Reddit Stories - Familial Betrayal Uncovering Secrets and Rebuilding Relationships ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 140

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familialbetrayal #secrets #rebuildingrelationships #compilation #episode140Episode 140 delves into familial betrayal, exploring hidden secrets and the journey of rebuilding relationships. Through various stories, it highlights the emotional turmoil and resilience of individuals facing these challenges, ultimately emphasizing the importance of communication and understanding in mending fractured family bonds.redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familialrelationships, emotionalturmoil, rebuildingtrust, hiddensecrets, familydynamics, personalstories, conflictresolution, relationshipadvice, healingjourney, familyissues, communication, resilience, storytelling, podcast, episode140, lifeexperiencesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner proposed in view of my entire family, but I expressed my hesitation about marriage at this time. Consequently, they have developed negative feelings towards me. My partner, Alex, 33M, and I, 24F, have been dating for the past three years. We met over Bumble, and after going out on a few dates, we knew we had stumbled upon something extraordinary. Despite the significant age gap, our connection felt effortless. We bonded over our love for travel and adventure.

From the very beginning of our relationship, I always made it very clear to Van that I was not ready to settle down anytime soon. I cherished our adventures and the freedom to explore life without the commitment of marriage. Van always seemed understanding, assuring me that he valued our relationship and was in no rush for anything more. Three months ago, Van and I attended his friend's wedding. I met some of his college friends, and amidst the celebration, a few of them playfully teased us, wondering why we weren't married yet. I chuckled nervously, brushing off the question with a shy smile. After returning

from the wedding, Van's behavior took an unexpected turn. He began flooding me with social media posts that emphasized the importance of women getting married and having children before the age of 30. Initially, I found it a bit peculiar but didn't think much of it. However, his behavior escalated. He started asking his sister if we could babysit her kids on the weekends. Being a working professional, weekends were my time to unwind and enjoy some relaxation. Initially, I didn't mind having the kids over occasionally, but it soon became a regular occurrence, and I began feeling uneasy about the whole situation. What annoyed me the most was how he would volunteer to babysit his sister's kids without even consulting me. I would make plans, even securing reservations for us

to go out during the weekend, only for him to cancel them, citing the need to watch his sister's kids because she needed a break. I began to suspect that he was doing this intentionally, perhaps in his weird little way to prepare me for the future. What irked me even more was that every time we babysat those kids, I ended up being the one looking after them, while Van remained glued to the TV with them for the entire day. The situation not only disrupted my plans to relax, but also left me feeling like I was shouldering the majority of the responsibility during these babysitting sessions. When I realized that he wasn't going to stop this charade, I started to make plans to hang out with my friends without him. This really seemed to piss him off. He insisted that as a woman

I should be looking after the kids and leave him alone with them. I told him that he was the one who was inviting them over every time without asking me, hence they were completely his responsibility. He started to protest if this was how I was going to treat our children one day. I was shocked to hear such a disgusting comment from him out of nowhere. I angrily reminded him that his sister's kids were not mine to look after so he couldn't force me to babysit them when all he did was drink beer and burp on the couch. I went on to tell him that I was neither looking to settle down nor was I looking to have

children any time soon. He later apologized to me for how he had spoken to me and I thought he had finally learned his lessons. Over the next few weeks, he didn't bring up the matter and we had a few great dates. Then, out of nowhere, when we were out on a date, I caught him staring at a family sitting nearby. He then turned to look at me and started to talk about how my biological clock was ticking already and we should get pregnant as soon as we can. His word started to scare me as I realized he was no longer playing around. Despite me saying I wasn't ready, it seemed like Van wasn't listening. He was getting more and more obsessed with the idea of getting married.

The pressure was getting too much, and I knew I had to talk about it before it messed up our relationship. One evening, after spending the day preparing a grand meal for us, I decided to have a more open conversation regarding this so I could understand where he was coming from. As we sat down to eat, the aroma of the food couldn't mask the tension that lingered in the air. I took a deep breath, gathered my thoughts, and finally broached the subject. I looked at Van, my fork pausing midair, and said, Van, we need to talk about something important. His eyes met mine, and I could sense a mix of anticipation and unease. I began by expressing my feelings about marriage and how,

at this point in my life being just 24 years old, I wasn't ready for such a commitment. I explained that I valued our relationship immensely but needed time to grow individually before taking such a significant step. I told him that I did not want to be married for at least the next four years. Van, however, seemed taken aback. He tried to convince me with tales of happily married couples, the joy of raising children, and the security that a marriage could offer. His arguments were heartfelt, but I knew that they didn't align with the priorities I had set for myself. As he continued to make his case, I stood my ground, emphasizing my desire for personal growth. I made it clear that I was not ready for marriage, let alone getting pregnant at such a young age.

It became a challenging conversation, with both of us expressing our perspectives passionately. Despite Vann's attempts to sway my opinion, I remained firm in my stance. I explained that rushing into marriage wouldn't be fair to either of us and might jeopardize the very relationship we cherished. Hearing his continuous argument and feeling the weight of our differences, I took a deep breath and told Van that if my reluctance to marry were a deal-breaker for him, perhaps it would be best for us to part ways. I saw a flicker of panic in his eyes. Van began to protest vehemently, his earlier conviction momentarily wavering. He backtracked, assuring me that our relationship meant more to him than any societal expectations or predefined timelines.

He claimed that he just needed time to adjust his own perspective. He assured me that he would respect my choices from now on and give our relationship the space it needed to thrive. Although I wasn't fully convinced, I did observe the sincerity in his eyes. His reassurances held a promise that he had grasped the essence of my feelings and that the topic of marriage wouldn't loom over us like a storm cloud any longer. With a reluctant yet hopeful nod, I agreed thinking that I would not have to worry about this again. After our serious chat, things chilled out. Van stopped bugging me about getting hitched, and we got back to our cool, adventure-filled groove. We continued to hike, explore, and enjoy life without any pressure. It felt like we had found

our sweet spot again. My sister's birthday was coming up in a few weeks. I was delighted to be flying back home and meeting my family after a long time. On the days leading up to her birthday, I noticed that Van spent an unusual time on his phone. He would act a bit odd every time I walked into the room, and it made me wonder what was going on. I tried not to jump to conclusions, but the uneasy feeling lingered, like a storm brewing on the horizon. I couldn't shake the thought that something was going on with him. When we flew back to my hometown for my sister's birthday, Van's behavior became even more perplexing. He seemed overly invested in the preparations for her upcoming party, constantly checking his

phone and excusing himself for mysterious calls. On the day of her birthday party, I was thoroughly enjoying myself. I was catching up with my family, chatting with friends, savoring the delicious food, and soaking in the festive atmosphere. Laughter and music filled the air, creating a joy. backdrop to the celebration. Amidst the lively chatter in celebration, Van decided to call everyone's attention by clinking his glass. His voice cut through the merriment, and a hush fell over the crowd as all eyes turned toward him. I felt a knot form in my stomach, a sense

of unease settling in as I tried to comprehend what he was trying to do. Van began talking about how his life had changed since the day he met me. He smiled and started describing how he never thought he would settle down until he met me. I was bewildered and confused about what he was doing. He walked up to me and suddenly got down on one knee. I gasped in shock as my family and friends erupted in a chorus of encouragement, cheering him on as he took out a ring. He continued to say how he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me and eventually start a family. Van's eyes held a mixture of anticipation and hope, as he continued to hold out the ring awaiting my response. I was so shocked seeing what he had just done.

He knew very well how much I didn't want to get married, but there he was, a shiny ring in hand, asking me to say yes in front of everyone. In that charged moment, I grappled with conflicting emotions. The festive celebration had taken an unexpected turn, and I found myself standing at the center of attention. Panic set in. I looked around at all the familiar faces, my mother looked like I had just won the lottery, my sister smiled at me mouthing me to say yes to Van, and all my cousins were giggling.

I felt like a deer caught in headlights. My boyfriend had this hopeful look in his eyes like he just aced a math test and was waiting for a high-five. In the midst of my internal freakout, I shook my head. I can't, I finally uttered, the weight of those two words hanging in the air. Van's hopeful expression faltered, replaced by a mix of sadness and confusion. His disappointment was palpable, and I could sense a tinge of embarrassment in the silence that followed. My family members exchanged glances, their initial enthusiasm replaced by a hesitant awareness

of the unfolding scene. Van stood up slowly, the glimmer of the ring now dimmed. He attempted a strange smile, attempting to downplay the rejection. The atmosphere, once vibrant, now carried an awkward tension. I felt a mix of emotions regret for causing discomfort and anger towards Van for putting me through this publicly. I announced to everyone that I needed to talk to Van in private. Frustration gripped me as I led him inside, away from the prying eyes of the guests in the backyard. As soon as the door closed behind us, I erupted in anger. I couldn't believe the audacity

he had to pull a public proposal to pressure me into saying yes when he clearly knew that I wasn't looking to settle down any time soon. Hearing my words, tears welled up in his eyes. His voice quivered as he expressed how I had shattered his dreams, claiming that proposing was the ultimate expression of his love and any other woman would have been excited to say yes to him. I angrily retorted that he should then go and propose to someone else because I can't be with him anymore. The scene quickly escalated, with Vans' tears turning into audible sobs. He started to accuse me that I had led him on all these years, playing with his emotions. I reminded him about our past conversation and how I never signed up for this emotional roller coaster,

so I didn't understand how I was suddenly the bad guy. The commotion caught the attention of my sister and mother, who rushed in with concern etched on their faces. Seeing his tear-stricken face, they started to implore me to reconsider his proposal, highlighting how it was time for me to grow up and settle down. I couldn't believe how my own family could force me. to get married when I had already clearly expressed that I was not ready. My sister told me that I had no right to embarrass Van in front of everyone. I looked around and saw some of my friends giving me sympathetic glances, thinking I was crushing my poor Van's dreams. Overwhelmed by the

embarrassment and the persistent opposition from my family, I couldn't bear the weight of the situation. I quietly walked out of the party leaving Van to continue his emotional display in front of everyone. Since the incident, the atmosphere at home remains charged. Van, overwhelmed by embarrassment and the aftermath of his heartfelt proposal gone awry, decided to fly back alone. I was a bit relieved as I knew that we needed space at this moment. Even though he is gone, the awkwardness continues to linger, with my family questioning my decision and attempting to sway me toward reconsidering his proposal. Despite sticking to my guns about not wanting to get hitched, I find myself grappling with guilt. The image of Van's sad face keeps replaying in my mind. Did I break his

heart? Maybe. But at least I didn't break my own in the process. So Reddit am I the asshole for rejecting my boyfriend's proposal after clearly letting him know that I was not interested in marriage now? Update 1, in the aftermath, since I wrote this story, a lot has happened to my family. My sister, Donna, and I have had a fighting match regarding what happened between me and Van. She revealed how Van had confided in her about his elaborate plan to propose, and she had known about this for weeks. In her mind, she believed it would be a wonderful surprise for her birthday celebration. The disappointment on her face was evident as she expressed how my rejection and my selfish nature had cast a shadow over what should have been otherwise a joyous occasion

for everyone to celebrate. My mother tried to keep the peace between us, but I couldn't take my sister's accusations anymore. Amid-star-heated exchange, I finally confessed to them that Van and I have had multiple conversations about marriage. I emphasized that I had consistently communicated my reluctance to tie the knot so soon. Hearing this, my sister's expression shifted from anger to a mix of frustration and confusion. She asked me to elaborate more and I told her how I had communicated.

my priorities to Van clearly, and Van had promised me that he would not be pressuring me to get married anymore. I asked her if Van had told her about our conversation and she shook her head no. It was clear that my sister had been unaware that I had expressed my feelings to Van long before he decided to publicly propose to me. Donna then questioned me why would Van purposefully propose to me if he knew that I wasn't going to get married. I explained to her that despite our conversations, Van somehow might have thought that a grand gesture would somehow change my mind. It was as if he believed the public nature of the proposal could override the doubts I had expressed about settling down so soon. My dad who was hearing our conversation decided to speak up

at this moment. He generally doesn't like to interfere in family matters and detest being around any drama. I braced myself thinking that he was going to reprimand me also like my sister was, but to my surprise, my dad told Donna to leave me alone. No one should feel forced into marriage, he remarked, his tone reflecting a stern yet understanding demeanor. If Van truly cared about her, he would not have pressured her so publicly. Love should grow naturally, not be coerced with grand gestures and unnecessary drama. His words resonated in the room, causing a brief pause in the conversation. Donna, visibly conflicted, seemed to absorb the gravity of my dad's perspective.

I couldn't help but feel a mix of gratitude and bewilderment towards my dad for having my back. Despite my sister temporarily shelving the conversation, there's an underlying skepticism lingering in the air. As for Van, he has been calling me nonstop after flying back home. I thought we could take a bit of space from each other, but he has been constantly texting how much he loves me and misses me. He has sent me paragraph after paragraph about how he can't imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone except me.

It's starting to make me feel suffocated. I have loved Van all these years but his refusal to accept my boundaries is making me question our relationship. I will update you once I fly back home and confront him. Update 2, thank you for everyone's overwhelming support and interest in my story. To start with, when I returned back to the city, I didn't immediately go back to the city. home as I knew Van would be waiting for me. His constant calls and heartfelt messages had overwhelmed me and I didn't have the energy to confront him. I decided to stay at a nearby

hotel for a few days while I went to work. Despite my initial resolve to address the situation calmly, his relentless pursuit became overwhelming. Two weeks later, I decided it was time for a face-to-face confrontation. I invited Van out for lunch and he was excited to see me after so long. As I met him, the weight of unspoken words hung in the air. His eyes pleaded for reconciliation, but I knew deep down that our paths had diverged irreversibly. In a quiet corner of the restaurant, we laid bare our feelings. I recounted how the public proposal, despite his good intentions, had become an unforgivable moment.

I conveyed the embarrassment and discomfort that lingered in the aftermath, emphasizing the strain it had put on relationships within my family. His eyes mirrored a mix of regret and realization hearing my words. He then started to protest, insisting that everyone would forget about this incident once we got married. I sighed in exasperation, looking him in the eyes, and firmly conveyed that I didn't want to be with him anymore. His eyes grew wide in shock as I continued to explain that I didn't want to be married

to someone who would knowingly force me into a corner publicly. I stressed the importance of respecting each other's boundaries and choices. emphasizing that genuine love should be considerate and patient. He started to profess his love again, narrating how he wanted to grow old with me. Yet, I stood firm, reiterating that we clearly wanted different things in life and I was not going to change myself for him. Emotions ran high, tears flowed, and Van continued to plead. I empathized with his heartbreak but stood resolute, unwilling to compromise my own priorities.

His initial shock started to turn into resent. and his frustration began bubbling to the surface. He began to accuse me of holding him back, even using derogatory words like Gold Digger. He argued that all his friends were settling down, building families, and here he was, trying to convince me to get married. He told me how he was the best thing to ever happen to me and I was a foolish girl if I decided to let him go. His words were laced with so much bitterness and desperation that I couldn't help but laugh, which stopped him mid-track. His claim of being the best thing to ever happen to me struck me as ironic. Considering the emotional turmoil his grand proposal had caused me the last few weeks.

I told him that I had been feeling guilty a few days ago for rejecting his proposal, but watching his reaction had solidified the fact that I was right not to marry him. Van, caught off guard by my response, seemed momentarily lost for words. I could see the realization dawning on him, even if reluctant, that I was not going to listen to his demands. With a heavy sigh, I wished him luck for his future and told him to not bother me ever again. I also let him know that I would be coming by the next day to pick up my things from our place so I could officially move out.

Van reluctantly agreed, a mix of resentment and acceptance etched on his face. As we parted ways, I couldn't help but feel proud of myself for standing up for what I wanted. It wasn't about relishing in his disappointment. Instead, it was the importance of standing up for what I truly wanted, even if it meant disappointing someone else. Update 3. It's been about four months since I broke up with Van. My life has been going surprisingly well. After our breakup, I moved out from his place into a flat where I lived with a great roommate.

It has been a bit daunting to adjust to a new space, but the clarity of newfound independence offered a glimmer of hope. It felt like shedding a weight I didn't realize. I was carrying while dating then. In the days that followed, I faced my fair share of questions and raised eyebrows for my family. My sister, Donna, initially struggled to accept the situation, still holding onto the notion that I had let go of something good. Aware of the lingering concerns, I decided to invite Donna to visit me at my new place. The intention was to spend some one-on-one time with her, giving us the chance to have a heartfelt conversation, without the prying years of

family members. When she visited me, we could finally talk about everything. I started by acknowledging her concerns, understanding that my decisions might have seemed sudden and unexpected to everyone as I had been with Van for a long time. I wanted to reassure her that my breakup with him wasn't about rejecting a good thing but about recognizing what truly made me happy. We delved into the dynamics of my relationship with Van, the pressures that had been building, and how his grand proposal had become the tipping point that eventually forced me to break up with him. Donna, with a mix of curiosity and concern, asked about my emotional state during and after the breakup. I explained the relief that came with shedding the expectations that didn't align with my desires.

We shared a few laughs about the awkwardness of the proposal incident, finding some humor in the chaos. The conversation then shifted to the positive changes in my life post-breakup. I highlighted the freedom I had now to make decisions in my life without the constant worry and pressure of what my partner would want and how I had been rediscovering myself. Donna listened, starting to understand my perspective. In the end, she assured me that if this was something that made me happy, then she didn't want to stand in my way. I felt relieved hearing her words.

Our talk then transitioned from the heavy topics to more light-hearted banner. Over the course of her stay with me, we had a great time and I had a great time and I I took her around the city for sightseeing. Since my sister's visit, my mother has also started to see that I have been doing much better without van. She has apologized to me over time for judging me that day and has assured me that I have the autonomy to decide when and if I ever want to get married. She emphasized that my happiness and well-being were her primary concerns and she would stand by my decision no matter what. Life has taken a turn for the better. The weekends are now mine to relax and enjoy without the stress of babysitting or unexpected

marital discussions. I have rekindled old hobbies, taken spontaneous trips with strangers, and found solace in the simplicity of being true to myself. As I reflect on these four months, I can't help but smile at the progress I have made. The breakup, once a source of guilt, has now become a pivotal point in my journey of self-discovery. I am forging ahead, embracing life on my terms and relishing the freedom to grow at my own pace. My life isn't perfect, but it's filled with moments of contentment, laughter, and the simple joy of being free to write my own story. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner requested a pause due to another individual, so I departed and relocated to a different town. Presently, she is monitoring me closely,

her guardians expressed regret, and she desires to reconnect. Me back, but I refuse to talk to her. I, 34M, am struggling with whether I am in the wrong for refusing to talk to my ex, Sarah, 29F, not her real name. There's a lot of history here, and I'll do my best to explain everything clearly. In mid-2020, I met Sarah at work, and we hit it off immediately. I fell for her quickly, and it didn't take long before we started dating. However, early in our relationship, Sarah broke up with me over something minor. To make matters worse, she made a scene in front of everyone at work. I was devastated but didn't want to leave my job at first. Eventually, I realized I still had feelings for her, and seeing her every day became too painful. That's when I decided to quit and find a

new job. We lived close to each other, so we bumped into each other frequently. over the next few months. We started talking again, but even though I still had feelings for her, I couldn't bring myself to consider getting back together. What she had done hurt me deeply. After a couple of months, she told me she regretted breaking up with me over something so minor. She admitted that doing it in front of everyone was wrong and that she had been thinking about it ever since. She seemed genuinely remorseful, and I could see she meant it. Feeling that her apology was sincere, I asked if she wanted to give our relationship another try. She agreed, and by early 23, we were officially back together. One year later, things were going great. We talked about

marriage and building a future together, which made me feel ready to take the next step. I decided to surprise her with a proposal and started working extra hours to save for a house, so we could marry not long after. I didn't tell her why I was working so much because I wanted it be a complete surprise. Then, out of nowhere, she asked for a break. I was blindsided, and when I asked why, she refused to explain. Around the same time, I noticed she had been talking nonstop about a new guy at her workplace. But suddenly, she stopped mentioning him altogether, which made me suspicious. Confused and heard, I reached out to one of my close friends, Emily, not her real name, who, along with her boyfriend, still worked at the same place as Sarah.

I vented to Emily about what was going on and asked if she knew anything. She said she didn't because she worked in a different department, but she promised to ask around. A few days later, Emily got back to me. She told me that Sarah had been feeling like I was distant lately, especially with me working extra hours and not going out much. Emily said some of Sarah's colleagues have been encouraging her to take a break, claiming I wasn't treating her well and wasn't as invested in the relationship. On top of that, they were trying to match her up with a new guy at work, saying they'd make a better pair. I told Emily about my

plans to propose and buy a house for Sarah and me. That was the reason I'd been working so much, I wanted to surprise her with something big. After about two weeks, Sarah called me and asked to meet up. I agreed but told her up front that I needed an explanation for why she wanted a break before we could discuss anything else. She brought up how distant I had seemed, saying it made her feel like I wasn't as invested in the relationship anymore. I told her that if she had just talked to me about it, she would have known there was a reason for my behavior, but now, it didn't matter anymore. Then she mentioned the new guy at her workplace. I said his name before she could, and she looked surprised, asking how. I knew.

I told her I wasn't an idiot, I'd noticed how she suddenly stopped talking about him after bringing him up all the time. She swore that she had never cheated on me. I replied that looking for someone better at the first sign of trouble could be considered cheating by some. At that point, I told her I didn't want to hear whatever else she had to say. Whether or not she wanted to get back together didn't matter, I was breaking up with her regardless.

The breakup deeply hurt me. I couldn't bear staying in the same place, so I asked my company for a transfer and used the money I'd saved for the proposal to start over in a new city. While talking to Emily, the friend I had vented to before, she apologized to me. She admitted that she had slipped up and told Sarah about my plans to propose and buy a house. Emily said Sarah broke down crying after hearing that. I appreciated Emily's honesty, but it didn't change what had happened. By mid-December last year, I returned to my hometown to spend Christmas and New Year's with my family. Some friends wanted to organize a party to get everyone together, since many of us, myself included,

had moved away and were only visiting for the holidays. Sarah was invited too. We barely interacted that night, just a quick high in passing. At one point, I glanced at her and saw her smiling while chatting with a group of women. That smile brought back so many memories. I realized that seeing her smile still made me feel the same way I did the first time I saw it. I thought to myself, how screwed up am I that I still feel this way? Despite those lingering feelings, I was still sad and deeply hurt by how things had ended.

Looking back, I also started to blame myself. I should have paid more attention to how she was feeling. I could have told her about the extra work and why I was doing it. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Later that evening, one of my friends mentioned that Sarah's relationship with the guy from her work had only lasted a couple of months. After the holidays, I planned to return to the city where I now lived. My vacation ended on January 6th, so I decided to leave on Friday. That way, I'd have Saturday to sort everything out at home and prepare for the week ahead,

with Sunday to relax before going back to work. Before I left, one of my friends from back home called me. He said he had a favor to ask on behalf of someone else and warned me that I wouldn't like it. I could already feel my stomach sinking. Then he told me it was Sarah. She was moving to the same city where I lived to work at her relatives' company, and she needed a ride.

He asked if I could take her. I didn't even think about it before I said no. The idea of being stuck in a car with her for hours was too much to bear. It would have been painfully awkward, just like the party, and I wasn't ready to put myself through that. He told me that Sarah and I needed to talk, but I wasn't having any of it. I went back home, and last week, I went for a run and stopped to rest a little in a park when I heard a familiar voice say, hi. It was Sarah. She tried to start a conversation by asking how I was and mentioning that we didn't get a chance.

chance to talk at the party, but I cut her off, saying I didn't want to talk to her. She told me not to be like that, that we needed to have a conversation, but I said no. She asked how I could still resent her after almost a year and after everything we've been through, but I told her it wasn't resentment. I was very honest. I told her that thinking about her, talking about her, or even seeing her still hurts a lot, and that's why I couldn't talk to her. She said that was exactly why we needed to talk. I didn't see the point. I just walked away.

Since then, Sarah's tried to approach me twice more, and I've shut her down both times. Some of my friends think I'm being too harsh and that I should talk to her for closure. Others say it's not okay to torture her over what happened forever. But that's not what this is about. I don't have any resentment or negative feelings toward her anymore. I even recognize now that I share some of the blame. But it still hurts. I can't talk to her because it's like reopening an old wound that never fully healed.

So, Ada for refusing to talk to her. Additional information from OOP after reading comments. OOP, thank you all for your advice is. I just want to explain better one thing. My friends are not calling me or messaging me saying that I should talk to her, that's just the opinion of some of them when the subject was brought up. Update 1, February 2nd, 2025. Hey everyone, I wanted to give an update and thank you all for your input.

I took the time to read through every comment, and while I didn't respond to all of them, it was only because I didn't have anything to add. I'm truly grateful for everyone who shared their thoughts. It has been incredibly helpful. After reading everything and thinking it through, I've decided. decided to stick to my decision not to talk to Sarah. Something I forgot to mention in my original post, though I did tell a few commenters, is that I blocked her everywhere after we broke up the second time.

Over the last few days, it seems like her persistence has started to backfire. Some of our mutual friends, including the ones who initially told me I should talk to her, have become frustrated with her constant attempts to contact me. Apparently, they've started turning on her because of it. Three days ago, Emily, the friend I vented to back then, made a post on social media about stalkers. She didn't name Sarah, but a lot of people picked up on what she meant. I've also seen several comments on my original post suggesting that Sarah might have been stalking me. Her job in the same city and her coincidental appearance at the park all line up with that theory.

For what it's worth, I know her uncle owns a company here, so maybe that is really why she moved. But honestly, it's not my problem, and I'm not going to look into it. Things have been quieter. Friends have dropped the subject, and Sarah hasn't tried to reach out again. That is, until yesterday. I watched the UFC event with some co-workers. When it ended, I was heading to my car when my phone rang. It was one of our mutual friends calling.

She said she had been talking to Sarah and asked if she could pass along a message. I sighed but told her to make it quick. The message was simple, Sarah said she understands why I don't want to talk to her. She promised she wouldn't try to reach out again but added that she still thinks we need to talk. She said the door is open if I ever want to. I told my friend I didn't have a message to pass back and asked her not to bring up Sarah again in our conversations. If what Sarah said is true, it's a relief, but I'm not holding my breath. I wouldn't be surprised if she tries something else.

Maybe she thinks giving me space will make me go to her, but it won't. That chapter of my life is closed. Right now, I just want to focus on myself. I probably won't be dating anyone anytime soon. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that I need to get to know people better before jumping into a relationship. I've also been thinking about how loosely I use the word friend. That is another part of my life I need to rethink. Some of the people I have called friends have proven they don't have my best interests at heart.

A few people suggested therapy in the comments, and I'll admit, it is something I've been considering. For now, I'm giving myself time to heal on my own, but if I still don't feel right after a while, I will look into it. Thanks again to everyone who took the time to comment. Your advice has been a huge help in sorting all this out. Update February 2nd, 16, 2025. There's been no sign of Sarah these past few weeks, and no one's brought her up in conversation either. That's a good thing. Then, last Tuesday, February 11th, I got a DM from Sarah's mother.

She said she wanted to apologize for her daughter's behavior and asked me to call her. I've always had a great relationship with Sarah's parents. They're genuinely good people. Even during both breakups, they were always respectful and never overstepped. I didn't really want to talk about Sarah anymore, but I also didn't want to ignore her mother. After thinking it over for a few minutes, I decided I'd call her. However, if she tried to convince me to speak with Sarah or anything along those lines, I politely end the conversation.

When she answered, she put me on speaker so Sarah's father could join in. I half expected to hear Sarah's voice too, but fortunately that didn't happen. The conversation itself was actually really good. They started by apologizing for Sarah's recent behavior. I immediately told them they had nothing to apologize for, but they insisted, saying they felt it was the right thing to do. They also told me they had no idea what had been going on until recently. Once they found out, they called Sarah and had a long talk with her.

Her father admitted that it was the kind of conversation he'd expect to have with a teenager, not an almost 30-year-old woman. Sarah promised them she'd stay away from me and seek therapy. I felt relieved, not just for myself, but for her too. Everything that happened between us wasn't great, but I genuinely wish her the best. I hope she finds happiness. Before we ended the call, I thanked her parents and reiterated how much I respected and admired them. Now, I can finally say with certainty that this is over. Sarah would never betray her parents' trust.

Thank you all for the advice. It really meant a lot. Next story, wife said she hated her XFWB but decided to reconnect with him, started spending hours with him, then she got mad when I threatened to leave. To set the scene, my wife, 41F, and I, 40M, have been together for 15 years and have a child together, Before we met, she was friends with KC. 44M, whom she also had occasional sex. She cheated with him on her last boyfriend before the relationship was over, something she mentioned once and forgotten since that she mentioned it to me. The reason she ended their friendship was because the last time they had sex, he didn't pull out and she had to take plan B. She was mad at him for that,

and decided to cut him out of her life. That was fairly recently before we met, and when she and I started dating, she was still in the process of clarifying to him that she didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Cued to now, she recently reconnected with him via another friend, and they have been spending an unusual amount of time together. Her friend pulled her into some sort of crypto thing, and is currently teaching her and a couple of other friends everything about crypto investments. She wants to learn everything about crypto investing and is attending his boot camps, but in addition to that, she also hangs out with him taking walks and just being on the phone with him. I made it clear

pretty early that I find it a bit weird that going form I don't want to see him anymore and after 15 years suddenly spending so much time with him. Zero, 100 right quick. She doesn't hide him though. She tells me when she hangs out with him or sees him, and has so far been open about their interactions. He has three kids and is married. It came to a head today when she announced she was going to go out with him again, after last weekend where she said she'd be going for a walk with him at night for an hour and ended up spending at least four hours with him taking a walk and losing track of time. I told her in no unclear terms that she is a grown woman but that the intensity of their contact is worrying and making me uncomfortable. And that if I felt that this

relationship became appropriate, I would end things with her at the drop of a hat. She knows I have been cheated on in the past, and that I have a zero tolerance policy towards cheating and I despise it, and have never done it myself. She's upset now and currently outside in front of our house door talking on the phone. I assume she's talking to him. Meanwhile, I'm looking after our daughter and her friend. Update 1. Not sure how I'm allowed to participate in this conversation, such arbitrary rules on this sub, but we just had another argument before she walked out to meet with him.

She put our daughter to bed and before she left the house, she wanted to talk. defended him and their friendship and asked why I didn't have a problem with her other exes, I've met two of them and they're both stand-up guys, and she does hang out with them occasionally, but I'm not worried about them. I told her this is different, that context matters, and that I really don't understand why she thinks it's appropriate or even acceptable to meet with a former FWB and spend so much time with them. I brought up that she cheated with him, to which she corrected me that it was someone else

who she cheated with on her last boyfriend, some guy with a similar name, whatever, and that they only had sex in between relationships. And then she stated that they talked it out what happened between them with the unprotected sex, but that I wasn't willing to hear it, because I told her I don't want to hear anything about the guy as I don't like him. To this I got pretty angry, asking her if she is really discussing past sexual encounters. She said, yeah, it had to be talked out. We went in a few circles after, but basically it was the same stuff, I don't think it's appropriate, I am not comfortable with the intensity of their friendship, and at the moment I feel she's not being truthful I am walking out. Also reiterated my point that she's a grown-ass woman

and can do what she wants, but she isn't free of the consequences of her actions. In the end, she stood there with tears in her eyes and a look of contempt I've seen before when she's about to lose her shit, but kept her cool and said she's going off to see him. Tried to kiss me goodbye and I told her no. She then walked towards the door ranting about me being unreasonable, and I told her again that she's a grown-ass woman and that she can do as she pleases but that she needs to be ready for the consequences of her actions. Slammed the door shut and drove off.

I guess we'll see what happens when she comes back. Update 2, January 17th, 2025. Still get DMs here and there so I thought I'd give everyone some closure on this. Nothing too exciting. So after she ran off to meet him at some bar, she came home around midnight. I was still up as I was watching something on TV, looked over at her, and she looked unsure. She sat down at the end of the couch where I was sitting and said she's sorry she got so angry. She met with him and they talked about the situation.

Apparently, he told her that I am right and that it is weird they're spending so much time with each other. And she called a few friends to talk and get their opinion. They mirrored the same sentiments. That it's hard not to think of this as having at least an emotional affair. To be honest, I was still beyond pissed. And to hear that she only came to realize it when other people told her it was inappropriate, not just me, wasn't helping. She explained that she is learning something from him that is giving her a new lease on life into her.

It's like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to finally start contributing financially and acquiring the skills to generate a bigger income. He is apparently a quite successful day trader, and has been teaching her and a group of other people how to day trade in extreme detail. She insisted she show me what she was doing, so I let her chew my ear off for an hour about day trading, looking at her programs, charts, indicators, and all that, ranting about financial markets, etc. She's learned trading with leverage and stuff I have no clue about, but it amazes me that a woman who is too ADHD to read boring government forms and gets overwhelmed with simple adult stuff like communicating with municipalities or banks and hates math is diving headfirst into something as complex as crypto day trading. Still, she seems surprisingly knowledgeable about all this,

and knowing how long it takes her to grasp things she's not interested in, I was impressed. And she was still defiant about the whole spending inappropriate amount of time stuff. I told her she needs to cool it with the contact, but I won't stand in her way learning something that she feels is a major opportunity for her. We agreed on ground rules. No evenings or weekends, no phone calls past 6 p.m., and no one-on-one meetings, only group settings. She's been stretching these rules every now and then, but largely kept to them. When she needed to bend them, she speaks to me beforehand and gives me ample of heads up, but hides her resentment of having to follow these rules.

Still, she seems to want to keep the peace for now and is being proactive. Things have cooled down to a degree where I don't get angry anymore anytime she mentions him. Anyway, other than that she now thinks she's a pro and a future millionaire and constantly talks about trading, it's been bumpy for other reasons outside of this weird friendship. Her trading talk is annoying as shit and I still think she's got a little crush on her big traitor hero. I have grown a bit distant in the last couple months because this whole situation emotionally drained me but we are keeping things going. I know this is not the dramatic cheating and infidelity story some people were expecting. It's a pretty severe, rough patch in an average

normal people relationship. She's not cheating on me physically, I think, she might have a crush, which happens in a long-term relationship. And I have other shit to deal with at the moment that I just can't expend the energy to obsess over this every day for hours or fight this into a dramatic my way or the highway conclusion. I don't want to blow our marriage up just to satisfy other people's personal convictions on how a relationship should be like. It's shit right now, but it's our shit. My instinct tells me it's a passing fancy, and if things go sideways still, I can always walk out. This will be my last and only update. I hope you enjoy this story and is requesting that I hand over my future child to my sterile

relative because my spouse is not of the Christian faith and we are both employed. She enlisted her religious acquaintances to monitor my activities. I, 24F, am currently eight months pregnant with a baby girl. and my aunt slash cousin have been giving me trouble since I have announced the news. My partner and I already adore our girl and have no plans to give her up, but my aunt wants me to give up my child to my cousin, who has been suffering for infertility for the past five years. For more context, my aunt has raised my sister and I as a motherly figure

after our mother passed away when we were very young. We have been quite close with our aunt slash cousin throughout our life and have been trying to support my cousin through her struggles with infertility. My aunt is also very religious being a Mormon who regularly attends church and has a very rigid, close-minded view on morality slash values and living a good life. She believes that a child deserves a strong, foundational religious upbringing with a strong, providing father and a loving, attentive mother. Since my partner is not Christian and because we both have full-time jobs and careers, she believes that my child will grow up confused and misguided in our household due to our religious differences, lacking a proper sense of identity and adequate care. She says she fears that our child's well-being will not be put first in such an environment

and that our kid could likely go down a dark, immoral path. According to her, my cousin, who works part-time from home, and her husband are way better able to provide my child with a loving home with good values and religion. I have both my aunt and cousin blocked on most forms of communication and I have moved to a new home, where they do not know the address. My partner and I also got married in a private ceremony so they won't have control over my medical decisions. Out of the two, my aunt has been more aggressively towards me and even showed up to my old apartment one day to scream and argue with me about the situation. She, in a fake nice tone, tried to get me to come with her to a cafe near the church to speak with me about the baby even when I told her there is nothing to be discussed and that I'm keeping the baby.

I spoke with the apartment manager and had to hide until she left after half an hour. My aunt also has her church friends after me. They sometimes regularly send me hostile text message and voicemails. My cousin has been on the quieter side towards me and has been struggling with depression and trauma from her latest pregnancy last year ending in a stillbirth of her baby girl after preterm labor at 30 weeks. She has been regularly posting on social media and has joined motherhood related groups. I've heard through gossip that she is trying to get a baby through those groups and has been banned from a considerable amount of them to her dismay. She had been harassing young moms and widows for their babies. My cousin is desperate for a baby to fix her family and is apparently waiting for, my name, to give birth for my baby girl, who she apparently sees her own late baby in.

My aunt and her are apparently sure that I will be overwhelmed with my decision and the responsibilities with motherhood that I will give up slash me. give more to my baby by letting my cousin and her husband adopt her. My aunt says that giving my baby to my cousin shouldn't be as hard as it could be because we are family and that I could have a baby later on as I am still young and have plans to attend grad school after working for a while. My cousin also apparently wants to get into contact as we had before my pregnancy. I will not be speaking to her again until after I give birth to see where she is then and to prevent further stress during my pregnancy.

I have been very supportive of her through her infertility journey and generally liked her more than my aunt growing up, but her behavior and thinking have shocked me and are making me fear for my safety. I am planning a big wedding party for next year since my partner and I privately got married this year and I am not sure if my cousin slash aunt would be invited and able to come. I have a lot of family support from both sides right now apart from those who are close to them and on their side, but I'm not sure if that support will be as strong in a year and what my relationship. with my aunt slash cousin will be then. I have skipped some family events that I know they will be at, but I don't want to miss out on those family gatherings and fun forever. I'm not sure how the future will look like with my aunt slash cousin after my baby and the issues that arise with that.

Any support would be appreciated. Update 1, this will be a small update. We got in contact with the local church leader and talked to them about the situation with my aunt and cousin, who are both active members. We talked to him for a while. He initially dismissed my concerns as personal conflict between family and tried to refer us over to counseling services. We explained to him that my cousin is dealing with trauma from her baby's death and that she is having false hopes about adopting my baby, which would be raised in a good home. We also told him that my aunt is feeding into those hopes and has been harassing me on her behalf, causing disturbance and a lot

of stress. He told me he understood my side and that he knew what my cousin has been going through with her inability to have kids. He said he would contact my aunt and cousin to see what they have to say about the situation. I talked again with him today. He said that my aunt and cousin would like to speak with me and that they were concerned that I stopped communicating with them, especially since I moved away. I explained to him that their behavior regarding my baby influenced me to do those things and pressed him on what they said. He said that my cousin had talked with a church therapist and was looking into adoption to start a family

because her IVF treatments were likely not going to produce a child with her condition. I emphasized to him that I was not giving up my baby and that my cousin had been thinking such. He said that understood that and started asking me for personal details on how I was doing now. He was again trying to set up a meeting between us and my aunt slash cousin and referring us to services. I told him I was not comfortable with that at the moment and he told me to at least call my cousin once.

He said he will meet with my aunt on Sunday since I was too scared to do on my own. Our call ended after that. I'll comment any update on what he says in the coming days under this post. Edit 1, I am not satisfied with his response and do not like that he is putting pressure on me with reconnect with my aunt and cousin. He says he understands my concerns, but I think he is being rather than. dismissive of them and trying to force us to resolve our issues. My partner and I thought it was worth a shot reaching out to him to because he has influence and religious authority over my aunt slash cousin. I'll see what he says on the next phone call and see what I can do to make him care

more. Edit 2, to make clear, I didn't give him any personal information and have no plans for any in-person meeting with my aunt and cousin. We are in contact with legal help. We do not live in Utah. Update 2, we spoke again with the bishop. He said that there isn't much he can personally do to resolve the situation within his capacity between me and my aunt slash cousin other than refer to counseling services. I asked him if he did meet with my aunt and he said he did. Their conversation was apparently focused on my cousin and helping her heal. He told me my cousin was also grieving the loss of communication with me and my sister who hasn't been talking much to her anymore. I told him that my cousin was trying to take my baby to replace hers and that her and my

aunt's behavior was threatening the safety and well-being of me and my family. I think he was losing interest in the conversation so he just told me to do whatever I feel is best for my family. But to consider the grief my cousin has been through and contact family counseling services for further help on this matter. Me and my partner sent him an email afterwards with a copy to our lawyer to close off communication. I decided to unblock my cousin and send her a message. I told her that my partner and I are keeping our baby and that is not up for discussion. I encouraged her to seek proper therapy if she hasn't already done so and told her that I am not comfortable with her, her husband, or my aunt being involved in my child's life. She hasn't

responded yet. Regardless of what she says, our relationship will not return to as it was before and she will not be a part of my child's life. Update 3, November 25, 2024. Here is the update everyone has been waiting for. I was busy in the few last months with the birth and projects I have been working on as I recover from birth and take care of my new baby. I logged into Reddit a few times since then, but haven't gotten a chance to update. I am 25 now and my baby is almost four months old, time flies. She is doing well and brings us so much joy.

I love going on walks with her and she is growing up so fast. I am planning to go back to work soon, looking for a new job. Thank you all for the concern and well wishes, and I hope everyone is having a great time during the Thanksgiving holiday season. Now, the update that everyone is looking forward to, my cousin and aunt since my last update, my cousin and aunt went silent for a while and my cousin didn't respond to my text. In August, my aunt reached out to me through a new number and asked me how I was, and if I had the baby yet.

We talked. She was concerned about my slash baby's well-being since I distanced myself from a lot of my family and had to leave my job. I asked about my cousin. She says they have been trying to adopt a baby through their church connections, but nothing has been successful so far, because they probably just started on that. I asked about whether they consulted with a proper adoption agency but my aunt said that my cousin's husband's past may become a problem, didn't know about that, and she proceeded to rant about how the white birth rate is dropping and how people were actively denying themselves parenthood. She asked me if I still wanted the baby and got angry about ninth-month abortions. She is pro-life without exceptions. I reaffirmed to her that I did and she talked about how my cousin was getting old, but she is in her own. early 30s, and that her nest is still empty. She wanted me to at least share the joy and let me

cousin be in my daughter's life and spend time with her. I told that would not be possible due to their past behavior. I feared that my cousin would try to become her mother and let her delusions get to her again. My aunt said that my cousin was trying to become better and got some church counseling. I still told her no. She then asked me if I knew anyone or any resources to adopt a baby. I told her I didn't and that my cousin should be careful and patient with trying to become parents. My aunt emphasized how becoming parents was important to my cousin and her husband because they deserve children at this point and for their reputation since everyone around them

is reaching the parenthood milestone. She asked about my future family plans and pushed me on when I'm going to get pregnant again slash of my next child. She told me family planning was important, especially after this surprise pregnancy and asked if they could be involved next time. As the call went on, more and more of her past slash usual behavior became apparent and I was getting tired of it. I wanted to end the call, but she ended at first because she had some activity. Thankfully, I have my sister to keep me in the loop with what's happening with my aunt slash cousin and other matters regarding my family

and my old church. Everything my aunt said was apparently true about my cousin. According to my sister, my cousin's overall mental health seems to have improved from her worst, but she still has her deep depressive periods. She sometimes feels very empty with her lack of children and her worsened relationships with me and my sister. My cousin and her husband are also trying to find an IVF doctor abroad in hopes of a miracle since a lot of their options are shutting down here. My cousin apparently still views my baby as something she lost, but she believes God will give her kid soon and has been trying to get her sins forgiven. We are skipping Thanksgiving with my side of the family in a few days for obvious reasons. I am going back to the workforce soon, likely after all the

holidays. I have my childcare arrangements ready with all the necessary precautions and the future is looking good overall. Again, thank you all for your support and let me know if you have any questions about anything, Mormonism, my family, motherhood, etc. Next story, Mom chose my stepdad over me and put me in foster care. Years later my brothers found me, and one of them remembered watching my stepdad force me to eat from a dog bowl. I really need an outside perspective on whether I'd be the eye in this situation. I'm a 21-year-old male. I ended up in foster care at nine years old because of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my stepfather,

a man my mom kept choosing over me. Despite all the support and interventions that were supposed to protect me, my mom refused to kick him out. Even after she had a restraining order against him, she still led him back into our lives. Meanwhile, she went on to have two more children with this man, my half-brothers, who are now 19, Richie, and 16, James. It got to the point where it was obvious that no matter what she would keep letting him back into our lives and allowing me to be his scapegoat of anything that was wrong in life and I ended up being removed. After I was removed from the home, my mom was allowed to keep and raise my brothers, as if nothing had happened.

From what I know, my stepdad never laid a hand on them. My mom and this man are still together, I know because I've checked her Facebook more times than I'd like to admit. Growing up, it was devastating to realize that my mom would rather give me up than fight for me. She could have kept me if she just left him, but she didn't. This abandonment left me with deep scars and a lot of issues to deal with as I grew up. It didn't help that she cut off all contact with me almost as soon as I was placed in foster care, she wouldn't even show up for court-ordered visits. Foster care was also really rough for me.

I bounced around three different families, and it wasn't until the last one that I got any therapy to help me make sense of what had happened. A few days ago, out of nowhere, I got a Facebook message from my Richie and James. They said they've been thinking about me a lot and want to get to know me. They even mentioned that our mom talks about me sometimes and wonders how I'm doing. They said he'd like to start some kind of relationship if I'm open to it. And Richie said he would be willing to drive him and James to come and visit me wherever I am in the country. They both seemed nice in this message, and I don't have an issue with either of them.

At first, I was going to ignore the message because I don't want anything to do with my biological family. But then a darker thought crossed my mind this could be my one and only chance to expose my stepdad for the monster he truly is. I could finally tell my half-brothers everything he did to me, everything he put me through, and let the truth come crashing down on them. I know that if I do this, it'll probably destroy any chance of having a relationship with them, but honestly, I'm not sure I want to. one anyway. I told my friend that I was thinking about doing this and he said it's a really bad idea that won't accomplish anything I wanted to. He said it will most likely just cause them to think I'm bitter and mean and won't make them have any issues with their dad. But while I know it would be a difficult thing to process I would want to know if my dad was like that. I would want to

know the truth about how my dad treated other children. I don't know how much they know about why I was removed into care. So, would I be the asshole if I went through with it? Update 1, Hey everyone, I wanted to come back and give you all an update. First off, thanks for all the advice and different perspectives. I really needed to hear them. So, after thinking a lot about what everyone said and after having a session with my therapist, I realized that my initial plan to tell my brothers everything about my stepdad wasn't really about helping them. It was more about me still holding on to the anger and hurt from my past, and that's not fair to them. A lot of you pointed out that they probably don't know the full story and are innocent and all this.

And honestly, that hit hard. I decided to reach out to my Richie brother and told him I'd like to meet up. I didn't mention anything about our mom or the stepdad situation. I figured if we were going to start a relationship, it's better to take things slow and not dump all that heavy stuff on them right away. We ended up meeting at a cafe. I was super nervous, but when I saw them, it actually felt nice. They were both really nice, and we just talked about normal stuff, like what we've been up to, our favorite football teams, that sort of thing. It was weirdly easy to chat with them. At one point, the James asked why I was placed in foster care. That caught me off guard, but I decided to keep it vague and just said that things were complicated at home back then, and that going into care was what was best for me at the time.

James started pushing a bit for more details, but the Ritchie told him to knock it off, which honestly was a relief. By the end of it, I was glad I went. They asked if we could stay in touch, and I said yes. I'm still figuring out how much to share about what happened, but for now, I'm just trying to find out. I'm just trying to find out. focus on building a relationship with them. I realize that while the past is important, it doesn't have to dictate how things go with them now. So yeah, thanks again to everyone who helped me see things clearer. I'm feeling a lot more hopeful about this, and I'm really glad I didn't just go with my gut reaction to tell them everything right off the bat. We'll see where things go from here,

but I'm cautiously optimistic. Update 2. Before anything, I read a lot of your comments. So many were saying I was selfish for wanting to expose my stepdad, and then so many were saying I was a coward for not. Some people were saying I was allowing the abuser to get away with it by not telling my brothers. I had DMs calling me an abuse apologist. People calling me a liar for not answering the question James asked when we first met. I never said I wasn't ever going to talk to them about my past. literally in my last post I said I was still working on sharing my past in a healthy way with help from my therapist and yet I had people acting like they knew best and that I should

just tell them both right away. So many people arguing about it one way or the other. It does seem like everything I do there will be issues. I will upset someone. I know that and I am trying to navigate this in my own way, so please be respectful of that. Even if you would have done it a way. I am in no way letting S.D. get away with the abuse. I tried everything I could as a child slash teen to get him prosecuted. I have accepted that that will never happen. Just know I am a real person who reads the comments, not everything I do is perfect. But please just be kind. I don't say this to stop people from giving me advice, I love advice. Just be positive and kind. I don't need more negativity anyway.

In the week since my last post I have met up with my brothers three more times. Once with both, and two times it has been just me and Richie. There seems to have been an instant bond between us, something that I didn't even know I wanted. I am loving hanging out with them, which is amazing because I didn't even think I ever wanted to see any of my family again. Never mind start to develop a good relationship with some of them. When I last met up with Richie alone, we went to go see a movie and then get something to eat. We spoke about our plans and what he does now. And we got talking about me and foster care.

I asked him what he had been told about me growing up. He said they haven't been told much, but that mom sometimes talks about me. I asked him what he remembered of me and why I was taken into care. He said he has some memories, fuzzy memories and clear memories. but he said he didn't know for certain what happened. He said he remembered a lot of fighting and arguing between me and SD. He said he had one very clear memory of me, but said he didn't know whether it was appropriate for him to share it or not.

He asked me what I remembered, and I said it was difficult for me to talk about with people. He said he understood if I didn't want to get into it. I asked him what his clear memory was, he remembered me being about eight years old, my SD stripping me naked and putting me in a dog's collar and making me eat dog food. He said he remembered his dad hitting me with his belt as I was eating out the dog bowl and crying. This actually happened many times for me growing up, but he said he only remembered it once. I started crying and he apologized for bringing it up, and I said don't. I was glad he at least remembered some things of my abuse.

He said he guessed that the abuse by SD was the reason I was taken away. I said yeah. I asked if S.D. ever abused either of them and he said he hadn't ever. But he said he wasn't close to either my mom or his dad. He said they weren't ever amazingly loving people, but never abused them. He said he was sorry again. We spoke some more about our childhood. I felt safer talking about the abuse since he already remembered some of it.

We spoke a bit more about it, I tried answering questions he had and he answered some of of mine. He asked if the trauma still impacts me now, and I said, yeah. I was open with him that I've attempted to end my own life multiple times because of it. He apologized for not being there for me, for not sticking up for me. I said nothing that happened was his fault or my fault and that we can't change the past. After we finished, we both went to our own homes. He messaged me saying he's glad I grew up and that I managed to keep living he meant it sweetly, I think, even though it came off a little weird. I feel really amazing that I have a brother who seems to care about me, I couldn't even have imagined he would have liked me a few weeks ago. I hope you

enjoy this story. Spouse demands that I consider either initiating an open relationship or parting ways due to my reluctance to engage in intimate activities on a daily basis. I, a 33-year-old woman, and my partner, a 38-year-old man, have been in a relationship for nine years, and married for six. We have two sons, four and three. A little bit about our marriage, I stopped working when I became pregnant with our first son, and never went back to work because we haven't needed it. My husband makes a 400K working from home with a very flexible schedule. I tend to do more of the childcare since I don't work, but honestly not that much more. He loves spending time with our children, has a rather intense personality when it comes to organization, so he's

very pro-cleaning, and one of his greatest passions, along with sex, is cooking, so he plans and cooks more than half of our meals. We still have our ups and downs, of course, but overall we're both very patient and caring people and, up to this point, a very patient and caring relationship. Our views on child rearing a line more or less entirely, and my entire family absolutely love him. His family is not in the picture, he grew up extremely poor in an unstable household. Before I got pregnant, we had sex 10 plus times a week as a baseline. Of course, sometimes one of us was too busy, or stressed, or physically unwell, and that was never a problem.

All things usual, though, we had sex more than once a day for years. Then we decided to have children. We both loved children, and knew that this would change almost every element of our lives. in marriage. In conversations around this, we did discuss the likelihood of sex being less frequent for a while, and it didn't seem like a big deal. During the pregnancy, we continue to have pretty regular sex. That changed drastically once my son was born. I felt like I had zero libido, but my husband was extremely understanding at the time. He said that I just grew a human, so it makes sense for my body to be prioritizing different things. He was more or less happy with more

sporadic sex for the next two years, and I thought everything was fine. Once our youngest was around 18 months, he started to instigate more mornings and nights again. I turned him down a decent amount because I just wasn't feeling any desire for sex. After a couple months of this, he asked me what he could do to help me get my drive back to what it used to be. He asked this gently, and I didn't respond as well as I could have. It was upsetting in the moment, and we ended up having really the first big fight of our marriage over it. We both ended up apologizing, but it was only a couple weeks later that he instigated another talk about it. Mind you, it's not like we never have sex. We're probably having sex two to three times a week. He suggested that we get couples

therapy and that maybe I should see an endocrinologist. I responded better this time, and agreed. Hormone panels came back regular, so we tried a couple different therapists for a few sessions each. Both basically said his expectations were unrealistic and partnerships are about compromise. In those sessions my husband's response was that he isn't ready to compromise on something that's so important to him. He was asked if it's more important to him than having a healthy marriage, and while he said no, in hindsight there was some definite hesitancy. Over the following months I noticed a decrease in emotional affection on his end. It's hard to put a finger on, and for a while I told myself it was just in my head. He's still attentive, caring, and affectionate, but there is just a lack of depth in the intimacy

compared to the past seven to eight years. He also stoked initiating sex as often, which I was hope was just him becoming more comfortable with some level of compromise. But I approached the subject with him he said that getting rejected multiple times a week wasn't healthy for his emotional disposition. So he's balancing how much he initiates with how much rejection he can handle. Obviously I was happy to hear this, and I explained. to him that I wasn't rejecting him out of any lack of love or desire for him.

He said he knew that, but kind of brushed it off still. I've tried to get him to go to therapy by himself, but he insists that everyone has different method for processing things, and therapy isn't one of his. So things continued like this for the rest of the year, and to be honest I kind of thought this was it. Then comes last night. He walked into our room after putting the kids down, we take turns reading them books before bedtime, and said he needed to have a serious discussion. I immediately knew it was going to be

about sex, because the only times in the nine years I've known him that he says we need to talk with such somber dread, it's about our sex life. I was not at all prepared for what he said, though. Through tears, this is the first time I've ever seen him cry from sadness. He said that he wasn't built to be in a relationship that didn't regularly express love through sex. He said that he would always love me, and that I'd always be the mother of his children, but he can't and won't go on like this. He told me that he believes there are only two options. Either we divorce and continue to co-parent, or we open up the marriage and he finds someone else to have sex with multiple times a week. Transparently, the first half of the ensuing conversation is a bit of blur

because of how emotional it was. I went from being devastated bordering pathetic, to furious with more rage than I've ever felt in my life. I said some things I regret and didn't mean. He stayed relatively calm throughout it, but he did say that he wouldn't have a conversation with me if I kept yelling. Eventually I calmed down and begged him to try and rekindle our sex life. I even tried to initiate right there, which is incredibly embarrassing now, which he rejected. He said he was open to working on getting our sex life back to a place that was happy for both of us, but that can't mean me having sex when I don't really want to, and that he has needs he has to go get elsewhere for now. I told him I didn't want to open up our marriage,

and begged him more to work it out. He said he needed some space and he was going to go stay with a friend of his for the night. I texted him early that morning to let him know not to come, and that I was going to take the kids to visit my parents for a couple days. He was hesitant but agreed to let me take them for a while I process. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose this marriage, but the thought of him sleeping with other people hurt so fucking much. I don't know what I'm looking for, or if there's any advice to be had. I feel like my world is collapsing and it's my fault.

My parents know something is wrong because of how distressed I am, and even worse both of our sons can tell. I've tried to hide it, but I'm a mess. My husband says if we stayed together and he felt rejected regularly, he'll end up presenting me and that it's better for our children to have separate parents than resentful ones. Should I open up the marriage or move forward with divorce? Update 1. I don't have the time to respond to individual comments at the moment but I will tomorrow.

Thank you for all of your advice and support. I've spent most of the day talking with my mom while my dad took the kids on an adventure. I love my mom so much, she is such a rock. I do think we are heading for divorce, but I don't want it to be one of animosity. A lot of the comments are well-meaning but really assume the worst of my husband. His position on sex is extremely immature and selfish. I can see that now, and I don't have to forgive him for it. He is also incredibly loving and kind person who has supported me through thick and thin. He holds himself to obsessively high standards, and while people will say I'm native, I know this man well and I can't imagine him bearing the guilt of adultery. He simply thinks too high of

and is too sensitive. He is staying at his, married, friend from college, he is godfather to their three children. His wife has already reached out to offer support if I want to talk since she knows we are going through trouble. I don't think it's a stretch to say he will regret this, but to those that think he is going to have trouble finding people to sleep with and run back to me. Well, he was a regular in a sex and BDSM communities in his 20s before we met. I knew this from early on, and never stopped exercising six days a week. I would like to tell myself that he would come running back after realizing it's hard out there,

but I just don't think that's the case. I think his view of the world is that if he does what is asked of him, he can ask the world to have his cake and eat it too. Four people saying to take him for everything he has. I'm going to talk to a divorce lawyer this week. I will, of course, do my due diligence, but he has always been generous with his money, with charities, friends, etc., and loves his children as much as I do. I do not say that lightly.

I'm not going to try and ruin him, as some have suggested. We are still going to be co-parents even if we separate, and I want to handle this with maturity. If we don't see eye to eye, then I won't shy away from court, but I honestly think he will sign whatever number I give if it's remotely fair. He is a bad partner for A's decision, but you don't know him like I do and he isn't a bad man. I've watched him struggle to figure this out and he is too selfish to accept the obvious answer, but it isn't for lack of remorse. Just, Ike, immense selfishness and a will that believes the world can be what he wants, while also wanting it to be one of love and compassion.

If that makes sense. Thank you again, we'll respond to comments when I have time. Update 2. There are so many more comments and DMs than I could have imagined. Many of you have offered great advice and support. Many of you are well-meaning, but have obviously been hurt and are projecting some of your anger onto a situation rather than providing advice for the context provided. To everyone with good intentions, though, I thank you so, so much.

To the misogynistic slash incels slash creeps that invariably come out of the woods, fuck you. My husband wants to meet and talk this evening. I'm going to meet him. I'll give one more update. after we meet, if that's allowed? There are too many comments at this point to respond to them. To answer some questions that seem genuine. One, yes, he is obsessive, and yes, he is childhood trauma. These things don't excuse him from what I now realize was an entirely unacceptable decision

to give me an ultimatum. Two, to say that the sex is good for me when WW do have it would be an understatement. I'm not going to get into the details, but his appetite for life and energy is one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He definitely has an atypical view of sex beyond his extreme high libido. He'd describe his view as not being orgasm-oriented, and he often does an orgasm. Strangely, that's not the important part for him.

I used to joke that he has sex like he cooks. Most of the best meals, and all of the best sex, I've ever had have come from him. Three. The advice here has made me realize that we are probably going to get devoid. and no matter what he needs therapy. He's so high functioning that I never really thought he needed it.

But some of you have made some excellent points and my mind has completely changed on that. No matter what I love him and he will always be the father of our beautiful children, so I will try to convince him to go to therapy even with us divorced. Four, I'm not going to spend more time on the infidelity. I'm sure some people are sincerely trying to help, but there's obviously nothing I can say to convince many people that I'm not not entirely native or wearing rose-colored glasses. That's fine. I'm sure denial is the first step is true for lots of adultery survivors. Internet Strangers Project

It's What We Do. Five. Yes, my libido was matching his pace for years, but I think a key difference may be that I wasn't like that before I met him. When we started dating, his friends endearingly called him slut because he slept with a lot of women. I knew all this. I was his first serious relationship at 29 years old, and I liked that. I always felt like his friends treated me a little special because of it. In hindsight, we should have talked about the inevitable eventual decline in sex frequency. I remember looking across the table from him on one of our first dates when he said I eat a lot of great food and have a lot of great sex. At 24, it sounded like he had figured out what was important.

Now at 33, I don't think he's matured appropriately to recognize there are so many more important things. I feel sorry for both of us that this is the case. Six, reading divorce literally hundreds of times in the comments has helped, I think. It still doesn't feel real, but I don't feel uncontrollable devastation every time I think about it now. I'm trying to digest that is probably where my life is heading. I want the divorce to be one that is led with love. I don't care that internet strangers think that is impossible. He may not be capable of living the life I want, but he's capable of that.

Also, so many people are saying I should tell everyone why we are getting divorced. It's just another point that none of you know him. I promise he will tell them. He will say we were no longer sexually compatible. There will be shock, but probably not as much as I wish. He is an incredible friend and godfather to more than one set of friends' children. They will stick by him, just like he would stick by them. Final update. So many people have expressed interest in an update, and I do feel somewhat indebted to those of you who gave

advice and perspectives that have actually helped me. I wasn't really expecting my post to end up influencing me in any way, but it did make a difference. Our slash relationship underscore advice clearly stated in their rules that only one update is allowed, so I'm writing one here. I will pay it forward and try to offer advice when I can to others from my main account. This will be my final update. Before I met my husband last night, I read every single comment and DM. Yes, every single one. With that in my head, I drove the hour to our home, leaving the kids at my parents.

I went in with multiple intentions, but overall I wanted to keep my composure. I was scared to be hopeful, but I knew that deep down I was yearnful. for this to be a conversation where we felt connected. When I walked in, he was already sitting at the table. Jesus Christ. He looked like shit. This is a man who is typically hypercomposed, so before words were even said I had already never see him like this. He tried to ask me how I was doing and how the boys are. I was blunt that the boys are fine having a snow day, and that he was the one who asked me to come here, so tell me what you want to say. The way I said it didn't feel good is there was an air of coldness that is just so foreign to how

either of us speak to each other, but it's how it came out. He started by apologizing and saying that he could have done better at organizing his feelings and presenting what he thought our only remaining options were. I didn't read too much into this because he almost always thinks he could have done better in every situation in hindsight and is rarely satisfied with how he performs. Then the surprise. He said that he thought about it, and that opening the marriage wouldn't fix anything, and that it was a desperate and frantic idea he had thought the night before. He said the only way forward is for us to separate. He said he had already gotten three months on paid leave approved from work to handle things. He was breaking up a little bit already,

and I was doing, gee, my best to not let that make me start breaking up because one of my goals was to try and stay calm. Part of me regrets my next move, and to be honest I know I did it because of some of the advice. I looked him in the eyes and asked him if he already found someone to sleep with. It felt cruel after I said it because I didn't believe he had and it obviously only hurt him further. Of course he said no, and asked me if I thought he was capable of that. I told him I didn't know what he was capable of anymore. More hurt. My emotional composure was also pretty much ruined when I said that because it made me start to cry, but at least not sobbing this time. He said the same things he said last time I saw him, that he would always

love me, and that more important than anything is that I will always be our son's mother. We were both crying, but controllably, when the next thing came out of my mouth before I could even process it. I asked him if he's really ready to completely miss half of their lives. I knew obviously we were going to talk about our sons, but that question wasn't premeditated. It was a bomb. The last time I saw him was the first time I say him cry from sadness, but it was controlled crying. The only words he managed to squeeze out where I don't know what to do, and then absolute breakdown. It isn't that I was anyway surprised by his love for our boys.

I've known that since day one. I just honestly have never thought he was capable of losing control to the degree that followed, though. He was sobbing uncontrollably. Just as bad as I had the night he sprung the ultimatum. him. Probably worse. In that moment, I didn't know what to do. My heart was breaking for him and I wanted to hold and cradle him like he's always done for me in that state. I was also still very angry at him, fair or not. I don't know how long I sat there, but I couldn't watch it that long before I was also crying harder and then just saying that I was sorry. I told him I don't want to lose him.

That he's the only person I want to wake up to every morning and share breakfast with our boys. He just said again and again that he didn't know what to do. I don't need to give further play by play, but it feels important, and pleasantly vulnerable, to share that. When the heavy crying passed, we kept talking and I eventually brought up that his friends, J, wife had reached out to me. He said that he had shared everything with both of them. This wasn't a surprise given he was best man at their wedding and godfather to their children,

and to the comments suggesting my husband was sleeping with literally his 20-year best. friend's wife, I'm sorry for the gross world you live in. I asked what their advice was. They both said they would love him no matter what happened, but he should really get a therapist. I asked if he was going to. He first response was that he didn't want to, but a couple moments after that he said that if both of them think he needs one, then he's sure they are right and he's going to find one that works for him. This felt like all the light I've been looking for in this dark chapter. In hindsight, I wish we would have involved any of his close friends earlier. They are his family. He respects my advice and seeks it out,

but I was another party in the matter and from his mind my suggestions were just that. Now the people he loves and respects, and he believes they understand him, which is a list of like five people, have told him to go seek therapy for his relationship to sexual expression and validating love. As soon as he said he was going to try therapy I grabbed his hands and swore I would work harder to give him what he needs. I told him that I can't. I told him that I can't view my life with anyone but him and I don't want either of us to miss a Christmas or birthday or any other important moment in our son's lives. I told him let's go to Europe for a month. We've been once since the kids were born but we took both of them and it was kind of a visit

our friends in Europe who want to meet our kids tour. Also this was an idea I remember reading from a comment so, thank you. I promised many more things and meant them. We let my parents know I wouldn't be coming back for the boys tonight. I've overshared this experience in a way that is really weird and I won't ever do again, but it feels good. I'll leave the rest between my husband and I. I told my husband about the post and asked if it was okay with him if I wrote an update about what happened. He was concerned about anonymity, but I explained all the info I had given and decided he didn't care,

which is his way of saying he does care but he chooses not to care because he controls his relationship to control, not the other way around. He warily, with a touch of self-aware humor that's so on brand for him, asked if he wanted to see the post and replies. I told him he doesn't, to which he laughed and said okay. He doesn't use Reddit or any social media, since he knows how the sausage is made. Neither of us are fools. We have a long road ahead and there is no guarantee it will work.

But I'm going to try harder. Reading the comments made me realize some of this was indeed my fault. Not necessarily for doing anything wrong, but for misjudging what was at stake. I knew my husband felt bad about himself when he laid next to me wanting physical intimacy and knowing I didn't. I truly didn't know, and maybe to a degree didn't listen, to how bad it hurt him. To say he overanalyzes things would be an insult to the franking incredible ability his mind has for assessing so many possibilities, seemingly at the same time. He's been laying in bed with that feeling just building and building this isn't about

physical sexual release. Masturbating, or even fucking someone else wasn't going to release this. My husband is a hypersexual being and that's okay. I love him entirely, including that part, and I need to do a lot more work to be better positioned to get into a mood of sexual desire more often. But he needs to not feel explosive rage at himself on the inside when he doesn't receive the sexual intimacy every night. If we didn't have kids, I would feel less optimistic. I told him this is not impossible though, and we can work on this together. We've always been a team at everything else. We have to be a team here.

This is now kind of a meandering rant, so I'll close it up with a few random points I thought about because of this thread. So many people have asked, and he said I could share. My husband is a network engineer. He taught himself to code as a teenager, for less than savory reasons, but he lived in slums and ethics are complicated. and got a full ride to one of the top programs in the country. Financially speaking, he's had a cushy life ever since. His words. I know he is damn good at what he does,

but he also benefits from always handling finances like an obsessive analyst with a huge ego. Also his words less than three. The most common response by far was that I should divorce him, with about half of those saying I should do it happily and basically he sucks slash as a posse with no respect for me or women. These made me reread my post more than anything. Maybe there was some unintentional villainizing of my husband in my post, but I tried my best to give the situation and describe his character. As a social experiment, I wonder if it would have been any different if I specially mentioned his second most contributed charity as a women's and

children's shelter, entirely due to his childhood trauma, but still sweet. This is going to be the most controversial piece, but fuck it. Reddit Love Spice In total transparency, there is very much a sense of desire to control my body from my husband. The interest is purely based on the premise of enthusiastic consent. It's a part of him, though, and I've known, and mostly admired, his relationship to that part of himself for most of my time knowing him. The same date when he told me that he has a lot of great sex and eats a lot of great food,

he asked me what my relationship to control was. It's an interesting thing for everyone to think about. He told me then and there that his relationship with control was very intense, that he is very sensitive to not wanting to coerce anyone in to be controlled because he furiously opposes anyone trying to do that to him. He knows it's in his personality, and he tries to be very self-aware of it, especially when interacting with friends and most importantly our sons. You cannot understand my husband without understanding this.

He tracks everything about it. his life. He journals every night and keeps all entries for the past 20 plus years of his life in a private server that he runs in our basement. He runs data analytics on it, just as he does with our finances and practically any other information he can coalesce. People asked if he is neural divergent. Well, he isn't socially challenged at all, but he certainly isn't a normal person if that's the question. He also has had a serious sleeping disorder since he was a young child and only sleeps like four hours a night, yet still has way too much energy. He is beyond special, and I love him and I'm grateful to be with him. Many of you made sure to remind me of how

special he is. Many of you hated him, but if you knew him, I think very few of you would feel that way. Even if you did, he's my husband, and I deeply hope we can make it stay that way. I'm going to do everything in my power to keep it that way. As one person messaged me, fuck your husband. No, seriously, girl. Please do whatever work you need to do to help you fuck your husband. You both deserve it. Thank you everyone who helped and those who tried. I hope you enjoy this story.

Close companion turned into a suspicious conspiracy enthusiast, accused me of being an undercover operative for the government, and then appeared at my residence and struck my vehicle with a mallet. My spouse, 31M, and I, 31M, have known our friend Dylan, 32M, since grade school. Dylan was in our wedding party, he was one of my husband's groomsmen. We've been so close. He's like a brother to us. Dylan was one of the most intelligent, down-to-earth, adventurous people we knew.

He studied hard in school to become an engineer and he worked hard at that for a number of years. He went to Everest and climbed a base camp. He started up an app and it got really big and popular and ended up selling it and making a ton of money. He's traveled the world. Anyways, you get it. He's done really well for himself and he's been a good friend to my husband and I back in 2020. When COVID was really bad and running rampant, Dylan ended up getting laid off. He still had quite a bit of money so he wasn't really worried about it.

But he spent a lot of time alone. Like a lot. And my husband and I really think that that time alone got to him. Within the year, he became really against COVID restrictions. He'd fight the system, he refused to get his vaccinations and bought into all of the conspiracy theories. And because he didn't get his vaccinations, he couldn't find a job that would accept him, because at the time, a lot of jobs were requiring you to be vaccinated. On top of that, we had our first baby and we weren't being super strict on visitations,

but we preferred people to be vaccinated. So because he wasn't vaccinated, he didn't get to see our firstborn for about a year or so. But during that time, Dylan ended up telling us some wild stories about his life and what was happening. He kept telling us that he could hear this drilling sound in his apartment. He looked all over his apartment for what was causing this sound. He said it drove him nuts when he was trying to sleep because that's when it was the loudest. He said the drilling wasn't all of the time but usually at strange hours of the night. He finally discovered the location of the noise and it was right underneath his bed.

Then he ended up hearing banging. And the floor was vibrating. He tells us that the woman who lived below him was trying to drill their way up to his apartment through the floor. Then somehow he came to the conclusion that this person was. was trying to kill him. From there it really escalated, but at the time, we fully believed him. We didn't think anything was wrong with him because he even had video evidence of this drilling sound. Later it turns out that this person underneath him was just doing some renovations at weird hours of the day because they were a nurse and they work strange hours.

Anyways, he tells us that the apartment is lives and is actually used for trafficking and he was making a bunch of allegations about the apartment building owner and then somehow he dragged his dad into it. Yes, this all seems far-fetched, but at the time, we fully believed him and supported him. I mean, Dylan was terrified. I mean, he would come over to our house, and he'd cry in my arms. Before this, I had never seen him cry or show emotion like that. He had always had his head on his shoulders. I mean. Well, once he dragged his dad into it, he texted us one day and said that he was getting committed and he didn't know when he'd be out. Yes, committed as in one flew over the cuckoo's nest. Straight jacket. Added walls. Yeah. But he had this explanation for it.

He said that he had found out information on this apartment owner and how it connected to his father and now these people were trying to silence him and it was a whole big thing and so much bigger than what we understood. He said he didn't want to tell us too much because it would drag us into it and he didn't want to endanger us. But when he got out, we allowed him over to tell his story, but he made us power down all of our electronics. Well, at this point, my husband and I are kind of like, I'm not sure how we feel about this, but we don't want to just not be there for him because he's our best friend and we care for him. We want to be able to support him and parts of his story are still making sense. He's connecting the dots. He's like these people threw me in the

luney bin to shut me up. They gave me some pills to make me lose my mind. And now at the time, my husband and I were like, wow, yes, we've seen the movies. This checks out. This makes sense. But then we asked ourselves, well, why? Why is Dylan so important? Why would they care about Dylan? He's just one guy. We're sure people who are into dark things like whatever Dylan was tapping into deal with little guys all the time and can just brush them off.

And then we thought, well, yeah, what better way to deal with the little guy than to make them seem like they're crazy, isolate them and have them doubt themselves. So time goes on and Dylan ends up selling his apartment and getting out of the building because he believed people in the building were trying to kill him. He goes to live with his aunt, who is the only person in his family who was talking to him at the time because he's accused his dad of some pretty heavy shit. And in that time, he gets committed another two times. He's in the mental health facility for 30-plus days at a time. After a while at his aunts, he then somehow brings up how his aunt is feeding in

to these people who are trying to silent him and kill him. But he doesn't blame her because he said she's probably doing it because they control the money she's getting for her long-term disability. Okay. We guess that could check out. But now my husband and I are sort of like, perhaps there's something wrong with Dylan. Don't ask us why it took us this long to kind of reach this conclusion, but we really wanted to support and believe him. So my husband and I switched gears and just wanted to listen to him. We were like, okay, he just needs someone to talk to. So we'll just listen.

But clearly there's something going on with Dylan. So now we're in 2023, March. Dylan comes over to our place to see our secondborn. He actually looks good. He's starting to look healthy and more like himself. Before this, he was on some medication that made him gain some weight, which was also unlike him. But medication can't be helped with that. Sometimes medication can be bad for making people gain weight, especially meds that are supposed to help with your mental health. I was on antidepressants a few years back and it made me gain weight like mad. So I went off of them. Now I will say that between 2020 and deck of 2022 Dylan was looking rough. I mean, he'd come over to our place and he'd look all sketched out and his lips and eyes would be twitching.

And he just looked like he was on the brink of crying and being emotional all of the time. This was unusual of us to see Dylan was always the strong guy in our friendship. He'd always be the guy you'd go to who would have all of the answers. So it was odd being on the other side of this. Anyways, he breaks it to us that his sister died of an overdose and he thinks that she was given something that was laced with something. and in the same conversation, he spills the beans that his sister was schizophrenic. Bingo!

There it is. My husband and I's light bulb goes off and we sort of glance at each other and suddenly it all makes sense. Then he says that he's moving about 12 hours away to the coast. He said he has to get away from here because he's being watched. He said that he can hear a woman on his phone trying to talk to him when he's talking to someone else. He said he can hear this same woman on the radio when he's driving around listening to music. Then he tells us that there's an older woman at this bar across the street from his aunts. And these people who were trying to kill him hired her to act as a bartender to drug him and listen to him ranting at the bar.

He said she asks him a bunch of questions that suggest she knows what the answers are, but she's just testing him to make sure that he doesn't say anything he shouldn't. My husband and I just sort of nod along with this. So then he tells us that he's moving away to live in this trailer park and live the rest of days with peace and quiet on the coast. He said he has enough money to live humbly. So we're both like wow. Good for you, man. Get away from all of this BS.

Then he's on the coast for a few months and he calls my husband and he's crying and he's saying that he tried to get a little job at this laundromat just for something to do, but the guy at the laundromat was talking to him and he knew too much about Dylan. Dylan was crying on the phone and he said that this TV crew is also trying to film him and they installed cameras in his car and outside his trailer. So my husband is trying to calm him down and he's just listening to him at this point. And Dylan's like I can't trust anyone. This is my reality. And I can hear this going on and it just all solidifies exactly what we've been thinking and our hunting. Surely, Dylan has schizophrenia too. I mean, a camera crew.

Dylan, honey, you need help. Then he ends up getting kicked out of his trailer park for starting a fight with some other resident and he's forced to come back. But he doesn't have a place to live. So he shacks up in some hotel. But he's not telling us where. He also asked to come over for coffee a few times, but we both said we were busy and that it wasn't. a good time with a new baby. And he told us that on his the drive back, a camera crew in their cars followed him all the way back. And they ended up staying in the same hotel as him.

And they snuck cameras into his room. Well, at this point, we're debating telling his parents because we're not just if they even know how bad it's getting. We don't hear from him for the longest time. We reach out to him. No answer. We call and leave men. messages. No answer. So we start to get a little worried until one day we get a group message. But in the group message, Dylan says back off CIA scumbags, should never have trusted you. And so my husband and I kind of look at each other like, did he just call us members of the CIA? And then he blasts us on social media and calls us CIA and says that we can't be trusted. And we get people messaging us like, is Dylan okay?

And we're like, do we tell them what's been going on? And so we chose not to tell them because we didn't want to slander his name, but we basically said that he's going through some stuff. He's just still stressed about his sister's passing. People bought it. But we sadly ended up having to block him on social media. He was just saying some ruthless stuff about us and literally calling us the CIA and that we were feeding them information about him. Why? Ike. Ike what information we would have on him that we could

possibly give to the CIA. And if we even were the CIA, we wouldn't be living in our three-bedroom little single-family home, I tell you that much. So then a few weeks after that, we get another message sent from him to the same group chat. This time, he says if we don't back off, he's going to get our kids taken away. Well, that was that. My husband basically responded and said, We love you, Dylan, but you need help. Please don't text or call us again. Then Dylan sends another text and he says,

Watch your backs. And after that, we take screenshots and block him on everything. I then call the police and I tell them what happened. They tell us we did everything right and if we want, we can file something that would get him committed again because we have reason to believe that he needs some help mentally and needs to speak to someone to get better. So I go down to the courthouse to get that figured out.

But right as I come back, I pull up to our house and I see Dylan at the front door with a hammer in his hand. He starts running up to my SUV and he's screaming at me, my babies are in the car, and he's like, you fed them everything. I told you everything and I trusted you and you gave them all of the insider information. Then he goes on about how he's on a game show and he's the best game. contestant they've had yet and he's really going to give them a show. And he starts hitting my SUV with a hammer. I'm trying to dial the police and back up at the same time, but he's just following out of the driveway. Both of my babies are screaming their heads off at this point.

I'm shaking and crying and trying to tell the cops where I live and what's going on. Within minutes, they show up and have poor Dylan at gunpoint and he's dropped to the grass and he's laying there while they're putting handcuffs on him. The hammer is on the ground. My windshield is all smashed up and the hood of my SUV is destroyed. I call my husband and I tell him what happened. He's literally livid and says not to go anywhere in that Hess coming home ASAP. While they're taking Dylan away and putting him into the back of the car, he's screaming at nothing and he's saying, are you not entertained? I want my bonus. I want my bonus. And I'm sitting in the SUV trying to soothe my babies, but I'm also bawling at this point

wondering how the heck some guy like Dylan just got to this point and how our mental health facilities fail people like this by not giving them the proper help and aid and offer services that help them get better and it just ends up putting not only them but other people in danger. The cops ask me if I want to press charges and I said yes. It killed me to say yes, but I did. That night, I end up calling his mom and she answers and we tell her everything that's happened, like lay it on her. And she tells me that I'm not the only one to call her and tell her this. She said that unfortunately her and Dylan's dad have done all they can do and it's really out of their hands.

She said that the facilities just don't hold them long enough and don't seem to be helping. She said it can take years for them to figure out the proper medication. and then that only works if he chooses to take the medication, which he hasn't. She just kept apologizing and she feels so, so bad, and she said that we should get a restraining order and stay clear of him. She said that we did our best and he's so lucky to have friends like us who listen and support him. And she starts crying and telling me that she's lost not only her daughter but her son and it's been so hard.

I just feel terrible. Mental health is no joke. We ended up getting a restraining order and we haven't heard from Dylan since. I mean, that could also be because he's currently committed or something, but yeah. I still feel scared. Whenever the doorbell rings, I'm scared that it's him. We invested in some more cameras and a heavier duty security system. It's hard.

We feel sad, angry, and all the emotions. He's just not someone we recognize anymore. We miss the old Dylan. We wish there was more we could do, but we have to prioritize the safety of our own family. He's not our responsibility. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Accidentally found 280 emails proving my wife was cheating on me with my best friend,

so I tricked them both into a group dinner, exposed everything and cleaned them out in the divorce. I, 34 male, met my wife, 33 female, 10 years ago at a small art gallery in the city. My best friend, let's call him Oliver, was an artist and he was showing a piece there. My wife was there with one of her friends and I approached her as soon as I saw her. I thought she was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen and I had to be with her. My wife's friend, let's call her Mia, actually ended up going home with Oliver that night. Somehow Oliver and I ended up marrying best friends. We thought it was funny, but it was really perfect for all four of us.

We went on double dates together all the time, we took trips together, and we even planned vacations together. The four of us were practically inseparable. My wife was a librarian, so she didn't have much opportunity to travel for work. However, I worked in advertising and I traveled often to film commercials. We were used to my schedule for the most part. Oliver and Mia both worked from home on a business that I ran together online. So, when I was gone, I knew that my wife spent a lot of time with Oliver and Mia.

I didn't mind it at all, I was glad that she had somebody there to keep her company. During one of the work trips that I had planned, my computer had an issue with the screen so I sent it to Geek Squad to have it repaired. While I was gone, I took my wife's computer since she rarely used it at home anyway. I got to my hotel room when my plane landed and went to use the computer to check some emails and get some work done. You can always tell when somebody clears a history on something. My wife didn't use the computer a lot, but I knew that she used it. There should have been histories of Christmas gifts she was planning on buying, bookstores, and her personal email accounts. However, the history was completely blank.

I was a little curious about why she cleared the history before giving me the computer. Granted, it was her personal computer and she probably looked things up that she didn't want me to know about. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would have cleared my history before giving my computer to my wife. I didn't give it too much thought after that because I didn't think that my wife would do anything sketchy. However, moments later I accidentally logged into her email using the saved information that she had instead of using my own. It sounds convenient, but it genuinely was an accident. I was so used to using my credentials that way that I just pressed okay without giving it a second thought. I went to log out of it right away when I realized, but then I saw an email exchange between my wife and Oliver.

The message in the inbox was the most recent one out of a 280 email chain. I knew that they were friends. All four of us were. But I had no idea that they were having private conversations with each other. It struck me as very odd. I clicked on it to see what it was, and I was completely broken by what I found. They were having an affair with each other. They were sending each other explicit videos and images through email.

and planning the times when they would be able to get together. I didn't read through all the messages, but I did look at some of the first ones that they sent to try and figure out when it started. The affair had been going on for two years. Anytime I was away from home, Oliver and my wife took that opportunity to be they slept together even when I wasn't on a working trip. There were times when my wife would sneak Oliver into the library after it was closed and have sex with him when nobody else was in the building.

Early on, there were some emails about possibly bringing me and Mia in on the situation and swinging. It was Oliver who suggested it. But my wife immediately told him that I wouldn't be okay with it. She was right to think that. Oliver thought that Mia might have been convincing, stating that he thought she would be gullible enough to just do what he wanted. I thought that was a horrible thing to say. I ended up converting all of those emails into a PDF and keeping that from me.

myself. I marked the most recent messages unread and logged out to make it seem like I had no idea what was happening. I was going to be away for three days working, and I had to focus on what I was doing or I could risk losing my job. It was absolute torture trying to pretend like nothing was happening when it felt like my entire world was shattering. I had the PDF and I needed to figure out the best way to utilize it. My wife and best friend had both betrayed me and I wanted to back at them and make them regret ever crossing me. I mulled over what I could do when I returned and it finally hit me. It was the middle of summer and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary to invite Oliver and Mia over for a barbecue and some drinks. I suggested it for the weekend when

I got back and my wife was all for it. They showed up on that Saturday and everything was normal. While we were eating, I brought up to everyone the possibility that we trade partners for the night. It was a joke, I had no intention of doing that, but I just wanted to see their reactions. Mia was appalled by what I suggested, but noticeably my wife and Oliver weren't that shocked. Oliver's lack of reaction actually upset Mia quite a bit. My wife pulled me aside and asked me about why I suggested that, but I just went back to the table and I told Oliver that it was his idea after all. I quoted what he said in the email and mentioned that he thought that Mia would be gullible

and would go for it. She was very confused, so I handed her a couple of pages of the email highlights that I printed out. She read over them and from the context she figured out what was happening very quickly. She immediately started screaming at my wife and Oliver about what they did. She was hysterical and upset about everything, and I didn't blame her. I felt the same way when I first found out. Oliver tried to punch me in the face. He accused me of ruining his life. I didn't fight him, as much as I wanted to take my anger out on him I knew that it would only lead to more drama. My wife tried to explain what was happening to me, but nothing she said helped her.

Basically, she said that she and Oliver had always been attracted to each other and after a while, they couldn't take it anymore. They ended up sleeping together. She told me that she didn't think monogamy was for her either, which would have been nice to know before I was married to her for six years. Mia and I both ended up divorcing them and pretty much taking everything from them in the divorce. They said that they were attracted to each other, but after everything happened they didn't even try to be together. Oliver desperately tried to get back with Mia because he said that it was a mistake and she almost gave in to be with him. I was able to talk her out of it. I sent the information about my wife sleeping with Oliver in the library to her boss and she was fired.

Now, she lives in a studio apartment in the city. She's reached out to me several times apologizing and suggesting that we give it another try. I think she's realized just how good she had it with me and regrets her choices now. I'm in a good place now after all of this and I don't want to look back at any of it. I'm finally ready to put myself back out there and move on from it completely. I hope you enjoy this story. I organized a celebration for my spouse's birthday and unveiled his decade-long relationship with a hidden spouse and child using a personalized dessert. This revelation resulted in him missing out on a significant business opportunity, and now everyone is talking about it.

Saying I went too far. Hi, so for context, my husband, Robbie, and I have been married for three years. He and I are both 31 and we have known each other for almost 10 years now. I met him at my first job and we became friends because both of us were right out of college and we were the newbies at our company. We struck up a friendship and remained friends for a couple of years before he asked me out when our internship was about to end. We dated for a couple of months when we were in our early 20s but it fizzled out soon enough and we ended up breaking up. But then we met again at our

a friends party when we were around 25 and we then rekindled our relationship. Both of us told each other that we had dated a couple of people in the middle, but things never really seemed to work out with those people and maybe the reason behind that was that we were meant to be together. Which is why we had run into each other after so long at one of the most unexpected places, because we didn't really have a lot of common friends. So we decided to give things another chance, and this time, both of us were grown up as compared to earlier, so we made it work. After being together for three years and having lived together for one, we agreed that it was about time to get married because things were going well and it just felt right.

There was no formal proposal, as such, we just sort of came to an agreement about it. Anyway, three years ago, we got married, and things have been great since then. That's not to say that he and I don't fight, like any other couple, we also have had our ups and downs, but we always make up. He'll behavior around me has always been normal, and I have never really suspected anything, because I trust him, and I didn't think that he would ever lie to me about anything, because I like to think of myself as a very understanding person, so he would never feel the need to lie about the big stuff.

So, after what I found out recently, my head was turned, and I honestly didn't know how to react to any of it. Because finding out that your husband has a whole separate family that he has kept a secret from you for as long as you have been together, is never an easy thing to come to terms with. And because of the emotional devastation, I might have done something and gone overboard with my revenge or whatever, at least that's what people are telling me, but I don't see anything wrong with what I did. Everyone thinks that I should have just dealt with this in person instead of erring our dirty laundry among friends and family and even a couple of his business associates.

So I just want to know if I did the right thing and that's why I'm here right now. It all started a weeks ago, Robbie was turning 31 and I wanted to celebrate his birthday. But unfortunately, he told me that he had to go away on a business trip that week, and he wouldn't be here for his birthday. I was a little bummed out because I was looking forward to celebrating that day with him since I'm the kind of person who makes a big deal out of birthdays. But then I had a bright idea and I decided that I was going to surprise him on his birthday by showing up at the hotel that he was staying in and I decided to make it easier. I would speak to his second. I would speak to his and make the necessary arrangements. Both my husband and I run businesses. I run an electronic

store and he has a PR agency. But the difference is that I started mine a couple of years ago and he inherited his dad's business and that's why. He's a lot more successful as a businessman than I am. Because I'm just starting out on my own and well, he already has everything laid out for him because his dad did a lot of work in his time and they were already a flourishing business when he took over. But I have never held that against him, and I am actually happy for his success. I've never been jealous of him or anything. Because I know that I am his wife and we are a team, his successes and failures are both mine, and it's supposed to go both ways. I'm mentioning this part now because it comes up later, so I thought I'll just get it out of the way. Anyway, I spoke to Robbie's secretary

and told her that I was planning to surprise him on his birthday by showing up at the hotel, and I told her to make the necessary arrangements. She did so gladly and told me that she had booked a room for two and had also notified the hotel front desk staff about this surprise, so they would let me up into his room when I showed up. And that was it, it was all arranged and I was quite excited about it because I thought it was a brilliant plan and we hadn't taken a vacation together for a really long time so we could turn his business trip into a mini vacation or maybe a staycation.

Even on the day that he left for his business trip, everything was fine, and he told me that he loved me and everything. I couldn't have ever known what he was up to behind my back if he didn't slack off on the day of his birthday, and I didn't happen to be at the right place at the right time. His birthday was two days after the day that he was supposed to leave for his trip and I flew out on the morning of his birthday to surprise him. When I reached the hotel, it was around two in the afternoon, and I knew that by then, whatever meetings he had, for the day we're over, because Robbie doesn't meet anybody after 12 and everything else that he had scheduled for the day would start after 4 so I had enough time. I went up to the room and I had a key card of my own since the room had been booked for the two of us, but even when I took the key

from the receptionists, things were kind of weird for me because they were shooting me really strange looks that I couldn't make sense of. But I didn't think much of it, and I just headed up to his room. However, when I got there, I noticed that the door of his room was slightly ajar and I could look inside without much of an effort. That was important, because I could hear voices coming from the room, and it was weird because I could hear a woman's voice and a child's voice as well, and as far as I was concerned, he had no business hanging out with a mother and a child. When I peaked in, my worst fears were confirmed and I saw Robbie sitting on the bed and playing with a little boy, while a woman around my age was seated on the edge of the bed

and all of them looked really carefree and happy. The boy couldn't have been older than me. maybe five or six and I didn't get a good look but Robbie and that boy were playing something on his iPad. There was a lot of laughter and I'm not an idiot, I instantly recognized what was going on. I had read enough books and watched enough movies to know what was happening here and I didn't want to stick around to find out more about it. So I decided to make a run for it before any of them opened the door and found me outside it. But before that, I had enough presence of mind to make sure to get a picture of it on my phone and then, I started running. I also thought that maybe if I didn't confront the problem, it would go away, but of course, that's not how it works. I literally ran out of the

hotel, took the first cab that I could find, and rushed back to the airport. I booked a seat on the first flight that I could find to go back home and only had to wait for around two hours for it to take off. And I think that I pretty much went through all the five stages of grief in those two hours because I just couldn't accept what I had seen and suddenly, the looks that the receptionists had been shooting me made a lot more sense. I was rattled to the very core, and I tried to make sense of what I had seen, I even tried to come up with perfectly innocent explanations, but none of it added up. Towards the end, I was forced to admit that Robbie had a secret family that I knew nothing about and that was just the truth. It was a horrifying realization I was in denial of it

for a couple of hours, but no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't run away from the truth. After I got home that day, I started thinking about what I was supposed to do next because there was no way that I was staying with him anymore. I knew I had seen that. I confronted him about it. He would just come up with some story to defend himself. Being the emotional fool that I am, would probably buy it and give him a second chance, and I didn't want to risk it in the slightest. Just to be on the safe side, I decided to do some digging of my own, and I knew that if he had a son and a partner, they were bound to be financial records of something or the other, so I could catch him in his lie. So I talked to his secretary and I told her that I needed his financial

report for the past three years urgently. She and I are on good terms, and I just made up some story about how I needed it because I wanted our lawyer to look through it in case of some discrepancies, and reassured her that my husband had asked for it because the company was about to be audited and he didn't want his personal expenses to have any mismatch either. So she sent the records to me, and I had my lawyer look through all his bank statements for the past few years and realized that every month, there was a huge payment that was released from his end and was received by an account that was located in the very place that he claimed to be going for business trips quite frequently. I had just figured that maybe he had some important

client there, which is why he had to visit them every month. But now, everything was much more clear to me, and it all made sense and I spoke to a well-known divorce attorney right after I found out the truth and filed for a divorce. After I had made sure that there was no way he was not cheating on me with a secret family, I decided that I was not going to let this slide. Call me crazy, but my first instinct when I confirmed that he was visiting his other family was not to feel bad about it, but to feel pure hatred and rage and the desire to get revenge on him. I had cried enough about it, I just wanted to get back at him and get it over with. So for the next couple of days, I pretended that everything was fine and that I was just in love

with him as I had been before I found out the truth. I had been ignoring him for two days after I came back from my visit, but then I resumed my normal behavior so that he wouldn't suspect anything. And I also made sure that his secretary kept her mouth shut about everything so she wouldn't ask him anything about the surprise and told her that I hadn't actually been able to visit him because I got sick and I told her not to mention any of it to Robbie, so he wouldn't worry and she didn't, thankfully. I did everything in my control to make sure that he wouldn't find out about my visit and wouldn't suspect anything.

In the meantime, I continued to plan for the real surprise that I was going to give him when he came back from his trip. A few days ago, he finally came back, and I had to pretend to be in love with him and act like I missed him, knowing what I knew, which was very difficult and I was sick to my stomach doing it, but I had to put up an act, and I had to be convincing at it because I didn't want him to miss the party that I had organized for him. The evening that he came back, I had invited all our friends, family, and some of his coworkers and business associates to have dinner with us. I also knew that he had been trying to crack a deal with a very well-known industrialist and

I invited him as well because I wanted to hurt Robbie. I didn't really think things through, if I'm being honest, I just was too caught up in the idea of getting revenge and hurting him just as much as he had hurt me and didn't think about the consequences of my actions. So anyway, I had everyone come over and everybody was there. I brought my husband out into the living room and told him that this was a surprised birthday party for him. Everybody greeted him and stuff, and once that was over, I brought out the best part of the party. The part that I was the most excited about was the cake. Because in the spirit of revenge and exposing him and his dirty little secret, I had decided to get that image of him with

his other family that I had clicked from outside the hotel room digitally printed on the cake and when I uncovered it, everyone was shocked. Most of all, Robbie, because I could tell from his face that he had not been expecting this. His face fell, and he kept looking at the floor as it was going to open up and swallow him or whatever, but unfortunately, none of that was going to happen. that he had been caught in his lies and there was no hiding it anymore. But when I started talking, he still tried to tell me to stop and said that he would do anything to keep me from spilling the beans. It was just a last-ditch desperate effort to keep this a secret, but I think everybody in the

room had already figured out what was going on by then. They were just waiting around for me to confirm it, and I was not going to deny them the pleasure of that. So, for the first time in my life, I told Robbie to shut up and let me talk because he was not going to get away with what he did, and I was going to make sure of it. I told everybody that I had gone digging through his financial records, and I had found out that he had been sending money every month to his other family, and this went back almost a decade. This meant that throughout the time that he had been with me, he had been hiding a secret family from me,

and had been cheating on me all along. I looked at him to confirm the story or tried to deny it when the proof was so clearly placed in front of us on the cake, but he just stood there and refused to say a word. But I kept taunting him, asking him to speak up and give us all an explanation, because I wanted him to feel as humiliated as I had felt when I showed up at his hotel room and saw him chilling with some other family. And at one point, I think I finally broke him, and he cracked and started talking. He lost his mind and started yelling at me, saying that, yes, he did have another family, but it was none of my business and that he regretted the fact that he married me instead of Elena, who I can only assume is his affair partner. I was quite

shocked by that outburst, but I stood my ground and we got into a nasty fight in front of all his friends and family and his business associates as well. He told me that he had been seeing Elena before he met me and reconnected with me, but things had just been casual with her and they were not very serious. Which is why he asked me out again, and we got together, but a few months after we got together again, Elena contacted him to tell him that she was pregnant and wanted an answer as to whether he was willing to be a part of the child's life or not. He said he had wanted to tell me about it and be honest with me,

but he didn't want to risk it and jeopardize our relationship again because he really liked me and he wasn't sure if I would still stay with him once I found out that he was going to have a baby with another woman before me. So he thought that he would hide it for a couple of months, at least until the child was born, but then months turned into years and the longer he waited to tell me, the more awkward it became. And then, before he knew it, we were getting married, and there was just no way he could bring it up now without breaking my heart. So he just never told me and that's how I had to find out.

He also mentioned that the affair with Elena was a recent development, and that it started only a couple of months ago, but before that, they only had a strictly platonic co-parenting arrangement. But for the past few months, they had been seeing each other more often because he was sick of me. Elena knew about me, and she had no problem with it because he had promised her that he was going to leave me when the time was right and had made up his mind that he was going to file for divorce soon because apparently, I am crazy. And I don't deserve to be with him anyway. And he said all this, rather screamed all of this right at my face, in front of all the guests.

So suffice it to say, I had intended to humane. him at the party, but that was a bit humiliating for me as well. However, I still had the divorce papers that I had filed for, and as soon as he said that he was going to file for divorce, I went into my study and brought my papers out and then shoved them at him and told him that I had already beaten him to it. Then I walked out of the party to my car and started driving. I had already packed a few of my things in a bag and stashed it in the car for a quick getaway and I also knew which hotel I was going to be at for the next few weeks.

My blood was boiling, so I didn't check my messages or notifications for the next couple of hours, but when I did, I realized that most people agreed that I had taken it way too far. There were messages from my friends, who said that while they understood my anger and resentment against Robbie, throwing a party, just with the purpose of humiliating, was a little too much, and they think I owed him an apology because apparently, he lost the business deal that he was working on because of me. My parents also felt the same way, and I was just surprised that so many people were on his side when he was the one who cheated on me. They had the same reason as well. They said that it was unfair because he lost a huge deal because of me

and he could even sue me for defamation if he wanted to so it would be in my best interest to apologize to him and tell him that I just lost my mind for a bit after I found out that he was not being honest with me. However, I don't think that he can file any sort of lawsuit against me because whatever I said it, at the party was true. And more importantly, I really don't think that I owe him any sort of apology, because if he didn't want to get caught and humiliated, he probably shouldn't have cheated on me. And as for the deal that he lost, I also think that is his own fault because I didn't make him cheat on me and turn out to be a dishonest, lying piece of crap. Apparently, after I left, everybody started clearing out almost immediately, and Robbie tried to stop the CEO of the firm that I had mentioned before who he had been trying to crack a deal with.

Everything that just happened was obviously very embarrassing, but he still couldn't let that deal go to waste because he had been working for months to crack it. So he tried to stop the guy and talk to him, but I guess he didn't want to work with Robbie anymore because of what just happened. The rejection was quite public as well, and apparently, the CEO guy told my husband,

politely and gently as he could, that he believed it would be for the best if he focused on his personal life just now, and since his firm was a pretty huge account, he didn't believe it was his cup of tea right now, and the deal would go to somebody else. And then he left, and as soon as he left, Robbie broke down into tears, and some of the guests stayed back to comfort him. I find it all a bit ridiculous, if I'm being honest, because he lost everything because of his own behavior and his own infidelity. I think it's really unfair to blame me for any of this and yet, that's what people are doing.

I can't make sense of it, but I'm getting sick of people blaming me. Ever since I left the house, people have been texting me and telling me that what I did was messed up and that I need to make amends for it. Worst of all, my parents think that I am at fault and I am really at a loss for what to do. I really don't think that Robbie deserves an apology, that's not happening, but I also feel bad because everybody's just being really harsh on me. So Ida for throwing a party just to humiliate my husband and expose his dirty little secret when I found out that he had a secret family?

Update 1, Hello. Thank you so much for all the support in the comments of my original post. I am glad to hear that a lot of people agree that I shouldn't have held back, but what I did was perfectly right. I feel the same way, obviously. This is why I have decided that I am going to cut everybody out of my life if they continue to tell me that I am the one at fall for this. Because I'm getting really sick of taking the fall when I'm not even the one who cheated. To be honest, I wish I could show my parents and a few

of my friends some of the responses and comments that I got on my original post about people saying how they would have gone scorched earth, and that they would have taken it even further than me. So they would really understand how bad it was to get betrayed by your husband of three years and partner of almost six years. To find out that everything that you had believed for so long was just a lie. I don't think anybody knows how I'm feeling right now, so they don't have the right to judge me and make me feel bad about everything that I did. I'll admit that I thought humiliating him, but made me feel better, but it didn't. But that doesn't mean that what I did was wrong in any sense of the word. Now that the party is over, and I don't have anything to plan,

I just have the divorce to look forward to. I'm having to deal with a full emotional impact of what has happened and what is going to happen in the future and I can tell you guys, it's not easy. And I don't need people to make it more difficult for me by telling me that I'm wrong and that I need to apologize and stupid stuff like that. If they can't understand where I'm coming from and why I was so angry, that's fine. But they do not have the right to make me feel worse and try to portray me as a bad guy even in a situation where I am clearly the victim. I haven't been responding to any messages because most of them are just telling me that my soon-to-be ex-husband is miserable and it's all my fault, I don't need to hear it.

But now, I have decided that I am going to respond to each and every single person who texted me, and tell them that, if they don't shut up, then I will just block them and move on and never speak to them again. So if that's what they want, they can continue to take his side and try to make me the bad guy. But they want me to be a part of their lives, they're going to have to apologize to me and tell me that they were wrong. I'm not going to excuse people defending a cheater and still have any access to me anymore. That's not happening. Update 2, so I received Robbie's response to the divorce papers today, and my lawyer told me that he had consented to a mutual divorce. And I was

honestly very relieved because it's all happening on my terms, so there won't be much of a problem during the negotiations. I also told my parents and a couple of my friends, but I had said I would tell them in my last update, and most of them did not speak to me. But I'm fine with that, it's very obvious that they were never my friends in the first place, and they were all Robbie's friends. My parents, however, came to their senses and apologized to me. They said that they just felt bad for Robbie because he was devastated after I revealed his secret because apparently, he had put in a lot of work to hide it, and that was quite obvious. And his parents were also very upset because they believe that it was none of my business. I don't even know why they think it's

enough of my business because I'm literally his wife. It is most certainly my business if my husband has another family that he's not telling me about, but whatever, I don't even care what his family thinks of me anymore, because they had been helping him to hide it all along. I'm really glad that he lost the deal that he had been working on, he deserves it. And I honestly hope that every bad thing happens to him now because I'm not a large-hearted person who wishes the best for the people who have done me wrong, I wish the worst for him because he is the worst. And also for anybody who went against me and told me that I was wrong here. They can all go jump off a cliff, for all I care. I'm going to continue to defend what I did because even before I had done it, I did not think there was anything

wrong with it. I did not think there was anything wrong with what I was doing even while I was doing it and even now, it's the same. So everybody can take a hike. Robbie got what he deserved and I'm going to hope that he learns a lesson from this. Update 3, hey, so it's been almost a year since I filed for divorce from Robbie and it came through about six months ago. We were done with our marriage as soon as the waiting period was over and now, I am free as a bird.

I heard that he moved Elena and his son down here and they are all living together now. Whatever, it doesn't matter to me anymore because I'm also doing a lot better than him. My business really took off a couple of months ago and we are doing great. I live in a much better house now and I have everything that I could ask for. I'm not dating anybody right now because I'm just so busy but it's very much on the table for me in the future. And I know that everything will fall back into place eventually. I'm glad that Robbie showed me his true colors because if he hadn't then maybe I wouldn't have this life right now because I really threw myself into my work after the divorce. I'm honestly just

grateful for everything and now I know that whatever happened, happened for the best. I hope you enjoy this story. My partner was unfaithful to me and our entire connection crumbled when she deceived me about attending a concert that I was excited about. Now she's talking about obtaining a restraining order against me. Confronted her. I'm not going to start out with the whole our relationship is perfect. but thing that you always see on here. I'll admit this has been one of the hardest relationships I've been in. I still very much love her.

She's beautiful, strong, driven, successful, and independent. However, my M-30 girlfriend, F-28, is a dismissive avoidant to the extreme, and it's been causing a lot of issues in our relationship. She's in therapy, but that is mostly focusing on managing her OCD and related eating disorder, Fun fact, all three issues are often comorbid. She has issues expressing her emotions slash needs and struggles with communication, commitment, and compromise as a result. We've been dating a little over a year. Prior to me, her longest relationship was less than two months. She usually shuts down and runs from relationships if she feels smothered. If her partner lets her down, or if she

feels like she's being criticized, it doesn't take much for this to happen. She does recognize this, and she's trying to work on it. But it's hard on us both. Both of us are big theater nerds. A few months ago, we had a trip to a city about two hours from us to visit her grandparents, and I got to meet her best friends from college for the first time. While there, we went to a show with her friends. I honestly had a great time, her grandparents love me, and and I got along really well with her friends. There was another show coming up in a few months that both of us have connections to. It was the first musical she ever saw with her grandparents,

and I worked on a production in high school. I asked my girlfriend if we could go. I even offered to bring her grandparents and treat them to a nice night out, they don't get to go out much anymore, or we could go with her college friends. I immediately got shut down. She said that she didn't really like that show. show, which she has mentioned before, and she didn't want to see it again. Fine, no big deal. That show was last weekend, not sure if this is relevant yet, feel free to skip this paragraph.

We kind of had a fight on Saturday I was about 15 minutes late to picking her up to hang out at a brewery and she felt really let down. She's broken up with other people for similar reasons, and gave the silent treatment all day. Eventually I get her to open up, we apologize to each other. We apologize to other and have a decent evening at home. The next morning, she says that she doesn't feel great and wants to go home to rest. I drive her home and ask if she needed me to stay with her to take care of her or anything. Nope, she just wants a quiet day to herself. I tell her to let me know if she needs anything and head at home.

I don't hear from her all day. Even when she's relaxing, we're usually trading memes and snapchats of our cats, but she's She's not even opening my messages. That week she had a migraine so bad that I needed to take her to the emergency room, and her sister just had a baby that's been having some health problems. I started to get really worried that something was wrong by late afternoon, so I decided to check her location on Find My. She's not at home.

She's not even in our city. She's just leaving a restaurant and walking to the theater to go see the show that I really wanted to see. I assume she was with her friends again, the restaurant is a favorite of theirs. It's a nicer restaurant where they would have needed a reservation, and the show is a popular show. Everything would have needed to have been planned well in advance. I'm not worried about her cheating or anything. Her friends are married to each other and she wouldn't be going with anyone else except maybe her grandparents.

I'm just so hurt over everything. I really wouldn't have minded if she said she already had plans to go to the show with her friends. I just don't understand why she lied to me about not being willing to go, and why she lied to me to hide that she was going. I think she just didn't want to explain that she wanted to go with her friends and without me. I don't know how to bring this up to her. She's very sensitive to criticism, even though I'm hurt not mad at her, she'll probably take it as an attack. She also just doesn't really like me expressing my feelings to her in general and tends to shut down and withdraw.

I'm worried that if I bring this up, she'll just break up and leave to avoid the conversation. She's threatened to do that before on much smaller issues. How can I bring this up without scaring her off? Update, September 25th, 2024. I wanted to thank everyone for their input on my last post. I know it's a bit cliche, but I wasn't expecting it to take off so much. Even the harsher comments helped me get a better grasp on the situation. I wasn't going to bother posting an update, but a few people have messaged me.

So I figured I'd finally write this out. Spoiler, not a good ending. I spent a lot of time thinking about what to do. I made my post on Monday, we had a date planned for Wednesday. I decided I would bring it up then. On Tuesday she was having a bad day at work, but she didn't really let me know. She texted me about an email that her asshole boss sent her, and I thought my response was appropriately supportive and validating, basically telling the guy off and letting her know she's right to be frustrated. I get occurred is that all you took from that.

Back from her. I probably should have thought a bit more, but I was dealing with my own work issues and a migraine, so I lazily just doubled down on my first response, again reiterating that she has every right to be angry, she didn't respond. I didn't double text, but I did reach out via Snapchat and Instagram messages to see if she'd respond there. She didn't open any of my messages. Because I'm always trying to make excuses for her, I assume she's busy and will respond when she has time. If you couldn't tell from the first post, my girlfriend really struggles with communication. Finally four hours later she responds with how she doesn't feel emotionally supported and she needs some space to think about the future of our relationship. I was super confused and asked what was wrong.

I got the response I just had a really crappy day and you didn't even bother to call me. I kind of snapped at that a little. I asked why she didn't respond to any of my messages, or why didn't she say, hey, I had a really bad day at work and need to hear your voice or something like that. I pointed out that she never asks me for emotional support, she just acts out until I figure out what she needs or until she gets frustrated and gives me the silent treatment. I didn't respond because it wouldn't have mattered, I cannot always be the one putting in the work. I explained for what felt like the thousandth time that I can't read her mind, she needs to communicate her needs. She's intentionally avoiding work by refusing to open up and asking for help. I understand that's hard for her, but I can't make up for that on my end.

I pointed out that I didn't realize she was having an awful day, I just thought she was dealing with regular work bullshit. She never tried to clarify how she was feeling or what she needed. I've been saying I need more effort from you for months and nothing has changed. This is the exact argument I didn't want to have, and you pushed it. I responded that I desperately want to support her, but she isn't giving me anything to work with. I gave her the space she asked for and told her I love her. The next morning she asks if she can come over after work to talk. After I confirm, she goes back to giving me the silent treatment.

I soon found myself blocked on Snapchat and Instagram. Finally made a click for me about how bad I'd been treated. I was so starved for emotional and non-sexual physical intimacy, she doesn't even like holding hands, let alone cuddling, and was an anxious mess from constantly walking on egg shells. But I'm stubborn, I loved her, I really wanted things to work and was still wanting to talk things out, she's pulled a similar stunt before and we ended up staying together. She finally comes over. We start out going over our communication issues. Her big thing is that she feels that with a

compatible partner everything should come including knowing when your partner needs something without asking. She can get overwhelmed and just shuts down, and asking for help is also very overwhelming for her, goes against her need to feel independent and self-sufficient, and feeds her fear of getting into a toxic codependent relationship like her parents. So she feels that this is an appropriate expectation to have. I explained that she's asking me to read her mind, that she's putting all of the emotional labor on me, and that isn't a realistic or fair expectation to have. She started to change the subject, which is a go-to of hers when she's uncomfortable with a conversation. We jumped around to various issues in our relationship. She randomly says that she

doesn't feel like she really knows me. I ask her what she means by that. She says that she never knows what I'm thinking or feeling and I'm too closed off, all false, and this definitely feels like projection on her part. It also hit on a deep insecurity that she didn't actually care enough about me to try to get to know me. She barely engaged in my interests and hobbies, Rarely asked me questions about myself, if she did, they were usually negative questions. On the other hand, I made all the effort to know about the things she cared for. She then brought up that we've been dating for a year, but have no plans to move in together. Again, this hit on a major insecurity of mine.

I had been trying to bring this up for months, I straight up asked her when she was having issues at her place and she was thinking about moving. This was late July around our one year and On the other hand, she gave me different answers every time I asked her what she wanted for her or our future, if she didn't try to change the subject instead. She's never brought up our future on her own, I always was the one to bring it up. I made it clear that the only reason we don't have future plans is because she doesn't seem to want to make them yet.

I also said there is nothing wrong with that, but she needs to let me know if she's not ready for that step. pointing all of this out to her made her go quiet. Not silent treatment quiet, but when things get too intense for her she just starts to shut down and withdraw. It took a few minutes for her to come out of it. As she did, I explained that I felt that I was the only one really putting effort into our relationship. She asked me what I seriously wanted. I began in a kind of roundabout way, I guess.

I explained that six years ago, I had to end an engagement. to my fiancé after she became an abusive alcoholic, then spent the next few years working 80-plus hours a week at a job I hated while watching my dad slowly die. All things she already knows, what I was going to say next is that after going through that, I wanted to get a job that was better for my mental health, succeeded, and I wanted to find my person. Instead, I got cut off. She said that maybe I started dating too soon after my dad's passing, we started dating about nine months later. This really threw me off, took me a minute to recover.

Before I could continue, she said that she just doesn't feel our communication styles are compatible. I asked her if she seriously thinks she has good communication skills, which she said feels like she does. I finally brought up the show. I said that I know that she went without me and I explained how I know, and my justification for looking up her location. This visibly shocked her, and she shut down again. I asked why she lied to me, twice. No answer. I asked if she was cheating on me.

No, she went with her college friends. She eventually confirmed that this was planned before I even asked to go. As I suspected, she just said that she didn't want to go to avoid what she felt was an uncomfortable conversation. I asked her if she felt like this was okay. Yes, she was worried that if she told the truth I'd push her to let me go with them. I asked if I've ever tried to pressure her into doing something that she didn't want to do. Yes, I asked to watch movies that she doesn't like over and over. Again, a sore spot.

I rarely got to pick what we watched, and she seems to intentionally avoid movies that are important to me. Over Christmas I asked to watch home alone to continue a tradition I had with my dad. I wanted her to be there with me for support. She refused and found every way to invalidate my feelings. Have I ever pressured her outside of asking to watch a few of my favorite movies? No. I asked if I had done anything to make her feel unsafe opening up to me about any of this. No, she's just not the type to open up like that to anyone but her sister.

How does she expect to have a serious relationship with someone if she won't open up to them? She feels like the right person will just make it easy for her. Does she feel like she needs to do any work on herself to be a better partner? No, because she doesn't really want to be a partner anymore. She said that our relationship was adding so much stress in her life, to the point that it was affecting her job and eating disorder recovery. I'm not sure how true this is, she's been doing really well with both. Where is the stress coming from in our relationship for her?

The constant obligations and me constantly asking for more from her. I brought up how much work I've put into this relationship. I chauffered her around for two months while her car was in the shop, visited her in the hospital every day and then slept on her couch and took care of her for a week while she recovered from surgery. I've paid for the vast majority of dates, given her money when she overdrew her bank account, helped her move on short notice, and how I've always showed up for her when she's asked, and plenty of times when she didn't. I've also tried to model good relationship behavior, and how exhausting and heartbreaking it is to not have that effort reciprocated.

Instead, I rarely got to plan dates or pick what movies slash shows we watched due to her refusal to compromise. I put in all of this effort trying to open up to her, and to get her to open up to me. The few times I asked for her emotional support, even on small things like watching home alone with me, she refused. She didn't take any interest in my hobbies, even those that we had in common. We had next to no emotional intimacy. And I had to constantly forgive her for blowing up at me for little things, giving me the silent treatment, or lying to me, while I always admitted when I was wrong and showed her that I was putting in the work to grow with our relationship.

I've been giving so much without getting anything in return, and I didn't feel like my expectations were unrealistic at all. I was asking for the bare minimum. My needs weren't being met. She again just said that she doesn't think our communication styles are compatible. I guess this is the hill she wanted to die on to end our relationship. I did let her know that I didn't want to end things and I was still willing to work on us. I offered to get us a relationship counselor, but she refused.

She was exhausted and couldn't do this anymore. At this point I was exhausted too. and agreed to end things. She never cried or anything during the whole conversation, she just switched between being cold or looking uncomfortable. By the end I was kind of a mess, never raised my voice or got angry though. A week or so later, I wasn't doing great. Made the mistake of getting drunk alone at home, then made the horrible mistake of trying to text

her. I asked if she thought about us and if she was willing to talk. I got hit with don't contact me. It's not coming across to you so I'm being explicit. I want nothing from you except to never hear from you or see you again. I'm blocking your number. Contact me again and I'll be getting a restraining order. Go get some help and leave me alone.

So that was great. I haven't been doing great. Between how exhausted everything made me and the fact that this relationship and breakup managed to hit most of my relationship insecurities, I've been kind of a mess. It's just been rough realizing how I hardly ever felt appreciated, valued, respected, or prioritized throughout our relationship, and how I never really felt like she saw me as a partner or us as a team. I realized that I made a lot of excuses for her, given her childhood trauma

and this being her first attempt at a serious relationship. A lot of her points about her not knowing me or us not having plans for the future felt really gaslighty and it's messed with my head a lot. That and a constant nitpicking kind of destroyed my self-esteem. I honestly felt better after breaking things off with my ex-fiance than I do after this breakup. Oh well, guess I have a lot of work to do on myself. I'm sorry that this probably wasn't a satisfying ending. Next story, Sun loves to wear pink sparkly jackets which look G. Y and got bullied so bad I had to to homeschool him. I'm a single dad to my son, Oliver 10M. He's with me most of the time, and sees his mom every other weekend. He's an awesome kid, creative, full of energy,

and he's got his own sense of style that's pretty unique. He loves bright colors, nail polish, and clothes that some people might think are more girly. If I'm honest, I think Oliver might be gay, and I'm totally cool with that. I've always made it clear that whoever he turns out to be, I'll support him 100%. Because of how he dresses and acts, Oliver's had a really tough time with other kids. He got bullied so badly at his old school that I ended up pulling him out and homeschooling the school wasn't helpful at all, and it was heartbreaking to see him go through that. He struggled to make friends, and it kills me to see him feel so alone. Now, he's starting back at school in September, and he's really excited about it.

But recently, we were at a cousin's birthday party, and Oliver wore his favorite jacket which is a bright pink, sparkly one that he loves. Some of the other kids started picking on him, saying he looked gay. I stepped in, got the kids to apologize, but it ruined the day for Oliver. I'm worried about how things will go when he's back at school. I've been thinking about whether I should talk to Oliver about maybe toning it down a bit, especially when he's around new people. Not because I want him to change who he is, but because I hate seeing him get hurt and feel like an outcast. I don't want him to feel like he has to hide who he is, but I also don't want him to be picked on or excluded because of it. But then, I feel like a complete asshole for even thinking about this.

I don't want him to think that I'm ashamed of him or that he has to conform to be accepted. I want him to feel free to be himself, but I'm also scared of him being hurt by others who don't get it. So, Wibta if I talk to Oliver about maybe being a bit more low-key with his style. Comments where Op has replied, commenter, don't do it. Kids will still bully him and all he will remember is that you deterred him from expressing himself. Trust me, the same thing occurred in our house. I was trying to keep him from being bullied, but my child felt as though I didn't accept him and that he needed to pretend he was something he wasn't.

Lots of later life therapy, if he's gay, if he's straight, Let him be himself and tell him as long as he likes his clothes, that's all that matters. Sincerely, the mom of an amazing queer kid. Boop, I get that, but at the same time it is so heartbreaking seeing the same thing happen to him over and over and over again. Commenter, Jesus, where do you live? Most kids don't care about this kind of thing these days. Boop, I live in the West Midlands of England. I honestly don't think your point about most of the most of the same thing.

kids not caring is at all accurate. I see it everyday commenter, do not dull his shine because other people don't understand him. I understand it may be coming from a place of protection, but it needs to be addressed with the potential aggressors, not with forcing your son to change who he is. Boop, but when you can't do anything more with potential aggressors. I have done, and will continue to do everything I can. But sadly I can't literally watch his back 24-7, even though I would if I could. Anytime he has a comment made to him he breaks his little heart and it is so devastating

seeing him go through that again and again. Update 1, September 7, 2024. Hey y'all, it's been about 26 days since my original post, and I thought I'd give an update now that Oliver has had his first week back at school. I can happily say that so far, things are going much better than I'd hoped. Over the summer, Oliver and I had a really... really important heart to heart. I sat him down and told him just how incredibly proud I am of the person he is becoming. I made sure he knew that there is absolutely nothing he could ever do that

would change the way I see him or make me love him any less. Honestly, it was a bit emotional, and I even got a bit choked up. I told him that if wearing his favorite jacket, the one that's caused some hurt before, made him happy, I'd stand behind him 100%. But I also wanted to make sure he was prepared. I explained that, while I'll always be there for him, I can't always be around to protect him, and he might have to stand up for himself if kids make fun of him. I made it clear that this doesn't mean he should change anything about who he is but that he needs to be ready to handle it if anyone says anything cruel. Oliver understood, and we spent the summer coming up with some playful comebacks together. He really wanted to take the jacket with him to school, so we made it a bit of a

project, imagining the kind of things kids might say in crafting witty replies that he could fire back with. It was actually pretty fun, and I think it helped him feel more confident about it. Now, back to school. His new teacher knows all about his past struggles with bullying, and she's been amazing. She's keeping a close eye on things and making sure he feels safe and comfortable. It's made such a difference already, and Oliver's first week couldn't have gone better. He's even made a friend, a boy named Sam, and they've really hit it off. They're planning to meet up tomorrow at the wacky warehouse, and Oliver can't stop talking about it. It's been a long time since I've seen him this excited about spending time with someone his age. I know it's still early

days, but seeing him come home happy and smiling each day has been such a relief. Thanks to everyone who gave advice and encouragement on my original post, I really took a lot of it to heart, and I think made a big difference in how I approached all this. Update 2, September 9th, 2024. Hey, I just wanted to hop on and give a small update about Oliver's playdate over the weekend. Firstly, when Oliver was getting ready, he wanted to wear all his flamboyant clothes. He asked me if I thought it was a good idea, his friend had seen him in his jacket, but he was a little worried how he would react to the full Oliver.

I told him to wear whatever he wanted, and if this friend was working, being friends what they would accept him for exactly how he is. This made Oliver smile. He wore his full Oliver outfit. When we were walking in I could feel Oliver getting a bit nervous. He was bullied so much in his last school for how he was, so I understood why. I held his hand tight and gave it two squeezes. This means I love you, something I learned to teach him from Reddit actually. The friend's dad was with him and he looked at Oliver and gave a little curious look but apart from that it was fine. The boy said he loved Oliver's clothes. They spent about four hours playing, and we ended up eating together.

On the way home, I told Oliver how proud I am of the little man he is. I am so proud how he is so willing to be himself, and so brave to continue despite any backlash he gets. I love him so much. This is my final update on this account. I don't know if I'll ever show you these posts Oliver, maybe in a few years when you're older so we can laugh at how worried I was about you. Your dad is so proud of you, I think you are the most amazing person in the whole world. Even when you drive me absolutely nuts. I am so lucky to get to be your father, I am so lucky you are in my life.

I love you. I hope you enjoy this story. Sylvia left her infant in my care to pursue a carefree lifestyle. However, she has returned with her recent partner insisting on the return of her child, so I presented her with these documents and she freaked out. For the past five years, I, 32F, have been raising my husbands, 32M, niece Abby, alongside my own children, as our daughter. And now, all of a sudden, my sister-in-law Riley, 25F, is back and wants me to give up custody of her

so she can have her daughter back and complete her family. For the record, she was the one who had given up her baby in the beginning and now that I'm refusing to let her take over, she's making a huge stink about it. It's become such a huge deal that I've actually started doubting myself. All of this started five years back when Riley got pregnant with her boyfriend at the time, but they were not serious about each other. She decided to keep the baby and he decided to leave her, and that was that. Since my husband and I are not particularly close with her, we were not in the pregnancy.

And then, about two weeks after the baby was finally gone, my mother-in-law showed up at our house and told me that she wanted me to look after the baby for a couple of weeks. She said that Riley wanted to resume college since she was 20 at the time and had to drop a year because of pregnancy. They told me that they were going to look for apartments near her campus and would be back in just a few days, so they needed my help to take care of the baby since they couldn't rely on anyone else. My husband and I love kids, and by then, we already had our son. So we agreed because we thought it was just going to be a couple of days, but then,

they literally disappeared for almost two months. We tried calling them, texting them, and even contacting them through other people, but there was just no way that we could reach them. When my mother-in-law finally came back, she told me that Riley had decided to give up her baby and now, she expected me to raise her. Apparently, Riley had left the country and that's what they had spent the past two months making arrangements because she wanted to lead a free-spirited lifestyle, whatever that means, and being bogged down by a baby that's not her thing anymore and she had realized it a little

too late. My husband and I were obviously shocked and furious because, at the time, we hadn't been planning for a second baby. We already had a two-year-old toddler to deal with, we couldn't handle a second child and this was something really unethical. My mother-in-law said that she herself would have adopted her grandchild, but unfortunately, since she had lost her husband a couple of years ago, she didn't think it would be wise for her to do so because she was getting old and it would also be pretty expensive. Those were just excuses, though, and my husband decided to cut her out of our life

back then. However, after giving it some thought, we decided to keep our niece with us and raise her as our own daughter. We obviously had no contact with Riley either, and since she had basically abandoned her daughter, we spoke to a lawyer about how we could go ahead and legally adopt Abby. It took more than a year and a lot of paperwork, but eventually, we were able to legally adopt Abby after having Riley's parental rights terminated on grounds of abandonment, and since then, she has been a part of our family. No questions asked. Then, my husband and I finally had another daughter two years back and our family was complete. We've been raising all three of our children together and we have had to be very careful with our finances but it's been totally worth it.

And yet, in spite of doing all this, Riley thinks she is entitled to ask for her baby back now. About two weeks ago, she showed up at our doorstep with her new fiancé, telling us that she was planning on getting married now, and since she did not plan on putting herself through a pregnancy one more time, she just wanted Abby back as if Abby was a dress she had lent me and not an actual human child. I asked her to give me a minute, got the paperwork from the adoption, and then showed it to her before slamming the door shut in her face. After that, she kept screaming at me from outside the door, but I had already done what I had been waiting for years to do. And luckily, when this had happened, my husband had been out with the children so they didn't

even have to witness any of this. Anyway, after I slammed the door shut and she started screaming at me, I told her that I was going to call the cops if she didn't leave and then she finally left. I thought that this would be the end of it because obviously, I had legally adopted Abby so she really couldn't do anything about this now. But she's been playing the victim card and trying to make my husband and I to be the bad guys right now and somehow, the family is actually falling for it. That day, when my husband finally came back home with the kids, I told him everything about what had happened and we had mutually decided that we were not going to let this affect us. But the situation has changed now because literally every single person from his family

is telling us that what we are doing is not right and that we don't have the right to keep a mother and her daughter apart just because we are attached to Abby. I don't know how to explain to them that I'm not attached to Abby just because she's a child and I've been raising her for five years. I feel the same way about her that I feel for the rest of my kids because I am her mother, regardless of the biological connection. And I can say the same for my husband too. So we have been doing our best to defend ourselves, but it doesn't help that even my mother-in-law, who had actually left Abby with us years ago and explained the situation to us, isn't on our side and actually believes that we should return Abby to her mother.

But I guess that's just out of pettiness because, for the past five years, we haven't been in touch with her since we had cut her out of our lives for being sneaky about the whole thing, since it had been quite unethical. Her behavior, at least we can explain it because she's just being petty and vengeful, but the rest of my husband's family, I don't know how to explain that. The messages have been pouring in since last week after Riley made a post about the incident. In the post, she said that she had made a mistake five years ago by abandoning her daughter, but now that she wants to rectify that mistake, we are not allowing her to do so,

and are keeping her away from her own daughter. The tone of the post had been pretty emotional and I don't know how, but she managed to do people into believing that she was the victim here. And since then, my husband's family hasn't wasted a single day, they've been calling us all sorts of names, telling us that what we are doing is ruthless and that we are destroying Abby's life. It's gotten to the extent where we are actually doubting ourselves and I feel like I'm going crazy. I know that she cannot do anything legally, which is probably why she is coming after us like this. Anyway, what do you guys think about this?

Ida for refusing to return my niece to my sister-in-law after raising her for five years? Edit, I'm pasting the post here for anyone who wanted to see what hi, everyone. This is Riley and I want to talk to you guys about something really important today. It's going to be about my daughter. I know a lot of you are probably not even aware that I have a daughter, and it's partly my own fault. I had left my daughter behind here when I moved away from life as I knew it five years back. I wanted to be free from all the expectations that everyone had for me, I wanted to start a new life for myself, and to some degree, I have been successful in doing so. I have found a wonderful man for myself. Jacob loves me like nobody else and soon enough, he's going to be my husband.

When I told him about my daughter, he was ready to accept her too because that would complete our family. So I approached my sister-in-law, Michelle, who had been raising my daughter for the past five years. Unfortunately, she has taken this opportunity to claim my daughter as her own and is refusing to let me take my daughter back from her. I am helpless because she has transferred custody of my daughter to herself and I don't think I'll be able to do anything about this legally. So I need all the help and support I can get from everyone here to bring my baby back home. I know that it was my mistake that I trusted her in the first place, but honest to God,

I had never expected something like this to happen. I had thought that she was just going to take care of my baby and my act. absence and whenever I was ready, I would get to be a mother to my child again. But that chance has been taken away from me and I can't even begin to explain how much it hurts. Please support me here. I have been driving myself crazy by overthinking what's going on but after reading through the comments, I realized that I was actually being crazy by entertaining these people. There is obviously something very wrong with my husband's family and it was stupid of us to care about what they were saying. Whatever they say, it doesn't matter because they don't have a legal

leg to stand on. The facts remain that my sister-in-law had abandoned her baby, which is why we ended up adopting Abby. If she had been involved in her life, I don't even think the courts would have allowed this to happen. She's been extremely manipulative and clever with her words, which is why so many of my family members have come out in her support. But no matter how much she tries to distort and twist the truth in her favor, we know the facts. We had been blocking people initially, but after that, too overwhelming, and we started doubting ourselves, so we stopped for a while. However, we are back to blocking people now. And just to be on the safe side, we have also spoken to our lawyer and in case she tries to create more drama, we're going to be slapping her with a defamation

lawsuit. Right now, we are letting it go because it honestly doesn't matter what a bunch of losers from my husband's family think about us. However, if she tries to go public with this, we're going to have to take serious legal action against her. It's actually pretty insane that any of this is happening and people are actually on her side right now, but well, weirder things have happened as well. Update 2. So it's been a week since my last update and two days back. For some reason, Riley decided to show up at our house again. I don't know why she came by this time, my husband and my kids were at home, so I did not even open the door. As soon as I saw that it was her standing outside, I asked her to leave, and I literally had my phone in my hand to call the cops if she refused.

So far, we had been blocking all the relatives who had been texting us in favor of Riley, and we also blocked her everywhere, so she wouldn't be able to contact us. Basically, we had no idea what had been going on with everyone else because, as they say, ignorance is bliss. I guess that's why she took the trouble to show up in person and when I told her to leave, she told me that she just wanted to see Abby just once. After all, Abby was her biological daughter, and if she couldn't take her with her, the least I could do for her was allow her to catch a glimpse of how she looked now. Her voice sounded like it was

about to crack, like when people are about to cry, but I was not falling for that. I told her that I was not going to allow her to even see Abby anymore because she had lost that right when she left her with us for a free-spirited lifestyle. Besides, after all the rubbish that she had posted online and the way she had sent her entire family after us, she had no right to even speak to us. So I gave her one last warning to leave and instead, she started begging me not to do this. But I didn't care, I told my husband what was going on, so he took the kids to the nursery and I called the cops. We just didn't want the kids to get to know that any of this was happening, so he played with them while I handled the cops and she was escorted off our property. She went away quietly, without any

drama, which was quite suspicious because I really didn't think that was going to happen since while we were waiting for the cops to arrive, she kept begging me to let her see her daughter and promised me that she would go away and never bother me again if I'd just let her see Abby once. Anyway, after she left, my husband and I had a talk, but unfortunately, we realized that we couldn't stop her from showing up. We could file a restraining order against her, but that's the most that we could do and even then, we couldn't ensure that she would never show up again. Moving away, was not happening, especially in this economy when rent is so expensive. Luckily, my father-in-law had bought us this house and it also meant a lot to us sentimentally,

so we didn't want to move. We just have to deal with it, I guess. Update 3, hey, so I received a lot of comments on my last post calling me heartless. All because I didn't allow Riley to see Abby, and it's fascinating how people are calling me heartless right now, even though it was really who had abandoned her baby and left to move to another country, so she could live freely. And then after that, she's come back after five years without any contact in between, with no concern for her baby's well-being and now, all of a sudden, she can't wait to be a mother again? Not to mention how idiotic her behavior has been ever since she came back, how she has been playing the victim and sending her relatives after me.

It's really difficult to feel sorry for somebody like that, and I really don't feel sorry for her at all. Besides, I had thought of all the possibilities. and after that, I had declined. The biggest thing that I have been worried about is that she might have blurted something out in front of Abby and then, I would have to explain to a five-year-old thing that she has no business knowing at the moment. It's just not necessary to create all the drama

and that's why I asked her to leave. I don't think I'm the heartless one here at all and whoever left those comments really needs to re-evaluate what they think. Anyway, now that that is out of the way, I want to talk about what happened recently. And I think after hearing me out, whoever had been calling me, heartless for not letting Riley see Abby will change their mind too because she's obviously unstable. Last week, I refused to let her see Abby, and a couple of days ago, she decided to take

matters into her own hands and started stalking us. At first, neither my husband, nor I were suspicious, but then, we started noticing that every time we would go out, there was the same car trailing us all the time. It didn't take much for us to figure out that it must have been Riley and a couple of days later, we decided to confront her. We pulled over while she was driving behind, went to her car, and demanded that she come out and when she did, I read her the riot act in the middle of the street. I didn't even care about who was watching us, I just wanted her to know that what she was doing

was messed up and that I was going to file a restraining order against her because she was unstable and obviously did not deserve to be around Abbey. She was quiet for the first couple of minutes, but when I told her that she did not deserve to be around Abby, she started yelling back at me and told me that she was going to make sure that she took custody of her daughter away from me. She was really getting on my nerves so I called her psychotic and told her to get off our backs. And then, she slapped me and it happened so suddenly that I didn't even see it coming.

After she slapped me, she immediately started apologizing to me with tears in her eyes, but I was done. Physical violence was where I drew the line, and add to that the stalking, the constant harassment, and everything else, I knew that I had to speak to a lawyer. My husband and I were obviously pretty shocked, and we were headed to the grocery store at the time, but we didn't end up going. We headed back home and even when we were getting back into our car, she followed us to the car and was begging for forgiveness all that while. Eventually, my husband had to tell her that if she tried to follow us back home, he would make sure that she faced some terrible consequences.

So she didn't follow us back and when we got home, I immediately called my lawyer up and explained everything to him. Once that was done, he reassured us that he would be preparing the paperwork to file a restraining order against her. Just be on the safe side. He also told us to report Riley and press charges against her. So a couple of minutes later, after speaking to our lawyer, we called the cops and explained everything to them, and since it was just a slap, my husband, and I had thought that she would be let off with a warning. But then, when we told them

about the stalking and everything, they decided to press charges against her. So that's definitely going to come in handy when we are trying to get that restraining order. We haven't heard from Riley ever since, and we are hoping to keep it that way because after everything that has happened, I really just don't even think that we have anything to talk about. We never did in the first place, but until now, we had been trying to keep things civil. She hadn't been doing that, but we just didn't want drama in our lives, and we figured that if we kept ignoring her, she would take the hint and leave us alone, but clearly that's not what has happened. That's on us, we should have nipped this in the butt instead of trying to play nice at all.

Our children are our first priority, and we are just hoping that this doesn't affect them in any way. Until now, it really hasn't, apart from them just constantly asking us if we are fine because I guess we've been a little quieter than usual. However, we are trying to fix that and not let them know what we're going through because keeping them happy is our main goal right now. Everything's been incredibly stressful for both my husband and I, but I really do hope that things get better soon and yes, please just keep praying for the best for us now. Update 4, hi, it's been a month since my last update, and a couple of days back, we've finally managed to get the restraining order through.

It's been a huge relief because we've been pretty stressed out about this whole thing. She also got several hours of community service for stalking and slapping me. We haven't exactly heard from her, but I know that my mother-in-law is very upset about this. Yet again, instead of being upset at the right person, she's upset with us. She thinks that it's our fault that I ended up getting slapped that day. And she has even reached out to my parents to communicate that to them. She thinks that I'm heartless and if I had just let Riley see her daughter one time, none of this would have happened. She called my parents a couple of weeks ago and she told them

that I'm the one who pushed her daughter into doing something like this. And right now, things are going pretty badly for Riley. I don't know how any of this is my fault and even if it technically was my fault, wouldn't my husband be at fault too? He didn't say anything about him and I really can't think of any reason to involve my parents in this. I honestly don't understand why that woman has it for me, or rather, why my husband's family seems to hate me so much. I have never been anything but nice to them, but I guess that's just not enough for some people. Thankfully, she had only spoken to my parents on the phone and hadn't bothered them in person. So they had the liberty to hang up whenever they felt like they had had enough.

So they only had to hear her out for a couple of minutes before disconnecting the phone call and even after that, she sent them a bunch of messages, calling them rude and mannerless and saying that she finally understood where I got it from. I think it's really crazy that she's going to such lengths just to humiliate me, knowing that I've not done anything wrong. I'm sure that she's not that delusional in reality because when I used to be on speaking terms with her in the past, she seemed like a pretty reasonable person. Anyway, if this is what she's choosing to do, that's her call. All is going to do is make sure that her son never speaks to her and she doesn't have any access to her grandkids. But I hardly think that's going to affect her because she's already

spent five years without them. I think she can go five more. Eventually, though, she is going to realize that she's not getting anything out of Riley and she's going to come crawling back to us and then we'll talk. Anyway, my parents didn't seem to care and they just wanted to inform me that this was happening behind my back. I felt a little insulted, and I felt like I had to apologize to my parents, but they just dismissed it because obviously they understood that this was not my fault. So that was all done and dusted and now we just hope that this doesn't put ideas into my mother-in-laws or Riley's head and they don't go talking to other people. So far, they have only stuck to trying to emotionally manipulate my husband's family, but if they take this public

and start talking to our friends or co-workers, that would be pretty humiliating for us. We can't exactly do anything to prevent it from happening, but we are just hoping that it doesn't. but at least we got the restraining order, so that's been a huge relief. Now, if she tries to show up, we're just going to get her arrested and that'll put an end to all of this. Since that's done, my husband and I are going to try and focus more of our time on our kids. I guess we've been spending a little less time with them ever since Riley came back into our lives and so, we have decided that we are going to take a vacation. We've already started planning for it and spoken about it at work as well.

We're pretty excited because I think we deserve this break after all that we have been through as a family. So well, let's see how that goes and I think that's about it for me right now. So it's been a couple of months since my last update and after I came back home from vacation with my kids, we felt a lot lighter, so I hadn't exactly been active here. Anyway, last evening, I received a message from a number I did not recognize, but after reading through it, I realized that it was Riley's fiancé who had shown up with her the first day that everything started. I was truly very confused as to why he was texting me, but then, I read his message and well, long story short, he dumped Riley and he just wanted to text and apologize to us.

It was actually Riley who had shared my contact info with him at first because she wanted him to text me when I had blocked her, but he thought that it would be taking it too far, so he never did. Up until recently, he had been sympathizing with Riley because he thought that I was wrong but there had always been a little doubt about it in his mind. And I don't know what changed all of a sudden because he didn't mention anything in his message, but he said that recently, he had had the realization that Riley was the one who was wrong here and he didn't want to be a part of something so messed up anymore. So he had to dump her and he was moving back to his hometown in a couple of days but before that, he just wanted to apologize to me for all the inconvenience

that Riley had caused me. It was actually pretty sweet of him because I didn't think that he had been part of any of this, as far as I knew, but he was literally just apologizing for not standing up for me and doing the right thing. I showed it to my husband and he was pretty surprised about it as well, but then, we just told him that it was fine and wished him all the best and that was it. Then, this morning, we heard from a couple of friends that Riley had been crying about this on social media. Apparently, she had posted a video, saying that she had been dumped by her fiance who had been with her for the past three years and it was all my fault. Again, I don't understand how any of this is my fault, but I guess this is just how she and her mother roll.

Whatever goes wrong in their lives, just blame me for it. Whatever, that video was obviously posted so people would sympathize with her and give her attention and they did end up doing so because our friend told us that the comment people hating on me and telling Riley that she deserved better. They were painting her to be some tragic figure who had been through so much, but well, I guess we also know the truth about her. Anyway, it doesn't matter because she's getting all her karma right now. Update 6. My last update was just a couple of weeks back and I didn't think I'd be back here so soon but what I found out is hilarious. Our friends told us that right now, Riley and my mother-in-law are having a very public fight on social media. Apparently, after Riley was dumped,

to blame her mother too in one of her videos. I guess after blaming me for a couple of days, she realized that I was not going to respond so she chose to start blaming her mom. She claimed that apparently her mother was the one who had made her give up her baby to me and now, she was equally at fault for the situation at hand. Her fiancé leaving her is apparently everybody else's fault now and it's hilarious how she's dodging accountability. I guess she is in denial right now. But she can't run away from the truth someday she'll have to accept her own faults. Until then, though, she can definitely go on blaming her mom for everything because the way they are fighting online right now is hilarious. I hope you enjoy this story.

Housemate acquired a therapy feline, yet declined to tidy up after it. Consequently, I recorded all occurrences and departed. Twelve months later, she reappeared with her cat and we concluded. up in a fight. Hey Reddit, I'm in a messy situation, literally, and I need some outside perspective. I'm a 24-year-old woman, and I live with my roommate, Claire, who's 23. For the most part, we've been good. We clicked when we first met, had similar ideas about keeping a place tidy, and we split the chores right down the middle, 50 to 50. It was all smooth sailing. Then, a few months ago, Claire got in a emotional support animal, a cat. I'm going to name the cat snowball. Now, I'm not a cat

hater. I don't have any allergies, and honestly, I thought it might even be kind of nice to have a furry little creature around. I was totally fine with it at first. Maybe even a little excited at the idea of having a pet around without the full responsibility. I had pictured us chilling on the sofa, the cat purring between us. But, reality set in pretty quickly. The problem isn't the cat itself, it's the aftermath. Misty, sheds like there is no tomorrow. I'm talking clumps of white fur everywhere. It's on the couch, on the chairs, clinging to the curtains, even somehow magically floating in the air.

It's like living in a perpetual fur storm. And it's not just the hair. Misty has this habit of knocking things over. Little things at first, like pens off the coffee table, a stashire. of magazines. But then it escalated. One time, Misty launched itself off a bookshelf, taking a whole row of Claire's decorative ceramic figurines with it. They shattered on the floor, little pieces everywhere. I spent a good hour helping her pick up the shards, feeling a little knot of resentment starting to form. And the scratching. Misty seems to think the legs of our dining table,

thankfully Clare's, not mine, are its personal scratching post. Their pears' covered in these deep gouges. The real issue, though, is that Claire doesn't really clean any of this up. Or, not adequately, anyway. She'll maybe run a hand over the couch to brush off some fur. But it's back within an hour. She'll pick up the bigger things Misty knocks over, but she leaves the smaller messes. And the scratching?

She just shrugged and said, that's what cats do. She keeps saying that Misty is an emotional support animal. and that having her helps with her anxiety. She says that the shedding and the occasional chaos are just part of having an ESA and that it's a small price to pay for the comfort Misty provides. Meanwhile, my own anxiety is going through the roof. I like things clean. I need things to be organized.

The constant mess is genuinely making me stressed. It feels like I'm living in someone else's disorganized world. It's not just a visual thing, either. It's the feeling of constantly having to be careful, of knowing that at any moment, another thing might get knocked over, another cloud of fur might settle on the clean laundry I just folded. So, I finally brought it up. I tried to be as nice as possible. I said something like, hey Claire, I'm noticing a lot of cat hair around lately, and it's been a bit overwhelming. Could you maybe try to vacuum a little more often? She immediately got defensive.

She said I was being insensitive to her needs, that Misty was helping her through a tough time, and that I should be more understanding. She told me that cleaning actually stresses her out, and that the whole point of having Misty was to reduce her stress, not add to it. Then she said something that really got to me. She implied that I should be helping to clean up the cat messes, since I supposedly benefit from Misty's presence. I don't.

I'm neutral about the cat, at best. I certainly don't feel like I'm getting any emotional support from it. I'm just getting a lot of extra cleaning. I ended up cleaning the whole house it took four whole hours. I was so tired. I had back pain. I'm sticking to our original agreement. I do my half of the chores, cleaning the kitchen, the bathroom, taking out the trash, all that stuff.

I even vacuum my own room and the common areas occasionally, just to keep things from getting totally out of control. But I refused to spend hours every week dealing with the excessive amount of cat hair and the other messes that Misty creates. So, Reddit, am I the A-hole here? Am I being a heartless roommate by refusing to take on extra cleaning because of Claire's ESA? Update 1, a few days later, okay.

So I wanted to give a quick update based on some of the comments and questions I got on my first post. First off, thanks for the feedback, everyone. seems like most people are saying I'm NTA, which is validating, but there were a few ESH and info votes, so I want to address those. One of the main info questions was about whether Claire has an official ESA letter. Yes, she does. She showed it to me when she first got Misty. But honestly, it doesn't really matter, because our apartment complex allows pets anyway. There's a pet fee, which Claire is paying, so the ESA letter just means she doesn't have to pay

for having a cat specifically. It doesn't give her any special rights to, you know, let the place turn into a fur-covered disaster zone. The other clarification I wanted to make is that Claire does clean. She's not a complete slob. She does her share of the regular chores, like dishes and taking out the trash. It's just the cat-specific messes that she's neglecting. The constant shedding, the things Misty knocks over,

the scratches on the furniture, those are the things she's not dealing with adequately. After reading all the comments, I decided I needed to try talking to her again. I really wanted to find a solution that would work for both of us, without involving a landlord or anything drastic. So, I waited until we were both home, and I asked her if we could chat for a minute. I tried to be super calm and non-confrontational. I suggested a compromise.

I said, look, I understand that Misty helps you. and I'm not asking you to get rid of her. But the mess is really getting to me. How about this? You commit to cleaning up the cat-specific messes, vacuuming the fur, wiping down surfaces, dealing with anything Misty knocks over,

at least three times a week. And in return, I'll do a general vacuum of the whole apartment twice a week, just to help keep things under control. I thought it was a pretty reasonable offer. It acknowledged her needs while also addressing my concerns about the cleanliness of our shared living space. But she refused.

She said it was too much pressure to have a specific cleaning schedule for the cat messes. She said it would make her feel like she was constantly being monitored and judged. She claimed that having to clean up after Misty on a set schedule would actually increase her anxiety, which, again, defeats the whole purpose of having an ESA. Then, a few days ago, I found cat hair and my food. I had a sealed container of leftovers in the fridge and when I opened it up, there was a single, white cat hair, right on top. I know it's not the end of the world, but it was just the final straw.

It felt like a violation, like the cat hair was invading even my personal food space. It made me feel nauseous, and I had throw away the food. It's getting harder and harder to stay calm and rational about this. I'm starting to feel genuinely resentful, and I'm constantly on edge, wondering what mess I'm going to find next. I'm seriously considering trying to involve the landlord, but I'm worried about escalating the situation. I don't want to make things even more awkward or hostile between us.

But I also don't know how much longer I can live like this. Our lease is up in six months, and I'm starting to count down the days. Update 2, one week later, all right, things have not improved. I haven't gone full nuclear yet, but I did take a small step twice. involving the landlord. I didn't directly complain about Claire or Misty, but I did submit a general maintenance request for something unrelated, a leaky faucet, and in the additional comment section, I mentioned that there was excessive pet hair throughout the common areas of the apartment. The landlord responded to the maintenance request pretty quickly, and they sent a general email

to all tenants in the building, reminding them about the pet cleanliness policies. It was a pretty generic email, nothing specific to Claire, but I was hoping it might at least make her think twice about letting the fur pile up. It didn't. There's been absolutely no change in her behavior. Misty is still shedding like crazy, and Claire is still not cleaning it up. I even saw Misty jump onto the kitchen counter, right next to where we prepare food, and Claire didn't even blink. So, I decided to try one last thing before resorting to more drastic measures. I scheduled a formal roommate meeting. I know, it sounds super official, but I felt like I needed to make it clear that this was a serious issue. I even prepared a written chore chart, specifically outlining the

responsibilities related to Misty. It included things like vacuum living room rug, minimum 3x slash week. Wipe down surfaces to remove cat hair daily. Clean up any items knocked over by Misty immediately, and address scratching damage to furniture, ongoing. I presented it to Claire during our meeting, trying to be as calm and reasonable as possible. I explained that I wasn't trying to be controlling, but that I needed a clear agreement on how we were going to handle the cat-related messes. I even offered to take on some extra non-cat-related chores to balance things out.

She refused to sign it. She said the chore chart was controlling and passive-aggressive. She accused me of trying to micromanage her life and said that it was making her feel like she was living in a prison, not a home. Then, she started crying. She said I was attacking her mental health and that I was being completely insensitive to her struggles with anxiety. She told me that I had no idea how much Misty helped her and that I was making her feel like a terrible person for needing an emotional support animal. The whole thing was a disaster. I felt bad that she was crying, but I also felt like she was manipulating the situation to

avoid taking responsibility. I'm not backing down, though. I'm sticking to the original chore division, plus doing the occasional extra vacuuming that I volunteered for. But I'm not going above and beyond to clean up after Misty. I'm also starting to document everything. I'm taking photos of the messes and noting the date and time. I'm not sure if I'll ever need this evidence. but it makes me feel a little bit more in control of the situation. And, most importantly, I'm actively looking for a new apartment. I've started browsing listings online and contacting landlords. I'm determined to find a place that is clean, cat-free, and drama-free when my lease is up.

Update 3, one month later, things have definitely escalated. It's like living in a passive-aggressive war zone. Claire has started leaving notes around the apartment, criticizing my share. chores. Little things, like did you forget to wipe down the counter after you made breakfast? Or the trash can is overflowing, again. The thing is, I am doing my chores. I'm meticulously following the original agreement, and I'm even doing the extra vacuuming I volunteered for. Her notes are completely unfounded. It's like she's trying to deflect attention away from the cat mess by making it seem like I'm the one slacking off. It's gotten to the point where we barely

speak to each other. When we do interact, it's incredibly strained. She's become withdrawn and hostile, and I'm constantly on edge, waiting for the next passive-aggressive-aggressive note or snide comment. One day I was cleaning up the cat hair, and then she came and said sarcastically, Oh, I see you are finally cleaning. I was furious that I just left. I went to a nearby cafe and calmed myself down. But the worst part, the thing that's really pushing me over the is the smell. The apartment is starting to smell faintly of cat urine. It's not overwhelming yet, but it's definitely there. A subtle, unpleasant odor that hangs in the air. I haven't mentioned anything to Sarah because I don't even want to talk to her. I'm pretty sure Claire

isn't cleaning the litter box often enough. I haven't actually seen her do it in weeks. I don't want to go snooping around in her room, but the smell is becoming increasingly noticeable, and it's making the whole apartment feel unclean, even in the areas that I do keep tidy. I tried using air fresheners, but they just masked the smell temporarily. I had a friend over the other day, and even they commented on the smell. They didn't say anything directly about cat urine, but they made a face when they walked in and said, is something off? It was mortifying. I made some excuse about a cooking experiment gone wrong, but I was so embarrassed. I've stopped inviting.

people over altogether. I've officially reached my breaking point. I can't wait until the lease is up. Six months feels like an eternity. I've started researching options for breaking the lease. I've been reading up on tenant rights, looking for legal loopholes, and even considering talking to a lawyer. I know it's going to be a hassle, and it might cost me some money, but I'm at the point where I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get out of this situation. My own well-being, my mental health, has to be my priority. I can't keep living in a messy, smelly apartment with a roommate who refuses to take responsibility for her pet. Update 4. Three months later, final update. Okay, Reddit, this is it. The final update. I'm officially out. It's been a long, stressful thing,

but I've finally managed to escape the furry, smelly, passive-aggressive nightmare that was my living situation. First, the lease breakage. After a lot of research and back and forth, I managed to negotiate a lease break with the landlord. It wasn't easy. I had to pay a fee, basically two months rent, which stung, but honestly, it was worth it for my peace of mind. I presented the landlord with all the documentation I had collected, the photos of the messes, the dates and times, copies of the passive-aggressive notes Claire had left, everything. I also explained the situation calmly and rationally, emphasizing that I had tried to resolve the issue with Claire directly, multiple times,

but that she had been unwilling to cooperate. The landlord was surprisingly understanding. I think the photos of the cat urine stains on the carpet, which I discovered after moving some furniture, were probably the deciding factor. Claire, of course, was furious. She accused me of going behind her back and sabotaging her. She claimed that I was exaggerating the situation and that the landlord was being unfair. But the landlord had seen the evidence, and while they didn't explicitly take my side,

they agreed to let me break the lease without any further penalties. The actual moving-out process all right, to say the least. Claire avoided me as much as possible. I just focused on packing my things as quickly and efficiently as possible. I hired movers to help with the bigger items, just to minimize the amount of time I had to spend in the apartment. The new apartment is everything I dreamed of. It's clean.

It's quiet. It's cat-free. The first night I spent there, I just sat on the floor, surrounded by boxes, and breathed a sigh of relief. Claire, predictably, sent me a long, angry text message after I left. She accused me of being a terrible friend, a horrible roommate, and basically, the worst person in the world. She said I was selfish, inconsiderate, and that I had ruined her life by moving out. She even claimed that I had traumatized Misty by abandoning her. I read the message, and then I blocked her number.

I didn't need that negativity in my life anymore. I'm done. In future roommate situations, and I am planning on having roommates again, if I'm Eventually, because living alone is expensive, I'm going to be up front and honest from day one. Clear expectations, clear communication, and a willingness to address problems before they become insurmountable. I've even been thinking about creating a roommate agreement template, something that covers all the basics, chores, guests, noise levels, shared expenses, and, yes, even pet responsibilities. It might seem a little formal, but I think it could prevent a lot of misunderstandings and conflicts down the road. Maybe I'll even post it on Reddit, see if anyone else finds it helpful.

As for Claire, I don't hate her. I'm angry and I'm definitely still resentful, but I also recognize that she's probably going through a tough time. I don't know the specifics of her anxiety, and I'm not trying to minimize her struggles. But I also know that her mental health isn't my responsibility. It's hers. And using an emotional support animal as an excuse to avoid basic hygiene and and shared responsibilities is just not okay. I'm so glad to be out of that situation. I'm starting a new chapter in a clean, cat-free apartment, and I'm determined to make it a positive

one. I might even get a plant. Something that doesn't shed. Or maybe a fish. Something low maintenance. But definitely no cats. Not for a long, long time. I think a small little dog that won't cause much trouble would be good. A hypoallergenic breed, maybe. Something small and fluffy that I can be responsible for, and that won't trigger a repeat of the great cat hair catastrophe of 2023. Edit, writing a small update to this. A few months after I moved out, I surprisingly received a friend request from Claire, on Facebook of all places. I was shocked. I accepted it. She sent me a message saying she was sorry. But it was not a proper apology. The apology was filled with excuses and she still blamed me for everything that had happened. I had a new roommate. Her name was Jane,

she was neat and tidy just like me. She even made a roommate agreement, which I found it funny because I was going make one myself. One day when I and Jane were watching a movie, I heard a knock. It was Claire. I was beyond shocked. I slowly, opened the door. Claire had bought Snowball with her. She said she wanted to apologize in person. She started talking but I wasn't even listening to her. All I could see was Misty jumping on my new sofa. I immediately told her to get out. Claire started yelling at me again. Jane came and tried to calm us down, but Claire pushed Jane. I was furious. I pushed Claire back. We started fighting physically, pulling each other's hair, punching and kicking. Jane finally separated us.

Claire left crying, while holding Misty. I had bruises on my arm. My legs were hurting. Jane aided my bruises. After that incident I blocked Claire from everywhere possible. That was the last time I ever saw her. It's been almost a year now, and everything is going great. Jane and I are best of friends, and we respect each other's space and boundaries. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse interacts with our children as if they were companions, damages their playthings, and became emotional when our daughter referred to her school friend as her closest pal. I apologize if this seems disorganized or improperly arranged.

Our most recent fight just happened and I'm still upset, plus I've never posted something this. My 29 F, husband 33M, we've been married for four years, together for seven. We have two kids, daughter 4F, and son 2M, I'm really not sure where to start. My husband is an overgrown child, he just doesn't know when it's time to be serious. This is the only problem in our marriage. He's extremely loving, affectionate, and kind. He loves being a dad. He loves our children more than anything.

and they love him as well. He is constantly playing with them, and I think this is where issues start to arise. My husband cannot understand when it's time to put playtime on pause. I'm serious when I say he's in playtime mode with our children from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep. This results in extremely hyperactive children in the morning when I'm trying to get our daughter ready for kindergarten, and it's extremely frustrating struggle to get her fed slash clean slash dressed and out the door on time for school, where he then will drive her to. At night, this results in hyperactive children who can take up to two hours to get to settle down and go to bed, and by then it's way past their bedtime and will sometimes wake up grumpy in the

morning because they didn't get enough sleep. He will sometimes even be egging our children on at night when we're sitting with them in bed trying to wind them down to sleep. It's incredibly infuriating and I will tell him to stop because I'm clearly trying to get them to sleep and all he's doing is keeping them up. He laughs and says he's just having fun. Husband doesn't do hard discipline. He tells our kids to stop fighting each other or to stop touching fragile objects, but when it comes to timeouts or taking away things like dessert,

certain toys, TV time for the day, etc., he all but refuses. He will leave me to be the bad guy and I'm absolutely sick of it. I'm tired of feeling like I'm the mean mom who doesn't like fun or has to ruin their fun, but he just won't do it. I've told him that he needs to stop leaving all the hard discipline up to me, says he will, but then leaves it all up to me again next time. I dread when the kids are older and things like grounding become a thing. My husband is constantly breaking our children's toys because he wants to play with them.

He's broken a little kid trampoline we got for them because he wanted to jump and play on it with them. He's broken too, our daughter and sons, of those toddler-sized motorized cars. by sitting on them and riding around with them. Like, I would look out the window and see him riding around on these things having the time of his life. Meanwhile, our kids are standing on the edge of the yard watching him and waiting for their turn. He's broken a little kid basketball hoop by pretending to be on a pro basketball team and doing dunks, which banned and break the actual hoop. Our daughter's birthday was last month, and one of our friends bought her a little scooter. My husband broke it within a week because he wouldn't

stopped playing and doing tricks on it every time he stepped outside the house for something. Our daughter was devastated because she loved that thing, even more so because she loves our friend who gave it to her, so to her it was extra special. I also feel terrible that this toy my friend spent her money and was destroyed by my husband before my daughter barely got any playtime on it. Now, my husband is six foot and about 20 pounds overweight. He has absolutely no business playing on these children's toys, and I've told him time and time again to stop playing on them because they aren't made for a person his size, and that he will break them. And then he does. And he'll sheepishly carry the broken toy into me and say sorry. But then he's back at it again destroying another

toy shortly after. We got our daughter a bike for Christmas so she can start learning, and I don't even want to give it to her because I know he'll ruin it for her like he always does with their toys. These are just some of the bigger broken toy examples. There are also countless smaller things of theirs he's broken, like balls, dolls, little cars, a doll house, a slide, etc. He's always making our kids play with him, even when they clearly don't want to or just want to chill out slash relax and sit and watch a movie. This mostly applies to our son, who is much more introverted slash sensitive than our daughter and usually prefers calm and quiet interaction over the loud and hyperactive. active play time my husband always does. A handful of times he has frustrated slash overwhelmed our son by continuously pushing son to play with him, resulting in son to start to cry because he just

wants to be left alone. Now finally on to what prompted me to post here. My husband is always telling our kids and everyone else that our kids are his best friends. Since our daughter started learning to talk, he's trained her to answer the question who's your best friend? With Daddy, our son is in early talking stages and he is starting to train him do this as well. At first I didn't see any issues with this and actually thought it was cute. But our daughter has made a really good friend 5F. I'll call her Emily at school this year. Daughter is always talking about Emily and asking if Emily can come over slash daughter can go to Emily's house. Today my husband asked our daughter, who's your best friend? And our daughter paused for a moment, got a huge

grin on her face and said Emily. And it looked like my husband had just been given the worst news of his entire life. He asked her what? And our daughter started giggling and said Emily. Again and my husband said no, no, who's your best friend? And again, still giggling, she says Emily. My husband's face went blank and immediately removed himself from her and went into the other room. Our daughter seemed a little confused, but mostly undisturbed and went back to watching cartoons. I followed him and asked him what was wrong and when he starts talking I realize he's beginning to cry. He tells me that he's supposed to be our daughter's best friend and that he can't believe she would toss him aside like that. Now up until now, like I said, I thought this best friend thing was

cute. I never realized exactly how serious my husband took this. If I had I would have tried to put a stop to it early on. But then again, how exactly can you tell your husband to stop calling his kids his best friends? Anyway, I was a bit shocked at this point and I admit I didn't use as much tact in my response as I probably could have, and ask him if he's serious. He says, of course I am and I tell him that he's the parent. He's not supposed to be a best friend to his kid. He's not supposed to be a best friend to his kids. He's supposed to be the parent. And that he's 29 years older than our daughter, of course she's going to eventually make friends her own age and start considering them her best friends. He tells me I don't understand and I told him he was being ridiculous and childish.

He looks at me as if I just slapped him and tells me I'm being heartless and accuses me of not wanting him to have a good relationship with our kids and leaves the house early to go to work. I have no idea what to do. I almost feel ridiculous. Because how can someone have an issue with their husband loving their kids? I feel insane, and I haven't been able to talk to any friends about this because I feel like they'll all be so you're mad at your husband for playing with your kids. What's wrong with you?

But I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to address these issues with my husband in a way he'll understand so he'll start being reasonable about them. I also feel extremely anxious about everything now, because my husband and I've been trying for the last two months to conceive another baby, and now I don't want to bring another child into the world without having this mess sorted out. But I know telling my husband I want to wait on this third child will devastate him. Edit.

Since it's being asked a few times, I'm just going to put this here instead of typing the same comment over and over. My husband's relationship with his parents growing up was, in his words, great. He has three siblings, all successful adults, and his parents' interaction with our kids now give no indication that they are the reason my husband doesn't seem able to grasp parenting himself. Update A few things first, I just want to thank everyone who commented on my op. I got overwhelmed with the amount of responses while on mobile, had no computer when I posted, and stopped replying, but I read every single comment and story.

I've received a few PMs asking for an update. and I'm sorry it's so late. This update would be extremely long if I typed every single detail, and still is kind of long, whoops, so I'm gonna try and condense it. So, I sat my husband down the night he got home from work after posting my op

and we had a long talk. Again, this would be incredibly long if I wrote all the details, so I'm gonna summarize and go in the order of my points I made in my op keep in mind. Our talk didn't follow the order of my post, so I'm sorry if anything seems confusing. Since it would have been discussed out of order on not knowing when to pause playtime,

I told him that I know he loves playing with the kids, and I love that he loves playing with the kids, but that I really need him to work with me during bedtime. I also once again pointed out that their lack of sleep is making them grumpy and harder to manage in the mornings, and that they're growing and need their sleep. He's had a couple slip-up since, but he's cooled it down around bedtime now and makes more of an effort to help me with bedtime. He started reading to them instead, I used it to it, and is 20 times better than me at it because they love the funny voices he gives the characters. On discipline, I told him it's not fair of him to constantly make me feel like the bad guy.

And that no parent likes disciplining their kids, but they need it to learn and grow into good adults, and that I need him to be united with me on punishments. He's having a little trouble with this one, but has been trying more, which I appreciate. On breaking their toys, I again, told him that I know he loves playing with our kids, but he needs to stop destroying their things. That not only is it upsetting them, but it's causing us to needlessly spending extra money to replace things that we don't need to be. I took this part of the talk to suggest we finally get a full-size trampoline like we had been talking about for a little while, and that he should dig out his bike from the garage so he can ride with our daughter when she learns. We're both probably more excited

about the trampoline than the kids' l-ol. We talked more about this topic, but these are the most relevant points. He realized he goes a little too far after I described the scene I wrote about in my op, with him riding around on their little cars while the kids are standing on the sidelines. I'm also happy to report he has stayed off our daughter's new bike. On making the kids play when they don't want to, he agreed that it wasn't cool of him to push just because he wants to play. I told him our kids are people, and just because their kids, doesn't mean they don't deserve to have their boundaries respected or time to themselves. And now on to the best friend thing. This was the first thing we discussed. Long story short, he was feeling hurt and generally having a

little trouble accepting our daughter was growing up. This is really the first big thing she's done or said to show that she is, in fact, growing up, and he just wasn't expecting it and handling it very poorly, which he knew he did. I took a line from a comment on my op and told him our children will have lots of best friends in their lifetime, but he will always be their only dad. This visibly comforted him, so thank you to whoever it was who wrote that. I took a suggestion from someone on the op, and suggested that he call up his own parents and ask them for advice on how they handed watching four kids grow up and leave the nest. He really liked this idea and has since done so.

I also showed him stories commenters on my op shared about their relationship with their parents growing up. I told him that I'm not showing him them because I think he's going to become like those parents, but that I think it's important he's see the children's side of things. These stories hit him pretty hard, which led into this. So, I left something out of my op that I didn't realize was relevant. of people asked how my husband's relationship with his parents was growing up, and I answered that it was great. However, my own relationship with my parents was horrible. Long story short, I don't get along with nor even like my parents, and I see slash talk to them maybe once a year. Growing

up was miserable, to say the least. And it affected me for quite a long time where I was a huge ball of anger and resentment because of the way my parents treated me. I told my husband about all of this a few months after we started dating, so he was aware of everything from the start. My husband told me he told himself he would be the best dad he could be, because he wanted our kids to have the childhood he knew I wanted, and wanted for them. Now, I started crying here and was a bit of a mess for a few minutes, LOL. It was honestly one of the most touching things anyone has ever said to me. I told him he is the best dad, and that I love him so much for it. Finding out that this was essentially the root of everything, it was a lot easier to continue on with the rest of my

points. Everything has been great since. He really listened to what I was saying this time, and has made a big effort to help me out more while also cooling it a bit with the kids. Him and our daughter have been riding around on their bikes together every weekend. I've also started learning how to ride so I can eventually join. Again, I want to thank everyone for commenting on my op and helping me gather my thoughts. I thought a few things said about my husband were a bit extreme, but I realized that something that happens when people give advice on a situation they only have so much info on. Next story, BF. almost proposed in Vegas, then went cold feet.

Turns out he's in love with his co-worker and has been cheating for months. I've been with my boyfriend John for five years. We have a pretty awesome relationship, great communication, fun, easygoing, with good chemistry. We've always talked about getting married, and I have, had no doubts that we would be getting engaged very soon. Recently, John, myself, John's closest friend and his girlfriend, went on a trip to Vegas for several days. We had a great time, all four of us, and on our last night there, John told us he wanted to go

to the Bellagio Fountains to see them before we had to leave. Everyone was up for it, we went for a nice dinner beforehand, and then began watching the fountains and the music came on. It was really romantic, and I was really enjoying myself, and that's when John grabbed my wrist. He turned me toward him and I saw that he was sweating profusely. Like, his face was bright red, and he looked like he was about to pass out from trembling so hard. The whole time it looked like he was about to say something, but he never did. He just informed all of us that he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go back to the hotel. Our friends looked really puzzled and were whispering into each other's ears all the way back to the hotel.

I kept asking John if he was okay, and he just said he probably had too much to drink. We've been back for a couple of weeks, and he's been acting really distant and cold. I honestly knew something weird was up that night in Vegas, so I called up John's friend's girlfriend, who I'm fairly close to, and asked her if she knew what was going on with John, since he had been at their place a lot this past week instead of coming home. Eventually, she spilled the beans and told me he had plans of proposing to me that night at the fountains, but then didn't. That's why the two of them had been acting so confused. I kept grilling her and she also told me that John had told his friend that it didn't feel right.

She made me promise not to tell John that I knew because she didn't want anyone to be upset with her. I'm feeling sick to my stomach. We live together and he has been spending all of his time at his friend's house or at his parents' place since we got back. He barely calls me or responds to my texts anymore. I don't know what happened that night, but I feel like he's about to end things. I want to talk to him, but I don't know how to approach the issue. Do I just say, hey, I heard you were going to pop the question the other night, but changed your mind? What gives?

Was he really nervous? Ah, I'm freaking out. Edit, he'll be home shortly, I told him over the phone I needed to talk to him, and his words were I need to talk to you too. I'll update when I can. Thanks for all the advice, folks. Update, hello everyone. I apologize for not updating sooner, but a lot has happened.

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who posted comments and to those who tried to reassure me. So John came home last night around 11.30 as I was watching TV in our bedroom. He came in and looked like absolute shit, his eyes looked tired and baggy and he smelled like beer. He apologized to me for the way he had been acting recently, and told me he knew that I knew about the almost proposal as he had talked to his friend Mike and he told John that his girlfriend Tara had told me everything. He basically said to me that he had the whole thing planned out. He was going to propose and Tara and Mike would take pictures, then we would go back to a romantic, more expensive room in our hotel, which Mike and Tara had to end up staying in that night so as to

make sure I wasn't aware of the fact that John was supposed to propose. They switched key cards while I was walking back. He then told me what I was afraid of. It just didn't feel right, I was looking at you, and it just wasn't what I wanted. Ouch. He told me that he had been nervous ever since he bought the ring. but that he'd thought it would go away once he actually proposed. In the moment, he said he knew that it was not what he wanted,

and thought it would be better to not ask me to marry him because he knew it wasn't what he'd want in the long run. So at this point I'm in hysterics, as I pretty much know that this is the end of the relationship. I tried to be calm and rational about it, but there was one point where I was crying so hard that I literally got down on my knees, put my head in his lap while he sat on the couch, and just kept in coherently saying please in between sobs.

Not my proudest moment. But at that moment, this man was my best friend, the future father of my children. I just never, ever in a million years, pictured our relationship coming to this point. He ended it with me last night because it didn't feel right, and that's all he could say to me, over and over it just doesn't feel right anymore. I can't see myself with you. At that point I could barely breath. feels like I'm having a panic attack, so I call my mom and she comes to pick me up from our place.

My poor mom, she just looked so helpless while I sat there in the car crying so hard I eventually got a nosebleed. So, I wish I could say this is the end of the story, but more has happened since last night. This morning, I'm on Facebook, looking through a bunch of old picture of John and me, sobbing uncontrollably and sending him text after text with reasons why we should be together, and I eventually stumble onto Mike's page through a tagged photo. He updated his status from a few hours ago to something along the lines of California was amazing, which work would send me for more than five days. My stomach started doing flips, because John kept telling me he was spending the days he was

practically ignoring me with Mike. But Mike was in California for several days, and we're in Canada, so not very close. I freaked. I called Mike from my house phone and when he answered, I said, hey, it's acetylac acid and all he could say after a few seconds of silence was fuck. Basically, Mike's been covering for John's ass while John is spending time with the girl he's been apparently fucking for the past six months.

I know this girl, John works with her and she's always been really sweet to me whenever I've seen her at John's work-related events. Mike told me that John had told him he was falling in love with her. He said this after the incident in Vegas. He's been spending almost all of the past two weeks with her. Mike then told me he had promised not to say a word to anyone, not even Tara, but he felt guilty and was glad I called him. He apologized and said if I had to tell John that he told me, I could.

That's all I know for now. I haven't bothered contacting John yet, and I don't know if Mike told him that I know. I don't know what I'm going to do. I've been throwing up all day. I took one of my mom's Aedivans and I'm feeling a bit calmer right now, but whenever I think about it, which is practically all that consumes my thoughts, I feel disgusted, humiliated and devastated. It actually feels like my heart is breaking in too and I have no control. I need to get my stuff from our place, I need to find a new place.

We have a dog who gets the dog. I love my dog. It all feels so surreal. Ugg Update same post via edit John called me a bunch of times while I was in an RX-induced slash depression coma

I woke up as he was calling me again and kind of just answered the phone without thinking about it he was crying and apologizing I guess Mike told him that I knew and saying he was confused he asked me where I was and I lied and said I was with my sister an hour

away from here at her place I asked him if he was with her he said yes, but that he'd be home tomorrow, so could I please meet him to talk about things at our house? I said sure. I asked my mom to drive me to our place a little while ago and I kidnapped my dog, brought her back and I'm feeling much, much better. I'm also not meeting with him tomorrow. You guys, I didn't think it would help this much to ask you guys for advice. But I've read each and every one of your comments and dear God, I feel 1,000x better than I did a few hours ago. Thank you, thank you. Like, I feel so, so different, it's weird.