Reddit Stories - Escaping the shadows my journey beyond abuse and betrayal

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #survivorstories #overcomingabuse #healingjourney #betrayalrecovery #personalgrowthSummary: Escaping the shadows, my journey beyond abuse and betrayal has been a challenging yet empowering experience. Through resilience and self-discovery, I have found healing and strength to overcome past traumas, embracing a brighter future filled with hope and self-love.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, survivorstories, overcomingabuse, healingjourney, betrayalrecovery, personalgrowth, empowerment, resilience, selfdiscovery, healing, strength, traumas, hope, selflove, brighterfuture, abuseawareness, mentalhealthBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I ended contact with my harmful mother a decade ago due to her physical and emotional abuse. However, she recently took charge of organizing my brother's celebration for the upcoming arrival of his baby, and I chose to attend. The event turned out to be chaotic and unpleasant. From start to finish. Editor's note, this post is tangentially related to the main post as it discusses some of Upps' background. Background, I feel so lost. I don't know what to do when I feel sick. I, 41F, have been

no contact my with my mother for the past 11 years following years of physical, financial, and emotional abuse as well as years of parentification. To give everyone an idea, my mother started abusing me physically and emotionally from the age of six, which is when we both moved out of the extended family home. I never knew my father so until I was six. I grew. grew up in a home with my mother, her three siblings and her parents, my grandparents. Her physical abuse consisted of pinching and twisting until my skin blistered or tore. Grabbing me by the arm or leg so hard she'd leave a bruise in the shape of her hand. Throwing things at me like drinking glasses.

A few times I couldn't go to school because the bruises were in places that were visible. Her emotional abuse was just as bad. telling me she'd throw me outside and lock the door so the boogeyman would take me if I didn't do exactly what she said. This was all when I was under the age of 10. The parentification started when I was 11 when my first half-brother was born. He was my sole responsibility. Same when my second half-brother was born when I was 18.

The financial abuse started when I was 12 when I had my first tutoring job. She's take my money to buy alcohol. I would hide my money so I could buy food for me and brother or my cat since she'd forget and just say to eat whatever. Financially, she wrecked my credit. I lent her my credit card when I was 21, stupid I know, to help her with her business. She said, as my mother, I owed it to her. Back then I was still in the mindset I was taught growing up. That family was what was most important.

Now I know better and have worked hard for years to build my credit back up. Back to my dilemma. We, me, and my BF-45M, have been invited to a friend's wedding. There's a chance my mother may be there. What makes me anxious is we have a 9.5-month-old baby girl. Yes, I had my baby late. There's a long tradition of the women in my family being abusive. I didn't want children for the longest time.

I don't regret having my daughter. She's my world and I love her more than anything and I know. know my mother would demand to see her if given the chance. The thought of my mother seeing her and just seeing my mother in general makes me feel sick with anxiety and on the verge of sobbing. These emotions come up because I think of my daughter being exposed to her and I can do as cry. On the other hand, I want to go to the wedding.

My friends who are getting married know my history with my mother. I have a feeling that invite her to be polite. How can I get through this? comments where OP has replied. Commenter, I'm sorry you had to deal with all that. While I can't tell friends who they should invite to their wedding, would think good friends would be aware of the friction. I'd certainly ask if my mother had been invited.

If they answer yes, then I would skip the wedding. If your mother is still drinking and abusive, there's no way I'd risk running into her again. Just not worth it. Poop, thank you. Exactly, I don't want to be that person who dictates who they can slash can invite. That's a good idea. I will ask if she was invited slash rest yes.

She drinks less now. Her heavy drinking resulted in her getting type 2 diabetes. Even with less alcohol, she apparently is still very manipulative and abusive according to my youngest half-brother. Commenter, wishing you luck. Don't blame you at all. My mother's father, grandfather is too familial for him, was a narcissist, abuser too. Had to control every in all situations. Refused to give him any leeway and never spoke to him for the last 10 or so years of his life.

If I had kids, I would not have allowed him to be a part of their lives either. There is no need to have another generation subjected to the vitrial and physical violence. Go to the party, support your brother. You don't have to say a word to her. Make her look stupid by ignoring her. Boop, thank you so much for your comment. I'm so sorry you had to go through that too and you're absolutely right when you said.

There is no need to have another generation subjected to the vitriol and physical violence. My mother is the way she is because of her mother who was so much worse. That's why I had my daughter later in life. I was child free out of fear of being like them. but my stepdad and boyfriend both told me the same thing. I know how not to parent. Mini update. I don't know if this is how we update,

but I'm going to do it anyway, L.O.L. Thank you to everyone who commented and you all had the same advice. So I contacted the bride last night. She wrote me back this morning. She did not invite my mother. She knows a little bit of my history with my mother and said she rarely speaks to her.

She wants me and my stepfather there. He too would not want my mother there. He went through a lot of abuse too at my mother's hand. So my friend wanted us to have a good time and is not inviting my mother. Thank you all again so very much for reading my post. I was so afraid of being that person who causes drama over who is slash isn't invited and didn't want to cause my friend's stress that I started imagining all possible scenarios of what could happen if she was that and spiraled into an emotion.

crying mess. After all your comments, some ginger ale a hug from my husband and baby, I was able to get some sleep. Thank you all again very much. Original post, April 16th, 2024. I, 41F, went NC with my entitled narcissistic mother and her siblings 11 years ago after years of physical, emotional and financial abuse as well as years of parentification starting when I was 11 years old. None of her siblings said or did anything. They just looked the other way and told me I was too emotional and exaggerate everything. My brother, 30M, and his girlfriend, 22F, are having a baby shower for their first baby this Saturday. My mother is organizing it and sent out invites and created a Facebook event.

This is why I went stop my NC, so I could see the event and mark myself as going. I refuse to let a POS human being prevent me from being there for brother and his girlfriend, even if that person is my mother. I'm not going to lie, I spiraled when I first saw my mother's invite. All the years of abuse, days of missed elementary school because the bruises were invisible places, all came back. My stepdad, 54M, talked me down and were going together. He was abused by her just as bad as I was, if not worse.

My mother is organizing the baby shower because my brother is close with her. Yes, he knows what she did but thinks I should just forgive and forget, which I have multiple times, but that never stopped the abuse. My biggest concern is my boyfriend and I have a child, 1F, and when my brother found out, he started again with how I should forgive and forget. I told him I don't expect him to not tell my mother about my child, but to respect that she will not be in my child's life. Since my daughter was born there were some not so subtle attempts from her to like pictures of my daughter.

She even sent me a friend request once, which I deleted right away. She's the jealous vindictive type so it wouldn't surprise me if she pressured my brother to get his girlfriend pregnant so she'd have a grandchild too. She's jealous of my stepdad for being a granddad. For those wondering why I didn't block her, I did but unblocked every now and then because I was paranoid she'd try something with grandparents' rights. Even though I know she doesn't have a leg to stand on for that or try to get sympathy for not seeing my daughter. This still bothers me to this day sometimes. The nightmares and hormones have me paralyzed in fear.

All this to say my mother would be the type of person to post about this on social media and if she does, I want to be able to get screenshots of it and address it right away because she's a master manipulator. I decided to take a big step and started therapy for the first time last week. Therapy was always something ridiculed and seen as something for weak people by my family. My boyfriend, 44M, agreed with the therapy and even asked me how I felt afterwards. He's my rock and my everything. We've been together for 20 years.

For those wondering why we aren't married because we don't really don't care. We love each other and for us that's enough. Therapy helped a lot. I have another session this week, two days before. before I see her again. My therapist called me brave, which honestly surprised me. I never thought of myself as being brave. Anyway, I'll update after the baby shower. Comments. Commenter, your brother deems his deference for your mother above the abuse there he knows you suffered. However much you care for him, your feelings are secondary as far as he's concerned. Why stress?

Spend the day with someone who loves you. Oop, thank you for your comment. I do agree with you that my feelings are completely secondary to him. Unfortunately, he's very much like her personality-wise, but his girlfriend is a gem and keeps him level-headed. Even he admits it's LOL. My dad and I have an agreement that if either of us are uncomfortable, we'll leave right away. We're going as each other's support.

Plus I worked really hard on a crocheted baby blanket. Lanket, Hats and Mitz, L.O.L. Why are you putting yourself in this situation? Thank you so much for your concern. Yes, it's going to be stressful but after having lost my entire family when going NC, I went a few years with no contact with anyone, including my stepdad and brothers. She had turned everyone against me which destroyed me. I felt so abandoned. Once her lies, cheating and abuse were exposed is when my stepdad and one of my two brothers came back in in my life. The one brother who came back, 23M, isn't the one whose baby shower I'm going to, 30M. Yes, there's a massive age difference between us, I'm 41F. I raised the two of them alone.

I felt like I had lost everything when they went and see. Them coming back felt like a second chance. Brother 30M came back a few years after. He's very easily manipulated and has the same kind of personality as my mother, vain, narcissistic and selfish, but he's a watered-down version without the abuse. Basically, I'm putting myself in this situation for my second-chance little family I was able to form after the fallout. Seems ridiculous, but I'd feel terrible to not try. Commenter, I too, think it is a bad idea. I cannot imagine spending time around someone that was abusive to me for years just to appease my brother who didn't even care that I was abused, still maintains a close relationship with my abuser and on top of it has the audacity to tell me

to forgive and forget. That part is throwing me. I cannot for the life of me imagine my mom hurting my sister who I love, yet still wanting to be cool with my mom. My mom would be dead to me. And I get op as fond of her brother's GF, but like someone else suggested, take her out to lunch or do something else nice with her, like a spa day and give her the gift. Oop, as much as I would love to do all the above, it's really hard with how far my brother and his girlfriend live and their job. They both work really long shifts. I know it's confusing and even I wonder sometimes, especially that he plays off my trauma like I'm exaggerating, but the best way I can put it is in a way we have a way to start over. After the year did abuse, not just to me,

but my stepdad also, we want to try and make our little family of chosen people work. We never got a chance to do that, ever. I would have to do a post by itself about my family and all the bullshit that lead to the NC. That would be a massive post in itself. So much to unpack, but therapy is helping. Lastly, I was happy to hear my brother's girlfriend put her foot down with certain things with my mother. My brother will get to see our mother's real personality with his baby. I hope he steps up for his girlfriend and their baby. Comment her, it's okay, to prioritize yourself and your family. You cannot thrive and be bountiful if you don't. If not going is best for you, that is okay. What is best for you is okay. It took me a long time

to say that. It's not selfish to do what's best for you and your low, editors note little one. Boop, I've really been leveraging no as a full sentence and have been using that as a filter for people I want to keep in my life. If people can't respect me when I say no, then what else are they going to disrespect me on? At first I did not want to go. I had a full-blown crying, shaking, dry heaving meltdown. After composing myself, I called my dad and he talked me through it and said he was going. He was heavily abused too, so I know it's just as hard for him. That's why we're going as each other's support. As for my daughter, she's staying home with my boyfriend having a daddy-daughter day.

Comment her, I, I would suggest just using her first name, not mother. Deny the relationship. Twist that knife. Oop, I have. I use mother here because I've used egg donor in the past and people were super confused. Even to my stepdad and brothers I call her by her first name. Comment her, I'm a cross-stitcher and knitter, I feel your pain. editors Nodupe commented at one point that she had a handmade gift for the new baby, as for the shower,

have you considered that by going you are letting her win? She gets to show everyone how mean you are to her, she gets to create drama and blame it on you. Think on this, a narcissist thrives on attention any attention, even bad, is a balm to their soul. She will do everything in her power to make you look bad. There is no way to win, except by ignoring her existence. "'oop, thank you. I have considered that side, too. I'm going by my dad's experience. He had to see her a month ago or so for the gender reveal and he said she looked resigned. Almost emotionless. She's already painted me in a bad light to the entire family, her sisters,

her brother and their kids, who will also be there, by the way. But they're all so non-confrontational and fake. I know my mother is throwing the baby shower for exactly that reason. She wants attention. My dad and I agreed to leave right away if either of us feels uncomfortable. Comment her, you want to be there for a grown-ass man who doesn't care about you being abused. Why do you still care about him? When has he ever cared about you? Oop, thank you for your comment. We used to be close along ago. We've gotten a lot better in the past two years. He was really badly manipulated by my mother for many years. He took for granted that what she was telling him was true because she's our mother and she wouldn't lie, which is so dumb. I know he's learning that more and more.

I think he's seeing it more now that she keeps trying to ask him for money. Like I warned him, she would comment her brother will change his mind about mother once she starts abusing his kid. These kinds of things don't just stop. Good luck to you. Hoop, thank you. I really hope it doesn't come to that, but it wouldn't surprise me. I think it'll be more my brother's girlfriend putting her foot down with my mother's involvement. She'll probably try to involve herself in everything.

My brother will be forced to choose and in general does what his girlfriend says since she's the most down to earth, realistic and normal out of the two. She keeps him level, his words exactly. Comment her, you don't have to go. Just because your brother has poor taste and people doesn't mean you have to be around your abuser. You can see him other times. Oop, thank you for your comment. I know I don't. I'm choosing to go.

I feel like I'm letting my mother get under my skin and win by not going and that makes me even angrier. That's where I'm at at the moment. Editor's note, all edits take place on the same post. Edit, I'm sorry if I'm confusing anyone by saying my dad when referring to my stepdad. To me he is my dad. He and I have gone through hell and back together in regards to my mom. Our experience has brought us closer than ever. Edit 2, I am not bringing my daughter.

She's staying home and having a daddy-daughter day with my boyfriend. Edit 3, April 16th or 17, 2024. Holy cow, I did not expect this many comments. Thank you all so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. That's what I love at Mark Narrations. I love this sub. It's such a tightly knit community.

My daughter knows the sound of his voice now and comes running to see when I play his videos on my tablet, L.O.L. One thing I want to tell everyone, you don't need to worry about me breaking down, crying, or having a meltdown. I'm at a point in my life where I don't get sad. I get angry and my worry is if she tries anything. My stepdad will have to jump him and pull me back. And I have no problems calling her out on her abuse. Many years ago she made him nearly homeless where he only had enough money to pay his mortgage but had to go to the food bank for food.

He didn't tell me because he knew I probably would have done something I'd regret later. He only told me after the fact and I cried tears of anger and disbelief at being related to someone so vile. When I get overwhelmed I cry, which I find so embarrassing. I am seeing therapist this Thursday, two days before the shower and I'm really looking forward to it. I will keep you all updated. Thank you all again so much. I really love this sub less than three. Edit 4, April 18th, 2024. Thank you all again so much for all the love and support.

I'm sorry I didn't clarify this before. I have two brothers 30m and 23m. My brothers are my half-brothers, we share the same mother. Their father is my stepdad. Just like how I call my stepdad dad, I call my half-brothers, brothers. All the comments, advice and suggestions have been been amazing and some really, really funny. I'm feeling so much better after reading all the support and am started to look forward to the baby shower, especially that my stepdad texted me saying he met my mother's husband this week and that the man's face was priceless after my stepdad introduced himself to him. I asked for more details, but he said we'll talk about it on the drive over. After that, I wanted to give you all a full scope of who my mother is and

what kind of a piece of shit human being she really is. I put it in. in point form instead of a giant block of text. 1. Her physical abuse started at 6 to 7 years old. It was pinching and twisting until my skin tore. Grabbing me by the arm or leg so hard she'd leave hand-shaped bruises. Slapping me across the face I'd have the imprint of her hand on my face. Throwing objects at me. She almost broke my orbital bone when I was eight after throwing a glass at my face

after I said a swear word in public for the first time. A few times I couldn't go to school because the bruises were invisible places. Two, telling me she'd throw me outside and lock the door so the boogeyman would take me if I didn't do exactly what she said. This was all when I was under the age of 10. Three, the parentification started when I was 11 when my first brother was born. He was my sole responsibility. Same when my second brother was born when I was 18.

4. The financial abuse started when I was 12 when I had my first job tutoring the neighbor's son. She'd take my money to buy alcohol. I would hide my money so I could buy food for me and brother or my cat since she'd forget and just say to eat whatever. Five. Financially speaking, she wrecked my credit. I lent her my credit card when I was 21, stupid I know, to help her with her business. She said, as my mother, I owed it to her. Back then I was still in the mindset I was taught growing up. That family was what was most important. Now I know better and have worked hard for years to build my credit back up. Six, she tried to get back in contact with me eight years ago by wishing me happy birthday on Facebook under my brother's comment. They're Facebook friends.

This was two weeks after we were contacted about inheritance following my grandfather's death a few months before. She hadn't contacted me for anything the three years previous. So gross, especially since she inherited way more than I or my brothers did. Seven, as for my stepdad, she cheated on him for six years with some guy she met down in the Caribbean. So not only is she abusive, she's also a cheating piece of shit. She would fly out down there six to seven times a year by herself for her me time and would

lose it when my stepdad asked to join her. All the money he gave her to pay the mortgage, hydro, and other utilities, she'd sent to her boy toy, now her husband. My stepdad almost lost his house and she ruined his credit too by racking up credit card and cell phone bills. Her credit was so bad, she couldn't get a phone. I had had enough and confronted her. They split up not long after and that's when all my mother's lies and manipulation came to light.

8. They owned a company together that my mother's brother bought from them. My stepdad and mom had each taken out a loan with the bank to start the company together and were still making payments to it after they split. My stepdad paid his loan off first and that made my mother so angry and jealous she had her brother help her take my stepdad to court to sue him and have him pay her loan. She won. He had to go to the food bank for a while because he couldn't afford anything else but the mortgage and hydro. I have therapy this afternoon and can't wait. I felt so much better last week after just one

session. You all have made me feel so much stronger and confident. Let me know if you have any questions or need clarification on anything I wrote above. Update, April 20th, 2024. Today was the baby shower and onk. I'm putting everything in point form because there's a lot to update you all on. I'm typing from my cell phone as I'm rocking my daughter to sleep. I missed her so much today. One, my dad invited his female best friend to come with us to the baby shower. We'll call her Sally. She's a wonderful woman with a big heart and very protective of my dad, especially since she knows my mother fairly well and works at the same place as her. The first time she and I met we were talking about each other's work and she was

going on about this awful co-worker who was so bossy, blamed everyone else for her mistakes and took the praise for other people's work. Turns out it was my mother, L.O.L. Basically my mother was not happy Sally was coming. Two. Both my dad and Sally said my mother texted them to say the baby shower started at 1.30. It didn't. The invite clearly said one piece. I told them we're getting there for 1 p.m. and was 99% sure my mother was trying to make them look bad out of jealousy. I was right. We arrived at 12.55 p.m. and my mother's deer in the headlights look on her face said it all. Guys, I stayed composed. I did it. My hands were shaking, but I kept them in my pockets. Sally saw this and squeezed my arm. My mother came out of her

days and came over OOP. You came? It's nice to see you. I smirked at her obvious lie and discomfort at being caught, said nice to see you too. Where do I put my gift? She took my gift and put it on the table with the other gifts. Three, my mother's two siblings showed up with their daughters. One sister greeted me like an acquaintance, which I appreciated. The other pretended I wasn't even there. Four. My dad, Sally, and I sat at a table with one of my dad's former work buddies. We had a blast. My mother was not impressed. Shooting us dirty looks. So much so my dad's friend turned to me and said, uh, oh, I think we might need to keep it down. Everyone else was talking loudly, we weren't the only ones. She just didn't like that we were having fun. Dot me forget her.

She always looks like that. My dad spit out his drink laughing. I didn't say it loud enough for her to hear. At least I don't think so and didn't care in the moment to be honest, but we did get more dirty looks, L.O.L. 4. My mother whipped out a headset with a microphone hooked to a tiny speaker that she hooked to the back of her pants,

like she was some sort of talk show host. I shit you not. I didn't notice until my dad said what the fuck. I looked over and couldn't help. but laugh. Did I mention my mother thrives on being the center of attention, even at her own son's baby shower? Five, she had us play games and whatnot, which was fun. I participated and had fun, until my mother handed diapers with melted chocolate bars on them and gave them out to my two brothers, my dad and another guy at the shower. She wanted them to taste what was in the diaper

and guessed the chocolate bar. The way the chocolate was melted you could tell some of the crotch of the diaper had turned gelatinous, which is what it's supposed to do when a baby pees. I doubt that gel is for human consumption. Me and my now very comfortable seat at the shower blurted that's disgusting. I got a few responses agreeing with I yeah. That's gross. Six, then there was the bottle drinking game. My mother dropped the bottle full of grape juice in front of my dad like he was a she was trying to squish with the bottle. It was so obvious that the girl at the table next to us tapped my shoulder and asked why the woman with the microphone just pitched the bottle to the poor guy in the blue shirt. I told her the guy was my dad and the woman was his ex, my mother.

The girl apologized profusely. I told her not to, that she said nothing wrong and that my mother was just like that. Seven, my dad and I went out for supper afterwards and what I found out over guys. O-M-G. Turns out my mother was upset with my dad because she asked my other brother, not the one having the baby shower, to try and put in a good word for her to my dad because she wanted to get back together with him and he just laughed. He didn't know what else to say. Need I remind you all that she's currently married to the man she cheated on my dad with

for six years? She married and sponsored this man from the Caribbean's to come to Canada. to my brother, this poor man is treated like a tenant and is forced to live in her basement. W.T.F. My dad laughed when he saw my face and told me not to worry, that there's no way in hell he would ever consider getting back with her. I told him good because I'd have to smack some sense into him if he did. He's 99% positive she's trying to get back with my dad to try and reconcile with me to have access to my daughter. He said he'd rather die than let that happen. So there you have it.

What a shit show, but it was a fun shit show that I did not expect in the least. Thank you all again for all your comments and support. It was so very appreciated. Comment. Commenter, you handled that well. Now just go back to pretending she doesn't exist. She doesn't deserve anything different. The best revenge is living well.

Oop, that's exactly the plan. Thank you again for your comment. moments.