Reddit Stories - I DEDICATED several weeks ORGANIZING a joint birthday CELEBRATION for my spouse and...

Episode Date: November 28, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #birthdaycelebration #relationshipadvice #couples #eventplanning #communication Summary: I dedicated several weeks to organizing a joint birthday celebration for my spouse and myself. Despite my efforts, the event did not go as planned, leading to unexpected tensions. I seek advice on how to address the fallout and improve communication with my partner moving forward. Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, birthday, celebration, relationship, eventplanning, couples, communication, advice, planning, spouse, party, expectations, feelings, misunderstandings, support, love

I hope you enjoy this story. I dedicated several weeks organizing a joint birthday celebration for my spouse and sibling, carefully selecting meaningful presents for each. However, my husband felt envious because my brother's present was more thrilling than his, and demanded to switch gifts, then threatened our marriage when I refused. Birthdays were always a big deal in my family, especially since my little brother, 19M, and my husband, 30M, shared the same birthday. Every year, I, 28F, tried my best to make the day special for both of them.

This year, I put an extra effort planning a nice dinner with family, picking out meaningful gifts, and making sure both of them felt celebrated. But somehow, despite my best intentions, the day managed to turn into a complete disaster. I had spent weeks thinking about what to get each of them. My little brother, who had just turned 19, was a huge gamer. He had been saving up for a gaming console for over a year, but every time he got close, something came up college expenses, car repairs, or just life getting in the way. I knew how much he wanted it, so I decided to surprise him.

I ordered the latest console, bundled with a few games I knew he'd love, and wrapped it up carefully. For my husband, Scott, I went a more practical route. He had been talking about needing a new work laptop for months, complaining that his current one was slow and outdated. So, I got him a high-end model that was perfect for both work in personal use, along with a few accessories. I also threw in a sleek leather wallet and a watch that I knew matched his style. It felt like a well-rounded set of gifts, thoughtful, useful, and exactly what he had mentioned needing. The evening started off great. We had dinner at my parents' house,

where our family and friends gathered to celebrate. Scott didn't have much family on his side and had in a strange relationship with his parents so neither of them were coming. The food was amazing, the atmosphere was warm, and everything seemed to be going smoothly. That was until it was time for presents. My little brother went first. He tore open the wrapping paper and the second he saw the gaming console, his entire face lit up. He let out a shout of excitement, practically bouncing in his seat as he held it up for everyone to see. He kept, thanking me over and over, saying this was the best gift he had ever received. The pure joy on his face made every penny worth it. But then, I glanced at Scott. His expression had shifted completely. The excitement that

had been on his face just moments ago was gone, replaced with something I couldn't quite place disappointment. Jealousy? I didn't have time to analyze it because it was his turn to open his gifts. He unwrapped the laptop first, and I waited for a smile, for some sign that he was happy with it. Instead, he just nodded, muttering that it was nice. He moved on to the other gifts, offering a small thanks for each, but his energy felt forced like he was just going through the motions. At first, I brushed it off. Maybe he was just tired. But then, as the night went on, I started noticing little comments. He kept bringing up the gaming console and conversation, in a way that made it clear he wasn't just casually mentioning it. He said,

said things like how cool it must be to get something fun like that and how some people got all the luck while others got stuck with work-related gifts. I tried to ignore it, hoping he was just joking, but it only got worse. At one point, while my brother was setting up his new console, Scott turned to me and asked why I hadn't gotten him one too. His voice had that forced casual tone like he was pretending it didn't bother him when it obviously did. I reminded him that he wasn't much of a gamer and that he had barely mentioned gaming in years. He shrugged, saying that it would have been nice to have the option. He pointed out that since it was a shared birthday, I could have at least considered getting them both the same gift to be fair. That was when it hit me he

wasn't just a little annoyed. He was actually mad. I tried reasoning with him, explaining that his gifts were just as thoughtful, if not more, since they were things he had actually needed and wanted. But he wasn't having it. He kept making comments under his breath, things like how some people get to have fun while others just get boring big boy gifts. The final straw was when he outright suggested that my brother and he switched gifts. He said that since my brother was still young and had plenty of time to buy himself a console, it wouldn't be a big deal if he gave this one up. My brother, who had been so excited just minutes ago, suddenly looked nervous, unsure of what to say. I immediately shut the idea down, telling Scott that it was a ridiculous request.

My brother had been dreaming of that console for ages, and it wasn't fair to just take it away from him because Scott suddenly decided he wanted one too. Scott crossed his arms, clearly annoyed. He said that it wasn't about taking something away, it was about fairness. He claimed that I had played favorites, that I had chosen to give my brother something fun while giving him something dull and practical. He said that as my husband, he should come first, not my brother. At that point, the tension in the room was impossible

to ignore. My parents, who had been listening quietly, finally stepped in. My dad gave Scott a sharp look, telling him that he was acting childish. My mom, who had been so excited to see everyone enjoying themselves, now just looked disappointed. My brother, who had been so happy just minutes ago, was now clutching the box to his chest, as if afraid someone would actually take it from him. Scott wasn't letting it go. He kept sulking, making passive-aggressive comments about how he guessed some people just got to be the favorites. The rest of the night felt awkward. Instead of celebrating, I spent the evening trying to manage my husband's mood, while everyone else tried to pretend they weren't witnessing a grown man throwing a tantrum over a gift. By the time we got home,

I was exhausted. I had hoped that after cooling down, he would realize how ridiculous he was being, but the moment we walked through the door, he started up again. He said that I had embarrassed him in front of my family by shutting him down so harshly. He said that I had clearly put more thought into my brother's gift than his. And then, he threw out a line that made my stomach turn maybe he should start rethinking how much effort he puts into my gifts too, since apparently, I don't care about making him happy that was the moment I realized this wasn't just about a console. This was about something deeper. But what? And I wasn't sure I could ignore it any longer. Update 1, the night after the birthday disaster was unbearable. I had hoped that Scott

would sleep it off and wake up realizing how ridiculous he had been, but instead, he'd double down. The moment we got out of bed, he started again, making little jabs about how unfair it was, had spent his birthday watching someone else get his dream gift. At first, I ignored it. I figured if I didn't engage, he would eventually drop it. But that was wishful thinking. At breakfast, while I was making coffee, he sighed dramatically and muttered that it must be nice to be the favorite sibling. I turned to him, tired of the passive aggressive comments, and asked what he expected me to do. He shrugged and said I could at least admit that I had messed up and that I should have thought about how he would feel. That set me off. I told him that his reaction was ridiculous,

that he was a grown man pouting over a gift he hadn't even wanted until my brother got it. He scoffed, saying I was just dismissing his feelings and that it was my fault he felt like an afterthought. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I reminded him that his gifts weren't cheap or meaningless, that they were things he needed and had talked about wanting for months. But he rolled his eyes and said that gifts should be about wants, not just needs, and that I clearly put more effort into my brother's happiness than his. I had to walk away before I said something I'd regret. But he wasn't done.

Throughout the day, he kept bringing it up in different ways. He would randomly sigh and say how some people just get everything handed to them while others get boring big-boy gifts. At one point, he went so far as to jokingly suggest that my brother should at least let him borrow the console for a while to make things fair. By the evening, I had reached my limit. We were sitting in the living room, and he brought it up again, saying that if I really loved him, I would make this right. I finally snapped.

I told him that I wasn't going to apologize for his jealousy and that he needed to grow up and let it go. His response? He crossed his arms and said maybe he should rethink our entire relationship, since clearly, I prioritized my brother over my own husband. I burst out laughing because I couldn't believe how childish he was being. I asked if he was seriously threatening our marriage over a gaming console. He said it wasn't just about that. It was about how I had disrespected him and publicly embarrassed him in front of my family.

At that point, I realized that no amount of reasoning would get through to him. So I stood up, grabbed my keys, and told him I needed a break from this conversation because I wasn't going to spend another second entertaining this nonsense. that only made him angrier. He said that I was running away because I knew I was wrong, and that maybe he should be the one to leave instead since clearly, I didn't care about his happiness. I told him to go right ahead.

That shut him up for a moment. He stared at me like he hadn't expected me to actually call his bluff. I could see the flicker of hesitation in his eyes like he had thought I would panic and backtrack. But I didn't. I grabbed my bag and walked out, leaving him so. doing in his own bitterness. I drove around for a bit, trying to cool down. Eventually, I ended up at my parents' house. My mom immediately knew something was wrong, and when she asked,

I finally spilled everything. At first, she was shocked she had noticed Scott's behavior at the party but hadn't realized just how far he had taken it. My dad, on the other hand, just sighed and shook his head, muttering that he had seen this coming. That caught me off guard. I asked what he meant, and he said that Scott had always had a competitive streak, especially when it came to family dynamics. He pointed out that every time we visited, Scott would always make comments comparing his life to my brothers, as if he was measuring how much attention each of them got. Looking back, I realized he was right.

There had always been little things Scott making side comments about how my parents favored my brother, how he wished he had the kind of support my brother had growing up, how it must be nice to have people catering to you. I had brushed it off as harmless jealousy before, but now, it was starting to look a lot more like resentment. My mom asked me what I was planning to do. I didn't have an answer. I was still so angry, but a part of me also wanted to believe this was just a temporary tantrum that maybe, with time, he would see how ridiculous he was being and apologize. But then my phone buzzed. It was Scott. He had sent me a long text, saying that since I had abandoned him over something so small, maybe I wasn't as committed to the

marriage as he was. He said that he needed to be with someone who actually put him first, not someone who threw money at her brother while giving her husband's second-rate gifts. That was the moment I knew this wasn't going to blow over. This wasn't just a bad mood or hurt feelings this was how he actually saw things. He truly believed that he was being wronged, that I had failed him as a wife by not catering to his every whim. And worst of all, He was threatening to leave over it, not because I cheated, not because I betrayed him, not because I disrespected him, but because I gave my brother a gift. I stared at the message for a long time, feeling a mix of anger and exhaustion.

Then, without replying, I turned off my phone. For the first time in our marriage, I wasn't sure if I even wanted to fix this. Update 2 the next morning, I still hadn't responded to Scott's message. I had stayed at my parents' house overnight, needing space to think. I half expected him to blow up my phone, but instead, there was nothing. Not a single call or text since that last threat. Part of me knew it was a manipulation tactic he wanted me to be the one to chase after him, to feel guilty, to come crawling back and make things right.

I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. By mid-morning, I finally drove home. I wasn't sure what to expect when I walked through the door, but I wasn't surprised to find Scott sulking on the couch, arms crossed, staring at the TV but clearly not watching it. The second I stepped inside, he didn't even bother looking at me before saying he guessed I finally decided to come home. I ignored the bait and asked if he had calmed down. He scoffed, saying he wasn't the one who needed to calm down. According to him, I was the one who had walked out, I was the one who made things worse.

and I was the one who needed to apologize. I stared at him, waiting for him to realize how absurd that sounded. He didn't. Instead, he turned to me with a dead serious expression and said we needed to talk about how we were going to fix this. That caught me off guard. I asked him what exactly he thought needed fixing. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees,

and said that our marriage was clearly in trouble. He claimed he didn't want to be the bad guy here, but I had forced him into this position by treating him like an afterthought. He said he was willing to forgive me if I admitted I had been unfair and made it up to him. I blinked. Made it up to him? I asked what, exactly, he meant by that. He hesitated for a second before saying that since I had spent so much on my brother's gift, it was only fair that I do something equally meaningful for him. He said he wasn't saying I had to buy him the console he wasn't that petty, but I should be willing to show I valued him just as much.

I folded my arms and asked if he was seriously suggesting that he deserved compensation for my brother's gift. Scott sighed, acting as if I was twisting his words. He said he just wanted to feel equally important in my life and that it hurt him to see me go all out for someone else while treating his birthday like just another day. That was it. That was the moment my patience snapped. I told him I hadn't treated his birthday like just another day I had planned for weeks, picked out things he actually needed and wanted, and made sure he had a special night. Just because his gift wasn't as flashy as my brothers didn't mean I loved him less. He rolled his eyes and muttered that it wasn't just about the gift.

I asked him what it was about, then. He finally blurted out the truth. It was about the fact that he had been expecting something better, something exciting, and he had felt humiliated when he realized he wasn't the center of attention that night. I stared at him, stunned. So that was it. That was the root of the tantrum. It wasn't about the gaming console.

It wasn't about fairness. It wasn't even about me choosing my brother over him. It was about the fact that, for one night, he wasn't the only important person in the room. He had to share it with my brother. He didn't have a problem when I told him about it before. I shook my head, feeling my frustration turned into something closer to disappointment. I told him that I wasn't going to apologize for celebrating my brother's birthday alongside his and that I definitely wasn't going to reward him for acting like a spoiled child.

Scott sat back, looking completely unimpressed. Then he dropped the ultimatum. He said that if I really wanted to prove that I cared about him, I should fix this mistake otherwise. Maybe he needed to reevaluate whether this marriage was even working. I had to stop myself from laughing in his face. He expected me to grovel, me to prove my love. After he had spent the past three days acting like an entitled brat, I took a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm,

and told him I wasn't going to entertain this anymore. If he wanted to leave, he knew where the door was. Scott blinked, clearly caught off guard. I think he expected me to beg him to stay, to panic at the thought of losing him. But I didn't. Instead, I grabbed my keys again and said I was going to stay at my parents' house for a while until he figured out what kind of husband he actually wanted to be. His expression darkened. He said I was running away again, proving that I didn't care about our marriage. I told him I wasn't running I was just done wasting my energy on someone

who saw our relationship as a competition. With that, I turned and walked out the door. That night, I talked to my parents again, explaining what had happened. My mom was furious on my behalf, while my dad just shook his head, saying that he had always seen this coming. He said Scott had never really respected me he had always expected me to cater to him, always acted like he was entitled to my time, energy, and now, even my money. I let myself think about something I had been trying to avoid. Had I married the wrong person, Scott had shown me who he truly was someone who believed he

was entitled to everything I had to offer but gave me nothing but complaints in return. Someone who could watch me bend over backward for him and still whined that it wasn't enough. Someone who, the moment he didn't get exactly what he wanted, was willing to threaten to leave. I had always thought marriage was about partnership, about lifting each other up. But with Scott, it felt like I was constantly being weighed down. If we had children together, would he compete with them too? I cannot choose the wrong father for my future children, and I was tired of carrying it all by myself. If Scott really wanted to leave, I wasn't going to stop him. Update 3. The next few days passed in a tense silence. I stayed at my parents' house,

giving myself space to think, while Scott made no effort to reach out. But then I got a text from his best friend's wife, Maxine, that made everything clear. We had hung out a few times and I felt she was genuinely a smart and caring person. She asked if we were really separating because I refused to buy Scott a gaming console. I nearly dropped my phone. Apparently, Scott had been going around telling his friends that I was the one throwing our marriage away over something stupid. According to him, I had humiliated him on his birthday, refused to apologize, stormed out like a child, and was now abandoning him over a gift. The sheer audacity of it left me speechless. I called Maxine right away, demanding to know exactly what Scott had told them.

She hesitated for a moment before saying that he had made it sound like I had money to burn but chose to spoil my brother instead of my husband. He had painted himself as this devoted husband who was heartbroken that I valued my baby brother more than the man I had vowed to spend my life with. He had completely twisted the story to make me look like the selfish one. I could already imagine the crocodile tears he must have used while whining about how I had abandoned him, how I had refused to make things right, and how he was now rethinking our entire marriage. I could also imagine exactly why he was doing it. If Scott had learned anything about me over the years, it was that I hated being misunderstood. He wanted me to come running back, desperate to clear my name. I wasn't going

to play his game. I simply told Maxine that there was a lot she didn't know and that I had no interest in justifying myself to people who believed whatever Scott fed them. She let out a low whistle and said that my response pretty much confirmed Scott's worst fears that I was actually done with him. I paused. Was I done with him? I wanted to believe there was still something left to salvage. But with every stunt he pulled, I found myself caring less and less. She said Scott was an idiot and nobody believed him. I blinked. She actually laughed when her boyfriend put him on speaker when he started whining about the gaming console. They had told him to get over it. The truth was, it was that bad. And the worst part? I wasn't even surprised by any of it. That was what really hit

me. The fact that Scott pulling something like this felt, inevitable. Update for the realization that I didn't even want to fight for my marriage anymore hit me harder than I expected. Once that thought settled in, everything else became painfully clear. Scott wasn't just acting childish and entitled, he was childish and entitled. And worse? I had been enabling it for years without even realizing it. I had made up my mind. I was done. There was no. There was no salvaging this. I wasn't going to waste another second of my life trying to reason with a man who threw tantrums when things didn't go his way. I didn't even tell Scott in person. I sent him a text. I told him that this wasn't just about a birthday gift. It was about his complete

lack of respect for me, his competitiveness with my brother, and his entitled behavior. I told him I was tired of being treated like a parent, like a caretaker. I told him I was done and I would leave my parenting for my future children. I also told him to pack his things and get out of my house. It wasn't technically my house, it was my parents' house. Bought together with me before my marriage, they had paid for the down payment and the renovations, while I paid the mortgage and I was paying them back in installments too. I had also made sure my parents' names were the only ones on the deed after my marriage, a precaution my parents insisted I had taken. And thank God I did. We were going to transfer it to my name after I had made my last payment to them. When I told

him to leave, he lost his mind. At first, he refused to believe me. He actually laughed and said I was being dramatic. He thought if he ignored it, I'd cool off and come crawling back. When I didn't, he switched tactics. For the next week, he started love bombing me. He sent flowers to my parents' house, called me constantly, and left voice messages talking about how much he loved me, how he couldn't imagine life without me, how he regretted everything and just wanted to talk. He sent long, emotional texts about how he messed up and took me for granted and how he just wanted to fix things. He even showed up at my parents' house unannounced, asking to speak to me. My dad answered the door and told him very calmly that if he didn't leave, he'd call the police.

That was when things took a turn. The suite, apologetic messages turned into angry, guilt-tripping ones. Suddenly, I was cruel for leaving over something so stupid. Suddenly, I was selfish for not even giving him a chance to make things right. Suddenly, I was a gold digger for keeping my own money instead of supporting my husband. I ignored every single one of his messages. Eventually, I had to block his number. But I still had to deal with him one last time getting him out of my house. I went back with my parents for support. and Scott was still there, acting like nothing had happened. When I reminded him that I had told him to leave, he smirked and said I wasn't serious.

I was. I told him he had exactly one week to get out or I'd file for a formal eviction. And if he damaged a single thing in that house on his way out, I'd sue him for every penny he had. The smirk disappeared real quick after that. It took him five days to move out. He didn't try to beg me to stay anymore. He was furious, cold, and petty until the very end, but I didn't care.

The moment he was gone, I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. It was over. Finally. Update 5. Filing for divorce was easier than I expected. Emotionally? It was freeing. Legally?

A straightforward process, thanks to the fact that I had protected my assets. The hard part? Dealing with Scott's delusions. The moment he got served the divorce papers, he lost it. At first, he outright refused to sign. He tried arguing that I was just acting out and would regret it. He claimed we could fix things, and that every marriage had rough patches. I told him this wasn't a rough patch, this was a wake-up call, and I was done.

That was when he switched gears. He said he wouldn't accept the divorce. that it was unfair and one-sided and that he had rights too. I told him I was more than happy to take this to court. That if he tried to drag it out, I would sue him for every wasted legal fee and ensure he left this marriage with nothing. That shut him up real quick.

A few days later, he changed tactics again this time, playing the remorseful husband. He said he had thought about everything, and that he understood where he went wrong. He was finally ready to accept his faults. but it was too late. I had given him four years to change. He only cared now because he had no other choice. I didn't respond. I didn't engage. Update 6. Scott and I are officially divorced. Even his lawyer was flabbergasted about the gaming sole incident. Yes, my house is safe.

He didn't have much to his name anyway and he didn't get anything from me except half of the joint account savings which was barely anything. Another thing I have to thank my parents for.