Reddit Stories - Episode #9 - They Stole the Inheritance AITA Stories for Sleep ( Over 9 Hour Compilation )

Episode Date: October 12, 2025

#redditstories #sleep #sleepstories #bedtimestories #fallasleep #aita #inheritance #familydrama #longcompilation SummaryEpisode 9 reveals shocking AITA stories of stolen inheritances and family betrayal in a soothing 9-hour bedtime compilation. These dramatic confessions, paired with calming narration, are designed to help you relax at night, unwind from the day, and drift into deep, restorative sleep while exploring intense family conflicts. Tagsredditstories, sleepstories, fallasleep, bedtimestories, relaxingconfessions, inheritanceaita, familydramacompilation, longbedtimeaudio, soothingnarration, 9hourcompilation, calmingaita, sleeplisteningstories, shockingfamilybetrayal, peacefulnightroutine, bedtimecompilation, deepreststories, stressreliefnarration, nightlisteningaudio, dramaticconfessions, sleepbetterstoriesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered that my spouse of four years has a second spouse and children in his country of origin. He left them behind and insists that he was compelled to do so when he was just seven years old and expects me to help pay them off. I, 24F, met my husband, 36M, Jake, fake name, about four years ago on Tinder. Jake comes from a different country to where I am from, but he was my type and when we started talking I was blown away by how charming and sweet he was. This version of Jake never went away. He has always been this amazingly charming and sweet person. He's the type of person that when you

finished having a conversation with him you feel better about yourself. Just to give you some context. He and I fell in love quickly and got married fast also. He was very eager to start a family as it gave his citizenship in my country more legitimacy. By our second anniversary, we were married and I was pregnant with our son. Jake still works in his home country, and so every few months he flies back and stays there with his mother, or so I thought, completes the work required and then flies back. The rest of the work he can do at home. The last few years with Jake have genuinely been the most amazing years of my life and this is why the last week feels like such a fever dream. This is hard to explain but a person on Facebook messaged me last Tuesday claiming that Jake

had been cheating on me and that they had proof. I genuinely didn't believe this person and at first just ignored them. But then curiosity got the better of me and I messaged back and asked what proof they had. They proceeded to send me a large collection of photos of Jake with another woman and two boys. I know these photos were relatively recent, as he dyed his hair blonde for the Barbie movie, at my request, and has kept it like that ever since. The person told me that the woman in the photo was his wife and the two boys were his sons. I obviously didn't want to believe it, I tried to find ways it was fake. Photoshop, A, whatever I don't even know. I think the person blocked me after that, as their account just comes up as Facebook user now when I look at the chats.

When I had got home I confronted Jake and he started crying and confessed that everything was true and that he had a wife and two sons, who looked to be about 13 and 9, but I could be wrong that's just my best guess, in his home country that he was still married to the woman. I asked him how he could do this to me, how could he have lied to me for so long? I told him I was going to expose him to the other wife and he said not to bother because she already knows and supports him. I left and have been staying with my mother ever since. This has been the hardest week of my life and some days I genuinely haven't wanted to get out of bed. Jake has been texting me saying that he will break things off with the other wife completely if that's what I wanted and he texted me saying he thought I wouldn't

mind which genuinely made me sob into my pillow. I have never felt so low. Part of me, stupidly I know, wants to take him back. The years I had with him were the best I have ever had but this betrayal is just, I don't even know how to explain the hurt I feel. Comments, Bupilops, he chose you because you were young and naive. He was charming and sweet because he was conning you. He had a plan. He had a plan. He had a the whole time. His wife is supporting him because he is bringing her and the kids over once he establishes residency. Edit, this is debatable, as some commenters have pointed out, but either way, operating strictly off of what has been presented here, if he has actually told his wife and that was her actual response. That is likely to be the agreement that was forged, whether or not he actually

honors it. He is a user and is still using you now because he believes he has control over you. Do not go back to this person. What you knew is not reality and he is counting on the illusion he created to be powerful enough for you to stay. You know what you need to do. You're understandably in shock, but please get your family and friends involved to support you, you did nothing wrong. Please consult a lawyer ASAP to see what your options are because like others have said, fraud has been committed. Lolly Brock, if you want to get really mean contact immigration and tell them your husband has a second family and see what happens to his green card. L. GdNCR, I don't even think this is mean. It's just fair. He shouldn't get citizenship through a fraudulent marriage.

Sufficient dinner 27, op you are what is called a putative spouse, one who unknowingly married someone who was already married. Your marriage is invalid and a court could free you of Jake and put an end to his dreams of residency. Do it. Non-Neoferb is, forget about the cheating. If this is true, you've been used to commit fraud. You should be getting an attorney and reporting him ASAP. He committed fraud to get a visa, and his wife back home is his partner on crime. Plus underscore data underscore 1099, 100% and as soon as he has his papers, he will leave her and move his family over that's the reason first wife is okay. Update, hi guys, first and foremost, I would like to thank you all for all the advice and support everyone has given me since I posted my original post.

four days ago. It's been over a week since I left to go stay at my mother and this time away from Jake has been so good for and allowed me to see what was really important to me. Since I originally posted Jake and I had been talking and he let me know that he has broken things off with his other wife. Apparently it wasn't even a legal marriage thing. He explained to me that when he was a child, his parents, and his wife's parents arranged for them to be married. This happened when he was seven years old, by the way. But it wasn't a legal wedding, just like a ceremonial thing that links his family with hers. He said that he never actually loved her, but was required to marry her or his father had to pay so much to his wife's family as like punishment, I guess. I felt really

bad for him, I could tell he didn't want to be with her at all, and was only doing it so his family were okay. The relationship isn't real on either side, which is what he was trying to tell me when he said his wife supports him. They're only married because they're required to be. I'm so relived now he's explained everything to me. He told me he won't be contacting her again but because of this we will have to send a small amount of money to the wife's family for the foreseeable future, which of course is not ideal. But it is better than the alternative of him going over to be with her every few months. I wish he just told me the truth from the start. But don't worry I've signed us up for couples therapy. I know this is likely not the results you guys expected or wanted, so many

of you were so bloodthirsty for him without even understanding what he was going through. The thing that kind of concerns me now is what the relationship will be like between my son and his other half-siblings. I think I would like to foster a relationship between them if I can. I'm just glad to be back with Jake. I love him so much. Comments, commenter, I find this pretty unbelievable. Have you talked with his wife to confirm any of this? Oop, not per se, but I can tell usually when he's lying and he wasn't this time. Commenter, except for the whole double life thing right? Apart from that you read him like a book.

Commenter, info, will you be paying into this money that is ostensibly going to the other wife's family? Or will he be paying it solely from his income? Oop, I don't have an income ATM, so it can't come from me. Commenter, not a real marriage. yet they're half-siblings. Um, Oop, he had them before he even knew me. Commenter, yeah, you would have also been ten to eleven when the oldest was born.

Does that not shout red flag to you? Oop, what has that got to do with anything? He wasn't dating me then? Funny Goose 56-16, love how she glossed over that his wife knew all along. Of course she knew, she's in on the plan. As soon as he can afford it, wife and kids will be on the next plane over, and Op will be out on her naive butt. CBM-984, I'm so relieved that he's been lying to you the whole time, came up with an

explanation that paints him as a victim, doesn't let his real wife weigh in, and is more than happy to abandon his two kids. WTF. La underscore Fancy underscore me. TBH I know in a lot of places women are just expected to marry and have kids. And they don't have the rights or option to start life on their own. So in that situation, I can understand a lot of women just want to live in peace and quiet with their kids and consider themselves fortunate if there is no abuse and they are financially provided for. It's grim but probably rings true for a lot of women all over the world. So I can imagine that she probably did know he'd found a different foreign woman to shack up with and was just happy to have the freedom. Or perhaps was hoping he'd financially be able to make a

better life for them if he was living slash working there. Or as you've seen, you'd, said was hoping this would open the door for her and her kids to immigrate themselves. I can fully believe that if you marriage is all about duty, you may not necessarily care to have your husband around or if he's fucking someone else. But he deceived op from day one. And he's deceiving her still. And now he's just casually agreed to abandon all his responsibilities, including his children. I hope for his first wife's financial contribution is enough to support her and her kids and that he never goes crawling back, because she may not have the freedom to say no if he does, and may not have any options to provide for herself and her kids. There are sadly still

plenty of countries where a woman's well-being is entirely dependent on her husband or her family. It's funny how op has been convinced her husband had no choice and is just a victim of the situation. When she was put into a situation she didn't consent to, due to him and his, previous, slash X. Life in truth may very well not have had any options and may still remain without any, partially thanks to him, partially potentially due to culture or legislation. So in this situation it was actually him who was the only one who actively had choices presented to him and chose to take the freedom slash options away from the women in his life. Now on to the next story.

Story 2 Golden Child's sister promised to let me have my special wedding year, then blindsided me by deciding to get engaged to her boy. boyfriend of six months and married a month after my wedding. I, 24F, am planning my wedding to my partner of almost six years. We got engaged at the end of November 2023 and we set our wedding date for September 2024. Before we get into the current situation I want to provide a little context. When we were growing up it was always abundantly clear that my sister, 20F, was the family favorite. She was always given special privileges and talked more highly of than me.

For this reason, we didn't get along during our childhood and most of our teenage years. After attending therapy as an adult, I came to understand that I couldn't hold my parents' treatment towards her against her because she was a child and the only people to blame are my parents. After working through that, her and I became really close. For the past few years we have been inseparable. She's my best friend and I am hers. I asked her to be my MO and she was so excited. She started dating her current BF, 21M, in late October of 2023.

Of course, he just so happens to be everything my family has ever dreamed of in a son-in-law. The exact opposite of my partner. The past six months they have been together my sister's partner is all my family talks about. They are all about model appointments. Right after my engagement my sister said that when she found out about my upcoming engagement, she made it clear to her BF that this year was about me. so she didn't want him to bring up anything marriage-related until after my wedding. She said she wanted this to be my year.

I've dreamed of this wedding my entire life and maybe it's selfish to say, but I just wanted this one thing to actually be about me. This leads us to the current situation. Last night my sister, 20F, and her boyfriend of six months, 21M, fasedined me together and told me that they decided to get married. They said that he would go to ask my parents either today or tomorrow for permission and then he would immediately go by a ring. They then said that they want me to help plan the official proposal which will happen in two to three weeks with the wedding set for November 2024. I told them that I needed time to process and I ended the face time. An hour later, my sister called me to talk about it and I was sobbing.

I explained to her how badly it hurt me that she of all people would do this after she promised that she would let this be my year. I explained to her that I want to be happy. for her, but I am grieving the loss of my special our family hears about their engagement. It will be as if I and my wedding doesn't exist. She cried while I explained myself and then said, Don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it.

I have to go and hung up the phone. I haven't heard from her since. Right now I feel like I have lost my wedding and my best friend. I am the villain in her story for ruining her moment and she is the villain in my story for taking this milestone for me even after she promised she wouldn't. Where do we go from here? Ada for not just being happy for her?

Comments, FAFO 13, NTA. But I would definitely take a step back from your entire family. Your sister wants to be the main character and it seems like she's jealous because you were getting all the attention. Disastrous Estiche this. Deep down, she's not really your best friend. Plan your wedding and have a fabulous time with people who actually want to celebrate you and don't want to secretly compete with you.

Latence are 22. I'd be really interested to find out why the sudden change from we will not talk about marriage until after Ops Wedding to We Are Getting Engaged now, six months into dating, at 20 years old, happened. I bet would be pregnancy personally. Normal rewards 72-57-YUP. I bet the sister is pregnant. Otherwise underscore degree underscore 729.

NTA. She did it on purpose. She got engaged six months into the relationship. Now you have to plan her official proposal, after that they will ask you to plan other events for her wedding. They not even officially engaged and already have a wedding date coincidentally one month after yours. If they look for venues, they are going to find one available for a month prior to your wedding. Your sister gives the vibe of an immature child that needs to get something first at all costs

and that of a high school bully that says something then does something else entirely. Asparagus overall 84.54. So they're getting engaged and married within a year? And they've only been together a year. Yeah, that's going to turn out well. That being said, I'd be upset as well. Your sister sounds like a jerk. I'd tell them to go kick rocks.

One Tone underscore 4,608 up. They met six months ago, and they are planning to get married in the month of their one-year dating anniversary. I have not figured out why things are moving so fast, but I hope to get some answers on that soon. Along the watchtower, could sis have a bun in the oven? One Tone underscore 4,608 up. She hasn't mentioned pregnancy to me at all. However, if she is pregnant I really wish she would have come to me and explain the rushed engagement and wedding under that context.

As it stands, I'm really upset. with the way she chose to go about this. Along the watchtower, I would hope she could better explain it. I was hoping it wasn't jealousy on her part and would explain the quick engagement. Maybe a break from your family would be helpful. Or just low contact. Update, thank you all for the advice and the comments of my original post. I'm sorry for taking so long to post an update for you.

By the way, the sister is not pregnant. I spoke with my sister on Tuesday, of this past week and it was not a very positive conversation. I was still extremely hurt and she was angry with me for ruining her excitement. I ended that conversation by telling her that at the end of the day, she would have to make her choice on whether they would go through with this engagement and wedding or wait until after my wedding based on what felt most right to her. She left me on Reed and I didn't reach back out because I felt like the ball was in her court. Last night she reached out to me and apologized for hurting my feelings. She said that she doesn't want things to be bad between us over

this. She then started asking me more questions about how I felt. After some more explanation, I asked her if she had talked to her boyfriend about our phone call. She said that she did, and when I asked how it went she said that he told her she needed to reach out to me and try to make things right. She said it took her a while to reach out because she was still trying to process her emotions, but ultimately she knew he was right. I asked her what they decided to do and she said that after several days of talking it over, they have decided to postpone the proposal until after my wedding in September. She said that their new plan is to get engaged soon after my wedding and planned their wedding for early 2025. They have not said anything to our family about the engagement

and my family has been blissfully unaware of the state of my sister and I's relationship. I guess you could say that this is the best case scenario for this situation. There is still quite a bit of tension between my sister and I, but hopefully that will get better with time. Comments, Maeve Carpenter, you need to make sure she understands she can't be proposed to at your wedding. Out of ducks to give, that's exactly what I was thinking. Maeve Carpenter, I worked in weddings for a while. I'm not saying sister is going to do it, but the money spent on security to keep an eye on the two of them in particular would be worth its weight in gold for peace of mind. 30CES 101, If I were you I wouldn't trust my sister.

Please be careful. Basic underscore Professional 95. If op goes scorch earth with her sister, then that will definitely result in her being spiteful and making the announcement before slash during the wedding. So her best bet would try to keep the peace, but remain guarded. That broken trust won't be fixed easily, if at all. Purple Lightning Song 50-50 the sister made peace to use the wedding as her proposal backdrop. Basic underscore Professional 95.

Did you just keep this update short? Because Apologized for Hurting your feelings is a bit of an understatement of what happened. She broke your trust. She knew this has been a problem for you for years, to the point of you needing therapy, yet she just glossed over that in her moment of excitement. I'm glad she's trying to fix what she did, but that also requires to a admit what she has done. I hope you just kept it short and she owned up to everything. Fleet underscore and underscore flotilla. Your sister may not be pregnant, but I question the idea

of talking proposals and marriage after six months. I would recommend you speak to her about the insanity of that choice, but given the situation as it is, it's probably best not to add any fuel to a still smoldering fire. One Tone underscore 4,608 op. My parents have been encouraging her to do this since they hit the one month in their relationship. I wholeheartedly believe that my parents are more interested in getting him into the family. He's their dream son, rather than looking out for her best interest. Because of this, a couple months ago I sat her down and had a hard conversation. She was upset with me for a couple days, but I told her that I could not live with myself if I

didn't at least give her another perspective on this relationship. She lives with our parents, so she is hearing their perspective every day. I explained issues that can come up with someone that you don't fully know yet. And I told her that at the end of the day, I wanted to protect her from ending up in a situation that I have been in in the past. I tried to explain to her that some things you only learn about a person and time. Right now you're in the honeymoon phase of the relationship and that's not an accurate representation of what the relationship will be.

People are usually on their best behavior at the beginning and then over time as they become more comfortable and the new starts wearing off things can change. I finish the conversation by saying that if he really loves you and has all the best intentions with you, he will still be here a year from now. A good man will not walk away from you because you want a date for one year before getting engaged slash married. I guess she didn't take what I said to heart and decided to take her chances. I hope you enjoy this story. Realize my supervisor was covertly financing her partner's lavish vacations with funds deducted from my pay. Therefore, I collected proof of their relationship and informed the Human Resources Department.

Greetings, all. I need some advice. I recently discovered something shocking at work, and I don't know what to do about it. I spoke to a few of my friends and they thought I should keep quiet and not say a word about it. I did not take that advice and it seems like I am in deeper trouble now. Let me give you some background first. I am Melissa 33F. I am a software engineer. I work at a mid-sized tech company. I've been there for about five years now. My job is pretty stable and I've always been happy with my work. There's no stress or too much work.

My team ends up closing the projects to the client's satisfaction and our superiors cannot ask for more. I also get along with my colleagues, and I have a good relationship with my lead manager, Sarah. Or at least I thought I did. We had a recent job interview drive when our HR interviewed close to 200 people to find the right person for a role in my team. I also sat down with her to narrow down the resumes and give calls to deserving candidates. We are flexible like that. We like to help each other out wherever possible, but only when our tasks are done for the day. I came across Tom's resume, 28M.

He is very good work experience with some of the leading tech companies in the country. I was surprised about why he would want to apply with our company if he worked with them. But, I shouldn't be judging someone without knowing their story. I didn't want to do that, so I told my HR that Tom might be a good fit. My HR was happy to take his interview and he was hired. It took about one week for the other two new employees to join but Tom. Tom started coming to the office within two days. What's more strange is that the team threw him a grand welcome party because Sarah insisted.

I assumed that when other employees also join, they will be receiving the same welcome. But after a week, they were given their work kit and that was all. I let it go. Tom was more talented than the others so maybe the company wants to take special care of him. It did not go unnoticed that Sarah was the most the one with more excitement when Tom joined. Our team members also started discussing about the same in the office cafeteria. But we all thought that Tom would be assigned some big project so they are trying to help him settle in first. Let me tell you a little bit about Sarah, 37F.

She has been with the company for over 10 years now. She was a very hardworking person and her work paid off. She was given promotions more frequently and is now our lead manager. There's also office gossip that she's always the favorite because, she is related to the C.O. But, I personally feel that Sarah has so much to offer to the company. She is the face of so many projects. We receive a lot of suggestions from her and our work becomes more easier when she guides us. I don't blame people giving her more preference than the other managers. She brings in a lot of money and it is only fair that people give her credit for the

same. I got along with Sarah really well. We had our lunch together, we share small, we share smoke sometimes when we take a break from work. She is a joyful person with a very happy energy. She doesn't poke her nose where it is not necessary. I even looked up to her in a lot of situations. But I cannot say the same now. After the other employees joined, the work picked up pace. We were very busy with multiple projects. Tom proved to be an asset. Within a month, Sarah announced that Tom will be going to Maldives to take care of a project with a client. As far as I was aware, we had no client in Maldives. We assumed, maybe it could be a new client and they want to motivate newcomers to take up

responsibility. Our team lead insisted that he will join Tom on the trip, but Sarah refused. She said Tom can take care of it himself and there's no point in my team leads work getting disturbed. We all agreed and gave Tom a nice send-off. He stayed there for a week. We had no communication with him. No details about the new project were shared with us. We were also neck-deep in work so we paid no attention to what Tom was doing in Maldives.

After 12 days or so, we hear from our team lead that Tom will be going from Maldives to Hawaii for a follow-up project. We do have a client in Hawaii, but another team member of ours always took care of the details there. She was confused why Tom was suddenly replacing her. Sarah assured my colleague that this was in no way a replacement. Tom was anyways out of the country so he can handle the travel and take care of things. Apparently, he did really well with the Maldives client. Even the CEO is happy to know that we managed to grab the big fish or that's what we called the high-paying clients.

My colleague was disappointed because she always did her best to keep the client satisfied. Even the client was comfortable with her. With Tom in the picture, she felt like her work was being discredited. We all motivated her to not think negatively and look at things at the bright side. Now, she is free to accept new projects and explore more challenging tasks. Maybe, the company has something new to offer to her. With that, she started feeling a little less sad. A month after the newcomers joined, we received our paycheck.

I received my pay stub and noticed that my salary was left. lower than usual. At first, I thought it was a mistake. I checked my previous pay stubs and realized this never happened to me. There are a few tax cuts that may change the numbers a little, but this is huge. A few thousand dollars. I was confused and worried. I needed that money to pay my bills and take care of my family. Being a single mother, the pay cut can affect my lifestyle. I will have to compromise on a lot of things every day. But, I thought the company may have made the changes for a reason and did not approach the HR. No one else seemed to have a problem.

I kept quiet. There is no use of making a scene about it. Also, I was worked lesser than usual that month. My sister was getting married so I took a week's leave of absence. I never did that before. I didn't have the need. I thought maybe because of my leave they cut my pay. The next month, the same thing repeated.

I noticed some changes at work. Tom started going on business trips to holiday locations like Bali, among others. The other newcomers did not receive the same treatment. They stayed in the office, did the work that is fit for junior workers and received a pay that is much lesser than Tom's. It was not just me, a few of my other team members also had pay cuts that month. We all gathered in the cafeteria to get ourselves a cup of coffee. That's when we discussed the issue and realized that the pay cuts were not just my problem but the others also received a lesser pay the previous month. I decided to talk to Sarah about it.

She'd definitely know something about it. Before rushing to the HR, if I could get a work with her, maybe, the issue could be solved. Well, that's what I thought. Sarah seemed surprised and said that she was not aware of this change. She promised that she would look into it. A few of her. A few A few days later, she told me there was a mistake in the payroll system, and it would be fixed soon. I trusted her and waited for the next paycheck. But the problem continued. My salary was still lower, and Tom was still going on those trips. I started feeling suspicious. Why was my salary being cut while Tom was enjoying these luxury trips? I decided to do some digging. I talked to some colleagues in the HR department and checked our company's expense reports. What I found was

shocking. It turned out that the money for Tom's trips was coming from the salary cuts of a few employees, including me. Sarah had authorized these cuts without telling anyone. I couldn't believe it. I felt betrayed and angry. She lied to my face that she didn't know anything about the new change while authorizing these trips that don't seem to hold any value to the company. Tom hardly visited office anymore. Even when he is not on those trips, he sits at home and doesn't show up to work. No one says anything about it. Because Sarah used to defend him that after such tiring trip, the young champ deserves a break. When other people on the team go on business trips, they are given a one-day leave for rest and they used to come back to work the following day.

It is more and more evident that Tom was indeed being set free from his professional responsibilities. Sarah is giving it to him. Why would Sarah do this? Why was Tom getting special treatment? Also, we don't hear about any developments in Tom's projects. That's not how things were before he showed up at the workplace. Everything was very open and available to all employees. If Sarah lied to me, I should go ask her why she did it, right? It involved my hard-earned money. I had to cancel my kids swimming in aerobics classes because of the lack of funds. If this goes on, I will have to make several changes that are not fair to me or my child. The others may not find this to be a huge problem.

They have their partners at home whose salaries may balance the cuts. They did not say a word but I couldn't do the same. Also, Sarah lied to me. I took Sarah's time and questioned her again. This time, she was defensive and tried to downplay the situation. She said the trips were important for business and that I would be compensated later. But I didn't buy it. Something didn't add up.

If they were planning to compensate me, why not discuss the change with me before they put it into effect? Should I not be knowing about the change in my salary? Why were only a few of us affected? Why was Tom the only one going on these trips? I asked her the same and she got angry. She said I shouldn't be interfering with the decisions of the superiors. That is not how corporate system works and I should be aware of it after spending a good portion of my life working. Well, should I be aware?

Because, in my professional career, I've not seen managers sending a single employee to holiday destinations and calling it a necessity. We had a team party that weekend. We decided to visit a pub near our office. While we sat down and ordered our drinks and food, someone mentioned Tom. Everyone started talking about his strange trips. A few of us also told how we think that maybe our salary cuts are funding his trip. We all decided to dig deeper. We happened to invite one new joinee from the HR department to join us.

She hangs out with us in the office so we thought we'll include her too. While we were talking about Tom, she seemed very uncomfortable. While we were leaving, I asked her if something was troubling her. She initially refused but the guilt was very clear on her face. I assured her that I won't let her name come out and requested her to help me. I also told her how I was being unfair to my child because I cannot afford his classes. She gave in when I mentioned my kid. What she told me shocked me so much that I had to take a break to digest it.

Tom and Sarah are dating each other. They've been together even before Tom joined the company. We have strict policies at workplace. A couple cannot work on the same team. If you are married, one of the partner will be assigned to a different team. More importantly, if one of the partners is in a higher work position, the other partner cannot work under them. Sarah kept it all a secret.

I asked the girl from the HR department if she was sure. Because Sarah is married and I don't think she'd cheat. on her husband. They seem pretty close. The girl laughed and said loyalty is just for the show. Look at Tom. He is so handsome and well-built. Why wouldn't a lady want to sleep with him? I became very sad. My salary was funding Sarah's extramarital affair. The result is that my kid is not able to attend his classes like before. I have to see him sit disappointed at the house while his friends went to the classes every day. Just imagine how angry I must have been. It wasn't just about the money anymore. It was about the betrayal and the unethical behavior. Sarah was using

company resources to fulfill her personal desires. And Tom is also to be blamed. He knows what is happening and taking advantage of the situation to enjoy luxury trips at the expense of others. I felt trapped. I wanted to report this to HR, but I would was scared. I also didn't have any proof. The HR girl wouldn't come out in my support. She already made it clear that she won't be involving in any of it. She is new and her career may be affected. Yes, she is right. Sarah had a lot of power in the company. Tom also earned a reputation for having a bad temper. I didn't know how he would react if he found out I was investigating him. I was also worried about my job.

What if Sarah decides to teach me a lesson? What if I lost my job? I had a child to support, and I couldn't afford to be unemployed. I can walk up to the HR office and place my doubts on the table. I know they would take it seriously and investigate even if Sarah is related to the COO. But Sarah will hear about it. She will target me. What should I be doing?

What do you people think? Should I go tell the HR manager that says, such practices were happening at the workplace? Or should I keep quiet and let it go? I can also look for another job and silently leave the company. But the change will be hard on me. I also got used to my work environment here and leaving a company that I served for five years is not easy. It's been six months since Tom's first trip.

He has been on six already. I don't think it is going to stop anytime soon. Sarah is not scared of anyone finding out. I must appreciate her for the bravery here, but her personal interests are against me. What should I do? Can you please give me some suggestions? Did any one of you experience the same or maybe, similar situations at your workplace? How did you deal with it? Update 1. Thank you so much for your suggestions.

I took them into consideration. I waited another three months to see if Sarah and Tom would slow down. But, they did not. By this point, everyone in my team was angry and frustrated. Even my team leads started seeing smaller numbers on his pay slip. I did not tell them anything about Tom and Sarah's affair. I didn't want to get in trouble. They did the digging on their own and found out about it.

They asked me if I would join them to the HR office. I was hesitant and said I needed time to think. They were okay with letting me decide. I should thank them for that. If they would have forced me, I seriously don't know what I would have done. My daughter kept asking me to buy her these pretty shoes for about two months now. I used to make up reasons and refuse. That night, she burst out crying saying how I don't take her out for fine dining anymore.

Her classes are cancelled. I won't buy her the shoes. She accused me of not loving her anymore. I felt really bad. I love my kid. I cannot let her think that her mother doesn't love her. That is the motivation I needed to say yes to my team. You remember I told you about my colleague who used to take care of the Hawaii client? She took the whole fuss to her heart.

She indeed dig deeper than the others and found out very disturbing things. There is a reason Sarah sends Tom to these locations. She likes it when Tom goes to these places and sex chats with her from the exotic locations. She gets a thrill out of it. They enjoy this virtual makeout session or or something and Sarah loves it. During all these months, there were several times when I felt powerless and anxious. Every time I saw Tom, I felt a mix of anger and fear. He would come back from his trips, talking nonstop about the amazing places he visited. And Sarah would act like

nothing was wrong, praising Tom for his hard work. When you're trying to do the right thing, the universe will help you. I guess that is what happened to us too. We were looking for some solid proof to report Sarah. This was very necessary. We all knew they'd let her off with a warning and probably fired Tom, but she'd still be here. And what's worse, she will target all of us and make our professional environment very disturbing. I got the proof. One day, I overheard a conversation between Tom and another colleague. Tom was bragging about his latest trip to Dubai. He mentioned how easy it was to get Sarah to approve the trip. He said something about Sarah being so desperate and how he could get her to do anything he wanted.

That's when I realized how manipulative Tom was. He was exploiting Sarah's attraction to him and using it to his advantage. And Sarah is not a baby that she can't understand what's happening with her. She is letting it go because she is getting something in return. When I had the chance, I pulled my phone out and recorded the conversation. I ensured it was a video and not an audio because then Tom and Sarah would argue that we tried to mimic Tom's voice. I didn't want to take any more chances. My team members and I met up in our team leads house and discussed how to proceed further. We came to the conclusion that it

is finally time to expose their affair to the HR department. This meeting happened two days ago and we are planning to go to our HR manager tomorrow. I don't know what will happen there, but I'm hoping for the best. Let's wish that this doesn't backfire on my face. Update 2. Hello, came back to give you an update on what happened with the HR manager. We all took the record of our pay stubs, emails from Sarah, and the other evidence that I recorded. We scheduled a meeting with HR and presented all the evidence. He was shocked and assured us they would investigate. I felt a bit relieved in the morning but in the comfort of my room now, I am anxious.

What will happen next? Will they call Sarah and Tom and talk to them about it? Will they call of us together and discuss things right in front of them? I am very scared but there's no point in worrying while lying on my bed. I should wait and see what happens. Update 3. It's been two weeks since we raised our complaints to the HR manager. We received a call today.

The HR manager wanted to speak to all of us. While we were going to his office, we crossed Sarah and she seemed like she was crying. She glared at us and stormed off without saying a word. We just looked at each other's faces and silently walked to the cabin of our HR manager. The HR told us that they had conducted their investigation and found that my claims were true. Sarah and Tom were both suspended pending further action. The surprising part was that Tom ratted out Sarah. He was so scared that everyone will blame things on him.

He said Sarah manipulated him into doing it and if he didn't agree she threatened. that she'd end his professional career. He said that she used her extensive professional network as leverage and said she'd never let any other company hire him. That's absolute BS. He is an equal partner in this whole thing. Just because he is under the scanner, he pushed Sarah under the bus. If word of this scandal should come out,

no one would ever hire him anyway. But we are a meat-sized company, we don't have the time or energy to focus on spoiling someone else's career. It will be difficult, but if Tom steps out, he will eventually find a job. I cannot say the same about Sarah, though. HR assured me that my salary would be corrected and that I would receive back pay for the months I was underpaid. He also thanked us all for bringing the issue to their attention. I was scared for nothing.

It has been a tough few months, and I'm still processing everything. Finally, I will be able to buy those shoes for my daughter and also send her back to the classes. Update 4. I thought things would be over once Tom and Sarah got what they deserve. But it only took few days for the office atmosphere to get affected. After HR suspended Sarah and Tom, there was a lot of gossip in the office. People had so much to say about what had happened. Some people thought it was just a payroll mistake, while others suspected something more serious.

I kept my head down and tried to stay out of the rumors. people were on edge, wondering if they would be next. Morale was low, and productivity dropped. I felt guilty for causing this disruption, even though I knew it wasn't my fault. I had done the right thing, but it didn't make the situation any easier. But it had to be done. Sarah and Tom couldn't have kept going at our expense. Sarah and Tom's suspension was extended as they were not cooperating with the HR team

and were simply blaming each other without accepting that they made a mistake. The office felt strange without them. Sarah had been a big part of our team, and her absence was noticeable. Tom's absence was less impactful, well, obviously because he was never present. But some people still talked about him. Many of my colleagues expressed concern for Sarah, saying she had always been a good manager. I have to agree with that. She was indeed very good.

Others were angry and felt betrayed by her actions. I am one of them. But the show must go on. We cannot concentrate on Sarah and let our work efficiency reduce. We are all doing good now. I still feel weird, but I guess I will get over it with time. Thank you so much for all your suggestions and words of support. I was able to gain the courage to do the right thing with your help.

Thanks a ton. I hope you enjoy this story. discovered my negative mother ridiculing my relationship and career in secret. Consequently, I rescinded her invitation to my celebration for my upcoming baby, but she is now portraying herself as the aggrieved party and spreading rumors. Lies about me. So around three days back, I had my baby shower and my mom showed up, uninvited. I'll tell you guys why she was not invited, it's because my mom is just crazy.

There is no better or more polite way to put it, that's just how I'm. it is and it has been like that for quite some time. I guess it happened when she and my father got divorced and my dad started dating his co-worker two years after that. I am 26F, my mom is 49F, and my dad is 52M. His girlfriend, Sally, is 38F. I know it must sound like my dad and Sally are the people who are in the wrong here, but they are actually the good guys. My mother just hates them both because she thinks that my dad has been cheating and has been emotionally involved with her since before the divorce, which is definitely not the case. To be honest, I don't even know why she was so torn up after the divorce because she had initiated it in the first place. My parents had always had a

very troubled marriage, I had never seen the two of them happy together since I was a child, and when they got divorced seven years ago, I was actually relieved. Because I thought that finally, both of them would have an opportunity to get ahead in life and actually be happy. It had become very evident to me throughout my childhood that maybe they had been in love at some point, I can't deny that, but they were not in love anymore. My mother was a particularly difficult person to live with because, on some days, she would be in a perfectly good mood and would be all sunshine and rose, but on the bad days, she would turn into a raging monster and constantly look for an opportunity

to get mad at somebody. Most of the time, it was my father that she started yelling at the most tiniest and insignificant of things. She usually avoided screaming at me if she could help it because I stayed out of her way, and she knew that if she started yelling at me, I wouldn't hold back either because I was just as outspoken and loud as she was. And whenever we did end up fighting, I always kept screaming and yelling right back at her until she gave up so, she kind of knew better than to mess with me. And that's me as a teenager, so you can only imagine how back.

it must have been if she tried to pick a fight with me as an adult. That's why all her anger and frustration ended up getting taken out on my father. He'd put up with it for a long time and even though he would fight back occasionally, he would mostly just ignore it and try to get on with his day whenever she had her little rage outbursts. He knew that she would go back to normal in a day or two and apologize to him, so he never bothered to get mad. Both of us are familiar with the pattern that my mom followed and weren't really bothered

whenever she would start screaming about something. I would usually stay out of this, and would only consult my father when the fight was done, or rather when my mother was done screaming at him. It was a difficult time for all of us. But then out of the blue, one day, my father called me up when I was in college, and he told me that my mother had filed for a divorce

because she was not happy with him anymore, and after I had left for college, she had realized that all these years, she had only been with him because of me. But now that I was gone, the glue holding the family was gone, and I was grown up, so she did not feel the need to stick with him in an unhappy marriage anymore. I remember telling him that I was thankful that was happening and even he sounded pretty relieved that day.

The reverse was an amicable one and they wrapped things up pretty quickly. I was happy that they were separated now, even though it meant that it would be very awkward for them to be in the same room after that. I did keep in touch with my mother because she was mostly pleasant. except when it came to matters regarding my father. I guess you could say I had a complicated relationship with her, but I never thought about cutting her off anything of the sort because I think that would be a little too extreme.

She was there for all of my birthdays after they divorced, even though it was kind of awkward for her, and my dad would be in the same room, especially after he had started dating Sally. The two of them also attended my wedding and for my sake. My mother would keep her mouth shut during the pits, but as soon as she and I were on our own, she would start ranting about how much she hated Sally.

She was convinced that my dad had been emotionally involved with her from before they got divorced since Sally had been quite an old friend of his. But I can assure you guys that it was not possible because I know my father, and he would never cheat. Even though he was miserable in the marriage, I know for a fact that he would never do this to my mom, or anybody else, for that matter. Also, he and Sally had started reading two.

two whole years after the divorce. If they had really wanted to show that they had been cheating, they probably wouldn't have waited that long. Anyway, my point is that my mother was not right about the things that she believed, but no matter how much I tried to convince her, she would just not listen to me and tell me that I did not know anything. That was kind of frustrating, but I would understand that she was upset and did not let it get to me. She essentially believed that my father had traded her in for a younger model, even though Sally was just younger, but not exactly young. Even though she was in her late 30s I don't think that qualifies to be young, to be honest. She would pointedly ignore my dad and Sally every time they had to meet and make rude remarks

about her to me in private. I did not find that nice because, to be honest, Sally was a really nice person. She and I had always had a very cordial relationship and I guess that's what annoyed my mother about it because she could not stand the fact that I liked her. I tried my best to strike the right balance between them and so far, I have been able to have a good relationship with both my parents. I have been married for almost two years now and at the beginning of the year, my husband and I found out that I was pregnant. We were overjoyed, and we even threw her party to announce our pregnancy. Both my parents were incredibly happy for me and have been very supportive so far. But about two weeks ago, I was visiting my mother because my aunt had come over and I wanted to meet her.

She lives in London and comes to visit us all once a year, so I thought I would pay her a visit and we were all sitting around and having a fun time. But at one point, I had to get up and leave because I had to go to the restroom and since I'm pregnant and quite big right now, it took me a total of six minutes to get up, do my business, and then come back. It used to take me three minutes, but pregnant women can understand the struggle. I had left my phone in the room and had accidentally started recording before I left. I had been clicking photos of myself, wearing a necklace that my mother had said I could borrow, just to see how it looked. And after that, I left the room, so maybe that's how I accidentally

ended up recording. But when I came back, I stopped recording but forgot to delete the video. It was not until I got back home that I remembered about it and I was about to delete it, but I thought that I might play it, just for fun. I did not expect anything outrageous, but boy was there a surprise for me. It had started recording from the point that I had kept my phone down on the couch, where I was sitting, so the faces were not visible, and the video had only captured the ceiling, but I was lucky enough to have a good microphone and it caught the entire conversation that my mother and my aunt were having was while I was not in the room.

As soon as I was out of earshot, my aunt made a comment about how big I was and asked my mother how many months I was along. She told her that I was seven months along, to which my aunt said that she did not expect me to be this big and almost expected me to be close to my delivery date. It was not a genuine conversation, and there was not even a bit of concern in their voice. I knew that she was making fun of me, and my mother actually joined in, which came as a huge surprise to me because she knew that I was kind of insecure about all the weight that I was gaining and how big I had gotten during the pregnancy and she had been telling me that it was no big deal. But behind my back, while talking to my aunt, she started joking about how she thought I was going to give birth to triplets because of how fat I was now.

Then, she started making even worse comments about me, saying that she hoped that the baby did not get my face or my nose and was going to suggest that I start saving up for a nose job because that would be pretty necessary in the future. They started making fun of all my insecurities and were really laughing it up behind my back. And then, they started to talk about my dad and Sally. My aunt was the one who asked her how that was going, and my mother started telling her about how annoyed she was that I always seemed to suck up to Sally as if I was her minion, and called me one of my dad's cronies. Then, my aunt started speculating that maybe I was sucking up to my dad and Sally because I wanted them to invest in my business, which is so wrong because I had already presented my business model to them and they liked it. I did not need to suck up to them. They liked me for who I was, and they believed in me, which is why they were investing. not because of any other reason. I expected my mother to jump in and defend me at some point, but they just kept going on and on until I came back. So not only were they making fun of my looks,

they were also underestimating my talent and I could not tolerate it. I wasn't that upset about my aunt saying these things because I knew that she was a vapid gossip, but I was just very disappointed that my mother was partaking in this, especially after I had tried to pretend that she was a good person all my life, even though everybody else seemed to dislike her. I had come up with excuses for her all my life, but that one video just ruined everything. After that video, I was really pissed. I had always tried to defend my mother, but that video proved everybody else right and showed me just how wrong I was for trying to keep in touch with that woman. The only reason I had been trying to have a good relationship with her was because at the end of the day, no matter how she was as a person,

she was still my mother. But after that, I decided to cut her off and I didn't even send her an invitation to my baby shower. I also told everybody else who was invited, to make sure that they did not breathe a word of this to her, but somehow, she found out. I guess it must have been somebody who did not understand the gravity of the situation and decided to be loose-lipped around her. So on the day of my baby shower, a couple of days ago, after everybody had arrived and we were having a great time playing games, she decided to storm into the venue and demand an explanation as to why she had not been invited. I knew that she was really relishing the opportunity to create drama and draw attention to herself since that's what she is most used to. But I was not going to give her

the satisfaction of getting me all riled up, so I decided to keep a cool head and instead of yelling at her or fighting with her or having any sort of confrontation, I decided to just play the video on my phone. I put it on loudspeaker and stood up so that everybody who was present at the party could see what was going on. Everybody was quiet, and there was nothing much to actually watch in the video. It was just the audio that mattered so everybody was dumbstruck at what they were hearing. I know that nobody had particularly high expectations from my mother, but even then, this was shocking. After playing the video, I decided to just stay quiet and wait for her to speak up because she was the one who had stormed in here and was trying to stir up drama. I thought that

maybe she was going to start apologizing or at least defend herself, but to my surprise, she went the opposite way and started yelling at me, accusing me of violating her privacy and saying that she was going to call the cops on me and sue me for what I had done. I was too shocked to say anything because I didn't even understand how she came to that conclusion, and thankfully, my husband decided to step in at that moment. And he told her to leave or he would be forced to call the cops and unlike her, we had genuine reason to do that since she was crashing a party that she hadn't even been invited to. Anyway, after she was threatened by the cops, she finally left, but not before she told me that I would have to pay the price for this.

Since I had humiliated her and she was not going to let this go. My dad and Sally were also really upset by the comments that my mother had made in right now, nobody from the family is speaking to her. Not even people from her own family, since some of my relatives from my mother's side of the family were present at the baby shower and they heard everything. And they passed that information on, so now everybody from her side of the family also knows about the things that she said, and they don't want to talk to her. And she's blaming me for all of it and claiming that she's going to sue me for invading her privacy without her consent. I'd offer playing a recording of my mom talking crap about me at my baby shower. Update 1, hi, thank you so much for supporting me and making me realize that I had nothing to feel guilty about.

I also don't have anything to feel scared about because obviously, my mother does not have a case against me. It's not a crime to accidentally end up recording somebody on my phone and it's not like I'm using that for anything illegal, so it doesn't matter. At least in our state, I don't think I'm going to get into any trouble for this and I'm sure that no self-respect and lawyer is even going to fight this for my mother unless a huge amount of money is offered to them and I would love to see that happening. since my mother wouldn't have that kind of money either, and even if she somehow managed to find a lawyer, I can't imagine any judge entertaining a frivolous case like this. That's just my opinion, I don't really know what's going to happen. But I know that she can't contact me after this, I have blocked her and now she can go on talking about how I have invaded her privacy. It's not going to matter to me.

I don't think it's going to matter to anybody else either because everybody is on my side here. The things that she said were really mean, and I can't imagine any other moms saying these things about their own daughter. My family has been great to me, they have been keeping a check on how I'm doing and are trying their best to be there for me, which I really appreciate. So far, things have been good, even after the fiasco at the baby shower. I just wish that whichever relative of mine blabbed to my mother about the event would fess up so that I would be able to let them know how disappointed I am in them because they ruined a very special event in my life. Update 2, Hey, guys. So apparently there has been a new development here and I have gotten to know from a couple of people that my mother has been spreading absolute lies about me behind my back, to make up for the fact that she had said such horrible things, and I had caught them on camera and then exposed her reality to the family. She probably realized that taking the lawyer route was not going to help her, so she resorted to this.

and since I have blocked her, she can't exactly bother me in person anymore, so she is going around talking crap about me to everybody else. She has been telling people that the reason she was upset with me, the day that she was talking behind my back and I caught that, is because I am fake and I am nice to my mother to her face. Apparently I never tried to be there for her when she really needs it. She cooked up some story about how she needed some money a couple of months ago since she was stranded at a restaurant, and her cart was not working for some reason. so she called me and she even told me that she would return the money to me as soon as it was possible for her, but she just needed me to bail her out in that instance. Apparently, I just declined and told her that I was not comfortable doing this for her and then hung up the call. This literally never happened and if it had happened, would still not have appreciated the fact that she was talking behind my back.

Anyway, apparently she has been telling people this story and then she has said that, even after that incident, she tried to confront me and talk things out with me and I was just extra nice and sweet to her and told her that I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but she could tell that I was being insincere and fake. She had a lot of problems with me, but she did not want to bother me discussing them because I was pregnant, so she just kept them to herself and came out while she was talking to my aunt. None of this ever happened and this entire incident is made up and I can't say that I expected any better from my mom. The relatives of mine who have told me about the lies that she's been telling people want me to confront her, but I really don't have the energy to do that.

I am seriously heavily pregnant right now and everything is exhausting, so this is the last thing that I need. My husband also thinks that I should confront her and put an end to this, but I honestly don't know if it's even worth it because that's just going to lead to another fight and we're already not on speaking terms anymore. So what's the point of all of that? I just want to live peacefully and not have any drama with anyone. I seriously don't think that it's too much to ask for. Update 3, hey, so it has been close to a month since the day of my baby shower and from what I know, my mother is still trying to save face and telling people about what a horrible daughter I was to her, which is why she was talking crap about me. But this is not about that, this is about the guest,

whom I had invited, and then, they decided to talk to my mother about it, in spite of my very specific instructions not to do that. It's actually pretty surprising who it turned out to be because the person who blabbed was my father. Yeah, I could not even believe it when he confessed to me a couple of days ago and told me that this had been weighing on his conscience for the last few weeks, so he felt the need to tell me. I was so shocked that I didn't even scold him, I just wanted to know why he would do that. Granted, I hadn't explained the real reason as to why I did not want anybody talking about the event to my mother since I did not want to stir up any drama, but I thought that my instructions were clear enough. I know that people would have been curious

about why I did not want my mother attending, but I planned on telling everybody at the party. In person, instead of leaving a paper trail and mentioning anything about what had happened between my mother and I in the email. But apparently, my dad could not understand why I had not invited my mother, and he had even asked me and my husband about the reason why but we were really busy so we had not been able to respond to him on time, we had just told him that we would discuss it with him later, but then we forgot about it. He wasn't able to wait and so, he decided to take a leap of faith and forwarded the email to my mother and asked her what was going on. In the invitation itself, I had mentioned that I did not want this to reach my mother in any case and I wanted

everybody to keep their mouth shut about it and not mention this to my mother because I did not want her attending the baby shower. So that's how my mother was able to find out and ended up showing up at the party, because of my father. He apologized to me profusely for it and I think that I am fine with it right now, but I'm glad that he did not tell me about any of this a couple of weeks ago because back then, I was furious and I definitely would have yelled at him if he had told me just a few weeks ago. Anyway, he has told me that he is really sorry about what he did and he told me that he just hadn't been thinking things through. He should have known that there was a valid reason as to why I did not want my mother in attendance, and I would have told people in a while anyway since this is

something that people deserved an explanation for. He should have trusted me instead of taking matters into his own hands, and I forgave him since he accepted his mistake and apologized for it. Update 4, hi, it's been almost six months since my baby shower and I can't believe that I'm still talking about that incident. Anyway, here goes. So a couple of weeks ago, my mother sent out invitations to her birthday party that was supposed to take place this week. My husband and I were obviously not invited, which is not something that we care about since we are pretty busy being new parents, and also, I'm not interested in having any sort of contact with my mother anyway. So I had heard from the rest of my family that she had sent out invitations, but I didn't know

that literally nobody from our family had accepted that invitation. And when I say, nobody, I mean, nobody, not a single person that's got a sting. And it did, since my mother was very upset about it and a day before the party, she showed up at my house. I did not let her in when I realized that it was her and I told her that whatever she had to say to me, she could say it from outside the house because, frankly, I did not trust her. And more importantly, I had my baby sleeping in the room. I did not want her to come in and have any access to my son. She told me that I was insulting her and I told her that yes, I was,

and I didn't even feel bad about it, especially after everything that she had said about me to other people and the way that she had been treating me for the past few months. I think everything came to head that day and I ended up telling her what I thought of her. I guess I just needed some sense of closure because I'd been keeping my distance from her. So I didn't have the opportunity to actually retaliate for everything that she had been doing. But that day when she showed up at my house, I couldn't hold back. I told my husband to take my son into the nursery and keep him there until my mother had left. And then I started telling my mother about how.

much she had hurt me. In spite of me constantly being there for her and trying to maintain a relationship with her, she did not seem to value any of it and thought that it was okay to talk behind my back and then actually tried to justify her actions by making up lies about me. I didn't even realize when it happened but I had started screaming at her and she was just standing there quietly, on the other side of the door, hearing me shout at her. Once I was done, she just said that she understood where I was coming from and that she was not going to bother me again. But she just hoped that I would talk to her family and tell them that she was not the villain, so they would stop avoiding her like she was the plague. She told me that nobody had

accepted the invitation to her birthday party, and she was really hurt, so she wanted me to talk to her family. It was an outrageous demand. After everything that she has done, I don't think she has the right to ask anything of me, let alone something like that. I told her that I did know anything to her, and I was not going to do anything that she was telling me. I reminded her that she had not congratulated me or even shown up for me after my son had been born, so as far as I was concerned, we did not have any relationship. And since I did not consider her to be my mother anymore, I did not need to do anything for her or try to thank and care about her feelings.

She hadn't cared about mine or anybody else's, so I don't understand why she would expect the same from everybody else. It's the peak of entitlement. She tried to argue with me for a bit, but then I told her that I wanted her to leave because it was quite late at night, and I had already made up my mind that I was not going to help her. So after that, she left, but she did use a few choice expletives to describe me before that. Anyway, she ended up canceling the birthday party that she had planned and just ended up going out to dinner

with a couple of her friends, from what I heard. I haven't told my family to do anything, I haven't even told them not to talk to her, like she believes. I don't have any sort of hold or influence. over these people, but they are good people, which is why they are avoiding her. When she came to meet me that other day, she did not apologize to me for anything. She just told me that she understands where I'm coming from. Like, what does that even mean?

She can understand where I'm coming from, but she can't apologize to me? If her ego is really big, I think she can handle a few relatives not attending her birthday party. Especially since she is a grown woman with a grown daughter and not a high school girl. At least my husband and I are happy with our lives and are too busy to care about any of this. All our focus is going to be on raising our son now. I hope you enjoy this story. Deceitful former spouse sent me pictures of his betrothal celebration to incite envy, yet I discerned an individual in the distance and inadvertently disrupted his existence because of it.

Approximately a year ago, my ex-husband Sam, 32M, decided to leave me, 30F, for his younger co-worker who he had been having an affair with for almost eight months. At the time, we had been together for four years and married for two. We were just a week away from celebrating our second marriage anniversary when he told me that he couldn't do this anymore and that he had been cheating on me co-worker for the past eight months. A few weeks before that, the two of them had confessed that they loved each other and wanted to spend their future with one another.

So he couldn't continue pretending to be happy with me and said that he was going to leave. I was completely blindsided by that because even though he had been acting a little strange in the months leading up to that, I just thought that he was stressed out because of work. Never in my life would I have imagined that he was cheating on me with a 23-year-old who had just started working with him. But after that, everything started making sense, why he had been acting a little off for the past few months and why he had been spending so much time at work. He had not actually been stressed from work. He had been stressed because of me and the efforts that it took to hide his affair from me. He had indeed been spending a lot of time at work too, but not because he was working over time but because of Nikki. After he told me the truth, I immediately asked him to get out of the house and he left, presumably because he had already had a discussion with Nikki since. After that,

he started living with her. The divorce was rough because I was really angry and I wanted to really mess him up. I don't think anyone can blame me for that because we had been together for four years at the time and he knew that I had been cheated on earlier as well, so I had a lot of trust issues, but he had broken down my walls and got me to trust him, only to break it once again. That had really shattered me and I had been going through a rough patch at the time. Now I'm doing better though, thankfully. The divorce came through a few months ago and I'd been pretty happy about it because it was finalized on my terms. I got the house, got to keep the car and I also walked away with a substantial amount of settlement.

I wouldn't say that it helped in healing me or anything of the sort, but it brought me some peace, knowing that at least I got something out of the divorce. And the fact that he was very upset about giving up the house was also something that brought me great joy. Anyway, for the past couple of months, I have only been trying to move on since I don't have to see him anymore and neither do I have to interact with him.

I had blocked him everywhere after I found out about his affair and I also told my friends that I didn't want to hear about him. The only thing that I had known so far was that right after I had kicked him out, he had started living with Nikki and they had probably been living together ever since, but that did not matter to me anymore. This week, we would have celebrated our third marriage anniversary together if we had stayed together and I had been feeling quite low on the day of our anniversary. He decided to make it worse by reaching out to me through email and sending me a bunch of

photos of his engagement party since he and Nikki had apparently gotten engaged recently. There was also a message along with it. I'll just paste it here. He said, it's almost been a year since we broke up and initially, I was really sorry that I ended up cheating on you but now, I don't feel that way anymore. I think it was destiny that brought Nikki into my life and you were just a placeholder. I know you could not have ever been my soulmate, even if you tried, because you are vindictive, mean, and heartless. I know that you were the one who turned all our friends against me by telling them that it was gross that I was dating a 23-year-old, as if that's a leetive.

We are in love and I wish you could realize how wonderful of a feeling it is, and how age doesn't matter when you're in love. You're closer to my age and yet what Nikki and I share, you will never have that with anyone. Do you know why? It's because you're not worthy of it. You were the one who tried to make it look ugly when Nikki and I got together, and I will admit, it was wrong of me to cheat, but the nasty ways that you chose to retaliate just makes me grateful that I decided to go along with Nikki because she's the perfect woman and you'll never be her. I thank God every day that we got a divorce and I didn't have to end up with you. So you might have won the divorce and gotten away with your demands, but I want it life.

I'm sharing a couple of photos from our engagement party. Hopefully, you'll see this and realize what true love looks like and find it in yourself to be able to move on. Happy anniversary. This is what he sent to me along with the photos of the engagement party and it really boiled my blood when I read that message because he kept harping on about one thing, that I had turned our friends against him by making it seem gross that he was dating 23-year-old while being literally almost a decade older than her. Let me just make it clear, I was not the one who turned our friends against him. So Sam and I had known each other since we were in college and we did have a common circle, but I kind of drifted apart from most of my friends after college since I had to move out of state for work. Six years ago, I finally came back and started working here and that's how I ended up reconnecting with my old friends. And that included Sam and we ended up spending more time together when I returned. He and I had a very tight-knit group of friends and they were all very supportive of our relationship. We were all very close until he cheated and I told our friends about it because obviously, why would I hide it?

And I never said that it was gross of him to date Nikki when she was so much younger than him, even though I do believe that it was gross. But I didn't have to say anything to our friends to make them cut him off. they made that choice for themselves. Yet he has always believed that I was the one who forced them to pick and I manipulated them into picking me, and he still holds a grudge against me for that. However, even more than that, he didn't like the fact that I got the divorce to be finalized on my terms.

So all these reasons combined, I guess he just wanted to rub it in my face that he was getting engaged to the woman that he had cheated on me with just so that I would feel bad, and well, he had succeeded because I felt terrible. especially because of what he had said about how he had won at life and the fact that he even wished me a happy anniversary, showing off that he remembered that it was our anniversary and he was doing this on purpose, that was simply diabolical. I was actually about to delete the email because it was so upsetting, but before I did that, something in the photos caught my eye. In the background of some of the photos, I could see a very familiar person, and when I zoomed in, I realized that it happened to be one of my very distant relatives. This person, let's call him Jonathan, isn't exactly related to me by blood, but there's still some relation there, so I could use that to my advantage.

To be more precise, he is married to my mother's third cousin and we have occasionally seen and met each other at some family get-togethers, but since they're not very closely related, my mother isn't exactly friends with them and neither are we. I've only seen him a couple of times, but I recognized him in the background of those pictures and I instantly sent those pictures to my mother and asked her to confirm if it was actually. actually him. I explained the entire situation to her and she decided to call her cousin and ask her what was going on. After the phone call, my mother and I were able to find out that Jonathan was attending that engagement party because he was about to invest in the business that Sam was starting. Sam had used his father's connections to get Jonathan on board, since apparently, my ex-father-in-law had been quite close to Jonathan's brother. Yeah, it's pretty complicated, but anyway, that's how they knew each other and they had been in the talks for a couple of months

and Sam had invited Jonathan to the party so they could get to know each other better before he invested in his business. I requested my mother to pass on her cousin's contact information to me because I had a lot to talk to her about. I had mentioned earlier as well that my mother isn't exactly close to these people, so they had no idea about my life and they definitely didn't know about my divorce from Sam and the other side of him. I hadn't actually been hoping to achieve anything, because I didn't think that Jonathan would give up on a business opportunity just because a distant relative had been cheated by the guy that he was about to invest in. So I hadn't actually been hoping for anything when I reached out to my aunt and asked her to put me in touch with her husband

because I had to talk to him about Sam. However, when I spoke to them, I realized that they were really warm and quite willing to hear me out. So I explained everything about my divorce to them and then, I even forwarded the email that Sam had sent to me, telling them that I felt like it was my duty to warn them about the kind of guy that they were dealing with because he was not a good person. And just as I had expected, both Jonathan and his wife were quite surprised because apparently, Sam had been very sweet to them the entire time that they had been talking about investing in his business, and he had been quite charming and kind. That was not surprising for me because Sam actually was quite the charmer when he wanted to be, that's how he got me and he's very good at

pretending, which is how he was able to hide his affair for so long. Anyway, after I told them the truth about him, they told me that they were really thankful that I had reached out to them and they were going to think about what they wanted to do after this. Even then, I hadn't actually been expecting anything to happen. I just thought that I had the satisfaction of knowing that at least I had done something real and not just sat back and let things happen. Surprisingly, though, today I received another email from my dear ex-husband, and the tone of this one was quite different. from his last. Apparently, after speaking to me, Jonathan had decided to rescind his offer of

investing in the business since that one conversation with me had completely changed his opinion of Sam. Jonathan had started to ghost him personally and had his secretary informed Sam that he was no longer interested in the business anymore and wished him the best, but he couldn't go further on with him owing to special circumstances after his talk with me. And his secretary made sure to mention me, so Sam would know exactly what's going on. Sam couldn't contact me in any other way, so he had to send me an email again and tell me that he was quite desperate because he had already quit his job and had started recruiting people for his business. Without Jonathan's investment, he would have to shut down and go back to working and he just

wasn't ready for that. He was practically begging me to make things right and even tried to bribe me by telling me that he was ready to make me a partner in his company, only if I got Jonathan to come back on board and he knew that I could do it. I was actually quite happy reading that email because it made me realize that he had really screwed things up for himself by sending me that horrible message and trying to rub it in my face. His plan had totally backfired and now, he was the one who was in a terrible position and needed me to bail him out. I was feeling like I was on top of the world and was relishing the experience until, out of nowhere, I started feeling guilty about what was happening. I don't even know why, but a couple of hours ago, I started feeling like I was a terrible

person for doing this and that I'm no different from Sam if I'm actually. relishing it. I've spoken to my parents about it, I've spoken to my friends as well, and all of them have told me that the only reason I'm feeling guilty is because I'm a decent human being, but that doesn't mean that what I did was wrong. But that's not helped me because I know that they are on my side and they are going to be biased because they love me. I guess what I'm saying is that I need some unbiased people to validate my decision because I've just realized that I am literally ruining somebody's career right now and I've been enjoying it so far, but that realization has made it a little less fun. It's complicated, but I really need somebody to put things into perspective

for me right now and I need it to be completely free of any bias. So I'd have for getting an investor to back out of my cheating ex-husband's business and ruining his career? Edit, I guess there has been some confusion about my statement regarding how it was gross for my ex-husband to be dating a 23-year-old. Yes, it's legal and I am aware of that, but that doesn't make it all fine all of a sudden. Just to put things into perspective, she has just graduated two years ago and has very little real-world experience and when she started working with him, it was only her second job. Meanwhile, Sam has been working for the past 10 years, and even at this job, he was supposed to be her senior so it's quite obvious that he has had a lot more experience than her and the power dynamics between the two

of them are obviously not going to be the same had it been a woman of his own age. And I'm sure that a lot of other people agree with what I'm saying because if everyone had thought that it was completely fine for them to be dating, they wouldn't have had to quit their jobs and start working elsewhere after the news of my divorce and their affair started spreading. So I know for a fact that Nikki is an adult and can make her own decisions and I'm not judging her, not for that at least, but I think I'm allowed to judge my ex-husband, who cheated on me with somebody so much younger than him. Anyway, it's my personal opinion that it was gross of him, and I'm going to stand by that. I think that he was taking advantage of her immaturity and I think

it's weird and unethical, but that's just me. People don't have to agree with me or anything, I'm fine with it. But there's no reason to be so hateful to me just because I called it a gross relationship. The man cheated on me, I think I've earned the right to criticize him. As for saying it to my friends, I had already mentioned in my original post that I did not say it to them. They were the ones who had been saying it and I just agreed but didn't harp on about it. Neither did I tell my friends to cut them out of their lives because of this. That was their own choice as well. What I'm trying to say is that I have tried my best to deal with all of this as maturely as I possibly can because I don't want to indulge in any sort of drama. I just wanted to get out of that marriage

as quickly as possible and get the divorce finalized. So I would really appreciate it if people did not hate on me in the comments because it's really not necessary and I don't think it's fair either. Thank you to the ones who were kind enough to me and everyone else who was polite and civil. The rest of you guys, I don't know what's wrong with you people, but it's not okay to hate on other people like this. Update 1, I finally responded to the email that Sam had sent me and I told him that I really appreciated his offer of wanting to make me a partner in this company, but I was just not interested. After all, he had cheated on me once, I didn't want to be cheated on once again. And I also told him that I had spoken to Jonathan, but I hadn't told him that he had to opt out of investing in the business. That had been completely Jonathan's personal choice.

I had only warned him about Sam, and well, it's not like he can blame me for that because he was the one who sent me those photos and that's how I found out about the connection. Anyway, I made it very clear to him that I hadn't told Jonathan not to invest in his business. And since I couldn't have influenced that decision, I don't think I can go up to him and tell him to invest in Sam since that's not my place either. Plus, even if I could, I'm not sure I would want to do that to anyone because I know him as a person and I know how petty and vindictive he is, so I don't think it's a good idea for anyone to be investing in his business right now. Had he been a changed person and not sent me that email at all, maybe none of this would have happened, but he is still a horrible human being, so he totally deserves this. I also told him that he needs to move on, not me because I'm not the one still whining about the fact that our friends are not speaking to me anymore. That was also his own fault. He cheated on me and that ruined his friendship with a lot of people because it was a horrible thing to do.

But now what's done is done. He could have just chosen to move on, but for some reason, he just keeps trying to find ways to blame me for all of this. In the email that I wrote back to him, I told him that the real villain in his life is him and not me. He is the one who keeps screwing up everything for himself, and then when he has nobody else to blame, he turns to me. I entered the email by telling him that he has a very sad existence and that I really hope things get better for him because right now, I don't think he's winning at life at all. People who win at life don't feel the need to announce it to the people they don't like anymore. And then I blocked that email address so that he wouldn't be able to contact me again because

that's the last thing that I need. Of course, he can always just make a new one and try to reach out to me but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. But for now, I'm just grateful that my family, how distant they are from me, decided to take my side. So yesterday, I called Jonathan up, and I thanked him for not investing in Sam. And he went on to me and told me that I was the one who had saved him from investing in somebody who was obviously not reliable or trustworthy. If he could cheat on me and then treat me like crap, then he's obviously not a good person and he wouldn't want to invest in somebody like that. He also told me that at the end of the day, we are family, even though we haven't interacted much and blood is always thicker than water.

So I was very grateful for that and I even invited them over for dinner this weekend because this is a pretty big deal for me. I've also invited my parents so we can all bond and I think an experience like this is going to bring us together, even though we haven't been close before. And regarding everything that has happened with Sam, I've spoken to my friends about it, and they have told me that I really don't need to feel guilty about ruining his career. I had mentioned this in my original post as well, towards the end, but I want to bring it up again because apparently there were certain things that I didn't know since my friends had wanted to protect my feelings and so they hadn't spoken to me about it earlier.

But apparently, while we were getting divorced, he had tried to do everything in his power to turn them against me and make me look like the villain so they would testify against me that would sway the divorce terms. He was pretty desperate, so he had tried to make it seem like I had been the one who had driven him to cheat because I used to act like a psycho and apparently I was very insecure and petty. He had even tried to tell our friends that apparently I had severe anger issues and I would go out of my way to make life difficult for him. But nobody had bought any of that and everyone has stayed by my side, which is probably why he is so upset. They hadn't told me about any of this in

the past because they wanted to spare my feelings since I had been finding it very difficult to move on and to be fair, even though I had told them that I didn't want to hear anything about him. However, after they told me about it, I started feeling a lot less guilty about screwing things up for him because I think he deserves it. Actually, let me just say it, I know he deserves it and I refuse to feel sorry for him anymore. Update 2, hi, so it's been two weeks since I blocked Sam and since then, I haven't had any contact with him. The dinner with Jonathan and my aunt was a success and since my parents had come over for dinner as well, even my mother got to bond with her cousin. So it was pretty fun and Jonathan told me that after finding out what had happened, even his brother had cut ties with my ex-father-in-law because I remember my in-laws had supported their son, which was obvious, but it was a good thing to do. I had been feeling quite content with my decision and after what happened this evening, I am pretty sure that I did the right thing.

Because Nikki showed up at my house, I don't know how she found me, but anyway that doesn't matter anymore. She showed up pretty late, just as I was about to heat up my dinner, and when I saw that it was her outside, I told her to go away because I didn't want anything to do with her. I think anyone in my place would have reacted the same way, but she didn't leave. Instead, she started throwing a tantrum on my doorstep and accused me of being a jealous loser. She told me that I just couldn't stand the fact that my ex-husband was happier with her instead of me and that's why I'd taken it upon myself to try and ruin their lives.

She called me crazy and told me that there was no reason for me to keep tabs on his life just to try and ruin him and realize that she probably had no idea I had even found out about Jonathan. Because if she had known about it, she would have known that I found out about Jonathan just because of what Sam had sent to me. So I told her about the email and I told her exactly what he had said to me. But she refused to believe me so I told her that I would gladly send her the email if she wanted me to and that's what she made me do. She stood outside the door and made me forward the email to her and only then did she realize what was going on. After she got that, I'm pretty sure she started feeling like a fool and just walked away without saying anything else. Then, I went back to my dinner and a few minutes ago, right before I started typing out this update, she sent me an email saying that I was still a horrible human being for going out of my way to ruin my ex-husband's life and career.

She called me miserable and petty and just reinforced my belief that I had done the right thing by exposing Sam. Anyway, I told her that she and her husband needed to leave me alone and stop acting like they were obsessed with me because right now, I was just one more incident away from posting all of this on social media, and then, everyone would know what kind of people they were. So that was that and I'm finally going to start with my dinner now and I really just hope that they have learned the lesson and they're going to leave me alone now. Update 3, Hey, Everyone. I have some pretty fantastic news to share with you guys. So it has been almost a month since my last update and three days ago. I heard from a couple of my friends that Sam and Nikki had posted that they were breaking up their engagement and going their separate ways due to irreconcilable differences.

I don't know why they use such corporate language just to announce their breakup, because it's not like they were getting divorced. But anyway, they also mentioned that they would continue to remain cordial and hope that people would give them privacy they needed at this time. I don't know why they were talking about privacy at all because from what I've heard, Sam himself has been bad-mouthing Nikki to all his friends and has been talking crap about her relentlessly. My friend and I managed to read between the lines from all the gossip that we have heard about it and we think that she decided to leave him a couple of weeks ago, probably after I told her about the email and stuff and she decided that she couldn't be with somebody who was still reaching out to his ex on purpose. Even if it was just to make me feel bad.

I guess it was also bad that he had lied to her and didn't mention the email to her while talking about why the deal with Jonathan had fallen through. Sam's ego couldn't handle this, so he started bad-mouthing Nikki and told a bunch of his friends that she was only with him for the money and the stability because ever since he had moved in with her,

he had been covering all their expenses, and she barely had to spend a dollar on anything. It was gross how he had switched up his attitude toward Nikki so quickly, just because she was not willing to put up with him and his lies anymore. Anyway, I think it's fantastic news because right now, neither does he have a job and his fiancé also left him so he's pretty much at rock bottom. I don't feel bad for him at all because he deserves all of this. He brought it all onto himself. I'm doing a lot better and I don't even care about him or what he's going through anymore.

My work is great. I have my friends and family by my side and that's pretty much all I need. So far, I had even been holding back on getting a cat because he's allergic, but I think it's about time that I got a cat as well. But even right now, I feel pretty fulfilled. I hope you enjoy this story. My partner disappeared on our marriage celebration to elope with their former partner, and then relocated to reside with my relatives who are now referring to them as the child they always wanted. 25F was supposed to get married to Frank, 26M, about two months ago. Frank, not his real name, was my boyfriend for two years. We met at a wedding and got together within a few weeks since we were quite similar. Frank and I had been in a relationship for one year

and then he moved into my apartment. Everything was going well, he proposed to me last year and and we were supposed to be married by now, but he ran away on the morning of our wedding day. It was the worst day of my life and I didn't even find out where he was until a week later when he finally reached out to me and told me that he was back together with his ex. It was obviously heartbreaking for me to find out about it through a text and I blocked him after I told him that he would be the one who had to pay off all the wedding expenses. He agreed and apologized to me for betraying me, but that really didn't mean anything to me. He threw away our relationship to be with his ex and that's all that.

mattered to me, I didn't care about his apology or how bad he felt doing it. I was very depressed and had to go back to therapy to process my emotions because I was struggling on my own. That's how bad things were. I could barely even get out of bed on most days and things were spiraling out of my control. It's been two months since then and I'm finally doing a lot better now, where I was until Frank showed up again to try and get back with me. Some context about Frank and his ex, Hannah, 26F. They were together throughout high school and were even supposed to go to college together, but Frank got a better opportunity somewhere else and he ended up going to a different college. They tried to make it work, but the long-distance thing got to them and they broke up in their second year

because it was all getting too much for them to handle. He had been transparent with me about all his past relationships and I really appreciated that. He told me that Hannah was his only serious relationship before me and everything else was just short-lived flings or hookups that didn't matter. He and Hannah had been together for almost six years before they broke up and that was a long time. She was his high school sweetheart, so I did ask him once if he had moved on from her entirely. And he had told me that he had and he knew that she had married somebody else a few years after they graduated anyway, so it didn't matter. It wasn't exactly a perfect answer to my question, but it was satisfactory, so I didn't ask about it anymore. I knew that he and Hannah were in the past, so I wasn't too worried.

Besides, I had stalked Hannah online and she lived in a different state with her husband and two kids, so she wasn't exactly a threat to my relationship. He never brought up Hannah, so I never thought that he still had feelings for her. There were no signs of him wanting to end our relationship and go back to Hannah even in the days leading up to the wedding. He put up an Oscar-worthy performance. I have to give him that. Not even for a second did I think that he had any plans to run away and ghost me on the morning of the wedding so that. came as a huge shock to me when he didn't show up and even his phone was switched off. On checking his room, we realized that all his belongings were gone and he was nowhere to be found.

He and his best man were missing from the wedding for hours and after the first few hours, I realized that he was not coming back. So I could wait for as long as I wanted to, but there was no point. Towards the evening, his best man finally showed up, but when I asked him about Frank, he informed me that the wedding was off. He told me that he wasn't allowed to reveal where Frank was, but he told me that he wanted me to know that he was sorry that it had to end this way. However, he had no choice. This family was really apologetic, but mine wasn't that supportive.

They didn't say anything to me on the day of the wedding because I was inconsolable, but after that, my parents told me that I should have kept tabs on Frank to make sure he didn't get cold feet and run away like he did. They said that what happened at the wedding was extremely embarrassing, for them and they were deeply ashamed of this incident, as if this was somehow my fault. I didn't talk to them for the next few weeks because I thought that they were being insensitive. However, they did reach out to me and apologize after they found out the real reason why Frank left. I had told my sister about the message that Frank had sent, about him getting back together with Hannah, and she was the one who had

told my parents. So when they found out about her, they realized that it wasn't my fault for not being conscious enough of Frank's feelings and apologize to me. My parents have always been very conscious of their image and that's what matters to them the most, their reputation among their friends and how they are perceived by their peers. They are quite pretentious and put their reputation above everything else and I think that's quite evident from whatever I just said about them. The only reason I have even kept in touch with them is because they're loaded and often help me out whenever I have money problems. Also, my sister practically worships the ground they walk on so if I cut them off, she'll be mad at me and I like her so I don't want that. Anyway, Frank came back about a week ago

and showed up at my house to surprise me. I had forgotten to get the locks changed after he left, so he still had a spare set of keys which he used to get inside my house and he waited for me there until I got back from work. It was creepy and psychotic of him to do that, but he said that he meant for it to be romantic. I was met with a very nasty shock when I came back from work, but it only got worse when Frank told me that he was here to apologize to me and get back together. Apparently, he had made a mistake by going back to Hannah because she was a scammer. He told me that Hannah had contacted him about a week before the wedding and sent him an email confessing her love for him and saying that she had to give it one last shot before he got married.

She had got to know the news of his engagement and his wedding day from a couple of their friends from school and she had even said that her original plan was to show up at the wedding itself, but she couldn't do that since she had two kids to take care of. She had mentioned that she was getting divorced from her husband and this felt like a sign from the universe to finally own up to her feelings and go back to the one man that she had ever truly loved. So that email was her way of confessing and she gave him her address and phone number so he could contact her if he wanted to leave me. I know all this because Frank forwarded the email to me to prove that he had been manipulated by her.

However, once Frank got there, he realized that Hannah wasn't getting divorced at all and over the course of the next few weeks, he got to know that she had been lying about everything. He did some digging and found out that she and her husband were just broke and she was him because she kept asking him to help her by paying for her divorce attorney. He said that he had come back here a couple of weeks ago but was too ashamed to face me. He told me that it hadn't been an easy decision for him but in the last week leading up to the day of our wedding, he realized that he still hadn't completely moved on from her since he was actually considering going back. And apparently, he didn't want me to suffer because of his incapability to

forget his past. He told me that he wanted to tell me the truth, break things off like a decent guy, and then go back to Hannah, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Things that would lead to a lot of fighting and drama and tears and he just didn't want that. So to avoid that for himself, he just took off on the day of our wedding and abandoned me without a word. And he believed that this was a good explanation and I would obviously understand and forgive him. He really didn't see it coming when, after hearing him out, I told him to get out of my house or I would call the cops on him.

He actually had the audacity to be shocked when I told him that I wanted him to get out and that I never wanted to speak to him ever again. He tried to come close to me and calm me down, but I pushed him away and took out my phone to show him that I was serious about this threat. He had lost every right to speak to me or to even breathe the same air as me and I just wanted him out. After some arguing, he told me that he would leave but he knew that I was just mad because I had missed

him and he would be back soon whenever I was ready to talk. It was ridiculous that he even expected me to entertain his BS and it was infuriating to know that he believed that I would take him back eventually. I didn't tell anybody about this for the next couple of days but then my parents called me to talked to me about Frank and they told me that Frank had approached them after his meeting with me didn't go as planned. And my parents were obviously all for the idea of us getting back together because that meant that we could finally get married and they could save face among their peers. On the phone call, they told me that they could understand that I was very upset with Frank,

but I needed to look at the bigger picture and take him back because it wasn't worth it to let go of such a beautiful relationship over a stupid mistake. They tried to defend Frank by saying that he was a guy and men are bound to make stupid mistakes but as his girlfriend and future wife, I should forgive him and not let one mistake negate all the good things about our relationship. Besides, Hanna was not even in the picture anymore and if anything, his interaction with her made him realize how great he had it with me. So now was a better time than ever to get back together and get married, to make sure that he doesn't ever even think of straying from this relationship. My mother even brought up a couple of past affairs that my dad had and said that she had always forgiven him because apart from the occasional

cheating, he was a really good husband. I could hardly even believe that she was saying that out loud and still didn't hear how insanely stupid she sounded. I told my parents that I was not taking him back and I was definitely not getting married to him so they could save their breath because their sermons weren't going to make me change my mind. They tried to fight me on it and told me that it had been really difficult for them to face their friends after my wedding day. They had become the laughing stock of their social circle, but it would really shut everyone up if they concocted some story and made it seem like the wedding didn't happen because of some medical reason, like an accident or something, that we didn't discuss that day. And it would make all their friends regret

treating that incident like a joke. They said that Frank had learned his lesson and there was no need for me to continue punishing him because he had already been through enough. So I needed to be a little forgiving and take him back. They also wanted me to think about their image and go through with the wedding, for their sake. I told him that they were acting crazy and it was downright psychotic of them to expect me to take back a cheater and even get married to him, just so they can save face among their friends, who don't even matter. They're all pretentious and awful rich people who live for drama and gossip. And I don't feel the need to put myself through so much just to win them over. But my parents flipped out and started accusing me of being selfish when I said that I

wouldn't take Frank back or get married to him. They think that I should just suck it up and do it because it's really not a big deal and it'll be mature of me to handle this with Grace, by forgiving him and going through with the wedding. It was getting tiring after a while, so I finally decided to cut them off by blocking them because I couldn't deal with this anymore. And even that didn't work because they continued to text me and bother me with different phone numbers, trying to get me to do what they wanted me to do.

I finally got really sick of it yesterday and I did something bad. I was already really tired from a long day at work and my parents were still blowing up my phone with texts. So I decided to take screenshots of those and logged into my mother's Facebook account. I have known the password for a long time because my mom uses the same password for everything and I got in on my first try. Then I typed out a huge paragraph about what they had been putting me through and how they had been harassing me nonstop ever since Frank came back. I attached the screenshots as proof and then I posted it and tagged it. all their so-called friends, as a finishing touch. And then I took a nap and didn't wake up until midnight

because my phone was on silent and I didn't hear any notifications. So they could continue to call and text me, but it wouldn't matter because I just wouldn't hear any of it. When I finally woke up, I saw about a thousand messages from my parents and several missed calls. All of them were about the posts that I had made and they were naturally extremely upset. They had taken it down within an hour of it being posted,

but it didn't matter because loads of people had seen that post and now they were all calling them out on social media and it was just a complete mess for them. I already mentioned that most of the people that my parents were friends with lived for drama and I had handed them exactly what they wanted, yet another opportunity to speak badly of my parents on a silver platter and so they were really going all out. I felt kind of guilty afterward because I could see that my parents were really upset and desperate. many of my family members had also told me that they could understand that I was frustrated in public was never the solution to anything and this just made matters worse. And now I don't know what to think because I feel like I might have taken things a bit too far. I'd have for posting that my parents were trying to convince me to take back my cheating fiancé and get married just so their friends wouldn't mock them?

Update 1, thanks for all the love on my post, you guys. It means the world to me and I really needed to feel good about myself after. the week that I've just been through. My parents suck, that's the bottom line. And I had tried to stay in touch with them because they are old and I need to be a good daughter, but all they care about is appearances and their reputation. They don't care about feelings or what's real. And there is really nothing in the world that is important enough for me to make me stay with them.

My sister has cut me off after that post and I feel kind of bad about it, but I did see this coming and it's nothing unexpected. If she wants to worship them even though they're terrible human beings, she can continue doing so. But it's stupid to expect that I won't stand up against them just because she's devoted to them. It's sad, but hopefully, she'll be disillusioned soon enough, maybe after something like this happens to her as well. I hope it doesn't, but it's for the best if it does and she finally sees them for what they really are, shallow and pretentious jerks. Frank also hasn't tried to contact me after that post, so I think he has given up. But I won't be surprised if he pops up out of nowhere after the hue and cry about my post dies down.

My parents tried to talk to me and get me to apologize publicly for a few days after I made that post, but when I told them that I would report them for cyber harassment, I honestly don't even know if that's a real thing but I had to say something to get them off my back, if they texted or called me ever again and that finally made them back down. So it's been pretty silent since that post and I really don't regret it anymore. Clearly, some good came out of it and I was able to get rid of all the drama queens in my life. Hopefully, things will remain peaceful now, but these people are shameless so they might come back for round two. I just have to stay sharp and mentally prepare myself for that.

Update 2, high, six days have passed since the last update and I learned recently that Frank has actually moved in with my parents. I wish I could say I was surprised but I'm not. They're disgusting and this is exactly what I expected of them. I hate them with my life and I wish I could do something to mess them up, but I just have to suck it up and let things be right now. I've done enough already and I don't want more trouble. It was my neighbor who told me that Frank was living with my parents now. She and I grew up together and she knew all about what was going on with me. We are not friends, but we do talk to each other from time to time and catch up occasionally, so she told me that

when she saw Frank move in with my parents a couple of days ago, she felt that it was her moral duty to let me know because she had witnessed the post and the aftermath of it. And she had also been present at my wedding. She told me that she wished she could do something to help, but she had already done enough for me. I honestly don't know what to do right now because I really and truly am disgusted by the idea of Frank living with my parents, as if he is a replacement for me for something equally demented. I really want to do something that will shake them, but I just don't know what. I could post about this again but that wouldn't even lead anywhere, just like the last.

last time and I don't want more drama. I just freaking hate whatever is happening right now. I feel sick to my stomach at any given moment and I could really just barf thinking about one roof and having a gala time talking about me. I feel like crying but even that isn't going to solve anything. I'm just so helpless right now I have nobody to talk to about this because of how personal and embarrassing it is. It just hurts even more because I know that no matter what I do, I'll continue to feel this way and it won't affect them in the slightest. update 3. Hi, so Frank texted me from a burner account on Instagram today. It's been almost a week since I received the news that he had moved in with my parents from my neighbor and

today, he finally had the decency to text me and tell me about it. He said that he was really sorry to spring this on me but he had nowhere to go and he couldn't live in a hotel room forever because it was too expensive. So until he found a place of his own, he would have to live with my parents. They were apparently pretty happy to have him. His own parents did not want to speak to him or have anything to do with him after the debacle at the wedding and I had very clearly told him to get out when he came back to me, so our apartment was out of the question as well. The only people that he could approach were my parents. He had heard about the post that I had made from my mother's account and knew that my me to take him back, so he also knew that they liked him and would take him

in readily. I could almost kick myself knowing that I had made this possible and that post, had really backfired badly. I told him that he could go to hell for all I had, and if you were living with my parents that he probably was already there, I wanted to leave it at that, but my anger got the better of me and I ended up sending him a long text about how he was miserable and pathetic for going to his ex-fiance's parents because he had no other place to go. Since nobody loves him anymore. I said a lot of other mean things, really tore him a new one, and got it all off my chest. I didn't want to speak to him ever again or hear from him and I wanted to make sure that he got that message loud and clear. I guess the last time that I told him to get out of my house

wasn't enough for him and he wanted to mess with me even more, which is why he texted me and was acting all innocent and sweet as if I would buy it. Lucky for me I can see through his act now and I know exactly what sort of scum he is, so he isn't fooling anyone. Update 4, hi, everybody. I know I have been missing for a really long time but I was really caught up at work, new projects, and all that jazz, so I didn't have time to check Reddit. But now that I am here, it's time for another short update. It has been almost two weeks since my last update and not much has changed in terms of Frank in his living situation. He is still very much living with my parents and they're making quite a big deal out of it. From what I know, they have been posting pictures with Frank in calling him

their son, the son that they never had to be more precise. And they keep, thanking a certain someone for bringing such a wonderful young man into their lives and have mentioned how it was a great deal for them because they got rid of the garbage and found gold in the form of Frank, their almost son. It would actually be pretty hilarious if it wasn't so annoying. I can't stand to hear about it and have told everyone to stop telling me about it because it really creeps me out. They are treating Frank like their own son and my replacement and I don't know why, but it just gives me the creeps. There is definitely some mental illness there that I don't even want to get into. It's disgusting and I don't want to talk about it anymore, but that's how my family is and it's

sad but I am related to them. So I have to hear about it from everyone. Even people who aren't related to us. Like my parents' friends. Ever since that post, their friends have been trying to chat me up for more gossip because they think that the enemy of an enemy is a friend. I guess that's what happens when people are too rich and entitled and also have a lot of time on their hands. That's definitely the case with my parents and the group of people that they used to hang out with. None of them cared about each other and definitely are not friends if they're so keen to gossip about my parents. I have been ignoring them and blocking them, but they keep popping up and texting me out of nowhere. All of them first try to sympathize with me and console me by telling me that

they know my parents and that they have always been slightly pretentious. So they can understand. what I'm going through. I want to scream at them and tell them that being treated badly by your parents is not the same thing as having annoying friends, so they don't have any idea what I have been through. And I'm definitely not going to reach out to them for help or when I need someone to talk to because I hardly even know them. And I can obviously tell that they're just reaching out to me because they want to know more about my parents' crazy behavior and gossip about them. It's so annoying and I wish that my parents hadn't been so popular in their social group. But everything comes at a cost and I did get back at them but this is the cost that I had to pay for it.

This and the fact that Frank is living with them and I have to deal with it. Update 5, hey, guys, it's been a long time but I honestly just didn't have anything to share for a while. Six months have passed now since the day of my wedding, which never took place. And every single day, I thank God for not letting it happen. My parents and Frank are still living together. I know that's what most of you people would want to know in this update. But I really don't have a problem with that anymore. They deserve each other and I couldn't be happier for them. Frank and my sister are actually getting married in a couple of months and I received an invitation today, which is how I was reminded of that crazy period of my life from a

couple of months ago. It was difficult, but I did go to therapy and tried my best to work things out for myself. And then I got a great job offer, but I had to move for it so I readily agreed to it because there would be nothing better for me than a fresh start in a new city. That's exactly what I needed and for the past two months, I've been living my best life. I won't lie, it hasn't been easy and I still am in therapy, we do virtual meetings now. But I had been moving on with my life instead of fixating on the past and wondering why my parents didn't love me and why my love wasn't enough for Frank to stay with me. The problem was them all along and not me, so it was pretty pointless for me to constantly

worry about them and how they felt about me. I was great to those people but they were ungrateful and just generally bad people. And that's why they never valued me. Even if I did something huge for them, they still wouldn't value me. So it was better for me to just let it all go. It all sounds like a bunch of philosophical mumbo-jumbo, but it's really true. Letting go actually helps rather than holding on to your anger. That does nothing except ruin you and I learned that the hard way. But whatever However, Frank is my sister's problem now and I wish her all the best for her new life. All of them really and truly deserve each other. I hope you enjoy this story.

I ended my relationship with my partner because he abruptly started purchasing lavish items, only for my sibling to begin a romantic involvement with him and acquire a seaside property. It was later revealed that he embezzled millions from his deceased uncle. Hi, so around two weeks ago, I, 27F, broke up a. with my boyfriend, 28M, of one year and my sister, 24F, started dating him. I'll address them as Leo and Rachel. I've pretty much raised my sister on my own ever since our parents passed away when I was 16 and she had just turned 13. They'd been driving back from a party kind of late at night and a truck plowed into them and that was it. We moved in with our aunt after that and she did try to

look after us, but she was more busy with work so it was just me and Rachel and I became really protective of her. After I started working at around 18, Rachel moved out and started living with me so she could finish her degree. For the past three years, ever since she graduated, both of us have been working and we've been living separately since her workplace is quite far away from where I live. I never went to college because I really wanted to start earning because I did not want to be a burden on my aunt, even though she had never made us feel that way, but I wanted to do something for myself and be independent. For a couple of years, after I became an adult, I worked numerous jobs, and two years back, I finally started my own business with a few of my friends from school.

We run a clothing line and I would say that we are moderately successful at the moment, but we want to get bigger. Rachel went to college and got a degree in economics and then went on to work as an accountant. I met Leo through my friends and he works in advertising, so all of us had a kind of similar financial situation. All three of us were doing well enough in our lives, but about three months ago, Leo started spending money like nobody's business. He started giving me expensive gifts,

all stuff from high-end or luxury brands, and he was also buying these kinds of things for himself as well, and I was really confused because if he was in a similar financial situation as me, then there was no way he would be able to afford all of this. I asked him what was going on several times, but he just told me that he had been promoted and that's why he could afford it. But I did not believe it because even with a promotion, I did not think it would be feasible for him to suddenly act like he was the richest man on earth.

My suspicions only got stronger when he bought a new car and within a couple of weeks, he purchased a vacation home on the beach as well. I knew for a fact that none of it had come for cheap and I told him to his face that I did not believe the fact that he had received a motion all of a sudden and that's why he was able to buy all of this. I asked him to tell me the truth because if he was involved in anything shady, I did not want to be a part of it. He tried to convince me that he was telling me the truth, that he genuinely had received a promotion, but I still find it difficult to believe, so I decided to contact his co-workers around two weeks back and asked them what was going on.

Leo and I had been together for just one year, so I wasn't exactly close to his coworkers and they were really surprised when I reached out to them. But when I asked them about Leo, and whether he had received any promotion of any sort, they were truthful and told me that he had not indeed received any promotion and in fact, he had been taking his work way more lightly than he had been in the past. That made me very suspicious and I knew instantly that something was going wrong. So after I called his co-workers, I called him up and I invited him to my house so I could speak to him. And I guess his co-workers had told him that I had called some of them up and as soon as he showed up at my house,

he started fighting with me, saying that it was not my place to speak to his co-workers and tried to embarrass him. He said that I was being paranoid and tried to gaslight me into believing that I was overthinking this. But I knew that deep down, something had definitely gone wrong here and I told him that I could not be with him anymore because obviously, he had been lying to me. The money that he had been spending had definitely not come from a promotion and the only other alternative I could think of was him being involved in something shady, and I did not want to be part of that. We broke up and he was pretty upset with me because I had contacted his co-workers and he thought it was going too far. But I just wanted to confirm my doubts since I did not want to be in a relationship with someone who was doing anything illegal, so I don't think that I did anything wrong.

Anyway, the day that we broke up, I was really depressed, so I did not tell anyone about it. And I thought that I would contact Rachel later on and inform her. But the next day, when I woke up, I had a bunch of texts from Rachel and she had told me that, that after we broke up, Leo had reached out to her and asked her to accompany her on a trip to the vacation home that he had purchased and he wanted to gift it to her because he wanted her to know exactly how serious he was about her. Apparently, he had confessed that breaking up with me had just made him realize that he had kind of fallen for Rachel and even while I was dumping him, the only thing that he could think about was whether she would be willing to see him again or not.

He did not want to risk losing her, so he contacted her immediately afterward, and long story short, they were now together. Rachel confessed that she had also always had a bit of a thing for Leo, but never made a move because he was my boyfriend and she did not want to be a home wrecker. But now, since we were over, she thought that it would be fine for her to get together with him. In all the texts that she had sent me, there was no mention of the reason why we had broken up, so I knew for a fact that Leo had not told her that we had broken things off because I had figured out that he was involved in shady stuff. I immediately called Rachel. up because even though I was kind of annoyed that she had chosen to get together with my ex-boyfriend

just one day after we had broken up, I still felt like it was my duty to warn her about the kind of guy that he was since she was my sister. She picked up the call and as soon as I started explaining why Leo and I had broken up, she told me that she just did not want to hear it. Apparently, Leo had taught her well, and she had been brainwashed into believing that I was going to try and break them up because I was jealous. But Leo had told her not to believe anything I was going to tell her because it was something that I was trying to do since I wanted him back. So she cut me off before I could even get into why we had broken up and I tried to explain it to her several times on that phone call, but she just kept cutting me off.

Initially, both of us were trying to be polite to each other, but eventually, she just snapped. She started screaming at me and said that she could understand that I was upset that her ex and her sister were now together, and it had only been a day since my breakup. But they liked each other and they were not going to let me go. get in the way of it anymore since she had won the lottery and I was just jealous. And I lost my temper at that point as well, and I told her that she was acting like a sellout, just because Leo was willing to give her the vacation home that he had purchased as a gift. I told her that she would face the consequences of this herself and that I was done trying to help her,

then I hung up and blocked both of them everywhere, but even after I blocked her, she sent me a couple of photos from the vacation home a few days afterward and even went to the extent of creating a fake account for this purpose. I was very upset because ever since our parents had passed away, Rachel and I were all that we had. And now, she had passed me over for a vacation home and a relationship with my ex. It was just disheartening and I was so upset about it that I didn't even go to work for a couple of days that week. Anyway, eventually, I did recover and I resumed my normal life. I tried not to think about them too much because it would only hurt me and tried to move on from all of this.

and then, yesterday, Rachel finally came to her senses, I guess, and came to me. I had blocked her, so she had to use her friend's phone to call me up and ask me if I would be willing to see her. I told her that I was not interested since she had made her choice, but she was weeping on the phone so hard that I had to tell her that she could come see me, just to get the conversation over with. Two weeks have passed since my breakup and I thought this was pretty quick for her to figure out his reality, but yesterday, when I came back home from work, She was waiting at my door with tears in her eyes and she started sobbing as soon as she saw me. She told me that apparently, Leo had been involved in some sort of fraud

because he had falsified certain documents after his rich uncle passed away and had made it seem like his uncle had left everything to him in his will. And he had been about to get away with it since his uncle did not really have any family and he had passed very suddenly from a heart attack, so there was nobody to contest the will or challenge the validity of it. But one of his cousins had been able to find the real document and in it. it stated that his uncle had wanted to leave all his assets divided equally among his nephews and nieces. So Leo had been caught in his lies and now, he was being investigated for fraud.

And since just a couple of days ago, he had transferred the vacation home property to Rachel, she was being investigated by extension as well. She said that she was really afraid of going to jail and she needed my help, even though I'm not sure what exactly I could help her with. So she explained to me that when the time came, I just had to testify for her in court and say that she had no idea about the means through which Leo had attained all of these things. This was the bare minimum that I could do for her and she wanted me to promise her that I would help her and obviously I was going to, but in the moment, I just felt like she was taking me for granted so I said that I would have to think about it because she had behaved very horribly with me. She was shocked to hear me say that and told me that I was being petty because there was a very real risk of her going to jail. here and I shouldn't be playing right now. So I told her that I was serious and that's when she started freaking out on me, saying that it was my fault anyway that she was involved in any

of this because if I had just told her the truth about Leo, then she wouldn't have started dating him anyway. So now, I apparently owed it to her to help her out and I couldn't back out. I got really pissed off because I did not owe her anything. And I told her as much and we started fighting. She told me that she was going to tell the cops that I had been with him up until two weeks ago and she knew for a fact that he had given me a lot of expensive gifts, so she was going to get me in trouble if I did not help her out. But I told her that I had gathered all those gifts and returned them to him just one week back and he had taken it all back very happily, so I was in the clear. Anyway, we argued for a bit and then she just stomped her foot and called me a bunch of names

before leaving. I thought that the way I behaved was pretty reasonable, but then I spoke to a couple of my friends and told them about this and they said that I should keep everything aside and tell her that I'm going to testify for her, even if I decide to cut her off after that. Because this is a really serious situation that she's involved in and of course, she doesn't appreciate the fact that I'm still trying to get back at her. I don't feel like I should be obliged to tell her that I'm going to help her out, but I feel like my friends also have a point since fraud is a pretty huge deal and I guess I do have to keep certain personal grudges aside for the time being. But also, I feel like she's been taking me for granted, and I didn't like the fact

that she started blaming me for the situation she was in, because I had tried to explain it to her several times, but she just kept cutting me off on the phone call and kept saying that I was jealous. I feel very confused. So I'd offer telling my sister that I'm going to think about it when she asked me if I was going to testify in court in her favor? Update one, hi, so people in the comments had a lot of mixed opinions on my original post and I'm going to have to say, it really confused me a lot as well. I had no idea what to do or what to say to her until today, just decided that I was not going to say anything. If she reaches out to me again to ask me if I'm going to testify for her or not, I'm going to say yes, but until then, I don't think I need to reach out to her and talk to her.

After all, she did not speak to me for the past two weeks until she was in trouble, so you know. I want her to stay out of jail, more for the sake of our family reputation rather than for herself. I have spoken to my aunt as well, and I have explained the entire situation to her and she told me that she was going to reach out to Rachel and put her in touch with a good lawyer. I'm guessing she already has one, but nevertheless, I'm pretty sure that some help is not going to hurt. So I know for a fact that her situation is going to be taken care of, but emotionally, I'm going to distance myself from her. The past two weeks were really hurtful for me and I don't think I will ever be able to forget that and just move on. If she was in my place, I'm pretty certain that she wouldn't have been able to do that either.

So anyway, I've decided that if she contacts me again, I'm going to agree to help her out, but like my friend said, I'm going to cut her out of my life after that. It is going to be painful, I know that for a fact, it's going to be really very difficult for me because my entire life, I've taken pride in being a good big sister to my baby sister. but she's not really a baby anymore. She can make her own decisions and she made all the wrong ones. I can't, in good conscience, allow myself to have the same kind of relationship with her that we use too. So, thank you so much for all the comments and support that you guys have shown me. The opinions were mixed, there was a lot of advice, and I know some people will be disappointed with the decisions that I have made, but my mind is made up now. It's been five days since I last spoke to Rachel and after that, she has not reached out to me. Some of you had even been asking

about Leo and whether he had contacted me after our breakup and thankfully, no, he hadn't. But for him, I don't feel bad at all, he totally deserves this. Update 2. So it's been around eight days since Rachel visited me and two days back, she visited my aunt. A lot of people in the comments have been claiming that my aunt was not a good parental figure for us since I had had to raise and be there for my sister on my own and I didn't even get to go to college, but I would just like to come to my aunt's defense right now. Like I had said in my original post, my aunt was really busy with her work back when we moved in with her and she had only done the bare minimum for us, but that was a huge deal. Our grandparents live out of state and in order to move in with them,

we both have to uprood our entire lives. The only person who lived here and was willing to take us in was our aunt, but she was also really focused on her career and there was nothing wrong with that. So yeah, maybe she wasn't an ideal parent, but that's because she was not our parent in the literal sense of the word, but she took care of us when nobody else was able to, so we obviously keep in touch with her, and we like her, contrary to what most people in the comments believe. Anyway, my aunt had reached out to Rachel the day that I had explained the situation to her, and she had offered to help her out by putting her in touch with a good lawyer. Rachel did not respond to her message for a couple of days until she visited her two days ago

and she had a lot to say about me since she was pretty much still blaming me for the situation that she was caught up in right now. My aunt tried to distract her from that several times and even tried to explain to her that this was not my fault. Since I had called her up and tried to expose Leo several times, but she was the one who was not ready to hear it. But Rachel was really convinced that this was my fault and even said that if she had not been ready to hear me out back to, then, then I should have put it in a text and sent it to her instead of blocking her. She had been claiming that I did all of this on purpose because I was mad at her for getting together with Leo and I wanted her to get in trouble. It's just so ridiculous and I was really pissed off when my aunt told me all of this. Rachel was seriously obsessed with blaming this

entire situation on me and I thought it was really unfair, especially when she wasn't even supposed to be there to talk to my aunt about me. She was there to talk about a lawyer and fix the problem that she was in. If she really wanted somebody to blame, she should look within herself, and also the guy she was supposedly so into. So after my aunt told me the kind of conversation that she had with Rachel, I started feeling very dicey about my decision to help her out in case it came down to me. I'm still on the fence about whether I want to testify for her or not. Anyway, my aunt has told me that she has put Rachel in touch with one of her friends who is a pretty accomplished attorney and she's in good hands. I guess that way, I don't really have to feel

much guilt about not wanting to stand up for her. And it's not just this particular incident, to be honest. I have been hearing from a bunch of people that Rachel has been putting up a lot of posts on social media that are really shady towards me since I don't think she would be trying to throw shade at anyone else by posting about how manipulative and cruel abusive sisters or family members can. B. And seriously, does she really think that I have been abusive to her? I literally cannot think of a single incident in the past that would justify this kind of outlook towards me. A bunch of people from our family have even contacted me to ask me what's going on between me and Rachel and I have maintained my dignity. I have not told them

anything apart from the fact that we have been having issues, but I'm pretty sure that if it comes down to her and if people start asking her, she's not going to keep her mouth shut and is going to try and make me look like the villain. It really bothers me that she's behaving this way over something that is not even my fault. After my conversation with my aunt, I'm pretty sure that she was even trying to get my aunt to choose between us, but she was clever about it. My aunt is not easily swayed and she was also very disturbed with the way Rachel had been acting when she visited her. All she's doing right now is alienating the people that were actually there for her, nothing else. It's not going to take a lot for her to just admit that she had been wrong about everything,

mostly about Leo. She could have just apologized and made life easier for everyone, including herself, but I guess she's too proud of herself. It just sucks to think that I gave up so much of my life and fun for her sake since I wanted to become successful so I could be able to support my sister. I don't think she even remembers that because if she did, she would be grateful. But it's not like I can force people to show gratitude for everything that I have done. It just has to be something that comes from within. And if it doesn't, that just speaks volumes about the kind of person that she has turned into, and I'm glad that I don't have to be part of her life anymore. Update 3, I had really not expected Rachel to contact me again after everything that she said about me to my aunt.

I mean clearly, she blames me for this entire fiasco, and she's not going to go back on her word. I heard from my aunt that the procedure has already started and she's probably going to get summoned by court in a couple of weeks. So far, it's just Leo, who is involved and all has to do is prove that she had nothing to do with any of this. And that means that in a couple of weeks, she might need my help. I'm guessing that's why she came to visit me again today and this time, she was much nicer than the last time. She brought flowers and chocolates and an apology note and when I opened the door, she instantly told me that she had not been thinking straight back then and had said a lot of things that she did not really mean. But she was in a very bad space mentally, which is why she

had been acting out like that and she wanted me to forgive her. She told me that she could totally understand why I wanted to take my own time to come to a decision about whether I wanted to testify for her or not because obviously what she had done to me was not right and it was completely justified for me to be upset with her. But now, she really needed my help and she was counting on everyone to bail her out of this problem. She handed me all the chocolates and stuff. She handed me all the chocolates and stuff that she had bought for me, but I refused and gave it right back to her. I told her that the only reason that she was here was because she needed my help, not because she was genuinely sorry from the bottom of her heart.

I also mentioned that I had spoken to our aunt and she had told me everything about what she had said when she visited her, so I knew that she really held me responsible for what was going on with her. And I did not need her apology anymore. I was quite fine staying out of her life indefinitely. I knew that she did not mean what she was saying. but that applied to right now as well, since I knew that she did not mean her apology and she only wanted me to help her out. She started getting upset, but I guess she realized that it would get her

nowhere, so she just told me that she actually did mean her apology and she wanted to make things right with me. But if I still did not want to testify for her, that was my decision and she would have to respect it. So then she left, but she made sure to leave the chocolate, flowers, and the note at my doorstep. I feel kind of bad, but this is for the best, I know that. I'm really hoping that it doesn't even come to a point where I have to testify for her and she gets bailed out by her lawyer without me. Because I'm still confused about what to do, things are just really weird right now. Update 4. Hi. So Rachel was acquitted, thankfully. Her lawyer found it very easy to prove that she had nothing to do with any of the fraud and that it was completely on Leo, not her.

I guess Leo had just figured out that it would be better for him to transfer some of the property to other people like he had transferred the title of his new luxury car to his mother to shift suspicion and act like he had nothing to do with any of this. I don't know what exactly he was thinking, but he had used Rachel and I'm thankful that he broke up with me when he did because otherwise, it could have just as easily been me in her place. I'm also thankful for the fact that it did not come to a situation where I had to be summoned in order to testify for or against anyone. I don't know what's going to happen with Leo. He's probably going to get convicted because all the evidence is stacked against him and his cousins are putting up a united front against him.

One of them had even contacted me to ask me if I would be willing to testify against him if the time came and I said yes, because I just want to see him suffer the consequences of his actions. But it hasn't come to that yet. So let's see how this unfolds. I'm just thankful that Rachel is not in trouble anymore, but that does not mean that everything is fine between us all of a sudden. She and I are still not on talking terms, but she has kept in touch with our aunt. I guess she needs somebody to be there for her since most of the family has been wary of her after all the posts that she had made against me. Everyone knew how much I had sacrificed for her and how much I had done for her, so her behavior has been very ungrateful and they did not even need to know what exactly happened to know that she was in the wrong. Anyway, I don't have a problem, even if people continue to speak to her.

I just want to be happy with my life and I want the same for her as well, it's just that I don't want to be in touch with her right now. Maybe someday we will be able to fix the situation and go back to the way we used to be but right now, this is just too recent for me to move on from. Here's to hoping that things will be fine one day again, but until then, I'm good on my own. I hope you enjoy this story. Relative wedded my domineering former partner, disseminated falsehoods about me, criticized me in their wedding address, was disowned by her mother, and then attempted to enter

my residence at night. So my cousin Julia, 27F, started dating my ex-boyfriend Lewis, 29M, two years ago. I, 27F, had been with Lewis for three years. We started dating after he graduated and I was in my second year of college. We stayed together for three years. We stayed together for three years and broke up a couple of weeks after my 20th birthday. It was honestly not a good relationship, and I regret the fact that it was my first relationship as an adult. He and I were perfect on paper, but in reality, things were quite different. He was really insecure and controlling, and would not let me do anything that I wanted to buy myself, like going out with my friends to bars and stuff, or even let me speak to my male friends. He was always keeping tabs on me and any time that I did not do

things that he wanted me to, he would start manipulating me and gaslighting me to think that I was the reason this was not going to work and I was also pretty desperate to keep him around me, so I would bend over backward for him. But that was still not enough to make him stay. He was the one who dumped me, saying that things were not working out, and then proceeded to block me so that I would not be able to contact him. I tried really hard to get in touch with him, but after the breakup, he was completely gone and within two months, I heard from people that he had already moved on to his next girlfriend. So, that was a colossal waste of my time and I really don't like that guy. We had no contact with each other for some time after the breakup. But then,

when I turned 25, he finally unblocked me and reached out to me to wish me a happy birthday. I did not respond to him, and I thought it was weird that he was texting me because by then, I had also moved on, and I was with somebody different. But he still kept texting me, even though he did not get a response. So ultimately, I had to block him, and then, we did not speak for a couple of months again. However, just a few months after my birthday, Julia invited me over and when I went to her house, she told me that she wanted to introduce me to somebody, and it turned out to be Lewis. Apparently, the reason he had been texting me earlier on my birthday was because he wanted to make things right with me before this happened. The two of them had met through work and had started dating and were

quite serious about each other. Julia and I have been really close right from our childhood, so this came as quite a shock to me because she had known that he and I really did not get along and he was quite toxic to me. So I was very taken aback when I realized that the two of them were together and she told me that she knew I would be uncomfortable, but she wanted me to give it one chance and I really wanted to do that, but it was just too much for me. I wanted to be happy for Julia, but Lewis was somebody who had caused a lot of pain for me in the past and it was my first serious relationship because in middle school and high school, I did not have anybody except crushes. And he had ruined that for me, so I had a major grudge against him in the way that he had treated

me in the past. I tried to be as respectful as possible about it and I told Julia that while I really wanted her to be happy, I could not process the fact that she was with Lewis now and I did not think that I wanted to be a part of her life anymore. She was really upset about it and tried to talk to me several times after that, but I couldn't accept it. Because she, of all people, had known exactly how toxic he had been to me and how traumatized I had been because of him. But she still went on to date him and she kept telling me that he had changed and was a better person now, but I did not buy it. She was free to have him in her life and be with him. I did not have a problem with that. But also, I had the right to cut him in by association, her two, out of my life.

It was very simple for me, and obviously, it was really hard for me as well since Julia and I were really good friends, along with being cousins. But then, there's something that I absolutely had to do for my own sake, and I did it. After she told me that she had started dating Lewis, I stopped speaking to her much and for the past two years. We had been really cold to each other because once she realized that I was not going to talk to her, even she started acting distant with me and I don't blame her for that. We would meet at events and stuff, and we would just ignore each other, whereas earlier, we had always been the cousins who would stick to each other and gossip about everybody else. But now, things were different and I was honestly okay with that. Everybody had their own life

and the freedom to do whatever they pleased, so I did not have a problem with her. I just did not want to speak to her, that was it from my side, but I guess she took it personally and wanted to get back at me or something. So she took it upon herself to start talking crap about me to other people from our family and ruin my image, which I did not think was necessary at all. Because I would never do that to her, I had never done that to her, even though we were not getting along. For the past year, she had been telling everybody that I was the reason behind my breakup with Lewis, and apparently, I did not have any morals or ethics. She and Lewis had been spreading rumors about me, saying that I would flirt with other boys while I was with Lewis, right in front of him. And that

was the real reason why he would end up getting possessive and controlling. They made it sound like I was the flirt and that's why he would get insecure when it could not have been further from the truth. It was actually the other way around, he was the one who would be excessively friendly with other women and expect me to be fine with it, but did not like it when I would have male friends even though I kept it completely platonic. And he would constantly manipulate and gaslight me into cutting everybody out of my life. I found their strategies to ruin my reputation among my own family members very offensive but was honestly too busy with my own life to care about what they were spreading, and it was not like anybody actually believed them,

so I was fine with it. And I did not respond to that or react since I knew that it would give them exactly what they had wanted, a reaction out of me. I was also aware of the fact that I was also aware of the fact that wanted to put an end to this, it would be really easy for me since all I had to do was speak to my auntie and she would take care of it all. Even though I was no longer close with Julia, I was still pretty close with her mother and the woman was a federal court judge, so I knew that she would do the right thing. She is my dad's older sister, and everyone knew that she has a spine of steel. She would never do anything underhanded or wrong, so I don't know how Julia turned out to be the way that she is, in spite of being the daughter of somebody like that. Literally, one

conversation with her would put an end to all of this, but as a consequence that, I knew that Julia would also have to suffer quite a lot since she was quite financially dependent on her mother since recently, she had started her own jewelry line, but it was not doing too well from what I had heard. Anyway, I did not want to bother her with such petty things, and I knew that I was strong enough to handle it on my own. So I did not bring it up with her and also, I wanted to let this go on and see what kind of ridiculous rumors they would come up with because either way, my other other than the other

cousins were still coming up to me and telling me what she had been saying behind my back. So it was just amusing and a form of entertainment for me. Then, six months back, they got engaged and announced the wedding date soon after. My parents received an invitation, but I did not and I was fine with it. I did not expect to be invited to the wedding either. I don't think I would want to attend even if I had been invited, after everything that has gone wrong with me and Julia, let alone me and Lewis. The wedding took place three days ago and it was just another day for me, so I was not too concerned

about what was going on there. But after a certain point of time, my phone started flooding with texts from everybody in the family. Everybody was harping on about some speech that Lewis and Julia had made at the wedding and I was really confused, but then my parents called me up and said that they needed to speak to me. So they were the ones who finally told me what had happened and I lost my temper at that point. Apparently, they had taken the opportunity. at the wedding to make a horrible speech about me and spread as many nasty things about me as they could at once. They wanted to turn everybody in the family against me and I guess they might have succeeded if I did not have anything against them in my arsenal. Julia and Lewis have been clever enough, not to mention me by name,

but kept referring to a certain ex-girlfriend who was not present at the wedding, which would only be referring to me because who else could it have been. Anyway, they repeated all the rumors that they had tried to spread about me already like I was the flirt, and apparently I was a gold digger as well, and I would rely on Lewis for money and expect him to pay for everything and he had two. Since I insisted I was just a college student and could not be wasteful, so I would demand that he took care of me financially when we were together. That was not true either. I would always make it a point to split everything on our dates and never expected him to pay for anything, let alone demand. But the most horrible thing they said about me by far was when they accused me of

cheating on him, which is what ended the relationship, according to their stories. So now, at the wedding, they had said that they were glad that I was out of their lives and had not been present at the wedding, since they did not want such a negative influence to be anywhere around them either and had given the family an ultimatum, that from now onwards, they could either invite me to their events or them. Since if I was present at any family event, they would not be attending. And after that, people started flooding my phone to tell me about it. But I only only got to know about it from my parents and I was majorly pissed, as I mentioned earlier. So, I thank them for what they had done because my parents had left immediately after that

speech since they could not stand the fact that Julia was going to such lengths. They also told me that my aunt was really perplexed about what was going on and spoke to them about whether what Julia was claiming in her speech was true or not since it seemed very out of character for me, and she was right. I hadn't actually done that and she was completely correct to doubt her daughter about the truthfulness of the statements. Anyway, after getting to know what they had said about me in their wedding speech, I decided to go all out and dug up screenshots from the past to prove that they were lying. I had to do a lot of digging, and it took me quite some time since I had to scroll for several minutes to get to the part that I wanted. Thankfully, after a really

long time, I was able to find the screenshots of the chat between me and my ex that I've been looking for. These were around the time from when we were picking up and he had been particularly toxic and vicious at that point in time. He had said a lot of nasty things to me, like how we wished he had never started dating me and how he had wasted three years of his life with me when he had the option to be with other people since a lot of women had expressed an interest in him during that time, but now, he finally going to go out with other people. There was no mention of cheating and I am pretty sure if I actually cheated on him. He wouldn't have let it go so easily. Anyway, I scrolled even further back up, and I found other chats of him being toxic towards me

and then I went ahead and posted it all online without an explanation or caption because I think those chats would speak for themselves. And so they did, because after I posted the screenshots, because started texting me once again and commenting on the posts saying that they knew that whatever had been said was not true because it just seemed really weird for me to act that way, because everyone had known me for ages since I was a child. And I was not the kind of person who would do such things. Those screenshots just went on to show that they were lying and knowing that my family was on my side and not theirs, that was all that I needed. In fact, several people even contacted me to tell me that they had left the wedding,

just because of the things that had been said about me. So while Julia and Lewis had been hoping that they would be able to turn people against me, their speech had backfired horribly, and nobody was on their side anymore. Worst of all, Not even my aunt was on their side anymore, which was really bad for them. They contacted me on the night of the wedding itself and literally started begging me for forgiveness because apparently, after reading the screenshots that I had posted online, my aunt had spoken to them and expressed how disappointed she was by the fact that Julia had been so dishonest and was trying to ruin my reputation just because she couldn't stand the fact

that I had chosen to cut her off because she was with my ex-boyfriend now. Most of the guests had already left because of the ongoing drama, After speaking to them, my aunt also told Julia that she was very upset and disappointed in her behavior and had expected better, so until she apologized to me, and I forgive her, she was going to be cutting the two of them out of her life as well. And then she left, in spite of Julia trying her very best to convince her not to do so, since she was really depending on her mother. At night, the two of them called me and started apologizing profusely because they knew that they would not be able to make due without my aunt's support since she had been supporting her daughter financially for quite some. some time now. Julia had actually been planning on shutting down her business and taking a break for some time, which meant that she would have to rely on her mother even more now, but since my aunt had decided to cut her off, things were not going to work out according to plan and she was

really worried for the future. And that's why she had contacted me and wanted me to forgive her, take down that post, and speak to my aunt about all of this. I was really upset about everything that happened so I refused to do that and blocked two of them. But since then, They have been trying desperately to contact me and get me to change my mind and now, I'm really confused about what I should do. My aunt is a really upright woman, we have spoken. She had contacted me the day after the wedding to let me know how sorry she was about whatever Julia had done, but I told her that I did not want my equation with Julia to affect our relationship,

since I had not let it happen in the past and I would still not let it happen now. So it's all cool between us, and I know for a fact that if I speak to her, I can make things right for Julia, but I personally feel like I don't really need to. She is a full-grown adult woman, and she should be able to sort things out for herself. The other consequences of her actions, but then again, would feel like a total jerk, knowing that I can help her and I'm choosing not to. I'm just kind of conflicted about what to do right now. So please, help me out.

Ida for not speaking to my aunt and convincing her to forgive my cousin after she made a horrible speech at her wedding with my ex-boyfriend about me? Update 1, hello. So first of all, thank you so much for all the comments and support. Before I get into the update, I just want to get one thing out of the way. My parents attended the wedding, like a lot of other family members, because they are kind of in the older generation of our family, and they were not exactly aware of the rumors that were being spread about me. Lewis and Julia were mostly saying it to our other cousins and relatives in the same generation as us or around the same age. They were keeping the older people out of it. So my parents had absolutely no idea what was being

said about me and so, they had chosen to attend the wedding out of respect for my aunt, even though they were kind of aware that there was some bad blood between me and Julia after she had started dating this boy. I had not said anything to them or complained to them on purpose, just like I had not said anything to my aunt, because I did not want to drag them or involve them in such petty things. I was above all of that, but clearly, Julia and Lewis were not. Anyway, my point is that my parents were not aware and that's why they attended the wedding, so there is no need for anyone to question them or hate them. As soon as they, and some of the other people from the older generations, found out the kind of things that were being said

about me at the wedding, they chose to opt out and are not on speaking terms with Julia or Lewis anymore so it's all fine. I hope that's clear now. Now moving on. It's been one week since the wedding and I blocked Lewis and Julia, both. So they could not be able to get in touch with me, but that has not stopped them from trying, since they keep making new accounts on social media and keep sending me emails, even though I just keep blocking them. They are desperate, but I've made up my mind that I'm not getting myself involved and helping them out here. I have kept in touch with my aunt and she has made it very clear to me that she is only going to resume supporting her daughter after I forgive her,

after I forgive her, but honestly, I don't think I need to forgive her because for one whole year. I had kept my mouth shut, and I had allowed them to say whatever they wanted to about me because I was not taking them seriously. But they thought that it was a free pass for them to take things to the next level and now, they're going to have to face the consequences. There's also another fact that I honestly don't feel like she deserves the support from her mother, since she is in her late 20s now and I think by now, she should have a sense of what she wants to do in her life. I can't imagine anybody still relying on their parents for money at this point in life. It's not even like she's not educated enough or is not competent enough, she's just always been

way too lazy to stick to a job. It had been that way when we were in our early 20s and had just graduated and I thought that she would grow out of it, but it's still the same way now. So in a way, I think I'm kind of doing her a favor because not getting any financial support from my aunt is going to probably teach her to be better at her job or whatever. Either way, I have made up my mind that I'm not going to help her out. I have discussed this decision with my parents, just to let go of some of the guilt that I had been feeling, and they said that I was perfectly justified in whatever I was trying to do. It was my call whether or not I wanted to forgive her. I did not have to forgive her if I did not feel that she deserved it, just because I was worried about what happened to

her in the future. Besides, Lewis still had a decent job and he could support the two of them if they really wanted to get by without any financial help from my aunt. The bottom line is, I spoke to my parents, some of my friends and even you guys here, and most people agree that I have no reason to feel guilty. So, I feel much better now, to be honest. But I have taken that post down because I don't think that it needed to stay up much longer. Everybody in the family already knows what went down and I don't want to keep that on my profile, since a lot of other people follow me and it would be really difficult to explain everything that happened to them. So it was much easier to just take it down. Right now, I'm just trying to focus on myself and let go of all the anger and the guilt

that I had been feeling for the past couple of days, so I've come back to meditating and trying to take my mind off of things and deal with everything in a Zen way. And I really hope that Julia and Lewis also try to do better with their lives instead of basing it all around me and making me the reason that they wake up in the morning every day like they have been doing so far. I think that'll be better for all of us. Update 2. Hi, so it's been a month since the wedding and from what I know, Lewis and Julia are back on their BS again. My aunt is still not speaking to them because I have not forgiven them yet at this point. I don't even need to. Because I know that their apology was not genuine.

They were only apologizing because they wanted money from my aunt, they didn't actually mean it. After a couple of days of trying to convince me to forgive them and tell my aunt to speak to them, they gave up when I did not respond. After that, they went back to spreading rumors about me. And this time, they were really creative with it as well. Apparently, they went around telling everybody that I was trying to ruin their relationship with my aunt on purpose because I wanted all the inheritance to myself. It doesn't even make sense and it's so absurd that I would do something like that because my parents are pretty well off as well.

Let's not even get there since I myself have a decent job and I'm doing well for myself. I don't even need to think about inheritance because, at the rate that I'm going, with the grace of God, I will not need to rely on anybody for money. Maybe they do, that's why they are thinking along these lines. But anyway, they have been telling everybody all of this every time they run into somebody from the family in public, which happens pretty often since all of us live in the same city and they live close by to several of our family members. People have been avoiding them like the plague, yet they find a way to talk about me somehow. It just doesn't make sense to me why they're so obsessed with me

since I have not done anything for the past month. All I do is ignore them and yet, they can't let go of whatever has happened. Anyway, I got pretty annoyed by this last week and I told my aunt about it and she told me that now. Even if they do apologize, there's no way that she is going to get back in touch with her daughter and she even communicated that to Julia blocking her again and now, the two of them are even more pissed at me than they already were. I know that because they made another fake email account to send me a really angry message via email because that's the only way that they can contact me now. They told me that they were going to make me pay for all of this. Like who shiver me timbers. I know they're acting unhinged right now and it's not

not like I'm really scared, but it can be quite inconveniencing, so I wrote back to them and said that if they tried anything funny with me, I would call the cops and not even hesitate in sending them to jail so they had better watch what they do. I'm hoping that it scares them often if not, well, I have a pretty good security system installed. Update 3, so four days ago, I received an email from Lewis and Julius saying that I would have to face the consequences of what I had done. I also warned them that if they tried to do anything funny, I would report them to the police and yet, that did not stop them from doing the most idiotic thing in the world. Last night, they tried to break into my house. Julia has been to my house several times. She knows that I have

a very advanced security system in place so obviously, I was alerted as soon as they even attempted to open my door. I don't even know why they thought that my door would be unlocked in the middle of the night, at around one in the morning. As soon as that happened, I made a call to the police and alerted them that somebody was trying to break into my house. I had a feeling that it was going to be Julia and Lewis, but just in case it was not, I did not want to take any risks. So they showed up within 15 minutes and unfortunately, for the two of them, they were even dressed like burglars and had been caught, trying to make a run for it a little distance away from my house since they hadn't brought their car with them and had cycled all the way here. The two of them tried to claim that they knew me personally and for not trying to steal anything,

they just wanted to break in and speak to me, intimidate me a little bit. I don't know why they admitted to that as if that was going to make them look any better in the eyes of the law. Julia immediately started crying once she had been placed in handcuffs and started begging me to not press any charges against her, but I did not have any sympathy to spare for her. You can't just keep screwing up again and again, and expect people to forgive you. Lewis just kept looking at me with pure hatred, but that hardly mattered to me, I was quite used to that. Anyway, after that, I went back to sleep because I had work in the morning and this morning, I told my aunt and my parents about what had happened.

And they told me that they knew since Julia had used her phone call to call my aunt so she could come and bail her out, but my aunt refused to even go see her, so now nobody knows what's going to happen. I'm definitely going to press charges against them because I want a protective order against them since they are obviously unhinged, and I don't want anything to do with them anymore. I hope you enjoy this story. Cowardly spouse disclosed my sterility disclosure to his relatives, permitted them to criticize me, and currently seeks custody of our child conceived through a donor. Owen, my spouse, and I have been trying for a baby for years with no luck. I would be happy to but Owen's family is against it and has influenced my husband to also be against it.

After our second year of trying I begged my husband to go with me to get a checkup to see if either of us or both of us is infertile. He was strongly opposed to this as all the men in his family are extremely fertile but eventually gave in and as it turns out his sperm count is extremely low. He was heartbroken as was I and we both got therapy. After a year of no longer trying I got pregnant but lost the baby, and we were devastated. Owen blamed himself and proposed that we start the process of getting into a family planning center for a sperm donor which I agreed to. He asked me that we not tell either of our families about this or our friends and I agreed because I would never want to emasculate him. With the help of our donor, I was able to successfully become pregnant and we had

our little girl last year. She is healthy and progressing amazingly and I thank God for her I kept my promise and never told anyone. However, Owen is struggling with connecting with our little girl. Here is where the trouble begins. Last month when he went out of town with his brothers for their friend's bachelor party. While on the trip Owen told his brothers about our infertility issues and that our baby wasn't biologically his. One of his brothers must have told his wife who told my husband's mother. I don't know why she would tell my husband's mother except that she has never liked me. Their mother then came to our house and called me a lying whore and tried to get my husband to leave with her. He just stood there silent.

I told her that it was Owen's decision not to tell anyone and she asked him if this was true again. He was silent which his mother took as me being the liar. She then went to our nursery and started taking everything she'd ever given us for the baby back. I told her I didn't care about it and I made more than enough to buy everything she gave us myself and better quality. This set her off and she called my baby a filthy bastard when she said that I did something I know was harsh, but I believe she deserved it. I physically pushed her out the door, I didn't hit her, but I did put my hands on her shoulders pushing her out the door, and threw all her shitty things out with her. After spirits had calmed down I realized my husband had said nothing when his mother was berating me, calling me a liar. And when she called our child a filthy bastard so I asked him why he was silent, he said he wasn't raised to be disrespectful the way.

I was and that his mother hadn't said anything that wasn't true she was just hurtful with what she'd said and that we should let it go and wait for his mother to forgive us. I told him that I would never let it go that his mother and anyone who agreed with her was not welcomed in our home and that I don't need to be forgiven when I've done nothing wrong. He then said the house was his and as the head of the family it was his decision. I told fine but why did he allow her to call me a liar and a whore those things are not true and our child, no child really, should be called a bastard. He just repeated he would not argue with his mother.

After that, I stopped speaking to him and started gathering up my daughter's things in purse and walked out the door with her. He tried to stop me and told me I couldn't take his daughter anywhere without him and I lost the little bit of composure I had left. I told him she wasn't his daughter. He'd proved he didn't see her as his daughter when he'd allowed his mother to call her a filthy bastard and told him she wasn't his. He broke down into tears and begged me to come back inside, but at the time I felt nothing he looked pathetic to me. I've taken my baby with me and gone back home to my parents and finally told my family the truth which feels so good. They are completely in support of my decision and are not allowing my spineless husband anywhere near us as he still refuses to apologize to me or set the record straight with his family. However, I told the sister-in-law that I was close to the truth and she told the rest of his family.

Half of his family is understanding while the other side is on his mother's side but they all are mad at my husband. I need time to cool down but I know eventually my husband and I need to figure our marriage out. One thing is for certain I will not return to his house until he apologizes to me and promises to protect me and his daughter fiercely. I want to see this in action form starting with him telling his mother what she did was wrong and banning her from coming to see us until she asks for my forgiveness. We were also planning on having more children as he wants a big family but that is off the table as I don't believe he is ready and we both need to get back into therapy. Comments where Op has replied. A. Love Lelove Ask yourself this. Do you believe he is capable of changing? Everything he has said and allowed to be said to you is nothing but disrespectful.

Oop I am beginning to conclude he does not love me enough to change or protect us. ACM-915 does he have any redeeming qualities? It does not seem so and I'm sure you are aware there is nothing worth saving. Please don't allow yourself or your child to continue to be abused by these total laws. Oop, I will most certainly never allow my baby to be abused verbally or physically and his redeeming qualities are few. Fit underscore Anywhere underscore 4405 I am confused. Your husband had a low sperm count, but he was still producing sperm and the IVF clinic would normally harvest your husband's sperm and choose the healthiest candidate. and then inject it directly into one of your eggs.

Why did you decide to get a third-party sperm donor when your husband was still producing sperm, albeit at a much lower quantity? Defective sperm and low sperm count are not the same thing. Upa healthy donor was less expensive and had a higher chance of success than IVF. We've had many friends who did IVF and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars only to have no results and or more miscarriages. We explored all our options thoroughly and he chose this one. Update 1, February 1, 2024.

I want to start by thanking those who were so kind. Your words of encouragement and advice were greatly appreciated. Here is my update. Apparently, after I left my husband's house my mill, Bill, and still accused me of cheating. I'd already begun speaking with a lawyer after Owen refused to tell the truth to his family, but knowing he let them tell other people I cheated is like getting punched in the chest. I'm now renting a nice two-bedroom apartment. My siblings and their partners have helped me furnish it and my top priority is ensuring my baby has everything she needs.

Currently, I'm working to create a cozy nursery for her and hiring a nanny. Facing the end of my marriage is terrifying but I'm learning to accept my new reality. When I notified Owen I was going to file for divorce he started calling and messaging nonstop. His messages range from begging me to come home, telling me he will tell me he will tell the truth and get therapy again, begging to see our baby, and then threatening to drag me home. I told him the divorce was happening whether he liked it or not because he failed as a husband and failed even worse as a parent. He then sent photos and videos of my things in the garbage and him and my bill trashing the nursery. His exact words, I don't need it anymore. In the most

disturbing video, he threw our baby's car seat in a dumpster. I do not recognize him or his behavior anymore. He claims to miss his daughter and me but is trying to make his behavior my fault for not doing what I'm told. This is not the man I agreed to marry. The man I married was smart, kind, gentle, thoughtful, and funny but this vileness from him was waiting for me the moment I didn't obey and take the disrespect from his family to save him from the humiliation of his infertility. Before the fallout with his mother, he was nothing like this. It's certainly not an excuse, but I believe it all centered on him feeling emasculated and humiliated by his family. I just can't believe he couldn't at least stand up to his family for me and our baby, the one he said he would die for.

I am not blocking Owen as my lawyer said to email everything he says to me to him, but the constant threatening messages make me scared to leave my home. Owen knows where I work and has repeatedly told me he will drag us back if that's what it takes and that I'm making him do this. My lawyer and I are working on a restraining order, but every woman who was attacked by her ex-husband knows restraining orders don't keep you safe. However, things took a turn when my Phil showed up on my parents' doorstep, and it's the reason I decided my Phil asked to speak with me. My parents told him they would call me and ask, but if I said no, then that was final and he would not be welcomed back. I only agreed to speak to Phil because he told my parents he was there to apologize for his family and set the record straight. My dad called me as my Phil was blocked from calling me, and when I picked up my Phil immediately

apologized for his wife's behavior he wanted to hear my side of the story as he did not believe I cheated. I thanked him, I was never close to Phil, but we've always been civil, and let him know, of course, I did not cheat. I told him of his son's infertility and that Owen proposed we get a donor. I told him very clearly it was his son's decision, and that because my Phil and his family put blood as the only valid form of family my husband made me lie so our child would be treated equally. After I finished my Phil seemed stunned, he was quiet for a while then asked if his wife and son could come over and see my daughter in person as they missed us and were ready to be a family again, but I told him no. Phil then asked if there was anything Owen could do to fix the marriage and I again

told him no. Phil tried to say I was being unfair, but my dad stepped in and said Phil was overstaying his welcome. Before I hung up I told Phil that his son, was sending me abusive messages daily and if he truly was sorry then he should make his son stop. Then I hung up. My parents said my Phil was irritated that I did not respectfully say goodbye or give Owen a chance to save his marriage but left with little fuss after my parents laid into him about raising his swine of a son to threaten his wife and child. Telling his father must have worked because I haven't gotten a single message from Owen since then. I do not want anything from my STBX, not child support, not alimony, not the house, or any of his other assets.

I just need him to agree to the divorce and give up his parental rights so my little girl can grow up with a family who loves her unconditionally. I have a good degree and a great job, my child, and I will be fine without him. Owens' lawyer has made it clear they're going to fight us for full custody and my STBX has significantly more money than me but my lawyer is confident in our case and I trust them. Today my mill has been trying to contact me. as she wants to be in my daughter's life and is saying she is ready to accept her as she is. As if my daughter needs to be accepted by her, if it's up to me their whole family will never see us again. Additional comments from OOP. Owens has destroyed hundreds of thousands of dollars of my electronics,

clothes, furniture, and paintings. That's the only thing I will be making him pay me back for. I don't want any of his assets just the things I worked hard to earn and he destroyed. There is a I don't know what will come of it. I had been living with my parents for two weeks before the first post and already had started to talk to a lawyer. Whether or not me and my husband worked on our marriage I planned on not living with him for at least a while after he said it wasn't my house and my parents pressured me to get a divorce attorney immediately when I moved into their house.

Even when I still slightly thought things might work out I was preparing. I went back and forth mentally but I knew this was not sustainable. My family did most of the work finding me in apartment and paying for furnishing it just took a while for me to leave my parents and physically move in. The only truly recent update is my Phil talking to me and learning, through my other family, my mill wants to reconcile. Comments where Op has replied, Pine Box waiting you're a fool not to get child support. You should go for court-ordered support, his paycheck garnished. Boop, maybe I'm a fool but this isn't his child he doesn't care about her.

he just wants to hurt me and make me go through this. Angelic Vixen it doesn't matter if she is biologically his or not. Child support is for the child, and legally, he is the father. You'd be a fool not to go for child support. I get not wanting anything of his for yourself, but, as I said, the support is for the child and goes to the child and represents his part of the care for her. ESP if you push for full custody. It's to help provide for her care.

Also, what a fucking Poss. You're a saint to not push for what you're legally allowed to. God what a dick, I'm glad you got her and yourself out of that situation. Uppie doesn't want this child. I'm beginning to think he never wanted a child he just wanted to fit the part. I'm going to take care of my daughter I don't need his money. She also has my whole family looking out for her. My baby will want for nothing, why would I force money out of a man who does not love her,

and has no connection with her apart from staying in my life to make me miserable. Ashburn mom going to be buried in the comments but how does one move out, find an apartment, get the rental papers taken care of, move into and furnish a new apartment within three days. Seems a stretch. Oop this update is not chronological by day. I've been living with my parents for two weeks before I made my first post, and my family was working to get me out of my parents' house the entire time as well as furnishing my apartment. I paid for some of the things, and my siblings their partners, my parents and many other family members donated and bought things.

Trust me I could not have done this alone. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Father, who publicly shamed me and refused to accept that he has failed as a parent, now cries because I left him. English is not my first language, so please ignore any mistakes I may make. When I was a child, my parents loved me the most. I was planned, expected, and cherished. We didn't have much money, and they worked a lot, but they tried their best to show their love.

This never changed with my mom, obviously, she's not perfect, but she was always looking for ways to become a better person, to express love, and to learn from her mistakes. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for my dad. Everything changed when I was 12 years old. We couldn't have a normal conversation without arguing because we couldn't have a normal conversation without arguing because we were. we never agreed on anything. When I started to disagree with him, he began to reveal his worst side. He constantly insisted that I needed to be perfect, perfect grades and perfect behavior. The only grade accepted was an A-plus, anything less, and he would berate me, calling me stupid, dumb, lazy, and saying I would never amount to anything. But even if I did score an A-plus,

he would claim I had only done the bare minimum and didn't deserve any praise. During that time, bullied relentlessly at school because I'm a lesbian. I had no friends, and people would always call me names, throw food at me, and mock my appearance. I felt unloved at both school and home, with no one by my side. I remember showing symptoms of depression since I was nine, and they only worsened as the years went by. When I was 14, I made some friends, and they invited me to a show. I was thrilled and went straight to my dad to ask for permission. His research was was, since when do you have friends? Since when does anyone like you? He loved to say that no one liked me and that I was unpleasant. Insinuating it was my fault for being alone. One day, he discovered

I hadn't done my homework, so he printed a sheet saying so, wrote shame on it with markers, and hung it on my bedroom door. He even threatened to invite his friends over to see the paper and embarrass me further, saying that I should be as embarrassed as he was having me as his daughter. As a teenager, I did everything to get his attention, breaking curfews, picking fights with him, lying, and waiting for him to find out. I maintained good grades and tried to be the ideal daughter, but when I was on my best behavior, he wouldn't even acknowledge me. When I turned 20, I met my girlfriend, and we decided to live together. I left my parents' house and vowed never to speak to him again. My father had never really cared about my sexuality, he had despised me long.

before that. He never attempted to reach out to me, but when I decided to cut contact, he told everyone that I was ungrateful, that I hated him, and that he was a poor abandoned father. However, no one believed him, not even my mom, sister, or his own mother and sisters. Now, for years later, I'm happily married and pursuing my second degree. However, my mom has come forward, saying that he's always crying and expressing how much he misses me. I told her that I'm open to talking to him, but only if he's willing to acknowledge his mistakes and apologize. Unfortunately, he told her that he did nothing wrong. I want to emphasize that I've been in therapy since I was 12, and it's the only thing that prevented me from ending my life. And now, just as I'm

finally happy, this situation arises. Comments where Ope has replied, your mother enabled him. That's the worst part one thing. I've spent years hating her for that, for making her for making me grow up alone like that. But after a lot of therapy I've decided to forgive her, she's always trying to grow and apologize for her mistakes and she knows how much she fails as a parent too. But I'm totally aware of her lack of attitude, Ty. Your mom still needs to stop bringing him up. You're right. I try to have patience B. C. she's hurt and he's always trying to make her hate me too, but she can't keep bringing this up to me every time, he won't change and never will. On giving him a chance. I gave him a lot of chances before, but he always do something to hurt me deeply.

I truly believe he learned that from his mom who's a evil narcissist everyone hates. But now he's another narcissist who blame me for destroying our family. Deep down I want him to be better, to love me, to understand his mistakes, but he just don't want to. Very hard situation. Family therapy He refuses to accept therapy BC he always says only crazy. people need it so I think cut contact is the only thing left to do. He just misses his emotional punching bag.

I totally agree. He misses having control over me to humiliate and yell when he's pissed. I learned to never cry or show any sign of weakness BC every time he saw I was hurt. He smiled like he's accomplished something he wanted a lot. Kind of sadistic if you think about it. I was truly open to talk, but we will never be family or love each other. it's just too late for that. But at this point I'm not so sure if I even want to just talk.

On how he behaved with others. The controversial part is that he always said I was the perfect daughter to his friends in a way that shows he did a good job raising me. He never accomplished me when I was accepted in college but told all of his friends I was a smart. To people outside he would seem like the perfect dad who raised the perfect kids, but at home I was just lazy and stupid who would grow up to be nothing. All my therapists said he's a narcissist, so that's explain a lot. This exchange. Commenter, you were a child.

You weren't supposed to gain your father's love. He failed as a father. You are allowed to mourn the father you deserve to have. Oops, tie for your kind words. I've spent all my life thinking it was my duty to deserve love from other people and make them like me as I tried to do with my dad, but therapy showed me that's not right. Love just happens and we can't force someone to love us. I'm definitely mourning this dad that never existed and hope one day I'll be free from that pain, heart.

Mini update, September 30th, 2023, two days later. I've talked to my mom to stop bring him up to our conversations and I think she finally understand. It takes me forever to understand that he is accountable for his actions. B.C., he gaslighted me saying that he never did anything like that and I understand. invented all of this to make him look bad to other people. I've spent all my life thinking I was crazy until my therapist says I'm not. And now I'm working on cutting my father off my life completely and forever. Update 1, January 8th, 24, 3.5 months later. First of all, I want to say thank you for all the lovely words you guys sent to me. You don't have any idea of how much this

post changed me. I've never opened up about my situation like this to so. many people before, and I only did it because I wanted to see your reactions. I've always felt like I was being crazy or exaggerating. My father made me believe that there's nothing wrong with his behavior and that I was just being dramatic. However, seeing how shocked you all were, now I know that I was right to be so hurt. Oh, and I've come out as bisexual, so yay, D. But now, let's get to the update. Recently, I've decided that I wanted to write my dad a letter. I've tried talking to him many times to express how much he hurt me, but every time he cut the conversation, saying I was lying and he did nothing to me. Every attempt ended up with us screaming at each other because he refuses to let me finish one sentence without getting mad and telling me to shut up.

This hurts me even more because I was silenced all my life. No one ever gave me the chance to say how I feel, and that's why I wrote the letter. In the first post, I mentioned that he wants to talk to me, but I knew that he would be. do the same thing as before, so I wrote a letter and left it on his desk when he wasn't home. I only visit my mom when he's not home. In that letter, I told him how I felt all my life, shared details about everything he did, and how this destroyed me. My mom told me he was devastated after reading it, and he wanted to talk to me about it. Of course, I refused. There's nothing more to talk about, and now I'm free from that agony. I feel so much better and relieved that I was able to spend

Christmas with my mom, and his presence was irrelevant. I've spent so many special days without my mom and sister because I couldn't be in his presence without crying, and now I'm fine and happy. Thank you so much, guys. Happy life for y'all. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling deceives me into abbreviating holiday due to false crisis. I sought retrograde. by permitting his children to demolish the residents. Hello everyone, I never imagined posting something like this, but the events of the past few days have been so bizarre that I just had to share. Brace yourselves for a roller coaster of emotions.

I, 27F, usually work from home and frequently babysit my brothers, 33M, and sister-in-law's kids. They have two kids, Noah, 5M, and Susie, 8F. My brother, Mike, has a rather demanding job. He works as a structural mover and has a 40-hour week desk job. His wife, Sandra works as a nurse so as you can imagine both of them frequently need someone to babysit. For some backstory, my brother and Sandra got pregnant when I was in college and used to live at my parents' house. They used to live with us and I was forced to kind of turn into a live-in maid. My mom who also had a job at that time would tell me that since I was free,

after my classes, the least I could do for the family was look after my brother's kids. My dad didn't like it, but my mom never gave me a choice. I thought I had to look after the kids for only five hours until my parents were back home, but as days passed, my mom would continue to ask me to bathe the kids, feed them, or put them to sleep even when she was back home. I didn't blame her because I understood that she was tired too, but I was practically spending seven to eight hours looking after the kids which was not only for free but it also took up all my time. These kids were young and were an absolute terror. They were extremely hyperactive throughout the day and would run around throwing toys if they

demanded something and I didn't listen to them, they would start smashing things around the house and I would have to clean up after them. My thing is I am not maternal and I was also very, very young. Being the youngest sibling, I had no idea how to take care of children, especially the ones who would run around screaming and throw tantrums if their demands weren't met. Obviously, I would protest several times to my brother, but he would also tell me that I was always at home and I had nothing better to do anyway. This started to affect my studies as I was too tired my assignments after putting the kids to bed to do any work. One evening, I had a very important assignment to submit, but Noah and Susie wouldn't leave me alone. They would mess with my books or laptops if I took my

attention away from them. I requested them several times to give me one hour alone tops and I put on their favorite kids show to distract them but Noah started throwing things at my face, like the remote or the pillows on the couch. This would make Susie giggle and in turn entourage Noah to continue with this behavior. I would firmly tell him no, put whatever he threw out of his reach, and try to gently explain that we don't throw things. But Noah continued until he threw his drinking mug on my laptop. This spilled with a little. water all over the place and my laptop was rendered useless. I couldn't believe the extent of the chaos that unfolded in a matter of seconds. Frustration and exhaustion reached their peak,

and I found myself on the verge of tears. This wasn't just a mere inconvenience anymore, it was affecting my academic life and my personal belongings. Desperate to salvage my assignment and maintain my sanity, I took a deep breath and gathered them around, trying to be as composed as possible and explained how important my studies were and the consequences of their actions. Noah remained defiant, continuing to throw things at my face. I felt beyond frustrated and felt a mix of anger and helplessness. I decided it was time to take matters into my own hands and told Noah that he was on a timeout. I switched off the TV and asked him to sit in a corner facing the wall. Noah's eyes widened and he started to cry, but I didn't listen to him and put him on the chair.

Gigi seeing this immediately quieted down. When my brother found out about this, he absolutely lost. His mind over me putting his son in time out for misbehaving. He started yelling at me that I am not their parents so I don't have the right to punish his kids. I sternly explained the situation to him, emphasizing the toll it was taking on my academic responsibilities and the irreparable damage done to my laptop. I told him how I needed to get my laptop repaired now because of his kids so he needs to pay for the damages.

My brother started to yell at me that I was being extremely selfish and kids were going to be kids so I should not blame them or him and that I should have known better than to use my laptop in front of them. I told him that I was being forced to look after his kids which was affecting my studies so I had no choice but to complete my assignments while I was babysitting them as no one else was willing to help me out. My brother yelled at me that we were family and this wasn't a big deal as they were my niece and nephews. He continued to berate me that if I punished his kids then they wouldn't like me. I told him that was fine with me as I didn't need them to like me anyway. I needed them to respect me if they were ever to be in my care. This made him angry and he said how I was living at my parents' house for free and other than college. I had no life anyway so I shouldn't complain about looking after his kids.

He also firmly told me that I wasn't allowed to punish them, so I retorted to him that I was done with him and his kids. My brother was shocked hearing my response and tried to backtrack, but I told him that if he wanted me to look after his kids from the next day, he would have to either start paying me or look for an alternate arrangement. I continued to tell him that my services would no longer be available to him and that he was free to find someone else since he clearly wanted some push over doormat for his kids to walk all over and that wasn't going to be me. Later that night, my brother must have told the rest of the family and my mom decided to barge into my room demanding that I apologize to my brother and his kids. She insisted that, as a sister, I should be supportive and help my brother without expecting anything in return. However, I wasn't about to back down. I calmly explained that while I loved my brother and his family, my time and efforts were valuable, and I deserved fair compensation for the unexpected babysitting responsibilities.

As the tension escalated, my dad intervened, rushing to my defense. He reminded my mom that I had a right to be compensated for my time and effort. He pointed out that babysitting wasn't a small favor but a significant commitment that warranted acknowledgement. The argument between my parents continued to escalate, with raised voices echoing through the house. My sister-in-law finally stepped in. She acknowledged the validity of my point and offered to start paying me the next day and wanted to settle on $50, but I refused saying that this was too cheap for me to look after their kids for eight to nine hours every day. My insistence surprised them, and they questioned the amount I was asking

for. Undeterred, I demanded $80 per day, a figure that reflected the time, effort, and stress involved in taking care of the kids. My brother yelled at me that I was being greedy, but I replied that he could try finding someone else then. They begrudgingly agreed. I also demanded that they help pay for my laptop which their little minion had destroyed and my sister-in-law agreed. Although my mom continued to express her disapproval, the compromise was reached, and the following day marked the beginning of a new arrangement. I was compensated for my babysitting duties. This arrangement continued until I moved out of my parents' house. At first, my brother would continue to insist that I should keep looking after the kids, but he quickly realized that it was

impossible for me as I stayed at the office for long hours and wasn't back at home until 8 p.m. He had no choice but to find another solution. I was never again troubled for looking after his kids except on rare occasions which I was okay with because, at the end of the day, I did love my nephew and niece. Last year, I started working from home permanently as I got a very nice job and I had the option to switch to work from home. I absolutely love my job as it pays me well and I can afford to live in an affluent neighborhood. When my brother found out about this, he started to go back to his old ways and would find an excuse every day to leave kids with me. It's important to note that at this point, I wasn't asking him for any money nor did he ever offer me as I thought

this was only going to happen for some time. Surprisingly, my brother wasn't thrilled about this and would go to great lengths to avoid confronting me. He resorted to leaving his kids on my doorstep in the morning and would only call me after he had safely retreated into his car. leaving me with no option but to bring the kids inside. In my attempts to reason with someone in the family, I spoke with my sister-in-law multiple times about the situation. However, she insisted that I should be more understanding and help him out since he had been recently promoted in his job, hence he was spread thin.

I didn't mind looking after my brother's kids once or twice a week, but taking care of them regularly was affecting my job. I realized he wasn't going to change until I taught him a lesson. The next time he left his kids on my doorstep and called me to inform him, I lied and claimed that I wasn't at home. I threatened that I would call the police and CPS on him for abandoning his kids on my doorstep. He started yelling at me that I should just come back home wherever I was, but I told him that if he didn't turn his car back and pick up his kids, he would be answering the police the next time. This made my brother speed back and take his kids. Later, my mom and my

sister-in-law called to tell me that my brother had to miss his work as he couldn't find an alternate option, and as a result, his boss shouted at him for missing work. My mom blamed me and told me that I was working from home, so if my brother wanted me to help him out, then it was my family duty to do so. I retorted back to her that if she wanted to play this game, then she should look after his kids because she was retired now and stayed at home the whole day. This seemed to shut my mom up. My sister-in-law told me that she was ready to start paying me like old times, but I told her that this time she would have to pay $100 instead. We bickered but ultimately she agreed. Since then, I have continued to look after his kids only after my brother pays me up front.

It has been several months now and the children loved spending time with me. A few days ago, my brother asked me if I could babysit his kids for the upcoming holidays as he and his wife were planning on going on a trip with their friends. Usually, I would agree but I already had plans to go to Mexico with my boyfriend and my friends, so I told him that I couldn't do it and he should ask our parents. Hearing this, my brother got upset and told me that I was young hence I could look after the kids by myself, but our parents are old now and won't be able to keep up with his hyperactive kids. This is essentially true as my mom has arthritis and my dad has a back problem. I told him that he should then try contacting his friends for help.

He got upset and started telling me how he and, and his wife really needed a break and that I could always take a break later. I told him that this was my first international trip and I was not going to postpone it for his kids. I told him that I wasn't going to cancel my plans as I needed a break from work and he blew up and started yelling about how I should not even be tired because I just sit at home all day and don't have any kids of my own, at which point I just hung up on him after telling him no once again. So, last weekend, I embarked on my trip to Mexico with my boyfriend and my friends. We were having an amazing time and I was letting loose after working hard the entire year.

This vacation was well deserved. On my third day, I woke up to eight missed calls from my brother. Getting worried and concerned for him, I called him back immediately. He picked up the call and sounded panicked, claiming that Susie wasn't doing well and was having trouble breathing. He continued to tell me that she was admitted to the hospital and it was a family emergency. You see, Susie does suffer from asthma, so I panicked hearing him and my brain stopped functioning. My boyfriend sat up seeing my reaction.

My brother told me that I needed to come back home and be there for Susie. Feeling all stressed and anxious, I tried to get more info about what was going on with Susie. But my brother was dodgy and didn't give me clear details. With my mind all over the place, torn between family and my plans, I hung up. My boyfriend and friends were supportive, suggesting we should all go back home but I didn't want to ruin their trip. Worried, I rearranged my plans, booked the earliest flight back, and rushed home, expecting the worst. Throughout the flight home, I tried calling my parents but they didn't pick up my calls. It was still early morning for them, so I figured they might be sleeping.

I asked my brother to come pick me up from the airport and he immediately agreed. Upon my return, I found my brother waiting at the airport, looking sheepish and nervous. I asked him to drive me straight to the hospital so I could see Susie for myself and be there for her. He hesitated before finally admitting that there was no emergency. Instead, he dropped the bombshell that he and his wife were going on their trip with their friends as he had told me before, and he needed me to babysit their kids. I demanded an explanation, my voice edged with frustration and disappointment. He stammered, trying to justify his actions by saying he thought I wouldn't come back if he told me the real reason. His feeble excuse only fueled my anger.

I felt betrayed and used, my concern for Susie turned into resentment for my brother's manipulative tactics. At that moment, I made up my mind. I wasn't going to let this slide. I decided it was time to teach my brother a lesson he would never forget. No more playing games, no more falling for his tricks. I needed him to understand the gravity of his actions, the emotional toll it took on me, and the strain it put on my life. As we drove to his house, a fire burned within me.

When we got there, my sister-in-law was outside with luggage, looking all sheepish. I instantly knew she was part of the plan to trick me into coming back home. She hugged me, apologized, and said there was some money for me on their nightstand. Before I could say much, my brother and his wife took off in a hurry to pick up their friends for their trip. Standing there, trying to cool off, I couldn't believe the nerve they had. I was so angry at their attempt to manipulate me and downplay the whole thing. Little did my brother know, he was setting himself up for the shock of a lifetime. I was going to take my ultimate revenge and make sure that they would never dare leave me with their children for the rest of their lives.

As I stepped inside, I tossed responsibility out the window. When Noah and Susie woke up, I told them that for the next three days, they were allowed to do whatever they wanted in the house. Noah asked with excitement in his eyes, if he could have ice cream in his bed and I told him why not and he was free to eat whatever he wanted in his bed. He rejoiced while Susie asked if she could use her mother's expensive makeup to play dress-up as her mother had asked her to not touch them. I told her that she was free to use whatever she wanted. When my parents called me back, I told them about what had happened. My parents had no idea about this and were shocked that my brother had gone to such lengths to force me to babysit his kids. I told them that I had a plan to teach my brother a lesson because of this.

My mom curiously asked me what it was and I told them of my plans to let the kids do whatever they wanted to do at home. Immediately my mom told me that this was a bad idea and I shouldn't do this to my brother. But my dad, who was clearly angry with my brother, encouraged me to do whatever I wanted to teach him a lesson. I assured my parents that I would allow the kids to do only harmless things but would never put them in any danger whatsoever. As you can imagine, the kids went crazy and the chaos continued throughout the three days. Noah, fueled by excitement, attempted to turn the living room into his personal side. soccer field. His kicks and throws sent objects flying, and the sound of breaking echoed through the house. Meanwhile, Susie and I tried our hands in baking. For the three days, I felt like a

child among them and let them do whatever they wanted to do. I watched them with a mix of amusement and satisfaction every time they did something that they would otherwise never be allowed to do. Clearly, they are having the time of their lives while the house, once orderly and clean, is turned upside down. This was my revenge, and it was sweet. I made sure to capture moments of their masterpieces on camera, knowing that these images would be part of the lasting memory of my brother and sister-in-law. The day my brother and his wife returned, they were completely shocked to see what had happened to the house. Their expressions went from shock to disbelief as they surveyed the aftermath. The once neat and orderly home had transformed into a realm of creative disorder. My brother and his wife went

ballistic, shouting at me, and demanding an explanation for the chaos they walked into. Brother, what the hell happened here? Why is everything in shambles? Me, oh, hey there. Just a little redecorating courtesy of Noah and Susie. Brother, redecorating? Are you out of your mind? We trusted you to take care of them, not turn our home into a disaster zone.

Sister-in-law, this is unacceptable. Look at the mess. And what did you let Susie do with my makeup? Me, oh, Susie wanted to use them. She's got quite the talent with makeup, don't you think? Brother, stop playing games. This is not what we agreed upon. Me, exactly, we didn't agree on anything because you left me standing in your driveway

after forcing me to take care of your kids. My brother's face turned several shades of red hearing this, and he began shouting loud. He told me that I was being unbelievable right now and that they trusted me to look after their kids. I scoffed and told him that trust goes both ways and they had tricked me into cutting my trip short so they could selfishly go on their trip. I firmly told him that the mess the kids had done could be cleaned up and he should take this as a lesson to never mess with me ever again. My sister-in-law demanded that I repay her money back as I had destroyed the house so I told her that I took care of the kids for three days and her $150 was the least she could give me for the

three days I had looked after her kids. I told them that I was not going to let them push me around anymore. My brother started to say something but I stopped him, you know what? This is the last time you will ever see me. I am done being manipulated, taken for granted and treated like a dormant. The next time you try to dump your kids on me, I will involve the police and get a restraining order on you. Consider this the end. Their faces froze, registering the gravity of my words. I turned around, gathered my bags, and walked out, leaving behind a house in disarray and a family stunned by the unexpected turn of events.

Since then, my brother has been calling me, complaining how he and his wife are now stuck cleaning around the house and the least I could do was apologize to her for being a brat. He is blaming me for everything and continues to say that he didn't do anything wrong by calling me back for my trip. So I'd have for teaching my brother a lesson and giving him an ultimatum? Update 1, my mother reached out to me in just a few hours as I had expected her to do so. She demanded that I call my brother and my sister-in-law and apologize to them for being so harsh. She continued to tell me that she knew that this would happen, which is why she had tried to discourage me. She told me the only way I could fix things was if I gave back the $150 along with an

apology. I was floored hearing my mother supporting my brother again when clearly he was at fault. I wanted to cry when she continued to berate me without considering my feelings. I cut the call short and haven't picked up her calls since. I have talked with my boyfriend regarding all this and he believes that I need to take a break from my family at least for a short while so I can sort out my feelings. I think he is right and I plan on taking a break from everyone. Update 2. Surprise. Surprise my SAL reached out to me with an apology. A few days after the chaotic incident, my sister-in-law reached out to me with an apology. In a subdued tone, she admitted her mistakes and expressed genuine remorse. She acknowledged that she shouldn't have let her excitement

for the trip cloud her judgment, allowing my brother to manipulate and lie to me. She realized the unfairness of taking me for granted and letting her desires blind her to the consequences. Understanding the gravity of the situation, she offered a sincere apology, recognizing the impact of their actions. She then started to plead with me not to punish the kids for their mistakes by emphasizing that they loved spending time with me and hoped I would reconsider my stance on babysitting them in the future. However, I remained firm in my decision.

I assured her that I wouldn't be babysitting the kids again, reiterating my unwavering. stance on the matter. Despite her hesitation, I decisively rejected the idea, refusing to be swayed by manipulation or guilt trips. I stood firm on the boundaries I had set. I told her that while I appreciated her apology I do believe that actions speak louder than words hence she or my brother shouldn't depend on me in the future for any babysitting duties. The call concluded with a mix of emotions, but I was glad that she did apologize to me. Update 3. It's been a month since I shared the about what went down with my brother. Things have improved a bit since my sister-in-law apologized. My brother kind of said sorry too, but it wasn't really heartfelt. My dad had a serious

talk with him and scolded him for messing with me. I haven't responded to his apology yet. On a brighter note, my boyfriend surprised me with a spontaneous trip to make up for the fact that I had to cut my last trip short. We took a road trip to the countryside, and it turned out to be exactly what I needed. The scenic views and peaceful atmosphere helped me unwind from the chaos of the past month. It felt like a breath of fresh air, a much-needed break from the drama. During the trip, my boyfriend and I explored and enjoyed local cuisine. The laughter and shared moments created new memories, overshadowing the recent family drama. I can't help but feel grateful for the thoughtful gesture. It wasn't just about the trip, it was a symbol of understanding and

support. It made me realize that even amid family issues, there are people in my life who genuinely care about my well-being. I still have my brother's half-hearted apology lingering in the back of my mind. But for now, I am choosing to focus on the positive moments and the kindness that surrounds me. I hope you enjoy this story. Canceled my betrothal after discovering that my partner had covertly utilized our marriage funds to make an initial payment on a $100,000 luxury car. Subsequently, I learned that he had also reached the limit on his credit card. Our credit cards and lied about it for months. I need some outside perspective on this situation because I'm not sure if I'm overreacting.

Background, Jake and I have been together for five years, living together for three years, and engaged for almost two years. We're both finishing up our master's degrees and will be graduating next month. I'm in computer science with a focus on data engineering, and Jake is getting his MBA. Throughout our relationship, we've grown a lot as individuals and as a couple. We've faced challenges together and I thought we were on the same page about our future plans. When we first got together in undergrad, we were both broke college students surviving on Raman and student loans. Jake came from a middle class family that helped with some of his expenses,

while I was mostly on my own after my parents divorced during my sophomore year. They each had their own financial problems to deal with, so I learned. to be independent early on. I worked part-time jobs throughout college and managed to graduate with minimal student loans. Jake wasn't as careful with money back then. He would often blow his monthly allowance from his parents within the first week, then struggle until they sent more or borrow from friends. I didn't think much of it at the time because we were young, and hey, who hasn't made stupid financial decisions in college. When we got engaged after finishing our bachelor's degrees, we decided to combine our finances as preparation for marriage. I took on the role of

managing our budget since I'm more detail-oriented and enjoy planning. Jake agreed to this arrangement, saying that numbers weren't his thing despite pursuing an MBA. We've been operating this way for the past two years. Our budget is structured as follows, emergency fund, six months of expenses, retirement accounts, matching our employer's contributions, future house down payment fund, wedding slash honeymoon fund, current living expenses, rent, utilities, groceries, etc. Entertainment fund, health and fitness expenses, transportation costs, personal spending accounts, we each get an equal amount to spend however we want.

We also have a joint credit card for shared expenses that we pay off each month. Jake handles the payment of that bill while I manage all. all the other accounts. I should mention that I received an inheritance from my grandmother last year when she passed away. It's not huge, but it's a decent amount, about $75,000, that I've kept separate from our joint finances. The inheritance is invested for our long-term future, and we agreed not to factor it into our current financial plans. My grandmother was very specific about wanting it to go toward education, a house, or retirement. She was a Depression-era kid who valued financial security above almost everything, and I want to honor her wishes.

Jake Burns through his personal spending money quickly. He buys every new video game release, subscribes to multiple gaming services, and spends money on in-game purchases. He's really into MMOs, and I've seen him drop $200 in a single night on some virtual currency crap. This has never bothered me because that's what the personal funds are for, so we can each have freedom to spend on things the other might find frivolous without judgment. I should also mention that we've been planning our wedding for next spring. Nothing extravagant, just a nice ceremony at a

local botanical garden with about 80 guests, followed by a reception at a restaurant nearby. The whole thing, including a week-long honeymoon in Mexico, would cost around $15,000. We had about $12,000 saved up so far, and we were on track to have the full amount by the end of the year. issue, last week, I noticed $3,500 missing from our wedding fund. This immediately set off alarm bells because we never touched that account without discussing it first. I checked the transaction history and saw that Jake had transferred the money to his personal account three days earlier. I waited until we were both relaxed on Saturday morning and asked Jake about the missing money. We were having coffee on our small balcony. He casually mentioned, as if it were no

big deal, that he had put down a deposit on a Porsche Taikung. Not a used one, a brand new one. He even pulled out his phone to show me pictures of his new baby. This wasn't some spur of the moment decision either. He'd been test driving different models for weeks without telling me. I nearly choked on my coffee. A Porsche Taikung starts at around $90,000. Even the most basic model with no extras is way beyond what we can reasonably afford right now. I tried to stay calm and asked why he would make such a large financial decision without discussing it with me first. He got defensive and said he thought I'd be excited for him. When I pointed out that this wasn't aligned with our financial plan,

he accused me of trying to control him and not wanting him to have nice things. It's always about your plans and your goals, he said, glaring at me over his mug. For once, I want something for myself. Here's the thing, I just accepted a job offer at a tech company with a very competitive salary, $115,000 base plus benefits and stock options. Jake is still interviewing and has turned down a few offers because he didn't think they were good enough. One company offered him $85,000 as a starting salary with a standard benefits package, but he felt it was beneath his skills.

Another offered $92,000 but he didn't like the company culture. Based on my salary alone, we could technically afford the monthly payments on the Porsche, but it would significantly impact our ability to save for a house, which has been our top priority. When we first graduated with our bachelor's degrees, we agreed to live frugally for a few years to build a solid financial foundation before upgrading our lifestyle. We both drive reliable but older vehicles that still work fine. Mine is a 2012 Honda Civic with about 120,000 miles on it, and Jake drives a 2011 Toyota Camry that his parents gave him when he started grad school.

We had planned to reassess our transportation needs after moving for my new job, as the area has good public transportation options. The original plan was to possibly become a one-car household to save on insurance, maintenance, and parking costs. What bothers me most is that Jake made this decision unilaterally. He took money we had saved together for our wedding and put it toward something only he would enjoy, without even mentioning it to me first. When I tried to discuss this with him,

he became defensive and accused me of being unsupportive. Do you know how hard I've worked? Don't I deserve something nice after all these years of being broke? He asked. I reminded him that I've worked just as hard, but I'm sticking to our plan. He rolled his eyes and walked away, muttering something about me being a fun killer.

The next day, I found some paperwork on his desk that revealed more details about the Porsche purchase. The total price, with all the options he selected, came to $97,500. The financing terms were ridiculous. A $19,500 down payment, which explained why he needed the $3,500 from our wedding fund, he didn't have enough in his personal account, and a six-year loan with monthly payments of $1,400 at 5.9% interest. There was also a credit check form, which explained the notification I received from our credit monitoring service about an inquiry. I went to stay with my sister for a few days to clear my head. Jake has been blowing up my phone, alternating between apologizing and accusing me of overreacting. His latest text said that I should be

grateful he's not asking me to help pay for the car with my inheritance. As if using the money my grandmother left me for his luxury car was even remotely an option. I've always been the more financially responsible one in our relationship, but this is on another level. Jake and I have had our differences in the past, but we've always been able to work through them. This feels different. I'm questioning whether we have compatible financial values, which is crucial for a marriage to work. My sister thinks I should call off the engagement, saying this is a massive red flag. Some of my friends think I'm making too big a deal out of it and that I should let Jake have his toy if we can afford it. Jake's friends have been texting me too, telling me that I'm being controlling and that a real partner would support his dreams.

Am I overreacting here? Is a luxury car purchase right after graduate school a reasonable decision? How do I explain to Jake that this isn't about the car itself, but about making major financial decisions as a team? Has anyone dealt with something similar and managed to work through it? P.S., I just realized I've been rambling, but this has been consuming my thoughts for days. now. Thanks for reading this far, and I appreciate any advice you can offer. Update, it's been a month since my original post, and I want to thank everyone who took the time to respond. Your comments helped me gain perspective and validate that I wasn't being unreasonable. A lot has happened

since then, and I felt I owed you all an update. After spending three days at my sister's place, I returned to our apartment to have a serious conversation with Jake. I had thought long and hard about what I wanted to say and how I wanted to approach the situation. I was determined to remain calm and rational, focusing on the behavior rather than attacking him personally. I started by telling Jake that I loved him and wanted our relationship to work, but that the Portia situation had revealed some fundamental issues we needed to address. I explained that I wasn't opposed to him having nice things, but I was hurt that he made such a significant financial decision without consulting me first. I reminded him of our agreed-upon goals and

asked why he suddenly changed his mind about our priorities. Jake's response caught me off guard. Instead of acknowledging my concerns, he confessed that he had already signed the purchase agreement for the Porsche and put down not just the $3,500 from our wedding fund, but had also taken out a personal loan for another $15,000 as a down payment. The total cost of the car was over $97,000, which would result in a monthly payment of around $1,400 for the next six years.

When I asked how he planned to make these payments, he shrugged and said, we'll figure it out. You're making good money now. He then suggested that we could postpone buying a house for a few more years and have a courthouse wedding instead of the celebration we had been planning. It's not like we need all that fancy stuff anyway, he said, despite knowing that I had been looking forward to our wedding day and had been actively involved in the planning process. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jake had completely disregarded our mutual goal, and made assumptions about how my income would be spent.

When I pointed this out, he became defensive and claimed that since we're getting married, what's mine is his anyway? The conversation escalated when he brought up my inheritance again, suggesting that I was being selfish for not using it to support his dreams. I reminded him that we had agreed that the inheritance would remain separate and be used for long-term investments, in line with my grandmother's wishes. He scoffed and said that agreement was made before he found his dream car. Your grandmother would have wanted you to be happy, and supporting your husband would make you happy, he argued, which felt manipulative and disrespectful to both me and my grandmother's memory.

That night, I couldn't sleep. I lay awake, staring at the ceiling, while Jake snored beside me, apparently unbothered by the tension between us. The next day, I decided to dig deeper into our finances. I spent a few hours going through all our accounts, credit card statements, and loan documents. What I discovered was alarming. Jake had also maxed out our joint credit card, racking up over $12,000 in debt on gaming equipment, expensive dinners, that he never mentioned to me, and what appeared to be gifts for someone named L from several jewelry stores. When I confronted him about these expenses, particularly the jewelry, he claimed they were surprised gifts for me that he was saving for special occasions.

However, I've never received any jewelry from him in recent months, which makes his explanation suspicious. Additionally, he had been paying only the minimum amount due on the credit card for the past five months without telling me. This was directly contrary to our agreement to pay off the balance in full each month to avoid interest charges. The interest alone was costing us hundreds of dollars, money that could have gone toward our goals. I scheduled a consultation with a financial advisor that my sister recommended. The advisor reviewed our financial situation and was blunt, proceeding with a marriage to someone with such different financial values and behaviors would likely lead to ongoing conflicts and potential financial ruin. She shared statistics about how financial disagreements are one of the leading causes of divorce and suggested that, at minimum, we should consider premarital financial counseling if I decided to stay in the relationship.

After careful consideration, consulting with friends, family, and professionals, I made the difficult decision to end our engagement. It wasn't just about the Porsche or the credit card debt, it was about the pattern of dishonesty and the fundamental mismatch in our financial values. I called off the wedding, notified our venue and vendors, and began separating our finances. Thankfully, most of our deposits were refundable or could be applied to future events. The venue was surprisingly understanding and allowed us to transfer our deposit to my sister, who had been thinking about having her anniversary party there next year. Breaking the news to Jake was one of the hardest things I've ever done. His reaction was a mix of disbelief, anger, and then desperate pleading.

He couldn't seem to understand why this was such a deal breaker for me. It's just money, he kept saying, which only confirmed that we viewed financial matters very differently. I found an apartment closer to my new job and began moving my things out. Jake initially didn't take me seriously, assuming I was just making a point and would eventually get He continued making plans that included me, telling mutual friends that I was overreacting and would come to my senses soon. When he realized I was actually leaving, he fluctuated between begging me to stay and accusing me of abandoning him when he needed me most. You're supposed to stand by me through thick and thin, he texted one day, followed by you never really loved me if you can walk away over something as trivial as a car the next. The process of untangling our lives was complicated and emotionally draining.

We had to close joint accounts, divide up furniture, and decide who would keep which kitchen appliances. I left behind anything that would remind me too much of our life together, taking only what I needed for my new place. His parents called me after Jake told them what was happening. Surprisingly, they were understanding of my position. His mother even confided that they had been concerned about Jake's spending habits for years but hadn't wanted to interfere in our relationship. He's always been impulsive with money, she admitted. We bailed him out several times during college, but we agreed not to do it anymore after he graduated. We thought he had improved.

She sounded resigned, as if this was a pattern she had seen play out many times before. What was most revealing was when his father called me separately. He apologized for his son's behavior and shared that Jake had previously maxed out three credit cards during his undergraduate years, accumulating over $30,000 in debt that his parents had paid off on the condition that he get financial counseling. Jake had never mentioned this to me, which was yet another deception in our relationship. It's been a challenging few weeks. I had to cancel our wedding, move. There were moments when I questioned my decision, wondering if I was throwing away a five-year relationship over material concerns. But then I would remember the look on Jake's face when he talked about the Portia, how he valued his

immediate desires over our shared future, how easily he dismissed my concerns, and how he felt entitled to my income and even my inheritance. My sister has been an incredible support system, helping me pack and letting me crash at her place when needed. Jake is now stuck with a Porsche he can't afford, and from what I've heard through mutual friends, he's trying to get out of the contract or find someone to take over the payments. The dealership is apparently not being very accommodating, and he's facing the possibility of significant financial penalties. His parents refused to bail him out, telling him it's time he learned to deal with the consequences of his actions. He's been posting on social media about how materialistic women can appreciate a man with

ambition and style, which would be laughable if it weren't so frustrating. Some of our mutual friends have sided with him, suggesting that I'm throwing away a good relationship over money. But those who know the full story understand that it's about much more. than that. As for me, I'm settling into my new apartment and focusing on my career. My financial advisor helped me create a new budget and investment plan for my future, one that doesn't include paying off someone else's impulsive purchases. Thank you, Reddit, for helping me see the situation clearly. Sometimes an outside perspective is exactly what you need to recognize when something isn't right. Your comments gave me the courage to make a difficult decision, and while the path

forward isn't always easy, I know it's the right one for me. Edit. Some information I forgot to include in the original post I realized I left out some important details in my original post that might provide more context for the situation. Jake and I had specifically discussed car purchases about six months ago when we were mapping out our five-year plan. At that time, we agreed that we would both continue driving our current vehicles. Mine is a 2012 Honda Civic, his is a 2011 Toyota Camry, for at least another two years after graduation to maximize our savings rate. The plan was to reassess after we had built up our emergency fund and made progress on our house down payment. We had calculated that if we both lived as if we were still students for two

years after getting our full-time jobs, we could save enough for a 20% down payment on a modest house in our target area, have a meaningful wedding celebration with. We would be able to our loved ones and still have our emergency fund intact. This wasn't my plan that I forced on Jake. It was something we discussed extensively and mutually agreed upon. Jake had never previously expressed any interest in Porsche's or luxury vehicles in general. His sudden fixation on the car came after his college friend purchased a Tesla Model S. I suspect there was an element of competition involved, though Jake would never admit that.

This friend is rich and comes from family money, so their friend is rich and comes from family money, so their financial situations are vastly different from ours. Edit 2. Response to common questions many people have asked why I didn't notice the credit card debt sooner. The truth is that I trusted Jake to pay the bill as agreed. The credit card was in both our names, but he managed that particular account because it made sense with how we divided financial responsibilities. He would tell me each month that he had paid it, and I didn't verify because I believed him. It wasn't until I was reviewing all our that I logged into the account and saw the actual balance and payment history. Trust is a fundamental part of any relationship, and I never had reason to doubt him before this incident.

Regarding the wedding, yes, we lost some deposits that weren't refundable, totaling about $2,200. I consider that money well spent if it saved me from making a much more expensive mistake down the road. Some people have suggested that I should have gone ahead with the wedding given how much we had already invested, but that's a sunk cost fallacy. Moving forward with a marriage I had serious doubts about would have been far more costly in the long run. Several people suggested that I should have tried couples counseling before ending the engagement.

I did suggest this to Jake, but he dismissed the idea, saying we didn't need some stranger telling us how to handle our business. His unwillingness to even consider counseling was another red flag to me, suggesting that he wasn't interested in addressing the underlying issues in our relationship. For those asking about Jake's reaction to the breakup, he's telling mutual friends that I left him because I care more about money than love.

He's conveniently leaving out the part where he made a $97,000 decision without consulting me, took money from our wedding fund, hid credit card debt, and expected me to help pay for his luxury car with my income. It's interesting how he frames financial responsibility as materialism when it suits his narrative. Some have questioned whether I was too controlling with our finances. While I did manage most of our accounts, this was a mutual agreement based on our strengths and preferences. Jake had full access to all financial information, was included in all major decisions until this incident, and had his own spending money that I never questioned or monitored. I don't believe that expecting transparency and mutual decision-making for large purchases is controlling. It's a basic expectation and a partnership. I hope you enjoy this story.

I recently wed my partner who assured me she had ceased communication with her previous romantic partner. However, I later discovered that she had been covertly conversing with him, and she deceived me about his relocation to the state of Florida. Now, she is expressing a desire for a relationship that allows for non-exclusive interactions. Relationship I recently married my longtime GF, eight years, who I'll call Amy. Important context While we have been together that whole time, the first five years were not exclusive, did not live together, and for two years were 1,200 miles apart though we made regular visits. When she and I first met, we were both married but in open relationships.

My wife, myself and Amy's husband were required to travel for extremely long periods of time, sometimes years, with minimal opportunities to return home, security contractors. Amy is an ER nurse. Three months before she and I met, while her husband was home on a six-month break she met a local cop, and started a relationship with him. We'll call him Chris he introduced her to some pretty extreme SNM and BDSM, which she found she deeply enjoyed. Unfortunately, it rapidly escalated past anything even remotely healthy, and became abusive. This rapidly began to destroy her marriage and family, and despite her husband giving her an ultimate, she persisted. I was unaware of the abusive, obsessive nature of her relationship with Chris until Amy's husband told me. I had noticed that Amy was becoming increasingly erratic, but had no

explanation. I broke it off with Amy. A month later she reached out saying she had realized how toxic the relationship was, that she had broken up with Chris, blocked him, and if I was interested would like to start seeing me again. I verified with her husband, then started sleeping with her again. This was still very much a booty call level of relationship at this point. From that point on, over the next eight years, we would become closer and closer and eventually Mary. However, about four years ago she mentions that he had reached out to her over some pictures she posted, unrelated, that they had a good conversation where he asked why she had broken it off with him, and they had both reached some closure. I noted that while I was glad for her,

how could he have reached her if she blocked him? Her reply, was that while she blocked his number she had forgotten to block him on IG. I let it go. A couple years ago in a conversation with her friend, I find out that during a medical emergency some years back, but after she supposedly blocked him, that it had actually been Chris that she called to take her into the ER and stay, not this friend. I confronted Amy, she said that when she told me she had a friend take her she just didn't think to explain who exactly. This has remained a very touchy subject for me, for all the reasons stated. We are also no longer in an open relationship, now that I have stopped traveling, among other reasons. We moved back to the area, in the same

town that Chris was an officer in, about two years ago. A few months ago, just before we married, she commented that I could be less touchy about Chris now that we are getting married, and after all he had retired and moved to Florida, we are in Midwest. I asked how she knew that, and she stated that she read an article about his retirement. As he retired as a lieutenant and the first K-9 officer, that was barely possible but I was unconvinced and asked her point-blank if she had been talking to him. She said no, point-blank. A week ago, I was reading an article about Belgian melanosis and saw an article about Chris attending the retirement ceremony for his former K-9. The ceremony was only six months ago, and would mean he was in the area until very recently.

So I dug, and I'm good at it. Now I have all the dates, times, houses, etc., for the man. He retired nine months ago, left for Florida right after the K-9 ceremony. But there is no mention in any article of him moving, and there wouldn't be since he moved well after retiring. So I confronted Amy, and this time she says Chris reached out to her out of the blue via text and they chatted. When asked how that was possible if he was blocked, she said he had a new number. We had a big fight, and I've spent a couple days considering what to do. Right now, I plan to confront her tonight. Even if it is true that she forgot to block him on IG, why did she have a conversation when he reached out?

Even if she was confused and called him to go to the ER, why did she hide that from me for years? Even if he texted her, randomly, after years, after he moved to Florida. using a new number, why did she have a conversation and tell him that she now lives in town? My full intention is to ask for a divorce tonight. A-I-O? Edit, for those who've asked for more info, her husband and I are still close. Let's call him Dan. He is still working. The more to the story is that I had a really bad day that left me unable to keep traveling. As soon as I was home full-time, and more to the point laid up and not earning, my wife divorced me and tried to take the money and the kids.

No need for details there, but I wound up with the kids and the money all got burned on attorneys. Amy had always been the one who had to stay home, so she and I started spending a lot of time together doing life things. Dan was glad to have someone he trusted with her and their kids, and despite me being half-speed he felt good having someone around to keep her from tangling with the too bad crowd, including Chris, which should have been a bigger red flag than it was, but I still hadn't come out of that King of the Hill mentality.

So the change was when I stopped traveling, Amy and I started living together, her husband Dan left permanently, I adopted her kids, and my wife divorced me, lost custody, and kept traveling, though her travels are all stateside. Nothing doesn't have, and at this point doesn't want, a romantic relationship with anyone. I'm sure he still has a list for finding relief. but he is allergic to any sort of permanent situation. While he would never be willing to, and I don't want to, have me adopt his kids, they were 14m, 10m, and 8F when I met them, 18m, 14m, and 12f when I came home for good, and 22m, 18m, 16F now.

He has given me power of attorney on their behalf and they all call so, there's that. And yes, I'm sure there are a lot of people who judge all of us for the choices and lifestyle we've made. But we are all human, and the things required of the people called on to do the things that we do lead to a lot, a lot, of compromises. We make the decisions we do based on the things we know at the moment. Hindsight is only useful when you start looking forward again. Update, September 29th, 2024. First, thank you all. It seems pretty shallow, but the validation and criticism I've gotten from the original post really helped me externalize and get some perspective. Also, some of you all are hilarious, some of you are compassionate and thoughtful, and others made

me appreciate that no matter how stupid I get somebody will find a way to outdo me. Leading with the headline, I had the conversation, I told her I am divorcing her, it went as badly as expected. She and Chris have not been physical, but we got to the heart of the reason she has been in touch with him. I am exhausted, but feel like I have some clarity of mind and purpose I have lacked for quite some time. I'll probably feel more chatty tomorrow, but for now that's what I have. Edit, more coherent update now that I've slept on it. In another reply in the thread below I have my take on what she told me, and her reasons and I won't repeat at all. And yes, this is my opinion and what I choose to put on here, and I'm sure if she

were on here she would have some reason to explain how none of it is her fault. Thinking about it, the pattern is clear. She even said as much herself, but we don't always hear what we don't want to hear. All of her relationships have come through our professional community in some capacity or another. She is attracted to the men in it and the lifestyle, or at least this version of it. She married Dan because he's exciting and dangerous and mostly absent. She got to have the money, the kids, an exciting husband, near total independence because he was only home maybe three or four weeks a year. and because of the circumstances she could also sleep around freely. So did Dan to be clear.

This was fine until Dan spent an extended period of time at home. There was a lot said there about how unfair, unreasonable it is when one of us comes back home with zero idea of how things work, or why, and start acting as if our opinion of what home life should or should not look like needs to be followed. I get that, actually. Long story short, she was never and is not now interested in a normal marriage. She wants and enjoys the lifestyle she had, first with Dan and then with me. It ended with Dan when he came home and tried to play house.

It ended with me when I came home long-term and tried to do the same thing. For that matter, that's what ended my marriage with my first wife, me coming home and acting like I own the place rather than an occasional visitor. Amy did enjoy the more normal life with me but also wants the old excitement. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. So she reached back out to Chris because she did like what they did until Chris went too far and Dan was about to leave home again, leaving her alone with Chris around. Bonus excitement for her at the time because she got to literally watch me confront Chris at our home and send him away. But things have changed since then and the new circumstances mean she can hook up with Chris and do much more extreme things than she does with me while also having me at the house to keep Chris in check.

Only catch is that it's no longer on the up and up, so she and Chris would have to see. sneak around, maybe that made it more exciting? Almost works, but I clue in and realize they are in contact and unravel the whole thing before they have an opportunity to act on it. More, Chris definitely scratches a sexual litch than Dan and I did, do not. Dan and I are similar in that we can and do enjoy some level of BDSM, etc. But as it escalates it becomes much too similar to work things we don't want within a million miles of our homes. I'm happy to put the handcuffs. I'm happy to put the on you and hold you down, but once we get to heavy impact play, cutting, or God help me see and see the level of nope is so high it could put me off for weeks. So yeah, Chris is a better

lover than I am in that regard. More alcoholism. I know my short reply last night while tired was pretty ugly. Yes, there is truth there but no, it isn't that simple. I was quoting her, but a lot of what she said was intended to be hurtful. I appreciate the kind of questions and comments. I have tried medical marijuana, but it's a terrible fit for me. It made me physically less coordinated, but also made me feel more alert. The combination takes me from a level of hypervigilance that already requires medication, and that I am slowly improving with CBT to flat out dangerous paranoia. So, hard pass. For whatever reason, I have little reaction to local anesthetics so it's difficult to treat the pain locally. The

solution has been stronger meds like opiates, but since I don't have a death wish nor any desire to inflict a drug-addicted dad on my children I left those behind completely at the very first opportunity. So now I take a crap ton of ibuprofen, of course, right? Lidicane patches, not particularly effective but better than nothing, bio-freeze, weekly massage therapy, and yes more nights than not I wind up drinking at bedtime in order to get to sleep. I've gotten a lot of advice about this over the last few years, and a lot of suggestions. I don't imagine anyone here has a better idea, but please feel free to make a suggestion. I'm 100% open to anything that works without turning me into a monster.

Next story, punched my late husband's affair partner when he showed up at my door demanding I stay quiet about their relationship. It felt like I stood up for myself after years of absale. My husband died and I have to pretend that he was a great man who loved me. I punched my late husband's affair partner when he showed up at my door demanding I stay quiet about their relationship. After years of abuse, it felt like finally standing up to my husband after my abusive husband died, I felt relieved and free. Three months later his secret male lover showed up at my house demanding I keep quiet about their affair. For the first time in my life, I stood up for myself and

punched him. It felt like finally hitting back at my husband punched my late husband's affair partner when he showed up at my door demanding I stay quiet about their relationship. It felt like I stood up for myself after years of abuse. My husband passed away three months ago, I was relieved of that. He abused me financially, mentally, and even physically. When I got pregnant, he convinced me to quit my job saying that he would take care of me. I could never buy anything again without asking his permission. I couldn't even buy a cream without asking his permission and he decided if I could or not. Even months ago that I had a little money of my own I had to ask him for permission to buy something. What was mine was his and his was his. But I stayed there because I still loved

him and I didn't have a place to go. I had too low self-esteem and let myself be stepped on. When I stopped loving him he had already had his first affair. He made me believe that I was to blame for the affair because I didn't want to have sex months after my birth that left me torn and I had to receive stitches. I was already planning my exit and saving money little by little while I was working selling things from home since he wouldn't let me work outside because he was very jealous. I wanted to pay for a lawyer. He was having another affair with a friend of his which luckily kept him busier and I didn't care anymore that he didn't pay attention to me. I wanted him to stay as far away as possible. I knew that man and he knew me. I could have made a big fuss, but I didn't.

I kept quiet planning my way out while he and that man slept together in secret. I only felt disgusted by my husband, nothing more. But my husband died in a way I never would have expected. He is now a martyr, when someone dies all the sins of that person disappear. Because that's what even my family thinks. Those who knew about his affair and how he manipulated me are now talking about how good man he was and we shouldn't insult someone who's dead. Everyone around me talks about how beautiful our relationship was, his family talks about what a great man he was and how always he focused on giving everything to me and our kid.

His affair partner hugged me at the funeral saying that my husband loved me, his friends told me what a great person he was. Everyone talks about how good but he was and how he is now an angel in heaven. And I have to pretend to be sad. The day he died I cried a lot but not out of sadness. I cried with relief and I felt free. It would have taken me too many years to save to pay for lawyers with my little store without him realizing that I was keeping money in secret. He would have kept everything, he would have made my life a hell and I know it because he had

told me so every time I stood for myself. But now I have the house, I have everything, I have the monthly money for being a widow, I have my children totally with me. I have started the psychologist, everyone thinks that I do it to cope with my grief, but no, It is to overcome the abuse I suffered from him. It was really hard to pretend being sad in the funeral, but I did it for my child. I did it because now everything is over and I'm free. If I made a fuss, my ex-mill would have done something so that I wouldn't keep anything,

they were just like him. But now I'm just a sad widow who needs help in their eyes, the silly widow who didn't know anything but that's helping me to be free and have what I deserve. Sorry for the bad English, I use the traductor for many parts. Edit, we are not from an Islamic country and here same-sex couples can live and marry freely. He just cheated on me with a man like he cheated on me with a woman, I guess he was bisexual. That's where Op has replied, Organic 2003, I am stuck on his affair partner hugging you and telling you he loved you. She had the balls to show at the funeral.

Damn you have more control than I could have ever mustered. Cheers to a life full of fun and love. Boop, his affair partner was his football team made and friend, he is a man. Thanks p.m. underscore me underscore happy underscore thanks. Your husband had an affair with a man? Or another woman? You have a child? Or children?

Boop, his first affair was with a woman, I think. The second with a man, of which I know, maybe he had others that I don't know. For privacy reasons I don't want to reveal the number of children, so I prefer to leave it at that only one skeptical update. October 5th, 2024. It's been several weeks since I last posted and I didn't expect my post to end in another places. Honestly, I had totally forgotten that I posted here but a few days ago the lover and friend

of my ex-husband. I have started calling my deceased husband that way. I don't want to be eternally tied to the idea that he is still my husband even after death. The death did me the favor of separating us, visited my house saying that he found my post. I didn't expect him to find this and it scared me a bit, but honestly there's nothing I can do about this anymore if someone has posted it elsewhere without asking me first. One of my sons let him in when I hadn't heard the doorbell, so I had no choice but to let him in to not make a drama in front of my kids and I wanted to know what he was going to say. Once alone he told me that he knows that I know about him and my husband having an affair because of the post I sent to TikTok, although I never did any post on TikTok.

That's why I think someone uploaded this there. He told me that my husband was not the best husband, but he was a great friend to everyone and a very hard-working man to everyone, that even his family misses him too much and even though he had his mistakes in the past, that I should let go of the past and stop digging into it because we're all better off like that. He was insisting for a while to such an extent that I felt intimidated by him to the point he reminded me of my husband and it is the first time that I have that feeling with a man that is not my ex-husband. I can talk peacefully with them but this situation made me feel on the verge of a panic. attack because of his attitude. He's basically scared that I'll tell everything. He's gay and I don't know if he has a boyfriend but maybe he does and that's why he doesn't want me to say anything about their affair. I've been a submissive woman for years. My ex-husband turned me into a fearful woman that I wasn't before. He made me the kind of woman who was always going to put her head down

but when he died I felt so happy and liberated, I cried with relief for days. And when this man came into my house to tell me what to do, it was like seeing my ex-husband giving me instructions about how to behave and what to do. The man who knows very well that I was in an abusive relationship because he knew how my ex was and chose to sleep with him anyways. The man my husband made me cook for and then fucked him as if I were just a maid was at my house telling me that my ex was a good person and that I should shut my mouth. He was telling me what to do and I just punched his face. To be honest I wanted to slap him but for some reason I felt so angry that I hit him and it felt like hitting my husband too, I don't regret it and I felt good.

I yelled at him and told him to leave where I was going to tell everyone what happened. He ended up leaving the house and he has been quiet since that day. My main plan was just to shut my mouth and let go of the past, but that is one thing and a totally different thing is that this man comes and wants to impose on me what to do as if I were a doll. Maybe my reaction wasn't the best, but I'm tired of people telling me to shut up. I never managed to say anything to my husband and that day I felt that I somehow did that. I haven't told anyone yet nor do I think about doing so, but if he does something I won't hesitate twice before this time whether to make a TikTok or post on Facebook talking about everything.

With the issue of the house, with the economic crisis I am not sure that anyone can afford what a house like this is worth, but for now I've focused on finally being able to get a better job in the future to be able to rent a house and be able to rent this house. That's could be a really good way to have money. My other goal in the future is to buy a small piece of land, no matter how far it is, I want to have something that is my own and my children. My children don't miss their father too much and I understand them. It has taken me a while to get them a child psychologist, but recently they started to go to

their sessions and they are doing well. I also go to a psychologist. I think the best thing I've done is to start making excuses for my ex-mill and my own family for not seeing them as often as before and I've started the stage of cutting off contact little by little making excuses with work or that we're not at home, although I still have to let my ex-mill come home from time to time. I think even my kids are happier when they see that my own mood is better. I doubt that many people are interested in this, but thank you for the messages I received, although many do not understand that cultures and laws are different in here buying a house or

moving to the other side of a country in a month of impossible for many. Comments where Op has replied, Lama underscore Lama underscore 48213, the audacity. He thinks you are still the maid. Good for you for showing your strength and sending him on his way. The nerve. I would strongly advise you to coach your children to not allow anyone in that house. Not just for AP if he returns. This includes the family you plan to distance yourself from.

Boop, yes, they know that they should not open the door to strangers, but they open the door to people they know because my ex-husband always sent them to open the door for him. Skeptical I have begun to explain to them that they should not open the door to anyone without telling me first and now I leave everything with a lock and key. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner requested that I consider a non-monogamous arrangement right before our marriage ceremony, only for me to discover subsequently that his spiritual associates had been influencing him deceptively for an extended period. I, a 28-year-old female, and my fiancé John, 28M, have been together four, as the title says, about five years. To understand the dilemma, I need to give you some background. We both came from

very religious backgrounds, though it affected both of us very differently. John became a problem child, running away, causing problems, and eventually finding a parents would not approve of. Most of the members of this group were a part of the LGBT-plus, smoked pot, engaged in protests and were either atheist or practiced different religion. Although some of the members since have left, this crowd became his current friend group. I won't go into details about each and every one of them, but the main ringleaders are Alex 35NB and Avery, 33M. From what I understand, they collected damaged people, as John jokingly said one day, and let them couch surf when things got rough. Alex is some sort of a Nipo baby and Avery works in IT, or something like that.

John met them when he was 15. At first, I thought they seemed very cool and couldn't wait to meet them since John equated their relationship to that of a child and a parent, so clearly very important people in his life. But when I finally met them, when we were 21, and in college and home for the summer break, the meeting left me a bit disillusioned. Alex was catty and had snide remarks since I wasn't LGBT-plus or anything, at most by Curious, and Avery treated me like a child, but John said they always need to break new people in, so I tried to think positive and did my best to impress them with what I was studying and what my plans for the future are. Both regarding me personally and my relationship.

But the more I talked, the more they seemed to disapprove of me. Despite the strange meeting, John seemed ecstatic to see see them again, and gushed about how much they liked me, so I kept my mouth shut and just nodded along. Now, to understand a bit deeper on who Alex and Avery are, in the town they live in, they're something like local celebrities. Very spiritual, their home is full of souvenirs they accumulated over all their travels, are also married, but their definition of marriage is very different from the traditional one. Apparently, they went to some tropical state and took some hallucinogens together, and in their state, they proclaimed everlasting love for one another. Quite a wild concept for someone like me, but I learned to be more open-minded since I left for college.

That being said, they also said that they can see oras, whatever that is, and apparently love my fiancés. I don't know what they think of mine, but it probably isn't much. Which brings us to the topic I came here with. Last week, after we got home from work, John sat me down and asked me down and asked me what I think about being in a polygamous relationship. He said he loves me so, so much, more than is possible, and doesn't know what to do with the rest of it, thinking that it's fair to give it to someone else. I, on the other hand, don't have a limit on how much I can love him, so I said no, and that was that. However, the question has been plaguing my mind ever since. If you knew John just a fraction, you'd know he researches

about things long before he actually commits to anything. any lifestyle or relationship changes, whatever. This makes me think that he has already thought about it for a while, and that he also consulted Alex N. or Avery about this. I don't want to villainize them, but I know, for a fact, they're not in a monogamous relationship, and they clearly don't like me as the rest of their little group. Again, I don't want to point fingers,

and I won't ask John to show me his messages with them unless I have solid proof that isn't just a gut feeling, but I just have this horrible feeling that they, somehow, pulled in John. There's no way he just thought about it suddenly on his own. Five years of relationship, and the idea of non-monogamy was never brought up, and now suddenly, just as we're about to be married, he brings this up. I don't buy it one bit, but I can't just go ahead and confront them now, can I? I just don't know what to do.

I feel stuck. At home, I pretend everything is fine since my group of clinton. close friends told me that I'm just overthinking, and I believed it for a while, but whenever I look at John, all I can think of is, he thinks there's a cap on how much he can love me, and he wants to love someone else. I want to deal with this, but I don't know how. If I bring it up with John, he'll just brush it off as well, or he'll think I'm cheating or don't trust his friends. I worked hard to get their approval, and I know for a fact John shares everything with them. I don't take this for himself. I just hope that some of the same. I just hope that some of the same. I just hope that

someone here can give me pointers on how to proceed. Thanks. Comments where O.P. has replied, Degenerate Tidilicker, if you don't swing that way, then end it. It'll only get worse once you're married. This is not something you can compromise on. He wants to fuck other people while you do not. Oop, God, the idea of ending our relationship is so scary. I feel like I built my entire life since leaving for college around him, and if we separate, I worried I'm going to fall part. But I understand where you're coming from, I need more time to process the reality of it all. Tilda why God we 94. Don't let them brainwash you. There are plenty of cases where people are pulled into someone else's lifestyle and then randomly dropped. It will leave you wondering who

you even are. I've been there and it ruined me. What happens if you drink the Kool-Aid and they reject you later? It's hard to come back from that. And I'm not saying this. I'm not saying this. as a matter based solely on sexual preference either. New-age mumbo-jumbo or oras mixed with radical changes in sexual interest can really fuck a person up. A lot of people like this function almost like a give mind or the popular clique in high school. If you already feel like you're being pushed away from the group, and now he's making this request, it's a bad sign. Also the idea of him having so much love that it's unfair to only give it to you is a horrible cop-out and a very common excuse people use when trying to convince their soda tripoli or open. It's often used to

guilt people. It's almost like he's suggesting that you're greedy for wanting to keep your relationship personal and exclusive. I'd just say be careful. I don't want you to end up hurt like I was. Dedicating yourself to one person while their character and lifestyle is completely changing can end up with you getting hurt bad. If he is sincerely changing in this way, I'd be worried about how much you invest in him. I only say this because I was fully invested in my ex and she started hanging out with a group of college friends more frequently towards the end. One day we got into a small argument over parking and it ended with her saying she wasn't certain what sex she was attracted to anymore and wasn't sure if she was even female anymore and that we had to end

things. Now, I would have been fine with helping them figure themselves out, but for her it kind of just became her excuse to break up with me. I think it was more about her slash them wanting to have and was influenced by her group of friends all being single or experimenting who all came out around the same time. I think she saw them having fun and felt FOMO T-B-H. So to her, she was getting her chance to catch up on fun she may have missed out on being in a relationship. To me, it was losing a piece of myself that I invested years of love into. Oh, O-op, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. I really hope John isn't using this as a maneuvering tactic to get out of the relationship or a chance to catch up. It doesn't sound like him, but I'll keep this in mind.

Update, September 17th, 2024. Thank you so much for all the nice replies and genuine advice you've offered. Not to sound cliche, but I didn't expect over a hundred comments and some nice DMs. I'm sorry I didn't respond much, the whole situation was kind of emotionally draining. I figured I'd update when something major happens, and I think this is it. But before I get ahead of myself, let me fill in some blanks in my story. Me and John came from similar backgrounds, but my family was a bit less strict, allowing me to go to college since I had great grades. The plan for me was to move back after getting finding a job, a husband, and living the traditional life, which, obviously, didn't happen because I met John, who literally changed the trajectory of my life. After a year,

from my first major to one I liked more and it's been a while since I contacted my parents. They didn't approve, of course, but with John's help, I didn't give in to their demands to come back. Now they know I'm getting married and are invited, but the last time we spoke was about two months ago. John has completely no contact with his parents since 18. I didn't talk about the friend group in more detail at first since I didn't think they were that important, but they do like me, at first, they were obviously a bit unsure since to them. them. I was a sish at white passing woman, but they warm up to me and I'm proud to call them my friends. The only people who didn't fully accept me are Avery and Alex, and since me and John got

together officially, they tend to call me the wife in this strange, almost derogatory manner. It's not an important detail, but it gets on my nerves. Lastly, John is aware that opening up the relationship would lead to me being intimate, physically or emotionally, with other people, but he said it's a great chance for me to explore my by side, though I haven't expressed the desire to really be with a woman in a committed relationship of that magnitude. On to what happened, I shot a message to John two days ago that we need to talk. He works from home, I don't, so as soon as I got home, we sat down to have an in-death conversation about his proposal. I think he knew what it's going to be about and I had the feeling he seemed almost guilty, but I ignored that and basically word vomited everything that's been on my mind. This is embarrassing because I wrote down most of what the comments advised and was prepared to have a mature discussion, but by the end of my easily 15-minute rant, I was in tears and he had to hold me, otherwise I'd crumble completely.

The gist of what I said is that I'm hurt that he wants to fuck other people and that he doesn't care that I'd fuck other people too, that he believes there's a limit to how much he can love me and that I can't see where this all came from, that he just sprung this on me out of nowhere just a few months before we're to be wed. We tried to have a mature discussion, yes, but by the end, he was frustrated, he did apologize for making me feel less than, but said that my outlook on an open relationship is selfish. What it all boiled down to was that he feels he didn't have enough time to find himself before he committed to me, which is bullshit because he didn't show any signs of wanting more than I could offer. We were very happy throughout the five years. I really believed I met my soulmate.

I realized that, since we were engaged, he seemed to talk more to his friend group, an extension to Avery and Alex. Again, I don't want to paint them as these cartoonish villains. They're really interesting in all, but now I want nothing more than to scratch those self-absorbed, smug smiles off their faces. In the end, I demanded to see his phone, and he was shocked. We had a rule that we can see each other's phones, but we don't share passwords or anything since relationship is built on trust, and neither wanted to be a prison guard in the relationship. Nevertheless, he unlocked and handed over his phone, and I searched his messages, even deleted ones, and found nothing out of the ordinary. Then I checked the call log and guess fucking what? Hours long calls to and from either Avery or

Alex. I was fuming and asked him what the hell does he need to discuss with them this long, and mind you, these dated months back. John eventually caved in and admitted it was them who brought up the idea of open relationship, but they also talked about everything else since their suyui role models. John admitted that he started getting cold feet a while ago and needed a safe place to discuss this. I guess I, his wife to be, am not safe. Please make it make sense. Why even marry me, then? He promised we'd go to a couple's counselor and fix all of this, his issues with marriage, the open relationship thing, the whole nine yards, and that he'd book an emergency session with his therapist. That he loves me and wants nothing but to be with me. It was late,

so we went to bed, despite how messy this all sounds, I was a bit more reassured by this. I genuinely love him, even if my post doesn't reflect that very well. Though many people said to just leave, I want that to be the last resort, I was willing to jump through hoops to make this work. But guess who's the idiot? This morning, I woke up to an empty apartment and a message on my from John, saying that he needs a few days to think this all over and need space. He didn't say where he was going or when he'd come back. I called and called and messaged everyone I know, but no one can tell me where John is. I told him that he either comes back home in 24 hours, or this is over. As you can imagine, I'm a wreck. I took the rest of the week off in between

crying sessions and staring blankly into the wall. I obsessively check my messages in hopes of someone telling me where John is. To be honest, if he's willing to put me through this, I'm not sure I want to be with him. How can you do this to someone you love? Next story, named my daughter Annabelle after my husband's grandmother who raised him. Then found out that it was also the name of my dad's affair partner. I-26F just gave birth to my daughter Annabelle. I didn't announce it beforehand because in the past one of my family members stole a baby name and it created a lot of drama. My mom wanted to know, but I was adamant on keeping it a secret. My mom and dad was in the room when I gave birth and when it was time for me to sign the birth certificate, my mom asked for the

name and I told her Annabelle. Her face went pale and my dad didn't look too happy, but he said he loved the name. My mom left a few minutes later claiming she didn't feel well. She said she'll come over in a few days to help with the baby. Now I'm at home with the baby and my mom hasn't talked to me that much. We used to talk every day, so I was confused by this sudden behavior. My sister Emily lives with mom still, so I called her over to talk. When she got to my house, she explained how she overheard dad and mom arguing because about 10 years ago dad had an affair with a co-worker named Annabelle. Mom hasn't been talking to him and he's been trying to get her to talk. I guess dad realizing that Emily had come over decided to come over himself. He asked if there is any way that I can

change Annabelle's name. I asked him why to see if he'll tell me the truth. And he did, he admitted to the affair. He begged Mom not to leave him and she stayed. But just hearing that name had always put her in a bad headspace. I told him I can't, and that Annabelle was the name of my husband's grandmother who helped raise him. My dad begged and pleaded for me to change it, saying mom was in the middle of packing her bags and heading to her sister's house. I told him I won't change her name and that it means so much to me and my husband. He began to raise his voice and immediately my sister yelled back and told him to get the hell out. She told him not to stress me out about a mess he created.

He left immediately. I'm not changing my baby's name but I feel like this is tearing the family apart. What should I do? Small edit. Annabel isn't her real name. Her real name only has three letters, so a nickname based off her name wouldn't be possible. And a lot of you suggested to change her first name to her middle name, but her middle name is my mom's name, and I don't want to change that. Additional info, oop on changing her baby's name for her parents' sakes and it shouldn't be a problem, oop, it really is, though.

My husband's mom had him at a really young age, so his grandma raised him. She recently passed away, so this our way to honor her. And this is a baby we've been trying for so for the past six months we've been calling her Annabelle. In this case my husband's feelings matter more than my mother's because this is his child too. My husband and I talked about it and as much as this hurts my mom, his grandma was superwoman. I can't hurt my husband because my dad hurt my mom. My dad needs to fix it not me didn't up know about the affair? So she could have give her daughter a different name-oop.

I didn't know until four days later. Paperwork is already filed and now it will cost to change the name-oop should change names to avoid the trauma for all-involvedoop. This might sound selfish, but why does a bad situation take precedence over a good situation? I get my mom is hurt. But what about my husband's grandmother who's sacrificed years, money and time for a child that wasn't hers? I think the good outweighs the bad in this situation. It's my husband's child too. His grandma is just as important as my mom in the situation. Hasup talked with her mother about the associated name?

Oop, not about this. I just found this out this morning. But for the past few days it's been just quick three-minute conversations. I knew something was bothering her. I just didn't know what it was until today. Update 1, September 27, 2024. So my sister went over to my aunt's house to talk to my mom about what happened. My mom then came to my house to talk. She broke down saying how sorry she is for being distant and that it was wrong not to communicate with us about what was happening. She said while the name did shock her at first, she knew how much Annabel meant to my husband and that she'll never do anything to discredit the work she put into raising him. I asked why she didn't tell us about the affair. She said because she knew that she was mentally too weak to

leave and the last thing she wanted was to show us it's okay to stay with a man who cheated on you. I asked if she planned on leaving dad, and she said she doesn't know. She admitted that she never got over the affair and is mad at herself for ruining the moment her granddaughter was born. I told her, is there a nickname that she wants to call hey by and she said no and that she wants to honor the memory of Annabelle's great-grandmother? We hugged it out and talked. So I think everything is okay. Comments where Op has replied, why can't Upp reject her husband's name choice for their daughter? She has the rights to decide on the name Upp. How am I selfish if my husband wanted to honor his grandmother? My husband's grandmother is essentially his mother. It's not from his mouth. Although he didn't want to change it,

he was telling it was probably for the best. My husband does not control me or control how I think comment her. Yeah, this is not fixed. She's saying things, but not feeling them yet. And it's going to seriously hit the fan if she winds up divorced, or your sister starts harping on her to divorce, because she will 100% associate your kid with her life falling apart. Oop, I get this as a possibility, but I'm pretty sure no one will blame my child. My father will 100% be responsible. Even my aunt told her that the baby is innocent, and that nobody is to blame but my dad. My mom looks up to my aunt and usually listens to her advice. I'm pretty sure my aunt was pushing for her to start a divorce so it's most likely going to happen.

Oop on how she will explain to her daughter about her name when she's older. Oop, they will hear the story about the women who stepped up to take care of her father because his mother was on drugs. They will hear the story about how she saved her grandson from suicide. They will hear the story about how she worked two jobs to save up for his college fund. She will hear the story about how her great-grandmother had to make multiple sacrifices to make it to every football and baseball game. I think that trumps my dad's a fair partner-up going L-C with her father-oop. The thing is I've never seen my dad act like that. So I'm going to go no contact until Annabelle is older and I'm heading from the birth.

Then I'll see where he's at and if he still blames me then I'm going NC-perman. update too. So I'm actually going to separate myself from my mom and my dad. My mom said she was going to get couples counseling as well as therapy for herself I thought that was good. I guess my dad reads somewhere that it's best to completely be honest about the situation if he wants to move on. My dad is a science teacher at a high school. So Annabel wasn't actually a co-worker but a student. He taught her as a freshman and had her in his AP class as a senior. She grew up. graduated at 17 and they added each other on Facebook and things went from there, I guess. I asked my mom if she knew Annabelle was a student and not a co-worker.

She broke down and admitted that she did. I asked her how can she be with someone like that? She didn't answer me. My sister was disgusted by him and cursed him out, calling him a child lover. She said she would never talk to him again. I agreed with her and told my mom that I can't allow my kids around her if she thought that my dad's behavior was okay. My dad said that Annabelle was an adult and that it was a mistake what happened between them. My mom even said it was a mistake to be open about the situation

if it was only going to make things worse. My sister moved in with me which I don't mind because the house is plenty of room. My dad and mom have been blowing up our phones. But I can't talk to either of them right now. I hope you enjoy this story. Rich spouse caused our child to betray me in a bitter separation. Sometime later she returned after he left her for a new child. I, a woman aged 32, was in a similar situation. Relationship with my ex-husband, Matthew for five years, and we were married for four years. Everything seemed perfect in the beginning, he was loving, came back home on time, was affectionate, and our relationship felt solid. I thought Matthew was the one for me but as you can anticipate from the title, everything quickly changed after our marriage

and especially when I got pregnant with our daughter, Elena. You see, my parents haven't been in the picture since I was 17 since they were drug addicts. I started to live with my grandparents and went to community college to get a degree. During this time, I was working part-time at our local cafe as a waitress which is where I met Matthew. He would come to our cafe for his daily coffee run. One day, out of nowhere, asked me out. I was a bit unsure at first but decided to take a chance and the rest is history. Matthew comes from a wealthy family and I didn't know this at that time but he would love bomb me a lot in the beginning. He would surprise me with thoughtful gestures, extravagant dates and expensive gifts. Matthew made it seem like he was genuinely invested in our relationship

and I couldn't help but be swept off my feet by the charm he exuded. His family's wealth played a significant role in shaping his lifestyle, and he spared no expense when it came to impressing me. As our relationship progressed, we decided to take the next step and get married. My grandparents came to our wedding and were extremely happy for me since they loved Matthew initially, everything in our marriage seemed to fall into place. However, things took an unexpected turn when I noticed a notification on his phone from a girl on Facebook whom I didn't recognize. In a moment of insecurity, I decided to check his phone. something I had never felt the need to do before.

To my surprise, I discovered he had been messaging random women to see if they were single. It was quite apparent that my husband was flirting with them. In the text messages, he was also telling them how he was a widow and his wife passed away early. I realized that he was saying these lies to gain sympathy from women so they would feel inclined to go out with him. This revelation left me in shock, and I couldn't help but take screenshots of the messages and usernames for future reference. I then confronted him about it and my husband immediately attempted to comfort me, insisting that it was just a one-time mistake. In my emotional state, I couldn't help but ask if he had gone on dates or slept with other women. This question seemed to anger him, and he started

shouting at me that I had no proof to accuse him of something like this. I felt bad hearing this since it was true that there was no sign that he had physically met with them. Matthew then told me that what I had done was an invasion of his privacy and he was willing to forgive and forget as long as I let this thing go as well. Like a fool, I agreed thinking that this might just be a one-time mistake. What I will never forget is that this incident exposed a side of him

that I had never seen before in all our years together. While he had occasionally shown anger before, this reaction to me confronting him was unprecedented. Eventually, this cheating incident started happening more and more. Every time I would talk to him about it hoping that he would change, he would continue lying and gaslight me into staying with him. I have to admit that during that point in my life, I didn't even have the balls to leave him. I had no money or assets to my name. I knew that Matthew gave me a comfortable life despite his discrepancies, so I would try to convince myself thinking that he was great in other aspects at least.

I was so in love with him that I never mentioned his abuses to my own grandparents even though they would sometimes feel. like there was something wrong. I don't know why, but I just didn't want to admit to anyone that I was unhappy with him. When I got pregnant with Elena, I was over the moon to have a baby daughter. Matthews seemed unhappy when I broke the news to him, but I thought he would eventually come about. Unfortunately, things started to get worse from then. Being a first time mother, I realized that I needed to start setting up a nursery for our baby for which I needed funds. I tried talking to Matthew about it so we could go and shop for the baby together, but to my shock, he got really mad at me. He started calling me a gold digger, and said that I was ruining his life.

I was heartbroken hearing him accusing me suddenly that night. I cried myself to sleep worrying about my and my baby's future. I didn't know where to go if he decided to leave me. But the next day, Matthew acted like nothing had happened. He told me his mom would be coming and helping me out with the nursery. I was confused by. agreed. When his mom came, she helped me out with everything but didn't really bother to check how I was doing. This is how his parents had always been. They somehow looked down on me for coming from a lowly family and they expected me to take care of their son like a maid. Throughout my pregnancy, Matthew kept switching between acting normal and exploding in anger towards me. He would go on rants about how he

felt stuck with me and how he wished that child was never born. I felt stuck and didn't know what to expect. It was too late now to terminate my pregnancy. As the baby's due date got closer, our home became more tense and it took a toll on me emotionally. When Elena was born, I knew that I had to protect this baby no matter what. Now I had one more life that I was responsible for so I knew that I could not handle Matthew's mood swings and emotional abuse anymore. I needed to find a way to earn money so I could save for a rainy day. Once Elena was a year old, I started looking for jobs that I could do from home. In my search for a more stable and reliable work from home opportunity, I came across a customer service position with a reputable company. The job involved

handling customer inquiries and resolving issues remotely, allowing me to maintain a flexible schedule while taking care of Elena. This new job brought a sense of financial independence, but it also marked the beginning of more conflicts in the beginning. He forbade me from getting a job saying that it was not needed but I was determined and I persisted. I told him how I was taking care of Elena and the rest of the household work so what I did during my free time should not be his concern. As my income increased, so did his resentment. He started accusing me of neglecting my responsibilities at home, despite my continuous efforts to balance work and motherhood. The emotional toll was getting overwhelming but I knew that I had to

bid my time. I needed to work and save money so I could have the option one day. to walk out of this marriage. When Matthew could not pick a fight with me, he would use our daughter against us. He even taught our daughter the B-word and would encourage her to use it on me if she didn't want to listen to me. He knew the only way he could get to me was through my daughter, so he would spend a lot of time with her and pollute her mind about how I didn't love her enough and how he was the only parent she could depend on. Now if you are thinking, why didn't I stop this? I did try my best, but daughters are somehow closer to their dads. Elena chose to believe and trust my husband over me since he was the fun parent while I was the parent who would enforce rules.

Fast forward to when Elena turned 15 years old, I found my daughter exchanging nudes with a 23-year-old guy when I walked into our bathroom by mistake and saw her clicking selfies. I immediately confiscated her phone and checked her messages to see all the inappropriate messages that they had exchanged. Elena started shouting at me that I had no right to take her phone but I didn't care. I called the guy she was talking with and asked him if he knew that she was just 15 years old. He seemed horrified hearing this and told me how my daughter had lied to him about her age and he had proof about it. He then apologized and assured me that he would be deleting her chats and photos and would never contact her again. Hearing this, Elena started screaming at me about how horrible of a mother and how she wished I was dead. She abused me some more and then locked herself in her room.

When Matthew came, I told him about everything but he seemed surprisingly calm. I got suspicious and asked him why as a father he was not reacting. This is when Matthew revealed that he had known all along that she had been talking to a guy since Elena had shared with him about her relationship. He did say that he had no idea about the guy's age since Elena never mentioned that. I was shocked, to say the least, and started yelling at him about how he could let his 15-year-old daughter think it was okay for her to date a guy he had never even met. Matthew acted nonchalantly and told me that this was quite normal for teenagers. I was disgusted hearing this and this is when I

decided that I had enough. I told him that our daughter was a child and it was his responsibility to have protected her instead of letting her send nudes to a 23-year-old guy. Clearly, he didn't deserve to be a father so I announced that I was leaving him. Matthew started saying how I was completely overreacting and that I was being a little too much. I didn't wait to hear more shit from him and walked upstairs to pack a bag for myself. By this time, I had saved up enough to put a down payment on my name so I was not afraid to leave Matthew anymore. By this time, my grandparents had passed away and they had left behind a small fortune for me so I knew that I was ready to leave this man so I could protect my daughter. I told Elena to come with me but to my surprise, she refused.

I told her that I was leaving her dad and she needed to come with me but Elena told me how I was the worst parent in the world for breaking up the family and that she preferred living with her dad who could get her everything that she wanted rather than with me. I was at my wits end and started pleading with her telling her how she needed to be with me but Elena refused. Matthew laughed in my face and told me to get out of his house since Elena had already made a decision to stay with him. Watching me walk out of his house, he taunted how the trash was finally taking itself out.

It hurt me to leave my daughter behind with this toxic man, but I needed to get my affairs in order first. I thought Elena would eventually come around. I met and hired a strong divorce lawyer who understood my predicament. We served Matthew's divorce papers. I didn't want a single penny from him, but Matthew, on the other hand, demanded that I pay him back for all the money he claimed to have spent on me throughout our marriage. It was utterly laughable since I had been a dedicated housewife, managing our home. and taking care of his needs without any financial compensation. The audacity he had to consider as him spending money on me left me incredulous.

Despite my willingness to forego any financial settlement, Matthew remained stubborn in his demand. The situation escalated quickly, and our respective lawyers attempted to negotiate a fair resolution. However, Matthew was unyielding, not only about the financial matters, but also regarding custody rights over Elena. I knew he was doing this just to make it harder for me to leave him. As the divorce proceedings unfolded, my husband played his cards well. Although he lost his stand on demanding any money for me since the judge observed that I had worked hard to serve him so he had absolutely no right to ask me for money, he successfully convinced our daughter when it came time for custody hearing that she should stay with him.

He tricked her into standing against me in court, so when the judge asked for her opinion, she started saying how abusive and controlling I was. I was heartbroken to hear my own daughter say these lies by portraying me as this big villain. I tried to explain how she was talking to an older guy while being a minor herself, but Matthew and Elena refused my allegations. As a result, Matthew was granted full custody and I was ordered to pay a hefty child support to him every month. For me to be able to pay him this child support, I knew I wasn't earning well enough at that time to be able to pay this much.

During this time, I was still getting settled into my new life as a single parent and had a lot of lawyers' fees to pay as well while Matthew knowingly had dragged this whole thing out. I was still in shock after the verdict since I still couldn't imagine that Elena would do this to me. She had slowly become exactly like Matthew, a manipulative and a liar. This child support was also unfair when I was the one who had worked hard to protect her from him. Ultimately, I was left burdened with this colossal child support debt that I was now. unjustly going to be forced to pay up. Shocked by her betrayal, when I confronted Elena regarding this, she smirked saying how it served me right to now pay for her while she could live with her dad and do whatever it is

that she wants. I tried to reason with her saying how I was only trying to protect her but to my dismay, she stated that she didn't have any protection and this is why she hated being my child. She remarked why I couldn't be more like her dad and told me how Matthew had promised her his entire inheritance, and in her eyes, that seemed to outweigh any loyalty to the mother who had loved and cared for her. I was shocked to hear her so casually admit this. From then on, I knew that I needed to cut off all ties with her and Matthew. If this is what Elena wanted, then I was going to grant her wish. I have spent the last three years paying child

support while going into debt but making sure to not miss any child support payments since I didn't want to pay any fines or be dragged to court again. Until Elena turned 18 years old, then, she was completely her dad's responsibility I was finally free. These last three years have been very, very hard on me yet I have persevered. I have been promoted twice and earned quite well currently. I live alone in this flat quite peacefully. Throughout all this, neither Matthew nor Elena have tried to talk to me. Yesterday, while working from home, there was a ring on my doorbell. I opened the door to see Elena standing on my doorstep looking distressed. My eyes widened in shock to see her. It had been three years since I had seen her face. She smiled at me politely

and asked me if she could come in. Still in shock, I let her in. Elena looked uneasy as she entered my flat. The air was thick with tension, and I couldn't fathom why she would show up after three years of silence. She nervously sat down, and I cautiously took a seat across from her. After an awkward silence, Elena finally spoke up. She started by apologizing for her past actions, acknowledging the pain she had caused me when she was a teenager. Her eyes welled up as she began to share the details of her tumultuous relationship with Matthew, her father for these last few years. Elena explained that Matthew had started dating shortly after our divorce.

His new girlfriend didn't share the same affection for Elena. This would lead to constant clashes between. between the both of them. When her stepmother became pregnant, Matthew shifted his entire attention to his upcoming baby and forgot Elena completely. She slowly started realizing how shitty of a parent he was. He didn't really care about any of her interests and now that he had a brand new baby, he didn't bother about her at all. Recently, things escalated when the stepmother falsely accused Elena of trying to harm the baby as Elena was jealous of her child. Elena told me how this was a blatant lie but the stepmother somehow convinced Matthew to the point where he decided he wanted

nothing to do with Elena anymore. She told me about the heated arguments, how Matthew told her to get out of his house, and the subsequent fallout. From her shaky voice and water work, it was clear that Elena was in a vulnerable position. She started pleading with me to let bygones be bygones and allow her back into my life, arguing that I owed it to her as her mother. My initial shock turned into a mixture of emotions, compassion, anger, and confusion. It was difficult to digest the sudden twist of events. However, I couldn't ignore the years of hurt and betrayal. As she sat, tears streaming down her face, begging for support, I maintained my resolve.

I reminded her of the debt she indirectly contributed to during my divorce proceedings, the lies she told for her father, and the toll it took on my life. I told her how hard I had to work to pay for her child support and the debt that I had accumulated as a result while she lived her best life with Matthew. With a polite smile, I told her that she wasn't welcome back into my life until she could somehow find a way to clear the debt. Elena started arguing saying how she had no one else to ask for help. I told her it was none of my business and she needed to get out of my house since I wanted nothing to do with her. She looked at me in shock, but I got up and opened the door for her. She walked out of my flat, still in disbelief.

Although a part of me is okay with this decision due to the scars from the past that remind me of the pain she had inflicted on me during the custody battle and the subsequent years of child support payments. There is also a small part of me that feels sorry for her. Ida for kicking my daughter after how she lied during our divorce proceedings and forced me into debt? Update 1, I read your comments. Though there weren't many, I took every NTA and UTA in. into consideration. It has made me realize I need to have a serious chat with Matthew regarding Elena. It's sad that he is such a shitty person and was able to manipulate our daughter so much that she never maintained any contact with me. I also called Elena to find out where is staying and

she told me she was at her boyfriend's place. I told her that I would talk to Matthew about it and make sure that this issue would be resolved. To everyone asking why I didn't ask my ex-husband for any money, it's because I honestly wanted nothing from him when I made up my mind to leave him. I just wanted him out of my life and he decided to manipulate our daughter into framing me as a villain. Since he abused me emotionally and financially, it was difficult for me and my lawyer to prove that. At this point, I honestly don't care since I am able to lead a comfortable life on my own without ever taking his help which I'm proud of. Also, some of you have asked me why I didn't try fighting for custody again. Well, when your own child doesn't want to live with you and openly admits

that she has chosen her father because of his wealth, how can you convince her? Unfortunately, fathers have more rights when it comes to children, and given my mental, and at that time physical, health, I didn't want to go back to court. Even when I was going into debt for paying the hefty child support, I didn't care and worked hard just to start leading a normal life again away from Matthew. Update 2, yesterday, I braced myself. for a difficult conversation as I dialed Matthew's number, preparing to confront him about Elena's unexpected visit and the troubling revelations she shared. I plunged into the heart of the matter, recounting how Elena had turned up on my doorstep. Matthew's initial reaction was defensive.

He claimed he was exhausted with both his wife and Elena clashing all the time. He even said he felt Elena was a danger to his new baby. I got really mad hearing all that. I reminded him that Elena was his own daughter, someone who always looked up to him and who even went as far as lying for him when he wanted her too. I told him he needed to treat her better, that he couldn't just push her away like that. I also told him that he had no proof that Elena had harmed his baby in any way except for his new wife's words and that he needed to start listening to Elena's side of the story as well. Though Matthew attempted to cling to his justifications, I sensed a glimmer of guilt flickering beneath the surface a reluctant acknowledgement of his own failings as a father.

Eventually, I got through to him. He apologized for kicking Elena out. I suggested he talked to his parents and asked if Elena could stay with them since she was crashing at her boyfriend's place. After some back and forth, he agreed to do so. I finally felt relieved. Today, Elena texted me saying she's with her grandparents now. It's a small step forward, but at least she's in a safer and more stable situation.

I told her that although we couldn't repair our relationship immediately, we could take small steps towards it. Update 3. It's been four months since my last update, and things have really changed for the better, especially between me and Elena. Surprisingly, Elena decided to move back in with Matthew after he apologized to her face-to-face. He also had a serious talk with his new wife, asking her to treat Elena better. Since then, things at Matthew's house had been calmer. There's more harmony in their place, and Elena seems happier and more confident. We did meet a few times and although it is awkward, I understand that I need to forgive her for the past.

Contrary to popular opinion, I haven't forgiven my ex-husband nor am I back in contact with him. I had to talk to him last time for the sake of Elena, but that was it. I have been open to repairing my relationship with my daughter only since she has realized her mistakes. I'm proud of the person she's becoming every day. Our relationship is getting stronger every day as we work through our issues and support each other. There are still challenges ahead, but I'm hopeful. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother accused me of being responsible for my separation when my spouse left me for a different woman,

and informed me that I had shamed the family for my inability. To make the marriage work. Hey, I'm 48F, and I have a 23-year-old son and he's getting married in two weeks. A few days back, my mother, 70F, who I haven't been in touch with for the past 16 years, got in touch with me because she wanted to attend her grandson's wedding. We haven't been in touch because 16 years ago, my ex-husband cheated on me and I filed for a divorce, and my mother decided to blame me for it. My ex-husband and I had been together for just a year when I got pregnant and I decided to keep the baby, but I had given him the option to leave if he didn't want to stay with me. I was ready to be a mother at the time, but he wasn't ready to be a father. We did end up getting married, though, because of pressure from his family since they wanted

to have a relationship with their grandson. So he had to marry me because of his family and like most other couples who end up in this situation, we were not happy after we got married. Life after marriage was difficult since my ex-husband was constantly fighting with me, and after a few years, we just stopped talking. Then when my son was seven years old, I discovered a few messages on his phone, and I realized that he had been cheating on me with his friend for a year. That was the end of our relationship. I moved out that day and filed for a divorce that week itself.

Under circumstances like that, I would have expected my family to support me and my father actually did support me, but my mother had told me to go back to him and tried to make that marriage work. I don't know why, but she believed that my ex-husband had decided to cheat on me. me because I was the one who hadn't been able to keep him happy in the marriage and so, he had decided to look for happiness elsewhere, outside of the marriage. She thought that it was my fault that we were getting divorced and had told me that it was my duty, as his wife, to try my best to make the marriage work, and it didn't matter that he had cheated on me. What mattered was that we could still forget about all of this and try to make it better for the future. I thought that her ideas were archaic and we had fought a lot over the things that she said to me because I had believed

that the least she could do for me was be supportive of me, but instead. She was insisting that I go back to the man who hadn't been able to give me any sort of happiness or hope for the future in the seven years that we had been together. I was personally relieved that I was going to be able to leave him because for so long, the only reason I had tried to make it work with him was because of my son. But after he had cheated, and I found out about it, I had come to the realization that if I stayed in this relationship, then neither would I ever end up being happy nor would my son. So it would be better for everyone if we ended this sham of a marriage and my ex-husband and I agreed on that, but my mother didn't. After I filed for a divorce, my mother kept bothering me for a bit,

but I didn't bother to pay attention to her and decided to go through with the divorce anyway. At least my father was supporting me, so I wasn't too worried. But unfortunately, for months into the divorce proceedings, I lost my father to a hard attack. It was really sudden and at the time, my mother and I had not exactly been getting along well because she thought I was messing things up for myself by getting that divorce. So at the time that my dad passed away, I had only been talking to him, but I had been avoiding my mother for a couple of weeks. When I reached out to her to tell her that I wanted to help her plan the funeral so that we

could reconcile, she told me to leave her alone and said that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore. She called me a disgrace to the family, since I was one of the first women in our family to actually leave their husband instead of tolerating whatever they did, and she told me that it was my fault that my husband had left me for another woman because I was too selfish and never cared about anyone's happiness, except for my own. My father had already passed away, so the only person who had been connecting the both of us was gone and with him gone. I didn't feel the need to ever speak to my mother again after the things that she had said to me. She had been horrible to me, and after I attended my dad's funeral, I decided that I was never going to see or speak to her

again. And I'm pretty sure that she was fine with it because after that, she did not try to reach out to me either. I was completely on my own during divorce because I'm not very close to the rest of my family and I only had a few friends to help me out. After everything was finalized, I decided to start applying to jobs outside of the state because I just couldn't bear to live there anymore. And luckily, I got a well-paying job within a few weeks. Within a month of my divorce being finalized, I left everything behind and moved away. I had full custody of my son since his father hadn't actually been interested and I had seen that coming because even though we had been together for seven years for our son's sake, he had never really been invested in our son like I was. He had visitation rights, but he never utilized those after the divorce apart from the holidays.

But even those visits on the holidays stopped after a year or two and he continued to pay child support, but never bothered to see his son. I haven't heard from him for a really long time, but I know from a couple of old friends that he's doing great and he's married to the friend that he had that affair with. As for my family, I never was particularly close to anyone and neither were they bothered about me, so I haven't been in touch with them ever since I left. and my mother and I have never spoken in the past 16 years. I'm putting all of this out because I want everyone to know that since my son was seven years old, I have raised him completely on my own.

I have handled my work and managed to build a business and raise him all on my own without any support, emotional or otherwise, not even from my own mother. So when, a few days ago, she showed up at my house uninvited, I was pretty surprised. She is pretty old now, but so am I. and I wasn't happy on seeing her so I did not invite her in. When I asked her how she found me, she told me that she had asked a couple of my high school friends, and one of them had told her and then she told me that she had come all the way here to ask me if she would be allowed to be a part of the wedding of her grandson.

She told me that she had been thinking about it ever since she heard that my son was engaged, since I had posted about it on social media and I'm guessing people from the family must have seen that or something. And she knew that we hadn't spoken in the past 16 years. but she felt that it was time to bury the hatchet and make peace for the sake of her grandson because she wasn't sure how much time she had left and she wanted to get the opportunity to bond with him, even if it was just a little. But she didn't say the one thing that I expected her to say,

and that was that she was sorry for everything that she had said to me in the past. I waited for a bit for her to say that, and then I might have even considered accepting her request to be present at the wedding, but she just stared at me without saying anything and it was so frustrating that I laughed in her face and I told her that no, I definitely did not want her at the wedding, and I'm sure that neither would my son. Then, I asked her to leave because I didn't want to speak with her anymore and she left, but she looked very shocked with the way that I had behaved with her. After she was gone, I decided to call up my son and tell him about what just happened because,

after all, this was his wedding and he should also have a say in what happens. I was pretty certain that he was going to tell me that I had done the right thing by asking his grandmother to leave, but after he told him everything, he told me that I might have been a bit too quick in asking her to go away. I hadn't seen that coming in was disappointed that he was not on my side, but then, he kept talking and explained to me that it had been 16 years since we last spoke and neither of us had felt that it was necessary to reach out to the other. Which is fine because what my mother had done back then was unacceptable and I had my reasons not to speak to her. But now, since she had made the effort to reach out to me, I should have at least invited her in and try to

tried to speak to her instead of telling her to go away. Maybe she hadn't apologized right off the bat, but I can chalk that up to old age and the least I could have done was at least give her an opportunity to speak to me and try and make things right. My son was the one who told me that I should reach out to her again and just talk to her once and maybe we'll be able to make things right. He also reminded me that my mother is also getting old and she might not have a lot of time left.

So after she's gone, he wouldn't want me to regret letting go of this one opportunity to make things right between the two of us. Of course, he told me that in the end, it has to be my decision, but that's what he would suggest to me. His suggestion actually seems pretty reasonable, but it's just been so long that I don't feel like speaking to my mother anymore. All that hurt and resentment is still inside of me somewhere and I don't know if I'll ever be able to let that go. But what he said about my mother getting old and not having enough time was also true and truth be told, I don't know how I feel about that. It's just all a man. mess in my head right now and I feel like my brain is divided into two parts right now, one that

wants to reach out to my mother and speak to her and the other. That keeps reminding me of all the things that she had said to me when I was going through the toughest time in my life and she never bothered to reach out to me in the past 16 years. So I'd offer not wanting to reconcile with my mother after 16 years of no contact. Update 1, hey, everyone, so there are just four days to go before my son gets married, and a few days back, after speaking to my son, I decided that I was going to give it a try and actually try to fix my relationship with my mother. He was thrilled about it, and he told me that he would be there for it as well, in case I needed moral or emotional support and I really was grateful for it. The only issue was that we didn't exactly know how to get

through to her or if she was even here anymore. But thankfully, I asked a couple of my friends from high school and one of them confessed to having given her my address because she had been pestering them nonstop and so, she just caved and sent her my address. Then, I asked her to give me my mother's contact info if she could, and she was able to arrange for it in a while and that's how we contacted her. I called her up and when she picked up the phone, she was pretty surprised to hear me on this and but anyway, I invited her over for dinner and I told her that I would be willing to speak to her about all of this if she was still here. Luckily, she hadn't left and was planning on going back after a week, since she was staying

here with her niece's family and they were quite happy to have her here. Anyway, last evening, she came over for dinner and it was really awkward and weird but I was thankful that my son and his fiancé were here to try and defuse the situation. My mother told me about her life and how it had been for her for the past 16 years and I told her a little about how it had been for me. Apparently, six years ago, my mother had remarried but unfortunately lost her second husband a few months ago. It had been really lonely for her in the past couple of months, especially after her second husband had passed away as well,

and she realized that she hadn't exactly done the right thing by pushing her own daughter away. She told me that she was really sorry that she had been so horrible to me in the past and told me that I didn't deserve what I had been through. It was quite surreal for me to hear her say that because I really hadn't expected her to apologize and I still couldn't believe it because this was finally happening after 16 years. Anyway, while she apologized, she started crying and she told me that she knew that she wasn't ever going to get these 16 years back and that what happened was irreversible, but she still wanted to make the rest of her life count and do something right for once.

When she started crying, I started feeling bad for her and I told her that now that she was here, we were going to really give it a try and make things right between us again. But she just couldn't stop sobbing and after one thing. we had to abandon dinner just so that we could console her because she was sobbing so violently. It was clear that she had been holding herself back for a really long time and now, the dam had finally burst. She just kept telling me that she was really sorry about everything and that she hadn't been a good mother and she wanted to apologize to me for her failure. So after a while, I just decided to hug her so she could calm down for a bit and then I took her

to the guest room so she could lay down and rest. Then, my son, his fiancé. He said, and and I went back to dinner and finished it all up. While she was resting, my son and I got to talking and I told him that I was really happy that he suggested that we reconcile or at least try to talk to each other because so far, things have been going pretty well. After so many years, it's definitely not going to be easy to repair our relationship, but we have to start somewhere if we want that and this is a good place to start. My mother ended up spending the night here that day and the next morning.

When she left, I told her to get all her things. and stay with me until it was time for her to go back. She agreed readily and my cousin and her family moved her in here. They're distant cousins, so I'm not very close to them and I honestly didn't even know that I had family here, but I thanked them as well, and they told me that they were grateful that I was taking over from here because for the last couple of days. All my mother had been talking about was me and how she had screwed everything up. So they believed that my decision to have her move in with me for the next couple of days was a good

one since it would help us reconcile, and I agree. My mother hasn't broken down anymore after that day and things are still a bit awkward and strained between us, but I know that she's trying to erase that gap of 16 years as best as she can. The wedding is coming up so I've been busy with that as well and I also have worked to attend too, so we mostly only get to talk to each other peacefully in the evenings and our conversations have been pretty nice so far. It makes me feel glad that I decided to give this a chance because I feel like I might be able to get my old relationship. with her back again. Update 2. Hello, Everyone. So my son got married last week in two days after that, he and his wife left for their honeymoon. The wedding went really well, everything was

exceptionally beautiful and my mother was glad to be there as well. She kept talking about how wonderfully I had raised my son, even though I had been all on my own and she told me that she would have never been able to do it on her own if she had been in my place. So it was really a commendable job that I had done. My son and his now wife have been together for the past 10 years and that's something that came up pretty frequently during the wedding, and my mother told me later on that even though my son was his father's kid as well. She couldn't see even the slightest resemblance to him that was a good thing because I had raised a good man. She acknowledged that she had been wrong about my ex-husband and told me that I had done the right thing by leaving him. And finally,

she explained why she had been so against the idea of me leaving my husband. My mother, my mother, had been raised in a very strict Catholic family, and I knew that. I was also aware of the fact that her parents believed that getting a divorce was not a valid solution to anything and she had been raised to believe the same thing since they didn't even recognize divorce. And I was pretty much the first woman in my family to get a divorce because everyone had had a similar kind of upbringing. Even my father came from a similar family, but his family was not as strict as my mom's. However, even in his family, divorce was not encouraged, and when I had decided to leave my husband, I hadn't posted about it or anything but words still got around because I had left his house and

stuff. And when that happened, people in my family started gossiping and telling my mother that she needed to stop me from leaving my husband because it was a sin. Once we were married, we were married, and there was nothing that we could do to reverse that. So the only option I had was to just make it work and they made it seem like cheating was not even that big of a deal because their husband used to do it constantly, so they thought that I should treat it as something that just happens and not take it seriously either. But I did not function with the same moral code, and I decided to leave and that created quite a stir in the family.

People were quite upset that I was doing something like this and that's why my mother kept trying to discourage me because she knew that the family would cut me off and keep gossiping about me behind my back. In some way, I guess she thought she was protecting me in some weird twisted way, but that's not how it works. Things only got worse when my dad passed away because people were already upset with me and when that happened, they started taking up the opportunity to make it seem like it was my sin that my dad had been punished for. My mother told me that a bunch of relatives started brainwashing her and believing that because I had decided to go against my husband and leave him in spite of their advice, it was my father who had to bear the punishment of my friend.

My mother had lost her soulmate at the time because, unlike my marriage, both my parents had been in love with each other. She was very vulnerable at the time and her family took advantage of that and decided to turn her against me completely. That was why she started to believe that maybe it was actually my fault that she had lost her husband and that's why she decided to cut me out of her life. When I learned about all of this, even though I knew some bits of it, I felt angry and hurt all over again. Because even though I had known that her family had a huge part to play in all of this, I didn't know what they had been saying about why my dad had passed away. I couldn't believe that even my mother had believed it was my fault that she had lost her husband back then.

I felt like I wanted to draw back from her once again, but she told me that it had taken her a long time, but she had realized that she was the one who had screwed up by believing whatever nonsense had been fed to her by her family and it was completely her fault that she had pushed me away from her for so many years. She also told me that after she got married for a second time, her late husband had tried to get her to talk to me on multiple occasions and had tried to get her to cut her family off because they were very toxic, but she had refused. It was only towards the end of his life when he had fallen very ill, that she realized what he was talking about and started to acknowledge her mistakes. And she told me that she really wanted to tell me that I was stronger than most of the women in our family and maybe everyone resented me for that. But anyway, we cannot change the past and now that we have started trying to fix our relationship, I don't want to go back on.

that. So my mother and I are still staying together and we are actively trying to reconcile and make up for lost time. Update 3. Hey, guys. Three weeks have passed since my last update and my mother has still been living with me, but she has decided to go back by the end of this week. Things have been going really well and we have been bonding. Occasionally, it still gets really weird and silent, but we have been trying not to let that get in the way of our reconciliation. Anyway, she has decided to go back for a couple of months so she can sort everything out back home and then move back in here with me permanently. I know a lot of people are not going to agree with my decision, but she's not getting any younger and I really want to be there for her. When we were younger, when I was a kid, she was my best friend.

And slowly, we are going back to that relationship that we used to have when I was little and I don't want to lose it anymore. So I think it's for the best if she comes back to live with me permanently. And I've also been pretty lonely ever since my son moved out, so I think I could do with some company. My mother has told me that she's going to put our old house up for sale because the memories attached to that house are just too much to handle and I agree. I think it's the best decision she could make right now. I can't go with her because I have worked here, but my son has told me that he's going to return in a couple of days, so he'll handle everything.

Thankfully, my mother doesn't really have any serious health problems as of now, so she can handle herself alone, but she just needs somebody to be there for her while she's traveling. Once she comes back, we have also been talking about going to therapy together. It's my cousin who told us to give it a try and to be honest, my mom wasn't really into the idea because it's a very newfangled concept for her, but I told her that it would be worth it. So now, I'm just going to wait for her to come back after she's done with all the work back home and then, she's going to be living here. I'm quite happy about it because she and I have been spending a lot of time together recently and I have been having a great time with her.

In these past 16 years, I'd almost forgotten how fun and witty she could be when she wanted to only the bad parts had stayed with me after our massive fallout part, but slowly, but surely, we're getting the good parts back again. I really don't know how much time I have left with her. If I'm lucky then I might get a lot, but whatever I have left, I want to make the most of it. We have spent enough of our lives being angry at each other. I think it's time that we leave all that in the past. Update 4, Hi, Guys. So I have absolutely heartbreaking news for everyone, my mother has unfortunately passed away. It has been five months since she moved back home so she could wrap up all the work she had there and sell the house. At first, I didn't think that it would take her so long

to sell the house, but she told me that she had other things to attend to as well before she moved in with me. I didn't think much of it and we kept in touch over the past five months. We would often FaceTime each other and she had started to look quite sick, but whenever I would ask her about it, she told me it was just the camera and her phone had poor quality, which was true so I didn't question it. Then, two days ago, I was informed that she had passed away in the hospital. She had a nurse who had taken her to the hospital in the middle of the night, but she hadn't been able to make it. Apparently, she had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia about two months before she came to see me. She had been undergoing treatment, but the disease had already gotten to a stage when it was too late to do anything. So for a few weeks, she decided to come see me instead of wasting her time on treatment because she knew that she was going to pass away eventually and she wanted to make things right with me before that happened.

She never told me anything about it because she didn't want to make me upset, and after she passed away, it was her nurse who told me everything. I'm still trying to process and cope with this loss, but I'm really happy about the fact that I did. decided to give it a chance and even though I had very little time to spend with her before, she eventually passed away. I'm very grateful that I even got that time. My son was right, I would have definitely regretted it if I had not given this a chance. For those of you who had said that the only reason she wanted to make things right with me at this age was because she needed somebody to take care of her in her old age, I guess you were wrong because she knew she wasn't going to make it. And she didn't need me to take care of her, she just needed me to forgive her and

spend some time with her before she passed on. I'm organizing her funeral at the end of this week and flying back home for it. Condolences have been pouring in from her family, who always hated me so I know that it's all pretend, but I don't really care about it. I'm content with the time that we got to spend before she passed away and I'm always going to cherish it. I hope you enjoy this story. I became frustrated with my stepchild for accusing me of being a fortune hunter for tying the knot with his dad, who was relying on my financial support, and for not addressing his son's behavior. Destroyed my car. For context, my husband Thomas and I have been together for six years, married for two. He also has a 19-year-old son from his previous marriage, but unfortunately,

his first wife passed away from an unexpected aneurism about five years before he met me. His son, Rob, was nine years old at the time and he took it really hard. He was a very troubled kid and as he grew up, things only got worse. By the time I was introduced to him, he was around 13 or 14, and getting to know him was not a pleasant experience because he made it very clear to me right from the beginning that I would never be able to take the place of his mother, something that I was not even interested in doing, and that he would never accept me as part of the family. I tried to be his friend, but the kid was just determined to make sure that I gave up on the relationship and I left. I had spoken to Thomas about it as well and suggested that he sent

to therapy so he could deal with his emotions and he told me that they had tried everything but he just didn't seem to want to get better. After his last wife had passed away, Thomas had not even thought about dating people for a really long time, but when he had met me, he changed his mind. I was pretty much one of the first women he got serious about after his wife passed away. He had gone out on a couple of dates that year, but none of them got a second date out of him apart from me, and he had told me about it right in the beginning. Thomas has always been been very upfront and honest about everything with me and he had also told me that Rob was not going to be particularly welcoming because he is not over his mother's passing and that's why

he wanted to take it slow with me, before he introduced me to the family. So we were actually together for one year before he finally brought me home and even then, Rob was very unkind to me. For the first few years, all he could do was just throw temper tantrums and be rude to me and while initially, I would try to understand and be kind to him. Eventually, I just started ignoring him because it was not worth my energy to even fight him. I had also told Thomas repeatedly to do something about his son's behavior, and Thomas would occasionally reprimand Rob, but it would be pointless because he would just go back to his usual behavior after that.

And I loved Thomas truly and genuinely from the bottom of my heart, so I knew that no matter what, I wanted to make it work with him. This is why I stayed with him for almost six years, in spite of him constantly forgiving his son, but what happened recently was the last straw for me. Three years back, around the time that Thomas had proposed to me and I had said yes, he had also started a new business. Unfortunately, it didn't take off and for the past couple of years, he has been trying to make it work,

but it just hasn't been going well for him financially. I let him try his luck with his business for almost three years because it was his passion project, but when it still didn't take off, I tried to tell him that maybe it was time to move on to better things or go back to his job because this was clearly not going well for him. I had started telling him to give up on his business and do something else recently, just a few months ago, since for the past three years we have been living off of my money for the most part. I've been getting worried because I can't afford to support our family on just my income since that will leave very little for me in the future when I want to retire. So I had been trying to gently nudge Thomas in the right direction, but he was being very stubborn and he kept telling me that he just needed some more time to work on his business model and would keep coming up with excuses not to give up. I really wanted to be understanding, but it was impossible for me to keep supporting him,

knowing that this was not working. So recently, we had been fighting a lot over this, and I guess at some point, his son had overheard what we were talking about, and he came to the conclusion that I was a gold digger for telling Thomas to sell off his business to any interested buyers and go back to his job so we could make more money. I found that very insulting because the one thing that I'm definitely not a gold digger, I've always been independent, and I couldn't stand the insinuation that I had been relying on my husband for money when it had actually been the other way around. I had wanted to correct Rob when he started calling me a gold digger because it had come up a few weeks ago when I had told him to do some chores and he had told me that he was not going to take orders from a gold digger with no self-respect or dignity, and when I had asked him what he meant by that because I was obviously appalled.

He had explained his thought process to me. Before I could correct him, Thomas intervened and broke up the fight and then he, he put me aside and told me not to tell his son anything because Rob had no idea that we had been living off of my money for so long and he wanted to preserve his image in front of his son because it would be very shameful for him to admit that he was struggling with money. As a father, it would be humiliating for him to show his son how he had fallen and Thomas pretty much begged me not to tell him the truth, so I obliged. But I had to pay the price for it because after that day, things started getting more difficult for me since now that Rob believed that I was a gold digger, he kept using that against me, and it was very tempting for me to tell him the truth.

But I had to think of Thomas and stayed silent for his sake. Rob had come back home for his winter break and I knew that he would be gone in a couple of weeks, so I only had to tolerate him for a few weeks and since I had already put up with him and his terrible behavior for so many years, I didn't think that it would be much difficult. But I guess this time, Rob was planning on going out of his way to make him. make things much more difficult for me and so, a few days ago, he decided to take out my car without my permission and crashed it right before I was about to head out for a very important meeting that I had been talking about for days. I usually leave for work around nine in the morning,

but that day, I had a meeting with a very important client and was planning on leaving much earlier, since I didn't want to be late and I'm really thankful that I planned ahead. I was ready to go out quite early, but Rob had been preparing so much earlier and when I came out to check out my car, I saw that there was a huge dent on the hood and the sides had been scraped like nobody's business. I was obviously devastated, and I was even more upset by the fact that Rob was standing beside the car with the keys in his hand and a proud smile on his face like he thought that he had done something great. Neither my husband, nor I had left for work at that time, and when I saw him and what he had done to the car, I completely lost my mind and started freaking out at him.

I'm usually not a violent person, but that day I just lost control and I ended up slapping Rob in the face, but it's not like I regret it. He tried to shove me, but by then, Thomas had come out of the house and had put two and two together, so he had been able to hold Rob back before he could do anything. I was sobbing because obviously I couldn't take that car to the meeting now and I would have to take a cab which wasn't all that bad but my car had been one of the first purchases that I had made with my hard-earned money, and it was quite significant to me. Also, taking a cab to a meeting that was so important for my career with such a high-profile client, it would just look a little odd and I was really upset because of what had just happened like any other person would have been. However, Rob did not seem to be regretting anything and instead, he was actually screaming at me while his father was trying to hold him back and telling me that this ought to show me my place. He believed that I had way too much arrogance for somebody who was relying on my husband to fund my lifestyle and he found it laughable that I had been talking about this important meeting for days even though I knew that at the end of the day. I was going to be living off of my husband's

money and he wanted to make me realize how pretentious and phony I was and that he could see right through me. Then, he started yelling at me saying that this was my lesson for trying to force his father into selling his business just so that I could have more money for myself and then, he kicked my car once again, called me a gold digger and spat on the ground, even though Thomas was trying his best to hold him back. That was when I decided that I could no longer hide the truth from him anymore for Thomas's sake and I told him everything. I tried to really rub it in his face and be as nasty as I could because I felt like he deserved it and I didn't even care that he was just 19 and that I was a grown woman arguing with him since. At that moment, I just wanted to hurt him.

I told him about how his father's business had been failing for the past three years and I had been the one carrying their dead weight but instead of being grateful to me for it, he had tried to sabotage me. I also told him that I was the one who had been paying his college tuition so far and even though his father had promised me that he would pay me back as soon as he could, it didn't matter because it was me who was doing it right now. So he had no right to speak to me that way, or call me a gold digger because if anything, they were the ones who needed the gold and not me. I could see on his face that he was shocked beyond belief and was practically frozen in place and so was Thomas. Then, I wiped my tears and started walking away while booking a cab for myself so I could head to the place of the meeting.

I didn't even turn around because I did not want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Thankfully, the meeting went well because I had left quite early and I reached quite early as well. But then, I had had enough time to compose myself and put on a professional face and my decision to travel in a cabin instead of my own car didn't seem much of a big deal, so it was probably just in my head. When I came back home, I saw that my car was still in the same position, so I called my friend who runs a car repair shop and asked her to deal with it. And I don't know why, but just seeing my car in that condition made my heartbreak yet again and I decided not to go inside the house. I got another cab and I went straight to a nearby hotel and I haven't been home since then. The condition of my car made me realize just how disrespected I had been in my own home all because Thomas couldn't stand up to his son and I had had enough. After this, there was no way that I could go back to that house and try to make things right with them because they definitely did not deserve it.

That day, I kept waiting for at least Thomas to call me and check up on me after I returned from my meeting and went to the hotel but even that did not happen in the next day. When I woke up after a night of crying myself to sleep, I decided that I couldn't live with these people anymore and love was obviously not enough to sustain a relationship. So I decided to call my lawyer and I told him that I wanted to file for a divorce. Then, I called up my brother and I told him that I wanted him to go to my house, pack certain things, and then bring them to me because I just didn't even want to see Thomas or Rob. I explained the situation to him as well and he helped me out by bringing me my things. But I guess when he went home instead of me to collect my stuff, Thomas realized that I was not planning on coming back home anytime soon.

and he and his son started bombarding my phone with calls and texts. I muted all the notifications from them because I didn't want to think about them but didn't block them because I wanted to know what they had to say. And before going to bed, when I finally decided to check the messages that they had been sending me, I realized that it was just them trying to apologize to me and telling me that they were willing to make everything right again. But all I had to do was just come back and speak to them once. I had expected that from Thomas, but the fact that,

that even Rob was apologetic and was trying to tell me that he was ready to apologize and change as a person is what really took me by surprise. But I wasn't going to be fooled so quickly because it was very evident to me that they were only contacting me since they needed me to be there for them. If Thomas had really been sorry, then he would have contacted me the same day and apologized for everything. He wouldn't have had to wait to realize that I wasn't coming back home to apologize to me. In fact, even when I didn't return that day, he didn't contact me and, only when my brother went back to collect my things did he feel the need to reach out to me. So his apologies felt very hollow and meaningless to me and as for Rob, I didn't even need to think twice as to why he was apologizing to me. I had figured out that he needed a way to pay

for himself through college and so far, I had been the one paying his tuition. So he obviously needed my help even now since he still had two years to go before he graduated. And since Thomas couldn't exactly help him out given his financial situation, I'm his only. hope, and being the lazy brat that he is, I'm sure it didn't even occur to him that he could have just worked through college like most of us do or taken out a student loan. I was feeling very let down, even though they had apologized because I knew that they did not actually mean that apology and they were just saying it because it was convenient. It took me a really long time to realize it, but I had finally come to the realization that I definitely loved Thomas a lot more than he loved

me and a lot more than he deserved. But it was about time that I prioritized myself and let him go because, for the past six years, all he had done was make false promises and tell me that he was going to make everything right with me and Rob. But he had only enabled him so far because he would only tell Rob to be better, but there were never any real consequences to his actions. And that's why eventually Rob had found the audacity to do something like this and actually expect to get away with it. Anyway, I have spoken to my lawyer about the divorce, and I've also told him that I want to file a lawsuit against them because I want them to pay for the damage that they have caused to me. So after reading those messages and realizing how fake their apologies were, I decided to write

back to Thomas and I told him that I was going ahead with the divorce and there was nothing that he could do to me because I had waited long enough for them to come around. But since it was not going to happen anymore, I was not going to wait around either and allow myself to be disrespected like this over and over again. The next morning, I woke up to another hundred messages from him, begging me not to leave and telling me that he was ready to do whatever it took to make me stay. He had also tried to call me several times throughout the night. But since I was asleep and had muted his notifications, I didn't know. At that moment, I started to feel really annoyed because in his messages, he was acting like he was genuinely ready to do whatever it took. And I knew that

it was just him saying these things for the sake of it because he had said these things many times before as well. I had fallen for it earlier, but this time, I decided to tell him that I was going to give him an ultimatum and if he was ready to make things work on my terms, then maybe I would come back. In reality, I did not have any intentions of going back because I had made up my mind after great difficulty and I was not going to go back on my word, but I just wanted to see what he would have to say about this. So I texted him back and I told him that I would be ready to consider couples counseling and staying with him if he promised me that he would never speak to his son again and would totally cut Rob out of his life. I told him that was the only solution to this,

and if he was ready to do that, then we could talk, but otherwise, would be going through with the divorce. So that was my ultimatum and a couple of hours after that, he sent me another message, saying that he didn't know what to say to me because all Rob had was him. But he also loved me and he didn't want to give up on our marriage, so I had put him in a very difficult spot and he needed time to think. He was begging me not to go through with the divorce, but I told him that the fact that he was even considering this meant that neither I nor Rob were that important to him. And since he couldn't be loyal to either of us, it would be better for me to remove myself from the equation altogether and make things easier for him. Then, I guess he figured out that I actually

had no intention of coming back to him in the first place, and he started accusing me of trying to mess with his head and playing mind games. His tone really annoyed me so I decided to to take screenshots of that conversation and send it to Rob, and then I turned my phone off because I didn't want to interact with either of them after that. It has been two days since then and Thomas has tried every possible way to get in touch with me because after I sent the screenshots to Rob, he left the house because he felt insulted by the fact that his father was even considering breaking ties with him to make his marriage work. So Thomas had pretty much been screwed over by both of us and he was blaming me for creating this situation, telling me that I'm the one

responsible for his predicament at the moment and has been cursing me out, but I don't feel particularly bad about it. For the past six years, he had been constantly enabling his son and allowing me to get disrespected over and over again, and I thought that this was a very small way for me to get back at him. In comparison to what I have been through, this is pretty much nothing. He has been claiming that he had done his best to strike the right balance between me and Robb and had always tried to keep both of us happy, but that's not true. I was never happy. Anyway, I don't feel particularly bad about what I did, but my brother thinks that I should have just let it go instead of trying to create a rift between the two of them.

He told me that was just not worth it and revenge is not something that he encourages generally, so it's pretty true character for him. I'm just confused about whether I should or shouldn't feel sorry about this and I need people to validate my decision right now because I'm pretty emotionally volatile at the moment. So Ida because I purposefully created drama between my soon-to-be ex-husband and his son who always hated me? Edit, I stayed with him because I loved him, you guys. And when you ask somebody, you allow yourself to get manipulated and it just took me a lot to realize that maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him. I think it's pretty common for people to do this when they are trying to take advantage of you and that's exactly what happened to me and I'm

not going to be ashamed for it. There's a difference between somebody being a dormant voluntarily and somebody like me, who has been manipulated in the name of love. I was making sacrifices to make my relationship work and it just took me a really long time to realize that I was the only one doing it, which was not fair to me. I can understand that people might feel that I'm a pushover because I stayed with him for so long, but I don't really care. I finally found the spine and the courage to leave him, even though I still have some love for him in my heart. And for me, I think that's a big achievement, so I'm definitely not going to allow myself to be shamed. I made a mistake, like a lot of people do, and I think it's completely fine. So thank you to everyone who has been kind to me

and to the ones who haven't been so kind. I don't really care. Update 1, hey, thank you so much to everyone who commented and supported me. I'm obviously going through with the divorce and yesterday, Thomas was served with the divorce papers. I don't think he's going to contest it, but I think we might have a snack because I have demanded quite a lot of settlement money since he had been living off of my dime for the past three years. And I would like to be paid back for all of that. But I don't think that right now, given his financial condition, he would be willing to pay me back. But no worries, we can always make it a long-term payoff situation. Anyway, that's not even a concern right now. We will

leave with all of that during our mediation sessions if he tries to come up with his own terms. Some people have been worried that my brother and I had had a fallout over my behavior with him. But honestly, it was not that deep. My brother is a non-confrontational person and he had just told me that he didn't think it was a good idea to interact with them even more and revenge and stuff. But it's not like he had told me to apologize for them or he had tried to cut me off. It had not been that dramatic. I'm sorry if it came off. I'm sorry if it came off. I'm sorry if it came off that way, but it was just a suggestion and we haven't even spoken about it since then because neither does he think it's that important and nor do I. Thomas and Rob have not tried to contact me for the

past couple of days, which I am really grateful for because I don't want anything to do with them and I just want some peace and quiet. I have moved out of the hotel that I was staying in and I'm staying with a friend of mine right now. Hopefully, nobody's going to try and find me here. Update 2. Hi, everyone. So it has been a couple of weeks and Thomas and I are going to attend our first mediation session tomorrow. Just like I had expected, he doesn't want to pay the amount that I have demanded as a settlement, which is weird because it was literally his son who had damaged my car. So if nothing else, at least he should offer to pay for that and also, I guess he has forgotten the fact that he had promised to pay me back. He hadn't signed a contract or anything, unfortunately, but I have several

texts from him just casually conversing and he has mentioned that he is definitely going to pay me back all the tuition that I have paid for as soon as he can afford to do it. So even though I don't have a contract, I guess that's going to do for now. And for everyone who had been asking me why exactly I had left home, it's a rented house. Even though we had been trying to split our rent for the past couple of years, it was his name on the lease and I didn't think it was worth fighting for. So I left. I've been looking for an apartment near my workplace and as soon as I find one, I'm going to move out of my friend's place and start living on my own again. I can't exactly live with my brother because he has his own family as well and they have tried to tell me that I am welcome at their house, but I don't

want anybody to have to give up their room for me. Anyway, that's where it's at right now and hopefully the mediation for the divorce will be over soon and I will be able to move on. I've already started actively trying to move on by throwing myself into my work, focusing on other things and trying to take my mind off of Thomas. It's not easy, even though I know that he was toxic to me and it's best for me to leave. But part of me is always going to have a soft corner for him and I'm dreading having to see him tomorrow, but I know that this has to be done and who knows, maybe he will mess up and I'll start hating him. Anyway, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for the best. I'm probably going to be very busy for the next couple of months until the divorce is finalized and I don't think I'll

have time to keep you guys updated on everything that happens. So if I post any other updates, it's definitely going to be after the divorce. Wish me luck, you guys. Update 3, hey, everyone. Long time no C, you guys. So just like I had promised you guys, I'm back after my divorce. My last update was probably around seven months ago and my divorce was finalized last week. Since then, life has been pretty much a non-stop party because these past months have been very difficult and draining for me. But now that it's finally over, I've been hanging out a lot more with my friends and family and I'm planning a trip to Greece with a couple of my high school girlfriends. I've earned this treat for myself and I'm going to try and enjoy my life to the fullest as of now. The process of the divorce was pretty toxic and I don't want to get into it, but at least at the end of it, I got back all the money that I deserved and there's some more in store since.

he couldn't pay back all of it to me up front. Since then, Thomas has been playing the victim on his social media and most of our common friends have taken his side because they think that I was too hasty in getting a divorce and have been pretending like I never really loved him in the first place because I found it so easy to leave him. They have also been referring to me as the gold digger and as the most materialistic person they know

because I took back the money that I was owed, I guess. I don't know how that makes me the villain, but I'm happy to know that these people have shown their true colors and I know for a fact that they were never my true friends in the first place. I have cut them off and everybody else who was taking his side during the divorce. I don't need this kind of negativity in my life and like I said, I'm going to be living it up to the fullest now. I have my friends and my family and most apparently, I have found myself again and that's all that I need. I hope you enjoy this story.

Supported my spouse throughout his illness treatment, but he betrayed me with his new partner. After falling ill once more, he returned to our shared home. Throughout the majority of our union, my spouse, a 39-year-old male, was the one in need of care and support. And I, 37F, had a very happy relationship. We had good jobs, decent money, two kids and loved each other. Then he got diagnosed with a rare form of CNCR and we went through years of painful treatments and recovery together. We moved to a small house to be close to the research center where he underwent treatment. His parents paid half of the down payment on the house.

The other half was from our savings and investments. In the divorce he gave me the house and took all of his medical debt. We have been divorced a year, but now his CNCR has come back and he needs treatment again at the same research hospital. He wants to stay in what is now my house while undergoing treatment and his parents expect me to house him and look after him because he was generous in letting me have the house without taking his rightful share from the equity. When we were married and he was undergoing treatment, it was new stuff that was expensive and also very physically draining on him. We were lucky that both our jobs were supportive and flexible, but with his health issues, little kids and expenses, we had to downgrade our lifestyle a lot.

That plus the physical changes in his body made him very depressed. Whenever he felt a bit better, he'd go stay in his hometown. It's a small town where most of his family and a lot of his childhood friends live. I was doing all the caretaking of him, while also dealing with insurance complications. I was also managing the kids, the entire household and my full-time job. We had help from friends and neighbors, but it was very hard. I wasn't happy about him spending his healthy days away from us, but it was good for his mental health so I didn't feel like I could object.

While he was staying there, he had reconnected with his high school girlfriend. A couple years ago he admitted to me that he was sleeping with her and I filed for divorce. He had fully recovered from his CNCR by then. There are other aspects around the cheating that left me very heartbroken and feeling betrayed. His giving me the house and taking all the debt was an apology of a sort. His parents feel that I owe him for getting the house and should let him stay there for the two to three months his treatment is at the facility. I do want him to be well and I don't want my kids to lose a loving father. But I can't deal with having him around me, especially not if I end up being his nurse and caretaker again.

I am still very bitter about how our marriage ended. A lot of people close to me are telling me that I should support him for the sake of my kids. Wipta if I say I can't do that? Edit. They announced their engagement the day the divorce was finalized. That still hurts so much. I am struggling with this so much. I don't think I hate him, a part of him.

me still loves him as an old friend. I definitely wouldn't want my kids to suffer the devastation of losing their father. He loves them and is loved by them. When I look at it as an outside observer, I can understand what he was going through and falling in love with someone else. During the worst parts of his illness I was frequently cleaning up after him, his vomiting, his loss of bowel control. I pulled muscles and injured myself helping him move. He found that emasculating. So I can see how he'd find it appealing that someone still saw him as the old him when he was healthy and strong and I became the nurse figure. So I tell myself that and I don't hate him. But I went years without sex because he was sick. The loss of libido was an expected temporary side effect

of his medication. I accepted that and made do with being celibate. I feel guilty talking about how painful it was because I should be grateful he survived and that is so trivial given the situation. But I would masturbate in hiding, didn't even get a vibrator because I didn't want him feel bad or awful for not being able to do it. And all this time I was making do thinking he wasn't able to, he was sleeping with a whole another person. And that disloyalty still makes me cry. Relevant comments where OP has replied, commenter, even without the cheating and whatnot, caretaking is a full-time job and it's very taxing emotionally, mentally, and physically. You're not his wife anymore.

You have no obligation to do this. OOP, the last time I did it out of love, I can just not do it now. It was very difficult. The big upside to me in getting divorced was not having to deal with that anymore. As difficult as it is to take care of a sick person, dealing with the insurance bureaucracy and keeping track of all the medical contacts and treatment details is a pretty big logistical nightmare. Commenter, maybe for the sake of his children you could allow him to stay there,

but he or his parents pay for a nurse or aid to care for him. You are certainly not obligated to help him in any way, but your children are old enough to know he's ill and if you choose not to help him, it will likely adversely impact your relationship with your kids. If not now, later, especially if something happens to him and he dies. If you don't help him, I fear they will blame you for not helping him by at least allowing him to stay there.

Oh, P, I hadn't started thinking on those terms yet, but yes you are right, I have to measure how my kids will react to this. I haven't told them yet that he is sick again. They were very little back then and only knew that dad was sick and got better. Now my oldest is big enough to understand cancer and what that means. My ex has been the fun Disney dad since we separated. They adore him. Commenter, the chances of his parents being unaware that their son was sleeping with his high school

girlfriend when he came home is zero Oop. Oh, they knew and supported him. They were always good to me so it wasn't like they wanted to break up my marriage, but they were in whatever makes him happy because he survived cancer. I think he received some side-eye for this from people who knew what we went through. And my ex-in-laws did damage control by making overly gushing social media posts about how the GF always looked out for him and made him laugh when they were kids and did it again when he was going through a hard time. As if her comedy skills are what cured is cancer. I was just the background made slash nanny slash assistant character that can be ignored. Sorry, I am still bitter and I keep regurgitating the same stuff. About the in-laws, they are my kids' grandparents, the only loving

grandparents my kids have. They dote on my kids and drive hours to spend time with them and take them places. I resent them, but they are good grandparents. the Sunday after I made the post to Ida, my ex-in-laws picked up the kids for a zoo trip. They sometimes come to pick them up to entertain them and so I thought nothing of it. A few hours later a very teary and contrite mill dropped off two bawling kids with me. She told them their dad is sick and will die if he doesn't stay with us and go to the hospital. We hadn't had a talk with the kids yet about the diagnosis and she dropped it on them that he is dying from cancer. He is not dying.

It's a painful treatment, but he'll recover. I was so furious I was raging. I called the X and tore him a new one. He was shocked too and we together exploded at his mom. She broke down and cried begging me to not take away her grandkids from her, as if I'd trust her after this. X and I together talked to the kids, him on video, and assured them that yes, he is sick, but he'll be fine. He just needs to go to the hospital and they'll make him better like the last. time he was sick. The kid settled after that, but my oldest has been at me crying and begging

to make Dad come live with us. I promised them I'd talk to Dad and figure out what's the best thing to do. I swallowed a lot of bile to talk to him about why he was doing this. We had a pretty long and detailed discussion. The bottom line is that he's broke, he still has a decent job but his credit is ruined, he has a lot of debt and he stupidly got the cheapest insurance that barely covers anything. Fiancee is no help either, she's worse off financially. So he needs a place to stay, he can't afford this otherwise. His parents are funding some of his medical payments and are already stretched. He was financially all right when we broke up so I have no idea what happened in such a short time. Anyway, X and his GF moved into my daughter's room. My daughter

happily gave it up to her dad and is sharing her little brother's room. Both kids are over the moon happy to have their dad in their home. My daughter keeps checking on him every few minutes to make sure he's still okay. Mill traumatized my kid, I'll never forgive that woman for this. I let the GF move in with him because I was too angry to care about who came to look after him as long as it wasn't me. I didn't know how I could bear having her in my home, but it appears to be more misery for her than me and that strangely makes it more tolerable for me. She is teary-eyed and crying all the time.

It's only been three days, but I am so annoyed I want to shake her and tell her to pull it together. The current treatment plan is for three months. I am counting down the days. I am thankful for the many people who gave me great advice on my last post. I wasn't expecting things to go this way, but they played me by manipulating my kids. I'll slowly pull myself and the kids away and move. But for now I have to deal with this for my kids' sake. Relevant comments where Op has replied. Commenter encourages Op to open up a can of Petty and gives a list of suggestions. Commenter.

3. Ask if the GF can look after the kids for day your ex doesn't have treated. Then go out on a date looking a million bucks. If you don't date, they don't need to know that. Just go out with girlfriends. If you do date, don't come home that night, Op, I've done number of. three, two times already. I haven't dated yet since the divorce. I want to, but online dating scares me and my social life revolves around my kids. I am pretending to have plans just so I am dressed and out and feel good about myself. I didn't leave the kids with them though. I managed to

arrange sleepover for kids with their friends on those nights. I have been amazed by how much love and support my kids and I are receiving from our neighbors and friends. I told a few close to the people what's going on and I suppose most people know now. I have received a lot of offers for help, people can be kind. We got invited to a camping trip on Easter weekend and I am taking kids to that. X-Mill was making noises about having kids over and I've shut that down. Commenter, you are a saint-op, not a saint no, I am just trying to protect my kids and my sanity. I am keeping myself very busy and staying on task. I am working hard to avoid thinking things because that way is misery. This is very petty of me, but I have to admit that seeing they are not doing well has been

somewhat mollifying for me, emotionally. Commenter, might be worth looking into dating events that companies run, might be a smoother way into the reintroduction to dating world, when you're ready, then dating sites. I haven't done online dating, but a friend of mine just married her husband who she met at a dating baking class, have a look at what's in your area. Oop, I need to look into dating events. I didn't know this was a thing. I need a detailed guide on how to do these things now. Update 2, my ex and his fiancé moved out today. His treatments went very well this time around.

He had to deal with general weakness and nausea, but no vomiting and voiding like the previous time. It's amazing how much medicine improves and changes. He'll need monthly shots for a while and I agreed to house him for a weekend next month, but after that he's on his own. The stay went well, we had no drama really. I kept myself busy and kids and I traveled a lot. They both managed the rest of the stuff all right and things worked out. My kids are happy and back to their normal stuff. I had a talk with my daughter about how grandma exaggerated things to get her way and that is not okay and she understood.

She has shown no interest in visiting her grandparents and I am happy about that. The last week of his stay, his fiancé went back to their town to take care of some stuff since he was doing pretty well on his own. He and I had a few long detailed conversations. They were cathartic in some ways and saddening and maddening in others. I think I got some closure, at least I am not feeling the bitterness the way I used to. I may make another post about what he told me, his reasoning and justifications. On another positive note, all that dressing up and going out I've been doing has worked out for me. I met someone. We've been on two dates and it's going great so far. This is my first time dating since the divorce so I am keeping my expectations muted,

but still it is very exciting and fun. Update 3, I tried writing about our conversations but the process of thinking about it and analyzing it is very depressing. When we had the talk, I felt much better than I do looking back at it now. Then my new date invited me on a trip during the Memorial Day weekend. One of my close neighbor friend encouraged me to go while she watched my kids. I was pretty excited about this vacation, my first adult-only vacation in over a decade. I didn't want my overthinking about my ex to make me depressed during the trip, so I put that on hold. The trip went well and I am pretty optimistic about this new relationship.

Sorry to you guys for taking so long with this. But now that I feel happier, I can have a more grounded take on my ex's views. To start with he was again very apologetic about what he put me through and that I deserved better from him. When he was going through his cancer treatment while we were married, I was extra careful with his feelings and being calm and patient with him. That had become so much of a habit that even when he told me about his affair, I still treated him with kid gloves.

I was firm about wanting divorced and refused to consider his insistence on working it out, but I swallowed my anger and didn't go off at him. But this time I got to properly express my hurt and anger at him and that was very, very cathartic. He took it okay for the most part but also was stung by it and got defensive. He told me in some detail about how he and his GF got together. She was his high school girlfriend. She came from an abusive background and in high school he had helped her and did a lot to encourage her to move out of that situation.

When he moved away to go to university and she stayed their small town, the long-distance thing dissolved their relationship. He wanted a more big city life and a few years after college he met me. When he was visiting his parents home more while recovering, he reconnected with her. At that time she was struggling to leave an abusive relationship. It again was like their high school days where she was in trouble and he was the night in shining armor. I suppose that can be very attractive to someone who's been facing weakness and their own mortality. When he was home, I was waiting on him hand and foot. I didn't even know that he could

have enough energy to do all the leg work for this other woman and was spending quite a bit to help her. That's where his currently being broke comes from. She was in financial trouble, and he solved all her problems. He is quite proud of how much he helped her and doesn't agree with me that he took something away from me and making me work for him while he put his energy away from our family. I don't want to say that I don't support helping someone escape abuse, but I can't help feeling exploited. His response was that he did a favor by spending time in his town because that lessened the burdens on me. It is true that when he went away life got easier by a lot. I had more time, I could focus more on kids, we could cook anything, eat anything. But if he had

that kind of energy than he could have helped me, you know. But he says that I was always stressed out and upset. My attitude was a drain on him. I resent that because I remember how careful I was around him, how much I made myself pliable to be his nurse. He brought up examples of how once I was so upset I went to the balcony to scream. The time I snapped at the kids and then cried about it. He had stories of how I was pushy and difficult. He wasn't making it up, I have my faults, but I did work hard and tried my best. I didn't realize that my help and support wasn't good enough for him. I didn't make him feel good. I just did the shit work. I think he resents me because he feels he owes me. He likes his GF because she owes him and is dependent on him. Relevant comments where Op has replied,

commenter, why would he even think he could justify his actions? Boop, he sees himself as a good guy. He downplays the cheating as a small failure that happened multiple times as he was helping the GF. And I am the stubborn one for not being willing to work through it. Up on getting closure, I felt a touch of closure from being able to say a lot to him. Thinking back I think he genuinely expected me to see him as the good guy once he gave me all the explanations. He was frustrated when I wouldn't. I really like the guy I am seeing.

For the first time in a very long time I was with someone who did all the work of planning and pulling off a trip and I had to simply enjoy myself. You really appreciate it when you haven't had something like that. Update 4. I introduced my BF to my kids this past weekend. We've been spending so much time together and talking almost every day and I finally felt ready to bring him into their lives. I gave my ex a heads up that I am dating and will be introducing the guy to our kids. He went very quiet on the phone then asked details about who he is, etc., and I gave those to him.

He tried to dissuade me from letting kids meet my BF, says it's too soon and it's not healthy for the kids and whatnot. As if I got the choice to make such a call when he got his GF into my kid's life. Anyway, I finished the call annoyed. Last night he calls me back to discuss my BF. Apparently he looked into him, which is fine by me, there's not much for him to criticize there. So he asks me if I am with my BF for money. To say I was furious is an understatement. My BF is in a lucrative career and he may be a couple tax brackets above me, I don't know for sure,

haven't talked finances with him. But I do pretty well myself and I've supported myself and my kids and even my lousy ex and this is what he asks me. I retorted that no I am not with him for him. for his money, I am with him because my ex-husband dumped me after exploiting me. He got upset at that and says that I have a barbed tongue and people think I am so nice, but don't see how verbally abusive I can be. So that's nice. All I've done for him and he is no problem being cruel to me again and again. Update 5, I received a few messages asking for

updates. But things have been calm so there are no updates. My current relationship is going well. are working on building our blended family. My two kids and his son get along really well, they are tight together. We have been thinking of buying a house together and selling mine. I am both excited and nervous about doing that. X didn't act up after that last argument. He's been more aloof than before but that's preferable so I don't care. Things are well on his side too as far as I know. Update 6, my BF and I bought a new place together. I've sold. I've sold I told the house and I am rather relieved to leave that place. I liked having a home but there were too many bad memories there

and the emotional baggage of my ex-in-laws thinking they still have a claim on the place. I will miss my old neighborhood though. I had a lot of supportive friends there. My kids love the new place, it's bigger, with a bigger yard and nicer schools. As we were clearing out the house I told my ex to pick up a few of his things still left behind. He had a few boxes of pictures and kids' artwork in some sort. small things and I left them in the garage for him to come pick them up. He came to get them and ended up full on crying over the memories. We didn't talk or interact in any way. I just gave

him water and left him alone to calm down. But honestly, I felt such visceral rage at his crying. I thought I was over this and past is past and I am happy with my life now, but at that moment I felt so much anger and it upset me that I am still not fully past what he had done. His relationship with his fiancée has ended and I do feel a bit bad about that. They were supposed to be married in July and that didn't happen. Then I heard from some mutual friends that she has moved back with her abusive ex. They have kids together and there was a lot of pressure from her family to reconcile. And yes, her family is abusive too.

My ex had helped her against them when they were first dating and they've always held that against him. So she stayed with ex while he was digging her out of her financial crisis. Now that she's in the clear she goes back to the guy who put her in that hole. In a way my ex, and by extension me, helps him deadbeat out there make a lot of savings. In that part, I feel angry on ex's behalf. I mean I hate him for my own reasons, but he did try to help his old friend and high school sweetheart and she screwed him over. I hope you enjoy this story.

Guardians deceived about a health crisis to pilfer my $15,000 nuptial savings to support the favorite. offsprings post-wedding trip, prompting me to wed clandestinely and financially ruin them. Hello, I, a 26-year-old female, recently, got married to my husband, 26M, after a six-year-long relationship. We had an intimate ceremony at his aunt's farmhouse property which is not what we had in mind initially at all. I had actually wanted to get married on the beach because that's where some of our happiest memories are. My husband and I are both water babies and would make a trip to the beach at least once a month to unwind and let loose. So it's a special place for us and I have even started looking for hotels where we could all stay. Like literally any other bride on this planet.

I wanted my wedding to be special and I had even been saving money to have a huge celebration for the last five years. I work in advertising and I get paid decently but my husband and I used to live modestly and tried our best to save money for the future. We have been planning to book one of the best hotels with a sea-facing view so our guests could really have a fantastic time and it was meant to be a luxurious experience. But we had to change our plans and scale down considerably because my parents decided to money from me a couple of months ago and I couldn't bring myself to decline. Some context here, my brother, 24M, also got married a couple of months ago, but it had been sudden for him and they didn't plan much. He had been with his wife for about two years

and he had proposed to her just a month before they got married. It was a really small ceremony with just family and a few friends, but I was happy for him since it was their wedding, their choice. But a few weeks after the wedding, my mother reached out to me and asked to borrow $15,000. She told me that my father had fallen ill all of a sudden and said that it was probably his diabetes that was acting up again, but she couldn't bear all the medical expenses by herself

and she needed me to help her. She told me that there was a special drug that the doctors had suggested, but it cost a lot of money since it had to be imported and she couldn't afford it because their insurance didn't cover this. I was really concerned for my father's health, so I decided to step up and lend her the money, no questions asked. I paid him a couple of visits and asked my mother to show me the medical report several times, but she always managed to evade those questions. Whenever I would visit them, my dad was always in bed, but for some reason, he just didn't appear very sick. Even when I asked my mother why he hadn't been moved to the hospital so he could

be observed and kept under professional care, she told me that it wasn't necessary at the moment. But somehow, he was sick enough to need to be administered an uncommon drug that they didn't produce here and it wasn't even covered by their insurance. I'm not an idiot, after the first few visits, I had figured out that something very fishy was going on with my parents but I didn't want to accuse them of anything before I was sure. It would be a really bad look for me if, I would be a really bad look for me if I accused them of lying to me about a medical money, and then it all turned out to be true after all. I realized that my brother hadn't been visiting our parents

and even when I would ask them why he wasn't there, my father would tell me that they didn't want him to worry because he was just so young and they wanted him to be focused on his work. And yet they were fine with me being worried sick about them. I did speak to my brother about it on a phone call after a couple of weeks had passed and he still hadn't visited our father.

He told me that he would drop by as soon as he came back from his honeymoon. That was news to me because I had no idea that he had already left for his honeymoon my parents hadn't told me and neither he nor his wife had posted about this on their social media either, so I had no clue where he was. When I asked him why he hadn't told me, he said that he had been planning to surprise everybody by coming back after a month of being MIA with a bunch of photos, stories, and memories from their trip around Europe. He said that he had no intention of telling me either, but he had been quite concerned when I said that our father was sick, which is why he found it necessary to reply to me. He told me that he had spoken to our parents

after he received my alarming text, but they had told him that he had nothing to worry about and they were doing just fine here. He told me that our parents had probably just exaggerated the situation while talking to me and I had believed it because I was kind of neurotic which had led to a misunderstanding. I tried to give my parents the benefit of the doubt by forcing myself to believe that maybe they had been hiding the truth from my brother because they didn't want to ruin his honeymoon or get them all worried about them. Because I knew what I had seen at my parents' house and there had been no scope for a misunderstanding.

But then my brother mentioned to me that he would have felt really guilty about not being there for dad if what I had said about him being very sick turned out to be true because apparently, our parents were the ones funding his insanely expensive and long honeymoon. All the warning bell started going off in my head,

so I asked him exactly how much was this trip going to cost him. And then he told me that this trip was going to cost our parents at least $1,215,000 because he and his wife were pulling out all the stops and really making the most of their honeymoon. By living in the most expensive hotels and eating at the best restaurants because they can only do this once. They would also be shopping for a lot of stuff and even that was going to be covered by our parents. I knew instantly that this was where my money was going and there was no medical emergency at all. There never had been any emergency to speak of and that's why they had no documents to show me and had never even been at the hospital.

My parents had just invented that whole story because they wanted the money to fund my brother's honeymoon and that was supposed to be their wedding gift. I felt extremely betrayed while hearing my brother brag about how our parents were going above and beyond for him, just so the two of them could enjoy their honeymoon since they hadn't been able to have a grand wedding. The money that I had lent to my parents was from my wedding fund

and I felt like I had been stabbed in the back when I realized that my parents had given it all away to my brother. When I confronted them after that phone call, my parents told me that they had to cook up some story because they knew that I wouldn't give them the money if I knew that this was going to be used by my brother for his honeymoon. They told me that he had been struggling at work and had been down in the dumps for a long time, so they wanted him to have some fun without having to worry about money. Unfortunately, they couldn't fund it themselves because that would endanger their own retirement fund and so they had to borrow money from me. Their reasoning was that I was still young

and earning and had a lot of years ahead of me where I could work and earn this money back, but it was not the same for them. They also said that it was just money and they would return it at some point, but for now, I just needed to put myself second and think about my brother's feelings because this honeymoon had apparently rejuvenated him and rescued him from getting depressed. I couldn't believe it because this meant that I would have to cut down on my wedding expenses for no reason. Just to be clear, I had been okay with the idea of having a smaller wedding as long as it meant that my father's health wouldn't suffer. But this was not something that I had signed up for. I was furious once they told me the truth and I told them that they had to pay me back before I got

married because I wanted to use this money for my wedding. I had a lot of expenses to think of if I wanted to go through with the beach wedding and even though my husband and his family were covering some of the expenses I had to look out for myself as well. My parents paying for the wedding had never been on the card since they had told me very early on that they could either pay for me to go to college or they could pay for when I got married but they couldn't afford both. I had decided that I was going to college and would pay for my wedding on my own, which is why I had been saving up for my wedding myself. In case any of you guys are wondering, when my brother started college, I did ask him if my parents had made him choose between these two as well and he had laughed in my face as if this was

the most ridiculous idea ever. I never brought that up with my parents because I didn't want to accuse them of having a favorite, even though it was very clear that they did have one. But I was young and I still needed their help because I hadn't found a job at the time. So bringing these things up and fighting with them over it would only make the situation worse for me and it didn't make sense to confront them about it. But it did come up several years later when I confronted them about the money that they had taken from me and how they had always favored my brother over me. They tried to deny it, but it was as clear as day and I told them that they had to pay me back.

Because I wasn't going to give up my dream wedding, just because my brother was struggling at work. My parents could molly coddle him by sending him off on an expensive vacation with their own money. But I hadn't worked super hard for five years and saved up for my wedding just so they could snatch that amount away from me and hand it to my brother. But they told me that they couldn't return the money to me in one go before the wedding and it would take them a couple of years to give all of it back to me. And they actually expected me to be okay with it because apparently, there was nothing more important than family. If I was ready to spend that money on a medical emergency for my father, then there was no reason why I couldn't spend that money to prevent my brother from slipping into depression. Here's the thing, though, my brother was never going to get depressed because of work. And that's because he never took his job seriously, which is why he was bad at it and was earning so little.

He works in sales and his income is almost all commission. So if he is bad at what he does, then he has nobody to blame but himself. and he might have been a little upset about that. But I can guarantee it to you guys that he was never going to get depressed. He just didn't care enough about anything because he had been spoiled by my parents all his life and just wasn't used to working hard for stuff, which is why he seemed upset about his job. That was all that it was. But my parents blew it out of proportion to make it seem like he was actually bothered by his failures

at work and he had to be rescued. It was all a lot of bologna and I tried to tell my parents that this. wedding was really important to me. They already made a commitment to my husband and his family that I was going to cover certain expenses which would become impossible if I didn't have the money so they needed to do something. But they told me that there was no way that they could return the money to me before I got married and I would just have to scale down or ask my husband and his family to help out. It got to a point where I actually found myself begging them to return my money to me. But all that they did was just shake their heads and tell me

know and that they would return it eventually but giving it back to me before the wedding wasn't possible. I left their house crying and when I came back home and told my husband everything, he was just as furious and even more upset than me. He was about to contact a lawyer. But I told him that there would be no point because there was no written proof that my mother had wanted the money for medical reasons or had ever said that she was going to return it to me. It had all been informal and there were no binding contracts or documents to prove a single thing. So even if if we did file a lawsuit against her, it would just lead to more of our money being wasted by paying for the lawyer because we would probably not even be able to prove anything since we didn't even

have texts in our favor. Everything had been verbal and off the record. So as much as we wanted to go after my parents, we decided not to because it would be pointless and we didn't want to waste more of our money on a hopeless situation. Instead, we decided to start thinking about how we were going to change our wedding plans. Thankfully, my husband's family came to the rescue after they found out about what my parents had done and his aunt offered to let us use her farmhouse venue for free. We had always been very keen on the idea of a beach wedding right from the beginning so his aunt hadn't suggested it at first. But now that we were looking at other places, she made that suggestion and I decided to check the place out. My husband had already seen the place

before, but when I first walked into the venue, I just knew that this was it. It was a beautiful place and even though it wasn't anywhere near the beach, my husband and I were content with it. His aunt was letting us use the venue for free so it was all the more reason for us to go ahead and start planning around the farmhouse instead. I got busy with the wedding planning and that gave me more of a reason to cut my parents off. I had already made up my mind that they were not going to be invited to my wedding but I had been on the fence about my brother. Because he hadn't exactly done anything wrong since he didn't know that my parents had borrowed the money for me to give it to him. But he made the decision much easier for me by calling me up once he was back from his honeymoon

and tearing into me about humiliating our parents by asking them to return my money. He told me that he had heard about whatever had happened from our mother and he was very upset that I was being so difficult about this. Apparently, he believed that this was just no big deal even though he was the one who spent my money and said that as soon as he could, he would return it to me but I just had to suck it up before the wedding and scale down. So that's when I made up my mind about him as well and after that, I didn't speak to either of them. Now that I didn't have the entirety of my wedding fund, I couldn't spend money blindly and have a luxurious fancy wedding. Honestly, I think that worked for

me because the wedding that I did have was a lot more beautiful than anything that I had in mind earlier. We had to scale down but it was worth it because after a while, we realized that this day was supposed to be about us, and in our daily lives, we were not the kind of people that we were trying to portray ourselves as. So it would be pretty shallow if we went out of our way to spend a bomb on a fancy wedding just to impress people. And we decided that we were going to cut down on the cost of the wedding and instead, do something better with the money that we had saved afterwards. In a way, I'm thankful for the way that things worked out because my wedding was still really but it had none of the pomp and show that I had in mind earlier and it was really a good thing.

because we were only surrounded by the people who we loved and who loved us to celebrate our coming together. I think that's pretty much all you need for a wedding. So I'm pretty happy with how things turned out and I posted the photos of my wedding a couple of days ago. Everyone from my family who had been invited to the wedding had been given very strict and specific instructions to make sure that my parents and my brother didn't get to know that the invitations had already been sent out. Because then they would throw a tantrum since they didn't get one. and that's how we managed to have a private ceremony without them showing up or trying to bully me into inviting them before the wedding. But now that that was over and everything had gone smoothly, I didn't see anything wrong about posting the photos on social media.

However, they got to see it somehow and contacted me the very next day to demand an explanation as to why they had not been invited to my wedding. I thought that it was pretty surprising that they even expected to be invited because the last conversation that I had with any of them hadn't been a pleasant one. I had been crying when I left my parents' house after our last fight and we hadn't spoken to each other since. In the last time that I spoke to my brother, he made me feel like this was all my fault and I was the one who was being dramatic. After that, I hadn't spoken to any of them and they hadn't tried to talk to me either, so I didn't know why they had even expected to be invited. Not only had they expected that I was going to invite them but they were upset that they were not present at the wedding. My parents were the ones who called me and then added my brother to the phone call so that all of them could yell at me at once. But I didn't care for it and I found it to be very entitled of them.

I had already cut them out of my life and I didn't need this drama while I was trying to enjoy my life as a newlywed. So I told them that after they had stolen money from me, I had to cut down on the cost of the wedding. So I decided only to invite family and a couple of close friends and since they were neither, they didn't make the list. After that I hung up and blocked them, hoping that they would leave me alone now. But an hour after that phone call, my husband told me that my brother had reached out to him so he could inform us that my parents had been really insulted by what I had said. My mother was devastated so she kept crying and almost fainted because she was crying so hard. That's all that he said, but I started feeling guilty because I didn't mean to hurt my parents that badly.

He might be bluffing, but I don't know for sure and it's making me feel weirdly bad ever since I I'd offer not inviting my parents and my brother to my wedding because they stole money from my wedding fund. Update 1, hi, so it's been a week since I had that last conversation with my parents, and my brother and I have decided that I am not going to speak to them again. My mother can cry as much as she wants to, but it's not going to change the facts. I have been crying really hard the day that I had confronted them about the money and had even begged them to return it to me before the wedding but they didn't seem to care about that. They had taken it really lightly and so now I was going to do the same to them,

you reap what you sow, I also told my brother never to contact me or my husband. Especially my husband because he had nothing to do with any of this and I didn't want my family to bother him with their petty antics. And then had blocked him again after that text because I didn't want my family to have any access to me. They had treated me badly all my life, but now I was not going to take that anymore. I swear if I had a way then I would even file a lawsuit. against them and get my money back, but that might be a bit of a long shot right now since we don't

have any tangible evidence. My husband thinks that it is worth a try and it might just work so we have been considering it. He has been in talks with a reputed lawyer and in a couple of days we are going to make a decision about what to do. Until then, I just have to think of a way to make them confess or admit to the fact that they had borrowed the money from me under the pretext of using it for a medical emergency but then they had given it away to my brother so he could have a fun honeymoon. It's going to be difficult to prove it in court, but I don't want to let them off the hook so easily. I deserve to get my money back and I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure that they return it to me and they return it to me soon enough.

Yesterday, I told my brother not to bother my husband with our family drama. So he obviously took it as a sign to drag him into this, even though it doesn't involve him. After we got back from work, my husband told me that my parents and my brother had sent him a bunch of texts and demanded that he speak to me. and tell me to unblock them. When he blocked them, they decided to take it a level higher and actually showed up at his workplace. Apparently, they had been waiting for him right outside and as soon as they saw his car leaving the place,

they started tailing him and honking at him repeatedly. So he had to pull over and wait for them to catch up because he could recognize my brother's car and knew that it was them. He also knew that if he didn't stop and wait for them then they would just follow him home and that would really bother me, so he decided to take one for the team,

and entertained their BS. When he pulled over, my brother left his car walked up to his window, and said that they wanted to speak to him in person. There was a diner nearby and my husband just wanted to get it over with. They took a booth in the diner so my family could say whatever it was that they believed was so important. My brother told him that he believed that it wasn't fair for me to cut everyone off over some money and thought that it was a bit of an overreaction. They also thought that my implying that we were not family anymore just because they had barred at money from me was taking things too far. I had already blocked them so they couldn't reach out to me but they knew that if my husband tried to speak to me then I might just hear him out.

So they were trying to appeal to him and then, my husband could remind me that we were a family no matter what. So I needed to act like it, instead of throwing tantrums over every little misunderstanding and acting like a brat. My parents also said that they were going to return the money to me eventually but it was just not possible for them to give it back to me all at once. And they had already explained it to me like a million times, so I needed to be more thoughtful because my brother was struggling at work and my parents were about to retire in a couple of years. They were trying to convince my husband that this was all my fault and I was acting out for no reason. But my husband played it really well and instead of putting them in their place, he actually entertained it and made them feel like he was on their side.

He told them that he could try and explain this to me, but it would help a lot more if they reached out to me personally as well and sent a heartfelt message to me. So far they had only been taking an accusatory tone with me but my husband convinced them that if they acknowledged their mistakes, then that might calm me down and those idiots actually bought it. My husband manipulated them into sending me a message where they acknowledged what they had done and made them believe that might make me go easy on them and I would end up apologizing to them because tone was everything. It's all a lot of baloney of course because as soon as they send that message, we are using that as an admission of guilt and going after them legally. I am actually really proud of my husband because he dealt with this much better than I would have. I think he's an evil genius but he's my evil genius so I love him. Update 3. Well, my husband's plan worked and we are so pumped right now.

My parents and my brother, like a bunch of idiots, sent me an email detailing every single lie that they had told and confessing to whatever they had done. So now that we have proof, my husband has given our lawyer the green light to go ahead with the petition. and soon enough, we will be getting our money back. $15,000 might not be a lot to a lot of people, but to me, it means a lot because I spent the last five years trying to save up for the future and I worked really hard to get where I am today. It took a lot of late nights and sacrifices and I'm not about to let it all go in vain just because my brother is lazy and my parents want to enable him.

So we will be suing them and no matter what it takes, we will absolutely be getting my money back. We have also started planning for our honeymoon and it's going to be a short trip to the beach again because that's where this all started and it's always going to be a special place for us. We might take a longer break in a couple of months and make an actual vacation out of it, but until then this is going to have to be done. We realize that we don't have to impress people and spend a ton of money. We can just do whatever makes us happy and so we are doing exactly that. Also because I don't want to be like my brother,

who posted a bunch of photos from his honeymoon after they returned to rub it in people's faces, but now, he is going to be sued just for that. It's really sad for them but they brought it onto themselves and now, they totally deserve whatever is going to come to them. I hope you enjoy this story. Cut off communication with my father after he left me for his secret lover. After a long period of persuasion, I decided to mend our relationship, but then, he and his mistress verbally attacked.

me during the dinner. When I was 13, my dad had an affair, left my mom and moved in with his affair partner, who I'll call Jean. At first, my sister and I would visit every weekend, and I will admit he was a good dad, although I never liked Gene. When Jean got pregnant and had their son, our visits became less frequent, and my dad was more concerned with his new family. He would miss some of my recitals or my sister's competitions because he was busy with his son. When I was 16, Jean decided she wanted to move for a new job opportunity. My sister and I begged him not to leave us, but he just said, I need to prioritize my family. He moved 10 hours away, and that pretty much ended our relationship.

After that, I decided to go no contact as it was clear he did not consider me family. My younger sister stayed in contact with him. He would try and call me and offer for me to come and visit with my sister, but I refuse. When he would come back to see my sister, I would refuse to speak to him when he turned up at the house. I didn't invite him to my high school or college graduations. I'm now 33 and have remained in no contact with him. Over the years, he has repeatedly tried contacting me and getting his family to contact me on his behalf to reconcile. I have avoided family events in case he attended, including my sister's wedding and baby showers. Now, three months ago, my dad and my dad and

his family moved back to our hometown, and he has been relentlessly trying to reconcile. I have received messages from my half-brother and sister wanting a relationship, saying he's a great dad. My dad found out I'm getting married and keeps trying to contact me, even trying to speak to my fiancé. Gene messaged me saying that I have broken my dad's heart repeatedly, that I'm pathetic and should get therapy. I replied back that she was nothing more than a home-wrecking whore and then blocked her. Everyone seems to want me to let him back in my life. I'm sick of all the harassment and accidentally bumping into my dad and his family in town. Whenever I see him, I just walk away and refuse to speak to them. Everyone is saying he's a good dad and tried his best to remain in

contact, but I pushed him away. Everyone is pressuring me, my mom, sister, grandparents, aunts and uncles, and even some of my friends. My fiancé has even started saying I'm the off or shutting him out. It's all starting to get to me, so Ida? Comments? Zest I close sky 1921. NTA, but this is going to be brutal if your fiancé doesn't get on board with your pirate ship. Depending on the size of your hometown and how serious he is about pushing this, you may need to consider moving, especially if everyone around you is involved. Dry sandwich 860, you're allowed to have whatever kind of relationship you want with your father. Did your fiancé have to deal with being abandoned by your dad?

Nope. Your sister was younger than you and may not have felt the loss as you did. You have the right to feel angry and hurt. Blockchain. This is the woman who pressured your father to leave your town. She had an affair with them that broke up your family. your father did those things too neither one of them has any right to tell you how to react or feel deadbeat parents love to get back in their kids lives when the kids are adults and no longer need to be

parented and things are easy you should feel totally free to do what is right for you tell everyone else that you no longer want to hear about this they don't get to dictate how you feel whenever anyone brings it up leave the room or put down the phone do not tolerated, and people will learn to shut up. Koridix, NTA, I'd send them all a clear message that you do not consider him family after he quite clearly told you, when you were 16, that you are not family, are they currently aware of this? And also make it clear that you will start cutting them out of your life if they do not stop

harassing you about this. Perhaps just throw them all in a group chat for this so you can send it once to everybody? Your fiancé siding with them instead of respecting your pretty clear boundary is worrying and would make me reconsider the marriage if he doesn't cut it out fast as that's a massive red flag that doesn't bode well for your future with him. More info, edit, thank you for your comments. I haven't gotten through all of them, but I'm glad to know that most of you think I'm NTA, which is a huge relief as I thought I was going insane. As most of you pointed out, I'm going to have a serious conversation with my fiancé. He should have my back. If he continues to defend

my dad, then I'm going to have to think if this relationship should go any further. We are 12 weeks out from the wedding, but we need to sort this out sooner rather than later. For information, I own a local business, and moving away is not an option. I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone, and my dad is friends with a lot of people, including my fiancé's family. Also, my dad did not come back for me, he came back because Jane's parents needed help and care. He is not financially supported me since I was 17. He withheld my college fund to try and blackmail me into having a relationship with him, so I had to work and get loans. I've avoided events because my family uses it as a chance to force reconciliation. He also won't leave me alone and make scenes. He'll come up to

me talking as if nothing has happened, trying to hug me or start crying. And I can't simply cut everyone off, everyone is on his side and against me, including my mother. Edit 2. to give you all a bit more context, when he left my mom for Jane, he only wanted us on the weekend. My mom offered him 50 to 50, but he refused. I didn't like Jane and was standoffish with her because I knew what they had done my sister was too young to understand and was more accepting of her. Jane was mean to me but nice to my sister when I was at my dad's. I felt uncomfortable, and she would purposefully leave me out of fun activities or plan things purely for my sister. We had a few arguments over minor things, but my dad always took her side.

My dad and I used to have daddy-daughter dates at least once every two weeks. Jane put a stop to that. When she had my half-brother, we went from going every weekend to once every six weeks. My dad was M-I-A and had finally gotten his precious son. He stopped trying with me. When they moved, I was so upset that he chose to leave us. He didn't want custody, he just wanted us to visit him now and again and speak to him on the phone. Parenting at a distance, so all of his focus was on his new family.

When I graduated from high school and refused to invite him, everything blew up. Jane called me some terrible names, and so did my dad. He refused to give me my college fund unless I started being part of the family again. From what I gathered, he spent it on his new family. I'm sick of being the one to miss out on events with my family. I would be willing to be in the same room but not interact or even be civil, but he pushes things and makes it impossible. Update 1, thank you for all of the comments. Although most seem to be NTA, some were O ODA.

Some of you gave helpful suggestions, which I am planning to take on board. I have just spoken to my fiancé, and, unfortunately, it has not gone well, but at this point in time, I've had enough and want to run away and never come back. My fiancé knows my history with my dad and Jane. I explained to him that deciding with my father and pressuring me was hurting me, and as my fiancé, he should be supporting me. My fiancé, who I'll call Lou, told me he can't support me in doing something that he knows is wrong.

He told me that he had spoken to my father and had an understanding of both sides of the story. He was told that I was standoffish and mean to Jane on meeting her. which put us on the wrong foot. That my dad has tried consistently over the years to reconnect with me, but I have ignored all attempts. That I've upset family members by refusing to attend birthdays, weddings, baby showers, etc., because he was attending. That I walked out of my fiancé's parents party three weeks ago because my dad was there.

And that I won't speak and will ignore my half-brother, 18, and half-sister, 14, if I see them. Still, he believes that if we both sat down and talked, we could sort this out and reconcile. I told Lou I didn't want this and wanted no contact and asked why he was even speaking to my father. Lou admitted his father, who is friends with my dad, encouraged him to speak to him and hear him out. Lou told me my dad loved me very much and always wanted to be in my life and has pictures of me. I'm guessing he got these from my family as my social media is set to private. Lou said my dad is heartbroken at the state of our relationship because I was being unreasonable about him moving away when I was young.

Lou stated I got on the wrong foot with Jane and that I was not innocent in the breakdown of the relationship. He told me that everyone can see the truth but me and to look in the mirror because I'm the problem. Needless to say, I broke down crying and asked him why he was doing this to me and not supporting me. Lou claims to love me but won't stand by and watch me be a heartless bitch. After he said this, I stood up, told him that he shouldn't marry a heartless bitch and walked out.

I'm currently sitting in my car. My phone is blowing up with Lou trying to contact me, but I don't want to speak to him. I feel like I'm losing everything and everyone. I don't understand what is happening. Update 2. Hi everyone, thanks for the comments and for letting me sound off on you, as I desperately need an outside perspective. I know a lot of you are telling me to cut all contact with my family. and leave town. That is not an option for me financially, and I would not be able to set up a business elsewhere. All my money is invested in it, and I have only managed to get established recently with a steady income, so relocating is not an option for me. Also, I love my friends and family and don't want to

cut everyone off. I love my hometown, I grew up here. This is my life, and I'm not willing to walk away from it. Now, I didn't expect to write another update this fast, but a lot has happened today. So, first, I agreed to meet my dad to talk and try to get him to back off and leave me alone. I asked my mom to arrange it just him, no one else. I wasn't sure if he would agree to that, but within 15 minutes of her calling, he was at the door. I asked my mom to stay and meditate. I asked him to give me space, to stop trying to get everyone on his side and let me live my life. I told him he stopped being my father when he moved ten hours away.

I told him Jane was mean to me and told him about all the horrible things she had said to me over the years. I hate how he chose Jane and his new family over me, how he told me he had to prioritize them, and how he basically told me I wasn't family. I told him he was an offer withholding my college fund, trying to blackmail me, and then spending it on his new family and that I hate how I have missed major family events because he attended and would make them awkward. I told him I don't see his son and daughter as my family, and I'm sick of them trying to speak to me and approach me.

He keeps making scenes every time he sees me and making me look like the bad guy. He keeps inserting himself into my life, going to my fiancé's family events, going behind my back to talk and sway Lou to his side. I hate how he cheated on my mom and broke our family up and then listened to Jane, who stopped our dates, miss my recitals, reduced concerts,

and was more concerned about his son. He said he loves me and always has. He is never going to give up trying to reconnect, and he has given me enough space over the years. He is done hearing about my life from secondhand knowledge and is not willing to miss any more of it. He loves Jane and can't regret his past because he wouldn't have her or his two kids. He wishes he had done it differently and ended his marriage with my mom first. He said his kids are innocent, and I shouldn't be taking it out on them. They just want to know their big sister. He also said that I was a difficult child

who was rude and disrespectful to Jane, breaking her belongings, calling her names, and ruining day trips. When Jane got pregnant, she was high risk, and my coming every week in starting arguments was stressing her out. So for her and his son's sake, he stopped the weekend visitation.

He still spoke to us on the phone and took us out for dinner and days out, but just didn't let us sleep over. When his son was born, he was premature and had health complications, which meant him staying in hospital for weeks and frequent hospital admissions. Jane was also going through PPD, so he wasn't able to see us as much and had to miss some events when he was taking care of Jane and his son. Jane was unable to get a job locally, and the opportunity was too good to pass up, so they had to move.

He pointed out that he came back to town for weekends as much as he could to see us and would always invite us to fly out and spend vacations with him. He phoned every day, but I refused to speak to or see him. They had flown in for my graduation, but I refused to invite him, and he lost his temper and refused to give me my college fund. He apologized for this and tried to fix this a few weeks later and give me the money, but I refused. He has not spent the money, he still has it, and I have only to ask, and I can have it. He had visited me at my college to try to talk to me, but I refused to see him. He then said he was not going to miss family events. He makes a scene because he misses me and just wants to talk to me and reconcile, but I always end up running away or shouting insults at him

and Jane. He has been trying for 16 years to reconnect, but I shut him down at every turn and he just wants to be my dad. He is an old friend of my fiancé's dad, and he hoped my fiancé could talk some sense into me and open a line of communication. He feels I never gave Jane a chance, no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. Jane hates knowing I talk bad about her, am mean to her children and won't speak to him. Then he said that he is in therapy and wants me to join him for family sessions. He wants me to spend time with him one-on-one, stop being rude and mean to his children, stop trash-talking Jane to everyone, and actually give her a chance. He also wants me to invite him and his family to my wedding and walk me down the aisle. I want him to stop talking to

friends and getting others to try and talk to me on his behalf. I want him to keep Jane away from me completely and that I'll be civil at events or in town providing he does not try and hug me or talk to me. My mom told him he was being unrealistic about some of the things he wants, especially regarding Jane and his other children. So we have agreed for now that I will attend three therapy sessions with him when he arranges it. My mom thinks I need individual therapy as well, that he will stop trying to interfere in my life and relationships, and that he will keep Jane away from me and talk to his kids to give me space. On my side, I will be civil to him in public as long as he respects my personal space

and does not approach or pressure me. As for my fiancé, I still haven't spoken to him. He turned up at my mom's, but she refused to let him in. He keeps blowing up my phone, and so do his family and friends, telling me to hear him out. During my conversation with my dad, I found out my dad has paid for most of the vendors and services for my upcoming wedding, and they have been on speaking terms for quite some time, longer than I thought. Lou told me his family had paid for these and I believed him. I feel betrayed by him, and I can't trust him. I'm going to have to speak to him eventually, but I don't feel ready.

Update 3. I'm updating for those who have asked for an update and were supportive of me. This will be my last post, and I won't be posting again. Firstly, the deal with my dad is off the table. He couldn't even manage a week without overstepping my boundaries. So there will be no therapy sessions with him, and I will remain no contact. As you are all aware, after speaking to my dad we agreed on a way forward in my conditions. Keep Jane away from me, tell his kids to back off and don't pressure me or invade my space. It lasted three days.

Everyone seemed happy I'd forgiven my dad and told me so. My sister was excited. I was willing to give him a chance, and with some pressure, I agreed to have dinner with just her and my dad. When my sister and I arrived at the restaurant to meet our dad, he was not alone. He had invited Jane, my grandparents, his son, and his daughter. He got up and tried to hug me. I immediately became upset and asked. why they were there. My dad told me that if we had any hope of repairing our relationship,

I had to accept Jane and my younger siblings. I told him he had just broken our deal and to never contact me again and I tried to leave. He refused to let me leave and grabbed hold of me. When I say all hell broke loose, I mean it. I started shouting at them. My dad, Jane and grandparents tried to gaslight me and convince me to sit down. When that didn't work, things got got very heated and a shouting match started, and a lot of unforgivable things were said by my dad and Jane including remarks about my appearance and calling me a psychopath. My half-brother walked out of the restaurant, and my half-sister started to cry. My sister actually surprised me and defended me, shouting at my dad for ruining things after all this

time when I had finally given him a chance. She even slapped Jane. She got me out of there and apologized to me. I think this was the first time she had really seen how Jane was with me and how she treated me. She kept saying she couldn't understand how dad had spent years saying he would do anything to have me back and then doing this when he finally got his chance to rebuild the relationship. My dad has been trying to contact me, but I have blocked him and refused to talk to him. I have also refused to speak to my grandparents. My dad has tried to convince my mom and sister to speak to me, but I think he's burned his bridges with them. The incident from the restaurant has spread, and some people,

seem to be backing off. Like I said, what my dad and Jane shouted at me was unforgivable, and they were overheard, and this is a small town. Hopefully, people will back off, and those who won't I'm going to have to cut them out. My sister is very unhappy with my dad and Jane and is not speaking to them. She is blaming them for me not having contact with them again. My sister is not letting them see her kids. I don't know if my sister will reconcile, but right now, she is furious. My mom is also furious and apparently had a few choice words with my dad and Jane and has promised she will never pressure me to speak to him again. In any case, I'm going to go to individual therapy. I think I definitely need it. I do feel bad about my half-siblings as they

haven't done anything wrong. I am maybe open to having a distance kind of relationship with them in the future, but I'm not ready yet or know if I'll ever be. I did send them a message on Facebook to a apologize and tell them they'd done nothing wrong. Lastly, to update you all, in regards to my fiancé, well, I spoke to him yesterday about everything. I had been radio silence since walking out on him. Basically, he was pressured by his father to speak to my dad and was fed a sob story of a misunderstood father desperately wanting to be in his daughter's life. Lou had become annoyed with me refusing to attend his family events and walking out of his mother's birthday party when I realized my dad and Jane was there as he was getting pressure from his family about me ruining their events.

He just wanted everyone to be happy and get along clearly at my expense. Lou admitted that my dad had paid for some of the vendors for the wedding, but he did not know this until after it had already been paid. His father had told Lou that he and his mom had paid. My dad had told Lou it was a gift and that it was his way of contributing. Lou admitted my dad had asked him to speak to me on his behalf. I told Lou he had betrayed. He had my trust and I couldn't see myself marrying someone who does not support me. He broke down crying and apologizing to me and promising to never do it again. Lou was heartbroken and begged for a second chance.

To those of you who wanted me to break up with him, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but we are going to try and work through this. Apart from this issue, he had been the best partner, and I genuinely think that his family and my dad manipulated him. Lou has promised to stand up to his family and stop contacting my dad. I'm still living at my mom's as I still need some space, which I won't have if I move home. We are going to contact our wedding vendors and see what our options are next week. Elle is begging for a postponement rather than canceling it altogether.

We may still break up, as actions speak louder than words, and I need to see if he can rebuild what we had and show me I can trust and depend on him. I hope you enjoy this story. Sil prohibited my child from attending her marriage celebration because of his sickness. Consequently, we departed, only for her to subsequently inform others that I harbored envy towards her. Just recently, my relatives and I were attending my sister-in-law Annie's 35F wedding. My husband, 42M, and I, 40F, have been together for almost 20 years, married for 17, and we have two kids together. My son is 15 years old and my daughter is 12.

Both of them are well-behaved, good kids and everyone adores them, which is why their reaction to this incident that took place recently is even more confusing for me. Anyway, my son was recently diagnosed with narcolepsy a couple of months ago. It came as a huge blow to the family, and we are still coping with it. He is being treated for it and he's responding well to the treatment. We are just trying to make life easier for him. and he himself is quite self-conscious of it. But we did not want him to be ashamed of it

because it's not his fault and we wanted him to know that. Everyone had been very sympathetic towards us when we initially told people about the diagnosis, including Annie. She and I have never been the closest to friends, but it's not like we have had any issues with each other either, at least not to my knowledge. She and I have always been very cordial and that's about it.

We tried to be friends with each other initially, but we were just very different and we quickly realized that there was a lot of friction between us. So instead of forcing each other to be friends with the other, it would be better for us to just maintain a cordial familial relationship and not try to push the boundaries. I guess it was a bit of a bummer for her because my husband's family is very close-knit, but this was a situation that could not be helped. Anyway, I had never expected her to turn out like this or even my in-laws to go against me in the way that they have. It all happened because about an hour before the wedding was supposed to start, Annie told me that she would prefer for me not to bring my son to the ceremony because she was afraid that he might start dozing off, and that would become a cause of concern for everyone during the ceremony.

She did not want anybody disrupting the event and said that my son's condition was not ideal, so she wanted me to tell him to stay in the hotel room during the ceremony and he could join us later. I was shocked that she would even suggest something like this because the wedding ceremony was not going to be more than an hour. long and it was not like my son had not been treated for his condition he had taken his medication for the day and even if he did start dozing off, it was my duty and my husband's duty to take care of him. And we would make sure that it did not disrupt the ceremony. Besides, if he fell asleep, I'm pretty sure nobody would even notice because all eyes would be on her, but even then, she insisted that he stay in his room and not join everyone for the ceremony. When she started being stubborn about it, I got very offended, and I told her that if my son could not be a part of the ceremony,

then I had no interest in joining them either and walked away. I was really upset because my husband and I have been trying really hard to make sure that my son did not feel self-conscious about it and telling him to stay in the room and not join his family for the ceremony would only make everything worse for him. So when I came back to our hotel room, I pulled my husband aside and spoke to him in person to tell him about what his sister had just said. Just as I had expected, he was even more pissed off than I was and said that he was going to talk to her and give her a peace of his mind. But I did not want to create drama just an hour before the wedding, so I told him that if she did not want our son attending the wedding, then the only thing we could do was just walk out.

Because after what she had said, even if she agreed to have him present at the ceremony, it would mean nothing because I would know deep down that my son was not wanted there. And look, it's her wedding, it's up to her what he wants to do. But if she did not want my son to be at the ceremony, then she shouldn't have invited the kids at all. That would have made it much easier for them to understand, rather than have them present at the wedding and make my son sit in his room all by himself for the duration of the ceremony. That was just humiliating for him. And I'm sorry, but as a guest, if my son is going to be treated like that, I have no interest in being a part of an event like that. So after a brief discussion with my husband, we decided that we were going to just be treated. pack up our things and leave that very instant.

We did not even bother to say goodbye to Annie or anyone else because we did not want to make a big deal out of it. And to be fair, even she had not bothered to contact us after I had walked away from the discussion with her. So it was very obvious to us that she couldn't care less about whether my son or I attended or not. But I guess it did make a difference to her whether my husband attended or not since people would definitely find it very weird that her brother was not present at the ceremony or for the following event. It took us around 10 minutes to pack everything in the hotel room and we had forbidden our kids from asking any questions about why we were leaving because we didn't even know how to tell the truth or explain this to them.

After we had packed up everything, we started driving back home and around half an hour before the wedding, Annie finally started calling her brother. Since my husband was driving, I was the one who answered the call and she immediately started shouting at me, believing me to be her brother. She seemed very annoyed with the fact that we had just checked out without even bothering to inform her and said that we were overreacting because what she had said about not wanting my son at the ceremony was not even as harsh as we were making it out to be. And even if we were offended by that, we should have spoken to her before leaving because now, she would have to explain to everyone at the wedding why her brother was not attending, even though everyone had seen that he had been present at the rehearsal dinner. She told him that it was still not too late. He could just come back and make it in time for the ceremony and we would be able to discuss all of this later. I was about to tell her that it was not her brother, it was me who was on the phone, when she said that don't let that wife of yours drag you away from your real family.

And that was pretty much the last straw for me because after she said that, I immediately made it known to her that I was the one who had picked up the call because her brother was driving and she had been speaking to me. Now I knew exactly what she thought of me and I was even more sure of the fact that I did not want to be present at her wedding and my husband and I were doing the right thing by leaving because she had not just insulted my son but now she had insulted me as well. I didn't even give her a chance to speak and hung up and then blocked her. My husband did not have a problem with any of that and we just continued to drive back home. He continued to receive a bunch of calls from his parents and several other numbers that he did not recognize, but we ignored all of them and just kept driving. Our kids were obviously very confused, but we didn't tell them anything and we still haven't because I don't want to make my son feel even more self-conscious than he already is. Anyway, after we got home, we muted everybody and decided that we were not going to be checking

any messages for the next couple of days. Because honestly, things had gotten very intense and dramatic, and we did not want to play into the drama. But the next day, in the evening, my in-laws showed up at our house and they were pissed. In fact, to say that they were just pissed would be an understatement because as soon as we let them in, they started screaming at both of us. They accused me in particular of sabotaging their daughter's wedding and said that I had done this on purpose. It came as a huge shock to me because, honestly, like I had said, I had always had a cordial relationship with my husband's family. I was not as close to them as they expected me to be, but that's just because I had my own boundaries and I didn't want to push them. I thought they had been fine with it, but clearly not because in spite of the fact that my husband

and I had been married for 20 years, they were still acting like they didn't even know who I was as a person and said that I had sabotaged Annie's wedding on purpose. Not only was that accusation ridiculous enough by itself, but they also said that I had done this because I was jealous of her. The reason that they suggested that I was speechless of her was equally stupid. They thought that Annie was much more successful than me and even her wedding was a lot more grand than the one that I had back when I was getting married to my husband and so, I had taken it upon myself to make sure that it became all about me and my husband, and why we had walked out. Just to be clear, Annie is neither more nor less successful than I am. I mean, I don't even know how they are defining success because

Annie is an entrepreneur and has a sauce business and I work in publishing. It's two wildly different lines of work, so I don't even know how they would be comparing it. Even if they take into consideration the kind of income we have, I would still maintain that we are definitely equally successful. I'm saying that because I don't want to put anyone down to make myself look better, mostly because I don't have to because I'm not insecure. As for her wedding being organized on a much larger scale than mine, I think that did not surprise anyone because she's getting married at 35 when she's already pretty much established herself. When my husband and I got married, we were really young and it just started working.

Our parents wanted to fund the wedding, but we thought it would be more practical for us to take that money and invest it in our future, so that's what we did with the wedding funds. We were quite happy with our small and intimate wedding and it was definitely not a bone of contention. And I really did not appreciate the fact that they were implying that I had ruined my sister-in-law's wedding on purpose just because I was jealous of her or something

because that's not the kind of person that I am and even if Annie did not accept it, I would have expected my in-laws to do so at the very least. I was honestly really overwhelmed when they started yelling at me about how I had sabotaged everything on purpose and made the entire wedding about myself by walking out and overreacting over something so petty and small. And then they started telling me that I had to apologize because they knew that I had done this purely out of jealousy and nothing else and the rest of the family apparently agreed because that's what they had told everyone at the wedding.

They had to come up with some explanation as to why my husband and his family were not present at the wedding because everyone knew how close we were and people had seen us all at the rehearsal dinner the previous night. So they had concocted this story about how I had been sulking the entire time at the rehearsal dinner, and when Annie has spoken to me about it, I had picked a fight with her on purpose about how she was having a grand wedding and rubbing it in our faces to make us feel small on purpose and convinced my husband to walk out over it. Now, of course, I came off looking really bad in this story that they had concocted and that's what really sent me off the it was bad enough that they had come up with a lie to cover up for Annie and make me

the bad guy instead. But when they said that the rest of the family believed it and thought that I was sabotaging my sister-in-law's wedding on purpose because I was jealous of her and everyone agreed that I should apologize to her, I just felt so bad because that's not who I am and I felt like everyone had misjudged me. At that point, I couldn't even bring myself to defend myself and my husband, and I just broke down into tears. My husband realized that my in-laws had to have. My husband realized that my in-laws absolutely no respect for me and when I started crying, he told them to get out of his house because they had no right to speak to me this way. They tried to argue, but my husband was very firm and said that he would call the cops on them if they refused. Even before leaving, they repeated the

same thing that Annie had said, that my husband shouldn't allow me to dictate anything that he does because my eventual goal is to drag him away from his family. That made me cry even harder and my husband had to spend a good half an hour comforting me before I finally stopped crying. He told me that he doesn't care what his family thinks because he knows me as a person and as long as we know the truth, it doesn't matter what kind of lies they have told the rest of the family about me. Once I felt better, we were just going to put out a statement on social media and tell everyone the truth about why we had left. Until then, he just wanted me to relax and not think of this because his family is just being awful simply because I had dared to have boundaries and

they were not used to it. That's what the problem was and I did not need to worry about it because we all know it's not my fault. So he reassured me a lot, but one conversation with my mother undid all of that. Yesterday, she had called me in the morning, just to talk to me, and while chatting, I told her everything that had happened with my in-laws and stuff. After hearing the entire incident, I thought that she was going to take my side, but instead, she just stayed quiet. I could tell that she did not agree with me, but I wanted to know exactly what her thoughts were on this incident. So I told her to be honest with me and I really wished that I hadn't because she told me that she wasn't exactly surprised that things had turned out this way because even before I got married.

She had told me a lot of times that I had to actually put in an effort to get along with my in-laws and I couldn't just stay away and still expect them to accept me as part of the family. If I could see so clearly that my husband's family were really attached to each other, then I should have made an effort to assimilate and become one of them, but instead, I pushed everyone away and made my own space separately. She told me that what I did was not inherently wrong, but it was still pretty silly of me to expect that in spite of my behavior towards them, they would still accept me as part of their family. Let me just make it clear that I have never behaved badly with my in-laws, but I had definitely made a separate space for myself because I thought it was important to have a

separate identity. All I did was just not bother to constantly keep in touch with them every day, visit them every other day, and act like we were the best of friends. But honestly, I did not think that was an acceptable reason to treat me so horribly because we had always had a normal relationship and they had never come across as if they didn't like me. And yet, I couldn't stop thinking about what my mother had said, even after I argued with her and tried to defend myself. So that's why I'm making this post right now because I want to ask Ida for not making an effort to connect with my husband's family? Update 1. So I told my husband about what my mother had said, and he told me that while he respected my mom,

she could be pretty weird sometimes, and she did have a problem with internalized misogyny and constantly expected me to act the same way that she had with her in-laws. For context, my mother had given up her entire life just because my in-laws did not approve of it. My grandparents were pretty orthodox and did not think that she had any need to work after I was born, so they made her quit her job and eventually, they started controlling every aspect of her life. My father, unfortunately, was not the kind of guy who took note of any of this. So even though he loved my mother, he never protested against any of this and went along with it because that's what he thought was normal since he had grown up witnessing this kind of life around him. I guess that's why my mother thought that I should have made more of an effort to get along well with my in-laws because she had molded herself to be well-liked by her husband's family, and she thought that everyone should do the same.

It came from a bad place and I felt like I could understand why she thought this way, but that was still no excuse to argue with me, especially when I was upset. Besides, I'm not my mother. I don't have to put up with the same things that she did and I am lucky enough to have a husband who wouldn't expect me to do so either. So after discussing this with him, I felt better about the situation because regardless of what my mother had said, I knew that I was not at fault. and honestly, my in-laws have had a very weird idea about what a family should be like. They expected me to be present at every family dinner, which they hosted quite frequently, almost every weekend. And my husband and I live in the suburbs, so it's not feasible for us to drive all the way to their place every weekend. And more importantly, we also have to think about the kids and their lives.

We need some time to ourselves as a family as well, so I think that was pretty unreasonable of them. As for Annie, she lived really close to them, so it was more practical for her to be present for her parents at all times. My in-laws also expected me and my husband to call them every other day and spend hours on the phone with them, discussing our lives. They wanted family getaways every other weekend, family vacations every other month and, you know, the works. I guess they never really realized that this is the real world, not a sitcom and most of this is not really feasible if we are being practical. So if they had such unreasonable expectations from us, they were just setting themselves up for failure and that's not our fault anyhow. It's not even like I had forced my husband to stay away from his family like they were making it out to be, he did not want to spend as much time with them either because he had his own family to take care of now, and after 20 years, I guess they should have taken the hint.

And now, coming to what happened at the wedding, that was not even about the family in general. I did not even think about the rest of the family before walking out, I did. that for the sake of my son, and it was definitely not a move to sabotage her. But their decision to spread lies about me and tell everyone some crazy story about why we had walked out, was definitely a move to ruin my reputation and it could not go unanswered. So my husband and I decided to put out a statement like we had said we would. And we still maintain what we said about not caring about what the rest of the family thinks about me, we really don't care about it.

But the reason that it was important for us to put out that statement and let everyone know the truth was because they could not get away with lying about me. They had enough time to apologize to us, but they hadn't and now, we were going to let everyone know the real reason why we had not been present at the wedding. And honestly, I was doing this more for the sake of my son, than for myself, because he had been able to figure out that there had been some problem regarding him, I guess. I don't think we had kept our voices while we were fighting with our in-laws and he might have picked up on some of the conversation and figured out that his aunt had probably not even wanted him at the wedding and we had walked out over that. So he had become very self-conscious

about it again and I could tell that he was really upset, since he thought that this was all happening because of him. And I wanted him to know that this was not his fault. If there was anyone to blame for the situation, then it would be his aunt and his grandparents. The best way to do that would be just to put out the truth and now that it's done now, my husband and I can finally breathe a sigh of relief. I don't know if people are going to believe this version and I don't know if it's going to create even more drama in our lives, but it was important for us to let everyone know what really happened and we are glad that we did. So whatever. Update 2, hi, so my in-laws have not reached out to me yet, but my brother-in-law did. I'm not surprised that Annie's husband decided to apologize to her because when we met him,

he seemed to be a pretty decent guy and he lived up to that expectation. Obviously Annie considers us beneath herself, so she couldn't be bothered to apologize to us herself, but her husband decided to send us a message saying that he was willing to apologize on her behalf. We don't really count it as an apology from her, but we appreciate the gesture from his end. Another interesting thing that happened was that a bunch of relatives reached out to us that they knew that there was something about the version of the story that my in-laws had been telling them, and they hadn't wanted to believe that I was capable of being so vindictive. So they had been waiting for us to put out a statement and the reason they hadn't contacted us to

confirm the story was because they did not want to stir the pot. But now that the truth was out, they were all firmly on my side. I thought that this was really strange behavior because from what I knew, my in-laws had said that the rest of the family also believed that I had sabotaged Annie's wedding out of jealousy and they expected me to apologize to her, but this reaction made me feel like my in-laws had probably been lying. So I spoke to one of my husband's cousins and he told me that most of the family had flat out refused to believe the version of the story that my in-laws had been telling everyone and they had been waiting for some clarification from our end. I guess my in-laws had been trying

to manipulate us into believing that the rest of the family was also against us, and maybe that would cause us to apologize to Annie. What would they have gained out of it? Absolutely nothing apart from the satisfaction of having us flatter their already overinflated egos. I'm honestly really glad that I did not apologize to them and that my husband and I did not fall for the trap that they had been setting up for us. I'm also really happy that most of the family is with me because that means that nobody is going to be speaking to my in-laws or any. I don't really mean to sound vindictive or vengeful, but they do deserve this. Anyway, I haven't spoken to my mother for the past couple of days after we got into that fight, so maybe I might even let her know what has happened so she realizes that she was wrong as well.

Her, I'm still willing to forgive but regarding my husband and his family, even if I forgive them, I'm not sure that my husband will. And also, thank you so much for such kind words about our son and I'm sure that he's going to get better with time. It means a lot to us, so thank you. Update 3. Hey. So I finally spoke to my mother after almost three weeks of no contact, and I've explained a lot of things to her. I can't say that we have sorted things out just yet, but we are trying to, we are working on it. All I can say is that both of us missed each other a lot and after my father passed away six years ago, I am all that she has so she wouldn't want to lose me, and neither do I want to lose her.

She is willing to learn and change her ways and be more sensitive towards my feelings, and I'm going to stick with her while she tries to become that person. Old habits are hard to unlearn and I can understand that, but I don't want to give up on her, so I'm going to keep on trying. I wish we could say the same thing for my in-laws, though, but whatever, they don't even deserve this second chance. After we made that post, most of the family was with us and they refused to even acknowledge the existence of that post. From what I've heard, Annie even got into a huge fight with her husband because he had bothered to apologize to us, and she had even moved back in with her parents for a couple of days,

but then she went back to him. Honestly, I know it's going to sound very if I say it at out loud, but I hope that that guy leaves and find somebody better. Because my husband and I think that he deserves better since he seems to be a decent human being and I'm sure it won't be a struggle to find someone better than Annie. But whatever, that's their choice to make, and we don't want to interfere in their lives anymore. We have gone completely no contact with them, we have blocked them everywhere that we possibly can and we have discussed what we might say if they apologize to us as well. My husband does not want to speak to them right now, so even if they do apologize to us, we are going to maintain our distance. But that seems unlikely because all they have

done so far is tried to mock us through social media. They have also posted a bunch of jokes and memes about narcoleptic people and I think it's a bit insensitive but whatever, that just shows the kind of people that they are and it does not reflect on us anyhow. Our children are most precious to us, and if this is the attitude that his family has towards them, we don't want anything to do with these kinds of people. Speaking of the kids, they have been pretty down in the dumps recently. So my husband and I have decided that we are going to leave for a family getaway this weekend and it's one that is desperately needed because we have all been pretty stressed out of late. All of us definitely need some time off and family is all that we have,

so we are going to make the most of the time that we have without kids before they grow up. I hope you enjoy this story. I evicted my unfaithful spouse after he requested that I care for the hidden daughter he fathered with his lover who is no longer alive. I declined to take on the responsibility, so my decision was final. Is calling me the villain now? So I, 26F, have been married for almost two years. My husband, Kyle, 26M, and I met around the time that we graduated from college at a frat party. We were in different departments and I had seen him around college, but we didn't really interact

much. Our friends had dragged us to the party because it was one of the last before the semester ended, and both of us were having a terrible time there as both of us are kind of introverted and parties are not really our things. Especially once people were getting drunk and throwing up all over the place. So I kept insisting that I wanted to leave and my friends didn't. But they saw Kyle was leaving and asked him to walk with me instead because I also wanted to leave. So we ended up living together and we started talking on the walk back to campus and it was nice so we exchanged numbers at the end of it. Then we started texting and soon after graduation, we started dating.

We were in a relationship for almost four years before he finally popped the question and we ended up getting married. We have had our ups and downs, but most of it has been really petty and unimportant. There have been no big fights, not when we were dating, and not even after we got married. I never suspected him of cheating or anything of the sort, because it just never occurred to me and his behavior around me was always perfectly normal. I thought he was in love with me, and he insists that he still is but clearly, that was not the case because otherwise, he would not have cheated on me. About three weeks ago, Kyle came back home with a little girl in his arms who I had seen very few times before, but I realized that it was the daughter of one of his friends. He didn't offer up any explanation himself when he walked into the house after work with a child in his arms, so I had to ask him what this was all about. He didn't tell me anything until he had said the girl down on the couch with his phone and put on something and then he had taken me aside to the bedroom.

The way he was behaving was really freaking me out, and I could tell that something bad was about to happen. I just had a sixth sense telling me that something was very off. Once we were inside the bedroom, he sat me down and told me that he had something that he had to tell me. He started off by telling me that he still loved me more than anything in this world and that what he was about to tell me might make me feel. otherwise, but I needed to remember that we were meant to be together. Instantly, I knew that the child was his, but I still let him talk because I was hoping against all odds that there would be some innocent explanation for the little girl sitting in our living room.

However, when he started talking, I knew that it was all over. He told me that it had all started a week before we were supposed to get married because that's when it had started really hitting him that he was getting married and now, he had to spend the rest of his life with one person. Like most guys do, he got cold feet and was about to make a run for it the night before the wedding, but one of his friends caught him in the act. Now this friend of his who passed away recently, let's call her Nikki, had been smoking in the parking lot and was apparently on a phone call outside because that was the only place she could get a signal, which is why she had been able to catch him before he got into his car. She had noticed the duffel bag that he had packed for the quick getaway and figured out what was going on, so she tried to calm him down and tell him that it would all be fine.

She even got into the car with him and tried to talk him out of it, but they ended up making out in the car. He and Nikki had known each other for a really long time since they went to high school together and I had always suspected that Nikki had a thing for him, but there was no proof of it, so I never said anything about it. She would always be nice to me as well, so I had no reason to bring it up and make a a big deal out of it. But I always had a gut feeling that she thought of Kyle as more than a friend and had I not been part of the equation, she probably would have tried to get with him. Anyway, Kyle told me that he ended up spending the night before our wedding with her and they slept

together because he was nervous and she was the only person who had been around. He said that he hadn't been thinking straight and that as soon as he realized what he had done, he decided to apologize to her and leave so he could come back to his own room and get married to me because I was the one person he actually loved. He left her room at around four in the morning and came back to his own room immediately so nobody saw him leave at any point and so, he had been able to keep this a secret for quite a long time. Nikki also didn't bring it up later and they decided that whatever had happened on the night

before our wedding had been nothing but a huge mistake and so, they were never going to talk about it ever again because she knew that he was happy with me and he had made up his mind that he wanted to be with me. I wish I could say that that was it, but unfortunately, a few people were. A few weeks later, Nikki reached out to Kyle yet again because she was pregnant. That's when everything started going topsy-turvy because they hadn't accounted for this happening at all and both of them had been caught off guard by the news. But Nikki decided that she was going to keep the baby and had given Kyle the chance to either

walk away from having a relationship with the child or he could choose to be an active part of the baby's life. And Kyle chose to co-parent their child together. He didn't sign the parental rights that he had and was there for Nikki every step of the way. He would attend most of the appointments that she had with her OB slash GYN, and even on the day of her birth, he was with her all along. It was quite easy to fool me because every time he had to be with Nikki, he would just tell me that he had to go on a work trip, and he would be gone. I knew that she was pregnant, I had also congratulated her, and even on the day of our first anniversary together, she had been invited to the party, but little did I know that the baby she brought to the party was my husband's. The story that Nikki told everyone was that she got pregnant while hooking up with the dating app match,

and the guy didn't want to be a part of the pregnancy and the child's life, so she was a single mom now. The story was believable enough, so nobody questioned it and her daughter had very normal features, so it never occurred to me that she looked similar to Kyle. Kyle and Nikki had been in touch even after the wedding and she had even been to our house several times after that on many occasions. I never noticed anything off about the way they behaved around each other, so it was quite easy for them to fool me. Nikki rarely ever brought her daughter along, so I would only see her in pictures, which is why

I hadn't been able to recognize her when my husband brought her in last time. He told me that he had been supporting them and would visit them every chance he got, just to be close to his daughter. He promised me that there was nothing between him and Nikki, and they had ended their affair after that night before the wedding. They had never been anything before or after it, it had just been one night, but he had continued to stay in touch with her because they had a parental agreement and shared custody of their daughter. He also had to pay child support, and he really wanted to be a part of his daughter's life,

so he couldn't walk away from her. Unfortunately, Nikki passed away a month ago in a deadly car accident because a drunk truck driver had collided with her car. Their daughter had been living with her parents for the past few weeks, but now, Kyle had decided that it was finally time to tell me the truth and he wanted me to accept him and his daughter so she could have a mother and we could be a family together. After I had heard his entire story and processed it, I had no idea what he was going to tell me next because I was in shock. But the second he told me that he expected me to actually raise his daughter as my own after

he just told me that he had cheated on me and slept with his friend the day before we were supposed to get married, I flipped out. I started screaming at him mysterically and told him that I was never going to accept him or his daughter because what he had done to me was something that I could never forgive. I told him that the fact that he had even asked me and expected me to say yes showed me just how entitled he was and how tone deaf and insensitive he could be. I had a total breakdown and I remember cursing him out while throwing everything in the room here and there. I had a full-blown meltdown, and once it was over, I decided that I was not going to let him live here anymore. While I had been having my episode, Kyle was just standing around and trying to

calm me down by saying meaningless things so that we could work out and that he knew I didn't mean anything I was saying because I was just angry. He told me that, even though his daughter was partly Nicky's, it was also partly his, and he knew that I would come to accept her time. So I told him that I had nothing against the little girl because none of this was her fault, but he should have known better, and he shouldn't have cheated. I told him that he had to pack his stuff and leave because I was not going to let a cheater like him live with me in this house and my decision was final. I also told him that he had to take his daughter with him and go, because no matter what, I was never going to accept the two of them in this family. What's done was done, he couldn't

change it, but I wasn't going to put up with it either. He tried to guilt-trip me by saying that I had made promises to him when I got married to him and I had to be there for him in his bad times. But I told him that all those promises went out of the window as soon as he told me that he had cheated on me right before making the same promises to me. I had signed up for a husband, not for this. He kept trying to talk me out of it, but I told him that I had already made up my mind and he couldn't even disagree because the deed of our house was under my name since it had been a wedding gift from my dad, and I had every right to kick him out. So after a lot of arguing and back and forth, he finally decided to start packing his thing so he could leave. I had made

abundantly clear that I didn't want him or his daughter in my house anymore. He was very upset as well, and he thought that I would have a heart and be understanding about this, but I told him that I didn't really care. He had betrayed me and had continued to betray me for two years, by not telling me the truth. If Nikki hadn't passed away in that terrible accident, he probably wouldn't even have told me the truth at any point. And I would have just spent my life with a cheater, never getting to know about his daughter or his affair. And I didn't even know if he was telling me the truth about it being just one night that he had spent with Nikki. For all I know, it could have been a long-drawn affair, but now I would never know about it, because she was gone, and nobody else knew about them

either. So there were a lot of loose ends in the story and unfortunately, nobody would ever be able to tie them up for me, but it was fine because I didn't want to be a part of the story anyway. I was done with him the second he told me that he had cheated. Even while he was leaving, he told me that I was being heartless by kicking him out along with his daughter. And it did make me feel a little guilty because his daughter had no idea what was happening and she was just a little girl so she didn't really deserve any of this, but I knew that she would be taken care of. Kyle was by no means poor or anything so once he got kicked out, he would probably either just go to a hotel or live with his parents. So I knew that she would be safe and sound with him, she just wouldn't be living with me. and I don't think there was anything heartless about it.

Before he left, I told him that this might teach him a lesson about honesty, and if he ever got married again, he would know better than to lie to her about something so big. Then I slammed the door shut in his face as he waited for a cab outside. Once I had made sure that he had left, I finally allowed myself to actually cry, and I think I sobbed for hours that day. I also called my parents after he left and told them everything, and they told me that I could come live with them or they could come live with me, just so I would have company and I wouldn't have to go through this all on my own.

So they have been living with me for the past few days. It's been almost two weeks, and I still haven't filed for divorce yet, because I don't have the courage to do it, but Kyle is trying to get me back. He has been texting me almost every day to apologize to me for everything, and he insists that I don't let this minor hiccup in our marriage ruin what we have. I don't understand how he can refer to this other minor hiccup. because as far as I am concerned, he lied to me for years and it wasn't really a small lie. It was a pretty big one, and it shook up the literal foundation of our marriage.

And I don't think anybody in my place would treat this as something minor or petty like he is trying to convince me. He's trying to downplay the impact of what has happened. So I don't leave him, I can understand that. But what his parents are trying to do is worse because they are trying to vilify me, just because I stood up for myself and refused to let Kyle stay with me after he told me that he had had an affair with Nikki. They sent me a long email a couple of days ago and they had a lot to say about all of this. Of course, there was the usual, calling me, selfish and cold-hearted, and whatnot. They also said that, since Nikki was no longer in this world, there was no reason for me to be so

upset about it, because it wasn't as if they would rekindle the affair at any cost. So I had no reason to feel so insecure and go to such lengths. And moreover, since she was dead, it was all the more reason for me to adopt her daughter and live as a family. It was the right thing to do. Long story short, they went all out in their email to make me the bad guy and called me the villain because of the way I was acting. And I seriously don't understand how I am in the wrong here. For a really long time, I have done everything that a good wife would and tried my best to be a good partner to Kyle. But this is something that I cannot accept or forgive, knowing that he cheated on me with someone who visited us several times after that.

Knowing that she had been under my roof and we had so many conversations, it makes my skin crawl. The disrespect is astounding, and yet, he expected me to accept him and his daughter. The most I can do is feel bad for him, but I cannot let my pride go and adopt his daughter. At the same time, that email has made me rethink a lot of things. I can't really deal with the fact that my in-laws are calling me the villain over something like this. They have always been nice to me, even while I was dating Kyle, and as far as I know, they were not aware of the fact that they had a granddaughter, so it was a surprise to them as well. They mentioned in the mail as well that if they could accept it, then I shouldn't have any problems

doing the same. It's not really the same thing, though, since I was cheated on, so I don't know what they are going on about. But anyway, coming back to the issue at hand, I just want to keep my conscience clear and I can't talk to my friends about this. Not yet, anyway. So Ida for kicking my husband out of the house after he brought home his secret daughter because his affair partner passed away? Update 1. Thank you so much, you guys, for the overwhelming response. I'm staying strong, thanks to you guys and the support of my parents. I told them about the affair and the child and what Kyle had expected of me, and they were nothing but supportive of me. They told me that I had done

the right thing by kicking him out because he needed to be taught a lesson and taken down a peg. They told me that it was outrageous, that he had even expected that I would accept the two of them and live happily ever after. It was just stupid of him. My father, especially, was really upset because he hadn't really liked Kyle in the first place, because he thought that my husband was a little too flighty for his taste. The reason for that was that he had switched careers many times but with very little success. He had a lot of money, but he had barely ever accomplished something because he just kept jumping from one job to one another, without bothering to stay at one for long enough to find out about his future with the company. And I had always defended

him, saying that there was nothing of the sort, but as it turns out, my dad was right about everything. So they're trying to look for good divorce attorneys and then, I can file for divorce because I don't think there is any point in waiting around anymore. He can keep apologizing, but that doesn't mean I'll have to forgive him at any point. And in my heart, I don't think that I can ever forgive him after what he has done. Some things are just never going to be fine, no matter how much you try to make them be. Update 2, hey, so it's been two weeks since I last posted on Reddit. About four days ago, I filed for divorce, and my dad found me one of the best attorneys in town,

something that I am grateful for because now the divorce will mostly be in my favor unless he finds someone better. But that is unlikely because even if he does find the best lawyer in the country, he still cheated. Anyway, that's not the point right now. This morning, Kyle was served with the divorce papers, and he was not pleased about it. Since he got kicked out, he has been texting me every day to try and win me over, but I guess today, he realized that I was never coming back. And that did not sit right with him, so instead of just gracefully accepting it and letting go with dignity, he decided to make a scene in front of my house. I guess he has been living with his parents, there's no other explanation because today when he showed up in front of my house, his daughter was not

with him. And I am thankful that she wasn't because I don't think any kid would have liked to see what went down next. He started screaming at me from the street and called me a bunch of names. He said that I was the worst and that he regretted ever marrying me. He should have just called off the wedding after that one night with Nikki and married her instead. And then, he even started blaming me for her demise. It was just absurd because he was saying that had I not been his wife, he would have married her and they would have been together and maybe she still would have been alive today and his daughter would have a mother. I don't even know how he came to that conclusion, because, as far as I knew, her car was plowed into by a drunken truck driver. I had absolutely nothing to do with it, so blaming me for

something as big as that, that's just psychotic, and I knew that he was having a breakdown of some sort, so I didn't say anything, but I did call the cops because wanted him away from me. And then they also started to call, asking for an explanation about what was going on because they knew us and they could recognize Kyle's voice. It was a whole mess. The cops arrived within 15 minutes and had him escorted off my property because while screaming, he had set foot into the garden. And I could have him arrested or have pressed charges against him, but I didn't because I didn't want the drama. I knew that my in-laws would have a lot to say if I did something like that, it just didn't seem worth it, so I let it go. He was let off with a warning, and he seemed reasonably

ashamed of himself while he was walking away. It was honestly a really weird day and I just wanted to be over. I really wish that he does not pull off stuff like this during the divorce because it's all really painful and stressful as it is, I don't need more. Update 3, hello, so I finally announced my divorce today on social media because a couple of friends were asking about me and Kyle and how we were doing because we had not posted anything together in a really long time. Nobody knows, apart from my parents and his parents, what we are going through. And I decided that today, I was going to tell everybody that we were getting divorced. They don't need to know the reason why but it's going to be awkward in the long run,

so I think it was important to announce it to people. And I'm so lucky that I did because when I posted it, Nikki's parents reached out to me. They told me that apparently, they had been waiting for a post like this after the demise of their daughter, and had been checking my profile every day through Nikki's account, and it had finally come through the news that the coast was clear,

and they could finally tell me the whole truth. They texted me from Nikki's phone, so it was quite freaky because it was like she was texting me or something, but of course, that was not the case. They told me apparently whatever Kyle had told me about them ending the affair after just one night of hooking up before the wedding was all a big fat lie. Kyle had actually been cheating on me until the day that Nikki passed away. They said that he would come over almost every other weekend and promise Nikki that he would leave me because she was in love with him, and he claimed that he was in love with her as well. The affair had never ended, he just lied to me about it being just one night.

Apparently, he had even taken her on weekend getaways a couple of times in the past two years. So I guess I was right to file for divorce. He was just trying to make a fool out of me yet again. And this time, it might have even been easier for him, since Nikki was not here anymore to deny or confirm the story. It makes me sick to think that he was going to take advantage of the fact that Nikki had passed away, and I hadn't posted about the divorce. Her parents never would have reached out to me and I probably wouldn't have a ever found out the truth. It's so scary to think that I could have spent my whole life believing in a lie like this. I'm really happy that I made that post. I also asked them if they would be

able to testify against him if it really came down to it, and they agreed readily. They told me that they had never approved of Kyle and Nikki's relationship, just because of the fact that he had been cheating on me. If he had refused to marry me once he realized that he had feelings for Nikki and broken off the marriage, it would have been moderately respectable. but instead of doing that, he continued to meet Nikki behind my back because he wasn't ready to give up on me either. They told me that they tested him because he was miserable throughout the pregnancy and even afterward because he would always promise that he would leave me, but everybody knew that was not going to happen because he cared too much about what other people thought of him to actually leave me.

If he left me and then he started going out with Nikki, he would immediately become the bad guy, and he didn't want that. So he was ready to cheat on me and betray my trust. and do the same to Nikki and put us both through so much pain because he cared about his reputation. It was just disgusting and I am really happy that I decided to file for a divorce because he doesn't deserve to be with me. In fact, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he doesn't deserve to be with anyone. Or rather, I cannot imagine a woman so horrible that she would deserve to be with him, because he is the worst man on earth. I know that Nikki loved him, I had always known it because

it was just so evident. And I know that she had been part of an affair with a married man, but for some reason, I just feel bad for her. Now, it might be the fact that she's gone but she didn't deserve this. The way her parents put it, she would cry day and night and the only respite from all the pain was her daughter. She had even been begging him to leave me because she couldn't do this anymore and even until a week before she passed away, he had promised her that he would leave me soon enough. But these were all false promises. and now, there's no need for him to live up to any of it. So I bet he must be very relieved.

The only reason he even came clean to me recently was because Nikki's parents were threatening to tell him if he didn't tell me the truth himself, so that's what drove him. And he realized that if he came to me with the truth, he would have more of a chance to manipulate it to suit him and his narrative, which is why he did it himself. He's just a nasty piece of work.

I'm going to make sure that I destroy him in the divorce because he doesn't deserve to get away with what he did, both to me and Nikki. I've already told my lawyer everything and he thinks it's good stuff. Let's see how it goes. I hope you enjoy this story. I discovered my roommate taking funds from me many years ago, and now he is financially struggling and asking to live with his privileged spouse. However, I am choosing to ignore his request.

I am a 39-year-old woman. been married to my husband for 12 years with two kids. I met my husband, Dan, 41m, in my mid-20s. He was living with his younger brother, Bran, 35m, when I first met him. This goes back to the time when I initially started going out with Dan. That was like 15 to 16 years ago. Brann was still in college, living with my husband. As we started going out, Dan eventually asked me to move in with them. They had rented a two-bedroom spacious condo. Dan was paying for his brother and managing his own expenses. Moving in with him meant he would get help with the rent. I was sharing an apartment with my colleague back then.

It was far from Dan's place. It wasn't cheap either. Commuting was a problem for us. I was in love and after knowing him for six months, moving in with Dan made sense to me. It was a smooth stay until I started missing my stuff and money for. my wallet and my closet. It started with money. I didn't notice it for a long time. It was a few cents which went missing from time to time. I'll tell you I'm an extremely forgetful person. It is to such an extent that I write down all my passwords in a diary. I forget to respond to

people for many days and wonder if I've something to do but just can't place my finger on what. Anyways, it was a few cents initially and then a few dollars. It wasn't happening every day. It wasn't happening day so I wasn't keeping a tab on my accounting. I thought I was not being calculative amount my money. During the same time, I found my stuff missing from my closet. Earlier, it was just small makeup items. I didn't bother. I thought I was misplacing it at work. Eventually, I realized all the missing items were either in used or slightly used. I told Dan about it and he thought I had forgotten it at my office or someone was stealing it from my bag at the office or at parties. Clearly, there was no reason to hunch that it was being stolen from the house. The house had two

mails and no one came home. My friends occasionally showed up but doubting them didn't make any sense. I made up a theory that someone was stealing at my workplace. Soon I got careful about my stuff. Once I bought a new perfume bottle and kept it inside the closet mindfully. Two days later it was missing. That was it. I knew it had to be home. My stuff was getting misplaced from home and who else than Brand could do it. I wanted to tell Dan about it, but the matter was so petty that I didn't want to confront it without evidence. So I placed a camera in my room facing the closet. That's where all the stuff went missing. I told Dan I needed to find out. I knew it was his brother stealing the stuff, but I told Dan that I felt my friend was doing so and I wanted to catch her red-handed.

Dan didn't like the idea of placing a camera in our private space, but the camera angle didn't cover our bed so he was good. I think he was also done with my constant nagging over losing my money and belongings, so he was like, let's get over it. I bought the camera, installed it, and then invited my friends over on a weekend. While Dan was keeping an eye on my friend, I knew who the culprit was. My friends got smashed and crashed at my place. Eventually, I and Dan also crashed on the living room couch.

There was no place in the house. Dan's friends had also come over and three of them occupied our bedroom. I know it sounds crazy but we were in our mid-20s and this is how we used to party back then. Not sure about the Jen's generation but house parties for us meant 10 plus people getting smashed and crashing up on a friend's couch. The next morning when we reviewed the recordings, we found several of our items were getting stolen and it was indeed my current bill, Brand pulling this off. He took that opportunity to be a jackpot because there were so many people around to put the blame on. My new dress, an expensive clutch, some in used perfume bottles, and a few dollars were on the list of missing items. I was glad to put on a camera and Dan saw the truth about his brother. Dan called and confronted him.

Instead of being apologetic, that dude called me B-T-C-H for recording him. I wanted to slap him and knock out his eyeballs, but I stood calm seeing what Dan would do. It was almost one year of our relationship and we both were pretty serious about each other. I wanted to test Dan on how he handled such a sensitive issue. Dan slapped him hard for abusing me and asked him to apologize. Bran was such an entitled monster that instead of being sorry, he blamed me for invading their privacy and intruding on their life. Both these brothers shared a good bond and Bran felt I had come in between them. He did all these to chase me off. He said he deliberately did that

and wasn't afraid to be caught. He was so sure that Dan would choose his side over me and that's how he'll show my place. Dan threw him out of his house after that. I opted to move out. I mean Bran was his brother and I was merely a GF of a few months. We've known each other for barely a year. Dan said it wasn't about how long, it was just about right and wrong and Bran was clearly the one who wronged me. That was it. It strengthened our bond and inculcated trust in our relationship. Dan's parents tried to convince him to take in his brother, but he was adamant about not letting him in again. Fast forward to this day, Bran has lost his job in the pandemic and cannot manage his basic expenses. He wants us to take him in. We live in a three-bedroom house

with two kids. There is one extra room because the kids share one room. It's just a matter of a couple of years when both would meet a separate room. Bill has a wife and a five-year-old son. He is insisting that we let him in our extra room and his son in our kids' room. The kid's room is not spacious for three. I also don't want his kids to be with mine. He is one of the most spoiled and pampered kids. He has never visited my house, thank God, but I have seen him bringing down my in-law's house. Bill and his wife don't even school him. Forget about schooling, they don't even try to stop him. I don't want such a kid at my house.

When Bill first approached my husband, he turned him down. Then Bill brought Mill to convince my husband. Bill is using his sob story to gain sympathy and get an entry into our house. He was in retail. With the pandemic hitting, retail suffered and he lost his job. He survived on his savings for a year. When the condition subsided, he interviewed for other jobs, but then the next wave popped up and the retail industry got completely shut again. Now he wants us to take him in.

Initially, my husband had turned down the request but with my mill's entry into the dynamics, I feel my husband is going to change his mind. It's just not about the past, even after 12 years of my marriage to this. family, I'm still not on good terms with Bill and his family. I won't comment about Bill's wife because we have had very limited interaction but Bill has been an evil with me in the past and his son is also one pampered kid. I really don't know how to dodge this situation. Update 1, answering some of the common questions from the last post. Where was the bill all these while after he was evicted by my husband from the apartment? After leaving my husband's apartment, he moved to his college dorm.

He was in limited contact with my husband and not at all connected with me until my husband announced his decision to marry me. Bill was the first one to raise his eyebrows. He even bad-mouthed about me to my in-laws. He told them I was controlling and dominating. He continued doing so even after the wedding. He was invited to the wedding because the event was organized in a way that all my sisters and friends would be bridesmaids and all of my husband's brothers and friends would be.

be groomsman. In that setup, it was almost impossible to cut off brand from the wedding. So, I kind of agreed to let him into our wedding. He maintained distance from me and so did I that was it. Did he invite us to his wedding? No, he did the courthouse wedding, and no one from the family was invited except for my parents-in-law. It was a small and swift wedding, at least that was the reason given to all of us for no invitation. But as per the gossip mongers of the family, The actual reason was that Bill married on a tight budget, he doesn't make enough and his wife doesn't work. She still doesn't work and all the responsibility falls on Bill. The update is, after my mill got involved, things got complicated.

She has been pestering my husband to let Bill live with us. My husband tried to ignore it a few times, but ultimately he fell prey to the emotional trap of helping the younger brother and standing up for family pleas. husband came to me and said that in-laws were pestering him to the point that it was becoming difficult for him to turn them down. He asked if there's any possibility I would agree to let Bran into our house. He was scared of the past. I asked him do we know how long he's going to stay with us because honestly, no one knows when this pandemic thing is going to end and if he's going to pay for the groceries and other bills. We can ignore the house rent, it won't increase with their addition. But other bills would.

I asked my husband if we have enough to feed an extra three people. He said no. I made him understand we cannot let Bill's son starve while feeding our own children just because his father doesn't earn or how we split the groceries in the same kitchen. I work while Bill's wife doesn't and I cannot keep an eye on her if she is using my stuff in the kitchen. Letting him and was not only about our privacy or our past bitterness, but also practicality. We need to straighten out these things before taking any decision. husband knew that I was not ready for this, but he was also aware that my concerns were genuine. He said next time Bill or Mill would call him, he would discuss all these matters with them and see what they have to offer.

I just hope my husband makes a mindful decision and doesn't pile up an extra load on himself. Though we both are working and with God's grace still have the job we don't know until when. There is so much uncertainty with this new variant of virus popping up every now and then. We need to save for the rainy days. In this situation, we cannot afford to take extra burden on ourselves and especially of those people who never loved and respected us. There's also one more thing that I didn't tell my husband yet, but if such a situation arises, I will bring this up. My parents-in-law live in a spacious two-bedroom house with an extra room used to store discarded items. They can adjust in one room and let Bill and his wife take another the storehouse can be converted into a kid's den.

If Mill is so concerned about Bill, she can well offer to let them stay with her. Isn't this a hypocrisy? Update 2. Yeah, so my husband discussed all those concerns with Bill and my dread was also true. Bill doesn't intend to pay us for any of the household bills. He says he cannot afford to. I don't know how he has been managing to feed his family until now. Bill was like you guys still have a job and both of you earn.

Can't you take care of our expenses for a few months? It was so spineless of him to say this. We do earn but it doesn't mean we are obliged to bear their expenses. It wasn't even a request anymore. More like an entitlement and order. My husband said we are not in a position to bear the expenses of three extra people. A day later Mill called up my husband and said we needed to sort this out. Bill is in serious crisis and as a family, we should help him.

She suggested that we can agree on a middle ground. She added Bill to the call to sort out the matter. She said that we let them in and they'll take care of themselves. Though Bill tried to object, Mill shut him up and said, first get in the house and then we'll figure it out. Her statement was suspicious and shady. I was listening to the conversation thoroughly. Told my husband that there's no way we can let them in because their intentions don't look good.

husband placed the call on mute to discuss the details with me. Bill thought husband had hung up and he started cussing me. He told Mill that I was the manipulated B-T-C-H who was not letting my husband help him. He was like, I told you, Mom, she has always been a control freak and she's using Dan as a puppet. She has always done that. She never liked my closeness with Dan. She manipulated Dan to throw me out of the apartment falsely accusing me of stealing. Husband heard all of it and so did I. There was nothing left to be considered. Husband unmuted the call and said he heard everything and there's no way he's going to have

him here at our place. After my husband hung up the call, Mill called me separately and she was like, what did you gain by troubling my son? He's already in so much problem and you're adding to it. What would happen if you just let him in your spare room? They are not robbers to get away with your food. food and stuff. I was baffled. After hearing Bill cursing me, she was still hoping that I would help him. She didn't stop him from using the B word for me. I lost my composure. I said if she was so moved by

his son's misery, why doesn't she let him in their house? They also have an extra room and a storehouse. What's the problem in having them? She didn't see that coming. After fumbling for a moment, she said that Phil was an old man and gets headaches with noise. Bill has a five-year-old boy and Phil would be disturbed by his chaos. The truth came out. She knows how monster of a child Bill's son was and she doesn't want to have him around. What a hypocrisy. She can't bear to have her grandchild around but expects me to tolerate his mischief. I told her all of this and she started fuming. She said I was just assuming things and accusing her of something which is not true. She didn't volunteer just because of Phil, that old man gets anxious with any minor chaos.

He is in his 80s and wants a peaceful life. I said everyone is entitled to a peaceful life at least in their own house and she was trying to rip us off that piece. She suggested that maybe it could be an opportunity for Bill's son to learn some manners and discipline from my children. I said, what if my children get influenced otherwise? You know, children pick up bad things more easily than good stuff. When she no longer could argue with me, she was like, Bran was right, you're indeed manipulative and strong-headed. No wonder my son cannot make any decision of his own.

You're so dominant. I said maybe he listens to me because I speak logic and not nonsense like you guys. She hung up cursing me. I told my husband the details about the call. He asked me not to think a lot about this. We have made up our minds and we're not going to let them in and ruin our peaceful life. I just wish he stays strong in his decision and doesn't cave into their pressure. Update 3. I got a call from Bill's wife after a week of what happened last.

She was very polite and gentle in her greetings. No, it didn't sound pretentious. For some reason, she sounded. genuine. Maybe she was genuine. She told me that she knows everything that had been happening around. I kind of got embarrassed that I denied them entry to my house. Yet she was so polite but remained stiff. She said, I understand your concern and I don't want to burden you but the thing is we really help. They have exhausted all their savings covering the basic needs of house rent and other necessities. She also told me that she has also taken up a job at a restaurant to survive. I didn't

ask what kind of job it was. She isn't a chef so I'm guessing it would be at the counter, makes me wonder about the pay. She said she has been asking Bill to take up whatever job is available in the market currently, but he says he cannot do odd jobs. He prefers to remain jobless and pile up on others instead of taking any other job. That was ridiculous. I won't deny that. I won't deny that. I I melted to hear her misery. But she told me that she doesn't want such a favor from us because Bill would become more careless if he gets served free without lifting his finger.

I sighed in relief. Because after such intense conversation, it would have been difficult for me to turn her down. She said she wanted to borrow some money from me and she would return it in installments. She said that the apartment in which they were living was up for lease at a discounted price due to the pandemic crisis on retail property.

She wanted to lease the house to be able to save up the monthly rent. The deal made sense but she didn't have an aggregated amount. I said I could not commit right away. I needed to discuss this with my husband. She requested that we keep it confined within ourselves. She said Bill was furious at me and would rebuke her for asking for favors from me. She said that though we never got a chance to bond she felt a warmth from me and thought I would be helpful. I assured her that I would keep it within ourselves and would get back to her after discussing this with my husband.

I discussed that with my husband. The first thing Dan asked me was, do I believe her? He said it's risky. It might be possible that Bran was using her to get money from us because now that he has fought with us, there's no way we're going to help him. He made sense. Could be possible that I was getting tricked into it? So, I just dropped the idea. I was hoping that she would follow up like Bill used to do for the house, but weeks past, she didn't call or text me.

Guilty of admitting but I almost forgot about this amidst work and kids. One day, I was mindlessly scrolling the social media when I remember about this. I texted her asking if she was able to manage the money for the lease. She replied no. I apologized to her. I was about to text that I forgot about responding to her. But she responded that she understood. that she cannot expect any favor from me after what Bill had done to us. That's the reason she

didn't follow up. I felt an eerie sensation passing down my spine. I felt so terrible. I called her and apologized. She said it was fine and didn't request for the money. She was still polite and gentle. I asked for her account details to make the transfer. She refused saying it was fine, but I insisted. She said that they were due to vacate the house in the next few days and she wasn't sure if the owner had leased it out to someone else. I asked her to check ASAP. She was still reluctant, but I assured her that I trust her and was ready to lend. She said okay and hung up. She called me back after some time and said it was still available and at a slightly cheaper rate because the owner was not getting any takers due to the COVID crisis.

I was so relieved. I made the transfer and asked her to finalize the deal with the property owner. This time I didn't even discuss this with my husband. I was so sure to help her out. After the paperwork was done, she called me again, thanking and assuring me that she would repay it in installments. I asked her what did she say to Bill. She had told him that she had borrowed the money from her employer and the money would be

deducted from her salary every month. She said if she tells my name, Bill would refuse to pay. I asked her what was their plan after vacating the house. She said she was planning to move with her mom to the suburbs. It was quite far off from the city and her workplace, but she had no other options. Also, there was not enough space for three, but her mom had still agreed to have them. However, Bill was not ready to move in there. He was trying to negotiate with Mill to let them in, but Mill was not agreeing. I wanted to ask how her son is so pampered and and doesn't listen to anyone.

But before I could ask, she told me that Bill had spoiled the kid to the extent that he didn't even listen to her. He doesn't let her discipline him and if she ever tries to school him, he bashes her. I wanted to ask her why she even married that bum, why still hasn't divorced him yet. But that was too personal and I didn't want to hurt her. I feel he was the one not letting her work until now and now that she's earning. It's just a matter of time before she's going to kick him out. She told me that she would be leasing the house in her name.

I feel that's her plan. I'll be glad to know when she gets rid of him. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling passed away at 14 and my parent covertly laid her remains in a hidden location without informing us, then deceived us for four years claiming that they were encased in our pendants. My mother and father divorced when I was young. They had an oops baby together after my mom remarried, which rocked that marriage apart. That oops baby was my little sister.

She died abruptly in an accident four years ago at only 14. You know how people say the firsts after a death are the hardest. They don't account for when there's no first to be had. When they should have been getting ready for prom but never will, it's a completely different pain. My mom and I were talking about it, we were both drinking, and she slipped that my bit of ashes I carry that I thought were my sisters were just regular ashes. burnt wood. She already poured out my sister's ashes without me or my brother in the plot she bought

with my stepdad. She couldn't fathom my rage because to her, the sentiment and emotions are the important aspects, not that it's physically my sister. My anger is prompted by the lies and the fact those sentiments and emotions are attached to something not my little sister, and I had no idea she cast her ashes on a plot she wouldn't have cared about. I screamed at her to get out of my house, locking the door behind her and calling up my stepdad to pick her up. I threw the necklace out the window to the front lawn, then regretted it and tore it out of her hands when she picked it up. As she would say it, I made a scene and embarrassed her. I kept screaming and calling her a liar whenever she tried to explain herself or get back inside. I was threatening to call the cops on her

when my stepdad finally showed up and took her away. He called me the next day and left a message saying that he wanted to talk about what happened and how he understands why I'm angry and hurt, he just wants to talk. But I need to talk to my mother too about this because she's a grieving mother, emphasis is, and my sister's death was a huge blow to the entire family and everyone is trying to regain our bearing still so some kindness is needed. All I can think of right now is my mom's heartbroken face as I ripped my necklace with my sister's ashes out of her hands, or the way she turned away from me crying as my stepdad ushered her into the car. I called her names, I let my pain and rage take over me. But I can't get over the lies. For years of thinking

my necklace had my sister, of thinking she was right by my heart, and it all came undone because my mom had too much to drink. How long would she have let me think this? How long would the lie continue? Comments. Sent her off chaos, yeah, your mother is grieving. But you, her very living child, R2. Having your mother lie to you about something important is going to get an emotional reaction. What you do is up to you. But I wouldn't let her frame this as embarrassing her or that she's a victim in any way. She lied about it, she got drunk and tattled on herself. These are the consequences of her own actions. The ass crack bandit. The mom thought that was going to be a cute little anecdote. WTF kind a person does that kind of stuff. Casually just drops a bomb.

It was an absolute mistake on her part that she even said it. We were talking about prom season and how hard it can be to be reminded of things that my sister would have loved. Then she started to say I start crying before I even reached the cemetery sometimes and she named it by name. I started flipping then and was like what cemetery? Why that cemetery? In a sort of Why are we talking about cemeteries when we're talking about her way? I kept pushing her for an explanation and that's when the whole thing came out. Update, I gave my mother an ultimatum of either telling my brother and father, or I will. She refused to, because you reacted so horribly.

And she told me not to tell because you're doing this to hurt me and you're just going to hurt them. So I told them. I sat my dad and brother down and explained that the necklaces didn't have the right ashes in them. I've never seen my dad break like that, and I've never heard my brother scream at me like that. He was angry that I knew before him and didn't immediately tell because this is shit you tell me, you needed to tell me, we tell each other everything. But he started crying and apologizing to me, admitting he's just so mad about what mom did and he can't handle it. So I guess that's clearly something else me and my brother share.

We get overwhelmed initially before cooler heads prevail. My dad looked gutted, but he was clearly trying to piece himself back together. He said a lot of the same other people had said to me on my other post, we can get some of the dirt from the plot where she was scattered. The necklace has the meaning we attribute to it and she's still with us even if her body hasn't been physically with us. I feel bad because some of it my mom said, either bit about the necklace being important even without her ashes in it,

but I was able to accept that much easier from him. maybe because he didn't lie to me for four years and drop a bomb on me out of nowhere because I pulled apart a lie. He held my brother and I as we cried, and he apologized for the pain, and he said it wasn't fair that I had to be the adult when my mother should have told all of us a lot sooner. Dad's going to try to talk to my stepfather to find the plot because my mom has been refusing to talk to us anymore, not answering messages or picking up the phone. Her social media has even gone dark. He's going to find out where the plot is and go to the site. I don't know if I could if it were up to me. It just feels like the final bit of proof that this fucked up nightmare is real and my

sister is mixed with dirt and rocks and grass of an unmaintained and unvisited plot. My mom and I always had some issues, but that's normal. This is worse than anything, and we had a rough patch when I came out that we didn't even talk, but we mended fences after. I can't see ever forgiving her, not with how she dropped this on me, blamed me for my reaction, and left me to do what she should have done. To top it off, she won't even show the decency to explain why or even talk to me. When we were discussing cremation, it was agreed we would all get a necklace with the ashes. My mind keeps going over things that just didn't add up fully, times she almost slipped or things that make complete sense now. She almost left behind her necklace on a trip and didn't freak out

like I would have, because she knew where my sister was the whole time. She volunteered to be the one to separate the ashes and gave Dad the rest. I assume those ashes are the same as ours, fake. God, this whole thing just makes me want to curl up in a hole and never see the light of day again. I've been on and off crying all week without being able to stop, or just so angry I could scream. In the middle of my damn work day and suddenly I'm rushing to the bathroom to hide the fact I'm breaking all over again because I can't stop my thoughts. I quit smoking after my sister died, but I picked it right back up again. My dad has been calling me every day to check in on me and remind me of how much he loves me and how much my brother loves me. I think he's afraid. My brother has come over

each day since the talk with his girlfriend to make sure I eat something. I don't know how to win this post. I feel lost and like I don't know anything anymore. I feel like a burden because my dad and brother are both dealing with the revelation too, but they're clearly thinking of me and checking in on me. I'm going to look into grief counseling, but the therapist I saw after my sister died isn't practicing anymore and my insurance isn't accepted by a lot of therapists. I try to remind myself that my little sister wouldn't have minded so much becoming woven into a tapestry of grass and flowers, and that I can visit her once we know where she was cast and make sure her sight is always beautiful. Thank you to everyone that helped me and shared their own perspectives and stories.

I really appreciate it. Comments, M-Apostrophe S underscore plapp. You mentioned she said the cemetery's name when she tattled on herself? Can you call and ask about the plot? It's probably under your mother's or your sister's name. Then you can visit and not have to go through your mother at all. Op, it's my mother and stepfather's plot. If trying through my stepfather fails, I'll try that. I didn't think I could just call up and say is there an empty plot section for the So and So Family but it's worth trying. Family Guy 421, I am head of a cemetery commission. Just call them up. We don't care about drama, just information. The best of luck to you. Op, thank you so much. That means a lot. This has probably been the worst month of my life in years.

Sorry to the mod for so many posts. Edit, I tried find a grave and she's not there. Same for my mother and stepdad. I'm going to start with the minor stuff that's been happening or whatever because my head just feels like a brick. I got a promotion I'd been aiming for before everything. My boss did tell me I had already got it before this all happened and it was held off on announcing so I could have time to process

before I had to adjust to the new job requirements. I couldn't even feel proud. I know a month ago I would have, but I feel numb. I'm working a lot more hours now than normal, usually about 6 a.m. to 7 p.m., give or take. Paycheck looks nice, I guess. My dad keeps telling me I need to work less, so does my brother, but my job is one that engages my mind enough that I'm nearly brain dead by the time I'm home, which is nice. I'm non-binary and prefer they slash them pronouns, but she slash her are not offensive.

realized belatedly that people were calling me that. I started drinking more than usual. After blacking out one night I let my dad take it all and I haven't bought more. I don't think I've ever gotten blackout before so it's terrifying to hear about the night but have barely any recollection of it. About my sister, my mother finally responded to my brother, and according to him she was a wreck. All tears. All apologies. All you have to understand. There must be something wrong with me because I look at her and I want to hurt her.

I want to break her heart. I want to make a spectacle of her disgusting behavior. I want to ruin her life. I think part of me recognizes that's why I'm not so overly cautious about details, but at the same time I can't do it. The rational part of my mind kicks in and I realize that it wouldn't do anything but make it worse. I just feel guilty and sick after the brief moment of satisfaction. But then I think to myself, so how and why could you do that to us? For years? Her and my brother had a much better relationship than her and I ever did.

She still did that to him. Like yeah, Dad and her never got better after the divorce, and after the affair they struggled with even co-parenting for a multitude of reasons. Her and I have had our issues. But the bond between her and my brother has always been strong, or at least used to be, and she did it to him of all people. She tried telling my brother that she did it impulsively, in a fit of peak, but when he pressured her about why she was the one to volunteer to handle filling the necklaces, she said that it was because she was okay with it at first, but then when she saw the ashes, she didn't want to destroy her further.

Her word, there, destroyed. Like the relationship between her living children? Like our trust in her? Like the memorial we agreed upon for my sister? I don't know how to feel, if I even trust her story. But her wording makes me feel like it was planned. God yet again it becomes an accidental revelation, where she tried to uphold a lie but got caught and that's how the truth came to light.

I managed to talk to the funeral director. My sister's fingerprints are part of their records. I'm going to get her touched tattooed. But I found a means of getting that on a necklace so my brother and dad can have that if they don't want a tattoo. Still struggling to get in contact with the owners of the cemetery. A lot of unanswered emails and voicemails. I've also been looking for therapists and counselors in my area, or ones doing telehealth. I have an appointment upcoming, but I'm nervous.

My stepfather has stepped back. He set a boundary that he won't talk to us until we agree to discuss this without blaming anyone and any time the conversation starts going toward asking about motive or who knew what and when. he says the conversation needs to end. He's even hung up on us before and threatened the cops on me, even implying it'd be deserved after I did the same to my mother. I wish I could give good news but there's not been much and I haven't had much time besides working. I'm just going to keep on doing whatever this is so long as there's not a problem.

I went to therapy. I tried a few sessions and I'm so grateful she worked with me to get me on her books, but she wasn't helpful for me. I wasn't clicking with her and I felt unheard. I'm still on the hunt for a therapist. I feel very entitled saying that. My father is not as well as he wants to pretend. He is so focused on fixing this for us that he has to have lost sight of himself.

I hate seeing him like this. My brother is angry. I have never in my life seen him so mad or heard him say such horrific things about our mother and stepfather. We are all just existing, it seems. My brother tried the plot hack idea. The cemetery is full. They're not accepting new burials. I tried as well and couldn't get even the plot numbers.

I got so angry I was crying. I didn't take it out on them, as it's not the cemetery's fault I can't manage my emotions, but it was absolutely crushing to come across yet another block. Our mother still won't really talk to me, with one choice. exception event, and even my brother is touch and go in conversation with her. She's so quick to shut everything down. The exception is this, my mother offered to let me purchase the plot from her. She said I can share it with my brother and this way we can be buried together where our sister is. She phrased it like she was giving me some sort of peace offering, or paying me a favor.

All total costs together, the liner, the plot, the headstone, the permits, because our state requires one for such sales, the care, will be over $9,500. Her and my stepfather are willing to forego the cost of the headstone to make it easier for my brother and I, to make up for us not being there for the scattering. No mention about how Dad wasn't there either. No true sorry, just what amounts to if you want access to your sister, pay me for the privilege. I want to say she doesn't intend it this way.

I want to agree with my stepfather that this is her attempt to reconcile so I should meet her halfway. I can't keep doing this. I want to put this behind me somehow. I want to forget about the plot. I want to forget about my mother entirely. It feels like it would be easier to completely cut her out, make peace with what I have of my sister, and never, ever think of my mother again. I feel like a horrible child thinking that way, and my stepfather's attitude doesn't help that feeling. I tried explaining I just want some of the dirt from the plot for part of a memorial but my stepdad started threatening to sell it back to the cemetery because clearly nothing else will satisfy you. My brother and I are an agreement that it's a baseless threat especially if they really did cast her ashes there,

because our mother would never do that and then separate from the plot. We both know even if we buy it from her, she'll visit our sister still. I can't help the niggling concern that she did something else with the ashes than we think and what she's let on, like that the cemetery is unrelated and she was somehow clever enough to keep up or think up a convoluted lie when drunk. I keep looking at my bank account. My brother doesn't want to buy it offer, I don't think, but he's also still furious at the offer so I don't want to say he doesn't. He means, well, I think, but any time I try to broach the offer, he starts in about how we're making our own memorial and that her offer is needlessly cruel, so I shouldn't entertain it. I could

afford it if I shuffled some bills around and worked more. Almost for peace of mind, yes, and take the offer. She gave me a deadline. I still have a bit of time, but it doesn't feel like enough. My dad has taken over trying to figure out the legalities of this situation, what he can do to force her hand to share where the plot is or what he can do to make things better. He's fit to be tied. He's doing what he can, looking into what legal avenues we can pursue and what can be done to force her to give the location.

It seems like we don't have many options. It doesn't feel right or fair. He keeps saying what my brother has said, trying to reassure me, but I can't not think of it. I'm not sleeping much these days. I think the only thing going well in my life is my work and I still haven't had anything to drink. I think maybe the next option we can try would be letting the cemetery know ashes were illegally spread on their grounds, but what will they do in response? I know I'm being paranoid and catastrophizing when I fear that they'll do something to clean my sister from the plot, or take it away from my mother and I won't be able to access it.

So I guess the update as everything is as fucked up as it has been since that stupid night with my mother. I do want to address the outpouring of support everyone here has given me. It has meant the world to me and given me a place of stability and external perspective where my current life is far too close to provide that. Thank you all. Comments The Lake are the first, I'm so sorry. Your mother is awful.

And you're not going to get closure if you buy the plot from her. Because your mother is going to find other ways to torture you. You are not a bad child for wanting to cut off contact with her. If you were a bad child, you feel gleeful about doing it. I don't think your relationship with your mother is salvageable. And I think she's a horrible person for doing this to you and your brother. And yes, she is forcing you to pay for the privilege of knowing where she states she scattered the ashes.

I don't think she did it there. I think she is seriously mentally ill and after you purchase it from her, she will come up with another story of what she did with the ashes. I want to tell you something that helped me. And I don't know if this will help you. But all matter goes back into the universe. And every breath you take, every gaze at the stars or the sky, you're seeing your sister. Your sister is all around you. Where her ashes are.

It's not her. Your mother is forcing you to go through the second. second loss. But every time you feel that calming breeze, every time you see that twinkling star, every tickle of pollen in your nose, start to think of that as your sister. I'm an atheist, so I'm not trying to say anything paranormal or supernatural. What I'm saying is her matter, the essence of who she was, never left. You cannot destroy matter. So she is around you. She's just around you as carbon and hydrogen and helium and oxygen and all the other elements. I wish all the best for you.

A lot of me recognizes that it is pure symbolism at this point. Maybe even before then. But it aches and I struggle to deal with that. Maybe the next therapist I try will help with that. No requirement 2420. How did my you go getting the necklaces of her fingerprint made? That was a lovely idea. Have you tried alternatives to getting your hands on some of her remains slash dirt?

A memorial that is symbolic instead of physical remains? Maybe a butterfly release? Does your mother know that if she continues on this path that she still lose all her remaining children? Try and take one day at a time and one thing at a time. You need to take care of you too. Op, the funeral home still hasn't given me her prince yet. I don't want to pressure. Part of me recognizes it's been some weeks.

Another part feels like it was yesterday, and I am almost frightened to pressure them. Because what if they react the way my mother did? The worst part is knowing you are being irrational but not being able to not be irrational. I hope you enjoy this story. Harmful mother and sibling persuaded my spouse to take our funds for her extravagant fantasy trip. I found out about his infidelity with them both and now they're uniting against me. Hello, everyone. You can all call me op, 36F.

I have found myself in quite a difficulty. I could desperately use any advice or support right now. My entire marriage and family has crumbled from the inside out. There's a lot of history I need to go over, so please bear with me. This is going to be a lengthy post. My entitled Sister Laura, 33F, and my overbearing and demeaning mom, 64F, have always been a thorn in my side. But for the sake of the peace of the family, I've always done my best to put up with it. I was never physically abused, so I have that going for me at least, but Laura and mom are almost what I'd call toxic twins who have inflicted a lot of emotional turmoil upon me.

They are just two peas in a pod, and I've always been the odd person out. Since I was the eldest sibling, Laura was pampered and showered with attention while I was often left to fend for myself. I'm so different from these two, I sometimes question if I'm even from the same family. It didn't help that our father died in a boating accident when I was a little girl, and mom did not handle it well at all. I do not begrudge her for the grief she felt, as the whole family was feeling it as well, but I do resent Mom for how she chose to handle things. Mom started drinking too much and popping pills and it started bringing out the worst in her. My childhood and teenage years were an emotional roller coaster, and I carry a lot of traumas from

these events to this day. It seemed like Laura had it easier. than I did in every way. She always had the best birthday parties, the best birthday presents, the best of everything. It used to drive me crazy. However, it's not so black and white. I've had good times with Laura and mom, but they are just too emotionally draining for me. They are always in some sort of drama. Their lives seem to be in a continuous state of disorder. So, while I have remained present in their lives, I often find myself requiring at least. least some emotional distance, so I don't get too sucked into their drama. Yet time and time again it seems like I keep getting roped in. It's almost like Laura and mom are tornadoes of drama.

Until today, and the events that have rocked the foundations of my world, I at least considered my husband Billy 32M, a source of comfort, my rock amidst the chaos of the world. For all his faults, of which there are indeed many, he has remained something of a relief throughout dealing with all of Laura and Mom's behavioral irregularities. I know Mom is quite a bit to be blamed for when it comes to how Laura turned out in life, but Laura's 33 years old now, so she's a grown woman who is responsible for her actions no matter how much sympathy I try to have for her. She takes heavily from Mom when it comes to her tendency towards poor decisions and staying

in a world of self-imposed drama. She's only three years younger than me, yet she's somehow gone through three husbands and just divorced her fourth husband, someone who struck me at a woman. as a truly nice person named Scoop, 36M. I know it's in bad form to talk this way about your own sister's husband, but since they divorced, I don't mind admitting he seemed like quite a catch. He was handsome and charming, and seemed like far too nice of a person to be married to a selfish entitled clown like my sister Laura.

He was always doing nice things for her, and Laura and Mom were always talking about him behind his back and bad-mouthing him. Laura had the nerve to cheat on Scoop, just as she had to be. has been unfaithful to all her previous husbands, and just about every man she's dated as well. That's the type of person Laurel is. She just looks out for number one, and the number one in her mind is her. She thinks the planet simply orbits around her every whim. It's ridiculous. Laura sadly inherited Mom's love of drugs and alcohol at a young age, and this has had a severe impact on her behavior towards others as well. Don't get me wrong, people are often sympathetic

addicts and wish all drug addicts to get the help they need, but I fear someone like Laura simply does not have it in her to take accountability and responsibility for her actions. I fear she will never get the help she truly needs, because she does not have a desire nor a motivation to change her wicked ways. Due to Laura's love of drugs and alcohol, as well as her tendency to get the short end of the financial stick when it comes to divorce due to her obvious infidelities, she has spent most of her life living in her childhood bedroom at mom's house. Sometimes she will spend some time rooming with me at my apartment and taking advantage of my friendliness and compassion when Laura and mom have a booze-fueled fight, but I have unfortunately been forced to set boundaries with her and ban her from spending too much time at my apartment, in case it turns into a booze-soaked mess. Well, Laura has been quite inconsolable after her recent divorce from Scoop.

Not that I excuse laughing at the pain of others, but I must admit, the situation is a bit funny to me. She cheated on Scoop, ruined her marriage completely on her own, and now she has spent the last couple of months moping to anyone and everyone about how Scoop broke her heart. Ha, it's the most ludicrous pile of poop I've ever heard. Well, as most of Laura's problems tend to involve, I somehow was sucked into the whirlpool of this storm. Mom recently called me on the phone. I braced myself for an unpleasant phone call as I always did when I received a call from

mom, but even I was not prepared for the insane statement she was about to put forth. "'Up, your sister Laura is feeling depressed over her divorce,' said mom. "'This was not news to me, of course. It was not news to anybody. So, why did she feel the need to remind me?' Yet I pressed on with a phone call and asked Mom what her point was about all this. That's when Mom dropped a bombshell on me. Op, would you mind paying for Laura's luxury vacation? Laura and I feel it would be in her best interest to send her to Hawaii so she can relax and start

feeling better, said Mom. I did not quite know how to react to such a ridiculous assertion. My first instinct was to burst out laughing at such a ridiculous request, but then I quickly realized Mom was dead serious. She asked me what was so funny. I had to stand up to Mom and tell her the truth. She is not someone who responds well to friendliness. I often must be quite blunt and rude with her to get my point across,

because she is so thick and stubborn. I told Mom point blank I didn't want to spend the money I'd earned with my blood, sweat, and tears on a free vacation for Laura. I reminded her that Billy and I would not even be able to afford our own vacation to Hawaii, let alone a trip for Laura that we would not even be attending ourselves. I'm a server at Outback Steakhouse for crying out, out, loud. I can barely afford a vacation to Dalton, Georgia. Mom started blabbering her usual crap. She called me selfish and accused me of not having any empathy for my sister. My heart was pounding,

and my blood was starting to boil, so I snapped at Mom and told her Laura's divorce was her own fault. Mom got so upset she hung up the phone. I did not call her back. I did not want to hear from this clown. The phone call with Mom was quite unpleasant, but most phone calls with Mom are unpleasant so this particular call did not seem so out of the ordinary. A couple of days went by, and I nearly forgot about the absurd favor Mom had requested of me. That is, until I got home from an exhausting shift at Outback and Billy propositioned me with the same request. Billy had mostly been a good husband and loving partner toward me, but we had our share of bumps in the road just like any couple that's been around the block a while.

One disrespectful trait of Billy that had always annoyed me was the comments he would make about Laura. Look, Laura and Al are sisters, so we definitely share some similarities in the looks department. Billy has often jokingly mentioned how attractive he finds Laura

and has made other suggestive jokes I shall refrain from repeating in this post. I told Billy several times these comments were inappropriate and made me uncomfortable, but time would pass, and he would make another joke again. I put the word joke in quotes because I knew deep down he was not truly making a joke.

In reflection, I should have kicked Billy to the curb before he had a chance to betray me. I asked Billy who or what had put this idea in his head. Why on earth would Billy want us to fund Laura's luxurious vacation to Hawaii? I explained to him that Laura was the one who had sabotage her own marriage with her foul and rotten behavior. Why should we carry the financial bill for her mistakes? I reminded Billy that I worked at Outback Steakhouse, and he worked at GameStop. I felt like I was living in some sort of Twilight Zone. Billy dropped the issue after I gave him enough pushback, although I knew my partner well enough

to know he was for some reason disappointed and unsatisfied by my response. Oh well, I thought to myself. Billy would just have to suck it up and get over it. Well, that was what I thought until the next huge bombshell hit me. This is the true reason I'm writing this post for you all today. I am still having trouble processing what exactly has happened these past few days, but I will do my best to explain it. You see, Billy and I have shared a savings account for the duration of our entire marriage.

I have always taken the savings account quite seriously, only touching the funds within the account in the event of a serious emergency. Billy, on the other hand, was always annoying me to dip into the savings fund and blow the money on playful expenses. He wanted to go to a Pokemon convention, and then he wanted to go to a limp biscuit concert. I essentially had to act like Billy's mother and put my foot down and tell him no as if he were merely a toddler. Well, imagine the betrayal I felt when I woke up yesterday and discovered the vast majority of funds in Billy and I's savings account had been depleted. At first, I was worried that we had been the victim of a cyber attack or some sort of identity

theft, but then I saw the funds had been charged to a resort in Hawaii. My heart started pounding, and I could feel my face turning red. I immediately ran downstairs to confront Billy. When I asked Billy to explain why our savings account had been depleted, he did not lie to me. He did not even seem to feel shame for what he did. He seemed almost proud. He told me point-blank he had been convinced by my mom to give the money so Laura could enjoy her dream vacation in Hawaii. I was so angry I felt like I was going to pass out.

I had to step away and regain composure. All I wanted to do was scream. This was too much of a betrayal for me to handle. I realized I had to put my foot down or these people were going to ruin my life. For years I counted on Billy to be my rock and anchor during my times of need and despair, yet here he was going behind my back to give my hard-earned cash over to Laura so she could go mess around in Hawaii? Not on my watch. I was a dormant my entire life. I'd been abused by my family, but I was fine putting up with it so long as Billy was in my corner. Now it was apparent I had nobody I could truly count on. Once I'd decided that a divorce was the only sensible option left at my disposal, I decided to call someone I'd hoped I'd never have to call. Walter Beaker,

50, M, is one of the most vicious and feared lawyers in my area. It was he who helped Billy and I arrange a prenuptial agreement years ago when we first got married. I knew that if there was anyone out there who could help me get out of this difficulty, it was him. I explained the situation to Walter, and he reassured me that this divorce would be an easy one since Billy had done something so terribly out of order. I immediately felt more relaxed about the situation. Walter suggested the best course of action would be to discuss the violation of the pre-nup agreement in person between all of us, so we could trick Billy before he had a chance to lawyer up and get a plan of action strategized. Since Laura was already sipping pinacoladas in Hawaii and having the time of her life,

I at least wanted Mom to be present so she could witness the destruction and heartache her interfering ways had wreaked upon my life. I called Mom and invited her over to dinner, and I then informed Billy that we would be having dinner at the house with Mom. They both thanked me for being a good sport about Laura's vacation. I just played dumb and acted like Elle agreed with them. I wanted it to be a surprise when the absolute freight train attack of Walter Beaker hit them at dinner tomorrow. I was so nervous I had difficulty sleeping. The next day I purposely made up an excuse for Mom and Billy to leave the house. I secretly asked them both to run to the store to pick up some cooking ingredients for the big meal was preparing.

Since Mom and Billy were both in a good mood because I had paid for Laura's vacation, they happily agreed. That's when I informed Walter Beaker to come over to the house. Oh boy, you all should have seen the looks on Mom and Billy's foul faces when they entered the kitchen and saw Walter Beaker sitting at the kitchen table. Walter was calmly going over the pre-nup agreement. I could tell Billy immediately recognized the document, as he began to shake and squirm. He started tearing up and began crying like a little baby. Walter Beaker was wearing his trademark reading glasses, and we all knew he meant business. I'll spare you the legal details of the discussion that took place, but the conversation ended with Billy sobbing like a child.

Mom was already drunk when she arrived at my apartment, and she tried to interject her thoughts and shift the blame like the foul and immature piece of poop she is. I told them both to get the heck out of my apartment. Although I put on a brave face during the meeting with Walter, I must admit I'm quite depressed over everything that's happened. I could use any advice and support you people are willing to give me. Update 1. Hello. I'll peer with an update for everyone. First, I'd like to thank everyone for the kind and supportive comments received. Some of you were sympathetic. Some of you criticized my behavior and said I allowed this to happen to myself. In some ways, you might be right, but I am learning how

to stand up for myself now. Unfortunately, things just keep getting crazier for me. All day I've been getting calls from family members and friends in the community asking me how I could be so cruel to break Billy's heart like that. I set the record straight with every single one of these people and told them the truth, but it was like they didn't want to listen to me. Clearly, Mom, Billy, and most likely Laura as well have been spreading rumors about me. I live in a small town and rumors spread like wildfire here. What's truly making my blood boil about all this is everyone in my family seems to have gotten the idea that Billy and I, I are divorcing because Lamb having an affair with Walter Beaker. This is ludicrous. I can't believe these people would all sink so low just to badmouth me and stain my reputation.

I have nothing against Walter, but it would be quite unprofessional for a lawyer and client to have a relationship. I just hope this storm passes for me update to Hello, People. I'll peer with yet another update for you all. Thanks again for the support I've received so far. Allow me to cut right to the chase. So, some of you suggested should make a Facebook post about all this crap I've been dealing with, Saul could clear the air with my family and the local community. First, let me explain that I am quite a private person, despite the impression I might be giving in this post. I've always had difficulty discussing my problems with others unless I was totally anonymous,

and I've always been the type to just quietly deal with my problems on my own and I have always been quite protective of my privacy and life. I had not even posted on Facebook in months before this event, but I deemed it necessary to explain my side of the story before my reputation was tarnished even more. There was nothing particularly outrageous about my post. I simply explained that Billy had betrayed the financial trust in our relationship by stealing from me, and I made sure everybody knew it was to fund Laura's trip to Hawaii. I admit, I threw mom under the bus as well in this post. The post got a lot of support from my Facebook friends. However, I received a message from a local law firm telling me I was being sued for defamation of character by Billy and Mom. I could not

believe this. I guess Billy knows he does not have a leg to stand on in this upcoming divorce hearing, so he and his crew of clowns are grasping at any straw they possibly can. I informed Walter Beaker about this nonsense, and he told me to relax, but right now I'm having a lot of trouble doing it. Wish me luck, People Update 3, Hi, Everyone. Up here. I received some more surprising and worrying news today. I don't know what to think about anything anymore. I don't know if Elle ever truly knew the real Billy.

The Billy I thought I knew and thought I loved was perhaps a mere disguise all along. Today, I had a long and revelatory discussion with Laura's ex-husband, Scoop. I was shocked to receive a message from Scoop's and I had not heard much of his comings or going since his divorce from Laura. Scoop said we should meet in person to discuss some important things. I was quite interested by this. I invited Scoop over to my apartment. He looked dashing and handsome.

I had forgotten just how good he looked. He immediately put me at ease and offered his sincere condolences regarding what was going on with my family and Billy. He told me he was willing to testify as a witness against Billy at my divorce hearing. I was initially confused and asked him why he felt like he should do this. As far as I was aware, Scoop hardly knew Billy well at all. Scoop told me that I needed to prepare myself because I was not going to like what I was about to hear. I nearly passed out when he dropped this bombshell on me.

It hit me like a ton of bricks. He told me in no uncertain terms that the reason he was qualified to testify against Billy was because he knew Billy had been having an affair with my mom. He showed me screenshots he had stolen from Billy and Mom's phones months ago, as well as proof in writing from communication with Laura. I could not believe it. Billy was having an affair with Mom, and my sister knew and never even told me. Scoop apologized for not telling me sooner, but he told me he just wanted to get away from Laura as fast as he could and thought he would face consequences if he tried to expose the affair. But I think with Scoop and Walter Beaker on my side, I might have a chance at getting reverexed. on the foul clowns who have tried to ruin my life. I have a lot of details to share with you all.

Wish me luck. Update 4. This is another update for you fine people. I am going to try to keep things brief because there is so much to go over. I had my divorce hearing today. This was the big day, the day I was finally going to get away from Billy forever. Here's how messed up my family is. when I showed up to court, Billy, Mom, and Laura were all on the same team. Meanwhile, I had my lawyer and Laura's ex-husband as my only support in the courtroom.

I felt uneasy, but I pressed on. I knew we had the facts on our side that would rock the world of those foul pieces of crap on the other side of the courtroom. Billy's lawyer immediately began spewing a bunch of lies and nonsense trying to paint me out to be some sort of evil monster. It was a bunch of nonsense. Billy sat there with a smug look on his face like he knew he was getting away with something, and Mom and Laura sat in the stands behind him gloating and grinning inappropriately. I wanted to punch Billy's lawyer in the face, but I kept my cool.

I knew Walter Beaker and Scoop would help me. Once Walter Beaker started his opening statement, I could see the judge's face begin to change already. When Scoop was called to the stand as a witness, a slideshow and projector was brought out for all in the courtroom to see. The proof of Billy's affair with Mom was broadcast for all to see. An eruption of chaos took place in the courtroom at that moment. Billy broke down and flew into a rage, foolishly admitting in the heat of the moment that he had in fact had an affair with Mom because I was not satisfying his needs.

The best part? He also admitted that he had messed around with Laura, my own sister. This hurt me as well, but suddenly the three of them began fighting in the courtroom. It was a glorious thing to behold. Update 5. Hello, everyone. This is going to be my final update. I know it's been a while and I left you guys hanging, but I've been busy finalizing everything with the divorce

and finally living the life I always wanted to live. You see, Billy, Laura, and Mom were all arrested and found in contempt of court after their outburst during the divorce hearing. My divorce was granted without a single issue from the judge, as he could see Billy was clearly a serial cheater. As for that frivolous defamation suit Billy and Mom tried to send my way? It was dismissed without a second thought during a later court date. Walter accompanied me.

Billy and Mom did not even bother to show up for court. As for what I'm doing nowadays, since a lot of you happen to ask, I have moved to another town and got a nice apartment with the true love of my life. That's right, Scoop, and I got engaged. He's all the things for me Billy could never be. Now that I've learned to stand up for myself, I have a partner who truly respects and appreciates me. Thank you all for reading.

I hope you enjoy this story. Unearthed that my spouse of seven years was having an affair with a fresh colleague. Consequently, I sought retribution by distributing evidence to their entire social circle, catching him off guard with divorce documents, and getting him fired. I, 35F, have been married to my husband, 34M, for seven years. We've never really had any problems beyond regular couple issues in our relationship and we were able to establish a really strong foundation of trust by telling each other pretty much everything that is happening in our lives.

If a guy comes up to me and asks for my number at the supermarket, I'd tell him. If a female friend is being really touchy with him, he'll let me know as soon as he gets home. This has been our arrangement for years and it's worked great for both of us. The issue started when I was putting his clothes into the laundry and emptying out the pockets, as all of us should do, not just to prevent money or valuables from being ruined, but because this was what set the entire thing into motion for me. I found a receipt from a relatively fancy restaurant in our area and based on what was ordered, it was clear that it was a dinner for two.

My husband hadn't told me anything about this, so while my first instinct was suspicion, I felt that there must have been an explanation of some sort for it. I confronted him with what I had found, and he actually did have a pretty good explanation for it. My husband is a corporate guy, the kind of person who wears a suit to work every day. His job also calls pretty frequently for him to try and sugar up potential clients, so according to him, that receipt was from a client that he took to dinner to discuss things a bit further with. I asked him why he didn't tell me about it like he usually does, but he said it was simply because it's slipped his mind by the time he got back home, and that the deal wasn't closed in the end.

He didn't seem to have to think much before telling me all of this, so I believed it right away. The only gripe I had with him then was that we hadn't gone to that restaurant together, since we had been wanting to. Anyway, I trusted my husband, as I've said, so I never really thought anything else of what had happened. There really wasn't a reason to just based on seeing a receipt. Things went back to normal pretty quickly after that, and we didn't have issues with each other for quite a few months. However, things boiled up again between us about a month later when a friend of mine called me one evening and said that she bumped into my husband with a woman on his arm. She just happened to be in a part of the city that was a bit far off

and spotted him across the road. I asked her if she was sure it was him but she said she actually crossed the road and spoke to him. When he saw her, he let go of the woman but seemed to act normal beyond that. He didn't seem too flustered, she said. Her only regret was she didn't ask him what he was doing in that part of town and they went their separate ways soon after. Right before they turned the corner, she saw the woman clasp onto his arm again. At this point, all the alarms in my head started to blare. I thought briefly about the receipt I had found in his pocket, but honestly, I didn't make too much of a connection because it still could have been a business dinner. But this on its own was enough for him to have a lot of explaining to do. As soon as he got back home, which was

around 11 p.m., he could tell that something was off with my mood and he asked me what was wrong right away. Considering my friend hadn't hidden herself, I think he already knew what it was about, but he waited for me to say it. When I told him and asked him to explain himself, he just chuckled and shook his head lightly. According to him, that woman was one of his co-workers and there was nothing going on between them. They had gone for a business. dinner with some clients that the company was trying to get on board, so about four people from his company had attended with him. The female co-worker that my friends saw had too much to drink and that was why she was supporting herself on him. Here's the thing, I realized that my husband had

time to think of a story because he knew my friend would have told me, but for some reason, I believed him. Maybe it was because I had always trusted him or because I was in denial and I didn't want the mess that would come about from this being what I hoped it wasn't. But it was so easy for me to believe him and that was what I chose to do. He even hugged me afterward, saying that he would have told my friend if she had asked so that I wouldn't have had to worry myself. He apologized for stressing me out and told me that I really had nothing to worry about. That he was mine and mine alone. At that point, all my suspicions dissolved. At this point, things went fine for about six months straight. No accounts of anyone seeing him traipsing around town with women, no stray and

unexplained receipts in suit pockets. Things seemed normal and I honestly didn't find myself dwelling on whether my husband was cheating on me or not. However, this peace of mind really only lasted that long, and it was after the third event that everything started to crumble. My husband came back home pretty late one night. It was nearly midnight, and he had texted me at some point during the night that he was doing the usual whining and dining for one of the clients that his company was trying to win over. Again, it wasn't the first. time in the six-month period, so I didn't think too much of it. He came back, a little tipsy, and it was when I went in to hug him that I smelt what was distinctly feminine perfume. I immediately

asked him why he smelled like a woman's perfume, but I tell you that this man told me straight to my face that it was his usual perfume. He's been wearing the same Tom Ford fragrance to work for the last two years, so I don't think it is ridiculous for me to be able to tell when he smells like something different. I told him it was a different fragrance, but he's been a different fragrance, but he only maintained that it was his usual scent and he told me I was acting delusional, which was an out-of-character thing for him to say to me. He gently pushed past me and went upstairs. I think this was the first time that I really knew something was wrong, because I started to feel like I was being gaslight. It was then that the thing with the receipt and what my friend had seen

came back to me, and suddenly, I was extremely suspicious. I was halfway up the stairs, wanting to confront him, but I actually realized that he would probably gaslight me again until I felt like I was losing my mind or being an emotional woman or something. I still went upstairs, though, because I knew he was in the shower. He had undressed, with his clothes lying on the bed and his phone beside it. I had to smell his suit and his shirt again, because I needed to be sure I wasn't actually losing it, and sure enough, I was 100% certain that wasn't his Tom Ford perfume that I was smelling on it. At that point, I went straight into his phone. I went into the gallery app first and

right there were the pictures taken that night. It was him at some kind of lounge, with the young woman, she looked like she was 23 or something, cozied up to him. There was even a picture of them kissing while she held the phone for a selfie. I felt like I was going to explode. I took a video with my own phone, swiping through all the pictures. I was about to enter his messaging app. but I could hear him rounding up in the bathroom, so I let it go. Honestly, I wanted to confront him so badly, but I needed to know more because I felt like he'd find a stupid way to explain away the kiss and I might actually fall for it. I know, I hate how much I wanted to trust him.

It didn't take long for him to fall asleep, so I grabbed his phone and jumped into the messaging app. The first two messages were people from work, but the last one was someone called Sabrina, and I hadn't heard anything about her before, so I assumed this was the mystery girl and I was right. I went through the messages and I really can't tell you when tears started streaming down my face. He had told her he loved her, called me all sorts of names, they had reminisced about nights they had just had, there were nudes exchanged. And I don't know when I had gone far enough to see him sending pictures from the night that they had at the same restaurant I had seen the

receipt of. I really hope that nobody here has to go through what I went through, because in that moment, I actually felt like there was nothing left for me. I felt absolutely broken. Some pretty dark thoughts went through my mind as I looked over at him sleeping. After seven years of marriage. I know better now, but I remember thinking about how I do my best to look good, eat healthy, and go to the gym. I know for a fact that I look good for my age, but it destroyed my self-esteem thinking about some of the comments that he made about me and my body, and they both laughed about it. I think it was exactly that that radicalized me and made me realize that I needed to make sure that this man hurt badly. I had to take videos of the entire chat,

slowing down for the parts where he took her to restaurants, hotels, and shopping. He seemed to enjoy sending her pictures. I drank myself to sleep that night. In the morning, I tried to be my usual self so that he wouldn't suspect anything. I don't think I did a great job of it. but he didn't seem to notice much. He was a completely different person to me now. I am not shy to say that I resented him. Once he was out of the house, I knew that I had to find out who this woman was.

I didn't know her last name, but when I searched for Sabrina in the list of my husband's friends on Facebook, there she was. It was the same face that I had seen kissing him, so I was sure it was her. The real shocker was me finding out that they worked at the same company and going by her job title. she was likely one of his junior colleagues.

At this point, I knew her name and I had evidence that they were doing things together, and I wanted to make sure that I hurt them both. Looking back, I think I became unhealthily obsessed with that idea, but ultimately, I was simply seeking closure and revenge in my own way and I'm happy that I found what I was looking for. Honestly, that's all that really matters to me. The first thing that I did was get in contact with a divorce lawyer. Ironically, the same friend of mine who had seen my husband with who I assume was Sabrina,

I eventually confirmed from my friend that it was her, had gotten divorced about two years earlier and she was a big fan of her lawyer, so I hit her up, gave her a long update on everything that had happened since we last spoke. And she sent me the number of the lawyer. Right after we ended the call, I was talking to the lawyer to set up an appointment. It was about a few days later when I went to see the lawyer. I showed him all the evidence that I and told him as much as I knew about my husband's affair. It was funny to me when he had the biggest smile on his face, because according to him, this is as sweet as a divorce case can get.

He said that I had evidence of my husband's cheating, I had evidence of our marital funds that had been spent on his affair, with the shopping, restaurants, and fancy hotels, and I even had a potential issue with his workplace considering the fact that his affair partner was a junior employee who might potentially be directly under his influence. though I wasn't too certain about this part. Either way, speaking to the lawyer actually had me feeling great.

One thing I might not have mentioned earlier is that my husband always wanted me to be a housewife. He said his income was great enough for the both of us, and all he needed was for me to keep the home in order, especially ahead of us potentially having children. I have a lot of things that I volunteer for, so that's usually what takes up my time, but besides that, I've been his lovely obedient housewife all these years while he was cheating on me with who knows how many women. About two weeks after meeting with the divorce lawyer, my husband had to go on a business trip in another state. This isn't the first time he's had to do this, but it was definitely the first time that I felt like he was going to be sleeping with other women or Sabrina. I had lost all trust for the man and it was actually rather shocking that I had managed to stay in the house with him for as long as I had without going at his throat.

It was after he told me he had landed that I decided to get things going. Now, I'm changing Sabrina's last name here. Let's say it's Mueller. That's not a super common last name, so I assumed that everyone in her friend's list on Facebook was a relative of hers. I composed a pretty long message talking about how Sabrina had been sleeping with my husband, knowing that he was a married man, and I even put some screenshots of the nastiest parts of their text conversations,

minus the raunchy photos and videos, of course. I sent it to every single one of them and then put my phone on D&D. A few hours later, some people had replied in shock and apologizing. Some had cursed me out and most had said nothing at all, but I wasn't doing any of this for their responses. My husband had also called me about 15 times, which means he knew I knew. To be honest, I hadn't really planned out what I was going to do at this point,

but I hope that he would have to go through with the business trip, continue to stew as I refused to pick his phone calls, and then when he got back, I'd serve him with the papers. While waiting for this to happen, though, I made sure to pack as much of his stuff as possible into the suitcases that we had. I wasn't going to be thrown out of the house for being the faithful one. I also called over my brother,

because I realized I didn't know my husband the way I thought I did, and honestly, I was fearful that he could come back in some kind of a rage, especially if I was to serve him with so, my brother stayed over for the next two days, until my soon-to-be ex-husband came back from his business trip. As soon as he opened the door and saw me, he started cursing and shouting, calling me all sorts of names. Fortunately, my brother stepped between us and handed him the papers. He looked shocked for just about a second, but it seemed it didn't take long for it to sink in that that was a logical progression of events.

From behind my brother, I told him that I had packed his bag. and he wasn't going to sleep in our house that night. That was the scariest that I had ever seen him look, but he couldn't do anything about it. Instead, he just stood there, fists clenched, and eventually took the divorce papers and his suitcases, and left. Plus, the judge didn't take kindly to the fact that he and his affair partner seemed very unremorseful

about the entire thing. Our money being spent to fund his affair too. Another nail in the coffin. I got the house and a very handsome, alimony arrangement since I basically did not work, so he'd need to be supporting me from wherever he was. Honestly, he could be with Sabrina for all I cared, but I felt like I had one. I didn't care who got a cheating man. It just hurt that I had loved him for so many years and this is how things ultimately turned out. Now, the story is almost done, but I honestly had one final piece of my plan.

Once the divorce was finalized, I wrote to his workplace about the allegations of a senior employee having a very inappropriate relationship with someone junior to him in the workplace. I sent all the evidence I had, once again, being sure to blur out the explicit content. I was not going to allow myself to be hit with some kind of revenge porn charge. It took a couple of days, but I got a response talking about how the situation was being investigated as my claims were very serious as Sabrina Mueller was a direct subordinate to my ex-husband. About two weeks later, I got two-fold confirmation that my ex-husband had lost his job. The first one was him calling me to curse me out and scream every expletive in the book,

and the second one was an email from the company informing me that the investigation had been concluded and the necessary action had been taken against my ex-husband. Honestly, I think once I read that, it was like a sudden relief came over me. I think that was closure. I don't consider myself to be an evil or vindictive person, but I think that realizing that someone you loved and thought you could trust wholeheartedly had no issues cheating or gaslighting you is enough to change a person. All I'll say to the women out there is to beware.

You can trust a man, but don't trust too deeply, because I learned that you can never truly know who someone is, 100%. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Tried to help my alcoholic wife after she lost her whole family. Instead, she cheated on me with her rehab coach and wanted to leave me, so I decided to take revenge. I was married to my wife for four years, but due to her alcohol problem, our marriage was rocky. Before my wife and I were married, I knew she had a thing for alcohol, but I didn't think it would become a problem in the future. She was the type of woman who loved to drink and party. The first time we met each other was at a club. The moment I saw her, I liked her instantly, and I approached her and her group of friends. She and her friends had come to the club to celebrate a birthday that night, and that was how we talked and spent the rest of the evening at the club together.

After meeting each other for the first time that night, we went home together because she asked if she could come home with me, and on the first night, we got intimate. My wife said she thought I was one of those men who wanted to tap her honey pot, and that would be the end. But for me, it was different. I liked her so much, and getting intimate with her intensified my feelings for her. In the following weeks, we met at least twice a week, and after three months of spending time together, we started dating. I this time, she was freshly out of college and did one of those small pay hourly jobs until she could get the kind of job she wanted. As I mentioned earlier, I knew my wife had a drinking problem from the first few weeks we met,

but I didn't think it would get to the point of seeking help after a year and some months of dating, my wife and I married and officially moved and together. Unfortunately, a year after we got married, she lost her parents and only sibling in a ghastly motor accident, and this was when things got worse. Losing her parents and only sibling in one day took its metal toll on her, and she resorted to drinking to help her deal with the pain. When her drinking got extreme, I thought it would only be for the morning period,

but it wasn't. After the burial, months passed, and my wife did not get over her family's demise. She became a shadow of herself, and I tried to comfort her. I understood that she was in a very dark place mentally, but I tried my best to support her in every area she needed support. Unfortunately, around that same time, she got pregnant but miscarried the baby, which added to her agony. She also stopped working and caring for us fell on me.

On the days she wasn't drinking, she would be aggressive and get mad over things that didn't require such anger. Tants walked in on her making out with one of my neighbors, and I was furious. She was high on alcohol, and he seemed sober. I kicked the neighbor out of my house and reported him to his wife, but I couldn't do anything to my wife because I believed she wasn't in her right senses. Well, I was wrong, because a couple of days later, I saw her talking to the same neighbor, and when she saw me coming, she walked away from him immediately. Meanwhile, by this time, her drinking got worse. If I gave her money, she would spend all of it on alcohol,

and it got to the point where she couldn't go a day without drinking. I got so frustrated, and I was tired too. I was tired of tolerating her, paying the bills alone, and still caring for her. It was already choking me, and I decided to get her help. When I had no other option, I told her. I was taking her to rehab, but she was hesitant to go until after a series of persuasion. For the first three months, she went to rehab, I noticed a significant improvement, and I was glad I was getting my wife back. As the concerned husband I was, I was finally at peace that she

had broken out of her bad habit and was finally getting her life together, but I was wrong. One day, I was at home enjoying some YouTube content on my phone when my wife came home to tell me that she was getting married to the love of her life. When she said this, I didn't pay much attention to her, and I just laughed it off, but when she mentioned her rehab coach's name, my ears raised, and I asked her to repeat what she said. According to my wife, her rehab coach, Ryan, was the one for her, and she told me they were in love with each other. She also said that she loved Ryan because he treated her like a queen, talked to her nicely, and blah, blah, and they would get married. I was shocked when I heard that and knew she was going to Ryan she was talking about was already a married man with two kids, so it didn't make any sense. I was also sure she did not come up with the whole marriage thing on her own, so I was forced to confront Ryan on her next meeting day.

When I told him everything my wife had said and how they were planning to get married, Ryan said she was delusional, and somehow, my wife heard all of his responses. She had been eavesdropping on our conversation, and the moment she heard him, she came out of her hiding place with her eyes filled with tears. She literally sobbed like a baby, and at the same time, she showed me a video of her and Ryan together in bed and in the bathroom naked. She had Ryan record the video of the last time they were together in a hotel, and he sent it to her. She even said Ryan promised to divorce his wife so they could get married. When she showed me the video, Ryan was so pissed. and he called her names for being dumb enough to believe that he would leave his wife to be with an unstable woman like her, and his words broke her heart. After losing her family, I had never

seen my wife cry like that, and at that point, I understood that she loved Ryan as she claimed. She even planned to divorce me so she could be with Ryan, which was heartbreaking for me. I was so mad at Ryan for taking advantage of his client, my wife. And to give him a taste of his medicine, I pressed charges. Using the video my wife showed me as evidence in court. Sharing this here is easy because the hurt and heartbreak I felt almost shattered me. Despite all the tough times my wife had given me, I still loved her, and I tried to get her help so that things could go back to normal, but she cheated on me in return and even planned to divorce me to be with her rehab coach. Anyways, I still felt pity for her because she was

utterly heartbroken after she found out Ryan was using her, and she nearly fell into depression. Out of pity, I had to submit her to a mental hospital for more watchful care, and after she was admitted, I divorced her. Even though it seemed like she was not in her right state of mind, she was in the right state of mind to think of divorcing me. Honestly, our relationship was a serious waste of my time, resources, and emotions. But I'll consider it as one of the lessons of life. I'll give a piece of free advice. Some women are not worth all the sacrifices most men make. Even if you give them the universe, they will still have an excuse to cheat.

As for Ryan, I won the court case, and he got a jail term for taking advantage of his mentally unstable client, and the government shut his business down. I often miss my wife, but I cannot use her problem as an excuse for her to break our marital vows and cheat on me. I hope you enjoy this story. discovered my roommate caught in the act with personal gadgets in my sleeping area after a long history of inappropriate conduct with my spouse. Now she is dealing with legal consequences and a substantial time behind bars. I am a 27-year-old woman.

And my husband Jake, fake name, is 27M. My mills always had some strange behavior towards my husband, but I'm only just fully realizing how weird, putrid, and inappropriate she actually is because of what I recently just walked into. I guess looking back now, I sort of see signs that I didn't see before and I really regret not trying to protect my husband more or try to say something before. But it's all unfortunately in hindsight. I always just thought that's sort of how his family did things, and I never really thought it was my place to say anything. But first, some backstory. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We started dating in our senior year. Back in my husband used to play football and was working his way up to getting a scholarship.

He always told me that he didn't actually wanted the scholarship. He said that he always felt pressured from his parents. His dad was the top dog back in the day and got the scholarship and even played pro for a bit before starting up his own real estate company. His mom, Barb just sort of became this trophy wife. She was the pretty blonde cheerleader GF that everyone wanted to be and everyone wanted to date. Anyways, I saw glimpses of the way his parents pressured him when we were younger. They forced him into really tough, demanding, and regulative schedule. His mom would actually touch his abs and tell him that he looked good or she wished his dad still looked like that. It was awkward but it was sort of regular and Jake never said

anything. He just sort of laughed it off. And after we started getting serious, Jake wanted to play football less and was looking at starting up trade school to go up north. His parents hated that. and I remember him telling me that his parents hated the influence I had on him, and blamed me for the fact that he was skipping practice. Because he was skipping practice and not following this strict dictatorship regime anymore, he may or may not have lost a few pounds, and so sometimes his parents would even tell him that he thinned out and looked like a stick. So it made him feel shitty about himself.

Other times, his mom would point out his washboard abs or his hot six-pack yeah, she used the word hot with her only son. Now that I think of it, she actually said some weird things after my husband and I started doing the deed as horny little love bugs as if she was creeping on us or something. She once said, I know what you're doing behind the furnace. Which is funny because we went behind there to do the deed

so we aren't in the living area in the basement. So she must have either heard, which is highly unlikely, or she was peeking through some hole somewhere. Anyways, that was always weird. And to top it all off, she always kissed him on the lips. I mean, to this day. Well, not anymore because we aren't talking to her.

But for real, a grown-ass man kissing his mother on the lips. Oh, and she'd walk around with her bra and underwear on around the house. Even when I was there. It's like she was trying to show off her body or something. I mean, she looked good for her age. She didn't work for a living, she went to yoga and put her. Pilates every day, so yeah, and I'm pretty sure she had a boob job. But anyways, it was weird. But particularly after we told them we were expecting our first, then she really got weird and

started asking really inappropriate questions and I caught her snooping around our place at once point. We hosted a family dinner at one point to tell everyone about the pregnancy and she had gone upstairs to use one of our guest washrooms. Well, I had quite a bit of water to drink and being pregnant, I had to relieve myself, so I had gone upstairs to go use our bathroom and our master suite and I found my mill snooping through my side table. And if you know anything, you know not to snoop through anyone's side table because you never know what sort of treats or trinkets and secret delights you might find. I'm like, uh, Barb? I knew what she had seen in there and she kind of just acted like in denial and she said she was looking for Tylenol. So then I told her that it's downstairs

above the stove and that Jake can get it for her. And she didn't even apologize or look unfazed. She just sort of giggled and went downstairs. And I'm like, K-E-U. So I tell Jake later that night and he's like, that's really weird. Why would she do that? And I'm like, I-e-A. What did she expect to find? I'm like, she's been here so many times, I'm sure she knows where the Tylenol is. He kind of just wrote it off as something his weird mother did and didn't really say anything after that. Then shortly after that, she started bringing gifts over. On one time in particular, she brought me over a gift bag with little face masks and nail polishes and slippers. But then when Jake went to open his, he saw that it was a certain adult toy specifically for men that they put a certain body part in for solo time.

And she's looking at him with a big, huge smile on his face. And she says, this is for when, op, is too pregnant to take care of you. And I was like, ah. And Jake was like, Mom. W-T-F. And she's like, it's the in-thing for guys out there now. And Jake stuffed it back in the bag and was like, thanks, but no, thanks. That's extremely inappropriate.

And she was like, whoa, I'm not trying to step on toes. I've been there before. I know what it's like to try to get things working when you're eight to nine months pregnant. I just want to make sure you're taken care of. Then he's like, okay, that's enough. So yeah, that was weird. Then on another occasion, she started asking intimate questions about how we conceived. And then I'm like, I don't think that's a conversation I want to have with our baby's future grandma.

And she goes, oh no, no, I'm not grandma. and I'm like, okay dokey. I mean, I get it. Some women don't like being called grandma. I've heard Nana, CC, glamma, or diva, but I didn't ask what she wanted to be called in that moment. I couldn't have cared less in that moment. Then she started calling him babe slash baby slash daddy and daddy. Daddy was interesting because she said it with this weird tone, but she was never overly excited to be a grandma. She was excited to have a baby in the house again, as if it was her house. She never called herself a grandma or a grandparent. Someone once cracked a joke and was like, ooh, I bet grandma's really excited.

And she's like a mama. And then they were like, I think mama is usually reserved for the actual mother there, Barb. And people just sort of laughed it off. Another time, I want to say that I didn't catch her drinking my mother's milk tea. If you don't know, this tea helps pregnant women in their breastfeeding journey and helps them produce breast milk. Boo, but I'm pretty sure I caught her taking a box from my stash of tea. I know I had bought three boxes to prepare. She went into the cupboard earlier to grab something.

And then when I went in there later, the boxes just sort of caught my attention. A few days later, we were at their place, and I went to throw out some used tissues in the garbage and saw a ripped mother's milk tea bag packet in the garbage. I really want to say that I hope she's not drinking it. Why would she be drinking that? Is she trying to produce milk? God, I hope not. That's next level.

So then skip to giving birth. She insisted on being there, and granted, Jake actually called her for help because baby was coming earlier than planned and my mom was still out of town. So while we're in the room and I'm having contractions, instead of just sitting there quietly or helping me, she was standing next to Jake. She's basically wrapped around him.

She's holding his hand and the whole thing is just making me nauseous. When he's finally sleeping and trying to get some rest, I see her rubbing his leg and in his sleep, he's pushing her away. Every time she did, he immediately moved away from her and you could tell it was bothering him, but he didn't say anything. Then I finally say, hey, can you go get some ice chips? So she leaves to go and I'm like, hey, Jake, can you tell your mom to leave? She's making me uncomfortable.

And so when she came back, he told her to come back when things were ramping up. At first, she tried to fight him about it, but she eventually left. We didn't end up telling her when things were ramping up and she didn't come back until Baby was here. So, huh. But then when she finally gets to see Baby, she goes, oh, they look just like me. Hey, Jake, whatever. I don't see it.

Now fast forward to two days ago, my mom has gone back home. She stayed with us for a few months while we were getting used to a new normal with baby. Mill suggests she come over to be at the house while baby sleeps and we go out for a little date night. Jake says this a great idea. So we get going. We have a lovely night. Like honestly, so in love and everything feels right. We come back home and we are like, hey, we're home, but no one answers us.

And we're like, K weird. Then we're like, Barb. Hello? Still nothing. In my mind. I'm like, wow, this bitch has literally kidnapped our baby and God knows what she's done with it or where she is. So then we go upstairs and Jake checks our baby's room and I immediately go to our master and I see Mill pleasuring herself on our bed. I literally scream and shut the door.

She screams. Jake comes over and he's like, what? And he goes to open the door. And I'm like, no, no. And he's like, what? And I'm like, your mom, your mom is in there and she's touching. And he goes, what? And then Barb calls out from the room and she's like,

I didn't expect you guys to be home so soon. And Jake's like, Mom, get the out here now. And then she comes out after a couple of minutes and Jake's like, What the hell were you doing in there? And she goes, I was just passing the time, trying out some of your stuff. And I'm like, my stuff. And she goes, oh yeah, I'll wash it. And I'm like, excuse me.

And Jake's like, Mom, no, Jesus. And she literally is looking at us like we're the psychos here. Then I'm like, Mill, you need to leave. I don't trust you with our baby. I don't trust you with my husband. You've really crossed a line tonight. Then Jake is just like WTF mom, WTF. She plays dumb, ends up leaving 10 minutes later.

So yeah. Ida. Edit. I do not want this kind of behavior around our child. It makes me uncomfortable that she is acting sexually towards my husband. And if he won't defend himself, I will step in to protect him. Not only that, but if she's this way with my Jakey,

then who's to say what she's going to be like with our baby? And now I feel just horrific for leaving our baby with her. Who knows what she did or could have done? Update 1. Okay. So a bunch of you have told me the obvious. I'm not the A-hole, but I feel like the A-hole for not saying something sooner, for not stepping up for Jake when he needed someone too.

He hasn't actually opened up to me about how he's been treated by his mom his whole life, but we're working on going to therapy together and individually. Not only that, but we went and see with Jake's mom and his Phil came over to talk to us. We told him literally everything. Everything. And Jake and him even went into a separate room and had their own conversation. His Phil ended up apologizing to us both, but to specifically Jake. He feels awful for not seeing all of the warning,

signs earlier on and for not doing anything and protecting him from that abuse. His Phil went and rented an apartment for Mill to move into. They're going to be selling that house that they live in and they're currently going through a separation. Phil filed for a divorce and he knows because Mill has never worked a day in her life. He has to give her basically everything. So he's not stoked about that because she doesn't deserve a cent, but yeah, so they're not living together. and basically it's starting to go around town. Just how weird she's been. And some of the football moms out there have even said that they thought that she was weird and overstepped her role as a trusted adult in the community.

I guess someone who Jake used to play football with said that his mom made a move on him and touched him inappropriately. So now that's being investigated. I hate the fact that we share a name with this woman. And I hate myself for not saying something sooner. Update 2, well, Mill was charged by that man who Jake used to play with back in junior high. In fact, she's going away for 30 years. When she was going through trial, she asked that Phil and family be there to support her and that was a huge joke. Jake and his dad are slowly getting back on track and trying to repair what's there.

Jake's dad is really trying and he's even started going to therapy himself. Jake and I have been continuing with therapy and we're doing really good. Jake seems to feeling much better, he seems lighter. Not holding things in. He doesn't look like he's carrying on to anything. Our communication is doing great. It's going to be a journey, but we're ready for what's ahead. We're welcoming this new chapter with open arms. We're just all moving forward and loving our new little normal. Now on to the next story. Story 2. hired a private investigator after suspecting my wife was cheating. I caught her with her boss, got them fired, and exposed their office affair and left her penniless. My wife and I met eight years ago

in a bar. She was attractive and single, and so was I. We hit it off and after that, we pursued a relationship together. She gave me some of the best years of my life. I started a family with her and I really thought that we were going to grow together. Unfortunately, I found out that she was having an affair with her boss and because of that we divorced. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to experience and I just want to find a way to move on from it. But here's the story anyway. We had just bought a house and we were undergoing a lot of stress with remodeling and moving. On top of that, both my wife and I were working a lot in our respective careers to try to make our way up the ladder. I work as a copywriter, and she is a journalist. She was very close with

her boss and all the other employees at the paper she worked for. I know that she saw her boss as sort of a mentor for her when she started. He helped her master writing in her field, and he often gave her special stories to cover that fit her interests. I knew the man well also. He was a widower and my wife had a lot of sympathy for him because she was worried about him being alone all the time. His children had moved out of the house and he lived by himself. At first, I thought that the relationship was harmless. Years had gone by and he was more of a father figure to her than anything else. Finding out that he was the person that she had been having an affair with was beyond shocking.

I started to notice that things were off when she was spending more time in the office. Her job is easily one that she doesn't even have to go in for. She has a home office that she can work from whenever she wants to, but she chooses to go in because it helps her focus and she enjoys socializing with her coworkers. When she told me that she would have to be staying late, I questioned why she wouldn't just come home and work in the office. Certainly, that was better than staying in an office building by herself. She could have had dinner with her family and then went right to work. Having it happened one time would have been something to forget about, but when she was staying late in the office two or three times a week I had some red flags waving. Normally, I wouldn't assume that she was cheating on me.

But I had read a lot of Reddit posts and confessions from people who were being cheated on. I started to worry if maybe that was the case here. I honestly didn't even know where to begin with trying to find out if she was cheating on me. I decided that the best thing to do would be just to observe some of her habits and behaviors and see if everything was all in my head. The more I watched her, the more I realized there might have been something going on. Another thing that I noticed was how she would tilt her phone away from me when she looked at it. It was odd, that wasn't something she had ever done before that I was aware of.

If she wasn't trying to hide anything I didn't understand why she would tilt it. I was starting to work myself up thinking that she was having an affair, so I decided to take the plunge and hire someone who could dig around. I found a local private investigator who took on the case. After I told him everything I was suspicious about, he decided that the best of place to start would be at her work. He waited outside around the end of her workday to see if he could follow her and see where she was going. On the second day that he was working, I got a text message from my wife telling me that she would be staying late in the office. I immediately told the

private investigator about that so they would keep a close eye on her building to see where she went if she left. However, she didn't leave the office. When she eventually did, the private investigator followed her to our house. It seemed like she really was staying late at the office. I told the private investigator that I was clearly in the wrong for what I was doing and I wanted to call them off. They ended up convincing me that there still could have been something going on in the office. I thought it was silly, but I told them that I would pay for another day just to rule that out, and then if they didn't find anything I would terminate our contract. Sadly, they found something. My wife was yet again staying late in the office and the private investigator found her in her boss's office

performing oral sex on him. He got some pictures and videos of it for me. When he showed me I was shocked and disturbed and I felt like the world was falling out from under my feet. I had my suspicions but I never wanted to confirm them. Part of me had been hoping that hiring the private investigator would just prove that my wife was faithful. Her boss was like a father figure to her so I couldn't comprehend how they even started an affair. Regardless of my confusion, I was done with her. I had given her everything I possibly could, and she was throwing it back in my face.

I felt a lot of pity for myself, but after wallowing in that for a while I was angry. I wanted to show them that they couldn't both just treat me the way they did without there being consequences. There was a rival newspaper in the area that I remembered my wife always talking about. Her paper and the other were always trying to

one-up each other. I had the perfect story for them. Before I sent an article to the rival magazine, I met with the hour manager of the newspaper my wife worked at. I told them about everything that happened and how they were having sex in the office, showing them the evidence. It was a clear violation of their policy and they assured me that they would both be dealt with. Two days after I did that, my wife came home in tears complaining about how she was fired. She didn't tell me what happened, she lied and said that she was laid off due to budget cuts. I was partially surprised that she continued with the lie, but at the same time, she had already lied so much. When I knew that she was fired, I sent an email to the newspaper.

I got a response saying that they were going to cover the story, but they needed to put a spin on it to make it more marketable. Otherwise, it would have just looked like revenge porn. The story that they ran with was about a boss sleeping with his worker and getting them both fired. They put the picture I attached in, though they blurred the faces of my wife and her boss. Because my wife worked for the rival paper, we never had that one at home. However, that morning I made a special stop to go and grab the latest issue of the newspaper. I sat right at the kitchen table and opened it up in front of her while I drank my coffee. Right on the back of the paper was the article with a picture of her and her boss.

office performing sexual acts on him. She nearly spit out her coffee when she saw it. She yanked it out of my hand and read the article while I sat there with my arms crossed in front of me. She didn't say anything, probably because she didn't think I realized what was on the paper. As she was reading it, I commented on how funny it was that the article mentioned a boss and an employee getting fired the very same day that she was. That clued her into my knowledge about her affair. She tried to explain herself and told me that it was a one-time thing, but I didn't believe her. She was mad that I had the article published. It's hindsight, I do feel like I went a little too far with that. We lived in a small town and everybody saw that article. It wouldn't have taken a lot

of brain power to figure out who it was. We ended up getting a divorce, we had a pre-nup so thankfully I didn't owe her anything. We sold the house and split everything down the middle. We It's just hard to believe that something like this would happen to me. I've been loyal and trustworthy throughout our entire marriage and I never expected that. I know it's going to take a lot to move on from, but I'm hoping I can heal soon.