Reddit Stories - I INFORMED my PARTNER'S former lover that he RETAINED her intimate images and

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #boundaries #communication #trust #privacy  Summary: A person confronted their partner's former lover about retaining intimate images, leading to a heated discussion. This action raised questions about trust, privacy, and the boundaries of past relationships. The situation escalated, prompting reflections on the implications of sharing personal content and the responsibilities that come with it.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, intimacy, privacy, trust, boundaries, communication, emotionalhealth, conflictresolution, pastrelationships, consent, personalboundaries, socialdynamics, relationshipadvice, ethicaldilemmas, onlineprivacyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. I informed my partner's former lover that he retained her intimate images and revealed this, causing him to be enraged with me. Is it unjust for me to feel distressed about this situation? My first relationship, it's one of them when you're basically together, but no labels, we go to different Eunice so distance makes it hard, and other things too like him lying and being on dating apps when we said we were exclusive. Admittedly I am an insecure person, I don't let it bother me on the

daily, but when I see pictures of his ex I hate myself. This started when he kind of would bring her up a lot. I thought it was kind of weird, but they were together for three years. I found out her name through him talking about her, found her Instagram. She could be a victorious secret model, and I'm not exaggerating. She is very beautiful. I'm not saying I'm ugly, but I'm definitely nowhere near her. She's an easy ten-tenths. He said his friends would refer to her. He said his friends would refer to him as the one with the fit bird. Not a fan of that language, but they're right. I'm a six-tenths, seven on a good day. I'm not ugly, but I'm not beautiful. It upsets me a lot. It makes me feel very bad about myself. I've tried my hardest to get over it, he says he is done with her. But he still has

all her pictures. They broke up well over a year ago, maybe two years ago. He still has all the including her explicit pictures. I have now seen this woman's pictures, and yeah, I definitely hate myself now. Why does he still have her pictures? Am I crazy for being upset over this? Am I letting my insecurities get to me? Is this normal?

I get having a few pictures for memory's sake, but to keep lewd pictures of the woman you claim you feel nothing for? I don't know. All I do know is I feel bad, things are great with us, he is so funny and caring. And I feel comfortable with him. I don't feel comfortable with many people.

For example, instead of going home, he stayed with me, went to the shop and we cooked his home foods together to make sure I'd eat. And I know he really does care for me. He comforts me while I cry about my past father. He listens to me when I need to rant. He always seems excited to see me. So I think that it's just in my head. but if he really did love slash like me, surely he wouldn't do all those things, and he wouldn't

want to wait till December, this has been going on since February, to put labels on it. But it's so hard to try and ignore his lying over the dating apps, how quickly he got with someone else when we we split, he wasted no time, not even a week later he was just with someone else, but fair enough because we weren't together, but it still hurts. It stings because he expressed how he loved me and he wouldn't. It made me doubt the genuineness of words going forth. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal if he didn't say such things. Like yeah, it would sting, but I would get on with it. Because I do have feelings for him, and I'm a bit naive when it comes to relationships. And this thing with his gorgeous ex. I don't fear them getting

back into together, I think he is so, so beautiful, but she is way out of his league. I'll be so real. Can't even call her a 10-10th she's scale-breaking. She had always been pretty, but she had that breakup glow up. Think of Eastern European models, she could easily be one if she isn't already on her way. They're never getting back together, plus he tells me it was a toxic relationship and neither of them would ever want to get back together. And, I stalked, she has a boyfriend. But I feel not enough, if I was enough he wouldn't keep those type of pictures of her.

Or make a big deal about deleting them like. saying he can't be bothered. Here are some other red flag in retrospect. He tried to give me his ex's shirt to wear. He told me he loved me before we met in person, when we first met, and at random points throughout our time together. I feel as though he told me that specifically when things were ending between us and I would stay BC the idea of someone loving me is foreign and I didn't think it would happen to me. I met him in Hinge Lowell. I caught him twice on dating apps. he said he wouldn't do it again the first time and he was only doing it for a confidence boost. But he promised he would delete them.

And then a week or so later I found him still active on the apps. He would consistently mention other girls to make me jealous. He would waste my time, telling me to stay up so we could call, and then never calling me or making me stay up really late when I told him I'd be very busy the next day. I asked him if he could at least text me if he isn't able to call so I can do other things or go to bed instead of staying up like an excited kid on Christmas Eve. Loki fetishized my race and sexuality. I thought it was a joke, but he referenced both things a lot.

To the point it made me uncomfortable. I mentioned this to him, that I thought it was weird and I'm more than just bisexual and mixed black and white. Update 1. He claims he just hasn't gotten round to deleting them, but told me he deleted all picks of her on Snapchat. and he has loads of photos in his camera roll so he doesn't see them. But emo, he should have deleted them, not even for my sake but hers. Especially if he has already taken the time to delete them on snap.

I think it's weird to keep them kind of pictures of someone you're no longer with and haven't spoken to in nearly two years. I don't think her or her boyfriend would appreciate him having them pictures. I know I certainly don't. I'm kicking him out and ending it this morning. He made me feel bad by saying I'm all he has. But I'm trying to respect myself and stick with it. I have a bad habit of taking him back when he upsets me,

because I tell myself I'm being dramatic. But I don't feel respected and with everyone reinforcing what I've been thinking. I do think it's time to get rid of him. I think he it is just hard because he has a lot of my firsts. Lastly, I do agree I need to work on my self-esteem. And I have, I've made tremendous growth compared to a lot of my firsts. where I was. I can leave the house, I can entertain the idea of dating, I don't fixate on stupid superficial things. I am a pock that grew up in very white areas in the 2010s. Unfortunately, a lot of what

I don't like about myself was instilled because I was different. I never saw a representation of people who looked like me, like having very coily hair. I had this disgusting notion built into my head that because I'm mixed I should at least have loose soft curls and a lighter complexion and green slash blue eyes. I hate that I ever thought that, it's so stupid. But now I wear my natural coily hair out. I don't have to try and cover up my face to try and hide it and the fact I can say I know I'm not ugly as substantial growth from my childhood to teen years. I'm actually extremely proud and thankful for my mixed heritage. Thank you all for your words. Update 2. I wanted him back, I have issues I know, he doesn't want me. That's it. Comments where Op has replied.

Putting, idiot, if he is on dating apps while in a committed relationship, then he's not committed. Many cheaters make their so feel special when they are around them. It's kind of manipulation. They also make their side pieces feel that way. As for the nudes, I think it's inappropriate for him to still have them after breaking up with her, much less while dating someone else. I know I would be creeped out to know that any of my exes were ogling my nude pictures. Also, I don't really think he's as over her as he wants you to believe. If he was, he wouldn't have those pictures. Speaking of, have you ever asked him to get rid of them?

If he refused, big red flag. My advice to you would be to end the relationship. He does not respect you and doesn't deserve you. Op, I asked him to delete them when I found out. He deleted some and said he would do the rest later because there was a lot. He also said he is waiting to get a new phone, like what year he is living in. In 2023 we have iCloud that transfers everything when you get a new phone, including the whole camera roll. I ended it and blocked him on everything. After reflecting and not having him physically

with me, I'm quite disgusted. Update 3. Ada for telling my ex's ex that even though they broke up two years ago, he He still has all her explicit pictures, ranging from age 17 to 20, he is 22 now. So I realized I had attachment issues, LOL. I ended it, and then he was asking for us to not end. Until he also agreed we should not see each other anymore. But then, I didn't want to end it because I loved him, and also had low self-worth, thinking he would be the only person to love me.

With retrospect he didn't love me he just like talking and, not exclusively, but mostly he'd only really tell me he loved me when things were looking like they were going to end or if I said it first. He is the type of person to tell you what you want to hear. Anyways, time passed. I do still care for him, way more than I should, but my feelings for him have dwindled. I still miss him, but I don't love him. And I realized how fucked up it truly is to have pictures of your ex, 17 to 20 years old. He is now 22, not saying he is a pedo, but legally speaking he did have child porn on his phone. I gave him many lectures on how bad it is that he still had them. He gave stupid excuses like I can't be bothered, or I'm going to sort it when I get a new

phone, as if ICloud doesn't exist. He is a liar, someone who tells you what you want to hear. He just agreed with me to shut me up. I had a feeling he probably still had them pictures even after he said he'd delete them. Surprise he did not. When we stopped seeing each other one time, I asked him to delete what he has of me. He said he would, I come to find out he did not. Seems to be a thing he does. I messaged his ex and told her that he still has all them pictures. A part of me did feel bad, because again I still care for him,

and I knew in doing this he'd never talk to me again, so that was kind of sad. But I thought if it was me in her position, would want someone to do the same for me. I also asked many females what I should do, they all said tell her office. obviously. So I did, she told me how she asked him to delete all her pictures when they broke up and he said he would. This sounded very familiar. She thanked me for telling her. She called him and asked for a screen recording of him deleting everything or she's calling his mom and letting her know what her son is up to. He eventually did. The gross thing is, he has two younger sisters. He tells me how he is scared for how they will be treated by men when

they grow up. He is scared they'll encounter men like himself emo. He was very angry with me, told me I was doing this all out of spite. He tried to play victim, which I found very pathetic. Saying I didn't think this would blow up in my face again and thanks for kicking me down lower than I already felt as if he is the one who's been violated. Actions have consequences. I think he still thinks about her. I refer you to the fact that he still had her pictures. He tried to give me her shirt to wear. He made her one of his playlist covers. When I told him that was weird, he changed it.

I had to ask him to stop talking about her. They were together for three years, and she is very beautiful. But two years had passed with no contact. She had very much moved on. Why couldn't he? Anyways, I know what was the right thing to do. I'm going through waves of, I'm glad I did it and I'm sad he is hurt, but he is not the victim.

And this was a truly eye-opening experience to who he really is. A little bit of a purve, collecting girls' explicit pictures as if they're Pokemon cards. I need to have better standards for myself. So I'm going on a date in a couple days. I met this guy at Wireless in the summer. Nothing happened. I've only met him once because he went to America for his placement year and I was in a stupid on-again-off-again prolonged shittanship with the pictures of girls collecting guy.

But he is back in the UK for Christmas. He is so wholesome and cute, funny. I'm punching afar, but he approached me. Crazy. And he is so sweet. He doesn't ask me for pictures, he doesn't want to have sex straight away, he'd rather build towards it which makes me happy

because I want the same thing. We're going to see Christmas lights, match halates, food, and then I'm going to ask him if he wants to stay around mine so we can watch movies. He is very respectful, optimistic and caring. He has sunflower energy. Also he is good and doesn't drink smoke, etc. I'm sober now and being around someone who does that stuff is hard.

Sorry for this being too long. Now on to the next story. Story 2. I told my ex not to contact me again after we broke up, but my friends tried to get my ex and me back together. me 24m and my ex 26 were both from the same friend group and to keep it simple after a while we dated for some months during the relationship she would always want to do some really dangerous stuff hike bang jump car races and honestly i am not the person for that and would have days absolutely terrified for her life

so after one of her friends got a serious injury i put my foot down and told her i couldn't live like that anymore we got heated and she told me i'm a boring sad person who will die a so I said I hope yours hobbies have the consequences I expect them to have and after that we both parted ways mad and never spoke again. We still are from the same friend group and we both while not speaking specifics just said we couldn't compromise on something and since then. As for the last four months I have not hanged with them much as they are more her friends than mine. Issue came as one of my friends from this group asked me if I wouldn't mind he giving her my new number, as she wanted to get closure and I accepted because I didn't care

enough. So, she did call, and it started decently, just small talk, and she asked why I'm so reclusive now, nothing that mattered much, but soon enough, she started talking about her life. She spent a whole 25 minutes speaking about her new boyfriend, how she's able to do what she wants and how fun and amazing it is to have support on the things she liked, how much she missed out when we were together and that maybe I should change my views a little and my life would improve like hers did. I told her okay and she replied confused. quickly enough I said I couldn't care less for her new life and honestly to fuck off and never contact me again if she just wanted to brag. To be fair she wasn't really condescending with her

tone but hearing from your ex how their life is so much better without you get into you. After that I blocked her and as quick as I blocked her all of my friends started texting me about how rude I was and that she was just making small talk and I shouldn't have been so angry that she's happy. So I, I didn't think I was being an asshole, but I guess they do. Ada for what I did Edit Well the situation just got a little worse As all of these people I call friends are pressuring me into talking to her more

Which I don't want to do so now they are pressuring me into going out tomorrow And I'm not stupid so I know it's going to end up with only the two of us speaking I really didn't want to go but one of those guys is kind of that my boss girlfriend So I don't want to get on her bad side I will update soon enough Edit 2 Okay so I did as I said and hang out with them and holy shit I'm going to make an update tomorrow because it got even fucking worse.

I would like to update today, but I'm currently typing this while my phone is being bombarbed. Sorry to make this a cliffhanger, but I will take a break from all before updating. Update 1. Sorry for the long text, but a lot happened to quickly, and as much as I tried to compress the text, there's too much stuff to say, sorry. Hello again, friends, as I said before, I did went to hang out with them, more worried for my job than anything, and it went as I expected. I got there, oh wow, what a surprise everyone was late except my ex, never saw that coming,

and by what was clearly a coincidence the host had to buy something, leaving us both in the house, how unexpected right. Seriously, can't believe I actually got set up, I knew I would but the fact it really happened, insane. As for what was said, we sat down very awkwardly, then she actually said she was sorry, surprisingly, she said she acknowledged how she sounded like a bitch, but that she was sad I cut her out before she could say anything, after that we started to have a conversation about our relationship and whatnot. But I shit you not, the second I asked, what about your boyfriend she got dead

silent and looked lost for some seconds before saying some random info about him and randomly started telling me she actually missed me a lot and we complimented each other. Her current boyfriend is too much like her and she feels in danger sometimes for not having someone who tries to be careful. It went like that until she noticed I wasn't really caring much for what she said and typed to someone, Then out of literally nowhere all my friends ambushed me to tell me I should stop running, that if I continue to isolate myself and drive them away because I couldn't get over the breakup was wrong and they are worried for me. I honestly got really overwhelmed with it and said I needed a break.

Then they tried to stop me saying this was an intervention and I can't run from it. I started to feel really bad and I thought I might have a panic attack. They noticed I was having problems breathing and let me in a room away. Then they sent my ex to comfort me and as much as I fucking hate to say it, it somehow worked. I hate that having her cuddle with me worked and I was able to go control myself again. After that I said I needed to go home and would speak with them later, she literally asked, Can we try to get back together? And all I did was say, give me time to think then I walked back home and my phone started

receiving messages from everyone telling me I should give her a chance and that we clearly still had feelings. I honestly feel awful, I stated to actually doubt myself in it all, I'm still suffering with my anxiety almost making me explode, but I wanted to update before. anything. I'm starting to think maybe I could give her another chance, but I quickly doubt that Edia, then I doubt the doubt. I feel like a mess and I honestly just want some help. Maybe I could repost this in the relationship advice subreddit but Ike. Update 2. Well, been a while, I am alive at the very least so hello there. I literally just got my phone back and saw all the notifications

of the last posts. I might read and comment on some of the last update later. So, needless to I had a mental breakdown and a very bad one at that. I don't remember much of the last week and days. I just woke up in a hospital and later was sent a psychological evaluation before finally being able to leave, not alone though. From what I heard, my friends got worried that I wasn't answering any of them and sent my ex to check on me. She apparently found me on the floor with some meds on the ground and called an ambulance. I don't recall any of that, but there are the medical records so it seems

to be real. After that, I was completely out. maybe comatose died. For about three days and when I woke up surprisingly enough she was sitting in the couch on the side of my medical bed, she started crying and apologizing for what she and they all did. It seems you guys were correct from what I read, it was all a grand plan to get us back together and make me less depressed. She explained how she felt like trash after we broke up and even stopped doing the dangerous stuff because she was feeling so down, and also that the supposed boyfriends obviously didn't exist and was a prop to try and make me jealous. after that didn't work out with the call she went for the full-blown plan of the ambush.

They did expect me to get anxious but that I would later call her back and give my final decision. Well, I guess they didn't expected me to have a mental breakdown and try what I did and their whole plan failed. By what I heard they actually thought they killed me indirectly and were all stressed and messed up for the three days I was gone, all of them getting medical leaves to spend time with my lifeless self. After I woke up they all came to see me and apologized as well, saying they had the experience as eye-opening and would understand if I cut all contact with them all, after that I went to the psychological evaluation and was confirmed to be a threat to myself, pain in the ass, and was either going to have to have to go to a mental facility or have

someone watched me 24-7. Because I have zero contact with my family my ex asked me if I wouldn't mind if she was the one to be that person. I of course protested in the start but later decided it was best that than going to a mental facility again, I have been in these places often it's not fun at all. So that's how it is currently, we are living in her house, bigger than mine. She's been doing all of the work and chores while I do nothing and just keep my emotionless face. The girl who's dating my boss apparently is way more serious than I thought and they were engaged, so she made him give me my salary until I get better plus up on it with the medical leave. Something I do appreciate. I know I sound like a dumb prick to start living with her,

but currently we have set boundaries. She haven't even touched my arms since after the hug when I woke up. she's kind of like a maid more than anything. We of course still speak and I can hear the guilt in her voice. She definitely didn't expect it this turn and is ready to accept it as it is. As she stated, if you never gets better I'm ready to take care of you. If you do get better and wants to leave, that's fine. If you are never able to love me back, that's okay. It's my fault this happened. It seemed legit.

For now, it works. I don't know how I feel now as the meds have made me really numb, so I don't know if I care or not for her currently. Maybe will be the last update. I will be answering any questions now, though. I got time to spare for it now.