Reddit Stories - JOURNEYING Abroad_ UNVEILING Love Amidst ANXIETY_

Episode Date: June 7, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #loveabroad #journeying #unveiling #anxiety #relationshipsSummary: A tale of journeying abroad and unveiling love amidst anxiety. Follow a couple navigating cultural differences, language barriers, and personal insecurities. Through challenges and growth, they discover the true meaning of love and connection in unfamiliar territory.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, loveabroad, journeying, unveiling, anxiety, relationships, culturaldifferences, languagebarriers, personalinsecurities, challenges, growth, truemeaning, love, connection, unfamiliarterritoryBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

traveled overseas to visit my internet partner following a year of regular conversations, but she experienced anxiety episodes upon our meeting and left me to stay by myself in my lodging room. Hours each day until I had to leave. So I, 29M, need to get this off my chest because I honestly don't know what to think anymore. For background, a couple years ago I met this girl, 29F, through some online friends in a Discord server for a game we both played. We got along super well right away, same interests, same sense of humor, and I was really impressed with how driven she is in her career.

She works in something tech-related, don't want to be too specific, and is really passionate about it, always talking about projects and stuff. We started talking more frequently, and it became a daily thing where we'd chat for hours. Sometimes we'd be in voice chat with other people, but then everyone else would drop off and we'd just keep talking until like 3A. Honestly, it felt different than other online friendships I'd had. There was this one night where we were talking about movies we liked, and we realized we had almost identical taste. Started watching stuff together using one of those sync websites. Early last year things took a turn when she told me she had feelings for me.

We were on a video call and she just kind of blurted it out. Said she'd been feeling that way for a while but was scared to say anything because of the distance. I wasn't totally surprised since we'd been flirting a bit, and I told her I was interested too. We started spending even more time together online. She'd even sometimes prop up her phone while she was cooking or something so we could just hang out virtually. I should have been more clear about what I needed before considering us official, but I was caught up in the moment. It's hard to explain but there was this energy between us that felt really special, even through a screen. and honestly it had been a while since I'd connected with someone like that.

My dating life where I live has been pretty shit. She pretty quickly started referring to me as her boyfriend when talking to people in her life. She'd tell me stories about how she mentioned me to her co-workers or how her mom was asking about me. Like my boyfriend said the funniest thing today or my boyfriend and I are planning to watch this movie this weekend. It was flattering, but in my mind I always thought we needed to meet it. in person before making things official. I never really corrected her, though, which was probably a mistake. I guess I didn't want to hurt her feelings and figured we'd meet soon enough anyway. We talked about meeting up a few times. She has pretty bad anxiety issues and some health problems.

Some kind of chronic things she takes meds for doesn't really impact her daily life but makes traveling tough, so we agreed it made more sense for me to go up to Canada to see her instead of her coming down to the U.S. Plus with all the political shit going on right now, crossing the border isn't exactly stress-free. I'm not going to get into politics here, but it's just a fact that border crossing is more complicated these days. Around Christmas, I decided to just go for it

and book a trip to go see her. I spent way more than I should have on flights in a hotel, but I figured it would be worth it. The flights alone were like $700 because of the short notice, and then the hotel was another $600 for three nights. I could barely afford it honestly, but I've been saving for a while and thought this was important. We'd been talking for so long,

and I was pretty excited about finally meeting her in person. We talked about the trip almost every day leading up to it. She seemed excited too, although she mentioned being nervous about her anxiety acting up. She told me she'd been talking to her therapist about strategies for managing her anxiety when we met. I thought that was a good sign, she was taking steps to make sure the visit would go well. She even made a list of places she wanted to show me in her city.

We talked about going to this museum she loves, and a couple of restaurants she thought I'd like. So I had every reason to think she was looking forward to this as much as I was. Well, that trip just happened this past weekend, and I'm still processing everything. I'm actually typing this from my hotel room where I've spent most of my freaking time here. Like, I have barely seen the city I flew all this way to visit. The trip started off. Not great. I landed and took a 40-minute Uber to my hotel.

Cost me like $60 because of course everything here is expensive. I was nervous too, I've only been to Canada a handful of times, don't know this city at all, and was about to meet someone I'd only seen through a scream. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole Uber ride. I kept texting her updates on where I was, and she was responding, but her messages seemed short and tense. I tried to be understanding, I was nervous too, so I figured she must be feeling it even more with her anxiety issues.

I figured once I got to the hotel, she'd be ready to meet up. She only lives like five minutes from where I'm staying. That was part of why I chose that hotel, even though it was pricier than some others, she had mentioned it would be easier for her if I stayed somewhere close by. I checked in, freshened up a bit, and messaged her that I was ready whenever she was. Then I waited. Instead of coming over, she texted me saying her anxiety was really bad and she needed more time. I tried to be understanding, I knew her anxiety was a real issue.

But it ended up taking her another two hours to work up the time. courage to come see me. I was just sitting in my hotel room, occasionally looking out the window, wondering if this whole trip was a mistake. I tried watching TV but couldn't focus on anything. I almost fell asleep at one point because my flight had been so early. When she finally showed up, she was literally shaking and crying, like full on sobbing. I went down to the lobby to meet her and at first it was just, awkward. We hugged. and I could feel her trembling. People in the lobby were staring at us, which made everything even more uncomfortable. I suggested we'd go up to my room where she could calm down in private,

and she nodded. Once we were in my room, she sat on the edge of the bed and just cried for like ten minutes straight. I didn't know what to do except sit next to her and occasionally pat her back. I asked if she wanted some water, and she nodded, so I got her some from the bathroom sink. After a while, she seemed to calm down a bit and apologized about 20 times. She kept saying she didn't know why she was so anxious and that she'd been fine until she actually had to come meet me. Eventually she seemed okay enough that we could actually talk. It was stilted at first, nothing like our easy conversations but after about half an hour, she suggested we go to her place. She said she'd feel more comfortable there, and I'd be able to meet her brother too.

She lives with her brother in a small house about a five-minute drive from my hotel. Her brother seemed cool, friendly guy, gamer type. They have a cat too, really cute little black thing that kept trying to sit on my lap. Their place was neat but lived in, pretty much what I expected from our video calls. We just hung out at their place for a while, but she was still really anxious the whole time. She'd occasionally go quiet and I'd catch her just staring at nothing, like she was lost. in thought. Her brother tried to help by carrying the conversation, asking me about my flight and my job and stuff. It was nice of him, but it made me realize I was talking more to him than to her.

She mentioned wanting to drive me around and show me some of the city, but then said she was too nervous to drive. I suggested maybe we could all go, with her brother driving, but she said she was feeling too overwhelmed and maybe tomorrow would be better. Eventually she just called me an Uber to go back to my hotel. First day, total time spent together, maybe three to four hours max, and most of that was with her brother there too. I got back to my hotel room around nine and just crashed. I was exhausted from the travel and the emotional roller coaster of the day. Plus I've been up since like 4 a.m. for my flight. I texted her good night and she responded with sleep well, sorry today was rough, tomorrow will be better I promise. I tried to

focus on that promise as I fell asleep. The next day I woke up really early. Jet lag or something, I don't know. It was like 7 a.m. and I had nothing to do. I know she works night so she usually sleeps in, but I was just sitting in my hotel waiting to hear from her. I was hungry but didn't want to go too far in case she messaged me. I ended up getting breakfast at the hotel restaurant, which was overpriced and mediocre. After that I was I just waited. And waited. Watched some TV, scrolled through social media, took a shower, called my mom briefly. For fucking hours later she finally messages me that she's awake but not quite ready to see me because she was still feeling anxious. I asked if there was anything I could

do to help, and she said no, she just needed some time. I suggested maybe we could meet somewhere public instead of her coming to the hotel, thinking that might be less pressure. She said maybe, but she wasn't sure yet. Said she'd let me know in a bit. At this point I was getting pretty frustrated but tried not to show it. I found a drug store within walking distance and decided to pick up some stuff, just to have something to do. Bought some snacks, a travel toothbrush since I'd forgotten mine, and some Tylenol because I had a headache coming on. Mostly I was just killing time. After wandering around the drug store for way longer than necessary, I noticed a little lunch spot nearby. I figured I could grab food for both of us, maybe bringing her something

to eat would be a nice gesture. I got us both sandwiches and headed back to the hotel to drop off my stuff before going to her place. I messaged her that I'd picked up lunch and asked if it was okay to come over now. She replied after about 15 minutes saying, sure, I could come over. So I called an Uber and headed to her place with the food. When I finally got to her place about two hours later, so we're like halfway through day two at this point, she didn't even eat the food I brought. Said she wasn't hungry, but thanked me for thinking of her. I tried not to show my disappointment. Her brother grabbed the other sandwich though, so at least it didn't go to waste.

We sat in their living room for a bit, making small talk. She seemed a little less anxious than the day. day before, but still not completely comfortable. I was just starting to think maybe we could actually do something together when she tells me that her, her brother, and I are going to a get together with a bunch of their friends. I was a bit thrown off since I came all this way to spend time with her, but I figured whatever, it might help her feel more comfortable if other people were around. I asked how long we be there and she said just a few hours. I also asked where it was, and she said it was at her friend's place a little outside the city. I tried to sound

enthusiastic about it, but honestly I was disappointed. This wasn't what I'd pictured for our first real day together. It ended up being about an hour drive to get there. Her brother drove, and she sat in the passenger seat while I was in the back. They talked about people I didn't know and inside jokes I wasn't part of for most of the ride. Occasionally she'd try to explain something to me, but it wasn't the same. I mostly just looked out the window at the scenery, which was actually pretty nice. When we got to her friend's place, there were already like 10 people there. All her friends were actually really nice and welcoming. They all knew about me, apparently she'd been talking about this visit for weeks. She seemed totally fine introducing me to

everyone as her boyfriend. The party was fine, decent food, some drinks, people playing video games and board games. Everyone was friendly and kept coming up to talk to me. Several people told me they were glad to finally meet me after hearing so much about me. One girl even said, she never shuts up about you, which was both flattering and confusing given how little actual time we'd spent together since I arrived. We spent most of the night there, but didn't really talk much to each other, I was constantly being pulled into conversations with her friends, or she was off playing games with someone else. It was weird. I kept trying to catch her eye or stand near her, but somehow we were always in different parts of the room. Around 10 p.m., we finally started

heading back. I figured we'd still have plenty of time to hang out, just the two of us, since she's usually up until three or four in the morning. Maybe we could watch one of those movies we were always talking about, or just sit and talk like we used to online. But then in the car, she's She asks her brother if it's okay for her to take me to my hotel before they go home. Her brother says, sure, and I'm just sitting there in shock. She's too drained to spend any quality time with the guy she calls her boyfriend, who she just met in person, who traveled across the country to see her. I didn't even know what to say, so I just mumbled, sure, that's fine when she looked back at me for confirmation.

The drive back to my hotel was mostly silent. She apologized once for being so weird and said her anxiety had been acting up more than usual lately. I told her it was okay, even though it wasn't really. What else could I say? It's not like I could force her to want to spend time with me. When we got to my hotel, she gave me a quick hug goodbye and said she'd text me in the morning. I went up to my room feeling like absolute shit. Day two, another few hours of barely interacting, and I was starting to think this whole trip was a giant mistake. So I end up back at the hotel room alone, confused as hell. Here I am, by myself, in a foreign country, with my girlfriend just minutes away, and I've barely spent any one-on-one time with her.

I tried watching a movie on my laptop but couldn't focus. Ended up just scrolling through social media mindlessly until like 1 a.m. I didn't want to text her about it right away because I was worried it would make her anxiety worse, but I also didn't know what to do. I was supposed to meet her mom the next evening for dinner, and at that point I felt like I'd met everyone in her life except for my actual girlfriend. So I finally texted her about how I was feeling. I tried to be gentle but honest. Said I understood anxiety was tough but that I was feeling disappointed we hadn't been able to spend much quality time together. mentioned that I'd traveled all this way specifically to see her, and it hurt that she seemed

more comfortable with me around other people than just the two of us. I emphasized that I wasn't upset with her, just confused and a little sad about the situation. It took her about 20 minutes to respond, and when she did, it was a wall of text. She apologized a lot, saying her anxiety was still through the roof and that she wanted to make the trip worth it for me but was just too drained. She tried to reassure me that she was still very interested in me, but said she knew if we were alone together nothing would happen because she's too nervous. Apparently she hasn't been in a relationship for a couple years, and this is all hard for her. She explained that she feels more comfortable with other people around because then

there's less pressure on her to be entertaining or interesting. Said she keeps worrying that I'm judging her or comparing her to how she is online. Also mentioned that she's scared of physical intimacy after so long, and is worried I have expectations she can't meet. I told her I wasn't expecting anything physical or intimate, hell, I've barely even hugged her this trip, and there are a lot of steps between a hug and anything more serious. I just wanted to spend some actual quality time together, talking and hanging out like we do online. Told her I didn't fly all this way for sex, I came to finally meet the person I've been connecting with for all these months.

She seemed relieved by that and promised we would have some time together after meeting her mom. Said her mom was really looking forward to meeting me, and maybe after dinner we could come back to my hotel and just watch a movie or something. That sounded better than nothing, so I agreed to the plan. I had trouble sleeping that night. Kept thinking about the whole situation and wondering if I'd made a huge mistake getting involved with someone with severe anxiety. I know that sounds harsh, and I don't blame her for having mental health issues, that's not her fault. But I started wondering if a long-distance relationship with these kinds

of challenges was something I could handle. Today is my last day here. I leave early tomorrow morning. I feel like this whole trip has been a complete waste of time and money. I wanted to spend time with her, not sit alone in a hotel room for most of my visit. I honestly, thought she would want to be with me every moment possible since our time together is so limited. We've talked about this trip for so long, and I expected it to be so different. I don't know if this relationship can survive after this. Am I overreacting? I get that anxiety is a real thing, but it feels like I've traveled all this way for nothing.

Update, so it's been a few days since I got back, and I figured I should update since a lot of people were asking what happened. Some of you were really harsh in the comments, yes, I understand anxiety is a real condition. No, I'm not some sex-crazed dude who was just trying to hook up, and no, I don't think she was using me or anything like that. Some of the theories you guys came up with were wild. For everyone asking why I didn't just go explore the city on my own, I did a little bit, but it's not really the point. I didn't fly all that way to be a tourist, I went to spend time with her. Anyway, that last day of the trip. I woke up pretty early and made the original post, then just waited nervously for her to message me.

Once again, it took a couple hours before I heard from her, a little afternoon she finally texted. I've been up since around 8, so that was another four hours just sitting in my hotel room, checking my phone every few minutes like some lovesick teenager. She reminded me we had dinner with her mom later that afternoon and said I could Uber over to her place whenever. A bunch of you suggested I should just cancel the dinner plans but I decided to stick it through and see how things went. I mean, I'd already come this far, might as well meet her mom, right? I took a quick shower, got dressed, and headed over to her place. I was a little apprehensive after the previous days, but trying to keep an open mind. When I got there, her brother was out for once, which was a nice change.

She seemed a bit nervous still but definitely better than before. We actually spent some time just watching stuff together. She suggested this show she'd been wanting to watch with me, and we sat on her couch side by side. She seemed to be having a better day anxiety-wise, so we sat close and it was more like the quality time I had been hoping for. She even leaned against me a bit, which was nice. We didn't really do anything physical, her brother came home after a while, but it was definitely better than the previous days. We talked about some of the comments her friends had made about us at the party, and she told

me more about them. It felt closer to our online conversations. Around five, we started getting ready to go meet her mom for dinner. I was a bit nervous about this, meeting the parents is always a big deal, and given how the trip had gone so far, I wasn't sure what to expect. She drove us to the restaurant, and I could tell she was tense again. I tried to keep the conversation light to distract her. The restaurant was this nice little Italian place, her mom was already there when we arrived. She stood up immediately when she saw us and gave her daughter a hug, then turned to me with a

warm smile. I could immediately see where my girlfriend got her looks from, they have the same eyes. Dinner with her mom went surprisingly well. Her mom was easy to talk to, asked me questions about my job and my family without being intrusive. We connected right away, and her mom seemed genuinely excited about me and her daughter being together. Throughout dinner, I noticed my girlfriend seemed more relaxed than I'd seen her the whole trip. She was smiling, adding to the conversation, occasionally touching my arm when she made a point. Her mom gave me a hug when we left, which was a little. was nice and told me I was welcome to visit any time. That felt good, even though I wasn't

sure there would be a next time at that point. After dinner, we went back to her place. Her brother was there, but he mostly stayed in his room, so it felt more private. It was pretty similar to earlier, hanging out, watching stuff, talking. Still not exactly alone time, but it felt more one-on-one than before. Was it what I expected for the last day of this trip? trip. Not really, but it was definitely better than the first couple days. As it got later, I was half expecting her to call me an Uber again, but she actually offered to drive me back herself. That felt like a small victory. On the drive back, we talked about the trip. She apologized again for how it had gone, and I tried to be understanding. I told her I wished we'd had more time

like today, and she agreed, saying maybe next time would be easier since the first meeting was out of the way. When we got to my hotel, she came up to my room with me. She helped me double-check my packing for the early flight, making sure I hadn't forgotten anything in drawers or the bathroom. It was a simple thing, but it felt intimate in a way much of the trip hadn't. As she was about to leave, we ended with a kiss. Not a make-out session or anything. Just a nice, kiss goodbye. It was brief but sweet, and it made me wonder what the trip could have been like if we'd gotten to that point earlier. We texted a bit after she left. I was getting ready for bed since my flight was so early, and she said she wished we'd had more time together. She mentioned

she had bought a frame for a photo of us but realized we hadn't actually taken any good pictures together. The few we had from the weekend were mostly group shots at the party, and didn't really worked for what she wanted. I was pretty disappointed about that and mentioned maybe I should just Uber back to take a proper picture. About 10 minutes went by with no response, and I figured she'd gotten distracted or maybe fallen asleep. Then she suddenly texted telling me to come downstairs. I was confused at first, but she explained she had driven all the way back to the hotel, anxiety be damned, her words, just to take a photo and give me another goodbye kiss. I hurried. I hurried, Downstairs, and sure enough, there she was in the lobby.

We took several pictures together, some selfies and a few we asked the night clerk to take. Then we shared another kiss, longer this time. She hugged me tight and whispered that she was sorry the weekend wasn't what we'd planned, but she was glad I came. That moment, right at the end of the trip, felt the most real and connected of the entire visit. The next morning I woke up super early for my flight. There was a text from her wishing me safe travels that she must have sent right after she got home. The journey back was uneventful, just a lot of time to think about everything that had happened

and what it meant for us going forward. So overall, it wasn't the perfect weekend I'd imagined, but I'm going to stay optimistic about things. I think it was probably a mistake to not make the trip longer, three days isn't really enough time to get comfortable with someone, especially with her anxiety issues. If we'd had a week, maybe the last couple days could have been more like that final evening. We've texted every day since I got back, and it's been good. Back to the easy conversations we had before.

She's been more open about her anxiety and what triggers it, and I've been trying to be supportive without being pushy. She mentioned that her therapist wants to work specifically on her relationship anxiety in their next few sessions, which seems like a positive step. We'll see how things go when she has to decide if she wants to make the trip down here for an event happening sometime this summer. That'll be the real test, I think. If she can't bring herself to visit me, then I'll have to seriously reconsider whether this can work long term. But if she does make the trip, and things go better than they did this time, maybe there's hope for us. To clear up some things from the comments. Yes, she is on medication and sees a therapist, though her time.

current therapist is pretty new. She's been dealing with anxiety for years, and it's not something that's going to just disappear. Normally I wouldn't be into a long-distance relationship, but our interests and personalities align in ways I've rarely found with people where I live. And for everyone saying I'm being stupid or naive, maybe I am. But I believe in giving people second chances, especially when mental health is involved. It's not like she was trying to make the weekend bad. She was clearly struggling with something real and difficult. The question is whether we can find a way forward that works for both of us. Thanks for all the comments and advice on the original post. I'm not sure if I'll update again when the next trip happens in about two to four

months or so, but that's when I'll really know if this can work or not.