Reddit Stories - Hidden Family Betrayal A Sleepwalker's Secrets Exposed ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 26

Episode Date: February 26, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #betrayal #familydrama #secrets #sleepwalking #compilationSummary: In Episode 26, "Hidden Family Betrayal," secrets are unveiled as a sleepwalker's actions expose deep-rooted family issues. The emotional turmoil and unexpected revelations challenge relationships, leaving viewers questioning trust and loyalty. This over three-hour compilation delves into the complexities of familial bonds and the impact of hidden truths.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, betrayal, familysecrets, sleepwalking, emotionaldrama, trustissues, relationshipadvice, hiddentruths, familydynamics, psychologicalthriller, storytelling, compilations, drama, secretsrevealed, familybetrayal, personalstories, lifeadviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Relax and enjoy the following compilation of stories. I hope you enjoy this story. Close companion has been informing my relatives that he still harbors romantic feelings for me and is encouraging me to end my marriage, all while cohabiting with his romantic partner whom he is deceiving. Look like me. I'm struggling with figuring out how to start this, so I guess I'll just start with context. Obligatory apology long post. I'll try to keep it semi-brief, but there's a lot.

I, F-28, have been friends with Blake 28M for about 10 years now. We met when I was traveling for a new job out of state, and I kid you not immediately became best friends in the week that I was there. Same interests, great energy and conversation, we just clicked. We were friends for nearly two years before trying the dating thing. It lasted three months, important, during which Blake did not treat me well due to unresolved issues from prior relationships. Before I could end it, he decided to end it himself as he had feelings for someone else. Fine with me, we were clearly better as friends. I took some space because he hadn't

been treating me well, he got into therapy and apologized for being Shty, and was willing to put in the work to regain my trust for our friendship, which he did, consistently, over the eight years since. Fast forward to now, I'm now happily married to my wonderful husband, Cam, 28M, together for six years, married for two years. Blake and I are still best friends, he and his ex after our brief dating stint broke up, and he is now with a wonderful woman Kaylee, 21F, for almost two years now, started dating a few months before my wedding, this is important. Kaylee and I are also good friends, she's the sweetest person. Blake also lives in the same city as me. me now after his mother passed, having moved down here for a better support network, his girlfriend moved in about nine months ago. In the past six months or so, things have been strained with Blake. My husband is very introverted, and Blake started voicing frustration about his inability

to be closer friends with Cam and feeling like he bothers Cam. He and I also started having weird tiffs, kind of subtle negs slash belittling comments slash etc. Then my husband and I came over to a game night for Blake's birthday three months ago, during which Blake picked fights with me about very weird things, for example my career path and how I'm going about it wrong, making comments like I guess if you want to stunt yourself in life, you can do it that way, etc. Both my cam and I were caught very off guard, and after several attempts to shut it down, made excuses and headed home. Later, Blake proceeded to send me a text asking if I was okay BC the vibes felt off. To which I was like a no-kitting, and explained my issue.

He decided to reply with, an email, who uses email anymore. Eight long paragraphs about how he felt he and his experience slash knowledge was dismissed in our discussion, how he felt ganged up on when Cam would defend my side, and how he felt like he can't be himself around me and Cam anymore. He also made comments voicing that he didn't feel like he could trust me B.C. I tell Cam everything, not true, I always ask before sharing unless it's a danger or moral issue. And that he thinks I'm unhealthily co-efully co-executive. dependent on Cam because whenever Blake and I hang out one by one I'm always calling to let Cam know how late I'll be out or check if I'm cool to pick up takeout. We're married with joint finances,

Sue me. I replied trying to clarify my end as well as understand where the ever-loving hell this all was coming from. But no matter how many times I tried, we kept going in circles. The emailing back and forth, during which he demanded we not meet up till this was resolved, lasted till about two weeks ago, when I said I needed time to think about about how to reply next. About a month ago I got into therapy BC it was seriously messing with my head and making me feel like I was a problem and like I couldn't talk to anyone about this BC we share much of our support system. I finally broke down to my sister when she came over to see why I hadn't been answering her, or really anyone, yay anxiety, lately. She is also

friends with Blake through me. I let her read the emails and she got pretty ticked on my behalf, and then proceeded to drop a hell of a bombshell on me and Cam. Blake is apparently still in love with me and hates Cam's guts. Apparently, when she drove to pick up Blake out of state for our wedding, he was a groomsman, he confided in her and her husband that he didn't agree with the wedding and wished I would break up with Cam and give him another chance. That were soulmates and Cam isn't the one for me. Blake has heard me talk since day one about how happy Cam makes me and how safe and loved I feel with him. My sister shut it down, but, even better, Blake proceeded to do the same thing when

she drove him back home after our wedding. He ended off saying he just needed some time. So my sister kept her mouth shut B.C. she knew that he's my best friend and hoped she could trust him to resolve it over time since he lived far away. Blake then moved near me about a year ago, and Kaylee moved in the August after. My husband's and my wedding anniversary is in October, and apparently Blake called my sister's husband too, again, confide that he's still in love with me and wishes I would divorce Cam B. C. he would be a better husband to me. While living with Kaylee, who he's told me is his soulmate. This was about when all the stress started, so she never found a good moment to bring it up. As if to ice the cake, Kaylee and I have been keeping up via

text through all this, again, we're friends. During the past few weeks, I learned some odd things, Kaylee got new piercings, reportedly encouraged by Blake to do so B.C. she'd look so cute, a double-nose piercing and septum, which possibly coincidentally Blake took me to get as a post-wedding gift two years ago. Blake apparently has beef with the month of August and so has decided their anniversary will be in October. The reason he gave was because it's spooky month, but Cam and I started dating and got married that month. I also, at my sister's prompt, went back and checked when Blake and I broke up, August 2017. Again, possibly coincidental, but feels very odd as I don't know why else he would have an issue with that month.

It's also worth noting Blake had another relationship fall apart because the girl was outright convinced Blake was cheating on her with me to the point of blasting me for weeks as some homewrecker. Cam and I always chalked it up to her insecurity, but now I'm wondering if she was just watching Blake carry on some weird, one-sided emotional affair. I love my husband more than words can say, and he makes me happier than anyone I've ever met. He's my ultimate best friend. Learning all this has made me feel so gross and like a horrible wife, though Cam has been wonderfully supportive and doesn't blame me at all.

All this to say, I'm ending our friendship, but have no clue how. I feel like I have to tell Kaylee as this has all happened during their relationship and living together and the woman deserves the world, but also recognize I have no real proof beyond spoken accounts besides the weird emails, it sounds like some wild conspiracy theory or soap opera. My therapist is on vacation, so I'm on my own after learning all this. I'm also realizing just how manipulative Blake has been for years given this context, and already feel shaky about confronting him given my serious confrontation anxiety, which he knows about and could easily try to exploit.

I'm realizing more and more that he has massive control issues that I dismissed his anxiety for years. The fact that he lives so close now fills me with dread rather than joy. I want to come out of this with no regrets, knowing I stood up for myself, and that I put a decisive end to this. I want Blake to know his actions and creepy ulterior motives are the reason our decade-long friendship is dead. I've never ended a friendship also a bit of an introvert, and this is basically friend breakup on steroids. How do I break this lunacy to Cayley in a way that sounds remotely believable given the front Blake has built? I also would love some advice on how to go about telling Blake I know everything and we're absolutely done. Additional info from OOP. So, I'm working right now and not replying to other

comments till later due to time constraints, but thought some clarifications could do well given this comment. One, there is no sexual past. Blake and I did not sleep together, again this was only a three-month relationship. Not everyone hooks up, the most we ever did was kiss a few times upon visiting due to long distance, and again, this was eight years ago. Two, this isn't the only friend I've briefly dated that I'm still in touch with. Hell, Kim actually does have close friend that he also dated back when he was in college for about six months as well. She and I are really close as well, and Cam and I are godparents to her child. Genuinely, both of us are very secure in our relationship and don't take issue with it. We're also both into all genders, so opposite.

it's sex doesn't really mean much to us for friendships. It's all just people. Three, my sister and I are in talks over this. I didn't feel it relevant to include in post but we'll hear. I let her know how upset I was over her keeping this from me, and she broke down apologizing for it and recognizes she messed up. She also has severe anxiety, and thought it had resolved until the second time Blake reached out to her husband, during which time she was going through a lot herself personally. She was intending to tell me next we spoke around the time I fell off communicating from the stress of it all. We're working through this separately. As for your summary, having gotten a restraining order on a different X, it's not very easy to get one. I will definitely if I have two, but jumping straight to that

doesn't seem feasible. The cop scare tactic is definitely not a bad idea to keep in my pocket, though, thank you. As for your frankly polarizing view on myself and my marriage, I didn't come here to ask for advice or opinions on my marriage. My husband has been amazing and very adamant that I know he is mad at Blake for being a creepy lying jerk and not me. He knows full well that I have eyes only for him and never once doubted that before nor after all this. You can think whatever you want of me or my marriage, but I did want to throw that out there. The feeling like a terrible wife I mentioned is because I feel like I've been blind this whole time, especially as I fully acknowledge how cliche this all sounds.

Whether that's true or not, I know my marriage is solid and secure, and I in no way spad in anyone's face. Update, April 24, 2025. Hello, everyone. Well, I was definitely not expecting to be making an update slash follow-up post when I made my original post. Admittedly, my original post blew up far more than I ever anticipated. I've made many posts over the years, including this one, and typically I get a handful of kind-hearted Redditor's input before it dies into obscurity, LOLL, so this was definitely new to me. I'm endlessly thankful for all the wonderful people who offered comments of care, support, and advice, some of the comments were so invaluable and I can't thank you all enough.

I did decide to delete the original post, largely to protect my peace as it was surprisingly anxiety-inducing to have half a million views on one of the most surreal moments of my life, and partially as protection as there were many specific details that could easily be identified if seen by someone who knows the details IRL. Now that that's aside, the update, I decided to talk to Kaley after all. I asked to meet up and treated her to coffee and pastries, and then disclosed everything I knew. She listened, even reaching over to hold my hand when she saw me shaking, and thanked me for telling her. In short, she has decided to stay with Blake for now, but is moving forward with this in mind, as is her right to decide. She wants to stay friends with me, and fully understands that I

want nothing to do with Blake and why, as well as to not share any info about me with him, and that there'll be some distance for a bit. This is where y'all might yell at me. But I did confront Blake in person. This was mostly due to the fact that I wanted to get it out of the way right after talking to Kaylee without raising alarm bells, and meeting up under the guise of talking it out in person was the easiest way to do that. My husband went with me, though the conversation was just between Blake and myself. I took several safety precautions as well, such as secretly recording the interaction. Initially, Blake started in on classic Darvo, saying he didn't remember saying those things

to my sister, etc., and then remembered certain things but in different contexts. He even tried spinning it back on me several times. I shut all that down as well as any excuses slash justifications given, and firmly landed my point that regardless of intent or reasoning, his actions are wildly inappropriate and inexcusable. After dismantling enough of the excuses, he actually offered several apologies owning up to his actions. Whether he meant them or not, I don't know nor care, but it was semi-cathartic for sure. He insists everything with Cayley is coincidental, but either way that is between them at this point. The conversation ended with him saying he didn't want to lose our friendship,

that he was willing to take a friendship break for a bit, establish better slash firmer boundaries, that he feels he's in a better place to be more honest, that now, he was aware of the issue and would pay more care in not breaking my boundaries. I shut him down, saying that ship sailed long ago, and it shouldn't have to take me saying I'm done for him to put effort into respecting me. He then said he'd respect my decision to end our friendship, but begged me to at least keep an open mind at possible future reconciliation. I was pretty much done at this point and told him flat out that these are the consequences of his own

actions, that I can never trust anything he says or does ever again, and that even if in some alternate universe I was open to that, he would be an acquaintance and certainly would never ever be my best or even close friend again. He went quiet and teary-eyed after this, I assume because he knew things were coming to a close. I stood up, he asked me for one last hug. I said no, reached out to shake his hand, and left without looking back. Which felt kind of badass. Until I got down the block and round the corner and had the panic attack that had been looming all day, L.O.L. Win some, lose some. Overall, though, I think this went as well as it could have. I'm not letting my guard down yet, juist in case, but it's a relief that it's

finally, seemingly, resolved. Admittedly, I'm not doing, great, but I know I will be okay. Cam helped me realize I'm basically mourning the death of a decade-long friend. While Blake himself may not be dead, the Blake I knew is, so I'm trying to give myself some grace in processing through this. Cam has decided tonight as reserve for tacos, cake, and video games together for some dopamine, and we're both calling into work tomorrow after this chaos. Thank you again to all those who offered kindness and support on my last post. I don't think I would have had nearly the confidence and composure I had today if not for you all. May your pillow always be nice and cold, your food the perfect temperature, and your life full of joy and peace.

Next story, Stepson uninvited me from his wedding after his bio mom offered to pay for it. And now he's crying because his siblings are refusing to attend unless I come for context. I'd been married to my husband for just over 20 years. We started dating when my stepkids were five and three. Our kids are, Adam, 28, step kid number one, Ben, 26, step kid number two, Charles, 20, David, 17, and Ellie, 13. Adam is getting married at the end of summer to his fiancé Alice, 27. We have all been very excited for them. All of the kids have roles for the wedding. Charles is the best man, the other two boys are groomsmen, and Ellie is a junior bridesmaid. Last weekend we had a dinner for my husband's birthday. All of the kids attended along with Alice. The topic of the wedding came up

again, and this is where it started to go downhill. Ellie brought up that she was so excited to go dress shopping and that we planned to go to a bigger city in a few weeks to get her a dress and me a stepmom of the groomed dress. At that, Alice looked at Adam sideways and responded that we only needed to worry about one dress, Ellie's. Elie kind of laugh and said, What are you expecting mom to wear? A suit? Alice responded with, My name, isn't going. You know we are keeping our guest list very limited to only family and a few close friends. What? Adam and Alice have been to our house numerous times for holidays, dinners, just to say hi since they've been engaged. This has never been brought up. Pretty quickly things escalated. The Cliff Notes version

is that Charles asked them to clarify if they were choosing to un-invite me now or if I was never invited. Alice confirmed the latter. Why? Adam said it's because I'm not his mom. Charles, David, and Ellie argued with Adam and Alice that none of them were going to go if I wasn't invited. That it was cruel to leave me out given I've been his parent for a majority of his life and loved him like my own. My husband and I admittedly sat there for a minute just fucking shocked. Adam finally turned to my husband and said, well, my husband told him he wouldn't be going either. Adam then turned to me and asked if I was really going to let everyone ruin his wedding on my behalf. Here's where I might be the asshole, I just laughed. I quit came over me but the

entire thing was just so ridiculous that laughing was the only thing I could get out. I told my husband I'd be waiting in the car and left, and then promptly bawled my eyes out. Anyways, Charles, David and Ellie are not talking to Adam. Adam called my husband yesterday to try and smooth things over. He was still Adam and I'm not invited and it's their wedding. He also requested I apologize for laughing at him. My husband told him tough shit. It's their wedding and they can invite whoever they want, but they can't control who will actually go. He said they owe me an apology and that Adam should be ashamed of himself. I'm getting texts now asking WTF I did and why I'm being a step monster and ruining the wedding Ida.

More info on everyone's relationships. It was hard to include every bit of context in the post because of the character limit, but I quit my job when Charles was six months old. Adam would have been eight, almost nine, no affair. I met my husband when he'd been divorced for over a year. Biomom was engaged to someone else. If you ask their bio-mom, she'll say I've always overstepped. If you ask her how, she'll give examples like I went to school events, so did stepdad, I helped with homework, I spent too much time with them.

She would thank me for loving her kids so much and then turn around and berate my husband for me loving kids that aren't hers too much. Another example is that in the beginning she wanted to communicate with me directly more. Said she loved the communication and that I was easier to deal with than my husband. Next argument with my husband she brought up that I was weird and too involved and she shouldn't have to talk to me whatsoever. I haven't talked to her since. Periodically she has brought up that I was easier to talk to and she doesn't understand why communication just has to go through my husband. After several years of trying to appease her,

we quit to just focus on keeping our family happy and supported. It's been 23 years now of dealing with her, I've been to therapy multiple times to resolve whatever issues she says I have. It did help with strategies to deal with her. Truly it's just that she has mental issues. Their dad did work a lot, he has always been on nights. It's changed slightly over the years but we had stepkids Friday, Saturday, Sunday, every other Monday. His days off have always fell over those days so he can spend the max amount of time with,

but usually he worked one to two of those nights. Very rarely would he work OT on days we had my stepkids, usually on days we didn't. We still currently try to do dates on days when Ben is not with us. I hope that makes sense and clears up some questions for you. Update, April 23, 2025. Hi, Reddit friends, I do have an update. Thank you to everyone who responded to my post. Most of you were kind and offered good advice. I appreciate it. Before I give an update, I just want to answer a few frequently asked questions.

I am not an affair partner. My husband did not cheat on his ex-wife with me, we met about a year after they divorced. She was already engaged, not to current stepdad, not that that really matters. Ben was at the dinner, he is autistic. I went into it more in some of my comments, but he was very upset. He doesn't understand what the argument was exactly about, but he was mostly upset at Adam for saying I'm not their parent and then at all the siblings for fighting with each other. Anyways, the update.

The short is, if you guessed it was related to Biomum, you were correct. I didn't want this to be the case. Adam rescheduled with Charles for Monday, exciting Easter weekend, fair enough. He also texted my husband to let him know that him and Alice would be doing Easter with her parents, we expected that. At some point on Sunday, Ellie texted Alice. I am not sure what exactly was said, but it prompted Alice to spill everything that was going on with her parents. I have met them a few times, but they live a few hours away. They encouraged her and Adam to reach out to us to clear everything up. Monday we dropped Ben off to Biomums,

he stayed an extra night for Easter fun. A few hours later, she began to blow up my husband's phone as Ben mentioned the fight. My husband answered one call in which she was screaming and promptly hung up. He texted her that the siblings argued, everything is fine, and that if Ben has any further questions we will talk about when he's back with us. From some of the things she texted, we knew she was the root of all of this. Monday Adam also met up with Charles, and he did come clean. Charles texted us to see if it was okay if they came over after and we said yes.

I'm not going to lie, Adam looked a mess. He immediately began crying and apologizing. The short and sweet is that he's been trying to mend bridges with Biomum. Their wedding isn't 60 people, it's blown up to about double that and they have been struggling to figure out how to pay for it. At one of their visits, Alice let it slip and Biomum jump to help pay for things. It slowly snowballed from there from small requests to big requests. I am not sure what the final nail in the coffin was, but it ended with Biomum requesting I not be there.

Adam said it was easier to hurt me and risk World War III with his mom. Alice's parents were less than pleased to find out how they'd been with the wedding slash budget, and even less so at Biomom's antics. They are trying to figure out how to start covering the payments Biomum has made, we've decided to help some with this. Adam also asked if we could meet again in a few days with Alice and we've said yes. There is still a lot of ground to cover for this to be close to mended. I am still hurt but mostly, I'm angry on behalf of my oldest son.

I hope you enjoy this story. My sibling falsely accused me of stealing for a long time, resulting in me being deprived of celebrating birthdays and going on vacations. Eventually, my parents caught him on video, yet they only confiscated his mobile device. I feel frustrated and hurt. 23 in male. I am the middle child of my parents, 54 male and 53 female, and I have an older sister, 25, and a younger brother, 19.

I've been living away from my family for five years with the very bare minimum of contact because right around when I turned 15, my dad's stuff started disappearing from his room. He has a pocket knife collection filled with different knives that he has collected from across the US, and some of them are pretty decently valuable, not worth like several grand or anything, but some of these probably fetch for a few hundred. He also has a collection of baseball cards and autographed baseballs. These items would vanish from his room and end up in my room and each time I got punished for it, and each time was more severe than the last.

I was looked at by my entire immediate family as a thief for three years even though I constantly pleaded my innocence to them. I missed out on a few vacations, didn't have a 17th birthday celebration at all, didn't get my driver's license or a car until after I moved out, and I didn't have a job and had no way to save money aside from past birthdays and odd chores around my neighborhood. I remember my dad and mom telling me how much of a disappointment, I was and that they wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in the local news as a robbery suspect or

worse. My extended family wasn't much help either and saw me in the same light. It got so bad to the point where I genuinely wondered if I was actually stealing and not remembering it at all, either through some kind of mental struggle or doing it in my sleep or anything. Earlier this week, I got a call from my mom. My dad had noticed that his thing started disappearing again without me being there and finally had the bright idea to set up cameras in the hall, where my brother was caught taking stuff and putting them in my sister's old room. Mom told me about that and then said that she and my dad both apologized to me for not believing me and that they would love to have me over for her birthday dinner to catch up. I asked her what her plan for my brother's

punishment was and she got confused. I asked her again, reminded her that I was forced to miss out on a birthday, multiple vacations, and my driver's license at 16. She said my dad took his phone for a week and his video games for a month. I lost it on her and berated them for treating me way worse while I was being framed for being a thief while the actual thief only had his phone confiscated. I then said I will not be attending any events with them for the future and I said you guys can go FCK yourselves. I hung up and blocked her number. I then got a call later. I for my sister who told me that while my rage is very much justified, my mother is inconsolable and has locked herself in our parents' bedroom.

Ida. Comments where Op has replied, commenter, I think Op should point out to his sister that the brother was trying to do the same thing to her. To frame her as a thief and have her punished. Op, which was an even weirder move because I forgot to clarify that she moved out of that house a yearish after I did. Commenter, what? Sorry, I'm not following.

Your brother. Tried to frame your sister for theft. When she wasn't even in the house. Op, yeah, it was a very dumb and idiotic move on his part. Have no clue what he was thinking. Commenter. Info, tell me more about your brother. What was your relationship with him when he was 9 to 11 and you were a teen, before everything started?

What is he doing now? Is he in college slash university? Does he have a job? Or is he just a moacher? Op, he is in college as far as I know. Our relationship was never bad at all which shocked me more than anything. Commenter, I don't understand. I thought your parents took his phone away as a form of punishment.

This is something done to a high schooler, a child, a person 18 and under still in high school. Op, he lives at home for free as far as I know. It's ridiculous and utter bulge. T. Update 1, my sister, who I will call T for simplicity, called me about an hour ago as of the time I'm writing this and apologized for what she told me. Me and her have been very close ever since I moved out and she has been known to step up and apologize when she is in the wrong. No hard feelings towards her at all. As far as my parents go, my mother had an overnight epiphany according to T. She ended up kicking my brother, who I will call Jay, out of the house after they were able to make him admit to doing this for years.

Mom told T that he was sent to my granddad's house where he will be forced to get a job and pay rent as well as his own tuition now. My dad initially fought with her on this until she made him realize just how badly he was tearing this family apart. My dad then called me, apologizing profusely, telling me I don't ever have to see them again and that they would totally understand it, but they would love the chance to make amends and fix what they damaged. He offered to gift me the amount of money I owed for loans plus an extra $5,000 for keeps. I told him I will think it over, but it might take me a while. I did accept his apology, but I haven't forgiven either of them yet and I hung up. My mom doesn't know that me and T have kept in contact as I live about two hours away from my parents and three plus hours from her, and T relayed to me that my mom and my dad were thinking about selling some stuff they own and taking extra shifts at each of their jobs so they can get me a brand new vehicle as a surprise. I don't know how this is going to sound, but I'd rather not take a car or any extra money off of them as A, everything that I own so far I earned through my hard work and B, I feel like just buying your chance.

child's affection back is a lazy way to reconcile. As far as the situation goes, I did unblock my mom, but I will not be initiating conversation unless she or my dad texts first. Also, they did make an apology on Facebook to me and scolded my brother for what happened so at least my extended family knows now. I might update if something else happens, but that's all I got right now. comments where Op has replied, comment her, it's nice that they now know you were framed and that they want to make amends. However, they are not owed forgiveness

and they are not entitled to a relationship with you. If you do choose to give them a chance, start slow. They need to earn back your trust, and that doesn't happen overnight. Take some time to think about what boundaries and expectations you need to put in place to feel comfortable resuming contact with them. For example, after everything your brother has put everyone through, if you don't want to see him or if you don't want them to discuss your life with him, they need to respect that.

If they can't respect that boundary, let them know how you will respond. Good luck. Op, I doubt I'm going to reconcile fully, their apologies feel more or less like they're sorry because they feel guilty more so than they're sorry because they wronged me and want to make it better. My brother is dead to me though, nothing he could do could fix this. Comment her, accept the money, you are entitled to that, and it's the freaking least they can give you for being such an awful parents and for the bad treatments. But don't accept the car, because if you accept it, they will try to make you feel guilty for not forgiving them even though they try to make it up to you with gifts, but if you don't accept anything from them. You won't even give them a chance to try to make you feel guilty for not forgiving them and they wouldn't have the money. opportunity to gaslight you. Although in the end it is your decision, you can still block them

once you obtain the car, you can take it as part of your compensation also, ha-ha. Look, it's your decision if you want to forgive them and have them back in your life or not, I personally wouldn't do it. But I am very sure of one thing, you don't owe them anything, no forgiveness, no meeting or anything. They treated you like trash for a long time, no one will blame you if you decide to not forgive them. And the best of all is that you are independent, you can survive without them so you can tell them to go to hell as much as you want. Just make sure you meditate and think about what you want to do. But please op, don't forgive them ha ha ha, ha, op. That's what I'm planning on doing, I'm going to accept the money but not the car if they actually go through

and buy it. It does feel wrong to take five grand from them though. I'd give it's just my stupid pride or what. Update 2, I got a call from T. My brother J got arrested for stealing my grandpa's truck keys and hitting a streetlight about two miles out from their house late last night, 925. We'll update when I get more details, as I'm going to call my dad about it, stay tuned. Update 3, so my brother has not taken to his new living arrangements well at all, he hasn't gone out to look for work, and yesterday he was caught trying to break into grandpa's safe right before he stole the truck. He was going too fast and unintentionally hit the streetlight. He didn't have any injuries but the truck is possibly totaled and my grandparents

kicked him out too. He now has no home and my parents have cancelled his college fund and are using it to pay for my grandparents to get a new vehicle. Dad told me that he was going to try to surprise me with a new vehicle but that idea was out the window, to which I said I appreciate his offer but I would have declined it anyway because I have my reliable O-1 Cherokee. My parents have practically disowned him and it's all so crazy to me as he was never truly rebellious up until this week. I think he may be dealing with some serious metal crisis and it wouldn't surprise me if his mugshot shows up on my local news. I'm not too well versed on psychology, mechanical engineering degree, so I ask, is there anyone out there with an idea as to why he may be going through this?

Update 4, this is my second IDA post and a semi-follow-up to my first one plus my other posts on my account. For those not in the know, here's a quick recap. I, 23 male, have been slowly reconnecting with my parents, male and female, both 54, after I was framed by my brother, 19 male, for stealing from my dad. Since I began interacting with them more, we have all, including my brother, my parents have undisowned him after I had to vouch for him, saying that running away from your mistakes only make them worse, started therapy and I have my debts from school paid off. My mom's birthday dinner was yesterday evening and I decided to go because they were eating at

an expensive restaurant and they offered to pay my way fully. Free food sounded good to me. Those that were there were me, my sister, my brother, my parents, my uncle and his wife, mom's side, both mid-forties, and their twins, 19 male and female. I've always gotten along with their son, but their daughter, who will be called R, has despised me for as long as I can remember. My dad was pulling out his wallet for his ID so he could get a drink and are said, in a mocking manner, uh-oh, my dad's name, hide your wallet, you don't want, my name, getting in there. I looked at her, read in the face and embarrassed, and said something along the line.

of your girl best friends have to say that to every guy in your friend group because of how you get around. She is a known cheater. She got upset and started crying and my uncle started berating me for talking to his daughter like that and that I was still on thin ice for what I was framed for. I got angry, flipped him off, and left the restaurant. I called my dad and he said that I have nothing to apologize for but my mom wants me to because she wants to keep the peace between her side of the family and ours. My uncle texted me demanding an apology and I put a post out on Instagram about toxic family members. This is where I come to you again.

Reddit, Ida. Just a little more context to my background. I was punished and neglected from my mid-teenage years up until I moved out because of what my brother did to me and it left me with trauma and trust issues from everyone around me. I'm usually level-headed but everyone knows that what happened is a very sensitive subject. Mini update just got off the phone with my aunt, R's mom, and she gave me the most sincere apology that I've received in the past month. She said she has dealt with R and my uncle, don't know how, but R did take down the post

and my uncle did send me a single sorry. Comments were R. Has replied, Commenter, Info, K, so you were framed for stealing in now that. they know that it wasn't you? Or did everyone get over it while still thinking it was you? Why vouch for your brother if that whole situation is still lingering? Sounds like he needs to still make amends. Your cousin sounds like a piece of work, and while you sunk to her level, she may have deserved it. Still, you may find a more mature approach serves you better.

Op, vouched for my brother because they were planning to cut him off like they almost did me when I and now our therapist thinks he has serious underlying issues. Everyone knows that I am innocent in stealing yes. Commenter, so why is the uncle making a statement that he knows is untrue? Why did your parents not correct him immediately? That would have diffused the situation and kept the peace. Op, Ike sometimes it feels like they still see me as a thief and honestly I'm probably just going to end up reverting back to bear minimum contact commenter.

So if your cousin really does know your innocent, why did she make the remark about the wallet? Are you sure she actually knows the truth? Op, yes, she knows the truth. My parents made a public apology on Facebook and my entire family reacted to it, including hers which was just a commenter, assuming are really is a cheater, and yea. Op, she is, she's cheated twice, one of the dudes was in that friend group update 5. First and foremost, my mom actually straight up apologized to me for everything. From not taking my side at dinner, for the way I was treated for most of my teenage to adult life,

and she ended up telling my uncle and cousin off. This was during a therapy session and it happened before any of us said anything to start it. My dad apologized to me, as well as to my siblings for everything. My brother is now getting some actual help now, as my parents have admitted to priority. prioritizing me and my sister before this entire ordeal started when I was 15 and the framing began. He apologized to me for everything and was let back into my parents' house, but has to earn his trust back, I don't really care what he has to do, my contact with him is still going to be very limited, also, in other news, I have a date. We met on Tinder around a little over a week

ago and we clicked really well. She lives around 15 minutes from my place and we're meeting at a sushi place before I take her to the movies. She wanted to see killers of the flower moon. I'm hoping it goes well. Next story, husband's estranged teenage daughter was upset and abandoned. He wanted to reject her too. But our fight turned into a plan. Now we're getting her college fund. So, my husband and I are currently cooling down from a fight. And he called me a few things, including asshole. Everything is a bit of a mess right now, so emotions are running high, but I really need a sanity check and maybe some fresh arguments because I feel like we are going in circles.

Long story long, my husband had a daughter when he was in his early 20s with his ex-girlfriend. They were not good for each other, a lot of fighting and just emotional abuse. So they split just before the child was born. He has been very open about this in our relationship and how he has been very open about this in our relationship and how he regrets not taking more care to not get her pregnant because they were young and immature and stupid. He never really got to build a relationship with his daughter, her mother would just keep the kid from him and made it clear that she did not want him in their life.

He has paid child support the whole way through, but it has been uphill for our entire relationship. When we met my husband had matured greatly and was eventually ready to start a family. So I have seen a bit from the sideline. When our first child was born, his ex went for more child support because if he can afford a new kid, he can afford to pay up. She is always being super nasty in any conversation they might have. And she taught their daughter the same thing. He has tried to at least get a phone call for Christmas and last year his daughter said some really awful things on that call.

Calling him dead beat and other awful things, telling him she hates him and never wants to get to know him. She is 13 now, so I know that her mother is still influencing her a lot, but she is also reaching an age where he can't just say that she doesn't know what she is saying or how hurtful it is. So my husband is basically given up trying. None of them want him to try, so he resigned to that. A few days ago, he got a call. The core of it is that his daughter told a teacher that she was being S.A. at home.

CPS showed up and her mother split, disappearing. They want her to come live with us. My husband wanted to decline. He has no relationship with this child, she seems to hate his gut, we have younger children and honestly, no experience dealing with a trauma like that. He believed she would be better off with a foster family who knows what they are dealing with. I told him that there is no way this kid got abused, abandoned, and then getting rejected from the only family she has. We are taking her in and we will figure out. the rest. That poor kid needs some stability, not getting tossed around in the system.

Currently we are not in agreement and I know that he has the last word since I'm just his partner and not related to this girl. Am I being unreasonable in thinking this is a huge red flag and that he needs to step up to be a father for her too? Edit, okay, this has been a bit overwhelming to come back to but I'll try to clear up a few things. One. I'm aware I have no legal say in the matter, but my husband and I are a team and a family, so my opinion matters to him. Two, neither of us have experience with the foster system, so we are really just going off what we think we know. I want to thank everyone who has been able to elaborate a bit more on this. Three. Yes, my husband was a deadbeat dad in the beginning. Later on he's been able to see that

they were a really bad match, but that he should probably have tried harder. Once visits became an option he tried, but she would forget and not be home or say it wasn't the date they agreed on and stuff like that. Maybe he could have gone through court, but he just gave up really. Hindsight is 20 to 20, but it doesn't change the fact of the now, unfortunately. Mini update, we sat down to have a talk about why the discussion had gone off the rails. Not touching the subject yet, but just why we ended up in a screaming match. He told me that he was completely overwhelmed by this and was.

in a panic. According to him, the CPS person had made it sound like he could take her in or she would go into a system that spits out drug-addicted prostitutes, as one comment colorfully put it. He feels really guilty for letting this happen to his kid. Even if she hates his guts, he feels like he should have done something to prevent this. I guess I was too focused on how bad his daughter might be off right now to truly see that he was hurting just as bad right now. We've agreed to talk about it again in the morning in a more calm setting and try to get some more facts about what can be done. It's like 2 a.m. and I'm exhausted, but we have both called off work tomorrow so we can take the time I hope there is a positive update in the near future. Update, September 5, 2024. Things are pretty hectic right now, but a lot of people were kind enough to take time out of their day to offer advice and their own experiences and I want to say thank you for that.

I'm not going into details, there is a lot more going that I'm sharing here so I can assure you that divorce is nowhere near on the table for us. We have had several tough talks in the last few days, but once we got past the worst panic, we were a lot more on the same page than we thought. My husband have agreed to take responsibility for his daughter and is looking into an emergency custody of her. We are not trying to play family, as some suggested, he is going to take legal charge of her and keep her out of the system. She will not be living with us right now. We have contacted a inpatient therapy clinic that can take her in to start the healing process. My husband is taking leave from work and leasing a second car so he can be there as much as needed slash possible. He knows she might never consider him her father or even family, but from now on, we will be her support system.

She won't have to depend on a poor overworked CPS contact, random legal guardians, homes changing, etc. If she needs therapy, we will get it for her. If she needs legal counsel, we will get it for her. If she needs the system, we will help her navigate it. If she wants to live with a foster family, we will support that. We will make it clear that our support is not conditioned on her playing family with us. She never has to set foot in our home if she chooses not to. We know that she might never appreciate any of it, but that is okay too.

We have some savings we can take from and we are setting up a college fund for her as well. It will not make her rich, but we hope to be able to cover at least some of it when the time comes. We're starting family therapy as well to start talking to our kids about the fact that they have a sister and that dad will be gone a lot more for a while. My husband will be starting therapy as well to work on his guilt and hurt from this whole situation. comments where Op has replied, Boop on her husband's emotional distress hoop. People can feel emotional distress that can cause them to lash out for a while before they are able to calm down and think more rationally about their situation. Comment her, your approach demonstrates a deep commitment to doing what's best for your husband's daughter and your family. The focus on support, therapy, and respect for her autonomy are all vital components of navigating this challenging situation.

Oop, I'll admit, the comments on the first thread were hard to read, but it did make me see that I was too naive. I have no doubt it is going to be hard, but right now we have a plan, some sort of direction for this. Most of it is theoretical at this point, but I hope we can make it work. Comment her too, sounds like your husband is stepping up and being a responsible father, despite the difficult circumstances. Kudos to him for taking on this challenge and I hope it all works out for the best. Good luck to your family. I hope you enjoy this story. Former spouse compelled me to resign from my employment, and subsequently abandoned me for his personal assistant.

During our child's birthday celebration, he appeared with his paramour to shame me. Front of everyone. This happened with my ex-husband, Kevin, 38M, a little less than a week ago. Kevin is a textbook narcissist, and he hides these traits really well, covering them up brilliantly, so I fell for it. I, 36F, have known him for the past 14 years. He was on the same team as me at my first job, and he was kind of a mentor to me initially. He taught me the ropes of the work and was there to help me out whenever I felt stuck, but he never tried to hit on me at work. He was never indecent, never made any sort of advances, or behaved in a way that made me feel

something was up. Two years later, when I was 24 and he was 26, he switched jobs. On his last day at the office, he pulled me aside and told me that he liked me a lot and had wanted to date me but never said anything because he didn't want to make things awkward between us at work. More than me liking him, I was floored by his honesty, and I had always known that he was a kind and good man, so I said yes. We dated for a short while before we made things official, and we had been together ever since. We faced life together, but last year, he left me for his personal secretary, Emma, and it's as though he

became a new man altogether. At first, I thought this was some weird sort of midlife crisis, given how he was behaving and how abruptly things went south, but it was like he had become a completely different person. The fact that he would throw away 11 years of being together was shocking to me, and in the initial weeks after he told me he wanted a divorce, I couldn't fathom exactly why something like this would happen. But I've been to therapy ever since the divorce, and there I learned that beneath all that nice guy exterior lay the biggest A-hole and gaslighter, who would make sure you lose your friends, your sanity, and your self-confidence before giving you the biggest blow of your life. And all of this happened so gradually that you don't even realize

it, but you've changed into a shell of your former that's exactly what happened to me. He didn't show me a single red flag at first, but revealed his true colors gradually. Kevin and I got married three years into dating. I was 27, and I was 27, and he was. and he was 29. Both of us were working at the time, and I had never told him or even indicated that I wanted to leave work and stay at home. That was just not me. I had worked very hard to be where I was, and I had never imagined that one day I wouldn't be working. However, a few months after we got married, there was a management change at my company, and I was laid off. I was devastated because I hadn't seen it coming. I was actually the top performer at the firm and had never anticipated

they would let me go. I'd tried applying for jobs, but I didn't receive many callbacks. The ones I did get severely underpaid me. I asked Kevin to help me out with applications and to refer me to some places. He said he would, but he never did. He was very vague about the entire situation, and to be honest, that should have been my first sign to run, but I trusted and loved him too much to even comprehend that he'd pull something like this. Surprisingly, during the whole job hunting ordeal, I got pregnant. It was very unusual because we'd always been careful, and I was on birth control, but I guess those things fail sometimes. Kevin told me that it was best if I stopped looking for jobs for now because we had a baby on the way. This was immediately after the doctor's

appointment, maybe seven to eight weeks into my pregnancy. I told him that the baby still had a long way to go, and I wasn't stopping my career. He said he agreed with me, ha-ha, liar, but he just felt all this stress about the job and the baby would be detrimental to me and that at this point, I should take one thing at a time. He was so nice and sensible about it that I was convinced. He told me he was earning enough to support both of us and that finances should be the least of my concerns. That felt very reassuring, so I decided to halt the job search. And that's exactly what he wanted. I hope that once I felt better, I'd start looking for jobs again, but somehow that never happened. When I broached the subject again, I was already four months pregnant, and he said

I should wait a bit longer. Then, my second trimester was hell. I was in constant pain, throwing up almost every day. It was a disaster, and it ended in disaster too, because a month later, I lost the baby. It was probably the darkest period of my life, and I never wish for anyone to go through that grief. And through it all, I didn't feel as supported as I should. have. I had a mental health spiral for a couple of months, and it was a while before I felt better or like myself again. When I decided I wanted to apply for jobs again, Kevin seemed pretty against the idea. He didn't say anything directly, but he wasn't enthusiastic. He subtly implied that I had been out of the workforce for too long and that it would be hard for me to land

a job and explain the hiatus. I felt very discouraged. Gradually, I stopped believing in myself and stopped applying for jobs. He showed support, saying that I didn't need to worry, we should focus on starting a family, and that finances were his concern. I believed him, and I felt like I'd never fit into the office space again, so I focused on the house and family. This was exactly what he wanted. He had completely transformed me, bit by bit, eroded my sense of self, and made me lose all belief in myself. It happened so gradually that I didn't even realize it. And I don't just blame him. I should have been smarter, no doubt about that.

But when the one person you trust so completely tries to tear you down, you begin to believe their version of things, and that's what happened. I focused on the family, and six years ago, we conceived again. I was overjoyed and very careful this time around. I could not bear to face what I had before. Five years ago, we had our son, Jeremiah, Jerry. Kevin doted on but he and I grew apart. I chalked it up to us both having new responsibilities and not being able to make as much time for each other. It wasn't something that would crumble the marriage.

We discussed it a few times, so I thought everything was fine. There were hiccups here and there, but that's all there were hiccups. Everything came crashing down a year and a half ago when I found out Kevin was cheating on me. I found chats and photos on his phone, and there was not much left to. the imagination. Instead of playing it smart and planning my exit, I acted impulsively and smashed his phone in his face. Things went downhill immediately. He tried defending himself in all sorts of ways. First, he said it was nothing, then he said all men do it, and finally, he said I was neglecting him, forcing him to seek company elsewhere. He went through the typical abuser cycle,

deny it happened, minimize what happened, deflect blame, and finally accused that. He was the other person of overreacting because it isn't a big deal anyway. Well, it was a big deal to me, and I went ahead with the divorce. Kevin was shocked because he never thought I'd actually go all out and leave him. He probably thought that since I was financially dependent on him, I wouldn't leave and would try to patch things up, especially since we had a child together. I won't lie, I had thought about forgiving him because all these things crossed my mind. But somehow, good sense prevailed, and I realized I couldn't deal with this disrespect. I also knew that if I gave him a chance, he'd just do it all over again.

He's not the kind of person to feel guilty and fix his mistakes. He's the kind of guy who tests how much one can tolerate and keeps pushing that boundary until the person collapses. I don't know what kind of sick pleasure he gets from this, but I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. He resisted the divorce, and I've been. was forced to involve his family. To my surprise, and his shock, all of them supported me during the divorce. His father went so far as to disown him, and they still don't speak. But both my

Mill and Phil are actively involved in Jerry's in my life, and I'm so grateful for that. Not once did they suggest that I try to get back together with him and work things out. They were clear and unwavering in their support. I was never asked to keep the peace, and they said they'd support me and their grandson all the way. Even my sill, Simone, who I'd never been close with before, was incredibly supportive during the divorce and has stood by me like a rock since. Kevin never anticipated his own family would turn on him and take my side, and by the time he realized what he was losing, it was too late. Now, I live with Jerry, and I have full custody of him. Kevin is a loud visitation, and that suits me because I don't want my son near his new girlfriend,

who, in my eyes, is practically still a kid. She's just 22, while Kevin is 38, and I don't want my son around such a problematic dynamic. Things came to a head a few days ago. I had thrown Jerry a birthday party. His friends and some close family were invited, including my in-laws, Phil, Sil, Mill, and Phil's widowed sister. I had invited Kevin too, but I had made it clear that it was only for him and I didn't want him to bring anyone with him. By that, I meant I didn't want Lilith, the girlfriend, and I hoped he

would respect my wishes. But I was very wrong. He waltzed in with his girlfriend an hour late. By that point, Jerry had lost hope of Kevin coming, and he looked so sullen it broke my heart. When Kevin walked in, it was obvious what his real motive was. He didn't come for his son, he came to make his relationship public. And Lilith was dressed completely inappropriately for a kid's party, like she was on her way to a nightclub. I wanted to slap her right there, but I kept my composure because I didn't want to ruin Jerry's birthday.

My Phil was furious and asked me if I wanted him to throw them out, but I told him I didn't want to cause a scene. He took Kevin aside and said something, and I'm sure he gave him an earful, but the damage was done. There was other family and some friends there, and all of them were looking at me with pity. I hated that feeling. I wanted to run to my room and break down,

but I didn't because I knew this was exactly what Kevin wanted. All this drama was only to make me break down, nothing else. And I couldn't, under any circumstances, let him win. The mood of the party soured in an instant, and anyone with a functioning brain and nervous system could sense it, but apparently, that didn't include my ex-husband. He paraded around like everything was normal, trying to strike up conversations with people. The most comforting part for me was that no one was even trying to be courteous or polite to him.

They didn't even pretend to like him. He might have hoped that this little stun of his would emotionally maim me, but he didn't think that far ahead. Everyone there was either looking at him with rage or disgust or avoiding him like the plague. This included his own family. As for Lilith, she was clinging to Kevin like her. her life depended on it, and I don't think anyone but me even spoke to her. It was getting quite embarrassing for her, and she began to realize it, so, she wasn't as dumb as I thought. She tried engaging with people, but most of them ignored her or spoke past her. These moments of

micro-support from people who were, at best, acquaintances warmed my heart. It felt good knowing the people around me wouldn't tolerate this kind of behavior. Things were getting awkward, and Kevin wasn't getting the desired effect, so he did something downright mean. He knew I was within earshot and, while talking to another parent, had the audacity to say he was glad he was with an ambitious woman now, not a mere housewife like me. I didn't react, which frustrated him, so he pressed the issue. He said Lilith was so full of potential that he felt lucky she chose him, and it was such a contrast from being with me that well, he didn't get to finish his sentence because someone slapped him.

I turned around and it was she had slapped her own brother in front of everyone. There was pin drop silence, and some of the parents left with their children in a few minutes. I rushed to Jerry, but he looked fine. He was with Mill, distracted, so thankfully, he didn't see his dad getting slapped by his favorite aunt. I heard some arguing between Kevin and Simone but couldn't make out what they were saying. When I went over, Simone was laughing hysterically, and Kevin and Lilith looked like they'd just been humiliated beyond repair. I had no idea what Simone had said to make them react that way. All I knew was that it was serious because the formerly smug and arrogant

couple was now red-faced with embarrassment. It didn't take them long to leave. What broke my heart was that Kevin was so wrapped up in his own head that he didn't even say goodbye to Jerry. I had to come up with a story to explain it to Jerry, and thankfully, Mill and Phil were there to salvage the situation. Later, when everything was done, and I had some time to myself, I asked Simone what had happened because I missed the best part of the drama. She told me she was sick and tired of Kevin belittling me and parading his little girlfriend around like she was someone great. She said she knew Kevin had influenced me into staying home, which made his comments even more infuriating. She tried to keep quiet, but she knew she had to do something to wipe the smirks

off their faces. That's when she decided to strike below the belt, just like they'd been doing all along. Then, she smirked and told me that she knew something about Lilith that even Kevin didn't know and used that information to embarrass them at the party, just like they were trying to embarrass me. A few months ago, Simone had been out with a friend at a store and had seen Lilith there alone. Simone and Lilith don't get along well, so she didn't approach her, but she noticed her presence. About half an hour later, Simone saw Lilith arguing with the store manager, and Lilith looked on the verge of tears. Simone intervened, and what she found out shocked her. Lilith had been caught shoplifting, trying to steal hundreds of dollars' worth of makeup products.

The manager was furious and on the verge of calling the cops. Simone didn't know what came over her, but she helped Lilith out. She told me she didn't want me to be mad, but she bought the products and escalated the situation. She took a bawling Lilith out for coffee, where Lilith confided in her that she had always struggled with shoplifting. She started doing it as a kid, and while it was under control for a while, she had relapsed and found it harder to control the urges. Lilith thanked Simone for helping her out, or it would have been a disaster. Simone told me that was the last time they'd spoken, and she hadn't seen Lilith since.

But when she saw her acting like a little bitch at the party, she knew she had to do something. Simone said she tried staying quiet for a while, glaring at Lilith the whole time, giving her a chance to shut up and not be obnoxious because she didn't want to stoop to that level. But when the glares didn't work, she knew spilling the beans was the only way to get Lilith to stop. That's what caused such a commotion. Lilith probably never thought Simone would actually tell everyone about her secret. Maybe Lilith assumed that because Simone was Kevin's sister, her loyalty lay with Kevin and her, not with me, but she was very wrong.

I don't know what gave her the impression that Simone and I weren't close maybe she assumed it, or maybe Kevin oversold his relationship with Simone. Whatever the reason, Lilith acted smart and ended up paying for it because, according to Simone, everyone at the party heard what she said, and there were audible gasps. Kevin was taken aback when Simone exposed her, and that's when I can't. came over to see what was happening. Even though Lilith's dirty laundry was aired in public, and it probably humiliated her, it might make me a bad person, but I'm kind of glad it it happened because she honestly deserved it. I don't say this because she stole my husband

Kevin is the one majorly at fault for what happened between us. But Lilith is still an a-hole because she chose to get involved with a married man and now act smug about it, like she won some prize. Maybe, to her, Kevin is a prize, but her morals are pretty questionable. That's why I don't feel bad for her. In fact, I think it's hilarious that she was called out publicly, and I can only thank Simone for standing up for me because I know I would have stayed quiet and kept the peace for Jerry's sake. It feels good to have someone who supports you so unconditionally. I may have lost a husband in the past year, good riddance in hindsight, but I've gained a friend for life, and that holds so much more value. Update 1, it's been a few days since I last updated,

and a lot has happened in that time. For the first four to five days after Jerry's party and the whole fiasco, there was radio silence from both Kevin and Lilith. I honestly didn't think they would contact me at all because I wasn't there when Simone exposed Lilith. I figured the most they'd do was call Simone and harass her, but nothing more. Simone didn't mention anything, so I assumed the drama was over. Jerry kept asking why Kevin left so abruptly, and I had to keep making excuses because Kevin wasn't talking to Jerry either. I don't understand how the humiliation was so bad it made him forget he was a father, and that he had a duty to his son, whom he loved more than life itself a year ago. The resentment inside me was building, but then Kevin dropped

me a text. It was at 2 a.m. on a Saturday, and from the way he typed, I knew he was drunk. The messages were, well, unhinged. It started out very normal like he wanted to catch up with an old friend. It was so casual I thought he might have meant to send it to someone else. Then he sent me a barrage of texts about how sorry he was for leaving me, how cheating was the worst mistake of his life, and how he missed me and the family so much it broke his heart every day. This went on until 5 a.m. I didn't respond because, frankly, I didn't know what to say. At 5.30, he was a. He said, he He sent me a voice note, and to be honest, it sounded sincere. It made me tear up a little, but I know better than to believe him.

My life has improved since he left, so there's no chance I'd ever consider taking him back. But he was so heartfelt, it made me sad and nostalgic. In the voice note, he confessed that he had never thought I'd actually go through with the divorce. He said his fling with Lilith was meaningless and went on for far too long. He claimed he had meant to end it but never did, and when I caught him, he still thought there was a chance things would be okay between us. He said the fact that we had a son made him more secure because he believed I wouldn't toss away the whole family just like that. He thought I would forgive him, and when I reacted the way I did, he thought I was acting on impulse. That's why he put up the act.

When he finally understood I was serious about the divorce, it was too late. He said he had always thought I wouldn't leave him and, if he knew it would end this way, he never would have started anything at all. He hasn't sent any texts since, and I haven't responded because I don't know what to say. It's a weird feeling. Therapeutic, in a sense, because now I can see that all his bravado was just a facade, and he is genuinely affected by the loss of his family. I also feel sad that this is how we ended up, especially since now I know he didn't want this either.

Update 2, I've gone through all the comments here, and most of you were right to call me out. Thanks for all the scathing comments because I was spiraling back into my old patterns, and it would have just ended badly for me. I should have been furious after his voice note. That was not an admission of guilt or a desire for repentance on his part. It was just a confession that the reason we're here is because I took a stand for myself, and he was actually counting on me not doing anything about it. The nostalgia momentarily snapped all my sensible abilities, but now I see my ex-husband as

a scumbag through and through. For those of you who suggested I send all this to Lilith to break them up, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I did nothing of the sort. I'm not going to involve myself in their mess. It took me a lot of time and effort to get away from all this, and I'd be a fool to jump back into it. From what I've heard, Lilith and Kevin are breaking up. She was his secretary, but somehow, management found out about her shoplifting issue, and she's

being terminated. This is apparently too much for Kevin to handle, as she's now not good enough for his image, so they're breaking up, or have already broken up. I couldn't care less. He hasn't tried reaching out again, and he hasn't come to visit Jerry even once, which is infuriating, but I can't force him to be apparent. He's been trying to rebuild bridges with Phil and Mill, but they haven't been responsive. They're still siding with me, and I can't express how thankful I am for their support. Simone has gone completely no contact with him, saying she can't deal with his ST anymore, and I totally understand where she's coming from. It's funny how the tables have turned. Kevin wanted to break me down and isolate me, and now, he's the one with no family and no partner.

No, I shouldn't find comfort in this, but I do. It soothes me to see that he's suffering the same fate he wanted me to suffer. If this isn't poetic justice, I don't know what is. I'm just glad I had the guts to leave him, and that's Simone exposed Lilith. She wiped the smirk off his face, and I know it'll be a long time before he gathers the courage or confidence to be smug about anything again. I hope you enjoy this story. Provided shelter for my financially struggling sibling, and his impolite spouse for half a year, assisted him in securing an excellent position, only to be subsequently prohibited from entering their recently acquired residence. Consequently, I decided to attend their event uninvited.

To expose their ingratitude to our family. For context, I crashed my brother's housewarming party a couple of days ago, but trust me, I had my reasons for it. I was not invited to the event and I found it very insulting because I had let my brother's brother and his wife stay with me for six months, two years ago. I am 32f, my brother is, 30M, and my sill is, 29F. My brother, I will call him Joey, and my sister-in-law, I shall refer to her as Emma. So Joey and I were really close and I was his go-to for everything. Similarly, I also had a very close relationship with him and I loved my brother. I still do, that's certain.

Otherwise, would not even be entertaining the thought of apologizing to him for everything that happened, but honestly, I did not like Emma. It was not as if I had never tried to like her, I had really put a lot of effort into bringing myself to like, but it was just impossible. She was a bit too pretentious for my taste, I really don't like people like that. And she is the kind of person who always looks down on other people if their views don't completely align with her. I find it very annoying because I think we are all different people, and we should respect that and celebrate it instead of looking down on people who are not the exact same as us. Lucky for her and my brother, they were pretty similar and had a lot of common interests, but at least my brother did not think that it was necessary to look down on other people. For instance, both of them went to business school, where they met. They started dating when they were in college and got married at the age of 24, after dating for almost.

five years. By the time of the marriage, I already did not like Emma, they had been together for five years and we had met each other loads of times. But every time that we would meet, be at birthdays, family events, or holidays, she would always just say something very annoying and it would irk me. Most of the time, I was at the receiving end of her comments and that's what made it all the worse. The truth is that I live a very unconventional kind of lifestyle and I know that a lot of people might not like it or approve of it, but that's fine, I don't need their approval to live the way that I want to, and do the things that I choose to do. For some reason, she thinks that it's necessary to comment on the way that I live every time that we meet. For

context, I am a voiceover artist and it's not a very conventional job, I'll give you that. But it pays really well, and I get a lot of offers and gigs as well, so I'm happy with my life. So far, I have done audiobooks, commercials, and a lot of other stuff. But Emma has got it into her head that I don't have a very stable career, and if I lose my voice, it's over for me. I don't know why she thinks that because I take really good care of my voice, I think that's a part of the job and that's my instrument. I think it's ridiculous of her to say things like that in a public setting about me,

but she does not think that there is anything inappropriate about the way that she comments on my career. There's also the fact that I'm older than her, so I definitely have a little more experience than she does. She doesn't really know anything about the industry, but she believes that since she is the one who graduated from a really reputable business school, she has the right to comment on the way that I live my life. I didn't exactly go to college, to be honest. I wouldn't really say that I'm a dropout, but I went to community college. I wasn't really interested in academics, and I might have been a good student if I had studied. But I never bothered myself with academia, and I was more interested in other things, like sports and theater and stuff.

You get the picture, I was not particularly studious and that reflected in my grades. So I ended up going to community college and even there, my attendance was kind of on the lower end, but I managed to get through it somehow. As soon as I graduated from high school, I started working anyway, so I didn't really think that college was important for me because I was already earning. At that point, I was an intern in a company, but then I started auditioning for commercials. And one of the people on set really found my voice nice, which is how I landed my first gig. Since then, I've been in that industry and I'm pretty sure that I would know more about my career and the choices that I'm making, as opposed to her, who does not know anything about my line of work. She believes that I should

go back to college, get a real degree from a real college, and then I can continue with my life so that at least I have something to fall back on if anything ever goes wrong with my voice. And I probably would have appreciated the advice, had it not been coming from her. She always makes it a point to say these things to me when we are with family and surrounded by other people. And she always says it in a very condescending tone that just screams, I know better than you. Not only that, there are a couple of other things. things also that people might find unconventional about my lifestyle. Like I have made it a point that I'm never going to get married. And even though my family has tried to get me to at least

consider that option, I have been very firm about it and I have told people that I'm not interested in marriage. I don't have anything against people who get married, it's just not my cup of tea. But I do have a daughter. And she was not an accident or the result of any previous relationship. I have adopted her. She is five years old, and I adopted her five years ago when she was just a baby. I'm sure that having a husband would probably make things easier for me, but I don't want one, and I don't need one. I'm quite happy with my life, and I have had a few relationships, but none of them have been

serious and I have made it very clear to everyone who I dated that I'm not interested in marriage. Some of them stayed, and some of them left. But my lifestyle is not going to change because of any of that. And I don't think that motherhood has anything to do with being married or not. I wanted to be a mom and I felt ready to be one, which is why I adopted my daughter because her biological mother would not be able to take care of her once she was born. My family took some time to get around it, but eventually, they accepted the fact that at this point, they just had to let me do whatever I wanted. There was no stopping me because I was not going to listen to anybody's opinions and change my life because of what they thought that I should do. Everybody had to come to terms with that, except for Emma, who still thought that she should be allowed to comment on my life and try to influence my decisions.

After I had adopted my daughter for months, she kept telling me that I needed to start looking for a husband because otherwise, my life would get really hard. I found it very annoying, and I swear that I would have said something, had it not been for my brother. Literally, the only reason that I did not say anything to her at any point, it was because of I love my brother and I want him to be happy, so I kept my mouth shut. I had discussed Emma's behavior with him before, even when they were dating, and he had told me that she was just that way because she did not think there was anything offensive about the things that she said. She actually thought of herself as a good Samaritan and believed that she was doing good by giving people advice.

Every time that I would get annoyed, I would tell Joey that I was going to snap at some point, and he kept begging me not to say anything to her because that would hurt her. Apparently, she was really sensitive and delicate about these things, and he did not want any drama. And when I say that he would beg me, that's exactly what he would do. He would literally start tearing up and I can't stand that. I'm not the kind of person who likes me.

to hear people cry, and I definitely don't like being the reason why they are crying. So he would start emotionally manipulating me to keep quiet, and I would just have to let Emma get away with all the rubbish that she said. This went on for years, until a couple of months ago, when they randomly stopped speaking to me at all, for no apparent reason. I found out the real reason that they stopped speaking to me later on, and I'll get to that in a while. But first, I'll just tell you guys a little about how I'd let them live with me, when their business went south, two years ago. So both of them quit their jobs, around two years back, to start a business of their own. I did not think that it was a good move because they had only been working for a few years and they definitely did not have enough savings.

So I tried to warn Joey about it, but he told me that they were the business majors here, so they knew what they were doing, and they were aware that they did not have enough savings, but they were. were pretty sure that they would be able to earn back the money in no time. So they were not worried about investing all their savings, or the limited amount that they did have, into their business. He dismissed my advice because he and his wife were overconfident. But of course, what I had warned them about was what ended up happening. They started an event management business, but they barely had any connections or even any capital and everyone knows that in an industry like that, you need connections to survive, or you'll go broke in no time. They did not pay heed to my very practical advice and believed that they knew everything that

they had to know. So they went ahead in spite of my several warnings and drove their business to the ground in the first few months. When they realized that it was not going to work out for them, they showed up at my door, begging me to help them out and let them live with me because they would not be able to pay the rent and at the rate at the business is going. It was very unlikely that they would be able to recover the money that they had invested in the business any time soon. They also had to return the money that they had borrowed from their friends to set up the business because evidently, this was not going to work out. It was a very sad phase, they had to shut down shop and make a lot of sacrifices. I wanted to be there for my brother,

so I told them that they could live with me because I knew that they would be able to afford rent at the time. They were very thankful for it and Emma was on her best behavior for the six months that she lived with me. She knew that I was doing her a favor, in spite of the way that she had behaved with me in the past. So she did not make any stray remarks or comments for the next six months. Around four months in, Joey asked me to speak to a friend of mine and get him a job in a decent place because he was sick of working at the same old company. He had to take back his old job when he realized that the business wouldn't work out, and Emma had to do the same. But at least she was happy when she was working, she did not have any complaints as such.

But he didn't like the company that he was working for, and he asked me to make some calls and arrange something for him since he knew that I was in touch with a lot of higher-ups. So I decided to do it for him, and I spoke to a friend of mine who ran his own fashion label and asked him to hire my brother since they were already looking for somebody to take over their accounting department. And he did it, which I was thankful for because my brother did not have the required number of years of experience for the job, but my friend did it as a favor to me. Great job, decent and great pay. So within two months, they had moved out of my house and were back on their own to eat. Joey promised me that he would never forget what I had done for him because this was a

big deal, but apparently, that was not real because he seemed to have forgotten what I had done for him already. At least my brother took a year to forget about it. But Emma pretty much forgot the second that she had moved out of my house. She went back to making weird comments about me and being all condescending around me because now she did not need me anymore since her husband was working in a great place and was getting paid a lot. So there was no need for her to suck up to me and behave nicely with me, so she stopped. I should have known what kind of a snake she really was and never helped him in the first place, but I couldn't have done that to my brother. I could have easily shattered her illusion of them being big shots, all of a sudden,

just because my brother was working in a good position by telling her that I was the one who would even arrange the job for him, or he would still be relying on me. But I didn't do that because I didn't want to hurt Joey and honestly, I'm too old for this kind of stupid and petty drama. She went back to saying weird crap about me, and I went back to trying to ignore her. She was just so ungrateful that I wanted to slap her across the face or at least tell her what I thought of her, but every time I would start looking pissed off, Joey would come to my side and try to calm me down. It was just very difficult for me to be in that position, and I don't know how I maintained my cool for so long. But then, about almost a year ago, I had a bit of a

verbal spat with Emma. We were at my mom's house to celebrate her birthday and like every other family event, I had taken my daughter with me. She was playing and walking around the room and then, she approached Emma. Emma started playing with her and I was okay with it until that point, but then, for no real reason, she started asking my daughter to tell me to go look for a dad for her because she would need one as she grew older. My daughter just looked very confused and didn't know what to say, and I got really upset because it's fine when she says weird stuff like that to me because I'm an adult and the only reason I don't say anything to her is that I don't want to engage in her pettiness. But she can't say stuff like that to my daughter because that's just stupid and

ridiculous. So I got really mad and before Joey could even calm me down, I walked up to her and told her to keep her mouth shut and not speak to my daughter that way. I was already sick of her saying weird stuff like that to me, she was not going to write my daughter into this. I definitely had a tone and I don't care about it, she kind of deserved that, and I had put up with enough of this nonsense for years now. I think what I did was necessary because, after that, she stopped speaking to me at all. And that was a very welcome change, honestly. She would not greet me or even talk to me unless the situation demanded it. If there was any way to avoid interacting with me, she would take it that way. I was cool with it, even though Joey was very

upset that we were not on speaking terms anymore. He tried to tell me to reconcile with Emma, but I was not going to do that, she had offended me and disrespected me way too many times for me to even consider that. So I told him that it was not happening and he was upset for a while that the two of us would not be speaking anymore, but I was cool with it. She was the ungrateful one here, I had let her live in my house for six months when things were going badly for them, and yet, she did not have the courtesy to even be respectful and mindful of that. So she could continue not to speak to me, if that's what she wanted. It just showed me what kind of a person she was.

The only person who even cared if we had a relationship or not was Joey, and I had told him that I had let a lot of things go for his sake, but that day, she had no right to drag my daughter into this. I continued to talk to my brother because I didn't have anything against him and neither did he. But then, a few days ago, my mother called me to ask me what I was wearing to my brother's housewarming party. I had no idea what she was talking about because I had not received any invitation to such a party. And then, she told me that Joey and Emma had purchased a new house just a week ago, and that is the day that they sent out the invitations as well. They had probably told anyone not to tell me about it, but my mother had missed the memo and she ended

up speaking to me about it. Because I had absolutely no clue that this was happening. And I was very offended that I had not been invited. Because just to jog your memory and not to sound repetitive, I had to literally let these people live in my house, under my roof, and use all of my facilities for six months two years ago. The least they could have done was invite me to the housewarming party. I even got my brother the position that he was working in right now, and that's how he was even able to buy that house, because of the money from the job that I had hooked him up with. I thought this was very disrespectful and I called my brother up immediately to talk to him about it. When I called Joey and confronted him, he didn't even hesitate in telling me that I was not

invited on purpose because Emma had apparently banned me from their new house. Because she did not get along with me, she did not want me to attend any of their special events, and that would include the housewarming party. Not only that, I would never be invited to any of their events in the future either, unless I chose to apologize, that is, I would not be invited to their anniversary parties, their birthdays, or anything else. I just couldn't even fathom how he could just say all of this to me without even the slightest hint of remorse in his voice. He didn't even sound guilty about it and was just saying it to me very casually, as it was very normal, and I should have been fine with it. I didn't even bother to identify what he was saying with a

response. I had said very clearly to him that I was not going to apologize to his wife, no matter what. She was the one who had disrespected me, not just a few times, but every single time that she had a chance to. I had always let it go because I did not want to hurt him or cause drama between us. But this was just taking things way too far. I was really offended and hurt, so I thought about it for a week and on the day of the party, I decided to crash their housewarming party and actually get my revenge this time. It was petty, and it was really mean of me, but I thought that it was necessary, at the time, because they were turning people against me. Otherwise, nobody from my family would have kept a secret this big from me, unless they had been

telling people categorically not to tell me about it, and for that, they obviously had to paint me as the villain because I was pretty well liked by my relatives, and they had manipulated them against me. I showed up at their new house, after getting the address from my mother, and I made sure to arrive at a time when I knew that all the guests would be present. Everybody was pretty shocked to see me because they knew that I had not been invited, and it just confirmed my doubts, that they had been leading people to believe that I was the bad guy here. But I had come with proof of their ungratefulness towards me. I had printed out the emails that had been exchanged between my friend and I, which is how I managed to get my brother.

The job that he had now, and how I had kept a secret for such a long time, yet he had still not bothered to teach his wife, not to disrespect me. You don't bite the hand that feeds you, that's just common sense. And once I got there, I drew attention to myself and started telling everybody about how they had been living with me for six months when their business flopped and how I had even gotten my brother a better job than he had previously, so that he could earn more and have better hours. In spite of that, Emma had continued to disrespect me and do her very best to be condescending around me. But I had kept my mouth shut because I did not want to hurt my brother and cause a rift between us because I thought I was equally important to him, but since that was

not the case. I did not think it was necessary for me to keep his secrets anymore. So I revealed everything that I knew, and everyone looked shocked. Emma looked the most upset about all of this. She turned to Joey immediately and asked him if what I was saying was true, even though there was no need for that because I already had the printouts of the emails to prove that it actually was. But when Joey confirmed that this indeed had happened, she got really upset and started crying. She told everybody that the party was over and then stormed upstairs and Joey followed after her. After that, I had nothing to do, so I left as well, and I did not respond to anybody after that. The next morning, my mother called me up and told me that what I did at the party was completely

unacceptable and that I needed to apologize to the family. Because my behavior was nothing short of cruel and even Joey sent me a message, saying that he did not want to speak to me ever again because of what I had done. Because now, Emma was very upset about what happened the previous evening, and I had ruined the first day of the new life. I feel like I am being vilified for standing up for myself, but I also don't know if it was the right move to gate-crash their party anymore. Since I'm getting a lot of hate for this, I thought that I would ask the people have read it what they thought about this. So, I'd offer gate crashing my sister-in-laws and my brother's housewarming party to humiliate them. Update 1, hi, so it has been two weeks

and nobody from my family has been speaking to me. My parents don't talk to me anymore, neither is my brother and everybody else has started giving me the cold shoulder as well. But at least you guys don't think that I was wrong for doing what I did, that means a lot. because I know that you guys are speaking from an objective point of view and are not biased, like my family. I can't believe that I did so many things for so many people in the family, and this is what I get in return. I guess that explains a lot of my brother's behavior, no wonder he's like this, because look at the people around him. Nobody is grateful for things that I have done for them and are trying to make me look like the bad guy,

just because I was not willing to take the disrespect anymore. Brilliantly played, I must say that. Emma is getting all the sympathy and she's lapping it all up, that's for sure. There are still a few people who are on my side, thankfully, and they have let me know that Emma is exaggerating the events of that evening to make me look even worse and is making me out to be some sort of sociopath. I mean, where does it even end? It's just disgusting and pathetic, and I'm glad that I chose,

not to apologize and cut all ties with them. I am better off without them and so is my daughter. Update 2, so this is coming after almost a month of being in no contact with my family. My daughter keeps asking me when she's going to meet her uncle and her grandparents, but it's just so sad. I have nothing to say to her. I think she is the only person that I'm getting affected by because everybody else has been really mature about this whole thing. None of my friends have asked me anything about it and they are respecting my space. It has been difficult for me to deal with as well because I was so used to talking to Joey every weekend and hanging out with my parents frequently. But now, that's all gone. They haven't even made an effort to talk to me.

It was my daughter's birthday two days ago and they didn't even wish her. I know I'm the one who chose to cut them off, but the least that they could have done was wish my daughter a happy birthday. She was very confused as to why it was her birthday and nobody from her family had even bothered to show up at her party. Since it was just a couple of her friends from school and a few of my work associates and friends with their kids who attended the party, but not her uncle, who was always the life of every birthday party that she has had so far. I probably shouldn't care about these things, but they do matter, and I felt really bad. But it's fine, I guess I'll move on from it with time. At least this incident with my family revealed everybody's true colors, and now I know exactly where I stand with them. Update 3

So, it's been almost two years since I posted here. I just thought that I would share with you guys the fact that Joey, my brother, recently got in touch with me because Emma is pregnant. It's sweet, I told him that I would try to attend their pregnancy announcement party in a few weeks. We haven't spoken much in the past two years and neither. have I been in touch with my family. I have been getting a lot of work, so I'm grateful for that. I had almost moved on from this entire thing, and given up any hope of ever reconciling with them. But what happened back then, it's all water on the bridge now. I guess I might attend the party, just to make peace with my past. I know that my brother and I might never have the same relationship

again, but it's worth a try, I guess. And even if something bad happens, at least I'll know that I shouldn't hope for people to change. Anyway, my point is that I might give this a chance. He also mentioned that Emma was the one who thought that it would be a good idea to invite me, so I'm guessing that even they want to make things right with me again. I hope you enjoy this story. Found out about my spouse's infidelity, so I developed feelings for the spouse of my spouse's lover during our tumultuous separation.

I've developed deep affection for the partner of the woman my spouse is having an affair with. Oh, I'm Me with I'm So Sorry. There are a lot of errors in the title and the text. While I think my English is pretty awesome, it's not perfect. So sorry for any confusion this is going to be a long post. We'll do my best to make it short. I found this sub on a podcast. Maybe I can find comfort about what have been weighing me down for almost a year now. I'm F-36, and my husband is M-38. We have been together for 10 years. We have one daughter who's F-6. She's everything to me. I found out a year ago that my husband is sleeping with his employee, F-30, how? Her husband, let's call him John M-35, contacted me. He was heartbroken and he thought that I ought to know.

provided me with text messages and dated when they've been in hotels. I recognized my husband's style and I recognized the other woman. I have seen her on multiple occasions when I visited my husband at work. She'd been nothing but kind and pleasant towards me and she always doted on my daughter. I asked John what he wanted to do and he said that he wasn't sure yet so I requested that we should meet. He agreed. I told him about my life and that I'm currently not working after the pandemic. I lost my job and now the economy. I haven't really had any opportunity to find job. Instead, I've been studying these past two years.

If I divorce now, I won't be able to provide for my daughter. That would probably put her in my husband's custody as a primary provider. I asked him if he could wait for a few months, hopefully longer and to my surprise he agreed. I thanked him profusely but he told me that he didn't know what to do either so he's happy to wait. Also, the other woman has three children from a previous relationship and he was worried that she would refuse him being in their lives once he confronted her because Hest not the father. We kept in touch however.

He called me a few times a week and soon we started to talk about other things other than our failed marriages. Afterwards we started going for walks, coffee movies, etc. I found myself thinking about him often with a smile on my face. He was the first thing I thought of in the morning and the last thing I thought of before going to bed. For the last three to four months we probably mentioned our spouses one or twice. We talk about everything else.

And he always makes me laugh. He thinks I'm funny two smiles two weeks ago we were having a picnic and he just blurted out I think that I'm in love with you. When he then explained himself it just drove the point home that I also am in love with him. He said that at first he wasn't sure why he was feeling like this. towards me and explained it away as two jilted people finding comfort in each other, but that he then realized that he wasn't broken anymore. That he even thinks of his wife's infidelity as a blessing because it lead him to me. That was exactly how I felt too. I didn't know what to say.

I told him that I'm terrified that these are false feelings that would go away once we've freed ourselves from those who hurt us. He just beamed at me and said he was willing to take the risk just to find out. He kissed my hand because I thought we were still married and if we did something then how are we better than our so? I don't know what to do now. I find myself daydreaming about him, about introducing him to my daughter. Kiss him. Wake up next to him every morning. I still have one semester left and then I'm probably going to find a job. I've already had some offers for when him finished with my studies. I have thanked John so many times. I have thanked John so many times. for being so patient with me about everything.

I appreciate that Hess waiting for me to put my life in order before we expose our spouses who aren't really seeing each other as often as they used to do. He told me Hess happy to help and he just wants a real kiss as a thank you when everything is over. My goal now is to secure my job and leave this marriage. Am I pathetic for wanting to give John an I a shot and see where it would go? Can two broken hearts really find happiness together

when their love story started like ours? Update 1, hi again. This is not an update. Since nothing new has happened in my life. But I've been feeling so down lately and my emotions are all over the place. Hopefully this post will help me sort out my feeling. I'm sorry if you find it confusing

but this is how I'm feeling right now. Confusion. Also, I'm sorry, but it's going to be a long and bumpy ride like my last one. I'm still busy with my studies, especially now so close to the holidays. Thereafter I'm going to have a break until January 16th and the start of my last semester. I have got two job offers, one with unpaid internships starting in April. I like this job very much since I would be working from my laptop most of the days the other one is more of an office job, but with better pay.

I don't know how the custody arrangement is going to be, but I feel like a job with more flexibility. flexible hours is a better fit for me. The reason why I'm writing now is that John and I met yesterday. If you remember my last, we decided not to see each other, at least not as often, since the I Love You Talk. We did good keeping that promise, but we still saw each other once since I wrote here and we continued texting and calling each other on a daily basis. Yesterday we met on John's initiative. When I got to the park, to our usual meeting spot, John was already there. He had flowers, coffee and cake, I love cake, and he told me that we're going to have a little celebration.

He said that today was the day we first met a year ago. Yes, it was. I remember that day very well. It was raining then too, but it was much, much gloomier. I remembered how broken and desperate I was. The feeling that my world had ended. We talked a lot about the progress we made and how much stronger we both felt now. He told me he loved me and it was all I could do not to just fuck everything and jump into his arms.

He is so lovely. When I got home my husband had already picked up our daughter and they were just joking around and having fun. I felt so much sadness and pure horror building up inside me. What am I doing? What are we doing? All of us? The guilt that washed over me seeing my daughter's happy face playing around with her food. I couldn't take it.

My husband and the other woman haven't texted at all this month, and they haven't met either or at least as far as John and I know. Of course, they work together so we don't know if the affair has subsided or that they just have learned to be more cautious, but my husband has been more attentive at home, warmer and more present. He says he loves me all the time and that he misses me. I haven't been intimate with him since I found out about the affair and even the smallest touch from him irks me, and any beautiful word or compliment from him sets my teeth on edge.

I just want to scream liar and I feel like I'm cheating on John accepting my husband's affection and the disdain for myself becomes unbearable make this make sense. Please. I looked at my husband and tried to remember what I loved about him, but I couldn't. All I could see is his text to her, about how great last time was and what he wanted to do to her next. All the things he once said he wanted to do and did to me that made me feel so special. I tried to think harder about the love, but all I saw was John's face. I felt immense rage and hatred towards my husband, but also towards myself and John. My husband because he broke us and brought this mess upon us and myself because I felt that I wasn't trying hard enough with my heart occupied with someone else.

Have I just given up so easily because I love John? And my daughter? She is the one who's going to pay the hard price of seeing her home break because Daddy is a selfish, greedy cheater and mommy isn't trying hard enough to save her marriage when she is pining for another man. I couldn't control my feelings of anger and resentment and guilt so I wrote John a long text telling him all this and more. He tried to call me but I couldn't answer him. My heart was swollen in my throat. I told my husband that I wanted sleep in my daughter's room tonight, something I've been doing a lot since this all started. I cried all night watching her beautiful face so peaceful and happy. This morning John called me again and we talked for over an hour. He was very subdued and I heard the fear in his

voice. He told me that he respected my wishes in taking a break from each other, but also to remember that even when I was at my weakest I still knew exactly what I wanted and that I chose to stay to secure a future for myself and my daughter you're too close now to your goal just to stumble and fall. He said he loved me and that he never felt like this before, and that he will wait. I cried for a good hour afterwards already missing his voice. I know that my marriage is unsalvageable and I that I'm doing the right thing, leaving it even with the nagging feeling of guilt that's simmering beneath the surface, boiling over every now and then waking me up at night, but I need to do this alone now.

I want to look back with no regrets. The guilt will probably never going to go away entirely, but at least it won't have John's face now he's not in the picture anymore. So that's what's been up with my life. I told you that it wasn't an update really and I'm sorry that it is long and confusing but that's all I have right now. Edit, I'm not staying in my marriage. I don't know if my English is this bad or if people don't bother reading long, boring rants. I apologize for both, but I'm floored because of the amount of comments and attacks on me as a person and a mother for staying with my cheating husband please tell me where did I say I was staying? I broke it off with John yes, but it wasn't

because I'm going back to my husband. Again, where did I write that I was staying with my husband? Jay has now left his wife, a short update, update 2, hi everyone. I know. I had a dramatic episode last time I was here and swore not to update again, but I'm a woman I can change my mind if I want to. Last time I was overwhelmed by the amount of comments and messages about me being a bad mother and I just couldn't take it so I freaked out on you but today I have a little update. It's not about me. It's about John, John's mom is sick. She lives in another city about seven to eight hours drive away. John went to visit her and he texted me before going. He apologized for texting me because we weren't supposed to keep in touch anymore but he wanted me to know he was out of town.

I drove over there on Thursday because it sounded like it was serious. I arrived to the hospital around noon. He looked miserable. His mother isn't even old. She is 58. My heart is breaking. I could only stay for an hour before heading back home. I feel so guilty leaving him alone. His sisters live across the world and they won't be able to fly home before Christmas.

On Friday, John came home and broke off. off his marriage. I don't know all the details, but he didn't mention to her that he knew about her infidelity. Just that he wasn't happy anymore didn't want to be married to her. He texted me and thanked me for visiting him and his mother and told me about him filing for a divorce from his wife. He is moving back to his hometown to be with his mother. He left yesterday, but he will be back once more to get the rest of his stuff. Even though I understand him and even if I wasn't seeing him anymore, the city feels empty and gloomy without him. Update 3. Hi again.

I'm sorry I deleted my account. I'm very new to this and I just couldn't handle the criticism I was getting so I deleted my account. I have understood now that the Internet doesn't owe me politeness and people will say their opinion because I put myself out there and that makes it, I guess, okay for people to say hurtful things because I chose to share my story. I have learned that I could deactivate all private communication. so if you have something nasty to say, be brave and put it in the comments instead smile, although I'm hoping for less amount of negative comments this time since people were mainly angry

that I was taking my time to leave my husband. Thankfully, while my account is deleted I still, with some digging found my original posts. I have included them here to those who haven't followed my story. I'm still going strong with my studies, and as I said I have secured a job in April with decent salary that will increase with 30% once I graduate two months later. I have also signed a lease on an apartment that is a few blocks away from my daughter's school. You can't imagine the happiness I was in when I found the apartment, but most importantly that they accepted my bad credit, having not had income for over two years now. My new job contract and reference was enough,

and I have to pay for three months ahead. I get the keys April 1st too. I still need to talk to a lawyer I just don't want to throw my money before it is getting closer and I need the help. I have found non-profit org for women that I could call and ask for information and advice. I'm not really in an abusive marriage, but they have experience of all sorts of marital and divorce problems. As I stated, since I found out that my husband was cheating on me, our sex life died. In the beginning my husband didn't seem bother about it, probably, no certainly because he had someone else, someone knew but with time, it has been over a year now and God it has been the longest and yet shortest year of my life. With time he started to show me affection again, trying to get intimate

with me. I avoided him like the plague. He never pressured me, but he was getting upset and I felt him getting frustrated. I think his affair had died out by then, or maybe it wasn't as fun and exciting for them? I don't know, I'm not an expert on affairs. For over two months now, he has been trying to open the subject of our non-existent sex life, but I just told him that I didn't have a drive, or that I was busy, this being my last year of my studies. I have been able to keep him at bay and while my explanations and excuses were at making him happy they were good enough to keep him away, that until about a week ago when he wanted to discuss this seriously. I told him again that I was busy and that my sex drive is very low, it is, he said that it wasn't just the sex.

We had no intimacy, he barely is allowed to be near me, I never talk to him anymore, like I don't make an effort anymore. I asked him if we could just wait until after the holidays because I'm too busy, and I didn't want to ruin it for our daughter who loves Christmas. He then said something that triggered every nerve on my body. Something like it was not healthy for a marriage when one partner neglects the other because then you start looking somewhere else. I just said that it wasn't true because he started sleeping with, her name, way before I started neglecting him. He was in total shock. First he tried to know more, maybe he misheard me, then he started to deny it, then made excuses, then started apologizing, then he started asking for details, and what my plans were. When I told him about me getting a job in an apartment,

he started pleading trying to hold me. Now this past week, he's tried to talk to me every day and I have been calm with him. He had so many questions. Why didn't I tell him before, at least he could have explained. She meant nothing to him. The relationship ended. He had no feeling for her. It was just physical. He loved me and nobody else. Think about our daughter. He regretted what he did and that's why he ended it. Why was I not more upset? I told him that I had mourned us for a year and that I'm over it now. He still thought this was unfair because this is all new to him. I told him about my job, my new place and I asked him to be patient with me and to think about our daughter and put her first in whatever is coming. He was so angry by that and told me that

if I thought about our daughter for a second I would have confronted him there and then. Be honest. We could have tried to fix it with therapy and some effort because he never loved anyone like he does me and he would drop everything else to try and make it right with me. But I chose secrecy, plotting and planning my life without him while pretending everything was fine. Did I, though? I started crying and begged him that however angry he is with me, not to take it out in a way that affect our daughter. I told him that I did all of this for her. I didn't want her to see us fight. I didn't want to leave without having the means to offer her a good life. Now he is so angry with me all the time. He barely looks my way. He is still sweet with our daughter though,

and that is comforting. I sleep in my daughter's room most nights. I never meant for it to blow up this soon, but you can spend your whole time planning and preparing the perfect exit, but life has never been predictable. I don't regret my outburst. Maybe it was time anyway. I will continue communicating with him about the importance of staying civil to each other. He is angry now and he feels cheated and deceived and I get all that, but I need him to put aside the hurt and think of our daughter, just like I did. And just like I did, he will get over the pain in time. Sorry again for the long post and for the grammar edit. John is in the process of divorce too. He has moved back to his hometown because his mother is very ill. I'm afraid his sisters live

in Australia, but they have both come home so it feels good that he and his mother are not alone. I have visited them three times since I heard the sad news, but he lives far away, so I haven't be able to stay for long periods to support them. We talk over the phone every morning, though. He is devastated at it too. No, I haven't told my husband about John nor am I gonna. If by any chance John and I end up together, then everyone will know including my husband, but we are not will telling my husband or anybody about how John and I met. We have decided that long ago when we were dreaming about our future together that we wouldn't tell our exes how we met. It is for the best for anyone involved. I'm keeping this promise. It is nobody's business but

ours. We don't know what the future hold. John lives in another town, eight hours drive away. We haven't talked about us in ages. We have a lot going on in our lives separately. All I care about now is his mom doing better or at least not suffer. Update 4. Hi everyone. I hope you're doing well. I was here about a year ago with my story. Two years ago I found out that my husband was having an affair with one of his employees who was married at the time. A year ago, I was here telling my story. I deleted my posts but I found them all gathered in one post when I googled myself. I will include my old story on my bio, to anyone who doesn't remember or know my story.

Also the usual disclaimer that my English will suck and my post will be long and rante. My apologies. I have had the hardest year yet of my life even if not everything has been negative. I have a great job now with a great company and great and supportive co-workers. I'm so thankful for that. I live now in my own apartment. That's where the greatness ends. Because it doesn't matter how long you have.

have known a person, how much you have trusted and loved them or how much you thought they loved and valued you, you don't really know them before you hit rock bottom with them and my ex-husband, still legally married because he is still refusing to sign any papers. Has shown nothing but cruelty and vindictiveness towards me and at times our daughter, making me question why I've chosen to rock the boat. I thought I was doing all of this for my baby. I wanted to give her a dignified life and a strong role model in me. A happy and content mother to be her hero, and yet she's the one who suffered the most during this time. When I told my husband about my plans to leave him, he was in denial at first, which was bad,

but it was nothing compared to when he realized I was telling the truth. He used every mean possible to break me and dissuade me from leaving. He started with threats about taking full custody, then he took all my assets from me. He got primary custody of our daughter and refused me to see her while court made the assessment that I was fit to have shared custody because he filed a motion that I was broke and suffered from mental illnesses. I'm being treated for depression and PTSD. I couldn't see my daughter for eight weeks because of bureaucracy and I thought I was going mad because of that even contemplating just getting back together with him to get my daughter back. When I finally saw her I was awarded

shared custody, she was so angry and broken. Telling me how much she hated me and how she wanted to be with Daddy. He told me that my daughter hated me. because I'm a bad mother while I knew he was poisoning her mind. Even when we had shared custody and she started to warm up to me again. She's still at hard time loving me the first day after she'd been with her father until I win her back and she is almost her normal happy self at the end of the week before she is going back to his place and the vicious cycle begins. He tried everything too not to divide our assets according to the pre-nup, but that wasn't

any priority of mine. Even if I had to start from scratch, I was willing to give him anything. not to make him angrier with me that he takes it out on our baby. Once he came with a suggestion that I left him everything and gave away all my rights and he gave me full custody. I thought something finally heard my prayers before he changed his mind and filed new motions suing for full custody. He was playing with me.

During this whole ordeal I was feeling doubts and resentment towards myself for not just complying and obeying him and stay with him until our daughter is older. The self-doubt and fear were almost peril. and one day in the beginning of summer I wrote a very long letter to him reminding him of his love for his daughter and the promise he made to her when she was born to do anything to protect her. I reminded him that I am just a woman and he can, and had, replace me any time but that his daughter is his daughter. I begged him not to use her to hurt someone who is replaceable. Don't use a valuable treasure as a weapon to destroy a cheap target. A target you easily replaced

once before. He didn't answer me, but he stopped texting and calling me in other purposes other than our daughter. She has been happier too, and she says she loves me and she loves Daddy. I don't know if it was my letter, but he just stopped all his attempts to hurt me. Once when he dropped her off, he apologized for everything he did back to cheating on me in the first place and said that he loved us and promised not to hurt us anymore. He has since kept this promise. He has during all this time. since January, while I still live with him, been having an on-again-off-again girlfriend 25F, who wouldn't I get to see my daughter more because I get her even on his weeks? I find myself

hoping for them to get back together so I can have my daughter with me in a stable home. I don't know what the future holds and I hope my daughter forgives us for what we have put her through. Most of the time I regret asking for divorce when she is so little and wish that I have waited at least until she is old enough to understand but sometimes it feels like it was the right decision anyway. Of course I will never know. As for John, he still lives in his hometown near his mother. She is very sick and no chemo nor procedure works now. I have visited them as much as I have been able to. He has been great support throughout this ordeal which always made me guilty given what he is going through, but he always said he is happy to listen and want to know.

We call and text each other every day. Last month, when my husband had my daughter on a trip with his family, John showed up at my door. He said he just wanted to see me and he had booked a hotel room that he ended up not using. He spent the weekend with me in my apartment and it was the first time I've allowed myself to be with him. He was everything I imagined and more. He said he loved me and it was all I could do not to start bawling pathetically. I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much. John's divorce is finalized but we have decided not to make our relationship public until my life is in order. We have waited for two years what are a few more months. I'm so much happier now. And I am hopeful for the future. Not just for me but for everyone.

I hope we can all move on and be happy. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner's colleague admitted his emotions, attempted to persuade him to be unfaithful and belittled me. Presently, they are consuming alcohol together until the early hours of the morning. Initially, I want to emphasize that this kind of resulted as a mistake on both ends. So my 26F boyfriend, 25M, made plans with his friends this week on our first date anniversary. This would be the first time celebrating any anniversary between us and we had spoken about it for a while. We both kept getting muddled up on the days as we've both been extremely busy at work, though we knew throughout this month that it was coming. Before I realized the specific day our anniversary landed on, he had told me about his plans

since he wouldn't be able to see me that day. Our work schedules don't often align so he always runs it by me if he has plans on a day he's off, in case one of us is expecting to meet after work and vice versa. Since I didn't put it together that his plans coincided with our anniversary, I told him it was all right and was really enthusiastic about him going. The problem is that today the penny dropped, and I really realized. that we made a mistake. I know it sounds silly, but I feel really upset about this. It is our first anniversary and it just feels like such a shame to miss it. There's also a part of me that is

slightly upset he even made plans on that day, which I know is irrational and hypocritical, seeing as I got muddled up too. But I guess it's just me wishing that he had realized slash kept it in mind, even if I wasn't aware, I know that's not fair, but I'm just being honest. I don't know whether this is something I should or could bring up to him. I feel like I definitely can't ask him to cancel his plans, seeing as I already said I don't mind and he already committed to his friends. I did tell him today that our anniversary is on that specific day, but he didn't say anything about us not being together to celebrate.

I'm NGL a part of me was hoping he'd offered to cancel. I'm considering asking my work if I can take the day off since it's his day off too, and that maybe we can do something before or after his plans, but in the past he's been very against seeing me when he's already made plans. I'm not sure if there's even advice anyone could give me. I know we could celebrate on another day, and that we will have more anniversaries in the future, but it just feels very sad that we messed this first one up. Should I tell him how upset I am, or would that just be unnecessary guilt?

Comments where OP has replied, Amaranthesk I think you're right to not ask him to change his plans, or try to pile more plans on top of a day when he's already busy. Just let him know you'd like to plan something special on another day soon, and then you can both enjoy doing something together on another day without looking at the clock to see when he has to rush off to his other thing. That said, it's fine to be honest about the fact that you're feeling a little sad that you both mixed up the dates here,

as long as you recognize that doesn't mean either of you has to do anything about that other than make your backup plan for another day. Oop, you're right. I think a part of me thought maybe doing something on the same day would be a good fix, but it's true that it would just put pressure slash time constraints on everything, and it's just not necessary to do anything about it like you said. I am just going to leave it and make sure we plan to celebrate another day. Update 1.

My 26F boyfriend, 25M, has a friend, let's call him Dave, who has expressed his feelings for him. This is going to be a really long post, so sorry in advance. To give some background, Dave is a work colleague and they've been friends for a while. Dave is openly gay and we've met several times, and I never had any problems with him. We seemed to get along quite well. This all started a few months ago. Dave and my boyfriend live on the same road, and after a night out with his work colleagues

they were dropped off together at Dave's house, where my boyfriend planned to walk home. That night I had been messaging my boyfriend before bed and at around 3 a.m. he had messaged me he was on his way home. I was asleep by then. The next morning I woke up to see the 3 a.m. message and saw that just after 5 a.m. he messaged to say that he was home. I found this a little odd since the place he was going home from was about 30 minutes away, though I thought maybe he just forgot to reply. When he woke up I asked him about his night and how late he got home. He told me that the whole work crew were being dropped off in the same Uber so it took him about an hour to get back, but this confused me even more because that wouldn't explain the

5am message. I asked if he ended up doing afters at Dave's house, but he said no and just left it at that, he didn't even say he forgot to message or anything to explain the missing hour. I found it a bit strange but left it alone, even though his responses were a little out of character and I could tell he wasn't telling me something. The next date night we had, he finally let it slip that he wasn't telling me everything about that night. He told me that while he was walking home, Dave, who had already gone home since the Uber dropped them at his house, suddenly started running after him. He told me that Dave told him that he's had

strong feelings for him for who knows how long, and that he was interested in starting something with him. My boyfriend said he was really in shock, and that he reminded him that he was straight and has a girlfriend who he's met. Dave asked if any part of him would be interested in trying anything, and my boyfriend said no. I wasn't extremely annoyed by this story, other than being a bit bothered that he tried to proposition him that night, but I asked him why he wouldn't just tell me that this happened, rather than keeping it a secret for a few days. He said he thought I might get upset, and when I asked him why I would be, he ended up adding more to the story. Apparently, while Dave was making this declaration of love, he was also taking the opportunity to badmouth me.

Dave doesn't know me extremely well, but, like I said before, our interactions at that point had been pleasant. He was telling my boyfriend that I do not deserve him and he could do much better than me, amongst other things. This, of course, did upset me and I felt extremely disrespected. Not only did he try and convince my boyfriend to cheat on me, but the stuff he was saying was also extremely insulting. Dave and my boyfriend ended up having an hour conversation in the rain. He jokingly referred to it as the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for him. But I don't really know how much my boyfriend defended me or made it clear that this type of dialogue isn't okay with him. He definitely shut it down though. Since then, I felt very uncomfortable with my boyfriend and Dave's

friendship. I don't want to be the type of girlfriend that has a problem with any of her boyfriend's friends, but I really felt like Dave had crossed a line. Still, they are constantly together because they work with each other and my boyfriend spends a lot of time with his work colleagues on days off, etc. The problem is that, as time goes on, it's getting to me more and more. Yesterday, I posted about my boyfriend having made plans with his friends, the work colleagues, on our anniversary. Basically, they are planning to play D&D and Dave went over to my boyfriend's place yesterday at 6.30 p.m. to create his character, since my boyfriend's never played before. My boyfriend had made it seem like there was a group who were going to help make his character, but it turned out to just be

Dave, I only realized this because we're on FaceTime and Dave rang the bell while we were on call. Because he had abruptly hung up the phone on me, he told me he would call me back later when Dave left, and made it seem like he wouldn't be long. Well, it gets to midnight and my boyfriend still didn't call. I messaged to ask whether he was free yet, and he said that Dave's still there and they're having some drinks. Because I had work, I ended up just going to bed and we said we'd call tomorrow, today. Today we called and my boyfriend told me that he's extremely hung over and that Dave stayed until about 4 a.m. last night. I asked him WTF happened since it wasn't meant to be a big night, and he said they were initially drinking beers, but then moved to margaritas and lost

track of time. I asked what they were doing all that time, literally nine and a half hours. And he said that it took them about three hours to make his D&D character, and then after that Dave asked him to teach him how to DJ, my boyfriend makes music slash DJs. I didn't say anything further than just asking him what happened last night, and he'll be seeing Dave again tonight for the D&D thing. This entire situation has seriously bothered me. call me insecure, but I am not comfortable with my boyfriend spending one-on-one alone time all night with anyone who has expressed deep feelings for him, let alone someone who completely disrespected me in order to try and convince my boyfriend to get with him. I know that my boyfriend is not gay,

but to me I feel just the same as I would feel had it been a girl who was interested in him. Even if nothing is going to happen, it feels like he's entertaining someone's interest, particularly someone who clearly doesn't respect our relationship. Should I speak to my boyfriend about this? What would I even say? Comments where OPP has replied. Commentator asks OOP about her boyfriend's identity and if his religion or background plays a role in this situation.

And also if this affects the boyfriend to seek for attention from people. OOP, I appreciate the advice. I agree that I can't say for 100% certain that he's not gay, I am just going off of trust ATM. But this whole scenario doesn't make it easy considering, like you said, people can come out at any point in life. I wouldn't say he grew up in an overly religious household. His mom is Protestant and baptized him, but he refused to be confirmed and doesn't engage in any religious practices. His dad and siblings aren't religious either, and he has a gay uncle, so it doesn't seem like it would be a huge issue in the family,

but of course religion may not always be the reason to stay in the closet. I've seen some consensus that he may like the attention, which I honestly hadn't thought of at all. I could really see this as being the case just based off of his personality. He may think it's harmless, but it really has brought up an insecurity. I think I will approach it as being more about the drama than anything about his sexuality, as I don't think that would go down well at all. Other commentator asks if the fact that the boyfriend hid from OOP was a red flag for her and if she had any concerns and how she felt about it.

OOP the fact that he didn't tell me was a big thing that played on my mind for a while, and I also felt like it was a red flag. For now I am trusting that he's not exploring his sexuality while we are in a relationship, and that he's not lying to me about anything, but of course I'll never be 100% sure. I do want to note that he and I have access to each other's phones and find my iPhone, so I think if there were anything to hide in terms of sexuality, he definitely wouldn't have done that. This was after everything with Dave as well. I do think what you said about him perhaps romanticizing the incident could be spot on. He's probably not thought about Slash as ignoring how much it hurt my feelings. I also felt like he should have kept a greater distance after everything.

Maybe I've been too passive about my feelings towards it, so I think I will speak to him about how I feel. Chuck Greenwald no one said it yet, so I'm just going to float it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't know how to shut Dave down. He might be afraid of seeming homophobic or being accused of that by Dave for rejecting his feelings. You might think that's weird, but there's tons of people out there who interpret rejection of their feelings as rejection of their identity and get extremely vicious in response. Plenty of people have had their lives ruined by someone accusing them of bigotry for not giving

into their feelings. Dave sounds super catty, so if your boyfriend said he was scared of him starting something, I'd believe it. Just a theory, though. You're right to feel disrespected and wanting it to stop. I just think your boyfriend might be in a tough spot here, especially if he has any anxiety or people-pleasing tendencies. Oop this has blown my mind.

It seriously never occurred to me. but my boyfriend is 100% a people-pleaser. I understand what you're saying about Dave potentially getting nasty if he felt rejected for his sexuality slash identity, and could see it as a possibility. Dave has also recently been promoted to my boyfriend's supervisor at work, though this wasn't the case when he admitted his feelings. So maybe that could also be a factor?

I'm not sure, but what you've said is definitely something I'll think about. Still can't see if this was a female friend who had revealed her feelings and your BF went out and got drunk and spent the night at her place. I'd be telling you he's fucking the friend or about to do so. It makes no difference it's a gay dude. Your BF seems to like attention and hate boundaries. I wouldn't stick around. Oop this is exactly my problem with the whole situation. If it were a girl, he would know that's not acceptable, so why should it be any different with a guy?

Fun underscore Diver underscore 3,885 so rather than him distancing Dave to protect his relationship he is compartmentalizing you like two separate lives. That's not good at all. You desperately need to sit down with him with no distractions. Please let us know what happens. Uppi agree. I've messaged him to say we need to talk, but he's still out at this D&D game. Apparently a different friend drove him there, so he said he can't leave until that friend

is ready to go. I made it clear that we need to speak tonight. With all the feedback I've gotten, I'm really not willing to wait any longer to have this conversation. I'll update once I've had the chat with him. Update 2. Before I get into the update, I just want to say thank you to everyone who shared their advice. My BF and I had a long talk last night, and a lot of you helped me actually verbalize my feelings towards this situation. So my BF called me immediately after he got home from the D&D game, and I just got straight into it with him. By the time he got home I was already stewing after reading everyone's perspectives on the situation, and I think I shocked him with how forceful I was from the get-go. We've not really had arguments like that before.

I started by saying I am uncomfortable with the fact that Dave stayed over till 4 a.m., one-on-one with him, and they got wasted. He seemed surprised and completely oblivious that it would bother me to this level, and he asked me to explain why I was feeling this way. I told him it's totally unacceptable that he and Dave spent basically the whole night together, when Dave has actively tried to sleep with him and disrespected me and our relationship in the process. I told him that he needs to have boundaries with Dave, given all that has happened. His response to this was that Dave said these things a couple months ago, and that he doesn't think Dave still fancies him like that, or ever really did. He basically said that Dave was super drunk when he made his admission,

but it wasn't that serious, especially since he's not gay or curious, and doesn't reciprocate Dave's feelings at all. I told him whether he took it seriously or not, the whole situation was serious to me, and that I feel extremely disrespected by both of them. I told him if this was a girl who admitted her feelings for him, and they stayed up together, one on one, until 4 a.m., I would immediately think something sketchy is going on, because you don't entertain someone like that when you're in a relationship. Just because Dave is a boy that doesn't make it okay, and he should still have the same boundaries he would for a girl who says she's into him, propositions him, and talks shit about me. He didn't really agree with this argument because he said it's different.

In that scenario there's a chance of attraction slash sexual activity, but with Dave there isn't. I told him that in any situation, with anyone, there's that chance, regardless if he considers himself straight. How am I meant to trust that things wouldn't happen when Dave has already expressed his desire to have sex with him, and they were very drunk and alone together? In what world would I be comfortable with the fact that he's chosen to spend one on one time with Dave until the early hours of the night, knowing Dave is contempt for me and our relationship. At the bare minimum, he's showing Dave that it's okay to disrespect me slash us, and that Dave still has his attention after all of this, potentially leading Dave on since he has a sexual

attraction towards my boyfriend. He told me he understands my POV, but it wasn't like that and he didn't plan to have Dave stay that late anyway. I asked him to take me through the entire night and explained to me why they would need to hang out for almost 10 hours. He said that when Dave came over they worked on his DND character slash Dave explained how to play for about three hours, and they were having a couple of beers until Dave asked for something else to drink. Then they FaceTimed another coworker who was hosting the D&D event and stayed on call for like two hours or more. Apparently it went from D&D conversation to gossip about work, etc. He said after that he was showing Dave the music he's made sense.

slash how to produce and DJ, and they just lost track of time. I asked him how he could lose track of so much time when I was messaging him at 11 p.m. slash 12 a.m. to say good night. He knew what time it was at that point, so why wasn't Dave on his way out by then? I told him the whole thing was sketchy, which he took slight offense too, asking me what I'm trying to insinuate and saying it seems like I don't trust him. He said, in terms of the lateness, he honestly doesn't know how that happened and that he was shocked when he checked the time, and asked Dave to leave as soon as he realized. He said he did never think the situation was suspicious and that, from his perspective, Dave doesn't have feelings for him so the whole night was innocent slash they were back to being the same friends

as they were before Dave's admission. I told him it can never go back, even if he thinks Dave doesn't have ulterior motives. Dave put this out there and that can't be taken back. His behavior needs to change and boundaries need to be put in place. I told him that, without putting boundaries, he is essentially keeping things open from Dave's perspective. He told me that initially when this entire situation happened, he distanced himself from Dave, except for when at work slash work event slash group outings, which is a lot of the time, so I'm not sure how distant that is. Nevertheless, he said they haven't met up one-on-one together for like two months. I'm pretty sure they have, but I will concede that he hasn't told me they've been alone at each other's houses since

the admission, more so just the pub, if anything, but I could be wrong, he may just have not mentioned another person joining them. I couldn't remember the specific occasions where I thought they did, though, so I couldn't really challenge him on that one. Anyway, he said their friendship was different because he felt awkward, which he didn't make clear to me at all, he always seemed like it didn't phase him at all and it appeared to me that nothing had changed between them. He told me that they ended up having a chat a few weeks ago, where Dave apologized for what he did and told him that he didn't mean anything he said. He also said that, because it happened a few months ago, he's just moved on from it now and decided to forgive and forget.

I told him while he can forgive, he can't forget, because this has happened now and their friendship has to be different going forward, for the sake of his partner and relationship. I also asked him why he never told me about this talk and he said he didn't think any of this was a big issue for me, so it didn't occur to him that this would be something I'd want to know. This then led to us arguing about the fact that he doesn't share information with me slash tells white lies slash omits things, including when the Dave thing initially happened. I said that I always tell him immediately if anyone makes a pass at me and even used an example of a friend, let's call him Bill, who had touched me in a sexual way on a night out and said to my

best friend that he has feelings for me. When that happened I literally called my boyfriend the same night while he was on holiday, as I knew I would be seeing Bill for two upcoming group events, including New Year's Eve, both of which I invited my boyfriend to. He tried to deflect by saying that he didn't know Bill had verbally said he had feelings for me, and that I only said that I think Bill has a crush on me, insinuating it's the same situation as him and Dave, which I thought was ridiculous and told him he's just trying to find a loophole for his own behavior. I asked him if he would be okay with me and Bill spending all night together getting drunk. He said obviously not, but again, he thinks it's different, especially since the Bill thing happened more recently.

I told him, by his logic, that means it'll be okay for me to do that as long as I wait a couple weeks slash months. We continued going back and forth a bit. He apologized for making me feel upset and uncomfortable and said that it was never his intention, he just truly thought the whole thing with Dave was behind them. He also apologized if he came off defensive. He said maybe he's been naive, but he really did not believe that Dave still had any feelings for him or ulterior motives in spending time with him. He also said that it's become more difficult for him now that Dave is his supervisor, because he essentially controls all his shifts slash holidays, etc. And that if he alienates him it might impact all of that. He asked me if I want him to cut off Dave for good,

because he's not sure how he can do that given his work situation, and the fact that they often do group gatherings slash events. He said it's kind of sad because Dave had been a good friend to him and they get along. I told him that if Dave was a good friend, he wouldn't have put him in this position, and that all of this is a consequence of what Dave did, this isn't something I wanted to happen, I've always wanted to have a good relationship with his friends. but it's not my fault at the end of the day, and he said it's not his fault either. I told him that, while I am not okay with them spending a lone time, I do understand that there's not much he can do to avoid him at work.

He told me that he has no problem with doing that or putting more boundaries, as he doesn't ever want to disrespect me, he just wasn't aware that this was something that bothered me this much. He also said that since he's looking for a new job, he doubts Dave will be in his life to this degree much longer. We did touch on other things during this conversation, but we weren't able to get into everything as it was about 2 a.m. at this point and I had work in the morning. We are going to speak more again tonight and hopefully resolve other things, mostly about how I feel I'm being treated, after some

comments on the OG thread brought this to my attention. Again, I want to thank everyone for their input. I don't think I would have been brave enough to discuss this if most of you didn't validate my feelings. comments where op has replied. Cultural underscore shape 3518 he also said that it's become more difficult for him now that Dave is his supervisor, because he essentially controls all his shifts slash holidays, etc., and that if he alienates him it might impact all of that. Honestly, if Dave isn't either prepared to draw a firm boundary between his personal relationship with your boyfriend and their dynamic at work, or to back off the friendship himself so there's no opportunity to get that twisted, that's also a strike against him being a good guy with no ulterior motives.

I understand that possibility might not make the idea of alienating him any less scary, but your boyfriend needs to recognize he can't use that as his excuse and simultaneously claim you shouldn't have any issues with Dave. Oop I totally agree, I'm surprised he is slash was oblivious to Dave's potential motives. To me, Dave doesn't seem like a good guy at all, Good friends do not try to convince you to get with them and insult your relationship in the process. I hope I made him aware of how wrong they both are to try and continue their friendship without boundaries. Also, something to add, he mentioned last night that Dave has been calling him fat now,

which is partly why he thinks Dave is not sexually attracted to him, and that this has become a joke with his work colleagues, some started calling him beefy, which is just. I honestly don't understand how he could be friends with him. He seems awful to to me. My boyfriend probably plays it off like it's nothing, but he does have slight body image issues, and I'm sure deep down it plays on his mind, though he would never admit it. Sching 404 Wait, Wait, Wait. Your B.F. had his boss hit on him, tried to break up his relationship, spends hours together late into the evening, and is now disparaging him physically at work. Does your BF know he's being nagged and sexually harassed?

Oop my mind immediately went to nagging too. I hope you enjoy this story. Outrageous bride Zilla Luna humiliated me and used me as her personal cash machine, all the while deceiving and controlling my own sibling with a false pregnancy. I decided to reveal the truth and call off the arrangement. The wedding Look my brother, M38, Aaron is super smart bookwise, but can be a fool when it comes to affairs of the heart. I am not mad at him about this and I don't want to hurt him but.

Heather, F-27, is Sith Lord of a Woman, powerful, manipulative, and ugly underneath their masks. It sucks more because I introduced them. Heather and I, F-32, met playing D&D and we stayed in touch after that group disbanded. She met Aaron at my birthday party and they dated in secret for a year before telling me and our mutual friends. They got engaged at my next birthday party and he asked me to be his best woman, a female best man. Because he and I have always been incredibly close and Heather frowned at him and said that was ridiculous and I obviously should be her most since we're friends and a female and woman go on the bride's side. The moment became awkward and I told them I am happy to stand for them on either side because

at the end of the day it's about them as a couple, not the individuals, and whatever they wanted I'm an idiot. I can list in great detail all the disturbances and the force that should have told me she was far more trouble than she was worth even if she were encrusted in diamonds, but my brother had been deliriously happy and I rolled a one on inside, I guess. The short list of problems was that Heather assumed the MO is also the wedding planner, point of contact to the bride, free makeup artist, and pays for the bridesmaid dresses and the bachelorette party. I compromised by committing to doing the makeup for free, I did modeling in my twilight. In my 20s and know how to make do, help plan the wedding with her and my brother, but could not

financially pay for the dresses she wanted. I would pay for mine but not the others, and the party, so I offered to do one and she picked the dresses, the more expensive, and I paid it without complaint. She had all the bridesmaids except for me pay for the whole bachelorette trip, even those who couldn't come, but blasted me in the group chat about it like apologizing for the cost of the trip since ops not financially contributing which led to the girls asking me how and why I ended up not paying anything. Things like that kept happening. I am going to pause here and say my brother is a senior staff engineer at a huge tech company and teaches programming at a huge school, so he makes plenty of money. When I asked my brother why he wasn't helping pay for stuff

at the wedding, he looked incredibly puzzled and asked what I meant. I immediately shut up realizing I stepped in it and he said Heather insisted she pay for her half of the wedding and they joint pay the joint parts, cake, venue, etc. to say to her haters she's not marrying him for his money. I know I am the awe for stepping in that one, I admit. There's more but I don't want this to be a novel, so I will jump to the part one might be more law four. I hosted the bridesmaids and Heather at a planning party she wanted and we sat, working on odds and ends and drinking lots of wine, when one of the girls, Amber F-20, asked if she can change her hair color. Her own wedding is coming up and she got a long waitlisted spot with a salon on her wish list to dye her hair

and she wanted to go red. For a note, I am black and use weave to shade and style my hair in crimson red twists. Amber said she would want about my shade and that it complimented my skin tone. Heather chuckled a bit at that and I kind of looked at her like what? And she said that it was fine and she's no bridezilla, but she would prefer only one of us look that tacky. I felt hurt as Heather knew me before I went red years ago and back then told me how great I looked and that I glowed and now I'm tacky. I asked her if she meant it that way and she shrugged and said it's about the people, not how good they look, she said. I didn't get it and the other girls started chiming in and Heather just said, oh my God, calm down I didn't mean anything wrong. I won't let Op ruin my wedding entirely.

It's really okay. We all are going to start looking different in our 30s, etc. I was the oldest of all the girls there and I kind of chuckles it away and said Heather was the one who gives me compliments on how much I still look young and like I did when I did fashion modeling. Nothing big just commercials and small local runways as it once was my dream to be like on Victoria's Secret or whatever amount. And she snorted something like you can't do runway now and you know it.

Okay. At this point I flat out asked her if she had something to say to me and she said that since I had been so sensitive about her asking me to do things, be wedding planner, paying for the party, etc. For her wedding she didn't want to bring it up, but she wanted me to change my look back to when you were so pretty like when we met that meant going back to my natural light brown hair, losing weight, I am 5 feet 7 inches and 120 pounds in wearing shapewear to fit in a smaller dress. Then she said, look at these lovely ladies, right? It would mean a lot to me if you all could shine up there, I said that was hurtful and I liked how I look now. I had lots of body issues

trying for that dream in my 20s and skipped meals, drank too much and worse, and hated my body. Now I do have curves and I love them. I offered to wear a wig for the wedding if my hair color was an issue and she just got quiet and changed the subject. To keep from everyone watching me get upset I just shook the wine bottle and laughed something about it getting empty and saying I was going to the kitchen to get a fresh bottle. Heather was there after a couple minutes and started saying, Hey, you know I love you no matter how you look, babe and I just shot, but I looked tacky. And she shrugged and said that's why she didn't want to ask me. She knew I wouldn't focus on anything other than perceived slights. I handed her the new wine bottle to

bring in and I stepped outside to calm down. It's still on my mind. The wedding is this summer I am kicking myself for being sensitive. It's messing with my head. Now I can't even dream of standing up in front of everyone we all know in a bright dress. The M.O. dress is a different color and cut than the other bridesmaids. The way I am, but a part of me thinks I am letting her under my skin and should not worry about how I look. I don't want to be M.O. regardless, though, Wippita if I step down. I don't even know what I would tell my brother.

Sorry for the nerdy references. It's a coping mechanism. Edit, couple of FAQs and things I didn't think to add. Brother has a pre-nup. It wasn't really a trust thing, but he just figured it would be there for them to point at and rebuffy rumors that she is with him for money and I am told she enthusiastically agreed. She does not have a full-time job, she works retail and does some theater work at my job as an actor. She lives with her sister and sisters special.

in the city as she is in school, she took a few years gap from high school to college. Her sister is kind of how we met as she is part of my gaming group. I do not work in software not do I make a lot of money compared to my brother. I am single and live alone and make okay money in non-profit theater to survive. Aaron and I don't have any other family. We've been each other's family after I came out as bisexual and our grandfather disowned me. Aaron went no contact out of support for me. We are also not biological siblings as Aaron is adopted and I am miracle baby.

Our dad walked out when I was a kid and our mom passed away when I was a teen. Update 1. I tried to write this update on my original post but it got too long. So sorry but I am a bit emotional and at this point tipsy. I immediately got comments saying the similar thing that I would be the odd to not tell my brother the truth. It was devastating and I admit some of the comments were worded in a way that really hurt, but at the end of the day I was asked if I was okay with Aaron marrying a person who will hurt him and something in my brain clicked. I love my brother more than anything and I realize now I was being spineless and selfish

to not come to him with this. From the beginning of me being M. O. Heather monopolized my time. I can pinpoint exact moments I was slowly pushed out of regular contact with Aaron. If I was not working or doing my side gigs, all my time was on the phone with her or footing the bill at dinners and lunches with her over the wedding. Someone mentioned that she was trying to keep me and Aaron from spending time and I realized they were right. Anytime I called him and she was there she would take the phone to talk wedding stuff, etc. I would be so worn out at the end of my days I wouldn't even reply to texts. I feel so stupid. I was a coward and so afraid of

my only family I forgot to be family to him and that's hard to even type, but it's true. Aaron called me early, apparently a bridesmaid who was at my house the night I mentioned in my last post, Sophia F-26, who is one of our good friends apparently suggest he reach out to me and when he asked why she didn't say. I didn't realize, but I have been miserable since that party at my house. I didn't know how much I seemed off. It was brought to my attention how far out I seemed in public and how withdrawn I've been in general. Aaron called and asked if I was all right. I know the wedding is stressful, Heather has been a wreck.

And I snapped and just started crying and hung up. He was at my place within the hour and I told him everything. I don't remember seeing him so mad in my life. I am skipping a bunch to be brief. He asked me how much I spent on the wedding and I just handed him my phone with my bank app and the bridesmaid chat all open, and he scrolled and asked me why I would not mention this to him. I explained, and he shook his head. He wrapped me in a hug and told me not to worry and ordered us food. After he left, Sophia texted me and Aaron in a new group chat with the three of us

some recordings from when she was making tick-ticks and the like and various bridesmaid events with Heather in the background and nothing more. I saw it indicated Aaron saw it, but he hasn't said anything yet other than, I will use a fake name for myself as I have the others, Francesca, turn off your phone if you can. I will drop by tonight. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and am on my couch drinking and waiting. Update 2. Quick random update. I am a bottle of wine and so forgive my dyslexia I am doomed scrolling Reddit and Facebook and Heather has blocked me on Facebook and through an app for my texts I can see she's texted many times. I have opened nothing and won't until Aaron arrives. In the meantime I, I

am truly in, good, tears over your support and advice. I was never a strong person, that was our mom, but you and my friends make me feel strong and I cannot express my gratitude. I will update when I can but it may be tomorrow as I am passing that line of tipsy into more than tipsy LOL. But seriously. Thank you all so much. Update 3. My Venmo popped up and Heather's sister Haley just sent me money, no description on it. Just a bride emoji. Also Aaron says he is on the way. As I am on Facebook I am seeing more of the girls in the bridal party and different chats having issues with Heather. I am more of an insta slash Twitter gal so never even saw it. I am messaging them back now. Editing in to say I am trying to post the update but having issues may have to make it

two separate posts. Update 4. Star Date, the next morning, y'all encouraged my nerdy side, sorry, LOL. Happy weekend, everyone. I was shook at how much my notifications blew up more than the Death Star. Bear with me as I soared through everything because it's a lot and I had a lot of wine last night's stress drinking and today I am slightly paying for that, LOL. I'm dyslexic, but we'll do my best here and try take my time. First, some background that came up in the comments. Some of you called it, but yes, I suffer from an abusive relationship myself. He doesn't even deserve a nerdy fun name, so we will just call him Jeff. Jeff was emotionally and physically harmful to me and encouraged my dieting in my 20s

constantly calling me fat, etc. And that was him being nice. Whenever I tried to leave, he would either intimate or gaslight me or both. The short of it is, Aaron finally figure out what was happening as I had gone so long. low contact with him and let's just say you wouldn't like Aaron when he's angry. Jeff is so far in my rearview one would think he's a mirage. Also I finally watched all the recordings Sophia sent Aaron and I there just snippets that she never posted due to lighting slash noise slash or something being said that she didn't want on the internet but with Heather somewhere in it or heard in the background.

Not all of it was her hurling insults at me as some are from outings I could not attend and she put down others. I mentioned before Sophia is close to both Aaron and I and we have sibling like love for one another and also that Sophia is gay. One video is just Sophia holding her phone down as Heather explains why Sophia's girlfriend can't be at the wedding. You guessed it, Heather checked the homophob box. She just hit big at Bingo. I am so embarrassed I ever thought she was my friend. Many other videos were Heather's put downs to me. Sophia even managed to get the tacky convoy from the point after Heather called me tacky the first time on.

There is much more to add I will put another update on with what happened last night. Update 5, onto what happened. By the time Aaron got back to my place, I was less tipsy and more wine drunk. He looked at me and said I needed to lay off the celestial absinthe, D&D joke. He looked exhausted. I apologized as I felt I had imploded his life and he snapped at me something like Don't you dare apologize for telling me the truth ever. And what on about how hurt he was I never told him about any of it?

I apologized and he reminded me of Jeff and how bad things could have gone if he hadn't figured out what Jeff was doing to me. I suffered in silence and things could have escalated and he could have lost me. I am all he has and he would never have forgiven me or himself. I told him he was right and from now on no lies and no secrets between us. He made me pinky swear, like we did when we were kids. He then told me what happened. He got to his house and listened to every single one of the recordings.

He had sent himself items and screenshots from my phone, including all the payments he could find of what I spent and calculated it. He wrote me a check and the total is staggering. I don't know if everyone is like this, but sometimes it is hard to keep. a running tally on a specific expense over time if you just spend a little here and a little there over a year. But let's just say the check will replenish my lost savings and then some. He then called Heather over under the guise of wanting to have dinner with her. When she arrived, he was sitting in his living room and acting casual. He was recording the whole conversation on his computer nearby where he teaches tech,

so the audio was perfect when he played it back to me except for when Heather was moving about his house doing things here and there in other rooms as she talked to him. But he stayed on the couch by the desk. He was casual and asked about the wedding planning she lamented how much there was to do, but how excited she was. He asked about me how is Francesca doing? I haven't been able to catch up with her and Heather said something about how she is trying to coach me on being a MO, but that it's fine as she just wants him to be happy and have

his adoptive sister in the wedding. Aaron and I never used the word adoptive. He is simply my brother. Adopted or no. I never knew she used that term when I wasn't around. I can't quite pin it down as to why, there's nothing wrong with him being adopted or anything, but it just didn't sit well with me. He kept it chill asking her questions he already knew answers to and she clearly would lie to him.

He brought up the money and maybe he should contribute since he does make more and he doesn't mind. That's when the big lies happened. She claimed to have worked many shifts and saving a lot of money and the like to pay for her half. Then she blamed me on the super expensive bridesmaid dresses claiming I made a big deal about not looking my best in the much more affordable dresses she had wanted, etc., but made it out like she compromised by yielding to what I wanted even though it was more expensive. I am making this really short, but she made me out to be this diva and would imply how I must talk him into buying me expensive things.

and that the Bachelorette was going to be her biggest expense because I am a city girl and would not stand for a small dinner which is what Heather wanted. Absolute wookie poo-poo, but whatever. Aaron toyed around a little longer before saying, hey, you should come listen to this and started playing some of the videos. You can hear Heather saying things like who is that. That sounds like me, but that's not me, but he kept playing them until she just goes, what is this about? He said he knew the truth and is giving her the chance to tell him the truth. She pretended she didn't know what he meant and Aaron just said allow me to be very clear. I know you've been lying to me.

So tell me the truth. She started crying and asking why he's doing this to her and asked what she did to deserve this and he got angry. He stated lying wasn't even the worst but how he treated me. His sister and Heather's supposed friend. A lot was said between them but he never raised. his voice and at one point she was screaming and he said, I won't even speak to you if you're just going to yell they argued more and he told her to get out, and that the wedding is off. He said he expects her to pay me and him back for all the expenses or he will bring her to court

and then as she was crying he called her sister Haley to tell her that Heather is on her way back home and laid out everything so Haley knew exactly why they were calling it off. The recording ends there, but according to Aaron, he put Heather's things in her sister's car for her, yes, I am pedally specific about Heather not owning a car, and locked her out. She stayed at the door crying for a minute and left. Aaron says he took a moment to cool down when the drama started back up. Out of all the bridesmaids, only one was singularly Heather's and not a mutual friend of ours or a friend of mine or errands. Kim hated me at the very beginning because she is Heather's true best friend and should have been the M.O. but made up some crap

that I threw a fit I wasn't important in the wedding so long-suffering Heather bent a knee and made me M.O. Kim called Aaron and yelled at him that Heather is at her house heartbroken and depressed because the other girls lied to him to make her look bad. Heather is willing to forgive him and take him back, but he needs to acknowledge the truth. She said Heather would only get mean to defend herself from us ganging up on her and that Kim witnessed it firsthand. She told him I was the worst one and would make snide remarks to Heather about taking my brother away from me and how now I was alone and had no one. She implied something else that I won't repeat here because it's disgusting but a hem-luck and space mom, if you know you know. Then she dropped that Heather is also

pregnant and the stress cannot be good for her or the baby. Aaron said that he was almost considering talking to Heather and seeing things from her perspective because he was dumb and he did think he had loved her but it was the last parts that snapped him out of it. He said, if Heather perceived she was being attacked, he almost felt bad, but he also knew me well enough to know that I am far too not confrontational, then Wham Baby? He told Kim that this is impossible as Heather's rule was no intercourse until marriage and he respected that, but now Kim and Heather are claiming that he was drunk one night and he and Heather did the deed and must not remember as he was practically passed out for most of it, which I won't begin to even touch that here,

but I have never felt more angry in my life. Aaron doubts this as he has never been so drunk he would forget things and on top of that, why would she keep it a secret from him after the fact? More to it, but those are the cliff notes. It was late and Sophia couldn't come over so we facetined her to thank her. She and her girlfriend were eager to hear what happened in Aaron told the whole thing over again and Sophia's girlfriend Lettie told Aaron to immediately demand a medical confirmation of pregnancy and a paternity test as well as if Heather pinned down the when and where.

She reminded Aaron that he has cameras all over his home and in the main room so this can be easily disproven, but to also tread carefully because she can see a mile away that if Aaron refuses to be conned by that Medusa A dollar homeworld or wannabe, she will try to spin it making him an aggressor. She is pre-law and her dad's an attorney, so Aaron will call him today and will speak to Heather only through his attorney going forward. We also open some of Heather's texts to meet together and screenshots each one, but I was sleepy because of the wine and fell asleep. When I woke up, Aaron was on my tablet still reading and screen sewing, and he seemed oddly chipper. I asked what's up and he informed me that Heather's sister Haley reached out and she will be going

to the doctor with Heather to see if Heather is really pregnant, but Haley is doubtful as she never mentioned it nor has Haley noticed any signs. It seems Haley is on his side and over her shit he also wants to thank Sophia and the other bridesmaids for helping us and is thinking about keeping the venue and just having a party in place of the wedding, but he isn't sure. Honestly, I don't think he slept and he looks awful so I cancelled all my plans and am going to make sure he rests and takes care of himself. Nothing has been decided, but he now sees how manipulative Heather can be. I know he is heartbroken, but he's putting on a face for everyone. I know far too well eventually he will need to mourn the relationship and I am determined to be here when he does.

I think that's everything for now. I wanted to share with everyone who has been so supportive of us even if it meant kicking me in the pants to get me to be honest with my brother. To my fellow brown coats and rebels, thanks for helping me feel a part of a broader nerdom, it feels awesome. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered that my spouse's female excursion was actually a romantic escape with her secret companion. They were both caught off guard when I arrived at the retreat with separation documents. I am coping with the situation. One of the worst situations of my life, discovering that my marriage has been nothing but lies. For the past few months, I've been reading through relationship subredits, trying to spot any warning signs of a failing marriage.

That constant reading made me more aware of small changes in behavior, which helped me figure out what was happening. My wife wasn't who I thought she was, and I was blind to it for years. I used to think our relationship was special and different from others, but now I realize I was just being naive about the whole thing. I've been married to Rose for almost six years now. We had this really interesting meeting at best by when I was picking parts for a custom PC build. She came up to me while looking lost in the monitor section, probably because I had about five different spec sheet spread out in front of me. We clicked right away over our shared interest in technology. She was building her first gaming setup, and I helped her pick out the perfect monitor

for her needs. We ended up getting coffee after, and she told me about her job as a software developer. I was working in IT at the time, so we had plenty to talk about. Our relationship moved pretty quickly after that initial meeting. We dated for three years, during which we moved and together and adopted a cat. I proposed during a weekend trip to Seattle, where we were attending a gaming convention. The wedding was perfect, small and intimate, just how we wanted it. Now looking back at all those memories, it feels like I was living in a fantasy world where everything seemed perfect but wasn't real at all. Rose has these two close friends, Sophia and Lisa, who she's known since college. The three of them are inseparable, they have weekly video calls, go on trips together,

and celebrate all major life events as a group. I got to know them pretty well over the years, and we developed a friendly relationship. While I wouldn't consider them my closest friends, we get along great at social gatherings and occasionally hang out as couples since they're both married too. They've been there for all our important moments, from our engagement party to our housewarming. The first red flag appeared when I came home early from work one day and found Rose on a call with Sophia and Lisa. She was sitting in our home office, but as soon as I walked in, she completely changed her tone and body language. It wasn't like her usual casual conversations with them, she got all weird and started speaking in this forced, casual way. I tried to do

joke about what they were discussing, but she brushed it off with some vague answer about weekend plans. The whole interaction felt off, especially since she's usually super open about her conversations with them. I decided to hang around near the office door after leaving the room, mostly because her behavior was so unusual. I could hear her whispering, which was strange since she's usually loud and animated when talking to her friends. They were discussing some trip, and there were multiple mentions of he and him in the conversation. I knew about their planned girls' trip to Cabo, but the way they were talking about it seemed really suspicious. The secret of tone and the mention of some guy didn't add up with what I knew about their vacation plans. Rose had mentioned this

upcoming Cabo trip with her friends a few weeks ago. It seemed normal enough, they try to do a big trip together every year, like their weekend in Vegas last summer and their ski trip to Colorado the year before. I thought about joining them since I had some vacation days saved up, but Rose seemed hesitant when I brought it up. She said something about keeping their tradition of girls-only trips, and I didn't push it. My work schedule was packed anyway with a big server migration project that would keep me busy. After she got off the phone, her behavior changed completely. She came up behind me while I was working, hugging me and being extra affectionate. We've always been close, but this felt different, like she was overcompensating for something. It reminded me

of how things were right after we had that rough patch last year when she was spending too much time at work with her new project team. She would stay late at the office and then come home being super attentive, almost like she felt guilty about something. I've checked her phone before when things felt off, like during that work project phase when she was getting texts at odd hours. Nothing came up then, but this time felt different. We share our phone passwords, it started when we needed to access each other's phones for emergency contacts and just never changed. Over nine years together, you develop a sense of when something isn't right, and this definitely wasn't right. I waited until she was in the shower and went through her

messages with Sophia and Lisa. Instead of their usual group chat full of memes and complaints about their husbands, they were talking about her trip, not their trip. The messages were full of excited emojis and comments like he's going to love that new bikini and make sure to take lots of pictures for us. They were acting like teenagers planning a secret date, not three married women in their 30s. The more I scrolled through their chat, the worse it got. Mixed in with their normal conversations about work and family were these secretive messages about someone named Evan. Then I saw the photos, a guy who looked like he walked straight out of a dating app profile, posing by some lake without a shirt. There was another picture of him with his arm around my wife at what looked like a restaurant.

The timestamp showed it was from just two weeks ago, when Rose said she was having dinner with her work friends. His name was Evan, and somehow this guy had been part of my wife's life without me knowing anything about him. The chat was full of her friends commenting on how good they looked to get. and how excited they were about the Cabo trip. Sophia even wrote you two are going to have the best time with about 20 hard emojis. The Sophia who was at our house last weekend for dinner, acting completely normal while knowing my wife was planning a trip with another man. Both Lisa and Sophia were actively encouraging this whole thing.

Finding out your wife is planning a romantic getaway with another man hits different than just suspecting an affair. The messages showed they had booked connecting rooms. at some fancy resort in Cabo. They were planning dinners at expensive restaurants and scheduling couples massages. The whole thing was in their chat, complete with little heart emojis and excited messages about spending time together. I couldn't read anymore.

I put her phone back, grabbed my keys, and drove around the neighborhood for an hour, trying to process everything. When I got home, Rose was worried about where I'd gone. She kept asking if something was wrong. wrong at work, since I never just leave without saying anything. I made up some story about needing to clear my head after a stressful call with a client. We even sat down to watch TV together, and she cuddled up next to me like nothing was wrong. Meanwhile, I was looking through divorce laws on my phone. I know I had to end things, but just walking away felt too easy.

She would just move on with Evan, probably even move him into our house eventually. I started digging online, trying to find out who this Evan guy was. With his first name and the city they met in, I figured I could find something through social media. I needed to know who this person was that my wife chose over our marriage. But more than that, I needed to do something that would make them both realize they couldn't just walk away from this without consequences. The betrayal wasn't just from Rose, it was from her friends too, who sat at my dinner table and laughed at my jokes while helping plan this trip. Edit, someone here suggested showing up at their romantic getaway.

At first, it seemed crazy, spending thousands on last-minute flights and hotels just to confront them. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I had all their reservation details from the chat. I could show up with divorce papers and catch them together. It would cost a lot, especially with divorce lawyer fees coming up, but see you. Seeing their faces when I walked up to them at that resort would be worth every penny. Update 1. Looking back at these past two weeks, my life has turned into something straight out of those revenge movies I used to think were unrealistic.

The whole situation started when I discovered my wife was planning a romantic Cabo getaway with her a fair partner while pretending it was a girl's trip. Many people on Reddit warned me that these girls' trips were often covers for something else which is what I found out in my original post, but I never thought Rose would do this. We were also talking about starting a family next year. But I kept everything normal at home, not letting on that I knew about her plans. We had dinner together every night, watched our usual TV shows, and I even helped her pack for the trip. She kept talking about how much fun she'd have with Sophia and Lisa, showing me their group chat messages about spa appointments and beach activities. The whole time, I was working with a divorce lawyer and booking my own flight to Cobbara. The lawyer and I spent hours getting the divorce papers ready, making sure everything was properly documented.

He even suggested recording any confrontation for evidence. The last-minute plane ticket cost nearly as much as our entire honeymoon, but I didn't care. I used some of our emergency savings, seemed appropriate since this was definitely an emergency. I even booked a room at the same resort, though thankfully not on her floor. The morning of her flight, I drove her to the airport like any supportive husband would. I watched her walk through security with her new beach clothes and that expensive son had I had bought her for her birthday. I looked for Evan in the terminal but didn't spot him. He was probably on a different flight to avoid suspicion. While I was waiting for my evening flight, Rose kept sending me updates.

She texted pictures of her Ocean View room and the resort's infinity pool, talking about how much she missed me already. Each message just made me more certain about my plan. I packed light, just a backpack with the divorce papers, some clothes, and my phone to record after checking into the resort that night, I barely slept. I kept thinking about all our years together, how we met at that electronic store, our first apartment with the broken AC, all leading up to this moment. The divorce papers were in my backpack. My lawyer had highlighted where she needed to sign, and we'd gone over every detail to make sure nothing could be contested. He'd even added documentation about the trip expenses and how they were used to facilitate

the affair. The whole thing was ready to go, all that was left was to find them together and make sure she couldn't deny what she'd done. The next morning, I texted Rose casually asking about her plans. She sent back a poolside selfie and mentioned she'd be sunbathing before exploring the town with the girls later. Her message included details about which pool she was at, the main one near the lobby with the swim-up bar. That was all I needed. I got dressed, put the divorce papers in my bag, and headed down there. I spotted them right away at the far end of the pool deck. Rose was stretched out on a lounger in that new blue bikini, supposedly for her girl's trip. Next to her was Evan, as he casually rubbed sunscreen on her leg.

They looked completely comfortable together, like they'd done this many times before. I thought about all the times she said she was working late or meeting her friends, wondering if she was really with him. I started recording on my phone and slipped it into my shirt pocket, my lawyer had emphasized getting evidence if possible. Standing behind them felt surreal, Evan glanced up at me but didn't seem concerned, probably thinking I was just another hotel guest. He kept talking to Rose about their dinner plans for that evening, completely oblivious.

She had her eyes closed, sunglasses on, enjoying the attention from her affair partner while her husband was supposedly back home working. Evan finally looked up again and asked if he could help me, sounding annoyed at the interruption. That's when Rose finally noticed me. She sat up so fast she knocked over her drink, rubbed her eyes like she was seeing things, and then just stared at me with her mouth open. Her reaction told me everything, she never expected me to find out, let alone show up here. The weeks of lying, the secret planning, her friends covering for her, it was all about to blow up in her face. I pulled out the

Manila envelope and held it out to Rose. She took it, probably already guessing what was inside. We just signed refinancing papers for our house last month, so she knew what legal documents look like. Evan stood up, puffing out his chest like he was ready for a fight. I'd seen his type before at the gym, guys who think they can intimidate their way out of any situation. He was a bit taller than me. Evan put his hand on my chest and tried pushing me back, acting tough in front of Rose. She tried pulling him away, probably remembering how I knocked some sense on to a drunk guy who got aggressive with her a few weeks ago. But Evan wasn't backing down. He kept his hand on my chest and started talking about how I needed to leave them alone.

The whole situation was ridiculous. This guy was telling me to leave while he was on a romantic vacation with my wife. The next few seconds happened fast, his push got more aggressive, and I reacted by shoving him hard. He stumbled backward over a lounge chair and fell straight into the pool. I couldn't help laughing at the sight of him splashing into the water. Some people around the pool started recording on their phones, probably thinking this would make a good social media post. Rose was freaking out, she tried the classic It's Not What It Looks Like Lyme, which was absurd considering she was in a bikini with another man at a couple's resort. I asked her about Sophia and Lisa, knowing full well they were probably at work back home. She opened the envelope just enough to see the divorce papers, then quickly closed it like that would make them disappear.

The tears started immediately, not the quiet crying from when her dad was sick, but full sobbing that drew even more attention from other guests. Evan was climbing out of the pool now, looking like a wet, angry cat. He was clearly ready to fight, but some guys from the nearby Cabana area stepped between us. One of them mentioned hotel security was coming, which was my cue to leave. I turned and walked away from the pool area, not looking back at the scene I'd just caused. Rose tried following me, still holding the divorce papers, but stopped when I looked at her.

Back in my room, I quickly packed my backpack. The front desk staff seemed concerned when I checked out early, probably having heard about the pool incident, but they called a taxi for me anyway. The whole thing took less than 30 minutes, I was there and gone like a hurricane. I spent six hours at the airport, sitting at an overpriced bar near my gate. The bartender kept the coffee coming while I watched the video I'd recorded over and over. There they were in crystal clear quality, my wife with another man at a resort we couldn't afford on our joint income. The timestamp would be perfect for the divorce proceedings.

The whole trip cost me nearly $3,000 between the flight, hotel, and airport expenses, but their faces and having that video evidence was worth every penny. That night back home, I turned off my phone and had that. the best sleep since discovering her texts. Rose showed up at our house two days later, still wearing her beach clothes and looking like she hadn't slept. She started crying and saying she could explain everything, that Evan was just a friend from work, that nothing serious had happened between them. The same excuses she used when I questioned her about staying late at the office for team meetings. I told her to pack her things and go to her sister's place. Her sister had always given me

weird looks at family gatherings, like she knew something I didn't. Now I understood why. No calls or texts from Rose in the past few days. She's probably finally realized there's no fixing this. Her friends haven't reached out either, I guess they know their part in this mess. I changed the locks yesterday and moved all her plants from the backyard to the garage. Update two, after months of stress and legal battles, I can finally say this chapter of my life is over. The divorce is finalized, and I'm starting to feel like myself again. Finding out about Rose's affair destroyed the image I had of our perfect marriage. But at least now I know the truth, and I got to watch her perfect little plan fall apart at that resort.

The video of Evan falling into the pool has become a favorite among my friends, though I keep telling them to stop sharing it. Rose waited a week after the Cabo incident before reaching out. She sent a long text about needing space to think things through, like she was the one who needed time to process everything. During that week, her sister even tried calling me to explain how Rose was going through something and needed understanding. The betrayal went deeper than just Rose. Her entire friend group knew about Evan and encouraged their relationship. Sophia and Lisa, who had been bridesmaids at our wedding, helped plan the romantic getaway. The divorce was inevitable, there was no coming back from that level of deception.

Especially not after I saw them together at that resort, acting like teenagers in love while I was supposed to be working overtime to pay for our new roof. Our divorce lawyer was a real professional who knew exactly how to handle everything. The video from the resort was solid evidence, showing Rose clearly with another man on what was supposed to be a girl's trip. We also had screenshots from her group chat discussing their plans and several suspicious bank transactions. The lawyer particularly focused on a series of unexplained Uber rides to areas of town where Rose had no reason to be, and restaurant charges that were too high for just one person. There was even a hotel booking from three months ago when she claimed to be at a work conference. Going through our financial records was like uncovering a whole secret life.

We found charges for expensive lingerie stores on days she told me she was shopping for work clothes. There were coffee shop bills in parts of town near Evans' office, and various other small expenses that started painting a clear picture. The most damning was a receipt from a jewelry store, she had bought him a watch for his birthday while telling me she was picking up a gift for her dad. Every discovery just reinforced that ending the marriage was the right decision. The final settlement worked out heavily in my favor. Rose's lawyer initially pushed for half of everything, but backed down quickly when we presented

all the evidence of her affair expenses. They settled for me keeping the house in my car, while she got 30% of our savings, much less than she would have received normally. The judge wasn't impressed by how she'd used our joint funds to finance her affair, especially the Cabo trip. I even got to keep our dog Robin, who I didn't. think needed to be mentioned before, which was a huge relief since I'm the one who always walked him and took him to the vet anyway. Rose's family started calling as soon as word got out about the

divorce. Her parents, who had treated me like a son for the past nine years, were shocked when I told them everything. Her father, who had always bragged about how I was the perfect match for his daughter, went completely silent on the phone. Her mother, who used to invite me over every Sunday for dinner, kept asking if I was sure about what I'd seen. I explained about the Cabo incident, showed them the video, and detailed all the lies their daughter had told. Now they were learning their daughter had thrown it all away for an affair. The investigation into Evans' identity led me down an interesting path. A quick search through Rose's Facebook friends revealed that he was a regional sales manager at a competing tech company, married with two kids. His profile was

full of family photos, beach vacations, little league games, anniversary dinners. His wife looked like someone from a lifestyle magazine, and their house seemed perfect with its white picket fence and manicured lawn. The whole image screamed suburban happiness, but clearly, that wasn't enough for him. It made a sick kind of sense that he and Rose found each other, two people willing to destroy their marriages for some excitement. Contacting his wife was one of the hardest things I've done. I sent her a message explaining who I was, along with a video from Cabo and screenshots from Rose's group chat.

At first, she accused me of trying to cause trouble, saying I must have edited the video. She told me about their 15-year marriage, their kids' college funds, the anniversary stuff. But as she looked through all the evidence, especially the dates that matched his business trips, everything started falling into place. The shock turned to anger, then to a quiet determination. A week later, she messaged me back, thanking me for showing her the truth about her marriage. She had already contacted a divorce lawyer and moved in with her sister. The aftermath of all this has been intense but satisfying.

Both our marriages ended because two people couldn't stay faithful. The video of Evan falling into the pool somehow made its way on to several. several social media platforms. I can't confirm or deny my involvement in that. His company's HR department probably wasn't thrilled to see their regional sales manager getting pushed into a resort pool by an angry husband. I've heard through mutual friends that he moved to a different state after everything fell apart. As for Rose, she's staying with her sister while looking for an apartment. probably regretting how a few months of excitement cost her a stable marriage, our dream house, and most of her savings.

The lesson here is simple, if you can't be faithful, don't get married. The truth always comes out in the end. I hope you enjoy this story. Mother became fixated on government affairs and engaged in a deep connection with a man through the internet, then warned of unfairly blaming my father for a false accusation, when he refused to cover her online expenses. After their divorce. I, 16M, have always been, or at least was, very close to my mother,

I always knew that if I needed help, she would be there for me, regardless of what it was, my dad, 52M, on the other hand, though we loved each other, and still do, wasn't as involved in my personal life as much, usually having to know how I was feeling through my mom. This, however, changed some months ago. Around January, my mom started to obsess with politics and Twitter, not US politics, as I don't live there, spending more and more time on the side arguing with strangers and being on the phone with some of the friends she made there. As time went on, she slowly started to isolate herself from her family and friends, closing herself in her room barely speaking with my dad and I, the relationship between my parents. Hasn't been the best for the last three years, because of different reasons, they became distant and rare.

talked, at times it seemed as if they were just roommates sharing a house and talking only when it was necessary. Between her and I, though, there have never been any problems, some occasional arguing, sure, but nothing serious, so it really hurt to see how she pushed me out of her life. This went on for some months, until recently, about a month ago, by accident, I heard how she told one of her friends things like I love you, honey, and I don't know what I would do without you. I exploded, I screamed at her, without insulting or being threatening. That said, I'm not proud of what I did and have already apologized for losing my temper and started to cry, I felt betrayed, and felt horrible for my dad,

though in the end he didn't take it too badly since he kind of expected it. She kept telling me how this guy gave her the attention that she lacked at home, and how it wasn't cheating because they didn't have sex, it would have been pretty difficult since the guy literally lives in another island. I won't say where I'm from but know that most of the country is in Europe, but it owns a bunch of islands in the Atlantic, I told her that her excuses were stupid and to stop trying to justify her actions, and then my father came home, he found me almost having an anxiety attack, and after calming a bit told him everything. To sum up, they agreed to a friendly divorce and everything was as fine as it could be. Or at least it was until a week ago,

when because of a stupid thing, she wanted him to pay for the internet in the house, even if he didn't live there, my mother started to scream at my dad, telling him that she was fed up, that he always did the same and that he was manipulating me to hate her, when in fact, it was quite the opposite. She said some really awful things, threatened to falsely accuse him of domestic abuse, go to court to get my full custody and even pushed me because I was supposedly about to hit her, even though I would never dare to even think to hurt her. After a lot of screaming I had a full on anxiety attack, I started wailing while she just kept telling me look. what your father is doing to you, if he just paid, none of this would have even happened,

and if you love him so much, leave with him, but in the end you will understand that I'm right. Needless to say, I was a mess, I had never seen her act in such a way, and it hurt me a lot. We called my grandma and she asked me to give her a hug before going to sleep even if what she said was that bad, and so I did, not because I wanted to forgive her, but because my grandma would calm a bit. But to add insult to injury, before even apologizing, which she didn't do at that moment, one of the first things she said was that I should stop insulting the guy she found on Twitter because he respects me and my father a lot, to which I said whatever, but again, it hurt that, even after all the things that happened that day, the first thing she could think of

was that I insulted her boyfriend to whom I think, oh, no respect. Someone trying to date a married person, because he knew she was. Married, doesn't deserve to be treated with her. respect if you ask me. And here I am, a week after this incident and still a mess, she has apologized for most of what she said, and has started to be really affectionate, giving me hugs and trying to talk to me more often, but I just can't see her in the same way as before, and she isn't even trying to change her behavior that much. She still spends way too much time on Twitter, and I don't know what to do, I don't think I want to cut her off. But every time I see her, I get in a bad mood and just want to go outside. To take a walk

or meet up with my friends so that I can relax and think about other stuff. So what should I do? My dad and the rest of my family are encouraging me to value her efforts to recover our old relationship, but I don't know if I will be able to, or at least if I even want to leave this behind. Comments where Ope has replied, comment one, if it were me, I try to live with your dad. Even if you're not as close, I'd say he comes off fairly well in this story. Oop, I didn't make it clear in the post but now my dad and I are really close, when I began to feel

sidelined he was there to help me and I value that a lot. Comment two, be careful with how she tries to rebuild the relationship. She's obviously very manipulative and willing to lie to hurt others when she doesn't get her way. She may be blanketing you in affection to try and make you feel guilty and come to her side and poison you towards your dad. If her affection is like this, it will be gone the next time. you stand up for yourself or your dad. When that happens, remember that family is about helping when it's hard, not giving love when it's

easy. Typically, the parent who deals with the divorce more responsibly and amicably is going to be the parent that you should look to for guidance and that does not seem to be her. Boop, I wouldn't say manipulate, but she's trying to play the let's leave everything behind card, which I'm not buying. Boop responds to a comment about guilt tripping. Thank you for the advice, and I'm sorry to hear what you went through. My mom is kind of doing the same in some aspects. She has tried to

to guilt-trip me telling me how she had to leave her job and her friends to take care of me. I was a very sickly child and had to go regularly to the hospital because of it. But it makes no sense because it hasn't been like that for the last eight years, and has also talked shit about my dad and his, well, it's mine too, family, who she hates while also saying how she loves him but just not in a romantic way. Comment three, you don't have to save this. As much as it sucks, our parents are just people. They are stupid and make mistakes and have crazy thoughts and make bad decisions.

They are absolutely no different than any of our friends. At 16, you are very nearly as mature as many, many parents no matter what their age. You have values and knowledge of right and wrong. So yes, you can absolutely choose to judge what your parents do, and you can absolutely choose to not forgive them at any time. Before you choose to do this, try to look at your mother and your parents as an outsider, not as their child. Your mother has had an emotional affair. And some people see that as cheating and some just see it as a horrible warning.

Your parents have decided to divorce for this, you cannot fix it or go back. You will have to decide how to go forward, but their relationship is their problem, just as it would be for your friends. You are going to have to get through this and somehow live with it. At 16 you still have to have parents. Try not to take this on as your problem. Look at her as a troubled person that has made bad decisions. You don't have to like those decisions or forgive them, but you cannot let them affect your every moment. Oh, O.P, I have learned that the hard way, since the moment I discovered that things between them were going south, I tried to act as a mediator between the two, which only hurt me in the long run because, you know, I was like 13 at the time, and a kid shouldn't

have to worry about these things, but still I chose to, despite my dad telling me not to. OOP responds to a longer comment about boundaries when it comes to his parents' relationship. It was usually my mother who told me what was going on, my dad tried to not get me involved, usually telling me to not worry, that this is not something I should be worrying about at this age, and asking my mom to stop telling me about this kind of things, that they are adults and I am, was, a kid, so it was them who should figure things out. I won't lie, though, and whenever the chance presented itself, I would snoop around and try to hear what they were saying, even if it was none of my business, now I understand that it was wrong, but at the time I just couldn't stop myself

from doing it. And I hope that my dad isn't crazy, from what I've seen it doesn't seem likely, he always acts calmly and in an objective, responsible way, but you never know. Update, so a, hi. I posted here nearly six years ago about how strained my relationship with my mother had become after she closed herself off from both me and my father because of her obsession with politics, again, not going to get into it. A lot of stuff has happened since then so I figured I could make an update. I debated for a while if I should even make this update since.

after all, it's been half a decade since I made the original post and it didn't even get that much attention. In the end, though, I think it will give me a bit of closure which has been difficult to find otherwise. Oh, and again, English is not my first language yada yada, sorry for any mistakes. For starters, I ended up moving out permanently from my mother's house not long after I posted. We had a couple big arguments about her behavior in which she kept insisting that she had done nothing wrong and I should not be upset at her. I tried using some of the recommendations I got from people here, some of which were. Questionable, to say the least, such as setting some clear boundaries with her, but nothing really worked. The straw that broke

the camel's back though was when she told me that my uncles, her brothers, cancer had come back only as a way to hurt me since she didn't mention it before to avoid causing me even more stress. She kept that information in her back pocket until I pissed her off enough to want to hurt me, so yeah, really nice of her. As I mentioned before I moved out, and I ended up living with my dad and my grandma a couple towns over. By then I was getting close to turning 18 so there wasn't much she could do to stop me, and to her credit, she didn't.

After that last incident I pretty much cut her off, and it has stayed that way up until now with a couple exceptions. The main one being that my grander is. grandfather ended up passing away in 2022, so I reestablished contact with her partly as a way to try to make my other grandmother happy after, you know, her husband died, and partly because in a way I did miss her. As you might guess it did not work out. At first thing seemed to be going slightly better than last time, since she didn't push as hard for my affection and seemed more respectful of my boundaries. That was until Christmas of that same year, when she told me that

she was going to commit suicide once her mother died since there was nobody in the world who loved her, not so subtly implying that it was my fault. That obviously shook me, but more than that it made me angry. I realized that it was most likely a bluff to guilt me into forgiving her for everything, and that even if it wasn't, it was not a burden I should have to carry on my back, so I cut her off again, this time for good. Other than that and for me personally, these years have been a bit of a roller coaster with quite a few highs and lows. I finished high school, got into college, gained 40 kilograms, lost 25 of them, got really depressed, slowly crawled out of it, made some new friends, lost some old ones. Right now though I'd say that I'm better than ever.

I turned 22 a few months ago, and for the first time in a while I look forward to the future. I just graduated from college, I'm officially a historian now, I already got into it. the masters I want to do, I have a pretty chill job, and next year I'm planning on staying for a few months in Belgium, thanks to a EU program. Things are not perfect, of course, but I have a strong support system which has helped me not completely fall apart these last few years. My dad in particular has been my rock all this time and our bond is stronger than ever. Even though him and I are very different, and he didn't always know how to help me, he really gave it as all and I couldn't be more thankful. So yeah, these, almost, six years have not been

easy, but I feel like I have come out on the other side happier and stronger. Thanks again to the people who gave advice last time, and have a good one. Comment where OP has replied, comment, I'm glad to hear you're doing, relatively, well, and congratulations on the college graduation and master's admission. You may want to check out for more support, even if your mother isn't diagnosed narcissist. We help people with lots of situations of self-centered parents who don't support or even undermine their children, whether minors or adult children. Oh, O-op, thank you. And I have already lurked there from time to time, but I always felt that my experience was somewhat different from what people usually post there. I don't really know how to put it into words,

but I have always felt that the awful things that my mom did slash said to me did not come from a person who thought she was the center of the world, but rather someone who was fundamentally broken, and who instead of seeking help and trying to improve would rather lash out and hurt those around her once they eventually got fed up with her antics. Still, thank you for the recommendation, I think it's great that support groups like this one exist. Next story, spent my entire childhood to raise my sister after our parents failed us, but when I lost my job and became homeless, she refused to let me stay with her for even a few weeks, so I cut her off completely. My sister, 26F, from a young age has that only one person

to rely on and that person was me, 29M. We come from a broken family with one parent that was only around till I was five and the other who was stuck in a cycle of addiction. Because of our situation I grew up very quickly and shielded her from as much as I could, she obviously was aware of what was going on but she was not in the crosshair. I started with stealing from our mother to make sure we had food and bills were paid, I got a part-time job at 13 because we couldn't rely on our mother and when I graduated I immediately got two jobs and we moved out. I had to push my sister through high school, she wasn't an easy teen for obvious reasons, on top of going month to month trying to get as much money together to pay our bills.

At 19 she finally graduated after being held back a year, she changed her tune a lot and she started working as well and had her own place when she was 21. I finally got a a shot to do something for myself and got a degree, as a result I got a much better job but unfortunately that was right before the pandemic hit so I pretty much went from hired to fired as I was a new hire. Now the reason I am saying all that is not to pat myself on the back but to stress why my reaction is the way it is. I was out of work, on the brink of losing my apartment and only had one person who I expected I could turn to, my sister. She was recently married, lived, still lives obviously, with her husband, so I asked if I could stay a few weeks at most

a few months until I got a new job, it was a no. I was taken aback, but it remained to be a no. A week or two later I was kicked out of my apartment, I asked again and it was a no. At this point I am homeless and the only reason I didn't end up sleeping on the damn street was because I could crash at a few friends until I got a temporary job, I rented a room with a bunch of roommates for a while, eventually got a job in my field again and am now doing fine. That said, I have not spoken to my sister since, she has called, messaged, banged on my door, sent crying voice messages, apologized dozens of times, tried to explain herself, tried going to my job, tried going to friends, everything. I haven't said a word to her it's

been over a year now, she recently had a child and she is still desperately trying to reach out. She claims her husband refused to let me stay, he even reached out several times to beg me to reach out, but to me the one time I need her she basically tells me to F myself, I feel like it was the last push I needed to just end that chapter of my life. I feel bad but just, not bad enough, I guess. Even my friends and my girlfriend are on my case that I should forgive her and that they understood it at first but now think I am being an asshole, what would you guys do? Update, so I had a huge amount of people in question.

as to what ended up happening and asking me to make an update should anything happen, and while I wasn't sure if I would or even should I eventually decide it to just go ahead and do it. Let me start by apologizing to the people who commented on my post. I made my post and it didn't seem to gain much traction at all, so I more or less stopped looking at it for about a day I think only to figure out the next day that I had gotten a lot of comments. Unfortunately, when I decided to reply to a lot of the comments I had been reading, I realized that this subreddit locks the comments after a certain amount of comments have been

made or karma has been reached, I am afraid I was not aware of this admittedly very odd rule so that's on me. I did end up reading most comments and would like to thank everyone offering advice or just saying something supportive. First to answer a couple of questions that I was unable to answer along with addressing some incorrect comments in the previous post yet I saw asked quite a few times. One, the first few knows were without reasonable explanation. I was not aware of her given reason that her husband was not okay with it until later.

2. She did not know she was pregnant when she declined and most of it happened before she would have even been pregnant in the first place. I mean most of this took place over a year ago, I even put that in the post so I am not sure how that math would even work. 3. I am not an anti-vaxxer or dirty or something. There were quite a few comments that theorized this would be the case for her refusal. I got my two vaccination shots. The moment I could them in well while my personal hygiene is not exactly anyone's business I shower once a day in my apartment is spotless. 4. A lot of advice and comments seem to be from the perspective of functional families with a functional family structure. That is not the case here. The primary reason I am so

gutted about this entire situation is exactly that, this isn't a case of well I don't want my cousin to stay in my house he can stay somewhere else. This is a case of me having sacrificed my entire youth and a significant portion of my early adult life for someone that I played no part in creating or have any parental responsibility for and the first and only time I ever asked her to do something for me is the only person I could reasonable fall back on and her not doing that, that's more than a familial spat, that is a straight-up betrayal. That's also an answer to the people saying that she owes me nothing because I chose to be a parent. Anyway, with that out of the way, I decided to follow some

advice given by several people. I told my girlfriend and the friends who involved themselves, or were involved by my sister to back off or to lose my number, they do not understand my perspective and they likely never will and I need to get that through my head as I have a tendency to talk about my life as if it is a standard, but it is a standard only to me, luckily most people don't go through any of that. I obviously had a longer and face-to-face conversation with my GF and with individual close friends but it boils down to that.

One friend kept pestering me about it and I ended up dropping him as a friend but my GF was apologetic and most friends were either apologetic or said they'd drop it. I ended up writing a long email to my sister and while I will not copy and paste the entire thing here as it contains a lot of personal information and far more horrible stuff that I am unsure will even be allowed on a sub like this it more or less boiled down to me explaining to her how her refusal to take me in for what ended up being a few weeks made me feel and I detailed a long list of things I had done to take care of her. I ended up finishing my email telling her that even if I take her version of the

story as truth and her husband as the cause of me not being allowed to stay that it is entirely irrelevant to me because that just means she didn't fight for me at all. I also informed her I have no interest in meeting her child as of this moment and I have no interest in reconnecting with her and if that changes in the future I will be the one to contact her, I told her to let this be a lesson to her as it has been a painful lesson to me. Boiled down I have decided to move on and keep the door on the tiniest of cracks. She has responded a lot since that moment. She seems unable to accept it, but I have not responded since. I don't have anything else to tell you I am afraid and since the sub only allows one update well it is what it is.

Again, thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post and thank you all for your insightful replies. I hope you enjoy this story. My relative requested that I ink a design on him unexpectedly during his marriage ceremony, but later I discovered that he desired to have his former partner's birthday inked. To provide some context about myself, I am knowledgeable in this area. A tattoo artist. I've done an apprenticeship the first year of tattooing. I work as a tattoo artist for four years now and I opened a studio recently.

Me and my family are invited to a wedding that is taking place in another state. My cousin is marrying and we got the invitation a few months ago. Time has moved forward and now the wedding is in a week already. Out of the blue my cousin, let's call him Matt, texted me with something along the lines of you're going to tattoo me on my wedding day. I was a bit confused as I never even thought of bringing my equipment, since I also didn't plan a guest spot or anything. Guest spot is a tattoo artist working at another studio for a few days or weeks, mostly in

a different area to grow the clientele. I jokingly asked if he has a machine, as I still hope that he wasn't serious. He then just asked if I don't have one, and that one machine wouldn't take up that much space to take with. I replied that I didn't plan on bringing my equipment, that in fact contains more than just a machine, color, hygiene stuff, stencil that's the purple stuff you put on the skin to then trace the tattoo with actual needles, etc. And that I'm not prepared to tattoo at a wedding of which I don't know anything about, lay out of the location, is it inside slash outside and so on. He then said that he had planned on this and that it would mean a lot to him to both get a tattoo on his wedding day and that I'd be the one to tattoo him. Remember that this is the first time I'm hearing this.

I again tried to explain that I don't feel comfortable with that and that it's quite short notice as I work until me and my brother fly over to attend the wedding and a tattoo needs to be designed first, right? He saw my message but didn't reply anymore. This morning my mother called and she was furious. She asked why I couldn't pull my shit together and just tattoo Matt. I told her what I've previously told Matt as well, but she didn't want to hear it. She just said it would mean a lot to her and Matt's family if I'd do that and that it could be my wedding gift then she hung up. I talked to my brother about it and he just shrugged it off and said it would be nice of you, though I'm unsure what to do now. As I said, I'm not really comfortable with the whole situation, especially because I've never been guest spotting,

so I never had to travel let alone get on a plane with my equipment. But is that just selfish? I mean it would mean a lot to apparently everyone and I'm just saying no. Edit. 1. I do have an actual wedding gift already as they send out a wish list with their invitations. There was a point that said artwork, because they recently moved into a bigger house and apparently they want random artwork to decorate. I oil painted them a painting I spent several days on, so I also don't plan to give him a voucher as a gift. 2. Maddie doesn't have any tattoos as far as I know.

3. I don't know what my mom's problem is with all of this. I think she just wants to keep the piece. Comments Oop expands on why it's such a bad idea. Oop, I especially don't understand why I should tattoo at a wedding since you can't, or shouldn't, combined getting tattooed with drinking alcohol and knowing Matt, there will be plenty of alcohol at this wedding. Commenter, really, and does that mean you can't drink as well? This would be a hard no from me. Oop, yeah, I wouldn't be able to drink either, but up until now I haven't even thought of that.

Commenter, it's inappropriate of him to expect you to work for free at an event to which you're a guest. Are you even licensed to tattoo in the other state? The entire thing sounds ludicrous. Tell your cousin your hourly rate, build in the peer rate for hauling your equipment, and he needs to cover your flights and hotel. After all, flying in a trained professional to perform a service costs money. Oh, and he needs to pay up front since this is a special service. Oop, I am actually licensed. And I mean I would ask for money but apparently they plan this as a wedding gift, like my mom suggested.

I can't imagine what they are even thinking. Commenter, they plan this as a wedding gift from you? Because that's pretty presumptuous and against some kind of, like, wedding etiquette. I always thought any mention of gifts by the wedding couple was some kind of faux pa. NTA. Oop, especially since they have an actual list of things they want to be gifted. I mean there was a point that said artwork, but if they wanted me to tattoo mat as a gift they could and should. should have reached out as they sent out their list.

Commenter, and is there a honeymoon happening right after the wedding? If they're going anywhere where swimming is involved, he won't be able to swim with a fresh tattoo. Oop, I thought of that too, they are going to Bali, I doubt that he had considered not being able to go swim or being in the sun at all. Commenter, they're being unreasonable and making things weird for no reason. NTA and I just wouldn't go if they keep being like this. Boop, I did think about not attending.

It would be sad not too, but this is also very uncomfortable and I don't think everyone has let go of it by then, commenter. NTA, but disclaimer I'm petty, I would find out who the bride is and tell her. This would hijack the wedding. Explain to her or her M.O. or mom that you would need several hours to set up, clean, do the actual tattoo that this would take over her whole wedding. Then sit back and watch the shit fest. Oop, I'm actually not sure if the bride is in on this or not. I'm not close with her at all. Commenter, does he have any other tattoos so that he understands how long it could end up taking?

He could theoretically want anything at this point. This is such a ridiculous request. Oop, I don't think he has any tattoos and with that no concept on how tattooing actually works. Popular underscore document 1399, NTA. What is really wrong with your mother? Honestly, while I am not a tattoo artist, I think it's unethical and unprofessional to engage in tattoo services at a wedding or other place other than your studio. If Matt wants to have a tattoo done, tell him to come to your studio and you can do it for him before or after the wedding as a wedding gift, not during the ceremony. Jeez, this is so ridiculous.

Update 1, so the last hours have been a lot. First of I called my mom and wow she asked me again, this time very friendly, if I want to tattoo Maddie at his wedding and again I said no, with all the reasons I've previously given her plus some of the very good points you guys have. Before she could say anything else, I added that I felt like she wouldn't take me in tattooing seriously. She didn't say anything for a bit until she tried to explain that she really thought it wasn't a big deal. I told her again that it is and that my mom of all the people should know how my job works. She agreed and apologized profusely. I then asked her if she'd like to attend and watch me work on a client's

appointment and to my surprise she said yes. Mom is tagging along tomorrow, now to Maddie or rather his bride. I finally got hold of the bride, let's say her name is Becky, and asked her about the request her fiancé confronted me with. She seemed surprised as she apparently had heard from my aunt that I made them something for their new house. She assumed it would be a painting since I'm the artist of the family and it's known that I also paint. I confirmed that, but that Maddie has come forward with this out of the blue and that

it's not a good idea for many reasons. She agreed with me immediately, I think she does have tattoos. She thanked me for telling her as no one else did. Becky seemed really mad, but she seemed to pull herself together. I would have lost it, I'm assuming Becky confronted Mad after our call because only three to four hours later I checked the family group chat and there was a message from Becky, there will be no ceremony on the 13th as Mad and I decided we aren't getting married. Mad and I have things to figure out so please text or call us tomorrow if you have questions,

for the rest of the day will be on flight mode after dinner Becky called me and apologized for Matt again, she said it was a stupid idea of his and that he just thought it would be cool. She then informed me that she still wants me to fly over for the wedding day as she will be hosting a party instead of a wedding. Everything is paid for anyways and she doesn't want anything to go to waste. I asked if they broke up not yet, but I'm going to stay at my sister's place until next week. I'm assuming Mad hasn't been too great but I'm sure I'll hear about it. Apparently my brother and my mom aren't invited, LOL. My call must have been the last straw, but as far as I am concerned, Becky is handling it gracefully and mad will be okay too, I'm sure.

So I'm going to a party but did I just make a new friend? Thanks y'all for having my back. Update 2, welcome back, I'm finally done writing this. Thanks to everyone coming back and reading this, I appreciate y'all and love that you are enjoying the tea. So because a lot of you wanted to know how the bring your mom to work day was, I picked her up in the morning and we headed to the studio. I showed her around, told her a few background stories about some of the artworks and photos that are hanging on our walls and explained her my routine as I prepared everything. My client arrived and I handled it like I usually would, just with my mom sitting there, L.O.L. I explained every step of the process and she also asked me questions about my ink, needles, technique, etc.

It was a lot of fun having her around and she really did surprise me with her openness and interest. When I was done with tattooing my mother had to leave for work, but thanked and hugged me for bringing her along, as she not only enjoyed spending time with me but also loved seeing me doing my job so professionally and said that she sees my work and efforts now. To the wedding slash party, the party started at 1,400 hours as the ceremony was cancelled. I arrived and was immediately welcomed by Becky's sister. She hugged me and helped me with my painting. Everyone was outside, drinking and having a small bite already.

I went to say hi to Becky and she hugged me warmly. She seemed tired but otherwise fine. Becky was also smiling a lot, which surprised me. I went to mingle as I didn't want to start off with questioning her, LOL. I met a lot of her friends and apparently the most of them weren't too fond of Matt. I heard a few things of how he tried to change Becky to be more like his ex and stuff like that, not a great look Maddie, speaking of, not a single friend or relative of Matt was around. Besides me and one other cousin, later as we sat down to eat, I asked,

if could join Becky's table. They said yes, so I was sitting with Becky, her sister, and three of her friends. I introduced myself to one of them, haven't talked to him before, and Becky added that I'm Matt's cousin, the one who was supposed to tattoo. A simultaneous o' came from everyone. And with that, the conversation was about Matt from the get-go. I asked what happened. The sister just rolled her eyes and was like what didn't. Becky and friends told me, a while ago Matt has apparently started to pick on Becky for being herself in various ways. It started small like asking her to change her sports routine from workouts to only running. Then he criticized her cooking as he prefers to eat more meat and more traditionally.

They discussed these topics and it always seemed fine, but he didn't stop. He asked her if she couldn't let her hair grow or get extensions and speaking of hair, if she couldn't get them bright, Becky has shoulder-long black hair. More and more seemed to pile up until he also started to make comments along the line of can't you be more like my ex. As I understand it, he didn't say it specifically, but it was clear he meant it like that. His ex is from Texas, I was shocked, I asked why she didn't break up because of that, but Becky explained that in the situations it didn't seem as bad as when you list those reasons.

She had also made a few changes to make Maddie happy but continued to do what she wanted most of the time. Time went on and the issues resurfaced again and again in different ways. The last big fight was only a few weeks ago, when Maddie called Becky by his ex's name, they somehow settled this so let's skip forward to when I called Becky about the tattoo idea. After our call she went up to Matt and asked him why he didn't talk to her about it and why he would just decide doing something like that on their wedding day he explained that he wanted to surprise her and stuff like that. Becky went on telling him this wasn't happening and that she wanted to be able to enjoy the wedding and their honeymoon. Again they seemed to agree in the end and he apologized.

But later, this almost threw me, as Becky was starting to cook dinner and Matt was sitting at the counter they talked about tattoos again, apparently really chill discussion about tattoos in general, and Becky asked him playfully what he intended on getting tattooed. He gestured across his chest and said, I want my birth date, our wedding date and your birth date, so, insert is BD, June 13th, 2024, insert BD, Becky said she went blind for a millisecond. That third date was in fact not her birthday. She asked him again and he repeated the same dates.

She then said that this isn't her birth date, he persisted that it was and that she should stop trying to fool him. She said she started to cry and ran to get her purse to show him her driver's license. That's when his face slipped. He tried to get out of it by making excuses that he isn't good with dates, etc. But Becky just went straight to her phone and checked Facebook. She found his ex's profile showing her birthday. It was the date he would have gotten tattooed on his chest if I hadn't said no and also called Becky. My dumb-ass cousin would have ended up with the birthday of his ex-girlfriend next to his wedding date.

Becky said he more or less told him it was over and that this is enough. She started to immediately reorganize the whole wedding honeymoon while kicking him out of the house. A bit later she called me back. She also mentioned that she didn't want to say what happened on the phone as she thought I might tell my family and she really didn't want to hear about it. Fair, I get that. Becky changed the honeymoon booking and is now taking her best friend. Also, if you're wondering, Becky's dad is currently the owner of their house as they agreed to slowly pay him back, due to his financial wealth and stability that made more sense this way.

As far as I know Becky is going to stay there. Anyways, that's the T folks. This was truly a wild ride and I am pretty sure Becky and I are going to be good friends, we really hit it off. I don't have much dignity left for Matt so I'm not sure I'll keep the contact at all. Comments, ran 1101. Thanks for the update.

What a wild ending. Becky's certainly put up with a lot before the tipping point. I was wondering if you know how long Becky and Matt dated before the wedding day. It seems crazy that he would be so sure of the wrong birthday. Like have they celebrated Becky's birthday before? Has he ever said happy birthday to her on the wrong day? Either way I'm glad it came out and y'all are living your best lives now without Matt's dutchness clouding the way. Suspicious Fruit 243 op.

They have been together for about three years, I think. Yosara underscore Hervey, I've got a feeling that Maddie isn't over his ex yet. I assume she's the one who left, because if he's the one who left her he's very dumb but from what you told us. I wouldn't put this past him, the end of that relationship is a very good thing for Becky, and in some way for Matt too. Now he's free to pursue his ex again, LOL. Thank you for the update, glad your relationship with your mom improved, and now you can distance yourself from the toxic people in your family, Maddie, I'm looking at you.

Good luck to you, friend. Update 3, hi everyone. Not sure if anyone still cares, but I thought I'd give a tiny up. on how everything went. First of all, since that question came up a few times, I'm a woman, while Becky and her bestie went to Bali as they, re-planned. During her vacation we texted quite a bit. Then they came back and we were still texting, first it was all very superficial and polite as she thanked me for telling her about the whole tattoo thing. That I showed up to the party anyways and that I still gifted her my painting, etc. We got into other stuff like music,

movies and hobbies, we have a lot in common. Turns out she is just as nerdy as me, so we could connect over anime in different games. I never had a female friend to share these interests. She's also coming over for a few days next week, I'm super excited. Anyways, I am super happy how everything went and to see that Becky is doing very good without my cousin, L.O.L. I think she's truly relieved and is beautifully blooming. Thanks guys for all your messages and comments, I really appreciate it. Comments, Noctoila 88, that's great. By the way, have you heard of Maddie?

Suspicious Fruit 243 op. Nothing direct, I've talked to his mother though. Apparently he actually did try to reach out to his ex, but I have no idea what's going on there, L.O.L. Becky asked me out Update 4, hi Ah, I'm very excited, Becky asked me out on a date. It's only in October as she wants to take it slow and needs more time since the wedding isn't that long ago, but she wanted to make her current feelings clear to me.

Comments, Sunflower and Dream, Boop traded in her loser cousin for a new friend, not a bad trade so far. Lucy Ariya Rose, honestly things seem to have turned out well for a little. New friend, her mom understands what she does better, and she didn't have to tattoo her jerk of a relative L-O-L. Radus, Radus, I still can't get over the shit bird thinking he's going to get a chest piece at his wedding and just keep rocking. It's a fucking wound, it oozes and bleeds and hurts. The wrong birthday was just the shit cherry atop the shit Sunday. Chuklin 5, yeah, I've gone to work after a hip and wrist tattoo.

While not unbearable I was able to uncover the hip for periods of time while working due to having a hutch thing on my desk so you can't see below my head. It still wasn't an enjoyable workday. Expecting to dance and honeymoon after a fresh piece, what an idiot. Coffee and punk records, I am very heavily tattooed. I recently got my stomach done. I worked from home and for about a week I was taking calls in gym shorts and a button-down shirt with the bottom few buttons. undone. This guy is a moron even before the whole birthday thing is taken into consideration. Michaela, it sounds like the cousin was basically using Becky as a placeholder slash stand in for

his ex since he's clearly not over her. Trying to change her to be more like the ex, calling her by the ex's name, and then the birthday tattoos. They've been together for three years and he's never bothered to learn what her birthday was because he doubled down on swearing that was her birthday. Yeah, he didn't care about Becky. She was just a doll where he exerted his imagery of the ex onto her because the surety of believing that date was her birthday is definitely giving that he was looking at her trough tinted glasses and never saw her for her. Glad she got out. Weird pink hair. People being shocked about the birthday thing after them being together three years. My ex asked me to call this solicitor when we divorced and she asked me, very embarrassed tone to

her voice, what my date of birth was. After 15 years together, he still couldn't be honest to remember. So yeah, douches like this really exist. I hope you enjoy this story. Partner dominated every aspect of my life, so I shared a message on the internet wondering if I was experiencing mistreatment. However, he stumbled upon my message as he had implanted surveillance software on my device, thus discovering my concerns. I packed everything and left while he playing video games. Hi guys, I'm using a throwaway and avoiding names for anonymity. So, I don't really know where to start.

It's almost a decade of my life and I could write about it for days, but I'll try to pick out the unimportant bits. I, 23F, have been with my boyfriend, 28M, for eight years. I know it's pretty much impossible to paint a good picture of someone through a few paragraphs of a story, especially considering I'm mostly pointing out problem areas, but please keep in mind that he's a good person. He's loving, gentle, cares about me than anything and absolutely devoted to me. But we have tangled this relationship into quite a mess. Like everyone who posts here I have countless reasons

to want to stay, but I'm having trouble taking off these rose-colored glasses. Please help me, read it. Backstory, when we started dating I was going through a lot of shit, and he was the first guy I've ever been with. I was the one who was always compromising and always finding ways to go see him. He very rarely came to see me, and if he did he would get irritated and complain that he shouldn't have too. He would ask me to come over every single night, saying he missed me and he couldn't sleep. I lived about an hour away, and I didn't even have a car, so when I'd find rides to his house, bus, friends driving me, etc., I was excited to see him.

I'd get there early in the day, and instead of seeing him, I'd sit on his couch alone for hours while he played video games. It was infuriating, because I played games too, but he always told me not to bring my console because I could use his. He had literally zero games for it, but I always ended up just pacing around his house, waiting for him to give me a second of his time. As bad as this sounds, and it was, he was so sweet and sincere when he would finally get done, he told me how glad he was that he could keep up with his Legion and still have a girlfriend.

He said although he ended up breaking up with his last three because of fidelity problems, they hated him gaming, I was young and stupid, and caught up in being the cool girlfriend. I used to have a lot of fun, going to clubs and parties and all kinds of things. I had a ton of friends, mostly male. He would get upset if I talked to them, even the ones I had known since I was a toddler, and he said that since he didn't talk to girls then I shouldn't either. Little did I know, he actually was talking to a few girls all this time. He said, I love you two days into dating, and proposed after a few months.

I told him I wasn't ready, that I loved him but I was too young and I needed to get to know him better. He was different after this, like it hurt him for me to say no. After a few months together, I'd tell him I was about to do something, like walk to the grocery store since I had no car, and he would scream at me over the phone. He said I was an idiot, going to get myself cailed, women can't walk alone, especially near night time. I know what you're thinking, why would I stay with A.S. Exist asshole? Well, he had never made it seem like he was S-exist before, and would deny saying it. He would say he never said any such thing, and that he was only worried about me.

I'd ask why he screamed, and tell him it wasn't okay to treat me like that, and he'd say I have never and will never yell at you. At this point I'm already doubting my sanity, but the other 75% or so of the time, he's so incredibly sweet to me. I moved in with him about 10 months in because my mother died, and I had nowhere else to go. I had a job, but didn't make enough to support myself. His family owned farmland in the South, and had bought him his own house. About a year into our relationship, I found out that he'd lied about every single thing he'd told me about himself. The way I found out was the worst part, he just told me. He forgot that he'd lied in the beginning, and he'd start randomly telling me things like, I almost married my high school

sweetheart, but she changed her mind last second and my 10th or so girlfriend calls me every weekend to say she wants to fuck. This is after telling me that he's been with only three others before me, and that he doesn't talk to any exes. None of this would have mattered to me if he'd been up front in the beginning, but because he lied and was using the whole I don't talk to girls, you can't talk to guys bullshit to keep me from having male friends, I was pretty upset. A few weeks after that, I told him I was going to the movies with a female friend for her birthday. I told him the movie was at seven and I'd be back before midnight. We wouldn't be drinking, partying, anything like that. Well, at about 9.30 I start getting horrible texts. I'm a lying

bitch, I better enjoy the dick I'm getting because I'm never getting, his, again, and that he doesn't want to see me when I get home. I was crushed. It was the first time I'd seen any friends since we started dating, and she had never met him, but she saw what he was sending me. I ignored him and ended up getting home at 11 p.m. The house was trashed, and he was up waiting for me. When I asked what the hell he was talking about, he slammed the door in my face, literally, it hit me really hard in the nose and screamed fuck off. I slept on the couch. The next day he left without saying a word to me for a softball game he'd been planning with his friends.

I was still pissed, so I called him as soon as I woke up. By the way, he was out of state and would be sleeping in a motel room with multiple single girls slash guys for the next five days, and I told him he's an asshole I'm done. He was absolutely desperate over the phone for me to give him another chance, but I hung up. I packed everything I owned and tried to leave, but he showed up right before I could and was very sincere about getting help. The next day, he stayed out until 5 a.m. at a strip club and came back without his promise ring on. He said he'd put it in his pocket so he wouldn't lose it, but he smelled strange and was acting strange and I just know that he cheated. He vehemently denied

it, saying I was insane for accusing him and that we should just break up if I wasn't going to trust him. I said okay, and started packing again. Then he said he'd never said any of that. After the fight earlier, he said he'd go to therapy, stop punching holes in the walls, pay more attention to me and even let me go to clubs again and resume contact with my male friends. Well, he did start therapy. He went for three months, and nothing changed.

He continued to punch and break things, scream at me, tell me everything was my fault and that he couldn't stand me. He turned to drinking and when he'd get violent and drunk, he said I was the reason for he was forced to drink. Because I was causing him so many issues. Well, things got better than they got worse. They were up and down for a while, but we had a good period of about four years. There were several large fights over the years, here a few that stand out. The day my favorite aunt died, I was with her at the hospital. I drove a shitty vehicle there that was known for breaking down. After she passed, I was a mess. I told him I was leaving and would be back soon.

We lived only a few minutes down the street, but my car broke down and I was about 15 minutes late. I got home and he was furious, said I was cheating on him and that was why I was late, screamed that I was a cheater and the landlord who was our neighbor heard the whole thing. He always hated me after that. No apology after he calmed down. Instead it was my fault for causing him to worry. I was feeling depressed about the amount of PRN he watched versus how often he was interested in me. We used to have a ton of segs.

we had six different FFM threesomes with multiple girls he chooses and I tried everything to satisfy his kinks. But then I just stopped being enough. Guys, I have zero self-esteem at this point, and I'm just dreading waking up every single morning. One day, after a month of no segs, he locks himself in the bathroom and I can hear him in there, I get so sick to my stomach and have an anxiety attack. I'm a very in shape, bust a girl. I'm in gymnastics and have always been told I'm generally attractive, so it's not a weight issue or anything. I suspect PRN addiction. I'm hyperventilating on the floor when he comes out, and he's sweet for a moment, asking what's wrong and to please talk to him. Well, I trusted him and I shouldn't have. I told him in the most

calm voice I could that it makes me feel sad when he chooses PRN over me, that we've had SEGS four times in three months and I wish I had more from him. He completely lost it. He grabbed my shoulder so hard his nails dug in, he shook me and screamed that he doesn't even watch PRN, that he is so whipped by a stupid bitch, that his life is shit because of me. I have always been very sensitive and I cry at the drop of a hat. I know that makes him feel like I'm trying to manipulate him. But even if I lock myself in the bathroom to cry, in private, it's still my fault and I'm using it to control him. I don't have anywhere to go, and I cannot not cry sometimes. Is there something I could have done to show him I just need to cry

Sometimes. That brings us to now. Most of the year was good, but the past few months he's been screaming a lot more. He's told me that I am a horrible person for trying to leave him years ago, and that I don't deserve him and will never find another guy who'd put up with me. He always denies things and tries to make me sounds crazy, so this time I recorded it. Later when he was more calm I played it for him, and he accused me of inviting guys over to pretend to be him so I could get him in trouble. What the fucking fuck? He's done much more. He's gone through every file on my computer and set the only dirty one he could find as my background

to humiliate me because he knew his family was coming over. He wanted them to see the filthy shit I look at. Remember earlier how I said he has a PRN addiction? Yeah, he's at a level of hypocrisy that I just can't understand. I know this is incredibly toxic and I am so sick of feeling suicidal. I just wanted to know one thing. am I the one who is abusive? I know I didn't give very many examples of things I've done, and maybe if he posted his side you'd agree with him, but what about my trying to leave?

Was that a horrible act of betrayal? Because he is convinced it's worse than cheating, and says he is abused and is a victim. I am just so confused and feel constantly devastated and lonely. I have no one if I lose him frown, please, send help. Edit 1, I guess it doesn't really make sense for me to ask if I'm being abusive since this is from my point of view and for all you know I could just leave what I do out, so I don't really know what I'm asking. I guess I just want to see what others think. I feel like I'm crazy. Edit two, he just texted me that he saw my post and is coming home. Edit three, I'm somewhere safe now. I'll post a full update as soon as this post dies down because the one I posted got removed. Thank you all so fucking much. Update.

I'm sorry for leaving you guys hanging yesterday. I was trying to be vague in the last post because I know my boyfriend had mentioned in passing that he kept an eye on this sub in case I ever post it, but I didn't realize he meant that he checked it every single break. He was able to find it anyway so now it doesn't matter. I'm okay, just to get that out of the way. First of all, wow. You guys, thank you so much.

I haven't read all the comments yet because I had no idea this would get so big, but thank you. You are all such wonderful people. To everyone who offered me a place to stay or a ride, I can't thank you enough. Just knowing that there are people out there who would help a complete stranger is very touching and I wish I could tell you how much I appreciate every single one of you. Thank you. To those of you saying I'm abusive for posting this, hell, I didn't mean it that way, but maybe? I didn't plan for or want him to see it, but I can see what you mean.

Anyway, last night was probably the biggest night of my life so bare with me if it starts getting too long. I've been in therapy for the last three years and one of the things my therapist had me do was get a backpack ready with everything I might need in an emergency. Within two minutes of receiving his text yesterday and posting the edit I grabbed that backpack and was planning on just walking so at least I wasn't home I don't have a car. I was thinking about just going through my contacts and talking to whoever I could but that didn't work out. Josh was outside parked down the street. He was trying to catch me leaving. So when he sent

the text that said Sawyer Post, I'm coming home, he was already home. He was fucking waiting. I just stood there because I didn't know what to do. I thought he was going to be furious, but he ran up to me with a completely different react than I expected. He was crying, like bawling his eyes out. I still felt like I was waiting for him to get mad or scream at me or something, but he just hugged me really tight and said he's so sorry. He said he had no idea I felt that way and that he knows he has jealousy issues and a temper and asked if we could talk about it inside.

He begged me to come in and said he couldn't lose me and he loves me. I didn't know what to do, I just followed him in. He took my backpack from me and when he looked at it he just broke down. He asked if I was really leaving him, why I didn't tell him things were this bad, why I never talked to him. I told him I can't talk to him. Every time I have ever decided to trust him and open up about even the tiniest thing that's bothered me,

like him asking for other girls' numbers in front of me or him hanging up on me constantly, he always loses his shit and starts screaming at the top of his lungs while I just sit there as quiet as possible and apologize. And then this is where he changed. At this point he was no longer acting like he was sorry, he'd switch to your full of shit. I treat you like a goddamn angel and get walked all over in return. he said he should never have to apologize to me. I was very upset so I played one of the fights I recorded

and I'm so glad I kept those after he told me to delete them. Even in the first three minutes of it you can tell I was being calm. The first thing I say is baby, I didn't mean to say anything was wrong with us, I just wanted to know why you don't want me to apply at. Place I could use my degree. I just want to help make money. He immediately starts yelling you'll cheat on me and find someone better. Fuck off, go find some guy to fuck at, place.

I don't give a fuck you'll come crawling back to me, no one else would put up with you. Fuck you. This fight was pretty recent, but he only listened to a few seconds of it. I know some people who commented on the last post suggested that maybe I really am screaming back at him. Someone said something about slapping him too. Neither of us have ever slapped the other, though, and I understand that may be something to consider. But I know that I don't yell. I have a hard time standing up for myself and I hate confrontation, especially with him.

I always just want to make the fights better. I know I need to work on that, and I brought it up in therapy, but I just felt like adding that. He got up and said, fuck off with that shit. He was definitely not apologetic and sweet anymore, so I was just quiet. He said he's done with this shit and I have no right to record him and then he ripped the phone out of my hand. He said more stuff, but I can't remember everything. I asked what he was doing, but he just glared at me and then he stomped outside with it and then threw it as hard as he could. I don't know why, but that just broke my heart so much. He's broken things of mind before,

but I had been planning on calling a friend or my brother and I didn't know any of their numbers. I asked him what he did with it, but he wouldn't answer. He slammed the door so hard when he came in that I flinched, then he bumped into me really roughly and went straight to. to his computer where he put his headphones on and turned up his music really loud. He always put his headphones on in a certain way when he's mad, because then he can't hear me, he started playing a game and he was literally fuming. I stood in the door and he looked up at me and the way he looked at me was awful. I could feel that he absolutely hated me, and what's sad is that wasn't even the first time he's looked at me that way. I think I was kind of in shock, I always

feel that way when he's mad. He kept playing games so I went out to look for my phone, which I found parts of shattered on the street, but I never found the battery and I don't think it was usable. When I went back and I was shaking frown we talked it out later I think everything is going to be okay. Just kidding. I don't know why, but I just felt so done. I grabbed his phone off the counter and ran outside. I knew he used to text my brother and he had the number of the friend I watched a movie with a while back, to make sure I was where I said I was, so I used to use. I used to used as to call them. My brother answered on the second ring and I didn't know what to say, so I just started pouring my heart out. I told him I'm sorry we haven't talked in so long,

but that I'm really scared and have nowhere to go. Guys, this hurt more than anything my boyfriend has ever said or done and I'm still so surprised that he would have this reaction after so long. I can't remember the beginning but the last thing he said was you deserve everything that's happening to you and hung up. He hates me. He really thinks I deserve. He deserves. He really thinks I to stay with Josh because I'm attracted to girls. At the time I just thought fuck him and I called my friend, who I'll call A. Well, she didn't answer at first, but then she called right back. Thank you all so much for suggesting that I call her because she was so happy to hear from me and I told her everything that happened. She said she was 30 minutes away and she would come

with her husband. I didn't even know she had gotten married. Frown, so I went back in and oh my God that was a horrible 30 minutes. I didn't what to do I was so fucking worried he'd come out because I didn't want to see him. I'm a bad liar and he'd know something was up. I didn't want him to notice my stuff all packed up so I just put all my cords slash controllers slash clothes and small things I couldn't live without in a box but left the big stuff. I got there really fast and her husband, who is such a nice guy, helped me load my desk slash chair and computer in their truck. This is the part I'm not feeling so. great about right now. I left without saying a word to Josh. I could still hear him playing

games in the other room and the only thing I wanted in the entire world was for him to hug me and tell me it was okay and, while my heart really hurts today, I can't even see through the tears to type this out. I know how he sounded but I really loved him so much and it feels like I ripped my own limb off. When I think about his face and smile and everything that was good I feel like there's a huge hole in my chest. But when I play these, fights I recorded and think about my future and this amazing friend who came and saved me and everything I can do with my life. I feel so happy. I thought I needed Josh, but man, it's so amazing feeling like I don't. I have to get a new phone, though frown, thank you all

so much, you are all amazing people. I received so many thoughtful messages and I can't tell you how thankful I am that I ended up posting here. I'm with a now, and she lives in a house I've never been to so I'm pretty sure Josh won't find it. And she invited another girl I haven't seen in years to go to a concert on Friday night and I am so excited. We had strawberry dikeries and watched stupid horror movies all night and her husband is making waffles right now. Guys, I'm free. I'm so fucking happy. I'm fucking free. Fuck you, Joshua E to DCK. Edit. Something I forgot to add is that A's husband, who is a software developer, noticed something on my computer when I turned it back on at their house to show them the post. It's called sniper spy and that is how Josh knew about my post.

I thought he'd just been super stalking, but nope. He installed a spy app on my PC. I know it shouldn't take a software developer to notice an icon on my desktop, but I never saw it before so I think it must have popped back up when I restarted my computer. Just a warning to those out there who value their privacy, I didn't realize it was possible to spy on someone like that.