Reddit Stories - Former spouse began CANCELING my VISITATION rights with FABRICATED reasons, until I stumbled

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #divorce #parenting #family #legalSummary: My former spouse started canceling my visitation rights with fabricated reasons until I discovered the truth.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, divorce, parenting, family, legal, visitationrights, fabricatedreasons, truthdiscovered, former spouse, custodybattle, co-parenting, familylaw, childcustody, deceit, manipulationBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse began canceling my visitation rights with fabricated reasons, until I stumbled upon messages on my child's device where she was instructing him to claim that I am uninterested in spending time with him. So now my son cries and refuses visits because he thinks I abandoned him. Divorced two years ago. Pretty standard custody deal, I get Tyler, eight, every other weekend plus Wednesday evenings. used to be great.

We'd build Legos for hours, have pizza nights, hit the park. Kid was always excited to see me. Would run to the car when I picked him up, already talking about what we were going to build that weekend. Six months ago everything changed. Kelly started canceling constantly. First excuse was Tyler's sick with a stomach bug but her Instagram showed him at some birthday party that same day, running around the bounce house. Next week it was family emergency with her parents, but when I ran into her dad at Home Depot two days later, he mentioned they haven't seen Kelly or Tyler in weeks.

Then important school project due Monday so I called the school directly, teacher said no projects assigned, nothing due. The cancellations got worse, but something else started happening that made my gut drop. When Tyler actually did come over, he was different. Quiet. Distant. wouldn't make eye contact used to chatter non-stop about school friends whatever cartoon he was obsessed with now he'd sit on my couch like he was waiting for permission to exist started making

these weird comments that didn't make sense mom says you don't really want me here anyway ask me why i keep canceling on him i was confused as hell because i wasn't canceling anything she was. I'd show up for pick-up and she'd answer the door with Tyler behind her looking guilty, saying he couldn't come because of whatever excuse she'd invented five minutes earlier. Tyler would peek around her legs like he was scared of disappointing me but also scared of wanting to see me. Kelly would do this fake sympathetic voice, maybe next time, Tyler. Daddy's just really busy lately. I tried to defend myself multiple times but she would threaten me with police. Last month I only saw my son twice out of eight scheduled visits. The two times

he did come over, he spent most of the time staring at his phone or asking when he had to go back. When I suggested building something together, he said, Mom says I'm getting too old for baby toys. This kid who used to spend entire weekends creating Lego cities with detailed backstories for every mini-figure. Now he's actively refusing to come. Cries and clings to Kelly when I show up for pick-up. Not the normal kid tantrum crying, this terrified, desperate sobbing like I'm some stranger trying to kidnap him. I try to explain that I never canceled, that I want to see him, that I love spending time with him. He just shakes his head and says, but Mom said you told her you were too tired for me this weekend. Kelly stands behind him with her

hands on his shoulders, doing this concerned Mom act. I'm just telling him what you told me. Maybe we should skip this weekend if you're not feeling up to it. Meanwhile, I'm standing there like an idiot trying to convince my own kid that I want him around. Called her that night asking what the hell she's been telling him. She went full innocent. I just repeat exactly what you say to me. If Tyler's confused, maybe you should be clearer about your availability. Hung up on me when I started listing all the times I'd shown up and she'd turned me away with some bullshit excuse.

I'm losing my kid and I don't know how to stop it. Every time I try to talk to him about the fun stuff we used to do, he gets this blank look like he doesn't remember or isn't allowed to remember. Every time I see him pulling away from me. I love this kid more than anything and she's systematically poisoning him against me. What the hell do I do here? How do I prove to an eight-year-old that his mom is lying when she's the person he trusts most? How do I compete with someone who has him 90% of the time and apparently spends that time convincing him I don't want him?

Update 1, took Reddit's advice and started documenting everything. Screenshots of every text were Kelly cancelled. Call logs showing me trying to reach her. Photos of me sitting in my car outside her house after she wouldn't answer the door. Put a security camera at my front door to record the few times I actually got to do pickup and drop off. reached out to Tyler's school counselor and his pediatrician. Asked them to document anything Tyler said about our visits or about being sick on days Kelly claimed he couldn't come over. Found some disturbing shit that made everything click into place.

Tyler left his tablet, we had given him a phone and a tablet to make the changing of house easier, at my place after one rare visit. Kid was always careful to take everything back to moms, but he forgot it under the couch cushions. When I plugged it into charge, messages started popping up from Kelly. Actual coaching messages. Remember, Daddy doesn't want to see you, that's why I had to pick you up early last time. If Daddy really cared, he wouldn't keep making excuses not to see you. Daddy has a new girlfriend now, so he doesn't need us anymore. There were dozens of these messages going back months.

Some sent right before my scheduled pickups. Other messages were her asking him to repeat back what she'd taught him. What are you going to tell Daddy if he asks why you don't want to come over? Tyler's responses were exactly the weird comments he'd been making to me. Word for word. School records showed Tyler had been telling his teacher stuff like my dad is too busy for me and my dad doesn't really want to see me anymore. The school counselor said she'd noticed Tyler seemed sad when other kids talked about weekend plans with their dads.

She tried to ask him about it, but he'd just shrug and say my dad has other stuff to do. His pediatrician confirmed he hasn't been legitimately sick on any of the days Kelly claimed he couldn't come for visits. Not once in six months. The doctor said Kelly had called a few times asking for documentation that Tyler was too ill for visits, but he'd refused because the kid was perfectly healthy. My lawyer said we had enough evidence for an emergency contempt motion. filed it with all the documentation, asking for make-up time, family counseling, and sanctions

against Kelly for violating the custody order. Thought we had a solid case. That's when Kelly completely lost her shit and went nuclear. She told Tyler I was trying to take him away for Mommy forever and that Daddy is taking Mommy to court because he hates our family. Kids started having full panic attacks just at the mention of visiting me. Hyperventilating, crying so hard he couldn't breathe. Started wetting the bed again, something he hadn't done since he was five years old. Tyler called me one night, sobbing so hard I could barely understand him. Daddy, please don't take me away from mommy.

I'll be good, I promise I'll visit you. Just don't make the judge take me away. Had to explain to an eight-year-old that I wasn't trying to take him from his mom, just wanted to see him regularly like the court already said I could. He didn't believe me. Court ordered supervised visits while they investigated the contempt allegations. Most humiliating experience of my life, sitting in some sterile room at the family services building with a stranger taking notes on every interaction with my own son.

Tyler barely spoke during those visits. Sat across the table for me like I was on trial, kept asking the supervisor when he could go home to mom. Built a few Legos during one visit but Tyler kept glas. at the supervisor like he was doing something wrong. Asked if building toys meant he was betraying mommy, had to explain that playing with your dad isn't betraying anyone, but the damage was already done.

The supervisor noted Tyler's extreme anxiety and resistance to father-child bonding in her weekly reports. Also noted that Tyler seemed coached in his responses and fearful of expressing positive feelings toward father. But the report still read like I was the problem, like my kid was naturally afraid of me. Kelly played the victim card perfectly. Showed up to court looking exhausted and worried,

talking about how I was traumatizing Tyler with all these legal battles and Tyler just wants peace in his family. Her lawyer painted me as an obsessive ex-husband using the courts to harass my ex-wife. Even my own family started questioning whether I was handling this right. My mom pulled me aside after dinner and suggested maybe I should back off for now, let things settle down, said Tyler seemed really stressed when she'd seen him at Kelly's parents' house. They were friends before I even met Kelly. My dad agreed, said sometimes

pushing too hard makes things worse. But there was one moment during a supervised visit that kept me going. Tyler forgot to be guarded for about 20 minutes and we started building this Lego castle together, just like old times. He got excited about the drawbridge mechanism, started explaining this whole backstory about the knights who lived there. For those 20 minutes, he was my kid again. Then he seemed to remember where he was and who was watching. Pushed the castle away and whispered, I missed building with you, Daddy before going quiet and asking if the visit was almost over.

Kelly escalated her interference game. Started claiming Tyler was seeing a therapist for trauma from the custody battle but wouldn't tell me who the therapist was or provide any contact information. said it was confidential and I didn't have a right to know. My lawyer said that was bullshit, I had every right to know about my kids' medical care. She also started threatening to move across state lines for Tyler's mental health. Said the toxic environment in our town was making Tyler's anxiety worse and she needed to take him somewhere safe. Her sister lived in Colorado and apparently had offered them a place to stay.

My lawyer warned me this could drag on for months or years. said parental alienation cases are notoriously difficult because the alienating parent gets good at appearing reasonable in court while systematically destroying the relationship behind the scenes. The court system moves slowly and kids' loyalties can be completely shifted in that time. Meanwhile, I was burning through my savings on legal fees and supervised visitation costs. My relationship with my girlfriend started showing strain from the constant drama and emotional stress. She tried to be supportive but admitted she didn't understand why I couldn't just be firmer with Tyler or why I was letting Kelly walk all over me. I don't know if I can handle years of this.

My kid thinks I abandoned him, thinks I don't love him, thinks I'm trying to hurt his mom. And there's nothing I can say or do to convince him otherwise because the person he trusts most in the world is feeding him poison every single day. Update 2, Court finally appointed a child psychologist to do a comprehensive evaluation of our family situation. Took three months of legal back and forth before that happened. Kelly fought the appointment, claiming Tyler was too fragile for psychological evaluation and that it would re-traumatize him. The psychologist has been working with Tyler for eight weeks now and the stuff she's uncovered is absolutely insane. Kid admitted during their third session that he has to say, Daddy doesn't want me, but he's genuinely confused about what's actually true anymore. Been living with contradictory messages for so long that he can't trust his own memories or feelings.

The psychologist used play therapy techniques to get past Tyler's defenses, had him draw pictures of his family, play with dollhouses, tell stories about the toy figures. During one session, Tyler drew a picture of three people, him in the middle, me and he and he, and Kelly on opposite sides pulling his arms. When the psychologist asked how the little boy in the picture felt, Tyler said scared and like he's going to break. Another drawing showed Tyler standing outside two houses, one dark and scary, one bright and happy. When asked which house was which, Tyler pointed to the bright one and whispered that's Daddy's house, but I'm not allowed to like it, said he was scared if I like Daddy's house. Mommy will be alone forever and it'll be my fault. The psychologist identified Kelly's specific manipulation tactics in her preliminary

report. She's been using textbook emotional blackmail, telling Tyler that if he enjoys time with me, Mommy will be sad and alone. Creating false loyalty binds, you can only love one parent, so who do you choose? Gaslighting him about his own experiences, convincing Tyler that his good memories with me never happened or were somehow wrong. Most fucked up was the victim playing Kelly's been doing. Telling Tyler that Daddy is trying to hurt our family and Daddy wants to take you away so Mommy will be sad. Making an eight-year-old feel responsible for protecting his mom from his own father.

But Tyler isn't just parroting Kelly's lies anymore. The constant emotional manipulation has genuinely traumatized him. He's developed what the psychologist called loyalty conflict anxiety. He actually believes he's protecting his mom by rejecting me, and he's terrified that loving both parents will somehow hurt one of us. Has nightmares about Kelly and me fighting over him like a toy. Wakes up crying from dreams where he has to choose which parent lives in which one dies. Told the psychologist he wishes he could just disappear so Mommy and Daddy wouldn't fight anymore.

Shows real signs of generalized anxiety disorder now, nail-biting, sleep problems, stomach aches before any mention of custody stuff. kid who used to be outgoing and confident is now anxious about everything, constantly seeking adult approval and afraid of making anyone upset. Kelly found out I was documenting everything and shifted her strategy. Instead of obvious lies that could be caught, she started focusing on subtle emotional manipulation that's harder to prove in court. Enrolled Tyler in baseball, guitar lessons, and art class, all scheduled during my custody time. When I abjured, She said Tyler asked for these activities.

Don't you want him to pursue his interests? Tyler confirmed to the psychologist that he never asked for any of those activities. Said Mommy told him Daddy won't mind if you miss visits for important things and Daddy will be proud that you're learning new skills instead of just playing with toys. Court finally found clear evidence of parental alienation based on the psychologist's initial report. ordered reunification therapy with a specialist who works specifically with alienated families. Also ordered Kelly to attend co-parenting classes and individual counseling to address her boundary issues and inability to support the father-child relationship. But Kelly's a master at following the

letter of court orders while completely violating the spirit. She shows up to co-parenting class and sits in the back row, arms crossed, rolling her eyes at everything the instructor says. Tells other parents during breaks that she's only there because my ex is vindictive and dragged me to court. Her individual therapist apparently bought into Kelly's victim narrative completely. Kelly shows me texts from her therapist saying things like you're doing great protecting Tyler from a toxic situation and trust your maternal instincts about what's best for your son. Turns out this therapist specializes in helping mothers navigate difficult custody battles and has a reputation for always siding with moms.

Tyler still cries before visits with me, but now it's different crying. Less tantruming, more resigned sadness. Like he's grieving something he can't name. Reunification therapy is helping slowly, but Tyler's resistance runs deep after months of systematic brainwashing. The depression hit me hard around month six of this nightmare. Waking up every day knowing my kid thinks I don't love him was destroying me from the inside. started therapy myself with a therapist who specializes in parents dealing with alienation. She warned me that this process commonly takes one to three years and many fathers give up before seeing results.

My relationship with my girlfriend finally cracked under the pressure. She'd been patient for months but admitted she couldn't handle watching me obsess over Tyler and Kelly, said she felt like she was dating someone who was still married to his ex-wife. We broke up two weeks ago. Can't blame her, I haven't been good company lately. Financial situation got dire. Legal fees, therapy costs, supervised visitation payments. I've blown through my savings and had to take out a loan against my 401k.

But Tyler's school counselor reached out after noticing Tyler seemed withdrawn and anxious at school. During their conversations, Tyler had mentioned missing daddy but then immediately looked guilty for saying it. The counselor started documenting these moments for the court record. Had a major breakthrough three weeks ago during one of my supervised visits. Tyler was building a Lego spaceship, being careful not to seem too enthusiastic about it. Out of nowhere, he looked up and asked Daddy, did you really not want to see me all those times Mommy said you cancelled? I told him honestly about the lies, about how I'd shown up for every single pickup and been turned away, even that during some pickups you were there but ushered inside.

died. But why would Mommy lie about that? He asked. I tried to explain in age-appropriate terms that sometimes adults make mistakes when they're hurt or angry, and that his mom was probably scared of losing him but went about it the wrong way. Tyler seemed to understand but also looked terrified, like understanding meant he was betraying his mom.

Of course Kelly found out about our conversation. Tyler came to the next visit upset and confused again. Mommy says you told me lies about her and that's why she's crying all the time now. Kelly had spent the entire week after our talk crying dramatically in front of Tyler, saying Daddy told you bad things about Mommy and now our family is broken. Some progress happening in reunification therapy though. The specialist has Tyler doing exercises to separate his own feelings from what he thinks he should feel. Last session, Tyler admitted he actually liked building Legos with me but felt bad.

and guilty for liking it. The therapist is helping him understand that loving both parents doesn't make him disloyal to either one. Tyler's visits are happening more regularly now without the dramatic tears, but he stays emotionally distant. Like he's protecting himself from getting attached again in case I leave him like he's been told I did before. Progress is slow as hell and Kelly fights every single inch, but at least my kid doesn't look at me like I'm a monster anymore. Update 3. It's been nine months since my last update and holy shit, what a ride. Tyler's been in reunification therapy this whole time and the progress has been slow. Kids gradually admitting that he was pretending not to like Daddy Time because Kelly gets visibly

upset whenever he shows enthusiasm about our visits. The therapist uses this technique where she is Tyler Raid his actual feelings versus his safe feelings. Like, how much did you actually enjoy building that Lego set with Dad versus how much are you allowed to enjoy it. Tyler's been discovering there's a huge gap between what he genuinely feels and what he thinks he's supposed to feel. Last month, Tyler said something that broke my heart and gave me hope at the same time. I think I was confused about some things Mommy told me. Like, I do remember having fun with you before, but Mommy said those memories were fake. Kids been gaslighted so thoroughly that he stopped trusting his own experiences. The child psychologist submitted her comprehensive psychological

evaluation to the court in January. 127 pages of detailed analysis documenting clear parental alienation syndrome. She interviewed Tyler, me, Kelly, reviewed school records, talked to Tyler's teachers and pediatrician. Her findings were damning. Reports stated that Kelly had engaged in systematic and deliberate alienation behaviors designed to damage the father-child relationship. Listed specific examples, coaching Tyler with false narratives, emotional blackmail, creating loyalty conflicts, interfering with visitation, making false allegations. The psychologist recommended that I be granted primary custody with therapeutic support to repair the damaged relationship.

Kelly found out about the psychologist's recommendations and completely lost her shit. like full psychotic break territory started making increasingly desperate and dangerous allegations first claimed i had been inappropriate with tyler during unsupervised visits before the custody case started cps investigated within a week interviewed tyler extensively did medical exams talked to anyone who'd been around us completely unfounded case closed but kelly wasn't done, filed a second CPS report claiming I was neglecting Tyler at my house, not feeding him properly, leaving him alone, keeping the house in dangerous conditions. Again, investigated and dismissed. CPS worker was actually annoyed by the second report, noted in her file that

the allegations appeared vindictive and without merit. The CPS investigations were absolute hell, though. They suspended all my visitation for six weeks while they looked into Kelly's claims. Tyler was interviewed multiple times by different social workers, medical professionals, forensic specialists. Kid was confused and scared, kept asking why strangers were asking him weird questions. During one of the CPS interviews, Tyler had what can only be described as a complete psychological breakdown. Started crying hysterically and blurted out, I loved Daddy but I'm scared Mommy will leave me if I say that. Mommy said if I tell people I like going to Daddy's house, she might have to go away forever and then I won't have any mommy. Emergency custody

hearing was scheduled for February 15. Kelly showed up with a new lawyer, some hotshot family attorney who specializes in protecting mothers from fathers. But the judge had read the psychologist's report and the CPS investigator's findings. Kelly's new lawyer tried to argue that I had manipulated the evaluation process and that Tyler's statements were coached by me. The judge wasn't buying it. Granted me temporary primary custody effective immediately. Kelly would get supervised visits twice a week pending her completion of extensive individual therapy and a parental alienation education program.

Kelly screamed at me in the courthouse hallway that I had stolen her son and she'd never forgive me. Getting Tyler back full time has been intense as hell. First week he tested every single boundary I set, like he was waiting for me to prove I didn't actually want him around. Ask me probably 50 times are you going to get tired of me and send me back to Mommy? Kid had been conditioned to expect rejection from me. Some days Tyler wants to call Kelly constantly, other days he's afraid to even mention her name because he thinks it makes me mad. We're slowly rediscovering what Tyler actually enjoys versus what he was told he should enjoy.

Turns out he genuinely loves building complex Lego sets, but Kelly had convinced him it was baby stuff that he should outgrow. We've built an entire city on his bedroom floor over the past two months. Kids' creativity and enthusiasm are slowly returning. Kelly's response to losing primary custody has been predictably unhinged. She calls Tyler's cell phone constantly during my custody time, claiming she's just checking that he's okay. shows up uninvited at his school, school had to get a restraining order to keep her from disrupting Tyler's classes. Sends Tyler guilt-tripping text messages like Mommy misses you so much I cry every night and I don't know why Daddy won't let you come home where you belong. Tyler shows me these

messages looking confused and upset. We've had to block her number on his phone and route all communication through a co-parenting app monitored by the court. Last week Kelly violated the custody order by picking Tyler up from his after-school program without permission, told the staff there was a family emergency and she needed to get Tyler immediately. School called me while Kelly was driving away with Tyler. Had to call the police to get my kid back. Tyler came home that evening completely distraught. Kelly had spent those three hours telling him that I had tricked the judge into taking him away from her and that she might have to go away forever because of what I did to their family. Kid was sobbing, begging me not to send Mommy to jail for picking him up from

school. The supervised visitation supervisor reports that Kelly continues trying to manipulate Tyler during their twice weekly sessions. She'll say things like I hope Daddy is being nice to you in this martyed tone that implies I'm not. Or she'll ask loaded questions like do you miss living with mommy? Right in front of the supervisor. Kelly filed an appeal of the custody decision in March. Her new legal strategy is claiming that the psychologist's evaluation was biased and that the court relied on junk science about parental alienation. Her lawyer's argument is that Tyler's resistance to visiting me was genuine and based on real concerns, not manipulation.

She's also claiming that I orchestrated the whole situation by being an uninvolved father during the marriage and then suddenly demanding custody out of spite. Complete bullshit, I was actively involved in Tyler's care from day one and the custody arrangement was mutual agreement, not court ordered initially. Appeal process could drag on for months, but my lawyer is confident will prevail. We have too much documented evidence of Kelly's alienation behaviors and Tyler's improvement since living with me primarily. Kids' anxiety has decreased significantly, he's sleeping through the night again, stopped

wetting the bed completely. Tyler fell asleep on my shoulder last night while we were watching a movie, something that hasn't happened since before Kelly started. started her alienation thing. Kid felt safe enough to fully relax with me for the first time in over a year. These small moments of normal father-son connection are what keep me going through the ongoing legal battles and Kelly's continued interference. The appeal hearing is scheduled for June. Whatever happens, at least Tyler knows now that I never stopped wanting him around, never stopped fighting for him, and never stopped loving him. That's something

Kelly can never take away from us again.