Reddit Stories - From childfree to craving motherhood a wife's unexpected demand turns marriage upside down

Episode Date: May 31, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #marriageproblems #childfree #cravingmotherhood #unexpecteddemand #relationshipadviceSummary: A wife's sudden desire for motherhood, despite being childfree, causes turmoil in her marriage. The unexpected demand challenges their relationship and forces them to confront their differing views on parenthood.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, marriage, childfree, motherhood, wife, demand, relationship, parenthood, turmoil, challenges, views, marriageproblems, unexpected, confront, differing, upsidedownBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse mentioned being content without children, but now desires a child of her own and suggests I should have wed the person who attacked me to start a family for our son. Real mom. Six years ago I, 28M, got drunk at a friend's wedding and a woman, Anna 39F, whom I had rejected multiple times throughout the night, ended up forcing herself on me while I was nearly passed out. It was a whole mess and I fell into a deep depression. Things got worse when Anna showed up at my door after a few weeks saying she was pregnant.

I begged her to have an abortion and leave me alone, but my dad and stepmother welcomed her into our house like nothing had happened. I never wanted to have kids so when this happened I was clear with Anna that I didn't want anything to do with her, but I'd pay child support. I also cut contact with my dad for supporting her. After a few months, my son was born and Anna just disappeared. Nobody knew where she went or they didn't want to tell me. My dad also refused to help because I had cut him off so I was on my own.

To be honest, I fell in love with my baby right away. Seeing him fight to survive and then holding him in my arms was the happiest moment of my life. And while it was hard, I made it work just the two of us. Then, three years ago, I met my wife Claire, 26F. We dated for one year and have been married for her. too. Even when we were just dating she was always perfect and she adored my son Archie, 5M now. She would play with him and read him stories and never said anything bad about him. She knew what had happened but she was so loving and understanding and I thought I had won the lottery

by meeting her. The same happened when I met Claire's family. Everyone was so welcoming and they loved Archie so much. They offered to babysit him and even took him on vacation so Claire and I could have a weekend to ourselves. A few weeks ago I told Claire that I wanted to have a vasectomy so we could have a better sex life. She asked me if I was really sure and when I said yes, she got very quiet and changed the subject. Now, even before we got married, I was very clear that I didn't want any more children. At the time she said she was fine with that because we already had Archie. I knew she was upset so I brought it up constantly until she finally admitted that she was hoping I'd change my mind so we could have another child.

Claire said she understood why I didn't want kids in the first place due to my childhood, but that I had become a perfect dad to Archie, and I'd be a perfect dad for our second child too. She also said she had asked him if he wanted a little brother or sister, and he had been very excited about it. I got upset when she said this and accused her of trying to manipulate my son, so we ended up having a big fight about it. The next day she apologized, but she still wanted me to think it over. She said she'd support me no matter what I decided but that this was important to her. I told her that I was hurt because she had never mentioned this before and she just said that she was allowed to change her mind. Finally, she told me that we should talk with her

parents so I could hear from them before making a decision. I admit I freaked out because I didn't want to discuss my sex life with my in-laws, but she assured me that she had just told them because they were close and she was looking for advice on how to bring it up to me. Anyway, last night we had dinner with her parents. We visit them every other Thursday since that's my Phil's day off, and it was a disaster. I explained how I'd never wanted kids until Archie was born and how even then he was the exception. For their part, they told me how much Claire wanted to have a child of her own and how this could

be good for all of us. Where things got messy was when they said they wanted to have their first grandchild. I told them that Claire and I had been talking about her adopting Archie and my Mill said, but he still wouldn't be my real grandson. They also said how they loved my son, but they couldn't love him like a real family member because they were not related by blood. Finally, my wife said she was having second thoughts about the adoption because Archie already had a mom and she didn't think she'd be able to bond with him like a real mother, so that's

also why she wanted to have a child of her own. I was devastated but I didn't want to make a scene in front of my in-laws so I just told them I'd think about it and to give me some time. So now I'm sitting at home thinking that I don't really know Claire. I didn't know she felt this way about my son and wondering if she had been pretending all this time. If we have another kid, I believe she and her family will just ignore Archie in favor of their real grandchild. And if we don't have another child, I fear she will just resent us or even become abusive towards my child. son. But at the same time, I don't want to throw away an otherwise perfect relationship and I really love Claire. Would I be the awe if I divorce my wife over this? I don't know if I'm

overreacting or if this relationship can be saved. Any advice would also be welcome since I don't have anyone else I can talk to right now. Edit, thanks everyone for the comments. I haven't been able to reply to everyone, but I'd like to answer some questions. One. Did I? Did I? I talked to my wife about not having children before we got married? Yes, we had the discussion at least three times and she always mentioned she was okay with it. Two, do I treat her like a nanny or there is money involved? No. I earn more than she does, but she still has a good job. She does work from home but Archie is still in daycare because I want him to socialize with other children and I didn't want her work to be affected by having to look after a toddler all the time.

3. Will I get therapy? I've had a therapist for four years now. Archie is also in therapy. Four, why didn't I have a vasectomy years ago? I got no excuses here. I'm just an idiot. Five, why did I get married after only one year of dating? We were both in love and rushed into things. I'm also an idiot for this, apparently. Six, did I get a DNA test? WTF? I didn't get a paternity test right away when he was born because I didn't care. I had already put my name on his birth certificate and after Anna left I just wanted to take care of him. I did eventually get a paternity test done, spoiler alert, he is mine, but it was mostly for legal purposes since I wanted to take him out of the country for a job opportunity.

7. What happened to Anna? Who knows? I never heard from her after she left, My dad said he didn't know anything, and my friends from the wedding said they didn't know where she went either. Eight, did I report Anna? I tried. Unfortunately, I grew up in a country with some outdated ideas and I wasn't taken seriously by the police. Finally, I know that my in-laws were biased and that they would take Claire's side.

I knew that when I agreed to have dinner with them, but I genuinely wanted to know if there was something Claire wasn't telling me. I was, and still am, confused. and full of doubts about the whole kid's thing, so I wanted to understand where she was coming from and what she was feeling. I just never imagined they felt the way they did about my son. Comments where the op has replied, sure Sands Moors, if a post involves a step-mong, assume the absolute worst and tear her to shreds. Seriously. In her heart, she doesn't see Archie as her son and doesn't feel fulfilled as a mother, but she and her family have loved

and treated Archie well enough that Op didn't notice. Unless he's completely oblivious to the world around him. She's not abusing Archie or doing anything crazy. It's kind of super fucking natural and normal to want to create your own child, L.O.L. Boop. You could be right that I missed something and I've been trying to think back in case I've missed any signs, but I can't think of anything. When we moved and together she wanted to pull Archie out of daycare saying she could look after him.

She works from home. Even though that didn't happen, she still picks him up every day after her own work is finished and she spends a couple hours with him until I get home. As for her family, I wasn't kidding when I said they were the ones offering to babysit Archie. Another example is that when we invited the in-laws to dinner at our house, my bill would basically ignore everyone and would just play or watch movies with Archie. That's why I'm also confused about this. I literally didn't see it coming.

Update, August 10th, 2024. I appreciate everyone who took the time to read my previous post and commented with their advice. I was happy to see so many people sharing their own experiences as step-parents or stepchildren and those who tried to put themselves in my wife's shoes. It gave me a new perspective and that helped a lot. I also saw some people asking for an update, so here it is. Since Archie plays football every Saturday, I asked a friend of U.S. whose son is also on the team, if she could look after Archie for a while.

I wanted to have this conversation with Claire without my son present in case we started arguing again, so we just headed home to Tall after the game ended. I know a lot of people said I should just divorce my wife both to protect my son and to let her move on, but please don't be mad at me. When we sat down to talk I wasn't ready to give up on my marriage just yet. At that moment I was willing to compromise with Claire about a second child as long as we got couples therapy to address her and her family's feelings towards Archie. Even after the initial fight, when I said I wanted a vasectomy, I was mostly confused about what to

do since I just wanted my family to be happy. Anyway, I started by asking her to explain why and when she had changed her mind. Claire started to apologize right away and she told me that she had always dreamed of having a big family. She said that she tried to convince herself that she could accept not having children because she really loved me and she also loved Archie. She admitted to lying when I had asked her about it because she didn't want to break up and she felt I was giving her an ultimatum of either choosing having kids or choosing me. I never intended it to be one. I just didn't think it was fair for any of us to be in a relationship if our goals didn't align. She also admitted that she had always been hoping I would change my mind once I saw what an excellent mom she was to

Archie. What surprised me the most is that apparently my Mill tried to convince her not to get married because it wasn't fair of her to expect me to change. Claire also told me it was Mill's idea to babysit Archie and do all those things together so my wife could bond with him and get used to the idea that he may end up being our only child. When I asked her why her mom had made the comments about blood being important, Claire said she had asked her parents to say that to convince me why it was important for her to have her own kids. I told her how hurt I had been by what they said and also when she told me she had changed her mind about the adoption. Claire said she was just scared that one day Archie would want to reconnect with his birth

mother and that he wouldn't love her anymore. Apparently she had been reading a lot of stories from other step-parents who had been cast aside, especially when the birth parents showed up again or if there was a divorce involved. Her anxiety got worse around a year ago. According to Claire, she had always introduced herself as Archie's stepmom when she picked him up from the daycare because she didn't want to take Anna's place. I lost my patience and reminded her that Anna had abandoned us so there was no place to take. At this point we started arguing and going in circles. She accused me of not understanding how hard it is to be a step-parent and I told her she was fighting against windmills. After we calmed down a bit, she told me she got even more scared of being replaced when Archie started asking about his mom.

mom. She also felt guilty because she was sure he only asked because she kept correcting everyone about the whole mother-slash-stepmother thing. She also said I made it worse because I didn't tell him the truth about Anna and tried to sugarcoat things by telling him that his mom felt guilty because he had been born very sick and she didn't want to see him suffer. Honestly, I just didn't know what to tell him because I didn't want him to feel sad about being abandoned. Claire accused me of still caring about Anna, WTF, and that's why I didn't want to paint her in a bad light. When I told her I just panicked and made up a lie in that moment, she said I should have just refused to answer and take Archie to a therapist, we did get him one the same month.

That's when Claire said I should have tried to find Anna so we could have split custody and Archie could be with his real mom. I admit I lost it and started yelling at her that Anna was just a horrible person and that if it were up to me she'd never see Archie. She had essayed me, she had tried to manipulate me when she got pregnant, she had abandoned my son right after he was born and, after all these years, she had never bothered to reach out. Claire yelled back saying I couldn't understand what a woman goes through and that maybe she left because of PPD and that I made it worse by just giving up and moving to another country where Anna couldn't find me. I said that wasn't the reason why we left and she knew it. I also told her how everyone

who knew me back home had non-contact information on my address so it's not like I was hiding. What finally broke me is that she said it was my fault that Anna left because I refused to step up and do the right thing by marrying Anna. She tried to apologize right away and said she didn't mean it, but I just told her to leave and that I wanted a divorce. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I just locked myself in Archie's room and started to cry like a baby until she left. She just packed some stuff and later sent me a text saying she'd be safe. staying with her parents. The rest of the day was a blur. I went to pick up my son and briefly told my friend I was getting a divorce. She and her wife hugged me and told me they would support

us in any way they could, especially if I needed someone to look after Archie. I spent the rest of the day with him and we decided to have a Piamata, just the two of us. We ordered pizza, played with his new toys and watched some movies until he fell asleep. Since I can't sleep, I thought I'd write this update to vent or something. I feel like my life just imploded and I'm so heartbroken. I don't even know how Archie is going to take it so that's also going to be hard. Anyway, I guess this is my final update since there's nothing else to say. Thank you again for all the advice.

Comments where the op has replied, sub-screen, write call. You gave her one more chance than many of us would and she blew it in the most clear-cut and worst way possible. I cannot imagine someone who promised to be your lifelong partner taking your rapists, a lifelong strangers, sighed over yours. Don't feel bad about divorce. You are doing the right thing not just for yourself, but for your son. That woman wanted to invite the rapist who abandoned him back into his life so she could crush his heart again.

By the way, I hope you have Slash will go after Anna for child support. Mental Woodpecker 300, Stan Strongop, she has made it clear that. that Archie would be treated differently. Even after trying to backpedal about the blood ties and doubts about adoption, she still brought up how Archie should be with his mother at least part-time, and that you should have tried harder to keep her around to be Archie's mom. She's saying she wants her own child. And her saying you should have stepped up and married the woman that assaulted you?

That's just vile. S.A. is still exactly that regardless of what gender the victim is, You aren't any less of a man for not just getting over it and marrying your assailant. If anything, I commend you for standing strong both for yourself and for your son. Protect your son since she has been manipulating him about a sibling. God knows what else she might have been saying to him. This is not someone you want around your son. Next story.

Future mother-in-law insisted I wear her 50-year-old wedding dress. When I refused, my fiancé took her side, and then slapsed. me. My 26F and my fiancé 27M got engaged in February 24. We are planning our wedding to be in March next year on the day of when we first met. We began planning the wedding May 24. The theme is light blue and white. It's important to know that my fiancé is an only child. A couple weeks ago I was shopping for wedding dresses with my mom and sister when I found this lovely dress and it needed only a little bit of tailoring to fit me. When I sent photos to my fiancé, he thought it was beautiful too.

Now here's the problem my future Mill was over and when my fiancé showed her the dress she immediately called me, I ignored her as I was still with my mom and sister. When I got back to Mai and my fiancé's house my future Mill was waiting for me. When I walked through the door she immediately got up from the couch and accused me of lying, claiming I had promised to wear her dress. I never had. This was such an out-of-the-blue thing for my future mill as we normally get on really well. I told her I had never promised her anything. She then yelled at me calling me a liar and that I didn't deserve to get married to my fiancé.

I was so taken aback by that I just walked away. I have done so much to make sure this woman likes me and now she doesn't because I don't want to wear her wedding dress that went out of style 50 years ago. Once I had stormed off to my room, my fiancé joined once he had sent his mother back to her house. He asked what had happened and I explained my side of the story, about how I was just suddenly accused of all these lies, lies I never said. He then explained his mom's side of things, which were that apparently when I first started dating my fiancé my future mill had shown her wedding dress and I had said I would love to get married

in that. I started dating my fiancé five years ago. I honestly don't ever remember saying that, but it was so long ago I might have, but I don't think so as the dress isn't the prettiest. The next day I woke up with messages from my future mill saying that I'm such a liar and that my fiancé shouldn't marry a liar. I'm going to be honest I teared up as I read those messages because I tired so hard to be liked by her, and I thought I was. I told my fiancé about the messages and he said that she's probably just hurt that I don't want to wear her dress. But it's my wedding why can't I wear what I want? Please tell me your opinions update one.

Hi, I'm not sure how to start this, but I sat my fiancé down and talked to him about my fmeal. When he finally gave me the time to actually talk. I mentioned how I wanted to wear my own dress to my wedding and he once again brought up how it was also for our parents. WTF? I explained calmly that it was a union of us, not our parents and unless his mom wanted to pay for our entire wedding, it was our wedding. Then I said how he found the dress I originally wanted beautiful and he only changed his mind when his mom raised the issue. He said he only said it was beautiful because that's what I would have wanted to hear and he found it ugly. I didn't react to the last comment and instead I brought up how I could wear something else of his moms

and he completely shut down that idea saying his mom offered the dress and I couldn't take something from her if she didn't offer it and that I should be grateful she offered her dress. I admit I was angry at this and replied with am I marrying you or your mother? When I asked him this he yelled at me saying that what his mom was asking wasn't a big deal and that I was blowing this out of proportion. After he said I was making a big deal out of my wedding dress I stormed out and called my mom explaining the whole situation. When I went back downstairs he was gone and he texted me explaining he's going to be staying

with his mom until I come to my senses. I'm now rethinking my whole relationship as I can't marry him if I'm also marrying his mother. And I'm not going to be one of those people talking about my horrible mill, even though I sort of am. Comments where the op has replied, commenter, NTA honestly, I don't understand why women think the dress is worth saving. Most younger women have no intention of using their mother's old dress so why do they think their daughter will use theirs? I get it was traditional to pass it down in the family, but that was when they were all made by the family and making a new fancy one was a big deal. Oop, it wasn't made by a family member, it's purely just her dress.

No sentimental value besides being her dress. My fiancé says it's up to me but he'd like it if I wore her dress. Commenter, you have a fiancé problem more than a mill problem. He should have your back. Does he always take her side? Oop, nothing like this has happened before, my mill and I got along quite well before this. Now I'm not sure we could ever get along again commenter. Oh, come on. Your Mill sounds irrational, manipulative and controlling. If she's like this before you get married,

best of luck to you after the wedding. She's not likely to change and your fiancé seems like a mommy's boy. NTA, but have a real good think about your future. Is it possible that Mill has been hiding her true self all this time? Because people don't tend to be become so manipulative overnight. Oop, this whole thing has changed my opinion on her. I just don't understand how it all happened that is possible. But we haven't had any conflicts like this so maybe she wasn't hiding. She was just never given the opportunity to show her true self.

Update 2, August 29th, 2024. Thank you all for the comments, I appreciate it so much. I talked to my mom and she said that my fiancé is acting weird and immature. Yesterday my fiancé's mom called me explaining that we need to talk, and I agreed. She stared of saying how I was going back on a promise, and she was hurt by that. I never got the chance to defend myself before she said she is willing to move past it, if I wear her dress. I completely shut down that idea and expressed how it was my day and I want to wear what I want.

I then offered that I could wear something else of hers if she wants that. She didn't, she wants me to wear her dress. I tried again to explain how I was uncomfortable wearing her dress and I never promised to wear it and it might have been one of my fiancé's ex-girlfriends. She, however, didn't take this and blew up at me through the phone calling me a liar, unworthy, and a witch. I hung up on her and blocked her number. Then my fiancé texted me saying it wasn't fair to yell at his mother about the dress

and I'm acting so immature, but she was the one who blew up at me. Then I texted my fiancé to meet me at our house to talk things out. He refused saying he would come tomorrow. So now I am waiting for him to show up. Update 3, August 30th, 2024. Hello everyone, again, thank you for the kind words and comments. I appreciate it so much and didn't expect it to sort of blow up and I wish I could reply to all of you. I talked with my fiancé about his childish behavior and how I was angry at his mom and him for trying

to get me to wear the dress. He tried to talk, but I quickly talked to. quickly cut him off and continued saying how it was no longer about the dress and it was how he took his mother's side over mine. He wasn't happy with this, of course, and said he was only taking the side which was right. However, I disagreed with this and said a dress was a huge factor of a wedding and that I wouldn't wear something I wasn't comfortable with, and then I again brought up how he should be backing me not his mother if we are to get married. He got super pissed off at me for that as I said if instead of when. He started yelling saying how I was

was going to cancel our wedding just because of a stupid dress and how all this must be some joke. I stood firm and told him that this whole thing has got me questioning whether I want to marry him. He once again, surprise surprise, tried to storm out. I followed him and told him he had to talk with me or I'm ending it. He whipped around and slapped me. I stood there in shock as he slammed out front door and ran back to his mommy. Safe to say I am not marrying this man and I am texting him just that. Thank you so much for all your comments. I can't explain how much you have all helped me. Hopefully I can find a man and marry him in less than a year so my beautiful planning doesn't get wasted. Comments where the op has replied, commenter, he slapped you? Oh, hell no. He thinks

you're being petty? Show him petty. Press charges against this mama's boy. And tell him to fuck off. You dodge two bullets. Boop, I'm definitely going to press charges for assault. Any part of me that loved him still got slapped right out. Literally commenter. Oh my God. You are so fortunate to have seen his true colors before you married him. I know numerous women whose husband's personality did a 180 after getting married. I know this is an incredibly emotional time for you, but remember to be grateful that you were saved from marrying an abuser. Boop, I can't believe that was five years down the drain. Shame he ended up like that through no fault of my own update for August 30th, 2024. Hello again, this one will be a bit of a short

update. Again, thank you for all the kind words, and some of the not so kind. This morning I went to the police station and filed for a restraining order, which will then be taken to court. I have taken photos of the mark of my cheek from him slapping me and video footage of him coming and leaving my house. Hopefully all goes well and I can leave him and his crazy mom behind me. I'm going to use the wedding venue to host myself an early birthday party and going with my sister. I took your advice and unblocked him and his mommy, which I then quickly had to mute as his mom blew up my phone. I texted my ex-fiancee calling things off and that he is an asshole. He replied with saying he sorry, act and bombarding my phone with messages asking me to forgive him. Sorry for the short

update, will probably be the last one for a while. Again, thank you for the comments and support.