Reddit Stories - I PROVIDED my DAUGHTER with $120,000 for a PROPERTY, only to discover that

Episode Date: June 28, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #money #property #betrayalSummary: I PROVIDED my DAUGHTER with $120,000 for a PROPERTY, only to discover that she sold it without my knowledge and kept the profits. Feeling betrayed and hurt, I am unsure how to address this breach of trust within our family.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familyissues, moneyproblems, propertydispute, trustissues, familybetrayal, financialconflict, parentingdilemma, generationalwealth, familydrama, inheritance, financialtransparency, familyvalues, communicationbreakdown, emotionalpain, financiallossBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I provided my daughter with $120,000 for a property, only to discover that she was aware of my spouse's infidelity and intentions to depart from our relationship but chose not to intervene. Nonetheless, they have now both returned. Back broke and begging for help. All right, I need to get this out somewhere. I'm a 53-year-old guy, let's call me Tom. Or I was 50 when the world decided to flip itself upside down. For 25 years, I was married to Susan.

We have one daughter, Olivia, who was 24 when this all imploded. We weren't rolling in cash, but we had a comfortable life. I worked a steady job in logistics management. Susan worked part-time as a school administrator. We owned our home, a modest three-bedroom in a decent neighborhood. Olivia was always the center of our world, or at least mine. I thought we were close. She'd call me for advice, we'd joke around.

She was a good kid, got a decent degree, and was working an entry-level job. About a year before everything went south, she started talking about wanting to buy her own place, a small condo or a starter home. Prices were going crazy, and she was struggling to save a deposit. it. Looking back, the signs with Susan probably started a couple of years before she left. She became more, restless. She started making comments about our friends who had bigger houses or went on cruises. She got a new group of friends from a yoga class she joined, women who seemed to have a lot more disposable income than we did. She started going out with them more, dinners, weekend trips I

wasn't invited to. When I asked, she said I wouldn't enjoy it, that it was girl stuff. Her criticisms of me became more frequent. It wasn't about big things, but little digs. My clothes weren't fashionable enough. I didn't have ambitious career goals. I was too content with our quiet life. Our intimate life dwindled to almost nothing. She often seemed distant, preoccupied. She spent a lot more time on her phone, always angled away from me. If I walked into the room, she'd quickly switch screens or put it down. I confronted her a few times, asked if there was someone else. She'd deny it, get angry, accuse me of being paranoid and jealous. She said she was just trying to find herself and wished I'd support her growth. Around this time, Olivia also started

acting a bit differently. She and Susan became incredibly close, always whispering, sharing looks I couldn't decipher. Olivia stopped confiding in me as much. If I asked her if anything was wrong with her mom, or between us, she'd just say mom was stressed from work or that I was imagining things. She became Susan's staunch defender. The talk about Olivia's house deposit continued. She was getting despondent about ever affording a place. Susan kept bringing it up too, hinting that we should help more. I had a separate savings account, money I'd diligently put aside for years. It was a mix of inheritance from my parents and my own bonuses. It was my nest egg, the just-in-case fund, maybe for retirement, maybe if one of us got sick.

It was a substantial amount, pretty much all my liquid savings outside of my regular pension contributions. After months of Olivia sounding stressed and Susan subtly pressuring me, I made a decision. I told Olivia I'd give her the money for a down payment. It was a huge chunk, nearly $120,000. Enough for a solid 20% on a small house she'd found. She cried, hugged me, said I was the best dad ever. Susan seemed pleased too, said it was the right thing to do.

Olivia closed on her house about three months before Susan dropped the bomb. She moved in, and I helped her paint and assemble furniture. It felt good, like I'd done something significant for her future. It was a Tuesday evening. I came home from work. Susan was sitting at the kitchen table, not in her usual spot on the sofa watching TV. She had a packed suitcase standing by the door. She told me, very calmly, that she was leaving me.

That she hadn't been happy for years. That she wanted more from life. I asked why, what had happened. She said it wasn't one thing, it was everything. That we'd grown apart. Then she told me there was someone else. A man named Arthur. She said he was successful, kind,

and that he could give her the life she deserved. I asked how long it had been going on. Six months, she said. Maybe longer, I don't know if she was being honest even then. She told me Arthur was wealthy. She was moving in with him, into his large house in a very affluent part of the city. I was reeling. Twenty-five years, just like that.

Then I asked about Olivia. How were we going to tell her? Susan looked away. She said, Olivia knows. She's known for a while. That hit me harder than the affair. Olivia knew. My daughter.

She knew her mother was cheating on me. She knew Susan was planning to leave. I couldn't process it. Susan explained that Olivia had found out accidentally a few months prior, by seeing some messages on Susan's phone. Susan said Olivia had been upset at first, but then she understood and wanted her mother to be happy. A few months. I asked.

I did the math in my head. That meant Olivia knew about the affair, knew her mother was leaving me, when she accepted my $120,000. When she was crying and hugging me, telling me I was the best dad. She knew. She took my life savings, knowing her mother was about to destroy. my life and her parents' marriage. I felt cold. I asked Susan to confirm this. Did Olivia know when I gave her the money for the house? Susan nodded, a little impatiently, like it was an inconvenient detail. She said Olivia didn't want to upset me before I handed over the cash, that the timing was just

unfortunate. I just felt. Hollow. I asked Susan to leave. She picked up her suitcase and walked out. Arthur was apparently waiting in a car down the street. She didn't even look back. I called Olivia immediately. Her phone went straight to voicemail. I called again and again. Nothing. I drove over to her new house. Her car was there. I rang the bell, banged on the door. No answer. I could hear movement inside, I was sure of it. She was. She was. She was. was in there, hiding from me. The next few days are a blur. I barely slept or ate. The house felt enormous and silent. Friends called, my brother called. I told them Susan had left. I didn't tell them about Olivia's involvement at first, or the money. The betrayal from my own daughter felt like a deeper

wound than Susan's. Susan, I could almost understand on some level, people fall out of love, affairs happen. But Olivia was my child. Susan filed for divorce quickly. She didn't want anything from the marital home, just her personal belongings. Arthur was providing for her. It made the legal side simple, at least. The house was in my name primarily anyway, as I'd owned it before we were married.

though years of joint finances would have complicated it if she'd pushed. But she just wanted out, and clean. I eventually got a text from Olivia. A short, stilted message saying she was sorry I was hurting, that it was all very difficult, and she hoped we could talk when things calmed down. No mention of the money. No real apology for her deception.

I consulted a lawyer, a friend of a friend. I asked if there was any way to get the money back, from Olivia, given the circumstances. He was blunt. It was a gift. There was no contract, no loan agreement. Proving fraudulent intent on her part related to the gift would be incredibly difficult and expensive, and likely unsuccessful.

He said I could try, but it would drag out for years and probably yield nothing but more heartache and legal fees. My life savings were gone, and my daughter had helped make it happen while knowing my marriage was a sham about to explode. I stopped trying to contact Olivia after that text. What was there to say? I saw a therapist for a few months. It helped a bit, mostly to just vent to a neutral party. My brother was a rock, checked in on me constantly, even though he lived a few states away. About three years passed. The divorce was finalized within eight months of Susan leaving. I sold the family home. Too many memories, too big for one person. I bought a smaller townhouse

in a different part of town, closer to my work. I heard snippets about Susan and Arthur through the grapevine. They traveled, through lavish parties. Susan had the life she apparently craved. I never heard from Olivia directly. I assumed she was living her life in the house I paid for, probably enjoying her mother's new wealthy connections. I made a conscious decision to try and build a new life for myself. I focused on my career, got a promotion. I wasn't happy, not in the way I was before, but I was. Functioning.

Stable again, in a new, more solitary way. I made it a point to be self-sufficient. I rebuilt a portion of my savings, nowhere near what it was, but enough not to feel completely exposed. Then, about two weeks ago, the past came knocking. Literally. I was at home on a Saturday morning when my doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone.

I looked through the peephole, and my heart nearly stopped. It was Susan and Olivia. Standing side by side on my doorstep. They both looked. Different. I almost didn't open the door. A part of me wanted to just walk away, pretend I wasn't home. But another part, a colder, angrier part, was curious.

Why now? After three years of silence. So, I opened it. Susan started talking immediately, a nervous rush of words. Arthur had apparently run into some serious financial trouble. His businesses were failing, he had he had here. huge debts. The big house was gone, the fancy cars repossessed. He'd become bitter and difficult. According to Susan, he'd ended things with her abruptly, basically kicked her out with nothing but

her clothes. Olivia then chimed in. She said Susan had nowhere to go and had been staying with her for the past month in her small two-bedroom house. But Olivia was struggling too. She'd lost her job a few months back and was only doing freelance work sporadically. The mortgage on her house was becoming a burden. She was scared she was going to lose it. Then came the reason for their visit. They needed my help. Susan needed a place to stay just for a little while, until she could get back on her feet. And they both needed money. Olivia asked if I could help with her mortgage payments, just for a few months. Susan even suggested that maybe, since my townhouse had a spare bedroom, she could stay with me.

She said we had so much history and surely I wouldn't see her out on the street. Olivia backed her up, saying it was the decent thing to do. I listened to all of this without saying a word. Just stood there in the doorway, looking at them. The audacity was breathtaking. After what they did, they were here, asking for my help. my money, my home. I haven't given them an answer yet. I told them I needed to think. They looked deflated but said they'd call me in a couple of days. They're expecting me to bail them out.

So, Reddit, what do you think? This isn't an IDA, because I haven't done anything yet. But I'm about to. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do, but I guess I'm just laying it all out here to get it straight in my own head before I lower the boom. This whole thing has dredged up so much. Update 1. First off, thanks to everyone who read my novel of a post and commented. I didn't expect so many responses. A lot of you shared some harsh truths, and honestly, it's what I needed to hear, even though I was already leaning that way. It just solidified my resolve. No DMs, please, I'm not looking for private chats, just wanted to vent on the Reddit. Many people asked for clarifications, so I'll try to address the main ones.

One, the money for Olivia's house. To be clear, the $120,000 was a gift. There was no loan agreement, no paperwork saying it was conditional. It was my entire life savings outside of my pension. I earned it over decades, a significant portion was an inheritance from my own. parents who worked hard their whole lives. Giving it to Olivia meant I basically reset my own financial safety net to zero at the age of 50. Yes, it was a stupidly trusting move in hindsight. 2. Olivia's knowledge of the affair. Susan confirmed Olivia knew for about eight months

before Susan left me. Olivia found messages between Susan and Arthur. Susan said Olivia was initially upset, but then came around to the idea because Susan convinced her she was miserable with me and Arthur would make her happy. So, for four months, Olivia knew her mother was actively engaged in an affair and planning to leave, and during at least one of those months, she accepted my life savings with full knowledge. She sat in the lawyer's office with me for the house closing, smiling and thanking me, knowing all of this. That's the part that twists the knife. Three didn't I pursue legal action for the money? As I mentioned, my lawyer advised against it. He said proving fraudulent misrepresentation or undue influence to the standard required

to claw back a gift would be an uphill, expensive, and likely unwinnable battle. He said it would look like sour grapes from a wronged husband slash father in courts are hesitant to undo gifts unless there's concrete proof of explicit deception directly tied to the giving of the gift for that specific purpose. My proof was largely certain. My proof was largely certain. circumstantial, timing, Susan's admission of when Olivia knew. It would have been my word against Olivia's and Susan's, and they'd likely just say Olivia knew but didn't tell me to spare my feelings, not to defraud me. He quoted me figures for legal fees that would have eaten up a good chunk of what I was trying to recover, with no guarantee of success. I decided not to throw more money into

that black hole. Four, what kind of help did they ask for? Susan explicitly asked to me, move into my spare bedroom. She said it would be temporary, just until she got on her feet. She also asked for money for living expenses. Olivia asked for help with her mortgage payments for at least six months and also for money for utilities and groceries. They presented it as a united front, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for me to step in. Five, my financial situation now, I'm okay. I'm not rich. After selling, I'm selling a lot of the family home, I cleared the old mortgage and had enough for the down payment on my townhouse and to put a bit aside. I've been aggressively saving for the past three years. I have an emergency

fund again, and I'm contributing more to my retirement. I'm not in a position to comfortably support two non-working adults, nor would I be if I were a millionaire. Reading the comments here, and having a few more days to let their requests sink in, really cemented what I already felt. The words are intensity, entitlement, and consequences came up a lot, and they resonated. For three years, they lived their lives, apparently without a single thought for me, the man they both betrayed and, in Olivia's case, effectively stole from. My daughter, who I raised, who I provided for, who I gave my last significant financial asset to, chose to align herself with her mother's deception for her own gain, keeping quiet to secure the house funds, and then for her mother's

perceived happiness. There was no remorse in their approach to me. No apology for the past. It was all about their current needs, their current problems. It was as if the last three years, and the reasons for them, were irrelevant. They saw me as a resource, a safety net they thought they could just reactivate. My decision became very clear. There would be no help. No money, no shelter. Nothing. But simply saying no didn't feel like enough. They needed to understand the full scope of their actions and why no was the only possible answer. So when Susan and Olivia called me on Wednesday evening, as they said they would,

Olivia made the call with Susan presumably beside her. Olivia asked if I'd had time to consider their situation. I told her yes, I had. I said I would meet them, but not at my mind. home. I arrived a few minutes early yesterday afternoon. I chose a table in a quiet corner. I didn't order anything. They arrived together, looking expectant. Susan even tried a small, hopeful smile. Olivia looked nervous. They sat down. Before they could launch into their pleas again, I started. I kept my voice calm and level. I told them I had listened to their request a few days.

prior, and I had given a careful thought. I then laid it out. I reminded Susan that she had chosen to end our 25-year marriage for another man, believing he offered a better life. I stated that this was her choice, and choices have consequences. Her consequence was that when that new life imploded, she was on her own. Our marriage, our partnership, our mutual obligations of support ended when she walked out that door with her suitcase to join Arthur. I told her that her current predicament was a direct result of her own decisions and Arthur's financial failings, not mine. Then I turned to Olivia. I told her that her betrayal was, in many ways, more hurtful. I recounted how I had given her $120,000, my entire life savings, for her house. I stated, factually, that she had

accepted this money knowing full well that her mother was having an affair and was planning to leave me. I told her that she had maintained her silence, allowed me to give her that money, and participated in the charade of a happy family helping her achieve her dream, all while knowing the devastation that was about to befall me. I described how she hid in her new house when I came looking for answers. I reminded her of her single, insufficient text message. I told Olivia that her actions weren't just a passive omission, they were an active deception. That by taking the money under those circumstances, she had demonstrated a profound lack of character and loyalty. I told her that the house she was so worried about losing was, in essence,

funded by that deception. I explained to both of them that for three years, they had shown no concern for my well-being, my financial situation after being depleted of my savings, or my emotional state. They had not reached out with apologies or attempts at genuine reconciliation. Their reappearance was solely due to their own needs, their own desperation. I then delivered the core of my response. I told them that I would not be giving them any money. Not for Susan's living expenses, not for Olivia's mortgage. I told Susan she would not be staying in my home. I stated that my home was my sanctuary, rebuilt after they had both contributed to shattering my previous one.

I said, the bank of Tom is closed. It was looted by its most trusted tellers, and it will not be reopening for you. You are both adults. Susan, you made your bed with Arthur, it's unfortunate it collapsed, but it's not my responsibility to build you a new one. Olivia, you received your inheritance from me early, under false pretext. that $120,000 was it. You need to manage your finances and your property yourself. If you can't afford the house, then you will have to make adult decisions, like selling it. I also told them this

would be our last conversation on the matter. I would not be discussing it further. I would not be taking calls about it. I advised them to seek assistance from social services, other family members if they had any, or to find employment, whatever it took. But they were not to look to me again. Susan started to cry, quietly at first, then more openly. She said I was being cruel, heartless. That she was desperate. She mentioned all the years she put into the marriage. I reminded her that she was the one who unilaterally decided those years meant less than a richer prospect. Olivia just stared at me, her face pale. She didn't say much, just mumbled something about me not understanding.

I told her I understood perfectly. I understood that she had made a decision to prioritize money and her mother's affair over her father. Susan then started to get angry, her voice rising. She accused me of wanting to see her suffer, of being vindictive. A couple of people at nearby tables glanced over. I kept my voice low. I told her I felt nothing about her. suffering other than a distant observation that it was self-inflicted. I wasn't seeking

revenge, I was simply stating my position and my boundaries. Vindication would be getting my money back, which wasn't happening. This was just consequences. They sat there for a few more minutes. Susan pleaded a bit more, Olivia looked defeated. I didn't engage further. I simply said, I believe I've made my position clear. There's nothing more. more to discuss. I then stood up, turned, and walked out. I didn't look back. Driving home, I didn't feel elation or joy. I felt a grim sense of closure. Like a painful chapter had finally, truly ended. It was a hard thing to do, to look at your ex-wife and your only child and deliver that kind of message. But it was necessary. They had mistaken my previous kindness and

generosity for weakness. They needed to understand that the man they knew, the one they took for granted and betrayed, was no longer available to them. I don't know what they'll do. And frankly, it's no longer my concern. They created this situation. They can figure out how to navigate it. Update 2. It's been about nine months since my last update, the one where I described meeting Susan and Olivia and delivering my final decision. I figured enough time. I figured enough time. has passed and enough, or little enough, depending on how you look at it, has happened that I could write a final chapter to this saga, for those who were following along. After that meeting in the coffee shop, I stuck to my guns. I blocked both their numbers. I didn't respond to a couple

of emails Olivia sent in the week following our meeting. They were mostly rephrasing their pleas, with a bit more self-pity thrown in. For the first month or two, I was half expecting them to show up on my doorstep again, or try to ambush me at work. It didn't happen. I guess my message was clear enough. I've heard a few things indirectly, through a mutual acquaintance I still occasionally see, someone who knew Susan and me from years ago, and who Olivia apparently reached out to for help as well, unsuccessfully. From what I gather, Susan's situation became quite difficult. She apparently tried staying with a couple of her wealthier friends, the ones she cultivated when she was with Arthur, but those arrangements were short-lived. It seems friendship based on proximity

to wealth doesn't last when the wealth is gone. Last I heard, she was renting a room in a shared house in a much less desirable part of the city and working a retail job. A far cry from the life with Arthur, and even a step down from the life she had with me. The acquaintance mentioned Susan seemed bitter and constantly complained about her misfortunes, rarely taking any responsibility for the choices that led her there. There was no mention of her trying to find more stable employment or upskill. As for Olivia, things also went the way one might expect. She wasn't able to keep up the mortgage payments on the house I funded. The acquaintance told me Olivia tried to get roommates, but it was problematic. She apparently had a hard time finding steady work that

paid enough. The house, being a newer build, also came with property taxes and maintenance costs she hadn't fully factored in when Giddy with a 100% funded down payment. About four months ago, so roughly five months after our coffee shop meeting, I saw that Olivia's house was listed for sale. It sold fairly quickly, but according to the acquaintance who seems to have a pipeline to this information, small world, I guess, or Olivia is still trying to tap old networks. After paying off the mortgage and selling costs, Olivia didn't clear a massive profit. House prices had stagnated a bit in her area, and she'd taken out a large mortgage on top of my gift. She apparently didn't walk away with a fortune, but enough to land somewhere, presumably.

I don't know where she ended up living. Perhaps with a friend, or renting a small apartment. She is, as far as I know, still estranged from any of my side of the family. Neither of them has made any further direct attempts to contact me. My life has continued on its new track. Work is fine, I'm financially stable, my health is good. So, that's pretty much it. They made their choices, they received their response, and life moved on.

I did what I thought was right and necessary for my own sanity and self-respect. I don't wish them ill, specifically, but I also don't spend any time worrying about their well-being. being. They are adults who are responsible for their own lives, just as I am for mine. Thanks again to the Redditors who read and commented on my original posts. Venting it all out and getting some external perspectives was helpful at the time. I don't foresee any further updates on this particular front. It's done. Time to focus on what's ahead.