. quite a stir in the family. People were quite upset that I was doing something like this and that's why my mother kept trying to discourage me because she knew that the family would cut me off and keep gossiping about me behind my back. In some way, I guess she thought she was protecting me in some weird twisted way, but that's not how it works. Things only got worse when my dad

passed away because people were already upset with me and when that happened, they started taking up the opportunity to make it seem like it was my sin that my dad had been punished for. My mother told me that a bunch of relatives started brainwashing her and believing that because I had decided to go against my husband and leave him in spite of their advice, it was my father who had to bear the punishment of my friend. My mother had lost her soulmate at the time because, unlike my marriage, both my parents had been in love with each other. She was very vulnerable at the time and her family took advantage of that and decided to

turn her against me completely. That was why she started to believe that maybe it was actually my fault that she had lost her husband and that's why she decided to cut me out of her life. When I learned about all of this, even though I knew some bits of it, I felt angry and hurt all over again. Because even though I had known that her family had a huge part to play in all of this, I didn't know what they had been saying about why my dad had passed away. I couldn't believe that even my mother had believed it was my fault that she had lost her husband back then. I felt like I wanted to draw back from her once again, but she told me that it had taken her a long time, but she had realized that she had

realized that she was the one who had screwed up by believing whatever nonsense had been fed to her by her family and it was completely her fault that she had pushed me away from her for so many years. She also told me that after she got married for a second time, her late husband had tried to get her to talk to me on multiple occasions and had tried to get her to cut her family off because they were very toxic, but she had refused. It was only towards the end of his life when he had fallen very ill, that she realized what he was talking about and started to acknowledge her mistakes. And she told me that she really wanted to tell me that I was stronger than most of the women in our family and maybe everyone resented me for that. But anyway, we cannot change the past and now

that we have started trying to fix our relationship, I don't want to go back on that. So my mother and I are still staying together and we are actively trying to reconcile and make up for lost time. Update 3. Hey, guys. Three weeks have passed since my last update and my mother has still been living with me, but she has decided to go back by the end of this week. Things have been going really well and we have been bonding. Occasionally, it still gets really weird and silent, but we have been trying not to let that get in the way of our reconciliation.

Anyway, she has decided to go back for a couple of months so she can sort everything out back home and then move back in here with me permanently. I know a lot of people are not going to agree with my decision. but she's not getting any younger and I really want to be there for her. When we were younger, when I was a kid, she was my best friend. And slowly, we are going back to that relationship that we used to have when I was little and I don't want to lose it anymore. So I think it's for the best if she comes back to live with me permanently. And I've also been pretty lonely ever since my son moved out, so I think I could do with some company.

My mother has told me that she's going to put our old house up for sale because the memories attached to that house are just too much to handle and I agree, I think it's the best decision she could make right now. I can't go with her because I have worked here, but my son has told me that he's going to return in a couple of days, so he'll handle everything. Thankfully, my mother doesn't really have any serious health problems as of now, so she can handle herself alone, but she just needs somebody to be there for her while she's traveling. Once she comes back, we have also been talking about going to therapy together. It's my cousin who told us to give it a try and to be honest. my mom wasn't really into the idea because it's a very newfangled concept for her,

but I told her that it would be worth it. So now, I'm just going to wait for her to come back after she's done with all the work back home and then, she's going to be living here. I'm quite happy about it because she and I have been spending a lot of time together recently and I have been having a great time with her. In these past 16 years, I'd almost forgotten how fun and witty she could be when she wanted to only the bad parts had stayed with me after our massive fallout part, but slowly, but surely, we're getting the good parts back again.

I really don't know how much time I have left with her. If I'm lucky, then I might get a lot, but whatever I have left, I want to make the most of it. We have spent enough of our lives being angry at each other. I think it's time that we leave all that in the past. Update 4. Hi, guys. So I have absolutely heartbreaking news for everyone. My mother has unfortunately passed away. It has been five months since she moved back home so she could wrap.

up all the work she had there and sell the house. At first, I didn't think that it would take her so long to sell the house, but she told me that she had other things to attend to as well before she moved in with me. I didn't think much of it and we kept in touch over the past five months. We would often FaceTime each other and she had started to look quite sick, but whenever I would ask her about it, she told me it was just the camera and her phone had poor quality, which was true so I didn't question it. Then, two days ago, I was informed that she had passed away in the hospital. She had a nurse who had taken her to the hospital in the middle of the night,

but she hadn't been able to make it. Apparently, she had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia about two months before she came to see me. She had been undergoing treatment, but the disease had already gotten to a stage when it was too late to do anything. So for a few weeks, she decided to come see me instead of wasting her time on treatment because she knew that she was going to pass away eventually and she wanted to make things right with me before that.

happened. She never told me anything about it because she didn't want to make me upset, and after she passed away, it was her nurse who told me everything. I'm still trying to process and cope with this loss, but I'm really happy about the fact that I decided to give it a chance and even though I had very little time to spend with her before, she eventually passed away. I'm very grateful that I even got that time. My son was right, I would have definitely regretted it if I had not given this a chance. For those of you who had said that the only reason she wanted to make things right with me at this age was because she needed somebody to take care of her in her old age, I guess you were wrong because she knew she wasn't going to make it.

And she didn't need me to take care of her, she just needed me to forgive her and spend some time with her before she passed on. I'm organizing her funeral at the end of this week and flying back home for it. Condolences have been pouring in from her family, who always hated me so I know that it's all pretend, but I don't really care about it. I'm content with the time that we got to spend before she passed away and I'm always going to cherish it. I hope you enjoy this story. Close companion continued to make physical contact and show romantic interest in my partner. I decided to address the situation with her, only to discover that she was dishonest about it.

Eventually, I learned that they had been engaging in a clandestine romantic relationship for an extended period. All our friends knew. Hey everyone. My 24F best friend, 24th. is too handsy with my boyfriend, 26M, and I think it's inappropriate I know I should be careful calling someone best friend in a post like this, but I don't know how else to call Jesse. Our parents are great friends so we grew up together and she kind of had my back in high school.

Long story short, on the teenager food chain, she was on top and I should be on the bottom. But nobody messed with me because I was Jesse's friend. Jesse is one of those people who require attention. I never minded though, nobody is perfect right? But now that I have my first real boyfriend, she doesn't know how to behave. Every time we are together she is really handsy. Always touching his arms, running fingers through his hair, complimenting him. And now she even started with the prank spankings on the butt, you know?

I just feel really uncomfortable with it. Maybe it's normal, I mean, Jesse has a lot of guys' friends, so maybe this is okay? My B.F. never thought much of it either. Am I just overreacting? She is super pretty so maybe I'm just jealous? Anyway, yesterday something really threw me off. BF had to do some work and I had a book thing, hobby, so we decided to meet later at a friend's house.

They were getting together to drink and so on. B.F finishes work early and calls me, but I don't really need him to come over to the book thing. I know he doesn't like it, so I just tell him to go to friend's house. Then I start getting texts from Jesse all like girl, you gotta come to this party now, your BF is wasted. L.O.L. L.O.L.L. We so drunk, you need to come and stop us. I can't behave myself if you don't get here soon. And so on. The book thing took longer than I thought and I was just getting mad and madder. But I am a very non-confrontational person, so I deal with it. I call BF when it's over because I don't feel like going to this party anymore, but I was his ride.

So I ask him if needs me to come pick him up. He says, sure, I get there and don't even go inside. I am ready to release the hounds of hell on him. But he gets in my car and he is stone cold sober. I ask him if he was drinking and then show him Jesse's texts. He gets super upset and says she was lying, he wasn't even hanging directly with her, but catching up with a friend who just came back to town.

He says I should have texted him letting him know what she was saying so he could confront her about it since you don't ever seem to be able to give that girl some boundaries as words. Now I'm thinking maybe I should talk to Jesse. But maybe she was just drunk and annoying me because she wanted me there? I don't know, I mean, this girl was really nice to me growing up when she could have been a bitch. I don't like how she behaves around him, but at the same time I don't want it to look like I don't trust her. Is there a polite way of going about it? Or I should maybe wait and see if this happens again? Am I overreesome? reacting? Update 1. Yesterday I posted here about how my best friend Jesse is a bit handsy with my

boyfriend and it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am very thankful to all those who commented, especially the ones who encouraged me to say something and what. I don't like arguments, so those were very important to me, thank you. Last night we were alone because she wanted me to help her choose clothes for an event. I was at her place so I thought I should say something, I wanted to say something. I was very polite and just said that I knew she meant no harm but I didn't feel good about it. So I asked her if she could tone it down, should have said stop but I guess I'm weak. She didn't really say anything mean, but her attitude was a bit off, I think. She was looking at me in a scornful kind of way, and the way she smiled once I was done talking. It just felt weird.

She didn't say anything else but okay and we just moved on to choosing her clothes and I left after. We were supposed to go get something to eat, but she said she was tired. I am not dumb, she was hurt. So I texted a common friend, more her friend than mine, and, without getting into details, I just told him that I talked to Jess about something that was important to me but that I was afraid she may have gotten the wrong idea from it. The common friend said, look, I don't want to get involved, but you should watch it. I asked what he meant, he said nothing, just watch it.

A little while after that he texts me back and says changed my mind. I do want to get involved and sends me a bunch of prints of texts going back and forth between him and Jesse. It basically starts with him asking her if the two of us had a fight, because I was worried, he was kind with his words, I don't mind him stepping in, and then just a non-stop stream of her being horrible. She says I had a big mouth and was judging her behavior because I'm a prude who doesn't know how to be around guys. how she taught me everything I know about having a life and how dare I tell her what she can or cannot do, or how I should thank her for even having a boyfriend at all. Common friend actually called her out for being rude and no friend of mine.

After the prince he told me I'm done with her, I give up, and you should watch it. He also said it was okay if I told her I had the prince. I didn't though. Didn't know what to say. I mean she is not 100% wrong. But even though I know that, it really hurts to read those. This morning I wake up and see she texted me late at night. She says she knows Pete sent me the prince and she didn't mean to be rude,

but it's ridiculous that I am jealous of her because if she wanted my BF she could just have him, you want me to prove it? So I'm being silly and should drop it, is what she meant. She ends it with kisses and a joke. So I don't know if she was being playful, apologizing, threatening or being pragmatical. I didn't answer her yet. I don't know what to say. Should I even say something?

Or should I just let it go? I wish I could talk to someone about this, but I am very private. I usually go to Jesse with these things. Help? Comments where Op has replied. Commenter. Sounds like this person is completely wrapped up in their own head and have a serious case of overthinking their importance in life, especially others' lives. Obviously we're all going to tell you to drop her because she's not a desirable person to be around if that's how she acts slash talks to you in person and behind your back.

This person thinks they own you enough so that they're decided to let you have your BF. Fuck that shit. Also show your guy everything that's happened cause guaranteed she's going to go after him. Oop, I suppose you are all right. It just gets me, you know? It's a 20 years long friendship. I keep thinking maybe this is a misunderstanding. She didn't mean it or she is going through a hard time and doesn't know how to deal with it.

I am just trying to make sure I am not overreacting, so I needed some outside perspective. As for my BF, I think he would turn her down quite fast. He doesn't really like her. He just hangs with her because of me, he's always saying that he'd rather not in all. So it's unlikely that they'd be alone together. But I will talk to him. Thank you for the heads up. Turns out she already went after him I was stupid update too.

My boyfriend is having sex with her. A friend convinced some other friends to send me prints of texts between themselves and either my BF or best friend. They are pretty clear. I confronted my BF, he looked lost, said he loves me and it was just sex. He says Jesse kept throwing herself at him, teasing him, and he said he didn't like her but I still wanted to hang. He said he just had sex with her to see if she would move on and leave him alone, and that it only happened a couple of times. Says he won't do it anymore, he doesn't even like her, he loves me, asking me to please forgive him. From the texts, once I finally made it through them all,

I think that Jesse went to the party, where me and B.F. met, because she wanted to hook up with him. She had it bad for him, but he didn't feel the same way. She was trying to get him to break up with me, and then to get me to break up with him. It worked. As of yesterday, he is a single man. In some of those texts, they are talking about some of the hookups. I feel like throwing up. I blocked him, because he was still trying to get in touch.

I ghosted her. But she just sent me a message saying she just heard what happened and you know this was probably for the best right? And I feel like fucking screaming. I don't know if this is an update or just me venting. Thanks for listening either way. Edit. I don't want to sound melodramatic or sappy or anything, but you all brought me to tears.

We keep hearing about how it is insanity to rely on the internet for personal connections, but I just lost a boyfriend, a best friend, and a whole group of friends. And instead of feeling alone, I am more and more feeling like fuck yeah that was the right thing to do, I will be okay. It still hurts. But not as much as it would had I really. been alone. I can't even begin to thank this sub. I really don't know what to say. Even on my previous posts that didn't get as many responses, it was some of the comments

there that made me approach the cheating thing knowing I had to break up and move on. So it changed my life in this moment. And considering I will be doing a lot of soul searching on toxic relationships, this probably changed my life for good. So thank you all so much for reaching out to a stranger. is so precious. And I got a gold, I don't even know what to say. Thank you so much. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but I don't even know how much a gold costs, and this is an alt-account, so it won't really be used. Is there any way I can return it to the sender? Some of you are asking for an update. I might in a while, if there is something new to tell. Right now it's just more of the same. I don't think I will be able to answer all the comments.

but I am trying to at least answer the ones with questions. Thank you. Comments where Op has replied, Commenter 1. Well yeah, I would just ditch that whole friend group and start trying to find new friends, my God, that some fucked up shit op yep, done and done I think I'm being too permissive with the word friend.

It was going on for months. Everyone knew. Nobody had the decency to tell me. It was only the one friend who wasn't even that close who stood up for me. Commenter too, you also said, can't make her hurt. She has no respect for you, and clearly doesn't care. So it will be impossible anyways. It would have the same effect as a drunk stranger telling you that you're awful. It might make you angry but you didn't care about that stranger so what they say is irrelevant. Also, I can't

imagine anything so utterly not worth your time. The delightful side effect of just ghosting, is that they will stew in it. They want the reaction, but they get none. They realized they lost all their power and never get to know and feel that satisfaction that comes from getting the reaction you wanted. Boop. Oh, I get what you mean she is still texting me. I didn't mention one detail because it wasn't important. We were all traveling together soon. My family paid for some of Jesse's expenses. She is messaging me about the vouchers, since I have them all. This fucking woman can't even wait a day to ask. It's like she's suddenly remembered she still needs me. I mean, I am. not giving them to her either way. Trip is off. Can't she tell? Absolute truth.

Commenter three, she would be more hurt by no response at all. To anything, ever, op, though no contact. Oop, I'm very much thinking the silence treatment will be the way to go. I think she just realized she needs me for the trip. She has been aggressively trying to contact me. Now she is saying that she liked my BF first, and I was the one who stole him, so she is the one who should be mad. I know I should just block her everywhere. But is it petty that I am having fun watching her squirm? I wanted to have the last word, but not saying anything is driving her crazy. Comment her four, LOL-L-L-L-But. Seriously, that is one of the stupidest things I have heard. It is like saying, hey, babe, I jumped off a cliff because somebody was really pestering me to do it.

Edit, I feel for you op, but what an excuse. Oop, I confess I almost fell for it. How pathetic is that? He was saying he cared about me, it was just a mistake, he thought she would back off. And I felt it was a bad decision on his part, but maybe it made sense and I could forgive him. Then he said something like and I didn't even like her, you were the one who always wanted us to hang that's when my brain joined the party and I was like, is he seriously trying to blame this shit on me? More comments made by Op, most disgusting part is that it is a trip we would

take together with my BF and some other friends. So she really thinks I would let my family pay for her to go on vacation with my ex who she cheated on me with? I'm starting to think this woman is sick. Like for real. I just went straight to venting, didn't I? Sorry. Well, it was all Pete really. After she texted she could get my BF if she wanted to, I just. I just went to. I just just answered back WTF. Jesse. And she lolled as if it was a joke. After that, Pete texted me, asked me if I was alone. He was really kind, and told me everything. Said he had proof and asked if I wanted to see it. I said yes. He had gone after our friends and convinced them to send him Prince. He's really well liked by everyone, and he was the one who said enough Pete is gay

B-T-W, just in case anyone jumps the gun like my mom did and think he did this because he's interested in me or something. He's not. He is just a decent person. No, I didn't get prints between BF and Jesse. I guess I went straight to venting and didn't give much details. Wasn't expecting this response. There was this friend Pete who convinced three other friends to send him texts between them, three friends, and either Jesse or B.F, so he could have proof, because he thought what was happening was disrespectful and someone should tell me. There were prints of texts between two friends and Jesse and one other friend and BF. They were pretty clear. Jesse especially didn't seem to care about hiding it at all. B.F texts were mostly wondering if I had noticed

something and wanting Jesse to back off, while saying she was hot, etc. There was nothing 100% confirmation on his side. It wasn't a talk between him and one of his close. friends, so it was kind of generic. But when I confronted him, I said I had Prince, without saying what they showed, and he just confessed. I really appreciate the Prince. It was ultimate evidence. But I don't think they did it for me. It's a Pete thing, you'd have to know him to understand. He's the stand-up guy who is everyone's friend. He is a huge people person. I think they sent the Prince because it was something for him, you know?

He was the one leading the charge and dealing with consequences. If it were just me, I don't think they would have final update. I said I'd come back if anything relevant happened. XBF kept trying to get in touch through common friends. They kept asking me to unblock him and at least hear him out, because he was really sorry, he loved me, he was a mess, he didn't mean to. Someone even went as far as to ask me if I was really sure it happened. They offered to send me prints of texts where he was talking about me,

so I'd see how he always had great things to say and how much he cared. But I've had it with the print-screen drama for life, and said no. To the ones who insisted I told them I wasn't unblocking him, had nothing to say or hear, and if they kept pushing me, I blocked them too. I ran into XPF at this book thing I go to often, hobby of mine. Maybe I'm being presumptuous, but I think he went there for me. He didn't really have any business there, but I'm just speculating really. He asked if I had a few minutes for coffee, I said I was late, lie.

He walked me to my car. He looked so good, smelled great. He was so sweet. Was even wearing his hair the way I like it. I fell horrible because even after everything, I still like him. He apologized some more, said he knew I needed time and space, but asked if I'd consider giving him another chance because he would wait for me. Said he would never talk to Jesse again.

and would act like they had restraining orders against each other. And I just found it really funny how everything he was saying required me trusting him. Which I don't. So I told him I wasn't interested anymore and he should move on. I wish I said something snappier or wittier. But I had nothing. This was Saturday, I haven't heard from him or friends since. I think that was that.

Jesse also kept trying to talk to me. Like I told some of you on comments. I had a trip coming up, it would have been me, Jesse, XBF, and a few friends. Since Jesse couldn't afford it, my parents paid for most of her expenses. She must have remembered this right after everything went down and panicked because I had everything, vouchers, confirmations emails, credit card info. She went crazy. Even showed up at my place, I wasn't home and my roommate told her to fuck off, exact words.

I didn't block her at first because I admit. I was having some fun watching her despair. I talked to my mom and she was amazing. Told me I should cancel everything even if it costed us money, it was fine. So I did. And for one last bit of print screen drama, I printed all the emails I got confirming cancellations and sent those to Jesse with the word by before blocking her. My roommate has been amazing.

We were never really close and now I don't even know why. She canceled plans with her friends to stay with me. me and invited me to go out with them next weekend. A few of you suggested I see a therapist and I did, yesterday. I really liked it. It was just one appointment and I mostly just talked, but it felt good. She gave me homework, she talked a little about unhealthy and abusive relationships and asked me to think about my friendship with Jessie and try to point what was healthy and what was unhealthy about it. Made me realize she was never really my friend. She was taking advantage of me for years and she even had me thanking her for it.

Therapist also told me about this saying, I think that's what it is, called the narcissist's prayer, which goes something like that didn't happen. If it did, it wasn't my fault. If it was, I didn't mean it. And if I did, then you deserved it, which is totally how Jesse is handling this whole thing now. So good riddance indeed.

And a final piece of gossip. Pete talked to me yesterday, he is checking up sometimes, he's a good guy. Again, he is gay in case someone is still thinking this might turn into a romantic comedy. He said Jesse was super sure that since I broke things off, she and Dean would hook up right away. But apparently he doesn't have the same plans and that freaked her out over the weekend. Pete says he really is a mess and went out drinking hard four nights in a row to the point he had to be carried home by his pals. And yesterday, they all went out for lunch at this burger place.

Jesse was going to run her fingers through his hair or something and he just pushed her away and told her to stop and to never touch him again. Great that now he manages to do that, huh? I guess in the end he really did like me in his sick way. The thing is, I don't want to be with someone who likes me in a sick way. I want to be with someone who likes me in a healthy way. I think I deserve that. I am also thinking about taking the moment.

money I got back from the trip to go somewhere else by myself. Haven't decided though. Anyway, this will be the final update on this, since it is unlikely that I will have anything new to add now. I think I just need time to heal and let go, you know? I might come back in a few months if there is reason to do a yay life is awesome now post, but I wanted to post this update now because I wanted to end this whole story on a bright note. And, of course, thank you all again. You are the best. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse and stepchild deceived about a prestigious university and misappropriated the legacy funds I provided for education expenses.

I discovered them utilizing it to pursue a fantasy instead. Now I'm leaving and taking back every penny. I, 40F, came into quite a lot of money after my aunt passed away and left me everything a couple of months ago. She passed away six months ago and three months ago. I received all the money that she had left. left for me and inherited her house as well, which I had been planning to sell, but now I'm living here. My aunt and I had always been close and even in her last few days, I was the only person who was regularly visiting her and taking care of her. She had been diagnosed with pancreatic

cancer a couple of years ago and I had tried my best to be there for her. So it was no big surprise that she had left everything to me since she did not have any family of her own. She never married and never had any kids. She left a couple of other. things to my mother, her sister, and a couple of other family members, but most of it came to me. And I will forever be grateful for it. I am an art teacher in middle school so naturally, I don't get paid much. I also conduct classes for elderly people in my free time, but that also does not generate enough revenue for me. Lately, I have been saving up to buy a car, something that I have wanted for a long time so that it can make my commute easier. I have to take the bus to school every day and

and I did not have a problem with it earlier, but recently, I have been having a lot of problems with my back and the bus seats are really uncomfortable, so I can't deal with that sort of discomfort anymore. Besides, I'm in my 40s, I think it's about time that I get a car of my own. I thought I would buy it with the money that I got from my aunt. But then, my husband told me that he wanted me to invest that money in my stepson's education. My husband, Sean, 43M, and I have been married for two years,

together for five. I had never been married before, this was my first. I have had relationships in the past, but Sean has been the person that I have connected with on most levels. He and I matched on a dating app and that's how we got together. He is a widower, his first wife passed away 12 years ago, leaving him with her stepson, Mitch, 17M. I didn't really have a problem with the fact that he had been married before and had a from his previous relationship as well, but after we got married, I learned that I was not only expected to be his wife, but also a stepmom to Mitch. And I meant that in a financial sense of the word, not emotionally. Because when we met, Mitch was already kind of mature, he was 12 and he was old enough to make up his mind about whether

he wanted me to be his mother or just his father's wife. And he picked the latter of the two options, which was fine by me because he did not really try to connect with me anyway. We were cordial, he was nice to me, and I was nice to him because he's a kid and I am used to teaching kids around his age. But there was always a line, a boundary that was not supposed to be crossed, and I kept that in mind whenever I was interacting with him, that I was only going to be nice to him, but I would not try to replace his mother. He had made it very clear to me that I would always be Tanya, my name, to him, but not his mom. And I respected that, I was not going to overstep. What I thought was kind of unfair was that Sean never really tried to build a relationship between the two of us, but when it came to

helping out with the finances, I was always expected to contribute to things that had to do with his son. So it felt kind of weird that Mitch did not consider his mother, he did not treat me like he would have treated his mother and Sean did not even seem interested in trying to build that sort of relationship between us. But then, I was expected to contribute to his tuition and everything. It did not make sense to me and I don't know if I'm just being a little too touchy about this, but it was like I was being forced to UT and raising a child that was not even mine, and I knew for a fact that this boy would grow up but never treat me like part of the family. And it wasn't as though I had not tried to build a mother-son relationship with him,

but he was really shut off, and I could understand that, but I just did not feel that it was fair for me to contribute to his expenses, since I was already not earning well enough. I had even discussed this with Sean in the early stages of our marriage. I had told him that I wanted him to speak to his son, and at least make sure that he put in an effort to build a relationship with me, or I would find it very weird to contribute to his expenses when he treated me like a stranger. And he got really pissed at me, he told me that if I could not accept the fact that he had a child

and if I could not split the expenses equally with him, then we probably shouldn't be married at all. And I did not want to lose him, so I stayed with him. I thought that maybe I was being unreasonable and I really did not want to be the kind of mother who tries to create drama between a son and his father, so I just kept my mind. mouth shut. So that was how things went on for the last few years. When Sean asked me to contribute to his college fund, I was not surprised because we had been discussing this back and forth, and I had told him that I would think about it. I had been planning to say no to that because a college fund is a big deal and I'm not getting any younger, I need to save for my own retirement as well.

I can't put aside everything to contribute to the life of a kid who is not going to treat me like family. I just found it very disrespectful and had made up my mind that this time, if Sean tried to guilt-trip me into contributing to the fund, I would fight back and not just accept whatever he said. But after I received my inheritance when we had the discussion, he did not try to guilt-trip me, but he told me that Mitch had been accepted into Yale and even showed me a very legitimate-looking email and letter. He told me that he had put off this discussion for long enough, but he wanted an answer about whether I would be willing to contribute to the college fund or not because if I did not do so, then Mitch probably would not be able to go to Yale. And he would be losing out on a pretty big

opportunity since an Ivy League school is a big deal, and since he had been accepted, he hadn't stopped talking about it. Sean had apparently already promised Mitch that he would make sure that he attended, by hook or by crook. But honestly, he did not have that kind of money and he could apply for a student loan, but then it would take ages to clear the debt and he didn't want that. So he pretty much requested me to consider it and I ended up saying yes, not out of pressure, but just because it was a big deal. And even though Mitch and I were not close, I would want him to take up this opportunity. So I said, yes, and Mitch left for college a couple of weeks ago. I think it has been almost two months since he left, or so I was told.

Both Sean and Mitch were over the moon when I had agreed to put off buying the car, just so that I would be able to contribute to the college fund, and both of them thanked me from the bottom of their heart. I had even started to believe that maybe Mitch was going to turn over a new leaf and genuinely start appreciating me as a person instead of just treating me like an acquaintance. I wanted us to have a relationship because it had been really weird to live in the same house for so long, but then not have anything to talk about, since he did not seem interested. Also, I just really wanted him to be able to go to the college of his dreams, so that was my intention. But all of that had been a lie, and I only found out about it last week. My friends and I went to a restaurant that was a little distance away from my workplace and the places that I usually visit. It was a new restaurant and there was a fancy high-rise apartment building kind of place

right opposite that restaurant. It was a very posh and rich neighborhood, that was for sure. My friends and I kind of treated ourselves to a girl's day out, but I received the shock of a lifetime. As we were leaving the restaurant, I saw Mitch coming out of the high-rise opposite. And he was not alone, he had his arm around a girl whom I recognized from his circle. It was not much of a task for me to put two and two together, but nevertheless, when my friends pointed that out to me, I still went up to him to confront him about it. He seemed shocked to see me and was about to run the other way, but I told him that the jig was

up anyway, so he might as well come clean to me now. If he was not at Yale, I knew that my money was not going to the place that I had intended for it to go, so I knew that he had been lying and he and his dad were in a lot of trouble anyway. So he might as well not bother to run and tell me the truth. Thankfully, I did not have to do much convincing. He ended up telling me everything right there. Apparently, he had no intention of going to college anyway. He just wanted money so that he would be able to rent an apartment and move in with his girlfriend. But if that's what he and his father had told me, I would have flipped out and would never have given them the money. My husband would not be able to support the two of them on his own anyway, since they wanted to live together in a fancy

place and didn't want to struggle since they were planning on starting a YouTube channel and they needed an aesthetic-looking place with a nice view for that kind of stuff, not just any old and dingy apartment, which is the only thing that they would be able to afford the kind of money that they had. So they had to lie to me, and I was never meant to find out about any of this until they were successful, and then, they would have returned the money back to me. But now that their lie had been caught, there was no running away from it. I went back home immediately, and I confronted my husband about it. And he broke down, telling me that he had just wanted to support Mitch, but it had been a stupid idea and he was regretting it all now. He claimed that he had wanted to tell me the truth last month when he realized that Mitch wasn't exactly going to be.

blow up with YouTube and they were just wasting my money. He was scared of how I would react. So he didn't even tell me and just kept trying to convince Mitch to come back and then they could tell me the truth and face the consequences. Well, now they are facing the consequences and I have left the house after the confrontation with my husband. I just had nothing left to say to him anymore, and he kept begging me not to leave, but I just packed my stuff as hard as I could, and then I left. I am living in my aunt's house. They don't know the address to that so they can't find me. Both of them have been trying to text me and get to me, but I haven't replied to any of them.

Mitch kept texting me to say that this was all his idea and that he was the one who had coerced his father into doing this, so I should not blame him, since he was just trying to support his son. I love the intention behind him taking the fall, but it doesn't help the situation. I am pissed and I really don't think that what happened was right. Before I had left the house, I had told Sean that he had to return the money to me immediately, or I would make sure that everybody got to know how dishonest he and his son were, and that would end Mitch's career as a YouTuber before it even began. The fact that he is involved in this wouldn't reflect well on him either since if his co-workers got to know about it, he would be in a lot of trouble at work since he was the guy who handled the accounts.

And I don't think anybody would want their accountant to be a dishonest man. They are begging me for forgiveness, especially Sean. because there is a lot at stake for him. He's begging me to come back so we can sort things out and also because he doesn't have the kind of money right now to return it to me. I don't care, I just want my money back, but I feel guilty about the way that I'm acting

since I'm really not as money-minded as I'm coming off right now, but what they did was unacceptable. I know what I'm doing is necessary, but I just feel kind of weird. I'd offer demanding my money back from my husband after I found out that my stepson is not actually going to an Ivy League school. Update 1, hey, thank you so much for all the comments on my post. For taking the time to explain to me that I am right and I have no need to feel guilty about anything.

Especially because I'm demanding my own money to be returned to me. I would just like to explain that I grew up in a home talking about money and finances was considered vulgar and so, I'm kind of weird and iffy when it comes to such things. But, now I know that it's okay for me to demand that they return my own money back to me. I don't have to feel bad about it. There were also a lot of comments that called me a doormat for putting up with Sean, but honestly, I really loved him. And maybe I still do, I'm not sure right now.

My emotions are all over the place, but at one point in time, I was certain that I loved him more than anything in this world. So naturally, I wanted to be with him, and I was ready to do whatever it took to stay. Also, even though Mitch treated me like a stranger, I could not bring myself to do the same to him. In case you guys have forgotten, I am a middle school teacher, and I was used to dealing with kids around his age when I first met him, so I knew how he was thinking, and I wanted to be able to make that space for myself and his heart on my own. That's why I guess I was trying to help out and contribute to his life and raise him, but I guess

it never worked out. He just decided that he was not going to accept me as part of the family and continue to treat me indifferently. All I can say is that I tried my best and maybe it did not yield any good results, but at least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I did what I had to do. I did everything right and now the fact that they took advantage of it, just shows the kind of people that they are. It does not reflect badly on me. I'm going through a tough time. I would just request people to be gentle and mindful of the words that they use. That's all I had to say about this. Anyway, it has been two weeks since I found out the truth and I have blocked both Sean and Mitch because their messages were really messing with my head.

I don't need that right now. I have spoken to a lawyer and we are going to file for a divorce in a couple of days. I have been putting it off for so long because I'm not emotionally ready for that kind of thing but now I know that it has to be done and it has to be done soon. We are preparing for it and we are going to start the proceedings soon enough. In the meantime, I really need my money back, so I decided to speak to my mother-in-law about this instead. and I don't have a particularly close relationship, but from what I know, she's a bit reserved but has always been there for anybody who has needed her help. I told her that I wanted to talk about something

that Sean and Mitch had done and she told me to visit her since this sounded like something that was very personal and sensitive, so she did not want to discuss it on the phone and wanted to meet me in person. I decided to take a leap of faith and agree to what she said, so I'm going to visit her this evening and I will let you guys know what happens. So far, I have no idea. what to expect, I'm just hoping that she doesn't talk to Mitch or Sean about what I said to her and I don't have to meet them when I get there, because that would be really awkward. I just don't know what's going to happen. So I'm just trying to keep my mind off of it. Update 2. Hello, I just came back from my mother-in-law's house and no, nobody was waiting there for me to ambush me. Before I get into what happened, I just really have to say this because I don't know who else to talk to about this. My mother-in-law is really an exceptionally nice woman. I hope everybody has somebody like her and their family. Even when I told my parents about the reaction that she had to do what I told her, they were quite surprised that she was ready to go against her own son just because she wanted to do the right thing. So anyway, when I visited

her today, I told her everything without even pausing while narrating the story to her because I just wanted to get everything out since I was scared of how she would react. After I was done talking, she was quiet for a while, and then she told me that she would handle everything, I did not have to worry about any of this. She told me that she would make sure that I got the money back, and even said that if she had cash at the moment, she would have returned the money to me herself, but she would have to withdraw the exact amount and that would require her to come back and it would take since she was old and was just generally exhausted every day. So, she told me that I could come back in a couple of days and she would have the money ready for me and that was a promise. She promised me that she would make sure that her son

did not cause too much trouble for me during the divorce since he had done enough. I almost had tears in my eyes because she was being so supportive and I really hadn't seen this coming. So she even comforted me and told me that she was going to try her best to be there for me, even though we were not close. But she knew that what her son had done was really messed up, as well as what her grandson had done. When I told her that I had been talked into covering the expenses for Mitch so far as well, she was really outraged and told me that that shouldn't have been the case. Because as far as she knew, Mitch never treated me like family. Even Sean had spoken to her about it and said that he didn't want to get into it because he did not want to make it seem he was taking my side over his own

sons and did not want to get into the drama. But making me feel guilty and then talking me into contributing to the family expenses, even though Mitch did not even treat me like a family member, did not seem fair either. She assured me that she would try her best to fix things and that gave me a sense of hope that maybe things were not going to be as bad as they are right now. If not for anything else, I would at least get my money back soon. Update 3, hey, it's been a big week for me. I don't even remember how many days it has been since I left my house, probably a little over a month. This week I filed for divorce. This week I filed for course. Sean is going to be served with the papers in a couple of days. And I also got my money back,

thank God for that. My mother-in-law told me that Sean had refused to send her any money since he had to look out for himself as well and he is not contractually obliged to give anything back to me. It was just my words against his, so he was not scared. I can't say that I was surprised, but I'm thankful that my mother-in-law was nice enough to return the money to me from her own pockets. She did not need to do that, but she did, and I really appreciate that. Sean and Mitch stopped trying to reach out to me after I blocked the numbers, even though they could have emailed me or something. But they did not try anymore, and I don't know if I should be relieved or upset that Sean has not bothered to reach out to me. I'm still confused about how I feel

right now, but I don't have time to think about these things because I still have to go to work and do all the work around the house myself. My aunt used to live in a considerably spacious house, so there's a lot of cleaning that I have to do. I also have to cook for myself, which takes up a lot of my time and energy, and then there's laundry and so many other chores, all of which I have to do on my own. But at least with this freedom comes the sense of knowing that I'm going to be able to do it eventually, and I don't have to rely on anybody, especially Sean. I was a little intimidated by the idea of living on my own after so long, but it's been relatively easy so far. And since I come back home from school really tired and then I have to get to cooking and

cleaning almost immediately, I don't even have time to think about Sean because as soon as my head hits the pillow, I'm fast asleep. I guess I would say that I'm lucky because I don't think I would have been able to handle overthinking at night. But the divorce is finally happening, it's real and in a few days, he is going to be aware of it as well once he gets served with the papers. Truth be told, I don't know how to feel. I don't know how he's going to take it. Whatever the case is, and whatever his reaction is, I know that I have to get through this on my own. I have been planning to take a few days off of work and then go back to my parents because I've been feeling really lonely.

And once he is served, I might just do it to avoid interacting with him. Update 4. So it has been two full months since I filed for a divorce and the proceedings are ongoing right now. He did not contest the divorce or stir any drama after he was served, which came as quite a shock to me. But then I received a call from my mother-in-law. She told me that she was the one who had spoken to Sean and told him that he was not going to contest the divorce or cause any more trouble for me because after what he had done, he owed this to me. He disagreed at first and said that he was not going to agree to the terms of the divorce because he thought that I was asking for too much, even though I don't

agree with that. I had just asked for all our joint purchases to be sold so we could split the money and I didn't even ask for anything that would be unfair. But I did ask for a settlement. I have also contributed a lot of money, more than I should have, especially because of Mitch. And I wanted my money back, I wasn't even asking for it all back, just the bare minimum. I felt like I had deserved it. In my head, I was being completely fair because I had been cheated out of a marriage. There was no other woman involved, but there were a lot of lies and cover-ups involved, so I think I was entitled to what I was asking for. And even if I wasn't, we could come to a settlement. That's why the entire negotiation process was even happening. However, my mother-in-law made sure that he did not contest anything and did not try to fight with me so that our divorce could happen as smoothly as it could.

I'm glad that she's taking my side, not a lot of people have such nice mothers-in-law like mine. I did go back to my parents to visit them for a couple of days after he was served, and I lived with them for a while, so if he tried to get up to anything in those few days, I was not aware of it. Anyway, we have had two mediation sessions so far and I think we are going to be able to wrap everything up by the next one. Wish me luck, you guys. Update 5. Hello, it has been six months since my last update. Lots of things have changed in my life. First off, my divorce came through a couple of weeks ago. Obviously, my husband and I have been separated for a really long time, it just became official. I have absolutely no contact with either Sean or Mitch after our last mediation session together. They apologized to me once we were out, it did not seem very heartfelt, but at least they said that they were sorry about everything.

It felt like more of a formality than anything else, but I told him that did not matter anymore, I was moving on. with my life. I got a lot of money from everything that we had sold. I also sold my aunt's house and moved into a smaller apartment since now I was going to be on my own. Also, I brought a car for myself. It's a pretty nice car and I have to admit, it was more expensive than I had initially intended to buy, but you only live once, right? So why not? Besides, I don't have to save money or think about anyone else before I buy anything. I might as well treat myself to something. I've been through a lot, I deserve this.

I am still continuing with my teaching job and also I have taken up more classes outside of school as well, so I can make more money. I hadn't done that earlier because I used to be really tired after school and I also wanted to spend time with Sean when I came back but now I think I'm going to conduct classes from home or online. I'm going to figure out a way but I've already told my friends to get the work. out. I'm going to stop restricting myself. I'm going to live life for myself and on my own terms.

So far, I've been worried about so many things, like my family, my husband, my stepson, my future, and whatnot, but eventually, nothing went according to plan. So now, I'm going to try and not plan stuff and see how it goes for a while. Thank you so much for caring about my life. I hope I have a much better update for you guys in a couple of months. I hope you enjoy this story. Following 20 years of matrimony, I am initiating a divorce from my spouse due to her engaging in liaisons with numerous individuals without my knowledge while we were apart during our university days.

My spouse, a 44-year-old female, and I, a 43-year-old male, have been married 20 years. We started dating in high school when I was a junior and she was a senior. We were long-distance for her first two years of college while I was in high school and did one year at community college. Then we went to college in the same city for a year, and have lived together since. We got married the summer after I graduated college. Our marriage has been pretty great so far, but I annotated a divorce after I discovered that she was sleeping with multiple other men for the two years we were long distance. Just after Christmas, we got together with a few friends of hers from college to catch up, have dinner, and hang out.

We talked about a lot of stuff and my wife mentioned that we met in high school, not that we dated, just that we met. Her old college room commented that it was crazy that we met in high school, had a few wild years in college, then ended up together. I played along and commented that I didn't know if my wife was as crazy as I was. The roommate started to tell a story, but my wife cut her off and said she was uncomfortable about it. I sensed something was up, so I said that we actually started dating in high school and were together for my wife's entire time at college. All of my wife's friends got real quiet and the rest of the dinner was awkward. On the way out, one of her other roommates took me aside and said I should have an honest

conversation about what happened at college. I asked my wife on the way home and she kind of blew me off. I told her it was important that she was honest with me and again she said it wasn't important. When we got home, I told her I was going to stay at my brother's house until she was ready to talk to about what happened in college. The next day she came over and admitted to Sleep Ting with several men during her first two years at college. She said she didn't consider it a big deal at the time because we were long distance and she didn't think a high school romance would last. I pressed for more details and she said it was at least 10 different men including at least three guys she introduced to me as friends when I came to visit on weekends and one guy she was

still in contact with. I told her that I wanted a divorce and would be starting the paperwork as soon as I could, which I did on January 2nd. Her family and most of my family is telling me I shouldn't throw away my marriage over a few mistakes. I've stood by my belief that cheating on me with multiple men for years is unacceptable no matter when it happened and the fact that she continued to maintain relationships with these guys right in front of me was an unacceptable amount of disrespect. We have two children, but they are 17 and 19 and I believe they will understand why I need to end the marriage. Am I wrong for leaving? I feel like I'm going crazy with the amount of people telling me to overlook years of infidelity and decades of lies.

Edit, holy shit I'm glad I did this with a throwaway because the response here is unexpected. I obviously can't answer every question slash comment, but I wanted to provide some detail for common questions. The reason I posted this is that my wife and a few friends have been saying it's common to sleep with other folks when you're in a long-distance relationship and that I'm kind of the odd one out for not sleeping around. I felt like I was being gaslit, but I wanted an outside perspective. We live in a state with a waiting period to finalize a divorce, so I felt it was a reasonable idea to get some insight before things are finalized. After these comments, I see a handful of folks saying it's normal to sleep around during a long-distance relationship, but it seems to be a significant minority.

We saw each other a couple of weekends a month during the two-year college period. I lived about three hours away from her college, so it was long-distance. but not like cross-country. This was not a situation where we went months without seeing each other. The three guys I met while she was in college were meetups that happened during parties. The subject of me being a boyfriend didn't really come up, so I honestly don't know if these guys knew anything. The one guy were still in contact with married a mutual friend from college.

This is not some guy she secretly messages on the side. It's somebody we've talked to regularly for years. I've talked to him a few times since I've learned about my wife. He said he didn't know we were dating at the time and has since blocked my wife on social media. Some folks have asked how the roommates didn't realize at our wedding that the timelines didn't work out. The main reason is that my wife and I had a very small ceremony with just close family in Texas, then went back to the East Coast to have a big party with friends. The typical reception slash sharing details about how we met stuff didn't really happen,

so her roommates didn't realize we started dating before college. It sounds like they thought we only dated for the year we were both in the same city, then moved and together. I was open to therapy or some kind of attempt to save the marriage, but her insistence that this whole thing is common and I'm the one who's out of line is just too much for me. The only time she showed any remorse or even offered to reconcile is when I started filing paperwork. In the last week she's gone back to saying she's right and I'm overreacting. This is also why I'm feeling like I'm being gaslit.

It seems obvious that this is a major issue, but I've got my wife and others telling me it's normal and I'm overreacting. I'm not getting a paternity test unless my kids want to get one. I don't have any doubts that they are biologically mine, and no test will make them not my kids. I love them more than anything in the world and my wife's infidelity won't change that even if one or both of them is not biologically mine. They've been my kids for 19 years and they will be my kids until I stop breathing. Final edit, hey y'all, I've been reading a bunch of the responses, but things are getting crazy and increasingly unhinged, so I probably won't be checking in more. Here are a few more answers to common questions I've seen.

We were definitely exclusively dating at the time. First, dating culture was a lot different 20-ish years ago and exclusive was kind of the default for most people. Second, we had a long and difficult discussion before she left for college about continuing the relationship long distance. She specifically wanted to stay together and even joked about her dad coming after me if I started sleeping around with girls at my school. Finally, at my senior prom, she was not able to attend and was very upset when I proposed going with a platonic female friend of mine. As a result, I ended up skipping my prom and hanging out with her instead. While we never said the word I think the above reasons, combined with the general relationship before she left, are enough

to assume exclusivity. Based on some comments here, I followed up with the friend that said I should have an honest conversation. She told me that 10 guys would be on the low end and that her biggest concern was that there was apparently at least one pregnancy scare that I didn't know about. I honestly don't think that really changes much. It's less about the number for me and more about the fact that she seems incapable of recognizing why this was wrong or why I feel betrayed. Thank you all for the helpful responses, even those that disagree with me. I will still be open to therapy if she's willing, but I honestly feel like it would be more about us being successful co-parents and finding closure than saving our marriage.

Additional info. On if the wife is willing to work to repair the marriage. It would change a lot if I felt that she wanted to fix this. Throughout our conversation about it, she repeatedly dismissed my feelings and told me I was overreacting to totally normal behavior. She didn't show any regret or consideration for how it hurt me until she realized I was serious about divorce. Then she got defensive and angry. She didn't offer to fix things in any way until I started the paperwork and notified her that I had a lawyer. I think we can navigate being parents.

Our kids are older and I've been putting away money for college slash post high school for a long time, so a lot of the custody and monetary issues that come up shouldn't be a big problem. We're also both financially stable and make good money. On the timing of everything. I've hired a lawyer, he drafted an intent to separate, and sent her a copy-certified mail. As far as I know, that's not any legal divorce paper with the state, but rather a part of the process to ensure that she has an opportunity to hire her own lawyer if she wants to contest it.

Actually going through the divorce will likely take months. I'm not really moved out. I've been crashing at my brother's place while I make arrangements for a more prementant living scenario. As far as timing goes, the dinner happened on the 26th. I went to my brother's house that night to cool off and give her a chance to think about things. We talked several times over the course of four to five days and she made it clear that she didn't believe she didn't anything wrong. If there was any kind of remorse slash basic consideration of my feelings on her part, I probably would have waited. However, she didn't so I found a divorce lawyer and he had boilerplate

intent to separate agreements that we filled out and sent over the same day. Even now, we're obviously not legally divorced and I don't even know if there is a legal concept of separation in my state, but I've made it clear this is happening and started the process. Update 1, February 5, 2024. I wanted to provide some updates here as my original post got a lot of traction. First, let's talk about the things I learned about the situation in college. After talking to my wife in sessions and texting with two of her roommates, it's clear that her roommates knew something was up in college. They said they though the situation was weird and likely involved cheating. My wife had told them that we both had some wild times in college and worked it out before we got married,

so they never really brought it up. The roommate who pulled me aside recently was uncomfortable with the fact that my wife clearly didn't talk it through with me, and wanted me to know. As far as being introduced to guys she slept with, apparently that was not intended. For one of the guys, he ended up dating and then marrying one of our mutual friends from college. This is the guy she was in contact with. In the other situations, she initially blamed me in the counseling session, but has now agreed it was bad. When I went to visit her, she planned to hang out in the room or just hang out together alone, but I wanted to go to a few parties because in HS and community college, I didn't really

have parties to go to. She didn't expect me to meet the guys, but they were at the parties and she felt she didn't really have a choice. I still think this is kind of shitty, but it's not as bad as her intentionally parading me in front of the guys. Most of our discussion and therapy has been talking about why I think it's a big deal and she doesn't. She initially said that none of these guys were in relationships with her and it was mostly one night stands or FWB. Since she didn't view them as romantic relationships, she didn't see the big deal, her words not mine. My opinion is that we never said that was okay and she actively prevented me from doing the same. After digging into this across two sessions and my wife talking to some friends, she now agrees that it was a breach of our

trust slash relationship. This is the shared understanding that has helped us talk about this situation more honestly and helped us get from arguing to talking, which is why I'm optimistic about co-parenting. Now, here's why I'm 100% set on divorce. Two things came up that make me want to leave the marriage. First, about 10 years ago, we went through a really rough patch and had a dead bedroom for about two years. She had expressed that our sex life was becoming boring, so I tried to spice things up, nothing crazy, just role play and like Spencer's gift-level sex toys. Apparently, she had been hung up some sexual experiences that happened in college that she is not

comfortable talking about and wanted me to try them. But when I did it made her feel awkward and guilty that it made her think of other men while she was with me. The fact that she's saying these experiences were meaningless, but they're still impacting our marriage tells me they meant more than she wants to say. Second, she admitted that she has been flirting with coworkers on business trips since the pandemic ended. She says she has never slept with anybody, but it got as far as going on a date with one of her male co-workers. That was the absolute deal. breaker for me. We have told our children that were getting a divorce. We told them it was due to some bad decisions that we made in college that were having trouble moving past. My 19-year-old,

who is in college, asked me if I cheated on my wife while she was away at college. My wife got a little shaken up, but admitted to the kids that she's the one who cheated. We have agreed to not share any additional details with the kids. I reinforced that both us will be there for the kids and that we are in therapy to help make sure we handle this in the best way for the family. I also told the kids that if they wanted to talk to either of us or a therapist about it, that I would fully support it. We've started talking to a mediator about how to proceed with the divorce, and unless things change, we should be able to have an amicable divorce. We're both financially stable on our own, we have no major debts, and our kids are older, so custody isn't a major issue.

This has been a shitty couple of months for me, but I'm doing okay now. and I honestly am grateful that my last post blew up because it both validated some of my feelings, but also motivated me to go to counseling with my wife. Comments where O.P. has replied, Historical Pi 50-52. Sorry O.P., but this is for the best. She's been keeping you in the dark for over 20 years. She says she has never slept with anybody, but it got as far as going on a date with one of her male co-workers.

If you believe this then I got a bridge on Mars to sell you. you. Dead bedrooms for young couples usually mean someone is getting somewhere else. Boop. I don't really believe it, but I also don't think it's worth it to dig into it more. I'm going to get an STD panel done to make sure I'm safe and I really don't need to know anymore. If it was just a date, we're getting divorced. If it was more, we're still getting a divorce, so pushing the issue won't do anything but make it harder for us to co-parent. I'm also reasonably sure that she was cheating during our dead bedroom situation. We were having sex like once every two to three months

and we usually have sex two to three times a week. Again, I have enough to know it's time to move on and I digging more into it will only make the divorce harder. No underscore 1-7-7-7-7-7-7. Has she even apologized for everything she put you through? Especially the part where she went on a date with some asshole? Boop. Before our counseling and at the first appointment, she was not apologetic.

In the second appointment, the focus was for me to explain the effect it had on me. She has expressed remorse and apologized repeatedly since that session. It's too little too late, but she's not some kind of emotionless monster. Muffugly 13. I'm super curious to know what kind of sexual things she was hung up on from her past that she felt uncomfortable doing with you. That alone seems very red flaggy. Boop. I didn't really want to dig into it too much.

Right before the dead bedroom stuff started, she was asking to experiment with new stuff in the bedroom. It was mostly BDSM kind of stuff that was a little more intense than I was comfortable with. At the time, 50 Shades was popular and she got into some other smutty kind of reading. I attributed the change in sex to that, but my guess is that some of the guys she was with in college were into BDSM stuff. Maybe it was a combination of the two. She hasn't admitted to cheating during that time,

but I'd be willing to bet the dead bedroom at home was because she found another person to do kinky shit with. When asked about why the daughter thought he cheated. To be fair, my 19-year-old daughter had some issues with shitty boyfriends who have either cheated or dumped her suddenly to be with somebody else. I'm also the one who left the house. Given her experience with men and the fact that I'm the one,

one who left the house, it makes sense that would be her first thought. When cheating came up, my wife made it clear that she was the one who cheated. Tbh, I'm not really too concerned about the narrative here. From what I can tell, she hasn't said anything bad about me to our kids. In addition, given her admission of recent flirting slash cheating and the fact that she's ready to file a joint, amicable divorce after six weeks and three counseling sessions, I think she was ready to move on before I was. It makes the logistics of the divorce easier, but it hurts a bit to realize she's having an easier time walking away from a 20-year marriage than I am. Bupwin told not to be surprised if she starts dating again. I'm pretty sure that she's already

looking. We've had one meeting with an equitable divorce mediator and she specifically stated that we are married until the divorce is final and any adultery that happens before that date could jeopardize the amicable divorce settlement. It seems kind of dumb to me since we're getting divorced due to infidelity, but my STBX was visibly grumpy when that came up. I also imagine that the fact that I'm living in the guest room isn't helping her prospects. At the end of the day, I'm doing my best to try to accept that our marriage is over and I've been going to therapy on my own. In addition to our couple's therapy, to help deal with it. I'm mentally prepared for the fact that there's a good chance I see the co-worker she only dated

again, but I'm also hopeful that I can find a place and be ready to move out before the divorce is finalized. If everything goes well and we can create a plan with the mediator, we will be divorced by summer, I will be in my own place, and she can just date whichever co-worker she wants. Now on to the next story. Story 2. I want a free car. My boyfriend and his family seem to think I'll give it to him for free. So I, 23F, want a brand new compact car and a a raffle I entered a few weeks ago at a trade show I was at for work. Which is awesome, but I already have an older car that I really like, and I just finished paying it off, so I can finally pay the cheaper liability-only insurance. My car still has a lot of life on it,

it only has about 100K miles, and if I were to choose a brand new car it would not be the one that I won. I did some research, and after taxes and shipping I can make about 14 to 15K from selling the car. That money would be an incredible just start after graduating college, it would more than triple my savings. My boyfriend, 25M, of a little over a year has been without a car for a few months. He's been struggling a bit financially so he hasn't gotten a new one yet, but he can walk to the grocery store, he gets a ride to work, and I drive anywhere else. It's worked out fine and I really don't mind. He helps out with gas and driving. For background, he lives with with friends, I live with my dad for free, so I'm able to save up money. I definitely see a future

with him, but we aren't at the point where we've talked about moving in together yet, but we are very serious. I went to a gathering at his parents' house last night, his whole family has been wonderful and welcoming to me, and everyone congratulated me on winning the car. But everyone, including my boyfriend, seemed to think the logical and obvious step was to either give it to my boyfriend, or give him my car and keep the new one. I don't plan to do either of these things. It would be different if we were married or living together and our money was mixed together, but it's not, we aren't at that point in the relationship yet. I don't want to give him what would essentially be $15,000 in cash. It doesn't make any sense. If I'd won the money instead,

there wouldn't be any talk of just giving it all to him. That car and the resulting money should be mine. it's not my responsibility to provide him with a free car, whether it be my $5,000 car that I really like, or this brand new one. For the dinner at his family's house I just stayed quiet because I was so shocked at their assumption and didn't want to rip it away from him in front of his entire extended family. How do I break this to him and his family that this car and the money from it is not in any way his? Update 1, April 14, 2016. I just found out I won a new car and a raffle I entered at a work-funk. I planned to sell the car to make about $14,000, but at my boyfriend's family gathering, everyone seemed to assume I'd give him the car because he doesn't have one. So the day after the family gathering where everyone assumed I'd just let my boyfriend use the car for free, I had to drive into the city where I won the car to sign a bunch of paperwork and pay some fees.

We both had the day off, so I texted my boyfriend and asked if he'd like to come along so we could walk around the city and go out to eat afterwards. He agreed and I picked him up. We hadn't talked about the night before at all. He asked general questions about what it was I had to do today, and I explained that and then I explained how the taxes on the car were going to be several thousand dollars, but luckily I could cover them with my savings until I got the money for selling the car, and hopefully it would come out to around $14,000 to $15,000. Based on my brother's calculations.

He was quiet for a minute and asked you don't want to keep it. And I said no, that I was happy with the older bigger car I currently. have. It better suits our needs and I can pay cheaper insurance on it because it's paid off. He said that he didn't realize the taxes would be so much. It was awkward in the car for a moment and I finally just asked, did your family think I'd give you the car to use? He said his mom told everyone right before I got there that we, meaning BF and I, won the car and that he'd finally have something to drive. He said that he didn't think I'd do that, but he assumed I'd want to keep the new car simply because it was new, and that maybe I'd let him use my old car if he took

over the insurance payments. But then he very quickly said that he did not realize the taxes would be more than a few hundred dollars. I guess his train of thought makes sense given what he assumed about the cost. He agreed that it made the most sense to sell the new car. I asked if he was going to explain that to his mother, and he said that he would, and that she views the two of us like a married couple already, because she wants that so badly for him and has been heavily pressuring him to propose to me. That I did not know. Neither of us are at a point where we're even remotely ready for that. We're happy with where we are right now. He promised he'd talk to his mom and explain everything to his family and that he wouldn't let any of them think less of me. I was worried about that.

So he waited patiently while I dealt with the company running the raffle. It ended up taking over three hours, and then we had a nice time strolling around the city and I treated us to a very nice dinner. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling did not include me in her marriage celebration, yet extended invitations to all of my acquaintances, who then arrived dressed in extravagant attire as a form of retaliation from my exclusion. As the elder sister, it was quite unexpected and somewhat amusing to witness the spectacle. Sibling I was always expected to take care of Gigi from the time we were both kids. My parents expected me to pick up after her, help her with her homework, walk with her after school, and play with her because they were too busy with work.

Sometimes even after work, my mother would come back and complain about how she didn't have the energy to spend time with Gigi and would ask me to read her a bedtime story. Gigi also didn't make it any easier on me. She would often say mean things and had trouble understanding social cues. She would say things to people without thinking which would ultimately land me in trouble. For example, my parents would force me to take Gigi with me if I wanted to go out with my friends for an outing or to their birthday parties. And one time, Gigi came along with me to my best friend's place for her 13th birthday. We had all got her various gifts with our pocket money, which my best friend was very happy to receive. She also

opened up a gift that her grandparents had sent her and it was a Barbie doll house. Granted that we were a bit old to still play with Barbie, but clearly my friend loved the gift and she seemed a bit sentimental over it. Out of nowhere, Gigi started giggling and when we all turned to look at her, she remarked how it was a dumb gift. I looked back at my friend alarmed and embarrassed for the way Gigi behaved. My friend looked heartbroken while Gigi kept giggling. I apologized to my best friend and told her that I was going to take Gigi back home. I was so, so embarrassed for how my sister behaved in front of everyone and was mean to the birthday girl for no reason. When I dragged Gigi back home and asked her why she would do something like that, she only smiled and told me

that she said what we were all thinking and it was not her fault if my friend got hurt. I was so pissed and disappointed with her behavior. Later, when I told my parents about it, thinking they might be able to talk to her and let her know what she did was wrong, they instead started to lecture me about being a better sibling. They told me that I should not feel embarrassed Gigi in front of others and that I should stop being friends with people who can't handle the truth. I was floored by their reactions. Looking back, I can see how they always gaslight me in multiple situations just to condition me into accepting my sister and taking care of her while she would get away with doing things like this scot-free. As I kept growing up, would start to rebel and stand up to

my parents when they would force me to take care of Gigi or take her to various events with my friends. I would straight up tell them that Gigi can hang out with her own friends or they can take care of her because I needed my own time. They would accuse me of trying to leave her out of things and not being a good sister to her since Gigi didn't have any friends. It was true that Gigi didn't have any friends and this was completely her own fault that she would say outright mean things to everyone in the name of being honest and this would ultimately hurt people's feelings. This also led to Gigi sitting in lunch hours alone as no one wanted to sit with her so my parents would force me to include Gigi on my table, which I absolutely detested. Eventually, after hearing

multiple lectures from my parents, I did let Gigi join me and my friends and hang out with us. When I went to college, this is when I experienced true freedom. At first, my parents wanted me to go to a college near to my place, but I worked hard and luckily through a scholarship was accepted into a reputed university hundreds of miles away from home. My mother begged me to not go saying how Gigi would miss me and that I needed to take care of my sister and be a good big sis, but I did not care a dime. I moved out of their home into my dorm and never looked back. I was so happy to be away from my family that even during vacations or long weekends, I never went back home. It was like I could breathe again for the first time and I didn't want to go back to the suffocation back at my home.

Now I was part of a Facebook group with my friends from school and I had also added Gigi to the group since she would hang out with us. In this group, Gigi would sometimes message and ask if anybody would like to hang out with her, but not a single person would reply back to her. Granted that some of my friends, like me, had moved miles away for college, but I knew a few who were still living in the same hometown yet they were not interested in hanging out with her. I knew that my friends only hung out with Gigi since I was forced by my parents to take her with me, but now that I was not there, they had no reason to hang out with her. I didn't blitz. I didn't blame them since Gigi never stopped being mean with her comments towards them, so I respected

their decisions whatsoever. Yet Gigi would keep asking people in the group to hang out with her. I also heard from some of them that Gigi would try to call them directly to see if they wanted to hang out with her, but they would either make up some excuses or ignore her calls. Meanwhile, Gigi and I hardly talked. She and I had always been forced to be together and I suspect she didn't like me as much as I didn't enjoy her company either. So now that I was away from home, we hardly ever messaged each other. My parents would sometimes call to give me updates about her life and tell me how I should try to visit them soon and spend time with Gigi, but I paid no heat to them. During my final year of college, I had gone back home since we were all having

a school reunion. I was quite excited to see my old friends again and hang out with everyone. When Gigi learned about this, she insisted that she wanted to join me as well since she wanted to hang out with my friends. But this time I sternly told her that these were my friends who I had spent my school days with and she had no right to intrude in this event. My parents tried to argue with me, but I quickly shut them down. I informed them that Gigi needed to have her own friends and her own life without forcing me to take her everywhere since we were not kids anymore. I thought this would be the end of this matter. During the reunion, I found myself immersed in a wave of nostalgia and laughter as we all shared stories and caught up with each other.

We reminisced about our school pranks and inside jokes. I was having such a good time with everyone. As my friends and I sat down for lunch during the reunion, out of nowhere, Gigi walked into the restaurant uninvited. I was shocked and frustrated to see her, as I had clearly told her to stop interfering in my life, but here she was. Gigi approached our table, and before I could say anything, she loudly declared, Oh, I missed you guys.

The awkward silence that followed was palpable. Everyone looked confused between me and her since they didn't expect her to show up. Gigi, oblivious to the discomfort, pulled up a chair and started talking about how long it had been since she had seen everyone. I was pissed seeing the nerve my sister had to talk to my friends right in front of me at an event where she was not even invited. My friends, trying to be polite, made small talk with her. I could see from everybody's faces how uncomfortable they all felt and we could not talk freely. After we had lunch, I took Gigi aside and asked her to go back home, but she dismissed saying

that this wasn't a big deal and that I should get over myself because these were her friends also. She was starting to get on my nerves with her nonchalant attitude and I was slowly seeing red, so I decided to teach her a lesson. I took her back to my friends and decided to address the situation publicly to them in order to get their opinions. So once and for all, Gigi understood how embarrassing her behavior was. I asked them if anybody felt it appropriate that little sister had come uninvited to our reunion. To my relief, some of my friends echoed my sentiments and told Gigi that they did feel uncomfortable with her since they were not close to her. My school best friend, then trying to smooth the matter, told Gigi that they could hang out with her some other day.

But for today, they would like it if it was just the old classmates hanging out. Gigi looked embarrassed hearing their reactions and I couldn't help but feel satisfied watching her learn a valuable lesson about boundaries. She shot me an angry glance, clearly blaming me for this fiasco, and Somboli walked out. That night, after I returned home from the after party of my reunion, my parents confronted me about what happened and told me how I embarrassed Gigi in front of everyone by kicking her out. I explained to them how no one wanted her there and she had barged into our reunion uninvited, so she needed to apologize to me. But my parents started insisting that she is my sister and I need

to be more understanding. My mother told me how Gigi always finds it difficult to make friends and no one wants to hang out with her. So she was excited to meet my friends knowing that they had always been sweet to her. I retorted back how I had been understanding about Gigi for years, but these people were only nice to her because I was their friend and they clearly didn't want to be around her otherwise. Gigi, who had perhaps been hearing our argument, barged into the room saying how everyone liked her and it was me who was trying to take her friends away from her. I started laughing hearing this and told her that if that was the case, then why didn't a single friend of mine hang out with her for all these years whenever she would message in our group

chat or even call them. Gigi looked at me hurt and started justifying how everyone was just busy and it didn't mean anything, but I retorted back that everyone was just busy hanging out with her because they were not her friends. I know this might have been a mean thing to say, but I wanted Gigi to know the truth. My dad started saying how I was being selfish and I should apologize to Gigi for what I said, but I remained steadfast that it was Gigi who had crossed a boundary by barging into our reunion when no one wanted her there and it was time she needed to face the consequences of her own actions. This was the last straw that broke my and Gigi's relationship completely. Since then, we never spoke to each other nor did we even try to be nice

to each other whenever we met over the holidays. Years later, when I was getting married, my parents forced me to invite her saying how bad Gigi would feel about not getting invited and that they didn't want the rest of the family to know that there was any bad blood between us. I reluctantly invited her as a guest and my parents wanted me to make her my bridesmaid, but I put my foot down and threatened that I would uninvite her if they kept pushing me. Fortunately, I have a loving and supporting partner like my husband, Kyle, who understood the dynamics of the relationship between me and my sister and never questioned why I didn't want to involve her more in our wedding. Over the years, I have been polite to Gigi, but never bonded with her beyond that.

Now, coming on to the incident at hand, Gigi just married a week ago. Her husband, Rick, is 15 years older than her, whom she met while working at a restaurant. Gigi could never hold on to a job for very long and had always talked to my parents about getting married so Rick was her night in shining armor. She was ecstatic about finally settling down. When she sent out her marriage invitations, I found out from my cousins and parents, it was not surprising that I didn't receive any. I honestly didn't care since she and I didn't have a good relationship anyway.

However, to my surprise, Gigi sent out a virtual invitation to all my friends on the very same Facebook group where I had added her years ago. I had kind of forgotten about the group since no one uses Facebook anymore and was kind of taken aback that she would invite my friends to her wedding when none of them even spoke to her. Some of these friends did reach out to me to ask if I would be attending as well and I told them how Gigi never invited me which shocked them that she would invite them. I told them that I didn't really mind if they chose to attend since I had no relationship with her whatsoever. I guess this news must have spread like wildfire among my friends because a bunch of

them messaged me saying how rude it was for my sister to invite them as they were almost strangers to her now. But not invite me when I used to take care of her and look out for her while we were growing up. I tried to make it clear that I was okay with her decision to not invite me but because Gigi had publicly invited every one of my friends in the group and not me, it seemed to my friends like she had deliberately chosen to exclude me. I did have a talk with my friends. I did have a talk with my parents regarding this and I reminded them how they had forced me to invite her to my wedding in the name of a family but my mother started justifying how this was Gigi's decision on the guest list and they didn't have a say in this. Feeling betrayed, I told them how she had invited all my

friends which had led everyone to question why she would deliberately single me out but my parents, as usual, stuck by her side and told me that those were her friends also and Gigi would love it if they attended her wedding. I saw that there was no point in talking to my family so I didn't bring up this conversation again. Last week, on the day my sister got married, I spent the day with my husband and my son. Kyle knew that I was a bit upset so he took us out to the beach and we had a good time. I switched off my phone since I like having tech-free days while spending time with my loved ones. When I returned home, I was flooded with multiple messages and voice calls from my sister and my parents. Confused and unable to comprehend what was happening, I opened the last message from Gigi,

a picture attached. She had written how this was all my fault and that she would never forgive me for spoiling her day. The picture attached was of some of my friends and I gasped looking at the picture. My friends were wearing floor-length multicolored gowns which looked absolutely ridiculous. One of them was even wearing a fancy boa draped around her neck while another hat on a summer hat. I could not understand why anybody would ever wear these types of dresses to attend a wedding. It definitely looked less like a wedding and more like a fancy dress competition and I couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous they all looked. My sister then called me clearly trying to reach me throughout the day and when I picked up, she started screaming at how selfish I was for ruining her wedding. I tried to calm her down saying that I had no idea why my friends would dress up like that and she kept blaming me saying that I was just jealous of her and knowingly had asked them to dress up like that which had turned her wedding into a laughing show.

I kind of felt bad for her, but I just couldn't understand why she would blame me even though I had nothing to do with this. My parents have also messaged me saying how disappointed they are with me and I should have stopped my friends from dressing up like that which is absolutely preposterous. I don't know if I should clarify the matter or let them keep blaming me. I have started to think my friends might have turned up like that since they all knew that my sister didn't invite me and I kind of feel like this is a bit of my fault. I feel like I should have clarified the matter better to them. Ida for my friends turning my sister's wedding into a fancy dress competition. Update 1. I talked to Kyle and we both felt that I should clear the matter with my family but first I needed to reach out to my friends for an explanation.

By now, images from Gigi's wedding have flooded social media and a lot of people have found out about this incident. I gathered my friends through a video call and asked them about their choice of dressing. To my surprise, my friend straight up revealed that they had decided to dress up as a way of subtly protesting against Gigi's habit of inserting herself into situations. Without a specific dress code mentioned in the invitation, they took the opportunity to make a statement. They confessed that, over the years, they grew tired of Gigi's persistent attempts to be part of our group and she would sometimes even badmouth me behind my back which they clearly didn't like. Despite understanding that I was often compelled by my parents to include Gigi, they held on to the hope that she would eventually realize their boundaries but she never did. Gigi's intruding into our reunion reminded them of how annoying she had always been. When they discovered that Gigi had deliberately excluded me from the wedding invitation, they decided it was the perfect moment to teach her a lesson.

It became evident that my friends saw through Gigi's actions and had always regarded her as more of a nuisance than a genuine friend. Their unconventional fancy dresses to her wedding were their way of expressing their frustration and delivering a subtle message to Gigi that they were not her friends. When I shared the details of Gigi blaming me for the wedding fiasco, my friends were genuinely apologetic. They immediately offered to send her a group text, affirming that the idea was entirely their own, absolving me of any involvement. Grateful for their support, I assured them that I didn't hold them responsible for the unexpected turn of events at Gigi's wedding. While their choice of attire might have seemed unconventional, I understood the frustration that fueled their actions. I told them that my primary concern was ensuring that Gigi and my parents grasped the message they were trying to convey about respecting boundaries and that I shouldn't be blamed for this. Since our talk, my friends have sent an apology to Gigi and our Facebook group telling her how it was their idea to dress up that way and I had no idea about all this.

I know Gigi has seen that message because instead of replying back to them, she called me and started going off about how I'm just trying to escape responsibility and clearly I was manipulating my friends. She told me how her wedding has become the laughing stock in the family and how those ridiculous pictures are circulating on social media as well. I understood her frustration, so I told her as politely as possible that she couldn't blame me for what my friends wore to her wedding when I wasn't even invited to her wedding in the first place. I told her that even though my friends have outright admitted that I wasn't involved in their planning and she still chose to not believe me that I couldn't do much about it. I reiterated that I had no intention of sabotaging her wedding day

and that my friends were merely expressing their frustration with her intrusive behavior over the years. Despite my explanation, it became evident that Gigi was unwilling to accept any explanation that didn't align with her beliefs so I quickly wrapped up the phone call. My husband, my husband, believes that my parents can help sort this out, but I don't think they will be able to until Gigi believes the truth. I don't know if they will be of any help, but I will talk to them this coming weekend and see if they can straighten this out. Update 2, Hi Everyone. It's been a week since my last update. As expected by everyone, talking to my parents didn't really help the situation in any way. It worsened the situation even more if possible. As I explained the situation, I was

met with unexpected blame. They argued that I should have controlled my friends, implying that the unconventional attire was somehow my responsibility. My attempt to clarify that I had no knowledge of my friend's plan fell on deaf ears. My parents, as usual, sided with Gigi, expressing disappointment and suggesting that I should have warned Gigi about my friends. I looked at them confused and told them how I wasn't even part of their discussions and they had done all this without my knowledge, but my parents, like Gigi, refused to believe that. Feeling frustrated and misunderstood, I realized that resolving the issue with my family

might be more challenging than I initially thought. The strained relationship between Gigi and me, coupled with my parents' persistent bias towards her, seemed to cloud any hope of a fair resolution. Kyle, who had come with me for this discussion, decided to stand up for me and told my parents straight to their faces that I wasn't the sort of person who could stab someone in the back like that, especially my own sister. He said that on the day of Gigi's wedding, we were away since we had not

been invited and we had no idea about such a thing even happening. He explained that it was unfair for my family to place blame on me without any evidence. My mother protested saying how I might have instigated my friends to dress up that way when I told everybody that I wasn't invited but Kyle replied back that I had mentioned to my friends that I was okay with not being invited so what they chose to do was not on us. I could see that my parents were not. not going to back down, so I told them that if they didn't want to believe me, then there was no point in having this conversation further. I also told them that for years I had listened to them and taken care of Gigi, but now I was done being their scapegoat. I told them of my decision to

cut Gigi off from my life permanently and my mother started to protest, but my father held her back. With that we decided to leave my parents' place to distance ourselves from the situation, hoping that when their emotions would subside, they would subsequently see the truth. Unfortunately, they haven't reached out to me yet, so I guess they're going to stick by their beliefs. It's sad to see how they clearly favor my sister over me even though I was the one who always helped her out. I don't know what the future holds for us, but if my parents are choosing to support my sister then I will let them make that choice, even if it's disappointing. I have blocked Gigi for now and plan on keeping it that way in the future. Update 3, wow, it's been five months since my last update.

A lot has happened since my last post. First of all, I've been going to therapy. I know a lot of you guys suggested this since I've had a lot of trauma in my childhood and I needed to go to therapy and vent out my frustration and feelings. Therapy has changed my life. I feel so much lighter now. I know exactly how to express myself now and I know that I did the right thing by standing up for myself in regards to Gigi's wedding incident. My parents did sometimes try to reach out to me

over the months, but instead of clarifying or even apologizing to me for all the blaming that they did, they acted like nothing ever happened between us. I quickly realized that they only wanted to talk to me so they could have a connection with my son, their only grandchild, so I quickly cut them off. I don't want them to ever get the opportunity to treat my child the same way they treated me. In the meantime, Kyle and I have focused on our own lives, finding solace in the support we provide each other. I have said this before and I will say it again. Kyle is a wonderful husband. He knows how tough a decision it was for me to cut off my parents, but he has never made me feel alone in this choice. We are planning on taking a vacation with our son this upcoming holiday. All I can say from this

incident is that if you have a family member in your life who is this toxic, then please for your own mental health, remove them from your life. It's not worth letting them poison your life. Trust me, you're going to find someone someday who is going to love you and support you for who you are. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner caused all her companions to prevent me on social platforms and claimed both her guardians had passed away several months prior to our marriage. During my trip to her city, I encountered her mother, living there fine. So my me fiancé, GF, age 32 doesn't want me, age 28M, to talk to her best friends at all before marriage. We have been dating since the last 2.5 years and those 2.5 years has been mostly public. Public in the sense that both me and her

like to post pictures or reels of ourselves from vacations or times together and we were very clear that we were in a relationship on Instagram. However, she doesn't have a a lot many real-life followers from office or personal life on her Instagram. She has around seven or eight really good friends who she meets on a regular basis and one cousin. We are both matured adults and decided to get married in the coming year in 2024 November or December since we started dating. So I thought it would be better if I introduced her to my family too last month, so I took her consent and decided to meet with my family at a good restaurant in the city. My family got to know her and they liked her and decided to fix the date for our

but my GF said it would be too early for her to get married this year. So we eventually decided to fix the marriage date for February 2025, six months from now. Usually in my city, it's a requirement to book the marriage halls early enough so that you get a proper hall. So I took her consent and discussed with my family and booked a hall for marriage. Few days later she also went and booked a hall for her side of the party. It is normal to have parties from both bride and grooms' sons. in our culture. Basically so far I have made her meet my family and one female friend of mine who lives in a different town with her BF and both of the meetings were proper well-planned meetings.

She also met maybe another friend of mine accidentally in the mall. I however have never met her friends in that manner, only once or twice I met some friends by accident as I was driving my GF somewhere and two to three of her friends also hopped in and we just spoke a few words as we traveled in the car. but her friends were aware that we were dating of course. Now a strange incident happened last week which left me really confused. It was a text from a friend of hers on Instagram. Before this I had never spoken to this friend of hers except for only once, a year back, when my GF wasn't talking to me as we had a fight and so I texted this friend of hers

and asked her politely to talk to my GF once as she is a good friend. She said, okay, I will surely talk. And also I texted her friend only because I was. I felt my GF back then was going through a lot of things and probably she would need a friend to discuss properly as she had a huge financial loan, etc., and even had a fight with me and her family for some reasons. Shortly afterwards I got a call from my GF regarding me Deng her friend on Instagram and she asked me very angrily to never talk to her again. To which I was surprised but I complied as our relationship wasn't so stable back then and I gave her space to

settle. And after a while that day, I got a message from her friends saying, hey, sorry I can't help you in this and she blocked me on Instagram. I was okay and didn't react back, etc., so this was last year's incident. Now this same friend texted me suddenly last week as she was not able to reach my GF over call and she was tensed as what was going on. I politely replied back saying, hey, she's all right, probably busy with office work I will inform my GF that you are trying to reach her. I called my GF and said her friend called to which she was like, oh Lord what, why does she have to text you? Please block her. her on Instagram, I found it very weird to block that friend and immature at the same time.

So I told her I won't, so my GF told me that if I want then her friend will. Few moments later I saw I was again blocked on Insta by her friend. Actually this time around it made me a little angry and I ended up texting her on her other Insta handle and told her, hey, how are you doing? I didn't like what you just did and this is not a very respectable way to talk to someone. I also wrote if your husband has some self-respect he should also not text my girlfriend when you guys are having issues. Then she replied saying, hey, my husband. Me and her were in her life much before you came to her life.

After which I politely explained that I didn't mean to break their friendship and only wanted to make their bond better and just felt disrespectful for being blocked twice when I wanted to just talk to them once or get to know slash meet them. So she didn't reply to this and informed my GF and my girlfriend again came out angrily and was very angry with me as I referred her friend's husband. I felt that was the only logical way to express myself. I was serious about her and made her meet my family and friends.

She had no family members her parents also passed away and cousins live in other countries or far away now, but her friends would be the ones who would be present at our wedding from her side. So I expected her to take me a little more seriously and maybe not ask her friends to block me at least on Instagram. She often visits this female friend's house and sometimes they have sleepovers and sometimes even part of with this friend and her husband in their house, birthday parties, or some other reason. I never got to properly go out or meet any of her friends in an official go-out slash me kind of sense.

I expressed her couple of times that your friend brings her husband and baby along in group meetings sometimes, so maybe I can also go along and meet them once. But she is strictly against this and this is blocking incident recently is seriously bothering me. My GF says my ex-boyfriends had bothered my friends earlier as well well and I don't want these things to happen again. But this probably would have made sense to till maybe like a year back, but now we are going to get married in six months. Even now she's

hesitant and says she will introduce me to them only after marriage. And also when she gets married these friends will probably have to help her make her side of the arrangement slash duties as she has no one else. So I needed to talk to them as well for our upcoming wedding preparations. I haven't spoken to my GF since last two days because of this and she also has also. is saying she is unsure of the marriage now after I expressed this desire to meet her friends and she says that I will be controlling in nature and the future. I feel she will text me or call me back soon. Am I asking for the right thing by asking her to introduce me to her friends what should I do? So few days back I 28M posted about how my girlfriend 32F asked one of her best friends to block me on

Instagram. It's not been long since the blocking incident, but today I just got surprised to learn that my GF's mother, who she should She always has been referring as dead, is not really dead. So few weeks back the girl, her best friend, who is already married with one kid just texted me to know the whereabouts of my GF as she was not able to reach her. My GF on knowing that instantly asked me to block her and I refused but she then made that best friend block me and the rest of the story is already there in the previous post. Since then I was not able to trust her. My GF has always been telling me that there is no one in her family.

She said she was a single child and both her parents have passed away. She used to go to her countryside home every three to four months to visit her aunt who she said was the only person living there but it always seemed a little off. And every time she used to go there she used to stay for at least two to three days. There were other things which seemed off too like whenever she used to get a phone call, her contact name used to show as dad home and a lady used to speak from the other end who she always used to refer as her aunt. My GF has already met my parents and we were supposed to get married in the coming February.

My parents were hesitant about our marriage because they also didn't like this secrecy and the fact that my GF asked her best friend to block me. I just thought it to be generational differences and was trying to make my parents understand that maybe it's not that big a thing. But still my parents didn't like this relationship and one day last week, they just went near and asked a colleague of hers if she knew about her parents. but that colleague didn't know a lot about her family. I know this was not a right thing to do by my parents, but probably they could look at the suspicious things from an outsider's perspective and they just wanted to keep me safe. I tried to make them understand later that it's wrong to take these things in the professional space.

They agreed not to ask there again, but also urged me to do proper research before taking a step towards marriage. So, I also tried to ponder upon my parents' POV and the whole situation from an outsider's perspective and it was all making me grow impatient. My GF just wouldn't let me talk to any of her friends or relatives or follow them on social media. And the reason she used to give for not introducing to her family was that her family would never approve of her marriage as intercast slash intercommunity marriages are still not quite accepted in some parts of India. But she always used to say how open-minded her parents were and that her whole

upbringing was very modern, etc., and used to cuss my family for being suspicious and backward, etc., and she also used to say if her parents were alive today, they would have definitely come for the marriage. My parents liked my GF initially when they met her first time and were very happy about the marriage. My father even offered to sponsor the marriage expenses for her side as she wasn't doing great financially. But they got suspicious when she even made her best friend block me. So all these combined, made me very suspicious and I decided to visit her countryside village

house today just to check. I went there acting I was looking for someone else and when I knocked the door, her mother came out. I know it was her mother because my GF showed photos of her mother to me earlier. It was truly like encountering a ghost. She looked like a fit and fine woman with a smile on her face and just looking like my GF. My GF and I are not talking properly since the day my parents went to her office. She called my parents crazy and what not for doing such a thing and was angry and said people of my community are clever slash cunning and crazy and do suspicious spying on people but never accepted that

she said such a big lie to our family. And while I admitted to her that it was wrong to ask at her office. But it's not right for her as well to talk like that about my family when she was acting all suspicious asking friends and family to block me and faking her mother's death. I haven't spoken to my GF about this and I'd quote should I make out of this really? This was a very huge lie and I don't see a valid reason for this either. Her father, as I confirmed from locals nearby, had actually passed away and her mother was living there with her aunt who was living in a different house just on the adjacent block. I just want to know if there could be any valid reason or judgment that can be applied to this scenario because I can't think of any. Her mother looked fit and

fine to me, probably around 50 to 60 years of age. Update 2. So it's been a month roughly I posted my question about the weird behavior of my fiancé and her lying about her mother being dead. Today I thought of posting a small update regarding the entire situation because a lot of you have been asking me for this. After discovering that her mother was still alive, I was shocked for a few days. But gradually, I started to feel better, although I was still eager to understand if I had done anything wrong, especially because I had seen both the good and bad sides of her. Now that some time has passed and I can think more clearly, though I do miss her at times, I reflect on what I know about her.

She is someone who is naturally very compassionate and has shown great kindness towards animals, adopting or helping several street animals during the three years we were together. I've seen her experience happiness, sadness, and vulnerability. I've seen her good sides, but she has also been very harsh in her feelings towards my community, language, my parents, and even me. She clearly did things that were wrong, like discouraging interaction with her friends and lying about her mother being dead, among other things. Also she lied to me another time in the past, which I consider the second biggest lie after the story about her mother's death. This happened one night when she arrived in my city a day earlier than planned from her village home.

I found out because I had been calling her repeatedly. She said she wanted to surprise me, but we didn't end up meeting that day because she asked me not to come over, claiming she was tired and feeling unwell. Later that night, I called her multiple times, but she didn't pick up. The next morning, I went to her flat and discovered she wasn't there. A few hours later, she called me from a friend's phone and explained that she had gone to her friend's house because her friend's boyfriend had come to stay, and the watchman wouldn't allow another guy in the flat. So, they pretended to be family relatives to cover it up. I forgave her for lying that time and chose to trust her again.

In hindsight, it was another significant lie, the second biggest lie during our entire relationship, the fake mother's death still being the first. About seven or eight days ago, I noticed her repeatedly posting WhatsApp updates about how she was treated badly by me, how she was subjected to loneliness, and how I broke up with her.

During that time, I attended a party with some guys and girls, and I saw her posting stories that directly defamed me, even though we had already broken up and I had every right to socialize with whomever I wanted. That day, I messaged her after seeing her status updates, partly because I was angry about what she had posted and partly because I wanted to know the real reason behind her lie about her mother's death. She responded with a lengthy message, but to summarize, she listed the following reasons. 1. She said she lied about her mother being dead because her mother never got her due respect

in the past relationship. Her ex probably never let her stay at her mother's village house for more than two days. Two, her ex-BF was roaming around in the city with other girls and probably even cheated on her while her mother was in the hospital. Three, she thought her mother would get proper respect if she lied about her mother being dead like her expired father who was treated respectfully after his death according to her. None of the reasons she gave seemed serious enough for me to believe. I pointed out that about 90% of her reasons were related to her ex-boyfriend and asked her why she had to lie about her mother, especially since I had always been supportive regarding her family issues. I told her that her explanations didn't make any sense to me at all. She later told me I was wrong to say she has

narcissistic personality disorder. I told that to her once earlier because she never feels sorry and does gaslighting to errors, etc., and I read online that this could be symptoms of NPD and asked her to get expert help on this. She said she had consulted a psychologist who diagnosed her with C-P-T-S-D, which can cause narcissistic traits at times. Even so, I don't see how that justifies creating such a complex story about her mother to deceive both me and my parents, even going as far as to give a specific date for her mother's death anniversary. She was also upset with my parents because they found the whole situation suspicious and started asking questions. Although I feel bad and believe she may be dealing with some behavioral disorders, I also suspect there is a deeper,

more complex secret, whether it's hers or her families, that has led to all these stories. In my last conversation with her, I made it clear that, regardless of what she says, we are not in a position to restore the marriage. I don't want to hurt her by doubting her, nor do I want to hurt myself. Trust is something that cannot be rebuilt after everything that's happened, so I asked her to just tell me the truth. However, nothing substantial came from her that I could consider. Next story, spent everything I had on her engagement ring, but she said it was too small and not special enough.

Months later I found out she was having an affair with her co-worker. Before I, 28M, proposed I spent lots of time looking online and in stores for the nicest ring I could afford, and I ended up with a one-carat-osher solitaire. My girlfriend, 29F, doesn't like the ring and wants a different one. All of the ones she has shown me are bigger and more expensive than I can afford. She said she'll accept my proposal if I give her a different ring and it can be a do-over

because she said she was also a little disappointed I proposed at home and didn't do anything special. Truthfully, I'm kind of hurt she cares so much about having a bigger and expensive ring. I want her to be happy and have a ring she likes, but she is so fixated on how small my original one was and I really don't feel great about it. Honestly, my heart broke when she said no. Edit, as I said in my poster complaint about the ring is that the diamond is too small. For the proposal I recreated the exact meal she cooked for me on our second date and proposed on our balcony with candles around us and her favorite scent.

I hope this answers the questions. Update 1. I told my girlfriend if she prefers a different style of ring than the one I got her, I could get her a different ring because I obviously want her to love a ring she would wear every day. I would either keep the original ring as my engagement ring because she made it clear she isn't getting me one herself, or I could return it and put the money towards her new ring. The ring I had bought, a one-carat usher solitaire, was the biggest one I could afford. Her complaint was that it was so small and the other ring she showed me as examples of what she wanted were more expensive than I can afford. I admit it led to a few arguments because everything was above the amount I told her I can afford. She suggested I get a temporary side job to save more money.

I've said it would take me a couple of years to save for what she wants, but she says if I love her I'll find a way. I'm not opposed to another ring, but we are on opposite sides regarding the budget. The proposal, me recreating the meal she cooked for me not long after we started dating and having candles she likes on the balcony, was also not what she wanted. She wants a public proposal and I misunderstood when she said she wanted something special. She didn't say public and I didn't infer it. Now we are both aware of what she wants at least. I just want to thank everybody for the support and nice thoughts.

I haven't decided if I'm going to keep the original ring and wear it as my engagement ring yet, or return it because it will barely make a dent in the amount my girlfriend wants for her ring. I don't even know how, or if, I'm going to save for another ring. Truthfully, this whole thing has put a damper on the idea of being engaged for the time being. Thanks again everyone. Update 2, August 21st, 2024. Backstory is that when I, 30F, decided to propose to my girlfriend I bought her the nicest ring I could afford. It was a one-carat usher cut solitaire.

When I proposed I recreated the meal we had on our second date, and proposed on our balcony with some candles around us. My girlfriend responded by saying she would only marry me if bought her a different ring. All the examples she showed me were much bigger and more expensive than I could afford. She had told me she'd accept my proposal if I give her a different ring and my proposal would be a do-over because she said she was also disappointed I proposed at home. She didn't like the proposal or the ring. The update is that I was trying to communicate with her and find a solution because of how much I love her. She was the one I wanted to spend my life with. We did have some arguments and she suggested a get-I second job to afford a best of.

better ring. She said I misunderstood when she said I wanted a special proposal because what I did wasn't special. I had decided to keep the ring to be my ring because I was unable to return it and would have lost money if I sold it. I was trying to find a solution and my girlfriend was making suggestions. I thought we would work it out but about six months after my last post my girlfriend left me for a colleague. She said the affair started after I proposed. Last I heard they were still together and either were traveling over in the United States. When my girlfriend left me, she took most of our things. I had to start my life over pretty much. It was difficult. My family stopped talking to me when I started dating women. They don't support same-sex

relationships. I did receive a lot of support in both of my posts, but there was lots of negativity as well. The majority of the messages I got were negative too. Many people miss that I am a woman even though I said it in my posts. I received many comments and messages about how men don't understand how important the ring and the proposal are to women. Even those who did not mistake me for a man said that my proposal was low effort

and the ring was terrible. My proposal was called out for being terrible and most of the messages I got mirrored the comments I got about putting in more effort or being a better partner. There were some insults too when a lot of them said they felt sorry for my girlfriend. I gave learn from this experience.

I'm not in a relationship now, but if I ever do find someone I'll make an effort to be a better partner. I did want to post one more update to thank the people who posted nice things, and to say I learned from this experience and have taken to heart all the comments and messages about being a better partner. I hope you enjoy this story. I informed my partner's former girlfriend that he retained her revealing images and revealed his actions, which has caused him to become enraged with me. Should I feel guilty for being bothered by this situation? My first relationship, it's one of them when you're basically together, but no labels,

we go to different Eunice so distance makes it hard, and other things too like him lying and being on dating apps when we said we were exclusive. Admittedly, I am an insecure person, I don't let it bother me on the daily, but when I see pictures of his ex I hate myself. This started when he kind of would bring her up a lot. I thought it was kind of weird, but they were together for three years. I found out her name through her. him talking about her, found her Instagram. She could be a victorious secret model, and I'm not exaggerating. She is very beautiful. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but I'm definitely nowhere near her. She's an easy 10-10thes. He said his friends would refer to him as the one with the fit bird.

Not a fan of that language, but they're right. I'm a six-tenths, seven on a good day. I'm not ugly, but I'm not beautiful. It upsets me a lot. It makes me feel very bad about myself. I've tried my hardest to get over it. He says he is done with her. But he still has all her pictures. They broke up well over a year ago, maybe two years ago.

He still has all the pictures, including her explicit pictures. I have now seen this woman's pictures and yeah, I definitely hate myself now. Why does he still have her pictures? Am I crazy for being upset over this? Am I letting my insecurities get to me? Is this normal? I get having a few pictures for memory's sake, but to keep lewd pictures of the woman you claim you feel nothing for?

I don't know. All I do know is I feel bad, things are great with us, he is so funny and caring. And I feel comfortable with him. I don't feel comfortable with many people. For example, instead of going home, he stayed with me, went to the shop and we cooked his home foods together to make sure I'd eat. And I know he really does care for me.

He comforts me while I cry about my past father. He listens to me when I need to rant. He always seems excited to see me. So I think that it's just in my head. But if he really did love slash like me, surely he wouldn't do all those things, and he wouldn't want to wait till December, this has been going on since February, to put labels on it. But it's so hard to try and ignore his lying over the dating apps, how quickly he got with someone else when we we split. He wasted no time, not even a week later he was just with someone else, but fair enough

because we weren't together, but it still hurts. It stings because he expressed how he loved me and he wouldn't. It made me doubt the genuineness of words going forth. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal if he didn't say such things. Like, yeah, it would sting, but I would get on with it. Because I do have feelings for him, and I'm a bit naive when it comes to relationships. And this thing with his gorgeous ex. I don't fear them getting back into together,

I think he is so, so beautiful, but she is way out of his league. I'll be so real, can't even call her a ten-tenths she's scale-breaking. She had always been pretty, but she had that breakup glow up. Think of Eastern European models, she could easily be one if she isn't already on her way. They're never getting back together, plus he tells me it was a toxic relationship and neither of them would ever want to get back together. And, I stalked, she has a boyfriend.

But I feel not enough, if I was enough he wouldn't keep those type of pictures of her. Or make a big deal about deleting them like saying he can't be bothered. Here are some other red flag in retrospect. He tried to give me his ex's shirt to wear. He told me he loved me before we met in person, when we first met, and at random points throughout our time together. I feel as though he told me that specifically when things were ending between us and I would stay BC the idea of someone loving me as foreign and I didn't think it would happen to me. I met him in Hinge Lowell. I caught him twice on dating apps, he said he wouldn't do it again the first time and he was only

doing it for a confidence boost. But he promised he would. would delete them. And then a week or so later I found him still active on the apps. He would consistently mention other girls to make me jealous. He would waste my time, telling me to stay up so we could call, and then never calling me or making me stay up really late when I told him I'd be very busy the next day. I asked him if he could at least text me if he isn't able to call so I can do other things or go to bed instead of staying up like an excited kid on Christmas Eve. low-key fetishized my race and sexuality. I thought it was a joke, but he referenced both things a lot.

To the point it made me uncomfortable. I mentioned this to him, that I thought it was weird and I'm more than just bisexual and mixed black and white. Update 1. He claims he just hasn't gotten around to deleting them, but told me he deleted all picks of her on Snapchat. And he has loads of photos in his camera roll so he doesn't see them. But emo, he should have deleted them, not even for my sake but hers. Especially if he has already taken the time to delete them on snap. I think it's weird to keep them kind of pictures of someone you're no longer with and haven't spoken to in nearly two years.

I don't think her or her boyfriend would appreciate him having them pictures. I know I certainly don't. I'm kicking him out and ending it this morning. He made me feel bad by saying I'm all he has. But I'm trying to respect myself. and stick with it. I have a bad habit of taking him back when he upsets me, because I tell myself I'm being dramatic. But I don't feel respected and with everyone reinforcing what I've been thinking. I do think it's time to get rid of him. I think he it is just hard because he has a lot of my firsts.

Lastly, I do agree I need to work on my self-esteem. And I have, I've made tremendous growth compared to where I was. I can leave the house, I can entertain the idea of day. I don't fixate on stupid superficial things. I am a pock that grew up in very white areas in the 2010s. Unfortunately a lot of what I don't like about myself was instilled because I was different. I never saw a representation of people who looked like me. Like having very coily hair.

I had this disgusting notion built into my head that because I'm mixed I should at least have loose soft curls and a lighter complexion and green slash blue eyes. I hate that I ever thought that, so stupid. But now I wear my natural coily hair out. I don't have to try and cover up my face to try and hide it and the fact I can say I know I'm not ugly as substantial growth from my childhood to teen years. I'm actually extremely proud and thankful for my mixed heritage. Thank you all for your words. Update 2. I wanted him back. I have issues I know. He doesn't want me. That's it.

Comments where Op has replied. Putting, idiot, if he is on dating apps while in a committed relationship, then he's not committed. Many cheaters make their so feel special when they are around them. It's kind of manipulation. They also make their side pieces feel that way. As for the nudes, I think it's inappropriate for him to still have them after breaking up with her, much less while dating someone else.

I know I would be creeped out to know that any of my exes were ogling my nudes. pictures. Also, I don't really think he's as over her as he wants you to believe. If he was, he wouldn't have those pictures. Speaking of, have you ever asked him to get rid of them? If he refused, big red flag. My advice to you would be to end the relationship. He does not respect you and doesn't deserve you. Op, I asked him to delete them when I found out. He deleted some and said he would do the rest later because there was a lot. He also said he is waiting to get a new phone, like what year he is living in. In 2023 we have iCloud that transfers everything when you get a new phone, including the whole

camera roll. I ended it and blocked him on everything. After reflecting and not having him physically with me, I'm quite disgusted. Update 3. Ada for telling my ex's ex that even though they broke up two years ago, he still has all her explicit pictures, ranging from age 17 to 20, he is 22 now. So I realized I had attachment issues, LOL. I ended it, and then he was asking for us to not end. Until he also agreed we should not see each other anymore. But then, I didn't want to end it because I loved him, and also had low self-worth, thinking he would be the only person to love me. With retrospect, he didn't love me he'd just like talking and, not exclusively, but mostly he'd only really tell me he loved me when things were looking like they were going to end or if I said it first.

He is the type of person to tell you what you want to hear. Anyways, time passed. I do still care for him, way more than I should, but my feelings for him have dwindled. I still miss him, but I don't love him. And I realized how fucked up it truly is to have pictures of your ex, 17 to 20 years old. He is now 22, not saying he is a pedo, but legally speaking he did of child porn on his phone. I gave him many lectures on how bad it is that he still had them. He gave stupid excuses like I can't be bothered, or I'm going to sort it when I get a new phone,

as if I cloud doesn't exist. He is a liar, someone who tells you what you want to hear. He just agreed with me to shut me up. I had a feeling he probably still had them pictures even after he said he'd delete them. Surprise he did not. When we stopped seeing each other one time, I asked him to delete what he has of me. He said he would, I come to find out he did not.

Seems to be a thing he does. I messaged his ex and told her that he still has all them pictures. A part of me did feel bad, because again I still care for him, and I knew in doing this he'd never talk to me again, so that was kind of sad. But I thought if it was me in her position, would want someone to do the same for me. I also asked many females what I should do, they all said tell her obviously. So I did, she told me how she asked him to delete all her pictures when they broke up and he said he would. This sounded very familiar. She thanked me for telling her. She called him and asked for a screen

recording of him deleting everything or she's calling his mom and letting her know what her son is up to. He eventually did. The gross thing is, he has two younger sisters. He tells us he tells us that. He tells me how he is scared for how they will be treated by men when they grow up. He is scared they'll encounter men like himself emo. He was very angry with me. Told me I was doing this all out of spite. He tried to play victim, which I found very pathetic. Saying I didn't think this would blow up in my face again and thanks for kicking me down lower than I already felt as if he is the one who's been violated. Actions have consequences. I think he still thinks about her. I refer you to the fact that He still had her pictures.

He tried to give me her shirt to wear. He made her one of his playlist covers. When I told him that was weird, he changed it. I had to ask him to stop talking about her. They were together for three years, and she is very beautiful. But two years had passed with no contact, she had very much moved on. Why couldn't he? Anyways, I know what was the right thing to do.

I'm going through waves of. I'm glad I did it and I'm sad he is hurt. But he is not the victim. And this was a truly eye-opening experience to who he really is. A little bit of a purve, collecting girls' explicit pictures as if they're Pokemon cards. I need to have better standards for myself. So I'm going on a date in a couple days. I met this guy at Wireless in the summer.

Nothing happened. I've only met him once because he went to America for his placement year and I was in a stupid on again, off again prolonged shittian ship with the pictures of girls collecting guy. But he is back in the UK for Christmas. He is so wholesome and cute, funny. I'm punching far, but he approached me. Crazy. And he is so sweet.

He doesn't ask me for pictures, he doesn't want to have sex straight away, he'd rather build towards it which makes me happy because I want the same thing. We're going to see Christmas lights, match halates, food, and then I'm going to ask him if he wants to stay around mine so we can watch movies. He is very respectful, optimistic and caring. He has sunflower energy. Also he is good and doesn't drink smoke, etc. I'm sober now and being around someone who does that stuff is hard.

Sorry for this being too long. Now on to the next story. Story 2. I told my ex not to contact me again after we broke up, but my friends tried to get my ex and me back together. Me, 24M, and my ex, 26, were both from the same friend group and to keep it simple after a while we dated for some months. During the relationship she would always want to do some really dangerous stuff, hike, bang jump, car races, and honestly I am not the person for that and would have days absolutely terrified for her life,

so after one of her friends got a serious injury I put my foot down and told her I couldn't live like that anymore. We got heated and she told me I'm a boring sad person who will die alone, so I said I hope yours hobbies have the consequences I expect them to have and after that we both parted ways mad and never spoke again. We still are from the same friend group and we both, while not speaking specifics, just said we couldn't compromise on something and since then, as for the last four months I have not hanged with them much as they are more her friends than mine. Issue came as one of my friends from this group asked me if I wouldn't mind he giving her my new number, and she wanted to get closure and I accepted because I didn't care enough.

So, she did call and it started decently, just small talk, and she asked why I'm so reclusive now, nothing that mattered much, but soon enough, she started talking about her life. She spent a whole 25 minutes speaking about her new boyfriend, how she's able to do what she wants and how fun and amazing it is to have support on the thing she liked, how much she missed out when we were together and that maybe I should change my views a little and my life would improve like hers did. I told her okay and she replied confused. Quickly enough I said I couldn't care less for her new life and honestly to fuck off and never contact me again if she just wanted to brag. To be fair, she wasn't really condescending with her tone but hearing from your ex how their life is so much better

without you get into you. After that I blocked her and as quick as I blocked her all of my friends started texting me about how rude I was and that she was just making small talk and I shouldn't have been so angry that she's happy. So I, I didn't think I was being an asshole, but I guess they do. Ada for what I did. Edit, well the situation just got a little worse as all of these people I call friends are pressuring me into talking to her more, which I don't want to do so now they are pressuring me into going out tomorrow and I'm not stupid so I know it's going to end up with only the two of us speaking. I really didn't want to go but one of those guys is kind of that my boss girlfriend so I don't want to get on her bad side. I will up.

update soon enough. Edit 2. Okay, so I did as I said and hang out with them and holy shit I'm going to make an update tomorrow because it got even fucking worse. I would like to update today but I'm currently typing this while my phone is being bomb barbed. Sorry to make this a cliffhanger but I will take a break from all before updating. Update 1. Sorry for the long text, but a lot happened to quickly and as much as I tried to compress the text, there's too much stuff to say, sorry. Hello, friends, as I said before, I did went to hang out with them, more worried for my job than anything, and it went as I expected. I got there, oh wow, what a surprise everyone was late except my ex, never saw that coming, and by what was clearly a coincidence the host had to buy something,

leaving us both in the house, how unexpected right. Seriously, can't believe I actually got set up, I knew I would but the fact it really happened, insane. As for what was said, we sat down very Then she actually said she was sorry, surprisingly, she said she acknowledged how she sounded like a bitch, but that she was sad I cut her out before she could say anything, after that we started to have a conversation about our relationship and whatnot. But I shit you not, the second I asked, what about your boyfriend she got dead silent and looked lost for some seconds before saying some random info about him and randomly started telling me she actually missed me a lot and we complimented each other. Her current boyfriend is too much like her and she feels in danger sometimes for not having someone who tries to be careful. It went like that until she noticed I wasn't really caring much for what she said and typed to someone. Then out of literally nowhere all my friends ambushed me to tell me I should stop running, that if I continue to isolate myself and drive them away because I couldn't get over the breakup was wrong and they are worried for me.

I honestly got really overwhelmed with it and said I needed a break. Then they tried to stop me saying this was an intervention and I can't run from it. I started to feel really bad and I thought I might have a panic attack. They noticed I was having problems breathing and let me in a room away. Then they sent my ex to comfort me. And as much as I fucking hate to say it, it somehow worked. I hate that having her cuddle with me worked and I was able to go control myself again. After that I said I needed to go home and would speak with them later.

She literally asked, can we try to get back together? And all I did was say, give me time to think then I walked back home and my phone started receiving messages from everyone telling me I should give her a chance and that we clearly still had feelings. I honestly feel awful, I stated to actually doubt myself in it all, I'm still suffering with my anxiety almost making me explode, but I wanted to update before anything. I'm starting to think maybe I could give her another chance, but I quickly doubt that Edia, then I doubt the doubt, I feel like a mess and I honestly just want some help, maybe I could repost this in the relationship advice subreddit but Ike. Update 2. Well, been a while, I am alive at the very least so hello there. I literally just

got my phone back and saw all the notifications of the last posts. I might read and comment on some of the last update later. So, needless to say, I had a mental breakdown and a very bad one at that. I don't remember much of the last week and days. I just woke up in a hospital and later was sent a psychological evaluation before finally being able to leave, not alone though. From what I heard, my friends got worried that I wasn't answering any of them and sent my ex to check on me. She apparently found me on the floor with some meds on the ground and called an ambulance. I don't recall any of that, but there are the medical records so it seems to be real. After that, I was completely out, maybe comatose died. For about three days and when I woke up surprisingly enough she was sitting

in the couch on the side of my medical bed, she started crying and a polandumato. She started crying and for what she and they all did. It seems you guys were correct from what I read, it was all a grand plan to get us back together and make me less depressed. She explained how she felt like trash after we broke up and even stopped doing the dangerous stuff because she was feeling so down, and also that the supposed boyfriends obviously didn't exist and was a prop to try and make me jealous, after that didn't work out with the call she went for the full-blown plan of the ambush. They did expected me to get anxious but that I would later call her back and give my final decision. Well, I guess they didn't expected me to have a mental breakdown and try what I did

and their whole plan failed. By what I heard they actually thought they killed me indirectly and were all stressed and messed up for the three days I was gone, all of them getting medical leaves to spend time with my lifeless self. After I woke up, they all came to see me and apologized as well, saying they had the experience as I opening and would understand if I cut all contact with them all, after that I went to the psychological evaluation and was confirmed to be a threat to myself, pain in the ass, and was either going to have to go to a mental facility or have someone watch me 24-7. Because I have zero contact with my family my ex asked me if I wouldn't mind if she was the one to be that person. I of course protested in the start but later decided it was

best that than going to a mental facility again, I have been in these places often it's not fun at all. So that's how it is currently, we are living in her house. bigger than mine, she's been doing all of the work and chores while I do nothing and just keep my emotionless face. The girl who's dating my boss apparently is way more serious than I thought and they were engaged. So she made him give me my salary until I get better plusa up on it with the medical leave, something I do appreciate. I know I sound like a dumb prick to start living with her, but currently we have set boundaries. She haven't even touched my arms since after the hug when I woke up, she's kind of like a maid more than anything. We of course still speak and I can hear the guilt

in her voice. She definitely didn't expect it things to take this turn and is ready to accept it as it is. As she stated, if you never gets better I'm ready to take care of you. If you do get better and wants to leave, that's fine. If you are never able to love me back, that's okay. It's my fault this happened. It seemed legit. For now, it works. I don't know how I feel now as the meds have made me really numb, so I don't know if I care or not for her currently. Maybe will be the last update. I will be answering any questions now, though. I got time to spare for it now. I hope you enjoy this story. Deceitful former spouse shared images of his commitment celebration to provoke envy and me, but upon noticing an individual in the distant view, I inadvertently disrupted his

existence. Approximately a year ago, my ex-husband Sam, 32M, decided to leave me, 30F. for his younger coworker who he had been having an affair with for almost eight months. At the time, we had been together for four years and married for two. We were just a week away from celebrating our second marriage anniversary when he told me that he couldn't do this anymore and that he had been cheating on me coworker, for the past eight months. A few weeks before that, the two of them had confessed that they loved each other and wanted to spend their future with one another.

So he couldn't continue pretending to be happy with me and said that he was going to leave. I was completely blindsided by that because even though he had been acting a little strange in the months leading up to that, I just thought that he was stressed out because of work. Never in my life would I have imagined that he was cheating on me with a 23-year-old who had just started working with him. But after that, everything started making sense, why he had been acting a little off for the past few months and why he had been spending so much time at work. He had not actually been stressed from work, he had been stressed because of me and the efforts that it took to hide his affair from me. He had indeed been spending a lot of time at work too, but not because he was working over time but because of Nikki. After he told me the truth, I immediately asked him to get out of the house and he left, presumably because he had already had a discussion with Nikki since. After that,

he started living with her. The divorce was rough because I was really angry and I wanted to really mess him up. I don't think anyone can blame me for that because we had been together for four years at the time and he knew that I had been cheated on earlier as well, so I had a lot of trust issues, but he had broken down my walls and got me to trust him, only to break it once again. That had really shattered me and I had been going through a rough patch at the time. Now I'm doing better though, thankfully. The divorce came through a few months ago and I've been pretty happy about it because it was finalized on my terms. I got the house, got to keep the car and I also walked away with a substantial amount of settlement.

I wouldn't say that it helped in healing me or anything of the sort, but it brought me some peace, knowing that at least I got something out of the divorce. And the fact that he was very upset about giving up the house was also something that brought me great joy. Anyway, for the past couple of months, I have only been trying to move on since I don't have to see him anymore and neither do I have to interact with him.

I had blocked him everywhere after I found out about his affair and I also told my friends that I didn't want to hear about him. The only thing that I had known so far was that right after I had kicked him out, he had started living with Nikki and they had probably been living together ever since, but that did not matter to me anymore. This week, we would have celebrated our third marriage anniversary together if we had stayed together and I had been feeling quite low on the day of our anniversary. He decided to make it worse by reaching out to me through email and sending me a bunch of

photos of his engagement party since he and Nikki had apparently gotten engaged recently. There was also a message along with it. I'll just paste it here. He said, it's almost been a year since we broke up and initially, I was really sorry that I ended up cheating on you but now, I don't feel that way anymore. I think it was destiny that brought Nikki into my life and you were just a placeholder. I know you could not have ever been my soulmate, even if you tried, because you are vindictive, mean, and heartless. I know that you were the one who turned all our friends against me by telling them that it was gross that I was dating a 23-year-old, as if that's a league.

We are in love and I wish you could realize how wonderful of a feeling it is, and how age doesn't matter when you're in love. You're closer to my age and yet what Nikki and I share, you will never have that with anyone. Do you know why? It's because you're not worthy of it. You were the one who tried to make it look ugly when Nikki and I got together, and I will admit, it was wrong of me to cheat, but the nasty ways that you chose to retaliate just makes me grateful that I decided to go along with Nikki because she's the perfect woman and you'll never be her. I thank God every day that we got a divorce and I didn't have to end up with you. So you might have won the divorce and gotten away with your demands, but I want it life. I'm sharing a couple of photos from our engagement party. Hopefully,

you'll see this and realize what true love looks like and find it in yourself to be able to move on. Happy anniversary. This is what he sent to me along with the photos of the engagement party and it really boiled my blood when I read that message because he kept harping on about one thing, that I had turned our friends against him by making it seem gross that he was dating 23-year-old while being literally almost a decade older than her. Let me just make it clear, I was not the one who turned our friends against him. So Sam and I had known each other since we were in college and we did have a common circle, but I kind of drifted apart from most of my friends after college since I had to move out of state for work.

Six years ago, I finally came back and started working here and that's how I ended up reconnecting with my old friends. And that included Sam and we ended up spending more time together when I returned. He and I had a very tight-knit group of friends and they were all very supportive of our relationship. We were all very close until he cheated and I told our friends about it because obviously, why would I hide it? And I never said that it was gross of him to date Nikki when she was.

was so much younger than him, even though I do believe that it was gross. But I didn't have to say anything to our friends to make them cut him off. They made that choice for themselves. Yet he has always believed that I was the one who forced them to pick and I manipulated them into picking me, and he still holds a grudge against me for that. However, even more than that, he didn't like the fact that I got the divorce to be finalized on my terms. So all these reasons combined, I guess he just wanted to rub it in my face that he was getting engaged to the woman that he had cheated on me with just so that I would feel bad, and well, he had succeeded because I felt terrible. Especially because of what he had said, about how he had won at life and the fact that he even

wished me a happy anniversary, showing off that he remembered that it was our anniversary and he was doing this on purpose, that was simply diabolical. I was actually about to delete the email because it was so upsetting, but before I did that, something in the photos caught my eye. In the background of some of the photos, I could see a very familiar person, and when I zoomed in, I realized that it happened to be one of my very distant relatives. This person, let's call him Jonathan, isn't exactly related to me by blood, but there's still some relation there, so I could use that to my advantage. To be more precise, he is married to my mother's third cousin and we have occasionally seen and met each other at some family get-togethers, but since they're not very closely related, my mother isn't exactly friends with them and and neither are we. I've only seen him a couple of times, but I recognized him in the background

of those pictures and I instantly sent those pictures to my mother and asked her to confirm if it was actually him. I explained the entire situation to her and she decided to call her cousin and ask her what was going on. After the phone call, my mother and I were able to find out that Jonathan was attending that engagement party because he was about to invest in the business that Sam was starting. Sam had used his father's connections to get Jonathan on board, since apparently, my ex-father-in-law had been quite close to Jonathan's brother. Yeah, it's pretty complicated, but anyway, that's how they knew each other and they had been in the talks for a couple of months and Sam had invited Jonathan to the party so they could get to know

each other better before he invested in his business. I requested my mother to pass on her cousin's contact information to me because I had a lot to talk to her about. I had mentioned earlier as well, that my mother isn't a good. exactly close to these people, so they had no idea about my life and they definitely didn't know about my divorce from Sam and the other side of him. I hadn't actually been hoping to achieve anything, because I didn't think that Jonathan would give up on a business opportunity just because a distant relative had been cheated by the guy that he was about to invest in. So I hadn't actually been

hoping for anything when I reached out to my aunt and asked her to put me in touch with her husband because I had to talk to him about Sam. However, when I spoke to them, I realized that they were really warm and quite willing to hear me out. So I explained everything about my divorce to them and then, I even forwarded the email that Sam had sent to me, telling them that I felt like it was my duty to warn them about the kind of guy that they were dealing with because he was not a good person. And just as I had expected, both Jonathan and his wife were quite surprised because apparently, Sam had been very sweet to them the entire time that they had been talking about investing in his business, and he had been quite charming and kind. That was not surprising for me because Sam actually

was quite the charmer when he wanted to be, that's how he got me and he's very good at pretending, which is how he was able to hide his affair for so long. Anyway, after I told them the truth about him, they told me that they were really thankful that I had reached out to them and they were going to think about what they wanted to do after this. Even then, I hadn't actually been expecting anything to happen. I just thought that I had the satisfaction of knowing that at least I had done something real and not just sat back and let things happen. Surprisingly, though, today I received another email from my dear ex-husband, and the tone of this one was quite different from his last. Apparently, after speaking to me,

Jonathan had decided to rescind his offer of investing in the business since that one conversation with me had completely changed his opinion of Sam. Jonathan had started to ghost him personally and had his secretary informed Sam that he was no longer interested in the business anymore and wished him the best, but he couldn't go further on with him, owing to special circumstances after his talk with me. And his secretary made sure to mention me, so Sam would know exactly what's going on. Sam couldn't contact me in any other way,

so he had to send me an email again and tell me that he was quite desperate because he had already quit his job and had started recruiting people for his business. Without Jonathan's investment, he would have to shut down and go back to working and he just wasn't ready for that. He was practically begging me to make things right and even tried to bribe me by telling me that he was ready to make me a partner in his company, only if I got Jonathan to come back on board and he knew that I could do it. I was actually quite happy reading that email because it made me realize

that he had really screwed things up for himself by sending me that horrible message and trying to rub it in my face. His plan had totally backfired and now, he was the one who was in a terrible position and needed me to bail him out. I was feeling like I was on top of the world and was relishing the experience until, out of nowhere, I started feeling guilty about what was happening. I don't even know why but a couple of hours ago, I started feeling like I was a terrible person for doing this and that I'm no different from Sam if I'm actually relishing it. I've spoken to my parents about it, I've spoken to my friends as well, and all of them have told me that the only reason I'm feeling guilty is because I'm a decent human being but that doesn't mean that what I did was wrong. But that's not helped me because I know that they are on my side and they are going to be biased because they love me. I guess what I'm saying is that I need some unbiased people to validate my decision because I've just realized that I am literally ruining somebody's career right now and I've been enjoying it so far, but that realization has made it a little less fun.

It's complicated but I really need somebody to put things into perspective for me right now and I need it to be completely free of any bias. So I'd have for getting an investor to back out of my cheating ex-husband's business and ruining his career? Edit, I guess there has been some confusion about my statement regarding how it was gross for my ex-husband to be dating a 23-year-old. Yes, it's legal and I am aware of that, but that doesn't make it all fine all of a sudden. Just to put things into perspective, she has just graduated two years ago and has very little real-world experience and when she started working with him, it was only her second job. Meanwhile, Sam has been working for the past 10 years, and even at this job, he was supposed to be her senior so it's quite obvious that he has had a lot more experience than her and the power dynamics between the two of them are obviously not going to be the same had it been a woman of his own age. And I'm sure that a lot of other people agree with what I'm saying because if everyone had thought that it was completely fine for them to be dating, they wouldn't have had to quit their jobs and start working elsewhere after the news of my divorce and their affair started spreading. So I know for a fact that Nikki is an adult and can make her own decisions and I'm not judging her,

not for that at least, but I think I'm allowed to judge my ex-husband, who cheated on me with somebody so much younger than him. Anyway, it's my personal opinion that it was gross of him, and I'm going to stand by that. I think that he was taking advantage of her immaturity and I think it's weird and unethical, but that's just me. People don't have to agree with me or anything, I'm fine with it. But there's no reason to be so hate. to me just because I called it a gross relationship. The man cheated on me, I think I've earned

the right to criticize him. As for saying it to my friends, I had already mentioned in my original post that I did not say it to them. They were the ones who had been saying it and I just agreed but didn't harp on about it. Neither did I tell my friends to cut them out of their lives because of this. That was their own choice as well. What I'm trying to say is that I have tried my best to deal with all of this as maturely as I possibly can because I don't want to indulge in any sort of drama, I just wanted to get out of that marriage as quickly as possible and get the divorce finalized. So I would really appreciate it if people did not hate on me in the comments because it's really not necessary and I don't think it's fair either.

Thank you to the ones who were kind enough to me and everyone else who was polite and civil. The rest of you guys, I don't know what's wrong with you people, but it's not okay to hate on other people like this. Update 1, I finally responded to the email that Sam had sent me and I told him that I really appreciated his offer of wanting to make me a partner in this company, but I was just not interested. After all, he had cheated on me once, I didn't want to be cheated on once again. And I also told him that I had spoken to Jonathan, but I hadn't told him that he had to

opt out of investing in the business. That had been completely Jonathan's personal choice, I had only warned him about Sam, and well, it's not like he can blame me for that because he was the one who sent me those photos and that's how I found out about the connection. Anyway, I made it very clear to him that I hadn't told Jonathan not to invest in his business. And since I couldn't have influenced that decision, I don't think I can go up to him and tell him to invest in Sam since that's not my place either. Plus, even if I could, I'm not sure I would want to do that to anyone because I know him as a

person and I know how petty and vindictive he is, so I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to be investing in his business right now. Had he been a changed person and not sent me that email at all, maybe none of this would have happened, but he is still a horrible human being, so he totally deserves this. I also told him that he needs to move on, not me because I'm not the one still whining about the fact that our friends are not speaking to me anymore. That was also his own fault. He cheated on me and that ruined his friendship with a lot of people because it was a horrible thing to do. But now, what's done is done. He could have just chosen to move on, but for some reason, he just keeps trying to find ways to blame me for all of this.

In the email that I wrote back to him, I told him that the real villain in his life is him and not me. He is the one who keeps screwing up everything for himself, and then when he has nobody else to blame, he turns to me. I entered the email by telling him that he has a very sad existence and that I really hope things get better for him because right now, I don't think he's winning at life at all. People who win at life don't feel the need to announce it to the people they don't like anymore. And then I blocked that email address so that he wouldn't be able to contact me again because that's the last thing that I need. Of course, he can always just make a new one and try to reach out to me

but will cross that bridge when we get to it. But for now, I'm just grateful that my family, no matter how distant they are from me, decided to take my side. So yesterday, I called Jonathan up, and I thanked him for not investing in Sam. And he went on to me and told me that I was the one who had saved him from investing in somebody who was obviously not reliable or trustworthy. If he could cheat on me and then treat me like crap, then he's obviously not a good person

and he wouldn't want to invest in somebody like that. He also told me that at the end of the day, we are family, even though we haven't interacted much and blood is always thicker than water. So I was very grateful for that and I even invited them over for dinner this weekend, because this is a pretty big deal for me. I've also invited my parents so we can all bond and I think an experience like this is going to bring us together, even though we haven't been close before. And regarding everything that has happened with Sam, I've spoken to my friends about it, and they have told me that I really don't need to feel guilty about ruining his career.

I had mentioned this in my original post as well, towards the end, but I want to bring it up again because apparently there were certain things that I didn't know since my friends had wanted to protect my feelings and so they hadn't spoken to me about it earlier. But apparently, while we were getting divorced, he had tried to do everything in his power to turn them against me and make me look like the villain so they would testify against me that would sway the divorce terms. He was pretty desperate, so he had tried to make it seem like I had been the one who had driven him to cheat because I used to act like a psycho and apparently I was very insecure and petty. He had even tried to tell our friends that apparently I had severe anger issues and I would go out of

my way to make life difficult for him. But nobody had bought any of that and everyone has stayed by my side, which is probably why he is so upset. They hadn't told me about any of this in the past because they wanted to spare my feelings since I had been finding it very difficult to move on and to be fair, even though I had told them that I didn't want to hear anything about him. However, after they told me about it, I started feeling a lot less guilty about screwing things up for him because I think he deserves it. Actually, let me just say it, I know he deserves it. I know he it and I refuse to feel sorry for him anymore. Update 2, hi, so it's been two weeks since I blocked Sam and since then, I haven't had any

contact with him. The dinner with Jonathan and my aunt was a success and since my parents had come over for dinner as well, even my mother got to bond with her cousin. So it was pretty fun and Jonathan told me that after finding out what had happened, even his brother had cut ties with my ex-father-in-law because I remember my in-laws had supported their son, which was obvious, but it was a good thing to do. I have been feeling quite content with my decision and after what happened this evening, I am pretty sure that I did the right thing. Because Nikki showed up at my house, I don't know how she found me, but anyway, that doesn't matter anymore.

She showed up pretty late, just as I was about to heat up my dinner, and when I saw that it was her outside, I told her to go away because I didn't want anything to do with her. I think anyone in my place would have reacted the same way, but she didn't leave. Instead, she started throwing a tantrum on my doorstep and accused me of being a jealous loser. She told me that I just couldn't stand the fact that my ex-husband was happier with her instead of me and that's why I had taken it upon myself to try and ruin their lives. She called me crazy and told me that there was no reason for me to keep tabs on his life just to try and ruin him and realize that she probably had no idea I had even found out about Jonathan. Because if she had known about it, she would have known that I found out about Jonathan just because

of what Sam had sent to me. So I told her about the email and I told her exactly what he had said to me. But she refused to believe me so I told her that I would gladly send her the email if she wanted me to and that's what she made me do. She stood outside the door and made me forward the email to her and only then did she realize what was going on. After she got that, I'm pretty sure she started feeling like a fool and just walked away without saying anything else. Then, I went back to my dinner and a few minutes ago, right before I started typing out this update, she sent me an email saying that I was still a horrible human being for going out of my way to ruin my ex-husband's life and career. She called me miserable and petty and just reinforced my belief that I had

done the right thing by exposing Sam. Anyway, I told her that she and her husband needed to leave me alone and stop acting like they were obsessed with me because right now, I was just one more incident away from posting all of this on social media, and then, everyone would know what kind of people they were. So that was that and I'm finally going to start with my dinner now and I really just hope that they have learned the lesson and they're going to leave me alone now. Update 3. Hey, everyone. I have some pretty fantastic news to share with you guys. So it has been almost a month since my last update and three days ago. I heard from a couple of my friends that Sam and Nikki had posted that they were breaking up their engagement and going their

ways due to irreconcilable differences. I don't know why they use such corporate language just to announce their breakup, because it's not like they were getting divorced. But anyway, they also mentioned that they would continue to remain cordial and hope that people would give them privacy they needed at this time. I don't know why they were talking about privacy at all because from what I've heard, Sam himself has been bad-mouthing Nikki to all his friends and has been talking crap about her relentlessly. My friend and I managed to read between the lines from all the gossip that we have heard about it and we think that she decided to leave him a couple of weeks ago, probably after I told her about the email and stuff and she decided that she couldn't be

with somebody who was still reaching out to his ex on purpose. Even if it was just to make me feel bad. I guess it was also bad that he had lied to her and didn't mention the email to her while talking about why the deal with Jonathan had fallen through. Sam's ego couldn't handle this, so he started bad-mouthing Nikki and told a bunch of his friends that she was only with him for the money and the stability because ever since he had moved in with her, he had been covering all their expenses, and she barely had to spend a dollar on anything. It was gross how he had switched up his attitude toward Nikki so quickly, just because she was

not willing to put up with him and his lies anymore. Anyway, I think it's fantastic news because right now, neither does he have a job and his fiancé also left him so he's pretty much at rock bottom. I don't feel bad for him at all because he deserves all of this. he brought it all onto himself. I'm doing a lot better and I don't even care about him or what he's going through anymore. My work is great. I have my friends and family by my side and that's pretty much all I need. So far, I had even been holding back on getting a cat because he's allergic, but I think it's about time that I got a cat as well.

But even right now, I feel pretty fulfilled. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse disregarded my limitations during pregnancy and compelled me to engage in activities with him. This led to a hospitalization, and now I am covertly strategizing to separate from him. Greetings, all. My significant other and I have been married for four years and together for six, and this is the very first huge argument we've ever had. I, F-24, am currently 33 weeks pregnant with his M-31 baby. When I was 20 weeks pregnant my doctor diagnosed me with placenta previa, which if you don't know is basically when the placenta.

for my baby is covering the opening in my cervix. They told me it would likely move as my baby grew, but it never did. So I am scheduled for a C-section in just three weeks. At 20 weeks I was put on very light restrictions, but at 30 I got put on heavier restrictions. Like no running, no lifting, or climbing, no standing for longer than three hours at a time,

and most importantly no sex and no vaginal exams. Because my doctor told me that we want absolutely nothing nothing to potentially make me bleed which could lead to preterm birth. So I have been doing this all for three weeks, but it has been driving my husband fucking insane. Every single day he bothers me for sex. Every single day. Every single day I tell him I can't and remind him of the restrictions. I don't even want to have sex anyway.

My tummy is so big and I am always exhausted. He doesn't really like those answers. Finally, he came to me and started going on about how doctors sometimes dramatized things for the sake of their careers and more money. He said they push for C-sections. I was like, okay whatever, but I know that I have this condition. Obviously I am going to follow the rules. He didn't take the answer and we ended up having sex. For a few hours after I was having really heavy bleeding and I got so scared.

I was crying in the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do. I ended up calling my doctor and she told me to come in right away. The whole car ride there I was just sobbing, imagining that in an hour I would be having a C-section for an only 33-week-old baby. We quickly figured out that I am not in preterm labor, I was just bleeding and as long as it stops it will be okay. It did and I am fine. But while I was there my doctor asked my husband to leave and started asking me questions.

She asked me if I did anything I wasn't supposed to do. She was like this isn't accusatory, it's okay, it's just better to know if it was caused by something or random. I told her that I had sex. She just went over all the things again and then gave me a bunch of information on domestic violence. She put them in my purse for me, literally. I was so embarrassed. When we got into the car I broke down and yelled at my husband, telling him to never do that to me again and telling him that my doctor knows more than him and knows what is best for me and the base. He apologized and I could tell he really met it.

I have still been holding a grudge for days and he's been groveling for days. He asked me how long I was going to make him apologize. I told him at least until the baby is born. Ada for that? Comments OOP clarifies the age gap slash when they met. I was well out of high school when we met and dated. I graduated at 17, I was in college by the time we met.

time we met. My family lives a few states away, but we see them pretty often. Look at those pamphlets. I skimmed them when she gave them to me, but they have since been thrown out. Come enter. Things don't get thrown out by magic fairies. Someone throws them out. Who threw them out? You, or your abuser who does not want you to read the important material in the pamphlets? Goop. Well, I put them with a bunch of other papers that we have laying around. I am sure he just went through them and threw out the unimportant ones. I don't think he did it on purpose or anything. OOP responds to people leaving resource links.

Yes, I see them all in the comments and I am looking at them. I searched our recycling bin for the ones from my doctor but they're gone. Commenter NTA is this guy who lacks critical thinking skills able to hold down a job? OOP, he usually doesn't lack critical thinking skills. He's a police detective actually. Update 1, I wasn't originally going to make an update just because like I was getting into specific detail about my life and I didn't want anyone I know in real life to find it. But I will because.

I don't know why actually. I guess I just got some really good comments. I posted this about seven hours ago and I cannot believe how many people have responded. I don't know if I could ever say thank you enough to such thoughtful strangers on the internet. So originally my plan was to tell my doctor and my CIL, maybe my brother, but I wasn't looking forward to discussing those details with him. I rescheduled my weekly appointment with my doctor for TMR. I know some people said I would be able to just walk in, but I didn't want to do it and then

have made some excuse to my husband. The comments made me realize the severity of the situation and honestly I am terrified. So I called my CIL when she got off work and we had a really long conversation. I mentioned in the comments but my CIL and brother have never really liked my husband, especially my CIL. She was very supportive and kind and we talked for a long time. I guess I can admit now that it wasn't just sex, it was rape. We talked about that more than anything else. And she cleared the whole confusion thing up very quickly. I told her a lot of the things my mom excused because she likes my husband, and my CIL was livid. I guess I kind of knew she

always would be, which is why I never told her. She ended up telling me to talk to my doctor and she will talk to my brother and we will see what's going on. She said she will come down on the soonest flight, but my brother cannot come yet because they do have children of their own. I was content with that, though, and my appointment with my doctor is tomorrow. So my husband got home kind of early and saw how I was upset. I really was planning on getting myself together before he came home, but I did not have time. Still, I was not going to tell him anything, but he was being so kind, which he really usually is. I know that's hard to believe, but it's true, but today especially he was so kind and so worried about me. I know it was stupid to explain the situation, but I did.

I don't know why. I'm just used to telling him my problems, I guess. It was a mistake and I know that. I am really trying not to be so stupid anymore, but it's hard to switch from thinking about him as my loving and caring husband to my husband who is hurting me. So I told him that, and how he hurt me and honestly I'm scared now. He was like what, how? I said by forcing me to have sex, by literally forcing my legs apart and telling me to calm down. He was like, oh my fucking God, don't fucking say that. That's a crime, do you understand that? Do you understand you just accused me of martial rape?

And pushed me away from him. I started to apologize, and he started to say it was okay and do that thing where he acts like I'm dumb again. So I finally like, yeah, actually, I really do understand that now. It isn't right and it is martial rape. It resulted in a huge argument, once again. He called me an idiot for even daring to say those words. I called him an abuser and he literally laughed. He was like, Who Are You Talking to, You Don't Know What You're Talking About, and started to go on and on about things I don't know about.

He said sex with his wife isn't rape, no matter how you split it. I ended up trying to just walk away, but he grabbed me by my wrist. I snatched my hand away and he held up his hands was like, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that might be considered battery of a pregnant woman, if we're going by your definitions. The condescending tone is what really drove me to the edge and I told him I don't want to be a him. He was like, fine, I'll go. I said no, I want to go. I want to be away from you. He threw the credit card at me and told me to go get a hotel then. So I did. And here I am, typing this now. And my sill is on her way right now, but I am so far from okay. He's called me several times, but I won't answer. I've never seen him that angry before. I am slightly concerned

what he will do if I genuinely tell him I want to leave and take the baby. He is the one who wanted to have a child, and I was convinced. It won't let me take her easily and that terrifies me. Every time my daughter kicks I just want to sob. I never thought that my own baby would make me cry like this. But I am just so scared. Comments Commenter, if it's his credit card he can track your hotel and even ask information on behalf

the credit card. Please be aware and be safe. Edit, seems like Op's husband is a cop. Oop, it is his card but I told the hotel what was going on and they seemed to understand. My sill will be here soon so it's just tonight I'll be alone. Commenter, the hotel clerk cannot legally tell him what room she is staying in. I've been through this. Oop, yes, this is what they told me.

I talked to the manager and he told me don't worry. He cannot legally tell anyone where I am staying, or what room. Even if my husband did try to use his shield, still not legal unless they have the proper documentation which obviously he would not. Commenter, can you leave and move in with your brother and sill? Have the baby at a hospital near them? Once you have the baby and can guarantee he'll make your life tricky and won't let you leave the state. You need to get to somewhere you have a support network and safety before you have the baby. Oop, that is my plan.

All night I've been having bleeding in Braxton Hicks, for the first time ever. I am literally terrified to be here alone or to go into preterm labor alone. I am trying to hard to not engage with my husband, but I'm so fucking scared, LOL. The post going viral and being at the top and husband finding it. Thank you very much for pointing this out I was not aware. I don't think either of them are at a risk to find it, but even if they did I don't think I've said anything too specific? Commenter, it must be a terrifying thought that someone who you loved, and thought loved you back, let his mask slip and shows you what kind of person he really is

when you try to stand up for yourself. Oop, it is terrifying. It's so strange that the moment I said a word he didn't like, he was meaner and worse than I've ever seen him. Commenter, she should go to a lawyer. A lawyer will have a much better idea of how to report it in such a way that it can't be rug-swept. Oop, I am already doing this. I want to have my daughter in my home state, but I am not sure how that works, and I am scared to do something wrong and give my husband leverage to take her. I am really trying my best. I only have less than three weeks to get somewhere and I'm just stressed and scared.

I also know he never allow me to have the baby or C-section on my own. He will be there, and I just don't know how to deal with that. Update 2, this one is quick and for the people who want to wanted me to verify that I am okay less than three I genuinely don't know what to say about the amount of support I got. Thank you so, so, so very much. August 7th I posted my update, and I mentioned having Braxton Hicks for the first time. I was urged to go to the hospital. I originally wasn't going to, but, thank goodness that I did because by the time I walked in the door,

I was bleeding so heavily it was down my legs. Turns out I had a placental abruption. August 7th at 1037 p.m. My daughter was born via emergency C-section. She is now only less than old as I post this, but I am being forced to deal with an attorney and all of this already. She was only 33 weeks and five days when she was born. She is tiny, but still doing relatively well, so they tell me. She is in the NICU now and I am in the hospital still as well. I have received lots of care and while it is all scary and hard, seeing my daughter makes it better. I'm fine, I will be fine, and so will she. The nurses here are amazing and the doctor told me as long as everything goes well, I get to take my daughter home in just a few weeks less than three as for my situation. My sale came shortly after my daughter was born and she's been by my side all day and very supportive. The attorney advised us to allow my husband visitation with my daughter while she is still in the NICU, so I did. I do not have a concern of

him hurting our daughter while in the hospital or anything like that. I have received lots of supportive messages from his co-workers and his side of the family, so I am sure he is spinning the story that we are together and everything is fine. He is trying to act like that too. He's seen our daughter several times today and I think that he was in the hospital with me during the C-section, but I am honestly not sure. He came up to my room this morning while the nurses were helping me take that first walk after the C-section.

I was just emotional enough to let him in. I have to be honest and say it wasn't easy to try and hate him after all of this. I still let him comfort me and I still cried to him. But at the end when he said you wouldn't have had to do this alone if you weren't acting that way and grabbed my face to make me kiss him, it reminded me of why exactly I am doing this. So yeah, I am not so sure what I'm going to do. Originally I really wanted to have my daughter in my home state so that I could stay there with her and my sill and brother, but I highly doubt my husband will allow me to take her there.

My attorney says I have options, and the options are heavily in my favor, as I did what you all suggested and got the medical records of the rapes, including the one I posted about and two more I went to the hospital for over the years, as well as in writing my doctor saying that my placental abruption was likely caused by trauma and stress. For custody and stuff like that, but likely only here where we currently live. Honestly, that's okay. being able to briefly hold my baby and seeing her and loving her so much has replaced much else in my mind. I want to be safe, but I want her safe most of all. I won't do anything to put her in the situation I was in.

She is only 16 hours old and she is all I think about, and will ever think about for the rest of my life. I probably won't update again, as I am hoping they will let me spend more time with my daughter soon, but I just wanted to say that this whole post literally changed my life, and I cannot say, thank you enough. If anyone else finds themselves in this sort of situation, I want to say do not be scared to speak up. And if anyone has survived it, you're so brave. Thank you less than three comments. Commenter, op, ask your nurse for a social worker to help you out, especially with your baby being in the NICU. Tell the social worker all about this stuff, depending on which state you're and they can be a fantastic resource and can put you in contact with shelters that take in new moms,

not every DV shelter is a good place for a new baby, especially a NICU baby that was born during an abruption. Oop, I already have smile we have a whole plan already for when she gets out of the NICU. Also, I saw people really worried about me because of finances and stuff, but I'm going to be okay. I actually still do have a job, I was just on leave because of the baby, and a stable career and actually quite a bit of savings. I never let him take that from me or her. Commenter, do you know how long your sill will be staying with you?

Oop, we aren't really sure at the moment because she also has children back home, but she promised that either her or my brother will be with me for as long as I need them. She said they will take turns coming back and forth. They're literally my angels less than three commenter. Husband was in the surgical theater with her. husband was visiting within a day and walking her around the unit. She believes husband thinks they're still together because of messages from his friends and family, but says nothing to disabuse him of this.

He forced a kiss on her in her hospital room. No mention of being thrown out of the hospital for continuing the sexual assault that put her in it in the first place. She has made no indication of where she will go after leaving the hospital. Besides, I was going to go to, other state, but now I'm not sure. She doesn't have a concrete plan for getting out frown. Oop, the hospital called him before I could say don't, but it honestly wasn't the biggest concern for me at the moment because I literally had liters of blood at my feet.

Commenter, info, why did he touch your stomach? Did he purposely hurt your incision? Oop, when he realized it hurt, he snatched his hand back and was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I forgot I'm used to it because he would touch my tummy a lot when I was pregnant. It seemed genuine, but you know so did every other apology. I'm sure it was on purpose, it was the exact area I had previously had my hand to sit down. Commenter, remember that you're literally only in this position getting an emergency C-section and watching your child fight for survival and the NICU because he raped you despite knowing

there was a high change it would hurt you and your unborn child because him getting his dick wet is the only thing he cared about. He doesn't give a shit about you or your child. You are possessions to him for him to do with what he pleases. Do not let this man anywhere near you. Boop, I know. Every time I see her or think about her, that's what I think about. During the C-section they didn't let me see her, they just took her away so fast. In my head all I was thinking was she's dead or dying and it's his fault entirely. Trust me when I say I am not going back. Commenter, I am glad you are okay off and I guess more is seeping out. I was surprised now to see you mention the other rapes or other times.

It seemed like in your post this was a totally isolated incident. I am happy you are getting out. The mention of that just further affirms it. Oop, there were a lot of other times. Three, I went to the hospital four, including the one I posted about. I was just scared and confused and not well informed. Tell the lawyer about this post, I already did. She said all is good as long I don't say my name, his name, her name, baby's name, or firm,

or any advice that isn't accessible on the internet. One more thought from Oop, no, of course I understand. Trust me, I should have left when I was 19, the first time he hurt me. But I didn't. But I am now because it really is more than just me, it's her too. I hope you enjoy this story. Family members evicted me due to my expectancy. sibling and her partner, so I faced challenges for an extended period, only to be surprised when

they reappeared seeking assistance to aid my sister as a result of her situation. B.F. dumped her. Hey, guys. So to begin with, five years ago, when I was 18, my parents asked me to leave and kick me out of the house because, according to them, it was more important for my sister's boyfriend to move in with her. I, 23F, have an older sister, Chloe, who's four years older than me. When she was 22, Chloe got pregnant with her boyfriend and she had to move back in with us. Chloe had been working for a couple of months at the time, but she hadn't saved up enough money to afford to raise a baby and live on her own at the same time, so she came back home and three months into the pregnancy.

She got it into her head that it would be better for her boyfriend to move in with her as well. She felt like it was important for her to have the baby's father around for proper development. Don't even ask me about that. I wouldn't have had an issue with it, but she was living with us, so I felt like it was a bit of an unreasonable demand because our house wasn't really that massive, and I wasn't sure if it would be able to accommodate all of us. I had initially believed that my parents would decline and not let her have her boyfriend move in, but I had no idea that they were actually planning on agreeing with her and kicking me out instead. A couple of months after Chloe had moved in, my parents told me that they were planning on having her boyfriend move as well, so I would have to give up my room. I was shocked since I really hadn't seen it coming and I was stupid enough to ask them where exactly I was going to be staying in the house then. That's when my parents clarified that they wanted me to leave the house altogether.

Since now I was 18 and it was about time that I left the nest. I had decided to take a gap year, so I wasn't going to college, and that was out of the question. Apart from that, I could have moved in with my grandparents or my friends, but I just didn't understand why I had to move out of my house at all. It was my home as well, not just my sisters. And the fact that she was pregnant didn't mean that she could do whatever she wanted and my parents had to agree with it. I tried to fight with them, but my parents told me that I was an adult, I had to deal with life on my own and I had no right to feel entitled to live with them anymore. Especially when my sister was pregnant and she wanted her partner by her side. I tried to explain to them that she could share her room with her boyfriend, but they told me that it was not possible because she wanted her own space.

as she got bigger and her room was small enough as it was. Having her boyfriend move into that room would only make it more cramped, so she wanted him in a different room. I suggested that maybe he would live in the living room, but apparently her boyfriend had a back injury, so that was not feasible. I was desperate not to leave at the time, so I suggested that maybe I could live in the living room instead,

but they told me that they wanted me to leave because having somebody stay in the living room was kind of unseemly. They were just not ready to hear me out, and after a while, it became very obvious to me that they just wanted me to leave. I definitely blamed my parents for the way they were behaving with me, but I also thought that my sister was being unreasonable and entitled. Not only did she want her boyfriend to move in with us, but she also wanted a separate room for him,

and because of that, I would have to move out, even though I was not even ready for it. I felt terrible about it and I had a huge fight with my family the day that I was told to leave. I called them all selfish and said that I didn't. never wanted to see them again because they were all disgusting and horrible people and I was ashamed to even be related to them. Then, I packed whatever I owned, and called up a couple of friends so they could help me move out. Within the next three days, I had spoken to my grandparents. And my mom's parents were a bit skeptical about having me live with them, but I don't really

blame them since my grandpa had always been really sick and my grandma had enough on her plate trying to take care of him. So I decided to move in with my paternal grandparents, and when they heard exactly why I had to leave my parents' house, they were outraged. They really gave my parents a peace of their mind, and then, they stopped speaking to them altogether. I was very depressed, even though I had my grandparents and my friends by my side. I had always thought that I had a good relationship with my parents and even my sister, so I didn't understand why they were treating me like this. But it all became clear to me the day after I left, and my sister sent a letter to me through one of her friends.

I still have that letter with me because it was just so bizarre, but anyway, the letter said that the reason she had convinced our parents to kick me out of the house was because of her boyfriend, apparently. She said that he was a bit of a flirt, and they hadn't exactly been in a committed relationship with each other when she got pregnant. They only made things official after she realized that she was pregnant and she was afraid that he still wasn't very sure of the relationship. She said that she had to fight really hard to get him to agree to move in with her and commit to raising the baby with her and so. she did not want another woman in the house because that would put the entire situation at risk. I couldn't even imagine why Chloe was willing to have a baby with a man like this since she was obviously very insecure and didn't trust him. And the fact that she felt like she had to get me to leave the house just so that her boyfriend wouldn't be tempted to flirt or hook up with me,

was just crazy. I had half a mind to text her and tell her that she had no self-respect and it was pathetic that she was still trying to be with a man like this and even having his baby. But clearly, she was not thinking straight, so I decided to say nothing. Besides, being with a man like this was punishment enough for her, so I wanted nothing to do with her or my family anymore. She had no self-respect or dignity, and since my parents were so easily influenced by my sister, they clearly showed me where I stood with them. I decided that not speaking to them would be the best thing to do in this situation. And then, I started trying to move on with my life. I had never really been inclined towards academics in the first place, which is why I decided to take a

gap year and think about what I really wanted to do with my life. I did not want a typical nine to five job and I know it sounds kind of strange, but I always felt like that kind of lifestyle would be too restrictive for me. I am a self-taught musician, I can play both the guitar and drums and I've been playing since I was 12. So I'd say that I was pretty good and during the gap year, I kind of realized that this is what I wanted to do with my life. I wanted to be a magician, and I knew that there was not a lot of money in this career, but it would make me happy and that's all that I wanted. And I thought that maybe I would be able to make it big someday.

At the time, I didn't know that it would actually come true. Well, at least sort of. Initially, I was only playing small gigs, and money was tough. I was heavily reliant on my grandparents for money and it took me a really long time to be able to afford an apartment and even then, it was a really tiny one that I had to share with a roommate. After that, I started getting slightly more serious gigs until the beginning of this year. When I auditioned to work with a music producer and I won't be taking names, but I got the gig.

I'll be playing the guitar and a couple of songs for a film and I am getting compensated really handsomely for that. I've already received some money for that in advance and have managed to move into a better apartment and I'll be getting the rest after the entire job is done. After this, I think I'm going to be getting even more work with the resume that I have. The only people who knew about it were a couple of my friends and my grandparents and I don't know who spoke out of town, but somehow, my parents were able to find out about it. I haven't even posted any of this on social media yet because I don't want to talk about it too soon.

Nothing is really permanent in showbiz. Anyway, two days ago, my family was somehow able to find out where I lived, and they showed up at my door. Obviously, they needed my help since I'm doing better in life right now and both my parents have retired, so they need somebody to support my sister and her kid. I did not invite them in when they showed up, I was too surprised to do anything but just stare. Anyway, since I wasn't in a position to speak to them, they congratulated me and said that they were here to make things right with me.

Not because we were family but also because they needed my help since Chloe's boyfriend had walked out on her two years ago and as soon as they found out that I was working as a guitarist in a film soundtrack, they knew that they had to get in touch with me because it's such a huge deal. They also told me that Chloe was struggling to keep up with the business that she had started since her boyfriend had left and both my parents had retired last year, so now they needed me to step up and help my sister out. They told me that they were hoping that I would not turn them away, since it had been a long time since we had spoken, and in spite of everything that had happened, we were still family. So we needed to be there for each other, above all things.

I found that to be perfectly laughable because they had not been there for me at all, and in fact, they had taken every possible measure to make sure that they didn't have to be there for me. Even right now, they were only here because my sister's boyfriend had walked out on her and she did not have anyone to support her. Apparently, she was getting child support, but that was barely going to cut it in the future because it was a miserable amount. And my sister had been running a flower shop with her friend after her baby was born, but even that was not doing well right now.

So they had turned to me for help, but the situation was so ironic that I literally couldn't help but laugh in their faces. Especially because I remember the letter that my sister had sent to me the day after I left. She herself had known all along that she was not sure of the relationship that she had with her boyfriend.

And yet, she had chosen him over having a good relationship with me. And now look where that had landed her. So I went back into my house after telling me, them to wait outside, I got the letter that I had kept safely with me. And I returned it to the person who had written it and told her to read it out loud to our parents so they could know exactly why they had kicked me out all those years ago. Chloe went red in the face when she saw that writer and refused to read it out, so I took it back from her, and I read it out loud after I was done.

My parents looked shocked and embarrassed at the same time because they had realized that they had been manipulated and they were so weak-willed that they couldn't even tell right from wrong. Most of all, they seemed to be pissed at Chloe because it appeared that she had known all along that he was not the right guy and he had. She had decided to put her faith in him. In doing so, not only had she screwed herself out of a safe and secure future, but she had made things very difficult for our parents because now, they had no choice but to support her. None of them had any idea what to say after that letter had been read, so I just told them that whatever was happening with them right now, they totally deserved it. Especially Chloe, since she had known that the guy she had been with was not the right kind of person, and yet, she had chosen to sacrifice everything for him. So this was on her right now, and I felt no obligation to help her out. She started crying when I said that and told me that she had expected me to be a bit more compassionate since she was in love with him and that's why she had wanted to make things work with him.

She just did not want to take any risks, and she knew that having me around would be an issue because she did not want her to feel tempted by anyone else. She was ready to admit that she had not been thinking straight, but that was only because she was having a baby and she wanted to do everything in her power to make sure that her boyfriend stayed with her and did not abandon her and her kid. But to blame her for the situation that she was in right now was just insensitive of me and she said that she expected better. I didn't have anything to say about that, so I just slammed the door shut and I told them to leave after that. Since then, I have received a bunch of messages from her friends saying that I was very insensitive and that she was. hasn't stopped crying ever since I said that all of this was her own fault. So now, I have to ask, I had to tell my sister that it was her own fault that her boyfriend abandoned her and her kid?

Update 1, I've made up my mind that I'm not going to be apologizing for anything that I have said. The comments made me realize that even though I was trying to treat the situation as somewhat normal, what Chloe had done was beyond abnormal. It was bizarre and pathetic and honestly, she definitely did deserve it, so it's not like I had said anything wrong and if she thinks that getting her friends to text me and tell me that I am insensitive for saying what I said, and then maybe I'll apologize to her, she's wrong. She needs to realize that somebody had to put her in her place and that somebody had to be me since she still had the

audacity to show up at my place and ask for help after everything that happened to me because of her. Of course, I don't blame solely her, my parents were equally at fault. But the situation wouldn't have taken place at all if she had just had some common sense. I had to work. I had to work with her. I had to really hard to get to where I am today and I'm not going to give a single away to anyone who doesn't deserve it in my opinion. Even if her business is not doing well, at least she still has it. She can make the best of her situation. There's no need for her to act like she's a charity case. In my opinion, my parents and even my sister have always been the kind of people who think that they should always be doing well. As soon as they hit a tough spot, they start acting like

maniacs and it's like they are going to lose everything the next day. In my opinion, they have absolutely no fighting spirit and I'm glad that I'm not like them. I'm saying this because even when I was in middle school, I remember my dad had lost his job because the company that he was working and had some crisis that I don't remember. Anyway, everyone in my family completely lost their heads, and my dad ended up borrowing a bunch of money from our grandparents. My parents had their own savings, just to be clear. And even my mother had a job at the time. So it was not like there was any reason to panic, but yeah, I have no idea why they did that and the crazy thing is that they never even bothered to return the money that they had borrowed. I guess it didn't take it seriously

because it was just my grandparents that they were boring from. And it seems like they are doing the same thing again but this time, it's my sister's business that's suffering. But unlike my grandparents, I don't feel obliged to help her out. She can either deal with it on her own or she can ask somebody else for help because I'm genuinely not interested. Update 2. So last week, my family showed up at my door and then Chloe's friend started sending me a bunch of messages, saying that I had been insensitive, and they thought that I should apologize to her. I did not, obviously. After that, for the past couple of days, I had no contact with them. And I was pretty busy as well because I had work, I still had other gigs.

Last night, I came back home around 10 p.m. and I was really exhausted, but that's the exact moment when my parents decided to call me up. They had used a burner phone, I guess, I couldn't recognize the number. I thought it was a work phone call, so I picked it up and as soon as I did, my parents told me that they had thought about it and had decided to cut my sister out of their lives. I did not know what to say because it was really sudden, and I hadn't seen it coming. Besides, I had assumed that it was Chloe who needed my help, not my parents. So I did not understand what they stood to gain by cutting my sister out of their lives. Anyway, I told them that it was great news, but even then, I wanted nothing to do with them.

Because of the way that they had treated me in the past, it was not. something that I could forgive and forget so soon. I know that is not exactly so soon, but it did not matter. I just didn't want to speak to my parents. I was happy enough with my life having no contact with my family and I don't think that anyone in my place will ever be able to move on from what had happened. If I had had a bad relationship with them right from the beginning, and then they had kicked me out when I turned 18, I probably would have found it easier to accept. But all of it just came as such a huge shock to me that I couldn't deal with it emotionally for a really long time, and now that I finally have accepted it, I don't want them

back in my life. So I made that very clear to them. I told them that their relationship with Chloe did not bother me at all because I did not want to have a relationship with them in any capacity and that was my final decision. I was about to hang up, but my mother stopped me and said that they had done what I had wanted to, so I had to be there for them and I couldn't make excuses like this. I couldn't, for the life of me, understand what they were talking about. So I asked them to elaborate, and they told me that they had assumed that I had obviously read out that letter because I wanted them to know the truth about why Chloe had asked them to kick me out and realize that they had been manipulated. And they were right about that, but they went horribly wrong after that.

Apparently, they had somehow started to believe that the only reason I wanted them to know that they had been manipulated was so that they would cut Chloe out of their lives and then. I would be willing to rebuild my relationship with them and even help them out in the future now that they had retired. I was really confused because I had not hinted at that at all, and if they had started to believe something like this, that was completely on them and not on me. So I told them that I had not given them any hints, but my parents started yelling at me, saying that I had been misleading them, and now, I had to promise to help them out whenever they needed it in the future.

Apparently, they had been spending a lot of money on helping Chloe keep up with the bills and also raise her son, so they feared that they hadn't saved up enough money for their own retirement. They didn't have the option of going back again, so they had to rely on their other and they were appalled that I was refusing to help them out. I don't even understand what was wrong with my parents, but it was so ridiculous that I decided to hang up on them while they were talking about how. how they expected me to help them out. And then I blocked that number and I have decided that I'm not going to be taking any calls from any numbers that I don't recognize right away and I might even install some apps to help me place unrecognized phone numbers because I'm so sick of my family right now.

I just don't want to be reachable to them, plain and simple. I've also spoken to my grandparents about it and they think that I have the right idea cutting them out of my life completely and not allowing them to reach me. Things have pretty much gone downhill in my personal life ever since I opened the door the other day. I guess I shouldn't have opened the door to my apartment at all and that would have saved me a lot of trouble because now, it feels like they are stuck on me and are refusing to leave me alone. Update 3, the funniest thing just happened today and I feel like I have to share it. So it has been two weeks since my parents last contacted me, and after I blocked them,

they thankfully did not try to reach out to me again apart from an email that they had sent two days after I blocked them, saying that they would still be cut Chloe out of their lives entirely if and only if I promised to take care of them in the future. Honestly, I think it's very sad that they are willing to cut her out of their lives because it just goes to show that they cannot be loyal to even one of their daughters. They are horrible parents and I can't say that I feel bad about what I did today because all three of them are equally bad. Anyway, for the last two weeks, I hadn't been in touch with them and I was pretty busy. But today, around 8 in the morning, I was going through my emails and I realized that I had received one from Chloe. She had been very patronizing and pompous that one,

saying that she was ready to forgive me for what I had said about all of this being her fault and that she had deserved this, because she knew that it was coming from a place of bitterness and hatred. And even though I had not apologized for anything, she still managed to find forgiveness in her heart for me because she was surrounded by kindness, like her friends and her family. No matter what, she will always have her parents and people who loved her, no matter who left her, and I was just jealous that I would never have that. She was bragging about this support system that she had and she had included our parents so I assumed that she had no idea that they had been planning to cut her off so they could get on my good side because I'm on my path to success right now.

And it was just so funny because all I had to do was take a screenshot of the message that my parents had sent me and sent it to her as a reply to the email that she had sent me to show her exactly how much her parents loved her. It's just sad because I'm pretty sure that if you put all their money together, they will be able to get by and they have no reason to be acting like this. But they're just so greedy that they see anybody doing slightly better in their lives, they feel like they have to get a piece of it. First, it was my grandparents, since they are pretty well off and they're not stupid so they know how to manage their wealth. And now it's me because I'm doing better than my sister. It's very obvious to me that none of them value each other and I think

they should know that. Update 4 Hi, Everyone. So many of you wanted an update on the situation with my family. I have nothing to do with them anymore, but from what I know, there's uproar in the family right now. The message that I sent, the one where I had exposed my parents were saying that they were ready to cut Chloe out of their lives as long as I promised them that I would help them out in the future, pretty much shattered any relationship that they had with each other. Chloe, like an idiot, put up a huge post about it on social media, saying that she had always put her trust in the wrong people, but she had apparently never expected her parents to turn out the same way because, well, they were her parents. I don't think she was wrong for that. Nobody expects their parents to

turn out like this, but I think she should have seen this coming after they kicked me out. They have no loyalty towards anyone apart from themselves. In retaliation to their post, my parents put up another post saying that she had been leaching off of them for the past couple of years and they have been supporting her without any questions. But there has to be a limit to everything and she can't expect to live off of her parents indefinitely. So they are caught in a social media battle right now and there's a lot of drama surrounding them, which is definitely not good press for her flower shop. At least my parents are still retired, but she has a reputation to think of, but she doesn't even seem to care about it. She only cares about getting back at her parents and I'm not even surprised that she's not successful right now. She's only looking at the short-term goals and that's how she has been her entire life.

My grandparents and I are just sitting back and enjoying the drama that's unfolding because even though I have nothing to do with it, I kind of do have everything to do with it right now. Both of them have had the good sense to keep me out of their posts because they probably know that if I get involved, all three of them will come out really badly. Anyway, I don't even want to speak up about any of this and give them the attention that they are seeking right now. It's very obvious to me that they only want people to sympathize with them, but so far, nobody from our family has fallen for it. In fact, people are kind of avoiding them because of how they act and it is so stupid that they don't even realize that their actions are having the opportunity. of the desired effect. But whatever, my life is pretty great right now and that's all that matters to me. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother declined to transport my child to the medical facility during my absence on a business excursion as she had engagements with my favorite sibling

and instructed me to do so. Keep the burden to myself. Hi, I 28F have had a rocky relationship with my mother since childhood, but this time, the limit has been crossed as it's now affecting my son. I'll explain in detail. So, my mother, let's call her Sylvia, 56F, raised me and my younger sister Jane, 26F, all alone after my father passed away unexpectedly. She has been a bitter woman for as long as I can remember, but people used to ignore it because of the trauma she faced losing a husband and raising her children alone. I have been very spirited since a young age, always running out in nature and smiling at passers-by, but I never received the same kindness from my child. mother. My sister was two when my dad died, so I used to help my mom in my own little ways by taking care of Jane or entertaining her when she was alone. My mother did acknowledge me here

and there, but that was all the love I got from her. Over the years, due to this, I started lashing out and became the ultimate ungrateful child she expected me to be. By the time I turned 13, I got a part-time job, took care of the chores at home, and even babysat Jane, only for my mom to come back from work and find faults with the slightest things. This led to fights almost every day, so from that point on, I started to stay aloof. I think Jane was affected by this sudden change in my behavior and tried to get closer to me, but I rejected her advances. Over the next few years, it was evident that Jane had become my mother's favorite child. The favoritism was so clear that she didn't show up at my high school graduation because Jane was sick, but that's a story for another day. After

After graduating from high school, I moved to another city for college as soon as I could, and there was no contact with my mother because neither of us made an effort to stay in touch. I still got casual texts from Jane and would reply whenever it felt necessary. I got married to my then-husband a few years into college and had a son, Jaden. Jaden had extreme food sensitivities and was allergic to 10 certain food items, which were life-threatening. We opted for a vegan lifestyle after the doctor's recommendation, and things. were going okay. I was still in contact with Jane during all this, although we weren't close, and it was a relationship only maintained through texts and occasional calls. My mother tried

to contact me after hearing about Jaden's birth, but I never really cared enough to call back. Meanwhile, my relationship with my then-husband had turned abusive, so I filed for divorce and moved back to my hometown soon after. Jane got to know of this and wanted to meet me in Jaden, so I invited her over to my new apartment. Jane showed up with my mom. When my mom saw me, she acted like everything was all right between us. I found it extremely weird and wanted to talk about it, but seeing how happy Jaden was to have new company, I let it go for the moment.

Later, when Jaden was asleep, we got to talking, and I confronted my mother about the no-contact. Jane interrupted and apologized on my mother's behalf, saying it was highly inappropriate of her not to talk. to try to contact me, but this was an olive branch from her to me because, at this point, they were the only ones I could call family. I didn't agree to it, but the way my mother pleaded for a chance to be a part of her grandson's life and realizing how happy Jaden was, I decided to give our relationship a shot. Things were okay over the next few months. I found a hybrid job in

marketing, and my company was kind enough to give me work from home, considering my son was alone. Jaden's college was an hour's ride from our hometown, so she used to visit every now and then, but things between my mother and me weren't good. She came to my house almost every weekend. Weekends at my job are light to take care of her grandson, but instead, she took charge of the house as if I were living under her roof. I let it slide the first few times, thinking this was just how she was, but her controlling nature was getting out of hand, and I decided it was best to ask Jane to intervene because I was sure I'd end up fighting with my mom, which wouldn't be good for Jaden to see. Jane agreed and told me she would talk to my mom that very day, which made me feel a bit

relieved. What happened next was hell. I got a call from my mom the next day, and she went on about how I should have talked to her directly like an adult instead of complaining to my sister. I tried to tell her that it wasn't the right time to talk, but she kept going, so I put her on speakerphone and went back to my work. She must have realized this after not getting a response from me, and she hung up. Later that evening, I got a call from Jane saying that mom was disappointed and even cried about how I handled the call. I told Jane very clearly that I wasn't going to be pushed around like I was during our childhood and that I wanted Mom to stay out of my and Jaden's life for a while. Jane tried to convince me not to curtail Mom's time with Jaden, but eventually agreed.

I later got a text from Mom apologizing for misbehaving with me on the phone and saying that she would keep her distance from then on. A year passed during all this, and Jane graduated college. Jaden also turned four, so I could now leave him with trusted babysitters during emergencies, a role mostly played by Jane. I did see Mom occasionally, basically family events or holidays, and things went pretty well. On one occasion, I had to rush to work urgently and asked Jane if she could. could babysit Jaden. She had a job interview, so she suggested that mom could take care of him. I was initially skeptical, but, after thinking it over, I decided it was the only viable option. My mom was more than happy to babysit Jaden, so I gave her a briefing on his allergies and what

to do if anything went wrong. I had to cut it short because my mom blurted out, you can trust me with your child, I raised you, after all. I still handed her the cheat sheet to Jaden's needs and asked her to call me immediately if anything went wrong. She nodded, and I left. My work errand was at most a two to three-hour job, which I thought would be easy enough for my mom, who had just bragged about her ability to raise children. I got a call within an hour and a half, asking me to reach a nearby hospital ASAP. I apologized to my bosses and rushed to the hospital, only to find out that Jaden had an allergic reaction. I was extremely angry at my mother and asked her to wait out while I received Jaden and spoke with the doctors. They told me Jaden had eaten some cookies with

gluten, one of the ten items he is allergic to, and although he was safe now, this could have gone very wrong. I assured the doctor that this wouldn't happen again and went home, taking my mother with me. Jane had already arrived at my house, so I asked her to take Jaden to his room and stay with him, which she did. What went down between me and my mother could be best described as a very dramatic fight, where my mother tried to blame the mishap on Jaden eating the cookie when she wasn't looking. But quickly admitted it was her fault for not listening to me or checking the cheat sheet. I was done with her and told her that there was no way she could stay around Jaden without my supervision anymore. She started to cry, saying it was a mistake and that I was being

too harsh, but I stood my ground as it was now a matter of life and death for my child. She left soon after, and Jane followed her. I later got a text from Jane accusing me of being too harsh, but when I told her she would face the same consequences if she defended mom, she quickly backed down. I hired a kind of permanent babysitter, Nancy, from a company that provided background-check caretakers, and it's safe to say that I didn't need Jane for Jaden after that. Jane still visited me and Jaden, but her visits became much less frequent. After Jane got a job, our relationship became more distant, and we went back to the old routine of texting, rarely discussing our personal lives. I still received occasional texts from her about Jaden, but that was the extent of our contact,

and I was okay with it because I understood the dynamic. A few months later, I was caught up in another work situation on a Saturday, which was also the day of Jaden's monthly doctor's appointment. I asked Nancy to take Jaden to his appointment, but she was at the hospital with her own child, so I called Jane for help. Jane answered but claimed she had a work commitment and suggested mom could babysit. I was about to refuse and remind her of what happened the last time, but before I could, my mom overheard Jane and, not realizing I was on the call, started ranting about how she wouldn't babysit Jaden even if she was being paid because dealing with him and his condition

was a burden. Jane tried to stop her, but she went on to blame me for not being a good mother and keeping the burden of dealing with Jaden to myself. I was so done with her that I was so done with her that I ended the call with Jane and immediately called my mom to give her a peace of my mind. She picked up and began apologizing, saying she was supposed to have brunch with Jane and that what I heard was just her being frustrated. I told her that I wished for her to stay away from me and the burden forever. Mom tried to patch things up with me, but I hung up as soon as I realized her apology wasn't sincere but out of fear of losing her grandchild. Jane didn't defend her this time and apologized, but I chose to ignore her texts because she lied to me about having work when

she could have told me the truth. Anyway, I decided to take a rain check at work to accompany Jaden on his doctor's visit and decided not to initiate contact with my family from then on. The year passed with Jaden constantly asking about his grandma. As hard as it was for me to see him miss my mom, I managed to divert his attention to other things. It was time for his fifth birthday, and we had already chosen a school for him to start kindergarten. I did send out a few invites for his birthday, which included Jane but not my mother. Jane happily attended and brought a huge bag of gifts, which, to be honest, looked pretty expensive. I wasn't comfortable accepting something so costly from her, so I asked her not to spend so much in one go,

especially for a child who might move on to the next toy as soon as he finds one. Jane told me the gift-trapped box inside the bag was hers and the rest were from Mom. I didn't know how to react, so I asked her to take them back. She refused, saying she didn't want to get between me and Mom's feud and suggested that I at least consider Mom's gesture for her grandson, which was the least she could do after not being able to meet him. I understood where she was coming from and started to feel guilty about keeping Jaden away from his grandma when they enjoyed each other's company so much over what maybe only I considered serious. After Jane's reaction to it, I decided to call my mother after the party to talk things out with her.

After everyone had left, Jaden and I decided to open the gifts, and he, of course, picked the big bag from his grandma. I looked inside and took out the first gift, a plushy for his school bag. When I reached in to take out more things, I realized the rest of the bag contained multiple boxes of cookies from an expensive bakery, made from ingredients Jaden is allergic to. I was upset that my mother was so focused on making a grand gesture that she didn't even check if what she was sending was appropriate. I decided not to show it to Jaden, saying the plushy was all that was in the bag, but he threw a tantrum and eventually took out the cookies, asking me to open a box and give him one. Things escalated, and after not reaching a resolution, I decided to call my mom and ask her to tell Jaden that the gift wasn't for him.

My mom was ready for a fight on the call, expecting me to apologize and thank her for her excellent gift. When I told her that her gift was dangerous for Jaden's health and asked her to convince him not to eat it since it was her gift, she flipped. She started giving me examples of how she raised me and Jane, and said that if I weren't such a weird hippie, because I was vegan, which she considers an alternative lifestyle, and raise my son like a normal child, then he wouldn't have these issues. I was taken aback by her audacity, but I didn't have time to argue, so I asked her to address the situation with Jaden, which she eventually did after some complaining. She told Jaden that the cookies weren't for him and that she would bring his gift tomorrow, to which he listened. I thanked her for calming the situation and hung up before she could say more. After this, I fell into a rut, overthinking what my mom had said, blaming me for Jaden's health

when she was clearly in the wrong. It triggered a lot of childhood trauma, and I called Jane, hoping she would understand and help me sort things out, but instead, she told me to let it go because that's just how mom is. From that moment on, I decided not to discuss my problems with Jane and to keep our contact limited. I wasn't okay with what had happened and wanted to teach mom a lesson. The next day, when she showed up at my door with another gift for Jaden, I asked her to leave, saying that since she wasn't happy with me and my lifestyle, so much. much so that she was willing to put her grandson's life in danger, she didn't deserve to be in our lives. She started talking about how she raised me through hardships only for me to steal her grandson from her, but I held my ground and said I didn't want her around anymore. Then, in an

attempt to guilt trip me, she asked about the gifts she sent and how expensive they were. I quickly went inside, brought the bag of presents to return to her, and wrote a check right there for the gift Jaden had already opened. She told me there was no need to be petty. but I was determined to cut all contact with her, no strings attached, so she left disappointed. I knew it would be hard to break the news to Jaden, so I told him that Grandma would be gone for some time due to her personal plans, which he accepted. I also got a call from Jane, who was hysterical over Mom throwing a tantrum after returning from my house and getting sick because of it. She wanted me to apologize and mend things with Mom, but I told her, that's how Mom is,

and that she'd be fine soon enough. Jane called me unempathetic and hung up, which I'm fine with, although I do think my relationship with Jane has been affected due to all the drama, and Jaden might never see his grandma again. So, could I be the A-hole for this? Update 1. Thank you to everyone in the comments for understanding my situation, and I now realize that I wasn't in the wrong at all. I still regret how things went with Jane, but she is to blame for not seeing the wrong in my mother's actions and instead justifying it, and I won't initiate contact. with her until she comes around and apologizes. A lot of you asked about how my relationship with Jane was okay despite her being treated as the golden child. The thing is, I was mature enough to understand that it wasn't her fault, but my mother's for favoring one child over the other.

Jane has always been the easygoing child and maintained her neutral stance, balancing both me and mom. She hasn't been problematic or rude but rather non-confrontational, which is why she asked me to let it go. But I guess it's high time she understands that relationships can't be maintained by being a dormant, which she is facing in the form of mom's unwarranted tantrums. Now for the actual update, I am writing this after about a week. I hadn't heard from Jane regarding my mother, so I assumed things were fine. Knowing my mother, I suspected something bad might happen, so I decided to take a short vacation

with Jaden until a few weeks passed after the incident before his school began. Before we could leave, I got a call from my call from my family. paternal aunt. I haven't mentioned my relatives so far because they weren't relevant to the story or my life. Most of them have been advocates for my mom's behavior toward me during childhood, and the rest turned a blind, so I never made serious efforts to maintain a relationship with them other than the occasional pleasantries. This call from my aunt was unexpected, and I thought something serious must have happened. When I picked up, she gave me an earful about how my mother was admitted to the hospital, and I couldn't even visit her. I asked her how she knew, and she told me mom had called her and a few

siblings, bad-mouthing me for abandoning her. I didn't want to explain, so I told her it was complicated and to stay out of it. She began calling me names in anger, but I hung up and blocked her. I'm expecting a few more calls about this, but I hope blocking my aunt sends a message to the rest. Jaden and I will be leaving for our vacation tomorrow, and I hope things calm down after this. Day two, I am writing this update after almost two weeks. Jaden and I had a great time on our vacation, with me staying away from technology for a while, which helped a lot. When I checked my phone, I had a few missed calls from some relatives, but I chose not to call back. Once I returned home, I found some male accusing me of being an inconsiderate daughter and a terrible mother,

which made me realize mom was still trying to play the victim and spread a false narrative. There was no way I was going to talk some sense into her, and I realized that Jane was my only option. I had a few missed calls from her as well, so I decided to call her back. She didn't answer, and assuming she was at work, I left her a voice note, asking her to keep an eye on mom spreading rumors about me and to consider this a warning about the consequences she'd face if this harassment from our relatives continued. She called me back that same night, and she spoke as if nothing had happened between us, but I wasn't going to be. going to entertain that. I asked her to get straight to the point, and she told me that mom was practically begging to talk to me once. I initially refused, but after a lot of persuasion from Jane, I decided to speak with Mom. Mom was overjoyed on the call and began talking as if

everything was normal. I cut her off and asked her why she wanted to speak with me. She told me that from the moment I asked her to stay away from Jaden, she had been suffering in silence, funny how she badmouthed me to everyone, and that she was willing to accept any conditions I had if it meant she could be a part of Jaden's life. I didn't realize how attached she had become to Jaden over time, and she mentioned it vaguely as a way to reconnect with me too. As much as I wanted to sympathize with her, I couldn't forget how she tried to endanger my son's life twice and tried to blame it on me, so I ultimately said no to her demands. There wasn't much more to say after that, so I ended the call and went back to my life. The following days were quiet, with fewer unwanted calls and mom's

attempts to apologize. Jane hadn't reached out since then, so things seemed to be going my way. Last weekend, I got an invite to the wedding of a close childhood friend, who used to be my neighbor. I usually don't attend such events because I'm busy with work in Jaden, but this time I went at my friend's insistence. I hadn't considered that Jane might also be invited, so it surprised me to see her the reception with her plus one my mother. Jaden was thrilled to see his grandma, but mom controlled her excitement in my presence. My mommy radar was on high alert, and I kept Jaden close. I greeted Mom and Jane like a normal person, and as I was about to head to my assigned table, my mom asked if we could talk. I told her I didn't want to cause a scene and thought it best not

to converse, but I had to agree because Jaden started throwing a fit to be with Grandma. Jane suggested that we sit together, there were no seating charts, so that Mom could spend time with Jaden, and I could ensure his safety. Jane took responsibility for Mom, and to avoid escalating Jaden's tantrum, I agreed. The night went well, with Mom acting civil, Jaden enjoying his time with her, and Jane and I catching up. Jane apologized for blaming everything on me and we cleared the air. I didn't get to speak much with Mom as she was busy with Jaden, but that's wasn't a problem. As the night ended and we headed to the parking lot, Mom stopped me and asked if the evening went poorly. I told her it was fine, and she then asked if she could, based on these

few hours, be part of our lives again. I told her that I allowed her to be around Jaden tonight because it was the only practical option. I also reminded her that she had endangered his life before and had never taken responsibility, so there was no way I'd let her near him again, even if it made me the villain in my son's eyes. She began crying on the spot, and Jane tried to calm her down and guide her back to the car. I realized it was best to leave quickly, so I rushed to my car with Jaden, who was also upset by seeing his grandma like this. My mom tried to coaxed Jaden into going with her, but he was too scared and clung to me. Her crying turned into wailing, and I left as people began to gather around her to see what was wrong. I called Jane after putting Jaden to bed.

and she spoke in hushed tones, asking me to call later, so I did. The next day was Sunday, so once I fed Jaden and finished my chores, I sat him down and explained that he wouldn't see his grandma anymore and that he should avoid interacting with anyone outside school without my permission. Especially Jane or Grandma. I think he understood because of the previous night's incident and agreed. I got a call from Jane soon after, and she said she couldn't talk last night because Mom became hysterical at the mention of my name.

I told her it was fine and asked if everything was okay. She mentioned that things were fine for now, but she feared that Mom's behavior might indicate a bigger issue. I agreed and shared my concerns about Mom potentially bothering us again. She understood my perspective and suggested a restraining order if Mom didn't improve. I've also considered moving in case Mom recovers and tries something like this again. Update 3, I am writing this final update after a month, as fortunately, this issue has now been resolved. In the last update, Jane mentioned her concern about mom's behavior, so she wisely got mom checked out.

Mom was diagnosed with severe BPD, and the psychiatrist recommended admitting her to a private mental health institution for a while due to her age and for better care. Jane agreed and discussed it with Mom, who surprisingly understood and accepted the doctor's advice. The institution is in another state, so Mom and Jane will be leaving next week to admit her. I knew Jane didn't have the money for this, so I offered to help financially, but she said Mom was covering the costs, so I backed off. Jane also passed on a message from Mom to Jaden, saying she would get well soon and see him when his mother allowed it. I decided to keep this message to myself. Jaden and I won't be moving for now because Mom won't be around anymore, and even though things have been rough between us, I still hope she gets better. I hope you enjoy this story.

Guardians assured me they would cover the expenses for my ceremony, but ended up allocating their funds towards my sibling separation instead. They subsequently suggested that I call off my nuptials, prompting me to exclude them from the guest list. Currently, they are communicating everyone I'm a gold digger. Six months ago, when I got engaged, my parents had promised me that they were going to pay for my wedding. And about three weeks ago, they told me that they wouldn't be able to do that. And it's all thanks to my sister, 36F, who decided to get divorced from her husband around the same time. For context, my fiancé, 34M, and I, 34F, have been together for the past three years and when he proposed, I was the happiest person on earth and told my family that day itself.

We planned on paying for our wedding ourselves, we wouldn't have had an issue with it, but my parents were so happy when they found out about the engagement that they told me that they would be paying for everything. At first, I was a bit unsure but then, they got me to agree to at least splitting the cost. That way, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about letting them cover the entire cost of the wedding. When my fiancé and I realized that we could have a slightly bigger wedding than we initially planned on having, thanks to the help of my parents, we planned accordingly. Now, all of a sudden, they told me that they wouldn't be able to finance the wedding because a lot of their money went into paying the divorce attorney, who handled my sister's divorce. My parents both retired from their

jobs a couple of years ago and have been running a bookstore together since then. They are doing reasonably well, it's not like they're poor, but it's not like they're extremely rich either. So I don't even understand why they felt the need to take over my sister's divorce and pay for her divorce lawyer out of their own pockets. Especially when they were well aware of the consequences. of hiring one of the best divorce attorneys in town. Of course, he was going to charge a bomb and then knew it, but they still went ahead with him in spite of the promise that they had made to me just a month before my sister filed for divorce.

Apparently, my sister had already been having a lot of trouble in her marriage by the time I got engaged, but nobody knew about it. However, a month after I announced my engagement, she and her husband got into another huge fight, and that's when she decided to end the marriage and move in with our parents. My parents told me that they didn't have any other option other than helping her out with the cost of the divorce and the attorney because she had quit her job about a year ago, and even though she and her husband had been together for almost eight years and married for six. The way he had been fighting with her of late made her think that maybe he would try to take everything away from her. They did not even have a pre-nup, so she was scared of what would happen, and that's why my parents had decided to get the top divorce attorney to fight for her. It has proved to be quite expensive because the process is still ongoing and they're still in the middle of negotiations, so they can come to a settlement eventually.

And it's burning a hole into their pockets, so when I asked them about the money that they had promised me for the wedding, they had to finally come clean to me and tell me that they would not be able to finance my wedding anymore. Ever since I got engaged and started planning my wedding, I had been counting on them, and they had every opportunity to let me know that they would be helping my sister out with her divorce and so, they wouldn't be able to be. able to contribute to my wedding. In the initial stages, I might have found it, and I might not even have cared about it. But they chose to tell me just a couple of weeks ago when I had already planned everything out and even made payments in advance to certain vendors and had also rented the venue and paid a certain amount for it. Most of the payments that I had made were non-refundable and so, I would have to go through with whatever I had planned. All along, I had been thinking that I would only have to clear the payments now, but the rest of it would be taken care of by my

because that's what they had promised. They had said that we would split the cost of the wedding, and so, that's what I had kept in mind while I planned my wedding. And now, all of a sudden, they had dropped a bomb on me and told me that they wouldn't be able to do it. So for the past couple of months, they had been stringing me along and telling me that they would definitely take care of all the expenses, in spite of knowing that they wouldn't be able to do it. I spoke to them about it three weeks ago, when my fiancé and I were visiting them, and my sister happened to out at the time. We had visited them with the purpose of asking about when they would be able to send us the money that they had promised us because soon enough, we would have to clear the

rest of the amount as well because our wedding was coming up and we didn't want to wait until the last minute or until after the wedding, because then, we would be too busy. We wanted to get everything out of the way because everything had been finalized anyway and we didn't want to change anything. That's when my parents finally confessed that they did not think it would be wise for them to spend even more money, given the fact that they were already spending a fortune on making sure that my sister did not lose anything in the divorce. That's when I started freaking out at them because honestly, I was already pretty stressed from planning the wedding and this was the last thing that I needed to know. They had thrown my budget off and entirely, and I think I had the right to be

mad at them. Then, they even made it worse for themselves by saying that it was my fault for not planning and trying to have a wedding bigger than one we could actually afford. Just for the record, my fiancé, and I had decided initially that we would cover the cost of the wedding houses and we were planning on having a small wedding, but my parents insisted that they would cover the cost of at least half of expenses. That's when we started thinking a little bigger and even right now, we are not exactly having a high-budget wedding. It's not like we can't afford it, it's just that my parents had promised us something and I genuinely would have been fine with a smaller wedding if it had been just me and my fiancé funding it. Even right now, we can afford it, but it just

threw off my plans. And for my parents to have the audacity to tell me that I did not plan ahead and this is my fault, even though it was they who had led me to think that they would be able to take care of half the expenses, it was just straight up gaslighting. They knew that this was not my fault and they were also well aware of the fact that the only reason I planned a slightly bigger wedding was that they had promised me something but now, they were trying to turn it around on me and I was just not going to have it. So we kind of got into a fight and then they started emotionally manipulating me and told me that it was bad enough that I was getting married when my sister was going through something so awful in the first place.

Apparently, my parents believe that I shouldn't even get married right now because my sister is going through a divorce and she needs the family to be there for her instead of trying to rub my life in her face like this, by getting married. They started trying to tell me to push the wedding to a later date so that my fragile sister wouldn't get affected because right now, she just can't handle it emotionally. It was so ridiculously crazy that they were trying to act like this was a sign for me to push back the wedding as if I hadn't already planned everything and made payments for it. I was already really furious at them for everything.

That just made everything ten times worse and I ended up leaving with my fiancé and that ended on a very bitter note. After that, I pretty much stopped speaking to my parents. For a really long time, I had tried my best to make excuses for them as to why they were not able to send the money that they had promised so that we could clear the rest of the payments as well. But after we found out the truth, my fiancé and I decided that there was no point in speaking to them. And just so that we are clear, it was not about the money, it was about the promise that they had made and of course. It was also about the fact that they had tried to gaslight me into believing that

this was somehow my fault for not planning ahead, whereas it was actually they who hadn't done so, and that I was a bad person for wanting to get married while my sister was going through a divorce. To be honest, I don't really think that's a valid point because from what I know, my sister had been having problems with her husband for the past couple of months and this didn't exactly surprise anyone. But as for me and my fiancé, literally, everyone had known that we were planning on getting married, and we had only waited for so long because his father's health had been doing a little badly in the past, but once he started getting better, we got engaged immediately. Otherwise, we had plans to get married last year itself and both our families knew about it. So if my parents had truly wanted to finance my wedding, they should have planned ahead and they had to realize that they wouldn't have been able to pay for it. They should have told me about it instead of hiding it and pretending that it was still happening.

I feel like the reason that I'm mad at them is pretty valid, but for some reason, they just refuse to understand it and are pretending like I am the bad guy here. For the past couple of weeks, ever since we had that fight, we hadn't been speaking to them, and a couple of days ago, my fiancé and I finally sent out the invitations. As I had mentioned, he and I make enough money to be able to afford the wedding on our own as well, but we had just been expecting a little help from my parents. However, after we realized that it was not going to happen, we cleared all the payments ourselves and finalized all the plans since the wedding was coming

up in just a couple of weeks and we were going to go off an hour honeymoon just a couple of days after the wedding, so we didn't want to keep anything waiting. We also sent out the invitations, but we decided to leave my family out of it because after what had happened, I did not want them around me because it would just be unpleasant. I thought that they should have seen it coming because even after we had that fight, they had not bothered to reach out to me even once to apologize. Let alone apologize, they hadn't even reached out to me to speak to me or check up on how I was doing. I could understand my sister not reaching out to me because I don't think she has had a major part to play in any of this. And honestly, she has her own stuff to deal

with and she's also living with my parents so she's definitely going to side with them, so I can forgive her or at least understand where she's coming from. But my parents' reaction to all this was very surprising because I had at least expected them to reach out to me once because so far, they had been an active part of planning the wedding and had been just as enthusiastic as I had been. Yet as soon as we hit a snag, they cut me off and did not bother to apologize, but I think that's because they don't even think they have anything to feel sorry about right now. If you had tried to speak to me, I might have even attempted to sort things out with them, but when that did not happen, I was very disappointed and that's why I did not invite them to

the wedding either. And my fiancé and his family also think that we did the right thing, by not extending an invitation to them because clearly, they couldn't have cared less since that's how their behavior had been. I also did not actually think that they would care, but once they found out that a lot of the family members had received their invitations to the wedding and they hadn't, my parents decided to call me up and confront me about it. Both my parents sounded extremely upset when they were speaking to me on the phone, but I was very transparent with them and I told them that the way they had behaved with me had been very hurtful. And even if I was able to look past the fact that they had tried to gaslight me into believing that the bad person getting married while my sister was getting divorced, that they had lied to me for so many months and let me believe that they would be able to finance the wedding. I couldn't possibly look past the fact that they hadn't even bothered to try and make things right with me after we had a fallout. And so, I did what I thought was right and I did not invite them to the wedding because it was supposed to be a happy day and right now,

I did not feel very happy about my relationship with them. Then, my parents started defending themselves and told me that I was being unreasonable and came up with a bunch of arguments that they thought explained everything and right now, I don't know what to think of it. So the first thing they told me was that the reason they didn't initially tell me that they wouldn't be able to afford to cover the cost of my wedding because they were already paying for the cost of the attorney for my sister, because they really didn't think it would be that expensive. And neither did they believe that the divorce would be going on for so long. It's been close to five months and they still haven't been able to come to a conclusion about what they want. The situation has gone to family court as well, so it might be resolved eventually, but that's still not going to happen before a couple of months. months. Don't ask me why it's taking them so long to get divorced and just be done with it because

honestly, even I don't know the details of it, apart from the fact that they are still fighting over alimony and settlement and who gets what from the assets that they own jointly. It's all financial, basically, but even then, I can't imagine taking so long to come to a decision about what they want. And even if it's taking them so long, I think my sister should pay for at least some of the costs since it's only been one year since she quit her job and I know for a fact that she definitely has some savings set aside. But my parents say that she should save that for the future because right now, she's looking for a job and once she finds one that's decent enough,

she's going to move out and she needs money for the future as well. That's why they had decided to help her out and they expected me to understand that. The second thing that they told me was that they had obviously been embarrassed when they realized that they wouldn't be able to pay for my wedding and they had been trying to scrap together at least some money, but eventually. They had decided against it because they were not getting any younger and was not the right time to be splurging on everything. They knew for a fact that I would be able to afford the wedding on my own and my fiancé was always there for me, so they didn't think that it would get complicated and thought that I would just forgive them and understand where they were coming from.

So then I did not forgive them. They were kind of thrown off and that's why they ended up trying to gaslight me because they were getting defensive. They apologized for that, but they still said that they expected me. me to be the bigger person and at least try and understand what they were going through. Because ultimately, it was only the family who was going to be there for you and who you could count on. And if they couldn't even count on me to understand their predicament right now, then maybe I was not the kind of person that they thought they had raised. That statement really stayed with me and I started thinking that maybe I'd been a bit too

materialistic while dealing with my parents and not inviting them to my wedding at all might have been a tad bit too harsh. However, there's a tiny little part of me that is still really furious at them because they lied to me, tried to gaslight me, and ultimately, didn't even apologize to me. I'm facing this dilemma right now and I'm really in two minds right now, but I don't know which part of my mind to go with. So, I'd offer not inviting my parents to my wedding after they told me that they would not be able to contribute to it? Update 1, hey, so a couple of days have passed since I last spoke to my parents, and back then, I had told them that I needed some time to think about whatever they had said and basically just reflect on everything before I came to a decision. And in these couple of days, the only thing

that I have come to a decision about is that thinking about this is just going to make my head hurt. I'm being serious right now, this situation is not as black and white as I thought it was, and even most of the comments shared a similar sentiment. When I spoke to my fiancé about it, He also told me that ultimately, I had to make my decision about whether I wanted to invite my family to the wedding or not myself, but he would suggest taking some time away from them entirely and then thinking about it with a clear and calm head. Some people wanted to ask why his parents had not offered to pay for the wedding and well, that's pretty obvious. His dad falls sick pretty often and his health has not been well for the past couple of years. So there's no telling when they'll need the extra money, and personally, I don't really think it's necessary for us to ask them to cover the expenses either. In my original post, I had mentioned quite a few times that my fiancé and I were perfectly

capable of funding the wedding ourselves, but we had just expected my parents to help out because they had said they would. Anyway, coming back to my parents, I reached out to them once again, and I told them that I still hadn't thought about what I wanted to do. I said that things are not as easy and simple for me as they think it is and especially after all the time that we have spent, those three weeks that we hadn't even spoken to each other, that's what really matters. That's what actually counts and that's what has been stopping me from just fixing things with them because, well, they didn't apologize and when they did, it was a little too late. They didn't reply to that message, but it's fine, it's just going to give me more time to think about what I want. Until then, I'm just going to focus on planning my wedding and also my work because I still have to wrap up a lot before I take off for my wedding and honeymoon.

Update 2. Hey so two days ago. I posted an update in there. I had mentioned that I was still not ready to come to a conclusion about whether I want my parents and my sister and my wedding or not. They made it pretty easy for me by declining to attend the wedding now because they think that it's insulting and really humiliating for them to be kept on standby like this. My sister was the one who sent me a message a couple of hours ago and said that she was really sorry that I was having so much trouble around the time of my wedding, but since I had not been sensitive enough to push it to a later date, even though she was going through a horrible divorce. She did not feel that it was necessary for them to be so sensitive to me either. The first paragraph of the message that she had sent was just her ranting about how awful it had been of me to constantly be talking about my wedding around my parents and planning it right in front of her. even though I knew that she was going through a terrible divorce and the worst phase of her life. She said that it was insensitive of me and she knew that it was just me trying to rub it in her face to show off how happy I was and she said that I was truly evil for doing something like that. Just to set the record straight, in the past five months, I had tried my best to be very sensitive to what my sister was going through. And that's why, I had hardly ever visited my parents to talk about the wedding because I knew that my sister was going to be around since she was living.

with them. Whenever my parents wanted to talk about the wedding, would either ask them to stick to phone calls or come visit me themselves. It just so happened a few times that I would visit my parents with my fiancé, they were the ones who turned the topic of discussion to my wedding, even though I did not want that. But I guess they conveniently left out that fact while speaking to my sister and I guess it must have been really easy to turn her against me because even though I did not particularly have anything against her, she was always very easily influenced, and in the past few months. She seemed to actually have developed a bit of a tendency to dislike me and I had tried my best to ignore it, but I guess she has picked aside for worse. Anyway, in the next paragraph, she started talking about how my parents were also heard about how I was taking so long to come to a decision about whether I actually wanted them at my wedding or not.

They believed that it was really not as complicated as I was trying to make it seem, and they thought that I was just holding out on them to insult them. Once again, my parents were making it seem like everything in this world was about them, and I was not allowed to have any feelings about any situation regarding them unless it was positive. She also said that our parents believed that my attempt to hurt and insult them because of something so petty speaks more about my character than there's because at least they had the decency to own up to their mistakes and apologize for them. But I hadn't even apologized to them and at this point, they did not want an apology

for me either because it did not mean anything. It was so dramatic. but apparently, they were claiming that the only mistake that they had made so far was raising a daughter who couldn't see anything beyond money. That line made me really mad because I couldn't believe that they really thought that this was about the money and not about the fact that they had lied to me. Honestly, I couldn't care less about the money because I know that my fiancé and I are going to be able to afford the kind of wedding that we want with or without their help. But my only complaint against them had been that when they had figured out that they wouldn't be able to help me out with the cost of the wedding, have told me about it. And still, somehow, instead of just accepting that they screwed up there still trying to find a way to make it seem like I'm the bad person here and I am materialistic

and greedy. I think pretty much everyone that I have spoken to regarding this situation, my fiancé, his family, and even my bridesmaids, everyone agrees that it's not about the money. It's about the principle of the thing and if they can't even understand that, then they really don't even deserve to be at my wedding. Let alone my wedding, they don't even deserve to be a part of my life anymore because I'm done with them. These past few weeks have been absolutely mentally and emotionally exhausting for me, and I'm actually kind of glad that they decided to decline and are not going to be attending my wedding anyway. Because I only want to be surrounded by happiness and positivity right now and that's not what I'm getting from them at the moment. So I guess things

worked out for the best. Update 3. Hi. I got married. yesterday and thankfully, everything went well without a hitch. In two days, my fiancé and I are going to be leaving for our honeymoon. And I just realized that I referred to him as my fiancé because that's what I had gotten so used to in the past couple of months, but it's actually going to be my husband and I anyway, I'll get to that later. I just want to touch on something that happened with my family recently, but I'm so glad that I have such a strong and positive support system beside me that it did not even affect me. In my last update, I mentioned that my family had declined to attend the wedding because I had

been taking a lot of time to make up my mind about whether I wanted them or not. And rightfully so, after everything that happened, I think I had earned the right to take my time to make a decision about whether I wanted them in my life or not. But obviously, they could not respect that and decided to throw a tantrum and cut me off. After that, I felt a lot more relieved because it had been exhausting for me to deal with them. and since they had decided to cut me off themselves, I felt like the drama was finally over. But I thought wrong because a few days before my wedding,

they sent out a mass email to all my relatives and even a couple of my husband's relatives, with just one line that said that I'm a gold digger and that my husband is about to ruin his life. Obviously, many people had a bunch of questions about it, but we just told them to ignore it because it was clearly just spam and it was my family trying to malign my reputation right before the wedding because they were not going to be invited.

I thought it was weird that they were doing such things just a couple of days before my wedding, even though it was them who had said that they wouldn't want to attend. Anyway, my husband and my friends told everyone who had to save the email to ignore it because it meant nothing. And that's true, it didn't actually mean anything. It was just a desperate attempt to get my attention, but unfortunately, I did not give them the satisfaction of even that. Thanks to my husband and my friends, I was able to take my mind off of it pretty quickly and everything else followed my example and just brushed it off. So I'm really happy to have people by my side who actually love me and are always going to be there for me. And I'm more than happy that in a few days, I'm going to be leaving for my honeymoon with my best friend, my husband. I'm married now and he is the only family that I want in my life.

I hope you enjoy this story. expecting sill stayed in our home at no cost, disposed of all our groceries from the refrigerator during our absence, and insulted me by calling me overweight when I addressed the issue with her. Thus, I kicked her out. So for the past two months, my pregnant sister-in-law has been living with our family rent-free because she needed a comfortable place to crash during her pregnancy and the apartment that she shares with three roommates was not really ideal for her situation. She is 22 and moved here about a year ago, right after she graduated to try and make it as a model. So far, she has been somewhat successful at it and has managed to learn herself some modeling assignments,

but that was put on hold a couple of months back when she got pregnant with her current boyfriend. They've been together for just six months, but she's said to keep the baby for her own reasons. She can't live with her boyfriend, though, since he stays with his parents and is financially dependent on them. So two months ago, a couple of weeks after she found out she was pregnant, my in-laws contacted my husband and asked us if we would be willing to help her out and let her stay with us for free for a couple of months. At the time, we were more than happy to do so because she used to be a pretty sweet girl, but I guess staying in the city has changed her or something because when she moved in, she was a completely different person from what I was used to. I have known her for almost seven

years since that's how long my husband and I have been together and we used to get along quite well before she moved here. My husband's hometown is a farming state and his parents are also farmers, but he decided to attend college here, where we live right now, and would go back home every weekend since it was just a couple of hours of driving. He and I met in college and we got married after dating for two years. We even have a three-year-old son now and I always got along quite well with his family, as he did with mine. His parents are sons. simple folk, and so was my sister-in-law, she was quiet and sweet and actually used to put her brother on a pedestal. That was a huge part of the reason why she decided to move to our city

after she graduated from college, so she could follow in his footsteps and find success here because she did not want to work on the farm. And because my husband and I had already built a life for ourselves, we were able to convince her parents to send her as well, even though they were kind of skeptical because she had never stayed away from home before. But we helped her out and convince my in-laws to just send her without any second thoughts because we would be there to take care of her if she needed any help and we told them that we were confident that she would be able to make something of herself here since farming was not her thing. When she moved here, we had expected her to stay in touch with us because we were actually the reason her parents

eventually came around to accept her decision to move. For the first couple of months, we did stay in touch, we helped her find an apartment and showed her around the city and stuff, but then, she just started fading away from our lives. After she had settled in, she kind of stopped calling or bothering to stay in touch with us, and we made our peace with it as well, because we believed that maybe she was too busy to keep in touch constantly. So we hadn't exactly been close for the past couple of months and had only spoken on the phone a couple of times, we didn't even know what had been going on in her life until we found out

from her parents. Even then, we had been happy to help her out until she showed up, and for whatever reason, she had changed into a complete diva. She hadn't yet become a successful supermodel, but she already had the personality for it, if you know what I mean. She had developed a bit of an attitude problem. She had started acting like she was too good for us,

especially her brother, and had a lot of complaints about everything with regard to our lifestyle. From the food we ate to the bedsheets for the guest room where she was staying. This was new and shocking for us and we had no idea where all of this was coming from, but we tried our best not to let it get on our nerves, even though it was pretty annoying behavior.

We figured that it was probably just a phase and maybe she had picked up this kind of behavior from her roommates or something, but nevertheless, it was still very new for us. It also really bugged me that she had so many complaints about the way we lived because even though we are not exactly poor folk, we aren't billionaires either. So we had a pretty normal lifestyle since both my husband and I are architects. And it's not like she was contributing to any of the expenses, so I didn't understand why she was so comfortable complaining about everything instead of just accepting whatever she had. But my husband and I did not say anything to her or to my in-laws because we had already made a commitment that we were going to let her live with us until she figured out something for herself. So far, we had managed to keep our opinions about this new version of her to ourselves because we really don't want any drama, but a couple of days back, I just couldn't take it anymore, and I had to ask her.

her to leave because of something that happened while we were away on an overnight trip. My cousin was getting married and so, I had to be there with my family. The venue was a couple of hours away, so we were staying there overnight and she just had to spend one night by herself because we would be back the next day. My husband and I honestly did not think that there was anything that could possibly go wrong but the next day. When we came back, I realized that the fridge was entirely empty when I tried to get some food after the trip. When we had left, it had a lot of stuff because we like to keep things in stock,

but when I opened the fridge after the trip, it was completely empty. I'm not even kidding, there was literally nothing and I almost thought that maybe the fridge had been robbed, but of course, that was not what had happened. The only person who had been at home was my sister-in-law, so I confronted her and she did not even deny it. She told me that she had emptied the fridge the previous night while we were not at home because she was planning on starting a special diet, so that she could avoid showing for as long as she could since she did not want to miss out on any modeling assignments just because of a bump or weight gain. She knew that I would never approve of throwing everything away in the trash, so that's why

she had chosen to do it at a time when I was not going to be at home. From the way she was talking about all of it so casually, it was very obvious that she did not feel any sort of remorse for what she had done and thought that it was completely fine for her to empty somebody else's fridge. mind you, the food items that she had thrown away were probably worth a considerable amount of money as well. So it wasn't just food that had been wasted, it was our hard-earned money that had gone to waste because she wanted to go on some sort of special diet and did not think that it was necessary to discuss this with the people whose money she was living off of.

When I asked her about the diet, she told me that she was planning on going completely plant-based eventually, but before that, she wanted to do a detox. She thought that watching us have real food while she was living off of juice was going to make it very difficult for her to stick to her regime, so she had to make sure that we all stuck to the same diet as she did. I was shocked at the level of entitlement and stupidity because not only was this regime extremely dangerous for a pregnant woman who needs all the nutrients that she can possibly get, but she had also forgotten to factor in our son, who couldn't possibly live off of juice. Even in a situation like that, when she was speaking about all of this so casually, and was acting like this was a totally normal thing to do

while living with somebody else's family, I tried to keep my cool with her. I told her that what she had done was simply not acceptable and that she would have to replace everything that she had thrown away. I thought it was a reasonable enough request, and I tried to sound as polite as I could, even though I was really upset. But she decided to make things worse for herself by looking at me, smiling at me smugly, and telling me that she had done the right thing for the family because I could do with losing some weight too. That's where I lost it because she had already messed up by throwing away all our food which we had purchased with our money and now, she was body-shaming me. I didn't even bother screaming at her, I just went into her room and started packing her things.

My husband and my son were in the other room, but they came to the guest room when they heard my sister-in-law shouting at me at the top of her lungs and trying to get me to stop. but I just kept grabbing her stuff and shoving them into her bags, and I told her that she was no longer welcome to live with us anymore because she was clearly not the person that I thought I had invited to stay over. She was no longer the sweet and quiet girl that we used to know and she had turned into this spoiled and entitled brat, and I had no interest in helping her out anymore. So since she knew what was good for the family and was so confident about what was good for her, I was sure that she would be able to find a place for herself in the city and she definitely did not need our help and anymore, just like we did not need hers. She started crying while I was ranting, but that did not affect me because the past two months had been nothing short of insufferable because of her. Every second that my husband and I had spent at home was really difficult for us because this

new version of her was the kind of person who liked making other people miserable, probably because she herself felt like that. But I was done with that now and I wanted to go back to having a normal life with my husband and my son. She kept trying to drag my husband into the argument. But he just said nothing and went back into his room with our son while I packed my sister-in-law's bags for her and once I was done, I started making my way to the door of the house, so I could force her out. After I had kept all her bags on the front lawn, she started crying even harder than she had before and told me that she was not going to go anywhere but still refused to apologize. If she had just said that she was sorry about everything, I might have reconsidered what I was doing.

But at that moment, I was so angry that I grabbed her by the arm and pushed her out of the house. and then I shut the door. She stood outside and kept crying for another 20 minutes or so, but then, I heard a car pull up and then she was gone. The next day, I found out that it had been her boyfriend who had picked her up, and right now, she was staying with him. I don't know why that couldn't have been arranged right from the beginning but anyway, the problem is that right now, I don't feel bad about anything that I did. But my in-laws think that I should feel bad about the way I kicked her out of the house while she was pregnant and they think that the way I behaved was a total overreaction. Personally, I don't think that's the case because my resentment

and anger against her had been building upright from when she moved in, and the only reason I hadn't confronted her about her behavior was because I was afraid of something like this happening. I had tried my very best to keep my cool and not do anything that would hurt people's feelings, but I think that she had pushed me to act like that, and I can't be sorry for it. Besides, if anybody does owe somebody else an apology, I think it's my sister-in-law because whatever she did, it was just stupid and crazy. However, my in-laws refused to see it that way, and they keep insisting that I need to talk to her and apologize to her for the way I behaved because it was completely unnecessary

in their opinion. In my opinion, though, I think she had been cruising for a bruising for the past two months and she should have realized that if she kept testing our limits, this was definitely going to happen at some point. We are all still human beings, after all, not some different higher form of life who are capable of forgiving everything and moving on. My husband doesn't have a strong opinion on this, he thinks that what I did happen in the heat of the moment, and he does think that I was a little too harsh in my treatment of her while I was kicking her out, and that I will agree with.

But her getting kicked out with something that was bound to happen at some point, if not by me then perhaps by him. So he doesn't really think that I have to be sorry about anything, but he also doesn't really think that I have to be sorry about anything, but he also doesn't think that his parents are being totally unreasonable by calling it an overreaction since he does think that I could have been a bit more gentle. So Ida for kicking my pregnant sister-in-law out of the house after she emptied all the contents of my fridge into the trash overnight? Update 1, so it has been nine days since I kicked my sister-in-law out of the house and after arguing with my in-laws for a couple of days, I decided to stop responding to them because I really didn't have anything to say to them anymore. If they really don't see any problem with their daughter's behavior, I don't think I can force them to see it.

As for my husband, he does think that I was a little too rough while handling the situation and I do agree with that, but apart from that, he doesn't exactly expect me to apologize for anything because he doesn't think that whatever I did was uncalled for. So he and I are completely fine, I'm not worried about that. We haven't heard from my sister-in-law ever since she had her boyfriend pick her up from here and I'm assuming that she is still living with him. So good for her, I guess. My son was a little confused as to what had happened, but, thankfully, he hadn't been asking about her. It was a pity that she had to be kicked out like this because, surprisingly, she did get along

well with our son. Anyway, I did what I had to do and I'm not going to sit here and overthink it. Also, obviously, we had to replace all the food that had been thrown away, and she did not send us any money for that, no surprises there. But one thing I'm sure of, if my in-laws or heaven forbid, my sister-in-law herself, dare to show up again, I'm definitely going to be demanding that money that needs to be paid back to us because this kind of behavior is not acceptable and it's not going to fly with me. The last couple of messages that my in-laws sent me were two days back, and since then,

because I have stopped responding, they haven't bothered me, but the last couple of messages also say that I should apologize to my sister-in-law and at least try to clear the air with her, even if I don't allow her to move back in with us. Obviously, I'm not doing that, I think it's absurd that they expect me to apologize to her after the way she has behaved here. She has been entitled, and ungrateful, and ever since she has left,

the environment of the house has improved considerably and I like it this way. It is sad that this fight is even taking place because so far, I have always gotten along well with my in-laws, but if they really don't see my point here then there's hardly anything that I can do. My husband is free to keep in touch with them because I don't expect him to cut them off over something like this. I don't think it's that big of a deal yet.

But so far, even he has said that he doesn't really feel like talking to them right now because all they want to talk about is my behavior with his sister and he doesn't want to keep having the same conversation over and over again with them. Update 2. One week has passed since my last update here and yesterday, my in-law showed up at my house in the evening. I will be honest, my husband and I had really not been expecting that. because like I had mentioned in my last update, they had stopped texting me after I started ignoring them. And since then, they hadn't bothered to text me, so I really didn't think that they were going to show up here so soon, just to deal with this situation right now. I thought that we had dropped it but last evening, when I saw them outside my house and I had to let them in, I realized that they were not going to let this go

until they came to the kind of conclusion that they wanted. My son was obviously quite happy to see his grandparents, but they didn't even give him enough time. Usually, when they visit, the first hour of their visit is fully dedicated to our son and playing with him, but this time, they gave him attention for only a couple of minutes and then told us that they wanted to speak to us in private

and they didn't want to discuss these things in front of our son. So I had my husband take my son into his room because I did not think that his parents were here to speak to him anyway, they were probably able to speak to me. And I really wanted to put an end to this whole thing, once and for all, so I decided to sit with them and talk it out. They had the same complaints all over again, that I had been a little too harsh and that I had really hurt my sister-in-law's feelings,

which is why they feel like I should apologize to her. They also think that my reaction was a bit too extreme if we actually think about the situation and they think that as the older one in this situation, I should have handled it better. So then, I also put my points forward, which I had already done before, and I told them that the particular incident after which I had kicked her out, had been the last straw for me, and even before that, she had been entitled and terrible to live with. If they didn't believe me, they could speak to their own son and confirm it. But her behavior had been really bad throughout her stay here, and I was not willing to apologize to her because I really did not think that I had

overreacted. So I might have been a bit too harsh, but honestly, she totally had it coming. We had already had these discussions before on the phone, so it felt like we were speaking in circles and after I had kept my side forward, my in-laws went silent for a couple of minutes and then said that even if I had been angry because of her behavior. I should have thought about how this would affect the family before taking such an extreme step like kicking her out. They told me that they could understand that I did not approve of her behavior or whatever she had said to me that day, but what I had done was still quite extreme, and regardless of what she had said and done, she was still a member of my family, and I should have taken that into consideration.

I thought that it was not really valid because you can't just forgive everything and everyone simply because they're family. With my sister-in-law, things had gotten to a point where I felt like I had to take a stand for myself, so that's what I did. I reminded my in-laws that I might have forgiven her that instant if she had bothered to at least apologize to me, but she did not think that it was important, which is why she ended up getting kicked out. The bottom line was that I was not going to pretend that I was sorry and apologize to her because that would be fake since I don't feel sorry about anything right now. I said it in a very final sort of way

because I had to work really hard to keep my temper under control while they were acting as if I was the bad guy in this situation all along, and I was getting exhausted from speaking about the same thing over and over again. So I hoped that they would take the hint, and thankfully, they did. They realized that I was not willing to discuss this any further, and I had made up my mind that I was not going to be apologizing, for anything that had happened. After that, they went silent again for a couple of minutes and then, they just abruptly got up and left without even saying goodbye. I was caught a bit off guard by that,

but I said nothing and let them leave. It was obvious that they were not happy with my decision or the discussion that we had just had, but I had made up my mind and I had made things very clear to them. After they left, I told my husband how they had left as well in the discussion that we had had, and now, both of us think that we had said whatever it is that we had to say, there is nothing more that we want to add. So if they can come to terms with the fact that I'm not sorry, then good for them, and if not, then that's not our problem anymore. Update 3 so after my in-laws visited us two days back, we did not have any contact with them, and we thought that this had finally blown over, but once again, we were proven wrong by them.

I really don't understand what their problem is, but they are taking things way too far because now, they have reached out to my parents to speak to them, just so they can get me to apologize. A couple of hours ago, my mom called me up and told me that my in-laws had shown up at their place to discuss what was going on with the family. Apparently, they had told my parents that I was being way too egoistic and narcissistic and that my decision not to apologize to my sister-in-law was going to break the family apart, but I don't even seem to care about that. They approached my parents so they could talk some sense into me because the way that I behaved with them the other day that they visited was also quite rude and they think that I'm becoming arrogant

and more difficult to deal with with every passing day, so something needs to be done about my behavior. I was furious when my mother was telling me about all of this on the phone, but unfortunately, she was calling me after they had already left, so I couldn't exactly go over to confront them about what they were doing. Thankfully, though, my parents did not really engage with them much and just told them that they didn't think that it was their place to be interfering at this point because I was a grown woman and I knew what was best for me. My in-laws did not seem to be happy with that response, but they left without saying much, just that they would appreciate it. If my parents spoke to me about it and got me to realize that family was more important than my ego. I think it's really

ironic coming from them because, at this point, I don't even think that it's about an apology anymore. I think it's about getting their way and forcing me to live by their rules, and they are only unhappy that I'm not being a total puppet for them. Well, they can continue to be unhappy because my husband and I have just decided that we are going to completely cut ties with them. This is more than enough and I think I had been respectful enough when they visited us last but since they have chosen to lie about it and claim that I was disrespectful, I think I'm going to live up to that now. So far, I actually have been trying to deal with everything peacefully and not create more drama out of nothing. But I'm just exhausted now. I really can't force my

myself to care about their feelings constantly, especially when they are being so insensitive towards my feelings and are even being disrespectful towards my family. So my husband and I are done and I really don't think that we are going to be seeing or speaking to them any time soon, not even if they apologize. We need some space and time away from them, so we're going to make sure that we do not have anything to do with them moving forward. Update 4. Hello, guys. So a couple of weeks have passed since our last update and since then, we have blocked my in-laws. A couple of days after my last update, my in-laws reached out to me once again and sent me a text saying that my sister-in-law and her boyfriend had decided to get a place of their own, so she would not need to come back again but apparently.

She had left some stuff of her back in the guest room that I had missed while packing for her, so she would send her boyfriend over to collect it. I replied to them, saying that I was fine with it, and then, they sent me another message saying that they were really disappointed in me. They also mentioned that they had visited my parents, but my family did not seem to be invested in making sure that the family stayed intact and this whole visit here had been a terrible experience for them because they had finally seen a side of me that they had never even considered was there since I had turned out to be pretty egoistic and selfish. After that message, I did not even bother to reply to them, I just blocked them. I had heard these things before as well,

since that's exactly what they had said to my parents. They could have just told me that my sister-in-law's boyfriend would come over to collect some things of hers and ended it there, but I guess they couldn't help themselves but tried to make me feel guilty. Anyway, after I blocked them, they didn't try to get in touch with me again, and neither can they get in touch with my husband since he has also blocked them. I didn't tell him to do so, he did it of his own will,

but I'm sure that they will find a way to make it about me. And three days back, my sister-in-law's boyfriend finally showed up to collect her things, but the surprising fact was that she had also come with him. But all she did was just stand right outside the house and refuse to step in, and when her boyfriend came out of the guest room with all her stuff in a box, she made a whole show of repeatedly making sure that everything was there as if we were thieves. Then, she finally left and we shut the door behind her. Hopefully, now they will finally all leave me alone and get off my back.

Either way, it doesn't really matter because I know that I have my husband by my side and their opinions really don't count for me. I'm happy without any contact with them. I hope you enjoy this story. Dill overheard my confidential conversation regarding our estate plans, and insisted on a share for her children from a prior relationship. She is now using the threat of withholding access to our grandchildren unless we comply with her demands. Give in. Hello, everybody. I am 66F and I have been married to my husband, 68M, for over 40 years.

We have a 40-year-old son together and he recently got married to our daughter-in-law, whom we will call Janet. Janet is also in her 40s and she met my son through work a couple of years ago. They had been dating for three years and about six months ago, they finally got married after a year-long engagement. Now, my son has been married before. I even have two grandkids, a 16-year-old grandson and a 14-year-old granddaughter. Unfortunately, my son's ex-wife passed away a few months after my granddaughter was born. She had a lot of health issues anyway and it had been advised that she not go through with a second pregnancy, but she chose to have my granddaughter anyway and unfortunately, she couldn't survive

for longer because her health was failing. That was a long time ago and we had made our peace with it. But my son didn't date anybody for a really long time after his first wife passed away, and I could understand why. They were really in love, and he was extremely happy with her. To have all that taken away at such a young age, couldn't have been easy for the poor boy. But he was still very good for all of us and his children and made sure that he was there for them at all points of time.

Sure, he had helped from us, but he made sure to always show up for his kids and just was an overall great dad. The first time that my husband and I saw him with Janet, we felt like he was finally going to be happy again. There is something about the way he was acting with her that made us hopeful that he would finally be happy with her and have a complete family again. Of course, we were aware that nobody would ever be able to replace his first wife, but for so long, he had just been content with life. When he introduced us to Janet for the first time, she seemed shy and introverted and didn't talk much. But she said, seemed like a good woman, and just like my son, she had also been married before and had three

kids of her own. She had a 15-year-old twin girl and a 13-year-old son. But her ex-husband was still very much involved in their kids' lives and they had been co-parenting for almost 10 years, since their divorce. Apparently, they got married, really young, but quickly figured out that they were not meant to be with each other and were just not compatible so they called it quit soon after her youngest son was born. I had met her kids as well and I don't mean to sound rude but her kids were not nearly as well behaved as they should have been. They were all quite unruly and had no manners at all when I met them and they seemed to not respect anybody at all, not even their mother. Suffice it to say, it was not a nice first meeting and they did not

leave a good impression on us, but they were not my grandkids, so it didn't matter to me how they behaved. I was just glad that my son's kids were not like that. Janet's kids would only spend the weekends at my son's house and I was worried that my grandkids might pick Janet's kids were really disrespectful and disobedient, and there was no need for them to become like them. It's not like I had anything against her or her kids personally, I just didn't think they were good influences on the family. For instance, her younger son had already started smoking and we had even caught him a couple of times, but she just said that he would grow out of that habit. And her daughters were really mean

and were constantly cussing when they spoke, even when it was their mother that they were talking to. It might sound really traditional and kind of old-fashioned, but I don't think it was nice. I had advised Janet several times to talk to her kids about this and reprimand them, but she had a different approach and believe that if she just let them be, they would grow out of these habits, eventually on their own. Honestly, I didn't see that happening,

and I really believe that parents. at some point, have to intervene to make the kids better. But at the end of the day, these were her kids and I couldn't tell her what to do. But I think she didn't like the fact that I was trying to advise her and the kind of soured things between us. So we hadn't been on good terms for a really long time and even at the wedding, she had been cold towards me and my husband. My son did pick up on it and asked me about it several times, and I told him why I thought

she was being cold towards us, but it was anybody's guess. and apparently, when he had talked to her about it, she had said that she was being perfectly normal with us, and she didn't have anything against us. Even though her behavior very clearly reflected the exact opposite. But my husband and I are quite old and did not have time for such silly mind games and ego classes. We just wanted to quietly spend time with our loved ones and that was it. We did not want to get involved in whatever drama Janet was building up in her own head,

so I told my son not to worry about our relationship and just to focus on his marriage. If Janet didn't like us, we would just stay out of her way. It was very simple for us because we didn't want to complicate things and we decided that whenever we wanted to meet our son or our grandkids, we were just going to call in advance and tell them that we were coming over and in case Janet was at home, we would do our very best to stay out of way and only speak to her if she wanted to talk to us. Other than that, we would have no extra interactions and we were fine with that. She kept to herself and we kept to ourselves.

But then, about two weeks ago, Janet invited us over to their house and said that she wanted to discuss something very important with us. Now this was weird because my son was not at home at the time. He was away on a business trip and I couldn't imagine Janet having anything to say to us in his absence. Even our grandkids were spending the weekend with their friends, so it was just going to be my husband and I and Janet. She said that this is going to be a private conversation so she would appreciate it if we didn't talk to my son about it. We figured that she was probably building up to a surprise or something, so we went over to her place, not having any idea about what she was going to tell us. Once we were there, we made some small talk and it was relatively pleasant. However, after we had talked for about 15 minutes, she came straight

to the point and stopped beating around the bush. She told us that she had invited us over because she wanted to discuss the inheritance since she had recently heard my son and I discussing it over the phone. And she was right, just a couple of days before he left for the business trip, we were talking on the phone and I had told him that my husband and I wanted to review our will because we wanted to make a couple of changes and add some assets and properties that we wanted to specifically leave to certain people, including my son and my grandkids. So we had been discussing that and he had told me that he was going to put me in touch with his lawyer to review everything because the lawyer that my husband and I had for the past couple of years had moved away to spend more time with his children and had retired so

he wasn't practicing anymore and we needed somebody. I guess that's the conversation that Janet had overheard and invited us over to discuss it. I thought that she was going to tell us that she wanted to be included in the will, and I was already mentally prepared to tell her no because I wasn't going to leave anything to her. I was going to leave whatever I wanted to my son, and if you wanted to split it with her, that would be his choice. But it wasn't as though my husband and I were close to Janet. so we didn't see any reason for us to leave anything to her specifically. However, she went a different way altogether and told us that she had been thinking about it for a while and had come to the conclusion that she just had to tell us what my son allegedly felt about all of this.

I had been expecting her to talk about herself, but when she dragged my son into it, I was really put off because on the phone call, my son didn't sound like he disagreed with anything and he had already known the content of my bill for a long time. He hadn't mentioned any changes that he wanted to make and neither had he asked me anything about it so I didn't know what Janet was talking about. She went on to tell me that apparently, after that conversation with me, my son had told her that he was not satisfied with the contents of my will. He wanted to talk to me about the inheritance, but he couldn't bring himself to do so without sounding ungrateful. And that's where she came in, he had told her to talk to us about it before he left for the trip and had come up with a bunch of conditions. Janet went on to tell us that we would not be allowed to see our grandkids anymore unless we changed our will and included her kids as well.

She said that she was going to have to take away our rights to see our grandkids if we didn't do as she said and made the necessary changes to include her family in the inheritance as well. She claimed that this is something that my son had told her to ask of us because he wanted everything to be fair, and leaving her kids out of the inheritance would not be fair. My husband and I were obviously baffled when we heard that because none of it made any sense. Firstly, Janet's kids were not even a part of our family, so I couldn't see any reason why they would be entitled to our money after we were gone. It would have been a different story if Janet or her children had made any effort to get close to us or whatever, but that was not the case here so there was no reason for us to leave anything to them. They had their own grandparents and they could expect them to leave them something but expecting us to do the same was just absurd. And more importantly, I could hardly believe that my son would say something like this, and moreover, get Janet to talk to us about it. He was quite well aware of our strained relationship with Janet, and he had enough sense to not make her talk to us about something like this, something which is so sensitive and personal.

Also, our son is quite straightforward and honest with us, so we couldn't believe that he would get Janet to discuss this with us. I didn't buy that he had even told her to do anything of the sort. but on the off chance that maybe she wasn't lying, I decided not to say anything to her or accuse her of anything at the moment and just agreed with whatever she was saying. My husband and I were equally confused, but he got the hint and played along with me. I just told her that we would think about it and let her know in a couple of days. She had obviously been expecting an answer, then there, because apparently our right to see our grandkids was at stake and she expected us to get serious.

but it was really difficult to do so when she had made it very obvious that there was something fishy going on. We had guessed in a couple of minutes that she was trying to do something here and we were not falling for any of it. So just to pacify her, we agreed with everything that she said and then went back home. As soon as we were at home, my husband and I decided to call our son and talk to him about what just happened because we were really confused and would appreciate some clarity on this. As soon as I had told him, whatever Janet had told us, he sounded really alarmed and asked us if he had signed any documents or whatever, and we told him that no, we hadn't. Then, he told us that he had said nothing of the sort

and he had been afraid that Janet would try to do something like this, because after that conversation that we had on the phone, the other day that Janet had overheard, she had been hounding him to talk to us about the will. She had asked him that day itself, if her kids were going to be included, and he had told her that they were not, which turned out to be a mistake. Because of that point forward, she started constantly nagging him to talk to us about it and fix it because she felt, for whatever reason, that her children were also entitled to be part of the inheritance. My husband and I are quite well off, and we have a considerable amount of money and assets that we are hoping to leave behind for our son and his children. But like I said, I don't think

there's any reason that Janet should expect anything for herself or her children. And the audacity to even expect that our son would talk to us about it and turn the tide in her favor was quite frankly, really absurd. On top of that, the fact that she had even attempted to go behind our son's back and talk to us about it and threaten us by saying that she would not allow us to see our grandkids again was simply ridiculous. I don't know why she expected that she could get away with it because we were obviously going to confront our son about it and get to the bottom of this because this was a pretty big deal, and there was no way that she could avoid being caught. More importantly, she had inadvertently tried to ruin our relationship with our son by lying about him and going behind his back, and that was simply not fine with us.

After that phone call with our son, he told us that he was going to tell our grandkids to directly come back to our place without going back home after they were done hanging out with friends and stuff. And he said that we were supposed to let them stay with us until he had sorted all this out. We were fine with that. So, since that day, our grandkids had been living with us, and our son is still trying to sort things out with Janet, which is not proving to be easy because she is stubborn about the fact that her kids are also entitled to the family inheritance. I still don't understand why she feels that way, but there's not much that I can do to help right now, apart from just taking care of my grandkids and keeping them out of trouble. And from what I have heard so far, things at my son's house are not really going well, because Janet is not being receptive to her. any of his attempts to talk to her. From what he has told me so far, Janet has set an ultimatum for him and told him that he can

either choose between keeping in touch with us or choosing her and his family. Or, he can take the third way out and somehow convince us to include her kids in the inheritance. What's interesting is that she herself said that she didn't want our son to talk to us anymore because we had insulted her by excluding her kids and treated her like an outsider in the family, but she's ready to take our money from us after we are gone. I guess our pride won't be taking a hit at that point. It's just all messy, and I just don't understand what to do about this. My husband and I really feel responsible because my son's marriage is in shambles right now

and even the grandkids don't seem happy about any of this. It's because my son is quite depressed. Every time he has come to visit us since the fight, he has been more and more upset and we feel really bad for him. My husband and I are beginning to feel like we might be the ones who fall. for this because we are the ones who did not include Janet's kids, without thinking about her feelings. Maybe she is actually hurt and not just being greedy, I don't know. But things have gone too far and my husband and I feel very bad about how things have turned out. Especially me, since I feel like

this is kind of my responsibility. I'd offer not including my son's wife's kids from her first marriage in our will. Update 1. Hello, Everybody. It has been great reading all the comments and I feel a lot better and relieved now, knowing that this was not my fault and Janet should have known better. It's been about two weeks since I made my original post here, and unfortunately, things have not improved between Janet and my son. She is still putting up a fight against him and forcing him to either choose between us or convince us somehow to include her kids in the will. I think she is being extremely unfair and I desperately want to talk to her and give her a peace of my mind, but my son has forbidden me from speaking to her and I think it's for the better because

if I do talk to her, I am pretty sure that I will end up ruining their marriage forever. Because right now, I do not have the highest opinion of Janet. On the contrary, I might even have the lowest because what she is trying to do is disgusting. Because that's what she and her children are to us, for the most part. I just feel bad for my son because I know that he deserves better than this. Now I might sound like a stereotypical evil mother-in-law, but I know what I'm talking about. In this case, I don't think that I am the bad guy. I know that my son can do better and the only reason he is still with Janet and has not left her yet is because he genuinely loves her. I appreciate that about him, that at least he is loyal to the people that he loves

and is giving her a second chance to fix their marriage, but unfortunately, Janet is an idiot and is completely blowing it. She has the chance to make this work, but instead of trying to be a better person for my son, she's just sticking to whatever she says, and making things even worse. I personally don't think that there is any way out of this for them, apart from getting a divorce. But I'm not going to suggest it. My son has to come to that conclusion on his own. Update 2, hello. So after the last update, a lot of people have accused me of being a nightmare of a mother-in-law. To these people, I just want to ask why. I mean, after the things that I said, I had kind of been expecting it.

Because even if you think your son should get a divorce, you should never really say it because then you immediately get branded as a bad mother-in-law who is obsessed with her son. But in my case, I really don't think that's the truth. I had given Janet and her children a chance to bond with us and build a relationship with us and maybe if they had tried to be nice to us, they would not be in this situation and at all today. But they didn't try to get along with us in the slightest and Janet went out of her way to avoid us. So why on earth would I be interested in building a relationship with a woman like this? I gave her a chance, but she didn't take it. If anything, that makes her a bad daughter-in-law.

And not only is she bad at that, but she's also a terrible wife because she went behind her husband's back and tried to jeopardize his relationship with his parents. If that doesn't ring any warning bells for you guys, I don't even know what to say. All I'm saying is, I don't think it's fair to call me names and accuse me of trying to ruin my son's relationship with his wife. I don't need to try and do anything. I think Janet is doing everything really well on her own. She has zero concern for his feelings and only cares about getting her kids

to be part of the inheritance when we pass on. And I think that's pretty insulting itself as well because my husband and I, with God's grace, are pretty healthy right now, and even so, she seems obsessed with getting our wills changed according to her demands. Anyway, my point is that my son can do better and I am not going to feel sorry for saying it because my husband and I have raised our son with a lot of love and care and it really hurts us to see him get treated this way and constantly feel like crap about it. In the last few weeks, I can't even remember a single time that he came over to visit us and the kids

and he was actually happy. He has been really down in the dumps ever since the fight. but he is still trying to make it work. There is no way I'm the bad guy for saying that he deserves better because he really does. Things are still not going well between them. And the last time that our son came over to visit, three days ago, he finally said that he might start thinking about getting a divorce because he is finding it impossible to continue living with Janet. She is making it impossible for him, I would say.

His kids are still living with us and have been going to school from our house, so the commute is a bit longer than usual, but they are okay with it because they know what their father is going through. We are trying our best to keep everyone happy, but it's becoming really difficult because if our son isn't happy, there's very little we can do to make his kids happy. And we are very close-knit as a family. Say something is affecting one of us. It's eventually going to affect all of us and that's what's happening right now. None of us are finding it easy to be happy or put on a brave face right now because we know that there is a chance

that this might end up becoming really ugly in the event of a divorce, but we are trying our best to be brave and strong for our son, including his kids. We know that we are the source of each other's strength and right now, he needs us so we can't fall weak. But at least he is not going out of his way anymore for Janet and is facing the facts.

He told us that Janet has been refusing to even talk to him for the last couple of days, saying that she's not going to say a word to him unless he decides to cut us off or he convinces us to include her children and consider them for the inheritance as well. The latter is obviously not going to happen and even my son knows it. At least not at this point, earlier I might have even considered it, but what she has done is just not okay. We are trying our best to be supportive, but honestly, my husband and I just want our son to file for a divorce already. He doesn't need to put up with all of this because even though he loves Janet,

she has made it very clear that she has different priorities. So the fact that he has said the words that he wants to file for divorce and has been thinking about it is a big deal for us because it means that he is finally coming to terms with the fact that this marriage is going to end. Hopefully, this is going to end well, because so far, we know that Janet is capable of being extremely selfish, and we just hope that she doesn't try to screw our son over. Update 3, Hello, Guys. It's been almost three weeks since my son. first started fighting with Janet and a couple of days ago, he finally came to us and told us that

he was filing for divorce, and he had already spoken to his lawyer about it. He had filed for divorce a couple of days ago and Janet was served today. Our son moved in with us and the kids, and we have all been living together in our house ever since he filed for divorce because the house that he and Janet used to live in is a joint asset and he doesn't want to stay there, at least not until it is legally his. Honestly, my husband and I are really happy about it because it means that all of us are together under the same roof and as long as we are together, we can get through this. Our son also seems a lot happier now that he is living with us and we actually think that this might be a huge improvement for him. At least, he won't be spiraling into a depression because we will be

here to help him out. Janet was awfully furious that our son had even dared to imagine getting divorced and has been calling him nonstop, trying to get to him, but he has muted all her notifications because he just doesn't want to talk to her, which I think is a good thing. He knows that he is in a very vulnerable state right now and if Janet tries to manipulate him, it will be very easy for her, because he still has feelings for her and she's definitely going to try and take advantage of it. So it's better to just stay out of her way and let her try to talk to him without any response. Eventually, she's just going to give up and we know that this is over. Anyway, she's just trying to revive it because she never thought that he would leave her over this.

I guess she was a little too overconfident and hadn't actually thought anything through. I'm pretty sure that she is used to getting her way, but I'm glad that my son has a spine and stood up for himself. Now, whatever happens, I know that my son is strong enough to get through all of this, and we are going to make it easier for him by being there for him to the best of our capacity. All we wanted for him was to be happy and now, we are going to make sure. that it happens. He has gone through enough, and Janet has put him through enough, no more. Right now, it's just us and our grandkids and it's going to be a little difficult to get through the divorce, but I'm hopeful for the future and I don't know, I just feel optimistic about everything right now. I hope you enjoy this story. Child openly criticized me after supporting my former partner

and the divorce and cutting ties with me. Many years later, she attempted to disrupt my wedding and is currently demanding an apology. I, 45F, got married for a second time a week ago to James, 39M. He and I have been together for the past four years after we met through some common friends and after living together for almost two years, we finally decided to make it official. But my wedding was almost ruined by my daughter and James had to kick her out to prevent her from causing a scene at the wedding. And now everybody is blaming me and accusing me of having failed as a mother because she was really upset at being kicked out. My daughter April, 19F, wasn't even invited to the wedding and I know it sounds bad but I had valid reasons for not inviting her. She and I had no

contact a couple of years ago because she had taken her dad's side in the divorce and had publicly insulted me. My ex-husband Donald, 47M, and I got divorced six years ago because we just weren't compatible anymore and I was sick of trying to make our marriage work. He and I got married really young when we were in our early 20s and had April shortly after. Things started changing and getting difficult for both of us once we had a daughter because now, there were several more expenses that we had to think of and Donald just wasn't taking his job seriously. It felt like he was never going to get promoted and I would have to continue doing everything for him. He was incompetent at all the household work and I could pretty much say the

same thing for anything to do with April. He was just lazy and it was like he wasn't even interested in stepping up and helping me out. I got tired of doing everything on my own and being with him was becoming exhausting for me, but I still pushed myself and tried to make that marriage work for several years. I had fallen out of love with him way before I even filed for divorce, but I was trying to make it work for the sake of our daughter. Unfortunately, even April was becoming like a miniature version of my ex-husband

and expected me to constantly run after her and do everything for her. It was really difficult for me to deal with both of them since I was not only working in the office, but I didn't get a moment to myself even after I came back home and they would make me do even the most basic of tasks for them. And the worst part was that they were never even grateful for any of it and practically treated me like a maid around the house. I just got sick of it one day and I decided to move out without telling anyone and then I filed for divorce. My parents and a couple of my friends were really supportive so I didn't have to worry about where I would live or even about finding a lawyer. Donald tried to get me to come back.

when he was served with the divorce papers and said that he would change but it was too little and too late for me. So I rejected that and said that I was going through with the divorce and he couldn't change my mind. He tried many times to win me over and get me back but when, even after almost a week and a half, I still hadn't changed my mind. He changed gears and told me that he was going to make sure that I regretted the divorce. He hired one of the best divorce attorneys with the help of his father, who was paying for everything, and decided to file for full custody of April and tried his very best to make sure that I didn't get much from the divorce. His lawyer was ruthless and it was a really long and difficult process for me personally. Because they were dragging my name through the mud and I

just didn't stand a chance since they had manipulated all the facts and made me seem like an unstable and selfish person. Worst of all, they had portrayed me as a terrible mother and April had actually been part of it. She had made a very public post on social media during the divorce where she claimed that I was a bully and that I constantly kept picking on her. She said that I made her miserable and she wanted nothing to do with me after the divorce. She added that she wanted her dad to have custody and wished that I wouldn't even have visiting rights. That was pretty much the final nail in the coffin because if April herself didn't want to live with me, then there was no point of a mediator or any custody battle. She had made it very clear to the world that she preferred Donald over me and would

rather live with him. So the custody battle ended with Donald getting full custody of April and I got visiting rights, but they would have to be supervised. I did get the house and the divorce, but that was about it and it broke my heart because I had wanted my daughter to be on my side and to realize that her father was not the man that she imagined him to be. She was just 13, which is probably why she didn't understand that being the fun parent wasn't enough and that he was raising her to be just as lazy and incompetent as him. It would be cute for a while, just like it had worked out for Donald while we were in college. But that sort of behavior wouldn't fly when she was in the real world and didn't have her family to shield her from real life responsibilities and expectations.

It was devastating for me but I still tried to keep in touch with April, in spite of the things that she had said about me, because she was obviously being misled by Donald. Even during the divorce, before she made that post, I would often pick her up from school to spend time with her and she would try to convince me not to go through with the divorce. And I would try to tell her that I was just miserable in that marriage and it was better for all of us if her father and I separated. We would argue about it, but she would at least talk to me. In the weeks leading up to that post, she just cut me off, and even when I would try to pick her

up after school to hang out, she would blow me off to spend time with her friends or make up some excuse and avoid me. It was very clear to me that something had changed and it was Donald who had convinced her that I was the bad guy here. Nonetheless, I tried to keep in touch with her after the divorce, but she just wouldn't speak to me. And because Donald had full custody and I could only get supervised visits, he had a lot more control over her and made sure that I didn't get to see her more than once or twice in six months. I tried to reach out to her online but she blocked me there I even tried to renegotiate the custody terms, but my lawyer advised me against it because it was just too soon and they had already painted a very negative and unstable image of me.

I was also struggling at work so it was just not a good time for me and I made one of the most difficult decisions that I have ever had to make. I showed up at Donald's house unannounced one day and demanded to see April. I caused a racket when he said no and April came into the living room to check out what was going on. When I saw her, I asked her point blank if she wanted me as her mother or not. I didn't beat about the bush and I tried not to let any of my emotions show on my face. She thought about it for a while and then she told me that she didn't consider me her mother anymore because I had broken up their happy family because I was too selfish to think about her so now, she wanted nothing to do with me. I had already seen that coming but I just

wanted to hear it from her before I cut her out of my life. Just so I would at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried my best and wouldn't have any regrets in the future. Once April had made it clear to me that she didn't want me to reach out to her anymore, I stopped trying because I needed to get my life back on track. It was a really difficult call for me to make because I had to cut the most important person out of my life and it was devastating for me, but I powered through it somehow and threw myself into my work. I did keep tabs on April and I knew that she was doing well in school. I wanted to reach out tomorrow a couple of times, but I held myself.

back because I felt like if she wanted to talk to me and make things right with me, then she would have to take the first step. Because now that I was older and had already gone through so much, I was too fragile to handle another heartbreak at the hands of my own daughter. So I didn't talk to her for years after the divorce, which is why I didn't even consider inviting her to my wedding. For starters, I didn't even think that she would want to be invited because if somebody doesn't reach out to you after almost six years, then it probably doesn't even occur to you that this person might want to reconnect. So when the invitations were sent out, I didn't include my daughter on the list because we hadn't spoken for a really long time and I didn't want to get insulted once again. But somehow,

she managed to find the details of my wedding, probably from some loose-lipped relatives, and then showed up on the day of my wedding. I got really lucky because by the time she turned up, James and I were already done with the ceremony and we were just about to have our first dance as a married couple. We had a really great security team because they knew better than to bother us while we were in the middle of something. Instead, they waited until they knew for a fact that we were done with our first dance and then they summoned us outside to ask if April was wanted at the wedding or not. Apparently, they had caught her trying to sneak inside the venue after they had denied her entry the first time. April looked furious and demanded that I let her in because

after all, she was my daughter and she deserved to be at my wedding. Honestly, I was so shocked to see her that my brain just stopped functioning and I couldn't come up with anything to say to her because this was the first time that I was seeing her as an adult. Seeing how shaken up I was by April's arrival, my husband decided to take over and told the security team to take her away because she wasn't on the guest list and our wedding was no place for her if she wasn't invited. So they escorted a kicking and screaming April out. James and I spent some time alone. on the bench outside so that I could process what happened since I was really shocked. I absolutely hadn't been expecting April to show up at any point because she had never expressed

any interest in my life ever since the divorce. It took me a while to realize that this was my wedding day and it was about me and James, so it was okay for me to want to celebrate this without making this day about anybody else. After I had pulled myself together, we decided to rejoin all our guests and take my mind off April and her sudden reappearance. We had to have to be able to I had a really fun day and by the end of it, I had almost forgotten that April had even showed up at the wedding. But I was reminded of it the very next day when Donald called me for the first time after the divorce to berate me about what my husband had done. He was really pissed off because he believed that James had no right to have her kicked out, especially when this was my wedding that April wanted to attend. He told me that April had showed up at the wedding so she could extend an olive branch and make peace with me but James had ruined it by having her escorted out.

Apparently, she had been really upset and humiliated by what we had done and Donald believed that I was responsible for it. So James and I owed her an apology. I told him that I wasn't going to apologize because that was my wedding day and if she wanted to really reach out to me and make things right with me than she should have done so before and I would have even invited her to the wedding. But the day of my wedding was supposed to be about me and James and I didn't think there was anything wrong with us kicking her out because we had several valid reasons to do that. The first one was that she had tried to sneak into the wedding and even when she was caught, she had a really nasty attitude and was acting as though she was entitled to attend a wedding that she hadn't been invited to instead of just apologizing and dealing with it nicely. So we knew that she hadn't changed since I had told James all about April and her behavior in the past.

I think he judged the situation correctly and made the right call by not letting her in. Also, James and I had planned for months to have a perfect wedding and the invitation had been sent out several weeks ago, so if she knew where to show up, I was assuming that she had known about the wedding for a really long time. If she had really and truly wanted to make comments with me, then she would have reached out before the day of the wedding instead of leaving it for the very last minute. That was just really suspicious and it made us feel like she had just been looking for an opportunity to sneak into the wedding and ruin it. And that's why James had not let her in he had to make that decision on his own. I thought that these were all valid reasons and told Donald that April would just have to

deal with her disappointment. He didn't take that well and accused me of being a failure of a mother. So I reminded him that I hadn't been her mother for the past six years, thanks to the custody arrangement that they had asked for. I also reminded him that April was the one who had said that I wasn't her mother and that's the reason why I'd even cut her off. He was the one who had turned her against me, so now he had no right to be mad about the fact that she and I didn't share a relationship of any sort. He got annoyed and hung up on me when I said that and I thought it was over but then he got more of his family members to contact me and tell me that I was being a terrible mother. He, along with his entire family, is now accusing me of failing to understand my daughter's feelings and it's getting to me.

James doesn't think that we did anything wrong but I have started to feel differently and it's messing with my head. I'd offer letting my husband kick my daughter from my previous marriage out of our wedding because she showed up uninvited. Update one, hi, so James and I would just like to thank everybody who commented on my original post and made sure that we knew that we were not in the wrong. We have since blocked Donald and everybody who was texting me because I don't need the kind of negative energy in my life and I don't need to question myself when it comes to my daughter. Honestly, my only regret is that I didn't block Donald a really long time ago. The only reason I didn't do that was that I had always expected that at some point, he would reach out to me and tell me that April wanted to speak to me.

And well, I guess it kind of happened but not the way I had expected it would happen. Either way, I don't think that I'm a bad mother because I just decided to put myself first for one day. And it was my wedding day, mind you. It was supposed to be special for me. If April and Donald don't understand that, then well, tough. Because I'm not going to be apologizing to either of them for sure. Now that that's out of the way, I would also just like to touch upon certain things that people had said in the comments of the original post. A couple of people had accused me of abandoning my first.

daughter in the comments and I would just like to say that I had really fought hard to get custody of April. I think I made it very clear that even after the court order that April was going to stay with her father and I would only get supervised visits, I still tried to see her and get the order reversed. I did everything in my power to have a relationship with April, but she was the one who rejected me, not just once, but every single time. And I really don't know what anybody else in my position would have done. I didn't abandon her because she was living with Donald and she was quite happy without me for the last couple of years. That was very obvious. If she had wanted me in her life, then she could have reached out to me any time and I would have gladly accepted her back

into my life, but the truth of the matter was that she didn't want me back. So she didn't reach out to me and I know that I'm her mother that should always forgive my daughter, even if she doesn't ask for forgiveness. But I'm also human. So I hope that clears things up because I would hate for anybody to think that I abandoned my daughter. Update 2. So it's been a week since I got married and April reached out to me today, but unfortunately it was not a nice conversation that we had.

She texted me in the afternoon and told me that she wanted to speak to me in person but I was at work, so I told her that I could speak to her once I got off work. And that was enough to make her snap at me. She accused me of not caring about anything apart from my work and myself, which is why I had cut her out of my life in the first place

and let her grow up without a mother for all these years. She told me that she had been waiting for me to reach out to her and tell her that I loved her, but it never happened. And even when she decided that she was going to make my wedding day a bit more special as a gesture of peace, I rejected that and let my husband kick her out. She told me that she had expected me to at least apologize to her the day after the wedding and accept that I had made a mistake by kicking her out,

but even that didn't happen and instead, I doubled down and tried to justify my behavior to Donald and the rest of her family. She ended her rant by telling me that she was disappointed by the way that I was treating her as if she wasn't even my daughter. That remark really got to me because, for years, I had been fighting for her to be with me. And I knew that Donald was the one who had alienated her from me so he was the one to blame, but even after she grew up, she didn't think that she owed me an apology. So I kind of lost my cool with her and told her that I had no regrets about what I had done because I didn't trust her anymore after that scathing and untrue post that she had. made against me during the divorce. I had worked hard to salvage my marriage and build a relationship with April when she was younger but Donald spoiled all of it. And in spite of knowing the truth,

she decided to go ahead and make that post against me so she could take her dad's side. That had broken my heart but I had still persisted and tried to forgive her because she was just a child and she didn't know what she was doing. So I kept trying to reestablish my relationship with her but she didn't want it and turned me away by telling me that I was not even her mother anymore. I reminded her of that incident and told her how much it had hurt and how depressed I was after that, but she had no idea about it because she just didn't care about her mother's feelings. In all these years, she hadn't even bothered to contact me even once and I couldn't forget that. Even on the day of my wedding, she showed up and made that day all about herself without bothering to

think about how it would make me feel. I told her that if she had truly wanted to reconnect with me, and she had the opportunity to do so before, but she chose the day of my wedding because she didn't even think about how I would take it. I told her she had grown up to be just as selfish and entitled as her father, and I wasn't going to speak to her until she decided to change.

Because I was done dealing with the two of them. I had divorced Donald several years ago already, but I had still been willing to hold out hope that April wouldn't turn out to be like her father. Clearly, I had been wrong and she was just like him. I told her she could reach out to me once she was ready to apologize, but until then, I had nothing to say to her and I didn't want to hear from her. I didn't give her a chance to continue the argument and disconnected the call immediately

after I was done speaking. It didn't feel as good as I thought it would and I almost called her back to take back everything that I had said. Because even though we were fighting, it felt nice since at least now she was talking to me and not pretending that I didn't even exist. It's weird but that's how it is. Update 3 A couple of days have passed since April last called me. Honestly, I had expected her to reach out to me sooner, but it hasn't happened yet. I am a little disappointed that she hasn't contacted me yet, but there's not much that I can do. So I'm just trying to manage my disappointment by spending more time with James and planning our honeymoon,

which we are supposed to leave for in a couple of days. James thinks that if we are meant to work things out then April will reach out to me before that. So I really am keeping my fingers crossed and hoping that she calls me before the honeymoon begins. But Donald has tried to reach out to me and obviously, whenever he tries to talk to me, it's never good news. He showed up at my office the day after I spoke to April on the phone, but I refused to speak to him. So instead of leaving like a normal human being, he decided to shout and tell me that I needed med to cut ties with April instead of trying to manipulate her into going against him.

He also told me that the reason that she was just like him was because he was the one who had raised her while I was off romancing other men. That was way out of line and he had no right to say that so I turned around at that point and told him that I would call the cops and report him for stalking if he ever showed up anywhere near me again. I was sick of him thinking that he could say whatever he wanted and get away with it and I wanted to scare him bad enough for him to stay away from me since I'd had enough of his BS. So I told him that I would call the cops if he didn't leave and he thought that I was blood. until I brought out my phone and told him that I had already dialed the numbers. All I had to do was make the call and he would be in really big trouble. I could see on his face that he didn't want to leave because he didn't want to appear weak, but after weighing the odds in his head, he decided to get into his car and drive away.

Good for him, honestly, because I really would have called the cops if he didn't leave me alone. When I told James about it, he suggested getting a protective order against him and I'd love to, but I don't know if we have grounds for it just yet. We have spoken to a lawyer just in case we need it in the future but right now, we're not doing anything because I don't think he poses an actual threat yet. He is weak and stupid and I'm not scared of him in the slightest, if I'm being honest. Update 4, hi, so there are just two days to go before James and I leave for our honeymoon and April finally got in touch with me today.

I honestly couldn't be happier about it because things walked out exactly as I had expected them to. Not only did she reach out to me, but she actually apologized to me this time and said that she had been a horrible person for the past six years. She acknowledged the fact that she had been her father's daughter all these years, but after speaking to me on the phone that day, she had done a considerable amount of soul-searching and realized that she had made a mistake. She had tried to speak to Donald about it, but his reaction just proved what she had been

afraid of, that he had been misleading her all along and alienating her from me for his own gain because he wanted to get back at me for the divorce. They got into a big fight on the day of our phone call in the evening, and I suppose that's why Donald showed up at my office the next day to berate me. But after that, April had been thinking about the way that she had been behaving with me and figured out that the way that I had reacted to her showing up at my wedding had been completely normal. Because I obviously didn't trust her the way that I used to and she had nobody else to blame

for it but herself because she hadn't even apologized to me. She had realized that she made a terrible mistake, so now she wanted to set things right with me and make sure that she didn't. didn't waste any more of the time that we had together. It was a really emotional conversation and we decided to meet each other in person tomorrow and she even told me to bring James along because she felt like she owed him an apology as well. So we're getting together for lunch tomorrow and I really hope that it goes well. Update 5. So James and I just returned from our lunch with April an hour ago and it was surreal.

Because it felt like we were finally catching up on the time that we had lost and I had never even thought that this could happen. It was kind of emotional in the beginning and then after the apologies and stuff were out of the way, we started speaking to each other about everything that had been happening in our lives. It was quite fun to hear her talk about her time in college and then we shared the story of how James and I had met. We actually had a really nice time and we have decided that we are going to meet for either lunch or coffee once a week at the very least, along with therapy. This is going to be quite a shock for Donald but April told me she doesn't care about it anymore. And I'm really looking forward to fixing our relationship. I hope you enjoy this

story. My sibling referred to my child as an error during her celebration for the impending birth of her child, so I disclosed that she is in fact our relative, and that she is the hidden child of my mother's former partner that my father was unaware of. About. My sister, Melissa, 28F, and I, 31F, already never had a very good relationship and we mostly just attended each other's events and stuff for the sake of appearances. But at her baby shower recently, she made a very horrible remark about my son and I ended up spilling the beans on her and basically just revealed that she's not even family. This is something that I had known for many years and it finally came out and now, things are going really badly for my family and they're blaming me for

it. I don't think that it's fair for them to do that, especially when they have never stood up for me when they had to. I have been used to her sly gibes and stuff about my marriage for quite some time now and usually, I just ignore it because I know that she's doing it for attention and I don't want to give her the satisfaction of getting a response out of me. But recently, she dragged my son into it, and that was the last straw. For context, I have a three-year-old son with my husband, but we got married just last year. And I don't think it's as problematic or shameful as she makes it out to be either because I think we made a good decision since my husband and I had only been together for six or seven months when I conceived my son. We were not ready to get married at the time,

so we decided to take it slow, and instead of getting married because I was pregnant, we decided to continue seeing each other and take things at our own pace. Things worked out well because even after I found out about the pregnancy, we kept getting to know each other better, and then, after my son was born, he moved in with us. Then, after having stayed together for quite a while, we decided to get married last year. I don't know how this is any of her concern, but she just likes to make comments about this and make me out to be some sort of a moral or unethical person just because I had a child out of wedlock which is such an outdated idea that I don't even feel the need to dignify it with a response.

It's not like I couldn't have said anything if I wanted to because trust me, if she had as to how she became a part of the family, she never would have had the audacity to talk to me that way. But unfortunately, I never spoke up about it because I did not want to hurt my mom. I accidentally found out some things a couple of years ago, but by then, my parents were happy, and Melissa had already been a part of our family for her entire life, and my mom literally went down on her knees and begged me not to spill the beans on her big secret. So out of respect for her, I didn't say anything for a very long time but this time, at the baby shower, I just couldn't hold back anymore.

Before getting into Melissa and her thing, I feel like I have to mention what happened at the baby shower. So once everyone had arrived and we were all talking and stuff, Melissa stood very close to me with a group of her friends and started talking real loud. She was telling them about how she had known her husband for three years before she got married to him and they waited for two years before they decided to get pregnant. After explaining the timeline to them,

she started telling them that she had planned her future with her husband very carefully because she wanted to make sure that everything was on track and they did not have any surprises. Because the last thing that she wanted was for her first child to be a mistake, since that would really derail her plans and she didn't want to end up like a certain somebody. I guess it's easy to understand why it was the last straw for me because before this, at least she had the decency to keep her insults very tame and it was very easy for me to ignore them. But this one was not like that, this time, what you should have. she said was very disgusting and the implication that my son had been a mistake who had derailed my

life, I did not like it. Besides, my husband and my son were right there beside me and they had heard everything as well, which really upset me even more. So I just snapped and addressed her directly and then I told her that she wouldn't be talking so much if she knew about her own story and then just got into it before my mom could stop me. Very frankly, I wasn't even thinking about how this would reflect on my mom because for so many years, even though I had kept a secret to myself, she had never stood up for me or told Melissa to cut it out. So I just went ahead full throttle and that's how everybody found out that Melissa isn't actually my sister. She's my cousin and my mom adopted her when she was six months old. And I don't think that the guests would have found that

so scandalous if that was the worst of it, but unfortunately, there was more. My aunt being Melissa's real biological mother was still fine, but it was the identity of the father that really had people shocked. Melissa's dad, and a huge part of the reason my mom adopted her, was my mom's ex-boyfriend from high school and the only man she had dated before she met my dad. The cherry on top was the fact that my mom had basically manipulated my father into adopting Melissa by telling him that her sister was just 22 and she was not ready to take on the responsibility of being a mother. So she made it seem like she was doing something very kind and that's how they ended up adopting Melissa. But the darker truth was that my mom just wanted an excuse to stay in touch with her ex and up until

a couple of years back. I know for a fact that she was still in touch with him about this. I don't want to get into the details of it, but basically, my mom and her ex broke up after high school, and then, in college, she met my dad and started dating him and after graduation, she got married to him. but I guess they were never really able to get over each other and soon enough, her ex hooked up with his sister which is messy as it is. I don't even know how that ended up happening, but that's none of my business. Anyway, they were involved with each other for a couple of months and that's how my aunt ended up pregnant with Melissa but she wasn't ready for a child, so she requested my mom to adopt the baby. The problem is that my mom pretty much already had her hands full with me because I was

three at the time, which is pretty young, and she wasn't ready for a second child. So that's when her ex decided to step in, he told her that it was his baby and he requested her and then she finally gave in. She somehow convinced my dad to adopt Melissa and that's how she became a part of the family. Obviously, I don't really remember any of this because like I said, I was just three years old back then so even I had no clue that Melissa was not my biological sister, she had been adopted. We were both raised to believe that we were bio-sisters and after my aunt passed away in a car accident three years after Melissa was born, there was nobody to contradict our parents either. So we grew up believing that she was my sister until my mom accidentally left her phone

unlocked a couple of years back and I ended up reading a few of her messages while she was talking to her ex. Back then, I did not know that it was her ex. I just knew that it was some guy asking about Melissa, talking about how much his daughter had grown up and trying to grab lunch with my mom and also telling her to bring Melissa with her because he believed that it was finally time for her to find out the truth. My mom hadn't replied, but I scrolled up and I saw that she had been in touch with this guy for a while and I found it very suspicious. So I confronted her about it and that's how the entire

story came out. My dad was obviously aware of the fact that Melissa was his sister-in-law's daughter, not his wife's, but she had been very clever and excluded the fact that it was actually her ex's daughter as well. The two sisters had told my dad that some random guy she had a one-night stand with was actually the father of the baby, and that didn't raise any alarms with my dad, so he was blissfully unaware of everything until I brought it up at the baby shower. This shocked Melissa, and to top it off, I decided to taunt her about how she had made an even bigger mistake than my son, so she should probably look into her own life story first. It was intentional, I won't lie, and I knew that it was going to cause a lot of trouble for

everyone in my family, but I honestly couldn't care less about it. And right now, Melissa is not talking to my parents and has even rescinded their invitation to the wedding. Back when I left the baby shower, she looked pretty furious and she was having a hysterical temper tantrum, so this isn't surprising. However, I really didn't see my parents' divorce coming because apparently, after the baby shower, my mom and my dad got into a really big fight at the baby shower itself about the whole thing with her ex. Because of course, he had no clue about that detail, and for the past couple of years, even after I had found out about it, I hadn't breathed a word of it because my mom had promised me that she had nothing going on with him. She even told me that the only reason she had responded

to him recently was because he had been pestering her for months about Melissa and being a parent herself, she didn't think it was right to continue ignoring him. Apart from that, she told me that whatever feelings she had had for him at the beginning of her marriage, were gone, and now, all she loved and valued was my dad. So for the sake of that, I kept her secret, but now, I don't think that I should care because clearly, they didn't care about me, which is why they never stood up for me when Melissa was blatantly insulting and humiliating in public. Part of it is my fault, too, I never stood up for myself either, but that's just because I did not want to create any drama and embarrass my family. I knew that at the end of the day,

they were going to try and blame me, which is why my mom is going out of her way right now to pin everything on me. She's been sending me text after text, telling me that I've ruined everything for her, because her daughter isn't speaking to her and her husband has moved out and is demanding a divorce, all because she tried to do something good for her sister and she's claiming that my little ego-driven outburst ruined everything. Believe it or not, I do feel a little guilty because it's true that her life is pretty much in shambles right now and that's just because I lost my temper. Of course, none of my friends or my husband thinks that I did anything wrong, but still, I feel like I need to get a second opinion. Ida for revealing my mom's secrets and ruining her life out of anger?

Edit, guys, I'm not really sure about what exactly went wrong with my mom's relationship, and I also didn't think it was relevant in the context of the story, so I didn't include it. But anyway, this is what she told me, she said that she had to break up with her ex because they couldn't do the whole distance thing and they were going to different colleges after high school. After she met my dad, she really liked him, but she still had feelings for her ex so things were a bit complicated. Eventually, she chose my dad because she thought that he could provide a more stable lifestyle compared to her ex, who was more on the party animal side of things.

And from what my mom told me, it was apparently at some party that her ex bumped into my sister and they ended up hooking up. Of course, she was not happy about it in the beginning and that's why she was very hesitant to adopt their daughter, but even after she got married, she felt like she still had some lingering feelings for her ex. Which is why he was able to convince her to adopt Melissa, but she knew that my dad wouldn't like it if he got to find out about it so she kept that a secret from him. Now this is whatever my mom had told me when I confronted her about the messages. But you guys can take it with a pinch of salt because things might have been different.

It's just that I don't know anybody else who would be able to tell me the truth so my mom's word is all that I have to go on right now. Anyway, since a lot of you have been asking about what exactly went on with my mom, dad, her sister and her ex. This is basically the gist of whatever she told me. Update 1. Hi, thanks for the comments and stuff. I really needed to hear that because I had been feeling very guilty about whatever was going

on with my mom, but now I don't, not so much. It's been a week since the baby shower and my sister is still not speaking to anyone from the family but they only have themselves to blame for that. My parents are both upset with me, but mostly my mom, because a couple of days ago, my dad finally sent over the divorce papers. She's been living separately ever since they fought at the baby shower, and until recently, I hadn't blocked my mother,

so she had kept messaging me and telling me that she blames me for everything that I had ruined her life. I don't know what she was expecting me to do. It's not like I can take back everything that I had said at the baby shower, and all of a sudden, people would start pretending like everything was normal. Blaming me was only a waste of time for her, but I guess she just needed a place to vent, so she kept accusing me of ruining everything for her. Anyway, I had been feeling bad and a little confused, so I hadn't been able to block her

but then, after reading the comments here, and after speaking to everybody who loves me, I realized that I was doing the right thing. I had no reason to keep her secrets, especially when she never stood up for me, so she could be as mad as she wanted to, it hardly makes a difference to me anymore. I'm done covering up for her, and I don't care what happens with the family anymore. I don't have anything to do with them, they have never supported me in anything and I'm just done. From now on, I'm just going to keep focusing on my family, my husband, and my son, and that's it. Update 2. So it's been two weeks since the baby shower and my dad finally reached out to me today.

Up until recently, he hadn't spoken to me directly, but I knew that he was also blaming me for everything that was going wrong. Thanks to a bunch of his relatives, who had texted me to let me know that they had felt very disappointed by my behavior and they didn't think that I was the kind of person who would cover up for my mom, especially regarding something so serious. So I knew that he had been bad-mouthing me as well, even though he hadn't exactly come out and said it to me directly like my mom had. That's why when he reached out to me, I had.

literally no interest in speaking to him. But he just kept calling me, from other numbers when I blocked his number, and after a while, I was forced to pick up the call since I knew that he was not going to let this go. When I answered, he told me that after everything that I had done, the least I could do was answer his phone calls and be civil to him. He said that he did not expect an apology from me because after all, I was my mom's daughter, but he still expected me to allow him to see his grandson. And under ordinary circumstances, I might have even agreed with him, just for the sake of it, but his tone was so nasty that instantly told him that I was not going to let my son see anybody from this family because pretty much everyone was just spineless and stupid.

For so long, they had never liked me, and now they expected me to be the perfect daughter for them. No chance of that happening, and I told him that I did not want anything to do with him anymore. Before he had the chance to argue with me, I just hung up the phone quickly. But when I got home, I saw that my dad was out there, waiting for me. I had picked up my son from my mother-in-law's place since she is the one who takes care of him while my husband and I are away at work, so since my son was with me, I did not want to get into any dramatic situation or worse, a fight with my dad. Because my son obviously has no idea about all of the drama going on behind his back, he still loves his grandparents

and he was very happy to see his grandpa after a long time. He literally ran toward him. He literally ran toward him and my dad picked him up and they played for a while we were standing outside my house since I had no idea what to do. It was a pretty awkward situation because I myself had no interest in speaking to my father or interacting with him in any way whatsoever, but it was clear that my son did not feel the same way. Anyway, after a couple of minutes, I unlocked the doors to the house and asked my son to go in and freshen up just so that I would have an excuse to speak to my dad in private. After my son left, I told my dad that my son was playing nice because he was just a child and had no idea what was going on with the family, but I'm not a child anymore and everybody in the

family has really hurt me. So right now, I don't want to interact with anyone and I asked him to leave. He got really annoyed and told me that this behavior did not make any sense to him because as far as he is concerned, he was the man who had been betrayed the most, not only by his life, but also by me. So the least I could do was at least pretend to be apologetic, even if I didn't feel that way in real life. But the way I was acting, like I had nothing to be sorry about, it was making him question whether he and my mother had raised me correctly at all. I told him very clearly that if he felt betrayed, that's how I had been feeling for the past many years. So my behavior right now was just a culmination of those feelings and if he didn't approve of that, tough, because I had learned

to behave this way from my parents. All throughout the past couple of years, they had very expertly turned a blind eye to Melissa constantly humiliating me every chance that she got. And nobody had the audacity to say anything to her, but now, all of a sudden, just because I've spilled a few secrets of the family, I'm the villain. Mind you, this is a family that has never cared for me much. So why exactly am I supposed to care about them? Obviously, my dad did not have an answer to these questions. He was stumped and I just went on speaking. I explained to him exactly how upset I had been when Melissa had made that comment about my son at the baby shower, calling him a mistake, and even then, nobody had stood up for me or my son. So right now, the whole act that he was

putting up with really loving his grandson, I told him to just save it for somebody who would believe in it. I didn't doubt that my parents loved my son. Everyone did because he's just a kid and it's easy to love him. But at the end of today, I knew that the golden child's grandson would probably mean more to them than my son would after he was born. Besides, if the father could not even bring himself to defend or just speak up and say something at least when his dear grandson was being referred to as a mistake, then I don't think he had any business overstepping my boundaries and coming to visit his grandson when I had made it very clear that I did not approve of it right now. That's all that I had to say, and he didn't seem to have anything to say in response or in defense, so I just walked to the door. and shut it. I thought that he might try to come inside and meet my son again, but he didn't, and a couple of minutes later, when I looked through the window, he was gone. Later on, when my husband

came back home, I told him everything about my interaction with my dad and he told me that this had been a long time coming. My parents really loved to pretend like they have been heard in the situation, but in reality, day after day, and they have never cared about it. So this whole expectation from me, that I should always be good daughter and put my family before myself every single time, had been drilled into my head subconsciously, but I'm breaking out of it now. I've already dealt with my father and made it clear to him that I'm not interested in speaking to him anymore, and if my mom contacts me again, she'll be hearing the same. Though, for now, I think she's keeping her distance from me, probably because she's busy with divorce and everything at the moment. It has been close to one month

since I last spoke to anybody from my family, and that was my dad. I kind of told him off in my last update and since then, he has had the good sense to stay away from me. Melissa and I have obviously had no contact since the day of the baby shower and I don't think any of us are worse off for it. After I had blocked my mom, she kept her distance from me as well, but then, a couple of days ago, I started receiving messages from some anonymous accounts on Facebook and all of them were really hateful ones, telling me that I'm a horrible human being, absolutely worthless, and stuff like that. Initially, it was a bit off-putting and I thought it was somebody playing a prank on me, but I know that none of my friends have such a terrible sense of humor. At first, it did not even occur to me that

it might have been my mom because it seemed like a really far-fetched possibility. But right now? I don't think that it's so far-fetched because last night, my husband told me that he had been receiving messages like that all day from the same accounts. The catch is that he hadn't been receiving those same messages. Nobody was insulting him, but basically, he was being told terrible things about me. In fact, my mom had even taken it up a notch and had been telling my husband that I'm a cheater, I sleep around and whatnot. Obviously, none of it is true. She was just saying it to get under our skin, but as soon as we figured out that it might have been my mom, we just started thinking of the whole thing is something really pathetic and it makes me feel ashamed that I'm even

associated with this woman. This is my mom that we're talking about, she is in her 50s, for crying out loud, and this is not the kind of thing that she should be getting up to right now. And for what? Just because she hates me for spilling her secrets? It's just sad and pathetic and it really goes to show that I didn't do anything wrong by telling everybody her reality. I don't even understand what she hopes to get from this, she's just being hateful for no reason and this is a waste of her time and energy. If we want to, we can report her and put an end to this, but honestly, that will be a waste of our time and energy because we really don't care. This reflects badly on her, it has nothing to do with us. I can tell that she has taken

everything that has been happening really hard because this is some juvenile crap that she's pulling off and I wish I could say I was upset with her or angry about this, but I just feel bad for her because I can't believe that this is what my mom has been reduced to right now. Update 4, hi, so it's been a couple of months since my last update, and today, I heard from an aunt of mine that my parents finalized their divorce last week. I was attending an engagement party and this was one of the first family events that I had attended ever since the baby shower, so I was kind of skeptical about going because I thought I might see my parents there, or worse, I might see Melissa. But I had to attend, I couldn't just skip it like every other event,

for the past couple of months, because it's my cousin who got engaged and she and I are kind of close. So she insisted that I come by and I agreed to drop in, but when my aunt told me that neither of my parents were attending and Melissa had already declined the invitation, I stayed for longer and she ended up telling me a lot of things about my family. I've not been in touch with them for a very long time, so I had no idea that the divorce had already been finalized. I feel kind of bad for them, but well, I knew this was coming. After my last update, where my mom had been sending me and my husband anonymous messages on Facebook to get on our nerves, we just ignored her for a couple of weeks and she stopped on her own.

My dad did try to get in touch with me a couple of times, telling me that he really wanted to see his grandson, but I did not reply. I didn't have anything to say to these people anymore, so I've just completely cut them out of my life. My aunt told me that she hasn't spoken to my mom in a very long time and since she is from my dad's side of the family, she doesn't really know what she has been up to, but she knows that my dad really misses me and even more than me. He misses his grandson. I felt kind of bad about that, so I feel like I might let him come see my son in a couple of days. Not because I want to fix things with him, but because I know that my son misses his grandpa as well. Out of all his grandparents, he got along with his grandpa and he's been asking about him a lot.

I guess I can put my anger aside for his sake now, at least. I hope you enjoy this story. Envious mother replaced my marriage blooms to provoke my sensitivities. She then attempted to woo my future spouse while I was in the hospital. Consequently, I severed ties with both of my guardians. I, 23F, have been with my husband, 29M, for three years and we were supposed to get married a few days back. It didn't happen the way I wanted it to because my psycho mom pulled some really messed up crap which ended up sending me to the hospital with a crazy allergic reaction.

She swapped out my floral arrangement of only orchids and peonies for a bunch of daisies, dalyas, and irises. I have a severe pollen allergy and also asthma so it's really bad for me to be around pollen heavy flowers which all of the ones I mentioned above are. And the wedding venue was loaded with those flowers which drove me nuts and triggered an asthma attack so bad that I had to go to the ER, all thanks to my mom. For context, my mother, 44F, and I don't get along, as you all might have concluded by now. Growing up, my parents lived separately for a while and I got used to that. They had a lot of differences back then, so they separated

when I was seven, but they ended up getting back together when I was 15 or so. Just so were clear, my parents were never divorced and were still married on paper, but they lived separately and lived separately lives. I visited my mother every other weekend, but she'd never have time to spare for me and I'd end up spending most of my time by myself in my room at her place. So that was my relationship with my mom and it was strained at best, but we were on okay terms. She did see other men when she was separated from my dad, but I don't know if those guys knew about her marriage beforehand and I never asked. As far as my dad is concerned, he never brought home any women and even if he did see other women, I didn't get to know about it. They remained on good terms even while they were separated since they

parted mutually and so co-parented me to the best of their abilities. Or, well, at least my dad tried too. My mother wasn't very keen on parenting me at all. I'm over it, though, and I didn't try to reconnect with her or fix my relationship with her after I left for college because I got too busy. College is also where I met my husband and no, he wasn't a student there. I became friends. I became friends. with his sister during college and one year. I had to stay back during Thanksgiving since I couldn't fly back home due to a blizzard. My friend lived nearby,

so she decided to invite me to her house for Thanksgiving dinner, and that's where I met my husband for the first time. I was 19 at the time and he was 25, so I thought the age gap was a little weird, and I guess so did he, but neither of us did anything about it. But we did become friends and kept in touch. We'd speak to each other almost daily for a couple of months and even hung out a few times.

After that, there was just no denying that we had a thing but he was really shy and didn't ask me out so I decided to ask him out instead and it was really sweet. He ended up saying yes and we started dating. After I graduated, I moved in with him and about six months later, we decided that it was time to tell our families about us. I already knew his family and they seemed to like me. I was hesitant to introduce him to mine, though. I was cool with my dad but I didn't want to introduce him to my mom. because I just had a gut feeling that something would go wrong if I did. I didn't even know it back then, but yeah, I was right.

I did end up bringing him home to meet my parents during the holidays nevertheless, and back then, I believed that it had gone well. I didn't notice that my mother had been really quiet during the whole thing and had been actively avoiding looking at either of us. I was just glad she wasn't saying weird crap about me or making backhanded jokes about me like she usually does. He only met my family a couple of times after that and I didn't notice anything off at the time, so I had no idea about what my mother was thinking then. Seven months ago, my husband proposed and I said yes. My parents flew down here to be able to attend the wedding

four weeks ago as a surprise. I was happy about my dad being here but not too thrilled that my mom was here too because all she did was nitpick my choices and try to bring me down. I wanted to send her home without any reason, but I didn't because then my dad would leave with her and I didn't want that because then my wedding day would be really sad for me. My dad wasn't exactly aware of the cold war between my mother and me and I didn't want to tell him about it either because that would just lead to a load of unnecessary drama because he'd want me to confront the issue and try to sort it out with her, which I just really didn't want to do. So I put up with her just for my dad's sake, and in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have. For my own and my dad's sake. I'd finalize a

my florist and floral arrangements and decorations for the wedding about two months ago and incidentally, my mother found out from a list that I'd left on my desk that she happened to be friends with my florist. She'd been visiting my husband and me, which they'd been doing often ever since she and my dad came by, but I didn't think much of it. I just figured that they were visiting us almost every other day before the wedding because I'd been living away from home for a really long time and I guess that my dad just wanted to see me more often, which is why they were visiting us so much before the wedding. I didn't find out that it was actually my mother's idea until yesterday when I finally told my dad about my issues with my mother. Now, finally, it is the wedding day. Three days ago, I was

supposed to get married but like I already said, I ended up in the hospital because my mother had swapped the hypoallergenic flowers I'd picked for my wedding for a bunch of pollen heavy flowers. It triggered my asthma and I landed up in the hospital for the day, which obviously meant that I had to delay the wedding. It wasn't even just a couple of flowers, but the whole place was teeming with them, which is why it became incredibly difficult for me to even breathe there. My husband and I had visited the venue in the morning to check how the decorations were coming along, right before we went to our separate rooms in the hotel to get dressed, and they were still doing up the place, but they'd already made the floral arch and done the flowers, and I realized

instantly that these were not the ones that I'd approved. As soon as I went inside, I started sneezing and coughing like crazy and unfortunately, I'd forgotten my inhaler in the car so it just got worse by the time my husband arrived with it and I had to be driven to the ER because my lungs literally felt like they were closing in on themselves. I had only an hour to spare and the doctors said that I'd be fine

but I could not be back in the venue until it had been properly rid of all the flowers and traces of pollen which would definitely take a while. We had no time to waste since we were already running pretty late and I really didn't want to keep my guests waiting. So I sent my husband back to do it. with that while I stayed in the hospital, waiting for my lungs to feel normal. I drove myself to the hotel so I could sit in my room with my bridesmaids and get my makeup done at least because

I was already running an hour late for the wedding. I'd realized on my drive that there had been no news from my husband after he'd left so I tried to call him but he didn't answer and neither did any of my family. It was only while I was getting my makeup done that I received a call from my mother-in-law, telling me to come to her room immediately saying that there was a family emergency that I needed to deal with urgently. So I rushed to her room and found my husband, my dad, my mother, and my mother-in-law sitting in the room. Everyone with the exception of my mom looked really disturbed but she looked quite okay. There, I was told by my mother-in-law that while I was in the hospital. My mother had pulled my husband aside at the venue while they were

all trying to speed up the process of clearing out and cleaning the place to get rid of the pollen and tried to make a move on him. For a second, I couldn't even even. believe what my mother-in-law was telling me and I looked at my husband for confirmation. When he nodded, I realized that this wasn't just some massive prank on me and they were all actually serious about this. My mother-in-law continued speaking and told me that she'd caught her in the act and had actually overheard my mother talking to my husband. It still makes my skin crawl to even think about that and it's really difficult even typing it out for everyone to know, but I know I have to say it now. So my mother had told my husband that she'd always sense the tension between

them and now that I was finally out of the picture, they could now get together for real instead of trying to push their feelings down. My husband tried to get away, obviously, but my mother insisted that she knew they had a thing and didn't want to waste the potential of what could have been. Luckily, my mother-in-law was there and she confronted my mother and even dragged her away from her son. That ended with a nasty argument between my mother and my mother-in-law at the venue. That had gone on for a while, which is why nobody had answered my calls. My husband finally had the sense to suggest that everyone be brought to the hotel instead of creating a scene in public in front of all the staff at the venue, which is what they did. And now, they were here to

ask me what I wanted to do about this situation since it was our wedding. I didn't even think twice before telling my mother to get up, pack her bags, and leave right then. My mother didn't argue either and neither did she look back at my dad to ask him to come along, which was surprising because she literally just tried to cheat on him with her daughter's fiancé on her wedding day. I also realized that she must have spoken to my florist and changed the order for my wedding and the florist must have done it because they were friends. When I spoke to the vendor, she told me that she'd received a call from me a couple of weeks back with a request to change the order and a proper discussion about what I wanted, which is why she'd done so.

I'm guessing my mother must have gotten a hold of my phone and made the call while I wasn't in the room because I do have a tendency to forget things. And my voice is similar to hers. A lot of people get confused on the phone, including my dad. Anyway, my mother left and even though it was a really tense and awful morning, my husband and I did end up getting married. The ceremony started an hour later than it was supposed to and it was kind of embarrassing, but it was still beautiful. Even though there were absolutely zero flowers there, my husband had doubled up on the balloon last minute and made it livelier,

which was a genius move on his part, I just say. That was a couple of days back and I didn't address the thing about my mother for a while because as a newlywed, I just wanted to enjoy the first few days of my marriage instead of letting my mother's craziness ruin it for me. But yesterday, my dad finally visited and we talked about what happened. We hadn't spoken much after my mother left and I didn't have enough time to speak to him at the wedding, even though he did walk me down the aisle. He'd stayed here at the hotel but he's supposed to leave today, which is why he paid me a visit last evening. It was awkward but he did tell me that he hadn't spoken to my mother since she left and truly didn't know what to expect.

I told him all about the issues I had with her and he seemed really surprised because he had never picked up on any of it. It wasn't surprising because my dad had always been sort of oblivious when it came to social cues and stuff like that so I forgive him for never noticing the tension between my mother and me. However, I did tell him that I'd put up with her long enough for his sake only, and now, I wasn't ready to do that anymore. I know he loved her, but I wasn't going to sit around pretending that I was okay with it anymore and she'd already proven that she wasn't worthy of being with anyone, let alone my dad. So I gave him an ultimatum and told him that he could either divorce my mother and never see her again or else, I'd be the one going NC with him. He seemed kind of shocked because he clearly hadn't expected me to take this stance, but I couldn't stand my mother and I don't think anyone in my place would have done things differently. She'd sent me to the hospital on my wedding day just so she could make a move on my husband. I mean, if that's not truly psychotic, then I don't know what is.

My dad said that he needed to go back to the hotel and pack for his flight when I gave him the ultimatum and didn't give me a proper answer at the time and hasn't spoken to me since. My husband and his family don't think I've done anything wrong because what my mom did was way out of line. It was disgusting and repulsive and for my dad to even consider still staying with her after she tried to cheat on him with his son-in-law was just crazy. But I also don't want to lose my dad because he'd been my rock growing up and he's literally the only family that I have. So it'll be really bad for me if he chooses to cut me off and stay with my mom instead. I don't know if what I did was right and I don't know if it was my place to demand that my dad leave my mother because it is his life, after all. I could just stay in touch with him and not my mother, but I can't imagine that working.

I feel like I'm being too hard on him because he's just gone through something just as bad as me since it was his wife and the mother of his child who just tried to cheat on him so he doesn't have it any easier than I do. So I'd have forgiving my dad an ultimatum and asking him to pick between divorcing my mother or staying in touch with me? Update 1, hi, so I talked to my dad after almost a week and well, he's still on the fence. I went through the comments on my post and realized that most of you believe that I should cut ties with my dad as well and shouldn't wait for him to leave my mom. As much as I would have loved to do that because it would have been a lot easier than facing this emotional roller coaster, I can't because I love my dad. Like I said earlier, I want to put myself first and stop talking to him but my life would feel empty without him. I already practically don't have a mother because the one I do have, well, it's better to not

have one than have her as my mom. And my dad and I have been close ever since I was a child so it'll just be really difficult for me to cut him off and pretend to be okay with it. I wish I was as strong as everyone in the comments section is but I'm really not and things like these are just easier said than done, truth be told. There was also a particular section of people who believed that my husband had already cheated on me with my mother because of how comfortable she sounded while hitting on him and thought that he didn't reciprocate only because he knew his mother was around. Well, as charming as that theory is, I don't think that's true at all. My husband and I are quite serious about each other and are very much in love. So for him to think about another woman, let alone my mom, is just really unlikely. I know I sound like I'm exaggerating or bad.

bragging, but it's just a fact. My husband is very loyal to me and I don't appreciate the insinuation that he might have already been cheating on me, especially with my own mother. That's just disgusting. And since a lot of you asked why I hadn't called the cops on my mother when she triggered my allergies on purpose, the reason was that it was my wedding day and police at a wedding is hardly ideal. I was already running late and I just didn't want that extra hassle and drama so I told her to leave instead. She lives in a different state so it's very very unlikely that she'll be able to do anything to put me in harm's way after this, and if she does, I'll definitely call the cops because then I won't be worrying about my guests or the thousand

tasks I have to do before and after my ceremony. So yes, long story short, the reason I didn't call the police was because it was my wedding day. That was also the reason I let my florist off the hook because the goof-up actually wasn't her fault. She couldn't tell the difference between my mother's voice and mine which was an honest mistake and even after that, she did send me a text to confirm my order but I never opened it. She didn't ask me again either because she was busy with a lot of orders since she was handling a lot of weddings in a week. Like I said, I'm really forgetful and I guess that was kind of on me. She did give me a discounted rate though. As for my dad, I don't know what to say. I mean, he said that he's still thinking about what to do regarding the situation with my mother.

He said that she apologized to him and said that she just got a little carried away. I don't know how that's an adequate defense for anything at all but whatever, that's not even my concern. I don't care for her excuses but apparently, my dad does. He told me that they've gone back to living separately and he's been contemplating what to do next. I don't understand what exactly he's contemplating because I think there's a very clear and obvious solution to this problem. A divorce. That woman tried. tried to cheat on him, for the love of God. I'm not going to tell him what to do. It should be his decision. But whatever he chooses to do, he'll have to face the consequences of his actions,

and if he chooses to stay with my mom after what she did to me then he'll have to lose me. And that's for sure. Update 2. Okay, I get it. I read the comments and I understand that I can apply the same logic that I used to defend my decision of not cutting ties with my dad to the situation that he's in. I get the irony and I'm surprised I missed it the first time around. I guess I've been way too emotional and that's why I didn't even realize that I was doing the exact same thing that I was calling out my dad for, defending him and continuing to condone his messed up behavior but refusing to cut him off. I know now that there's not much to do but just to let this go. I can't continue to think emotionally and let my heart run the show if I want peace

of mind and even my husband agrees that I need to let my family go because the way they've been acting is nothing short of crazy. My mom's insane and my dad's no less because he's choosing to put up with that insanity quite willingly. He still hasn't been able to come to a decision about what he's going to do and it's been more than two weeks. I think I've given him enough time to think about his decision and if he still hasn't been able to come to a conclusion then I have my answer. If he's not strong-willed enough to let my mom go now, then I doubt he ever will be. But I know that I have to cut him off for my own sake and I'm going to do that now. Update three, I did it. I called my dad up and told him that I couldn't, for my own sake, have him as a part of my life anymore.

He was shocked when I said that and tried to tell me that he still hadn't reached a conclusion about what he wanted to do regarding the situation with my mom but I told him that the fact that he was stalling me for so long meant that he was still willing to give her a chance and I just couldn't accept that. He knew everything that my mother had done and despite that, he was inclined towards choosing her. Had it not been for my ultimatum, he probably would have gotten back together with her already and he didn't have a reply to that because he knew it was true. It was very difficult for me to bring myself to say it, but I did tell him that his parents, both of them had let me down. My mother had done something unforgivable and he was no better for letting her get away

with it without almost any consequences. I could tell that he had a lot of things that he wanted to say but he only said that he'd still be waiting for a text or a call from me whenever I was ready to forgive him, which meant that he was definitely going back to my mom. He said that he was sorry for whatever they'd put me through and hoped that I could forgive him someday, then disconnected the call. It was heartbreaking and I'm still not over it, but my husband is being really great, so I guess I'll come to terms with it soon enough. I just wish I'd called the cops on my mother that day and taught her a lesson, but I didn't, just to avoid the drama. I'm not going to say I regret it, but I'll definitely keep praying that something terrible happens to that woman.

She deserves the worst because she is the worst. My husband and I are supposed to leave for our honeymoon in a couple of days and I'm kind of sad right now, but I'm hoping that the trip will help me take my mind off of things. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse departed to support his lady confidant while I'm frightened to deliver unaccompanied following pregnancy losses. Subsequently discovered he was unfaithful and they've been in a relationship for a while. Months My husband has this best friend, Anna. They've been friends for a long time and dated years ago,

mutually deciding that it's best for them to remain friends. I've had no problem with this relationship until now. On the day that I gave birth, Anna's brother got into a car accident. My husband got a call from her in the middle of the night and asked him if he could drop her at the hospital her brother was at, an hour away from us, since she was too scared to drive. My husband agreed, told me quickly while I was half asleep and rushed out. A few hours later, I had contractions and called my husband.

He didn't pick up after multiple tries, so I gave up and called my dad, who drove me to the local hospital, 12 minutes away. I was so scared of giving birth alone since I've had about three miscarriages and one stillborn. My husband promised me that no matter what, he'd be there for me. Guess what? He wasn't. We called multiple times while I was in labor and when he finally picked up my dad's call when I was giving birth, saying that he'd misplaced his phone in the chaos. My dad informed him that no matter how fast he drives anymore, he's going to miss the birth of his child.

Well, my husband took that as he's already screwed up, so it doesn't matter when he shows up at this point. So when he finally came, our daughter was about five hours old and I'd already moved to the maternity ward. When he came, I refused to let him see our baby, edit, did let him. husband hold and play with baby after discharge, because I was so high on emotions and was shaking when I saw him and didn't want it negatively affect my time with the baby. I wanted her birth to be a happy time and I was already struggling to feed her. My husband was in a bad state and told me to please let him see her, so I told him to stand by the window and held the baby up so he could see her.

I told him to then leave and he'll be allowed to interact with the baby at my father's home when we're both well and out of the hospital and that I was most likely divorcing him. He started bawling and apologizing and defended himself by saying that Anna's brother was in serious critical condition and although he's fine, Anna needed him. Though Anna's parents were there, she's not that close with them and she was in an unbearable state. I told him that I didn't care and that his daughter has already come second to him and all she did was be born. I'm putting my daughters and my health first and won't let her be sidelined. My husband agreed and left. However, Anna called me later and said that I was being.

controlling and she'd never met someone as cruel as me for not letting a father see his baby. I told her that my husband made his decision and that this was his doing not mine. But now, I can't help feel cruel in my actions and feel like I'm depriving my baby of both her parents being together. My husband sees her a few hours each day now. Ida. Edit 1. I feel like this is useful information and could explain why I was so mad. Anna's brother was not in a life-slash-death situation. He had serious injuries, but most were concentrated on his legs and arm. He did have a concussion but gained consciousness soon.

Anna was there along with both her parents who managed all the hospital stuff. My husband was there as a emotional support for Anna. I did let my husband see our baby, right after I got discharged. Edit, husband saw a baby, husband held baby, husband. played with baby. I wanted a couple days of rest and bonding with the baby since my emotions were so high and I was afraid if my husband was a continuous presence, I'd get stressed and something bad would happen. I told him as such. They spend time together, but I'm still cold with him. I may still be the asshole, I don't know, but I'm still so mad at him and it's not the first time he put Anna

before me. I can forgive the other time since I could handle it, but this time was the straw. I was so scared to hold my baby because I was paranoid the minute I touch her, something would happen to her and no one was there to comfort me. I only had my dad but he wasn't in the delivery room, which is why I'm not too keen on forgiving my husband. Also, we both knew the baby was due any time now so I don't understand why my husband didn't have his phone on him. We even tried reaching out to Anna and she didn't pick up either. After he learned I was giving birth, they already knew that Anna's brother was going to be all right. He spent that time time making sure that Anna was okay and feeding her and then waiting for the brother to regain

consciousness. He could have come back after seeing his daughter to talk with the brother. He would have made it back in time. Edit 2. So many of you got it wrong. I'm not preventing him from ever seeing his baby, that is stupid and unreasonable. He literally saw her about a day later when we were discharged and safely at my dad's home. He already didn't see her for five hours on purpose and put Anna first, I didn't think an additional day would make much of a difference. And it wasn't to him, he was happy to see the baby and he spends time with her all the time. She's two months now. And also, I'm not mad about the fact he went to see Anna. I'm mad that he didn't think we were a high priority to rush back too. He left me so quickly

in the middle of the night when I was already late. He couldn't have left Anna in the care of her parents and rushed as soon as possible. She's not a child and she doesn't have any mental health issues either. Edit 3, so sorry for all the edits. But someone just messaged me this. What if my baby was born a stillborn again? He had no way to know since he and I didn't have any contact after I gave birth. Thank the stars, my baby is healthy and well, but it was a possibility. Comments, Queen underscore A. NTA let's ignore the fact that he ran to her rescue in the middle of the night while you were that far along in your pregnancy. Any decent husband would make sure to have his phone on him 24-7 when not at home with a wife about to give

birth. As soon as he found out you were in labor, he should have rushed to be with you. He chose Anna over you and your daughter. He missed the most important moment in your lives to be there for her. Then he called Anna to complain to her about you. I am not a jealous person, but there is no way I would tolerate his behavior and his obvious putting Anna before you. I would seriously be considering divorce as well. Marriage counseling at a bare minimum. I would also be concerned about his feelings slash relationship with Anna. underscore Jolana, I absolutely cannot get over him calling and complaining to Anna and telling her about this.

5115E.NTA all these excuses about his phone totally missed the point. He shouldn't have been running off to support Anna at all. She was supposed to be there to support her parents and brother. she didn't need your husband to support her. You had already suffered three miscarriages and your husband chose to prioritize Anna's over his actual wife. And then he decided that his screwing up by not being there for you was an excuse to just stay with Anna. Anna called me later and said that I was being controlling this really takes the cake. In what universe is it appropriate for her to call and scold you?

The fact that she felt it was okay for her to get involved tells you that they are much too emotionally and meshed for your marriage to survive. Get your life in order and leave them to each other. Abundant monkeys. He's a real piece of work for crying to Anna about it too. Especially since he knew his relationship was already at stake. They're clearly having an emotional affair and are probably fucking as well. Plain Jane Lane 03NTA.

I'll say it, they're having an affair. There is no reason he should have left your side. She could have called a taxi, she could have Ubert. Always trust your instincts. B.T.W. The fact that he went back to her after his argument with you tell me all I need to know. Deleted, he didn't go back to her, but he called her. I don't blame him for driving her. I don't even blame him for missing the birth if he was on his way over knowing that he'd be late. The fact that he chose to stay about five hours with Anna and not see his baby, showed me that seeing his baby was second priority to Anna. If see him, he's a little priority to Anna.

If seeing his baby was so important to him, he would have came to see him. Which is why at first I thought it wasn't cruel to let him not see his daughter for another day or so, since he already missed so much. Plain Jane Lane 0.3. None of this is your fault. You don't have to be rational after giving birth, after you just put your body and hormones through so much trauma. And you had to do it alone. Anna's brother didn't.

He had both of his parents. his sister, and his sister's best friend. You had your dad who wasn't even in the room with you. I don't think you're wrong for re-evaluating your relationship with this man. If he's not cheating, then he has to be the most idiotic man alive. Let him have a relationship with his daughter, but he's proved himself useless to you. Update, thank you everyone for your replies. I think that I was an asshole for using my child against him and should have told him that he could hold and then asked him to leave.

So the divorce is probably going to happen. My brother is looking at lawyers for me. In the midst of this whole mess, this post made me realize I never checked on Anna's brother to see how he's healing because I was so worked by Anna. I called him and he said that he was doing well and will be out of his wheelchair soon. He asked about me and the baby and how I was doing with the split

and if I was okay with my husband and, Anna, I can't believe I was so oblivious. I thought they had an emotional thing going on because of this and when I confronted my husband, he denied it and said me and our baby were his priority and he made a mistake and he was being dumb. You know, Anna's brother kindly informed me that he and Anna's parents thought that my husband and I split when I was seven months pregnant and that Anna and him were back on. He showed up at the hospital as Anna's boyfriend, which is why they didn't bat an eye that he was there and not with his pregnant wife. Because apparently we split.

Her brother's procedures were done well before the afternoon, so I don't know that my husband and Anna were doing for all those hours, but I don't even want to know. If you want more details, I can answer in a comment. Thanks everyone for your kind words and advice. I will be moving back home and filing for full custody. I don't want my baby growing up to be like her father or Anna. He can be fun dad or whatever it is he wants to be. Last edit, I think I'm going to be taking a break from Reddit now because ranting on the internet doesn't seem healthy.

Thanks everyone for their support. I'll take it from here. Comments Per underscore Mellon, his wife has multiple miscarriages and a stillbirth, and he still decides to have an affair and Mrs. Child's birth. And his affair partner decided to call his wife and complain about how mean the wife is to her poor misunderstood spouse? G1 Gestalt, yep.

At first, I wasn't going to make a Burr Post out of this because the story is relatively simple and familiar. But the more you think about it, the more you realize that this guy and his side piece are exceptionally terrible people. FFS, the guy took off in the middle of the night for a booty call even though the baby was like a jack in the box that was ready to pop out at any moment. Got countless calls that his daughter was being born, knowing that OOP might have to face a stillbirth alone, but still decided that wasn't important in enough for him to finish getting his dick wet. That is one remarkable pause. Don't want 39 to think that he didn't check if his child wasn't a stillborn for five hours is the most insane part. This person does not care about anything other than his own pleasure. I'm adding to the list of people whose grave deserved to be pissed on. I'm a half to drink a lot because that list is

getting longer with each post. Booja Falca, I did a screenwriting course once, many years ago. One of the things that we were taught about drama was to write the story slash scenes to deepen the drama, like, you have placed your characters in the worst situation imaginable, and then you have to crank it, make it worse, take it to the apotheosis of terribleness. This poor woman's story does just that. God, I wish her and her baby the best. What a truly terrible man. Phase step. Life 101.1. Anyone who emotionally relies on your spouse that much is bad news. You Rushing out in the middle of the night with barely a bye? Bad bad news.

2. Anyone who thinks you're being the big meany when they're the one who is unreachable for literally no reason is bad news. Poor woman, I hope she finds someone who rocks her world one day and shows her what love actually is. Because this is swipe sure didn't. 48 pink rose. Especially when your wife is about to have a baby. doubly so when she's had several miscarriages slash stillbirths and is terrified of giving birth alone. Dude didn't even pause going out the door. Now on to the next story.

Story 2 chose our daughter's child's birth over our twins' graduation. Now they're giving us the silent treatment and called us trash parents. We're trying to make it up to them but nothing's working. My husband, 48M, and I, 47F, have three wonderful children, twins, 18m and 18F, and an older daughter, 25F. Recently, we were faced with an incredibly difficult situation and now our twins are very upset with us. We are genuinely torn and wondering if we made the wrong decision.

Our older daughter was due to give birth around the same time as the twins' high school graduation. As fate would have it, she went into labor on the exact day of the graduation ceremony. This was our first grandchild, and our daughter was our daughter, was understandably anxious and wanted us by her side. We made the tough call to be there for her, thinking that we could make it up to the twins later. We did inform the twins about the situation,

hoping they would understand, but they were clearly disappointed. Since then, they've been giving us the silent treatment and have been ignoring us completely. They've been going out together, buying food for themselves, and even celebrating their graduation without us. It's heartbreaking to see them so hurt and distant. They aren't speaking to their sister either, which makes the situation even more painful. Our son bluntly told us that he values us and his sister more than a baby who has its whole life ahead

while the graduation is a once-in-a-lifetime event. He also warned us not to try talking to his sister, saying she wouldn't bother giving trash parents the satisfaction of a response. I've noticed that my husband is deeply affected by this. He tries to stay strong, but I can see the pain in his eyes every time the twins ignore him or make hurtful comments. He suggested we spend the entire week spoiling them with gifts and special outings to make it up to them. We thought maybe we could do something special to show them how much we care and to celebrate their achievements in a different way. Unfortunately,

this idea didn't seem to bridge the gap either. We're genuinely at a loss and filled with regret. We thought they would understand the importance of both events and that we could celebrate their graduation later in a special way. But seeing their reaction, we can't help but wonder if we made a grave mistake. So, IDA for skipping our twins' high school graduation for the birth of our grandchild? We are deeply saddened by the rift this has caused in our family and are desperately seeking advice on how to mend it. Comments? Corgi Huntress, ETA, after seeing Ops comments, it sounds like they could easily have had at least one parent attend the graduation,

and that the elder daughter went into labor and they completely dismissed the twins from their minds. I'm also guessing from the twins' reactions that the parents make a habit of putting the twins second or third or last. Oda info, why didn't at least one of you go to the graduation? Did your daughter have a husband or boyfriend there? Why couldn't you have left long enough for the graduation was she in serious labor by that time? To clarify, our daughter's boyfriend left her when he found out she was pregnant. When she went into labor, we both rushed to be with her and, in the moment, we weren't thinking straight. We were overwhelmed and wanted to support her through the birth of her first child.

Looking back, we realized that one of us should have gone to the graduation. It was a major oversight on our part, and we deeply regret it. We were so focused on being there for our daughter that we didn't consider the impact our absence would have on the twins' important day. We know we are the assholes in this situation, and we're trying to find a way to make it right. Amazing Maple, Oda, both of you, talk about favoritism. Op, I know it seems like it, but we really don't have favorites. We both love our children equally. We were dumb and made a decision on the spot, and we regret it a lot.

Falling in top old cadets. Was your eldest daughter literally giving birth while your twins were having their graduation ceremony? You couldn't have gone to see them graduate and then go to you eldest daughter's side? Does you eldest daughter have a significant other, the baby's father, a best friend that was also with her while she labored? Kind of crappy of her to not realize it's her sibling graduation and insist that you attend. You could have stayed in contact over the phone. One of you could have gone and one of you could have stayed and facetimed the ceremony.

You could have asked someone to live stream the graduation. To just. Not go at all if there was a way you could have, while also making sure your eldest was not alone would death make Oda in my eyes. Siss, two. Though I get she may not have been thinking her clearest. Squiddows, Oda. Even though it was unintentional, you basically just showed your twins that your elder daughter is more important to you than they are. This was a once-in-a-lifetime event for them both and you chose to be elsewhere.

Labor takes a long time, usually. You could have told your older daughter that the family would be there after the graduation or one of you, either yourself or your husband, could have gone. gone to the hospital while the other went to the graduation. Instead, your twins were likely some of the only people who had no one there supporting them during this important occasion. It's going to take a long time before you will even come close to making this up to them. Update, first of all, thank you to everyone who read and responded to my original post. It blew up far more than I expected, and I appreciate all the honest feedback I want to start

by saying that my husband and I love all our children equally and never intended to hurt our twins. Lost sight of how important the twins' graduation was. We made a rash decision, and it was a terrible mistake. To address a common question from the comments, the reason we were in such a hurry to get to our daughter's labor is that when I was pregnant with the twins, I had a miscarriage scare. The fear and anxiety from that experience still haunt me, and when our older daughter went into labor, those emotions came rushing back.

We were terrified something might go wrong, and we felt an overwhelming need to be with her. After reading the comments on my original post, I showed my husband what I had written and the responses we received. He was deeply affected by the feedback and agreed that we needed to apologize sincerely. We decided to have a family meeting. It was one of the hardest conversations we've ever had, but it was necessary. We apologized to our twins, expressing our deep regret for missing their graduation and for the pain we caused them. My husband, with tears in his eyes, admitted that we made the wrong choice and asked for their forgiveness.

I followed, echoing his sentiments and apologizing for not being there for them during such an important milestone. The twins were understandably still upset, but they listened. Our son spoke up, saying that while it will take time to heal, he appreciated our apology. Our daughter, expressed how much it hurt to feel like they were second place but said she was willing to work towards rebuilding our relationship. They both ultimately accepted our apologies. We are planning a special celebration just for them, inviting their friends and other family members who supported them. It wasn't a replacement for the graduation we missed, but it was a step towards showing them how much we care. This experience has taught us a valuable lesson about priorities and communication.

We are deeply sorry for the pain we've caused, and we hope that with time and effort, our family can heal and grow stronger from this. I'm sorry hurting my two precious babies and thank you Reddit for being brutally honest. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother evicted me due to her recent partner following the passing of my father and excluded me from her upcoming nuptials. Consequently, I sought assistance from my grandparents, and now she is facing the risk of losing our residents. Her engagement. So my dad passed away about a year ago after a really long struggle with brain cancer. We knew that he was not going to make it as soon as he had been diagnosed because the doctors had told us that it was a little too late for him.

But we still tried our very best to keep the treatments going and he put on a brave face for us. But ultimately, we lost him. He was my best friend ever since I was a kid and even though I definitely love my mom, I loved him a lot more. After he passed away, I felt like a piece of me had left with him and I was never going to get that piece back. So naturally, I was quite emotionally affected by his demise and for the past one year, I've been quite lost. I was 16 back then and recently, I turned 17 and I decided to take a gap year after I graduated high school because I need some time to figure out what I want to do with my life.

I'm privileged enough to have that choice since my family has been supportive of my decisions so far. So I'm going to work and figure out what I want to do in the future until then. I planned on staying back home since I didn't want to waste money renting an apartment for myself. However, my mother had her boyfriend move in with us a couple months ago and even though I was not exactly fine with it, I had to pretend like it was not a big deal because I did not want to hurt my mother or question her feelings for my dad. But I found it quite odd that she had started dating this guy just six months after my dad had passed away because I thought it was too soon. I even casually brought it up with my mother, and she told me that she missed my dad, but at some point, she would have to move on.

And the guy she was dating, she had known him since they were in high school and they had drifted apart for a bit when he moved away, but had reconnected recently when he had reconnected recently, but had reconnected recently when he had really grown to care for him. So after having dated for three months, she had him move in with us so we could bond because they were getting married soon. A couple of weeks ago, they got officially engaged and after the engagement party, my mother told me that she had to speak to me in private, and that was when she told me that once she was married. She would want me to move out since she did not want me to be part of her and neither did she want me staying with him anymore because she wanted to start afresh and both she and her partner agreed that this would be for the best. So just to be clear, it has been only a year since my dad passed away and just six months after his demise, my mom started seeing this guy. She told me about it after she had been out for a couple of days with him and three months after that, she had him move in with us. I was fine with that because she was trying to move on and she knew what was best for her. She had also been a good

mother to me so far and when my dad was alive, she had also been a good wife to him. So I had no reason to question her and I respected her decision, even though I did not necessarily agree with it or think it was a good idea. But I thought that I was too young to know anything, so I kept my mouth shut. Now, it has been almost three months since her boyfriend has been living with us and four weeks ago, a few days after they got engaged. She told me that she wanted me to move out by the time they started the preparation for the wedding that was going to be in a couple of months, maybe five or six at most. I think it would be very obvious to anyone with even half a brain that she was rushing things and it was completely unnecessary. It was also kind of disrespectful to my dad's

memory because it had not been that long since he passed away. Anyway, after she told me that she would want me to move out and wouldn't want me to be a part of her new family, I didn't even know what to tell her. So I just asked her why exactly had she made this decision because as far as I could recall, she had said that she wanted her fiancé to be living with us so we could get to know each other and bond, which would be good for us because eventually she planned on marrying him and then we would all be living together. And now, all of a sudden, she wanted me to find a place of my own, it just didn't add up. She did not seem inclined to tell me the real reason, but then, when I kept insisting that I wanted to know. She told me that her fiancé wasn't exactly comfortable with the

idea of me continuing to live with them even after they got married because I would be a constant reminder of her previous relationship. The guy had told her that he had apparently been in love with her ever since they were in high school, but had never been able to work up the courage to ask her out and then they sort of lost touch when they were in college. Eventually, my mom ended up marrying my dad and they didn't speak for many years. But he had always resented my father for being able to get to her first and now that he was finally out of the way, he didn't want me here. She told me that her fiancé didn't even want me to be invited to the wedding because he thought that it was cold and hateful and I did not approve of their relationship.

So, he wanted me out because he thought that I was against their relationship and he believed that I would prove to be quite toxic if I was at the wedding or even in their lives. I couldn't even believe that she was entertaining this idea, and she told me that she had tried to fight for me, saying that I was just lost and kind of distant from everyone at this point because I still missed my dad but her fiancé had made up his mind and had given her an ultimatum. She could either choose my side or she could chose him. And very, obviously, she had made her choice, so she was asking me to stay out. She told me that she had talked her fiancé into at least letting me stay until I was able to find a place,

but after that, they would require me to leave as soon as the wedding got close. That day was horrible for me because I had a huge fight with my mom, naturally. I told her that she was a coward, and she was incredibly selfish for choosing her fiancé over me. We were shouting at each other, so her fiancé was. was able to overhear what was going on and he came to her rescue. And he started accusing me of never even trying to give him a chance and creating a very hostile environment for him ever since he had moved in. I don't think that was true.

I just didn't go out of my way to speak to him, and I was only polite to him, but didn't treat him with any extra love or affection. I think that's pretty normal so I don't even know why he was expecting that because I had just lost my father. I was obviously still trying to process that and I was not ready to build a relationship with him as my stepdad so soon. Anyway, he started accusing me of being hostile. I told him that he had no right to say anything at all to me because this was my house

and he couldn't kick me out. So then, things got much worse and he told me that he could definitely kick me out because it was my mother's choice not to have me here since I was the face of her past mistakes. That comment made me so mad that I ended up attacking him and scratched his face up real bad. My mother had to separate us and then, she told me that she would be. call the cops if I did not leave so I packed some of my things and I headed over to my grandparents place. I went to live with my paternal grandparents because my mom's parents live out of state and I'm not very close with them. Once I was there, I explained the entire situation to them,

and they decided to take matters into their own hands. They had already known all about my mother, trying to move on just six months after their son had passed away, but just like me, they had not questioned either. They had wanted to respect her wishes and let her her live her life the way she wanted to because we were sure that my dad's demise was tough on her as well. All of us had wanted to give this relationship a chance, but she had proven that she was not the same person she had been when my dad was still around. Anyway, once I told my grandparents what had happened, they decided to cut off her funds. Apparently, ever since things got too bad with my dad's health, he had to quit his job and my grandparents were the ones who had been funding everything.

My mom works in publishing and has a decent income on her own, but my dad used to be a dentist and quite a well-known one at that. So the kind of lifestyle that we were used to, my mother couldn't maintain that on her own income, and so, my grandparents had been chipping in so that I wouldn't have to make any sacrifices and I'm incredibly privileged for that. After my father passed away, they continued to support us by sending my mother money, even after she started dating somebody else. They were doing all of this because they did not want to do that.

want me to be uncomfortable and I was still young, so it was my mom taking care of me so they sent the money to her. They wanted to make sure that she was taken care of because she and my dad had been together for a long time, and my grandparents had genuinely considered her the daughter that they never had. But since I had left home, they decided that they were going to cut off her funds, and that would mean that she would not be able to afford the lavish wedding that she was planning. It was pretty stupid on her part to even kick me out because if she knew that she had been counting on the money that my grandparents had been sending, then she should have at least waited until the wedding had happened to kick me out. I found out about this because the day that I got kicked out, and I told my grandparents everything. They called her up and got into a fight with her, and later on, she messaged me saying that I was the reason she would have to scale her way down and even her fiancé was upset because he had not known that she had been living off of her in-law's money so far.

He thought that she was able to afford that lifestyle all on her own and well, let's just say that he had been in for a nasty surprise. But the cherry on top is the fact that nobody knew that even the house that we had been living in was owned and paid for by my grandparents. My dad had never brought it up because he didn't think that it would ever be necessary, but the house had a wedding gift from my grandparents to him. My grandparents had tried to transfer the deed of the house to him, but my dad had declined and said that he wanted my grandparents to retain ownership of the house legally. that if my grandparents ever were in need, they would be able to sell the property in the future. And by then, he hoped to be successful enough to move out on such short notice and not care about it. Had he been alive, he definitely would have been able to do so, so I guess he lived up to that. Anyway, for whatever reason, my dad had made sure that my grandparents retained legal ownership

of that house and now, my mother was upset because she was getting kicked out of the house herself and didn't have a place to play happy family in. And guess what, the best part is that she's blaming me for all of this as if I'm the one who started it. The only thing that I did was complain to my grandparents because I was the one being wrong and I don't think that was with an intention to take revenge on her. It was just something that happened because I needed somebody to talk to. She screwed herself over, not me. But anyway, she has been sending me messages about how she had been planning on adopting twins because that's what she had always wanted and after marriage. she and her fiancé were going to apply, but now, they had to rethink everything and come up with a new

plan for their life and it was all because of me. She said that she has been feeling humiliated since she doesn't know when she's going to get married anymore and has no idea where she's even going to live. And instead of being sorry about any of this, she has been blaming me, saying that the least I could have done for her was at least give her some time like she had done for me. Apparently, she thought that she had fought for me and showed me that she cared, but I didn't do the same for her. She believes that she has been betrayed and I can't even come up with a single logical train of thought that would explain why my mom thinks that she has been betrayed by me after everything that's happened. She had been trying to call me and stuff, and then I blocked her without any

response because I did not think that I owed it to her. After all, she did not think that she owed me an explanation when she decided that she was going to pick her fiancé over me. But blocking her didn't even help, she came up with other ways to contact me and bother me and relentlessly keep sending me messages, reminding me that this was all my fault. It got way too much for me to handle, so I decided to respond to her once and for all and end this. She had been using fake accounts and throw away email addresses on social media to keep sending me messages. So I decided to respond to one of them and I told her that this was all her fault and she needed to stop blaming me for it. I told her that I was glad that I had ruined her life and now, she wasn't sure at what time she was

going to get married or where she was going to live or how she was going to adopt the kids that she was planning on adopting with her fiancé. Most of all, I was glad that she wouldn't be able to build a family because just in case she had forgotten, she had already done that once. She already had a family and I was a part of it, but look how she treated me. And if there's this thing, I was a this is her idea of how family should be treated, especially your own children, then I guess it's for the best that she isn't going to get the opportunity to adopt kids anymore. I told her that she wasn't fit to be a mother since she had found it more reasonable to choose her fiancé over me, for no real reason. Then, I even questioned if she had actually

been loyal to my dad at all because the speed at which she and her relationship with her fiancé was moving. It was questionable whether she even missed my father. I had tried my best to respect her decisions, but unfortunately, she had proven that she was not worthy of my respect and now, whatever my grandparents were doing, I was going to stand by and let them handle it because I thought it was the right thing to do. And she would have to look for a place and move out because that's exactly what she had been trying to do to me and this is just karma hitting her back. I sent this message in after that, the chaos that has followed, I don't even know what to say about it. Right now, my family is divided because some people think that I said a lot of things that were not

and some people think that my mother deserved it. The only reason the rest of the family was unable to find out about it was because my mom posted the entire exchange on social media and I guess it was kind of fair. Since she did every single detail, she didn't leave out her own faults. But she also made it seem like I was overreacting and that after having raised me, this was not what she deserved. I'm glad that some people are on my side but the ones who are with my mother on this. I don't know how to feel about that since it's.

not like these people have always been against me, they are my relatives and even they have adored me, but this time, they think that I went too far. So what do you guys think? I'd offer telling my mother that I don't think she's fit to be a mother after she chose her fiancé over me. Update 1. Hi, everyone. Thank you to everyone who has responded to my post and commented on it. It means a lot that you guys took out the time to do so. Anyway, coming to what's going on with my family, I think it's better for me not to pay any mind to the people who are not on my side on this one because I did whatever I thought was appropriate and my grandparents think that at this stage. It was necessary for me to speak up because my mom doesn't have the right to go out of her way to make me feel guilty for something that was not even my fault and expect me to take it without a word. I stood up for myself and they thought it was the right thing to do, that's all that matters to me.

But that's just my paternal grandparents. My mom's parents are obviously on her side here, and they think that I should apologize to her and try to make it all right with her because they think that I had been vindictive and cruel. So I did the only reasonable thing. I blocked them as well, and I'm going to make sure that they are not able to contact me after this since if they can't even see their own daughter's faults. I don't think they have any business commenting on mine. It's been a while since I left home and my grandparents have already stopped sending her money, since there was no formal arrangement. They were just doing it out of the kindness of their heart. And the only thing that's left to do is evict them so I can have the house to myself again. My grandparents have already spoken to their lawyers and have the eviction notice prepared, so my mom is going to be served in a couple of days.

Some of you had been asking if my mother had any idea that the house did not actually belong to my father and that it belongs to my grandparents and, well, I don't really know. I don't think she knew, because otherwise she might have gotten him to transfer the property to her. My grandparents handled the property tax but my dad paid the money, so even if she had been living in that house for a really long time, it didn't matter because she didn't have anything to do with it legally. Anyway, I'm really looking forward to having her evicted so I can have the house to myself again because I feel like she deserves to be taught a lesson. Dealing with my emotions had been extremely difficult for me for the past year, ever since my father passed away, and she knew that.

She had seen me at my lowest and she knew how much I missed him but still, she went out of her way to make me miserable and chose her fiancé over me, her only child. Also, about her fiancé, I don't even know what's wrong with that guy. I think I had complained about this in my original post as well, but well, I hate him so I'm going to complain about it again. I don't know why exactly he just assumed that I did not like him, I was just indifferent to him, and it was not even anything personal, I was just because I was. grieving the loss of my father. God forbid he doesn't receive attention from his future stepdaughter for one second. And on top of that, he had the audacity to call me a reminder of my mom's past mistakes? I think he has to be the biggest mistake my mom has ever made. I can't imagine anybody being creepy enough to wait for a woman's husband to pass away so he can hit on her and I can't

believe my mother was stupid enough to fall for it. So I don't feel bad for her at all anymore and I think that she totally deserves it. And anyone who is on her side here can take a hike and leave me alone forever. I'm going to keep track of who's siding with her right now, so that in the future, I never interact with these people ever again. It might seem petty and small for me to do so, but I don't even care, this is a big deal for me. The only good thing that has come out of this is that she has stopped sending me messages after I responded to her, so I think it was worth it. She still has that post though, which honestly doesn't even matter to me because I told my relatives not to keep sending it to me and that I didn't care about it at all. She can play the victim all that she wants. It's not going to change the reality and it's definitely not going to change the fact that in a few days, she's going to be served with an eviction notice and then she will have to leave her house.

And I personally can't wait for that to happen. Update 2, it happened and I haven't ever been happier. I feel like a bad person for being so happy right now, but I don't care. My mom got served with the eviction notice today and had a total mental breakdown on social media. After she was served, she went live on Facebook and a bunch of my relatives witnessed her completely breaking down. She was sobbing like crazy and I would have felt bad for her if she hadn't actually taken the time to set up the camera and then act dramatic for her audience. She started talking about how she had raised me and my father would have been so disappointed in me today, as if I couldn't say the same thing for her. My mom was acting as if I had an issue with the fact that she was dating

again and was trying to move on, which was not even the case. I had an issue with the fact that she was trying to kick me out of the house and make me seem like the bad guy for simply standing up for myself. I didn't even care that she had told me about not being invited to the wedding, but I had an issue with the fact that her fiancé thought that I was toxic and wanted me out of the house that I had lived in with my father. If he had a problem with me, he could leave. And that's the energy that my mother should have had as well, but unfortunately, she thought that giving me time to move out was the more reasonable thing to do here. She had been crying on the floor and beating the floor with her fists. You know how people act in films and she thought that people were going

to sympathize with her and some people were doing that, but most people were just calling her out on her BS because they knew the entire story. A lot of my relatives who were on my side had screened recorded the entire thing and sent it to me and I have to say, it's pathetic how she had been acting. I had already been quite embarrassed of how she had been acting for the past couple of weeks, but now I'm downright ashamed of it. I hate the fact that I'm related to her and I'm always going to be known as her daughter because this is just weird and psychotic. Anyway, I'm just happy that even after breaking down on social media and trying to play the victim so badly, it didn't matter because she is still going to have to vacate the house and be gone by the end of the month.

On a more serious note, I hope she sees therapy because it's very obvious to me now that she needs intensive care for her declining mental health since I literally can't imagine anybody who is normal acting like this. Update 3, hi, guys. So my mother has moved out, officially. And the house is empty now, so I can move in in a couple of of days, but I'm going to wait it out. I've really enjoyed living with my grandparents and I don't want to give up on that so soon. So I'm going to be staying with them for a few more weeks or maybe even months. I haven't decided yet. Anyway, I have more news about my mother, so apparently she and her fiancé have called off their engagement and have separated. They did not mention any

reasons for it on social media, but I have heard from a couple of relatives that she has been telling people that it's because he couldn't handle the fact that she was acting so unstable. I mean, after her recent behavior, I wouldn't blame anybody for leaving her because it has been pretty psychotic. But she has been justifying it all, claiming that it's been happening because she has been having a really tough time coping with her emotions after my father passed away. And even if I do believe that it just explains her actions, it doesn't excuse them. She has been telling the relatives who had been on her side through this entire thing about what she has been going through. And I really think she needs to reevaluate who she's supposed to about these things,

because the gossip is spreading and I'm pretty sure that the one she has chosen to trust other ones who are talking about her behind her back. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gotten to know about all of these things. Anyway, that's her choice now. To be honest, everything said and done, I do feel kind of bad for her. She is my mother and both of us lost somebody incredibly important to us last year. I don't think my dad would have liked to see us like this, but I can't help it. I really wanted to accept her and make our relationship work, even though she was doing things that I did not approve of. But I don't think she valued the fact that I was trying my very best to accept her and her fiancé and she decided to go out of her way to change her life,

according to her partner. She should have stood her ground and stood up for me instead, and maybe we would be having a nice life now. Instead, she put everything at risk so she could have a new family and a new life and put me in the past. That backfired on her. And now, she doesn't have a daughter, she doesn't have a fiancé, and she doesn't even have her own home because from what I've heard, she has had to move into a really tiny apartment, which is all she could find on such short notice. I feel bad for her, but at the same time, she brought this on herself. I just hope that at some point in the future, she comes to her senses and apologizes. But even if it doesn't happen, I'm fine with it because I have my grandparents

by my side and I'm going to work hard for my future, just like my father wanted me to. I hope you enjoy this story. Father exchanged my mother for his new wife and evicted me after I urged her to depart from our existence. My mom meant everything to me. Remember reading books, watching documentaries, and going on road trips with her. She baked my sister and I cookies whenever we were sick. Her and dad would take us hiking every other week. I still miss her even now. When I was 11 years old, she passed away from a driving accident. It was the hardest year in my life, and it hasn't gotten easier. Two years after she passed, my father started dating a woman named Nicole, and four years later, they're getting married. Nicole is younger than my father. After dating

Nicole, I saw my father come back into his shell, but it turned into something else. Nicole brought adventure back into his life, but they often went on elaborate trips and frequent nightouts. During all of this, I felt neglected. My father slowly stopped taking my sister and eye on our weekly hikes. He started speaking less and less over calls, and he even once forgot my mother's birthday. After she came into our lives, I started losing my father. He just wasn't there anymore. One time, when my sister and I were home alone, she fell down the stairs and got a huge cut on her forehead. It was clear she needed stitches, so I called my father immediately. Nicole answered the phone, and I told her to give the phone to my father. She refused saying he was busy and before I could

get another word in, she disconnected the call. I embarrassingly had to ask the neighbor to bring us to urgent care where my dad later met us. This woman at one point removed my mother's picture from the fire mantle to put up a picture of her and my dad from their trip to Washington. The thing that tipped me over was when she made my father forget about my mother's birthday. Every year, my sister and I go with our father to visit my mother on her birthday. It was an annual tradition even before Nicole entered our lives. Nicole and my father went on a trip to Florida and were supposed to be back three days before my mother's birthday. But, because this woman is motion sick,

my father decided to break the drive back into small intervals to make it easier on her. Because of this, he ended up missing our annual trip. He didn't even call us. Not even a week later, my father has the nerve to tell us about an exciting surprise Nicole is pregnant. I get angry and tell my father you need to knock her ass up when you can't even be here for us. I then look at Nicole and tell her she is a disgusting piece of trash and to get out of our lives. My father gets angry and yells at me to go up to my room.

Later, my grandpa unexpectedly came over to pick me up. My father didn't text me shit. Even as I left, he wouldn't even look at me. It's been two days, and I'm still at my grandparents' home. I feel ashamed for saying what I said, yet I don't feel overwhelming regret. Ida. Edit when I saw how deep the cut was, I immediately called my dad. He was staying over at Nicole's place at the time.

When I called, Nicole picked up. She said, hello? I said, sister's name, is bleeding. Can you pass the phone to Dad? She said, Dad's name is busy. I can't. And, immediately afterwards, she disconnected the phone. I then left to go get my neighbor.

I've decided to contact my maternal grandpa tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes. Comments where OP has replied. You didn't say your age, but I hope you can move out soon. I appreciate it. I'm 17, and I've spoken to school counselors too. No one is willing to help me. I've tried talking with my dad about how I feel way before my outburst,

but it always ends with it happened years ago. It's time to move on. I don't even know what that means. My sister can't get help either, so I'm trying to peacefully exist for her. I am 17. My sister is 13. My dad is 44, and Nicole is 34. Has Nicole ever tried to connect?

I ran out of characters in the original post, but that's the thing. Nicole never made any effort to talk to us apart from when we go out for family dinners, or when we are at parties. Even then, the conversations are always about her. My dad invited her on our hikes early in their relationship, but she didn't like being outside. And over time, my dad stopped taking us hiking even when we asked him. Nicole does pottery from time to time, and I've invited her to my Art Honor Society events, but she always declined. We've made every effort to get to know her, but she only seems interested in talking with my dad.

She doesn't understand we are a part of his life too. Grandparents and their role in this. I didn't touch on this before, but I am currently living with my paternal grandparents. They live the closer to us than my maternal side grandpa. I've tried talking to my paternal grandparents too, but it was also a very wishy-washy conversation. Not to say it didn't help at times, but it's clear that they were justifying my dad's actions at every chance rather than hearing me out.

I don't want to live like this. I hate holding resentment, but I can't help it. I've asked my dad about therapy, but he doesn't believe in that type of support. This morning, I asked my paternal grandparents if I could spend Thanksgiving at my maternal grandpa's place, but they refused. And, that's another thing. I can't escape the situation or the bad feelings if I wanted to. Ick, Dad, and Nicole will come over for Thanksgiving, and I'll have to sit there. Counseling

I want grief counseling mainly, but even just help working through my resentment towards my dad and Nicole is enough. I don't want to go to bed crying every other night. I don't want to feel hate. I just want to be mentally at peace. My dad doesn't believe in therapy or counseling. I don't know what made him hold those views, but it's made it harder for my sister and I to get help. I've secretly talked to school counselors, my paternal grandparents, my dad, my aunt, dad's sister. but it's never a productive conversation.

The only person who has helped me the most was my maternal grandpa, but we are barely allowed to see him. I've calmly expressed how I felt to my dad on multiple occasions. You said you talked to your school counselor, what do they say? They can't point me towards a resource without my dad's consent. The conversations usually end with to continue to speak with my dad. I don't expect them to have a solution to every situation, but it would be nice to just be heard. fully. I also have to censor a few details when I speak with them because they have sent a police officer to my house in the past. My dad was angry about that situation and I don't want him to feel

angry with me. As for therapy, my dad doesn't believe in therapy or counseling, so I'm limited with options. More on the police visit. When I spoke to the school counselor, I mentioned that when my dad and Nicole were traveling abroad, he left me and my sister home alone for three days and forgot to leave us some money to get food. Because of this, a police officer was sent to our home to check on us. And my dad got angry about me sharing family information to strangers. Another time, he forgot to pick up my sister from swim practice for an hour or so. My dad got a call from the swim place, and he told me to walk 30 minutes walk and get my sister. As for feelings, I feel like my mind is a bit lighter, and my heart doesn't feel as heavy as before. It helped me process. It helped me

my emotions somewhat. Maybe you need to tell the school counselor what is going on regardless. I've debated about it, but at the end of the day, my sister and I still need our dad. He financially supports us, and we still live in his home. He has control over our college funds, so the last thing I want is to jeopardize that. Also, my sister is still young, and I know she still needs him even if he is emotionally unavailable. I don't want that to potentially be taken away from. from her. OOP is voted entie. Mini update. I've called my maternal grandpa when everyone was still sleeping. It ended up being a two-hour call. I basically mentioned to him everything I've said here and how I want to live with him if possible. He said that as much as he wants me to go get out

from there, that he can't do much without my father's approval. I hinted at a legal approach, but he said he wouldn't be able to see us if it got that far. My grandpa also also, shared some new info regarding my dad. According to him, when I was 14 and my sister was 10, my dad dropped us over at my grandpa's farm since he and Nicole were flying out. A day after they returned, my grandpa dropped us back home. We were still sleeping in grandpa's car when this ordeal happened. But when my grandpa knocked on the door, my dad answered the door drunk out of his mind. From what little he could see, my grandpa saw that the house was a mess. He told my dad, that he would bring us back the following day once my dad was in his right mind.

We left back to Grandpa's place. Then, my grandpa got a call from my dad the next morning, threatening him with the police if he didn't bring us back immediately. My grandpa mentioned that he would speak with my paternal grandparents to see if something can be done about our situation. Update 1. Hi everyone, it's been a while. I really want to thank all of you for your perspectives and advice. Just wanted to give an update. Regarding Thanksgiving dinner, when my dad and Nicole arrived, I asked if I could speak with them both. My dad said he didn't want to talk and went into the living room. Nicole still remained by the front door, so I apologized for insulting her. She replied that she needed to leave and went to the living room. Overall, she still seemed rightfully

angry with me. Dinner was awkward because my grandma would try to get my dad and I to. to talk, but he wouldn't really bother. After dinner, I pulled him aside and apologized again. He ignored me and went straight to Nicole. I still wasn't sure if I was heading back with him or not, so I packed everything just in case. When he was getting ready to leave, I asked him if I could come back home. He said Nicole wasn't comfortable having me home even though it had been a few days since the incident. I spent the entire night crying on the phone with my sister. Therapy and living situation. After having my call with my maternal grandpa, he called my paternal grandparents a couple days later to discuss my situation. I overheard the call between them. My maternal grandpa

expressed he was concerned about me, especially my mental state and asked my paternal grandparents if they were willing to talk to my dad about putting me in therapy. My grandparents said they'd be willing to take me to their church's mental support group or talk with their faith leader who specializes in grief counseling. My grandpa pushed back on the idea and mentioned a need for more professional help, but they were not receptive to the idea. All three of them also had a heated conversation about my living arrangement. My grandpa said it was ridiculous for a grown man to throw out their daughter, and it was shameful that my paternal grandparents are not hard-pressed in helping me get back home. That's all I heard

regarding the conversation. Now, my grandma started taking me to weekly private sessions with the faith leader. I'm not entirely happy with the arrangement. but it has helped me start to process my grief in a healthier way. Also, I am still living with my grandparents. I apologized over and over through text to my dad and through my grandparents, but he has not responded. My maternal grandpa has called my dad many times, but my dad blocked him. I am contemplating telling my school counselor next semester all the details regarding my dad

and not admitting anything to protect him. I also wasn't invited to my dad and Nicole's Christmas dinner, which hurt. but I'm starting to not care to have a relationship with my dad. I don't know if my feelings will change. In a twisted way, it was good he didn't let me go back home with him. The space has helped me focus on myself. Comments where OP has replied, Is your sister still in the house?

I ran out of characters in the update, but my sister is still living with my dad. She visits me over weekends and I've walked home with her from school, so I still have some contact. Text him once more and say you're not sorry. Have him sign away his parental rights and then go scorched earth. I've thought about this long and hard to the point it had mentally consumed me. I've imagined every revenge and final say moments, but one thing I've recognized in therapy

is how much my resentment and anger has been holding me back from moving on. I am now just trying to emotionally detach from them. I have every intention to involve the school counselor for my sister. You've done the right thing. Thank you. I'm looking forward to college and putting this behind me in time. I'm trying to convince my grandparents to allow my sister to live with them full time, so she has some semblance of peace. Has your father stopped leaving your sister alone for days at a time? He hasn't gone on any major trip since the end of November, but he definitely will for his California trip in January. I've asked my grandparents if they could let her stay over during that and honestly for the foreseeable future.

OOP responds to a comment with advice and questions here. I can't live with my maternal grandpa because I'm sure my dad wouldn't allow it. He has threatened to call the cops in the past when my sister and I stayed at my grandpa's place. Given how my grandpa and dad are not on speaking terms, I believe trying to live with him will only further prevent us from seeing him. Believe me, I never wanted to go to a faith leader for mental help. My paternal grandparents are hell-bent on not taking me to a valid professional. They don't believe in it and are worried what others might think of me if I do. I can drive myself, but I don't have my own car.

I also don't want to lie to my grandparents about my whereabouts if I do take their truck. It's too big of a risk for me. I've lost a lot of love and respect I have for my father. I've stopped trying to communicate. I still end up crying some days, but it's becoming less frequent. The only reason I'll ever talk to him is if it's anything regarding my sister. Nicole is 34 years old, and my dad is 44 years old. I hope he is present for the baby. I have no expectations for him having regret or expressing remorse. My image of him pretty much

died the moment he kicked me out. I already work at a local diner, so I'm hoping to save enough before summer at least. Also, I've gotten into two to three colleges as of RN. I'm excited for that chapter. Tie for your advice. I ended up spending New Year's Eve with a couple of my friends and sister, a little silver lining in all of this egg. Also, Nicole's cooking kind of sucks, so missing Christmas wasn't that bad. I'm not religious, so I was skeptical of the faith-based approach in therapy. It's better than nothing, and the faith leader actually strays from religious-rooted reasons during sessions. More info. Hi everyone, I'm feeling over. overwhelmed with the amount of messages, but I want to say that I am not literate regarding the laws around my situation.

Regarding my sister and I's college fund, my mom worked in a small boutique, and some money earned through that was set aside. Well, my dad worked as a consultant, and I do know he did put some money into the funds too. I don't know if my sister and I received any money regarding benefits or any monetary inheritance from my mom after she passed. I'm still understanding a great deal of information and writing everything out first. I even recently opened up a bank account with my grandparents' help, so now, I will not be dependent on him for simple monetary needs. I have thought about emancipation, but in less than a year, I'll be 18, so I am not sure if that avenue is worth my energy given everything else. Also, thank you for leaving info in the comments. I'll certainly be looking into all of that.

Also, I know it is a small percentage of people, but please don't send me messages telling me to do violent things to my dad or Nicole or wishing harm on their baby. I don't need that, nor would I wish it upon anybody. More new comments. I believe my mom and dad contributed to a 529 plan for both my sister and I. I'd count how much is in it, or if he'll try to change the beneficiary to possibly the baby after. I am trying to figure that out since my mom contributed to it as well. If I can still be entitled to that money, or if I could get the money back if he tries to change the beneficiary,

I'd give this part as possible, but a possibility that I thought of. Faith leader says his behavior is a result of denial of the mourning process, and that his unhealthy coping mechanisms, X, constantly going out with Nicole, have manifested into his current actions. Also, he may be ignoring us because we remind him of mom or some BS like that. The leader puts heavy emphasis on family, so it's clear he's just finding roundabout ways to explain my dad's actions but doesn't acknowledge his wrongdoings. He at least acknowledges my feelings and discusses healthy coping mechanisms and how to manage grief. The faith leader never agreed or disagreed with any of my sentiments.

New update. Hi, I wasn't sure if I was still allowed to add. long updates to my old post, but I wanted to give one. Right now, everything is a mess, so I'll try my best to be coherent. This in hindsight was an idiotic mistake on my end. But after I scheduled a meeting with my counselor, I mentioned it while calling my sister. On the call, I never explicitly mentioned my intention to report him, but she started freaking out and telling me it was not a good idea. She ended up crying on calls saying that I would be hurting our father if I reported him. I told her that I wouldn't go to the meeting to help her calm down.

Regardless, I still planned on going to the counselor meeting. I scheduled the meeting during the second week of January while my father was out in California. Night before the meeting, I got a call from my father. He said that if I ever wanted a place to live again to not spread lies about him to the counselor. I said that I would never do that, and that was the end of the call. This was the first time I've spoken to him in days, and I never gave any indication of me reporting him. I realized my sister must have said something, so I called her to talk. I asked her why she would tell him something like this, and she said that he called her to ask what I was doing. She slipped up and told him that I was planning to meet with the counselor. I still ended up going to the counselor meeting, and I told him

everything that was going on. I told the counselor to please not notify my father about the meeting, and he agreed. At the very end, the counselor gave me two to three pamphlets for mental health support, and said he'll follow up with me. He also dodged my questions regarding what will happen now. A day later right after I got home from school, my paternal grandpa called me over and said he wanted to talk. He told me that the school called my father to set up a meeting with the counselor. He started to yell and get angry with me saying that if I pull this shit, they'll take my sister and the baby away. He also said that I wasn't raised to lie and continue to reprimand me. I never thought my grandpa was capable of being this way, but it scared me how angry he got.

I also got grounded, so I'm not allowed to drive or visit friends for a couple of weeks. I don't know what exactly went down in the meeting between the counselor and my father. From the call between my grandpa and father, I learned there was a police officer present in the meeting and that they will be doing a wellness check. Also, my friend. I'm a person. I learned, my My father denied everything that I told the counselor and chalked it up to me being spiteful because I lost my mom. I wasn't in a good mental state afterwards, and I am still not. I call my friend and ask her to stay on the phone with me most times, or I just rot in my room. Also, as punishment, my grandma stopped taking me to the faith leader, so that's my current situation.

I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse persuaded me to resign from my employment before abandoning me during my pregnancy, and convinced my mother to provide evidence against me in a legal setting. Several years later, my mother discovered that he had manipulated images using software. Fake evidence I've had a really rough couple of years recently but I'm just managing to get back on my own two feet this year and it's been difficult, especially since I don't have any support from anyone. I blame my ex-husband for most of this because he's the one who pretty much ruined my life and left me on my own about a year ago.

My ex-husband, Ezra and I had been together for two years before we got married. We were married for three years before he decided to leave me last year, while I was in the second trimester of my pregnancy. Ezra and I met when we were 22, just starting out as a couple of new employees in the same company. We worked together for a few months before he finally asked me out, and then, we started dating. While we were dating, everything was great, and soon enough, we decided to get married. After that, everything started going wrong for me because I think knowing that I had a ring on my finger now, and I was totally committed to him made him take me for granted.

At first, he talked me into quitting my job so I could stay at home full time and take care of the household. I was a little skeptical about it initially, but then, I decided to go for it because my mother herself had been a psalm and my dad had always treated her very respectfully. But unfortunately, I did not realize that Ezra was nothing like my father and within half a year of me quitting my job, we started having trouble with money. He and I used to work in sales, so it was all commission-based and I guess he was not doing well. So I tried to talk to him about going back to work again since we were clearly struggling with money but he got really egoistic and accused me of not trusting him to be competent and capable enough of managing the finances on his own. He told me to stick to my work around the house and not worry about the money, and we started fighting about these things because I thought that he was being very disrespectful towards me, especially given the fact that due to our lifestyle, we had to rely on my savings way more than I

would have liked to. But after every fight, he would always apologize to me and emotionally manipulate me into forgiving him. I really loved him and I wanted to make it work, so I would end up forgiving him in spite of myself. This ended up turning into a cycle, he would disrespect me and then apologize to me and make it up to me and I would end up staying. It was all very emotionally exhausting but at the time, I still had this faith that I could make it work with him. I put up with it for a really long time, but even that was not enough for him to stay and he filed for a divorce eventually. And to make sure that he wouldn't have to pay any alimony, he went above and beyond in his attempts to make me look like a cheater. Last year,

when I was around 10 weeks pregnant, my ex-boyfriend from high school reached out to me and asked me to meet him for coffee. I don't think it would have been a big deal if we had just been a short-term fling, but unfortunately, he and I had a really long history. We had started dating when we were just 13 and he had my first and only serious boyfriend before I met Ezra. My ex, I'll call him David, and I had been together for almost six years before we mutually decided to break up in college. He had chosen to go to college out of state and we tried to make it work long distance for a year, but it just wasn't going well and we started to have a lot of misunderstandings. So instead of letting it drag on and end on a bad note, we decided to end on a good

note in mutually parted ways. After that, we tried to stay friends for a while, but we just drifted apart gradually. And after I met Ezra, nobody else stood the chance because I was head over heels in love with him. Ezra knew about David and he had never had an issue with it, so when I asked him if I could meet David for coffee since we hadn't seen each other for a really long time, Ezra agreed to let me go without any complaints. I had gotten to know from a couple of old friends that after he had graduated from college, David hadn't come back and had moved to New Zealand to stay with his uncle and had been working there ever since. After that, he rarely ever visited, and even when he would, he would only see his family and go back quickly. So,

Last year, he had taken a proper vacation to come back home and meet everyone and that's why he had asked me to meet him as well, for old time's sake. Ezra knew about all of this because I had even made him read the message that David had sent to me, and it was purely platonic. There was nothing romantic about it at all. But in spite of that, when he brought it up in court, he made it sound like I had always been in love with David and that meeting at the coffee shop had been the first of many secret meetings. even though it was the one and only time that I had met him after our breakup. He didn't have any evidence. He just claimed that he had seen me and David holding hands together but hadn't managed to get a picture because he was so horrified and what was worse was that he managed to get a couple of our mutual

friends to testify against me too. However, what really sealed it for me was my mom's decision to believe Ezra and testify against me. We had been having our usual fights while I was pregnant anyway, but as time went on, the fight got worse because he started getting more agitated about the finances, and with a baby on the way, I couldn't even blame him for it. So I tried my best to cut down on our expenses but even that would make him mad so I just decided to rely on my own savings without telling him so he wouldn't get mad at me for questioning his competency to support us on his own. But I guess none of that was

enough because eventually, he served me with divorce papers after one fight since I hadn't spoken to him for about a week, but that was just because he had called me and our baby parasites and I couldn't stand for it because he was the one who had made me quit my job and told me that he would handle everything. For me, I wasn't even mad about the fact that he had been calling me names, but the fact that he had even dragged our unborn kid into it, was unacceptable. When he served me with the divorce papers, I was beyond shocked, and my first instinct was to apologize to him, to beg him to stay but even after that for hours, it did not work and he told me that he was going to leave that day itself and that he wanted nothing to do with me or the child anymore.

And true to his word, he packed his stuff and left and soon enough, he sent me legal documents seeking to terminate his parental rights. A court hearing would be held soon, and all I had to do was respond and attend. But that was only about the custody of our child, the divorce was a whole mess that I still had to deal with. So I got in touch with a friend of mine who works in a law firm and she put me in touch with one of their best divorce attorneys and even paid for me since I could barely afford her. It took me a week to make up my mind about why. to do but eventually, I decided to go through with the divorce, but on my terms. I had been very unhappy in this marriage anyway and realized that the only reason I had been begging him to stay

was because that's just what I was used to, I was used to him, but if I was getting the opportunity to start again, it would be foolish to let it go. Especially given the fact that I was going to become a mother soon, I did not want to let my bad decisions ruin my child's life. So I decided to agree to the divorce, but I wanted alimony to be able to support myself. at least until I'd made enough money after I started working. I thought that it was fair enough because Ezra himself had convinced me to quit my job earlier and filed for a divorce now, it was on him to make sure that I was taken care of. That's where the problem started because he was not willing to pay alimony at all,

and he started manipulating and starting the fact to make me look like a flirt who would constantly hit on other people right in front of him. And apparently I'd also been living off of his money for the past three years after quitting my job on my own and expecting him to take care of everything. He even claimed that the baby hadn't even been his idea. He had not been fine with it, but I had still gone ahead with the pregnancy in spite of his protests. So no, he did not think that he owed me any alimony because it was the only way for me to get more money out of him after he had completely drained his savings, which is what I had done and not him. The only way he had drained his savings was while trying

to impress people, while I had actually drained my savings trying to support us with a relying on him too much. And then, of course, he started accusing me of having an affair with David and said that he had personally seen us together but had apparently forgiven me because he wanted to make it work, but now, he couldn't do that anymore. Things got really messy and ugly, and I got my friends to testify for me by telling the truth, but he got his friends to completely character assassinate me and make me out to be some sort of gold-digging flirt. I even got David to testify and acknowledge that he had only been here for about a month before he went back to New Zealand and he had only met me once but Ezra claimed that we were lying and I guess somehow. He even got to my mother ultimately.

The final nail in the coffin was my mother's decision to testify against me and claim that it was totally believable that I was having an affair with David because I had always had a soft corner for him and as far as she knew Ezra, he would never do anything to hurt me, so I was probably lying. And when we finally wrapped up the entire thing, I did not get any alimony and my mother cut me off as well. He also managed to get out of being a responsible father by terminating his rights, but I'm glad that it happened because I wouldn't want somebody like him to be a part of my son's life anyway. At least I still get child support, no matter how small the amount is. After the divorce, when I realized that I was not going to get any support, I decided not to waste any time crying over spilled milk and started applying for jobs immediately. The divorce had been finalized a month after my son was born and since I had been heavily pregnant while I was in the process of getting divorced, nobody was willing to hire me so I had been living with my friend who had put me in touch with the lawyer and she had been kind enough

to bear all my expenses too. After I gave birth, I got a job within a month and I started working again. It didn't pay much and I couldn't afford to move out of my friend's house for the first couple of months, but eventually, once I had saved enough, I moved into a small apartment. Everything has been a huge struggle for me but with a little help from my friends and a few family members, I've been able to make it work while juggling work and motherhood. I've always felt very guilty leaving my son with other people while I'm at work, but I know that I had to do it. And to make up for that guilt, I decided to splurge on my son's first birthday party that's coming up in a week. I've already sent out the invitations to all my friends, my family members who have been helping out,

and a couple of my coworkers. It's going to be a bit expensive, but I just got a new job two months ago and it pays much better, so I can afford to splurge a little. Besides, I've already started repaying all my debts, so I figured I could afford to spend a little on my son as well. But somehow, my mother found out that I was throwing a birthday party for my son, and she was really offended that she hadn't been invited. Which I think is very surprising, given the fact that she is the reason I'm having to struggle so hard to be able to give my son a good life. She unblocked me on social media and reached out to me a few days back and did not even bother to apologize to me. She just started acting entitled right away and told me that she was very offended that she hadn't been invited to my son's birthday party. Even though she was the grandmother and probably the only grandparent in the picture since my in-laws don't have any contact with me and my dad had passed away a few years back.

So, she went on to accuse me of alienating her grandchild from her and demanded that I invite her. and she didn't stop demanding an invitation. She said that now she wanted to be actively involved in her grandson's life, and she wasn't going to tolerate my narcissistic and selfish behavior anymore. I was shocked that she had the audacity to say something like that, especially after everything that she had done. Not only did she make me lose out on the alimony with her testimony against me, but she had been the one to cut me off and block me everywhere after Ezra manipulated her.

I'm not sure how somebody can get manipulated to testify against their own daughter, but well, that's what happened and it clearly means that she doesn't love or trust me enough. And I still remember that after her testimony, when I had reached out to her to confront her and ask why on earth would she do something like that, she had replied to me saying that she wanted nothing to do with me or my fatherless son and that she did not owe me an explanation for what she had done because I was a cheater and I had failed her. After that, she had been the one to block me so I really think that she is the narcissistic and selfish one here because she didn't even bother to apologize. She just started making demands as if she was entitled to it. So when I read that message from her, I lost my temper, and I replied immediately, saying that I was not going to invite her to any event and she didn't deserve to be a part of my life or my son's life anymore. She's a huge part of the reason why we had been struggling for the past year and now, since she can't fix our life. life. She doesn't deserve to be a part of it either. Then, I blocked her and I thought that would be the end, but now, she has started contacting all my friends, family members who were close to me,

and even a couple of my acquaintances from school, to try and get me to talk to her again so she could explain why she had done what she did in the past. She's been telling everyone that she wants me to know that she's sorry about how she had treated me and she's even apologetic about her tone and the message that she sent me recently. But she just needed one chance to talk to me and explain whatever was going on with her so I could have all the facts and then make up my mind about whether I wanted her in my life or not. But here's the thing, I don't even want to give her a chance to explain. Whatever her reasons were, I don't want to hear it because in my opinion, no reason can ever be good enough to ruin my life as my mother and that's the fact of the matter. I'm just kind

of skeptical about telling people this because it might sound too cold-hearted so I just haven't been responding to anybody yet and I've been in two minds about what to say, so why did I for not wanting to hear my mother out about why she testified against me during my divorce? Update 1, I have decided that I'm not going to change my mind. I thought about it, long and hard, and I literally could not think of a single explanation that she could give to me where I would feel like forgiving her. Whatever she did, it was unforgivable and now I want nothing to do with her and that's what I've told all my friends and family members who she has been reaching out to. I told them, that I really appreciated the fact that they passed on the message to me, but I really want nothing

to do with her, and if she contacts them again, I want them to just block her because this is not something that they need to be involved and I don't understand why she's been dragging them into it anyway. It's been a few days since then and my son's birthday is in just two days, so that's what I'm focusing on. I've already made all the arrangements and stuff, it's just some last-minute stuff, but I'm still trying to keep myself busy so that I don't have to think about the situation with my mother. For a really long time, I've been suppressing all of this, and I've been successful in doing so because I'm so busy all the time that I hardly have time to think about whatever has happened in my life. I keep myself occupied and it's very easy to do that so that I don't have

to think about all the things from last year and even from before that because it's not like Ezra and I was never problematic in the beginning. We were always just wrong for each other. But now, because my mother had reached out to me, it became a little difficult for me to say none of that had ever happened and just keep moving on with my life. I had allowed myself to get weak for a couple of days and let this take over my life, but I'm back to normal now. I know that I have to power through all of this for my son

and that's what I'm going to be doing. I have no time for people like them. I know it's probably not a very healthy approach before anybody decides to comment on it. I'm aware of it, but I can't really afford therapy right. not only financially but also I really just don't have the time for it. Maybe someday when I'll be slightly more financially stable. I'll think about unpacking all of this with a professional but until then,

I guess I'll just keep doing whatever has worked until now. But anyway, all that aside, thank you so much to everybody who commented on my post with advice for me. It was all really helpful and definitely made me feel much better. Update 2. Hey, so my son's birthday was almost too. months ago, and back then, after I had told everybody that they should ignore my mom's messages, everybody had done that and she hadn't talked to me after that. In the past year, I had been quite busy so I hadn't been able to attend any family events either and everybody could understand why so it's not like they took offense.

But last week, I finally managed to take some time off and attend my cousin's engagement party with my son. There, I finally met my mother in person after more than a year and I was kind of taken aback to run into her but after they got over my shop, I decided to just ignore her and get on with my day. For the first hour, we did not speak to each other, but then, she came up to me and started making small talk. She seemed very happy to see my son as well and tried to interact with him, but he was really shy, so he just kept hiding behind me. Anyway, there were a lot of people at the party and I did not want to be rude to her and throw a tantrum, so I decided to be polite to her.

I told her a bit about my job and my son and she told me that she would like to grab some lunch with me soon if I would be open to that. Once again, she started telling me that she had a lot to tell me about everything and that's when I decided to tell her that I was glad that she was trying to make amends but I really didn't want that for myself right now. I told her that the conversation was over and then I walked away and surprisingly, she was respectful of it and did not bother me after that. and I've been thinking about it because I might not forgive her even after hearing her out, but I really do want to know what she has to say. I'm not doing this because I want to salvage our relationship or whatever. I don't have any hopes like that, but it's purely out of curiosity that I want to meet her and hear her out. I have been thinking about it ever since I met her, and I have even spoken to a couple of friends about it.

They think that if I want to get an explanation and maybe get some closure, then I definitely should talk to her because it'll probably help me. So after giving it a lot of thought, I decided to reach out to her after unblocking her yesterday and I told her that I would like to grab lunch with her today. I'm not taking my son with me because I'm not sure if I want to forgive her or not, and if I don't, I don't want her to get attached or whatever. Update 3 so I came back from lunch with my mom about two hours ago and boy, there's a lot to unpack here. As soon as I got to the restaurant, she started thanking me for even showing up, and once we had ordered some food, she did not waste any time beating about the bush and immediately started telling me the last year. Ezra had visited her and shown her a lot of screenshots and pictures and totally convinced her that I had been cheating on him with David. He had even gone to the extent of showing her a screenshot from David, where he was bragging about how the two of us were going to take his money and go off to live together.

He had told my mother that he hadn't presented any of this to his lawyer because he did not want to humiliate me even more since he still loved me, but I think the real reason he did not bring any of that up was probably because all of that was made up, photoshopped and fully fake. It had been just enough to convince my mother because she didn't have any other way to confirm the truth, and it had probably seemed real to her the experts would have found out the truth. Anyway, that's how he got her to testify against me and she had been very upset with me but when she heard about her grandson's first birthday, she felt even more upset because not only was she losing out on time with me since I was a cheater. She was losing out on time with him too

just because of my mistakes and that's why she had been so entitled while messaging me first. But after the message that I had sent back to her, she started doubting herself and that's when she reached out to David to ask him if he had sent any message to Ezra and he showed her proof that he had never even spoken to Ezra. That made her realize that maybe Ezra had lied to her, so she tried to contact him and when he hung up on her as soon as she asked him about it, she realized what a huge mistake she had made. So she tried to get everybody to talk to me and get me to unblock her but by then, it was too late, and I had decided that I did not want to forgive her or even hear her out.

She could totally understand why I did not want to give her a chance because she told me that if she had been in my place, she probably wouldn't have wanted to hear me out either because this was a huge betrayal, so she did not bother me further. She had been trying to be respectful of my boundaries, but she knew that she wanted me to know the truth about what had happened because now, she felt like she could finally help me out and maybe we go back to court again and get Ezra to pay the alimony that he owed me. Since the only way he got out of it the first time was by accusing me of cheating and lying about everything.

So we definitely had grounds to ask for alimony now and with her help, she believed that we could get it done. It was a lot to process and I didn't know how to feel about any of it, so I had to I just told her that I needed some time to think things over and that's what I'm going to be doing now because all of this has been heavy and I feel really weird right now. I don't know if I want to forgive her. I don't know if I even can because I've gotten used to being mad at her. I'm trying to understand her point of view as well, but it's difficult.

I don't know if I should go back to court and demand alimony again if there's even any point to it anymore and I just don't have any answers for anything right now. I guess I'll have to take my time and think about everything before I do something. Update 4. Hey, guys. So, it's been close to six months since my last update, and here's the deal. I decided to go back to court to enforce alimony payments and we went through the whole negotiations and stuff again. But this time, my mother was on my side. And I even reached out to all his friends who had testified against me the first time around.

He had manipulated them the first time, so I decided to do the same thing and I played the most emotional card I could think of, the I'm a struggling single mother all because of you guys. card. Technically, I wouldn't even call it a card that I paid because it was just the truth that I used against them. And I guess a lot of them were already feeling quite guilty for testifying against me and they were ready to testify in my favor this time with the truth. When I told Ezra about it, I said that I was willing to give him a chance to settle out of court as long as he coughed up the money that he owed me and I guess he knew that there was no way out of it anymore, so he decided to agree and now, I'm going to be receiving checks every month until I decide to remarry.

And if I wanted to get back at him, I would have decided not to marry ever again, but I don't think I'm going to do that because I have recently started talking to David again. He reached out to me recently to apologize for not telling me about it when my mother had contacted him to ask about whether he had ever spoken to Ezra, back when she was trying to confirm if Ezra had lied to her or not. He told me that he had wanted to bring it up with me, but at the time, we hadn't been on talking terms because of the divorce and everything and it was just awkward. He reached out to me back then and since then, we've just never stopped talking. We are still figuring things out, but I have started developing feelings for him again and he has confessed that he never really fell out of love with me anyway, which is why he hasn't been able to get serious with anyone. He lives in New Zealand and keeps trying to get me to visit him, and I might do that soon. My mother and I are also working things out and it's going well so far.

Honestly, I'm just figuring things out for myself at the moment and I'm not too sure about anything but I know that I'm loved, and that's all that matters. But my priority right now is my son, and that'll always be true, no matter what happens.