Reddit Stories - I, a man in my late TWENTIES, have a SENSE that my PARTNER,

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationshipadvice #couples #communication #emotions #selfreflection  Summary: I, a man in my late twenties, have a sense that my partner may not fully appreciate my feelings. This realization has led me to question our relationship dynamics and whether we are on the same emotional wavelength. Open communication is essential to address these concerns and strengthen our bond.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationshipadvice, couples, communication, emotions, selfreflection, personalgrowth, love, trust, understanding, mentalhealth, support, feelings, intimacy, connection, adviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. I, a man in my late twenties, have a sense that my partner, a woman in her mid-20s, only chose me as a compromise. It seems like her close male friend is actually the one she desires. Do you think it's time to break up? Apologies for the lengthy message. I didn't realize how much I had to say until I got it all typed out. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads all this. I've been with my girlfriend Jordan for a little over two years, we live together and we have two cats.

Up until this weekend I genuinely thought everything was perfect in our relationship, which I know is what everyone says in these posts, but I really was thinking that I was going to ask her to marry me sometime in the next year. We don't ever get into arguments, Jordan is very sweet and easygoing and normally we just mesh well on everything. Honestly, if everything in our relationship hadn't been so good up until now I probably probably would. would have just broken up with her this weekend. But because things have truly been so perfect I'm not sure if maybe I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion about what to do because my feelings got hurt. The other person who's important in this story is Jordan's friend Mark. She's known Mark for their whole lives because they both grew up in the same small religious community. Jordan isn't part of that religion anymore, she decided to leave the church when she was, I think,

19 and moved to the state that we live in now. Mark still is in the religion and apparently takes it really seriously, I'm told he now works for the church back in Jordan's hometown. Also, as far as I know Mark is the only person from the religious community that Jordan still talks to besides her parents, which I'm mentioning because I now think it could be a red flag. So on Saturday I met Mark for the first time because he was in our city and Jordan wanted us all to have dinner together. At this point I want to say, I will admit that when we were were first dating and I found out that Jordan had a best friend who was a guy I didn't really like it, especially because it seemed like they were on FaceTime with each other a lot.

But since it was a childhood friend and they mostly didn't see each other in person, I just trusted Jordan that Mark was only a friend and didn't let it bother me and eventually I got over it. So when we were going to dinner, I wasn't jealous or suspicious of Mark at all. If anything, I was somewhat excited to finally be meeting him since I've been hearing about him for two years. But then the way Jordan and Mark acted at dinner is what convinced me that there's something going on their other than just being best friends. I honestly don't even know how to describe it except to say that I've never seen two people act more obviously like they were in love with each other. They literally would not stop touching each other. They were constantly

touching each other's arms and shoulders and at some points they were actually even holding hands. They completely left me out of the conversation and were laughing about inside jokes, and every time they'd laugh they'd do this thing where they put their foreheads together or that was when they'd be holding hands. And then also they were just looking at each other in a way that I didn't feel comfortable with at all. It was honestly even worse than the touching. It just wasn't how anyone would look at somebody they're supposedly just friends with. I'm 100% sure that every stranger looking at our table thought that Jordan and Mark were the couple and that I was her brother or something. I felt like a third will the whole.

time and Jordan didn't even notice how awkward she was making it for me because she was way too focused on Mark and all the attention she was getting from him. And that's really not like Jordan at all. Usually she's a lot more considerate and would notice immediately if I wasn't having a good time or if she was accidentally being rude and excluding someone at the table. So it was genuinely really jarring to be sitting there with her and Mark and basically feeling like I didn't know my girlfriend at all. It was like he turned her into a completely different person who didn't even care

that I was alive. So finally at one point when Jordan got up to go to the bathroom I just said to Mark, so are you into my girl or what's going on here? Mark, nothing's going on at all. That ship sailed a long time ago. Me, what does that mean? Did you guys date at some point? Mark, no, we never did. And then when she left the church, we both knew it meant that we were never going to. And we've accepted being in each other's lives as friends. There's nothing else going on at all. Me, that makes it sound like the only reason you're not together is because she left the church. And all Mark did was shrug.

Me, well, what if she came back to the church? Would you marry her? Mark, oh, she's not going to do that. You might as well ask what would happen if a bicycle had six tires. And so then when Jordan came back to the table, Mark said to her, Op wants to know if we'd be married if you weren't a godless heathen. Jordan, why, did you two call your mom while I was gone? And then she and Mark both just laughed about it and changed the subject.

So because of dinner and the conversation and everything else that I've written about in this post, I really feel like Jordan and Mark are in love with each other and not just best friends like they say. And the only reason they aren't together is because they can't compromise about their religion. I think Jordan thinks that because she's okay with that decision, she expects me to be okay with being her second choice. And in the meantime, she's actually secretly wanting to be with Mark, so that makes me think that I should probably obviously just have self-respect and break up with her because I shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who would rather be with somebody else. But then the problem for me is that our relationship has been so perfect.

And Jordan has always treated me so well, except for this one night. The only time she's ever acted like this was on the one occasion that Mark was around in person. Normally, even when she's talking to him all the time, she's never made me feel this way. So on the one hand, I'm wondering if maybe it doesn't matter what Jordan's feelings are for Mark. as long as he isn't going to be around, it doesn't actually seem to affect our relationship. So maybe I just need to cool off and go back to trusting her that they are indeed only friends, even if it seems to be true that they have complicated feelings for each other. Or should I just end things?

Update November 10, 2023. I talked to Jordan on Wednesday night. The TLDR update to the situation is that I didn't break up with her after we talked about everything I feel like that would be too much of an overreaction for what's actually going on. I do still think I was right to be upset about what I saw happening at dinner on Saturday and Jordan didn't disagree with me about that. But I think I did jump to the wrong conclusion that it meant that she secretly actually wanted to be with Mark more than she wants to be with me.

Now that we've talked it out, I don't think there's a reason to end what's otherwise the best relationship I've ever had. And I'm glad that I didn't just immediately trust my instincts because there was more going on with the situation that I didn't really understand that Jordan has since told me. And now I do feel like she can be given some grace in this situation assuming nothing like this ever happens again. So thanks for the advice, especially for everyone who told me to just talk to her before I made a big decision. So when we talked I decided to take the main piece of advice that I got from everyone and start by telling Jordan that my feelings were hurt by the way

she treated me at dinner with Mark and then see how the conversation went from there. It turned into a very long talk so I don't want to try to remember exact quotes and get them wrong but here are the important things. I repeated to Jordan some of what I wrote in the post and said that I felt excluded by her and Mark, especially because they were being overly touchy-feely with each other to the point where it made me uncomfortable. Jordan seemed surprised like she didn't even notice that she and Mark were touching each other that much, but then she thought about it and said that I was right and apologized. She said that Mark is always really touchy with everybody and not just her, I asked, and so she didn't even think about it, but that she wished I would have said

something at the time because she didn't realize they were being that obnoxious. I said that was part of what bothered me, because I thought that normally she would have noticed something like that, but she was acting so different around Mark and not paying any attention to anything else including how I was feeling that it was honestly just made me question which one of us she cared about more or if she cared about him as more than just a friend. Jordan apologized more and said that she could understand why it would look that way to me, but that she loves me and cares more about me than anyone else in the world and that she didn't mean to act like that or make me feel that way. She said that she was trying to not make Mark feel

like a third will because of being a single guy out with a couple but obviously it backfired and just made me feel like the third will instead which wasn't what she wanted to do either. After that Jordan explained a lot to me about her history with Mark, and basically as she explained it she said that she fully admits she cares about him as more than just a normal friend, but she says that it's not in a romantic way. She said that's why she always specifically refers to him as her best friend and not just as her friend, and said that she would use the phrase he's like my brother if it weren't for the fact that she once had an actual brother, R-I-P, so she won't use that phrasing for anyone else. According to Jordan, the main thing that happened to make her and Mark

so close was that when she was 17 she tried to kill herself, and that was actually when everyone else in the community stopped talking to her and Mark was the only person who didn't. For the next couple of years until she moved he was literally her only friend and she said that he checked on her every single day to make sure she stayed alive which is also when they got into the habit of talking on the phone so much. And also apparently during this time Mark's parents thought they were dating and made a big deal about how they shouldn't be and that's why she made that remark during dinner, apparently calling Jordan a godless heathen is something that Mark's mom said. I did tell Jordan that Mark basically said to me that he thought that two of them would be

married if she had stayed in the church, and I asked her if she thinks that maybe Mark is in love with her even if she doesn't feel the same way. She said definitely not and I don't think she was being dishonest. I really don't agree with her, but I think she genuinely believes that Mark isn't into her in any way apart from friendship. Her opinion of the situation is that she also thinks she and Mark would eventually have gotten married if she had never left the church removed, but from her perspective it would have been more because of peer pressure than anything else and she doesn't think it would necessarily have been a good thing. She thinks Mark was just being honest about that and that possibly from his perspective he thinks he and Jordan would have made a good couple,

but he's probably thinking that because he's just assuming that in that scenario she'd be the perfect church wife so there's no reason why they wouldn't be a good couple. But then the big thing that happened at the end of the conversation is that Jordan told me that Mark is coming back through our city on his way home from this trip, and so she was going to invite him to hang out with the two of us again, but she said that if I'm going to be uncomfortable with him around, then she won't ask him. A lot of people were saying that if she didn't offer to cut contact with him or to cut down on contact with him, it meant that she valued him over me, so the fact that she brought up on her own that she wouldn't invite him to dinner with us again because I didn't

like it seemed like a really good sign to me. Based on everything else that she said, I do understand why she didn't offer to totally stop being friends with him and I wouldn't expect her to after what she told me about what happened when she was a teenager. So now I'm deciding to take Jordan's word for it that although she and Mark are weirdly close, it's for the reasons that she explained to me and not because she's in love with him. I think the fact that she was immediately apologetic instead of defensive was good, and the way she explained everything did make sense to me. I don't necessarily trust Mark but I do think I can trust Jordan. But I am going to to watch and see if it seems like she's still talking to him as much as she used to or if anything

changes or sounds different. I'm not going to be controlling and tell her that she can't talk to him or that she has to talk to him less, but I want to see if me talking to her about all of this causes her to act any differently at all. I'm kind of thinking she might realize on her own that the way Mark acts towards her actually does seem like he likes her is more than a friend now that I brought it up, but I don't know. It could be that things just go back to exactly the way they were before and I won't know if anything has actually changed until the next time Mark is around in person. But I don't think that's something I should keep worrying about before it happens. Relevant comments

Pixel underscore Spartan Op, did she acknowledge that the touching by her was inappropriate? I do not see how she could not have recognized how touchy they were in her lack of physical touch with you. Like many others have said, I am not sure Jordan was being completely honest with you. Did you ask here how she would have felt in a reverse situation? If the three of you meet again you might want to think about excusing yourself to go to the bathroom or something during the meal and instead hide and film their interaction while you are gone. See if Jordan changes how she interacts when you are not there. I say to capture it on your phone because then you have it to show her if you break up.

If she interacts appropriately while you are gone then she may have gotten the message. She should also start limiting her interactions with him, phone slash text, because that relationship is not healthy and no so should have to deal with that if you two get married. It needs to be dealt with now. Op replied. She did acknowledge that all the touching was inappropriate, yes. When she actually thought back on how much they were doing it and how over the top it was, she was embarrassed and realized she shouldn't have started acting like that just because Mark

makes it seem normal. I didn't ask her how she'd feel in the reverse situation because it seemed like she got it immediately as soon as I told her how it made me feel. If the three of us are ever together again I'll definitely be watching everything but I don't think there's a chance of that happening for a while. Now on to the other story. Story 2. Am I wrong for making my son take a paternity test? All names have been changed. This is a mess and I would appreciate opinions from unbiased people. It was recommended that I post here in another page.

I F-39 have two kids, M-17 and F-10. When I was 21 I had a one-night stand which resulted in my son Austin, the father, wanting nothing to do with my child. When my son was three I met my husband Mark M-38. My son adores my husband and calls him father. Austin met his current girlfriend through Mark's best friend Alan, her father. Macy and Austin have been close since they were young and we were all thrilled when we found out they were dating. After we found out, Mark and I sat Austin down and explained that we're happy for him but we needed him to know the importance of safe sex whether it was happening or not.

He was disgusted but said he understood and we left it at that. For context, my son is what others describe as shy and soft-spoken, he's really sensitive and takes harsh comments slash actions to heart. We thought everything was fine with him until he came home crying. He eventually told us Macy had cheated on him. I was angry and urged my son to leave, but my husband calmed us both and asked to speak with Austin privately. Essentially he asked Austin what he wanted to do and if he wanted us to stop seeing Macy and her father. Austin said he didn't want that and wanted to work things out with Macy. I was upset but didn't say anything, ever since that happened, I've hated seeing her around. All I think about when I see her is my son distressed and crying his eyes out.

I act cordial around her, but I don't like her. Around February, Austin came home looking rather upset again, so I sat down with him and asked what's going on. I wasn't expecting to hear him say what he said to me Macy's pregnant. I was furious, I told him I expected better from him. I also said that before anything happened, he needed to do a paternity test. He was angry that I suggested she cheated again, but I didn't like how she was suddenly pregnant. When Mark came home from work, I filled him in and he was equally upset. We all sat down and discussed it. Austin explained that I demanded a paternity test was done, and Mark wasn't happy to hear that.

I explained that she's cheated before, she could have cheated again. That led to a huge argument before we all calmed down. I asked if her parents knew. Apparently not, he said she agreed to tell them tonight. And sure enough, about an hour later Mark gets an angry call from Alan demanding that my son marries his daughter, and if Austin refuses he demands that he pay child support and stay out of this kid's life. Of course we were all angry and exhausted, so I said that nothing was happening until a paternity

test was done and I wasn't taking the word of a cheating little girl. He blew up at us and it was radio silence after the call. Macy was told she can no longer see Austin and he took it out on me. A few weeks ago, Alan contacted us and agreed to do a paternity test. I asked why the sudden change but he ignored me, he said he set up the appointment for May 5th. Austin went with Mark, he said he didn't want to be around me. It stung and I won't lie, it made me cry. when he said that. Results finally came in a few nights ago and he isn't the father, he was shattered. Instead of apologizing, he screamed that this was my fault and he'd have never known, he hasn't said much to me since. Maybe I was wrong for making him do a paternity test,

but I was only looking out for my son. Was I wrong for making him take a paternity test? Update October 25, 2023. Hello all, I got a few requests for an update. date, so here it is. First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for their opinions. I was questioning if I did the right thing since finding out he wasn't the father and thought I was too rough with the situation. We've all been in therapy, group and individual. My son has started to come around and apologized for the yelling and shitty choices. He calls it that, not me, he made. His therapist encouraged him to explain his thought process about the entire thing, and essentially, he thought she was She was his second girlfriend and thought that they had a strong bond until one of his friends

showed him a picture of her kissing some other guy, it turned into a big fight and only escalated when he found out they had slept together. I myself have been cheated on and it made me angry to know Austin had to experience it himself. He said he wasn't happy about the entire thing and he's feeling guilty for taking it out on me, we hugged it out and got ice cream afterwards. Our little ritual after we've had an argument, Austin also broke up with Macy after finding out, of course she blames me for the entire thing, but she's old enough to know that her actions have consequences, she hasn't been handling it well. Apparently she's been lashing out at everyone possible and attempted to egg our house.

Austin has been quiet, but I can tell he's starting to accept what's going on and he's been spending more time with friends. I've been giving him his space and I think that's helped in the long run. Now on to Mark, a lot of people had a lot of assumptions about him and some even suggested he is the father, but that is far from the truth. He's known this little girl her entire life and thought she was better than that. He wasn't trying to save his friendship with Alan. He was allowing our nearly adult son to make his own choices and deal with the consequences of said choices. Macy has also given birth recently, and we know who the father is. Unfortunately, the father was Austin's best friend Chris. He decided it was a good idea to tell

Austin while they were hanging out here, I wasn't in the room when he was told, but I was there when he started to beat Chris up. I was outside setting up Halloween decorations in the front yard when I heard a thunk and some screaming, so I ran in through the front door to find Austin punching Chris over and over again. Mark also heard the commotion and came to pull Austin off Chris. Chris apologized and left, it wasn't until he drove away that Austin broke down crying. We all went out for dinner that night, and we've tried to cheer him up, but I'm starting to realize he needs space on this and to let him come to me about it when he's ready. Mark and Austin have been going out the last couple of days. Mark says that he remembers when he was Austin's age and only hopes he's helping him realize that he's got a whole lifetime to find his one. Therapy has helped us out, but I know he needs his space to process this.

Thank you all once more and please take care of yourselves. Relevant comments. Prudence underscore Rigby Also, what happened with Alan? Oop replied. As far as I know, he's gotten in contact with Chris and his parents and they are working out child support. I haven't personally heard from him, but this is what Mark has told me.

Prudence underscore Rigby I wonder if he was as hostile with them as he was with y'all. Their friendship survived and scathed or were they distant up until the paternity test. Oop replied. They were distant, and they are still distant.