Reddit Stories - INVESTED all my savings to PURCHASE and remodel my PARTNER'S ideal home as

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #homeownership #financialdecisions #partnership #remodelingSummary: INVESTED all my savings to PURCHASE and remodel my PARTNER'S ideal home as a surprise, only for them to reject it, causing a rift in our relationship and financial strain.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, homeownership, financialdecisions, partnership, remodeling, savings, rejection, rift, strain, surprise, rejection, financial, home, ideal, remodel, rejectBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Invested all my savings to purchase and remodel my partner's ideal home as a wedding gift, only to discover that she fabricated her pre-wedding excursion to meet with her former partner. Who was trying to win her back? Okay, Reddit, this is going to be long and messy because my life just imploded in the most expensive way possible. I need some perspective because I honestly don't know if I'm the asshole here or if I just made the worst financial decision of my life for all the right reasons. First, some background that probably makes me sound insane but bear with me.

I'm a 29-year-old who got really lucky with some early NVIDIA stock purchases back when everyone thought I was throwing money away on graphics card companies. My fiancé Sarah and I have been together for six years, engaged for eight months. She makes decent money, and we've always split things pretty evenly despite my recent windfall. Here's where it gets complicated. Sarah has this thing about surprises. She absolutely loves them but is terrible at keeping secrets herself. It's actually cute most of the time.

She also has this dream house obsession. Every weekend for the past year, she's been dragging me to open houses in this specific neighborhood about 20 minutes from downtown. Not because we were house shopping, but because she just loves looking at perfect houses and imagining what we do with them. There's this one house that she's been obsessed with for months. It's this 1920s craftsman that's been sitting on the market forever because it needed serious work, new electrical, updated plumbing, kitchen renovation, basically everything.

Every time we drove past it, she'd slow down and talk about how it had good bones and how someone with vision could make it incredible. The asking price started at $580,000, dropped to $520,000, then $480,000. $80,000. Sarah would joke that we should make a lowball offer just to see what happens, but she never meant it seriously. Here's where I potentially became either the world's most romantic fiancé or the biggest idiot on the planet. Three months ago, I noticed the house had dropped to $400,000 and was marked as motivated seller. I had about $320,000 in my trading account from the NVIDIA windfall, plus $80,000 in savings.

Instead of being sensible and talking to Sarah about it, I got this crazy idea that I could buy it as a surprise and renovate it as a wedding gift. Not just any surprise, the ultimate surprise. I contacted the listing agent and made a cash offer of $385,000, which they accepted immediately. Apparently, the sellers were going through a divorce and just wanted to be done with it. I closed on the house two weeks later and immediately hired a contractor who specialized in historic renovations. The plan was to have it completely done by our wedding date so I could surprise her with the keys during our reception. I know how insane this sounds, but Sarah's the kind of person who tears up at those home makeover shows,

and I thought this would be the most incredible surprise of her life. The renovation has been going amazing. New electrical throughout, updated plumbing, restored hardwood floors, completely redone kitchen with the exact subway tile and quartz countertops Sarah always pins on Pinterest. I've been sneaking over there during lunch breaks and after work to check on progress, telling Sarah I've been putting in extra hours on a big project. The contractor estimated everything would be done two weeks before the wedding, which seemed perfect. Now here's where everything went sideways.

Sarah has been planning this bachelorette party in Vegas for months. It was supposed to be her, her sister and three college friends doing the typical Vegas thing, shows, nice dinners, maybe some gambling, definitely too much drinking. She's been so excited about it, calling it her last hurrah before becoming a wife. I was happy she was doing something fun for herself because wedding planning has been stressful for both of us. The trip was planned for four days, and she left enthusiastic and text. me constantly about how excited she was. The first day, I got regular updates about their arrival, the hotel, dinner plans. Normal stuff. The second day, the texts became less frequent, which I figured was just her having fun and being busy. By the third day, I was getting maybe

one text in the evening saying she was having a great time and she'd call me tomorrow. Here's where I screwed up. I have this friend Marcus who works in hotel management. in Vegas and practically knows everyone there. I thought it would be fun to surprise Sarah with something special, maybe champagne in her room or dinner reservations at a place that's usually impossible to get into. I texted Marcus asking if he had any connections at the Bellagio, which is where Sarah said they were staying.

Marcus texted me back asking for Sarah's last name so he could look it up through his connections. I gave it to him, and 20 minutes later he called me. There was no reservation under Sarah's name at the Bellagio. He checked the other major hotels on the strip, thinking maybe I'd gotten confused. Nothing. I tried to convince myself there was a logical explanation. Maybe one of her friends had made the reservation under their name.

Maybe they had switched hotels. But something felt wrong, I checked our shared credit card account online. The charges were all wrong. Instead of Vegas restaurants and shows, there were charges from places in Phoenix. Not just any places in Phoenix, but specific restaurants that I recognized because Sarah's ex-boyfriend Jake moved there two years ago. Jake, who she dated for three years before we got together. Jake, who she insisted she had no contact with but who still occasionally likes her Instagram

posts. I sat in my car outside the renovation house and felt like the biggest fool in the world. I called Sarah's sister Emma, who's usually pretty direct with me. The conversation was awkward and weird. When I asked how Vegas was going, Emma got quiet and then said she thought Sarah had told me that plans had changed. When I pressed her, she admitted she wasn't on the trip, and she didn't think any of Sarah's college friends were either. I didn't sleep that night. I kept thinking about how I had spent the last three months sneaking around, putting every spare dollar into this house renovation.

imagining Sarah's face when I surprised her with her dream home, while she was apparently sneaking around with her ex-boyfriend. When Sarah came home the next evening, she was glowing and happy and full of stories about Vegas. She told me about shows she had seen, restaurants she had eaten at, even showed me photos on her phone of her and her friends at various Vegas locations. Except I now knew that at least some of those photos had to be fake or old, because the credit card charges prove she had been in Arizona. I didn't confront her immediately. I know that probably makes me a coward, but I needed time to think. I kept going to the house, watching the contractor put finishing touches on what was supposed to be our dream home. The kitchen countertops

were installed. The bathroom renovation was complete. The floors were being refinished. It was beautiful, exactly what Sarah had always said she wanted. But ever, ever, but ever, Every day, Sarah kept telling me stories about her Vegas trip. Details about the hotel room, about winning money at Blackjack, about the show they saw. All lies, as far as I could tell. I kept waiting for her to come clean, to say something like actually, plans changed and I ended up visiting an old friend in Phoenix. But she never did. A week after she got back, I made a decision.

I told her I needed to talk to her about something important. I had photos of the credit card charges and asked her about them. She tried to explain it first, saying there must be some mistake, that maybe someone had stolen her card information. But when I pointed out that the charges were for amounts that made sense for meals and activities, and that there were no fraud alerts, she finally broke down. She admitted she had gone to Phoenix to see Jake.

Not just to see him, but because he had been texting her for months, saying he had made a mistake letting her go, asking her to give him another chance. The Vegas story was a cover because she knew I wouldn't be okay with her visiting an ex-boyfriend. She swore nothing physical happened, that she just needed closure, that she realized during the trip that she definitely wanted to be with me. I sat there listening to her explain how she had lied to me for months, created a fake story involving her sister and friends, and spent four days with her ex-boyfriend while I was at home planning our future and renovating a house to surprise her. I felt like such an idiot. But here's the thing, read it, I couldn't get past the

lying. Looking me in the eye every day for weeks and lying about where she had been and what she had done. I told Sarah I needed time to think, and I moved into the house that night. I've been living here for three days now, sleeping on an air mattress in what was supposed to be our master bedroom, eating takeout in the kitchen I had designed. The wedding is supposed to be in six weeks. I've cancelled the venue and the catering, but I haven't told anyone else yet. Sarah has been texting me constantly, asking if we can talk, saying she wants to see the house, promising that nothing happened with Jake and that she wants to marry me.

I keep walking through these beautiful rooms that I created for us and wondering if I'm throwing away something good because I can't get over being lied to, or if I'm finally standing up for myself after being played for a fool. What do you think? Reddit. Ida for leaving my fiancé after finding out she lied to me. Update 1. Well Reddit, it's been about 10 days since my original post. Thank you to everyone who commented. Reading through all your responses was like having a few thousand therapists weigh in on my situation, which was both helpful and overwhelming. The consensus seemed to be that I wasn't the asshole for being upset about Sarah's lies, but that secretly buying a house without discussing it with my partner was also pretty

problematic. Fair enough. Several of you pointed out that we both kept major secrets from each other, which is probably not ideal foundation behavior for a marriage. Point taken. A lot of you asked for more details about the house and the renovation, so here's an update on that front. The contractor finished everything three days after my original post. This house is absolutely beautiful. I know I'm biased because I design most of it, but walking through the completed renovation feels like being inside one of those home design magazines Sarah used to leave around our apartment. The kitchen has these perfect white subway tiles with dark grout, quartz countertops that look like marble and this amazing island with enough space for bar stools. The master

bathroom has a clawfoot tub that I found at an architectural salvage place, and the shower has those rainfall shower. Living alone in this house is the strangest experience of my life. Based on Reddit's advice, I decided I needed to have a proper conversation with Sarah about everything. Several of you pointed out that my behavior was also pretty extreme and that maybe we both needed to be honest about our communication problems. Sarah had been texting me multiple times a day since I moved out, asking to talk, apologizing, begging me to reconsider the wedding. I finally texted her back and asked her to come see the house. I figured if we were going to have a serious conversation about our future, we might as well do it in the place that had become the center of all this drama.

She came over two days after the renovation was completed. Reddit, I have never seen someone's face go through so many emotions in such a short period of time. When I opened the front door and she saw the restored entryway with the original light fixture I had rewired, she gasped. When I walked her into the kitchen and she saw the exact tile and countertop combination she had pinned on Pinterest dozens of times, she started crying. Basically you get the picture. But then we had to talk about the actual problems, and that's where things got complicated. Sarah kept focusing on how incredible the house was, how she couldn't believe I had done all this for her, how sorry she was that her stupid decision had ruined everything. I kept trying to redirect the conversation to the lying part because several of you had pointed out that the vaguest deception involved a lot of dishonesty, not just one impulsive mistake.

Here's what I learned during the conversation that I hadn't known before. Sarah's relationship with Jake had ended badly. He had cheated on her with a coworker, and when she found out, he had convinced her that it was somehow her fault for not being adventurous enough or supportive enough of his career goals. Sarah said she had spent months in therapy after their breakup working through why she had believed his manipulation and had stayed with him for months after discovering the cheating. When Jake started texting her again earlier this year, he was apparently using a lot of the same language that had worked on her before, telling her she was the only person who really understood him, that he had made mistakes but had grown as a person, that she was too good for whoever she was with now. Sarah said she knew it was manipulative, but she also felt like she needed to face him one more time to prove to herself that she was stronger now and wouldn't fall for his tactics again. I asked her why she couldn't just tell me that, and she said she was afraid I would either forbid her from going, which would make her feel controlled, or that I would want to come with her, which would make the whole closure thing impossible. She thought if she could just go, confirmed that she was over him, and come back, it would be better for everyone.

Obviously, that's not how it worked out. According to Sarah, Jake spent the entire four days trying to convince her to leave me and move to Phoenix with him. He had apparently broken up with whoever he was dating and had been planning this reconciliation attempt for months. Sarah said she realized pretty quickly that he hadn't changed at all and that she had no interest in being with him, but she also felt like she had to see the trip through to be completely sure. I don't know what to do with this information. On one hand, it makes me understand why she felt like she couldn't tell me the truth up front. On the other hand, she still lied to me for months, involved other people in her lies, and put me in a position where I found out through credit card charges rather than honest communication.

Several of you asked about couples therapy, which Sarah brought up during our conversation. She wants us to go together to work through what happened and figure out if we can rebuild trust. She also wants to move into the house together and postpone the wedding until we've worked through everything. Here's where I'm stuck, living in this house alone is starting to mess with my head. I designed every detail thinking about Sarah, the kitchen layout based on how she cooks, the bedroom windows position so she'd get the morning light she loves. Being surrounded by all these choices I made for us while trying to decide whether to trust her again is weirdly psychological torture. But I also keep thinking about what several of you said about how both of us kept major secrets.

I didn't tell Sarah I was buying a house because I wanted to surprise her, but also because I was afraid she might think it was too much or too fast or too expensive. She didn't tell me about Jake because she wanted closure but was afraid I'd react badly. We both made decisions to protect the other person from information we thought might upset them, and we both ended up lying in creating bigger problems. Some of you suggested I should sell the house and start over somewhere else, but the real estate agent says that even though I've increased the value significantly with the renovation, selling immediately would mean losing money on realtor fees and transaction costs. Plus, I actually love living here, even though it's lonely. Other people said I should keep the house and find someone new to share it with, which feels both appealing and terrifying.

The idea of dating other people while living in a house I designed for Sarah seems weird and potentially. potentially unfair to whoever I'd meet next. A few of you asked about Jake and what happened with him. According to Sarah, he did not take her rejection well and has been texting her since she got back, trying to convince her to change her mind in telling her she's making a huge mistake. Sarah showed me some of the texts, and they're pretty manipulative and gross. She's blocked his number now, but apparently he's also reached out to some of their friends to try to get them to talk to her. So that's where things stand. read it. Sarah wants to go to couples therapy and move into the house together. I'm living

alone in a beautiful house. Our wedding is supposed to be in few weeks, but the venue and catering are cancelled, and I haven't figured out what to tell our families yet. What do you think? Should I try therapy and see if we can work through this? Should I cut my losses and figure out how to move forward without her? Also, several people asked about the financial aspects. The The house is worth approximately $480,000 now according to the contractor and real estate agent, so I'm not underwater on the investment. But that doesn't help with the emotional side of having spent months planning a surprise for someone who was lying to me the entire time.

Thanks for listening, Reddit. This situation is Messier than I expected, and your perspectives have been genuinely helpful in sorting through everything. Update 2 Hey Reddit, it's been about three weeks since my last update. and I honestly don't know if my life is getting better or worse. Thank you again to everyone who weighed in on Update 1. The consensus seemed to be that I should try couples therapy before making any permanent

decisions, which is what I decided to do. Sarah and I have been to four therapy sessions together, and individual sessions as well. Here's what I've learned about myself through therapy that I probably should have realized earlier. I have a pattern of trying to solve relationship problems by doing grand gestures instead of having difficult conversations. The house thing wasn't just about wanting to surprise Sarah, it was also about avoiding a conversation about whether we were ready to buy property together, whether we agreed on finances, what kind of future we actually wanted. The therapist pointed out that I spent more time researching subway tile patterns than I spent

discussing long-term goals with my fiancé, which is a pretty damning way to put it. Sarah has been doing her own work around why she felt like she couldn't tell me about Jake, and apparently it goes deeper than just one enclosure. She's been struggling with feeling like she lost herself in our relationship, like she became the version of herself that she thought I wanted instead of figuring out who she actually was. The Jake situation was partially about proving to herself that she could make her own decisions, even bad ones, without my input or approval. This is all very mature and therapeutic, but read it, I'm not sure it's helping with the actual trust issues. Every time Sarah tells me about something that happened during

her day, I find myself wondering if she's telling me the whole truth or if there are details she's editing out to avoid conflict. Every time she says she's going somewhere, I have this automatic mental check where I think about whether her story makes complete sense. I hate that I'm doing this, but I can't seem to stop. The therapist says this is normal after a betrayal and that it will take time to rebuild trust, but she's also been pretty direct about the fact that some relationships don't recover from this kind of thing. She asked us both to really think about whether we want to do the work to fix this or if we're just trying to avoid the pain of breaking up. Meanwhile, living in the house has gotten complicated in a different way. I've been

staying here alone for over a month now, and I've started to feel genuinely attached to it as my space. I've got my routine, my way of organizing things, my favorite spots for working and reading. When Sarah comes over for our therapy homework assignments, it feels like having a guest in my house rather than sharing space with my partner. But the weirdest part is how much I love this place. Remember how I said I designed everything thinking about Sarah? Well, it turns out I also designed it thinking about the version of myself that I wanted to be. I've been becoming that person, and I'm not sure I want to give it up. Sarah has been asking to move in with me so we can work on things together,

but I keep finding excuses to delay it. Our therapist called me out on this, saying that I seemed to be more committed to preserving my independence than to rebuilding our relationship. She's not wrong. There's also been some practical drama that I didn't expect. Sarah and I had sent wedding invitations to about 150 people before everything blew up. When I cancelled the venue and catering, I thought I was being responsible by doing it quickly,

but I didn't think about the fact that we'd eventually have to tell people why. Sarah's parents called me two weeks ago asking about wedding details, and I had to explain that we'd postponed everything. They were obviously confused and concerned, and I ended up giving them a very edited version of what happened, that Sarah and I were working through some communication issues and wanted to make sure we were in a good place before getting married. My parents, on the other hand, got the full story because I needed to talk to someone and they've always been pretty direct with advice. My mom's reaction was basically that she was proud of me for buying the house but thought both Sarah and I were idiots for keeping such secrets from each other.

My dad wanted to know if I needed help with something, which was sweet but also made me realize that they're probably wondering if their son has lost his mind. The most awkward part has been dealing with friends who were supposed to be in the wedding. Sarah's maid of honor Emma, her sister, has been texting me asking if there's anything she can do to help fix things. My best man keeps asking if I want to hang out, and I can tell he wants to know what's going on but doesn't want to pry. I feel like I'm letting everyone down by not having a clear answer about what's happening with my relationship. Reddit, I know a lot of you have been through breakups and rebuilding trust after betrayal. How do you know if you're working toward fixing something worth saving, or if you're just a voice, avoiding the inevitable.