Reddit Stories - I'm EXPECTING a baby, but I SUSPECT my partner has an UNSUITABLE bond

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #pregnancy #family #trustissues #communicationissuesSummary: I'm expecting a baby, but I suspect my partner has an unsuitable bond. It's causing trust and communication issues in our relationship. I need advice on how to address this delicate situation before it affects our growing family.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, pregnancy, family, trust, communication, partner, bond, baby, parenting, suspicions, advice, conflict, resolution, support, communityBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I'm expecting a baby, but I suspect my partner has an unsuitable bond with his mother, as I overheard strange sounds emanating from her quarters while I was resting, and now I'm doubting. Whether to stay or leave. My boyfriend, 23M, and I, 22F, have been dating for six months now. We were friends for three years before dating. I am also pregnant. He has been an absolutely amazing boyfriend, but I have been an absolutely amazing boyfriend,

but I am noticing weird things with his mother that are really creeping me out and making me question this relationship and this pregnancy. I have been pretty much living with my boyfriend, under his mother's roof. For about four months now, I sleep here every single night. She is a single mother and in her 60s. My boyfriend's dad is remarried, and he has told me that since the divorce's mom has been depressed and never been quite the same. They divorced when he was quite young, maybe around seven years old. She still cries to this day about the divorce and infidelity as well as his father remarrying, and I don't think she has ever truly gotten over him.

She does not date and hasn't since the divorce. My boyfriend had told me multiple times in arguments with his mother she'll constantly compare him to his father, and say things like you're just like your father you don't care about me. Also want to note that my boyfriend looks exactly like his father. I noticed pretty early on that it seems like she takes out her feelings about her. her ex-husband on my boyfriend. When we first started dating, he would say that his mother is jealous that she's not spending as much time with him anymore and she's been like that with all of

his exes. I noticed she doesn't make much of an effort to talk to me, she is a bit awkward and when she is home she pretty much just stays locked in her room. He says she likes me, and she is always kind when she talks to me, but for some reason my intuition is strongly telling me otherwise. There have been multiple times where we pick up food and he asks her if she wants anything and she says no. When we come back with food she'll send him texts or say to him personally that we only care about ourselves and not her. I noticed these red flags early on, but brushed it off. Here is where things get really weird and twisted. I don't want to believe this is what's going on and I feel crazy for even having these thoughts, but it's hard to find

another explanation about things that I have heard. One Saturday morning, everything was going as normal. My boyfriend and I woke up together, did our morning routines and decided to play a couple games on the PS5 together as we normally do on weekends. I was feeling tired as I am pregnant and the hormones have been making me super exhausted, so after a couple of games I decided to take a little nap. He turned off the PS5 and put a YouTube video on the TV kind of loud. He said he would make me breakfast while I napped, so I dozed off as he left the room. It sounded like he went straight to his mother's room and shut the door. Her door is creaky and I can hear every time it opens as it is right next to his room. He often goes into his mother's room and talks to her for a while

so I paid this no mind and continued to rest. I am a very heavy sleeper by the way. Not sure how much time passed but I woke up to the sound of banging on the wall very loud. I then heard the door open and him say, oh so you. And I didn't hear the rest, but it almost sounded like oh so you want to be bad, huh? Or something along those lines and the loud banging continued, now sounding like it was in the hallway right outside the door. I heard mumbling that literally sounded like the way he talks to me when we have Sags. I sat up in bed confused, and listened for a couple more minutes. I could have sworn I heard her like gasp or something. At this point I was getting freaked out because it literally sounded like Sags noises. I got up and sat in front of the TV which is

next to the door and put it on mute. Right after I did that the banging stopped, almost as if they heard me awake and stopped doing whatever they were doing. I then heard shuffling and his mother say lie and he said yes, Mom. I heard him go downstairs for a few minutes then he came back into the room with a bowl of cereal. Mind you usually when he makes me breakfast it's pancakes, bacon, eggs and hash browns. I straight up asked him what was that noise. He looked super nervous and then said I was arguing with my mom. I asked about what and he was stuttering nonsense and said he was arguing about a Christmas present. I thought this made so sense. I asked him if the argument got physical because I was hearing loud noises and he said no. I was pressing him,

asking him what that could have been, was he moving furniture or something? It was very loud. He began pacing around the room nervously and said quietly I am filled with regret. After like an hour of pressing him about it and him telling me it was just an argument. He didn't know what noise I was talking about, etc. I dropped it because I literally thought I was going insane. I know what it sounded like, but I didn't want to believe that something so twisted was going on, and the fact that they were doing it while I am in the next room, sleeping and pregnant. I was literally uncontrollably shaking, extremely disturbed at what I just heard. It was clear as day what it was, but I genuinely thought I was maybe losing it.

Later that night I brought it up again and implied I think something was going on, or maybe the argument got physical and he shouldn't be afraid to tell me. He then was like, want me to ask my mom if we were hitting each other? He then goes to his mom's room and asks her if anything went on and was telling her how I think they got into a physical fight. He comes back to me and tells me his mother said that it's just pregnancy hormones and I'm overthinking and then she proceeded to text him, we don't live like that, which he showed me. I took a day to think about it and came to the conclusion.

that I am not crazy, I know what I heard. I started thinking back on if I ever heard weird things or felt weird vibes concerning his mother and it turns out there were a couple things I overheard in the past that made me look at them sideways. Some examples. One, I heard him walking up the stairs behind her and say I can still feel around and she laughed. Two, I once heard the sound of clapping coming from her room when he was in there talking. 3. Heard them in the kitchen semi-arguing and him saying to her, I'm trying my best. How can I be better for you? As if they're in a relationship or something. Four, he once told me that as a child the doctor thought his mother was molesting him because he saw her hair wrapped around my boyfriend's

penis. Five, now that I think about I think I have heard banging or weird noises before when they are talking for long periods of time whether it be in her room or downstairs in the living room and kitchen. Six, all day every day his mother is constantly texting him, bothering him about coming home, seeing what he's doing, etc. Seven. One day he said he was going to make me breakfast a separate time from the one mentioned above and fell back asleep. His mom was also home in her room. I woke up to him coming back in the room freshly showered with only a towel around his waist with no breakfast for me. This is unusual because usually when he says he is going to make me breakfast, he goes to make it right away and wakes me up with it. Also, he never showers at this time of day.

After hearing the weird stuff I have now heard, it makes me wonder if he was in his mother's room. Eight, I once heard his mother go downstairs while he was in the kitchen and he thought I was sleeping. I then heard him saying, come on mom and her laughing and walking away. He kept calling her to come back and she goes not tonight, baby. Could he have been asking her for Sags? It has now been a couple of weeks since the incident where I heard the loud banging. It has been running through my mind every single day. His mother already gave me uncomfortable and off-putting vibe since the beginning, but now I feel very paranoid and creeped out about her and their relationship. I have since pressed him about it

again, and pretty much told him what I heard sounded very weird and like something sexual was going on. We argued about it for like two days straight. He insists that him and his mother do not have a weird relationship, and him and his mother have no idea what loud noises I was hearing. How can they have possibly not heard something so loud, especially when the noises were coming from where I heard both of their voices? He has tried to explain it away in every possible way but nothing makes sense. He said it could have been the dog, neighbors, or footsteps but I've been living here for four months now and know what all of those things sound like. This was absolutely none of those things. I wish I had opened the

door to get physical proof, because now it just feels like I'm being lied to. I have been doubting myself thinking could this actually be possible, but when I think back to what I heard it was so clear. I am slowly putting the pieces together and I don't know what to do. Today, I feel like I have reached my breaking point. I don't know if I'm being paranoid now, but something that happened today has made me overthink this situation even more. We were hanging out as normal. I noticed him and his mother texting back and forth a bunch. He then went downstairs to make me soup as I was feeling nauseous. I thought I heard her door quietly open and close, which is weird because she usually swings it open loudly and I hear the creak.

She also has super loud footsteps, but I didn't hear her going downstairs so I thought I was tripping maybe. Then I heard banging coming from downstairs which I figured was just my boyfriend cleaning and making food. The soup only takes five minutes to make. it is a packaged soup. He was downstairs for about 30 to 40 minutes. He comes back upstairs with my soup and then I hear his mother loudly coming upstairs. So I was right, I did hear her door open as if she was sneaking downstairs so that I would not hear. I asked him what took so long and he nervously was saying a bunch of things that didn't make sense. He made no mention of his mother being downstairs. I then asked if he was talking to someone and he nervously said you my mom.

Then he accused me of being paranoid about his mom and that I think I'm hearing things. I made no mention of his mom or hearing things even though I did hear banging. So does this means he knows he was being loud and I could have heard it? It seemed like projection and him feeling guilty about something he's doing with his mother. At this point I do not trust him being around his mother and I am disturbed and drained. I am horrified and don't know what to do. I know this all sounds so crazy and outlandish but my gut is telling me. me something is wrong. There's no mistaking what I heard that day. Am I being crazy or should

I trust my gut and what I know I heard? I feel like the signs and things I have heard now are so blatantly obvious and I cannot ignore it anymore or try to explain it away. It genuinely seems as if something incestuous is going on with my boyfriend and his mother. I have always said I do not want to be a single mother or raise a child in a broken home and now I am three months pregnant. I am also in fear that if he does have a sick and twisted relationship with his mother, who's to say he wouldn't try to do the same with our child. I am seriously considering terminating the pregnancy and breaking up with him. What should I do and does it sound like I am overreacting or should I trust my gut? Comments where Op has replied. Comment one. Firstly, this is wild.

You say you have been friends for three years before being together. Can you not ask other friends whether they think his mom is a bit clingy, you never know what people might say. Do you have contact with his dad? Maybe worth seeing whether he thinks their relationship is sketchy. There is a possibility what you're hearing isn't what you're thinking. I suffer with extreme paranoia at times and I have previously convinced myself someone is in my house when I'm home alone. I even had a friend come round to check on one occasion. Then by chance I saw a magpie one day trying to get through a window making noises similar to what was triggering the paranoia. I moved a shiny plant pot off the window sill and the noises no longer happen.

In my head I made this noise into intruders even though logically it made no sense, but I have previous trauma that means I live on the edge expecting bad things to happen. This sounds insane and not at all logical I know, but is entirely true. And with hindsight pretty embarrassing. I am a little unhinged, before anyone else says it. I'm telling you this because without seeing that magpie I would still be convinced of people trying to get in my house. Even though I knew it was not logical.

So as much as you don't want to, next time you hear it you need to look, then you will know. If it is happening, be calm, don't confront them, just turn around and walk away. Return for your things at a later date with support. If it is not happening, seek help. Therapy saved my life. Good luck either way. Oop. Before all the weird stuff happened, my best friend who actually introduced me to my boyfriend said that it sounds like his mom is in love with him and that she's jealous of me. And yes, I have a

very good relationship with his father. Comment too, if you honestly think they are having an incestuous relationship, why are you still there? How did you get pregnant? Did you BF. mess with the contraception? Because if this is real, maybe he wants the baby for him and his mom. Oop, I think I have been doubting myself because I don't have physical evidence and when I have confronted him about it he lies, lies, lies. But at this point I don't even think I can stay to get the physical evidence because, one, I am scared if I genuinely caught them in the act they may do something to me and two. I know what I have heard.

I can't doubt myself anymore, Oop posted a comment. Thanking Reditors for support. Thank you to everyone who is offering me genuine advice and support. Many people are making comments about how I've handled things so far. I am a 22-year-old college student with a lot on my plate and this is my first pregnancy. How would you handle this? I'm trying my best and trying to go about this in a way that is safest for me. And to those of you leaving insensitive comments, this is my real life and the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

Please have some empathy. Thank you. Update, hi everyone. It has been a little while since I made that post-activity. asking for advice. I appreciate those who had kind words and genuine advice. Thank you. Sorry if this post is a little all over the place and long as was my last one. A lot has gone on in the time since I last posted and I am just venting it all out and documenting my experience here. I want to start by addressing a couple things people commented on my last post.

One, people asked why I never go in the kitchen or make food myself. I am not lazy at all and I gladly would make him and myself food because I actually love cooking, but he would never let me go in the kitchen because he says he's embarrassed of the state of it. I have offered numerous, numerous times to cook, but he would never let me. One day when him and his mother were at work I did go peek in the kitchen to see what the fuss was about and why he wouldn't let me in there. It was a mess, the sink overflowing with dishes, cabinet doors falling off, clutter everywhere and dog piss on the floor, so I guess I see why. Two, why did I never leave the room? It is a extremely small house.

His mother does nothing around the house and it is a mess, and he gave up on trying to clean because she and the dog destroy everything. Downstairs consists of the kitchen, bathroom and living room. He didn't want me in the kitchen, and nobody ever uses the living room. I only would need to go downstairs to use the bathroom. We both stay in the room together as that was literally the only habitable space for us. We have had numerous conversations about how I feel something weird was going on that day. I heard the banging, and I feel like something is very off about his relationship with his mother.

I straight up told him it sounded like they were having sex. I also told him that if something like this was going on, it has clearly been something he has been dealing with since a child and I would be willing to get him help but he needs to realize that this is fucking sick. And whether or not the relationship was sexual, she clearly is emotionally incestuous with him and he needs to do something about it or he will lose me forever. I cried to him and expressed how if such a thing was going on. Not only do I feel sorry for him and I can empathize as I have been a victim of childhood sexual abuse,

but I need him to understand how I feel being dragged into such a fucked-up situation when I'm just a girl who fell in love with him having no idea what I was getting myself into. He has never outright admitted that something was going on that day slash in general. But things he has said and his behavior leads me to believe he was being taken advantage of by his mother. I've straight-up said if I am crazy or having delusions to think something so sick is going on I will gladly get help or check myself in somewhere, to which he has said you're not crazy, I don't think you're crazy. In our conversations about this he has cried, he has said he is probably traumatized

by her, and he has said things like she's sick. He expressed to me how he wants to get out of there and be away from her. I could see in his face when confronting him about this he looks visibly traumatized and just sick. He gets worked up in a way that to me just screams that he is traumatized. Sometimes he like hyperventilates when talking about it and stutters and his voice cracks. The things he says feels like he's trying to tell me slash confirm it without saying it. He once said, I'll tell you more about my mother and my childhood when we are out of here.

Meaning moved out. Maybe it was uncomfortable to talk about especially because we still were around her. All of these things feel to me like subtle confirmations. Since then I have noticed he has created distance from her, he would leave the door wide open any time he stepped out. He tells me he wants me to trust him and I can go downstairs if I ever am feeling weird. He has expressed how much he truly loves me and does not want to lose me over this and has been proving it with his actions.

He also has made a massive effort to move out of there and away from his mother. I am still pregnant. I actually had made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy because of this. I was in the worst mental state and depression I've ever been in. My appointment fell on the last day it was legal to terminate in my state, and it was two hours away because the clinic's closest to me didn't have available appointments. I ended up missing this appointment. Looking back now it feels like fate maybe.

I now am in a better mental state, and I have grown to love my baby and I am glad that he is still here. It's a boy, I expressed to him that I would not ever feel comfortable with his mother around my baby and he agreed with me. Another subtle confirmation to me, my boyfriend and I have since moved out and got our own place. We are going on two weeks here now. I haven't brought up the situation again as we have been busy with moving and I am giving it some time. But I do believe now that we are in our own place he will eventually open up to me about this hopefully and we can seek some sort of

therapy slash professional help. Lastly, I want to note some disturbing behavior from his mother I noticed in the weeks leading up to our move. We went out to dinner with her on two separate occasions where she says weird inappropriate things. My BF was talking about the food saying that every time he comes to this restaurant his food comes out different, to which she replied every time I come it's different. During the car ride there, we all rode in the same car, we were talking about how my BF used to have two jobs but he left one of them because he didn't have time for anything anymore. And then she says no time for sex. Also, he was talking about how the car had good seat warmers and she made a comment about how the heat feels on his balls.

Very weird and uncomfortable you. A couple days before we officially moved out, she sent him a nasty text that was reeking of jealousy. He read it to me and showed me. She was berating him and me calling us all types of names, saying she is so glad we're going to live happily ever after, sarcastically obviously. She hopes our baby doesn't come out with issues, clearly backhanded and being fucking nasty, that we are selfish and horrible people, and she never wants to see him again. Clearly lashing out because she is jealous and angry that her son that she is so in love with is moving out and starting a life without her. Mind you, this is a woman in her 60s, acting like this towards her son. Despicable, the last time we were at the house

packing our final things up to move to our apartment, I think she was trying to ask him for segs like the sick fuck that she is. If it is not something sexual going on, she was still being weird and making him, and me, uncomfortable. He was downstairs packing some things, left the bedroom door wide open, and as he was coming back up the stairs she comes out of her room. He tells her that he's about to leave and she's like, why didn't you wake me up? Innocent enough, right? She then asks if he's going to walk the dog, I believe trying to get him away from me for enough time. Then I hear her ask, can he hang out with her for old time's sake, to which she tells her no. She starts mumbling, I make out the word cuddle and

then she's like real quick, just five seconds please? And he tells her no again. I hear her say you're never coming back, sounding sad. When he comes back into the room he looks visibly uncomfortable and his face is red. The energy was just often uncomfortable which leads me to believe this was not an innocent interaction on her part. And it was clear to me he wanted to be far away, from her. I then go into the hallway where she's still standing there like a creep like trying to wait for him to be alone and I tell her I'll go walk the dog with him. Me and him walk the dog, put our final things in the car and finally got the fuck out of there. Dealing with this situation has not been easy in the slightest. I have chosen to move forward with him because I see the effort

he has been making to make me feel more secure. I do believe he realizes how weird this relationship is with his mother, and I truly empathize and I do love him and want to get him help because I I believe he is a victim and this is not his fault and he is surely traumatized by this lady. I'm already traumatized by her and haven't dealt with her for nearly as long as him. I hope and pray that from now on we no longer have to deal with this evil woman and her issues and focus on our own family. Any advice or helpful input is welcome. Thank you to those who listen and care.