Reddit Stories - JOBLESS spouse PLEADED with me to start a family while I COVERED all...

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

Summary: A jobless spouse pleads for a family while the other partner bears all financial responsibilities. This situation raises questions about relationship dynamics, support, and the balance of responsibilities. The emotional strain and differing priorities create tension, leading to a critical decision point for both partners in their future together.

I hope you enjoy this story. Jobless spouse pleaded with me to start a family while I covered all our expenses and he spent the entire day gaming, then on my delivery day he left for A. College party and ignored my 25 calls, so his mom had to drive me to the hospital instead. Last week, I brought my beautiful son into the world, and while I wish I could say the whole experience was magical, the truth is that labor was absolutely brutal. I had read countless books, articles, and personal stories during my pregnancy, trying to prepare myself for what was to come, but nothing absolutely nothing could have readied me for the amount of

pain I went through. It was unbearable, unlike anything I had ever experienced before. The contractions came in waves, each one more intense than the last, and I genuinely felt like my body was being torn apart. I had heard stories about how childbirth could be painful, but living through it was something else entirely. I remember gripping the hospital bed so hard my knuckles turned white, wishing for it all to be over. And even though I knew that this pain was bringing my son into the world, that knowledge didn't make it any easier at the moment.

As if the excruciating pain wasn't bad enough, what made it even worse was that my husband, Jake, wasn't there by my side to comfort me. He wasn't there to hold my hand, to whisper words of encouragement, or to help me breathe through the contractions. I felt so alone in that delivery room, surrounded by nurses and doctors, but missing the one person who should have been there the most. To give some context, Jake and I have been married for three years now. We met at a grocery store, of all places, when he first saw me and decided to pursue me.

At first, I wasn't entirely sure about him. We went on a few dates, and while he was nice, I wasn't completely convinced that he was the for me. But what changed my mind was his sincerity he never gave up on me, and there was something so genuine about the way he cared. Growing up, my life was far from perfect. I was raised in a dysfunctional household, where stability was something I could only dream of. My parents had a very toxic relationship, and that instability left a deep impact on me. Because of that, I've always longed for a sense of security, for someone who would make me feel safe and grounded. In the beginning, gave me that. He was steady, reliable, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I had

someone I could truly depend on. We both eventually moved and together and handled our finances separately. It just made sense at the time we both had our own jobs, our own responsibilities, and we wanted to maintain a sense of independence even while living together. When he eventually proposed to me, I was caught off guard. I hadn't been expecting it, but after thinking it through, I convinced myself that marrying him was the right decision. Up until last year, I never had any reason to doubt that choice. He was a good husband supportive, kind, and always there when I needed him. I felt like I had made the right call in choosing him as my life partner.

But everything changed late last year when Jake lost his job. That moment was the turning point for us, the moment when everything started to fall apart. If there's one piece of advice I could give to any woman thinking about me, marriage, it's this, do not marry a man unless you've seen how he handles himself at his absolute lowest. If I had known how Jake would react to adversity, how he would change when faced with failure, would have never married him. Losing his job turned him into someone I barely recognized. At first, I tried to be understanding. Losing a job is hard on anyone, and I knew he was feeling lost, insecure, maybe even ashamed. But instead of using that time to regroup and find a new

opportunity, he let his resentment build. I had been working hard at my own job, and ironically, just a few weeks after he became unemployed, I got a promotion. Instead of being happy for me, he started being bitter. It was like my success became a reminder of his failure, and that made him angry. Then, the trust issue started. Suddenly, everything I did was suspect. If I went out with my friends or spent extra time with my coworkers, he would accuse me of neglecting him or worse, of cheating. I had never once given him a reason to doubt me, never done anything even remotely questionable, but that didn't stop him from becoming paranoid. He started going through my phone when I wasn't looking, checking my messages, scrolling through my social

media. He even went through my laptop a few times. Honestly, I never stopped him. It's because I didn't have anything to hide, and I thought maybe if I let him see that, he'd calm down. But no matter how much I tried to prove my loyalty, his insecurities only grew. I tried my best to support Jake during this difficult time. I encouraged him to keep applying for jobs, sending him listings and even helping him tweak his resume. He did apply, but the constant stream of rejections only seemed to make things worse. Each rejection chipped away at his confidence, and I could see how it was affecting him. Instead of pushing through, he withdrew. He stopped taking care of himself he wouldn't shave, barely changed out of his pajamas, and most days, he didn't even bother

to shower. At first, he would at least help around the house in small ways doing the dishes, taking out the trash, or making the bed. But after a while, even that stopped. His entire day revolved around playing video games and watching porn. That was his only escape. I would come home exhausted from work, only to find him exactly where I had left him in the morning on the couch, controller and hand, as glued to the screen. The apartment was a mess, the sink overflowing with dirty dishes, laundry piling up, and all of it fell on me to handle. If I ever asked him to help out, he would sigh and tell me he had a lot on his mind and that he just wanted to relax. But what about me? I was drowning working full-time, managing our entire household,

paying all the bills and yet, somehow, I was supposed to just accept that he needed to relax. I was exhausted, mentally and physically. I felt like I was carrying the weight of two people while he was checked out from reality. I kept hoping things would get better, that he would snap out of it, but instead, things took a completely unexpected turn. Then, out of nowhere, to make things worse, Jake started bringing up the idea of expanding our family. He wanted us to actively try for a baby.

He became fixated on the idea, constantly bringing it up in conversations, telling me how much he wanted to become a father. And while I had always dreamed of us becoming parents one day, I knew this just wasn't the right time. I needed him to get back on his feet first, to secure a stable job, to show me that he was capable of being a responsible partner again. But every time I tried to explain that, he would push back, insisting that time was running fast and that we shouldn't keep delaying this.

He even started using my age against me, reminding me that my biological clock was ticking. He tried to convince me that even if he couldn't find a well-paying job, he would take anything even something low-paying just to bring in some money. But deep down, I knew this wasn't just about money. It was about responsibility, about maturity, about emotional stability, and right now, Jake had none of those things. How could we bring a child into this world when he couldn't even take care of himself? Then, nine months ago, I found out I was pregnant.

I was extremely shocked as I had always been careful or at least I thought we were. But somehow, it happened. Jake, on the other hand, was ecstatic. The moment I told him, his entire mood shifted, he couldn't stop smiling and immediately started calling family members to share the news. He was telling everyone how excited he was to be a father, how this was the best thing to ever happen to him. Seeing his enthusiasm, I let myself believe maybe this was the push he needed.

Maybe this baby would motivate him to step up, to take charge of his life again, to become the man I had once fallen in love with. But as the months went by, I realized nothing had changed. Absolutely nothing. Jake still didn't get a job. He still spent his days playing video games and avoiding responsibilities. And every time I reminded him of his promise how he said he'd find any job just to contribute, he would get irritated and dismiss me. He insisted that he wasn't just going to settle for any job he wanted one like the one he lost. All of this would lead to fights between us, where he would basically gaslight me and make me feel like I was the one being unreasonable for asking him to start earning money. He would go on and on about how I

wasn't being understanding, how I didn't know how hard it was for him to find a decent job with this economy. He kept saying he was waiting for the right opportunity, but that opportunity never came. Months passed, and still, he sat around, doing nothing to improve our situation. Meanwhile, I was pregnant, exhausted, and carrying the weight of everything on my shoulders. I was the one handling all the bills, and still managing most of the household responsibilities while carrying our child. It was exhausting, and I finally put my foot down a few months ago. At this point, Jake was essentially living like a house husband with zero responsibilities. So, I told him outright if he wasn't going to contribute financially, then he needed to at least

take care of things at home. That was the bare minimum. It wasn't fair for me to work all day, come home exhausted, and then still be expected to clean up after him. If he was home all day, he could at least make sure the house didn't look like a disaster zone. Of course, he tried to argue. He told me he didn't know how to manage household chores, as if I was supposed to feel sorry for him. I wasn't buying it. He was a grown man, not a child. I told him straight up you're an adult,

you can learn. And if he really felt incapable, then he could dip into his own emergency funds and hire a maid, because I was done doing everything on my own. Begrudgingly, he agreed. So, over the last few months, he did take on more household chores, though it was clear he wasn't happy about it. And to be fair, he wasn't great at it either. He has messed up the laundry more times than I can count, mixing whites with colors, shrinking clothes, or using way too much detergent. I have to constantly remind him to load the dishwasher, and even then, he sometimes forgets. He keeps telling me how doing housework makes him feel emasculated and that this is humiliating for him. He is so self-conscious about it that he has begged me not to tell anyone

as he keeps saying that it makes him feel like a loser to work at home. Last week was my due date the moment I had been anxiously waiting for, but also dreading because I knew I would need all the support I could get. I had told Jake well in advance that he needed to be there for me. It wasn't a request, it was common sense. I was about to give birth to our child, and I needed him by my side. But out of nowhere, just days before, Jake dropped a bombshell. He told me he had plans to attend a college party hosted by one of his former classmates, where

all his old batchmates would be gathering. At first, I thought he was joking. A college party? When our baby could come at any moment. But no, he was serious. He said he hadn't seen his college friends in so long and that he really wanted to go, even just for a few hours. I told him straight up that I needed him with me here.

What if my water breaks? who's going to drive me. But he begged me to let him go. He swore up and down that he would keep his phone on him at all times and answer immediately if I needed anything. To make me feel better about it, he even called his mother to come stay with me in case I went into labor while he was out. And then he made me a promise if my water broke, he would leave right away and meet me at the hospital. Well, guess what? Not even three hours later, my water actually broke. Panic set in immediately. My heart was racing, my body was shaking, and I felt a rush of fear consume me.

This was it. The baby was coming. I frantically started calling Jake, expecting him to pick up right away like he had promised. But he didn't. His phone went straight to voicemail. I called again. Voice mail. I texted him.

No response. I called. again, over and over, leaving desperate messages telling him the baby was coming and that he needed to meet me at the hospital ASAP. Still nothing. I was terrified. This was supposed to be one of the most important moments of our lives, and the one person who was supposed to be by my side wasn't answering. Thankfully, my mother-in-law stayed calm and helped me into the car. She patiently drove me to the hospital while I sat there, clutching my stomach, trying to breathe through the pain, still calling Jake over and over again. But he never picked up. Not once. I ended up

giving birth to our son without him. Instead of my husband, it was my mother-in-law who held my hand, who reassured me when I was sobbing from the pain, who told me I was strong and that I could do this. She was as furious at Jake as I was. How could he not be there? How could he ignore all my calls. Where the hell was he? Anyways, that entire night, Jake was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until the early hours of the morning long after I had given birth that Jake finally saw my messages and rushed to the hospital acting like he was very concerned about me. You would expect that under the circumstances, his first words to me would be at least an apology, that he would at least try to explain himself, try to show some remorse. But no. Instead,

he just kept repeating to me when I asked for an explanation. that he had lost track of time. I stared at him in disbelief. Lost track of time? As if I had just asked him why he was late to a dinner party instead of why he had missed the birth of his child. I was beyond furious. I felt like my blood was boiling, like I could explode at any moment. And the look on his face? Pure shock. He looked at me like I was the one being unfair by yelling at him, like I was overreacting. I pointed at my phone, my 25 missed calls to him, my 50-plus texts all of them sent in panic, fear, desperation and asked him how the hell he could have ignored all of that. Did he not care? Did he not realize how terrifying it was to go through labor alone?

And that's when Jake admitted it. He had put his phone on Do Not Disturb and tried to justify it saying that for months he had been depressed but that seeing his college friends, he was finally so happy. He never even checked his phone, never even considered that I might actually go into labor, because in his mind, we still had time. He kept insisting that it wasn't a big deal anyways, that his mother was there to take care of me, that he just wanted to have one evening without distractions, and that it wasn't a crime to catch up with his old friends. As if what he had done was some small mistake instead of abandoning me when I needed him the most. I couldn't believe the audacity he had to justify his wrong actions and not even apologize. He clearly had made a

choice. He had chosen a party over me, over our child. And now he expected me to just brush it off. After this, we fought hard. And ever since then, I have refused to let him stay with me or see our son. I asked him to go and stay with his mother for a few days as I just can't stand seeing his face. my mother-in-law is pissed at him too. She has barely spoken to him since that night, and I know she is just as disappointed in him as I am. But Jake? He still doesn't get it. He still thinks I'm the one overreacting. He keeps telling me that both me and his mom are being too angry at him, that all he did was enjoy a party, and that I need to just forgive him. He swears his actions were harmless and that I should let him see his son. Ida.

Update one, okay, first of all, now that I've had time to really think about everything, I can't ignore the possibility that maybe Jake tampered with the condoms or my birth control to get me pregnant on purpose. I admit that I haven't even considered this, but with some of your comments, the more I reflect on our situation, the more it makes sense. Jake clearly wanted to baby trap. He has been jobless for a while now, and during that time, I've been fully supporting him. He knows how good he has it with me he doesn't have to work, doesn't have to pay bills, barely does chores, and yet still gets to live a comfortable life because I take care of everything. It wouldn't be far-fetched to think that maybe he

wanted me pregnant so I wouldn't even think about leaving him. A baby would mean that I'd be tied to him forever. And if that really is the case, I don't even know what to say. It makes me feel sick. But that's not the only reason I can't forgive him. He also missed the birth of our child. He was the one who wanted to be a father so badly, so why wasn't he there for us when we needed him the most? That alone is heartbreaking enough. I also have this gut feeling that Jake is hiding something from me. He keeps repeating that he just got distracted at the party and lost track of time. But it doesn't sit right with me. Something feels off. Jake promised me that he would pick up my calls no matter what. Even when he's drunk, he always answers my calls.

So what was different this time? What was so important, so distracting, that he couldn't even glance at his phone for hours while I was in labor? And then there's the other thing the thing that's been gnawing at me ever since I found out about that party. His ex was also there. This woman was supposedly the love of his life before she cheated on him and left him for someone else.

But that night, she was at the party. I found out after I checked out some of the photos that were posted by Jake's friends online. I stalked the ex and she is apparently divorced now. And I know, for a fact, that Jake still holds a candle for her. I have always felt like he has truly moved on from her. He never outright says it, but I can tell. I have seen it in the way he talks about her, in the way he brings her up randomly, in the way he acts whenever her name comes up.

I keep trying to push these thoughts away, telling myself that maybe it's just my hormones making me emotional and paranoid. But deep down, I can't shake this awful feeling that something happened that night. Update 2. Okay, I knew it. I knew something was off. I knew he was hiding something from me. And now, after all my suspicions, after all the gut-wrenching doubt I finally have the truth. Jake cheated on me. That night, while I was alone, in labor, terrified, and in pain, he wasn't just drinking with his friends. He was with her. He was with his beloved ex.

And just like I had suspected, they made out. The reason he put his phone on Do Not Disturb wasn't just so he could have fun with his friends. It was so he could have a distraction-free evening with her. He clearly wanted no texts from his heavily pregnant wife. No calls from the woman carrying his child. No reminders that he had a family waiting for him. him. Because in that moment, he just didn't care. All this time, whenever I have tried to confront Jake about that night, he would scoff and lie to my face. I was just out with my friends,

he would say, You're overthinking, babe. You always do this. Why are you making such a big deal out of this? He made me feel like I was crazy. He made it seem like I was just an insecure, hormonal woman looking for problems where there were none. But I refused to let it go. I trusted my instincts and kept pressing him for the truth and he finally cracked. If I hadn't kept at it, he would have never told me. I feel disgusted. I feel angry beyond words. Even after admitting that he cheated on me while I was giving birth to his child, he still refuses to take full responsibility. He keeps insisting that it was just a kiss between them and nothing more. But how can I believe anything he says?

Why should I believe him? He already lied to me once. What else is he lying about? Also, to make matters worse, Jake basically blames me for everything. That's right. He keeps telling me that our marriage has been unhappy and that he just wanted to feel good for once. He says seeing his ex brought back old feelings where he felt like a man taking care of her and

how living with me has made him resent me over time. He has insisted that he doesn't regret what he did. While I was bringing our baby into the world, his father, my husband, was kissing another woman. I feel like my whole marriage has been a lie. And now? I can finally say this with absolute certainty our marriage is over. There is no coming back from this. No amount of excuses, no empty promises can undo what he did.

The betrayal, the lies, the disrespect, it's all too much. And I refused to let a man who abandoned me in my most vulnerable moment and cheated on me while I was giving birth to our child have any place in my life. And you know what? I'm not just going to walk away. I'm going to make him pay for what he's done to me. I did tell my in-laws about how Jack cheated on me and they are disgusted with him too. Mother-in-law has outright told him that he needs to move out and find a place of his own as she can't stand to keep providing for a jobless, cheating, pathetic excuse of a man who broke up his own family. She's just as disgusted with him as I am. As I write this, I am heartbroken. Why did he do this to us? Why did he take advantage of me like

this? For his actions, he now has nothing. No wife. No home. No family. I gave him everything over the years. I supported him when he had nothing. I carried this entire relationship on my back while he sat around doing nothing. And this is how he repaid me? By cheating? By telling me he doesn't regret it? He thought I'd always be there, but I'd never leave. Well, he was wrong. He's going to learn exactly what he lost. And I hope, for the rest of his pathetic life, he regrets the choice he made. Update 3, it's been a while since I last updated, and honestly, that's because I've just been so busy with life. But now, I finally have some time to sit down and share where things stand.

First and foremost, my son and I are doing just fine. In fact, we're more than fine. I've moved into a new place, a fresh start just for the two of us. It hasn't been easy, but I can honestly say that I feel lighter now that I'm free from the toxicity that was my marriage. The divorce is final. Yes, you read that right, my ex and I are officially divorced. The moment I signed those papers, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

I had spent so much time carrying the weight of a relationship that was one-sided, exhausting, and ultimately heartbreaking but now, I'm free. He signed away his custody. Now, this part? It shattered me at first, but now, I realize it's for the best. My ex has completely abandoned our child. He signed away full custody to me because get this his first. his ex is now pregnant with his child. Yep. The same ex he cheated on me with? He's getting

back with her because she's carrying his baby. Remember how he swore they never slept together and that it was just a kiss? I'm so glad I never believed his lies. If I had stayed, I'd be blindsided right now by this news. At first, I couldn't even process when he decided to give up our son's custodial rights to me. How does a person just walk away from their own flesh and blood like that? How does he sleep at night knowing that he chose to abandon his first child just because he's having another with someone else? But then I realized this is who he is. He is a selfish, weak, irresponsible man who never deserve to be a father in the first place. And if he's willing to cut ties with his own child so easily, then I'd rather raise my son

without him. My baby deserves so much better than a father who sees him as nothing more than an inconvenience. But don't worry, he's still paying. Even though he wants to pretend our son doesn't exist, I made damn sure that he continues to pay child support every single month. He may have walked away from his responsibilities as a father, but he sure as hell isn't walking away from his financial obligation to the child he helped bring into this world. So, in the end, I won. I'm now building a new life for myself and my son won that is free of toxicity, heartbreak, and disappointment. And I know that eventually we're going to be okay. As much as it breaks my heart for my son, I also know, deep down, that we are going to be okay.

That man my ex was nothing but a deadbeat and a nuisance. He was never going to be a real father, and honestly, I'd rather raise my son alone than have him grow up watching a man like that and thinking it's normal. My son deserves better. And I will make sure he becomes a better man than his father ever was. One silver lining in all of this? My ex-mother-in-law and ex-father-in-law have continued to support me, even after the divorce. They have refused to turn their backs on their grandson and have my back. They babysit my son from time to time, and their love for him is genuine something I will always be grateful for. At least I know that my son will still have loving grandparents who will be there for him, even if his own father walked away.