Reddit Stories - I PERUSED my SPOUSE'S diary and found out that he DESIRED for me

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationshipadvice #marriage #trustissues #communication #diarysecretsSummary: I discovered my spouse's diary and was surprised to find their deep desires for me. This revelation sparked a mix of emotions, including curiosity and concern about privacy. It prompted me to reflect on our relationship dynamics and the importance of open communication about feelings and desires.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, marriage, trust, communication, secrets, emotions, personalgrowth, introspection, love, desire, honesty, vulnerability, couples, diary, feelingsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. I perused my spouse's diary and found out that he desired for me to vanish so he could wed a different lady. I departed with our infant and now I am assuming control of our company. I, 33F, and my husband, 37M, has kept a semi-regular journal throughout our four-year relationship. He does not keep it hidden and up until now I have always respected his privacy. We had a heated conversation and my gut told me to read it so after he left. left for work, I did. He wrote several times that he hates me and at one point he said when I was sick he hoped I would die. When I read those words I packed up me and our baby

and went to a friends where I'm staying now. I took pictures of all the pages. I told him I just need some space to cool off after our conversation and I will be home soon. I booked with my therapist and contacted a lawyer. We had a rough patch recently that lasted about two weeks. It was a dark time. but we pulled through. There was no violence, no moments where I was afraid of him, just sincere conversations about difficult feelings. The notes of hatred correspond with that rough patch. The rest of the journal is tame and reflects the man I know and love mostly little self-pep talks around work and family stuff, goals, habit-tracking. He has sent me several warm messages since I left. He says he's glad I'm taking space for myself, that he looks forward to reconnecting

when I come home, it's okay to have little hiccups, that he loves me, etc. I was sure our relationship was over the moment I read that he hates me, or even the moment I felt the need to violate his privacy. But the warm messages and the rest of the journal have me wavering a little. I understand the need to blow off steam when things are tense, and journaling is a healthy way to do that. But never in even our darkest moments have I fantasized about his death. Splitting up maybe, but this feels so sinister. I don't know how I could ever feel safe around him again. Is this just healthy venting and I'm overreacting here? Has anyone else had similar thoughts about a spouse that they then got over?

Or is this a man I need to protect myself and my baby from? Edit to add context. The rough patch was about his feelings for another woman. He didn't cheat, but his friendship with her makes me uncomfortable. The part of the journal where he says he hates me was written as a love letter to her. He says he thinks about me dying and being replaced. Comments Jealous ad 5146

I'm married 17 years and I've never wished my spouse would die. Like what? Does he know you seen this? He just left it out like he wanted you to see it. And you are the mother of his child. Op he doesn't know I've seen it. He has always left it out. Carl away, it is over.

He wrote a love letter in his journal to another woman. You know it is more than a friendship. No matter what he says to your face. Stay strong. Contact an attorney. Go to your home while he is at work and gather more of your belongings. I am sorry. Don't believe his words now.

He is seeing a strong woman stand up for herself and reality is hitting him in his face. 20 Keller 12. Email those pictures to a at least one person you trust before he finds out you've seen them. Update 1. I hope I'm doing this right. Thank you so much for all the advice and words of encouragement. Some of it was tough to read, but still deeply appreciated. Wanted to do an update because a lot of people were concerned for my safety.

I took a commenter's advice and sent the pictures to a trusted friend. She pointed out that a passage I initially read is every day I think about telling her actually very clearly says killing her. I guess my brain couldn't comprehend that at first. I received a ton of helpful perspective and support, but that comment in particular might have saved my life. After I digested that, I called a crisis line and they were quite helpful in talking me through the shock. They also put me in touch with a center that's helping me get more affordable legal help. Bought some more time from my husband. Told him I'm enjoying getting out of town and I'd like to stay an extra night or two. I have therapy tomorrow and an appointment with a social worker to make a

safety plan. I feel like I have a good crew of family, friends, and professionals supporting me. Absolutely zero regrets now about reading his journal. My get told me something was off, but I couldn't have imagined a worst-case scenario as bad as this. I'm so glad the inner alarm bells were louder than my conscience this time. Nothing about this marriage is worth risking my life to salvage. Update 2, just want to say a huge thank you to this community for helping me through a challenging time. Your comments and messages have been such a comfort and I'm so touched by the kindness of internet strangers. At the suggestion of the social worker, I reported his journal to the local police, and that was, unsurprisingly, a one-tenth experience. The officer I spoke to chided me for

reading his journal, spoke about his reasonable expectation of privacy and basically threatened to tell my husband I had reported him. I had to firmly advocate for myself and stress that I was afraid for my life. It was an awful conversation, but now there is at least a record which includes photos of the journal. The family lawyer I spoke with advised me to file a protection order right away. The order would ban him from all contact with me and our child, bar him from our residence, my workplace, and any other places I request. He would then have to prove to a judge that he is a fit parent to be able to see his daughter again, and then we would go to mediation to try and agree on what visitation would look like. Another wrench in this situation

is that we own a business together. I have an appointment with another lawyer this week to discuss what my options are there. The business was my idea, I'm confident I can run it without him, and I want to, but he's put a lot of time into it and it's the main source of income for both of us right now. It's a good moneymaker, and I'm worried he'd fight me tooth and nail on this. We take turns going in, so I went as usual on Saturday, with a friend and a baseball bat. I continued my active intending to reconcile, doing video calls with the baby, etc. while I was at our workplace, I found another journal. Page after page love letters to this other woman going back months. The progression from I liked seeing you at the grocery store to I drove

past your house today was wild. He writes about how he's deeply in love with her, can't wait to marry her, etc. He wrote about every interaction he's ever had with her and the poor woman seems completely innocent and oblivious. Even what he perceived as flirting seems like basic politeness. He mentions a few other times that he wants me to die. The most recent entry was from the day before. He writes to her that he thinks I might be breaking up with him, but that's fine because he never liked me that much anyway. If he's upset about anything, it's just about losing the house and how the breakup will be perceived by our friends and community. Curious if people think I should warn the other woman, it's my instinct not to, at least not before the ink dries on our impending paperwork.

I was already concerned about how he might react to being served with a protection order, most worried that he might try to sabotage our business or trash the house. Given how preoccupied he seems to be with his public image, I made a plan to confront him about the journals and use the protection order as leverage. Here's how it went down. I left the journal and my baby with my friend and went to our house with two trusted male friends and the baseball bat. They waited on our porch.

I told my husband that if they heard anything louder than a speaking voice, they would come in with the bat. I told him I had to tell him something he wouldn't like to hear, and he needed to know that I had already taken steps to protect myself. I told him I read the journals, specifically what he said about wanting me to die and thinking every day about killing me. I said I had taken photos, that they are backed up, and a trusted source also has copies. That I also have the original copy of the journal full of love letters. I wondered until this moment if he had intended for me to find them but he was obviously blindsided.

He tried to say it was just venting, but I told him I would not be taking any chances or entertaining anything he has to say about it. That after reading what I read, I will never trust him or feel safe around him ever again. I told him that no one that knows him knows about this yet. The men on the porch just know that I'm breaking up with him and need support. This was true, aside from the friend that I called to stay with and the other friend I sent the photos to, who lives on the other side of the country. I said I am willing to protect his reputation here if he cooperates with me. I told him that I don't even have to ruin his chances with the other woman, but I can. I said that he can either do what I need to feel safe, or I can have that safety court ordered. He asked

what I wanted, and I said I wanted him to give up the business. We'll sort out the details after I speak to the other lawyer, but for now I want his keys and I'll be changing the passwords on everything. He didn't put up any kind of fight. He didn't want to hear anything about what it would look like to go through the courts. He didn't ask about our baby. He just calmly got up and got the keys and asked if I wanted anything else. I told him that any communication with me should be about separation logistics only, like arranging a time for me to collect the rest of my things. Since then he has been blowing up my phone, saying I know his heart, let's walk back from the edge, let's talk to a therapist, he's sorry his words hurt me, etc. Each time, I just tell

him he's crossing my boundaries and he backs off. He apparently told his mom and sister everything and they're supporting him in getting help. He's been cooperative so far. He's interviewing for a new job, seeing a therapist and updating me on his movements, though I didn't ask for this. I've temporarily moved in with my parents. My commute to work is longer, but I have help with baby and home-cooked dinners, starting to settle into new routines, doing so much therapy and yoga. I inherited a small cabin before my husband and I met. It is currently being renovated and the original plan was to move in there with my husband and baby when it's done. The cabin is actually in my mother's name because she's never trusted my husband, correct, and wanted me to shield it from him in case of a divorce.

Thank you, Mom. So I will have a permanent home for me and baby very soon. The dust still needs to settle and it could get worse before it gets better but I'm optimistic at this point. I'm confident I'm going to come out the other side of this as a badass single mom with an incredible child, a thriving business and an adorable little home. Honestly, the thought of having all those things on my own without my husband is so freeing. I've got a great village supporting me. Thank you all so much for being part of it. Comments, Yaya Yachno, he's already not putting up a fight and that itself is a huge relief. If she still lets the lady know, it could make him snap and hurt her and the baby. Op has to think about her kid's safety and try to not be a target.

Op, this is exactly where my head is at. I don't know this woman, so I can't trust her not to tell her friends and I don't want it to get back to him. Still likes turtles, Op's lawyer or social worker should handle that. Op should share it with both, either can take appropriate action to inform the other woman. No need for Op's life to be Messier or give the soon-to-be X anything to work with. Op, lawyer agreed with me that it's best not to talk to the other woman for now. The police know. Too-to-anananorama, it would make a wonderful book someday.

Maybe you can turn this horrible event into a stream of income for you and your baby somehow, to help with your new life. It takes a week just to make the appointment sometimes, lawyers, therapists, but protection orders can come quickly. Please tell us this is real. But you didn't lie to us. Up, it is all unfortunately real. For anyone else in a similar situation that might be reading this in my area, there is a legal

center that holds space for emergency appointments every day at 2 p.m. Protection orders are processed the same day they are filed, that's my understanding. I didn't actually file one yet, as far as a therapist. I have one I see regularly, so I already had an appointment on the books. After speaking with me, my therapist opened up an additional weekend appointment because I obviously needed the extra support. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Discovered that my wife cheated on me with my best friend, so I ruined her life.

Here is my story. My wife and I both met each other 15 years ago at summer camp. I had been attending the camp since I was a child and when I was of age I applied to be a counselor. My girlfriend had actually just moved to the area and applied for a summer job there. She was a new girl to everybody else who had been going there for years. She was beautiful and right away I had a crush on her. We had our little summer fling and we didn't think anything else would come of it.

However, we kept in touch and we eventually ended up going to college in the same city. From there our relationship turned romantic. When we graduated we got married shortly after and everything had been perfect between us. I truly loved her with all my heart and I thought she felt the same way. We had two children together and I had a great job so she was able to stay home and take care of them full time. It was like the perfect American dream. I didn't have to travel often for my work, but every year there was a big company retreat in the mountains. It was for team-building activities in theory, but it was just an excuse for everybody to get together and drink for an entire weekend.

I looked forward to it all year long. I worked in the same office as my best friend, let's call him Mark. We met each other during our senior year of college and we hit it off right away. I had never gotten along with another person quite the way I got along with Mark. We got each other's sense of humor and we could talk about the strangest things for hours. He was hired at the firm we worked at first then he saw a potential opening for me and he vouched for me. I thought I had him to thank for how great my life was in some respects. One of the reasons I was looking forward to going on the company trip was to spend some more quality time with Mark.

The week of the trip came along and everybody in the office was excited, including Mark. However, the Friday before we were set to leave, Mark didn't show up to work. I texted him and asked him what was wrong and he told me that he must have had a very bad stomach bug. I asked him if he was going to be better by the time we left for the trip, and he said he wouldn't. I was bummed that Mark wasn't going to be able to go, but I didn't think it would stopped me from having a good time while I was there. There are plenty of other people in the office that I got on with. Saturday morning came and I said goodbye to my wife and left for the trip. I had a wonderful time while I was there and I never suspected that anything would have happened

while I was gone. After all, my wife was home with our kids. I texted Mark a couple of times during the weekend just to make sure he was all right. He told me that he was still in bed trying to recover, but he appreciated me checking in. I sent him a few funny pictures and videos of things that were happening while we were there. I got home from the trip Sunday night and was relaxing with my kids and telling them an abridged version of what happened over the weekend. My wife was always somewhat of a busy body. Relaxing was difficult for her in general, and she would often be going around the house and picking up toys and blankets and things like that to keep it tidy. The house was spotless when I came in, but she was still walking around and

pointing pointless things. In hindsight, I think she just didn't want to talk to me because she felt guilty. It was getting late, so I scooped up my kids and brought them to their rooms to tuck them in and say good night since I missed them the past couple of days. While I was kissing my son on the forehead, he asked me if Uncle Mark was going to be coming over again. First, I thought he was asking because he hadn't seen him in a while and missed him. I told him that I didn't know when Mark would be coming over again. Then he told me that the day before Mark promised him he would be seeing him soon. I clarified with him and asked him if he had seen Mark the day before, and he confirmed it. I had no idea why Mark was at my house.

When I was texting him, he told me that he was at home and recovering from the stomach bug. If he was at my house, that would mean that he lied to me. My suspicions were immediately raised because he wouldn't have lied to me about going to my house unless he was doing something he shouldn't have done. We were good friends and I trusted both him and my wife. If he needed to stop by my house for something, would have understood. When I got to my bedroom I mentioned to my wife what our son had said. She shrugged it off saying that he must have been mistaken and he might have been talking about a couple of weeks ago when Mark was over. My son was four years old at the time, so I doubted he would mention it if it was so long ago. I believed my son more than I believed

my wife at the moment. However, I didn't have anything to prove my suspicions, so I dropped it. I went back to the office the following Tuesday morning and Mark was there, looking just as good as you ever did. I was still suspicious, so I checked in with him to see how his weekend went. He confirmed to me once again that he was home resting all weekend long. My gut was telling me that there was something seriously wrong and I needed to get to the bottom of it. A few nights later, my wife left her phone in the living room while she went to do the dishes, so I snuck off to the bathroom with it. I hated going through her things, but I felt like I was being lied to and I needed to know

what the truth was. I looked through the text message conversation between her and Mark to see if there was anything suspicious. There were a lot of deleted messages between them. My mind wandered to everything that could have been in those messages. I did not doubt at that point that it was evidence of an affair. I was able to type in a passcode to look at her hidden album and I found a lot of pictures of her naked.

I found a few other pictures of a man whose face wasn't in the image, but I recognized a couple of tattoos as ones that Mark had. I was right to be suspicious after what our son had said. She did have Mark over and they must have slept together while I was away for the weekend. I could only imagine that Mark faked being sick because he knew that there would be a window where he could be with my wife without having to worry about me. What angered me the most about all of this was the fact that they did it while my children were home. My son remembered seeing Mark there over the weekend. I didn't know the exact details about it,

but was furious. I put my wife's phone back before she noticed anything and I went to bed early. I needed to think about what I wanted to do moving forward. I was going to divorce my wife and I wanted nothing to do with Mark in the future. Whether that meant somehow getting him fired or finding a new job myself, I didn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to get back at both of them. I knew that Mark liked to flirt at the office, so I thought I might be able to do something with that. In particular, there was an assistant that he would often flirt with. The following day in the break room around lunch, he was flirting with her once again, touching her on the shoulder and laughing with her. It wasn't anything harmful, but under the right circumstances, it could be seen in a different light.

I subtly took a couple of pictures of them while they were close together for later. When Mark left to go to a meeting, I talked to the assistant and I asked her if she felt uncomfortable around Mark sometimes. She looked at me kind of confused, it was obvious from some of their conversations that she was into him as well. She told me that she wasn't uncomfortable. I planted a seed in her head that how much she flirted with her and touched her could be considered sexual harassment.

She nodded her head like she was thinking about it for the first time. That same day, I went to our Hour Department and filed a formal complaint that I thought Mark's behavior was inappropriate. It was anonymous, so he would never know that it was me. The following day everything was going normally and he was pulled into the Our department for a meeting. Whenever things like that happen, people will either assume you're getting reprimanded for something or you're getting a raise. The very next day we had a sexual harassment seminar in the workplace. Mark was publicly brought into the hour office just the the day before, so everybody started putting the pieces together and thinking that Mark was

responsible for the seminar. With all the conversations and rumors, the assistant he was hitting on started telling people that he made her uncomfortable and the narrative of Mark sexually harassing people at work took full form. Word got back to him and eventually, he came to me and asked me about it. He trusted that I would be honest with him about what people were saying. I told him that I didn't know what to believe. After all, he was sleeping with my wife so he clearly couldn't be trusted. He was shocked that I said that, probably surprised to learn that I even knew about it. The talk didn't stop in the office and Mark eventually put in his two weeks notice because he felt so uncomfortable. Meanwhile, I found an amazing divorce attorney and I served my wife with papers

a few days before Mark quit his job. She was completely shocked by the news when she got it. She had no idea I knew about her and Mark being together. She tried to make me out as a villain for leaving her and the kids. I told her I had no intention of leaving the kids, just her. We got our divorce and because she cheated she wasn't awarded any spousal support. She was forced to go live with her mother and look for another job. I got full custody of the kids. The judge did not like that she was having an affair with the kids in the house so blatantly.

She still has visitation rights to them though. It hurts the most when I think about how it wasn't just one person that I lost in all of this. I thought of Mark like a brother and he and my wife both stabbed me in the back. I have a lot of stuff to work on for myself before I even consider dating in the future.