Reddit Stories - I was in a RELATIONSHIP with a solo MOTHER for a COUPLE of

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #parenting #drama #adviceSummary: I was in a relationship with a solo mother for a couple of years. It was a challenging yet rewarding experience, navigating the complexities of blending families and balancing responsibilities. Ultimately, it taught me valuable lessons about love, patience, and understanding.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationship, solo mother, couple, years, family, parenting, drama, advice, love, patience, understanding, challenges, rewards, blending families, responsibilitiesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I was in a relationship with a solo mother for a couple of years, but her challenging child consumed all my spare time and destroyed our closeness. When I requested one weekend each month for personal time, she said all or nothing, so we broke up. I started this relationship two years ago when I was 28. Due to the one-hour drive we only see each other on the weekends. She has her son M. F., and the weekend's dad get.

gets her son, seven years old. I really only see him on Sunday nights when he gets dropped. I was always nice to her son. I would play Minecraft and take him out, even went on vacation with her and him a couple of times. But I'm not going to lie I never loved the idea of dealing with him. Despite my attempts at treating him like my own he has proven time and time again that he's just a difficult kid to deal with. I want to keep this post short so I'll spare the details. But the problem is that recently he's been with us every weekend and I'm starting to get a clearer view into my future with her and her son. I have zero time to myself, there's no Sags, haven't had it in over a month, and I find myself hiding in the bathroom just to get a moment's peace. I no longer look forward to my weekends I actually look forward to Monday because at least after work I have a few hours to myself for some peace.

I'm starting to realize what my future is looking like and it horrifies me. I tried having a conversation with my girl about it a few times, but it always seems to lead to an argument. It's like I have all the responsibilities of a parent, but none of the authority. I really love my girlfriend and we have such a good relationship outside of her son, but now I think it's time for me to end it. I just feel completely awful about the whole thing because I knew she was a single mother before I got into this relationship, but I kept ignoring red flags and kept telling myself it would get better, but it hasn't, it just kept getting worse. I feel like I wasted both of our time, but I'm just having trouble letting go. Every time I think about ending it, I get scared that I'll miss her too much. But deep down I know that I have too.

Any advice or anyone else go through this before? Edit, thanks everyone, I appreciate all the comments. I just wanted to clarify that the red flags were not her being a mother. Although her parenting style isn't one I endorse completely so I guess that could be a red flag. But I'm just saying I ignored the red flags that involved other aspects of single motherhood that are not exactly her fault. For example, her son's father is a dead beat and doesn't support their son financially at all so I know that Burton would fall on my shoulders completely if we were to stay together.

Something I really didn't consider going into it. Should have been obvious I know, but we all make mistakes. I have nothing but love for her and will make an update post once I have the conversation with her. Very soon. Comments where Op has replied, comment one, listen, if you feel like that, get out. Save yourself. Move on. It will sting.

but ultimately you will be happier. As a step-parent myself to a very difficult child, it never gets easier. There is literally no happiness in our home anymore, and I have three of my own kids who are miserable as well. I wish I had not ignored some red flags. You cannot love someone through these kinds of situations. Oop, thanks, I've already started speaking to a therapist and am working on getting out for good real soon.

Her and I actually just started a break because of all the stress I've been feeling from the relationship. I don't see much value in a sexless relationship with a mom that I have to help raise her kid who I have to lose all my free time too. I just hate feeling like the bad guy, but I guess I just have to accept that and move on. Comment 2. I'm writing this as a single parent. You aren't doing anything wrong by leaving the relationship. Here's the thing, my child always comes first. That's my job as a parent. If the person I was dating felt the way you do, which are valid feelings, it may sting when they ended things, but I would respect it because I want my child to see a healthy relationship.

I would never expect a step-parent to 100% treat my child as their own, although that would be amazing. You're right, it's hard and it doesn't tend to get easier, it just changes. I also resort myself to another room from time to time just to get a few minutes. of silence, it's normal. All three of you deserve a functioning relationship without resentments. If this relationship isn't working for you, you're all better off without it. Dating a single parent can be very tough. Update one, long story short, I told her I was unhappy, I asked if I could have some time to myself maybe one weekend a month I can stay home, she said no. It's all or nothing with us. I offered her couple's therapy and even told her I'd pay for the entire thing. She

refused said she already has enough therapy. I told her then we need to end it. It was an awful conversation and there was tons of crying until she just hung up on me. A little backstory, she's been through terrible trauma in her life and I was worried she might not be okay because she's still dealing with some of it. Anyway, I was worried about her but she refused to talk to me. Wouldn't answer calls or texts. I figured it was just over now and I need to leave her alone. The next morning, I get a text from her asking me to come get my stuff I had left there. I told her just throw it all out.

The stuff wasn't worth me going over there because it would be too hard to see her now. She basically said, please just come get your stuff I don't want to look at it anymore either. And she said this will be the last time we will see each other so let's say goodbye. I agreed and drove over there. When I got there I was met with a pile of my stuff. I started taking trips bringing it down to my car. When I went to get the last of my stuff I saw her sitting on the kitchen floor just crying. I sat next to her for a while not saying anything.

She kind of made a move where she moved away from me a few inches. I looked at her and said I should probably go, huh? She nodded her head. I got up and as I was leaving her. I just said to her, I just wished you didn't think I was a horrible person. She started yelling from the floor about how she did nothing wrong and whatnot. I couldn't take the yelling, I said goodbye and left. As I was walking down the hallway I was haunted by the sounds of her crying so loud I could hear it very clear.

As I left her building and got into my car she called me. She was upset that I didn't want to talk. But I explained to her there wasn't anything left to talk about. She kept going on and on about how awful I was and not doing the right thing, etc., and she refused to take any blame. At this point I'm already on the highway about 15 minutes away from her apartment when she asked me to come back inside to talk. I told her no, I am already leaving, she started crying and begging me to turn around and talk. I said I am sorry, I am so sorry and I hung up the phone. First time I've ever done that to her.

But she's hung up on me over a dozen times. She started immediately blowing up my phone. I couldn't deal with it I was losing my mind, so I just turned the phone off. I left it off for a day and when I turned it on I saw a few short texts and missed calls. I immediately just went ahead and blocked her. I don't know if I did the right thing, I feel so damn terrible about this whole thing. I want to be there for her, hearing her cry killed me inside. But I know me being there for her will just rope me back into the relationship that I was no longer wanting to be in.

Even though I still love her, and in fact I'm still in love with her. But it's too much, I know I won't be happy. She wrote me two emails since she figured out she was blocked. I haven't read them yet. I can see they addressed in letter format, but I don't have the strength to read them at this time. This whole thing sucks. Hopefully this doesn't get automatically taken down. Anyway, thanks everyone and if you have advice on how to get through this that would be very helpful.

Thanks. Edit I never thought this would get so much attention, this has been the most difficult thing I've dealt with in my life so thank you all so much for the kind words, it has all helped out tremendously. Last night I ended up reading the letters she sent me, before I looked at this post again, and the first letter was super apology. actually made me tear up. It was very sweet and it made things really difficult. Then I read the second letter which was sent 12 hours after the first one and it was more blame, she was venting about all the things I did wrong, etc. In retrospect I should not have read either of the letters, but the first letter reminded me of the good times, and then the second one reminded me

why I broke up with her in the first place. So I am glad she wrote the second one because if it was just the first one than who knows what I be feeling right now. Anyway, I am going to continue to be strong and block her on any other method she tries contacting me with. She even started calling me from her work phone number. I didn't answer, but I googled it and confirmed that had to be her. I blocked that number as well. Update 2, just got out of a 2.5-year relationship, my X-A, 27F, and I'm a, 30M. I broke up with her because I wanted some more time to myself because I felt the dynamic between her and my life was not very fulfilling for myself, spending all my time with her doing what she wants, etc. Plus the lack of SEGs, we were only having SEGs maybe one time a

week at most but the last three to four months we were together that dropped to once every other week and then eventually once a month. She's a single mother so trying to become a step-parent has been very difficult and was the leading factor in our breakup. Anyway, we had a tough breakup, and immediately after I felt great, I was finally free. But now that it has been a week I'm struggling a lot. I've been crying every single day, including having a complete breakdown last night. I feel so much regret about my decision, I miss her so damn much. I've talked to my therapist, I've talked to my family, I've talked to my friends. None of that has been really helping. I miss talking with her on the phone, or seeing her smile.

During the breakup I was so focused on all the bad that I forgot about the good we had. Now that she's gone it's reversed. I've tried thinking about the bad and I understand we cannot be together again, but I am fighting the urge every minute to not pick up my phone and call her, or text her, or just drive over there and beg for forgiveness. I feel like I'm at completely rock bottom here. I think about dating again, in the future not now, and I just don't find any interest in any other person. It just makes me miss her even more thinking about being with someone else.

Because what if they don't do what she does? What if they don't have such a sweet laugh or is as fun to be around? So much confusion in my brain. I'll remain strong and not contact her, but I'm here to admit it is absolutely tearing me up inside. Thanks for reading about my troubles. Update 3, I wanted to make a post in hopes that it will help more people. You can check out my post history and see my problems with my ex, and eventually break up, and even after me feeling like I wanted her back. She was a single mom and it was really difficult to get over her in more ways that I wasn't prepared for.

So I wanted to use this as a little bit of an update on how I got over her, and what exactly happened post-breakup, she reached out. If you want backstory, read my post-history, if not long story short, I'm 30M and dated a 27F single mother to a seven-f single mother to a seven years old boy for 2.5 years. We were sort of long distance, our drive, and saw each other on the weekends for the most part. After the breakup I had felt free, free of all the nonsense associated with her. I finally had my own free time to myself. However, shortly after, maybe one week, I started to miss her. A lot. I thought about her all the time. Last time I saw her she was sitting on her kitchen floor bawling her eyes out. Every time I closed my eyes I saw that image, I heard her screams and cries, it broke me. I wanted to reach out to her so bad.

Eventually I did message her and ask if I could write her son a goodbye letter because I never had the chance to say goodbye to him. I actually was surprised how much I missed him. He and I had our issues, but I did have a connection with him and it was sad to think I'll never see how he grew up. Anyway, letter sent, she received and thanked me for that. Everything was pretty cordial. No contact continued. About six weeks later, I am still missing her. Still have moments where I break down in tears by myself. I remember going down into my home workout room and just started doing deadlifts until I couldn't physically pick up the bar anymore and I just collapsed to my knees crying hysterically.

This was at one in the morning on a work night, I was a mess. I wrote her a letter after, basically saying everything I wanted to say. I wanted her back, I was going to fix everything, etc., etc. I never sent the letter. I was serious about the no-contact, I was going to be strong, I was never going to break it. Writing the letters then deleting them was just therapy for me in a way. After I wrote that letter, about three days later guess what? She fucking called me.

I didn't notice it was her at first because I deleted and blocked her number. ID give her number didn't get blocked correctly or if it was a different number I never asked. But I answered and it was her. She started on about how, oh hey. How are you? I know we haven't talked in a while, but I just left the Toyota dealer and they failed my car because of the tinge you had put on it. Can I like borrow you for a moment and you can help me out? My heart started racing.

I wanted to see her so badly I wanted nothing more than to be with her again but I knew I had to talk first I told her I would help her but I wanted to talk first so we talked so many things I wanted to say to her I began to say I told her how I was struggling I told her how I missed her and I was just completely honest about everything that was going on in my mind I told her about therapy I told her about the journaling. But when I asked her how she was doing, that's when the truth began to pour out. She told me she was doing well. She told me she was regressing, her words, said she was going out, partying, drinking, hanging with friends. Even made it a point to let me know that the next night she was going out with friends in the city and that she was going to

pick up a new dress for it. She sounded like a bimbo on the phone. Calling me names like love and sweetie just cringe-level shit. I asked her if she missed me, she said she did, but she was doing well. Told me therapy has been focusing on her own trauma and she doesn't really think about me, or dream about me, or I guess really care about me at all. I asked about her son because at this point I was more interested with him. She told me he saved the letter and still asks about me. She said he misses me a lot. I can tell he missed me more than she did. I ended up. I ended the call with A I would love to help you but I can't, here's directions to a shop I know that will pass your car with a tint, tell them you know me and they'll take care of you. And she thanked

me and we hung up the phone. Once we hung up I just stared at my wall for a good five minutes. My mind totally fucked up at what just happened. I was so sad at first and angry. How could she move on so easily? How could she not be in any pain? While I am sitting here totally devastating, at the breakup, she is doing well. My anger and sadness soon turned into appreciation and relief. Oh my God, she's not my problem anymore. She is doing these things that would haunt me at night, but she's not my woman anymore. The girl I was in love with, the girl who every time I closed my eyes to think about. She does not exist. I know that sounds crazy, but she does not exist. The girl I keep thinking about is no longer around she has been replaced with this

other person who looks like her and sounds like her, but she isn't her. That helped me out tremendously. Suddenly I realized that I had been trapped in a mental prison. This whole time I thought she put me there, but she didn't. I did. I put myself there. I know this is a bit off topic, but I watched The Matrix Original for the first time in my life, I know, and I started to see similarities to how what we think our realities are. I know this is a bit of a tangent, but it helped me to believe that I needed to see the truth. The truth is there is no girl, there is no spoon. I know that last bit is a little weird, but it helped me okay, LOL.

Point is, she isn't the person I built in my head. Just like Jocko said in his breakup video, you build this person up who doesn't even exist. I also listened to Bill Burr and he has a podcast where he talked about how breakups were and he actually said that around the six-week mark they always reach out, he was right. Anyway, one final update. This all happened about three weeks ago and I have never felt better since. I am so at peace with everything. Sure I do still miss her from time to time. I definitely miss her son too.

But I am happy again, finally. I freed myself from the prison that I was in. I always was hoping she could free me, but she couldn't I had to free myself. Two nights ago I got a random text from her cousin, 21F. She told me she heard about the breakup and she wasn't sure if she should say anything but she said her and I had a good relationship, the cousin and I, we used to always joke around with each other when she visited. She told me she will really miss me and she even said that she doesn't believe my ex will

ever replace me. Her whole family loved me and it shows. Anyway, I know this post is long but I am doing great right now. I am actually going to start dating again soon and have been doing so well. Here's some things that have really helped me get over her besides the obvious phone call, journaling, write all feelings down, every time you want to reach out to your ex, write it down and wait a day. You must wait 24 hours. You'll feel different I promise and you won't send that letter, exercise, I worked out every single day. I always worked out though even during the relationship so this helped but wasn't enough on its own. Could be different if I just started though, projects and goals, I have this car I have been fixing up, it helped me a lot

working on the car because I would listen to podcast slash music while turning wrenches. It helped me a lot, pretend you're better. Just like how faking confidence can lead to real confidence, faking being better after a breakup can lead to feeling better after a breakup. This was helpful in the later stages when I was still holding on a little bit. In the beginning I recommend being honest with yourself, it's okay to miss them, cry it out, thanks Bill Burr, seriously, have yourself a good cry, cry everything out, you'll feel better. It's okay do this in private. No one can judge you. It's better for your health. And that's pretty much it. I hope this help some of you. I do still miss my ex from time to time.

But overall I am in a very good place. I know what it's like to be in the dark, to feel hopeless, I've been there before. It will get better, but you have to put the work into it. Good luck, everyone. Update 4. This is our first Mother's Day apart after the breakup about two months ago. I wanted to write her an email wishing her a happy Mother's Day. I was just going to say, hey, I wasn't sure if I should reach out, but I was just going to say, hey, I wasn't sure if I should reach out, but I was just wanted to wish you happy Mother's Day. I hope X-XXXXXX is doing well, I miss him. I wanted to

write it so bad. I wrote the email in my head about ten times, but I never wrote it. I told myself I would not do it and I contained myself. It was hard fighting the urge, but now it's the next day and I am so happy I contain myself. Do not break NC for any reason. If you have the urge to do so, write the email but don't hit send. Wait three days and see how you feel. I bet you'll delete that email and be thankful you did. I am for the most part over my ex, but seeing the reminder of Mother's Day just brought back so many memories.

Luckily your feelings are temporary. Stay strong everyone.