Reddit Stories - Factory DESTROYED my initial MOTHER'S Day by COMPELLING my spouse to assist with

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #motherhood #workplace #conflictSummary: The factory destroyed my initial Mother's Day by compelling my spouse to assist with work, causing tension and ruining our plans. I felt betrayed and unappreciated, leading to a difficult situation that strained our relationship.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, factory, mother, spouse, work, conflict, tension, relationship, betrayal, unappreciated, plans, ruined, difficult, situation, strainedBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Factory destroyed my initial Mother's Day by compelling my spouse to assist with garden chores instead of commemorating with me and our infant, thus I wrecked his father's day and bestowed him an ultimatum to choose between his mom and our marriage. Our little boy will be one late this summer, so this was the first Mother's Day and Father's Day for both me and my husband. My husband asked what I wanted for Mother's Day. I didn't want slash need anything big or expensive.

What I asked for is, for husband to get up with the little guy and get him fed while I pumped and chilled, breakfast in bed, just toast, scrambled eggs and coffee, for us to take the little guy to the zoo for the first time. This was the main thing I was looking forward to, go to my fave taco place for dinner between morning and afternoon naps we have about four hours of a wake time. The zoo is ABT 30 minutes away so I had figured if we left as soon as he got up from his nap and we'd have a couple hours at the zoo and worst case he could sleep in the car on the way home. We took my mom and my Mill out to brunch the prior weekend to celebrate them as Mom on Saturday and my mom on Sunday. I also got them each a thoughtful little present in flowers to celebrate

their first Mother's Day as grandparents. I arranged everything and told my mom and Mill that we'd be celebrating on the actual day with just our little family and sent them a group chat, which included husband, my dad and Phil. Just to make sure everyone is on the same page. My mill is very pushy and overbearing so I didn't want there to be any surprises or confusion. The Saturday before Mother's Day, Phil sent my husband a text with a picture of all the mulch he just had delivered and said something like going to be a busy weekend. Or something like that. Apparently he had 300 bags of mulch. They have a big yard with lots of flower beds. That night my mill called my husband and asked him to come over first thing in the morning to help his dad move the bags of

mulch to where they were going to be used. She said since we weren't going to the zoo until after little guy's nap, that husband could go over and help for a couple hours and then come pick us up to go to the zoo. I was obviously not happy, but she guilt him and said Phil was going to end up hurting himself if he moved all that by himself and that it's not a big deal and should only take an hour or two. I told him his mom was doing this to try and get us to skip our plans and spend the day with them, but he kept saying it's not a big deal, saying his mom promised it would only take a couple hours, etc, etc. I think most people know what happened.

Husband went over first thing, which means no breakfast in bed and I had to get up to feed the little guy. I was kind of pissed, but whatever. Spent time with the little guy then when he went down for his morning nap, I texted my husband to let him know he should start wrapping things up. up. Then when little guy woke up two hours later I called husband to tell him I'd be ready to go as soon as I finished feeding the little guy. He told me it was taking longer than he expected but that he'd hurry. Like an hour and a half later husband called and said they weren't done but he was getting ready to come home. It's 15 to 20 minute drive from Mill slash Phil's house.

At that point we'd miss the window to make it to zoo so I told him to just stay there and finish and not worry about Mother's Day since he hadn't done a single thing I asked for. I don't think there was any doubt in his mind how pissed I was. A little later his mom called and said since we decided not to go to the zoo, that me and little guy should go hang out with her while the boys finished with the mulch. I admit that I was pretty pissy and told her I had no interest in spending time with the people who decided to ruin my first Mother's Day.

I ended up staying home and ordering a pizza and binging Netflix. When husband got home, he was all apologetic and asked how he could make it up. I was still pissed and told him he could make it up by not ruining my first Mother's Day. I also told him he should plan on spending Father's Day with his mom and dad, BC, Me and the little guy were going to go celebrate Father's Day with my mom and dad. Since Mother's Day Mill has been texting and calling, but I've been keeping conversations short and just giving very bland generic responses. My husband has been apologizing and asking what he can do, but honestly I don't want to bother.

I know it's just a day and we can celebrate any time, like we did with my mom and Mill. But it was my first ever Mother's Day. And it's not like I asked for anything expensive or difficult. The only difficult thing is he's incapable of setting boundaries with his mom. And she's incapable of considering anyone's feelings but her own. This past Saturday he asked if I was still going to my husband. my parents then said he'd like to go with us. I told him he could do whatever he wanted, but since I hadn't done anything for his dad he might want to go see him or something.

We did both end up going to my parents and spending the day with them. It was actually a nice day. My dad insisted on grilling because, of course, he did, but the weather ended up being nice and we spent a lot of time hanging out on their deck playing with the little guy. I'm not sure what if anything my husband did for his dad. I know he was getting a lot of texts during the day, I assume from his mom. She did send me a snippy text saying it was hurtful to spend the day with my family at the expense of husbands, but I told her she got to spend Mother's Day with her baby boy so it's only fair that I spend Father's Day with my family.

I know my husband was hurt that we didn't acknowledge him for Father's Day, but I told him while we were driving to my parents' house that I'm just matching his energy. I admit that I haven't done anything to de-escalate the drama, but I'm still just so hurt he continues to prioritize his mom's feeling over our little family. This isn't the first time his mom has done crap like this and I'm just so tired of it. She always oversteps and insists on doing what she wants. I'm doing better at keeping her at arm's length and holding my own boundaries, but my husband is absolutely incapable of it.

Update, I wanted to thank everyone. I've had a lot of people asking for an update, so here we go. This weekend the husband and I sat down and talked about everything. I expressed to him how incredibly upset and disappointed I was at how both Mother's Day and Father's Day went down. I really wanted to recognize and celebrate my husband for FD every bit as much as I hoped he would recognize and celebrate me for MD. He said he knew he shouldn't have gone to his parents on MD but didn't know what to do since

his mom was pressuring him and saying if his dad got hurt it would be husband's fault. He admitted that he knew he messed up and has been terrified that I was going to ask for a divorce. Since he cut to the chase, I told him that if this is how our life is going to be, I don't want to stay married to him. I explained to him that I realized that while yes, I was upset about what happened on Mother's Day, that isn't what is making me feel this way. That was just the straw that broke the camel's back. This kind of behavior from his mom has been happening since we before got engaged and has just escalated. This has been happening for years. As someone here suggested, I had listed all the times slash events that I could remember,

that she had overstepped or just completely ruined. For our freaking honeymoon, she called him twice a day. Every morning to find out our plans for the day and then every evening to hear how the day went. Plus the constant texting, asking for pictures, telling him how much she missed him. I don't know how I thought this was acceptable. She tried to make our wedding about herself, tried to make my pregnancy about herself, tried to take over when we brought our son home, just constantly inserting herself and overstepping. I told him that I don't really want to get divorced right now, but it's going to happen anyway, I'd rather get divorced now while we can still do it amicably.

Because if nothing changes I'm going to end up so angry and resentful that it would make divorce very contentious and I don't want that for our son. At this point we were both crying, upset and emotional. So I told him that I'll give him some time to decide what he's going to do, but if I don't see clear effort being made to start prioritize me and our son that I'd move forward with the divorce. And the change has to continue. Every time we've fought about this in the past, he's promised he'll change and sometimes he has, but then his mom pulls him back into her orbit.

If we are to stay married, these are some of the things I'm insisting on in no particular order. We each own the relationship with our own parents. That means I'm not planning anything for his parents anymore. No cards, no presents, no brunches or parties, no pictures, nothing. If his parents reach out to me I'm going to redirect them to him, I'm not entertaining or visiting with his parents when he's not around. I'm not taking our son over to theirs by myself. And if they drop by, I'm not inviting them in unless my husband is there.

I'm not changing my plans at the last minute just because they decided to drop by without coordinating with us in advance or because they want us to do something with them. Neither of us makes plans with our parents or accepts invitations until we discuss with our partner. And if we don't both agree that we don't do it. And we don't throw each other under the bus, we just say something like we checked our schedule and we're not available. Holidays like Christmas, Halloween, Easter, etc. are at our house. We can discuss inviting our parents but we're not going to someone else's house to celebrate something involving our son when we can do it at home. This includes his first B-day which Mill is trying to take over and plan, other holidays were alternate between our parents. And we will focus on

being present. That means no more texting talking to his mom nonstop when we're with my parents, no more over-sharing with Mill. She doesn't need to know about our finances or health medical issues or vacation plans or anything unless we both agree it's something we want to share. His visits to his parents can't be at the expense of spending quality time with me and our son. I don't mind him visiting his parents, but he's over there a couple times a week. We are his immediate family now, we should get priority. We're not doing things just because she said we should. And we're not changing our plans just because she doesn't like them. She really doesn't understand that wrong and different are not the same thing. In her mind, if we're not doing what she wants, how she wants,

then we are in the wrong. He needs to go to therapy with someone specializing in enmeshment. And we need to start going to couples therapy. I didn't even realize I have so much pent-up resentment that I can't look at my husband the same anymore. I'm just angry at him all the time and I hate being this way. When it comes to our son, our word, husband and me, is law. If she disregards or minimizes our decisions for our son, then she loses access until she learns to behave. When me or my husband say no to either set of parents, the other person will support them and back them up. That means my husband has to stop trying to get me to agree with his mom all the time.

I can tell he's freaked out and really stressed about the idea of putting hard boundaries in place or distancing from his parents. And I do feel for him. He said he feels like he's caught between a rock in a hard place and that me and his mom are both putting a ton of pressure on him and both have conflicting expectations. that's fine. He just needs to understand that I'm not tolerating this anymore. I know this will cause an absolute shit storm with his parents but I feel like if we don't do it now, it'll just be harder down the road. What does everyone think? Am I being unreasonable? Are there other boundaries

we should put in place? Next story, BF became controlling and clingy after we moved and together. When I tried breaking up, he refused to leave my house and said I'd have to evict him. Then he installed hidden cameras and attacked me when I finally got help. I, 46F and BF, 38M, James refuses to let me end the relationship. We've been together for a little over a year and living together since November. Before we moved and together things were good. We lived in different areas, so most of our time together was over weekends. We got along well, talked often, phoned in texts, did things together, met each other's families, etc.

If any issues arose we talked about them and worked it out, which is why we decided to move and together. That's when things changed. After moving in together, he started becoming more and more clingy, wanting to spend every available minute together. He started staying home a lot. I work from home. We all of a sudden were constantly together. It started to become an issue. But when I tried to talk to him about it, it was my fault he was being that way. I wasn't giving him quality time,

because being in the same room with someone isn't being together. Just occupying the same space. So I made it a point to give him the one-on-one, without distractions daily. It got worse. He started throwing tantrums. We'll get invited to go some. and last minute he'll decide he doesn't want to go but says it's fine if I do.

I won't be gone 30 minutes when he'll start texting me and he'll text non-stop the whole time. If I stop answering I get messages that will say things like I won't be here when you get back or you're not going to like what you find when you do get back. Then when? I do get back, doesn't matter if I come back right away or hours later, he's crying and telling me how neglectful and dismissive I am of his feelings. At first I listened and apologized, tried to be more mindful. But then his insecurities started.

He started questioning if there was someone else. He said it was his insecurities, nothing I was doing, but it's better to voice them and have my reassurance than to just let it fester. That makes sense the first time, maybe the second time, not the 15th time. We started arguing, because when exactly do I have time for someone else? We are never apart for more than ten minutes. It just got worse. He started arguments over nothing.

Nothing would be going on, nothing would happen. He'd just come in the room yelling. He's read my journals, he either goes through my phone or has installed spyware on it. He questions me about things I've written in the journal or text messages. Then tried to lie and say that he read it over my shoulder. This week has been the worst yet. We were out for dinner, he decided it was the appropriate time to discuss things in our relationship. In a very public, intimate dinner setting. We had been having a good day, no arguing, both enjoying

the day, laughing not five minutes before this. I was immediately uncomfortable and very much on guard. I don't like airing my dirty laundry and he knows this. He's insisting on talking about it right then. I said it wasn't the place or time. He doesn't stop. I'm not engaging. After a few minutes of this he decides we need to leave because my demeanor is making him look bad. Everyone can see that something is wrong and it's making him look bad. We got up and left, without eating a meal that we'd already paid for.

On the way home, I started to quietly cry and he started yelling. He was driving erratically into I told him to slow down. He slammed on the brakes from 77 to full stop in the middle of the interstate. state. Twice. We are lucky we didn't cause an accident and hurt other people. He wouldn't let me out. This went on the whole two-hour ride home. I ended it that night. Told him it's over. I'm not doing this anymore. That car ride was the last straw. He refuses to leave. Says if I want him out I'll have to evict him. He begs, he cries, he takes my keys so I can't leave. He threatens to kill himself.

I don't want to go to my aunts because she doesn't need the drama. I have no other family close. I have nowhere else to go. I can start the eviction process, but that takes a month or longer. He just keeps saying he can get better. I don't care if he can. I don't know what to do. Am I really going to have to deal with this until I can evict him?

The police here won't do anything because he hasn't physically assaulted me. I tried a civil no-contact, judge said the same thing. I called a lawyer, same thing. Until he physically assaults me there's nothing they can do to help me. How do I handle this? Edit for clarification. I've been married once. He was abusive, was sleeping with his first wife behind my back.

Once my divorce was final, 2014, he remarried first wife. She died less than a year later under mysterious circumstances. Two years after the divorce he died of a massive heart attack. He has a son that I raised for years, that is 17 now. My boyfriend died in 2017. He fell asleep while driving home from work, graveyard shift, crossed the center line and hit a semi-head-on. Steering column was pushed into his chest, broke his ribs, rib punctured his heart.

He was pronounced at the scene. He was a mile from home. The next one was in 2018, he cheated and an alcoholic. We split up October of 2023. I met current BF, in December of 2023. I know not much time between last two. Also, I'm not questioning if I should get out of relationship. Just how to handle this until I can get him out of my house.

I own my home. So there is no landlord to speak of. I've called the police, a lawyer, and my count, county judge. All days since he hasn't physically assaulted me that there is nothing they can do to help. Update, it's been four months and I thought I post an update. I took some of the advice and filed the eviction a week after my original post. I switched bedrooms and placed locks on my bedroom and office doors. I tried to stay calm and not engage in arguments. Did my best to keep things smooth until eviction. He was not having it. He would go from crying, to talking calmly,

to yelling, daily. The more I refused to engage, the more volatile he became. The more aggressive he was. If I didn't respond to him within five minutes, text or in person, I was ignoring him. Didn't matter if I was working, driving, doing stuff around the house, or just sitting at home. It was exhausting and I was just counting the days. Approximately one week until eviction, he was sending me texts while sitting in same room as me. I finally told him I was doing to answer another message. He sent three more long texts.

I set my phone down and got to leave the room. He attacked me before I got to the doorway. He knocked me to the ground, slammed my head and arm against the floor, tried to force himself on me, and then headbutt me, gave me two black eyes. this he took my phone, loaded his things into the car, and left. This happened on a Friday evening. My cousin and a friend came to stay with me for the weekend. That night my friend found a hidden camera in my fireplace. I took pictures and disconnected it. We spent the rest of the weekend looking for others. We didn't find any more but did find a GPS tracker on my car. We also found my

basement door that leads to outside, had been tampered with. Also, my basement door, leading into the house, has a chain lock. Well, the bracket that is attached to the door frame had the screws clipped short and then pushed back into the frame, so that it would hold but with just a bit of or pressure wouldn't hold. Making the chain lock useless. I documented and took pictures of it all. He continued to call and make threats all weekend. He said he went back to his home but I don't think he did. I think he sat in his car watching my house all weekend. The following Monday I filed a no-contact order through the courts. That same day he was arrested on his way back to his hometown, unrelated charges. I was granted the no-contact order. He is still in jail.

The last couple months have been a struggle for me emotionally. I didn't realize how much of a toll all this had taken on my mental. I'd been looking into therapy. couldn't hurt any at this point. My physical injuries healed up, no permanent damage. Just swelling and bruising. That's it. I've just been working on me. He's still in jail and I'm unsure of when he'll get out. But I'll be notified when he does get released. Thank everyone for all the advice. I really appreciate those that answered and gave advice. Edit, I really appreciate everyone's advice and concern, it really does mean a lot. I decided to heed everyone's advice and move. I went and spoke to my aunt and told her everything. I'd previously told her very little. She has offered to

buy the house, so it can stay in the family. We have also found someone to come twice a week to help her with her household stuff and a daily meal delivery service. I've also spoken with my son and he assures me that he is and will be okay. He'd rather I'd be safe. I work from home but my boss is helping transfer me to a different office. But assure me that I don't have to wait for that to happen before I move. I'm also now working with a DV organization. I've been in contact with an advocate and she is helping me navigate through all this. I'm overwhelmed and stressed.

But I'm doing what I need to do so that I'm safe. I'm sad and disappointed in myself. For putting my family in this situation and making them have to rearrange their lives because of my bad choices. Again, I want to say thank you to everyone that responded.