Reddit Stories - I was present at my DAUGHTER'S GATHERING, but she PRESENTED her new wife

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #weddingstories #familydrama #lesbianwedding #relationshipadvice #emotionalreactions At my daughter's gathering, I was surprised when she introduced her new wife. The atmosphere shifted as family members reacted differently, revealing underlying tensions and emotions. This moment highlighted the complexities of acceptance and love within families, prompting me to reflect on my own feelings about her relationship. redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, family, weddings, LGBTQ, acceptance, relationships, emotional, gatherings, daughter, wife, love, support, reactions, drama, personalstories, storytellingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. I was present at my daughter's gathering, but she presented her new wife as the person who brought her up to her extended family and expelled me, declaring that I was a worthless individual she had no respect for. Ashamed of. I, 48F, need some outside perspective on what happened at my daughter's, 25F, rehearsal dinner and the events that followed. This has been eating me up, and I'm questioning whether I was wrong and how I handled things. A little background, my ex-husband, 50M, and I divorced when my daughter was 10. He remarried a

year later, and his new wife, my daughter's stepmom, let's call her S, has always tried to insert herself into my daughter's life as some kind of supermom. I did my best to co-parent peacefully, but things were always a little tense. Her dad is significantly more well-off than I am, and he made sure to show her that. Because of that, my daughter always favored her father, and her stepmother and resented me for not providing for her in the same way. To say we've had a rocky relationship would be an understatement. It's been tough, but I've tried to stay in her life and show her love. Now, fast forward to the wedding rehearsal dinner.

I was genuinely excited to be there. I thought we were in a good place, especially since I'd helped her with the wedding planning and some of the expenses. However, as the day of the wedding came closer, my daughter began to pull herself away from me. She would ignore my calls and messages for days, and when she finally got back to me, she'd sound really disinterested. I thought the rehearsal dinner would be a great chance for us to reconnect, and possibly work out whatever had been bothering her.

I hoped that this event would bring us closer and that the wedding might be a fresh start for us. But boy, was I wrong? During the dinner, my daughter stood up to introduce everyone to her soon-to-be in-laws. When she got to her stepmom, she said, This is S, the woman who raised me, she didn't look at me even once and instead beamed with pride and happiness as she raised her glass to her stepmother. It felt like a slap in the face, especially because I did raise her, or at least I thought I did. I just sat there, stunned, while everyone else smiled and raised their glasses to her stepmother

as well. It was as if I didn't exist. I stayed quiet and tried to hold back my tears because I didn't want to ruin the evening for her. I kept telling myself that this was her night and that my feelings didn't matter. My daughter came up to me after dinner and asked if we could talk privately. I was actually kind of happy that she was pulled aside because I thought that she wanted to either apologize or explain what she said earlier. That wasn't the case. Instead, she really laid into me and told me that she never wanted to invite me to her wedding in the first place. She told me that I was

a pathetic nobody who she was ashamed of. She then told me to leave and kicked me out. I can't even begin to explain the level of pain I felt. I never expected my own daughter to speak to me like that, I mean, there was so much disgust in her voice that I actually felt really bad about myself. I had spent years trying to be there for her, even when it felt like she didn't want me around. Once again, I did not want to cause a scene or argue with her in front of her future in-laws,

so I quietly went back to my hotel room. I was beyond heartbroken. I didn't sleep that night. Instead, I just replayed the whole evening over and over in my head. I also couldn't help but remember all the other times that my daughter was rude to me. She was never someone to shy away from speaking her mind. Regardless of how hurtful her words were. The only difference was usually, I could brush off her words as something that teenagers would say. This time? This time was very different.

She was a full-grown adult, talking to me completely sober, which meant she meant every word she said. I couldn't wrap my head around why she hated me so much. I cried a bunch and felt so pathetic that I decided it would be best for both of us if I went back home. I packed my bags and decided that I would drive back home as soon as the sun was up. The next morning, I checked out of the hotel and loaded my bags into my car. Just as I sat in my car and got ready to drive, I got a from my daughter. She was hysterical. She told me that her dad and stepmom had betrayed her. Apparently, they had presented her with some documents that morning essentially they stated that since my daughter was no longer a part of their family, she would be disinherited from their

wealth. Basically, they were severing all financial ties with her. The thing is, my daughter chose to go to a very expensive university for a degree that she hasn't used ever. When it came time to select her university, she was clueless and had no interest in pursuing further education in one particular subject. I suggested that she go to community college for a couple of years so she could expand her horizons and then pick a better university based on something she was passionate about. However, her stepmother was adamant that my daughter go to college as soon as she graduated high school and told her that she would pay for any university as long as my daughter got a degree. S even went out of her way to show my daughter brochures of very, very expensive universities

so she could convince my daughter to get a degree. Now, I didn't have that kind of money, and I explained that to my daughter as best as I could. The original plan was for my husband and I had to pay for my daughter's college tuition together, but I would not have been able to do that if my daughter chose to go to the universities that S was showing her. My daughter took my financial difficulties to mean that I did not want her to go to university at all. She told me countless. times that if I really wanted her to have a good life, I would have made things happen for her, the way S always did. She thought that I was too consumed by my jealousy for S to actually provide for her. Obviously, that was never true. The money S was spending was not hers but my ex-husbands

which was money I did not have. I tried my best to explain this to my daughter, but she refused to listen to me and decided to go to one of the expensive universities that S had shown her. She chose one that was far away from our home state so she could be away from me. She took out a student loan, at the advice of her father, and cut all contact with me for four years. Her father and stepmother promised her that they would take care of her student loans, and apparently only advised her to take that loan because they did not have that amount in liquid. They had slowly but steadily been giving her the funds to pay off her loan, but now that they decided to cut her off financially, they pushed that loan fully onto her. My daughter has never worked a day and

in her life, and she has absolutely no money of her own. Her father had been giving her a monthly allowance, which is how she managed to live. She has absolutely no way to pay off that loan without actually getting a job because her fiancé does not have that kind of money either. She kept crying about how betrayed she felt and even told me that I was the only one who could help her out. She first begged me to talk to her father and stepmother, but I refused to do that. She tried to reason with me and tried to guilt me into talking to her father. She told me that if I didn't talk to him, she and her husband would be left struggling for years just to pay off her loan. She told me that her husband had student loans of his own and that she couldn't make his life worse with her loan.

She begged me to talk to her father and change his mind, but I saw no good reason to talk to my ex-husband when he did nothing but make my life miserable. I told my daughter that if she didn't want to make her husband's life miserable, she could get a job and help him out. out. I tried to tell her that what was happening to her was in no way the end of the world. But that only made her angrier with me. My daughter lashed out at me and demanded I'd pay off her debt because she thought I was the reason for her father cutting her off. I will admit that by this point, I was furious. I asked her if she really thought that she could live on her father's money for the rest of her life. I reminded her of how I had advised her not to choose an expensive university because she would struggle later on, especially when her father told her to

take out a student loan instead of paying it off himself. I reminded her how whenever I tried to tell her passively about how amazing it would be for her to get a job and put her degree to use, she lashed out at me and stopped talking to me for a week or at least until I apologized and did everything I could to be on good terms with her again. Keep in mind, this happened after she finally let me talk to her once she graduated from university. I told her that she was a grown woman and that it was time for her to finally start acting like it. I also reminded her that considering I was a pathetic nobody, I had no way to actually help her out.

She called me selfish and petty for bringing up something that happened the night before. I hung up the phone after that and drove home. I skipped the wedding and I turned my phone off because I did not want her to call me again. I know I was pretty harsh with my words, but saying all of that made me feel a whole lot lighter. I mean, those were words that I had been bottling up. up inside me because she was my daughter, and I never wanted to say a mean word to her. Every time she insulted me or treated me wrong, I never got angry with her. Maybe that was a mistake in

hindsight, but I still did my absolute best to show her that she meant the absolute world to me and that I would always be there for her. I did not like the way that she treated me especially since she had the nerve to call me the morning after she called me a pathetic nobody and didn't even think once to apologize. Instead, she somehow found a way to turn her words into my fault. I switched my phone on the next day, and I had hundreds of messages from my daughter, and other family members most of whom knew about the difficulties I had raising my daughter. My daughter thought I was very selfish for not only refusing to help her out, but also for skipping her wedding and ruining her important day. Our relatives are divided.

Relatives on my side of the family supported me when I explained the situation to them. However, all our other relatives berated me and told me I was heartless for abandoning my daughter when she needed me the most. I feel so torn. On one hand, I feel so relieved that I put myself first for the first time, and on the other, I feel terrible that I made my daughter upset and that I can't help her out. I swear, I want to help her out. It hurt to hear the pain in her voice when she called me that day, but I barely make $40,000 a year. I really don't have the kind of money to help my daughter pay off her loan. I feel like I should just bite the bullet and talk to my ex-husband. I feel like I should just bite the bullet and talk to my I could maybe ask him to be a little more understanding of our daughter's situation, and perhaps

be a little more gracious towards her. I don't think that will necessarily work out, but I will do anything if that means my daughter gets to be happy I just don't know what to do or feel. I need help. I feel trapped and like a failure. I tried reaching out to my daughter earlier today, but she hasn't picked up any of my calls or replied to any of my texts. I'm beginning to feel like a real monster thanks to the way I behaved and the words I said. Ida for putting my foot down with my daughter and skipping her wedding? If there's anyone out there who reads this and leaves me some advice, I want to thank you in advance. Update 1. Hello. First of all, I want to thank everyone who commented on this post. I did not think that my post would get so much attention, but I'm

grateful it did. I got so many nice and validating comments, and trust me, I have not felt so seen and cared for in a really long time, so I really am super grateful for all the comments. I do want to address a few questions that popped up in the comments before I move on to my update. One, am I aware of how spoiled my daughter is? Yes. I unfortunately am aware of how spoiled she is. I get how infuriating it is to read my post and while I appreciate all the advice to cut off

my daughter, I'm afraid it's a lot more complicated than that. She is my daughter. I carried her for nine months and gave her the life she has. She's my pride and joy. I can't simply cut her out of my life. I can acknowledge the fact that she isn't the best person, but I cannot abandon her. Two, why did I divorce my ex-husband? A lot of comments were asking if my ex-husband and I got divorced because he cheated on me

or if I did something to him. I don't think it's necessary to discuss my personal life here, but I will tell you that we had a nasty divorce. My daughter's father wasn't the best husband to me, and when I'd finally had enough, I filed for divorce. He resented me for that and took it upon himself to make me regret making that decision. He fought for full custody of my daughter for years. He scrutinized everything I did so he could use it in court against me. He got married to a model shortly after our divorce so he could rub it in my face that he was better off without me, while he never explicitly told my daughter anything against me, his actions spoke louder than any words could have.

Three, do I hate my daughter's stepmother? No. I just have a very complicated relationship with her. She's been nice to me whenever I've met her but only out of pity. Again, I don't have a problem with that at all. I couldn't care less about my ex-husband's new relationship, and I was glad that he was finally happy. What I did have a problem with was how my daughter's stepmother took it upon. I didn't herself to parent my daughter. For years, she tried to convince me to waive my parental rights for my daughter so she could adopt my daughter and be her legal parent. While she never got upset with me for saying no, she did tell my daughter that I did not want her to be my daughter's mother. That ruined my relationship with my daughter for a good while. Of course, her stepmother corrected

what she meant and my daughter understood, but the damage was already done. Other than that, whenever I did anything for my daughter, she would do her best to one-up me. Whenever I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to do something, or even if I tried to discipline my daughter by grounding her, my daughter's stepmother would but in and tell my daughter that she was allowed to do whatever she wanted. My ex-husband obviously did not care that his wife was undermining my role as our daughter's mother.

He found it very amusing and told me that his wife was as much a mother to our daughter as I was. So yeah, my daughter's stepmother was never overtly rude or mean to me, but she did make raising my daughter difficult. I don't have any negative feelings towards her yes even when she was the reason my daughter cut off all contact with me for four years. I never held any negative feelings towards her. If there's one person I blame for all of this, it's obviously my ex-husband. This entire situation was a ploy for him to get back at me for ruining his perfect family.

I just wish my daughter could see that. Now, on to the update. It took a week for my daughter to finally get back to me. I can't even tell you how happy I was that she picked up my call. Obviously, she was very angry with me, and initially, she barely responded to me. But after I told her that I would talk to her father, she perked up immediately. I know a lot of the comments told me to stand my ground and not talk to my husband. but I realized I could put my ego aside and help my daughter out instead.

Don't get me wrong, I love that I put my foot down with my daughter for the first time, but she still needed the help. I explained that to my daughter as well. I told her that the only reason I would talk to her father was because I cared for her. I told her that I didn't care about her debt or any of that. I only cared about how unhappy she was and I wanted to make that right. She broke down and told me she was sorry for treating me poorly. She then revealed to me that her marriage was on the rocks.

I was shocked. I mean, it had barely been two weeks. She revealed that her husband was not okay with the huge loan that she had. They had apparently made a lot of plans about what they were going to do after marriage, like buying a home and starting a family. All of those plans would be delayed by a lot because of her loan, and her husband was considering leaving her because he didn't want to be stuck paying off her loan instead of doing the things he'd been dreaming of doing. I felt horrible for her. I couldn't imagine

how she must have been feeling when every important person in her life turned their backs on her. I told her that I would do my best to help her out, but I also told her that there was a huge chance that her father wouldn't listen to a word I said. She tried to argue about that, but I quickly shut her down with a few examples of all the times her father completely disregarded me. She was really upset, but I promised her that I would help her get back on her feet no matter what. All I wanted in return was for her to actually make an effort to get the thing she wants. Thankfully, my daughter seemed to see the light and told me that she would do whatever I wanted of her if things with her father did not pan out.

She thanked me at the end of the call, and as sad as it is, that was the most sincere she'd ever been with her gratefulness. It made me even more resolute in my decision to help her out. That leads me to today. I called her father and we decided to meet at his place this weekend so we could talk. I don't have much hope for this to work out in my daughter's favor, but at the very least this has been a very eye-opening moment for my daughter. I know that no matter what happens from here on she'll be a changed person, and I hope that

she'll include me in her life a lot more. Wish me luck. I'll update you after this weekend. Update 2, I'm back. The weekend was yesterday, and I was too emotionally drained to update. yesterday. Anyway, let me get to it. On the day that I was going to visit my ex-husband, my daughter insisted that she come along as well. I wasn't so sure about that idea being good, but I decided that it would be good for her to be there, so she could hear everything that was said. I picked my

daughter up from her place and we went over to her father's house together. When we got there, my ex-husband barely acknowledged us because he knew what we were there to talk about. His wife walked in and greeted us as nicely as she could, but the atmosphere was pretty tense. I addressed the topic and did my best to reason with them to help my daughter out with her loan. I thought I could at least negotiate with them to stop sending her a monthly allowance and simply help her pay off her loan, but they refused to agree to what I was saying. At some point, my daughter also joined in to try to convince her father, but that only seemed to make her stepmother angrier. Eventually, her stepmother burst out and told her that she regretted ever being kind to her.

She told my daughter that she was the worst thing that ever happened to her and my ex-husband. She told my daughter that she was spoiled and a menace to her father. She also said that the only reason she was ever kind to my daughter was because of my ex-husband and because she pitted my ex-husband. She told my daughter that she purposely flashed those brochures for expensive universities because she knew they were far away from home and she thought that would be the greatest present for my ex-husband. And she also revealed that she told my ex-husband that she would treat me.

my daughter nicely only until she got married. After my daughter got married, she told my ex-husband that he'd have to cut off all financial ties to my daughter and let her deal with things by herself. My ex-husband agreed to those terms, and for some reason never thought of it when he agreed to help my daughter out with her student loan. Obviously, my daughter's crushed and I feel horrible for her. My daughter and I quickly left after her stepmother's outburst. My ex-husband did not have any remorse on his face actually, he even looked relieved and that made me furious. I didn't say anything, though, because I was too focused on consoling my daughter. When I thought she was calmer and doing better, I dropped her off back at her place. Just a few hours later, I got a call

from her and she was hysterical. I finally managed to calm her down before she told me that her husband was going to file for a nullment of their marriage because he didn't want to be tied down to someone with her kind of debt. My heart broke for my little girl. I quickly went over to her place and I did my best to be with her. We were up until 4 a.m. just talking and crying. I think we healed our relationship quite a lot. While I wish my daughter never had to go through such a painful experience, I'm glad that at the very least, she's come out a better person.

And yes, I know that it's too early to be the judge of that, but I truly think that she's on the path to becoming a better person. That's it for now. I'm going to do my best to be there for my daughter and help her. her out to the best of my abilities. Thanks for all the concern and well wishes. I'll be back if there are other major updates. Update 3, so it's been around four months since I last came here. A lot has happened and if I'm being honest I completely forgot about this post, but I finally got some downtime today and I happened to remember it. I promised you guys an update, so here it is.

After my daughter's husband told her that he would file for annulment of their marriage, I went over to help her out and just be there for her in general. Her husband stayed at a hotel the entire time and he actually did go through with what he said. Yeah, my daughter was an absolute wreck. It got scary after a certain point. My daughter would not eat, would rarely get out of bed and she couldn't stop crying. Of course, I stayed with her the entire time and helped her out as best as I could. Eventually, it was beginning to affect me as well, so I managed to convince her to get I figured that other than her husband leaving her and finding out that her stepmother never

loved her, she also had other issues to resolve, so therapy was her best bet. Thankfully, I was right. I began to see a vast improvement in my daughter. She even suggested that both of us go to family therapy so we can properly work out our relationship. I cannot even describe how happy that made me. But, yes, we did start therapy together and our relationship has grown quite a bit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still wary about how everything could quickly change, and that is something I'm working on with my daughter, but after she started to actually feel better, I helped her find a good job.

It was nothing fancy and she'd have to work really hard to live a decent life, but I feel like that starting point is better than no starting point. I'm glad that my daughter has at least taken a step in the right direction. I do feel bad that she's exhausted every single day and that she's not living the life that she was so used to, but this is the best she can do. do with her circumstances. Other than that, my daughter and I have gotten a lot closer. After everything that happened, I stayed with her for three months, and this has been the first month that I haven't seen her face every day. Of course, we do still meet up once a week and we make it a point to call each other every single day. My daughter has been very apologetic for the way she treated me growing up, and I appreciate those apologies a lot. As for my trashy ex-husband and

his wife, I have no idea what they're up to. Last I heard from a few family members on his side, they've been fighting a lot and they're currently not living together. I think my ex-husband feels a little guilty for the way he treated my daughter, but has chosen to take that guilt out on the one person closest to him. Oh well. I can't say I feel bad for him, and neither can my daughter. She's cut off all contact with her father and refuses to even be associated with him. There's still a long way to go for my daughter and me, but I'm beyond happy that I finally have my daughter back. I'm so happy that she's a much better person than she was, and I'm even happier that she's managed to pick herself up and make a better life for herself. That's it for me.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my story and give me their advice. I truly am grateful for all of you.