Reddit Stories - Father was banned from the place of WORSHIP for showing APPRECIATION to GOVERNMENT

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #worshipban #governmentappreciation #familydrama #communityconflict #religiousrulesSummary: A father was banned from the place of worship for showing appreciation to the government. This led to family drama, community conflict, and questioning of religious rules.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, worshipban, governmentappreciation, familydrama, communityconflict, religiousrules, father, banned, placeofworship, appreciation, government, conflict, drama, religion, controversy, rulesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Father was banned from the place of worship for showing appreciation to government employees in a similar manner to their acknowledgement of military veterans. Consequently, we decided to depart as the clergyman asserted that civil servants are not worthy of praise comparable to that given to healthcare professionals and military. I'm writing this because of a recent situation that led to my dad being suspended from duties in the church where he resided for over 10 years, and Dad told us, I have two younger brothers during a family meeting last week. We didn't go to church this Sunday because of what happened

too. My parents are leaders in our church, and leaders often do the post-worship announcements about church programs slash upcoming events before the tithe baskets are passed and the pastor speaks. Our church is pretty big with two services, and the incident happened when dad did the announcements last week. Announcements usually follow a pattern of briefing the congregation on events before asking all first-time visitors to stand and receive a brochure while being welcomed by the congregation. If there is anyone visibly wearing a military uniform or someone having alerted the church to the fact that their military relative was home for the week, they ask that person to stand which usually results in a standing ovation. We didn't have anyone from the military

last week, but my dad asked if any federal workers were present to have them stand before saying that God's in control and will never leave them no matter how bleak things seem, and he also thanked them for their service to our country. When Dad explained his motivation at our family meeting, he said he felt God put it on his heart to honor federal workers the same way our church honored medical workers during COVID, once services resumed, by having nurses stand for recognition. He also said he felt led to reassure them that they were appreciated amidst everything. going on in the federal government. However, Dad was talked to by one of the assistant pastors during the week and was told that he shouldn't have done that. My dad disagrees because the main pastor

often talks about letting the Lord dictate the service regardless of pre-made plans, and other leaders have followed that creed. For example, there are days when worship is really powerful, and the pastor will have the band sing a few more songs than originally planned or have an impromptu alter call for something God puts on his heart. There are times when someone gives a prophetic word in tongues, a different language, that are also impromptu, and a leader slash pastor will often elaborate on it afterward. Going back to Dad, he said he's been considering leaving the church for some time and that now was perhaps God's timing. He also said the church has gotten too political in recent years, and he said that that played a part in what happened. The assistant

pastor who informed him of the suspension told him that federal workers shouldn't be honored like nurses or veterans because, unlike them, they can't do their jobs at home via telework and be lazy. He even said that honoring them was disrespectful to veterans slash nurses, and my dad disagrees. Dad said he felt led to honor federal workers because many of them were being wrongfully villainized, but he was suspended from announcements for a few weeks. He also thinks the time is right to leave the church, but he wanted to talk to a us because of the friends we had there, more so my younger brothers. He thinks they should be able to keep their friends similar to kids who have friends from other schools. Personally, I respect him for

being open with us, and Mom agrees that the suspension was uncalled for. Dad is mostly stressed about being a deacon and wanting to step down before his term ends. He also said he's nervous about who to tell beforehand or not, and Mom said that they will work on it. He doesn't want to burn his bridges, but he doesn't know how to go about it. I know I don't have much of anything to contribute to how he steps down aside from supporting him, but I wanted to ask if anyone had any experience with stepping down or any ideas I could suggest. I would appreciate any that are given. Update 1. I really appreciate all of the perspectives given on my first post, and I shared some of them with my parents, including one in particular I'll highlight.

My dad took a few days to pray over what he should do, and he learned something from one commenter who gave insight into something he didn't see. The comment said it could be dangerous for a federal employee to stand up and be identified in that manner as OSPEC, operational security, is taught to federal workers and especially in this current political climate. The comment also suggested the possibility of a crazy person potentially following them into the parking lot or home. Dad said he didn't consider that and thought it was perhaps a reason why he was suspended, although the assistant pastor never mentioned it. He eventually decided on meeting with the senior pastor to discuss the suspension, and we had another family meeting to discuss it shortly afterwards. During the meeting, Dad reiterated much of what the assistant pastor said

and how he disagreed with him saying that federal workers shouldn't be mentioned in the same breath as nurses slash veterans because they can't telework and be lazy. But Dad also mentioned his mistake of potentially pressuring federal workers to stand which could have put them in a very dangerous position and asked if that had anything to do with the suspension. But the pastor told him that it had nothing to do with the suspension and that he signed off on it before the assistant pastor told him. Long story short, he basically reiterated what the youth pastor said about how it's insulting to honor federal workers in the same breath as nurses slash veterans. But when Dad pointed out what another comment informed us how many federal workers were veterans and nurses and firefighters whom our church also honors from time to time, the pastor didn't change his tune. Dad explained how he felt God told him to honor federal workers who were being unfairly villainized, but he didn't see it that way. After Dad told us how it went, Mom said they made the decision to stop attending immediately because she believed that their handling of this was disrespectful.

dad's been in the church for over 10 years, currently serves as a deacon and was once a trustee too. It is also hypocritical how other leaders are allowed to follow the Holy Spirit if God put something on their heart such as imprompt to alter calls or going off on a tangent about something random God wants someone in the congregation to hear, usually a very spot on assessment like someone proclaiming that a nurse in the congregation has a big life decision they're stressed about or something. I told a few commenters that the same senior pastor used to to have a thing about not talking politics and would say that we are to pray for whoever is in office because God can use anyone for his glory. But ever since the current president began

running for re-election, he slowly changed his tune and began promoting him during service. One of the many reasons Dad felt led to leave for a while. The senior pastor has served in our church for over 30 years and his recent change has hurt Mom and Dad to see. At the end of the meeting, Dad said that we take time off from attending church until they decided on some new ones to try. So that's pretty much it, but I wanted to address another thing that people mentioned regarding our church. I mentioned that our church often honors many people, and some said that that was off-putting. I mentioned this to Dad, and he actually agreed that some of it seemed contrived. If a couple has a milestone wedding anniversary coming up,

they'll often tell the church, during the week, and asked to be recognized during service. So a leader will have them stand the same way they ask veterans if we see one in a uniform or their family tells the church that their military relative will be there that Sunday, and the wedding anniversary requests personally sound a bit awkward slash attention-seeking. Regarding veterans, the church once received a complaint from a veteran who didn't wear a uniform to church, but was blindsided when their family called the church during the week to ask him to stand by name to be recognized, and he said that he wouldn't attend anymore as a result because he just wanted to attend in peace. The church does the same for nurses and milestone birthdays, but they didn't stop following the complaint. As a matter of fact, the church continued with the tradition because the senior pastor said that the standing ovations for the veterans often brings up the energy in the service, and he compared it to how SeaWorld opened their one ocean show with a tribute to veterans asking them to stand at the beginning. Dad disagreed and said God doesn't need artificial things to bring up the energy in the service, but the traditions continued nonetheless. That's just one of many things with this church, and Dad thinks now is the right time to leave. I appreciate the perspectives that were given as it really helped us reflect on everything that happened.

Update 2, my parents and I have had some argument since my last post, but I want to address something that was said in numerous DMs. A few people claiming to be Christians said they were happy my father was suspended because he brought politics into the church. Others said a deacon may not have the authority to honor people as he did compared to other leaders. regarding the first point about Dad honoring the federal workers, he said it was important to pray for those who are hurting. He also said that they were wrong to be villainized because Jesus had the heart of a volunteer, and federal workers were public servants. Jesus healed the sick and washed the disciples' feet without charge. Many federal workers could find higher-paying jobs in the private sector, according to Dad, but they chose to commit themselves to their

communities instead. Regarding the second point, other deacons in our church do announcements too. The church has them do it along with other leadership positions so that the congregation can get to know its staff, and other deacons and trustees have honored veterans among others. With that said, my family stopped attending our church for three Sundays before one of the leaders reached out to my dad to see if everything was all right. Dad didn't tell anyone that we stopped going, but he told the leader who called that we were likely not going to return. That's how that call went, but he received another a few days later from a different leader who told him that the church wanted to honor our

family for the years we gave as leaders, and Dad said he'd get back to him. Dad later told Mom and I about it, and he wants us to attend one more time so that they can honor us on stage and leave on a good note to not burn bridges. Personally, I strongly disagree. Dad has served on numerous boards for over ten years, but they suspended him for doing something other deacons did. A deacon once asked police officers to stand during announcements in 2020 following the George Floyd events, claiming that people shouldn't generalize all police officers, and that deacon was less seasoned than him in my opinion. They spit in the face of our family by punishing him for something other deacons did. While I'm usually against ghosting,

I wouldn't blame Dad if he decided to ignore their calls. But he said we should be grateful when people want to honor you. And when I disagreed, he said I should learn for my future work career because you don't want to burn bridges when departing jobs. But this isn't his day job, it's a church he owes nothing to. Respect is owed when it is given, in my opinion, and the church doesn't give him a paycheck. He said I don't have a choice but to attend one final Sunday to leave on good terms. And if worst comes to worst, it's only two hours. But I strongly disagree because, in In my opinion, he's giving more respect than they're giving him. And maybe the church is doing it to save face, who knows?

Maybe I'm just being young and stupid, but I don't think it's worth it to cause a rift over a two-hour final service. I'll likely attend, but I hate everything about it just one more thing. Dad said he thinks God put it on his heart to honor the federal workers so that this would happen and facilitate us leaving the church. He said he should have left years ago when the church ignored complaints from veterans. who didn't want to be honored, and used them as props to bring up the energy in the service as the pastor said. And he ignored a feeling in his gut to leave when the church began getting more political. The church has mentioned Trump from the stage numerous times, but he said he was too afraid to leave a community he resided for over 10 years despite

hating everything Trump stands for. So while we left too late, we can at least leave now update 3, I completely forgot to return to this sooner, but a few messages from individuals wanting to know what happened reminded me. Despite numerous discussions about how I thought returning to the church was a bad idea, they decided to go anyway. I disagreed because we left on our terms, and the church wanted us to leave on theirs. Their disrespect towards my father, with the suspension, shows what little respect they had for his 10 plus years of service. But dad said we shouldn't burn bridges and compared it to not burning bridges when leaving a job. In my opinion, that comparison doesn't work because, unlike a job, the church doesn't give him a paycheck. Unlike a job,

you don't need a reference when going to a new church. But dad said he wanted to leave on good terms in case God opened the door to return someday, and I disagree with that wholeheartedly. If you leave a toxic X or church in this case, you shouldn't leave expecting to return someday if you're unable to find someone better to settle down with. It reeks of insecurity, in my opinion, and I think it's really weak too to my dad's credit. He came around on not forcing me to attend the final Sunday when he'd be honored. I stayed home. And when they returned, Dad didn't want to talk about what happened and said I shouldn't care because I wasn't there. From his tone, I figured he was bothered, and Mom opened up to me about it instead. She said he

wasn't thrilled with the questions he received from friends slash congregation members following the service, and I think that was poor foresight on his part. She said it annoyed him. But regarding the service, the two of them were asked to come on stage for no more than five minutes to be recognized by the church as one of the pastors thanked them for their years of service. It's important to note that my father was told beforehand that he wasn't required to speak during the honoring, so he was never asked to speak during it. The honoring ended with a pastor praying over them, and that was pretty much it. In the month since, my parents have attended a few local churches, but have yet to pick one as their new home. They said I didn't have to join them for their search because, at my age,

I'll likely leave for school in a year or so. So it'd be up to me to find a church for myself. I appreciate them letting me be myself, but I've since debated a lot since we left. One thing that surprised me as a result of making these posts was people saying how crazy I was to mention speaking in tongues so nonchalantly, and honestly, I didn't think twice about it. Our old church was Pentecostal, and they've had people speaking in tongues since I was young. I used to internally question how someone would interpret a tongue with no language, or incomprehensible babble, as someone who messaged me described it, and be able to understand it correctly. Or how many times someone might have intentionally misinterpreted the babble,

to whatever they wanted to say that had nothing to do with W.T.H. God at all. And the more I thought about it after reading many messages, there seemed to be no checks and balances at all. Who regulates when random people yell Babel and then someone always has the correct interpretation moments after? What if two people plan to do it in advance to push a personal agenda disguised as God's word? But worse than that, I don't want to be looked at as if I'm crazy for mentioning tongues in public, which would never come up outside of church. so I'm glad that I got made fun of in DMs instead of real life for something I always thought was normal, however. It's really shaken me of late and made me want to take a break from Christianity

as I prepare for college. I'm angry that something so stupid like tongues could seem perfectly normal if indoctrinated from a young age, and it made me wonder how many other things regarding Christianity I've been wrong about too. Going back to what I said about no checks and balances regarding tongues, it seems to be a microcosm of everything wrong with Christianity and the Christians in our country at the moment. People proclaiming to hear from God, to push personal agenda under the guise of Christianity, and Christians eating it up, the tongue's interpretations often followed by applause in our old church, without any vetting. That screams Christian nationalism to me, a bunch of indoctrinated people who grew up thinking unnormal things were normal,

like tongues, and following blindy without second thought. I don't want to be stupid, so I'm taking a break from Christianity too, hopefully, go to far away college to see life for myself. But I feel, deep down, that I won't return to Christianity ever since the tongues thing because I'm now questioning what else I've been wrongfully believing. So since we're no longer at our old church, I won't post again because that chapter is closed for me, although I fully expect my parents to return someday since dad already talked about it before he left, next story. X lied about having a miscarriage to get my support when she actually got an abortion because the baby wasn't mine, then I found out she gave me chlamydia and never told

me about her STD. I, M21, dated my ex, Paige F-22, all through high school. Our relationship was awful. First year of college, I had a one-night stand and cheated on her. I know I'm an awe, but she wanted to work things out. A year later, I found out she'd been sleeping with one of our mutuals for months and ended things. Obviously it was fair that she cheated, but we just weren't in love. We kept hooking up for a few months after and broke things six months ago. Weeks after we broke things off, Paige hit me up, told me she was pregnant and I was the dad. I didn't want to be with her, so I told her we could co-parent.

She wasn't happy about that, but she didn't really get a choice. Well, a month or so after that, she called me sobbing and told me she miscarried. I was heartbroken, but felt worse for her BC that's an awful thing to go through. I told her I'd help with any medical expenses or finding support groups slash counseling resources, but she got upset at me for not being more supportive and staying with her at her place or calling her more. I have a new partner now and don't really talk to Paige, but some of her friends have texted me saying she hasn't recovered and wants to talk to me and I should help her. I haven't checked in on her in a couple months. I don't expect her to be over the miscarriage at all, but I don't get why she's expecting me to be the one to help her through it. I'm not a professional so I don't think I can help by being in touch with her Ada. Any advice is appreciated too.

Update 1. I wasn't going to update but this got crazy. I have a friend, Anna, who's close with Paige and dating my best friend. Anna got back from study abroad and this was our text, copy and paste it since I can't add picks. Anna, hey, this is really random but did D.D. talk to you about what happened in March. Me? Yeah, she hit me up right away. Why? Anna, I command she told me what happened. I know things are weird W. y'all and I wanted to make sure she actually told you and y'all went to a doctor.

me. Yeah, like while ago did you want me to talk to her? Anna, Ick she wants to talk to you but that's not my business, I'm. This isn't either I just wanted to make sure you were good me. Yeah, all right, welcome back. Thanks for checking. I'm over it now so I'm fine. I assume she meant the miscarriage that Page's other friends texted me to help her through. But I saw Anna in person after this and she asked me if being good meant testing negative or getting treatment. I was confused and she explained what Page told her, which I'm guessing is the truth. Paige told Anna she was sleeping around before and after we broke up and got pregnant. Paige was confident it was not mine and got an abortion.

When getting checked after, in March, she got diagnosed with chlamydia. The only thing I'm mad about is that she didn't tell me she had an STD, I'm honestly over all the other stuff at this point. Also, I want to note that it's super weird that Paige told Anna. Anna both caught me cheating and told Paige and caught Paige cheating and told me. She's a great friend but a total narc. Not my go-to for secrets. Anyway, my partner and I have appointments to get tested because I might have chlamydia for six months.

I'd give I should text page and chew her out I'm so pissed off. Edit to clarify, Anna being a narc isn't a bad thing. We call her a narc to tease her because she can't keep surprises and always spills your secret if it's the right thing to do and we love her for it. She keeps us in check. That's my fault for phrasing it poorly. Update 2. People asked for an update so here I am. This morning my partner and I found out we have chlamydia and got antibiotics.

My partner surprisingly unbothered and has helped me calm down these past few days. I know I said I'd chew out page if I was positive, but now that I've calmed down, I see no point in it. Some told me I could sue her. I'm pretty sure I can't because she didn't know when we hit SEGS, and even if I could, it's my senior year of college, I have other things to focus on. In other news, Anna cut off page and won't tell me why, but she says it has nothing to do with me. I'm kind of glad since Anna was our only real mutual, and Anna, her BF, me, and my partner are renting a place together soon, doing that with my ex's friend might

have been weird. But I'm also honestly really worried about Paige. Anna was her last rational and dependable friend. The other ones who wanted me to help her when she miscarried disappear when things get hard, and Def wanted me to talk to her to get her off their hands. Either way, I won't reach out, especially since my relationship is going really well. I might ask Anna to maybe check in on her but I won't push. Not much else to say. Don't be like me since I had the clap for six months and didn't know. Get tested often and use protection. Edit, I'm trying very hard to stop doing stupid things, and per the advice I've gotten, asking Anna to check on page would go against that goal. So no need to worry, I finally blocked Page and I'm putting this whole thing

to rest.