Reddit Stories - Familial Revelations Unveiling Childhood Connections ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 75

Episode Date: April 15, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #childhoodmemories #secretsrevealed #emotionaljourney #unexpectedconnections  Summary: Episode 75 explores profound familial revelations, uncovering childhood connections that shape identities. Through a three-hour compilation, listeners engage with stories of betrayal, love, and the complexities of family dynamics, revealing how past experiences influence present relationships and personal growth, ultimately fostering understanding and healing among family members.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, family, childhood, emotional, storytelling, connections, revelations, drama, personalgrowth, healing, experiences, relationships, dynamics, secrets, understanding, journeyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse informed me that her longtime companion from childhood would forever hold a higher significance than me, prompting me to initiate divorce proceedings. Subsequently, she found herself expecting a child as a single parent after pursuing him persistently. Getting abandoned by her criminal baby daddy who's in prison for fraud. I'm still trying to figure out if I overreacted or if I'm. was justified. So here's some background that's probably relevant. I'm a 34M marine biologist

who works for a government research facility. Not the most exciting job, but it pays well and I get to study deep-sea creatures, which is pretty cool. My ex-wife Jenny, 32F, is a veterinary who I met at a mutual friend's barbecue about six years ago. We clicked immediately over our shared love of animals and terrible puns. Jenny has this childhood best friend, Sean, 33M, who she's known since they were literally in diapers. Their families live next door to each other growing up, and apparently they were inseparable as kids.

Sean is married to a woman named Laura, and they have two young kids. I always knew Jenny and Sean were close, but I figured that's just how some friendships work. They'd text frequently, have inside jokes. I didn't understand, and she'd prioritize his calls even during our dates sometimes. Now, I'm not typically a jealous person. In my line of work, you deal with a lot of uncertainty and you learn to go with the flow. But there were some things that bothered me. Like when we were planning our wedding three years ago, Jenny insisted Sean be in the wedding party even though I barely knew the guy. Or how she'd immediately drop whatever we were doing if Sean needed

something, whether it was moving furniture or just wanting to vent about his job. The breaking point came during what started as a stupid argument about vacation planning. We'd been married for three years at this point, and I suggested we take a trip to the Maldives for our anniversary. I'd been saving up specifically for this because Jenny had mentioned years ago that it was her dream destination. But she wanted to go camping instead because Sean and Laura were planning a camping trip and she wanted to coordinate so we could accidentally run into each other at the same campground. I pointed out that we could see Sean and Laura any time since they lived 20 minutes away, but the Maldives trip was something special just for us. That's when she got

defensive and said I was being selfish for not understanding how important Sean was to her. I tried to explain that I wasn't asking her to choose between us, just that sometimes our marriage should take priority. Then she said it, you need to understand that Sean will always be more important to me than you. He's been in my life since we were babies, and you've only been here for a few years. That's just how it is. I sat there for a solid minute just processing what she'd said. Not equally important or important in different ways, she literally said Sean would always be more important than me, her husband. I asked her to clarify what she meant, thinking maybe she'd misspoke or was just angry. But she doubled down, saying that Sean knew her better than I

ever could and that their bond was something I wouldn't understand because I didn't have friends from childhood. That night, I slept in our spare room. The next morning, I told her she had a choice to make either she could be married to me, or she could prioritize Sean over our marriage, but she couldn't do both. I said if she truly believed Sean would always be more important, then she should go be with him instead. She accused me of giving her an ultimatum, and I said yes, I absolutely was. She packed some bags and went to stay with her sister, saying I was being unreasonable and that I'd come crawling back once I realized how good I had it. I filed for divorce two weeks later. Jenny was convinced I'd change my mind right up until we signed the papers.

We didn't have kids and had kept our finances mostly separate, so it was just a matter of dividing up our stuff and selling the house. So Reddit, Ida. Part of me wonders if I threw away a good marriage over something I should have just accepted. But another part of me thinks that if your spouse tells you someone else will always be more important than you, that's pretty much the end of the relationship anyway. Edit, thanks for all the responses. A few people are asking why I didn't try marriage counseling first. Honestly, when someone tells you point blank that you'll never be their priority, counseling feels kind of pointless. What's a therapist going to do, convince her to lie about her feelings.

Edit 2. Some of you are asking about Sean's reaction to all this. As far as I know, he doesn't even know the real reason we divorced. Jenny told everyone it was because we grew apart and had irreconcilable differences. I never felt the need to set the record straight. Update 1. Hey Reddit, remember me? The marine biologist whose wife said her childhood best friend would always be more important than her husband. Well, it's been a while and I kind of forgot about this account, so wanted to update y'all. First off, a few of you suggested I was too hasty, but most of you got it.

When someone tells you they'll never prioritize you believe them. So here's what's been going on. The divorce was finalized about three months after my last post. I moved into a decent apartment near the research facility and was actually doing pretty well adjusting to single life. I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed having complete control over the TV remote and eating cereal for dinner without judgment. About a month after the divorce was final, I heard through friends that Jenny had been spending even more time with Sean and Laura. Apparently, she'd been going over to their house several times a week, helping with their kids, and basically inserting herself into their family dynamic in a way that was making Laura uncomfortable. Now, Laura and I were never close, but we got along fine at group gatherings.

She's always been a bit reserved, but she seems like a good person. According to our friend Chelsea, who works with Laura, Laura started feeling like Jenny was trying to take over her role in the family. Jenny would show up uninvited with groceries, help around the house, and would make plans with Sean without including Laura. The weird part is that Sean apparently didn't see anything wrong with this. He's always been a bit oblivious to social dynamics, I guess. But Laura was getting increasingly frustrated, and it was causing tension in their marriage.

Here's where it gets interesting, Reddit. About three weeks ago, Laura reached out to me, she just wanted to grab lunch and talk. She said she'd been thinking about my situation and had some questions about Jenny's behavior patterns. We met at this little seafood place near the marina, seemed appropriate given my job. Laura told me that since the divorce, Jenny had been acting like she was Sean's second wife. She'd call him at all hours, show up to his work to bring him lunch, and had even bought him expensive gifts for his birthday, stuff that Laura felt was inappropriate for a friend to give. The kicker was that Jenny had apparently told Laura that now that she was divorced, she could

finally focus on the relationships that really mattered. Laura asked her point-blank what she meant, and Jenny said she'd wasted too many. years letting her marriage get in the way of her friendship with Sean. Laura wanted to know if I'd noticed similar behavior during our marriage, and honestly, looking back, I had. Jenny always bought Sean really thoughtful gifts, remembered every little thing about his preferences, and would light up when talking about him in a way she rarely did when talking about me. I told Laura that I thought Jenny might have deeper feelings for Sean than she was admitting to herself. Laura said she'd been suspecting the same thing but felt crazy for thinking it. We ended up talking for about two hours,

and it was actually really validating. Laura thanked me for being honest and said she finally understood why I divorced Jenny. She also mentioned that she was planning to have a serious conversation with Sean about setting boundaries. So there you have it, read it. Turns out my ex-wife's obsession with her childhood best friend was exactly as inappropriate as I thought it was. I'm not saying I called it. But. Okay, I totally called it. The funny part is that I'm actually doing great.

I've been dating someone new, a fellow researcher who thinks my stories about deep-sea creatures are actually interesting instead of just politely tolerating them. Life's looking up. Edit. A few people are asking if I think Jenny was having an affair with Sean. Honestly, I don't think so. I think she was emotionally involved with him in a way that was inappropriate for a married woman, but I don't believe they were physical. Sean seems to genuinely love Laura as a friend maybe, and Jenny's thing feels more like an unrequited obsession than a mutual affair. Edit 2

Someone asked if I feel vindicated. Not really. I mean, it's nice to know I wasn't crazy, but mostly I just feel bad for Laura. She doesn't deserve to have her marriage destabilized by my ex-wife's inability to understand boundaries. Update 2. The only reason why I am being nosy and getting the details is because people are asking for updates, otherwise I consider that marriage over and I have since moved on. Quick recap for anyone just joining, divorced my wife Jenny after she told me her childhood

best friend Sean would always be more important than me. Turns out she was basically trying to become his second wife. which was making his actual wife Laura very uncomfortable. So, update time. Remember how Laura was going to have a serious conversation with Sean about boundaries? Well, that conversation happened, and it did not go the way anyone expected. I found out about this through Chelsea, who heard it from Laura during one of their workout sessions. Apparently, when Laura sat Sean down to talk about Jenny's behavior, he initially brushed off her concerns.

He said Jenny was just going through a hard time with the divorce and needed extra support from her friends. But then Laura laid out some specific examples that even Sean couldn't ignore. Like how Jenny had started doing his laundry when she came over to help with the kids. Or how she'd been cleaning his home office and organizing his computer files. Or, and this one's particularly weird, how she'd been buying the same shampoo that Sean uses and leaving bottles of it at their house in case they ran out. Sean finally started to see the pattern, but instead of just setting boundaries, he decided to have a heart-to-heart conversation with Jenny about her behavior. This is where things get really interesting. During this conversation, Jenny apparently broke down crying and confessed that she'd been in love with Sean since they were teenagers.

She told him that she'd only married me because she thought Sean would never see her as anything more than a friend. But that getting divorced had made her realize she couldn't keep pretending her feeling. didn't exist. Now, Sean is a decent guy, but he's also completely conflict-diverse. Instead of firmly shutting this down, he tried to let her down gently by saying he was flattered but committed to his marriage and could only offer friendship. Jenny took this as there might be a chance if circumstances were different rather than absolutely never going to happen. She started talking about how she knew he cared about her too, and how maybe they were meant to be together but just got the timing wrong. Sean thought he'd handled the situation well and told Laura that Jenny understood

where he stood. What he didn't realize was that Jenny had interpreted his gentle rejection as a challenge to prove her worthiness. This is where Jenny's behavior went from inappropriate to genuinely concerning. She started showing up at Sean's workplace more frequently, leaving little gifts on his car, and, here's the creepy part, she somehow got a key made to their house. Laura came home one day to find Jenny in their kitchen, cooking dinner as a surprise. Laura lost it, understandably, and told Jenny she was no longer welcome in their home. Jenny responded by saying that Laura was being selfish and that she should be grateful Jenny was willing to help take care of Sean and the kids.

Sean finally stepped up and told Jenny she needed to back off completely. He said their friendship was over if she couldn't respect his marriage and his family's boundaries. Jenny's response was to show up at their house the next night, drunk and crying, begging Sean to reconsider. The neighbors called the police when she started banging on their door and screaming about how Laura was keeping them apart. Sean and Laura are now considering moving. The ironic part.

I haven't spoken to Sean in over a year. I've been living my life, dating someone wonderful, and advancing my career. Meanwhile, Jenny has managed to completely destroy the relationship she claimed was more important than our marriage. Sometimes the trash takes itself out, Reddit. Edit Several people are asking if Jenny needs professional help. Probably, but that's not my problem anymore. I feel bad for Sean and Laura, but I'm not getting involved in this mess.

Edit 2, to address some comments, no, I don't feel guilty about the divorce contributing to Jenny's breakdown. Her behavior after our divorce just proved that I made the right decision. If anything, I dodged a much bigger bullet than I realized. Update 3. When Life Gives You Lemons, apparently some people make terrible decisions. Well read it, for those just tuning in, ex-wife Jenny destroyed her most important relationship by confessing her love to her married childhood best friend Sean, who rightfully shut her down. She then proceeded to stalk him and his family until they had to involve the police. So what's Jenny been up to since then? According to the Gossip Network, aka Chelsea,

who somehow knows everything about everyone, Jenny has been on a bit of a self-destructive spiral. After Sean cut contact completely, Jenny apparently decided the best way to get over him was to get under someone else. She started going out to bars regularly and, according to Chelsea, was making some pretty questionable choices about who she was bringing home. About two months ago, she started dating this guy she met at some dive bar downtown. His name is Max, he's about 10 years younger than us, and from what I've heard, he's basically everything I wasn't. Where I'm steady and career-focused, Max is impulsive and treats work like a suggestion. Where I preferred quiet nights at home, Max is apparently all about the party scene.

Now, I want to be clear, I'm not judging Jenny for dating someone different from me. People are allowed to have types, and maybe Max makes her happy in ways I couldn't. Good for her, honestly. But here's where it gets complicated. Chelsea told me that about a month ago, Jenny had been talking about how great things were going with Max and how he was helping her rediscover her wild side. She'd been posting photos of them at concerts, parties, and generally living it up. Then, a few weeks ago, Jenny apparently found out she was pregnant. Now, read it, I know what some of you are thinking, and let me stop you right there.

The timeline makes it impossible for this to be my kid. We've been divorced for over months, maybe over a year at this point, and we hadn't been intimate for weeks before I moved out. This is definitely Max's baby. According to Chelsea, and I realize I'm getting all this secondhand, so take it with a grain of salt, Jenny was actually excited about the pregnancy at first. She saw it as a fresh start and a chance to build a real family with Max Max, however, had a very different reaction. Apparently, when Jenny told him about the pregnancy, he completely freaked out.

He told her he wasn't ready to be a father and suggested she take care of it. When Jenny said she wanted to keep the baby, Max said he needed some time to think. That was three weeks ago, and Max has been thinking ever since. by which I mean he's been avoiding Jenny's calls and hasn't been seen at his usual hangouts. Chelsea says Jenny has been trying to track him down, but it's like he vanished into thin air. She's been calling his friends, showing up at his work, and generally doing the same stocky behavior she did with Sean, except this time the guy she's obsessing over is the father of her child. The really sad part is that Jenny has been reaching out to old friends looking for support,

but a lot of people are keeping their distance because of how she handled my and Sean situation. Apparently, word got around about her behavior, and people are concerned about getting dragged into her drama. I heard about all this about a week ago, and I'll be honest, my first reaction was a mix of wow, that sucks for her and thank God that's not my problem anymore. Which maybe makes me a terrible person, but I've worked hard to build a drama-free life, and I'm not eager to invite chaos back into it. My girlfriend asked if I felt bad for Jenny, and honestly, I do on some level. Nobody deserves to be abandoned when they're pregnant and scared.

But I also can't help thinking that Jenny's pattern of becoming obsessed with unavailable men and then acting inappropriately when rejected is finally catching up with her. The weirdest part of all this? According to Chelsea, Jenny has been telling people that she wishes she'd appreciated what she had with me. Apparently, she's been romanticizing our marriage and talking about how old I was the stable one she should have held on to. Which is rich, considering she literally told me Sean would always be more important than me, but whatever helps her sleep at night, I guess.

Anyway, that's the latest chapter in the Jenny Chronicles. I'm mostly sharing this because some of you have been following along, and it feels weird to leave the story unfinished. Plus, it's a good reminder that sometimes the best decision you can make is walking away from someone else's chaos. Edit, a bunch of you are asking if I think Jenny will try to reach out to me now that Max has disappeared. Honestly, I hope not.

I've blocked her on social media and changed my phone number since the divorce, so she'd have to work pretty hard to contact me. I'm not interested in being her backup plan or her emotional support system. Edit 2, to the people saying I should feel sorry for the baby, of course I do. No child deserves to be born into this kind of mess. But that doesn't mean I should get involved. Jenny made her choices, and now she has to live with the consequences. Update 4, final, Reddit, I honestly thought I was done updating you all on the Jenny situation,

but life had other plans. This will definitely be my final update because, frankly, I'm pretty much done. So, where we left off, Jenny was pregnant by her disappearing act boyfriend Max, feeling abandoned, and apparently having some regrets about how she'd handled our marriage. I was living my best drama-free life and planning to keep it that way. Well, Max finally resurfaced, and the situation somehow got even Messier than before. I found out about this through Chelsea again, seriously, this woman should work for the FBI, who heard it from Laura of all people. Apparently, Laura had run into Jenny at the grocery store looking visibly

pregnant and pretty rough around the edges. Laura, being a decent person despite everything Jenny put her through, asked how she was doing. Jenny, apparently desperate for anyone to talk to, unloaded the whole Max situation on Laura right there in the produce section. Which is how Laura learned that Max had been avoiding Jenny because he was dealing with some legal issues that he hadn't mentioned when they first started dating. Turns out Max had been arrested for some kind of fraud scheme involving fake contractor licenses and taking advance payments for home renovations he never completed. He'd been out on bail when he met Jenny, and his lawyer had apparently advised him to keep a low profile while his case was pending. When Jenny told him she was pregnant, Max panicked

because he realized he was probably going to prison and wouldn't be around to help raise a kid anyway. Instead of being honest about his situation, he just disappeared, which honestly seems to be his go-to-problem strategy. Jenny only found out about the legal issues when she finally tracked down one of Max's friends, who told her Max had been sentenced to 18 months in minimum security prison and wouldn't be getting out any time soon. So now Jenny is about five months pregnant with a baby whose father is in prison for fraud, and she suddenly realized that her support system has dwindled significantly due to her own behavior over the few years. According to Laura, Jenny asked if she thought Sean might be willing to talk to her and help her figure out what to do.

Laura, who is apparently a saint, told Jenny that ship had sailed and that she needed to focus on building healthier relationships going forward instead of trying to fix the ones she'd already destroyed. Here's where the story gets personally relevant to me again. A few days after Laura told Chelsea about this grocery store encounter, I came home to find someone had been by my apartment. There was no note or anything, but someone had left a potted plant by my door, one of those fancy orchids that Jenny always loved but I could never keep alive. I'm about 99% sure it was Jenny, though I can't prove it. The orchid thing is too specific to be a coincidence, and honestly, leaving a gift without a note or any attempt at contact is exactly the kind of passive-aggressive

gesture she'd think was meaningful. I threw the plant away, because I recognize a bounder testing gesture when I see one. Jenny is probably hoping I'll reach out to thank her or ask questions about why she left it, which would open the door to a conversation about her current situation. Basically not my circus, not my monkeys. But here's the thing, Reddit, I'm not interested in being Jenny's emotional support system, her backup plan, or her solution to the mess she's created. I feel genuinely sorry that she's going through a difficult time,

and I hope she gets the help and support she needs. But that help isn't going to come from me. My girlfriend and I are actually engaged now, and we're planning a small wedding next year. I've built a good life that doesn't include drama, chaos, or people who think love means obsessing over unavailable people until you destroy your own relationships. Jenny's story isn't really about me anymore,

and honestly, it probably never was. It was always about her inability to be content, with what she had and her pattern of idealizing relationships that couldn't give her what she wanted while taking for granted the ones that could. I hope she figures out how to break that pattern, for her own sake and for her kid's sake. But that's her journey to take, not mine to guide her through. So there you have it, read it. Sometimes people ask me if I regret divorcing Jenny, especially now that she's clearly struggling. But every update just reinforces that I made the right choice. I chose to prioritize my own peace and happiness over trying to fix someone who wasn't ready to be fixed.

And honestly, life's been pretty great since then. Edit, to answer the most common question, no, I won't be reaching out to Jenny, and yes, I'm confident in that decision. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone is refused to enable their unhealthy patterns, even when they're going through a hard time. Edit 2, for those asking about the orchid, I stand by throwing it a way. Accepting gifts from an ex who's trying to reestablish contact while you're engaged to someone else is just asking for drama. Hard pass. I hope you enjoy this story. Father missed my commencement

ceremony to go on a trip with his recent partner so I severed ties with him. However, half a year later he appeared, pleading for my assistance as she is taking legal action. Him for $30,000. Hi, so I, 22F, cut my father out of my life, six months back, when he decided to skip my graduation ceremony, even after promising for months that he would be there, no matter what. I might have even forgiven him if he had skipped it due to some actual emergency, but he skipped it because he was out for a vacation with his new girlfriend and her son. So at my graduation ceremony, it was just me, my mom, and my brother, and he didn't even have the courtesy to inform me beforehand, so she and I kept waiting for him to respond to my phone

calls and messages before the ceremony, and when he finally did, he told me that he was not even in the country. Apparently, he and his girlfriend were celebrating one year of being together and so, they felt like they deserved a break from their work and everything, which is why they had taken off. He told me that my graduation ceremony had completely slipped his mind, but I did not believe it. I know for a fact that he remembered it, but chose not to attend on purpose. Of course, after something like that, I did not want him to be part of my life anymore and when, after he returned from his vacation, he tried to get in touch with me, I told him that I did not want to speak to him anymore. Since then, we have not been on talking terms and it's been

six months. Initially, he tried to visit me a couple of times, but I made it very clear to him that he was not welcome in my home anymore and after that, he stopped trying to make things right with me. But all of a sudden, last week, he showed up yet again in this time. It was to ask me for my help because apparently, he has been slammed with a lawsuit by his girlfriend and he needs me to testify in his favor. When he showed up last week, I refused to open the door to him because so far, he hasn't apologized to me even once, he just keeps trying to justify everything. But then, he told me that it was an emergency and then, out of curiosity, when I decided to give him a chance to speak, he explained the entire situation to me. I'll try to keep it short, basically,

Nina, his girlfriend, had been away for the weekend with a couple of her friends and she had left her son behind with my dad. He had promised her that he would take care of him, but unfortunately, there was a little bit of a mishap. And now, Nina is demanding that he pay her about $30,000 in reparations because her son is apparently traumatized, but my father doesn't think that he owes her that much, especially since he's not even the biological father. So he needs me to testify in case this goes to court, which he thinks it might since it'll be vital coming from his daughter. But I refused, due to a couple of reasons. The first one being that I do think that the situation is kind of his fault, even though I don't fully agree that he owes her that much money.

However, I know that Nina's son has autism, and even though it's not very obvious, it's still a thing. Besides, he's just eight years old and given the circumstances, I don't think it was wise for my father to have taken his attention off of him. My father had a meeting with a prospective investor in the evening while Nina was away, so even though he had promised her that he would keep an eye on her son, he decided to prioritize his meeting and the kid to go outside and play in the backyard. My dad's house has a huge tree in the backyard and for whatever reason, Nina's son tried to climb up, even though he had very little experience of climbing trees before, and since it was the evening,

it was also pretty dark. Unfortunately, he was able to get pretty far, but then, he slipped and fell from quite a height. Luckily, he did not break anything, but he had a concussion and my father discovered him only after the meeting. He was scared of how Nina might react, so he did not inform her that, day and even told her son not to tell his mother anything about their ER visit. But that incident just slipped out, and after Nina came back, she ended up finding out about it anyway. Naturally, she was very upset, and they ended up getting into a huge fight, after which she

moved out and a few days later, she and her lawyer served him with the lawsuit. Personally, I don't think Nina did anything wrong and I'm completely on her side on this one. So morally and ethically, I really don't think that I can stand by my father, and I told him that my advice to him would be to just suck it up and give her the money because he owes it to her. Another reason why I did not want to commit to him that I would testify in his favor if this does go to court, is because I still haven't forgotten that we haven't been in touch for the past six months and it's been because of his behavior. He can't just randomly show up at my house one day and expect me to help him out. So I made it very clear to him that I was not going to be

testifying in his favor, and he got very upset with me because of that. He told me that being his daughter, I should be more understanding of him instead of being so selfish. The fact that he called me selfish really got on my nerves and I lost it with him after that, and I ended up saying a lot of things to him out of anger. I told him that, even though six months had passed since he ailed to show up at my graduation ceremony, he had still not apologized to me, even once, and all that he had tried to do was justify what he had done. It obviously showed me how little he cared about me and since we have always had a very difficult relationship, I told him that I am sort of glad that he chose not to apologize to me or speak to me in the past six months because it just

made everything easier for me and now, I don't have to pretend with him anymore. I told him that I'm happier without him in my life and I'm sure that Nina and her son will be better off without him too, so he should just pay her the money and end this because there is no way I'm going to be supporting him in any case. And then, before I could ask him to leave, he just turned around and left without another word. I did not think this was a big deal because honestly, I was really upset and I didn't even know what he had been expecting. Anyway, three days after that, my mother called me, and after some small talk, she asked me about the fight with my dad and I told her everything. She told me that my father had spoken to her as well, and even though they are not exactly the best

of friends, he had expressed how disappointed and let down he had felt when I had said that I was better off without him in my life. My mom told me that when he had called her up, he had been crying and that came as a bit of a shock to me because my dad is not the kind of guy who cries easily. But apparently, since this is too personal to be shared with any of his friends, he spoke to my mother and told her that he is really struggling financially right now because he quit his job a couple of months ago and is relying on his savings right now because he's planning on starting his own business. And now, with the lawsuit and everything, he has to think about double the expenses that he

had factored in and all his finances have been thrown off. Besides, if he ends up losing, there is a very real chance that because of the settlement that Nina is asking for, he might not be able to start his business at all any time soon and that'll be huge trouble for him. So he stands a chance to lose everything that has worked so hard and he's already pretty stressed out because of that, which is why what I said about him made him even more upset. My mother didn't say anything about what I should do, but ever since I found out about the fact that he had called her up and cried, I feel really guilty. I'm not sure if I should feel guilty, but I just do, so I am here for some clarity right now.

Ida for telling my father that I am better off without him in my life? Update 1, hey, so I have made up my mind. I don't think I'm going to apologize to my father because while I can understand that he is going through a tough situation right now, I don't think he has earned my apology. Besides, even he hasn't apologized to me for skipping my graduation so he could go on that trip with Nina and her son. Even in the beginning, when I had expressed how upset I was that he hadn't even bothered to let me know until the very last minute and had given me false hopes for months, he had only tried to defend himself.

As I had already mentioned in my original post, my father and I do not share a good relationship anyway, and this was pretty much the last straw for me. So I don't think that I'm doing the wrong thing by choosing to stay away from him. I even told my mom about it, and she told me that this is between me and my dad, so she has no opinions on it. She can understand why I am choosing not to apologize and she wants me to know that it's going to cost my relationship with my dad, but if I'm ready to deal with that, then it's fine. She has maintained a pretty neutral stance on this and I respect that. Contrary to popular belief, no, guys, she hasn't been pressuring me to apologize to him, and I was the only one who had been feeling guilty.

She did not say anything to make me feel guilty. I'm sorry if it came off that way in my original post. And yeah, my parents are still in touch, because even though I'm grown up now, I still have my 14-year-old brother and they are co-parenting him. So they have to stay in contact and that is why my father had decided to call my mother up and talk to her about me and whatever I had said to him. Even apart from that, their divorce had been a mutual one, and there is no bad blood between them.

So it's quite understandable that he had decided to speak to my mother about it. I can assure you guys that he was not trying to turn my mother against me, and even if he had, it was not going to work. Anyway, I thought about the situation for a really long time, and I spoke to a couple of people about it too, and eventually, I just decided that I had nothing to feel bad about because ultimately, he had screwed up. Not just with me, but also with Nina and her son.

So whatever he was going through right now, it was his own fault. And now, coming to what exactly he had been saying to me to defend himself instead of apologizing for skipping my graduation. This was not directly relevant to the situation, so I hadn't gone into the details, but since a lot of you want to know exactly what happened, here it is. About three months before my graduation, I started asking my dad if he would be free to attend or not because he's usually really busy with work. as I had said, he had recently quit his job, so he was working on building his business model,

speaking to investors, and all that jazz. This is why he was hardly ever available. So I had to keep reminding him and asking him about whether he would be present at the ceremony or not, and he constantly told me that he definitely would be there. So naturally, I had expected him to be there after he had promised it to me. But then, when I started trying to call him on the morning of my graduation ceremony, and he chose to respond to me after almost an hour, just to tell me that he was not even in the country and was on vacation with Nina and her son, it broke my heart. That day, I did not want to ruin the

vibe of the event so I didn't even argue with him, I just hung up and blocked him. Even later, when I did unblock him, I expected him to apologize to me, but he just kept justifying everything, telling me that it had all slipped his mind, even though I knew it was not possible. Even two weeks before the event, I had asked him if he would be there and he had said yes. So how was it possible that it had just slipped his mind? And even if, for a moment, I decided to entertain the possibility that maybe he had actually forgotten, it still didn't make sense that he had the time to go out with Nina and her son, but he didn't have enough time to spare for us.

Because in the past couple of months, even my brother has hardly ever visited him, even though according to the custody arrangement, he is supposed to spend alternate weeks with our dad but my father had been canceling that too. At least with my brother, he had spent some time when my brother was younger because both of them were really into sports. Unfortunately, I don't have any common interests with my dad, which is why I have always been very distant from him, but I have always tried my very best to include him in my life. He was the one who never showed any interest, and now, he has even started distancing himself from my brother. It hurts all of us, and even my mother has tried to fix the situation, but there's only so much one can do. Even after missing my graduation,

he kept making excuses for himself and trying to defend what he had done by saying that he was too busy with work and that's why he had forgotten. And then later on, he started telling me that he and Nina had been working really hard, so he deserved a break and I couldn't hold that against him, which is just much worse as an excuse. The bottom line is, he has failed both his children and that's why I don't feel very inclined to apologize to him or feel sorry for him. All of this has been a choice, he's definitely not a victim in any sense of the word. Update 2.

So, because I'm not talking to my dad and he's also been blocked for a really long time, he decided to continue speaking to my mother about this. My mother is usually a very non-confrontational person, which is why she maintained a neutral stance on this all along. She had made it clear that she did not want to get involved. She only passed on the message to me because she was just casually sharing her conversation with my dad with me. She did not intend on pressuring me to apologize to him or whatever but now, my father is

trying to get her to do that and she's not on board with it. It has been more than a week since he visited me and I haven't been speaking to him. So even though he was behaving normally in the initial few days, a couple of days ago, he started pestering my mother. This morning, she called me and she sounded really annoyed, so she told me that my dad had apparently been calling and texting her nonstop for the past couple of days. And he was trying to get her to convince me to testify in his favor, in case this went to court because right now, they are trying to sort it out in mediation, but both of them are getting

stuck and things are not looking too good. But my mother has been telling him that she does not want to get involved, that this is between me and my dad and she doesn't want any part of it. He just doesn't get it, though, and apparently, last evening, they got into a really ugly fight. And even my mother ended up telling my dad off about how he had been behaving, and that she wasn't surprised that I had decided to cut him out of my life and was not going to help him out because he had never put in the hard work to build a relationship with me in the first place. So now, he couldn't just expect me to bend over backward for him, that was unfair

and unreasonable of him. On top of that, his expectation that my mother would step, in and convince me to testify in his favor when I had made it so clear that I did not want to do it. Was unreasonable too because at least she was just trying to be neutral and keep things peaceful between the two of them. But given the circumstances, she had every reason to be upset with him too because he had been extremely absent from his children's lives for a really long time now. My mother had been trying to be patient and understanding with my father because even though they were divorced now, she still had to raise my brother with him. And even before, he had to raise my brother with him. and even before that, they had been together for a really long time, so she was trying to keep

things amicable until now. But after their fight last evening, she really read him the riot act and told him that he had no right to be demanding anything from any of us because he had barely even been there for anybody in the past. He had some sort of a relationship with my brother at least, but with me? Forget about it. He had never even tried and my mother told him that she had been trying to keep her opinions to herself because she did not want to make the situation worse for either of us, in case we wanted

to work on it at some point. But now, she could see that even if I were open to working things out with my father, it would never work because my dad was too selfish and deluded to even see that. That's why he hadn't even been there for me at my graduation ceremony, in spite of promising me for months that he would be there. His priorities had always been different. At first it had been his family and now, even though he is with somebody different, it's still difficult for him to prioritize his loved ones. That's why Nina had to dump him and that's why he was getting sued right now because even now, he couldn't even be bothered to live up to his promises and look after a literal child for a couple of hours. He got defensive once again and told my mother that he was

just trying to build a life for himself and be successful, it was not a crime. My mother ended up telling him that while it was not a crime, he was doing all of this at the cost of of his family and loved ones, so he needed to stop pretending to be the victim. If anything, he was the victim of his own actions, and he couldn't just expect everyone to be sympathetic towards him when he didn't have any empathy for anybody else. Then, she just disconnected the phone call and blocked him. She didn't want to bother me last night, so she did not call me but this morning, she felt like she had to talk to somebody about it, and my brother is too young to discuss these things, so she spoke to me. Just like me, she had also been feeling guilty for yelling at my

dad, even though he was going through so much already. And I reassured her that she hadn't done anything wrong. He has been bringing this on to himself all along. So we really don't need to feel bad for him right now. Update 3. So, it has been two weeks since my last update. Last week, my mother decided to speak to my father about my brother's custody arrangement. After a really long discussion with me and my brother, we came to the conclusion that at this point, it would be better for my brother to stay with my mother full-time. As it is, my father did not seem very interested in having a relationship with him because for the last couple of months, like I had mentioned earlier, he had been canceling on my brother

quite frequently. They hardly even got to see each other anymore and even when my brother would stay at my dad's place. He said that my dad would always be busy with work and he would much rather stay with my mother throughout because visiting his father, at this point, was just an unnecessary inconvenience for him now. It was harsh but true and after hearing him out, my mother decided that she was going to speak to a lawyer and revise the arrangement. There's no need to do it formally because I'm pretty sure that my dad wouldn't have minded anyway, since he hasn't even asked about my brother in the past couple of weeks and neither has he seen him, but my mom wanted to go through with it legally because my brother is still 14 and there's still four years to go before he is an adult.

She doesn't want to leave anything up to chance, so just to be on the safe side, she's going through the trouble of speaking to a lawyer about this. And I totally get it, she's just looking out for my brother and herself. She is even being lenient enough to let my father have visitation rights, even though in my opinion, right now he totally doesn't even deserve it because of of how emotionally distant he has been from everyone. My brother wasn't happy that this was going to happen, but even he agreed that it had to be done because of how complicated things had become. Anyway, her terms seemed fair enough, so she has already spoken to a lawyer, but just so that she doesn't end up blindsiding my father, she decided to tell him about her decision as well.

For that, she needed to unblock him and speak to him on the phone and that did not go well. after she spoke to him on the phone and informed him about her decision, he started yelling at her and accusing her of trying to turn all his children against him. He said that the reason I was no longer on speaking terms with him was because of her apparently, which was just absurd because it is definitely because of my father himself. My mother has nothing to do with it, but my dad said that if my mom had at least tried to talk some sense into me, maybe I wouldn't have acted like this. I thought it was really stupid of him to say that, but anyway, my mother did not want to drag out the fight so she just hung up as soon as he started yelling at her

and she thought that it would be the end of the fight, but of course not. The day after that phone call, he showed up at my mom's house and started demanding an explanation as to what she was doing. She refused to let him in, and he had a full-blown meltdown on the front porch after trying to kick the door out of anger for almost three whole minutes. My mother found that really scary, so she ended up calling the cops and now, she's even considering getting a restraining order against him because he is clearly unstable. It's sad, but it has to be done. On top of that, he hadn't even left me out of this and sent me a message from a burner phone,

saying that I was an ungrateful and useless daughter, and he was disgusted that he had to be related to somebody like me. In that message, he said that he was really glad that he had never bothered to build a relationship with me because it would clearly not have been worth it since I don't understand what it means to be grateful to people or whatever they have done for us. I don't understand what he was going on about because whatever he had done for me as a father, was the bare minimum. If he is talking about raising me, he was hardly even there for the job.

And he can't say that he was too busy working, which is why he never had time for me. My mother was a working woman too, and yet, she always seemed to find time for her children. The truth was, he's just never been ready to have a family and even now, he's not ready. I don't have to be grateful to him for anything. Whatever he did for me as a parent was what he was bound to do,

and as soon as I turned 18, he practically forgot that I was his daughter. So he was only there for me out of obligation, not because he loved me as his daughter. And since that's the case, he has no right to complain that I don't value him as my father because he was hardly ever there for me anyway. Update 4, hi, so it has been a couple of of weeks since my last update and my dad decided not to fight her for my brother's custody. About two weeks after my last update, my dad reached out to my mother through his lawyer and

said that he was ready to agree to the terms of the custody arrangement. She was a bit taken aback, but then, she received a message from my father via email, saying that he just didn't want to have any drama in his life anymore. So he was ready to agree to whatever she thought fit and even in the future, if she didn't want their son to be seeing him anymore, she was free to arrange that as well. It was very depressing to read that email because honestly, it painted him like the biggest victim on this planet, and that was really not the situation right now. He was just having to face the consequences of his own actions, but anyway, my mother decided not to reply to it and indulge him. She ignored it,

but she has that message saved, so in the future, if he tries to do anything funny, she will have that. In the same email, he had also mentioned that he had agreed to Nina's terms as well and was paying her the settlement that she had wanted so that wouldn't end up going to court. The last part of that message, I think he sent that to both me and my mother. And I'm guessing he sent that to Nina as well, just from the tone of it, but I'm not sure because she and I are not close so I can't find out. Anyway, the last paragraph from that email is something that he also sent to me, and it basically said that he didn't want us reaching out to him ever again because now, he only wanted to focus on his business and he didn't want our drama ruining and disrupting his life again. He said he's done with us females and the drama that we bring for no reason, so he wants

us to stay away for the sake of his own peace. And the way he put that makes me think that he probably sent that to Nina as well, but anyway, he is some gut sending that to us after he created so much drama for no reason. It's crazy how delusional he is that even after so much has happened. He literally cannot see that he is the problem here and not us. My mom and I actually ended up having a good laugh at his audacity to say that he doesn't want us to contact him again as if we were the ones disrupting his life in the first place. Anyway, it doesn't matter because the only person this kind of behavior is going to harm is himself. I'm happy with my life, and so is my mother and even

my brother doesn't seem to care anymore. He can stay alone, for all I care. We don't care enough to be a part of his life anymore and I was right all along. We truly are better off without him. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse stood up for his furious intoxicated former partner who sabotaged our marriage ceremony, and then insisted that I make amends to her. Eventually, discovered that he had been unfaithful with her for an extended period. I, a 23-year-old female, and my current partner husband, Josh, 26M, had our wedding last week. At first everything was beautiful, I got married to my high school sweetheart and was so happy. It felt like my fairy tale come true, I felt like a princess. While I'm taking photos with my bridesmaids, I see Josh's cousin,

Nicole, with a girl, I'll call her Sarah, I'm unfamiliar with. She seems non-talkative but is friendly to me at first. We finish our photos and go inside to relax and chat before I walk down the aisle. A long while later, after the vows were exchanged, I bump into Sarah while on my way to the food table. She's clearly intoxicated, but through her slurred speaking I could hear her ranting about how crowded the venue was but then it escalates. I was getting food from my mom when she said to me that she surprised Josh married someone like me because Josh could do better than me. I tried to laugh it off and I told her I was very lucky to have him. The interaction left me feeling upset, but I brushed it off as her just being drunk and I started drinking too and soon forgot

about it. Time goes past and I'm feeling good, me and my husband along with all the guests were dancing. Suddenly, I hear a crashing sound near the food table and all of us rush over to see what was happening. I see Sarah on the ground sobbing hysterically, and Nicole was trying to calm her down. She had completely smashed my wedding cake and ripped the decorations. My heart was broken to see my wedding cake completely destroyed, but I tried to ask what was wrong, and Sarah started screaming and cursing me. I was confused and drunk, so I started shouting back and ordered my husband to kick her out. He didn't want to and told me she should be allowed to stay since she was a friend. I argued with her.

with him and told him that she's ruined my wedding. It eventually took my husband and Nicole to get her under control and convince her to go home. Nicole left with Sarah and when my husband came back he looked angry with me. He completely blew me off for the rest of the night and I could tell the atmosphere was now awkward for all my guests. The next day my husband lectured me about how I hurt Sarah's feelings and demanded I apologize to her. We argued and he slept on the couch. Things eventually cooled down, so I tried to talk to him about it the following days, but he shut me down and just told me I was being overdramatic about the situation. I've never even seen Sarah until my wedding, I have no clue why she would lash out like that.

I'm hurt that my husband doesn't see my perspective. Even though she was drunk, she ruined my special day and now I can't think of the happy memories I have because I can only think of that incident. Sorry for the long read, thanks for listening. Update 1, firstly, I'm going to try and make this as short as possible. I know this update isn't going to be very shocking, but I at least want to explain myself a bit better. I started thinking and taking everyone's replies into consideration and called Nicole. I demanded she tell me the truth and she eventually did.

You all were right. Sarah and Josh were a thing. Yes, he cheated on me. For some backstory, me and Josh have no. each other since elementary school. We grew up together and started dating freshman year of high school. He was my first everything. I've never loved someone the way I love him. I didn't want to believe Nicole when she confirmed my suspicions. When she told me he cheated on me my heart sank and I haven't stopped feeling nauseous. I'm completely devastated. Now, how could I be so

foolish? How couldn't I see what was laid out right in front of me? Is this even real? Well, Sarah went to a different high school than me and Joshua Nicole introduced Sarah and Josh. Nicole knew he was taken but she's never liked me because I'm mixed. He dated Sarah while he was dating me all through high school. When we graduated, he ended things with Sarah. He wasn't currently cheating on me, but Sarah was still angry that Josh ghosted her, so she took it out on me. Nicole brought her to the wedding, knowing Sarah wanted some type of revenge. I didn't want to believe that the love of my life, my whole world, the person I cherished the most could do this to me. He cheated on me for four whole years and I was completely

oblivious. I don't want to lose him, but I can't look at him the same. He's always been so sweet, so caring of me, so loving. He has no clue that I know, and I'm not sure how to bring it up to him. I wish this wasn't real. I wish I could wake up from this terrible nightmare. When I confront him, I'll update if anything important happens. And for anyone that's been kind to me, thank you so much. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Update 2. I want to start off by clarifying a few things. People keep asking how was he loving and caring if he did this to you?

He brings me flowers every week. He brings me lunch to my work. He cooks for me, he takes me on a fancy date once a month, he takes care of my mother, he offers to pay for everything. He always tells me how much he loves me and he used to make me feel so safe. I would have never married him if I knew he would put me through all this. I know this story is hard to believe, but it's not just a story, this is my life. Also turns out the cheating was actually going on for closer to six years. Yes, she was the only girl he cheated with. I am upset that Sarah destroyed my marriage. but I know it's ultimately Josh's fault. Anyways, Josh gets off of work at 10 p.m. so I stayed up late to talk to him.

I made Nicole promise me not to tell him I know, and shockingly she stayed true to her promise. He came through the door and I called him to sit with me while I was at the kitchen table. I told him I knew everything. At first, I was shouting and ranting to him but then it turned into me begging him to prove to me that it wasn't true. Of course, it was true, and after a while he confessed to everything. Hearing it from him made it all too real. He tried to argue that since it was in high school, it shouldn't affect me that much and that it was a stupid mistake. Yeah, a stupid mistake he let go on for over five years. I know we were young, but he knew better. He begged me to stay and told me

how sorry he was for everything he's put me through. I told him how much I love him, but but I can't stay with him. I asked him why he defended her over me and he said he didn't want to upset her because he knew how psycho she can be. I know he still loves her, or at least cares about her because why would he still defend her years later? I can't just cut him out of my life yet, the house we live in, and my car is all in his name. Not only have I lost my husband, but I've lost my whole life. After I made it clear to him I was leaving him, he got angry and we started arguing. He tried, I tried to say at least he wasn't still cheating, but I don't care, it still hurts the same. I called my mom and told her everything so she's letting me stay with her for now.

Since I live in Pennsylvania, I have 60 days to get my marriage annulled, which I plan to do. Josh keeps trying to call me but I'm not answering it. He showed me what love is but now he's ruined love for me. I can't see myself ever dating and trusting someone like this again. Not only was my wedding destroyed, but my whole life is now destroyed. I have no car, no house, he has full access to my bank account and I'm sure he'll fight to keep the dogs. If anyone wants an update on when I go to get my stuff, I'll give one. None of his family apart from Nicole know he cheated or anything about what's going on.

I loved his parents, and they loved me too. His dad took me in after I lost mine. As for Nicole and Sarah, they've tried to. tried to contact me, but I haven't replied. Please let me be clear when I say that when you're so blindly in love, you never consider the one person you love and trust the most in this world to be cheating on you. My lawyer said he has to give me everything I paid for, and I should get my bank information changed as soon as possible. My lawyer also said getting my marriage annulled would be the best option. If I can prove my car has been paid by me, then he has to give it to me. But right now,

there's nothing I can do about my car or house since it's all legally in his name. My lawyer is fighting for me though. I'm praying that Josh will give me the dog. Lastly, thank you again to anyone who's been kind to me throughout this. I hate reading comments because most are negative and it keeps me thinking about this whole situation. I appreciate any of you who've supported me and gave me advice more than you know. It's really helped me through this disaster and without you guys talking some sense into me, I think I would have just stayed with him.

Now I know that he isn't the man I thought I'm married, and I don't want him to be the father of my children anymore. I'm not sure if I'll update again, I might if something interesting happens. Goodbye for now. Update 3. Sorry for the inactivity. I haven't been feeling too well, but I'm a bit better now. I'm glad some of you wanted an update because I have one to tell.

At first Josh tried to keep my things, in an effort to persuade me to get back with him. He stopped that after a day or two, though. The great news is I got my car and my ex-husband gave me my dog without me having to take him to court. I could have gotten it anyway, but him just giving it over made things a lot easier on me, my bank information is changed, and he didn't try to take any of my money. I've still lost my home, but there's nothing I can do about that at the moment. My lawyer has worked so hard for me and I'm so grateful to him.

I had a calmer conversation with my ex when I was over to get my stuff, and I've gotten a bit of closure. We talked about all our memories and had kind of our final conversation. He apologized for everything, said he understood why I was leaving him, and told me if I wanted him to leave me alone, he would. My marriage was annulled,

but I'm kind of devastated that it's like it never happened now. The reason why Sarah and Nicole were calling me is because they tried to tell me I'm ruining his reputation and being a drama queen about something that happened years ago. I've blocked both of them now. Every time someone asks about why our marriage was annulled, I tell them the truth and that's upsetting him. He doesn't like that his family and co-workers know about how much of a prick he is. I wasn't going to tell his family because I don't think that's my place, but they know now anyway.

His parents caught wind of what happened and called me to apologize and check up on me. They were like my second parents. I'm forever grateful to them for taking me in as their own. I'm truly going to miss having them as my in-laws. I'm living with my mom as of now, but I'm looking for cheap apartments nearby. I've never lived by myself, so I'm pretty scared of it. To my knowledge, my ex and Sarah didn't get back in contact and from the looks of things don't plan to in the future. To those asking why my things were in his name, I obviously didn't think it'd end like this.

I trusted him with my life, and he made a lot more money than I did. It was better to let him handle the finances. Thankfully he hasn't screwed me over by following through with his threats to keep my car and stuff. I know I'm only 23, I know I have a lot of life left in me, but it's not feeling like that right now. I'm still in shock about everything and definitely in denial. I know I'll be okay eventually, but this has screwed my whole perspective of love up. My life has taken a full turn from what should have been the happiest moment of my life. I'm bitter, I think about what if I would have done something different.

maybe then he wouldn't have done all this, and I keep making excuses for him. In some type of way, I'm glad I know who he truly is now. It sickens me to know that I almost had kids with him, and he would have let me go through my whole life keeping his cheating past a secret from me. I don't know how men like this can sleep peacefully at night after completely ruining people's lives. It's shocking how many of you have went through something similar. I'm so sorry to those who've been through a heartache like this.

It's made me laugh about how you guys are trying to create revenge plans for me, I really appreciate it, but I'm going to let everything rest. Mostly because it would hurt me more if I did take revenge. People have let me know his nice gestures were the bare minimum, but I've never seen anyone do things like that. My mother and father were divorced, so I've never seen love displayed like that. I thought it was something that only happened in Hallmark films. Thank you all for your kind messages and comments.

I read all of them and it's helped me throughout all this. I hope you guys have an amazing day. Thanks for everything. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Wife made a handmade gift for her abusive brother's fiancé, then got uninvited from the wedding, so I took the gift back. My wife, Lena, crochets a lot and often gifts it to friends and family. When her second oldest brother got married, she made the bride a shawl to wear over her dress in the evening.

The bride loved it and ever since Lena has made shawls for everyone in her family getting married. Now Lena's oldest brother, George, is getting married again. Lena doesn't have a relationship with George as he was abusive to her as a child, but if she has to see him then she is polite but distant with him. She doesn't want to cut off the rest of her family because of George. I work with George and while we aren't friends, we are friendly at work Lena encouraged this. When George got moved to my team I was going to request a transfer not wanting to expose Lena to George as my team do a lot of get-togethers with our significant others. As it is a family wedding, Lena's mom asked her if she could crochet a shawl for George's fiancé and Lena agreed.

It was arranged that once it was finished I would take it to work to give to George so that Lena didn't have to see him. Earlier this week, the shawl was completed and I emailed George at work to let him know that I would bring it in today as the wedding is tomorrow. When I got into work this morning, I gave George the shawl and let him know that Lena and I were looking forward to the wedding. Come lunchtime, Lena called me to let me know that George's fiancé had called her and told her that she was no longer invited to the wedding sighting the place there having the wedding and the reception it is too small for the number they have coming so are having to make cutbacks. However, I was still invited to the wedding. I was mad at this because they clearly only invited Lena to get a shawl, which to me is just rude. If they had asked Lena outright to make one, she probably would have done because she loves to crochet.

On my way out of work, I noticed George wasn't at his desk but the shawl was. I was still mad that they had used Lena to get a shawl and I just shoved it in my work bag. I left a note on his desk telling George since Lena was no longer invited, the shawl and I would no longer be attending either. On my way home, I told Lena what I had done and asked her if she wanted to go out instead, so not to waste having a sitter. Lena was upset that I had taken the shawl as it was causing an uproar in her family

group chat where people were calling her petty because I took it back. Lena wants me to give it back. I don't think I should, they don't deserve Lena's kindness. However, at the same time, I don't want Lena to be upset with me over George. Am I the asshole for taking back the shawl? Edit, I have messaged the group chat, letting them know that I took it and if they should be pissed at anyone then it should be me but I would all also do it again because no one gets to be a dick to Lena.

Update, Ida for taking back a shawl my wife made for a bride to be after she was uninvited from the wedding? September 16th, 2023. I have absolutely no idea how to post an update in Ida so I figured it was best to post it here in case anyone is interested in it. So, everyone will be glad to know that I have not given George back the shawl. I mean part of the reason I haven't given it back is because he's on his honeymoon, one hope has rained for the two weeks, but even if he wasn't I still wouldn't give it back.

Later that evening, Lena apologized for being mad at me, she said that she should have never agreed to make the shawl in the first place and was grateful I had taken it back. Lena and I had a long discussion about her family and how they treat her. I told her that I would always stand up for her when it comes to her family because I will stand strong when she can't. I asked her what she thought about going lower contact. we were already low contact with George, his now wife, and her mom. Lena said that she wanted to go no contact with George, his wife, her mom, and to go low contact with everyone else but her second oldest brother and his wife will call them Michael and

Sarah. She said she wanted to do this because of how toxic the group chat had become which she has now left and has shown me that she has left and deleted the chat. We have both blocked everyone but Michael and Sarah. I'm going to wait a couple of weeks before I broach therapy for Lena again. I just want the dust to settle a bit as I don't want her to feel pushed into anything. The story the wife gave Lena about their not being enough space was bullshit. Michael confirmed that George had told him weeks ago that they were well under numbers for their venue. It was just a shit attempt at a power move. I know some redditors were concerned about my work life after I took the shawl. I spoke with my manager and told him that Lena had made a shawl

for George's wife, but they had given a shit reason for uninviting her to the wedding the day before the wedding and I took it back. When I told my manager this, he sighed heavily before telling me that he wished I hadn't taken the shawl because George could make things difficult for me but that he would have done exactly the same thing because George is a nightmare. I told him that I'd like to move to another team because it wasn't good for Lena to have to be around him. He told me to leave it with him and he would see what he could do.

I'd have moved when George was first put on my team but, Lena encouraged me not to as she didn't want me to rock the boat with her family. I heard back on Monday that I will be getting moved to another team at the end of the week. This other team is desperate for someone, so when my manager reached out to other managers to see if anyone had an internal vacancy, this manager bit his arm off. The day of the wedding, Michael called Lena and asked what our plans had been for the day. Michael knew that Lena wasn't invited to the wedding and rightly assumed I wouldn't go if she wasn't welcome. Lina told him that we had planned to go out for dinner and drinks.

Michael told her that sounded like a plan and to text him where we were going for dinner. Michael and Sarah had decided to skip the wedding after seeing the meltdown of George, his wife and their mom in the group chat. Apparently they continued spouting abuse at Lena even though she had left the group chat. When the family turned on me and our children was when Michael and Sarah decided they weren't going to the wedding at all, they were just going to go to the ceremony after Lena had been uninvited. They messaged George to tell him their flight had been delayed and they wouldn't be able to make it, their flight wasn't delayed.

It was just the excuse they used and George never responded. Michael had seen George's abuse of Lena firsthand. He had tried to protect Lena where he could but there was only so much he could do as a child himself and didn't want to be on the receiving end of George's temper either. As an adult, he took the first chance he had to move away from his family while only maintaining contact with Lena. So we went out with Michael and Sarah, having a much better night than we would have done at the wedding. There was no snide comments, no belittling, nothing. Lena was happy as she got to see Sarah and that was what she was looking forward to.

Lena being happy was all I wanted. It's all I ever want, my family to be happy. Both Michael and Sarah's phones did keep going off all night as Mill and George kept messaging them angry at their non-attendance. Especially after Michael posted a picture of the four of us together having drinks on Facebook with a caption about how he was choosing Lena over George going forward because she doesn't use people to get what they want like George did over a crochet shawl. Michael admitted to me later that he did this to anger George because he'd have a meltdown at the reception and then his in-laws could see what an ass he actually is.

Given the gleeful messages I got from Michael last week after he had heard back from a cousin who attended, George had a complete meltdown. Lena knows about this post, but she is not comfortable with me posting pictures of her work. She considered unraveling the shawl, but she found it difficult to undo all her hard work which I understand. It's the very reason I didn't unravel at myself and tell George it was an IKEA shawl, well that and I didn't want to face a mad Lena. After talking with Sarah about what to do with it, she has decided that she's going to keep it, but she will die it. Michael suggested that she wears it to the family Christmas.

We aren't going to see Lena's family at Christmas so it won't be happening anyway. Michael and I are at the same level of pettiness as I had previously suggested, as some people comment on my original post, that I could wear it to work when George is back. I didn't show Lena many of the comments, she doesn't need to see people calling her a doormat or saying she needs to grow a spine. Those people clearly haven't had their spirit completely broken by the people who are meant to love them unconditionally or were completely cut out of family events. When George graduated from uni, Lena was left at home, she was eight years old and left home alone all day. Christmas was spent mostly in her bedroom, because her grandmother didn't want Lena around as her presence would just upset George. Until she was 14 then she would sneak out and spend it with me and my family. Lena was just left out of everything.

Her dad used to work away from home a lot, so he had no idea what was going on. he just assumed Lena liked her own space. Not that she would just stay in her room because she was used to being neglected by her family. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner allowed my persistent former partner into our residence to arrange for my birthday celebration, only for me to find out that he was deceiving my former partner on fabricated profiles, instructing him to continue pursuing me. Because he thought watching him fail was funny.

Me, 27F, and my boyfriend, 27M, have been dating for two months. We have so much in common, he's super sweet and always goes the extra mile for me with grand romantic gestures, even asking me out by buying me my favorite comic book and leaving a sticky note between the pages confessing his feelings. I've never gotten anything but amazing vibes from him this whole time until now. However, B.F. has a childhood friend, 27F, I'll call Sid. My boyfriend was very upfront when we started dating that he and Sid had romantic feelings for each other in the past but decided it would be best they only stayed friends since they didn't

want to risk their friendship. I never actually met Sid before and I've only heard about her from BF and vice versa. About two weeks ago, my BF texted me, super distraught, telling me that Sid called him, saying that she was too jealous of my and BF's relationship and that she couldn't stand being BF's friend while he was in a happy relationship with me. She basically gave B.F. an ultimatum of him having to break up with me or she would cut him out of her life. I was baffled by this, thinking that this 27-year-old woman, who had mutually agreed with B.F. that they would never date, was so childish to give him a ridiculous ultimatum and I voiced that to him.

He got mad at me, saying it's not that simple and seemed to be seriously considering breaking up with me just to stay friends with Sid. I was in disbelief that he couldn't see how manipulative and abusive this was, and that the obvious conclusion would be to cut her off since she was clearly toxic and controlling, but he was still on the fence and we ended up taking a break and not talking while he thought it over. The next week and a half, he barely talked to me, telling me he's in a very hard place while I became increasingly frustrated that this would even be a hard choice. Like, we're in a happy relationship, and he's debating breaking up because his crazy friend can't handle her jealousy. I was fuming. He then finally came to me after that time of not talking saying he decided to choose me and leave his friendship

with Sid behind. But by that time I was so mad that it was even a choice that took two whole weeks to decide to begin with that I ended up breaking up with him anyway. Now his friends are telling me I'm an asshole for not breaking up with him sooner because now Sid is still cutting him out for picking me over her and I'm still leaving him, whereas if I had broken up with him during the weeks he was thinking it over, he would have at least been able to stay friends with Sid. But honestly, I didn't even realize how mad I was until he picked me and made it seem like he was some kind of martyr for doing so. Ida.

Edit, apparently, Sid has completely cut ex-p-off and blocked him on everything. He is begging me to take him back, even contacting my friends to attempt to convince me, luckily, all my friends are telling him to F off. He wrote me some 2,000-word essay on how I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that he was blinded by his happy childhood memories of Sid. I also found out they slept together in the past before we started dating, so that's cool. But it was just a one-night stand to see what could have been. Either way, he was definitely hiding more about his relationship with Sid than I was told.

I don't really care anymore. I'm not taking him back. He's a grown-ass man who should have known better than to ghost me for two weeks to think it over as if things would be the same after he decided to pick me. Doubt anything else interesting will happen, but I might update if you. it does. I'm honestly just hoping this will be a reality check for him, and he'll get the message. At least his friends have stopped bothering me. Update 1. I, 28f, broke up with my ex, 28M, 10 months ago, but he will not get over it. Despite me wishing to no longer interact with my ex, as well me as dating

someone new, Cole, 29M, my ex has been trying to win me back by doing over the top things like sending me gift baskets, love letters, chocolates, etc., even though I've blocked his number, on all social media and always ignore his attempts to woo me with his gifts. He never actually interacts with me directly. Never waits for me outside or tries to talk to me, he just leaves me gifts at our doorstep and runs away. It's creepy and makes me super uncomfortable. Cole, who I live with, doesn't actually see an issue with this and says he feels bad for my ex

and doesn't want me to waste my ex's money slash effort, so I reluctantly just let Cole eat the chocolates and other crap since he insists I don't throw them out. He even likes reading the love letters even though I tell him I don't want to. I don't understand why he's so chill about this because my ex and Cole aren't even friends and have never interacted, so it makes no sense why he's so okay with my ex doing these dumb gestures that he knows make me uncomfortable and creeped out.

If anything, Cole should be pissed off that someone is trying to steal his girlfriend, right? Anyway, all of this finally came to a head on my birthday. After work, I came home to our apartment decorated in balloons, chocolates, and flowers. I'm immediately touched, thinking all of this was a surprise from Cole. Nope. Apparently, my ex actually came over with all this crap, buzzed our apartment doorbell, Cole let him in, and allowed my ex to decorate our apartment and leave gifts for me.

Then my ex left before I could get home. Cole apparently saw no issue with this. He literally let my ex into our apartment like it was no big deal because my ex came all the way with all these gifts which was such a thoughtful gesture. Now I feel totally unsafe. What if my ex secretly left a hidden camera or something? I have no idea why Cole is so fine with all of this. I've talked to him over and over and he won't understand why I would want to reject free stuff from someone who cares about me. I love Cole but the fact that he actually let my ex into our apartment. was a huge breach of my trust and I have no clue how to deal with this. Is this relationship just unsalvageable or is there a way I can get it through Cole's head that none of this is okay? Could Cole have ulterior motives by letting my ex do all of these things? Any advice is welcome. I just have no clue how to handle this absurd situation. Thanks. Edit, thank you for all the insight, everyone. I really appreciate it. I don't have the money to do everything that was recommended, but I'm going to do some investigating into Cole and my ex possibly being

in cahoots with each other and confront Cole this weekend. Likely to end this cluster fuck of a relationship. If there's any interest, I'll update if anything significant happens. Thank you again. Update 2. Hello all. My last post blew up a bit and many people were concerned about me, so I'm going to give you this update. I can't even put into words how insane this situation has gotten. When I got back home on Friday, I tried to come up with a good plan to keep myself safe while I confronted Cole in case he were to do something scary. A lot of people put the fear of God into me in the comments of my last post. I invited my very tall and intimidating younger brother over to be there while I talked to Cole. My brother couldn't come over until Sunday,

so I spent a day and a half awkwardly trying to pretend everything was fine, but I must have done a shit job because Cole kept asking me what was wrong and loved bombing me. Eventually Sunday came around, my brother showed up and I slash we grilled Cole about why the hell he's been so fine with my ex coming around with gifts and even letting him in to decorate our apartment for my birthday. I was not ready. All of you had a lot of theories, one of which came up a lot was that the two knew each other and or were working together to do this.

If anything I would have rather that been the case because the truth is so much more fucked up. Basically, Cole has been fixated on my ex. He has essentially been stalking my stalker. Cole admitted that he made fake social media accounts, yes. Multiple, to follow my ex, and has been stalking his Instagram and Facebook. Apparently, my ex has been making a lot of vent posts about me and how hurt he is that I'm not returning his feelings and have moved on so fast and Cole has been egging him on his alt accounts to get my ex to keep trying. The reason my ex is still stalking me is because Cole has been literally telling him to on his fucking alt accounts. It's obvious

my ex is unstable if he's listening to random strangers telling to keep trying and Cole is taking advantage of his instability by planning thoughts into his head. If I am to believe Cole's words, my ex has no idea that it's Cole that's been encouraging him to keep pursuing me but I can't be certain about anything this guy says at this point. So why, you ask? Was Cole doing all of this? That is exactly what my brother and I asked. This was his answer, to give my ex false hope. Basically to bully?

Him. Anytime my ex-onks posted on his social media about me, Cole got some sick satisfaction out of watching his misery. He wanted to string my ex along to keep trying to win my heart just to watch him fail over and over. Cole finds it hilarious that my ex is wasting so much money on gifts for me and that it's him who eats the chocolates and reads the desperate love letters my ex sends to me while I act like my ex's gifts are radioactive and avoid them.

This has all been some sick game to see how long he can get my ex to keep pining for me. Who the hell even does this? I've been living in fear for months because Cole thinks it's funny to manipulate my ex and watch him be heartbroken. I cannot articulate how sick all of this is. How is this funny? What is wrong with him? He said he makes sure not to go to.

too far by discouraging my ex to make direct contact with me but I can't believe anything anymore. I've read so many stories of people who were dating someone who seemed so sweet initially but turned out to be actually unhinged, but I naively never thought that could be me. I was so careless and dumb because I clung to someone who finally treated me with kindness, but he is a twisted man who turned my ex into a monster by feeding his delusions. I think if he hadn't done all this, my ex probably wouldn't still be stalking me in the first place. My constant fear and discomfort have just been an unfortunate byproduct of his little game of puppetry. I can't even comprehend how someone could do something like this. I'm so shaken up I feel

like I'm spiraling. Suffice to say I'm living with my brother and his GF while my ex gets the hell out. I told him he needs to move out within the week or I'm getting the cops involved. He didn't make a fuss or anything, surprisingly. He just looked at the floor like a kicked puppy. He hasn't even tried to call or text me, but I blocked him just in case. I'm going to see if my landlord can understand my situation and let me break lease early with no extra cost, but if I can't, my brother is going to cover the extra cost in the meantime, and I'll stay with him in his GF until I can find somewhere else. My brother is seriously a godsend. I'm definitely going to go back to therapy as soon as possible because this whole situation has me unable to sleep at night, trust anyone and I really need a better

understanding of what are red flags and relationships. So many of you told me I was a pushover and you're all right. It shouldn't have taken this long for me to call this relationship with Cole off. This is so fucked up, but I'm safe for now. I don't know what I'd do without my brother and his GF. Thanks to everyone who told me to get out of this relationship because Cole was way more twisted than I ever could have thought. I don't even know if he told the whole truth, but I don't even care anymore. I'm out. gone never looking back

edit thank you everyone for your advice and words of encouragement I called the non-emergency police line to file a report of all this it wasn't super helpful other than just making a record so I'll do a follow-up with them once I have safe access to my apartment and can collect evidence I unblocked Cole for now to gather any text evidence as some of you suggested but he's been pretty quiet he sent a photo of a couple of garbage bags full of his stuff and he asked if he could have a day to say goodbye to my cat. I have her with me currently at my brother's place, no way am I letting her near him. I haven't replied yet. I turned red receipts off.

Haven't contacted X-1 yet, still figuring out the best way to do that. Tomorrow is a stat holiday where I live so my brother and his GF will be home from work. We are working together to figure all this out. Definitely moving out of my current place as soon as I can. Sorry, I can't reply to all the comments. I'm still pretty overwhelmed and anxious and there are so many that it's frying my brain but I'm trying to read most of them. I appreciate every one of you, though. Comments where op has replied, comment one, holy shit. I'm glad you updated us but WTF? That's absolutely insane and I'm glad you're safe, up. Yeah, me too. I took the week off from work because I need to just figure all this shit out. I'm so full of anxiety but my brother is trying to distract me

by talking about competitive Pokemon, bless his heart. Comment 2, your brother, or someone, needs to tell your stalker. I have no sympathy for a stalker, but if this went down as described, he's basically been a victim of cyberbullying and there is no way of knowing what might happen next. He needs a dose of reality. For your safety. Poop, I was so caught up in escaping that I never considered this.

You're right. Thank you for reminding me, my head is such a mess. right now. I'll need to brainstorm the best way to let my ex know. I hate to know how he'll react to that, though. Comment 3. Maybe ask your brother to do it with an online message. It definitely should not come from you and this needs to head off any communication from your ex and his fake accounts, poop. Oh, I am definitely not going to contact my stalker ex myself. I'll probably get my brother to do it since he at least met my ex a few times while I was dating. My dumb self didn't think to record Cole's confession so we don't have hard proof of his cyber harassment toward my ex.

Just gotta hope he believes us and stops interacting with Cole's alt accounts, though I don't know the name of Cole's outs, just that he has them, which is also complicated, Boop clarifies. He was sending me gifts before I started dating Cole but it definitely ramped up after I started dating Cole next story, boyfriend started watching female Twitch streamers before bed every night, then during intimacy he propped up his tablet and said he wanted to watch her while he did me, so when I left crying he texted that I was overreacting. So I knew he was into video games when we started dating. I'm basically the opposite of him in that department.

I've never been interested in anything video game related. That entire nerd culture is not for me. Mind you, I have made an effort to understand his hobby and over the years I've even found games I enjoy playing, but I would definitely not consider gaming to be a hobby of mine. I'll play rhythm games like. Once a week for an hour at most, for example, in the beginning of the relationship, first couple years or so, it was pretty difficult getting through to him because he was constantly on

Wow. We had to set boundaries later on because I found he wasn't making any time for me and he was constantly on Twitch either watching or streaming himself or playing Wow or LOL or whatever else. It got pretty bad, but we worked through it. His obsession with Twitch kind of dwindled down and we were both, seemingly happy, however. And I feel dirty even writing this. I feel worthless and absolutely disgusting and unwanted. Please don't judge me too harshly. One night before bed, as I was getting ready to lay down,

he was watching a stream on his tablet of some famous Twitch female streamer. I happened to glance over, and she was pretty scantily clad, big nerd glasses, tits hanging out. I thought, whatever. It's just him watching. a game. This went on for a few nights in a row, each time it was a different girl. He'd watch for a bit, turn it off, and immediately want to have SEGS. I've secretly felt like shit over it. But I guess last night kind of broke the camel's back. He set up a stream, started coming on to me in bed, and left his tablet propped up on the night table. I was going along with his advances,

but attempted to close the tablet when he told me, no, leave it on, I want to watch her while I do you. I was pretty much in shock, didn't know how to respond, started crying and left for the night. He didn't even really attempt to stop me. I got a half-ass sorry as I was leaving. Thankfully my parents live like five minutes away, so I spent the night there. Since I left, he's attempted to call twice and has texted me twice. One text was to tell me I'm overreacting. Am I? How do I approach this? I thought we were over it. I thought we had a decent relationship, but he clearly prefers watching women play video games over just having SEGs with me.

Do I approach him or wait for him to approach me? Update, last night I decided to get together for coffee with him, mostly because my mother urged me to. I never told her the extent of what exactly happened, but she knows it's video game related because we've gone over this problem before in the past. Anyway, I initiated the conversation via text and he agreed to meet me. I guess I don't know what I was expecting. Closure, maybe?

Because I was pretty sure I wanted to end it and stop trying to work things out because I've been working things out for the past five years. It's just become tiring. Anyway, he got into defense mode right away, basically listing all the things I've done wrong in the relationship and why he's over me. These are the things I've done wrong. One, I declined going to Korea last year for vacation. He so badly wanted to go. I knew if I went, I'd be left alone every day because his buddy would have come too. Also, there was a big LOL tournament happening at the time so he would have been doing LOL related

things and mentally masturbating to the cosplayers all the time while I explored the city alone or hung out in a hotel. I said I wasn't interested in going. He got Huffy but eventually got over it, or so I thought. Two, I changed my appearance even though I knew he loved. liked women with long brown hair. I decided to cut my hair fairly short and bleach it blonde not too long ago. It was time for a change anyway, and I'm very happy with how it turned out. He was not. Three, I always refused to wear revealing clothing. He'd constantly badger me about how I don't

wear enough stuff that shows off my tits and legs. I'm fairly modest, I'm not into that kind of stuff. I'm more comfortable in a T-shirt and jeans. He'd want me to wear sundresses and plunging tank tops, I always said number four. My birthday gift this year was a pair of those giant wraparound headphones. Headgear. I don't know what they're called. All the Twitch streamers are wearing them. But he spent a fairly good amount of money on them. Which sounds sweet, I guess, but I had originally complained that my old headphones suck,

and I need new ones for the gym. He got me these bulky ones and got upset that I don't wear them much. He's asked me in the past to wear them. Put my hair in pigtails and wear revealing clothing around the house while wearing my glasses. I'm not even kidding. This guy is a major stereotype. Five, I didn't play LOL and I didn't enjoy sitting on the couch watching him play hours of LOL. I don't know how to play the game.

I tried numerous times. I suck. I didn't enjoy myself. Why would I keep at it? 6. And I was not. open-minded about anything. This is pertaining to the situation in the op. I'm not open-minded

enough about being his flashlight, so this hurt his feelings too. I'm not accepting of his kinks, which is a total fucking lie because I've agreed to do some pretty out-there stuff in the past to appease him. I'm very open-minded about Sags. I would have appreciated a forewarning about the Twitch girl joining us in bed, though. Seven, I don't get along with his friends. I don't tried to, so hard. I tried to relate to those guys like you wouldn't believe. But they all literally have zero social skills. They're awkward and blatantly ignored my existence whenever I was around. They'd start talking about things they're interested in and just disregard anything I ever said. They'd invite him to board game nights, asking if I'd be going too like they don't want me there.

I was pretty much an outcast. So no, I tried. They just didn't want to. want to be around me. So, in conclusion, I told him I was done. He didn't really react dramatically. I think he's done with the relationship too. He can watch all the Twitch he wants now and play LOL for 23 hours of the day. That must be quite a relief. I'm going to the apartment to pick up whatever I can later. I'm staying with my parents until I find a new place. I feel oddly calm and okay with everything that's gone down in these last couple days. This is almost a relief. Thanks everyone. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my roommate caught in the act with personal gadgets in my sleeping area after a long history of inappropriate conduct with my spouse. Now she is dealing

with legal consequences and a substantial time behind bars. I am a 27-year-old woman. and my husband Jake, fake name, is 27M. My Mills always had some strange behavior towards my husband, but I'm only just fully realizing how weird, putrid, and inappropriate she actually is because of what I recently just walked into. I guess looking back now, I sort of see signs that I didn't see before and I really regret not trying to protect my husband more or try to say something before. But it's all unfortunately in hindsight.

I always just thought that's sort of how his family. did things, and I never really thought it was my place to say anything. But first, some backstory. My husband and I have been together for 10 years. We started dating in our senior year. Back in high school my husband used to play football and was working his way up to getting a scholarship. He always told me that he didn't actually wanted the scholarship. He said that he always felt pressured from his parents. His dad was the top dog back in the day and got the scholarship and even played pro for a bit before starting up his own real estate company. His mom, Barb just sort became this trophy wife. She was the pretty blonde cheerleader GF that everyone wanted to be

and everyone wanted to date. Anyways, I saw glimpses of the way his parents pressured him when we were younger. They forced him into really tough, demanding, and regulative schedule. His mom would actually touch his abs and tell him that he looked good or she wished his dad still looked like that. It was awkward but it was sort of regular and Jake never said anything. He just sort of laughed it off. And after we started getting serious, Jake wanted to play football less and was looking at starting up trade school to go up north. His parents hated that. And I remember him telling me that his parents hated the influence I had on him, and blamed me for the fact that he was skipping practice. Because he was skipping practice and not following this strict

dictatorship regime anymore. He may or may not have lost a few pounds, and so sometimes his parents would even tell him that he thinned out and looked like a stick. So it made him feel shitty about himself. Other times, his mom would point out his washboard abs or his hot six-pack yeah. She used the word hot with her only son. Now that I think of it, she actually said some weird things after my husband and I started doing the deed as horny little love bugs as if she was creeping on us or something. She once said, I know what you're doing behind the furnace. Which is funny because we went behind there to do the deed so we aren't in the living area in the basement. So she must have either heard, which is highly unlikely, or she was peeking through some hole somewhere.

Anyways, that was always weird. And to top it all off, she always kissed him on the lips. I mean, to this day. Well, not anymore because we aren't talking to her. but for real, a grown-ass man kissing his mother on the lips. Oh, and she'd walk around with her bra and underwear on around the house. Even when I was there. It's like she was trying to show off her body or something.

I mean, she looked good for her age. She didn't work for a living, she went to yoga and Pilates every day, so yeah, and I'm pretty sure she had a boob job. But anyways, it was weird. but particularly after we told them we were expecting our first, then she really got weird and started asking really inappropriate questions and I caught her snooping around our place at once point. We hosted a family dinner at one point to tell everyone about the pregnancy and she had gone upstairs to use one of our guest washrooms. Well, I had quite a bit of water to drink and

being pregnant. I had to relieve myself, so I had gone upstairs to go use our bathroom and our master suite and I found my mill snooping through my side table. and if you know anything, you know not to snoop through anyone's side table because you never know what sort of treats or trinkets and secret delights you might find. I'm like, uh, Barb. I knew what she had seen in there and she kind of just acted like in denial and she said she was looking for Tylenol. So then I told her that it's downstairs above the stove and that Jake can get it for her. And she didn't even apologize or look unfazed. She just sort of giggled and went downstairs. And I'm like, K-E-U.

So I tell Jake later that night and he's like, that's really weird. Why would she do that? And I'm like, I-E-A. What did she expect to find? I'm like, she's been here so many times, I'm sure she knows where the Tylenol is. He kind of just wrote it off as something his weird mother did and didn't really say anything after that. Then shortly after that, she started bringing gifts over. On one time in particular, she brought me over a gift bag with little face masks and nail

polishes and slippers. But then when Jake went to open his, he saw that it was a certain adult toy specifically for men that they put a certain body part in for solo time. And she's looking at him with a big, huge smile on his face. And she says, this is for when, op, is too pregnant to take care of you. And I was like, ah. And Jake was like, Mom. W-T-F. And she's like, it's the in-thing for guys out there now. And Jake stuffed it back in the bag and was like, thanks, but no, thanks. That's extremely inappropriate. And she was like, whoa, I'm not trying to step on toes. I've been there before. I know what it's like to try to get things working when you're eight to nine months pregnant. I just want to make sure you're taken care of. Then he's like, okay, that's

enough. So yeah, that was weird. Then on another occasion, she started asking intimate questions about how we conceived. And then I'm like, I don't think that's a conversation I want to have with our baby's future grandma. And she goes, oh no, no, I'm not grandma. And I'm like, okay dokey. I mean, I get it. Some women don't like being called grandma. I've heard Nana, CC, glamma, or diva, but I didn't ask what she wanted to be called in that moment. I couldn't have cared less in that moment. Then she started calling him babes slash baby slash daddy and daddy.

Daddy was interesting because she said it with this weird tone, but she was never overly excited to be a grandma. She was excited to have a baby in the house again, as if it was her house. She never called herself a grandma or a grandparent. Someone once cracked a joke and was like, ooh, I bet grandma's really excited. And she's like a mama. And then they were like, I think mama is usually reserved for the actual mother there, Barb.

And people just sort of laughed it off. Another time, I want to say that I didn't catch her drinking my mother's milk tea. If you don't know, this tea helps pregnant women in their breastfeeding journey and helps them produce breast milk. Boo, but I'm pretty sure I caught her taking a box from my stash of tea. I know I had bought three boxes to prepare. She went into the cupboard earlier to grab something. And then when I went in there later, the boxes just sort of caught my attention.

A few days later, we were at their place, and I went to throw out some used tissues in the garbage and saw a ripped mother's milk tea bag packet in the garbage. I really want to say that I hope she's not drinking it. Why would she be drinking that? Is she trying to produce milk? God, I hope not. That's next level. So then skip to giving birth.

She insisted on being there, and granted, Jake actually called her for help because baby was coming earlier than planned and my mom was still out of town. So while we're in the room and I'm having contractions, instead of just sitting there quietly or helping me, she was standing next to Jake. She's basically wrapped around him. She's holding his hand and the whole thing is just making me nauseous. When he's finally sleeping and trying to get some rest, I see her rubbing his leg and in his sleep, he's pushing her away.

Every time she did, he immediately moved away from her and you could tell it was bothering him, but he didn't say anything. Then I finally say, hey, can you go get some ice chips? So she leaves to go and I'm like, hey, Jake, can you tell your mom to leave? She's making me uncomfortable. And so when she came back, he told her to come back when things were ramping up. At first, she tried to fight him about it, but she eventually left. We didn't end up telling her when things were ramping up and she didn't come back until

Baby was here. So, huh. But then when she finally gets to see Baby, she goes, oh, they look just like me. Hey, Jake, whatever. I don't see it. Now fast forward to two days ago, my mom has gone back home. She stayed with us for a few months while we were getting used to a new normal with baby. Mill suggests she come over to be at the house while baby sleeps and we go out for a little date night.

Jake says this a great idea. So we get going. We have a lovely night. Like honestly, so in love and everything feels right. We come back home and we are like, hey, we're home, but no one answers. us. And we're like, K. Weird. Then we're like, Barb. Hello? Still nothing. In my mind. I'm like, wow, this bitch has literally kidnapped our baby and God knows what she's done with it or where she is. So then we go upstairs and Jake checks our baby's room and I immediately go to our master and I see Mill pleasuring herself on our bed. I literally scream and shut the door. She screams. Jake comes over and he's like, what, and he goes to open the door.

And I'm like, no, no. And he's like, what? And I'm like, your mom, your mom is in there and she's touching. And he goes, what? And then Barb calls out from the room and she's like, I didn't expect you guys to be home so soon. And Jake's like, Mom, get the out here now. And then she comes out after a couple of minutes and Jake's like,

what the hell were you doing in there? And she goes, I was just passing the time, trying out some of your stuff. And I'm like, my stuff. And she goes, oh yeah, I'll wash it. And I'm like, excuse me. And Jake's like, Mom, no, Jesus. And she literally is looking at us like we're the psychos here. Then I'm like, Mill, you need to leave.

I don't trust you with our baby. I don't trust you with my husband. You've really crossed a line tonight. Then Jake is just like WTF mom, WTF. She plays dumb, ends up leaving 10 minutes later. So yeah. Ida. Edit. I do not want this kind of behavior around our child. It makes me uncomfortable that she is acting sexually towards my husband. And if he won't defend himself, I will step in to protect him. Not only that, but if she's this way with my Jakey, then who's to say what she's going to be like with our baby? And now I feel just horrific for leaving our baby with her.

Who knows what she did or could have done? Update 1. Okay. So a bunch of you have told me the obvious. I'm not the A-hole, but I feel like the A-hole for not saying something sooner, for not stepping up for Jake when he needed someone too. He hasn't actually opened up to me about how he's been treated by his mom his whole life, but we're working on going to therapy together and individually.

Not only that, but we went NC with Jake's mom and his Phil came over to talk to us. We told him literally everything. Everything. And Jake and him even went into a separate room and had their own conversation. His Phil ended up apologizing to us both, but to specifically Jake. He feels awful for not seeing all of the warning signs earlier on and for not doing anything and protecting him from that abuse. His Phil went and rented an apartment for Mill to move into.

They're going to be selling that house that they live in and they're currently going through a separation. Phil filed for a divorce and he knows because Mill has never worked a day in her life. He has to give her basically everything. So he's not stoked about that because she doesn't deserve a cent, but yeah, so they're not living together. and basically it's starting to go around town just how weird she's been and some of the football moms out there have even said that they thought that she was weird and overstepped her role as a

trusted adult in the community i guess someone who jake used to play football with said that his mom made a move on him and touched him inappropriately so now that's being investigated i hate the fact that we share a name with this woman and i hate myself for not saying something sooner Update 2, well, Mill was charged by that man who Jake used to play with back in junior high. In fact, she's going away for 30 years. When she was going through trial, she asked that Phil and family be there to support her and that was a huge joke. Jake and his dad are slowly getting back on track and trying to repair what's there. Jake's dad is really trying and he's even started going to therapy himself.

Jake and I have been continuing with therapy and we're doing really good. Jake seems to feeling much better, he seems lighter. Not holding things in. He doesn't look like he's carrying onto anything. Our communication is doing great. It's going to be a journey, but we're ready for what's ahead. We're welcoming this new chapter with open arms. We're just all moving forward and loving our new little normal. Now on to the next story. Story 2. hired a private investigator after suspecting my wife was cheating. I caught her with her boss, got them fired, and exposed their office affair and left her penniless. My wife and I met eight years ago in a bar.

She was attractive and single, and so was I. We hit it off and after that, we pursued a relationship together. She gave me some of the best years of my life. I started a family with her and I really thought that we were going to grow together. Unfortunately, I found out that she was having an affair with her boss and because of that we divorced. It was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to experience and I just want to find a way to move on from it.

But here's the story anyway. We had just bought a house and we were undergoing a lot of stress with remodeling and moving. On top of that, both my wife and I were working a lot in our respective careers to try to make our way up the ladder. I work as a copywriter and she is a journalist. She was very close with her boss and all the other employees at the paper she worked for. I know that she saw her boss as sort of a mentor for her when she started. He helped her master writing in her field and he often gave her special stories to cover that fit her interests.

I knew the man well also. He was a widower and my wife had a lot of sympathy for him because she was worried about him being alone all the time. His children had moved out of the house and he lived by himself. At first, I thought that the relationship was harmless. Years had gone by and he was more of a father figure to her than anything else. Finding out that he was the person that she had been having an affair with was beyond shocking. I started to notice that things were off when she was spending more time in the office. Her job is easily one that she doesn't even have to go in for. She has a home office that she can work from whenever she wants to, but she chooses to go in because it helps her focus and

she enjoys socializing with her coworkers. When she told me that she would have to be staying late, I questioned why she wouldn't just come home and work in the office. Certainly, that was better than staying in an office building by herself. She could have had dinner with her family and then went right to work. Having it happened one time would have been something to forget about, but when she was staying late in the office two or three times a week I had some red flags waving. Normally, I wouldn't assume that she was cheating on me. But I had read a lot of Reddit posts and confessions from people who were being cheated on. I started to worry if maybe that was the case here.

I honestly didn't even know where to begin with trying to find out if she was cheating on me. I decided that the best thing to do would be just to observe some of her habits and behaviors and see if everything was all in my head. The more I watched her, the more I realized there might have been something going on. Another thing that I noticed was how she would tilt her phone away from me when she looked at it. It was odd, that wasn't something she had ever done before that I was aware of. If she wasn't trying to hide anything, I didn't understand why she would tilt it. I was starting to work myself up thinking that she was having an affair, so I decided to take the

plunge and hire someone who could dig around. I found a local private investigator who took on the case. After I told him everything I was suspicious about, he decided that the best of place to start would be at her work. He waited outside around the end of her workday to see if he could follow her and see where she was going. On the second day that he was working, I got a text message from my wife telling me that she would be staying late in the office. I immediately told the private investigator about that so they would keep a close eye on her building to see where she went if she left. However, she didn't leave the office. When she eventually

did, the private investigator followed her to our house. seemed like she really was staying late at the office. I told the private investigator that I was clearly in the wrong for what I was doing and I wanted to call them off. They ended up convincing me that there still could have been something going on in the office. I thought it was silly, but I told them that I would pay for another day just to rule that out, and then if they didn't find anything I would terminate our contract. Sadly, they found something. My wife was yet again staying late in the office and the private investigator found her in her boss's office performing oral sex on him. He got some pictures and videos of it for me. When he showed me,

I was shocked and disturbed and I felt like the world was falling out from under my feet. I had my suspicions, but I never wanted to confirm them. Part of me had been hoping that hiring the private investigator would just prove that my wife was faithful. Her boss was like a father figure to her, so I couldn't comprehend how they even started an affair. Regardless of my confusion, I was done with her. I had given her everything I possibly could and she was throwing it back in my face. I felt a lot of pity for myself, but after wallowing in that for a while I was angry. I wanted to show them that they couldn't both just treat me the way they did without there being consequences.

There was a rival newspaper in the area that I remembered my wife always talking about. Her paper and the other were always trying to one up each other. I had the perfect story for them. Before I sent an article to the rival magazine, I met with the hour manager of the newspaper my wife worked at. I told them about everything that happened and how they were having sex in the office, showing them the evidence. It was a clear violation of their policy and they assured me that they would both be dealt

with. Two days after I did that, my wife came home in tears complaining about how she was fired. She didn't tell me what happened, she lied and said that. she was laid off due to budget cuts. I was partially surprised that she continued with the lie, but at the same time, she had already lied so much. When I knew that she was fired, I sent an email to the newspaper. I got a response saying that they were going to cover the story, but they needed to put a spin on it to make it more marketable. Otherwise, it would have just looked like revenge porn. The story that they ran with was about a boss sleeping with his worker and getting

them both fired. They put them with it. They put it in a man with his work. They put it in a lot of the the picture I attached in, though they blurred the faces of my wife and her boss. Because my wife worked for the rival paper, we never had that one at home. However, that morning I made a special stop to go and grab the latest issue of the newspaper. I sat right at the kitchen table and opened it up in front of her while I drank my coffee. Right on the back of the paper was the article with a picture of her and her boss's office performing sexual acts on him. She nearly spit out her coffee when she saw it.

She yanked it out of my hand and read the article while I sat there with my arms crossed in front of me. She didn't say anything, probably because she didn't think I realized what was on the paper. As she was reading it, I commented on how funny it was that the article mentioned a boss and an employee getting fired the very same day that she was. That clued her into my knowledge about her affair. She tried to explain herself and told me that it was a one-time thing, but I didn't believe her. She was mad that I had the article published. It's hindsight, I do feel like I went a little too far with that. We lived in a small town and everybody saw that article.

It wouldn't have taken a lot of brain power to figure out who it was. We ended up getting a divorce, we had a pre-nup so thankfully I didn't owe her anything. We sold the house and split everything down the middle. It's just hard to believe that something like this would happen to me. I've been loyal and trustworthy throughout our entire marriage and I never expected that. I know it's going to take a lot to move on from, but I'm hoping I can heal soon. My partner brought me to an upscale eatery and knelt before me with a box containing a ring. After I accepted the proposal, he revealed the contents of the box, which turned out to be only a small trinket.

Notes saying you have been pranked. Me, 24F, and my boyfriend Andrew, 26M, have been together for five years. We met at this house party my roommate dragged me to during my sophomore year of college. I didn't even want to go, but she insisted that I needed to get out more and stop being such a hermit. Anyway, Andrew was there with some of his friends, and he was the one making everyone laugh with his stories and jokes. We started talking when I went to get another drink, and we just clicked right away. Andrew has always been the funny guy in our friend group, always making jokes and pulling pranks on people.

When we first started dating, his pranks were small and actually kind of cute. He'd send me on Little Scavenger Hunts around campus that would lead to a small gift or a picnic he'd set up. Or he'd pretend to forget my birthday only to surprise me with something special later. I never really minded it because most of the time, his jokes were harmless and sometimes genuinely funny. I'm not super serious myself, and I'd prank him back occasionally too. We moved and together after we'd been dating for about three years.

It was a small two-bedroom apartment in a decent neighborhood. The second bedroom was supposed to be an office but ended up becoming a storage room for all our extra stuff. We've been saving to buy a house for the past year or so, and we even found one we both liked recently. Things were generally good between us, we had the usual arguments couples have. Mostly about him leaving his clothes on the floor or me using too much hot water. during my showers, but nothing major. At least that's what I thought. As time went on, Andrew's prank started to become a bit more annoying. Like he'd hide my car keys when I was already running late for work, or he'd tell me my mom had called with an emergency when she hadn't called

at all. One time, he convinced me that our landlord was selling the building and we had to move out in two weeks. I spent days stressing and looking for a new place before he told me it was just a joke. I got pretty mad at him for that one, but he apologized and promised he wouldn't do something like that again. But he didn't really stop. He just found new ways to joke around. Sometimes he'd hide behind doors to scare me when I walked in, or he'd put salt in my coffee instead of sugar. One time he told me my car had been towed when it was just parked on the other side of the parking lot. I'd get annoyed sometimes, but I'd laugh it off because that's just who he is, you know? Plus, he'd always act all heard if I got too upset about his pranks, saying things like

I was just trying to make you laugh or you used to have a sense of humor. So eventually I just got used to it, I guess. But what happened a few days ago crossed every possible line, and I'm still trying to process it all. It started off as a totally normal day. I was asleep and Andrew woke me up at around 7 a.m., which was weird because he usually sleeps in on weekends. He was all excited and told me to get up because he was taking me to the spa.

I was pretty confused because it wasn't my birthday or our anniversary or anything special, but I wasn't going to turn down a spa day. So I got ready and we went to this really nice spa downtown, the one I've always wanted to go to but we could never afford. He paid for everything. I kept asking him what the occasion was and he just kept saying can I just treat my girlfriend sometimes? I was suspicious, but I figured maybe he got a bonus at work or something that he hadn't told me about yet. After the spa, he told me he had made reservations at this fancy restaurant on the waterfront, the one with the glass ceiling that I've always wanted to try. At this point I was like,

okay, something is definitely up. But he kept insisting it was just a nice day out. The restaurant was amazing, like way fancier than anywhere we'd been before. The waiter brought a shampoo. pain that Andrew had apparently preordered. It was all so perfect, and I started getting this fluttery feeling in my stomach because, well, it seemed like maybe this was leading to something big. Over dinner, we talked about normal stuff at first. Then Andrew started talking about the house we had been looking at. Nothing serious, just fantasizing about what furniture we'd get and how we'd decorate it. He mentioned something about turning one of the rooms into a nursery someday, which made me blush because we'd never really talked about having kids before.

Everything felt so perfect, and for the first time in a while, I felt like maybe we were actually taking steps toward building a future together. After we finished the main course, before dessert came, Andrew got this serious look on his face. He reached across the table and took my hand, looking straight into my eyes. Then he stood up, and my heart literally stopped. I think I knew what was about to happen, even though we'd never seriously talked about marriage before. He got down on one knee right there in the middle of the restaurant. People at other tables started noticing and getting quiet. Some even pulled out their phones to record.

He pulled out a small black velvet box from his jacket pocket and started giving this speech about how I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and how he couldn't imagine his life without me. He talked about our first date, about how he knew from the moment he met me that I was special, and how he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I was crying at this point. I couldn't believe this was happening. He asked, will you marry me, my princess? And I said yes without even thinking about it.

The whole restaurant erupted in applause. An older couple at the next table over were smiling and wiping away tears. The waiter brought over more champagne. on the house. And then everything came crashing down. He opened the box, and instead of a ring, there was a little folded piece of paper. He was grinning in this weird way that I didn't recognize, and I knew something was wrong. I unfolded the paper and written on it in his handwriting was you've been pranked. The look on his face as he started laughing will haunt me forever. He was hysterical, like this was the funniest thing he'd ever done. Baby, this was just a prank,

said, still laughing. I'm not ready at all to marry you yet. You should see your face right now. The restaurant went completely silent. I could feel everyone staring at us. The waiters didn't know what to do. The older couple who had been smiling a minute ago now looked horrified. And I just sat there, humiliated, with tears streaming down my face. But now they weren't happy tears anymore. He tried to lean in and hug me, like this was all just a big joke we were both in on. That's when I slapped him. Hard. I've never hit anyone in my life, but I couldn't control myself. My hand just moved on its own. I grabbed my purse, stood up, and told him, we're over, you fucking scumbag. Then I walked out. I had to call an Uber because he had driven us there.

The whole ride home I was sobbing so hard the driver asked if I needed to go to the hospital instead. I told him I was fine, just heartbroken. He was nice enough to wait until I got inside my building before driving away. When I got home, I packed a small bag with essentials. Then I called my friend Lisa and asked if I could stay with her for a few days. She didn't even hesitate, just told me to come over right away. I didn't leave a note for Andrew. I didn't think he deserved one. He's been calling and texting nonstop ever since. At first the messages were like, babe, it was just a joke, don't overreact, and come on,

you know I love you, I just wasn't ready to propose for real yet. But then they got more desperate. Please come home, I'm sorry, I didn't think you take it so seriously and I can't sleep without you here. Please just talk to me. I haven't responded to any of his messages. I just keep replaying that moment in my head over and over. I really thought we had a future together. We've been saving for a house.

We've talked about getting a dog. We were supposed to go on vacation next month to visit his family. Now I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to never see him again, but we have an apartment together, shared bank accounts, and we were planning to buy a house. Our lives are so intertwined after five years. Lisa says I should block his number and move on with my life, but it's not that simple.

I still have to figure out what to do about our apartment, our shared stuff, all of it. And a tiny part of me still loves him, despite everything. Ida for breaking up with him over what he calls just a prank. Update, a lot of you are asking for an update, so here it is. First, I want to clear up some confusion from the comments. No, I didn't know about the prank beforehand. Some of you seemed to think I might have been in on it, which is ridiculous. Why would I make up something like this?

And yes, the spa and dinner were real, he actually paid for everything. Some of you suggested he might have been planning a real proposal but chickened out at the last minute and tried to play it off as a joke. I thought about that too, but after what happened next, I'm pretty sure that wasn't the case. After I made that post, I stayed at Leases for a couple of days. She was great, letting me cry on her shoulder and binge-watch trashy reality shows to take my mind off things. I turned my phone off for most of that time because I couldn't deal with Andrew's constant messages. When I finally turned it back on, I had 47 missed calls and over 100 text messages, not just from Andrew but also from some of our mutual friends asking what happened.

Apparently, Andrew had been telling people that I overreacted to a harmless joke and walked out for no reason. That made me so angry that I decided I needed to talk to him face to face and set the record straight. So I went back to our apartment. I didn't tell him I was coming, I just showed up. He was there, still in his pajamas even though it was afternoon, looking like he hadn't slept or showered in days.

For a split second I felt sorry for him, but then I remembered what he did. and any sympathy I had just evaporated. I told him straight up that we were done. I said I couldn't be with someone who, after five years together, still wasn't ready for marriage and thought it was funny to make a joke about it in front of a restaurant full of people. That's when things got ugly. At first, he cried and begged me to reconsider. He said he loved me more than anything and couldn't imagine life without me. He promised he'd never prank me again. Then, when he realized I wasn't budging, he got angry. I'd never seen him like that before. He started yelling about how I was a fucking asshole for leaving him like this after everything he has done for me. He went on this long rant

about how he'd supported me when my dad died, how he'd always been there for me, how he'd spent all this money on the spa day and dinner, like that somehow made up for the humiliation. He was cussing me out so much that I honestly stopped listening at some point. The thing that stuck with me most was when he said, don't be so fucking petty and drop it. You know we're happy together and you know you still want me. That's when I lost it. I called him every name I could think of and told him exactly what I thought of his pranks and his childish behavior. We were both yelling so loud that our neighbor knocked on the wall. That kind of snapped us out of it, and we managed to calm down enough to discuss practical matters. We agreed that we'd not renew our apartment lease,

and in the meantime, he'd sleep in the guest room. I spent the rest of the day clearing out some space in the guest room so Andrew could move his stuff in there. Then I went online and started looking at apartments I might be able to afford on my own. Our lease isn't up for another four months, so ideally we'd find someone to take it over, but that might be difficult given the current rental market. Andrew is still not accepting the breakup. Throughout the day, he kept trying to talk to me, saying things like, can't we be together again? And this was just a small mistake I made. At dinner, we ordered takeout and ate separately, me in the bedroom and him in the living room. He came and knocked on the door to ask if we could talk about this like adults.

I told him we'd already talked, and there was nothing more to say. Oh, and get this, he apparently told his family about what happened, but I'm guessing he gave them a very different version of events. His mom called me that evening and went off on me for being selfish and not being able to handle a simple joke. She said Andrew had been planning the spa day for weeks as a special treat for me, which might be true, but doesn't excuse what came after. The call ended with her calling me a slut before hanging up, which I thought was rich coming from a woman who cheated on her husband, Andrew's dad, and thought nobody knew about it. After that, I started getting messages from his siblings, his dad, and even his aunt, all basically saying the same things, that I was overreacting,

that Andrew was devastated, that I should give him another chance. His younger sister, who I used to be close with, sent me this long, guilt-trippy message about how Andrew had been crying non-stop and couldn't eat or sleep. His older brother, who I never really liked, was more direct, calling me a heartless bitch who was throwing away a good man over nothing. I tried blocking their numbers, but they keep finding new way. to contact me. His mom even emailed my work address. How she got that, I have no idea, it's exhausting having to constantly defend my decision to people who weren't even there

and don't know the full story. I don't think much else will happen in the next few days. I'm focusing on selling stuff I don't need anymore, finding a new place to live, and sorting out the apartment situation. Andrew and I are trying to be civil when we have to interact, but it's tense. He keeps looking at me with these sad puppy eyes that used to work on me but now just make me angry. I'm also dealing with the practical stuff of disentangling our lives. We didn't share all our finances, thankfully, but we do have a joint savings account that we were using for the house down payment. I'm going to talk to the bank tomorrow about how to split that. And then there's all the stuff we bought together. It's going to be a nightmare figuring out who gets what.

Thanks again for all the support. It really means a lot knowing there are people out there who don't think I'm overreacting. I'll update again if anything significant happens. Update 2, so much has happened since I last posted, I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with the living arrangement, which didn't work out at all. The idea of Andrew sleeping in the guest room lasted about a few days before it became unbearable. We kept having these massive fights every evening. He'd start by trying to apologize, then get frustrated when I wouldn't accept it, and eventually start blaming me for ruining everything over a joke.

The first night was actually okay. We stayed out of each other's way, and I thought maybe we could make it work until we figured out the apartment situation. The second night, he knocked on my bedroom door around midnight, clearly drunk, and tried to get me to just talk to him. I refused to open the door, and he eventually went away. The third night was the worst. He came home from work in a mood, slamming doors and muttering under his breath. When I asked him what his problem was, he exploded, saying I was his problem,

that I was being unreasonable, that I was throwing away five years over one little mistake. We had a huge argument that ended with him throwing a glass against the wall, not at me, but still terrifying, and me locking myself in the bedroom and calling Lisa in tears. After that, I knew I couldn't stay there anymore. It wasn't safe, and it definitely wasn't healthy. Lisa offered to let me stay with her until I could find my own place, and I took her up on it. The next day, while Andrew was at work, I packed as much of my stuff as I could fit into my car, clothes, personal items, some kitchen stuff that was definitely mine, and left.

I left him a note explaining where I was going and that I'd be in touch about the apartment. When he got home and found me gone, he went ballistic. He called me non-stop for hours. When I finally answered, he was alternating between crying and yelling, accusing me of abandoning him and stealing things from our apartment. I tried to explain that I only took what was mine, but he wasn't listening. He threatened to report my car as stolen, even though it's in my name only, and to throw the rest of my stuff out on the street if I didn't come back immediately.

I ended up calling his brother, the only somewhat reasonable member of his family, and asking him to go check on Andrew because I was worried he might do something stupid. His brother agreed, thankfully, and later texted me to say that Andrew was okay, just upset, and that he'd stay with him for a while. The whole apartment situation is still a mess. The worst thing that's happened since my last update was running into Andrew's mom at the mall. I was just minding my own business, shopping for some clothes, since I left a lot of mind behind, when I heard someone shouting my name.

I turned around and there she was, storming toward me with this look of absolute fury on her face. She started screaming at me right there in the middle of the mall. People were staring, and I have never felt so humiliated in my life. She was yelling things like, How could you do this to my son? And you're a terrible human being, she said I had read. ruined Andrew's life and that I would regret throwing away a good man. I didn't even try to defend myself. I just turned and walked away, but I could still hear her yelling as I left. A security guard actually came up and asked if I needed help, which was both nice and mortifying.

The messages from Andrew, his friends, and his family haven't stopped. They're getting nastier too. I've received texts saying things like, no one would give a flying fuck if you died, you are a waste of space and you are such a self-centered slut, leaving your boyfriend over a small joke. I've even gotten a few threatening messages from numbers I don't recognize, saying things like they know where I work and they're watching me. I reported those to the police, but they didn't seem too concerned, saying there wasn't much they could do unless something actually happened. I try to ignore all the messages, but sometimes they really get to me, and I break down crying. Lisa has been great, holding me while I cry and reminding me that I did the right thing.

She even took my phone away for a whole weekend so I could have a break from all the toxicity. This whole situation has also shown me who my real friends are. Some people I thought were my friends have taken Andrew's side, saying I'm overreacting or that I should have given him another chance. I've been looking for my own apartment, but it's tough finding something I can afford on just my salary. I might have to get a roommate, which isn't ideal, but it's better than staying with Lisa indefinitely or, God forbid, going back to Andrew. The whole thing still feels so surreal to me. If you had told me a month ago that I'd be single, living with a friend, and dealing with this kind of harassment, I would never have believed you. Andrew and I had been together for so long

that I just assumed we'd always be together. I had built my whole future around that assumption, and now I have to start from scratch. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse engaged in a relationship with a young adult and had two sons, but his guardians expect me to care for his illegitimate offspring following their demise in a vehicular accident. Hello, everyone. My 45F husband, 49M, of 23 years had an affair with a 20 years old girl since 2020.

I found out this year when his affair partner gave birth to twin-be. boys in March. Obviously we were going to divorce. We've been hashing things out since. It's been a lengthy process due some properties in common and we needed to get an accountant since he used a shared account for his affair. Finally, things seemed to be getting close to the end when both my husband and the woman he cheated with were killed in a car crash. By some miracle, the twin babies were not harmed in the crash. Now they are orphaned and neither set of grandparents can take them in permanently. My husband's parents are both in assisted living, he has no siblings and the only aunt that could take them refuses. She's been child-free her

whole life. On the woman's side, I'm not sure the details in full, but her parents are also not able to be involved long-term and the one sister she has lives overseas. Since we were still married and he had not updated his will, all his assets are set to pass to me and our two children. I'm not callous enough to leave those babies with nothing, so I agreed to let whoever is their legal guardian to have the remaining balance in the shared account. About 25,000s in savings. The issue is no one wants to take them in. Now my in-laws are pressuring me to take them in and raise them. The issue is, I don't want to at all. I wouldn't love them and I don't want to be the evil stepmother. But I know a big part of me will always have a level of resentment towards them.

I will probably favor my own children. It's not their fault, but I truly loved my husband and I thought we were happy before I found out about the affair. We have two daughters, 14 and 16. Obviously we had disagreements, but never insulted each other's before. Then I found out about the affair and he began calling me names and blaming me for his cheating. He became abusing. He became and even tried to kick me of the house, my childhood home that is not shared property for the record. I'm also raising teenagers alone now. I don't have the energy to raise babies anymore. My daughters hate their baby brothers.

I tried to get them to spend time with their dad as we were divorcing, but they refused. Since this all was found out because of the babies, there wasn't really a way to sugarcoat the situation. And they are also too old to really get away with it. Most of my friends agree it's not my place to care for those children, but my in-laws, the affair woman's parents and my mother want me to raise them. I know my mom is just having grandkids' fever, but it hurts to not have her support. I have to make a decision by next week or the boys will be going into foster care. At the moment they are temporarily placed with their maternal grandparents.

I feel horrible, but I am very sure I can't take them in. Wipta if I refuse to take them in? Small update Hey everyone, this blew up far more than I thought, and I appreciate the well-wishes for my girls, the boys and myself. Also for the amount of lovely people offering to see about giving the twins a good home. I might not be their mother, but it does touch me and makes me glad there's good people out there. After thinking carefully and speaking to my lawyer, reading responses, doing research, etc.

I plan to speak to the grandparents tomorrow and refuse to take legal guardianship of the boys. I will let them know of the usernames of people that offered meeting for private adoptions or fostering, but my daughters are my priority. It'll be up to the twins' grandparents to decide if they'll proceed with adoption, keep them, or turn them to the state. I wish I had the mental capacity to be the person to do this, but I have two girls that are going through a lot and they need my full attention. I'll also be talking to the lawyers to figure out if the boys have any inheritance claim properly.

If they do, I'll separate it and leave it to the lawyers to do what they need to do for them to have access when it's best. If they don't, I'll find a way to ensure they have access to the 25k I was going to give them since the beginning. I won't do more, however. My moral compass might be biased, but I don't believe I'm obligated neither morally nor legally to do more than what the word of law says. I can't help everyone and I shouldn't have to. I have two girls that lost their father, two girls that need therapy, two girls just about to get to college. They've gone through enough without seeing their mother favor the children of their father's mistress. Update 1, Hey Everyone.

So as I said two nights ago, I went yesterday to speak to the twins' grandparents. I explained my position and refused to take guardianship of the boys. My mother-in-law almost slapped me when I said that, but thankfully this was all done in a public place and my father-in-law stopped her. The maternal grandparents kept pleading for me to raise them since they didn't want to lose them. I kept saying no, and when they called me selfish, I lost it. I told them to their face the only selfish people in this mess were them and their son and daughter. Their son, my husband, for cheating and then making the divorce hell on me and my girls. their daughter because she was a whore.

I used another word that went after a married man twice her age. I told them if I heard from them again, would request to cease and desist. I also informed my parents-in-law that they won't have access to my daughters for the foreseeable future. I'll explain why in a bit. We were at a restaurant, but I didn't stay for the meal. I also sent an email to my lawyer so he can ensure CPS and any agency involved in the welfare of the twins is aware I'm not going to be their guardian or be involved. Then I send an email to my in-laws with all the usernames and websites from people here and Reddit that have offered to do interviews

for the twins' adoption. I won't be involved beyond this point, so please as lovely as it is, I can't help you if you're interested in the boys. Yesterday was the end of my involvement. As for why my in-laws won't see my girls, I spoke to my daughters and decided to find out more about their thoughts before I went to meet the grandparents. My youngest refused to speak to me, which I found very out of place for her. My eldest then asked for just the two of us to speak. That's when she explained that my in-laws had been going on about how the girls need to get ready to go to public school instead of their private school and to get jobs right out of high school

since I will have to provide the twins with private schooling and college money. Apparently they also were told to start moving their stuff to share a room. My girls have separate rooms, since the twins need more space. This was not known to me. Mostly cause that would never happen. Apparently my in-laws have been basically bullying the girls because the babies take priority. Yeah, that's not happening. I told the girls that their grandparents have no say in where they go to school, their college funds, or how the rooms are set in our house. Also, that I do agree they could use a part-time job during college and maybe a scholarship, but their tuition will be paid. I told them not to blame

babies for the stupidity of the adults. They told me they understand, but they still don't want to interact with their brothers for now. That for now part gives me hope they'll get through things. For now we're going to do some changes in the house. The girls and I both don't like there's still an office space that my husband used. We're going to make it into a gaming room for all of us. I plan to take down some pictures that have my husband in them and put them in albums for the girls. We just want to make the house more ours. As for people wondering why my girls wanted nothing to do with their father, my daughters were the ones that discovered the affair and told me when my husband took them to meet the twins at the hospital. He had asked

them to keep it secret, but my girls told me. After that, my husband began treating them horribly too. He burnt all bridges with the girls. Very tiny update since there's some people who keep harassing me in P.m.' I spoke to a lawyer on Monday. The boys have no inheritance claim until a DNA test is done. After that, their only claim is against my in-laws. The shared account is not considered my husband's individual property, so it's mine. Same with the Lake House. Since he had a personal savings account and a life insurance, which went to his parents, that will be the only thing the boys could claim. Obviously this can be changed if it goes to trial, but the lawyer told me with how little my husband left my girls and I, there's very little chance a judge

will demand our assets. The lawyer also recommended me to completely end the idea of sharing any money with the boys. That could be used against me to claim I'm taking fiscal responsibility for them and should be considered to be their guardian. I'm dividing the money from the shared account for my daughter's college tuitions. I'm still unsure if I'm sell the lake house or not, but neither the girls nor I are attached to it. Now, please leave me alone about the boy's inheritance. Sad as it is, my husband messed everything up for his children. I'm not responsible for them, nor do I have to sacrifice my assets to set them up for a better life. Update 2, there's some good news and some annoying news. The good news is the boys were safely

retrieved by CPS from their maternal grandparents and will be placed in foster care until a permanent arrangement is made. I found out when it happened since their grandparents and my mother came to scream at me at work. In all honesty, I'm glad this happened at work and not at home. It's made me consider moving, since I don't want my daughters exposed to any of this. An annoyance I had very soon after was getting a call about my inquiries into fostering and adopting. Apparently my information was sent to CPS as someone interested in fostering the twins and eventually adopting. I immediately explained the situation between the grandparents and me,

and the operator was speechless at first. She apologized for the situation and told me she would make sure I wasn't bothered about the process. I also got served this morning. My in-laws are suing for grandparents' rights. They are also suing for custody. Apparently they are planning to leave their assisted living, which they really shouldn't, to buy a house that allows kids to get the twins back and now also want custody of my daughters.

My personal lawyer immediately gave me some instructions I won't share to safeguard myself and my daughters from some risks during a possible custody battle. My lawyer and I both suspect my in-laws want the girls to parentify them as caretakers for the twins since my in-laws have mobility limitations. It will be a cold day in hell before that happens. I don't see CPS placing the boys with them to begin with.

Not all is bad news. I'm starting therapy next week and my eldest daughter is once again speaking about the colleges she wants to go to. We still haven't really talked about their father or have them agreed to visit his grave. I myself haven't gone there and I'm trying really hard to get used to not calling him my husband anymore. I had nothing to do with the funeral plans aside paying bills and from what I heard his parents had the epitaph. Devout and beloved husband, father, and son written on it. I find it a joke. I know it's best. to hold to so much anger and resent, but as soon as I have time, I plan to change his tombstone

to remove husband and father. It might sound petty, but I refuse to speak well of a cheater and abuser just because he's dead. My daughters deserved better, and so did I and for anyone complaining about me changing the tombstone, I paid for everything at the end. So, stick your complaints you know where. I don't think I'll post another update until the whole mess with the grandparents' right lawsuit is resolved. So do the kind people that have sent support to me and my daughters. Thank you so much. Maybe I'll have good news in the future, but for now I'm going back to my old Reddit account. Additional info, can OOP take the twins in temporarily? Or until at least a family member can step in. OOP, I don't want to take them even temporarily.

I'm 45. I'm tired. I work full. time. I don't have time for babies. I don't even have a babysitter anymore. My girls are old enough to be home alone after school until I finish work. I can't do that with babies and I can't ask them to babysit them. They have after-school clubs and like to go out with friends. I don't want them raising babies, I can't take them. I can't even pick them up. They are innocent, but I can't do it. If it was reversed, my daughters would go to my cousin then. That has always been the backup plan that we had in place if my husband and I both died. I'm sorry the twins don't have that, but the more I read on this, the

more I've realized I can't take those babies. OOP on encouraging her daughters to have a sibling relationship with their half-brothers. O-op, I've tried, but they are teenagers who understand what cheating is. I won't force them to have a relationship with the babies if they don't want it. Therapy for OOP's daughters regarding the affair and aftermath. OOP, I have my girls with a therapist, and this was brought up. The girls despise the babies. It's not the baby's fault, I know. But the girls are angry and they are pointing fingers.

I don't want to put more stress on them. OOP on the inheritance left for the family members from her husband's will. Anything for the twin boys? OOP, the properties and the will were left on my name. The only shared property is a lake house that is currently on sale. If the will is contested, I will happily divide it. As it stands right now, I don't have to give anything. And no, it wasn't 50 to 50.

He cheated and the divorce left me with a majority of asset per our pre-up. That's the half of what he owned. The family home was mine before the marriage. The cars are getting sold and put for my daughter's college per his will. The 25K and half of that lake house was his assets. His personal bank account balance went to his parents, per his will. There's no assets for them based on the will. The only asset they would get is what I offered to give them, the 25K,

and they could contest part ownership of a lake house. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to go beyond that. I was the higher income in my marriage and in the divorce I was getting more. most of the assets. My daughters are about to head to college. I feel for them, but I won't have my daughter's quality of life suffer. Also bold of you to assume my daughters are expected to love them out the bat. They are going to therapy and it's up to them if they one day want to be in their half-brother's life or not. I won't pressure them. I hope they learn not to hate them and at least see them as innocent in all of this, but they won't be forced to see them as family. I'm following the

instructions strictly as the lawyers, my divorce lawyer and the lawyer in charge of the will give. I won't do anything beyond the word of law as I'm advised by counsel. Also irrelevant if I deserved a loyal husband. My daughters deserved a better father. The twins will get only what the law dictates. Update 3, October 17th, 2024. Hey everyone, some people have been asking me for updates, and to be sincere, I had nothing until today. To start things, cousins from my ex-husband's side of the family took the boys in. I know them, they are lovely and I know they'll give the twins a great life. The new parents, calling them

Matt and Kim, talk to my daughters and let them know if they ever want to reach out to their half-brothers, they just have to call. Otherwise, they can just see them as distant cousins. My girls thank them, but insisted they don't really want a sibling relationship at this time, but that may be as cousins it will be okay. I did offer them the money from the shared account since they are family and they said not to worry since they don't need it. Kim even insisted I used that money for a vacation for my girls and I apparently I look like the living dead. They also set very strict lines with my in-laws and the parents of my ex's affair partner. They can see the boys, but they won't be seen as grandparents. This apparently caused a big fight with the AP's parents. Matt and Kim then cut them off.

Again, threats of suing for grandparents' rights were thrown around, but it went nowhere. That's how I found out why the AP's parents couldn't take the boys permanently. The father is a convicted felon in an abuse case. I won't share the details out of respect, but if what Matt and Kim told me is true, I'm glad the boys won't grow up with that man as an example. The only reason his wife had temp guardianship was because of the sudden death of the parents and the process to find a relative to raise the boys. She would have had to live away from her husband to allow permanent custody, and she wasn't

willing to do so. My ex-in-laws did figure threats were not going to work, so they agreed to be great-uncles instead. Good for them, I guess. They now want me to let them live with me and the girls since they left assisted living recently and now the place they were in doesn't have opening. This place has a long wait list and the only reason they got in originally was because my ex and I offered to pay five years in full. They still had two full years paid left and I was going to pay for them. After everything they put my daughters and me through, I rather burn money in a grill than

spend it on them. I know they want my girls and I to be their caretakers. I won't even consider it. My daughters have their own paths to follow and in all honesty, I want to consider meeting someone new. I know it sounds like I'm moving on too quick, but I've been working to move on since I found out about the affair. I don't think my ex deserves me to go through a mourning period. I already mourned our relationship. At least that's what my eldest daughter said, funny enough. She's been encouraging me to go out and meet someone. We still have that custody lawsuit for my ex-in-laws going and a few other issues that I will update when I have more, but I wanted to at least let everyone know the boys are safe and together. Comments where OP has replied, commenter one,

you and your daughters sound actually really well adjusted. I'm glad the boys landed in a safe place and can still have some sort of friendly family relationship with their half-sisters. I think this is beyond my best expectations for this event and I am happy for everyone, especially for the soon-to-be-homeless slash not-in-as-nice-a-home ones. D-oop, they should be well enough monetarily to afford a new place, so they'll be fine. They might be horrid, but if they were to go homeless, I would put the money to at least get them a relatively comfortable facility. It's really up to them what they do now, though. Commenter too, so how come your ex-in-laws left their prepaid accommodation? Did you get the two

years of inused rent back? That's a lot of money. Boop, nope. They signed off on the money since they were in a hurry to do their whole custody plan. I'm talking with a lawyer to see if we can recoup the money, but very unlikely since the breach was done by my in-laws. And yeah, about one hundred, 180K. Oh, I absolutely agree. My ex-Phil is pretty much blind and has a bad knee. He can barely move. My ex-mill has back issues. Both of them are also diabetic and have other issues that in all honesty makes it impossible for them to live alone. Wherever they go, a caretaker is a must. It's why my ex and I looked for a good facility. If they had not received my ex's personal savings and life insurance, I would feel obligated. But they received a lot of money from him.

Enough to live comfortable if they don't squander it. Now, if they do squander it, it's on them. Again, the hypothetical scenario would be if they were without means from the get-go. I hope you enjoy this story. My partner ended his own life after I was unfaithful and ended the relationship. Following my therapist's advice, I have chosen to document and disclose the events that have unfolded in my life recently. The last year. To get this to make any coherent sense took lots of edits and couple of rewrites. I used to be a fairly talented writer, but I fell out of practice years ago. This forum was recommended to me by a friend as a method of confession, penance, and a warning to share with others. I did something truly horrible for which the

consequences were beyond even the worst thing I could have ever imagined. I am sharing this with the full knowledge many will despise me for what I did and the events that took place because of my betrayal. Reading my own words is revolting because I know in a very real sense what I did is unforgivable. I understand far too well how needlessly tragic the events that transpired truly were. My hope is simply that my story can be shared with anyone, in any relationship, and perhaps some future betrayal won't happen. More specifically, I hope someone who is currently cheating on their significant other or even thinking about it might read this and it makes them pause. Many might think my example of what can go wrong being unfaithful is an extreme rarity that

seldom occurs. I've been told by people far more knowledgeable than I am, that my situation is sadly far from unique, but I'm willing to take the hate I will receive by sharing this, if it keeps even one person from breaking the heart of someone they love. I am a 28-year-old female, and I was married to a wonderful man I will call William. Eight months ago, my husband confronted me with proof I had been both emotionally and physically unfaithful. A few days after he confronted me about my infidelity, my husband committed Una lived. I realized just typing those words out has caused people, people I don't even know, to hate me, I couldn't believe I had the capability to do something that evil to harm someone.

I'd loved since we were children, but I did it. If you'd asked either me or William if either of us would ever be unfaithful, we both would have laughed. But to my husband, own shock and surprise I allowed myself to lose focus and strayed, I knew it would destroy him if he ever found out. But I took the heart of the man I loved and crushed it so cruelly he couldn't endure the pain of this life anymore. Those of you thinking right now that I don't deserve to be breathing, I agree with you, I agree with you so much I've attempted on two occasions to make that a reality, I'm assured there is a reason I'm still here. For the moment I've convinced myself that the longer I live, the more I suffer, and I don't deserve the mercy of

Luna lived if we're being honest. William and I grew up together. I can remember my very early youth and at no time in my memory did I not know William. We were in the same Sunday school classes, public school classes, and our families had been friends long before he and I ever came along. He could always make me laugh. Kids can be mean, but William never was. I realized I thought he was cute in sixth grade. It wasn't an official crush until high school, William and I had been our one and only loves from early high school all the way through college. together, we were best friends and cherished each other so much. After graduation we took a year to get good stable jobs near our families and decided to get married, we took vacations together,

we made love at any moment we got the chance, we were ravenous for each other. The only time intimacy was at the table was during that time of the month, but we'd make love for hours, beautiful moments of passion. And I threw it all away for something tawdry, cheap, and worthless, we were planning to have children. We knew their names. We were both virgins. He was my first everything and I was his first everything. Part of me wishes I could say I had a drunken one-night stand. Try to keep that from my husband, but he found out, no. I got emotionally and physically involved with a man who was inferior to my husband in every way, shape, and form. I didn't even consider the possibility that a friendship with another man could lead to an attachment forming. My husband and I had a strong marriage,

as foolish as that sounds to say now, we really did. My husband was the epitome of strength. I was the one who was weak, though before this, I considered myself a strong woman. It's just that no one ever told me that while our relationship was so very strong, no relationship is bulletproof. There is not a day that goes by that I don't wish someone had walked up and shot me the minute before anything I did became secret of. It is an indisputable fact the world would be far, far better place with my husband here and alive instead of me, there is no rationalizing away truth like that. I had so many chances to stop it before anything happened, and I had absolutely no reason to allow anything to happen. After a brief and heated conversation, he walked out,

and I never spoke to him again, I tried to contact him in any and every way I could think of. My God, I tried to reach out so many times just to let him know that I am truly sorry, just to know I hate what I did. My text to him never showed anything but an unread status to me, so, I doubt he read any emails or heard any voicemails either, but everyone said I needed to give him space and time to think, two nights after William confronted me. At 3.17 a.m. there was a loud knock at the front door. I turned on the lights. I thought at first it might be someone in a drunken stupor wanting to curse me out or worse. Then there was another loud knock, and I threw on a hoodie before heading to the door. When I opened the door to see two policemen, I knew. They could have been there

for many things, but I knew in an instant why they were there. Their words telling me that my husband's body had been found due to an apparent Uniliv destroyed me, I dropped to my knees and wailed a shriek of agony. I tore at my skin and hair as the police tried to calm me down, by the time the EMTs got there. I was sitting on the steps rocking back and forth repeating that I was so, so sorry, yeah, there was no way I was making it to the funeral even if William's family had allowed any of my family to attend, I was kept sedated for days. The first thing I wanted to do when I got out was visit William's grave. But nobody knew where his parents had him buried, they had every right, but that cut deeply. And I tried to cut deeply that night when I tried to

take my life for the first time, I've now been hospitalized now twice for attempted Una lived, not asking for pity, in fact I don't want it. Nothing can take this heart take away. And nothing can even numb it. Part of me wishes I had somehow forced him to see me just for for a mere moment to tell him how sorry I am and that I knew our marriage was over, but I didn't get that, no, I didn't deserve it. And I have to face the fact that what I did was in fact so vile that making my husband see me might have forced him to take his life even sooner. Many people have said to me my actions were what led him to take his life. I don't think there is any doubt, until that horrible day he'd been so unbelievably happy, we both had been.

He left no uniliv-no to verify I was his cause of death, but we had been so happy, we loved spending nearly every moment together. To go from that kind of bliss to that kind of grief in such a short span of time ended him, I ended him, my words' actions and thoughts betrayed us both. Regret doesn't kill you, if it did. I would have died before my husband ever confronted me. When COVID hit, William and I quarantined together, I was fortunate enough to teach for an exclusive private school. The benefactors assured us our salary was paid as long as the need for isolation persisted, William worked from home and made a lot of progress on a project he was placed in charge of, the entire world was worried and afraid, but we had each other, and we so enjoyed making the most of it,

watching movies in bed, feeding each other food, playing like two little kids, I am utterly, truly. Completely sorry to those that lost a loved one due to that horrible disease. What the world went through was a literal plague upon humanity that caused so much needless death, but my husband and I got closer in those weeks than we ever had before, and our bond had been strong. We joked about how so many people were hating having to spend time with family or God forbid their wife or husband, we simply couldn't get enough of each other, after the first month we had to agree to limit into Macedo once a day for about a week. Our only argument the entire quarantine was about having to do laundry just to put clean sheets on the bed yet again, and I cheated on that man, which drove

him to exit this life due to my evil actions, a man I had such a close bond with, I was an idiot in so many ways, but for me to think because of that bond. No temptation was enough to get me to stray was idiocy, I hate myself in so many ways for so many reasons, but knowing I had it all is the most difficult pill to swallow, my affair was atypical of most in many ways, some aspects of the relationship and betrayal were slightly less vile, some were colder and even more evil. The man I had an affair with I will call Paul, I first encountered him in group Zoom meetings during the pandemic. I found him brash and smug with no valid reason to act that way. He was the school's lacrosse coach and I remember in those Zoom meetings being glad that

as an English teacher I would have to interact with him very little. The first time we met face to face we shook hands and had some small talk. There was zero attraction, at least from me toward him, but I didn't sense any lustful attention emulating from him toward me. During that introduction I learned he was engaged, and I told him I was happily married to a man I adored, no sexual tension. Nothing even hinting that would ever be a possibility, the school began allowing half the staff in all areas and half the students to attend school for a week while the other half used Zoom, the next week the other half would attend on site and vice versa that was supposed to assist with social distancing and the student's feelings of isolation. While eating lunch one day before

my next class began, I got an email from Paul. He had written out some toasts and jokes for his upcoming wedding and wanted me to edit what he'd written, I was used to being sent writing to edit, so that was nothing I felt important enough to tell William. Coupled with the fact it all pertained to Paul's wedding and I saw no reason to give my husband a boring detail about that day, the email contained a toast to his parents as well as to the parents of the bride. I took what he'd said and added a few phrases to pull at the heartstrings of all who attended, the jokes directed at his brother. The best man, were absolutely hilarious but a little vulgar for my liking at a wedding, I said as much when I sent back his edited speeches,

he laughed and said, I just don't know his family and that ball-busting was a family tradition. That email exchange began several months of corresponding back and forth, but as difficult as it may believe. Not until the very end did anything become inappropriate, not once did anything become flirtatious or sexual. Well, we did talk about sex, but from a purely scientific and psychological point of view, our sex talks at that point would have made the biggest nymphomé mania in history drier than the Sahara. There was nothing emotional or physically stimulating to those conversations, and I enjoyed our corresponding due to the fact I was certain there was no temptation on either end. We discussed race, politics, religion, science, sports, all the things people are hesitant to

discuss due to differing opinions. Some of the discussions even got heated. I was called approved more than once due to my opinions about sex, yes, I proved him wrong, but I wish to God he'd been right. For the longest time all of this took place during work hours, my husband and I had a landline for emergencies, but as soon as we entered the door at home, our smartphones were turned off. Paul didn't even have my number to text until I emailed him with a zinger at the end late in the day. He demanded my number to refute what I'd sent. Dozens of other coworkers had my email and I thought nothing of that.

I seriously don't think Paul had any interest in pursuing me either as at the time he was smitten with his fiancé. But about a month before their big day Paul found out his girlfriend had been carrying on an affair with her high school boyfriend for over a year, he was in shock and deeply hurt by the whole situation, I unwittingly became his person to vent to, I don't know where in our string of conversations that things crossed a line. But I began to feel truly sorry for Paul, I truly despised his fiancé for what she'd done, and I saw nothing wrong with that, but after a particularly rough night for him he came to school looking frazzled and I could tell he'd been crying, I gave him a hug and talked to him a bit. He asked if I could stay after school to talk.

Since I had a couple hours after work each day before William got home, I agreed. In hindsight, I realized now what drew me into my conversations with Paul was a different opinion. William and I had discussed most any topic two people could discuss. I knew before his reply what William would say when I asked him a question the vast majority of the time. I guess I wanted a surprise when I talked or verbal conflict. It was stupid, pathetic and weak. But that's That is what led to the affair, things with William were ideal, and we spent every available moment, together. I had mentioned a coworker named Paul in passing to William, but as there was truly nothing

going on, I didn't expound upon anything and he saw no reason to pry. When Paul started seeing a new woman, I felt no jealousy and honestly only happiness for him, but William had to go out of town to a construction site in Tulsa for three weeks. While he was away, we face-timed every day and I missed him morning, noon, and night. But with sudden spare time I found myself also texting with Paul just to pass the time, instead of an occasional hour or two after school, Paul and I often had time to grab a bite to eat and a drink or two before heading to our separate homes, oddly enough. The thing that led us to become physical was me being a clutz and the school nurse not working

that week. I sprained my ankle one day walking up some steps to go get lunch, since the nurse was not on sight. I went to Paul assuming he as a coach had numbing spray or an ace bandage. He was working on my ankle when I happened to notice he had an apparent erection. I was a bit taken aback he was getting aroused in some way, until I realized from his position he could see slightly up my skirt. I have to admit for a moment I found the fact I was turning him on was stimulating in some way. I adjusted myself to see if a slightly better view would get him more worked up. He called me out on it. I laughed and told him he could work out his frustrations with his new girlfriend. Suddenly he kissed me, and I pushed him away. He kissed me again and I didn't.

we made out for a few minutes before I realized what I was doing. I hurriedly got out of his classroom and made it down the halls to my classroom. I sat in disbelief of what had just occurred. I didn't plan for it to happen and I was certain Paul didn't either. I didn't know if I should call William and tell him that moment or wait until he got home that night. But when I talked to Paul after classes he apologized, urged me not to bring any conflict into my marriage and remain just friends. I didn't want to give William more to stress about as he was out of town and focused on his

job assignment. After talking with William that night about how things were going in Tulsa, I decided to wait and tell him when he got home. His company was having some issues with the client having the manpower to keep the project running smoothly. There were things William could not get done due to the delays which meant he had to spend two extra weeks in Tulsa. Paul was there for me to discuss what had happened between us. I couldn't tell any of my women friends. I couldn't rely on any family members as they all rightfully loved William to pieces. I guess random strangers on a site like this would have been the best option had I known about it. But the person I was venting to was the very last person I should have been discussing it with. One Friday after work, Paul, and I went to a

new restaurant near the school for dinner. We sat at the bar and had a few drinks as I explained how unsettled I felt knowing I had to tell my husband what had happened. He asked me how I thought William would take the news and I told Paul he might want to call and sick the day after I told William just in case. He asked if I seriously thought William would beat his ass and I told him no, but I knew it would mean the end of Paul and I conversing and messaging, and rightfully so. Paul confessed he didn't think he would have made it through his breakup if it hadn't been for me. I assured him I was glad to be of assistance and didn't regret helping him. When the realization our friendship would end sunk in, I think we were both a little depressed.

I drank too much, he drank too much. And I ended up back at Paul's apartment doing a lot more than kissing. As soon as it was over my conscious kicked in, yes, it should have kicked in long before, but I knew beyond all shadow of any doubt my marriage was over and done with. William and I both had said society has allowed far too many second chances for people that didn't deserve them. Yes, humans do make mistakes. While we both believed anyone who cheated did deserve a second chance, it could never be with the one they betrayed. Life might give them the opportunity to love someone else again. But any opportunities with the cheated spouse was totally undeserved and detrimental to both parties. Things got very complicated when William

arrived home from Tulsa, I happened to be having my period, so, I knew there would be no intimacy between us, thankfully, not in a million years would I have subjected my husband to any diseases. Regardless of how much I wanted to make love to William one last time I couldn't allow that to happen, I wrote out a long letter to William confessing what I'd done and planned to give it to him after a face-to-face confession. To this day I don't know what happened for William to discover what was going on. For all I know he had been monitoring my online conversation with Paul from day one, to ask him how he discovered my betrayal, and the realization he'd learned what I'd done before I had the chance to tell him caused me to fall to my knees and swear I planned to tell him,

William didn't believe that, and I wouldn't have either. He had a stack of the texts between Paul and I printed out, though I didn't deny any of what he accused me of, that honesty came far too late. He packed a few things in a suitcase and left me on a Monday evening. Wednesday night he drove to a shopping center, parked his car, and took his own life. To know I had destroyed our relationship was torture to my soul like I'd never known, to know I'd even robbed him of a chance to find someone else to be happy with Ruin Me, the realization I didn't just end my relationship with William but every relationship he'd had or would have caused more guilt than I could ever express. I could go into all the things that have happened since William passed away,

but a lot of it would be details far too many wouldn't truly care about. Suffice it to say his family hates me and my family, my family was disgusted by my actions and continues to be to this day, their love for me didn't die. But their disappointment and shame toward me will never end and that's how it should be, no, the results were not anything I intended, but when choices are made that cause pain and suffering, we are still guilty for causing that grief. I see a therapist twice a week to try and work through things. I was introduced to someone through my therapist that is genuinely helping me sort through my feelings. Years ago, she intentionally set a small fire to set off alarms to scare her ex-boyfriend and the girl he just started seeing,

the fire spread quickly and what had been intended as a joke caused multiple people to lose their lives. She and I have discussed so many things about her story in mind. Things can never be the way they once were nor should they be. But if I am to keep living, I need a plan to make what is left of my life as meaningful as possible, so that is basically my story, anyone who wants to post messages of hate for me and tell me what a wretched person I am. Go right ahead, I won't be to it, but if it helps you get rid of any rage you have, make me your verbal punching bag, those with specific questions I will answer as best I can, no matter how much some things may hurt to discuss or admit, for those that read this who have been cheated on. Yes, many of you may have

been intentionally betrayed, but those who had a significant other who was just as perplexed why they cheated as you were, listen to my story. It doesn't make one damn thing I did right, just the opposite, but if it helps you to understand that you did little to nothing to cause the infidelity, so be it. Those unrepentant cheaters I hope you do read my cautionary tale, and know that you have the ability to destroy, you won't just be destroying someone else, you will be destroying your relationship with many people and a huge part of yourself. I realize I have no room to preach to or judge anyone except myself. I just don't want anyone to find their William and lose them, I don't want anyone to sink to the depths I did or cause the pain

and sorrow I did, and most of all I want all the people who have great relationships to cherish it and never take it for granted. As humans, we are not immune to being able to be swayed under the wrong conditions and series of events. When we love someone, we carry part of their soul around with us. Just one betrayal makes it impossible for that person to hold that piece of you again. I had my husband's heart in my hands. And I now deserve the fact I will never again hold his heart,

nor will he ever again hold me. This life is far too much pain without harming the very ones we love, and love is far too precious to risk on anything, TL slash DR, I cheated which caused my husband to commit Una lived mere days after confronting me. This is intended as a final response update. First, someone shared a link to a post asking if William posted it. William didn't have read it that I know of and considering he's been dead a year I doubt it was him. That was a sad story as well. I truly hope they opted not take his own life. For those trying to psychoanalyze me to make some sense out of the things I've done,

I appreciate the effort even if it was for your own self-interest. None of the many professionals I have seen so far have a good theory as to why I let things happen. I feel like there should be some valid reason why I did what I did too. I just can't come up with one, and it wouldn't be a valid reason to do what I did if I found one. For those that swear this is fake, I can't fathom a reason anyone would post this for a reason other than to warn and perhaps help. It certainly wasn't a karma, grab, I've barely responded so it wasn't for attention. And it certainly wasn't to lift my spirits because I've rightfully been slammed for my betrayal. Admitting to something horrible is not easy.

Imagining it never happened doesn't help but you all do you. I do not keep in contact with Paul and have not heard from him since before William committed Una lived. The only things I know about him are secondhand from people I worked with. I have no interest in being with Paul or having him in my life in any way. So those thinking I plan my vile actions to ride off into the sunset with a first-year lacrosse coach, no, bless you all, I won't be commenting anymore. But I'll leave the post up as resource in case someone needs it in the future.

Bless you all, me you have stellar lives full of happiness, but most of all peace. I hope you enjoy this story. My partner's child warned me that their father would eventually lose interest in me and seek something different, as he usually does, but I dismissed it until I stumbled upon messages in digital communications. On his work phone, and messages where he called his ex-wife names after she started dating. Me, 27F, and my boyfriend Jesse, 50M, had been dating for about three months. It's been a bit of a whirlwind romance. Jesse is the kind of guy I've

always wanted, confident and smart and makes me feel like a princess. The sex is great and I feel like we have a deep connection. Last Friday, Jesse and I went out and ran into his son, Julian, 19, at the bar. Julian shouldn't have been there as he is underage, so I assume he had a fake ID. Jesse was excited to see him, but Julian seemed like he didn't want to see Jesse at all. It was very awkward. Later, while Jesse was talking to someone he knew from work, Julian approached me. He told me, he'll get tired of you. He won't care about you anymore and just see you as something he has to spend money on.

Then he'll find something new. He always does, he said he was sorry and then left the bar. I didn't know how to respond, so I talked to Jesse. He told me how his ex-wife and stepdaughters had poisoned Julian against him. I've always known Jesse to be very generous, so I don't believe the money part is true, but I do know that Jesse hardly ever spends time with his son. He says Julian won't answer his calls or texts and avoids him. Jesse also works a significant amount and finds it difficult to balance his time.

How do I know if this is a red flag or not? This kid could just have a warped perception of his father. But I can't help but feel badly for Julian. He seemed really sad at the bar. Update, hi, it's been a couple of months since my last post. Thanks for all the advice, even though it was tough to hear. I ended up deciding to move forward with the relationship but keep an eye out for any other red flags. To backtrack, early in our relationship I got a text from a friend of mine that he

had seen Jesse at the local strip club. I spoke to Jesse about it, and he said he did not consider it cheating because he did not get lap dances or touch the dancers. I let him know then that I would let it slide but in the future, I am not okay with him going to strip clubs without talking to me about it first. He agreed. But I kept noticing he would be out working late. He told me he had an emergency, flood, and had to work late and I ended up seeing him at a gas station that I was driving by. I stopped and talked to him and he said he had just gotten off work, but he smelled like cigarettes and alcohol and his clothes weren't dirty like they typically are when he works flood damages. I also noticed he was very protective of his work phone. He leaves his

other cell phone out all the time. But once I asked to use his work phone to look something up and he basically told me no and to go get my phone charging in the other room. It all just built up so I snooped. I got up in the middle of the night when I was staying at his place and looked through both phones. On his work phone, I found texts to escorts and strippers. On his other cell, I found a ton of texts to his ex-wife who he promised me he didn't talk to anymore unless it was about Julian. Apparently she just started dating again a month ago, and he absolutely shredded her for it. He said some very cruel things, like you must have found a guy who loves fat asses if he'll be seen with you.

She never replied, as far as I can tell. Looking at those texts, I knew that any future with Jesse was going to end like this. I also saw that he never messages Julian. What's worse, their text feed is Julian reaching out every couple months and getting ignored. One text from a few months ago was Julian telling him that his band had a gig and asking if he would come. I remember that weekend, me and Jesse stayed in that night and had a bunch of sex. He never even mentioned his son had a show. I felt sick. I went online and bought 10 copies of his band Z-P a few days later. In the end, I decided to just ghost him. He obviously had no respect for our relationship, and I felt I didn't owe him anything. When he was at work, I got all my things out of his apartment and left a note. I just wrote that his family was right about him and to not contact me again. He texted me later that he had an emergency. and had to work late. He obviously hadn't seen my note and I just didn't respond. The next

day he found the note and started messaging me about it. I decided to take a page from his ex-wife's book and ignore him. As the week moved on and he realized I was serious the messages started getting hateful, things I don't care to repeat. I blocked his number then. It is disturbing for me to think about what a cruel and vicious person he ended up being. If Julian hadn't talked to me at that bar, Much longer would it have taken me to see this side of H-I-M, I also have this weird guilty feeling that I'm a home wrecker, even though Jesse obviously wrecked his home himself. I really thought of me and Jesse as having a potential for a long-term relationship. It hurts to have those hopes crushed.

I'm not getting any younger. I got a lot of comments last post about the age gap. I'm not really interested in that. I know several couples with significant age gaps. I'm a grown woman, not a teenager, and I can choose to date someone older. Hopefully it won't be an asshole next time. Edit, thanks for teaching me a lesson. This is a painful time for me.

I won't be responding to any more comments or PMs. Thanks. Next story, bought my athletic daughter running shoes because she needs for training, but my fiancé demanded I buy her kids' shoes too even though they don't play sports. Then she admitted she expected me to put her in my my will, so I kicked her out. My fiancé has three kids, 16m, 19F, 13m, with her ex. Meanwhile, I only have one kid with my ex, my daughter, 14F. My daughter is a state qualifying cross-country and track runner. This means that her training schedule is rather intense, with her weekly mileage

reaching into the high 70s and low 80s. At her most recent sports physical, I asked her doctor how often I should replace her shoes because I'm sure they get worn out pretty quickly with the amount of miles she's running each week. Her doctor recommended switching the shoes out every six months, as well as get two pairs of shoes so she can switch out the pair she's wearing every other day or so. However, her shoes may need to get replaced earlier depending on how intense her weeks get. After the appointment I took my daughter out to a few athletic stores so she can pick out a few pairs. I told her to pick out four pairs of running shoes, two for true, and track season and two for cross-country. Then I told her to pick out a pair of spikes for her races.

I spend over 300 for her shoes. When we came home, my fiancé saw the bags my daughter was holding and my daughter excitedly told her about the new shoes she has gotten. My fiancé stayed quiet until later that night while we were getting ready for bed she started yelling at me for being irresponsible and a horrible person to her own kids. She said she was very mad because I should also get her kids' shoes if I'm spending over 300 for my daughter. I mentioned that we agreed we would each provide for our own kids on our own, and her kids don't play any sports. They all sit in their rooms all day on their electronics, even when I do buy them something they never say thank you or appreciate what I get them. She got even angrier and now she hasn't

talked to me still. It's been two weeks. How do I handle her anger towards me for not getting her kids' shoes when I got my daughter's shoes. Additional information from Oop on his daughter. Oop, money is not an issue for me. I make a lot, more than enough to live comfortably. My daughter's passion for running will never die down so she won't quit. She tells me every day that she can't wait for practice so she can go on a run with her friends. Her foot size has stayed the same since seventh grade. She just started freshman year so I'm going to assume her foot size done growing. Also, as a runner, it is her responsibility to have a well-balanced diet, stretch, roll out, and utilize her recovery runs and rest days efficiently so that she does not get injured.

Of course injuries happen, but she does things so the risk is minimized and she has not had a serious injury in her running career. Comment Werup has replied, these are simply my opinions. One, as a former high school runner of similar caliber. Five pairs is a bit much all at once. Two pairs now, two pairs when track actually starts, and a pair of spikes for each season would have been fine, and is probably the right way to go ultimately. But buying them all at once probably is what got the shock factor ramped up for your fiancé. 2. As someone who has been in a relationship dynamic similar to yours, any relationship where yelling and insults are seen as a way to resolve disagreements and conflict is bad news.

I highly recommend counseling before marriage. on the back end of two years of individual counseling post-divorce, I know now how much we both could have used it beforehand. Oop, thank you for your opinions. I suppose I could have waited, but I leave for a work trip in the beginning of January, which is when her track season starts, and I know my fiancé wouldn't take her to get shoes even if I sent her money for it. It just made sense to me to get them for her now rather than wait.

The track shoes are put away and ready for her to take out when track season starts. Though, I do want to say that money is and never has been the issue. It's what I spent my money on for my daughter that my fiancé has issues with. To your comment on therapy, she has been medicated for depression and anxiety since she was 20. She goes to therapy herself weekly but she doesn't like the idea of me going with her. Update 1 My 30M Daughters 14F Nintendo Switch completely stopped working earlier this week. She got it the month it was released, March 2000. and has kept it in good condition for over six years.

Yesterday she had her conference cross-country meet, where she both PR'd and qualified to run state. To celebrate her new achievements, I took her out to eat and then bought her a new Nintendo Switch with a game she picked out. My fiancé, 38F, came back from her parents earlier today and saw my daughter playing with her Switch. She asked me about it after my daughter left with her boyfriend and I told her that I wanted to celebrate her accomplishments in her running career, so I got her a new switch as a gift. Fiance then got really angry and told me that if I'm going to buy my daughter something, then I have to be fair and buy her own kids, 19F, 16M, 13M, something too. I pointed out that I do buy her kids' gifts when they reach goals and achievements too.

For example, I bought my stepdaughter an expensive hello kitty necklace as a high school graduation gift and I let both the boys pick out two video games when they both pass their final exams. She told me that it's unfair I spend more on my daughter than I do on her kids because I make a lot more than her. Fiance then got angrier and accused me of not liking her kids because of the different financial treatment between her kids and my kid. She left with her two sons, but her daughter stayed with me at the house because she's on my side. I got a bunch of texts from her family calling me a selfish asshole for treating her kids different. when buying gifts.

Ida. Edit 1, to answer some common questions, because there's a lot of comments and it's hard to get to all of them in a timely manner. How does your fiancé treat your daughter? My daughter and fiancé don't interact much. They're both polite to each other, but they simply don't talk much aside from small talk and my daughter asking her some questions about cooking food.

I have mentioned to my daughter before that if my fiancé ever were to mistreat her, she needs to tell me and I will always have her back no matter what. To my knowledge, my fiancé doesn't mistreat her at all. They just don't talk much. Do you have a will or trust fund in place? I have a will set up that gives my daughter everything. My will is safe with a very trusted lawyer friend of mine. I also have a trust in place for my daughter, and she will gain full access to it once she turns 21. Did you have this argument in front of her children? No, she called her kids down and told them what we were arguing about. I told them my side, and her sons took her side and left with her.

What is your relationship like with her kids? How are they with your daughter? My relationship with her sons is unfortunately minimal. I try to talk to them about their favorite topics or hobbies, and they either ignore me or shut the conversation down as soon as possible. I don't talk to them much either other than when they come to me for advice on things like school, friends, etc. My relationship with her older daughter is very good though. I'd like to think we are close. As for my daughter, she doesn't talk to her stepbrothers much, but she's extremely close with her

older sister. Hope this clears up some things. Edit 2 to clear up another few common things being mentioned, my fiancé has not always been this way with my daughter and me. She started getting much more defensive when my daughter finished middle school. I am not with my fiancée. I am not with my for sex. My sex drive is low and so is hers. Her children's father is not in their life and does not pay child support. My daughter's mother is not in her life either. Update two, I made a post yesterday asking if I was the awe because I didn't buy my fiancé's kids a gift, but I bought my daughter one. I wanted to thank everyone for the positive feedback and the kind support as well as the helpful advice I've gotten. A lot of people asked for an update after I have talked to fiancé,

so here you go. She came back at 12 in the morning alone. She said she left the boys at her parents' place because she doesn't, in her words, want them in the presence of a man who won't provide for them. I sat her down and talked to her about a lot of things and a lot of you were right, this is not the woman I want to marry. When I first brought up how she doesn't bring anything to the table when I pay for everything, she didn't want to talk about it and kept dodging the subject. I brought up how unfair it was of her to expect me to provide for her and her children when she doesn't do anything for my daughter and the bare minimal for me. She doesn't do house chores, she doesn't pay bills, except her and her daughter's car payments

and car insurance, and she spends minimal time with both me and my daughter. Fiance didn't say anything. Then I talked about the financial and emotional abuse, she freaked the fuck out. She started yelling about how it was my job as the man to provide for her and her kids. when I make so much more than her and they have no father figure. I'm all they had and she kept bringing that up as an excuse for her behavior towards my money and how I spend it on my daughter. When I asked her what she expected me to do about my will or a pre-nup,

she told me that any good husband would put his wife above everyone else. She had been banking on me giving her everything I had for over a year at this point. I don't like yelling at all, but I was at my breaking point with her at this point. We yelled at each other a lot. It's not my finest moment and I'm ashamed but I realized that I let so much happen and my daughter suffered as a result of it. I told her about her neglect towards my child and I will not tolerate it any longer. She is my number one priority over everyone else and always will be. I don't think fiancé believed me when I said that, but I guess she realized I was serious when I told her to start packing.

I'm done being an ATM for that lady, and it's crazy to think how strangers on an app made me realize how I was stuck in such a time. toxic, manipulative, and abusive relationship with her. My now ex-fiancee won't be a problem anymore, I hope. I don't think I'll be with another person for a long time. But, thank you to everyone for the support and kindness. Edit, my ex's daughter will be staying with me and I will financially support her through college, and I will also help her get her own place. Her and I are on good terms and I want to make sure my ex will not be using her as a token to manipulate me any further. Comments where O.P. has replied, comment one, did she change her tune after you told her to pack? Any apologies? Or did she just leave bitterly? Oh, O.P., she started crying and begging me to

let her stay. No apologies, though. I felt bad because she kept saying I was leaving her poor and defenseless and now she has to stay with her parents. Comment two, so happy for you and your daughter to be rid of that toxic person. Most of the time it takes another person to point out something that you don't see. That's when you start to see that person in a new light. Rose-colored glasses for sure. Will you still try having a relationship with her daughter? Sounded like you, your daughter and her got along well.

Sad her boys didn't even attempt to play nice with you even after all you did for them. I bet their mother was manipulating them so you couldn't have one. God forbid they like you more than her. OOP, since her daughter is a legal adult, my ex doesn't have a say in where she lives. Her daughter will continue to live with me until she's able to get herself her own apartment, but she still has contact with her comment three. I may have come across as quite harsh yesterday, but my intentions was to try and make you see how bad it actually was for your daughter and how much she was manipulated well done for

putting your daughter above all. Do not let her friends and family bully you into taking her back good luck and protect yourself and your kid. OOP, your comments stood out to me because it addressed the reason why my daughter might not be telling me what really goes on when she's alone with my ex. I plan to talk to her later today when I pick her up from her boyfriend's house. I received a lot of harsh comments but I realized now it was necessary. I don't think I would have been able to leave my ex if people on the outside were nice to me about it. Comment four, bravo for tossing this gold digger out.

Bravo for choosing your daughter. She left. The trash took itself out. And I think it may well be apparent why the first marriage failed on her part. Just hope she isn't knocked up. And if you do hear anything about it make sure there's a paternity test. I just hope not because you will end up chained to this woman for a long time. Oh, O.P, I got a vasectomy as soon as I turned 18.

I mentioned this before, but both our sex drives were low and mine was even lower so our sex life was pretty non-existent. If she showed up on my doorstep claiming she was pregnant she would need to have some proof that it's mine or I'd get a paternity and DNA test done. Update 3. I just want to start off by saying, thank you so much to everyone for the kind words. Your support means so much to me and I truly am grateful for the community here. Y'all have opened my eyes and have helped me a ton. Of course there's the other side of the coin where I got some hate, a few comments of claiming my life is fake and bullshit, and then some weirdo in my messages asked me for people. pictures of my daughter's feet. It's not worth my time to focus on the bad side, but regardless, thank you to everyone for your input. All of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. A popular

question I have seen get asked around is how the hell I got multiple pairs of shoes for 300. The answer is simple, discounts. A good friend of mine owns an athletic shoe store downtown, so I went there. Got a discount because she goes to the local high school and because she on the team. Also because he's my friend. I'm eternally grateful for him, he's done me real good. On the topic of shoes, many people have asked me why I've gotten my daughter-track shoes now even though it's cross-country season. The answer to that is also really simple, I won't be here. I leave for a work trip when her season starts so in my mind, it made sense for me to buy her all the gear she needs now while I'm still here. Though I suppose it doesn't matter much now because her season

is quite literally about to end. And then indoor track season starts shortly after. My daughter and I are fine, I got her into therapy and I think it really helps her. Exa's daughter is also fine, I offered to get her into therapy too, but she said she'd handle it on her own time, so I figured I'd just let her handle it on her own. She's an adult and I now recognize that she's capable of being responsible with her mental health and recognizing when she needs to get help. Both girls know they can come to me whenever, wherever, for whatever.

I did get security cameras installed and nothing has happened, it's been peaceful. Also to answer another common question, yes, I became a parent at 16. It was not my choice, but I'm glad something good came out of that situation. I work in a chemical plant and I've been working there since I was 19. I got extremely lucky with this job because, truth be told, I didn't even go to college. I'm grateful for the opportunities one have had to be working in a good-paying job with just a high school diploma. Thank you again to everyone's support. Comments where OP has replied, comment one, good to hear your daughter is in therapy and doing well.

Any update on X after she you broke up with her? Did she try and pull any gold digger stunts or she leave peacefully to her parents? Nope, it's been peaceful. Comment two, when did the X move out? How did that end? So happy to see you and the girls doing good. Oop, I kicked her out last week, as you can imagine, she was definitely not happy with that. Comment three, good on you O.P. You are a great dad and stepdad. What was your stepdaughter's relationship like with her mother?

It's interesting she chose to stay with you and the boys go. Did she favor the boys and treat them differently? Oop, from what I can tell, she actually favored her, I think, because she's the oldest and is her firstborn. She did baby and coddle the two boys a lot, though, especially the 13-year-old. Comment four, have you tried reaching out to the sons? Sucks that they are the ones caught in the crossfire here. I guess there isn't much you can do if they don't want a relationship, but it sounds like they need a good parent, and probably therapy, more than anyone. Well, other than your ex, of course.

Oop, I have not tried reaching out. I don't have their numbers anymore and I don't want to contact their mom for any reason. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse departed from Me and our infant to search for his true self and declared he would not return, disappearing with all our funds. Several weeks later, he returned, expressing a desire to reunite as a family. I am feeling rather conflicted about a decision I have made regarding my family so I would like to know everyone's opinion on whether I am right or wrong about this. To start with, my life turned upside down four weeks ago when my husband, Dave, suddenly announced one evening

that he was leaving me and our daughter. This announcement came out of nowhere and nothing could have prepared me for that moment. I was completely blindsided and lost. You see, Dave was the love of my life. I had always been Gaga over him since the first day I had met him at a friends party. He was 100% my type. We eventually became friends and then started dating when we realized that our attraction was mutual. Getting into a relationship with him was easy, but the only thing that was missing from our relationship was Seggs. Right from the beginning, Dave had a laid-back approach when it came to intimacy, and would hardly initiate romance in any way. I was less experienced than him so this nonchalant attitude of his would make me question if he even

found me attractive at all. Each time, he would assure me that he did, but would then come up with excuses like he was too tired after work. What really bugged me was that he would eye other women when we were out in public so this wasn't like he wasn't attracted to women. Our physical connection was infrequent, happening maybe every six weeks, turning our relationship into more of a close friendship with occasional romantic moments. Though the scarcity did leave me wanting more, I held my tongue due to my love for him and my fear of making him feel uneasy by discussing this again and again. I convinced myself that with his experience, he would take the lead if he wanted more intimacy so I decided to accept our situation as it was. It's important to note that

Dave suffered from depression after his dad passed away when he was in college so he was on medication which might have been resulting in his low libido or so I thought. Unlike our physical connection, Dave heavily relied on me emotionally. He was an introvert and never really shared a lot of personal things about his life with his friends when I met his mother, Martha, for the first time, she was quick to notice this and gushed to me later how it had been years since she had seen her son so happy. Although we had a great four years of dating before he finally proposed to me, we did have a few hiccups where I'd caught him texting other women sometimes.

The incident that stands out is when I once caught him talking to his ex-girlfriend about us during the initial months of our dating. His ex-girlfriend. Sonia had been caught cheating on Dave with his friend Fawz. Dave had left her despite her apologies, but Sonia would still try to get back together with him. I remember how she would text him a lot in the initial days of our flirting, and Dave would tell me that it was his ex's turn to grovel

and that he would never ever be with a cheater like her. This is why it shocked me when I went through their chats and saw that he had been complaining about me, my job, my weight, my looks, and my cooking among other things to Sonia. Sonia had, of course, initiated all the conversations by telling him how she was better looking than me, but Dave, instead of defending me and blocking her, had kind of agreed to her. He had written long paragraphs about how I was definitely not his type and how he preferred women like Sonia, but since Sonia cheated on him, he had decided to settle with someone like me.

Sonia had used derogatory comments about my belly, double chin, and back by using words like how I look like a penguin. As you can imagine, I was utterly shocked and disgusted reading their chats. To clarify, I am not and I have never been overweight. I go for yearly visits to the doctor and work out whenever I can. It's true I was not overly fit like his ex who used to play volleyball for her college, but there was no reason for them to talk about me this way. Their entire interaction wasn't flirty in any way, but all they talked about was me and how much they both disliked my looks. There was even a picture of me in a dress which I had worn for a friend's wedding

and Dave had sent it to my ex saying you would look much better than her in this dress and she had gleefully agreed. I was at a loss for words and broke down crying. That night when Dave returned home, I confronted him about the chats and his face went white as a sheet. He immediately went down on his knees and apologized for how wrong. he was to do this. I told him while crying that he could have just talked to me about this if he wasn't attracted to me and we could have broken up without any drama but Dave started

pleading saying how he loves me from my heart and that he couldn't survive without me. He continued to tell me how even though I was not his ideal type when it came to looks, I was still the person he wanted to be with. I was ready to leave that night but his crying and groveling changed my mind. I hate how much I used to love him because, despite all these clear red flags, I thought this man would eventually change to appreciate me for who I am. After this conversation, I asked Dave to block his ex and he agreed, promising me that he would never talk to her again. This coupled with a few other minor incidents, like when I found him chatting with random

women on dating apps in the second year of our relationship and he quickly apologized and deleted the apps with the only ever hiccup in our dating life. In the months leading up to Dave proposing to me, he seemed to have changed and we were the happiest, which is why I didn't think twice before saying yes to him. Since our marriage, we seemed to have had a better and more fulfilling relationship. We were consistently intimate with each other and he would tell me every day how much he loved me. We loved cuddling and watching movies or sleeping together on the weekends. Eventually, I got pregnant with Cici.

Initially. Dave wasn't happy about the pregnancy since he was scared about our finances and was worried if we would be able to afford living with a baby but I reassured him that I would get back to my job after my childhood so we could still afford our Dave's mother and my parents were there for us after I gave birth to Cece and have been a huge help when it comes to babysitting on the days the both of us have to work. Although Dave hasn't always been a present father and hardly helps out with her, I have never once pressured him into thinking he would eventually come around. The only good thing about him was that he would help me out with chores

around the house even if he had a tiring day at work, unlike other husbands that I have heard of from my friends, which is why I never for once imagined that the day would come when he would want to leave me and Cici. Dave had been acting distant and strange for weeks leading up to the revelation, but I had brushed it off as work-related stress. We had been together for a long time and had stuck by each other through thick and thin, so I thought he would eventually get better. But four weeks ago, Dave finally confessed that he couldn't live with us anymore and wanted to go away somewhere far to find himself. At first, I thought he was joking because this couldn't seriously be something a sane married man would say to their family with a newborn baby, but Dave

continued to say how living with us was making him question the meaning and purpose of his life and how he was done with this charade. Every word he spoke cut through me like a knife, and I felt a mixture of anger and despair swirling in my stomach. He continued to reassure me that he still loved us, but he couldn't deny what he was feeling any longer and that if he continued to live with us then he would just get more and more frustrated every day. I asked him point-blank if he had been taking his medications on time and he got very angry hearing that since I thought this was a result of his depression.

If this had been the case, then we could have gone for counseling to help him feel better, but Dave started shouting at me about how I and Cici were the cause. of his depression and how living with us had made him hate his life. I froze hearing the hate and disgust in his words. Out of nowhere, he started accusing me of baby trapping him which was absolutely ridiculous because he didn't pay a single cent for Cece. I earned significantly more than him and paid almost 80% of our bills including taking care of Cece since he had a minimum wage job. How could I baby trap him when he didn't have any money, to begin with? When I pointed this out, Dave said how he thought having a daughter would fix his life, but he has since realized

that he didn't want this life anymore. I was overwhelmed by a whirlwind of emotions, unable to make sense of what was happening, and it felt like the walls of our home were closing in on me. My voice quivered as I asked him directly if he was planning on leaving me to take care of our daughter and he nodded slowly saying how I'm the mother so Cece should be my responsibility. I sat there in shock as he continued to say how although he didn't expect me to understand, he needed to do this for himself. He had given it a lot of thought, and he was going to start a new life far away from us where he could be himself.

The world came crashing down around me. I just couldn't believe that my husband was leaving me and our infant child. My first instinct was to scream, to plead, to do anything to make him stay, but I looked at his face, and I knew that he had already made his choice. and there was no turning back. That night he didn't even sleep next to me in bed and went downstairs to sleep on the sofa. This was the first time we had slept apart from each other

so I knew that he was serious and had given this a lot of thought. Dave moved out the following week, leaving me to explain to everyone that Dave had left us. When I first told my family about Dave, they had the same reaction as me. They just couldn't understand why on earth my husband and boyfriend of so many years would do something like this. My parents immediately wanted me to pursue this legally,

but at that point in my life, I felt numb and shattered so I needed some time to let this sink in. Dave's mother was utterly broken when I gave her the news. She called him multiple times, pleading with him to return to us, but he told her the same story about how he needed to find himself. Everyone was quite worried about him since they all thought this was a result of his depression,

but the way he was behaving seemed like he had given this a lot of thought. Two days after Dave had left, I discovered that he had also emptied our entire savings account while I was out grocery shopping for the house and our card declined. I was shocked and when I went to check my balance I discovered that the account had been wiped clean. My first thought was that someone had hacked into our account, but later I discovered that it was Dave who had taken out all the money. This joint account had money that I earned as well and Dave had taken out everything without even discussing it with me. I was furious and shocked.

I had to call my parents for help and thankfully, my dad came to my rescue. He then drove me back to my place while I was worried sick about how I would be paying the rent that month and taking care of other bills. This is when my dad made me sit down and told me very seriously that I needed to move on from Dave and look at the reality of the situation. He pointed out how my husband had knowingly wiped the account clean without discussing it with me and left me and my child to starve. Watching Cece look at me with her beautiful blue eyes is when the fog slowly started lifting from my eyes. I finally understood what Dave had done to us. Had it not been for my dad, my child would not even have clean diapers to wear or food to eat.

For the first time in my life, I had someone other than me to think about and my dad was right. Cece deserved better than this. I made up my mind that I would be visiting the lawyer's office with my dad the very next day, I could start the divorce procedure. My parents, who I will always be thankful for, offered to let me move in with them and stay in their basement so I could have some privacy while taking care of Cece and also get my life in order. I couldn't believe it, but at the age of 32, I had zero money left and a child to take care of, thanks to my poor judgment of choosing a pathetic man like Dave. As you can imagine, I wanted to mentally break down, but for Cece, I tried to keep it

together. I had never reached rock bottom this way and felt lost. I had to take a few days off from work so I could shift to my parents' place and get everything in order. Eventually, days passed and my family and friends rallied around us, offering me support and a shoulder to lean on. My parents would babysit Cece whenever they could and Dave's mother, Martha would come to visit. Once my lawyer had drafted the divorce papers, I wanted to mail the divorce papers to Dave, but he seemed to have changed his number and I had no idea how to get in touch with him. Hence I decided to talk to Martha and ask her if she knew where her son was. Martha broke down when she found out that I was divorcing Dave.

She started to tell me how she had never imagined that this day would come and beg me to reconsider, but my parents backed my decision. I reassured Martha that she would always have a place in Sese's life regardless of my divorce and asked her to inform Dave about this. I wanted to get done with this divorce since all the papers in custody agreement had been prepared and we could then move on from all this. Martha, still weeping begrudgingly, agreed to pass on the message to Dave. Last week, I received a call from an unknown number.

I was at work so I ignored the call, but in the evening I received a call from the same number again. This time I picked up and to my surprise, it was Dave on the other end of the line. He tentatively told me hello while I was speechless to hear his voice after four weeks. He hesitated before telling me that Martha had talked with him about my decision and that he wanted to meet me urgently to discuss a few things. I firmly told him that anything he wanted to discuss, he could talk to my lawyer, but Dave started pleading that he just had to see me. I was confused, so I asked him to clarify, but Dave was being very dodgy.

He kept repeating how we needed to have this conversation and that. that it was really important. His repeated pleas were difficult to ignore, so I took a moment to gather my thoughts and finally agreed to meet with him alone, albeit cautiously. The rendezvous was set, and we decided to meet at a cafe near my parents' place. As I hung up the call, a whirlwind of questions and uncertainties filled my mind, leaving me anxious about meeting him. I decided not to tell my parents anything until after I met him to see what the discussion he kept talking about was. I knew my dad would literally murder Dave if he got his hands on him. On the day of our meeting, I arrived early, nervously sipping my coffee as I waited

for Dave. It wasn't long before he walked in, approaching me with a mix of hesitation and determination. I couldn't believe how in just four weeks, this man had gone from the love of my life to someone I felt disgusted towards when looking at him. I didn't want to entertain him, so I kept quiet when he tried to awkwardly ask how I was doing or if Cece was doing well. Eventually, Dave gathered his courage and told me how Martha had informed him of my decision to divorce him which had shocked him completely. He told me that finally hearing the word divorce had made him realize what exactly he had done and he didn't want to lose me and Cece. I stared at him blankly as he kept speaking all those empty words which I would have readily

believed a few weeks ago but now I knew much better. Dave then dropped a bombshell, he proposed that he wanted to come back to us and wanted me to forgive him. He said how things hadn't gone down the drain yet so I could still forgive and forget about all of this so he could move back and we would continue to live our normal lives. I stared at him in disbelief as he told me that he had realized that this was the life he wanted and couldn't imagine a life without us. I took a few moments to gather my thoughts. Although I did want my child to have her father in her life, I knew that Dave and I could never go back to who we were. I also knew that if Dave had really cared for us then he would not have emptied our joint account and left me and Cece to starve.

What he had done was unforgivable to me and I could never forget it. As much as the idea of getting back as a family appeal to me, I couldn't ignore the pain and anger that had built up from his abandonment. So, I firmly told him that while I appreciated the offer, I just couldn't forget how he had selfishly decided to leave me and our baby to fend for ourselves. I told him that I was living at my parents' place and they were much more of a parent figure to Sisi than Dave ever was. I reminded him how he had accused me of baby trapping him so he couldn't just waltz back into our lives because there was no guarantee that he wouldn't pull this shit again in the future. I wanted to protect Sisi so she could have a stable family to rely on. I reminded him how he was

selfish enough to wipe our joint account clean while leaving me all alone to take care of our infant daughter, to which Dave tried to clarify how he knew my parents would take care of him and that he needed to clear his head. I scoffed at his audacity and told him that I would never be coming back to him. Dave kept pleading with me to reconsider, his eyes filled with desperation, but I knew that if I allowed him back into our lives, I would be taking a huge gamble and I didn't want that anymore. My heart ached a bit at the thought of rejecting his offer, but I couldn't overlook the permanent emotional scars he had left behind. I walked out of the cafe thinking this would be the last time I had to hear of this. Unfortunately, since my meeting with Dave,

Martha has been trying to make me reconsider my decision. She keeps saying how I should think about Cece and that my daughter would want to live with both her parents. She keeps arguing that Dave made a mistake and that as his wife I should forgive him. She clearly thinks I am being selfish and wants me to put my child's comfort above my heartbreak, however, I am adamant about not giving Dave another chance. Due to her words, I have been questioning my own judgment, torn between the potential benefits of accepting Dave's offer and the memories of his abandonment. So Reddit, am I the A-hole for rejecting Dave's offer and possibly keeping Cece from having a whole family? Should I forgive Dave and get back together with him?

Update 1. In just a few days, I have received thousands of comments and and messages from people. I am glad that a majority of you don't think I am the A-hole. I listened to everyone's advice and decided to first talk to my parents regarding this. They were shocked to hear that Dave had gotten back in touch with me and my mother was furious that I went to meet him all on my own. My dad told me how Dave's constant changing of mind was really worrisome and this could be a mental health issue, just like a lot of people have been commenting, so I should not be meeting him all alone. I agreed and told my parents of my decision to not let Dave back into our lives. My parents heaved a sigh of relief

and told me that this was the right decision and that I should continue to focus on my divorce. Following this, I plan on talking to my lawyer about the next course of action so we can speed up the divorce process. I know there will be people who will think that I should forgive Dave, but this is no longer about me. My daughter deserves to have a more loving parent and clearly, Dave doesn't love us so he doesn't deserve to have a second chance. Also, there are a few people who seem to think that Dave might have left me for another woman and it couldn't have been just his mental health issue. Well, to be honest, I really don't care what his reason was.

He abandoned us and left me to pick up the pieces regardless of why he chose to do what he did. Update 2, the divorce papers have been served to Dave who is apparently living with his mother currently. Since then, his relentless calls have become increasingly desperate over the past few weeks, and no matter how much I explained to him that I do not want him back, he keeps calling. As a non-confrontational person, I feel cornered and emotionally drained by his constant attempts to reach me. Martha has also been sending me messages about forgiveness and the sacrifices of being a good mother. My dad decided to take matters into his own hands and went to pay Dave a visit.

He firmly told Dave that he was lucky that there were laws in our country otherwise he would have buried him alive after what he did to me and his granddaughter. My dad is a buff, military guy, so I can only imagine how scared Dave must have been after their talk. My dad warned him to not contact me unnecessarily and that he could communicate through his lawyers only. Martha tried to make my dad see how forgiving Dave would be best for everyone, but Dave retorted that she should have raised a better son who should have never walked out of his family in the first

place. Martha argued that Dave was going through something mentally, but my dad pointed out how he had blamed me and Cece for walking out so she should be blaming her son for all this and not asking me to forgive him. Her texts also stopped after this. Meanwhile, despite all this, I am trying my best to not lose my focus on my work and perform well. I don't want to lose out on my job since I am saving up money to eventually move.

out on my own. My parents have been more than helpful and I am grateful for them every day. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have the support of such loving parents. I have blocked Dave for now, so he can't disturb me anymore. I plan to see him directly during our divorce proceedings. Update 3. It's been two months since my last update, and I can finally give an update. Our divorce's proceeding is updated earlier and Dave has been fighting tooth and nail to make this as hard for me as possible. He clearly just wants to drag it out. Since we both own nothing, there is no property to split and I do not want anything from him in alimony. But his lawyer has been demanding equal co-parent rights when it comes to Cece which is absolutely ridiculous

because I do not want my daughter to be anywhere with an unstable person like him. To protect my daughter, my lawyer then had to tell the court about Dave's mental health issues over the years which I would have otherwise not like to discuss and how he abandoned us out of nowhere by taking all the money from our joint account and blaming me for baby trapping him despite me earning more than him. I am hoping that the court realizes

how unreliable he is and doesn't grant him custody because there is no guarantee of what he can do to CeC with how his mind works if she is left with him all alone. Dave's mother, Martha, comes to all our court proceedings and looks at me with disdain, but I neither acknowledge her nor do I care any longer

about how she feels. I would have accepted her having a relationship with my daughter had she not decided to blame me and coerze me into forgiving her pathetic son. I will do what is best for my child. She has tried to talk to me several times after our court sessions, but my dad always quickly whisks me away from her. I know that it's going to take a while before I am freed of Dave legally, but in the meantime, I have decided to take some time off so I can take my parents and Cece to Napa Valley.

My parents had always wanted to go there and I feel like we all need a break from this ongoing drama. I want to create beautiful, joyous memories with my family despite what we are all going through. I know as long as we have each other, we can face whatever the future holds with strength and resilience. Update 4. Since my last update 5 months ago, I have some happy and exciting news to share. First of all, I was recently promoted at work, and it feels like a huge accomplishment. since I now have better pay and can finally earn a comfortable income that would allow me to move out and live comfortably on my own with Sisi. Although my parents don't want me to go, since they have become extremely close with Sisi, I feel like this is a necessary step to find my own independence

and they understand. The promotion did not just bring financial security but also the satisfaction of knowing that my hard work and dedication had finally paid off in the end. Secondly, I am finally divorced. Thanks to my lawyer who fought for me every day for the last few months I am finally free from Dave and his mother. They did try to make my life hell, but in the end, the judge saw that Dave wasn't a fit parent. They have ordered Dave to pay child support every month and go for mandatory therapy sessions where he will be monitored. If the results are positive then he may reappeal the decision of his parenting rights if he wants to. I doubt that he will go through all this again, but in case if he ever decides to do that, then I am ready to fight him

again. My family and friends have stood by my side throughout all this, providing me support in any way that they can. Now that I am earning more than enough, I plan on going to therapy. I understand that I might have abandonment issues so these therapy classes will help me better process my emotions and work through any lingering issues so I can be a better parent to CeCi. I have been researching therapists with expertise and have found a compassionate and experienced therapist who specializes in helping families navigate such complex emotions. Despite the challenges and emotional turmoil we have faced, my family and I are going to be okay. This chapter is far from over, but I am going to be writing my own story from now on,

and I am determined to ensure it's one filled with love, trust, and growth with my daughter. I hope you enjoy this story. obtained sole guardianship following my unstable former spouse's assault on me at a diner after deceiving me into skipping work solely because she falsely informed her new partner that I had passed away. Hey, everyone. So I did something a couple of days back and I've received a lot of flack for it since. Which is why I wanted to ask you guys if I was the A-hole here. So I was married to my ex-wife for five years but we have been divorced for around a year now. My ex-wife is 33F and I am 35M.

We also have shared custody of our six-year-old son. My ex-wife and I met at work eight years ago and fell for each other there. We started dating and the relationship continued even after I quit my job there and started working someplace else. After two years of dating, we decided to get married and a little after our wedding, we found out we were pregnant. We were happy together with our little family consisting of me, my ex-wife, and my son, but that didn't last long. A couple of years into our marriage, the pressure of work and raising our son started taking its toll on our relationship, but unlike most couples, we were not able to overcome it. The last two years of our marriage were pretty much just us ignoring each other as much as we could because we couldn't even hold a conversation if our life depended on it. It would either be pointless small talk or it would end in a fight.

So we just stopped talking and that should have been my signal to leave, but for some reason, I was still holding out hope that things would someday go back to normal. It didn't and actually got worse because right before we filed for divorce with mutual consent, we had a huge fight which is what kind of made us both realize that this was over. I don't remember how the fight started anymore, it was probably something about me forgetting to do the dishes from the night before because I'd had to work late. That petty argument blew up into something ten times bigger and we said the most horrible things to each other in our anger

which all happened to be what we were really feeling anyway. That fight was what effectively ended our marriage and we filed for divorce with mutual consent. Our son was thankfully not at home that day and was with my parents because they wanted to take him out for a day. It took him a while to get used to the custody arrangements, but I guess he's a smart kid and understands that his parents don't get along at all and need to be separate to do a half-decent job at raising him and living their own lives.

We tried to stay together in spite of our marital problems for his sake, but honestly, it's better this way where at least he doesn't have to watch his parents fight like animals every single day and try to rip each other's heads off or just pretend the other doesn't exist. This is a better choice. My ex-wife and I started living separately right after our last fight and had worked out our own custody arrangement before anything had been finalized by the court and have continued to co-parent our son since. It was going smoothly until a couple of weeks ago, when my ex-wife and I got into another argument and this time it was about our son. She'd taken him to the bookstore and bought him a bunch of toys and a book that was clearly not age-appropriate. She claimed that the book was supposed to be hers and that she'd accidentally let it go with him,

but now my son was asking me what a bunch of words meant which I obviously couldn't tell him because he wasn't supposed to know these words. In the first place, he'd gone through the first page of the book which had a bunch of cuss words and while he hadn't picked up the other words, he sure had a knack for picking the ones he wasn't supposed to say out loud. These were all cuss words and my son was saying them all day now, thanks to his mother's carelessness. I told her that she'd been careless and that she needed to be more mindful

when she had our son with her. So that turned into a fight because she thinks I have no right to try and teach her how to raise her son even though I'm his parent too and as far as I know, I have every right to do this. We got into a massive argument over that

and things were blown out of proportion so we stopped talking once more unless it was absolutely necessary. Ever since we separated, we only discussed our son anyway, and now that we were in a fight once more, we weren't talking at all unless we had to discuss it, like the timings of our son's drop-offs and pick-ups at our respective homes, or if there were any health concerns regarding him.

That's how it's been for the past couple of weeks, and it's been tense and formal, but I've been okay with it. We got divorced for a reason, and the reason was that we simply couldn't get along anymore, so if I was okay with it back then, I was more than okay with it now. It seemed to me though that she might have been taking this harder than I was because she'd blocked me on social media, something I hadn't done. She'd also become more and more aggressive whenever she'd drop our son off at my place and the way she'd act was nothing short of nasty. She wouldn't even look at me, but she'd make sure that she was as aggressive as possible while shoving all my son's belongings towards me whenever she'd bring him over.

It was annoying, but I didn't say anything because it wasn't affecting me the way she thought it was going to. and I just didn't care what she thought of me anymore, we were done. I'm sure she was getting even more angry that I wasn't giving her a reaction like she wanted, which is what probably led to what happened three days back. So I had a work party to go to and my ex-wife had agreed to look after our son for the evening. I was surprised that she'd agreed because it was the second half of the week and it was my turn to have him, so I thought she'd relished the opportunity to keep me on my toes and create some trouble for me, but she agreed without any fuss.

I dropped our son off at her house and she took him inside without any of her usual aggression which she reserved specifically for me and I was pleasantly surprised because I thought that she was finally choosing to act like a grown-up instead of throwing childish tantrums. After dropping my son off at her place, I started driving towards the venue but 20 minutes later, I received a message from my ex-wife saying that I needed to come to her place ASAP because she had something to tell me about our son. I was already running late so I decided to ask her if it was really that important and she said it was just one little thing, but we absolutely had to talk about it in person and we had to talk about it now. I had no idea what she was going

on about but if it was about our son, I didn't want to leave anything up to chance and decided to drive back to her place and skip the party. It took me another 20 minutes or so to go back and when I reached her house, I found her gone along with our son. All the lights inside her house were turned out and her car wasn't parked in the garage either. All that she'd left for me to find out was a note she'd stuck to the door which said, taking, our son's name, to meet my new BF. Stay mad. I saw red at that point and decided to call her up because there was no way she was this petty and mean.

I called her a few times, but she didn't answer and when I tried to text her, she was still unresponsive. I was standing outside her door in a tux, looking as stupid as I felt and I knew that I couldn't let her just get away with this, so I decided to do something just as crazy as what she'd done. I decided to ask her mother where she was because I knew for a fact she always kept her mother updated and informed about her location. I told my ex-mother-in-law that I wanted to surprise her and my son with something really special and that I needed to know where she was but without her knowing that I was looking for her. Her mother was naive enough to believe me and send me her location, which happened to be at a nearby restaurant.

We'd been to that restaurant a couple of times and I made my way there within a few minutes. Once I reached, I spotted my son and his mother sitting at a table near the window with another guy and I felt a surge of anger and annoyance once more. My ex-wife and son had their backs to me so they didn't see me coming but the other guy did and he looked really confused as I made my way to their table and pulled out a chair to sit next to him. When my ex-wife realized what was going on, she looked shocked that I'd found her and started fumbling with her words, but I wasn't there for her, I was there for her new boyfriend. I looked him straight in the eye and started telling him all about what my ex-wife had been up to and revealed just how psychotic she was.

I told him about the dirty book she'd accidentally sent our son home with, her weird aggression with me, and of course what she'd done that day. She'd literally made me skip a work event so she could be petty and create trouble for me by using our son. He looked shocked and my ex-wife kept trying to speak over me, but I just kept going on and on because all the terrible things just kept coming up like vomit. I was really angry about what she'd done that day so I didn't stop talking until her so-called boyfriend said that he needed to leave. He practically ran out of the rest and by the time that

happened, my ex-wife was in tears. My son just looked really confused and that's kind of the only thing I regret because I didn't want him to feel that way. After her boyfriend ran out on her, we stayed at the table for a couple more minutes while my ex-wife blubbered on about how I'd ruined her relationship. Apparently, her boyfriend wasn't aware that she was still co-parenting with me and I was an active part of her life because she told him that her son's father had passed away and that when her son wasn't with her, he was with her parents. So he had no idea and now that he'd found out about me, it seemed unlikely that he'd want to come back to her because, for three months, she'd been lying to him. I didn't feel bad for her at all because she'd chosen to lie

and that wasn't my fault. Then she'd chosen to play games with me just out of pettiness and this was just the consequences of what she'd done to herself so she could cry all she wanted to, but I wasn't going to feel bad for her at all. I think she must have been waiting for me to apologize to her or something, but I just sat there silently and watched her cry. So after a couple of minutes of crying, she decided to lunge at me to attack me physically, but luckily a waiter was there to stop her. Our son was pretty traumatized and we got thrown out and blacklisted from the restaurant. The cops were called and I decided to press charges because she did attack me and I didn't have any sympathy for her at that point. She was let off with a warning after she was taken to the station but that just made sure that I'd be filing for full custody of our son and I even told her about it before blocking her.

It's been three days since I've blocked her number and stuff. I've also spoken to my lawyer and I'm filing for full custody of my son soon. I'm not sorry about what happened because despite everything, I'd always believed that she was at least a decent mother and could have partial custody of our son, but after the incident at the restaurant I no longer have that opinion. But her mother called me up yesterday to scream at me and that kind of made me rethink my move. She told me that my ex-wife was very disappointed that I'd chosen to push her to the edge and now was flipping it on her and using her outburst against her to get custody of our son. Apparently, I'd been horrible to her for ages and now I'd ruined two of her most important relationships, her boyfriend and her son. I told my ex-mill that this was not all my fault and if anything, she should blame herself

for being petty and pushing me to do something so petty because I'm not the kind of person who usually takes things so far. We had a bit of an argument and my ex-mother-in-law told me that this was a really cruel thing to do to the mother of my child and that she'd lost a lot of respect for me. Now that really hit hard because at the end of the day, no matter what she'd done, she still was the mother of my child and apart from that one incident she'd always been a good mom. Even in that instance, I'm not sure if I have the right to say she'd been a bad mother because she'd attack me out of anger and after she'd come back to her senses, she'd immediately checked up on how her son was doing while the restaurant manager called the police. She barely even cared about me or even herself so I can't say she's been a bad mother. A slightly irresponsible one, sure, but not entirely bad or evil.

At the same time, I don't know if it's safe for our son to be left alone with his mother now because she has a lot of issues. First, she lied to her boyfriend about my involvement in her life for no real reason because if he was okay with her having a son then he'd probably be okay with her having an ex-partner. Then she physically attacked me, and even apart from that, there was all the weird aggression with me and the way she seemed to hate me with a passion. There is a strong chance that she might try to turn our son against me in the future and I can't risk it because he's still really young and impressionable. I still want to get full custody because I honestly think he might be better off with me, but my ex-Mills words threw me off.

I'd offer wanting full custody of my son because my ex-wife attacked me in public over a heady fight we were having? Update 1, okay, so I decided to go through with a petition to get full custody. I weighed out the pros and cons and honestly, none of it mattered in the end after I spoke to my son. I asked him point blank if he would rather live with me full time than his mother and he said that he wanted to live with me. When I asked him why, he told me that his mother wasn't around most of the time anyway and he ended up spending most of the time with his nanny. He liked being with her, but he'd rather stay with me instead. Apparently, his mother would be out with her boyfriend most of the time and she'd forbidden our son from complaining to me about it so he hadn't told me a word of it so far.

Even when she'd be at home, she'd bring her boyfriend with her and they'd spend most of their time together in the bedroom while he'd played by himself in the living room and that's what really set me off. So many things could have gone wrong and I'm thankful that they didn't. Whenever his mother was at home with her boyfriend, he didn't even have his nanny looking after him and was completely on his own during that time which was dangerous. He didn't say it but I could tell that our son felt neglected whenever he was at his mother's place and that cemented my decision to get full custody. At the end of the day, what matters is whether our son is happy or not, and if he's happier with me then he'll stay with me.

It's as simple as that. Even if I kept my own conflicts with my ex-wife aside, there was no denying that she'd completely forgotten about her own son while chasing after her boyfriend who apparently was so important that she couldn't spare even a second to look after our son. I shouldn't even have delayed the process and I definitely should not have fallen for my ex-mother-in-law's manipulation. I bet this is her way to try and make up for her daughter for screwing up and giving me her location the other day. Otherwise, she probably would not have bothered herself with these things because she's a woman who's usually really detached from whatever goes on with her daughter and didn't even seem to care much when we got divorced.

Anyhow, I don't really care what she thinks or what her daughter thinks to me. Nothing is more important than my son's happiness and health. And clearly, that's not something my ex-wife cares about so she can just go to hell. Update 2, it's been close to a week since the last update and today, my ex-wife was served. My son is still living with me and his mom had the good sense not to question it so far, but after she came to know that I'd filed for full custody, she came right over to my house and demanded an explanation as if this was a new development and I hadn't already told her about it.

I refused to let her in and instead, I decided to threaten her with the cops. So she chose to go another way and stood right outside my yard to try and talk to me. I told her several times that there was no point, the petition had been filed and I wasn't going to take it back, but she was on her knees begging me to fix this and promising that she would get better somehow. It felt like crap to see her acting so desperate, but my hands were tied. My son was more important to me than her desperation. This went on for a while but ultimately she left, sobbing for a while. like a child and I was relieved to see her go because I don't think I could have handled any more

of that emotionally. She told me that her relationship was now over and she'd be able to devote all her time to being a mother so our son had nothing to worry about but it didn't matter, it was too late. Our son had been feeling neglected for weeks now and she'd made him feel scared enough to not rat her out initially but he cracked when I asked him about how he was treated by his mother. The poor kid had become so good at masking his real emotions that I believe he was excited to go to his mom's house and would be very happy around her because that's how he used to act. I probably should have asked him about it earlier, but I didn't because I used to think it was all good. It wasn't and I'm only realizing that now. If anything,

my ex-wife's hysterical behavior today just made sure that I knew I was doing the right thing because she was acting so insane that I felt awful even though I, a grown adult, had to witness that, let alone the toll that kind of reckless behavior would have on a six-year-old. He was napping at the time, so he didn't see or hear what was going on, and I'm thankful for that because it was hard on me and I wouldn't want to have to explain that to him as well, that would have been a lot harder. Update 3. My ex-wife and I are supposed to meet for mediation tomorrow. It's the one that's court-mandated before this ends up going to court, but I'm still nervous. My son has been living with me ever since.

the altercation with my ex-wife and he says he misses her, but not enough to go back to her, evidently. I've asked him a bunch of times about who he'd rather live with and he keeps telling me so I'm relieved that he's made up his mind and I won't have to go against his will for my sake, because that it'd make me feel a lot more selfish and heartless than I already have been. It's been tough on me. I won't lie because the way my ex-wife had been behaving the last time I saw her has stayed with me. Her friends have also contacted me. Her friends have also contacted me a couple of times to tell me that she's really upset and wants me to take it all back and cancel the custody modification case, but I can't do it. In good conscience, I just can't do

that because I know how she'd been neglecting our son whenever he was there. I know she's very torn up about this, but it's not my fault and this whole guilt trip that she's trying to send me on is not going to work. I've already spoken to my lawyer and he's reassured me several times that we have this in the bag. We have the proof of her at attacking me at the restaurant. We have the note she'd left on her door on the day of the incident intended to mess with me and I have security footage from my cameras where we can clearly make her out shoving my son's belongings towards me aggressively whenever she'd come over to drop our son off. She'd push them towards me with such force that I'd sometimes even end up taking

a couple of steps back so this aggression was not new. This hysteria wasn't new either because even while we were married, there were several instances where she'd go completely out of control and act like she'd be possessed or something while we were fighting. It was terrifying and I don't think the woman has ever been really and truly mentally balanced so this whole joint custody arrangement had been a mistake right from the start. I should have known better and now that I do know better, I'm taking my son out of a toxic environment so that he doesn't feel neglected or scared anymore. Update 4. Hey, I got full custody. My ex-wife still has visitation rights, but they have to be fully supervised so that's okay with me.

My son is happy and I'm probably the happiest I've ever been. These last few weeks were extremely emotionally draining for me and I'm looking forward to nothing more than just unwinding at home for a few days, working from home and spending some time with my son. My parents are also coming over to be there with us and help me out with the chores because I've been really busy for the last couple of weeks and have kind of fallen behind so my mother had been helping me out anyway, but now they're going to be living with us for a few days so they also get to spend time with their grandson.

Things are going well now.