Reddit Stories - Lies Betrayals and Confessions Stories ( Over 3 Hour Compilation ) - Episode 101

Episode Date: January 31, 2026

#redditstories #sleep #sleepstories #bedtimestories #fallasleep #Lies #Betrayals #Confessions #StoryCompilation In "Lies Betrayals and Confessions Stories (Over 3 Hour Compilation) - Episode 101," listeners are taken on a journey through gripping narratives filled with deception and emotional revelations. Each story unfolds secrets that challenge trust, making it a perfect listen for those seeking captivating bedtime tales.redditstories, sleepstories, fallasleep, bedtimestories, relaxingconfessions, betrayalstories, confessions, storytime, truthandlies, emotionalnarratives, suspensefultales, captivatingstories, trustissues, storytelling, nighttales, dramaticconfessions, psychologicalthriller, bedtimewhispers, secretstories, narrativejourneyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse declined to pardon me due to a misinterpretation and ended our marriage. Almost a decade later, he discovered the truth and appeared at my residence. I, a 38-year-old woman, finalized the divorce. From my ex-husband Nick, 40M, almost nine years ago. We'd been married for three years and he'd been a good husband, but due to a huge misunderstanding, he left me and then served me with divorce papers a few days later. He didn't even give me a chance to explain and so, he never found out the truth.

I was so hurt by the fact that he decided that he wanted to leave so fast that I didn't contest the divorce either and let him go. I used to be a housewife then. One day, Nick came back home to find my ex-boyfriend Joe, 38M, in the house with me and he turned around and left without a word. The three of us knew each other from college and Joe and I had dated for just three months before I realized I had feelings for Nick. Joe had been visiting to invite me and Nick to his wedding that was going to take place in a few months and that was it. Nothing weird or suspicious was going to happen, I'd never do that to someone else. But Nick just assumed the worst and left without a word.

I tried to call after him and stop him, but he drove away as fast as he could and even blocked me everywhere. so I couldn't get to him and explain what was going on. I didn't even know where he was and spent the next two days sobbing and panicking. Joe had also tried to get through to Nick to explain, but even he'd been blocked. I was devastated but believed that once his anger cooled off, Nick would come back and I'd explain everything to him so that we could resume our normal lives once more. Unfortunately, that didn't happen and a few days later, he filed for divorce. I was devastated by that and didn't know what to do.

I just needed a chance to explain everything to him, but he didn't think I was worthy of it and so, with a heavy heart, I decided not to fight for my marriage anymore and let him go. I didn't contest the divorce. Once the proceeding started, I packed my stuff up and moved in with a friend for a while until I got a job and could afford a place of my own. It took a while, but I got my life back on track and didn't give myself a while. any time to sit around and be depressed about what was happening. I was angry about Nick's behavior and will always be.

I deserved a second chance or at least the chance to explain but even after so many years of being together, he didn't think I deserved it. I felt betrayed and hurt, but I knew I had to look out for myself now. So I got a job and eventually moved into an apartment of my own as well. By then, my divorce had been finalized as well and even though I didn't get much out of of it, I was content. I just wanted to move on with my life and that's what I was doing. I also attended Joe's wedding a month after my own divorce and had a blast reconnecting with my old friends from college. Nick had skipped it, just as I'd expected and most people were shocked to learn that Nick and I had parted ways. All of them had expected us to stay together forever,

as had I but life had other plans. Attending Joe's wedding turned out to be the best damn decision I'd ever made, though. Because there, I met Chris, 40M, the man I'm currently married to and even have a daughter with. We had a conversation at Joe's wedding and I did feel sparks instantly, but I held back since I'd just been through a divorce and wanted to work on myself before I rushed into anything else. I wanted a break from men so I exchanged numbers with him but didn't text for a while. A year later, I was finally in a better place mentally and felt ready to date. As luck would have it, I ran into Chris yet again at a work event since we work in the same field and I finally agreed to go out on a date with him. Two years later, we were getting

married, and another year in, we even had a daughter who's almost five years old now. A lot of time has passed since my divorce with Nick and I'm a brand new person now. So you can imagine my shock when after all this time, Nick shows up at my doorstep out of the blue. That happened if few days ago and I'm still reeling from the shock of it all. I don't know how he found me and neither did I bother to find out later on because I truly couldn't care less. It was the weekend so my husband and I were both at home with our daughter when the bell rang. I was stunned when I saw Nick standing outside with a bouquet of roses and smiling as if nothing had happened. Before I could even process what was happening, he started talking and explained that a few

weeks ago. He'd learned from a friend that Joe was married to a different woman and not me and he'd finally realized that he'd overreacted back then. He said he wanted to give us a second chance and so, he was back here, asking for forgiveness for whatever he'd done. I had no idea what to say to him. I mean it was ridiculous enough that he divorced me over a misunderstanding all those years back without bothering to find out the truth. But now he was back after nine whole years of no contact, believing that he could just talk his way back into my life and get a second chance just like that when he himself had denied me that very second chance. Fat chance of that happening. He kept talking while I silently stared at him, trying to think of what to do next.

I so desperately wanted to shut the door on his face, but that just wouldn't be humiliating enough, so I decided to do something a lot more insulting. I told him to wait right there and went back to the living room where my husband and my daughter were sitting, waiting for me to come back. I didn't have time to explain, so I just lifted my daughter in my arms and told Chris to follow me to the front door. You can imagine what happened after that. Nick was horrified when he saw me walk towards me with my daughter in my arms and my husband behind me. I smiled at him and told him that he was a tad bit too late to ask for a second chance now and asked him to get out. After a second of silence, he turned around, ran to his car without another word, and drove away.

I was really pleased with myself and I finally felt like I got the closure I'd been looking for all those years ago. Once he was gone, I sat Chris down and when I told him that it was Nick and told him what he'd said to me, we ended up having a good laugh over it. He was in over his head if he had really believed that I was just going to take him back, no questions asked, after what he'd done to me nine years ago. I didn't even know why he'd thought it would be a good idea to just spring this surprise on me without doing his own research first. One look at any of my social media accounts would tell him that I was now married and even had a daughter, but I guess he couldn't get through since I have private accounts everywhere. Even then, he could have asked our old friends and tried to find out what I was up to.

Chris believes that he's so self-centered that he must have assumed that I would have waited around for him after he'd left, hoping that he'd come back someday it sounds like a pretty spot on assessment of his character even though Chris has never even had a conversation with Nick. It's been a few days since then and I'd thought that he'd leave me alone after what had happened, but this morning, he sent me a message on Facebook from a new account and said that he was incredibly hurt by what I'd done. He genuinely wanted to apologize to me for what he'd done in the past, but I'd made a mockery out of the whole thing. He still feels sorry for what he did, but he also thinks that I owe him an apology as well for trying to humiliate him. Ida for what I did to Nick. Update one so, I decided not to reply to Nick's message.

He really didn't deserve even an ounce of my sympathy or forgiveness, let alone an apology. My husband was right, he'd definitely just assumed that I'd still be waiting for him and would readily accept him once he was finally ready to come back. He'd always been a self-centered guy and, sadly, I'd overlooked all the red flags before I got married to him. They were always there, he didn't suddenly change overnight, but sadly I was too blinded by my love for him to see him for what he truly was. Once we got together, he'd always make it very awkward and uncomfortable for me to be around any other guy even if we were just friends. He wouldn't say it straight to my face, but he'd taunt me about it later and make a huge deal out of it so I started avoiding my male friends altogether and would only speak to them in Nick's presence and never without them. He also told me to quit my job and be a housewife because his job required him to spend long hours at the office so he wanted our house to be for him when he came back and he said, that he didn't trust anyone else to make sure of that other than me. I was honored back then

so I readily quit my well-paying job to be the perfect housewife for him. And despite all that I gave up for him, he didn't even give me a chance to explain my side. I'd always felt that Nick was especially jealous of Joe, given the fact that he was my first boyfriend in college and I was with him before Nick so he'd be extra possessive of me when it came to Joe. He never had a reason too, though. Since I was always loyal to him and would never even imagine cheating on anyone, but he clearly didn't think that highly of me. After our divorce, I was really torn up and it took me a long time to pull myself together and give love a second chance. A lot of you guys have been saying that I jumped from one relationship into another and maybe

it's true, I don't know. I can't exactly deny it because getting into a relationship just a year after a divorce might be too quick for some people, but I'm glad that I did it. I took that leap of faith and that's why I have the best husband and a beautiful daughter today, so I'd say that I'm pretty content with how my life has turned out. I'm not going to apologize to Nick, but I guess I do owe him a thanks, at the very least since if he hadn't left me then I might still have been stuck in an unhappy marriage. Update 2. Okay, so I found out a couple more things about Nick. Apparently, the reason he hadn't known anything about my life was because he deleted all his social media, and for the past few years, he'd been living in Seoul for work so he lost touch with his old friends from college as well.

He'd moved back just a month ago and had got in touch with a friend of his who wasn't really close with me so he didn't know about my marriage, but he did know about Joe's, which is all that he told Nick and that's how he landed up on my doorstep. It's still bizarre that he chose to approach me even after almost a decade of not being in touch, but whatever, I'm over it now. He hasn't texted me after I ignored his message and I don't think he will either. I also told Joe about what had happened and even he was shocked at the audacity that he had, showing up without any warning and expecting me to just take him back. And even demanding an apology from me because I decided to insult him the same way he'd insulted me. My daughter did ask me who that man was, but I didn't tell her the truth because she doesn't need to know.

I told her he just had the wrong address and that seemed to pacify her so she didn't ask about it further. I don't think I'm ever going to tell her unless she somehow finds out on her own, which feels really unlikely. Update 3, Nick texted me again. After almost a week of no contact. I guess I'd forgotten to block him which was kind of silly on my part, but I'm really busy with work so I'm not beating myself up about it. Coming to the text, he said that he still has a lot of things that he wants to talk about and wants to meet me. He also said that he doesn't mind that I have a husband and a daughter and would still like to give our relationship another shot because he knows that that's what I want as well, deep down. He's insinuating that I'd be down to cheat on my husband with him, basically.

Which is just so ironic because isn't that exactly what he left me for nine years back? I was speechless when I saw that text because it was so disgusting. I couldn't believe that he even had the audacity to send that text to me and thought that I'd entertain it in any way. I warned him to leave me alone and then blocked his number because I sure as hell don't need this man back in my life. It's disgusting, the way he can't see behind himself. I don't understand why he still believes that I have. have any feelings for him at all, apart from hatred, because I think I made it very clear when he came to visit me that I didn't care for him anymore and my family is all that matters to me

now. He should have just taken the hint and left me alone instead of showing me how low he can go and what a creep he is. Ugh, it's making me feel so icky to even speak about this. At least now he's blocked and whatever disgusting message he decides to send me next, I won't have to see it. I'm trying to erase the memory of the first one from my head as well, to be honest. It's just gross. Update 4, it's pretty ridiculous how some of you guys are accusing me of still being into Nick. No, I'm not into him. But I do hate him which, I think, is pretty freaking natural since I was literally married to this guy before he abandoned me.

And of course, I told Chris about that text. I'm not a cheater and never have been so I definitely would share something like that with my husband. It goes without saying that I love him more than anything in the world and I wouldn't do any such thing that would put my marriage in danger. The only reason I'd even open the door to Nick in the first place is that I have a bad habit of not checking who's out there when especially my husband's home and I'm working on it. But that being said, I would never knowingly let Nick back into my life. I don't want him back in my life either so it's sickening that people are accusing me of doing that. I hope this clears things up. Update 5

So Nick dropped by again and I didn't open the door this time without checking who it was first, luckily. My daughter was out with my husband to meet his parents and I was supposed to accompany them but I got caught up with work. When I realized it was Nick standing out there, I told him through the door that he needed to leave and that he wasn't welcome. here anymore. I thought I'd made myself pretty clear when I said that and it meant that he was supposed to leave, but he refused to listen. He told me that he was in town just for a couple more weeks and then he'd be in another country. I was confused as to why he was telling me this since I didn't really care but then he said that this would be convenient for us. He said that I didn't need to fight it anymore and that we could finally get together now. I couldn't believe that he was

standing right outside my house and asking me to cheat on my husband. I was appalled and disgusted and immediately said that he had three seconds to leave or else I'd call the police. Once again, he didn't take it seriously and decided to stay so I ended up calling the police and they had to take him away. I'm glad my daughter wasn't there to witness it, but I did call my husband up immediately. Chris came back within half an hour and made sure I was all right. And I was okay, just a little shaken by what had happened. I don't even know how he'd found out where I lived. The friend who told him about Joe being married to someone else wasn't even close enough to me to know that I was married, let alone know where I lived so it

couldn't have been him. But now I'm feeling weird and uncomfortable in my own home and I hate it. I'm lucky that he's here only for a few more weeks and I'm counting on that to make him stay away. It isn't even myself that I'm worried about the most, it's my daughter. I'm not saying that he'd put us in danger, he doesn't seem psycho. Yet. But I surely wouldn't put it past him. Even today, while I was hiding out in the living room and waiting for the cops to arrive, he was begging me to give him one chance.

He thought I was bluffing about the phone call and didn't buy it even though he'd heard me reporting him on the call. I think that's just him being super delusional. Right now, my husband and I are considering amping up the security and we're going to speak to his uncle who works in the police and get his advice on what to do next because this just took a super weird and creepy turn. I don't want to stick around to find out what he does next. Update 6. I think I found out how Nick traced me. I talked to a couple of my college friends and one of them happened to give out my address to Nick's old friend. She apologized to me several times when I told her what had happened and said that she'd forgotten to ask me first.

I'm obviously still pissed about it because her forgetfulness has led to a crap load of problems for me now. I'm taking a breather from this woman now because what she'd done was immensely stupid. You don't just give out people's addresses without asking them first, I think even second graders would know something as basic as that. I haven't heard from Nick after he was escorted off our property by the police, but we're still considering moving, just in case he was lying about being here for only a few more weeks. Chris and I don't want to risk anything, especially since our daughter goes to school nearby and I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and anxious about how the situation has turned out. So we're still considering a move and the only thing holding us back, ironically, is our daughter. She loves our home and has been very upset ever since she learned that we might have to leave. So any tips on how to deal with this are welcome.

Until then, we're just trying to figure out a way to make this work for us right now without compromising on our safety. Update 7, Nick has moved to Canada and I've confirmed it with multiple people, so I know he's gone for sure. He's back on social media again, so that's how they all know what he's up to. He had texted me once after I'd called the cops on him, only to tell me that he still believed something could have happened between us that day but I was just too scared to let myself do anything. He told me that he'd wait for the day I'd realize, just like he did, that I still loved him and that my husband was just an obstacle in our way and nothing more. He even said that he'd be willing to adopt my daughter to show how devoted he was to me and sent

me his address in Canada so I could reach out to him whenever I felt I was ready. I couldn't believe that people could be this delusional, but at least he was gone. He'd used a new number to text me so I blocked that as well and that was it. I no longer have to deal with his bull crap or worry about him showing up at my house unannounced again. I'm mostly happy about the fact that we didn't have to move because my daughter is so happy that she gets to stay in the home that she loves. As long as she's happy and safe, I'm okay with everything. And now that I know we're not in any danger, I'm not that worried either.

We're still keeping the security measures we'd taken in place, though, just to be doubly sure. Chris and I also did read the last message that Nick had sent together. We were sitting on the couch, drinking wine, and watching our daughter play, and it honestly felt ridiculous that even after he'd seen my family, he still believed that I'd won him. I can't imagine how any human being can be so self-involved. I even sent Joe that text and he had the same reaction as us. I'm still not speaking to my friend who gave him my address, though what she'd done was very irresponsible and as a mother herself, she should know better than that.

Not only did she put me in a really tough spot, but also my family and that's something that I just cannot forgive her for. Anyway, my husband and I are planning a vacation to the beach, my daughter's favorite place, in a few weeks so that we can let some steam off, which is much needed since these past couple of weeks were really very stressful for me and I feel like I've earned a break. I've been very busy with work, as has my husband and I'm sure this will do us a lot of good. Thank you guys for all the love and support that you guys have been sending us. Much love. I hope you enjoy this story.

I felt envious when my partner Saul created a stuffed toy for him during the holiday season and incessing. that he gave it back. Later on, she invited me for a coffee to resolve any tension, and I accepted. If she got divorced, she'd just be another woman in his life so he broke up with me. I just want to start by saying that I realize I might be totally wrong and insecure in this situation. I just really want another perspective or something because I just can't help the fact that this bothers me and I am admittedly feeling jealousy. I have been with my boyfriend for six months at this point. He has four siblings. three brothers and one sister, and we are the shortest relationship in the family.

Three of his siblings are married and another is in a very long-term relationship. I think the shortest relationship in the bunch is five and a half years. So I will admit I am a bit intimidated and insecure there. For Christmas this year his sister-in-law made him a homemade plushy of this little blue baby dinosaur-looking character from his favorite game Guild Wars. The plushy is amazing quality and he absolutely loved it. but she didn't make one for any of the other boys who also love the game just as much. Not even her husband. In fact, she went out of her way to give it to him without his other brothers around except for her husband.

Her husband was just as excited for her to give his brother the gift as she was, but it just felt off to me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Why would she work so hard on something for my boyfriend and no one else? And it just felt like such a personal gift that I could never match and I just feel like she totally took away from what I gave him. I did try talking to my boyfriend about it and how I thought it was weird. He said he didn't think it was weird at all because she has always been closer to him than the other brothers. Well, shouldn't she be closer to her husband than him?

He didn't get one. I don't know. I asked him if he would give it back to her saying he can't accept it and he refused and said I'm being ridiculous. I just feel like a woman doesn't make such a personal gift for a guy unless they see them as something more. It was just how I was raised and I hate feeling this way about something like this. I talked to my mom and sister and they both agreed that it wasn't right and that this was most likely the beginning of her trying to push me out. I just can't help but feel like she was trying to make him like her more than me because he said she has never given him anything before and this is our first Christmas together.

I just don't know what to think. Or if I'm overthinking this completely. Comments where OP has replied, comment one, you're reading way too. much into this. As someone else said, there may be a backstory on and joke there that you don't know about. Also, it's entirely possible that she's working on gifts for everyone else. If it's as nice as you say it probably takes a while to make so maybe she ran out of time. I talked to my mom and sister and they both agreed that it wasn't right and that this was most likely the beginning of her trying to push me out. WTF. She's happily married to his brother and gave him the gift in front of her

husband and you think she's trying to push you out? That's some master level insecurity there. Oh, O-op, I guess the time thing is a good way to look at it. It does look very professional I don't so, so I really don't know how long something like that takes. And that's just how my mom has raised us. She has always been very protective of our father. I try not to be her because I know she can be a bit much at times, but this situation just completely threw me off. And it's honestly hard to see as other siblings significant others fitting into the family unit so well while I'm just the outcast. Comment two, if anything I'd say that your mom is trying to drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend's family, even if she's doing it unwillingly.

Comment three, you are overreacting. Being a jealous, paranoid and controlling girlfriend will drive him away. You've been together six months and you're already trying to determine what presence he's allowed to receive from his family. That's crazy. You are the one making up a wedge to drive between you and his family, not her. Calm down. It's a stuffed animal, not a blow job. Which is probably what her husband got and why she didn't gift it in front of you. OOP, it wouldn't have bothered me if it was from his actual family. It's just that it's the significant other of his brother that bothered me. If his actual sister made it for him,

I would never in a million years have asked him to return the gift. Comment 4. An in-law is actual family. And you do yourself no favors by making those kinds of distinctions. My sister-in-law is my family and I'd be really annoyed if someone tried to tell me that she wasn't. Oh, O-op, that's just a really hard distinction for me to make honestly. His one brother has been in a long-term relationship for seven years. They do not plan to marry. Yet this sister-in-law has been with her husband for five and a half years.

She hasn't been with the family for as long as the other one who isn't married, so how is she? more their family than the other girl who has been around longer. Just because of documents? I always viewed marriage as the couple making their own family unit. Comment five, this hair splitting about who is more his family is really weird. She is married to his brother. She is family. It doesn't matter if they've been married for five minutes or 15 years. The woman who is in a long-term relationship with his other brother is also family. No one is more family than the other. It's not a pH level, they're familial ties. Update. My first post wasn't popular by any means, but it got a decent amount of comments, so I figured I'd update.

I went a few weeks without saying anything else about the subject because everyone on here seemed to disagree with my side of things. Then last Saturday he told me he was going to be spending the day at his brothers just to hang out. We generally make plans on Saturdays, but I hadn't had the chance to make plans official with him yet. I just figured it was implied at this point. So I asked him if I would be allowed to go over there with him. That's when he told me that it was just going to be a day with him and his brother. So I reminded him that since it is his brother's house, then most likely his wife will be present too, so I didn't really see how it was fair. Ultimately it blew up and I told him everything, brought up the gift again and just how I feel intimidated by everyone and feel like his sister-in-law is on some pedestal or something because she gets to be there and I don't.

I also mentioned how I just felt like I was being pushed out by her and that the gift made me uneasy. He was frustrated and told me that he was going to his brothers and that he would talk to me later. So I spent all morning Saturday on edge and just completely jealous. Then around 1 p.m. his sister-in-law called me, I guess he gave her my number, and asked me if I was free to meet her for coffee. I was confused but agreed to have coffee with her. I expected it to be awkward. At the coffee shop she wasted no time to tell me that my boyfriend had told her everything. She said she wanted to meet for dinner because she wanted me to see her face and see that she was genuine in everything she had to say.

She went on to explain that she had no feelings for him in the way I was implying to him and no intention of pushing me out. She said her original plan was to make the plushy for all of the boys since they all play the game but it took her way too much time to make one so she wanted to give it to her favorite brother-in-law. I questioned why not her husband and she said that she lives with him and he knew she was making it in the first place and that she could make him one any time and just wanted that one to be a surprise Christmas present. I told her that I still kind of thought it was inappropriate since he was in a relationship now and she just paused and didn't say anything for a few seconds.

Then she asked me if there was anything else that was bothering me. I used today as an example and said it bothered me that he went to her house and told me I couldn't come because it was a day with his brother even though she would obviously be there. She told me that it is a day with his brother and that just because she lives in the house doesn't change that. She said that she kept to herself doing her own things while the boys played video games with each other and that my boyfriend came to her when she was in the kitchen to talk to her about me briefly.

I didn't say anything. I still felt a bit jealous, but I just didn't know what to say. She then asked me if I had anything else I wanted to get out and I declined. She said that she didn't want to part one. without giving me some advice. She went on to say that she thinks I'm a very nice girl and that the entire family feels that way and wanted to remind me that all of the spouses and significant others were new to the family at one point in time. She went on about how it takes time to feel a closeness with everyone and that she went through it too. She then said that she didn't want to come across

the wrong way but that I needed to work hard on my insecurities or else I would lose my boyfriend. She just went on and on saying how I am so nice and that I am ruining a good thing by letting myself overthink these things and by being so insecure. She told me to really think about how I am acting over his own sister-in-law interacting with him. That's when my stupid brain made me say, well, if you were to get a divorce, then you wouldn't be his sister-in-law and you would just be another woman in his life. That was the moment it finally hit me just how crazy I was being. She gave me this look and said, well, we aren't getting a divorce so, and I just felt completely

completely embarrassed and apologized. She then very nicely told me that on second thought she thinks I might not be ready for a relationship at all and that I really need to work on myself. That was pretty much the end of it and reparted ways. I spent the rest of the weekend crying and hating myself. My boyfriend didn't call me or text me at all. Finally on Monday he asked if he could come over. So he came over and asked how it went with Sill and I had figured he knew everything but he said that all she said was that he needed to talk to me. Turns out he didn't talk to me all weekend because he was angry with how I acted about him going to his brother's house

then bringing up the gift again and he just needed some space. He told me that he wasn't going to put up with this type of behavior and that it is putting way too much unnecessary drama into his life. As I'm sure you are probably guessing, he proceeded to break up with me. He told me he really cared about me, but he just can't imagine how bad it will get in the future if I'm already acting like this with people who are his family.

I begged him not to leave and that I would do everything to change and he just wouldn't budge. I haven't heard from him since and I feel like I had my heart ripped out and stomped on it hurt so bad. And I know this is all my fault. I have my mom and sister telling me how it's good riddance and how he broke up with me so that he wouldn't have anything holding him back from his sill and this just broke me. I am so done with my family and the way they put these toxic ideas in my head. I'm just done. So yeah.

Not a happy update. From here I am planning on working on myself and hope to someday maybe convince him to give me another chance. I don't know why I wrote this update. It just feels good to get it out, I guess, and further convinces me I need to change. Next story, boyfriend refuses to propose unless I move in with him first, but I won't live together until we're engaged. He said he needs to test things out, and when I asked what exactly he's telling him. He just shrugged, so I broke up with him. Six years on July 20th, my BF, 24M, and I, 23F, will be celebrating

our dating anniversary. I love him so much he's my best friend in the entire world and we've really grown together since we started dating at 18. As excited as I am to celebrate six years with him I can't help but also dread it because it's another year of him not proposing. We've had a lot of people ask, oh my God, almost six years, why aren't you guys engaged yet? And also some people say you guys are so young, just enjoy your lives and honestly within the relationship we are both split. He went from asking me to marry him every day when we were 18 to saying we need to be more stable once we both enter the corporate workforce. We've discussed marriage, kids and all of that and have agreed those are things we both want. Of course, I understand him and it is the responsible thing to do to have out

finances and such be more stable, however, it seems he's starting to prioritize other things over marriage like he's expressed his aspiration to move into the city, then another day wanting a new car, and then the next wanting to travel together and all these new aspirations and wants are starting to hurt my head because it seems like he doesn't know what he wants. We've had so many discussions about our future and what we want to create together and what we wish for ourselves, but he always seems so sure about what he wants for himself and not for us. His older sister got engaged last year and of course, we were both so happy and excited for her. However, I later found myself getting angry and upset not towards her but my BF. He seemed so excited

for her and her fiancé in their future and started talking about our future as if it was a distant future. Like when people would tease us saying, oh, you guys are next, he just chuckle and stay quiet or say, oh, we've got a long way. What was worse was that he'd asked me for my opinion about his sister's wedding, almost rubbing it in my face asking me if I'd have a destination wedding, plan the same way as her, etc. Meanwhile, he's saying these contradicting things. In addition to this, I brought up to him recently that I'd like to be engaged soon and he said he would not propose unless we live together for at least a year. I expressed to him that I personally would not want to live together unless we are engaged, but he said that this is his one non-negotiable.

I asked if he was willing to compromise, E, us to be engaged and start. start looking for a place after, but he said no. Just simply no. I asked if there was any other way or if he had any ideas of how we could compromise and he just shrugged. I am in no rush to be married or engaged, but I wanted to ask him his thoughts to further understand where he is at and where he thinks we are progressing. What is concerning to me, however, is that I asked him okay, so if I don't live with you for another three years, then you won't propose and he said yes, again no compromise further insinuating that he would make me wait until he gets his way. This made me really angry, now I'm at this stage of denial but also acceptance realizing that he won't do it unless I give him what he wants and I truly don't know what to do.

I couldn't even continue the conversation with him because how could I after he just shut me down? He seems to be so excited for our friends and family around us getting engaged and having kids but doesn't seem to be excited for us to do those things. I want to get engaged and married because I love him and want to start. our future together not because I'm trying to relate to people around me. However, I find that he always compares our relationship to other people's E, my sister and her boyfriend traveled all over Europe. Why can't we? Well, my friend and his G.F. just got a place together we should do that. He's expressing what he wants passively and when I actually try to talk to him about it he seems closed off. I grew up in a fairly traditional household and while I don't

carry all of the values my parents raised me with one of the few is waiting to be engaged slash engaged to be married to move and together, and he's known this for some time even before we started actively having these conversations. Recently, he started doing this thing that's actually made me crazy. He'll hold my hand and start measuring my ring finger as if cutely trying to gauge my ring size and honestly it feels like a punch in the gut. Like who does that after saying they don't plan to propose any time soon? At this point, I truly don't know what to do anymore and feel lost and almost nervous for our six-year celebration coming up. I don't know how to change his mind because the last thing I want to do is beg him to propose. I feel stuck. Edit, I'm seeing a lot of comments

about our ages and again, like I said above. I understand we are young and have been together since I was 17 and he was 18. I understand and hear that advice. However, I am not asking for marriage and babies next year. I'm simply asking for further commitment and engagement. Personally, I think if you've been with someone for six years you should know by now. Also a lot of you are saying I'm not willing to compromise. I've been hearing him out for years. The issue is I have compromised so much for him and he is yet to do that for me. For two years and the beginning of our relationship he had no job.

I paid for almost everything. I've also for the last few years have planned our dates, our trips, etc. I literally remind him when he has a doctor's appointment. Fast forward now being more financial stable we've planned for trips and have traveled together, but when I ask him for some time to save he keeps on insisting he wants to go somewhere and money can always be made later. When I try to understand him and see his perspective regarding living together, I expect that he do the same for me, but he doesn't.

I always put an effort and might I add for the last two years he hasn't bothered to do something special or plan something nice for my birthday despite having all this money to get a new car and go on all these trips he's changed a lot from the start in our relationship. especially when it comes to effort. He's a good guy, we've had so many great memories together, but I feel sometimes that I just mourn what we used to have. He's masking being responsible with what is convenient for him. It's about him and not about what I want because if it was about what I want, he would understand my wants to save money for the future, to communicate more, etc. Marriage is not about having the big wedding or party. I told him he could literally propose with a ring pop and I

would say yes. He's a great guy, but he's also disappointed me so much and don't think I can handle more disappointment. Update, hi everyone, gosh, it's truly been some time. I honestly kind of forgot I had posted this because a lot has happened in the last month or so. If you haven't read the original post, you can search the title if you haven't guessed already. I broke up with him. I let our anniversary pass, tried to move on from my anger and frustrations and while our anniversary was great I realized he simply just did not and could not understand me and I simply couldn't let it go. About a week after our anniversary we were downtown working and on a whim he asked if we could grab dinner after work. I said yes and what was supposed to be a casual dinner and go home type of day

turned into a dinner and exploring all the neighborhoods he wanted to live in downtown. I felt like I was ambushed into viewing neighborhoods and places I didn't even want to live in slash we never discussed openly and it made me feel almost sick as it felt like he was just rubbing salt onto my wound passively dangling the key to my future ring. If you remember from my previous post about how he used to size my ring finger yeah made me sick to my stomach just like that. At the end of the night before heading home, I asked if we could talk in his car when he was dropping me off. I brought up how I was still not happy about the relationship feeling one-sided and that while I put in all the effort he put in the bare minimum and still

forced slash whined about what he wanted in the relationship and never considered what I wanted. He actually got frustrated and said it makes no sense living together is more of a commitment because we are obligated to stay together due to paperwork you can break off an engagement if you wanted to. We've had this conversation four to five times and you still don't understand me. He then went on about how it would be an opportunity to test things out. This statement was very much a slap to the face because I realized there that the same guy he used to vocalize wanting to get married every day did not truly think nor understand the importance of marriage and unity like I, though he did. And what hurt most was that after six years of being together and me for the last two year

really vocalizing excitement and a future with him he never once actually listened to me when I talked about how important and exciting engagement and marriage is to me. I then brought up how his words were hurtful saying it's a good way to test it out and see how things go. I asked him what exactly are you testing out after six years test and see if you still like me and want to be together for you to even say you'd have to test things out with us and not know what you want to do now. That's your answer.

You're not committed to this, not committed to me, so I followed it up with if you aren't sure you want to marry me now, you won't be sure tomorrow next month next. Year or in the next five years, and I cannot simply wait for you to wake up and see me as worthy of a ring, and so I got up out of the car and told him it was over. It's been more than a month now, and I think I did the right thing, of course,

a part of me still misses and grieves him, but that last interaction told me exactly what I needed to hear. Yes, he's tried to keep in touch and wants to talk things out, but at this point in time I can't even look. at him to anyone out there having these same. Feelings or maybe going through the same issue do what you think is best for not only you but your future self, your future kids, etc. Thank you to everyone who offered their sweet and supportive words. Good luck to you all.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner was behaving oddly during dinner with her closest companion, as though they were displaying romantic behaviors. When I inquired, she mentioned that their chance for a romantic relationship had diminished. left the church. Sorry for the long post, I didn't realize how much I had to say until I got it all typed out. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads all this. I've been with my girlfriend Jordan for a little over two years, we live together and we have two cats. Up until this weekend I genuinely thought everything was perfect in our relationship.

Which I know is what everyone says in these posts but I really was thinking that I was going to ask her to marry me sometime in the next year. We don't ever get into arguments, Jordan is very sweet and easygoing and normally we just mesh well on everything. Honestly, if everything in our relationship hadn't been so good up until now I probably would have just broken up with her this weekend. But because things have truly been so perfect I'm not sure if maybe I'm jumping to the wrong conclusion about what to do because my feelings got hurt. The other person who's important in this story is Jordan's friend Mark. She's known Mark for their whole lives because they both grew up in the same small religious

community. Jordan isn't part of that religion anymore, she decided to leave the church when she was, I think, 19 and moved to the state that we live in now. Mark still is in the religion and apparently takes it really seriously, I'm told he now works for the church back in Jordan's hometown. Also, as far as I know Mark is the only person from the religious community that Jordan still talks to besides her parents, which I'm mentioning because I now think it could be a red flag. So on Saturday I met Mark for the first time because he was in our city and Jordan wanted us all to have dinner together. At this point I want to say, I will admit that when we were first dating and I found out that Jordan had a best friend who was a guy I didn't really like it, especially

because it seemed like they were on FaceTime with each other a lot. But since it was a childhood friend and they mostly didn't see each other in person, I just trusted Jordan that Mark was only a and didn't let it bother me and eventually I got over it. So when we were going to dinner, I wasn't jealous or suspicious of Mark at all. If anything, I was somewhat excited to finally be meeting him since I've been hearing about him for two years. But then the way Jordan and Mark acted at dinner is what convinced me that there's something going on there other than just being best friends.

I honestly don't even know how to describe it except to say that I've never seen two people act more obviously like they were in love with each other. They literally would not stop touching each other. They were constantly touching each other's arms and shoulders, and at some points they were actually even holding hands. They completely left me out of the conversation and were laughing about inside jokes, and every time they'd laugh they'd do this thing where they put their foreheads together, or that was when they'd be holding hands. And then also they were just looking at each other in a way that I didn't feel comfortable with at all,

it was honestly even worse than the touching. It just wasn't how anyone would look at somebody they're supposedly just friends with. I'm 100% sure that every stranger looking at our table thought that Jordan and Mark were the couple and that I was her brother or something. I felt like a third will the whole time and Jordan didn't even notice how awkward she was making it for me because she was way too focused on Mark and all the attention she was getting from him. And that's really not like Jordan at all. Usually she's a lot more considerate and would notice immediately if I wasn't having a good time or if she was accidentally. being rude and excluding someone at the table. So it was genuinely really jarring to be sitting there with her and Mark and basically feeling like I didn't know my girlfriend at all. It was like he turned her into a completely different person who didn't even care that I was alive. So finally

at one point when Jordan got up to go to the bathroom I just said to Mark, so are you into my girl or what's going on here? Mark, nothing's going on at all. That ship sailed a long time ago. Me, what does that mean? Did you guys date at some point? Mark, no, we never did. And then when she left the church, we both knew it meant that we were never going to. And we've accepted being in each other's lives as friends. There's nothing else going on at all.

Me, that makes it sound like the only reason you're not together is because she left the church. And all Mark did was shrug. Me, well, what if she came back? to the church. Would you marry her? Mark, oh, she's not going to do that. You might as well ask what would happen if a bicycle had six tires. And so then when Jordan came back to the table, Mark said to her, Op wants to know if we'd be married if you weren't a godless heathen. Jordan, why, did you two call your mom while I was gone? And then she and Mark both just laughed about it and changed the subject. So because of dinner and the conversation and

everything else that I've written about in this post, I really feel like Jordan and Mark are in love with each other and not just best friends like they say, and the only reason they aren't together is because they can't compromise about their religion. I think Jordan thinks that because she's okay with that decision, she expects me to be okay with being her second choice. And in the meantime, she's actually secretly wanting to be with Mark, so that makes me think that I should probably obviously just have self-respect and break up with her because I shouldn't be in a relationship with someone who would rather be with somebody else. But then the problem for me is that our relationship has been so perfect and Jordan has always treated me so well except for this one night.

The only time she's ever acted like this was on the one occasion that Mark was around in person. Normally even when she's talking to him all the time, she's never made me feel this way. So on the one hand, I'm wondering if maybe it doesn't matter what Jordan's feeling. are for Mark, as long as he isn't going to be around, it doesn't actually seem to affect our relationship. So maybe I just need to cool off and go back to trusting her that they are indeed only friends even if it seems to be true that they have complicated feelings for each other. Or should I just end things?

Update, I talked to Jordan on Wednesday night. The TL-D-R update to the situation is that I didn't break up with her, after we talked about everything I feel like that would be too much of an overreaction for what's actually. actually going on. I do still think I was right to be upset about what I saw happening at dinner on Saturday and Jordan didn't disagree with me about that, but I think I did jump to the wrong conclusion that it meant that she secretly actually wanted to be with Mark more than she wants to be with me. Now that we've talked it out, I don't think there's a reason to end what's otherwise the best relationship I've ever had and I'm glad that I didn't just immediately

trust my instincts because there was more going on with the situation that I didn't really understand that Jordan has since told me. And now I do feel like she can be given some grace in this situation assuming nothing like this ever happens again. So thanks for the advice, especially for everyone who told me to just talk to her before I made a big decision. So when we talked I decided to take the main piece of advice that I got from everyone and start by telling Jordan that my feelings were hurt by the way she treated me at dinner with Mark and then see how the conversation went from there. It turned into a very long talk so I don't want to try to remember exact quotes and get them wrong, but here are the important things. I repeated to Jordan some of what I wrote in the post and said that I felt excluded by her and Mark, especially because they were being overly touchy-feely with each other to the point where it made me uncomfortable.

Jordan seemed surprised like she didn't even notice that she and Mark were touching each other that much, but then she thought about it and said that I was right and apologized. She said that Mark is always really touchy with everybody and not just her, I asked, and so she didn't even think about it, but that she wished I would have said something at the time because she didn't realize they were being that obnoxious. I said that was part of what bothered me, because I thought that normally she would have noticed something like that, but she was acting so different around Mark and not paying any attention to anything else including how I was feeling that it was honestly just made me question which one of us she cared about more or if she cared about him as more than just a

friend. Jordan apologized more and said that she could understand why it would look that way to me, but that she loves me and cares more about me than anyone else in the world and that she didn't mean to act like that or make me feel that way. She said that she was trying to not make Mark feel like a third will because of being a single guy out with a couple but obviously it backfired and just made me feel like the third will instead which wasn't what she wanted to do either. After that Jordan explained a lot to me about her history with Mark, and basically as she explained it she said that she fully admits she cares about him as more than just a normal friend, but she says that it's not in a romantic way. She said that's why she always specifically refers to him

as her best friend and not just as her friend, and said that she would use the phrase he's like my brother if it weren't for the fact that she once had an actual brother, R-I-P, so she won't use that phrasing for anyone else. According to Jordan, the main thing that happened to make her and Mark so close was that when she was 17 she tried to kill herself, and that was actually when everyone else in the community stopped talking to her and Mark was the only person who didn't. For the next couple of years until she moved he was literally her only friend and she said that he checked on her every single day to make sure she stayed alive which is also when they got into the habit of talking on the phone so much. And also apparently during this time

Mark's parents thought they were dating and made a big deal about how they shouldn't be and that's why she made that remark during dinner, apparently calling Jordan a godless heathen is something that Mark's mom said. I did tell Jordan that Mark basically said to me that he thought that two of them would be married if she had stayed in the church, and I asked her if she thinks that maybe Mark is in love with her even if she doesn't feel the same way. She said definitely not and I don't think she was being dishonest, I really don't agree, but I think she genuinely believes that Mark isn't into her in any way apart from friendship. Her opinion of the situation is that she also thinks she and Mark would eventually have gotten married if she had never left the church removed, but from her perspective

it would have been more because of pure pressure than anything else and she doesn't think it would necessarily have been a good thing. She thinks Mark was just being honest about that, and that possibly from his perspective he thinks he and Jordan would have made a good couple, but he's probably thinking that because he's just assuming that in that scenario she'd be the perfect church wife so there's no reason why they wouldn't be a good couple. But then the big thing that happened at the end of the conversation is that Jordan told me that Mark is coming back through our city on his way home from this trip, and so she was going to invite him to hang out with the two of us again, but she said that if I'm going to be uncomfortable with him around

then she won't ask him. A lot of people were saying that if she didn't offer to cut contact with him or to cut down on contact with him, it meant that she valued him over me, so the fact that she brought up on her own that she wouldn't invite him to dinner with us again because I didn't like it seemed like a really good sign to me. Based on everything else that she said, I do understand why she didn't offer to totally stop being friends with him and I wouldn't expect her to after what she told me about what happened when she was a teenager. So now I'm deciding to take Jordan's word for it that although she and Mark are weirdly close, it's for the reasons that she explained to me and not because she's in love with him. I think the fact that she was immediately apologetic instead of defensive was good, and the way she explained everything did make sense to me. I don't necessarily trust Mark, but I do think I can trust Jordan.

But I am going to watch and see if it seems like she's still talking to him as much as she used to or if anything changes or sounds different. I'm not going to be controlling and tell her that she can't talk to him or that she has to talk to him less, but I want to see if me talking to her about all of this causes her to act any differently at all, I'm kind of thinking she might realize on her own that the way Mark acts towards her actually does seem like he likes her as more than a friend now that I've brought it up, but I don't know. It could be that things just go back to exactly the way they were before and I won't know changed until the next time Mark is around in person. But I don't think that's something I should keep worrying about before it happens. Next story, ran into my ex-friend after ten years. When she saw my wife was pregnant, she messaged me asking why was I never good enough. Every time we almost dated years ago, she was always with another guy. Hello, everyone. I, 35M, am happily married with two children. My wife 32F and I have been together for eight years married for four. We were out shopping in our hometown when we ran into my ex-friend, her parents, and her children. She moved out of state over ten years ago and I haven't seen her since nor have we had any contact other than Facebook happy birthday wishes. She is married with two kids of her own.

Anyway, onto the situation. My Phil and her father are friendly with each other. Both retired military and occasionally have breakfast together with their other retired friends. When we ran into each other ex-friend's dad congratulated my wife and I. We figured my Phil told him we're expecting our third child. I saw my ex-friend look at my wife's belly and then acted distant for the rest of the exchange whereas she was friendly starting off. We trade pleasantries and say goodbye.

My wife and I continue about our shopping. By the time we're done I check my phone and see I have a Facebook message from ex-friend. X-F it was good to see you again. Me you too. The family looks good. X-F yours too. Would you want to grab coffee and catch up? I'm in town for a couple more days me were actually pretty busy otherwise I would be down.

I'm sorry XF I understand. Adulting. Can I ask you a question? Me, sure. What's up? X-F was I just not your type. Me, what do you mean X-F I'm asking what did I do wrong? Me didn't respond as this was out of nowhere X-F I pursued you for years. We were inseparable for years and you never gave us a real chance.

I loved you. Our families loved us. Our friends loved us together. You just never committed all the way to us. You wouldn't even have sex with me and I need to know why. Was I not good enough? Could you not see yourself married to me and having a family together? I didn't respond and I showed the messages to my wife.

She knows of this girl and my reasoning for her and I growing apart. Mostly because we see her family everywhere and she asked. My wife told me to be honest with her, but I'm not sure if that's right. It feels mean. I'm going to give my POV on our friendship and I'm hoping I can get some advice on where to go from here. Basically she and I met through friends in high school. I was very interested, but she was dating someone at the time. She ended up asking me out a month or so later and we went on dates and kissed a few times

though we never had the conversation on being official, hence me calling her friend and not girlfriend. One night while riding in the car, her, who I thought was X, B.F. called her and asked when she'd be over. She didn't have it on speaker, but I could still hear the conversation. She told him I can't talk right now and he asked who she's with. She didn't tell him. He later figured it out and messaged me on Facebook asking if I knew they were still together. I apologized and said I didn't and would cut things off. I called her and she started crying saying she didn't have a little. the courage to tell me they were still together, but she liked me so much and was going to

break up with him. I cut her off anyway. Fast forward a few more months and she reaches out and we go through the same motions. Her wanting to be with me but always having another guy messaging her that I would catch out of the corner of my eye. This lasted, embarrassingly, years, throughout college and our early twenties it was always the same. She'd reach out, we'd reconnect and things begin getting serious again. I'd check her social media and see she just broke up with someone. We even went on vacation to the mountains together for a weekend and the same thing. She had literally just been there a month ago with her ex the trip with me was her idea.

The worst part is both our families really did love us together. My parents were never rude to my girlfriends but would ask me how ex is doing these days. Or Snide remarks about how her parents miss me. I'll even my now Phil at one point mention that X's dad brought up how he really thought I'd be his son one day. I confided in my friends years ago that I'm always just a rebound or backup plan and that's why I could never commit or get more physical with her. They told me to just sleep with her when she comes calling and don't pursue anything more. The problem was I wanted more but felt used. Anyways, every time we would plan things out where sex was more than likely on the table, I'd see a guy message her or

or I'd see a post on social media and it just killed my enthusiasm. When I say that I mean literally, it crushed my confidence every single time. One of my best friends told me I didn't have to pay attention to all that and could have just had my fun with her. Didn't mean I had to chase a relationship with her knowing I was always a rebound. That felt shitty to me. I had other girlfriends here and there, but I wanted this girl.

We just clicked, you know. But it's like some sort of goddamn mystical being was showing me a sign every single time things we're going to progress our relationship. I just didn't want her to be getting over someone else or having someone on back burner when we'd reconnect. Maybe that's my own insecurity but I know how I felt and it didn't feel good. So I slowly distanced myself. After a short amount of time passed I met my wife, she met her husband and our lives moved on with

little to no contact until the other day. I haven't responded to the message and it's been two days. I was thinking of just lying and saying it's not her fault or just not responding, but my wife is insisting I tell her the whole thing. I know this is a word wall, but I'm honestly conflicted. I told my wife I was going to ask others for their opinion and I'm considering the internet as my others. Update, thank you everyone for responses. I decided to listen to the majority and responded to ex-Frande.

The response was well received. and we chatted the rest of the week and met up on the weekend before Easter. The short of it is we're both leaving our partners. A and I are going to try this relationship again now that we've completely opened up to each other about our true feelings. Thank you all for the encouragement to do this. Couldn't have done it without you. April Fools. I would never.

The real update is pretty anticlimactic, unfortunately. I ended up just never responding to A. It had already been five days by the time I read through every response and decided to just let it go. My wife was fine with that but told me to block her if she messages again. We did a couple Easter egg hunts with different family members yesterday, including at my fills. They have a decent-sized property and host quite a few people so I wasn't surprised to see non-family members. I was however surprised when A's parents were there with her children. After all the adults scattered and hid the eggs and the kids started their search A's dad came over to chat with me, nothing out of the ordinary, and we shot the shit for a few minutes.

Towards the end I asked if the kids were staying with them for Easter and he basically told me A and her husband were having some troubles and they needed some time alone to sort things out. He didn't go into specifics so I don't know exactly what troubles are but congratulations to those of you who called that one. For now this should conclude the story. If she does happen to reach out again and I feel it's worth letting you all know what it says then I will. Otherwise, thanks again. I hope you enjoy this story. Smith contrasted my flawed gestation with Val's flawless one for nine moons. Following Val's delivery, both my spouse and I severed ties with Smith. Been married for well over two years and have been together for seven. He's amazing, quite literally the man of my dreams, and I have an amazing life with him now.

My parents and the rest of my family love him. I'm Mexican and have a really big family. Fortunately, I haven't heard a single member of my family say they didn't like him as he is a gentleman to everyone which is what made me fall in love with him in the first place. We are the perfect partners and we rarely have arguments except when it comes to his mother. Mill is a nightmare, to say the least. My husband's family is smaller compared to mine. Other than his parents, he has a sister who got married last year. year. His parents are the stereotypical conservative small-town Christians and his mother is

extremely protective about them to the point of being overbearing. She likes to be in control and insists on spending time as a family during the holidays. If we don't listen to her demands then she starts making a scene. When I met his family for the first time, his dad and I had no problems bonding as he was really chill and quiet. His sister, who was in her college in a different state and moved back only two years ago, has a great relationship with me. She treats me like her own sister. But when it came to his mother, it was quite difficult since she would say the most ridiculously sexist thing to me. For example, when they asked me what I did for work, I told them that I was a marine biologist, specializing in conservation efforts for marine life. Phil said that

was awesome and looked really happy about it, but Mill just kind of frowned without speaking a word to me. I brushed it off not thinking much about it, but later my Phil called my husband to say how my mill wanted him to break off the relationship with me. According to my Phil, she has said I'm not the kind of woman that is good enough for her son. Her reasoning is because I don't act like a woman should since I have a job. I love my job and I love being a scientist. My husband has never expressed that he wants me to be a housewife or take up a stereotypically feminine job. If he did, we wouldn't be together. But apparently, that's what his mother thought he needed.

She complained that with the well-paying job I have, might not become a housewife after marriage and that he should have found a better woman than me. My husband firmly told Phil to convey to his mother that who he chooses to marry is none of her business. I was glad my husband stood up for me. This was a green flag for me and also why I didn't walk away from our relationship right then

and thereafter hearing what his mother thought about me. Unfortunately, as we kept getting serious, Mill just got worse and worse towards me despite how much my husband tried to protect me. It started out with snide comments here and there whenever we were left alone. She would manage to sneak into conversations about the fact that she thinks a good wife should be a homemaker taking care of the house and waiting for her husband to come back home. She also made it clear to me on several occasions that I didn't look like the kind of woman my husband should have brought home as I am not feminine enough to carry children. At first, I didn't take it seriously as I figured she might be joking but when she kept repeating it, I realized she was serious about it and I was shocked by the way her mind worked. One day when we were over for dinner after Mill had insisted on us coming over, she went off on this rant about how she missed living in a world where women took care of their own family and men went out to earn for their family. My husband quipped saying that the world didn't work like that anymore and that he was lucky to have a partner like me since we both earned quite well and took care of the house together.

Mill shook her head hearing this and started saying how women should act like women and men should act like men. I knew she was knowingly talking about this, but I tried to keep a cool head. Phil told her to calm down, and that this wasn't the time for that kind of discussion we needed to have, but she got mad seeing that he was not supporting her. She continued to say how she was just speaking the truth and that she wanted the best for her son. She then looked towards me pointedly. I had heard enough from her so I quietly got to her. up from the table and asked my husband to drive me home, which he readily agreed to do. He looked at his mother with disappointment and we walked out. Later when Phil called to men things, I firmly told him that it wasn't up to Mill to decide who her son gets married to and

that she should stop trying to taunt me unnecessarily about having a job. Phil agreed and tried to apologize on behalf of her, but I wasn't having it. My husband agreed and told his dad that if she didn't apologize, then he would not be going back to see her ever. Perhaps his threats scared her into apologizing to me and I asked her to never bring it up again and she agreed so I managed to let that situation roll off my shoulders. Unfortunately, snakes don't shed their skins easily and just a few months later. When my husband and I first started living together, this was before we got married and I had to go on a research expedition for a few weeks, she found out and called me to ask who was going to take care of the house and her son. I was confused hearing

her questions and put her on speaker so my husband who was driving next to me could hear her as well. I asked her what she meant by that and she started to say how now that I was living with her son, I needed to stop being so immature. She continued to say how I should not go out for these expeditions and commit more to being a good partner to her son. My husband angrily told her that he didn't need anyone to take care of him and that we were equal partners who shared responsibilities. She got upset and started to say how we could not get married since I didn't know how to be a proper wife. My husband asked her to mind her own business and cut her call. When my husband proposed to me, my Mill was extremely unhappy, but she was even more unhappy when she found out that we wanted a small wedding.

I had a huge family and it would be expensive for us to invite all of them since we were also looking to move into our own place so I finally chalked it down to all my close family members and I had already made up my mind to have a celebration with the other family members later and treat them. But Mill started arguing with my husband saying how she wanted to invite all her friends who she had not met for a very long time and our wedding would be the perfect occasion for it. When my husband asked her if she would be paying for their plates if we did agree to invite them, she got offended saying how as his parent, he should feel ashamed to even ask this

since we both earned so well. We scoffed hearing her response and made it clear that we had already made up our minds about having a small wedding and if there was any uninvited guests that she had invited, then she would be responsible for their meals. Mill didn't like this but she could not do anything about it. During the wedding, she was loudly complaining about everything and made it very apparent that she hated my wedding gown. I didn't pay any heed to her comments and acted like she didn't exist because, for one day, I didn't want to be hurt by her mean comments. Sill, trying to protect me, tried her best to keep Mill away from me for the rest of the evening. Last year during mid-April, we found out that I was pregnant which was such good news for us since

we had been trying for some time. We waited until I was. around nine weeks pregnant to tell our close family and friends about it. My Mill was quite upset that she was not the first one to know. She called me to say how as my husband's mother, she had every right to know first and that she was disappointed in me. I told her how we wanted to wait before saying such important news and that if she wanted to complain, she could feel free to call up my husband since I was in the mood to listen to her lectures about what a good woman should do. Just a month after I had announced my pregnancy, as luck would have it, Sill told us that

that she had just found out that she was pregnant also. We were shocked yet pleased to hear about this. This just meant that there would be one new addition to our family. Sil wasn't yet married but had a serious longtime boyfriend who we had all met. I knew that Mill would make a big deal about this pregnancy before marriage thing, which she did as expected but my husband supported his sister as much as she could and finally, Mill accepted. Sill was extremely emotional and was happy that he would have two grandchildren at a time.

Sill and I started spending more and more time together since we were simultaneously pregnant and going through this journey together. We leaned on each other for advice and companionship during a period that was both magical and challenging. We shopped for our babies together and decided on our nurseries. During this time, Mill started to constantly compare my pregnancy with Sill's pregnancy journey out of nowhere as if it was some sort of a competition. She would say things like how Sill was clearly better equipped to be a mother than me since she had always. always been a homemaker unlike me who had a job. There would be snide remarks here and they're like if I vomited more and she found out. She would say how Sil never vomited this much so it clearly means that her womb was better for the baby. As much as I tried to let her comments go, it would

bother me and Sil hated it as much as I did. When it came time for my gender reveal party, I asked Sil to find out the gender of our baby from our doctor so she could prepare the envelope. She did the same when it came time for her gender reveal party. Mill was furious when she found out about this and had a major meltdown. She turned up at our doorstep screaming at us that I was trying to take away her grandchild from her by not allowing her to organize this gender reveal and that my husband should put his foot down when it came to me so she could be more involved in my pregnancy. My husband didn't like the way she was speaking to me as it was starting to give me a headache,

so he told her to get out or she would be cut off permanently from our grandchild's life. As usual, she made a scene crying and insisting that she only wanted the best for her grandchild but made her exit eventually. Later, we received calls from Phil and Sil as they were concerned with how she was acting, and we had to tell them everything that had happened. Sil was shocked to hear how her mother was behaving and urged me to rest as much as I could because clearly, I was distressed after all my mill screaming. During Christmas, my husband told his mother that we weren't coming to Christmas since I couldn't travel long distances. She was pissed to hear that, arguing how he was trying to stray away from his family and when he refused to listen to her, she hung up in the middle of the conversation. We thought she understood and would not bother us again. To our surprise, a week later, she texted him saying we should be at her place sharp at 4 p.m.

My husband texted back to her reminding her about their conversation earlier about us not coming. She decided to call him and started screaming at him that he had no right to avoid family by acting like this and started out of asking questions if I was trying to deter him from coming. My husband told her that it was both our decision to not go and she started screaming again about how he needed to control his woman. Understandably, I started realizing how controlling and toxic mill was becoming day by day and would share my concerns with my husband and sill. Both of them would agree that she was clearly crossing the lines and would stand up for me

but their mother was exhausting. When it came time to give birth, we didn't have time to inform anyone as I went into preterm labor at 33 weeks and our baby boy was born at 34 weeks via duct emergency C-section after all efforts of natural birth failed. After my husband checked that both I and the baby were okay, he announced our son's birth on the family group chat and also informed my family. Everyone was so happy and busy congratulating me but Mill had yet another meltdown about not being told I was in labor and that the baby had been born. She sent us a barrage of texts personally saying how she should have been there in the delivery room with me watching her

grandchild coming into this world. This was absolutely ridiculous since I would have never allowed her in, but I didn't reply to correct her delusions as I was busy with my baby. When we announced his name, she called my husband crying about how it sounded too Mexican and that he should keep a different name. When my husband said he liked our son's name, she said how it could be our son's middle name but we needed to keep a different name. We obviously didn't listen and she kept fussing about it. When it came time for her to meet our son, she insisted on calling him a completely different name which took us by surprise. She tried to justify saying how this could be her special little name for him, but my husband firmly asked her to cut it out. She also hates the fact that I breastfeed my son because then I would have to take him away from her and she says that I should start feeding him formula so then she can spend more time with him.

My mother who was also present with me informed her how a newborn baby needs to have breast milk, but Mill kept arguing that it was not. fair. As you can imagine, her taunts and controlling nature were becoming more and more unbearable and clear to everyone. The final straw came when she invited me out for lunch saying that she had something important to talk about. I kept trying to cancel the lunch several times, but she begged me saying that it was imperative that we had to meet. When I turned up, she greeted me warmly and we sat down to order our food. I then asked her why she wanted to ask me out for lunch and it was then that Mill asked if I had thought about who our son's godfather would be. I pursed my lips hearing this since I knew she would not like the answer. I carefully explained to her how Sill and I had

discussed this and we were each other's children's godparents. Mill burst out crying in the middle of the restaurant hearing this and started yelling about how I could do this to her. She said Sill had her family and I should make her my son's godmother since she had every right to take care of my son as his grandparent. I reminded her how she thought Sill was better equipped. than me so naturally, she should be happy that my son would be taken care of well by her, but Mill argued back that only she could be trusted and I should make her my son's godparent. Her ridiculous demands were starting to get on my nerves and I told her firmly that we were done discussing this and that if she wanted she could discuss this with my husband later,

I did tell Sil regarding my lunch and she didn't like how Mill didn't want her to be our son's godparent. My husband also didn't understand why my Mill was behaving this way and kept ignoring her calls. Last week, Sil gave birth to her daughter and she had asked me to be in the delivery room for support since I've been through this. I happily obliged and was there with her throughout the night while my husband and my mother took care of our son at home. In the morning, after Sil had given birth and I made sure her boyfriend was there to take over the duties, I left to come back home and rest. Throughout the day, I received calls from Mill but I was too tired to talk with her and was busy spending time with my son. In the evening, my husband who had gone to check on his sister came back home amused. I thought he was happy to meet his nephew, but he told me that he was even happier for another news.

This is when he revealed that apparently, Sill, tired of Mill's toxic behavior, took a stand and decided to implement a no-contact rule between Mill and her daughter. He told me how when Mill showed up at the hospital unannounced, Sill asked the nurses to refuse to let her in. Only Phil was allowed inside to meet the baby since Sil didn't want her mother's judgments about her daughter. This was shocking and quite unexpected as I had never imagined that Sil would stand up to Mill this way. This also made me realize why Mill had been calling me the whole day. She was perhaps trying to either blame me or persuade me to convince Sil to see her granddaughter. When I talked with Sil later, I found out that this decision came after witnessing the extent of Mill's actions towards me all these years. The decision to go no contact was a necessary boundary to protect her daughter from Mill's toxic influence.

It was a moment of reckoning for Mill as the consequences of her actions finally came crashing down. The fallout has been severe, and Mill is completely cut off from her daughter's life, unable to witness the precious moments of her grandchild's early days. Since then, I have started to think if it would be the right decision for us as well to cut off Mill permanently. Would it be too cruel? Update 1. Hello everyone. First off, I just want to thank you all for your kind words and advice. It means a lot to me. I didn't think this would get as much attention as quickly as it did. My husband and I have not had any contact with Mill since we found out that Sill has cut her off. She continues to call us, but we ignore them. I discussed with my husband what I was thinking and we agreed that for our mental peace, it would be better for us to cut her out permanently since there is no guarantee that she won't behave the way she behaves with me with our son. To everyone asking why we waited for so long, you have to understand that my husband is the oldest who grew up in this toxic upbringing so he never

really saw how wrong this all was until his mother started misbehaving with me. My husband has always supported me and protected me yet his mother is just too much to handle. Hence, we set up a group video call with his sister and Phil where we discussed our decision and they are on our side. Now we just need to inform Mill about our decision. Update 2. If your eyeballs are itching for an update then you better sit down. It's a bit long. My husband decided to go to call his mother and tell her about our decision yesterday evening. When she first picked up the call, she started screaming at him about how long it had been since he had talked with her and that she wanted to meet our son immediately. My husband remained quiet until she was done with her demands and then gently let her know about how she was right and that he needed to step.

up and be more of a man. Mill immediately agreed saying how this is what she had wanted from him all along, but my husband interrupted her saying that as a man of our family, he had decided to cut her off from us permanently to protect us from her toxic ideology and drama. My Mill was dumbfounded at first hearing this, perhaps trying to process what he had just spoken, and then when she understood the severity of our decision, she started saying how she was coming over to meet us and that nothing could stop us from meeting with her grandson. My husband immediately warned her that we wouldn't let her in, and we would call the police on her for trespassing on our property. She then started screaming that this was probably my decision and that I was tearing the family

apart. My husband told her to think whatever she wanted, but he was done with her, but she continued to scream how this is why he should have never married a woman like me and that she knew I was bad news all along. My husband got pissed, naturally. He reminded her that we were not the only ones cutting off contact and that Sill has done the same thing, so the issue is clearly her and she needs to start accepting that. Mill, as usual, kept arguing back that I had polluted the minds of everyone and that I had successfully taken her children away from her. My husband exasperatedly told her that if she wanted to blame someone then she should blame

herself for not only being a bitter person but also a racist. He said that everyone was just done with her and she needed to come to terms with her own evil actions. This shut my mill up and he blocked her after their conversation. I have done the same. I have also informed my family about the situation and to not pick up Mills calls for now. I feel bad for my husband and Sill for not having a supportive mother, but I am also glad that I won't ever have to go through such shitty situations ever again. Update 3. It's been two months since my last update and I am happy to update that our son is doing well.

Sill and I continue to remain close and we regularly meet up so our babies can have playdates. It is adorable to see how they are bonding and I hope that they continue to be each other. best friends as they grow up. Also, another happy update is that Sill is finally getting married to her baby daddy as we all knew that she would. Now coming on to the main update, we continue to be no contact with Mill. To everyone who was concerned about our safety, don't worry we have cameras installed everywhere and we did change our lock so there is no way that Mill can ever disturb us.

I doubt that she will ever confront us publicly since by now a lot of people know exactly why we cut her off so she must be definitely embarrassed. After we cut off all contact with her, she did try to persuade Phil to talk with us, but he refused and let her know that he was getting sick of her too. I guess when her own husband told her this, it might have finally made her think because a few weeks later, she asked Phil to tell us how sorry she was for everything that she had done to me. I doubt that she genuinely feels apologetic, which is why we continue to not talk with her until today. Phil and my family continue to visit us and bond with our grandchild, which is how it is going to be in the near future. I hope you enjoy this story. My guardians expelled me and renounced me

eight years ago for selecting university over their family enterprise, but now that I'm prosperous and their enterprise is floundering due to my choices. Brothers gambling, they suddenly want me back. Eight years ago my parents owned a small restaurant that had been in our family for two generations, and they always talked about how one day it would pass down to the next generation and keep the family legacy going. My older brother Clark was always the favorite child and got praised for everything he did while I was constantly compared to him and told I needed to work harder to measure up to his standards. When I graduated high school, my parents sat me down and told me I needed to start working at the restaurant immediately to learn the business from the ground up and that Clark would eventually take over as the main owner, but I would have a small stake in it if I proved myself worthy over the years. I had already gotten accepted to a good college with a partial scholarship and wanted to study computer science because I was really good with technology and had been teaching myself programming since I was in middle school.

My parents said college was a waste of money and that the restaurant would provide everything I needed in life and that I was being selfish for wanting to abandon the family business that had supported us for so many years years. Clark had dropped out of community college after one semester and had been working at the restaurant for three years already and my parents kept saying he was a natural at running. the business and dealing with customers and managing the staff. I told them I wanted to go to college and that I would work part-time at the restaurant during breaks and summers, but that I wanted to have my own career and not just work for my brother for the rest of my life. My dad got really angry and said I was being ungrateful and that Clark deserved to inherit the business because he had shown dedication and loyalty while I was trying to run away from my responsibilities. The arguments went on for weeks

and got worse every day and my parents kept bringing up how much money they had spent raising me and how I owed them for all the sacrifices they had made and that working in the family business was the least I could do to pay them back. Clark kept telling me I was being stupid and that college would just fill my head with useless ideas and that I would never make as much money as I could make working with the family.

My girlfriend at the time supported my decision to go to college and my parents said she was a bad influence and was turning me against my family. When I refused to change my mind and told them I was going to college no matter what they said my parents told me that if I left for college I shouldn't bother coming back home and that they would consider me dead to them. I thought they were just trying to scare me and that they would calm down after a few

days, but when I came home from my graduation party, they had packed all my stuff in boxes and left them on the front porch. My dad handed me an envelope with $500 and said that was all I would ever get from them and that I was no longer their son and that I was not welcome in their house anymore. I moved in with my girlfriend's family for the summer and then went to college in the fall and worked two part-time jobs to pay for my expenses that the scholarship didn't cover. My parents blocked my phone number and wouldn't respond to any messages I sent them and when I tried to visit during winter break my dad told me through the door that I needed to leave immediately or he would call the police. Clark posted pictures on social media of family dinners and holidays

and vacations and always made sure to caption them with things like family time with the people who matter and grateful for my real family which felt like he was trying to rub it in my face. College was hard because I was working so much and didn't have any financial support from my parents, but I graduated with a degree in computer science and got a job at a tech company right after graduation. I worked my way up over the years and eventually got promoted to a senior developer position and then a teen lead position and I was making really good money and had bought my own house and car. I met my current girlfriend Rose three years ago after a pretty bad breakup from my previous relationship and she's a nurse and we've been living together for the past year and she's been posting

pictures of our trips and our house and us at nice restaurants on social media. I had heard through some relative that the restaurant was struggling because Clark had developed a gambling problem and had been stealing money from the business to pay his debts and that my parents were having trouble keeping up with the bills and the rent. I didn't really keep track of what was happening with them because they had made it clear that I was not part of their family anymore and I had built my own life without them. Last month Rose posted pictures from our vacation to Hawaii and tagged me in them and also posted pictures of the new car I had bought and the renovations we had done to our house. Two weeks after Rose posted those pictures my parents showed up at my front door on a Saturday morning

and started knocking really loudly and calling my name and saying they needed to talk to me. I looked through the peephole and saw both of them standing there and my mom was holding a plate of cookies and my dad had a bouquet of flowers and they both looked older and more tired than I remembered. I didn't open the door and told them through the door that they needed to leave my property immediately and that they had made it clear eight years ago that I was not their son anymore. My mom started crying and saying that they had made a mistake and that they wanted to fix things and that they missed me and wanted me to come home and be part of the family again. My dad said they had seen how successful I had become and how happy I looked in the pictures

and that they were proud of me and wanted to celebrate my achievements with me. I told them that it was too late and that they couldn't just show up after eight years and expect everything to go back to normal and that they needed to leave before I called the police. They wouldn't leave and kept knocking and my mom kept crying and saying she just wanted to see her son and that she had been miserable for the past eight years without me. My dad started talking about how the restaurant was in trouble and how they needed my help to save it and how we could all work together as a family to turn things around. That's when I realized they didn't actually want me back because they missed me but because they had seen that I was successful and they thought I could solve their financial problems. I called the police and told them that my parents were on my property and refusing to leave. leave after I had asked them multiple times to go away and that I wanted them removed immediately.

The police showed up about 15 minutes later and talked to my parents and told them they needed to leave and not come back unless I invited them. My mom was still crying and begging the police officer to let her talk to me and my dad was arguing with the officer and saying that I was their son and they had a right to see me. The police officer told them that I was an adult and had the right to decide who I wanted on my property and that they could be arrested for trespassing if they came back without my permission. The police officer gave me a report number and told me to call them again if my parents came back and that I could file for a restraining order if the harassment continued. Update 1. Three days after the police removed my parents from my property Clark and his

wife, Iris. Yes, he got married during the previous eight years and I wasn't even invited to the wedding. They showed up at my door in the evening while I was eating dinner with Rose. I heard the doorbell ring and saw through the peephole that it was Clark and Iris and Clark looked really nervous and kept running his hands through his hair and Iris was standing behind him with her arms crossed. I opened the door but kept the security chain on and asked them what they wanted and Clark said they just wanted to talk to me for a few minutes about the situation with our parents. I told them I didn't want to talk about our parents and that I had made my position clear when I called the police on them and that they needed to leave.

Iris pushed forward and said that our parents were heartbroken and that they hadn't been eating or sleeping since the police incident and that they just wanted their son back and couldn't understand why I was being so cruel to them. Clark said that our parents had sent them because they thought I might be more willing to listen to him since we were brothers and that he wanted to help fix the family. I told them that the family was broken eight years ago when our parents threw me out and that I wasn't interested in fixing anything now just because their business was failing and they thought I could help them financially. Clark's face got red and he said I was being selfish and that I should help family no matter what had happened in the past and that our

parents had made mistakes but they were willing to admit they were wrong now. Iris said that our parents were getting older and that I would regret not having a relationship with them when they were gone and that I was throwing away the only family I had over a silly argument from years ago. I started to close the door and Clark pushed against it and said I needed to listen to him and that I owed it to our parents to at least hear them out and give them a chance to apologize properly. I told him to get his hand off my door and that I didn't owe anyone anything and that our parents had made their choice. Clark started yelling that I was a being a spoiled brat and that I had always thought I was better than everyone else and that our

parents were right to choose him over me because he actually cared about family. Rose came to the door and told Clark and Iris that they needed to leave and that they were disturbing our neighbors and Clark turned to her and said that she needed to mind her own business and that this was between family members. Rose said that I was her family now and that she wasn't going to let them harass me in my own home and that she would call the police if they didn't leave immediately. Iris grabbed Clark's arm and tried to pull him away from the door. and said they should go, but Clark shook her off and kept yelling at me. Clark said that our parents had sacrificed everything for us and that the restaurant was failing

because he had made some bad decisions, but that we could say that if we all worked together and that I was being selfish by not helping when I clearly had money to spare. I told him that his gambling problem was not my responsibility and that I wasn't going to bail out a business that had never been meant for me anyway and that our parents had made it clear that the restaurant was his inheritance not mine. Clark said I was lying and that our parents had always planned for both of us to work together and that I had ruined everything by leaving for college. The argument kept getting louder and Clark was standing in my doorway and wouldn't move and Iris was trying to calm him down, but he kept yelling about how I had abandoned the family and how our parents were suffering because of my selfishness.

I told him that our parents were suffering because they had raised a son who stole money from their business to pay gambling debts and that maybe they should focus on getting him help instead of trying to drag me back into their drama. Clark got even angrier and said that his gambling wasn't that bad and that he had just made a few mistakes and that the real problem was that I had left and broken our parents' hearts. Rose stepped between us and told Clark that he needed to leave right now and that she was going to call the police and Clark said he wasn't afraid of the police and that he had every right to talk to his brother. I told him that I wasn't his brother anymore. Clark started crying and saying that he never wanted our parents to disown me and that he had tried to convince them to let me come back but they had been too stubborn and proud to address. admit they were wrong. I told him that he had never tried to help me and that he had posted on social media about how grateful he was for his real family and that he had enjoyed being the only son for the past eight years so he shouldn't pretend like he cared about me now. Clark said those

posts weren't about me and that he had just been trying to make our parents feel better after I left and that he had always hoped I would come back someday. Iris finally managed to pull them away from the door and said they were leaving and that maybe we could all talk when everyone was calmer. Clark kept yelling as Iris dragged him down the driveway and said that I would regret this and that family was supposed to forgive each other and that I was making a huge mistake by not giving our parents another chance. I closed the door and locked it and Rose hugged me and said she was proud of me for standing up for myself and not letting them guilt me into doing something I didn't want to do. We could hear Clark yelling in the street for a few more minutes before Iris got him into their car and they drove away. Update 2 The next morning I woke up to a bunch of notifications on my phone and saw that several of my friends had tagged me in comments on social media.

I checked Clark's profile and saw that he had posted a long rant about our argument the night before and Iris had posted a video that she had apparently recorded on her phone while we were arguing. The video showed Clark standing at my door and you could hear him yelling about family and asking me to help our parents and then it showed me closing the door on him and you could hear Rose telling them to leave. Clark had written a post that said he had tried to reach out to his estranged brother to help heal their family and that I had been cruel and heartless and refused to even listen to him talk about our parents who were suffering and needed help. He said that I had become cold and selfish since I got money and that I had forgotten where I came from and that I was choosing my pride over my family. The post had dozens of comments from people who didn't know the whole story saying that I was wrong and that I should forgive my parents and help them in their time of need. Iris had posted the video with a caption about how heartbreaking it was to watch a family be torn apart

and how she couldn't understand how someone could turn their back on their parents who just wanted to reconcile and make things right. The video made it look like Clark was just trying to have a calm conversation and that I was being unreasonable by not letting him in and by threatening to call the police. You couldn't really hear everything that was being said because the video was taken from outside and the sound quality wasn't very good but it definitely made me look bad. I was really angry that they had recorded our private conversation without telling me and that they were trying to make me look like the bad guy when they were the ones who had shown up at my house uninvited and refused to leave when I asked them to. Rose was furious and said that Iris had no right to record us and post it online without our permission and that we should report the video for violating our privacy. I didn't want to get into a big social media drama but I was upset that people who didn't know anything about the situation were judging me based on a video that didn't show the whole story. My friend Sam, who I had known since college, saw the post and the video, and he commented asking Clark why he didn't mention that our parents had disown me eight years ago and thrown me out of the house when I wanted to go to college. Sam said that it was convenient that Clark was leaving out the part about how our parents had blocked my phone number and refused to see me for almost a decade and that now they only wanted me back because their business was failing and they thought I could help them financially.

More of my friends started commenting and sharing their own stories about family members who had cut them off and then tried to come back when they needed something and they all said that I was doing the right thing by setting boundaries and not letting my parents back into my life just because they wanted something from me. The comments section turned into a big argument between my friends who were defending me and people who knew Clark and Iris who were saying that family should always forgive each other and that I was being petty and vindictive. Clark started responding to the comments and getting into arguments with my friends and he kept saying that they didn't understand the situation and that I was lying about what had really happened eight years ago. He said that our parents had never really disowned me and that I had just left on my own and refused to come back home. Clark got more and more defensive as more people called him out and he started deleting comments and blocking people who were disagreeing with him. Iris stopped responding to comments after my friend started pointing out that she had been married to Clark for less than two years and didn't know anything about what. what had happened when I was in high school. The post started getting shared by more people and the comments section became a mess of arguments between people who supported me and people

who thought I should forgive my family. By the afternoon, Clark had deleted the entire post in the video because too many people were calling him out and pointing out the holes in his story and he was getting embarrassed by all the negative attention. He sent me a private message saying that he hadn't meant for things to get so out of hand and that he just wanted to help our parents but that he was sorry for posting about our argument online. I didn't respond to his message because I didn't want to encourage him to keep trying to contact me and I was still angry that he had tried to make me look bad on social media in the first place. Update 3. Two days after Clark deleted his social media post my mom called my work number and somehow got transferred to my direct

line even though I had never given my work information to any of my family members. I was in the middle of a meeting when my phone rang. My mom started crying as soon as I said, hello and said that she had gotten my work number from the company website and that she was sorry for bothering me but she needed to talk to me about what had happened with Clark's social media post. She said that she and my dad had no idea that Clark was going to post about our argument online and that they were embarrassed and upset that he had tried to make me look bad when they were the ones who had made mistakes in the past. My mom said that Clark had told them about his post after my friend started commenting and that my dad had been angry with Clark for making the situation worse

and for trying to manipulate people on social media. She said that they had told Clark and Iris not to contact me anymore and that they wanted to apologize for sending them to my house in the first place. I told my mom that I was at work and couldn't have personal conversations during business hours and that she needed to stop calling me and leave me alone. My mom said that she understood I was angry but that she just wanted me to know that they weren't trying to manipulate me or use me for money and that they genuinely wanted to have a relationship with me again

because they missed me and regretted what they had done. She said that they had been talking to a counselor about the situation and that they realized they had made terrible mistakes and that they wanted to make things right even if it took years to rebuild our relationship. I told her that I wasn't interested in rebuilding our relationship and that I had moved on with my life and didn't need them anymore and that they had lost the right to be my parents when they threw me out. My mom started crying harder and said that she knew they deserved my anger

but that they hoped someday I would be willing to forgive them and give them a chance to prove that they had changed. She said that they weren't asking for money or help with the restaurant and that they just wanted to be part of my life again and get to know the person I had become. I told her that if she really wanted to prove she had changed, she would respect my wishes and stop contacting me and that calling my work number was inappropriate

and could get me in trouble with my boss. My mom said she was sorry for calling me at work, but that she didn't know how else to reach me since I had blocked their phone numbers and that she was desperate to fix things between us. I told her that I had blocked. their numbers for a reason and that I didn't want to be contacted by any of them and that if they kept trying to reach me I would file for a restraining order. My mom got quiet for a minute and then said that she didn't want things to get to that point and that she would tell my dad and Clark

that they needed to leave me alone and not try to contact me anymore. I told her that I was serious about the restraining order and that I had already filed a police report when they showed up at my house and that I had documentation of their harassment and that a judge would definitely grant the order if I asked for one. My mom said she understood and that she would make sure everyone in the family knew not to contact me and that they would respect my decision even though it was breaking their hearts. I told her that I had to get back to work and that this was the last time I would accept a call from any of them and that if they tried to contact me again I would immediately file for the restraining order and have them arrested for violating it. My mom said she understood

and that she loved me and that she would always love me even if she never got to see me again and then she hung up. I was shaking after the phone call because I hadn't heard my mom's calm and loving voice in eight years and it brought back a lot of memories. I talked to my boss after the meeting and explained that I was having some family issues and that someone might try to call me at work again and that I would appreciate it if my calls could be screened and that only work-related calls should be transferred to my direct line. My boss said that HR could help me set up call screening and that I should let them know

if anyone showed up at the office trying to see me. I also talked to building security and gave them pictures of my parents and Clark and Iris and told them not to let any of them into the building if they showed up. I decided to be proactive and went to the courthouse the next day to get information about filing for a restraining order so that I would be prepared if my family tried to contact me again. The clerk gave me all the paperwork and explained the process and said that based on what I told her about them showing up at my house and refusing to leave and then calling my work I would probably qualify for a temporary restraining order. She said that the temporary order would be

granted immediately and then there would be a hearing where a judge would decide whether to make it permanent. I filled out all the paperwork but didn't file it yet because I wanted to give my family one more chance to leave me alone like my mom had promised. I sent my mom a text message from a number she didn't recognize and told her that I had gone to the courthouse and filled out restraining order paperwork and that it was ready to file and that if anyone in the family contacted me again I would file it immediately. I told her that this was her last warning and that I was serious about protecting myself from their harassment. My mom texted back within an hour and said that she had talked to my dad and Clark and Iris and that they all understood and promised never to contact me

again and that they would tell any other family members or friends not to reach out to me either. She said that they were going to respect my wishes and leave me alone even though it was painful for them and that they hoped someday in the future I might change my mind but that they wouldn't pressure me or try to force a relationship. She said that she was proud of the person I had become and that she was sorry for all the pain they had caused me. I didn't respond to her text message because I didn't want to encourage any more communication, but I felt relieved that they finally seemed to understand that I was serious about not wanting them in my life. It's been three weeks since my mom called my work and none of them have tried to contact me since then

and I haven't seen any social media posts about me or the situation. I still have the restraining order paperwork ready to file just in case, but it seems like they finally got the message that I'm not going to change my mind and that there will be legal consequences if they don't leave me alone. Rose and I have been talking about maybe moving to a different city in a year or two just to get a fresh start and make sure my family can't find us, but for now things seem to have calmed down and I'm hoping they will continue to respect my boundaries and leave me alone like they promised.

I hope you enjoy this story. Invested all of my savings into supporting my unemployed partner as he pursued his aspirations. After 12 months and $25,000 later, I decided to end our financial arrangement when he claimed that I was his soulmate. Using him My boyfriend and I started dating in July of 2014. He is the biggest optimist in the world and lived a pretty cushy life as the only child of divorced parents. We both lived separately and had jobs that covered all our bills and then some. He bought an expensive sports car, gaming computer, and purebred dog.

important later. He was in school, while I had graduated a year before and started work at my first big kid job. Life was great, and the first six months were some of the happiest times of my life. The first week of January 2015, he was wrongfully terminated from his job, a new supervisor was on the warpath to replace everyone on BF's shift with his friends and waited until the new year, after the holiday rush was over, to start cleaning house. Government sided with BF during the unemployment employment claim, and BF started receiving benefits. He decided to focus on finishing school instead of looking for more work. This where the crack started. He was supposed to graduate that May, but he failed a class and couldn't, so he had to go to school in the summer. In June, his savings ran out and he

could either afford his car payment and insurance or rent. His lease was up at the end of July, so I agreed to pay his rent and he could move in with me in July and finish school. He found out weeks before he was supposed to graduate that he needed one particular elective to get out. He had to go to school that fall, too. I demanded he get a job to help with expenses, as I wasn't planning on having to support him for so long. A month or two, fine. Six months? No. He got a job as an insurance agent for an extremely reputable company at the end of July. Turns out this job is commission-based. Being the optimist he is, the manager. The manager talk of being able to make unlimited amounts of money drew him in. I paid for him to take the

certification tests he needed to work, and he started trying to build a client base selling structured financial products. He made and makes nothing. He'll have a $700 payday for a small clothes, then nothing for months. He's out there busting his ass every day, but building a financial client base from scratch without any family privilege or existing networks is ridiculously hard. In September 2015, we downsized from my fancy downtown apartment to a posse house on the edge of the ghetto. I paid the security deposit and double rent at both places for a month as that's how the lease overlaps worked out, totaling about $3,500. By November, my savings was almost gone and I had to liquidate shares of my family trust, on which I took a penalty, as my grandfather did not want us to

access it before age 25, to get us by. By deck, I had $300 in savings and nothing left in my family trust. I had spent about $17,000 since July supporting us, his job, he needed money to take clients out for lunch and coffee, his dog, and my dog. Since September, we had been having recurring fights about money and chores. I expected him to pick up 90% of the housework as his way of paying me back. He never shaped up on either front. He just kept repeating to me the same things that his manager said to him to draw him in. It'll get better. Everyone struggles at first. If you hang on, you'll make it. Once I make it, we'll be rolling in it. Every time we had a fight. Every time. Two weeks before Christmas, we had this fight again and I demanded he do something other

than feed me bullshit inspirational quotes. I left the house in a rage and drove to buy cigarettes. I was thinking of who I should text and ask to crash for the night when I got angry. Fuck no, I'm not crashing on someone's couch while he lives on the house I pay for, sleeps in the bed I pay for, and eats the food I pay for. I returned home and gave him 10 days to pack his shit and get out. He moved into his dad's house, and I spent Christmas morning chilling with my dog and returning his presents online. We started hanging out again in January of this year, and things seemed to be going well for his business, just for him to consider getting an apartment. I told him he could move back in and if we couldn't split expenses evenly at first, he had to get serious about doing chores and sticking to my budget.

It was fine at first, but by April, he wasn't doing any chores and I was back to paying 100% of his and his dog's living expenses. He also was about to not meet quota for that quarter and asked me to sign up for a policy and then reverse it after quarter and so I'd be reimbursed. I lost my shit on him. I work in capital markets, I can't afford to commit financial fraud for him. I told him I've sacrificed enough for him. He can't come for my integrity too. Bonus, the friend who he did rope into doing the reverse policy still hasn't been reimbursed.

Five months later, we had another blowout fight, and he made me. majorly stepped up on the chores front, which has sustained to this day. Money was still touch and go when he didn't get paid, his fancy car aided up every month. He landed a big case in May, and paid his half rent in June for the first time, and offered to pay all of July, which he did. By the second week of July, he was completely broke again, and told me last minute he couldn't pay August rent. I had to scramble to get the cash needed in one account to send the check. He couldn't afford to pay for his half of groceries like he promised either, so that was a scramble too. I'm so sick of this. I work an incredible job for my age, paid off all my college debt eight

months after graduation, and own my car, yet I'm living paycheck to paycheck supporting him. There's always something, even if it's a legitimate something, that keeps him from paying his half. It's been a fucking year and there hasn't even been marginal improvement. His job is meant for filthy rich trust fund kids who can afford to be this broke. while they build their client base. I admire his optimism, but he's not suffering for listening to it. I am. I have enabled him far too long and after the most recent fight about money,

I realized he is too immature to be trying his hand at this job. He complains when he meets with clients that spend their money on cars and trips and toys instead of buying a policy from him. When he blew his money on a car and a gaming PC when he had a steady paying job. He has no problem having regular. Circular fights with me yet won't ask his parents for help because that would be awkward and I don't want to lose, his father's respect. He's hurt that I don't trust his promises when he's barely kept any of them. From his graduation date to his bills to chores.

He is too immature to see the larger picture and because I've been enabling him to a fault. He has never needed to because the consequences don't fall on him. They fall on me. Last night, I told him I'm not renewing the lease and I'm moving out by myself. He followed me around the house pleading with me and asking me questions. How do you feel about me? What about us? Where will I go? What will it take for you to let me come with you? Questions I have answered every single. Fight. Questions he needs to answer because it's his fucking life. I refused to answer them again and went to bed. He stood in the doorway and said that stupid Marilyn Monroe

quote about not deserving people at their best if you can't handle them at your worst. I said he was totally allowed to feel that way and walk. He shut himself in the computer room and slept on the couch that night. I can't believe he feels like I'm abandoning him after all I've done. He doesn't understand how hurtful it is when he tries to pay his half of rent and bills by spouting off platitudes about struggle and success. It makes me feel so fucking disrespected and I have told him this every fight. and despite having this fight regularly, it's like he's not even listening to me. Why would he?

I haven't made myself worthy of respect by being his financial doormat and not sticking to my boundaries. At this point, I feel he is using me as a safety net. He knows I won't let him or his dog starve so he doesn't make himself care about coming up with the money for food. He is deluded by his optimism so much so that he breaks every optimistic promise he makes to me. He talks about how he thinks a client will buy an expensive plan, but then they get the cheap one and now he can't pay rent. He talks about how he met loads of people at a networking event, but only three call him back and he needs money to take them out. He says he's set to get 40% enrollment on a corporate contract, but only gets 11% so he can't pay for groceries this week. I used to think he was lying to

me, but now I see he's lying to himself. He hasn't matured at all and grounded his expectations in reality because I've been standing in the way of it. Because of this, I don't trust him to give me a realistic end date to supporting him, because he'll probably be wrong about that too. And now that I'm done being his Atlas and holding his world together, he's starting to panic. It bothers me so fucking much that he didn't take me seriously until I let the hammer drop on him, as it should have been in the beginning. The irony is not lost on me that he's a broke financial advisor. I miss the first six months of this relationship, when he had a job that paid well enough to cover up his financial immaturity, I could have taught him a few things that might have stuck instead of picking up all

the slack and mommy the ever-living fuck out of him. I miss going to sit down dinners and football games and movies with him. I miss The Fiend I had a month after I met him, where I knew I would marry him. Now I'm not sure at all. I'm sad I love him. It's a burdensome tether instead of the inner flame it used to be. And maybe this is my own fatal optimism speaking, but that guy is still there, buried underneath all this bullshit. He just has to grow the fuck out of it and take his own risks to learn his own lessons. I can't even explain how badly I want the guy I met back. I'm tearing up writing this. I agreed to him moving back in this year because, according to him, he only needed a few more months to make it and be stable, and I wanted that for him so badly

so we could go back to enjoying life together. My hope is hamstringing me, just like it's doing to him. Can our relationship survive now that I'm seriously taking steps to ensure it doesn't bankrupt me? Or am I being stupid and thinking anything will change? Will he move in with his dad and just get him to be the new enabler? What am I doing wrong that's preventing him from understanding how I feel? Comments where Op has replied, commenter one. No, you couldn't have.

people have to want to learn for lessons to stick i understand why you're having trouble walking away because his strengths and weaknesses are so closely tied but you'd be making the exact same mistake he is by staying doubling down on a bad decision because you're convinced you can turn it around with just a little more time and investment he can't and you can't either stop feeding into the sunk cost fallacy and go poop this is so true i'm a realist from an abusive home so he was such a bright light of positivity when I met him. Now it's burning me. You're so right about me making the same mistake.

I know what I have to do. It's going to suck doing it, but... I'm worth it, to myself at least. Comment or two. There's no hope. You cannot change anyone but yourself. He's the only one who can change himself. Instead of changing, he's doubling down on a philosophy that has proven to be a failure.

Why isn't he getting another job? Even if he can't let himself kill this dream and quit, he can at least work a second job. One that would actually pay minimum wage. Boop. Bill has office hours during the day and it infuriates me that they don't pay him for that. He can't get a second job for that reason as he's meeting clients before and after common working hours. He can't even be an Uber driver because his fancy car is on the restricted cars list, and fuck if he's going to take my car too.

I hate his stupid fucking car so much. It represents how financially immature he is, because he didn't even use his money wisely when he had it and continues to butt-fuck him to this day. Did I mention he hasn't paid taxes or registered it either because he doesn't have the money? Not sure who will be paying that inevitable ticket, but it sure as hell won't be me.

Update, well a lot has happened since I made my first post. I guess I'll address it sequential. since that's how I'm operating right now, moment to moment. After I made that post, I decided to truly cut him off. I changed the Wi-Fi password, froze the credit card I gave him, applied to close our joint accounts, and threw out any gifts I ever gave him. We were planning on attending a dork convention over Labor Day, in Atlanta, for those familiar with the con scene, that I had budgeted paying for both of us over a year ago. I told him he couldn't go unless he paid for his half of the hotel and tickets, $600. Not sure why I did this

instead of shooting straight and admitting he was out of his gourd if he thought he could go. Shouldn't have played any games but I'm kind of glad I did because he told me he'd have $1,000 to me by the end of August. Over text two, in writing. I was floored. Suddenly he can come up with money for a weekend of partying and a chance to reel me back in? I said I would apply that to August bills, then he could start paying down the rest of the $25,000 he owed me for supporting him this past year before he could spend his money on luxuries like out-of-state vacations. This was over text, and he never responded, and slept on the couch again that night. That was a Friday. Saturday morning, he left the house around 9 a.m. with his dog,

leaving all of his crap in my house. I piled all of his and his dog's stuff under his desk and got rid of any pictures of him around the house. I blocked him everywhere but Facebook and text. I went to two rental house showings, loved one of them and the landlord, put a deposit down that day, went on multiple walks with my dog as well as a long trip to the dog park and celebrated slash vented slash drank wine through Twizzlers

with my next door neighbor and her boyfriend. XBF never returned that night. Sunday, I spent the day working on cosplays and outfits for the convention as well as goofing off with my neighbor. and dog. It was lovely. I kept waiting for this wave of sadness and regret to hit me, but it never did. He had been out for 24 hours and his name wasn't on the lease. I texted him that his claim to residency was gone, and he needed to come get his things with 24 hours notice. He said he was coming that night. I said 24 hours notice. He agreed to Monday evening. Monday, he picks up his stuff

in his father's truck and gives me back the key. Hours after he left, he added a song to our shared YouTube playlist, Say Something by a Great Big World. I added Gravity by Sarah Borellis and Two Good by Drake, then removed his access to the playlist the next morning. Yay middle school communication methods. Wednesday his best friend texts me like nothing is wrong. Thursday, I text my ex about when I can expect his check in the mail.

He doesn't respond. Friday morning, I email him. At this point, as far as I can tell, he's gone no contact with me. I send him one last email a day later basically stating that, and he asks me to coffee Sunday night. We met up for coffee. He never mentions repayment at all but in the discussion about our feelings, we both felt the same way about this. Betrayed, abandoned, hurt and distrustful of the other person. He felt I had lied when I said I was fine supporting him and basically insinuated that I wouldn't

want to be repaid if I believed in us because otherwise I was actually loaning him money under the guise of love and setting him up to fail. When I realized he felt just as used as me because I cut him off from my money, I knew I was done. My stomach sank like a weight. I let him finish talking, then we parted ways. He asked if he could contact me, I said I needed a break. The next day I emailed him about the $1,000 he promised me and reminded him he never discussed repayment at our meeting. didn't respond for days, then the day I was set to leave town for the convention, he replies saying the money was on the way. Cool, it can sit in my mailbox for five days while I'm out of state. Also, during this time he was telling mutual friends we were going through a rough patch yet my friends

were finding him on Tinder and OKC. I partied my tail off for the entire convention and when I came back, the check was in an unpostmarked envelope in my mailbox. I cashed it and sent him an email telling him such an ass that he used snail mail for future repayments instead of trespassing on my property when he knows I won't be home. I seriously wonder if he was looking for the spare key I left with the dog sitter. So creepy. He replied to that email with some mushy I love you and I know I fucked up things claiming he is too nice and can't say no and his urge to help others makes him neglect himself and he needs to work on that. It was the most laughable apology on earth. I was so nice and helpful that I couldn't stop myself from draining you of all your money and energy.

My bad. I replied you broke my heart and my bank account. It will be a long time before they're both fixed, and my then I hope I won't be stupid enough to trust you with them a third time. I will be responding to emails about repayment, otherwise good luck with everything. He replied, if I could take everything back that I did, I would. I love you, name. With all my heart.

I could have prevented it all. I could have taken action. But I let you slip away. And that'll be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I'm truly sorry for hurting you. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I moved out of the house we lived into a similar one a few streets away.

Moving helped keep me busy enough to not think about this. I threw out all our mementos and pictures and shit in the process, so everything in the new place is all me. Just me. Now I'm settled in and it feels like it hasn't hit me that it's over. I thought I would be crushed, and there were some lonely moments at the convention that caught me up enough to need a cigarette,

but I just feel humiliated. I don't even have the urge to check his Instagram. Every time I see a picture of him, it just reminds me of how stupid and naive I am for thinking he was my one. I'm also super distrustful of my feelings now because of that. It wasn't a question of him. in my mind when I met him that we'd be together forever. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him,

like my name, like a fact. I see cute people out or have great conversations, but I have no desire for anything more because I feel like my feelings aren't trustworthy enough to merit acting on them. They led me so far astray last time. But that's it, I guess. It's over and life is going on. Comment where OP has replied. Commenter one, I remember seeing your original post. and wondering to myself what would happen. You handled this masterfully, and it's obvious you are much better off mentally and emotionally for dropping him from your life. You just sound happier in your writing, and for that I'm glad for you.

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Smile O.P. Thanks. It creeps me out how quickly he became a stranger, right in front of my eyes. Anyway, the convention was helpful for jump-starting the old single-bitch thing again, Aha. That's the path I'll be on for a bit. I hope you enjoy this story. I, a 16-year-old individual, have a four-month-old daughter, and my partner wishes to pursue higher education, which concerns me. In advance of any comments, I was aware of contraceptive measures. Just dumb. Story time. My parents divorced when I was 10 but lived primarily with my mom. Tiffany's, 16,

parents are together. When our parents found out she was pregnant, her parents kicked her out and my mom kicked me out. So now we live with my dad. During the pregnancy my dad took my mom to court and got primary sole custody. I know what this means because I had to go to court for my daughter. He sued Tiffany's parents for legal guardianship and they now pay child support for her and they are pissed and refused to talk to us. I am in my bedroom and my daughter is in her bedroom and my ex is in the guest room that is now hers. My dad made a deal with us. We live with him until 18 with no rent payment at 18.

We need to decide what it is we do. I wasn't really that good in school and Tiffany is an A student. So I took my GED and my dad got me into welding school. I finish in two months. I also work full time so I do welding school at night. Tiffany goes to school and works on the weekends at Wendy's. This whole thing is a huge ordeal. We literally have no life.

My dad helps but not that much because he feels it's our responsibility which I agree but still sucks. I work 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. at a warehouse and go to school from 6 p.m. to 10 p.m. Tiffany is home by 230 and picks up our daughter from daycare. We help each other a lot and then I head off to school and she stays with her at home until I get home and do it all over again day after. day. When our daughter was born, my dad made us go to court. We have 50 to 50 and I don't pay child support because she lives with us. Because I work full time I can get health care for my daughter and myself and that sucks it cost me $300 a month and daycare is $400 a week. Literally Tiffany works just so we can pay for daycare and I pay for everything else. When we are

short for cash my dad will help because he sees we are trying. My dad has been our rock. When we are tired and exhausted he will step in and give us a break here and there, but he makes sure we have everything we need and keeps us motivated. Tiffany wants to apply to college soon and I am worried because I don't want to keep living with her and I don't think I can keep our daughter full-time as a welder working 12-hour shifts. But she says she will start at community college and work but wants to stay with us living together since it's easier. Since I will be working and it will be best for us to stay with my dad. But my dad said at 18 we have to pay rent. She doesn't mind but I don't want to keep living with her because we aren't together. I am unsure how to tell her this.

My dad thinks she should stay with us as long as she is a full-time student to finish her degree because I'm already getting my career. I just feel that all this is unfair because the burden is on me. I guess I am ranting because I am scared and unsure of what all this means. Edit. I guess my thing about her living with us is that we are more like siblings now. We get along and joke and stuff, but since she is my ex I feel weirded out by it. Maybe I need to take a breather since everyone is saying it's a good thing. Also I needed to hear it from other people and not just my dad and he is pretty solid and I should

thank him maybe take him for dinner or something. Second edit, my dad isn't kicking us out at 18, but he wants us to be realistic to the world and pay bills. The money he gets from Tiffany's parents he just gives it to her. She is saving up money for a car and uses other money for her specific foods and clothes. Before I became a dad, my dad always wanted me to live with him at 18 and figure it out and stay with him and save money to buy a house. When he found out I was going to be a dad, he wasn't mad but disappointed and said everything has to change. He also is paying for my welding school of 20K and he bought me my car but I do have to pay my own insurance.

He does help as long as he sees we are trying and not being lazy. When school recently started he took my daughter to daycare every morning and helped Tiffany with a routine to get school work done. Final edit. I have to get to class now. Tiffany wants to be a nurse or PA but the college told her nursing school is hard to get into and it's best to have a high school diploma which is why she is still in high school and working the weekends. But someone mentioned a dual thing for community college and we will look into that. So we couldn't get daycare assistance because we are minors and they used my dad's salary. The funny thing is I can't open a checking account for myself because I am a minor but the bank allowed me to open a children's account for my daughter because I am her parent, LOLL the irony.

I read every single comment and it's given me a different P.O.5 and one guest college seems so far and I was counting years but it's really not that bad. She is like a sister now and those who asked I doubt we will get back together. Honestly, I am not thinking about anything like that right now. I am too tired to think of a relationship or that type of future. Update I-16M have a four-month-old daughter, XGF, wants to go to college. I'd quite feel like I need to update but here it goes. Tiff and my dad went to the school and were able to get her enrolled in college courses because of her grades. She won't graduate HS way too fast, but she will have enough to finish her. HHS hours by next December so six months early. She reapplied for assistance we got a voucher for daycare so now it's $50 a week.

She quit her job so she can focus on school but she doesn't start college until spring so that's cool it gives her some time. She still wants to be a nurse so that's cool too. I got a new job that pays more as a forklift operator and will give me an internship for welding which I won't be able to start until November slash December until I finish my classes and then I have to do a two-month internship, but they are paying me really good. I started Monday. My dad and I had a long talk about my fears and he reassured me that it's okay to be scared, but we have a game plan. He is fixing up the basement to make two bedrooms and a living room

like a little apartment because he said Tiff and I will need space as we grow. He wants me to buy the house when I am 18 like he did with his parents and he will help me pay it as long as Tiff gets to stay until she finishes college and let her make her own choice. We all agreed this is the best option and we are all really much happier now. I guess I just needed to let it out. Tiff and I are great while being parents is hard but it's been good now that we feel a bit more secure. My mom and Tiff's parents still haven't spoken to us because we aren't married. Which does make me sad but it's okay we have my dad.

Tiff's grandparents bought her a car and said that's all they can do for her and not to contact them again until we are married. The car needs some work, but I'm going to pay for it to fix it up. It needs brakes, suspension and some regular maintenance. My dad finally told me what all happened and I didn't know, but it made me open my eyes to all of this. My dad met my mom in HS2 and they were together and got caught kissing. Since my mom's family are Baptist, they forced my dad to marry her. I didn't know when Missouri parents can marry their kids at 15, which is why my dad has been so protective. They were going to marry Tiff and I because she was pregnant and when my dad stepped and they couldn't do it.

My mom and Tiff's dad went and got a license for us and were going to marry us in their church. I guess I wouldn't have minded marrying Tiff but I would rather do it later, but yeah, that's why they aren't talking to us. My dad did say if that happened he would help us get it annulled, but we have no intentions of speaking to them right now. He explained that Tiff is stuck and while I might be afraid she is even more afraid because she has no one and I'm not. I need to reassure her we are here for her as a family. I guess I couldn't see it that way and it's good that I talked to him. I hugged my dad and I have been hugging him every day now and it's nice it's made us closer. All of this information made me pretty sad and grateful at the same time and it helped Tiff

and I really start talking more. Like we talked but we didn't talk and I didn't know she was scared too we are now doing days for us to be kids as my dad says. So we both hang out with our friends who still talk to us at at least once a week and Tiff and I do a lot of stuff on the weekends now that she doesn't work. Like taking Jelly to the park and going for walks and we did a pumpkin patch. Jelly seems to be happier too and Tiff doesn't seem as tired anymore. Anyway, thanks everyone for the help, tips and encouragement.

I doubt I will update again and just lurk for parenting advice. Edit. Just want to say thanks for thinking I am a great dad but I don't believe it just yet. I depend a lot on my dad to help me. Tiff and I are trying we do take parenting classes that they offer us a lot of advice and we have made friends there which is nice. But I don't think we would be this prepared without my dad. Also TIF is on WIC and we take parenting and co-parenting classes.

It's my dad's rules. Now on to the next story. Story 2. My husband doesn't want to spend time with his family. I've gotten closer to one of my first. our friends and they am now in love with him. I'm not sure this is the best place for this type of thing but if Teresa a better place please point me in the right direction. So, me, F-31, and my husband, M-32, have a four-year-old daughter together. Same old story, great in the beginning,

the usual small arguments and especially since having our daughter Hess way more distant. Would rather spend his time playing video games than spend time with me or our daughter. Oh, and if Hess not playing games. Hess on YouTube on his phone, watching people play games. We have a tight friend group that I married into, so to speak. Fourteen of us. Everyone at least went to high school with each other some went to elementary. I'm the only outsider. Around eight months ago a couple from this group bought a house very close to ours. Naturally our daughters have became closer friends and want to do a lot of things together. So she joined the same dance class as ours.

The class is at 8 a.m. on Saturdays, so the dad takes her. Meet S. M.31. S and I have always gotten along, we met around nine years ago when my husband and I got together. The first week at class we sat together for the hour in the waiting room. It's separate from the hall so we can't actually watch. We usually just sit in awkward silence. S is quite a funny guy so it flew by with his company. The next week Hess there and says Hess going to get a coffee instead of sitting in that room.

I'm welcome to join if him not busy. I agree and we get in his car. We end up stuck in traffic so by the time we get there, Terese, not much time left to sit in and have it so we get it to go and sat for 20 minutes in his car. That's fine. The next week he says Hess doing the same thing. in welcome to join. We go again in this time, I don't know why, but I got very paranoid about it. I asked if we could just get it in the drive-thru and stay in the car again.

He says, sure, and we end up passing his phone between us picking terrible songs from our childhood for the hour. It was actually quite fun. And every week for the past eight months has went like this and I've not told my husband about any of it. I lost my dad a few months ago and my husband just did. didn't care. No compassion. No comforting. Nothing I couldn't believe the man I married was acting this way when I needed him most. I couldn't even cry around him without him huffing and puffing. Hess turned to my outlet during this time and I've cried in his arms several times. Through this he asked how things were at home and I was honest with him and told him I've never

felt more alone than when I'm at home with my husband. Has been amazing putting up with me, and had suggested a marriage counsellor, which I brought to my husband, but he was having none of it. Hess has told me he feels differently about my husband, he had no idea he was like that and has actually made a few comments towards him about it, but as usual, way above my husband's head. I've lost feelings for my husband, and probably did a long time ago, and have fallen for Hess hard. I feel wrecked with guilt, confused, hurt, sad, But all of that goes away when I see his face. I want to add here that in no way has Hess ever been inappropriate to me.

Hess never acted creepy, never said anything suggestable, never caught him staring, nothing at all that would suggest he has alternate motives. But I'm ashamed to admit, the only reason we haven't kissed or had sex is because Hess never made a move. I'm scared because the way he makes me feel I don't think I would say no or pull away. There's been a few times after seeing him when I get home that all I do is wish he did make a move. And that makes me a horrible fucking person. This all sounds crazy for someone I spend an hour with every morning at the weekend, but it's spilled over to other clubs our kids go to.

They'll see him at nursery. I started matching our dog walking time some days so we will see each other. If Terry's an excuse to see him, I'll find it and use it. I know this is bad, and I need to do something about it, but when it comes to it, I never do anything, because I don't want to. Then hours after I'm battling my head telling myself I need to stop and I need to sort my marriage whether that be working on it or separating. I want to tell Hess how I feel, but I don't want to look like a fool. I don't want to scare him. What if it blows up their marriage?

What if our kids can't see each other? What happens to the friend group if this gets out? It's a fucking mess. I don't know what to do because we will still see each other a lot. My husband would never take our daughter to classes so I'm stuck with that. I always do the nursery runs. How can I get over him if Hess everywhere? Update 1.

Seeing as my last post got an overwhelming amount of attention, I thought I would post an update. I want to thank everyone who messaged me privately all from very similar situations. reading through your messages, it's crazy to me how many people seem to be married to the same person. It's given me the strength I needed to make this decision. Those that left not so nice messages. Please think about how your words are going to impact someone. It's very easy to sit behind a computer or phone and type up the horrible things you have. I've had people sending me messages saying I should kill myself.

That my baby should be taken for me. That I'm a whore. That I shouldn't be allowed out in public. I don't deserve those messages. No one does. A lot of people posting here will be in a vulnerable state as it is. There's no need for it and you're the one that comes off looking broken. It'll reiterate here for the people who didn't seem to understand.

I've not slept with S. I've made no moves to do so. I haven't kissed S, and have made no moves to do so. I said if he made a move, with my frame of mind, I think I would be in trouble. I'm certain there will be other women here who know what I'm talking about regarding this. Anyway, yesterday I kept the same routine, off out our walk with the dogs at night, home and bed. Just before jumping into bed s text me asking if I used Reddit, my heart sank. I told him I did and asked why.

He sent me a link to my post and said, did you post this? I admitted it was me, and waited for the ground to swallow me up. He replied with Wow and a few minutes later text me saying not to stress. He won't tell anyone. Take the night to myself and think things over and we will talk tomorrow, which is now today. He told me we were going to sort it out, everything will be fine but we need boundaries. I was a wreck last night, but after a few hours I calmed down. Didn't get much sleep.

I read through all the messages I had gotten. And reading them and looking at my husband passed out on the other side of the bed I was seething with anger. I have no idea why. That spilled over to this morning and I'm not even going to talk it through with him. We're done. I'm organizing things while Hess out so I can leave quickly if I need to. I'm sorting a place to stay today and contacting lawyers. I can feel the relief coming and nothing he says will stop me leaving.

If he asks I'll tell him there was someone who made me realize the life I have with him is not the life I want. I won't tell him who. Has been given countless chances to step up to the plate and every time he fails me and our daughter for his own selfishness. He will never change. I haven't spoken to Essie yet today and I don't really know how that side of things will pan out. I hope we can remain friends, but I totally understand if he wants to take a step back. I can't hold anything against him. And despite what people are telling me I won in my last post I do not want to interfere in anyone's marriage.

I may post another update, I may not. The last post was hard to keep on top of. I'm not sure exactly what day, but the conversation will be had before Friday. Thank you for the words of encouragement, I really needed it. Update 2. I feel much better, it feels like such a relief. husband has been trying to contact me non-stop. Despite being told the only communication between us will be about our daughter,

I'm not interested in hearing his bullshit anymore. This has brought his true colors out and only solidified my choice. He has been struggling, and my second night out the house I received a text from S to say my husband was currently at their house, in tears. Awkward. Has been leaning on them for support and from what I hear, will do anything he can to get me back. Which is odd considering the multiple messages has sent telling me that me and our daughter ruined his life and that he never wanted any of us. I have lots of great support from friends and family, much to his chagrin.

Me and S have limited contact, though he still checks in to make sure I'm all right and if me and my daughter need anything. We spoke and we both agree, I'm experiencing limerence. I reiterated that I'm not out to sleep with him, and that I have been in a very fragile state of mind for God knows how long. It doesn't make it any easier when it comes to his wife. I feel horrible and fully accepted if neither of them want to remain friends. She hasn't been told yet, but will be when things have settled a bit. I already no longer feel like I'm in love with him, it's more like he showed me the light, and made me realize that the way we were living wasn't normal or healthy, and that I deserve better. My husband has his own issues, like we all do. But they

don't fix themselves, and I can't waste my life away in the hopes that they do. I do hope he gets himself whatever help he needs. If not for him, for our daughter, she doesn't deserve to come second to video games and YouTube. Again, I want to thank everyone who chimed in with advice and the ones who sent me their own similar stories, and I hope anyone reading these in a similar situation can take something away from my story. Don't settle and waste as many years as I did. I hope you enjoy this story. Discovered my sibling in bed with my partner for 12 months, thus I severed ties with them, retained his laptop, and now their worlds are crumbling. Hello everyone. Me, a 25-year-old female, stumbled upon out that my sister, 24F, has been

sleeping with my boyfriend, now X, 25M. We dated for three years, for one year, or probably more. They always had a close relationship, but I obviously took it as something innocent. I don't like video games, but my sister does so they talked a lot by text and I thought it was about games they like until I found out that no, they talked a lot about their secret dates while I was working and in college. I found pictures, videos, and a lot of other disgusting things in the chats between my ex and my sister. My pathetic sister found pleasure in asking my pathetic ex all the time if she's smarter or prettier

than me. She even compared our private parts, W-T-H, were both pretty. She's actually thinner and prettier than me, even if she's an introvert she has her group of friends, so I really don't understand where she got so much venom towards me. Our parents never compared us or anything like that, and she was always the one asking my ex to compare both of us in the chats. The first thing I did was throw all my ex-boyfriends things out of the apartment. I insulted him in a thousand ways, and I kept the PC that I gave him for Christmas. I didn't speak a single word to my sister for over a week and she didn't contact me like the coward she is until yesterday

when she sent me a message trying to justify herself by saying that it was a mistake, yes, a mistake that lasted more than a year. And that I should forgive her because we're sisters and blah, blah, blah, blah. At one point I thought should I be the mature person in the situation who doesn't let resentment speak for her? But then I realized that I've never been that kind of person. I took my phone and wrote a long message to my sister that I would love to write here, but I am sure that I would break the rules since I called her out in every possible way and I wrote a lot of personal things too.

I told her how much of a failure she is and how she has always envied me and that's why she needed to feel what it's like to be me for a second of her sad life. She's sending me a voice massage crying and saying that she's in a very weak moment mentally, but she's still with him, LMAO, and I shouldn't make her feel worse and that she regrets it. I just reacted to her message with emoji and didn't even heard the long voice message until the end. Was it a low thing to attack her with all her flaws? Yes, but it's lower to betray your sister and believe that she's going to forgive you just because you share blood with her. Honestly, I feel really good after sending her that message and feel that it was therapeutic to take out everything I feel to give closure to that. By the way, I've never used a PC for gaming, but I'm looking for tutorials on YouTube about how to download the Sims.

I help my sister in every moment of her life. I literally fought for her when she was being bullied during high school. I helped her thousands of times to make friends. I even accompanied her everywhere she wanted. It is a betrayal that really hurts and I will never forgive, never. It hurts me that she slept with someone I loved, but it hurts me a lot all the things I read in those chats, how she enjoyed. watching him compare me to her or how she asked him about personal things about our relationship just to laugh at it. She's dead to me and my parents knows it. I don't even care if I'm a bad person like them. This is something I can't forgive and I don't even feel bad for my reaction. Edit, I posted half of the message comments, goop on her parents' reaction oop.

My mother was disgusted and my father was angry but they only comforted me until I left their house. I don't know what they talk to my sister about afterwards and I don't want to ask, but they will probably cut contact with her. She just said that it was a mistake and in the voice message she only talked about how weak she feels mentally and that she has been having anxiety attacks even though I didn't heard the full audio because it lasts plus four minutes and I was getting even more pissed off with her just wanting to be the victim so I stopped the audio almost in the end. She never explained why she said all those ugly things about me because everything was about her having anxiety attacks update one. February 2nd, 2024, thank you for all the nice comments you left me. Many wrote to me with tips for the Sims and I'm really grateful. Thanks for the game recommendations

even though I'm really bad at playing action game. The last action game I played was Resident Evil 4 on the PS2 long time ago and it was because I had a crush with Leon Kennedy, he would never cheat on me by the way. As a token of appreciation and because I also like it when the op uploads the whole gossip, I will put here half of the message I sent to my sister. The message I sent her was really long and I cut out the parts where I talk about very private things or when I insulted her to not make the post too uncomfortable because I was really hurt and angry at that moment and I talked about many personal things in the text. I'm not interested in hearing any of your excuses. I believed you when a problem she had with her ex-friend group happened because I really

trusted that you would never do something like that, but now I understand why everyone leaves you alone and you deserve it. What you did to me is a shit and you know it but you didn't care because you spent a year being the whore of X name without any shame and now that I found out everything you went days without talking to me because you are a coward and on top of that you still don't care about what you did to me. You're only talking to me because dad probably stopped talking to you and you're running out of money, so you want to fix this shit so he gives you money again. You are always an asshole but don't you think it's a lot to be my boyfriend's second woman? How little respect do you have for yourself? We're sisters. I don't even know what's going on in your

head because I don't understand what's wrong with you. Girl, I read all the messages between you and you even started comparing our bodies. You're sick. You know that I never did anything for you to do this to me and I loved you. But everything turned out really well for you because he's with you so enjoy that feeling and the love you too have for the other for now because you're going to be really lonely later and you are going to go to your cave, but this time I am not going to be there to pity you like every time I did before. Stay with him, there's nothing that interests me less than fighting for an idiot who is surely going to leave you, but let me make it clear to you that you're not going to hear about me again. This dies here, we are not sisters anymore. If I see you on the street then I'm going to cross

to the opposite sidewalk to not see you. Update 2. May 17, 2024 they broke up nobody surprised when all of this happened my parents scolded my sister and she got offended and didn't speak to our parents except to ask them for money. She asked them for money to buy things for her career, but then my aunt told my parents that my sister actually used that money to buy my Exum sneakers. My parents never gave her any money from that day on. She's an idiot TBH. My parents started to pay for us to go to a private college and the only thing we have to do is literally study. The only thing she had to do was take her studies seriously, but she didn't, so my father got tired and hasn't sent her money for months. My ex discovered the post because he said it went viral and obviously he recognized the story.

He contacted me to apologize and said he knows he did wrong by hurting me like that, but my sister manipulated him and it was a total mistake. I told him he can shove his apologies in the ass. Meanwhile, my sister and I have only crossed paths a few times, but she always always has. avoids me because she thinks I'm going to hit her, I won't. We're not going to the same career, so we luckily don't see each other too much. Anyway, a few days ago she went to our parents' house saying that she broke up with my ex, I'd cry, and that she felt really sad and had an anxiety attack. I don't know exactly what they talked about since I wasn't there, but my mother told me that she told my sister that she knew what was going to happen when she slept with him and my sister

justified herself by saying that they are in love so my mother and her just argued again and my sister left. Now she doesn't talk to anyone in the family except our grandmother to ask for money, I know my sister is not going to change her bad habits and she didn't learn anything from this. I even think she will get together with my ex again because they're just toxic with each other but it's her life to ruin, not mine and I don't care anymore. The bright side, I sold the PC to a guy from Reddit that saw my post and that really saved me from having to keep paying the dues. Unfortunately, I didn't get to play the Sims much, but I prefer the extra money. My ex had told me that he wanted the PC back, but I told him that then he should

pay the remaining dues and he said no. So the idiot wanted the PC for free even though he slept with my sister. I know it's a boring update and probably everyone wanted that the update was my sister begging for forgiveness and my ex suffering, but no, they are just two idiots who deserve each other nothing more happened but even today I received a message asking me for an update ha comments upe on if she forgives her sister and her boyfriend oop i'm going to go ahead and not forgive them i can do both at the same time and no i don't forgive my sister and i don't want her to forget this and i don't want to see her again in a few years i'll remember these two idiots and laugh but that doesn't mean they deserve my forgiveness update three august 10th 2024 hi it's been a

while since my last update, but some things have happened. First of all, almost one month ago my sister talked to me from another number to tell me that her friends saw my post. For the first time we spoke again, she made a big fuss saying that I didn't even change our ages or data, so her friend obviously acknowledged that I was talking about her since I didn't even hide my nationality. I told her that I wasn't interested about it. She told me I'm a Poss and I portrayed her as a slut, but honestly I don't regret it. No one here knows her face. and I'm the one who looks like a cuckled in front of everyone. She started pressuring me to delete the posts,

but I told her that it doesn't make sense anymore because it's everywhere, so I just blocked that number two. A few weeks after I made my last post, they came back, but now they're not back together anymore. Acquaintances in common that I have with both of them usually tell me that they cheat on each other all the time or maybe they have an open relationship, but they always see them with other people and clubs.

I'm not really interested in it since I avoid going to the same clubs as them. It's really annoying because my sister used to not go to clubs, but now she's started to go to the same ones I always used to go. She had always criticized me for going to those environments. At this exact moment they are not together and my ex has been looking for excuses to see me like returning clothes that I forgot at his house. Which I don't need, that's why I was not interested in going to look for them. So one day he came to my apartment unannounced to bring me my clothes and I had no choice but to let him in and we slept together.

Just kidding, ha, I just let him into my apartment to leave the clothes. I should talk to the manager to tell him that he is no longer allowed to have free access to my door, and it was very uncomfortable because he reminded me all the time that he is no longer with my sister and that I am a great woman. I told him that I know I am great, but I am not interested in hearing about his relationship with my sister. I love gossip, though, and I just invited him to leave my place. He even tried to kiss me on the cheek before leaving, yikes. Meanwhile, my parents don't know what to do with my sister anymore because she's even stopped going to college, although she's never really paid much attention to her studies, and they're tired

of spending money if she doesn't make an effort. They have warned her that if she continues like this, they will stop paying for her university. but from what my mother said, my sister does not care and she really believes that my parents will at some point give her money again to fulfill her whims. I really hope right now that she doesn't get pregnant, but I'm even afraid she'll do that so my parents can support her again. And about me, I feel much better, except for the fact that I don't go to my favorite club anymore. I'm very well emotionally and I've already reached a point where I hear their shit show as if it were something foreign to me and I was just watching two crazy clowns.

Now on to the next story. Story two. Dad left us for a depressed woman who claims he saved her. Now she's terrorizing our family and threatening Suwakta. Long story short, two years ago my father left my mother to go with his mistress whom I will call Anna, common name. My mother never had any idea about the infidelity. Anna knew that my father was married. she even went to the house with him to take his things.

One day he simply told my mother that he is no longer in love with her and wants to be happy with Anna. I was there when everything happened. Anna was depressed. She has many scars on her legs and arms. I don't go to my father's house. It makes me uncomfortable to be around them for obvious reasons. Anna is overly nice and it's really uncomfortable. A few days ago it was my grandfather's birthday and the whole family was together,

including Anna. I have an aunt who suffers from depression and other more heavy things like schizophrenia. She has tried to hurt herself many times. At one point in the night there were only my father, my aunt, Anna, another aunt and I in the living room. For some reason my aunt and Anna were talking about some serious things and at one point Anna began to say that depression made her do many things trying to feel fulfilled. That she could only overcome depression when she met my father and he saved her, that meeting him was the key to overcome her depression and now she's finally happy thanks to him. I know about that because Anna often tried to bond with me by telling me how much she suffered in her life and how my father saved her, she has always justified herself

that she was depressed and was in a hard place in her life before my father saved her. It always make me feel uncomfortable and I don't feel empathy for her no matter how sweet she is. Talking about how many times you try to kill yourself in front of my eight years old sister, it's not something normal. Anna has always tried to paint her relationship with my father as a fairy tale that began in a different way, but that she doesn't regret anything because her world is perfect now. At that moment my aunt said something like I tried to save myself by going to a psychologist, not by jumping on the dick of a married man, and then she began to say that depression made her

want to jump off a bridge, but not ruin a family. I just laughed, it was funny, my aunt may have her mind elsewhere all day, but it was crazy to see her make such a sly comment. But when my father was taking me home Anna was crying and he scolded me for laughing at what my aunt said, saying that no one knows everything that Anna suffered, I know, she always talks about that. I didn't apologize, but now I think, was I really wrong to laugh? From my point of view, my aunt was right. Update 1, July 17th, 2024 Hello, some things happened over the weekend, my aunt came home, I live with my mother,

and told my mom what happened. My mother hates my dad for obvious reasons, but still she's been really nice to him and tried to keep us out of all those problems they have. My mother is honestly a saint. My sister is an eight-year-old girl and she really hates Anna. Anna once tried to get along with my sister and told her about the time she wanted to commit suicide and how my dad saved her, after that my sister came home asking my mother if she had ever thought about committing suicide. That's not a question an eight-year-old

girl should ask and my sister even asked me questions about suicide after that. I don't really know what else exactly Anna said to her, but it definitely affected her as a little girl. It's not even something you should talk about with a girl of that age. My mother was furious and since that day she forbids my father to have my younger sister near Anna as she considers her a dangerous and unstable person around children. Since that day things have been really tense between my father and my mother, my little sister doesn't want to visit our father so she is fine with this. My aunt told my mother that Anna talked about it again but this time in front of me, apparently my father and Anna were totally forbidden to talk about these things in front of me too.

I'm not a little kid, but apparently that was the arrangement my mother made with my father when she set boundaries for them. My aunt told her what happened that day and I can to my mother that Anna and my father talk a lot about those suicide attempts in front of me, which is something I should have talked about before, but at that moment I didn't want problems and decided to just ignore them. I told my mom that for that reason I am not going to my father's house anymore and my mother got very upset with him. The next day she went to talk to my father. I don't know what they talked about. She just came back saying that Anna can't get close to us anymore. She told me that she can't forbid me from being near my father and that's my decision,

but Anna is extremely forbidden to set foot in the same place where I and my sister are. My paternal grandparents agreed and my aunts too, they knew about the situation with my younger sister. I haven't spoken to my father, but my cousin told me that my father argued with my grandfather. He often says that Anna is a good person and we don't understand the pain she suffered, so I guess he's upset with all of us now for our great lack of empathy, as he always says. I don't know, at least now I won't see them for a while. It was a boring update, but that's what happened, ha ha. Update 2, August 9, 2024.

Hi, I wasn't planning to make another update, but we've had a lot of problems with Anna, too many, and I think now even my father has realized that she's crazy. I have stopped going to see my father and my father's parents stopped allowing. him to go with Anna to their house since I am there a lot and my mother does not allow her to come near me or my sister. Anna began to have the strange behavior of starting to send me texts. First she apologized to me but insisted that my father misses me and my sister. I replied to her that my mother does not allow us to talk to her and she said that she is my father's partner so we have to get used to her being around. She started to talk badly about my mother's

skeptical saying that I'm too young to realize it but my mother is manipulating us and that's wrong because she's not allowing us to be a family. I'm young, but I'm not dumb. I didn't answer her again and showed the messages to my mother who spoke to my father again. My father knew nothing about this and apparently had an argument with Anna about this since now my mother is planning to take away his last name from our name to end with this shit show and protect us. I don't understand too much about this, but in my country you can go to court and take out

your father's surname making him have no right over you anymore. I honestly believe that neither my sister nor I would have any problem with this, but I think my mother just said that to scare him. This is something I heard from my aunt and I don't know how much of this is real, but my father has been staying at my grandparents' house. One of those nights Anna went to knock on the door looking for him just to argue. She and my father began to argue. Anna yelled at my dad that he couldn't leave her like that, but nothing else happened because my grandfather kicked her out. My aunt also told me that my father told her that Anna sends him messages like, If you leave me, I will kill myself you can't leave me so my father is afraid of leaving her and afraid of her.

Less than two days ago, I found out that my father had to leave work quickly because she sent him goodbye messages. Nothing happened to her. She just cut her arms as always. My aunt said that this is something that Anna has always done. Even when the affair started, she sent him messages saying that she was about to commit suicides. so that my father would go to her this is something that Anna also told me, but in a more romantic way. It always scared me. I have no contact with my father and I avoid him when he's on Grandpa's house, but as far as my aunt has told me, he doesn't know what to do since he misses us, but is afraid to leave her and that she will kill herself. I feel bad for thinking this, but I'm really relieved

to be hearing all this from afar. I'm so thankful that my mom forbade us to see her before all this happens and honestly this is his karma so I'm not going to get into this. I hope you enjoy this story. Sibling died at 14 and my mother privately laid her remains in a hidden location without informing us, then deceived us for four years claiming that they were enclosed in our pendants. My mother and father divorced when I was young. They had an oops baby together after my mom remarried, which rocked that marriage apart. That oops baby was my little sister. She died abruptly in a accident four years ago at only 14. You know how people say the firsts after a death are the hardest. They don't account for when there's no first to be had. When they should have been getting ready

for prom but never will, it's a completely different pain. My mom and I were talking about it, we were both drinking, and she slipped that my bit of ashes I carry that I thought were my sisters were just regular ashes. Burned wood. She already poured out my sister's ashes without me or my brother in the plot she bought with my stepdad. She couldn't fathom my rage because to her, the sentiment and emotions are the important aspects, not that it's physically my sister. My anger is prompted by the lies and the fact those sentiments and emotions are attached to something not my little sister, and I had no idea she cast her ashes on a plot she wouldn't have cared about. I screamed at her to get out of my house, locking the door behind her and calling up my

stepdad to pick her up. I threw the necklace out the window to the front lawn, then regretted it and tore it out of her hands when she picked it up. As she would say it, I made a scene and embarrassed her. I kept screaming and calling her a liar whenever she tried to explain herself or get back inside. I was threatening to call the cops on her when my stepdad finally showed up and took her away. He called me the next day and left a message saying that he wanted to talk about what happened and how he understands why I'm angry and hurt. He just wants to talk. but I need to talk to my mother too about this because she's a grieving mother, emphasis is, and my sister's death was a huge blow to the entire family and everyone is trying to regain our

bearing still so some kindness is needed. All I can think of right now is my mom's heartbroken face as I ripped my necklace with my sister's ashes out of her hands, or the way she turned away from me crying as my stepdad ushered her into the car. I called her names, I let my pain and rage take over me. But I can't get over the lies. For years of thinking my necklace had my sister, of thinking she was right by my heart, and it all came undone because my mom had too much to drink. How long would she have let me think this? How long would the lie continue?

Comments. Sent her off chaos. Yeah, your mother is grieving. But you, her very living child, are too. Having your mother lie to you about something important is going to get an emotional reaction. What you do is up to you. but I wouldn't let her frame this as embarrassing her or that she's a victim in any way. She lied about it, she got drunk and tattled on herself.

These are the consequences of her own actions. The ass crack bandit. The mom thought that was going to be a cute little anecdote. WTF kind of person does that kind of stuff. Casually just drops a bomb. It was an absolute mistake on her part that she even said it. We were talking about prom season and how hard it can be to be reminded of things that my sister would have loved. Then she started to say I start crying before I even reached the cemetery sometimes and she named it by name.

I started flipping then and was like what cemetery? Why that cemetery? In a sort of why are we talking about cemeteries when we're talking about her way? I kept pushing her for an explanation and that's when the whole thing came out. Update, I gave my mother an ultimatum of either. telling my brother and father, or I will. She refused to, because you reacted so horribly, and she told me not to tell because you're doing this to hurt me and you're just going to hurt them. So I told them. I sat my dad and brother down and explained that the necklaces didn't

have the right ashes in them. I've never seen my dad break like that, and I've never heard my brother scream at me like that. He was angry that I knew before him and didn't immediately tell because this is shit you tell me, you needed to tell me, we tell each other everything. But he started crying and apologizing to me, admitting he's just so mad about what mom did and he can't handle it. So I guess that's clearly something else me and my brother share. We get overwhelmed initially before cooler heads prevail. My dad looked gutted but he was clearly trying to piece himself back together. He said a lot of the same other people had said to me on my other post, we can get some of the dirt from the plot where she was scattered.

The necklace has the meaning we attribute to it and she's still with us even if her body hasn't been physically with us. I feel bad because some of it my mom said, either bit about the necklace being important even without her ashes in it, but I was able to accept that much easier from him. Maybe because he didn't lie to me for four years and drop a bomb on me out of nowhere because I pulled apart a lie. He held my brother and I as we cried and he apologized for the pain, and he said it wasn't that I had to be the adult when my mother should have told all of us a lot sooner.

Dad's going to try to talk to my stepfather to find the plot because my mom has been refusing to talk to us anymore, not answering messages or picking up the phone. Her social media has even gone dark. He's going to find out where the plot is and go to the site. I don't know if I could if it were up to me. It just feels like the final bit of proof that this fucked up nightmare is real and my sister is mixed with dirt and rocks and grass of an unmaintained and unvisited plot. My mom and I always had some issues, but that's normal. This is worse than anything, and we had a rough patch when I came out that we didn't even talk, but we mended fences after. I can't see ever forgiving her, not with how she dropped this on me, blamed me for my reaction,

and left me to do what she should have done. To top it off, she won't even show the decency to explain why or even talk to me. When we were discussing cremation, it was agreed we would all get a necklace with the ashes. My mind keeps going over things that just didn't add up fully, times she almost slipped or things that make complete sense now. She almost left behind her necklace on a trip and didn't freak out like I would have, because she knew where my sister was the whole time. She volunteered to be the one to separate the ashes and gave Dad the rest. I assume those ashes are the same as ours, fake. God, this whole thing just makes me want to curl up in a hole and never see the light of day again. I've been on and off crying all week without being able to stop,

or just so angry I could scream. In the middle of my damn workday and suddenly I'm rushing to the bathroom to hide the fact I'm breaking all over again because I can't stop my thoughts. I quit smoking after my sister died, but I picked it right back up again. My dad has been calling me every day to check in on me and remind me of how much he loves me and how much my brother loves me. I think he's afraid. My brother has come over each day since the talk with his girlfriend to make sure I eat something. I don't know how to win this post. I feel lost and like I don't know anything anymore. I feel like a burden because my dad and brother are both dealing with the revelation too, but they're clearly thinking of me and checking in on me. I'm going to look into grief counseling,

but the therapist I saw after my sister died isn't practicing anymore and my insurance isn't accepted by a lot of therapists. I try to remind myself that my little sister wouldn't have minded so much becoming woven into a tapestry of grass and flowers, and that I can visit her once we know where she was cast and make sure her sight is always beautiful. Thank you to everyone that helped me and shared their own perspectives and stories. I really appreciate it. Comments, M-Aposterfee S underscore plapp. You mentioned she said the Semed cemetery's name when she tattled on herself? Can you call and ask about the plot? It's probably under your mother's or your sister's name. Then you can visit and not have to go through your mother at all.

Up, it's my mother and stepfather's plot. If trying through my stepfather fails, I'll try that. I didn't think I could just call up and say, is there an empty plot section for the So and So Family, but it's worth trying. Family Guy 421, I am head of a cemetery commission. Just call them up. We don't care about drama, just information. The best of luck to you. Op, thank you so much. That means a lot.

This has probably been the worst month of my life in years. Sorry to the mod for so many posts. Edit, I tried find a grave and she's not there. Same for my mother and stepdad. I'm going to start with the minor stuff that's been happening or whatever because my head just feels like a brick. I got a promotion I'd been aiming for before everything. My boss did tell me I had already got it before this all happened

and it was held off on announcing so I could have time to process before I had to adjust to the new job requirements. I couldn't even feel proud. I know a month ago I would have but I feel numb. I'm working a lot more hours now than normal, usually about 6 a.m. to 7 p.m., give or take. Paycheck looks nice, I guess. My dad keeps telling me I need to work less, so does my brother, but my job is one that engages my mind enough that I'm nearly brain dead by the time I'm home which is nice.

I'm non-binary and prefer they slash them pronouns but she slash her are not offensive. Realized belatedly that people were calling me that. I started drinking more than usual. After blacking out one night I let my dad take it all and I haven't bought more. I don't think I've ever gotten blackout before so it's terrifying to hear about the night but I've barely any. recollection of it. About my sister, my mother finally responded to my brother, and according to him she was a wreck. All tears. All apologies. All you have to understand. There must be something wrong with me because I look at her and I want to hurt her. I want to break her heart.

I want to make a spectacle of her disgusting behavior. I want to ruin her life. I think part of me recognizes that's why I'm not so overly cautious about details, but at the same time I can't do it. The rational part of my mind kicks in and I realize that it wouldn't do anything but make it worse. I just feel guilty and sick after the brief moment of satisfaction. But then I think to myself, so how and why could you do that to us? For years? Her and my brother had a much better relationship than her and I ever did. She still did that to him. Like yeah, dad and her never got. I, better after the divorce, and after the affair they struggled with even co-parenting for a multitude of reasons. Her and I have had our issues. But the bond between her and my brother has always

been strong, or at least used to be, and she did it to him of all people. She tried telling my brother that she did it impulsively, in a fit of peak, but when he pressured her about why she was the one to volunteer to handle filling the necklaces, she said that it was because she was okay with it at first but then when she saw the ashes, she didn't want to destroy her further. Her word, there, destroyed. Like the relationship between her living children? Like our trust in her? Like the memorial we agreed upon for my sister, I don't know how to feel if I even trust her story. But her wording makes me feel like it was planned. God yet again it becomes an accidental revelation, where she tried to uphold a lie but got caught and that's how the truth came to light.

I managed to talk to the funeral director. My sister's fingerprints are part of their records. I'm going to get her touched tattooed. But I found a means of getting that on a necklace so my brother and dad can have that if they don't want a tattoo. Still struggling to get in contact with the owners of the cemetery. A lot of unanswered emails and voicemails. I've also been looking for therapists and counselors in my area, or ones doing telehealth. I have an appointment upcoming, but I'm nervous.

My stepfather has stepped back. He set a boundary that he won't talk to us until we agree to discuss this without blaming anyone and any time the conversation starts going toward asking about motive or who knew what and when, he says the conversation needs to end. He's even hung up on us before and threatened the cops on me, even implying it'd be deserved after I did the same to my mother. I wish I could give good news but there's not been much and I haven't had much time besides working.

I'm just going to keep on doing whatever this is so long. long as there's not a problem. I went to therapy. I tried a few sessions, and I'm so grateful she worked with me to get me on her books, but she wasn't helpful for me. I wasn't clicking with her and I felt unheard. I'm still on the hunt for a therapist. I feel very entitled saying that. My father is not as well as he wants to pretend. He is so focused on fixing this for us that he has to have lost sight of himself. I hate seeing him like this. My brother is angry. I have never in my life seen him so mad or heard him say such horrific things about our mother and stepfather.

We are all just existing, it seems. My brother tried the plot hack idea. The cemetery is full. They're not accepting new burials. I tried as well and couldn't get even the plot numbers. I got so angry I was crying. I didn't take it out on them, as it's not the cemetery's fault I can't manage my emotion. but it was absolutely crushing to come across yet another block.

Our mother still won't really talk to me, with one choice exception event, and even my brother is touch and go in conversation with her. She's so quick to shut everything down. The exception is this, my mother offered to let me purchase the plot from her. She said I can share it with my brother and this way we can be buried together where our sister is. She phrased it like she was giving me some sort of peace offering, or paying me a favor. All total costs together, the liner, the plot, the headstone, the permits, because our state requires one for such sales, the care, will be over $9,500. Her and my stepfather are willing to forego the cost of the headstone to make it easier for my brother and I, to make up for us not being there for the scattering.

No mention about how Dad wasn't there either. No true sorry, just what amounts to if you want access to your sister, pay me for the privilege. I want to say she doesn't intend it this way, I want to agree with my stepfather that this is her attempt to reconcile so I should meet her halfway. I can't keep doing this. I want to put this behind me somehow. I want to forget about the plot. I want to forget about my mother entirely. It feels like it would be easier to completely cut her out, make peace with what I have of my sister, and never, ever think of my mother again. I feel like a horrible child thinking that way, and my stepfather's attitude doesn't help that feeling. I tried explaining I just want some of the dirt from the plot for part of a memorial, but my stepdad started threatening to sell it back to the

cemetery because clearly nothing else will satisfy you. My brother and I are an agreement that it's a baseless threat especially if they really did cast her ashes there, because our mother would never do that and then separate from the plot. We both know even if we buy it from her, she'll visit our sister still. I can't help the niggling concern that she did something else with the ashes than we think and what she's led on, like that the cemetery is unrelated and she was somehow clever enough to keep up or think up a convoluted lie when drunk. I keep looking at my bank account. My brother doesn't want to buy it offer, I don't think, but he's also still furious at the offer so I don't want to say he doesn't. He means, well, I think, but any time I try to broach the offer,

he starts in about how we're making our own memorial and that her offer is needlessly cruel, so I shouldn't entertain it. I could afford it if I shuffled some bills around and worked more. Almost for peace of mind yes and take the offer. She gave me a deadline. I still have a bit of time, but it doesn't feel like enough. My dad has taken over trying to figure out the legalities of this situation, what he can do to force her hand to share where the plot is or what he can do to make things better. He's fit to be tied. He's doing what he can, looking into what legal avenues we can pursue and what can be done to force her to give the location. It seems like we don't have many options. It doesn't feel right or fair. He keeps saying what my brother has said, trying to reassure me,

but I can't not think of it. I'm not sleeping much these days. I think the only thing going well in my life is my work and I still haven't had anything to drink. I think maybe the next next option we can try would be letting the cemetery know ashes were illegally spread on their grounds, but what will they do in response? I know I'm being paranoid and catastrophizing when I fear that they'll do something to clean my sister from the plot, or take it away from my mother and I won't be able to access it. So I guess the update is everything is as fucked up as it has been since that stupid night with my mother. I do want to address the outpouring of support everyone here has given me. It has meant the world to me and given me a place of stability and external perspective where my

current life is far too close to provide that. Thank you all. Comments. The Lake are the first, I'm so sorry. Your mother is awful. And you're not going to get closure if you buy the plot from her. Because your mother is going to find other ways to torture you. You are not a bad child for wanting to cut off contact with her. If you were a bad child, you feel gleeful about doing it. I don't think your relationship with your mother is salvageable. And I think she's a horrible person for doing this to you and your brother and yes, she is forcing you to pay for the privilege of knowing where she states she scattered the ashes. I don't think she did it there. I think she is seriously mentally ill and after you purchase it from her, she will come up with another story of what she did with

the ashes. I want to tell you something that helped me. And I don't know if this will help you. but all matter goes back into the universe. And every breath you take, every gaze at the stars or the sky, you're seeing your sister. Your sister is all around you. Where her ashes are. It's not her. Your mother is forcing you to go through the second loss. But every time you feel that calming breeze, every time you see that twinkling star, every tickle of pollen in your nose.

Start to think of that as your sister. I'm an atheist so I'm not trying to say anything paranormal or supernatural. What I'm saying is her matter, the essence of who she was, never left. You cannot destroy matter. So she is around you, she's just around you as carbon and hydrogen and helium and oxygen and all the other elements. I wish all the best for you. A lot of me recognizes that it is pure symbolism at this point.

Maybe even before then. But it aches and I start. struggle to deal with that. Maybe the next therapist I try will help with that. No requirement 2420. How did my you go getting the necklaces of her fingerprint made? That was a lovely idea. Have you tried alternatives to getting your hands on some of her remains slash dirt? A memorial that is symbolic instead of physical remains? Maybe a butterfly release? Does your mother know that if she continues on this path that she still lose all her remaining children? Try and take one day at a time and one thing at a time.

You need to take care of you too. Op, the funeral home still hasn't given me her prince yet. I don't want to pressure. Part of me recognizes it's been some weeks. Another part feels like it was yesterday, and I am almost frightened to pressure them. Because what if they react the way my mother did? The worst part is knowing you are being irrational but not being able to not be irrational.

I hope you enjoy this story. invested all my savings in supporting my unemployed partner as he pursued his ambitions. After 12 months and $25,000 later, I decided to end the financial support when he claimed that I was his true love. Using him My boyfriend and I started dating in July of 2014. He is the biggest optimist in the world and lived a pretty cushy life as the only child of divorced parents. We both lived separately and had jobs that covered all our bills and then some. He bought an expensive sports car, gaming computer, and purebred dog, important later.

He was in school, while I had graduated a year before and started work at my first big kid job. Life was great, and the first six months were some of the happiest times of my life. The first week of January 2015. He was wrongfully terminated from his job, a new supervisor was on the warpath to replace everyone on BF's shift with his friends and waited until the new year, after the holiday rush was over to start cleaning house. Government sided with BF during the unemployment claim, and BF started receiving benefits. He decided to focus on finishing school instead of looking for

more work. This where the crack started. He was supposed to graduate that May, but he failed a class and couldn't, so he had to go to school in the summer. In June, his savings ran out and he could either afford his car payment and insurance or rent. His lease was up at the end of July, I agreed to pay his rent and he could move in with me in July and finish school. He found out weeks before he was supposed to graduate that he needed one particular elective to get out. He had to go to school that fall, too. I demanded he get a job to help with expenses, as I wasn't planning on having to support him for so long. A month or two, fine.

Six months? No. He got a job as an insurance agent for an extremely reputable company at the end of July. Turns out this job is commission-based. Being the optimist he is, the manager's talk of being able to make unlimited amounts of money drew him in. I paid for him to take the certification tests he needed to work, and he started trying to build a client-based selling structured financial products. He made and makes nothing. He'll have a $700 payday for a small close, then nothing for months.

He's out there busting his ass every day, but building a financial client base from scratch without any family privilege or existing networks is ridiculously hard. In September 2015, we downsized from my fancy downtown apartment to a posse house on the edge of the ghetto. I paid the security deposit and double rent at both places for a month as that's how the lease overlaps worked out, totaling about $3,500. By November, my savings was almost gone and I had to liquidate shares of my family trust, on which I took a penalty, as my grandfather did not want us to access it before age 25. to get us by. By deck, I had $300 in savings and nothing left in my family trust. I had spent about $17,000 since July supporting us, his job, he needed money to take clients out for lunch and

coffee, his dog, and my dog. Since September, we had been having recurring fights about money and chores. I expected him to pick up 90% of the housework as his way of paying me back. He never shaped up on either front. He just kept repeating to me the same things that his manager said to him to draw him in. It'll get better. Everyone struggles at first. If you hang on, you'll make it. Once I make it, we'll be rolling in it. Every time we had a fight. Every time. Two weeks before Christmas, we had this fight again and I demanded he do something other than feed me bullshit inspirational quotes. I left the house in a rage and drove to buy cigarettes. I was thinking of who I should text and ask to crash for the night when I got angry.

Fuck no, I'm not crashing on someone's couch while he lives on the house I pay for, sleeps in the bed I pay for, and eats the food I pay for. I returned home and gave him ten days to pack his shit and get out. He moved into his dad's house, and I spent Christmas morning chilling with my dog and returning his presents online. We started hanging out again in January of this year, and things seemed to be going well for his business. It was just for him to consider getting an apartment. I told him he could move back in and if we couldn't split expenses evenly at first,

he had to get serious about doing chores and sticking to my budget. It was fine at first, but by April, he wasn't doing any chores and I was back to paying 100% of his and his dog's living expenses. He also was about to not meet quota for that quarter and asked me to sign me to sign him. up for a policy and then reverse it after quarter and so I'd be reimbursed. I lost my shit on him. I work in capital markets, I can't afford to commit financial fraud for him. I told him I've sacrificed enough for him, he can't come for my integrity too. Bonus, the friend who he did rope into doing the reversed policy still hasn't been reimbursed. Five months later, we had another blowout fight, and he majorly stepped up on the chores front, which has sustained to this day.

Money was still touch and go when he didn't get paid, his fancy car aided up every month. He landed a big case in May, and paid his half rent in June for the first time, and offered to pay all of July, which he did. By the second week of July, he was completely broke again, and told me last minute he couldn't pay August rent. I had to scramble to get the cash needed in one account to send the check. He couldn't afford to pay for his half of groceries like he promised either, so that was a scramble too. I'm so sick of this. I work an incredible job for my age, paid off all my college debt eight months after graduation, and own my car, yet I'm living paycheck to paycheck supporting him. There's always something, even if it's a legitimate something, that keeps him from paying his half. It's been a fucking year and there hasn't even been marginal improvement. His job is meant for filthy rich trust fund kids who can afford to be this broke while they build their client base.

I admire his optimism but he's not suffering for listening to it. I am. I have enabled him far too long and after the most recent fight about money, I realized he is too immature to be trying his hand at this job. He complains when he meets with clients that spend their money on cars and trips and toys instead of buying a policy from him. And he blew his money on a car and a gaming PC when he had a steady paying job. He has no problem having regular, circular fights with me yet won't.

ask his parents for help because that would be awkward and I don't want to lose, his father's respect. He's hurt that I don't trust his promises when he's barely kept any of them. From his graduation date to his bills to chores. He is too immature to see the larger picture, and because I've been enabling him to a fault. He has never needed to because the consequences don't fall on him. They fall on me. Last night, I told him I'm not renewing the lease and I'm moving out by myself. He followed me around the house pleading with me and asking me questions. How do you feel about me? What about us?

Where will I go? What will it take for you to let me come with you? Questions I have answered every. Single. Fight. Questions he needs to answer because it's his fucking life. I refused to answer them again and went to bed. He stood in the doorway and said that stupid Marilyn Monroe quote about not deserving people.

at their best if you can't handle them at your worst. I said he was totally allowed to feel that way and walk. He shut himself in the computer room and slept on the couch that night. I can't believe he feels like I'm abandoning him after all I've done. He doesn't understand how hurtful it is when he tries to pay his half of rent and bills by spouting off platitudes about struggle and success. It makes me feel so fucking disrespected and I have told him this every fight. And despite having this fight regularly, it's like he's like he's.

not even listening to me. Why would he? I haven't made myself worthy of respect by being his financial doormat and not sticking to my boundaries. At this point, I feel he is using me as a safety net. He knows I won't let him or his dog starve so he doesn't make himself care about coming up with the money for food. He is deluded by his optimism so much so that he breaks every optimistic promise he makes to me. He talks about how he thinks a client will buy an expensive plan, but then they get the cheap one and now he can't pay rent. He talks about how he met loads of people at a networking event, but only three call him back and he needs money to take them out. He says he's set to get 40% enrollment on a corporate contract, but only gets 11% so he can't pay for groceries this week.

I used to think he was lying to me, but now I see he's lying to himself. He hasn't matured at all and grounded his expectations in reality because I've been standing in the way of it. Because of this, him to give me a realistic end date to supporting him, because he'll probably be wrong about that too. And now that I'm done being his Atlas and holding his world together, he's starting to panic. It bothers me so fucking much that he didn't take me seriously until I let the hammer drop on him, as it should have been in the beginning. The irony is not lost on me that he's a broke financial advisor. I missed the first six months of this relationship, when he had a job that paid well enough to cover up his financial immaturity. I could have taught him a few. I could have taught him a few.

things that might have stuck instead of picking up all the slack and mommy the ever-living fuck out of him. I miss going to sit down dinners and football games and movies with him. I miss The Fiend I had a month after I met him, where I knew I would marry him. Now I'm not sure at all. I'm sad I love him. It's a burdensome tether instead of the inner flame it used to be. And maybe this is my own fatal optimism speaking, but that guy is still there, buried underneath

all this bullshit. He just has to grow the fuck out of it and take his own risks to learn his own lessons. I can't even explain how badly I want the guy I met back. I'm tearing up writing this. I agreed to him moving back in this year because, according to him, he only needed a few more months to make it and be stable, and I wanted that for him so badly so we could go back to enjoying life together. My hope is hamstringing me, just like it's doing to him.

Can our relationship survive now that I'm seriously taking steps to ensure it doesn't bankrupt me? Or am I being stupid and thinking anything will change? Will he move in with his dad and just get him to be the new enabler? What am I doing wrong that's preventing him from understanding how I feel? Comments where Op has replied, commenter one. No, you couldn't have. People have to want to learn for lessons to stick. I understand why you're having trouble walking away, because his strengths and weaknesses are so closely tied. But you'd be making the exact same mistake. You'd be making the exact same mistake he is by staying, doubling down on a bad decision because you're convinced you can turn it around with just a little more time and investment. He can't, and you can't either. Stop feeding into

the sunk cost fallacy and go. Oop, this is so true. I'm a realist from an abusive home, so he was such a bright light of positivity when I met him. Now it's burning me. You're so right about me making the same mistake. I know what I have to do. It's going to suck doing it, but I I'm worth it, to myself at least. Commenter two. There's no hope. You cannot change anyone but yourself. He's the only one who can change himself.

Instead of changing, he's doubling down on a philosophy that has proven to be a failure. Why isn't he getting another job? Even if he can't let himself kill this dream and quit, he can at least work a second job. One that would actually pay minimum wage. Boop. He has office hours during the day and it infuriates me that they don't pay him for that. He can't get a second job for that reason as he's meeting clients before and after common working hours. He can't even be an Uber driver because his fancy car is on the restricted cars list, and fuck if he's going to take my car too. I hate his stupid fucking car so much. It represents how financially immature he is, because he didn't even use his money wisely when he had it and continues to butt-fut.

fuck him to this day. Did I mention he hasn't paid taxes or registered it either because he doesn't have the money? Not sure who will be paying that inevitable ticket, but it's sure as hell won't be me. Update, well, a lot has happened since I made my first post. I guess I'll address it sequentially, since that's how I'm operating right now, moment to moment. After I made that post, I decided to truly cut him off. I changed the Wi-Fi password, froze the credit card I gave him, applied to close our joint accounts, and threw out any gifts I ever gave him. We were planning on attending a dork convention over Labor Day, in Atlanta, for those familiar with the con scene, that I had budgeted paying for both of us over a year ago. I told him he couldn't go unless he paid for his

half of the hotel and tickets, $600. Not sure why I did this instead of shooting straight and admitting he was out of his gourd if he thought he could go. Shouldn't have played any games, but I'm kind of glad I did because he told me he'd have $1,000 to me by the end of August. Over text two, in writing. I was floored. Suddenly he can come up with money for a weekend of partying and a chance to reel me back in? I said I would apply that to August bills, then he could start paying down the rest of the $25,000 he owed me for supporting him this past year before he could spend his money on luxuries like out-of-state vacations. This was over text, and he never responded, and slept on the couch again that night. That was a Friday. Saturday morning, he left the house

around 9 a.m. with his dog, leaving all of his crap in my house. I piled all of his and his dog's stuff under his desk and got rid of any pictures of him around the house. I blocked him everywhere but Facebook and text. I went to two rental house showings, loved one of them and the landlord, put a deposit down that day, went on multiple walks with my dog as well as a long trip to the dog park and celebrated slash vented slash drank wine through Twizzlers with my next door neighbor and her boyfriend. XBF never returned that night. Sunday, I spent the day working on cosplays and outfits for the convention as well as goofing off with my neighbor and dog. It was lovely. I kept waiting for this wave of sadness and regret to hit me, but it never did.

He had been out for 24 hours and his name wasn't on the lease. I texted him that his claim to residency was gone, and he needed to come get his things with 24 hours notice. He said he was coming that night. I said 24 hours notice. He agreed to Monday evening. Monday, he picks up his stuff in his father's truck and gives me back the key. Hours after he left, He added a song to our shared YouTube playlist, Say Something by a Great Big World. I added Gravity by Sarah Borellis and Two Good by Drake, then removed his access to the playlist the next morning.

Yay middle school communication methods. Wednesday his best friend texts me like nothing is wrong. Thursday, I text my ex about when I can expect his check in the mail. He doesn't respond. Friday morning, I email him. At this point, as far as I can tell, He's gone no contact with me. I send him one last email a day later basically stating that,

and he asks me to coffee Sunday night. I set up for coffee. He never mentions repayment at all but in the discussion about our feelings. We both felt the same way about this. Betrayed, abandoned, hurt and distrustful of the other person. He felt I had lied when I said I was fine supporting him and basically insinuated that I wouldn't want to be repaid if I believed in us because otherwise I was actually loaning him money under the guise of love and setting him up to fail.

When I realized he felt just as used as me because I cut him off from my money, I knew I was done. My stomach sank like a weight. I let him finish talking, then we parted ways. He asked if he could contact me, I said I needed a break. The next day I emailed him about the $1,000 he promised me and reminded him he never discussed repayment at our meeting. He didn't respond for days, the day I was set to leave town for the convention, he replies saying the money was on the way. Cool, it can sit in my mailbox for five days while I'm out of state. Also, during this time he was telling mutual friends we were going through a rough patch yet my friends were finding him on Tinder and OKC. I partied my tail off for the entire convention

and when I came back, the check was in an unpostmarked envelope in my mailbox. I cashed it and sent him an email telling him such an ass that he used snail mail for future repayments instead of trespassing on my property when he knows I won't be home. I seriously wonder if he was looking for the spare key I left with the dog sitter. So creepy. He replied to that email with some mushy I love you and I know I fucked up things claiming he is too nice and can't say no and his urge to help others makes him neglect himself and he needs to work on that.

It was the most laughable apology on earth. I was so nice and helpful that I couldn't stop myself from draining you of all your money and energy. My bad. I replied you broke my heart and my bank account. It will be a long time before they're both fixed, and my then I hope I won't be stupid enough to trust you with them a third time. I will be responding to emails about repayment, otherwise good luck with everything. He replied, if I could take everything back that I did, I would. I love you, name. With all my heart. I could have prevented it all. I could have taken action. but I let you slip away

and that'll be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I'm truly sorry for hurting you. I just want you to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I moved out of the house we lived into a similar one a few streets away. Moving helped keep me busy enough to not think about this. I threw out all our mementos and pictures and shit in the process so everything in the new place is all me.

Just me. Now I'm settled in and it feels like it hasn't hit me that it's over. I thought I would be crushed, and there were some lonely moments at the convention that caught me up enough to need a cigarette, but I just feel humiliated. I don't even have the urge to check his Instagram. Every time I see a picture of him, it just reminds me of how stupid and naive I am for thinking he was my one. I'm also super distrustful of my feelings now because of that.

It wasn't a question in my mind when I met him that we'd be together forever. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him, like my name, like a fact. I see cute people out or have great conversations, but I have no desire for anything more because I feel like my feelings aren't trustworthy enough to merit acting on them. They led me so far astray last time. But that's it, I guess. It's over and life is going on. Comment where Op has replied.

Commenter 1, I remember seeing your original post and wondering to myself what would happen. You handled this masterfully, and it's obvious you are much better off mentally and emotionally for dropping him from your life. You just sound happier in your writing, and for that I'm glad for you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Smile up, thanks. It creeps me out how quickly he became a stranger, right in front of my eyes. Anyway, the convention was helpful for jump-starting the old single-bitch thing again, aha. That's the path I'll be on for a bit.

I hope you enjoy this story. Selfish guardians declined to cover my university expenses, yet willingly supported my entitled sibling's idle existence for an extended period. I ultimately revealed their deceit during a family gathering. Consequently, I, a 33-year-old male, recently attended my cousin's wedding and there was an incident during the after-party with my parents. My parents and I aren't on the best of terms and we try to avoid speaking to one another. as much as we can. The reason is my younger brother, Jack, 29M, who is pretty much the golden child.

Growing up, nothing was ever his fault and he got whatever he asked for which wasn't the case for me. And the older he grew, the more entitled and bratty he became. So he and I aren't exactly in touch either. I cut my parents out of my life after they told me that they wouldn't be paying for me to go to college and I had to arrange everything myself. That was many years. You know, years ago and in recent times, we have been civil to each other at family gatherings but that's about it. Jack and I, don't speak at all, even when we meet and I'm okay with that. Because I don't think he is the kind of guy that I would want to be on speaking terms with either. He is a grown man child who still lives with his parents and spends most of his weekends playing video games

with his online friends while emptying can after can of beer. Now, a couple of days ago I attended my cousin's wedding, like I said. And there, my relatives and I were just sitting around, chatting and drinking after the ceremony, like one does. Out of nowhere, my family came around and joined the conversation, which I thought was a little strange because they usually try to avoid me. But I didn't think much of it and it wasn't as if I could tell them to leave me alone because a lot of people were sitting around us and it wasn't really a private conversation. Once they were seated, the conversation suddenly turned to me when my dad asked me how my job was going. I'm a banker and I recently received a significant raise along with my

promotion I celebrated it with a couple of my friends by going out to a bar last weekend. But that's none of my family's business, so I told him that it was going well and ended my sentence there. But my parents were not willing to drop it, so then my mother asked me if there was something more that I wanted to share with the family. I said no, so I said, So my dad told me to drop the act and said that he was aware of the promotion and the raise. I was a little surprised but I wasn't comfortable discussing this with so many of my relatives sitting around us. So I told him that I didn't think that it was any of their business and tried to excuse myself

so I could go to the Lou, but I honestly just wanted to get the hell out of there. However, my father told me to sit back down so we could talk about this like a family. When he said that, I got annoyed because I didn't think of him as my family whatsoever and I am pretty sure that they didn't consider me family either. And they proved me right when my father said that in spite of earning so much, I couldn't contribute and give back to my parents who had worked so hard to raise me and give me everything that I wanted as a child. And now that they were on the brink of retirement, I was turning my back on them and being

incredibly ungrateful and selfish. All my other relatives were either looking at their phones or at the floor because they knew that this wasn't a conversation that they were meant to be a part of. It was a clear attempt by my parents to humiliate me and pressure me into giving them money, and I knew why they needed the money as well. You see, my brother doesn't have a job and is still relying on our parents to provide for him. And his lifestyle is not one that's very affordable. He wants to go out clubbing and drinking with his friends almost every other weekend,

and he wants to buy every new gizmo because he fancies himself to be a tech geek or whatever. and these things come at a cost, which my parents are probably struggling with. Both of them are close to retirement now and need to start thinking about life after that as well. They can't exactly continue to support my brother forever. And I knew that they were trying to humiliate me in front of my relatives so that I would agree to send them money to save face in front of these people and then, they would hold that against me and continue to enable the golden child. But I wasn't going to let myself fall for that and even though I would.

was pretty embarrassed, I decided to retaliate and treat them the same way that they were treating me. So I snapped at them and brought up the way they had laughed in my face all those years ago when I had asked them to cover my college tuition. They had told me back then that they only had enough funds for one kid to go to college and that was not going to be me. So I had to look out for myself. And I kid you not, they had actually laughed when I brought it up with them as if I had cracked some joke. But I guess it was fair because that's what I really was to them, a joke. However, now that they could see that I was earning and my brother was not, they wanted me to contribute to the family. And I knew that this was just a way for them to continue pouring money

down my brother's throat. So I brought up that incident and told them that they had not spent a single dollar more on me than whatever was necessary and it only let me live in their house and provided for me up until I turned 18, which was pretty much the bearer. minimum that they could do for me. And they did it, not because they wanted to, but because it was required by the law. So they needed to stop acting like they did it out of kindness rather than obligation. I didn't even realize it, but I kind of got choked up while talking about it and had to rush to the loo, so I wouldn't break down in front of them. I just didn't want to give them that satisfaction. When I came back out, the crowd had dissolved and nobody was sitting in that

area anymore. So I headed out and went back home. I tried not to think about it for the next couple of days, but then my brother reached out to me and told me something that blew my mind. Apparently, the news of our confrontation at that wedding had been doing the rounds of gossip among my relatives and unfortunately, it had reached some people that my parents wouldn't want in on this huge secret. About me having to cover my college expenses myself. They had borrowed money in the passed from a couple of their relatives and told them they needed it to cover my tuition, as well as my brothers and had promised to return it in a couple of years. But now, several years have passed and they still haven't returned that money.

And whenever they were contacted by those relatives, they claimed that they were still struggling financially, even when they weren't and were actually pretty comfortable. They would just be too stingy to return the money that they had borrowed and were using it all to fund my brother's lifestyle. And now, my brother told me that those people had found out about their lives because of what I said at the wedding and three people had filed a lawsuit against my parents, demanding their money back. They hadn't done that so far because they believed that my parents were struggling and didn't want to add to their troubles. But now that they knew the truth, there was nothing that was going to make them hold back. But my brother wanted me to talk

to them and convince them that I had just been lying to save face at the wedding because I didn't want admit that I had been a bad son in front of so many of my relatives. He wanted me to convince them to take back the lawsuits, so our parents could think of something to get them out of trouble. I thought that it was a ridiculous idea and declined, but now he and my parents are demanding that I get them out of trouble because I am the one who got them into the situation. So I'd have for telling my relatives the truth about how my parents hadn't paid for me to go to college. Update 1. So I blocked my brother and I decided to go ahead and post my side my side of the story online for everybody to see. Just in case they had any more tricks up their

sleeve. I had a feeling that they would try to make themselves the same as the victim so I made my move first and I don't feel bad about it because I'm just telling people the truth. They might have borrowed some more money from people who are not even related to us. And they deserve to be in the loop as well. In a way, I'm just doing good for the world and looking out for other people. My parents and my brother have each other to look out for them, unlike me. Because I pretty much always had to look out for myself in that household. So now they'll know how I felt. I can't even believe that my brother tried to guilt trip and manipulate me into lying to cover up for my parents and thought that it had work. To be honest, even while I was making that post, I knew deep down that most people would agree.

I didn't do anything wrong. And the responses to my post just reaffirmed what I already knew. So thank you guys for being on my side in not letting me doubt myself. And I'll also answer some of the very common questions that people were asking in the comments. For starters, I'm not familiar with these relatives who my parents borrowed money from and neither have I ever even met them. So I don't know why they decided to help my parents out, but I guess they were just really kind people and my parents decided to take advantage of that. That's the only possible explanation I can come up with, and I don't think reaching out to them to figure out why they gave my parents the money right now is a good idea. All I am hoping is that these people have some paperwork or documents to show that my parents had borrowed that money and intended to return it, or else I don't think they even have a case against them, which would be a bummer for me. Some of you had also asked about my grandparents and I really don't know what to say about that.

I had never really been close to any of my grandparents. My mom's parents passed away a couple of years ago, but my dad's parents are still alive. It doesn't matter, though, because I have never been in touch with them and even they considered my brother to be the better siblings so they're just irrelevant. They were not the ones who helped me pay for college, contrary to popular belief. No, it was actually all just me, and I worked through college to pay off my tuition along with a little help from a couple of my friends and their parents. I did return all the money to everybody that I had borrowed from eventually after I got my first job. But I never asked for any help from my

parents or my family. So I made it on my own and my parents had no part to play in it. Back then, that was kind of disappointing for me but now, I can proudly say that I accomplished it all myself and that's something I'm really proud of. So I hope that answers all the questions that you guys had about me and my life and clears up everything. I don't know what's going to happen next with my parents and my brother, but whatever happens, I'm going to keep you guys in the loop. I think you folks are pretty much a part of this now, ha ha. Update 2. Okay, it's been two weeks since my first post here and like I said, a couple of my relatives are suing my parents for not returning their money. And thankfully, they did have proof according to what I heard. So my parents are in big legal trouble,

right now, but for some reason, they are being idiots about it and instead of focusing on their defense, they think it's a good idea to come after me and try to harass me into taking their side and admitting that whatever I said at the wedding was a huge lie that I made up to make them look bad. They visited me, along with my brother, a couple of days ago, probably to try and intimidate me or something equally ridiculous. I can understand that desire to set everything right by scaring me into telling a lie about myself because they know that they are in a pretty screwed up situation right now. And their only bet is to make me look like the bad guy. So anyway, they showed up and I almost didn't open my door because I could see that it was them.

But then my brother kept knocking for several minutes and out of sheer annoyance, I let them in but I told them to make it quick because I didn't want to waste my day on them. My father was pretty point-blank and told me that he needed me to lie to cover up for them because they couldn't afford to pay back everybody at once. And needed me to buy them some time. Obviously, now that the cat was out of the bag, it would be difficult to get it back in, but he wanted me to at least try, for the sake of our family and our reputation. I found it pretty ironic that they were talking about family and stuff like that

when we didn't even speak to each other for so long. and I'm pretty sure that in a real family, people at least talk to each other and don't try to manipulate and use the others to their advantage. I told them that I really didn't consider them family anymore and they needed to stop bringing that up again and again. Because it was painfully obvious to me what they were trying to do. They couldn't emotionally manipulate me into taking their side on this and they definitely were not going to try and guilt trip me anymore.

None of their mind games were going to work with me because so far, I know what kind of of people they are and I know that they will stop at nothing to get what they want. So I wasn't falling for any of their little tricks. And when the emotional manipulation didn't work, my brother resorted to other means. By that, I mean that he tried to force me and threaten to put up dangerous posts to defend me and get me fired for my hot-shot job if I didn't comply with them. It was a pretty pathetic attempt because I just told him that if he did any of that, then they could add another lawsuit to their already ongoing list of troubles because I'd all

also be filing for a defamation lawsuit against them. That shut him up but my mom got all defensive and told me that I had no right to try and scare him like this, especially after everything that I had done to the family. I didn't like that because I hadn't done anything to the family. They had brought this all on themselves by lying to people and borrowing money from relatives to fund and enable their golden child. I had no part to play in any of this. And for her to make it sound like I was the one responsible for this was just wrong.

Because I didn't make them take money from their relatives, never return it, and then come up with stupid excuses to avoid paying them back for years. I didn't raise my little brother to be an entitled man-child with no passion or goals, capable of doing literally nothing. That was all on them. So if they wanted to pat somebody on the back for that, they could do it to themselves and keep me out of it. I actually said all of this to my parents and then I told them to get the hell out of my house

because they were wasting my day off and I had more productive and fun things to do. My brother registered at first and got all up in my face, trying to intimidate me, and said that I wasn't going to get away with this and he was going to make sure of that, which was totally hilarious to me because what was he even going to do? Throw his video game controller at me or get his 20-year-old online weirdos to cyber bully me. That really ticked him off and when I told him to brush his teeth more often if he was going to get so close to people to intimidate them, he went completely red in the face and my mom had to drag him away. But it was pretty satisfying for me to watch him struggle to hold back because I knew that he was powerless here and so were my parents. And it felt like just a huge victory to me.

Because after years of being targeted by them, I finally had them begging for help but I was not going to help them so they were going to feel exactly the way I had found. felt when I asked them to pay for me to go to college and they laughed in my face. Update 3, hey, so it's been a couple of weeks since my parents visited me and from what I've been hearing, things haven't been going well for them. My relatives have been saying that they have been going around and telling literally everyone they meet about how they are struggling to keep up with the bills as well as paying the lawyer. And now they also have to worry about how they are going to pay these people back, especially as they are about to retire in a couple of years and this is just coming at the wrong time. Of course, the easiest solution for them would be to just make

their younger son get a real job and do something with his life so he can contribute to the household expenses. But they are not going to do that because they want to spoil him rotten. And they're succeeding at that job because he most certainly is pretty rotten on the inside. They have also been telling people that I felt bad about what I did at the wedding and how I created so much trouble for them, especially after the wonderful childhood that they had given me. And out of guilt, I had apparently offered to pay for the lawyer for them, but my parents had rejected it because they had felt very insulted by me at the wedding and they bragged about how I couldn't buy them out. A couple of my relatives talked to me about it and told me that while they were impressed by how mature and generous I was, they weren't sure if trying to help my parents out was the best thing to do because they weren't exactly trustworthy. I had to reassure them that my parents had been lying and I had done no such thing as they were claiming.

Anytime any of my relatives talked to me about this, I clarified to them that whatever my parents told them was a complete and total lie. Then I told them the real version of what happened, where my family approached me and started begging me to help them out by lying and taking back what I said so it could by them some time, and then, my brother tried to threaten me or whatever it is that he was trying to do. I'm still not sure. And that makes a lot more sense to them than whatever nonsense story my parents had fed them so they don't come out looking bad.

It's amazing to me how they still care so much about how their relatives perceive them. They are in so much legal trouble but they're still trying to portray me as the villain in their story, even when nobody's buying it. I guess their priorities are pretty clear. Literally, nothing is more important to them than making me look bad, LOL. Update 4. Okay, so I recently learned that my parents lost all three cases against them. And they have to pay back the people they had borrowed money from within the next couple of months, which sucks for them, I guess.

But it's great for me, I was really happy when I heard that. Of course, my relatives were the ones who told me about this and they found out because my parents started whining almost immediately about how I had absolutely ruined them and now they would never have any money left after they retired. Even now, they are blaming me for this instead of acknowledging and accepting that this is just the consequence of their own actions. I can't even begin to imagine the mental gymnastics that it would require to come to a conclusion like this after everything that has taken place. It's not surprising though, because I always knew that their life practically revolved around me, even though my brother was the golden child. It was always me who they wanted to put down and portray as the villain in all their stories,

so I guess they're making the most of this opportunity to be the talk of the town for all the wrong reasons. Unfortunately, they don't realize that this is not a good thing and no. nobody has anybody's sympathy for them whatsoever. They just want attention and that's it. They don't care where it comes from and for what reasons they receive it, as long as people are talking to them and about them. They just want an opportunity to whine to people about how difficult their life is because of me and it's more evident now than ever.

Update 5. So, I have great news and I can't wait to share it with you guys. And I hope that it brings as much joy to you, as it did to me. Are you guys ready for it? My brother had to get a job. That's right. I actually feel like the king of the world right now because this is a day that I have been waiting for, for most of my adult life. The day that I would see my brother pushed into actually working instead of just sitting at home and playing games.

I had to work my way through college and make my own path myself, while my brother never had to worry about any of it because he had my parents backing him up. But now, it feels like the universe has brought justice to our family in the most beautiful and poetic way possible. When I was in college, I had to work as a cashier at the diner to be able to pay for stuff, and I recently learned that my brother has had to get a job as a cashier at the video game store because revenge is a dish best served cold. I couldn't believe it when I heard it, so I had to drive all the way to where he works. I even sacrificed my lunch for it, but it was completely worth it when I saw the look at

on his face as soon as I walked into the store. And I relished the opportunity to walk around and make him uncomfortable and angry. It was a petty thing to do but, boy, did I enjoy myself? Before I left, I even asked him if our parents cried on his first day of work like they had on his first day of school and he just flipped me off and told me to leave. But I just loved the sight of that and I really don't think that this year could get any better. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse is considering placing one of our twin girls for adoption in order to allocate funds towards his desired venture.

Consequently, I established stringent terms and initiated divorce proceedings. Instead, hey, guys, so I'm in a bit of a situation right now and I want to know what you guys think. I've read a lot of posts here, but I'm not sure that the situation I'm in right now is very common, so please bear with me. I, 28F, have been married to my husband, 30M, for 10 months and before getting married, we dated for a year. I knew him back in high school, but we reconnected only a year ago through social media. Things were nice at first while we were dating, he was charming and really sweet so I fell for him pretty hard.

One year into the relationship, I accidentally got pregnant and initially wanted to terminate the pregnancy since I didn't think I was ready for a baby, but he convinced me to keep the He reassured me that he'd take care of the expenses and I wouldn't have to worry about any of that, which was the biggest of my concerns. After a few weeks of convincing, I agreed to have the babies and moved in with him as well. Three months after I found out I was pregnant, he proposed to me and I said yes, because we were already living together and things were going well. We got married within two weeks of the proposal and it was a small and intimate ceremony. Everything was smooth sailing relationship-wise until we found out that we were having twins at six months.

Then, things started going a little awry and my husband started distancing himself from me. I tried not to take it to heart because I really wanted to believe that I'd made the right choice, but with time, I was less and less sure of it because the closer I got to my due date, the more the distance between my husband and I increased. I confronted him about it several times, but he told me that he was fine, just nervous about the babies and that's all. I took his word for it and tried not to worry too much, but I couldn't help it. About a month and a half ago, I finally gave birth to two beautiful twin daughters and

I couldn't have been more thrilled about it. My husband seemed happy but that didn't last for long and in fact, he went back to his usual distant and glum self once my daughters were born. He would do everything but wouldn't talk to me and I felt like he didn't even love me or the kids anymore. And then he finally proved me right a week ago by saying that he wanted to give one of our daughters up for adoption because this wasn't part of the plan and he wanted to save money for the future.

By the future, he meant that he wanted to save money so that he could start his own business later on in life but with twins, that wouldn't be possible because the expenses of having a child were now doubled. I was shocked that he would even suggest something like this, but he was quite serious. He told me that he'd been planning to quit his 9 to 5 job for a while now and had wanted to do it in a couple of years, but having to spend money on raising two kids as opposed to one would set him back by several years so this is the easiest solution he could find. I'm obviously against it and we got into a huge fight over it. We didn't speak for days after that fight in yesterday, I finally made up my mind to leave him.

I told him that I wanted to end this marriage because I couldn't stay with a man who was willing to just give one of our kids up, but he got really upset when I said that. He told me that he didn't intend to seem cruel and that he truly did love both his daughters equally. But he also wanted to have a future for himself and he really hated his job, which is what his excuse for his crappy behavior was. I desperately wanted to slap him back to his senses and make him realize how insane he was being but instead, I chose to deal with the situation with a cool mind.

I told him that I'd agree to let him give one of our daughters up for adoption if and only if he agreed to let me claim 75% of whatever his income would be once he did manage to start his own business and he'd also continue to pay 50% of the expenses as child support for the daughter who would be put up for adoption until she turned 18. I told him that I'd talk to a lawyer and have the contract drawn up as soon as possible if he agreed to my conditions right now and would contact an adoption agency at the earliest without question if he said yes. He was dumbstruck when I said that but after contemplating for a few seconds, he told me that I was being unfair and that I didn't understand how much his startup idea meant to him.

He told me he even had friends on board for whenever they'd saved enough and that he'd done a lot of research about investors and whatnot as well, so keeping one of the kids would only do his future plans. He pleaded with me not to leave and not to set forth such absurd conditions either but just to think about his position for a second. Of course, I had no intention of thinking about him or his predicament at all, and neither did I intend to give up either of my daughters because of my husband. I just wanted to mess with him and make him feel just as bad as he'd made me feel and luckily, it was working. He's been begging me to change my mind, but I've made it very clear that he can either agree to my conditions or I'm going to file for divorce.

I was going to file for divorce either way, but I just wanted to buy myself some time to look for an apartment and a lawyer. Today, a friend of mine told me that I could live with her until I found an apartment. She doesn't know the whole situation, but has agreed to let me stay at her place for a while and has even offered to put me in touch with a divorce attorney. A few hours ago, my soon-to-be ex-husband came back from work and actually had the audacity to look shocked when he saw me packing my stuff up to leave. He told me that he hadn't even made up his mind about my conditions yet and said that it was unfair of me to leave before even hearing what he had to say, but I told him that the

conditions I'd set forth yesterday were all bogus and there was just no way I was staying with him anymore. I told him to expect to be served with divorce papers in a few days and prepare himself to pay child support anyway since we were in this equally. He freaked out and said that I'd wasted his time and if I had no intention of staying anyway then I shouldn't have misled him and tricked him yesterday. I was in no mood to deal with him and left him in the living room, having a breakdown on his own. It's been a few hours since I left and I'm at my friend's place currently. A couple minutes ago, my husband sent me a message saying that he'd actually spoken to a lawyer today and he

decided that he was going to agree to my conditions. Now, needless to say, I was really shocked to learn that because I actually hadn't expected him to agree to my bogus conditions. The point of it was to make my husband realize how ridiculous his suggestion about putting up one of our daughters for adoption was, but apparently, he'd been considering it seriously. Now, of course, I don't want to entertain that because I really don't think the conditions mean anything. Even if he'd agreed to let me have 100% of his income, I still wouldn't have given up either of my babies. I'm not going to let go of my child for anything in the world, let alone a business that doesn't even exist yet. So I told him that the conditions weren't real and so neither did any

of what he'd done today matter anymore. He called me a psychotic B-word and told me that he was going to ruin me for messing with his head just to get back at him. Ida for putting forth bogus conditions for my husband when he demanded that we give up one of our daughters, so that he could save money to invest in his future business. Update 1, Hi, Everyone. Thank you so much for the overwhelming support and response and a special hug to everyone who actually bothered to reach out to me and messaged me. I am grateful to everyone who went through my original post and tried to talk to me.

I went through all the comments on my post and I've decided that I don't owe my husband an apology in the slightest because he's the one who messed up, not me. I did the right thing and even if I did try to get into his head with my conditions, he deserved it. A man who's willing to give his own daughter up for adoption is not a man who deserves any sympathy from anyone at all. Now that I think of it, it's actually crazy how he was willing to let go of his own flesh and blood for a non-existent business. He works at a bank, gets paid well, and rarely has to work overtime so it's not like his current job is eating away at his soul, which is a is what he makes it sound like. What a ridiculous man!

I so, a lot of people in the comments had a lot to say about how fast my relationship had moved and called me stupid for allowing myself to get carried away. I won't say I was stupid, but I do agree that I did lower my standard significantly because I'd had a couple of bad relationships in the past and in the beginning, my soon-to-be X seemed like a wonderful guy. Obviously, if I'd had even a clue as to what was going to happen in the future, I wouldn't have started dating him in the first place. At least I have my daughters now, so that's one good thing that came out of this. Looking back now, of course, I think I could have dealt with the situations better than I did, but it's not like I regret anything.

There were also some people who were worried about me because they believed that my husband was unhinged and would try to physically attack me. While that could be a possibility, I don't think he'd try because I'm a lot bigger than him physically. I'm the same height as him and weigh slightly more, but I also go to the gym regularly and I'm trained in kickboxing so it's not exactly like he can take me on. I don't want to shame him but he's comparatively skinny and I'm not afraid of him attacking me in the least. But of course, him attacking my daughters would be a different story. I'm with him most of the time, though, and my husband doesn't know. where my friend lives so it's unlikely that he'll be able to find us. And in the event that he does somehow manage, my friend and I always take turns watching

the kids so I have nothing to worry about. It's really sweet that everyone's concerned about our well-being, but trust me, guys, we're totally and completely safe here. Update 2. So today I finally filed for divorce. It's been a week since I moved out and I've blocked my husband everywhere so he hasn't been able to reach out to me yet. He had called my parents a few days back, but they refused to entertain him and blocked him as well. So have all my friends in right now, he just has no

way to contact me which is peaceful and stress-free for me. I've resumed working from home because I really need the money right now since I don't think my husband is reliable at all. I'm dog tired, but this is my best bet moving forward and I'm lucky that my friend has been kind enough to help me out with a place and also lends a helping hand whenever she's at home and watches the kids for me. She's been doing more than my soon-to-be ex-husband would when I was living with him during the first few weeks after I gave birth. I guess that should have been my signal to hit the road, but I still wanted to continue trying and wanted to make things work with him. I've demanded full custody of my daughters and I don't think it should be too much trouble

obtaining that because, I mean, the guy was willing to give one of the two up for adoption, so I think I need to elaborate. He's clearly not fit to have kids, but since he's the one who convinced me to have them and he's their biological parent as well, he owes it to them whether he wants to do so or not. My lawyer has told me that he'll be served in a couple of days, and I really just hope that he doesn't decide to contest it or do something unnecessary and stupid. He definitely doesn't want me back and neither do I, but I wouldn't put it past him to contest the petition or try to obtain joint custody of our daughters just to be petty and dragged me into a totally unnecessary legal battle so I end up wasting my money on court visits

and lawyers. It's unlikely but it's not impossible that he'd do something like that just to be petty. Besides, he did threaten to get back at me for messing with his head in that text that he sent a week back when he found out that I never intended to give either of my daughters up at all and planned on leaving him anyway. I'm not scared but truth is told, he is in fact financially better off than I am right now and maybe he can afford to waste a ton of money on lawyers and legal issues, but I really can't because I have myself to worry about along with my daughters. I'm lucky that my friend is letting me live with her for the time being, but this can't be a long-term plan and I'll have to start looking for an apartment soon enough.

After that, there will be rent, electricity, water, groceries, and a million other bills to think about. So I'm definitely a little concerned about what is response to this petition. is going to be. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Update 3. Okay, so my husband finally managed to contact me today. I posted that last update a day before and not even 24 hours later, he managed to find a way to bother me. I guess I spoke too soon. I had indeed blocked him everywhere, but unfortunately, he knew about my work email address and I hadn't blocked him there. So he sent me a lengthy email about how I was making a mistake by leaving him and that I couldn't just make a mockery

out of our marriage by leaving him within less than a year. He told me that his parents had been asking about their granddaughters, but he obviously didn't have anything to tell or show them and was getting pretty desperate from what I gathered after I went through his email. It's not surprising that he wants to appease his parents and hasn't even told them about the divorce yet because they're kind of on the more conservative side and don't approve of the idea of divorce at all. And my husband lives in a house that's being paid for by his parents so he has to keep them happy or else he might end up on the streets. Which is probably why he was so desperate to talk to me and pretend like he'd never called me the B word and threatened to ruin me.

He even had the audacity to suggest that we could at least pretend to be married and keep up appearances for his parents' sake for as long as they're around and whatever he'd inherit from them. We'd split it between the two of us. It was at least. It was actually. It was actually pretty funny to go through his email because it made me realize just how delusional this guy was. I mean, if he could suggest that we just give one of our daughters up to save money then trying to strike a deal with me where we pretend to be married for the sake of his parents isn't even the worst idea that he's come up with. It's ridiculous, the lengths that he's willing to go to just to satisfy his greed and I actually feel disgusted with myself forever

believing that this man could have been my soulmate. I can't believe I even stayed married. to this clown for so long even after he started distancing himself from me while I was pregnant with his future kids. That should have been it for me, but unfortunately, I'm too much of a romantic to see things for what they really are and now, this is what I have to deal with. I'm just grateful he's the ridiculous kind of insane that I can laugh at and not the violent kind of insane. I decided to ignore and delete the email and blocked him, but I think he's going to find another way. Update 4. So, my soon-to-be ex-husband decided to visit my parents today.

He'd been served with the divorced papers two days back and obviously, he wasn't taking that well at all. My father called me a few hours ago and told me that my husband was at his door, screaming at the top of his lungs and asking him to tell him where I was hiding so that he could talk to me and get his daughters back. I could even hear him screaming in the background and decided that I'd had enough so I called the cops, reported him, and even drove down there myself to put. press charges for harassing me and my family relentlessly. He seemed pretty torn up when I

showed up at my parents' place with the police and tried to talk to me, but I wasn't having any of it. Involving my parents in this crap fest was the last straw for me and I couldn't let things go anymore just because it was too much of a hassle. He got arrested and was taken away and when he realized that I was serious and wasn't going to speak to him anymore, he started calling me every derogatory name in the book. As if that was going to bother me at all. Once all that was done with, I came back to my friend's house and my parents decided to drop me off because they wanted to see their granddaughters as well.

I hadn't taken them to see my parents for a while because I was always too worried that my husband might do exactly what he did today and I didn't want to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hadn't even realized just how much of my life had been completely taken over with anxiety over what my husband would or wouldn't do and even though I did say that I was a lot stronger than him and he couldn't overpower me. I was still scared because he actually did seem pretty unhinged now and I just didn't want my daughters to go through anything. I guess I'm not as fearless as I believed I was and I definitely am really, really worried about my babies even if I'm not worried about myself that much. So I spoke to my parents about this and even they believe that it's about time that I considered a restraining order against him.

This will definitely help me with the custody case as well as getting the child support out of him, so this wasn't totally useless. It's just so frustrating that this is happening at all. I just wish I hadn't married this guy. Update 5, Hey, everyone. So there was a huge argument that I had with my in-laws today. I guess my soon-to-be ex-husband finally gathered the courage to inform his parents that he was getting divorced and also that he was probably going to lose cousins. custody of his daughters. And they decided to call me and yell at me over it. I wouldn't have answered the call, but they were smart enough to use a number I didn't have saved on my phone

and started off the conversation nicely. In fact, they even extended their sympathies to me, but then, they asked me to reconsider the divorce and when I still refused. They shed any pretense of being understanding and kind and started yelling at me at the top of their lungs. They called me a lot of things and accused me of ruining their son's life on purpose, being a gold digger, and whatnot. I snapped and I know I should have just hung up, but I ended up yelling right back at them because the one thing that I'm not is a gold digger. I have my own gold and I'm definitely not going to stay with a guy who is willing to give up his daughter to save some gold and still asks his parents to pay for his accommodation. I told them that their son is a colossal

loser and even explained what he'd suggested in detail and that seemed to quiet them down. Obviously, he'd left out the parts which made him look bad but now, his parents knew and what would become of him was also in their hands. I don't think they'd like the idea of their own son suggesting that we give up one of our twins to save money, not after all the crap they talk about family values and morals and blah, blah, blah. And they definitely won't like the idea that my husband had us pretending to still be married so that he wouldn't be left out of the inheritance. But that's between him and his parents and not me, so I don't have to care about it. I've already filed for a restraining order and hopefully, it'll be granted

soon enough. Update 6. Hey, I'm back for one final time because I'm supposed to go back to work physically in a few days. A couple of weeks have passed since my last update and this is going to be relatively short since all I have to say is that my soon-to-be ex-husband decided to be. not to contest the divorce and also isn't fighting for custody. I don't know exactly what happened, but I'm guessing that his parents kicked him to the curb and now, if he wants to save money, he can't afford to come after me with all that he's got just to be petty and he definitely cannot ruin me like he'd originally planned to. I'm thrilled because all that's left to do is the settlement negotiations under the supervision

of our respective lawyers since I do have a restraining order against him now. All I care about is the child support, to be honest. And then I can move on with my life and only think about my beautiful daughters. I've moved into a studio apartment and I do miss my friend, but I try to get my parents to help me out with the kids sometimes. I'm doing my best, but I'm sure as hell going to give my kids the childhood and life they deserve. I hope you enjoy this story. Face challenges as a solo father following the death of my spouse, my sibling initially offered assistance but later warned of taking my children from me,

she initiated legal action for guardianship, citing concerns. I was unfit. I'm David, 38, and I work in a small construction company in town. I've always been a hands-on kind of guy, both with my work and at home. My wife Laura and I were partners in everything, raising our kids, managing our home, and just living life together. We were married for 12 years, and we had two beautiful kids, Maria, who's 10, and Jason, who's 7. Both was busy but happy.

Laura was my everything. She worked part-time as a teacher, but she was also the one who held everything together at home. Then, out of nowhere, Laura passed away earlier this year. She was just 36. It turned out she had an undiagnosed heart condition, and one day, she just didn't wake up. I can't even explain what that felt like, it was like the ground got pulled out from under me. And I was trying to figure out how to survive without the person who made everything in my life make sense. Losing Laura threw everything into chaos because I'm working a job

and being a dad is not to be going too easy. Maria became really quiet and withdrawn. She started having nightmares and wouldn't talk to me about what was going on in her head. Jason, on the other hand, acted out. He was getting into trouble at school, refusing to do his homework, and just generally being difficult. I didn't know what to do. I was barely holding it together myself, and suddenly, I had to figure out how to be both parents while still managing my work. It was a mess. I started working less so I could be there for the kids, but I still felt like I was failing at everything. That's when my sister-in-law, Alan, started getting more involved. At first, I was grateful.

She's Laura's younger sister, 34, married to George. They don't have kids, though not for lack of trying. Alan's had a tough time with fertility issues. She's been through IVF a few times, but it never worked out. I know that's been hard for her, especially since she always saw Laura's family life as perfect. Alan was the kind of person who always wanted what Laura had. I could see it in small things over the years. I'd always make comments about how Laura was lucky to have kids, a loving husband, and a job that let her be home a lot.

I think she felt like Laura's life was what she was supposed to have but didn't get. I didn't pay too much attention to it back then, but looking back now, maybe I should have. When Laura passed, Alan stepped in, offering to help with the kids. She would come over to help with meals, laundry, and other kids. stuff around the house. Honestly, I was in such a fog that I didn't question it. I needed the help. She started spending a lot of time with Maria and Jason, taking them to the park or just hanging out with them while I tried to juggle work and keeping the house in order. It seemed like she really cared, and maybe she did. But things started to feel off after a while.

Alan would make little comments here and there, criticizing the way I was handling things. She'd say, things like, don't you think you're working too much? Or the kids need someone who can be with them full time. I thought maybe she was just concerned. But then she started making more decisions for the kids without asking me. She'd tell me that Maria needed this or Jason needed that, and if I disagreed, she'd act like I didn't know what was best for them. I knew Alan had always wanted to be a mom, and I felt for her, I really did.

But it started to feel like she was trying to step into Laura's shoes in a way that went beyond just helping out. She started suggesting that the kids spend more time at her house, which I thought was a little weird, but I figured she was just trying to help in her own way. It wasn't until things got worse that I realized how much she had been overstepping. Alan's behavior kept escalating. She began talking to Maria and Jason about staying with her more often, and it was clear that she was trying to undermine me as a parent.

She'd tell them things like, wouldn't it be fun to live at Aunt Allen's house? You could have your own room, and I could be home with you all the time. I could tell Maria was getting confused, and Jason, being younger, didn't really understand what was going on. But they were kids, and of course,

they liked the idea of more attention and fun at Alan's house. It wasn't just that, though. Alan started openly criticizing me front of the kids. She'd tell Maria that I was too busy working and didn't have enough time for them, or she'd suggest that Jason was acting out because I wasn't paying enough attention. I was trying my best, but I started to feel like I was being pushed out of my own family. Alan acted like she knew better than me, and it was clear she wanted to take over as the primary caregiver for my kids. The breaking point came one day when I overheard Alan on the phone

with her husband, George. She didn't know I was nearby, but I heard her telling him that she thought it would be better if she and George adopted Maria and Jason. She said that I wasn't handling things well and that the kids needed stability, which she believed I couldn't provide. I was furious. This wasn't about helping anymore. She was trying to take my children away from me. I couldn't hold back anymore. I confronted Alan that same day, and things got heated fast. I asked her what the hell she thought she was doing, talking about adopting my kids behind my back. Alan didn't deny it. Instead, she doubled down, saying that she was only trying to do what was best for Maria and Jason. She accused me of neglecting them and focusing too much on my work,

saying they needed a parent who could be there for them full time. I couldn't believe what I was I told her that I was their father and that she had no right to even suggest taking them from me. She fired back, telling me that if I didn't get my act together, she would report me to child protective services for neglect. I was stunned. Alan, the person I thought was helping me, was now threatening to take my kids away. After that argument, I knew I couldn't let her have that kind of control over my family anymore. I told her that she needed to back off and that the kids wouldn't be staying with her again unless I said so. Alan didn't take that well, and things quickly spiraled out of control from there.

Alan wasn't bluffing. A few days later, I got served with papers. She had filed for emergency custody of Maria and Jason. In her filing, she claimed that I was an unfit parent, citing my long work hours and the emotional neglect of the kids. I was scrambling. I had to find a lawyer fast, and I had no idea how to defend myself against these accusations. It wasn't like I could quit my job, I needed the income to support my family. But Alan had built a case against me, and it felt like she was going to win. I was terrified that I might actually lose my kids. I'm reaching out here for advice because

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm doing my best, but maybe I'm not enough. Is Alan right? Am I failing as a father? What can I do to protect my children and keep my family together? Update 1. Once I got over the initial shock of Allen's custody filing, I realized I had to fight back. I couldn't let her take my kids. My lawyer told me we had to gather as much evidence as possible to show that I wasn't neglecting Maria and Jason, so that became my focus. The first thing I did was adjust my work schedule. I cut down my hours even more and started coming home earlier, making sure I was the one to pick up the kids from school and be around for dinner and bedtime.

I also hired a part-time nanny to help after school so that, even when I couldn't be there, the kids had someone they trusted. It wasn't about replacing myself as their parent, but I wanted to show the court that I was making efforts to create a stable environment for them. On top of that, I enrolled Maria and Jason in grief counseling. The loss of their mother had been so hard on them, and I hadn't realized how much help they needed in dealing with their emotions. The therapist was great, and I could already see a difference in how they were handling things, especially Maria. As for Alan's increasing interference, I started documenting everything.

Every time she made a comment about my parenting or tried to make decisions for the kids without my permission, I wrote it down. I saved texts and emails, anything that could help me show how she was trying to make. trying to manipulate the situation. I also reached out to people who could vouch for me. My employees, some clients, and the kids' teachers all knew what I was going through, and they had seen firsthand that I was doing my best to take care of my family. They were willing to testify or write letters on my behalf if needed. The support from the people around me gave me hope that I could win this, but it didn't stop Alan from escalating things even further.

Alan wasn't backing down, and she was getting more desperate. She started using social media to spread lies about me, painting me as a workaholic who neglected my kids. She posted vague but nasty things about how some people don't deserve to be parents if they can't prioritize their children. She didn't name me directly, but it was obvious to anyone who knew us what she was talking about. On top of that, she began manipulating other family members. She'd tell them half-truths, like how I was always working and barely around for the kids, without mentioning that I was still making time for them as much as possible. Some family members started calling me, concerned, and even questioning if Alan might be right.

It felt like she was turning people against me, and it made everything ten times harder. But the worst part was how she started trying to alienate Maria and Jason from me. She would tell Maria that I was thinking about sending her to boarding-south. school, which wasn't true at all. Maria came to me in tears one night, asking if I didn't want her anymore. I was furious that Alan would mess with her head like that. She even tried to make Jason feel like I was disappointed in him, telling him that his acting out at school was my fault because I wasn't giving him enough attention. I had to sit both kids down and reassure them that none of what Alan was saying was true, but it was hard for them to understand. They were already

confused and hurt from losing their mom, and now their aunt was making things even worse. The preliminary hearing came faster than I expected. Alan's lawyer presented all this evidence of my supposed neglect, which included photos of my house on a messy day, because yeah, sometimes things get messy when you're a single parent, and instances where I had missed school events, which happened when I was barely holding it together after Laura's death. Alan also testified about how distressed the kids were, making it seem like that. like I was the cause of their emotional struggles, instead of acknowledging that they were grieving

the loss of their mother. When it was my turn, my lawyer presented our evidence. I showed the court that I had made adjustments to my work schedule, that I had hired help to ensure the kids were cared for, and that both Maria and Jason were in grief counseling. I also had letters from their teachers showing that the kids were starting to adjust and do better, little by little. The judge didn't make a final ruling at the hearing, but he did order home evaluations and interviews with the children. This wasn't over yet, but at least I had a chance to show the court that I was doing everything in my power to be the best father I could. During all of this, someone I hadn't expected to hear from reached out, Laura's best friend,

Angela. She'd been close with Laura since high school, and we had always stayed in touch, though we hadn't seen much of each other since the funeral. Angela told me she had been watching from the sidelines, but she couldn't stay quiet anymore. She was furious with Alan and wanted to help however she could. Angela revealed some things I hadn't known about. Apparently, Alan had always been jealous of Laura, not just for having kids but for the life she lived in general. She told me about conversations she'd had with Alan over the years, where Alan would talk about how it wasn't fair that Laura got everything while she struggled to conceive. She also said Alan had been making

weird comments since Laura's death, almost like she thought it was her turn to fix things by taking over Laura's role as a mother. Angela was willing to testify on my behalf, and honestly, her coming forward felt like a lifeline. She knew Alan better than most, and she could help show the court what was really going on, that this wasn't about the kids' well-being but about Alan's obsession with having the family life she always wanted. One night, while I was tucking Maria into bed, she looked up at me and said, Dad, I don't want to live with Aunt Allen. I want to stay with you.

That broke my heart because I could see how scared she was. Both of my kids just wanted to stay with me, but Alan was making them question everything. Update 2, the day of the custody trial finally arrived, and I can't even describe the stress leading up to it. I tried to keep calm for their sake, but inside, I was panicking. If Alan somehow won, I didn't know how I'd cope with losing my kids. Alan's lawyer started the trial by painting this picture of me as an overworked, distracted dad who couldn't provide a stable environment for the children. She made this emotional plea, talking about how the kids were struggling with their mom's

death and how they needed a full-time parent to help them heal. Allen, of course, claimed that she was that parent. Her lawyer even brought in a so-called expert who testified that children in grief need constant attention and that a stay-at-home parent would be best for their emotional recovery. I knew it was coming, but it still felt like a punch to the gut hearing someone suggest I wasn't enough for my own kids. But the real turning point was when the therapist who'd been working with Maria and Jason testified. She talked about how grief was a long process, but that the kids had a strong bond with me and that they were gradually finding stability in our home. She also made it clear that taking them away from their father, the one constant they had left, would only hurt them more.

I thought that was going to be the highlight of my defense. But then came a surprise I never saw coming, George, Allen's husband, asked to testify. George had been quiet throughout this whole ordeal. I didn't know him well, but I assumed he was supporting Alan in her attempts to gain custody. So, when he took the stand, I didn't know what to expect. What happened next shocked everyone. George admitted, under oath, that he was deeply concerned about Alan's behavior. He said that, over the past few months, she had become obsessed with the idea of taking over as Maria and Jason's mother.

He revealed that Alan had always struggled with Laura's perfect family life and had even expressed jealousy when Laura was still alive. He went on to explain that Alan's desire to adopt my children wasn't about their well-being, it was about fulfilling a need in herself, one that had grown out of her fertility struggles and grief. George also confessed that he hadn't supported Alan's decision to file for custody, but she had gone behind his back. He said he was worried about her mental state and felt that Alan wasn't in the right mindset to be taking on the responsibility of raising two grieving children. Alan looked like she had been hit by a truck, and I could see the judge's expression shift as well.

This was a huge blow to her case, and I think everyone in that room knew it. As if things weren't already intense enough, the next part of the trial was Maria's testimony. The judge had decided to hear from both kids, but given their ages, they didn't have to testify in the formal courtroom. Instead, they were interviewed in a more private setting by a child advocate, and those interviews were shared with the court. Maria, my sweet, quiet daughter, was brave enough to tell the advocate that she wanted to stay with me. She said she loved her Aunt Allen but that she felt safe and loved at home with her dad. She talked about how I'd been there for her, how I took time off work to pick her up from school,

and how we were slowly figuring things out together. She even mentioned that she liked seeing the grief counselor because it was helping her deal with missing her mom. When asked about Alan, Maria said she sometimes felt confused because Alan kept telling her things that made her worry, like the idea that I might send her away to a boarding school or that I wasn't able to take care of her and Jason. But she was clear, she didn't want to leave her home, and she didn't want to live with anyone but me. Jason's interview wasn't quite as detailed because of his age, but he said, similar things. He told the advocate that he loved his dad and wanted to stay with me. Hearing their voices on the recording tore me apart. They were scared, they were confused, but at the end of the

day, they trusted me to take care of them. After everything was laid out, I was terrified, but at the same time, I felt like we had done everything we could. The judge took a few days to make a final decision, but when we were called back into court, I finally heard the words I had been praying for, the custody would remain with me. One condition of the ruling was that I maintained my current child care arrangements, which meant continuing with a part-time nanny and keeping the kids in counseling. I had no problem with that, I wanted to do everything I could to make sure Maria and Jason were supported and safe. I finally felt like I could breathe again. But even though I had won the legal battle, I knew things weren't going to magically return to normal overnight.

The relief I felt after the judge's ruling was incredible, but it was clear that Alan wasn't handling the decision well. After court, she had an emotional breakdown, right there in the hallway. She cried and screamed, saying that she had only been trying to do what was right for the kids. George tried to calm her down, but it was clear that she felt betrayed, not just by the court but by her own husband. I felt a little bad for her, honestly. I know how much she wanted children, and in her mind, she probably believed she was doing the right thing. But that didn't excuse her actions, and I had to keep reminding myself that this wasn't about her needs, it was about Maria and Jason's.

Afterward, George reached out to apologize for his role in all of this. He said he was going to help Alan get the support she needed, both emotionally and mentally, but he understood if I wanted to keep some dissoning. for now. I appreciated that, but I wasn't ready to fully forgive either of them. I still had a lot of anger about how they had tried to take my kids from me. With the trial behind us, I focused on getting back to a routine that worked for all of us. I kept my work hours flexible, making sure I was there for the kids in the mornings and evenings. I also spent more time talking to them about their feelings, especially Maria. We started having regular check-ins, where we'd sit down and talk about how things were going. It wasn't always easy, sometimes she didn't want to talk, but I think it helped

her know that I was there for her. So that's it for now, I don't know when I will give out another update, but I hope this one is the final one for now. I hope you enjoy this story. wealthy partners dad disowned her for maintaining a relationship with her unfaithful mother. This is partly a way for me to vent. My partner recently became utterly upset. Cut off. She just went from getting a large monthly allowance to nothing. Meanwhile, she has rent due next month.

Her personal savings will keep her afloat for a few months, but reality hasn't sunken yet. I live with her, and we split utilities. So that softens the blow a bit, but she is fully responsible for rent. Because half the rent in this place would quite literally be my monthly income. Thankfully, she has options. She is well liked by my parents, and they've said that we can both move in with them. But she refuses to do it. She refuses to change her spending habits and on her current trajectory will burn through

$50k in savings in less than six months. I love this person, but I'm starting to see how divorced from reality her upbringing has allowed her to be. The worst part is that I feel partly responsible. I've allowed my girlfriend to spoil me rotten. We've been living in upper middle class life as college students. I certainly wasn't complaining. The only good news is that she has amazing credit, but if she doesn't adjust her lifestyle, it won't be that way for long. More info.

She is a full-time student and has never held down a real job before. Real being not working in some way for her parents. Her income is zero, so there is no splitting stuff evenly. I've tried to talk about it, but it's not an experience I'm familiar with. It's funny how when you have a lot of money, there's no need to talk about it. I'm not going to abandon her or make ultimatums. She is responding with apathy about it at this point. I'm not worried about it.

What happens, happens, and it's hard to break through that. She has savings, but she just doesn't seem to get that they are going to run out. I'm not going to move out, but I can send a message through my actions that I don't 100% agree with what she is doing. If I move, it will be to my parents. I work a part-time job as an engineering intern. I simply don't make enough to live on my own in this city. I'm definitely going to try and get her to budget if only to see that what she is doing now won't work over the long term. Part of me thinks that she doesn't seriously think this is permanent, and there's no reason for her not to think that.

And another part of me thinks that she doesn't care that she is burning through her savings. I think she is ultimately a reasonable person too. She has just never had to deal with any of this stuff before. The rent is very high. A part-time job is not going to help her too much. There are definitely areas where she can cut back, though. I mean, we go out to eat into movies occasionally, we eat organic as much as possible, and she spends a significant amount on clothes slash beauty items slash services for herself.

And to a lesser extent on me in clothes slash toys slash food slash medicine for our dog. As I said, I know where and how to cut back. It's just a matter of getting her to do it. Her parents have never done anything like this before. She has always been Daddy's little girl. Daddy is going through a divorce, however, and he wants his little girl to cut her mother out of her life since she cheated on him. Basically, he is trying to ruin his soon-to-be ex-wife in every way possible.

It's really ugly. He made it sound as if it was about her grades, but in reality, he is trying to punish her for not cutting ties with her mother as all of his other kids have. He doesn't give a shit about her grades. He is still paying for her education. He just stopped giving her funds every month. Now, her father was the victim of being cheated on, but it's pretty low for him to punish his daughter because she still wanted to talk to her mother. However, I know this guy well enough to know how much he loves his daughter. And even though I'm not a betting man, if I was, I would be willing to bet that he caved sooner or later update one.

So we had a nice pillow talk last night as suggested by a few people in my initial post. I decided to take the long view and I decided to suggest she set up a budget. But most importantly, I decided to express how I felt totally honestly paraphrasing. I said, I feel like you're not concerned about this situation and I don't really understand it. You know, I'm the sort that immediately takes action on things and I know that you're not that way, but usually you express something to me about it. I feel like you're too apathetic about this and it bothers me. I'm afraid that you're in shock and you don't know how to handle this. If you honestly just need space on this subject or aren't ready to deal with it, that's fine.

Just let me know. I get that. However, when you are ready, I really suggest you make a budget with it. or without my help. You could use this as an opportunity to work towards a situation where you don't have to worry about your father being manipulative. Her response was basically to be honest, I'm worried, but I'm trying to wait it out and see if you will go through with it. I talked to Brother Name, and he told me that Dad hasn't actually done anything, i.e. cut me off and that Dad is pretty upset at himself about how he handled it. I'm still angry at him,

and maybe it makes me petty, but I want him to come to me about this. I will definitely take you up on the offer to help with a budget though. This whole thing has shaken my world a bit, you know. Something that I thought would never happen, happened. One minute I'm thinking about hiring a cleaning lady that will come more often. The next year talking about us moving in with your parents and paying them by cleaning their house, it's like, wow, that's a crazy role reversal. My confidence in my father is sort of shaken. I think I was so apathetic because of that.

So fast forward to the following morning, and shortly after breakfast, to my pleasant surprise, she said she had gotten wine up and asked me to go through everything with her. In short order, it was really clear to her that things needed to change a huge, huge amount, and it clearly wasn't a pleasant experience for her, but she stuck with it. After we were mostly done we took a break and went to go run some errands together. She was pretty quiet in the car until she decided to call her father. The conversation was quite personal, but as it turns out, he didn't really want her to cut her mother out of her life. It seemed he just wanted acknowledgement from his children that he didn't fail them by divorcing her.

He grew up in a place and time where divorce was frowned upon. He told her that an hour after he told her she was cut off, he changed his mind and that he wasn't going to go through with it, regardless of whatever happened between her. them. As you can imagine she cheered up considerably about the whole thing and became her usual bubbly self. So when we got home I felt the need to have another conversation, and it seemed like the appropriate time. Paraphrasing again, I said, this whole situation has got me thinking about our relationship with money as a couple. It's odd because it isn't something we talk about at all. I like sharing a space with you, I love holding you while you fall asleep at night, I love tickling you awake with my nose, I love you, I will love you, here, or in my parents' basement.

However, you know that I can only afford one of those two places. I guess what I'm saying is, that I don't want our relationship to be based on stuff, and I want you to understand that. You've spoiled me over the last 14 months, but that's not our relationship. Maybe there comes a time for whatever reason that you don't want to sort of support me anymore as you do, but you still want to be in a relationship. Maybe you feel like our financial situation creates a power imbalance, whatever, what I'm trying to say is, that I want you, not the lifestyle, if you ever feel the need, to move to a place that's cheaper, a place that I can contribute in a fairer way too, that's fine, just as long as we live together, I'm happy. Even if that's in my parents' basement. Her initial response was somewhat bewildered, are you trying to say you're unhappy here?

After I cleared it up that that wasn't the case, she said, paraphrasing, I try to avoid money talk because it's always been awkward. It's hard having money and wanting to do expensive things with people who don't have money. Suddenly you're in my house and there isn't anyone in the world right now, I want to do stuff with more. I have someone I can spend my money on to go skiing with, go out to eat with, do arts and crafts with, and generally not have to worry about that sort of thing with. As far as the living expenses go, it's not like I would be living anywhere else if you weren't around, so that's not really relevant. I like spending my money on you. The key thing is, it's my money, I should be able to do anything I want with it, including spoiling you, as you say, as long as you respect that boundary, that it's my money, it's not something we have to think about. To be honest, it was weird when you asked me to create a budget, and it sort of felt like you were about to cross that boundary, but you were you were.

you handled it well, I felt like it was my choice the whole way, and that motivated me. This dovetailed into another discussion about the budget, and to be perfectly honest, she softened it significantly, but she kept many common-sense cuts, I'm optimistic that this is something she will stick to. Now, she's certainly right in saying that it's her money, directly lying from her father, sure she didn't earn it, but I'm not going to judge or fault her for that, it's a very different situation to many other people, but that's the world she lives in. so, I'm just trying to approach it as a gift, nothing more, nothing less. And I should treat it as such, i.e. not feel bad about it, but never expect anything.

Now for the next story. She wanted to marry me in a year, I didn't want that, so I broke up with her, story two, throw away because she knows my real account. Also, I'm Italian and prefer Wario to Mario, a little background, I've only had two LTRS before her. My high school girlfriend whom I was with for six years, 1622, and my other girlfriend whom I was with for four years, 2,630, both breakups were amicable, with no infidelity or shady happenings, they were primarily my fault, due to how I prioritized studying slash work over them, I'm still friends with my second girlfriend. Who is now married to a good man and has two kids, in between those relationships and before I met my current girlfriend, I've been keeping things casual, with no commitment, I met my current girlfriend six months ago at a bar while out with some friends and as corny as it sounds, it was love at first sight. She was unquestionably the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, easily 15 tenths, we got to talking, went on some amazing dates, and made things official after one month, I was just enamored by her sense of humor, how enthusiastic and exciting she was, and always in awe of her beauty, although we don't have too many interests in common. The chemistry is tremendous and I've never felt so strongly attracted to anyone before,

we already said we loved each other four months in and I truly believe it, but lately, some things started to bother me, when she introduced me to her friends, she bragged about me being a doctor. It was seemingly light-hearted so I laughed and then jokingly bragged about it too, when she introduced me to her parents she did the same thing but with a bit more gusto this time, and over the last month and a half, she's been talking more and more about marriage and and children. Although never quite explicitly saying that we would get married and have kids, the hints are strong, though, last week we went to a charity event she was involved in and

every single person she introduced me to that night, she said the same thing, hello, this is my lovely boyfriend and a man I will spend my life with, op, he's a cardiologist. You know, I've always been fairly modest about what I do so it was uncomfortable for me to hear her dush about my job to strangers, I was feeling uncomfortable but smiled and when, went along with it so as not to dampen her mood, and the man I will spend my life with part hit me like a speeding truck. She didn't say future husband but fuck me if I don't know what her implication was, I love my girlfriend and I did believe prior to all this that I would eventually marry her and have children with her, but I didn't expect this to come up fucking five months

in, now I'm fearing that she's just a gold digger and is using me as a provider. She moved in after three just months, I truly hope that isn't the case but the signs sure seem to point to it, and if it is that way, I think I'll break up with her, so I'm here to ask, am I overthinking this or is the worst true? I pray to God I'm looking too far into this, but now that I'm actually reading what I wrote, this is terrifying, I can't even confront her about this for fear of turning her away from me, I can't accuse her of using me for my money and still expect her to stay with me or respect me after that, more info, I realize I come across as shallow. I don't just care about her looks,

I will admit that her looks are what attracted me to her in the first place, but her personality is what kept me around, as I said, we don't share too many common interests, different tastes in movies, books, hobbies, etc. But we can talk for hours about the most mundane things and still have fun doing so, she is delightful, easygoing, and hilarious, a joy to be around and we do connect really well, it's not just about appearance and sex, despite what some posters are saying about me. My friends get along with her well enough but don't really feel we're right for each other. My mother is dead, my father doesn't like her too much and says she's shallow, I respect my father more than anyone else in the world, we got into a fight over what he said, but this was

still when I was pathetically blind in love with her. She works in retail and said she wants to be a stay-at-home mom like her own mother was, she doesn't really contribute financially to the household, but she does take care of the household stuff, vacuuming, cooking, laundry, etc., she handles most of it, I pay the bills myself and also pay for new furniture, appliances, etc. She does pay sometimes when we go out, though, I don't want to pay for everything for her, I would like her to lend more of a hand to our finances but given our income gap, I understand why she won't. I know I was stupid to agree to her moving in after only three months, but I was so hopelessly blinded by love that I forced myself to only see the good in letting her move in so

early, and she was having some problems with her roommate, so I was willing to help her out, in any case. I'm not really interested in having children right now, so I always use a condom and she is on birth control and a pre-nup is a necessity if we do get married, the speed at which things are going, the massive disparity in our incomes, her incessant mentions of marriage and children. And introducing me as a doctor to every single person she wants me to meet is what makes me think that she's with me only because I'm a doctor, and the thing is, I hate telling people I'm a doctor, I didn't even tell her until the third date, I don't like being paraded about, update, she is a gold digger. I was fairly certain of this before I spoke to her,

but then a redditor argued the following points and helped me see things more clear, few common interests, certainly not a necessity, but often people in relationships share at least some interests, short courtship, there's no hard rule about this. But cohabitation after three months is generally frowned upon because neither party really knows what they're getting into, introduces you as a doctor, I get introducing you to her parents as the doctor, that would make any parent happy about the situation, but to everyone else. it just be my wonderful boyfriend? Income disparity, again, there is nothing wrong with people from two different economic groups falling in love, but the gap has to be relatively large, no. Hinting at marriage and kids, after six months. Dude, as much as you don't know her, she doesn't really know you, it's certainly possible that she's just immature, but with everything else.

Past relationship history, from your comments, having lots of short relationships is, again, not a bad thing in and of itself, but you have to wonder why they were so short, was it the guys? Could be, but the common denominator is her, financial contribution, from your comments, she doesn't contribute to your shared household, now, if this was discussed and established beforehand, well, whatever works for you guys, and she works in retail, so she can't be an equal contributor with you. But it seems like you have taken on the provider role as a default without actually talking about it, so all of these things, taken together, would certainly indicate that she is a gold digger, but, I was still willing to talk it out in the hopes that I would be wrong, so, Saturday

night I took her out to dinner at a May-level restaurant. The first bad omen was that she got a bit miffed and asked why we weren't going to an elegant restaurant like we usually do, I said I didn't want to spend hundreds on a meal that night, I could tell she was annoyed, the food at the mediocre restaurant was still great, but she wasn't very happy during the meal, after dinner. We came home and I told her I needed to speak to her about future plans. First, I explained that we need to spend less on luxuries and save up for retirement and for my other projects. This is also true, as I do intend to retire within the next 20 years and I'm looking to get into real estate.

She was upset about this. Next. I told her I don't have any interest in marrying soon or having kids yet. This isn't a lie. I truly do not want to get married or have children yet. She got upset again, saying I'm just getting. getting older, and that soon I won't be able to have a family, she said it was not fair to her for me to keep stringing her along without committing. And this caused me to do a double take, what the fuck, I let her move in with me, I pay all

the bills, I buy her tons of shit all the time, and I'm strictly monogamous, what other commitment aside from the fancy wedding is there, I told her this and she was now visibly frustrated, she said she wants marriage and children soon. I told her she can do that with another person since we're not on the same page, she started yelling at me for being an asshole so I told her that one day I would marry her, probably within the next three, four years, I thought this was reasonable enough, but she said she wants marriage now, she wants to be Mrs. Op by this time next year. I told her that we could definitely get married early but only if we get a pre-nup, she flipped out, screaming that I don't

trust her and think lowly of her, I brought up every point the Redditor mentioned, that I put at the of the update. I mentioned everything from the income disparity to the astoundingly fast pace of the relationship to her constant parading me around as a doctor, I told her that all of those facts as well as her present behavior proved to me that she's a gold digger, I told her we were done, at this point, she breaks down into tears and is mumbling incoherently. I tell her I'll help her find an apartment and cover her expenses for a month, I called her friend, who's on good terms with me, to pick her up, she left soon after without much protest, she's still at her friends, she's been texting me asking if she can come home, I agreed and she's coming back tomorrow.

I'll serve her the eviction notice tomorrow, I plan to help her search for affordable housing and I'm willing to help her get on her feet, I know she's a gold digger and doesn't deserve this courtesy but the last five months have been pretty great and I feel it's the least I can do, eventually, we will phase out into no contact, that's it for me. It's sad that things Things turn out like this, but like a few users pointed out, it's better to end things now than years into marriage, when I have nothing to talk about with her because we share almost no interests. We're done, she's moving out, and I'm going to venture forth into the dating world in search of a woman who loves me, not my wallet. Wario Forever I hope you enjoy this story. Allow the parents of my late spouse to spend time with my child as a gesture of goodwill, but they are now attempting to take custody away from me.

alleging in legal proceedings that I am not a suitable parent due to my habits. Got a new boyfriend. I, 30F, am the single mother of Clara, 2F. My pregnancy wasn't planned, I had a no-strings-attached relationship with her father, Jack, 30s M, for seven months when I became pregnant unexpectedly. He lived in another state, but would visit my city monthly for business reasons and we hit it off after meeting in a bar. We thought about our options regarding the pregnancy, but I decided to keep the baby. Jack wanted to be part of her life, so we planned to raise the baby together but not as a couple, just co-parents. Unfortunately, Jack's passed away during my pregnancy.

Jack's parents, Linda and James, knew that I was pregnant when he passed. We already had done a prenatal paternity test at the time. We were all devastated by his passing, but of course his parents were destroyed by it. Clara is their first and only grandkid and she became their beacon of light in a dark time, as they say. They have other two daughters, Ruth, 37F, and Lily, 27F, but they don't have children. Ruth is trying to conceive for a long time with her husband and Lily is child-free and single. Jack's whole family lives in another state, with the exception of Lily, that lives abroad. They have a family business so their life is there, while I have my family. family and career in my current city, where I live with Clara. Since Clara was born we have an

agreement, nothing legal, but we all agreed with visitations for her grandparents and aunts. They usually visit Clara twice a month. James and Linda are the ones that visit the most, but Ruth also shows up sometimes. I really appreciate their presence on her life. Since the beginning, a point of content on our relationship was traveling with Clara to their state. They have a big property that's in their family for over 100 years and have a family business too. In their small town they are treated as almost royalty and wanted Clara to experience that. I understand that it's good for my daughter to know her heritage, but I always put my foot down on the idea of their traveling with her without me. I already visited their hometown three times

with Clara since she was born, but this isn't enough apparently. Our relationship wasn't perfect. I had some issues with Linda meddling way too much on my parenting, but we were civil until I started my current relationship. I'd been dating Ted, 34M, for almost a year and things are tense with James and Linda. Ted and I don't live together and he has a daughter, Marie 4F, that lives with him. Linda has expressed disapproval to his constant presence in my house, which is not true. Both of us work a lot and between our kids and other priorities we probably see each other three to four times a week. to Marie having played dates and sleepovers with Clara and the list go on. The woman will find a way to comment something even about Ted's car parked in front of my house.

Things escalated when two weeks ago I emailed Linda, James and Ruth an invite for Christmas Eve. Ted and I will have a get-together with our families and close friends. I decided to invite Clara's grandparents so they can expend Christmas Eve with her, but I also let them know that if they prefer they can take her for lunch on Christmas Day. The next day Linda texted me that they already had plans to take Clara to their home on Christmas. I said that this was not happening. I didn't hear anything from her for about two days. Linda called me stating that she gave me two days to cool off and be reasonable. I asked what she meant, and she said they have rights over Clara and they had waited too much to take her home for Christmas.

Now she is bigger and can travel without me. I said that this was never discussed and I will not let them travel with my daughter without even discussing with me before. Linda said this was the discussion before the travel. I laughed on the call and said she was delusional. Things escalated quickly after that. I was accused of trying to replace Jack on Clara's life. I also said some things that were a little cruel about Jack never even meeting Clara. After Linda hung up on me, James called and tried to reason with me.

He let it slip that they bought Clara's plane tickets two months ago without asking me first. I said there's no way I would let them walk all. over me. James lost his temper and demand that I should apologize to Linda or we will go to court over this. I didn't back down and said they were choosing to fight over this, not me. Well, after some time of silence from them I was served with court papers, they are suing me over custody of Clara and are stating I am unfit as a mother. I already have a lawyer who I consult before a fight over the phone, she told me yesterday they have almost zero chance of getting any custody. The most they can get is visitation.

But still I am worry about this becoming a legal battle. People on my life are divided. Part of them think I did nothing wrong by putting up boundaries and others think it's petty of me to start a fight with my daughter's grandparents when I could let them travel with her for Christmas when I know they are good grandparents and will take care of her. Ada Some clarifications are needed. One, how Linda and James know details about my life.

How they know about Ted's car and Marie's play dates. They do live in another state, but they visit often. At least twice a month they come to see Clara, and they come to my house to pick her up and to leave her after their outings. This is how Linda realized Ted's car on the front of my driveway, since I live in a gated community, and it's forbidden this type of parking unless it's the homeowner's car. The first time she saw his car, Linda asked if I would call the security to tow the car, and I said no because it was Ted's they also used to FaceTime Clara three times a week, that's how they learned about some of her play dates and sleepovers with Marie. They called when Marie was still at the house with Clara and saw her. Two, they expected my

toddler to travel alone on a plane? No. I think I couldn't explain well enough. James said they would travel to my city, take Clara with them on the plane to their state, and after a week they would bring her back. She was never supposed to travel alone, for what they were planning. 3. Do I believe they were going to kidnap my daughter? I don't know. I think it's possible. Some comments made me paranoid to be honest. James said they bought her tickets back, but I don't think I should trust him without proof. Their word means nothing now. Four, do I still have contact with them? No, my lawyer advised me to cut all visits, video calls with Clara and only communicate with my daughter's grandparents through our lawyers. They are not blocked on my

phone, but I will not receive any call from them. If they text me or email me, I'll have it sent to my lawyer. Trust me, today was all about making an FU binder and documenting every little thing. Thank you a lot for the advice, guys. And don't worry much, Clara and I live in a very secure community, with cameras and armed security. Nobody will take her from me. Comments where OPP has replied, commenter one. NTA. They bought plane tickets two months ago without asking you? That's not planning ahead, that's delusional travel agency energy. You are Clara's mom and not some vacation rental they can book on Airbnb OOP.

Exactly. That's what pissed me off the most. Who does that with someone else's child? They act like Clara is their child, not mine. Commenter too. If I were you, I would get the most aggressive underhanded lawyer I could find to drag their names through the mud, you cannot trust your child with them. They do not respect you. They are selfish and unreasonable fight fire with fire, NTA OOP. My lawyer is a very fierce lady with almost 20 years

of experience in family law. My sister is a lawyer and was her student on college. She immediately said I should phone her former teacher and I did. Comment her three. NTA, this is your child. They have no right to demand anything, and you were kind enough to include them in your life at all. Do you have a security system at your house? I would be worried about them showing up. Oh, O.P, I have a very good security system in my home. My dad made sure to supervise the installation when I moved to my house while pregnant. There's no way they will show up without being recorded.

Commenter 4. NTA, you have been more than kind in fostering a relationship with them. I am positive that they will not get custody, but I am curious about grandparents' rights. Is that a thing in your country slash state? If it is, I would fight to make sure all of the visits are near you. It would look bad for them to take her and try to keep her away from you, but they have already proven to be shady and underhanded. OOP, according to my lawyer since Jack is dead, they have grandparents' rights here in my country.

But only visitation and only on the same city the child lives, she thinks there's no way they'll have custody. So this could make them have less access to her than before. OOP clarifies details regarding the inheritance Clara has in her country after Jack's passing. Here her inheritance is already secured and received. She inherited 50% of her father's assets and will receive his share when her grandparents pass away. It's the law. Here if you die without being married or having a common law partner, you have to live at least six months with someone to be considered a legal partner, 50% go to any children you have and 50% goes to your parents. In case your parents aren't alive, 100% will go to your children. The other way around if you

are childless, 100% will go to your parents if they are alive. There's no need for an executor for her to receive the inheritance. But I did put her assets on an investment trust to avoid issues the future or accusations that I used all of her money. Update, February 11, 2025. Hey, I posted my story here some months ago and was surprised about how this blew up fast, not only on Reddit but also on other apps. I was not sure if I should post an update, since I was fearing being doxed, and also I received a ton of hate through messages and people reposting my story bullying me and wishing for me to lose my daughter's custody.

About the possibility of doxing, I talked to my lawyer and showed her my post, and she said that I could update if I keep the fake names and don't give up on personal details. Until now, nobody in my life has discovered my post, which makes sense since English isn't our country's first language. Having said that, I like to also preface that my grammar and writing skills on English aren't the best, since this is my second language, but I was truly appalled about how many people attacked me for it. Some people said that I must be an alcoholic to commit as many grammar mistakes and that I deserve to lose my daughter for being a drunk, which is not true, I don't drink. I know the internet can be toxic, but some people are whiling to go too far to bully others. This is very low. I just hope everyone that criticized my writing skills have better knowledge than I have while learning other language.

When you guys start to speak or write in a second language, I hope you don't meet someone like yourselves, who will bully you for not writing exactly in the proper way when it's not even your mother language. More than two months has passed, and a lot has happened since. My life was really chaotic for some weeks, and I felt that I couldn't celebrate Christmas the way I truly wanted because I was constantly worried about the custody lawsuit. I am relieved to say now that this is over. Also, to the ones worried about Clara, I thank you guys for being so gentle. TbH I think more people were nice and gentle than bullies, so I am truly thankful for your well wishes, from the bottom of my heart. Clara is healthy and happy. Luckily nobody tried anything to take her from me. I know a lot of you said they could try to try to kidnap her, I'm still worried about it, but nothing has happened. After I made my post,

I spent several days working with my lawyer, my family, and even with the home security company I hired to ensure that Clara was safe, all my security cameras were working, and that I had all the documentation needed for court. My lawyer and I prepared tons of documentation about me, Clara and even got the backlogs of visitation in my gated community that proves that Ted has never spent the night here. My family were very aware about my fears of kidnapping, and they made sure to always be around us. I have to thank you guys for the incredible advices I got. I don't want to put too much weight on talking about haters, because 90% of comments and messages were truly nice and caring. I tried my best to listen to my lawyer and many

things you guys said we could do to ensure our safety. Not only that, but I talked to Clara's pediatrician, pediatric dentist, swimming teacher, even my parents' church where Clara sometimes goes to the kids' classes. They are aware of the lawsuit and that nobody should give up information about Clara or me, under no circumstances. They are all on the same page and are giving us support and being understanding. Some people also advised me to speak to Clara's aunts to know if they are aware of the lawsuit and the possibility that their parents could try to take my daughter. I was not sure about how to do this. My lawyer said that I could try to communicate with them, but all via text or email. Before I could do this, Lily, Jack's young

sister that lives in Europe, texted me to ask if I had received Clara's Christmas gifts she sent through mail. I saw this as an opportunity and wrote a text explaining what was happening with her parents. Lily said she had no idea about the lawsuit or that they wanted to take Clara for Christmas and fly with her on a plane. She said that she would speak with Ruth and ask her about this, since Ruth at the time was very distant from their family group chat. A day later, Lily and Ruth created a group chat to talk to me. They asked to have a video call with me, I said I had to talk to my lawyer first. My lawyer agreed to me doing the call, if they let me record it to make sure nothing would be used against me. Both agreed, and we had a video call that was enlightening to me.

Ruth apologized to me for being absent from our lives over the last months. She was dealing with many personal issues, but had happy news to share. Ruth went through her third IVF round and as of now she is around 22 weeks pregnant with her first child. She kept everything quiet, just Ruth and her husband Sam knew about the IVF proceedings and the pregnancy. She said this was because Linda used to put too much pressure and stress over her the other times they tried IVF. Ruth was distancing herself from things that raised her anxiety levels, and her mom was a

main source of anxiety. Her pregnancy is a good news, but didn't surprise me, since I knew she was trying for a baby. I'm happy she finally was able to conceive. Here I have to explain that Linda is what people call boy mom. She never got along with her daughters. I had an inkling about that, but since I was not close to them, I had no idea about how bad her relationship with her daughters were. They just seemed distant and James was closer to their daughters.

Ruth swore that she didn't know about the lawsuit until Lily called her the day before. That after this, she talked to her dad and to his best friend, who's a lawyer, to understand what's going on. She was surprised that James' friend didn't know anything about the lawsuit, since he is usually the lawyer representing him. James, on the other way, tried to divert the subject when Ruth's asked, but she pressured him, and eventually he fooled and told her everything. James claims that he didn't want to sue me, but Linda's mental health has deteriorated to a point that he feared for her well-being. The only thing that could make her get out of bed is Clara and the thought of having her around. He ignored that this makes her.

Linda the one who's not fit to raise a child, not me. His plan was to pressure me with the lawsuit, in order to make me to accept a better deal of visitation for them. They wanted more days with her and to be able to travel with her to their home multiple times a year. James never said that they wanted to keep her forever, but I am not trusting on his words. My trust is shattered. Ruth and Sam tore James a new one for suing me over custody to manipulate me and for not forcing Linda to go to therapy. He claimed Linda doesn't accept the idea of going to see a therapist, as she is not crazy, and said that she would not go under no circumstance. Ruth had to threaten James that if he didn't withdraw the lawsuit and get the help Linda and in need, she will go no contact

and resign from the family business. She was very worried about the idea of them doing the same to Sam in case she dies, and their child is left with her husband. James kind of broke after this and cave to Ruth's demands. After my call with Ruth and Lily, I was under the knowledge that the lawsuit would be terminated. Unfortunately, in my country from the 20th of December until 20th of January, the courts are on break. They only deal with emergency cases. Mine wasn't. Their lawyer reached out to mine to talk about the end of the lawsuit and about writing a visitation agreement that the family court would approve. We agreed to work on this, but I would only sign any visitation agreement after they had withdrawn their lawsuit for custody and only if they agree to follow my rules.

For what I know, after being pressured by her whole family, Linda eventually accepted to start therapy and she is seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. She was diagnosed with depression and PTSD related to Jack's death. I know this because my lawyer demanded that her doctors had to put an evaluation of Linda's mental state in order on our legal agreement for me to accept a visitation deal with Clara's grandparents. I never said here, but Jack's death was sudden and violent. He was a victim of a robbery gone wrong. All of us were shocked about his passing, but Linda and James took the brunt of it. I always felt that they didn't mourn enough, since they switched their attention to my pregnancy few weeks after his passing and I was right

to think that. In our visitation agreement I also demanded that both James and Linda have to go through grief counseling, to which they agreed a number of sessions. Me, James and Linda are attending virtual family therapy for the first months of our agreement, to make sure we are on a healthy space to deal with our relationship and put Clara's well-being first. Regarding to this I have nothing to complain, they accepted my terms pretty easily. They did try to fight against the idea of supervised visitation, but I had no reason to accept otherwise. Now they will visit Clara twice a month on a family center in my city, this is something my country has, is a public building where things related to custody of minors and family problems regarding

custody are handled. They have very good security there. Those visits will be supervised by a social worker who was assigned our case by the judge that signed our visitation agreement. About my fears of kidnapping, I have to say I didn't felt validated by my country laws. Basically me and my lawyer went to a police station and we did an occurrence about the possible kidnapping. They didn't seem to take this serious and as of now they will not press charges. At least there's paperwork regarding my fears. James ended up sending my lawyer Clara's plane's tickets to proof they bought her two tickets and were not planning on staying with her. Since they have money, I don't think it would be hard for them to bought a ticket back knowing they will not use it.

So I am still not trusting or believing them. I don't have plans of letting them visit Clara without supervision. Even their aunts know that to see Clara they will have supervision too. Everyone is accepting this right now and the visits have starred over a couple of weeks ago. Let's see what happens in the future. I also don't intend on traveling to their state or city in the near future. I am truly scared about the chances of they using their power to take my daughter, so I will not make it easier for them. Thank you again for the help and well wishes.

As of now Clara and her mama bear are doing well and enjoying a couple of days I take have to spend quality time together and finally celebrate, since our Christmas was very stressful. I hope you enjoy this story. I have evidence that my partner intends to be unfaithful shortly after asking for my hand in marriage, from online posts. I, a woman aged 33, in a relationship with my partner who is also 33 years old, for three years, discovered this information. Settled for me. Really confused on how to proceed. My fiancé, Tom, and I have been together for three years and got engaged only one week ago. One of Tom's closest friends Adam has never liked me. This is probably because Adam is really flirtatious with every girl he meets, single or not, and sleeps around a lot. When Tom first introduced me to his friends,

Adam flirted pretty heavily with me, but I told him I was here with his friend and it was inappropriate. Tom found out later about this and seemed amused because Adam flirts with everyone because that's just Adam, but seemed to appreciate me telling him to back off. Ever since then Adam and I have had a bit of a strained but civil relationship. Adam isn't creepy and he did back off, but he still flirts heavily with his friends' sOS to the point of complimenting their breasts or butts and he gets away with it because he's charming, rich, always hosts parties and things and lends his friend's shiny new toys or lets them stay at various holiday houses or buys expensive booze, etc. I know all of this because he talks a lot

about all this when it's just me and the guys at Tom's place because I live there most days of the week. To note, my job requires some out-of-state travel every week and I still have my own apartment that I bought but rent out rooms. Now, a few days ago Tom was out of town and I rescued his dog from a fire that started on his neighbor's property. I also got his laptop and a few other heirlooms out, anyway, the fire was contained to the neighbor's property so I didn't do anything really, but there was a lot of smoke so I took his dog to the vet. Everything was fine. By the time Tom got a flight back home things were sorted. Two days later, before heading out to a New Year's Eve party at Adam's place, Tom proposed saying that he'd always known I was the one but this made him realize that he wanted

to start this year knowing next year we'd be married. I said yes and spent two days ecstatic. Until Adam called me out of the blues saying we needed to talk. He showed me text messages from three years ago talking about how Tom had settled for me because this really super beautiful girl that he'd slept with a few times had ended up starting a relationship with someone else and stopped seeing him. The messages talk about how she's the one and when he met me, I was no Megan but not bad but that I seemed keen in marriage material. They talked for months about how much hotter Megan is and even made fun of me for telling Adam off the first time because Adam wouldn't date his friends so as so they weirdly agreed it was a good sign I wouldn't cheat even though I seemed a bit

bitchy. Then Tom started going on about how I had an unusually high libido and got the congratulatory high five from Adam, but again, not flattering to me. Tom made a remark about how I must have been around the block and that he didn't usually like used goods, but sex was worth it. This was over the course of six months, two years ago. They kind of pet tear out into generic relationship stuff about how he can't come out because he's got plans with me, et cetera, and then Adam talks about how whipped he is, etc., and then I get to the following message. About a day ago Tom sent Adam a text about how Megan was single and seemed interested in him with Facebook screenshots of the conversation he had with her.

He was really excited about this. She initiated messaging him after he posted a sympathetic comment on her relationship status change from a week ago and she messaged him. When she asked him what was new, he did not mention he was engaged. She talks about the good times and confesses she should have chosen him. He admits he was also devastated and thought they were good together and still no mention of me. The caption on the screenshots he sent Adam was, what do you think? And she's into me.

Adam has responded with hell yeah. I think you have a chance, etc. and no mention of me at all. Tom's responded with I know right? Nothing further. I was pretty upset at this point so Adam left because I asked. I then logged into Tom's Facebook. I guessed his password was the same as his email, I was right, to check their conversation and they went on to make plans to catch up in a week when I'll be out of town and she may be

flying in to catch up with people and look at moving back after her breakup. He then poked fun at her current city and tells her she should move back and let him know if she needs anything. She tells him he's sweet but she has to go now. She's initiating all this but he's not shutting anything down or even telling her he's engaged. Up till this point, I've never even heard about Megan. They don't have more Facebook messages before that except for three years ago. Looks like she didn't contact him while she was seeing this other guy.

I've been staying at my place making up excuses and just replying to texts but I feel really numb. I called Adam and asked him why he told me all this when he didn't even like me and was going behind Tom's back. He told me it was the right thing to do by me and that Tom should be with Megan. he was clearly still into her and I could do better. Wasn't I grateful he didn't stay silent about this before I married him? He said I may as well hear it from him because I didn't like him anyway. I said, thanks for letting me know and that I had a lot to think about. I am so confused, I feel used, upset and like the last three years are a lie. I feel like breaking up with Tom but then I'm also still weirded out by Adam and his motives. I have no idea what to do. More info.

I'm not going to go for the sunken cost fallacy. I've been thinking a lot, and it's not going to work out. I'm first going to get my stuff out of Tom's place under the guise of New Year's cleaning. There are things there I want back. Also, Tom's Facebook and mine are rarely updated. But he comments a lot. He is more active on Twitter and WhatsApp. I barely use mine. It's mostly work people and family I don't like or high school people. My friends use WhatsApp or Snapchat. About Megan, I don't blame her. She did ask him what was new in his life. He replied not much.

People can't be stolen if they don't want to. If she's okay hooking up with an engaged guy, then they deserve each other. Maybe she likes the validation. In any case, I'll let her know about me anyway. And yeah, I'm not going to dump him before his date. I don't get Adam at all. Why is he so vested in getting Megan with Tom, and why is he willing to risk alienating Tom and potentially the friends group by coming to me?

I don't think he's into me. He has no trouble with women and so far hasn't actually slept with his friends s.os. Just flirted. I've also seen pictures of Megan, so why'd he come after me when he could tell her Tom is engaged and looking to cheat? Whatever, I need some distance from him too. Arg, I'm cycling through a lot of emotions right now. I'm kind of focusing on work at the moment. Update, I've had the weirdest few weeks ever.

I didn't go back to Tom's place after the revelation and just blamed work and plumbing issues and then left for my work trip. The only time I did see him was in group things and just a few car rides and stuff. Then before I left, I messaged Megan on Facebook and told her that Tom was engaged to me, he just proposed a few days ago, and the rest was up to Megan never responded and as far as I could see, never even saw the message. And Adam texted and called me asking when I was going to break up with Tom. Now, I was really suspicious of Adam so I just told him that I was still thinking about things and that I'd figure something out when I got back. Adam then called me telling me that these guys, his friend group, were users and leeches and Tom was no exception. He was just using me. I told him that I wasn't going

be collateral damage in whatever issue he had with his friends and besides, he was the one letting them leach off him for so many years anyway. I ignored him after that. I still don't know what's going on inside his head. Anyway, I had decided to let the date between Tom and Megan happen and come back from my trip early without telling Tom to break up with him, and this is where things got a bit crazy. You see, on the Friday that the date was scheduled to occur, I got a call from Megan who had arrived to my city, caught up with some mutual acquaintances, and found out that Tom was engaged. She then got my phone number from them and called me to tell me that my fiancé was cheating on me. I told her I already knew and told her to check her FB. She said it was sweet of me to warn her,

I told her she was really decent for letting me know and she then told me I deserved better. Apparently, her last relationship also ended due to cheating so she was really furious at her X, Tom, and men in general, and we ended up talking for ages. I even jokingly said that I could see why Tom was so into her because she was really pretty and kind and then she told me Tom was an idiot for ruining something with me and the only thing he had going was good taste in women. I was really expecting the worst from her, but she really surprised me with how decent she was. So then I told her not to cancel the date, I was coming back early anyway, and let's surprise him by walking in together. She really loved that idea. I had to do. I told her not to cancel the date. I

think mostly because she was mad at her ex. And here was Tom being scummy, so we agreed to meet me at the airport when I came in. Then I'm not sure what happened but a few hours before I was due to board my flight. I get a text from Tom telling me he missed me and asked if there was any way I could finish my trip early because he wanted to talk to me. I then got a call from Megan about 15 minutes later saying that Tom had canceled the date and she sent me the screenshot of him explaining that he was really attracted to her, but he was engaged and he was doing the wrong thing and they shouldn't see each other and apologized for making her come down. Megan didn't come down for Tom, she was just going to catch up on her original trip so

she was pissed off that he'd even think that she came down for him. The way it was phrased made it seem like he wouldn't be able to control himself if he was around Megan or something. I really didn't want to see Tom at this point so I told Megan she was out on a dinner thanks to me so I'd take her out as a thank you. Long story short because I don't vividly remember, I got home, went out to dinner with Megan and we both got blinding. I texted Tom to say I was home, then I invited her back to my place and, according to my housemate, watched some Netflix and Tom showed up with flowers. Megan, really drunk, and my housemate answered the door and there was Tom with flowers. Tom looked really shocked to see

Megan and asked what she was going on. Megan told Tom that she lived here now and that we, her and I, were talking about getting married. According to my housemate, we got home drunk and started talking about how much easier it would be if we got married because men are scum or something and then my housemate decided, hey, it's Friday night, and started drinking too. Anyway, she yelled to me that scummy Tom was here. I yelled back, I was throwing up at that point, that I didn't want to see him and they shut the door in his face. He was knocking on the door and calling slash texting me, none of which I noticed because I was pretty sick the rest of the night along with Megan and my housemate. Also at some point before passing out, Megan and I were showing the messages to my housemate and we start talking about

getting married to each, and we updated our statuses to show that Megan and I were engaged. I vaguely remember her doing it. This caused a lot of confusion which I woke up to the next day and just ignored everyone because of how hungover I was but eventually untagged Megan and told everyone it was a Facebook hack. Adam called me, sounding amused I was hungover or maybe still drunk, and asked what that was about and I just told him that Megan thought I was hot and up on him. Anyway, later I texted Tom and told him to not contact me for two days. Megan left and hung out with her friends and had a good trip. She's back home now, she's blocked Tom on everything but not before tagging in a pretty mean update. Tom was pretty miserable, we talked a few days

later, and I gave him back the ring. He said that he realized his mistake, that he never would have cheated on me because he couldn't go through with it, etc. I pointed out that at the start of the relationship he'd told Adam that I was nothing, talking about me like use property. He denied this, but I told him that Adam had shown me the texts. He then told me that Adam had a falling out with the group over some money that was owed to him and this was his way of getting revenge, and I said, even if that is true he never forced you to talk so degradingly about me or set up a date with an old flame. He said that he'd grown up since then and he thought the world of me and he had canceled the date so wasn't that a point in his favor. He also asked me to come home. He also asked me to come home. He

early because he wanted to tell me himself. In a moment of pettiness, I told him, I wasn't going to settle for a guy like him, that what he did was disgusting, especially since he knew I was away and I couldn't trust him, let alone want to marry him. He insisted that we could work through this. I kind of didn't. Honestly, I really can't tell if he's being sincere or just wants to save face or hold on to something safe. I asked for space and time to think about things because the way he was pushing was driving me away. It's been a few weeks now, he's been just texting and sending me gifts and stuff. I have been replying pretty generically and saying I wasn't ready. Megan, I actually talk and WhatsApp frequently, she's still on the dump him and run bandwagon

but admits he's persuasive and we have a way of really figuring out Tom's intentions because of what he did. Adam, I heard third slash fourth hand that he did have a massive blow up in the group about money, doesn't speak to any of them, and hates them all. He texted me a about three days ago asking if I wanted to catch up. I am so confused, and there's so much drama. I've mostly been burying myself in work and gym and stuff and not thinking about it. I get that people can change and maybe Tom is honest, I just don't know. I need some distance and objectivity but everything seems really confusing. Now on to the next story. Story 2. Caught my wife cheating with our baby's doctor, now his career is ruined and I have full

custody. My wife was recovering from having our first baby. Per the doctor's orders, we were waiting eight weeks before having sex. She was 24, and I was 26. I felt like we were too young to be parents, but at least we were married for four years before conceiving. This was the life I hoped for. I did everything right, according to my family, and it made me feel great. One person I met in my past told me that life isn't as simple and easy as I expected it to be, but I was goal-oriented and willing to follow any successful influencer's advice. I believed fate was on my side. Even with what I'm about to tell you, I still believe fate is on my side, because otherwise, I may never have discovered the truth. On one of the last days of waiting,

I got a notification at work that there was motion detected outside our house, and a box was delivered. I only worked 10 minutes away, and it was lunchtime, so I decided to pop by unexpectedly. Besides opening my package, I thought I might be able to seduce my wife for the first time and forever. I stopped for flowers. When I got to the house, there was a really nice car parked outside. I didn't recognize it. My original plan was to knock on the door and have her open it, but I decided to use my key. As soon as I walked in, I heard our bed squeaking upstairs.

I barged into our bedroom door, without realizing I broke it. I could not believe what met my eyes. My wife was sprawled out on our bed with our baby's pediatrician. She immediately sat up and grabbed her face, repeatedly saying no in disbelief. The doctor panicked and ran. I didn't care, I'd have him on camera fleeing our house with his loose pants, which meant I'd probably be able to prove he was sleeping with my wife, which would certainly get his license revoked. I noticed the baby sleeping in the bassinet six feet away from his mother,

as she cheated on his father. My wife immediately began saying how sorry she was. She said he seduced her because he knew she waited long enough to heal. I wanted to throw up, but I was too angry and didn't want to appear vulnerable. I told her she was a sleazy, pathetic mother. I asked her why she couldn't have just said no, why she couldn't have just waited for me to get home. I felt myself starting to break down because I was realizing my marriage was over. I didn't want to. to forgive her. I didn't want to have sex with her. I told her these things, and she wailed so loud she woke up the baby. My mind started working at a mile a second as I held and bounced our son. I told her that since she was breastfeeding, she could take him with her to her mom's house.

Her mother was a strict Catholic, and I wasn't even sure she would let her daughter and grandson move in. She was going to be furious at her daughter's behavior, and I'd make sure she knew the truth at some point. My wife was freaking out, telling me what I already knew, that she would have nowhere to go if we told people the truth. I forced her to move back in with her mother by telling her our house was being fumigated. My mill wasn't too fond of me, so she wouldn't even wonder where I was. After they moved out, a major twist happened. I got an anonymous typed note in the mailbox that said, leave me out of it, or you won't be around long enough for a second marriage. I was shocked, but immediately knew it was from the doctor.

What a piece of crap. I was very amused when I checked our doorbell camera and found him escaping with his pants down. I went to the police and filed restraining orders on him and my wife. Then, I made some phone calls. I had a big family, including one lawyer. He agreed to represent me. Before the court hearing, my mill was basically forcing my ex and son out of her house, so I had to tell her what my wife did, and how I had to tell her.

got a restraining order because my life was threatened. She was beside herself. She told me I needed to come get my son at least, so I did. My wife absolutely hated this, and I think that's why her mom did it. She was so upset with her, but couldn't kick her out. She had trouble looking at her the same way. As terrible as my mill was, she knew how necessary and important loyalty to a spouse was. Then you add the fact that my wife was a new mother, cheating with her son's doctor. Before I left with our son, I heard them screaming at each other, and when my mill told her she wasn't mature enough to be a mother or wife, it was intense, but I'm sure my wife deserved this hellish new reality, stuck in her strict mother's house without me or her son. After the divorce,

I was awarded primary custody of our son, and I was able to prove the doctor's unprofessional, home-wrecking actions. He was no longer allowed to practice, so he'll have to find something new to do with his life. I am so happy with the outcome from all this. I hate that it all happened, but this wasn't my fault, so I can only adjust and accept the change. She still calls me often, asking for help or complaining about things. She used to say sorry every time, but I told her to stop. I don't always answer her calls, but she does get visitation with our son. This event made me question a lot about life and relationships. I've realized how important it is to love and trust yourself. I knew I could get through this from the moment I was presented with the issue, I knew I had no choice but to go through

it, and all I had was my own strength and willingness to go on. I enjoy my life because it's all I have, and my son and I have a whole new routine. My sister watches him while I'm at work, and she loves it. I enjoy my own company and my sons, and when it comes to dating, I just take it slow and make sure everything feels right about it. That's all anyone can do. I hope anyone reading this realizes how great it is to experience life at all. I won't let this painful end to my marriage make me question how wonderful life is. I hope you enjoy this story. Unhinged recent resident believes she controls our whole complex and attempts to evict me from my own residents.

Our fresh arrival is under the impression she possesses the building, dated March 30th, 2022. So let me begin this with I'm on mobile so sorry for the formatting. Anyway, I, 31F live in a block of six units, apartments for non-Australians. A month ago the unit above mine went up for sale and sold fairly quickly and the new owner moved in less than a week ago. This morning, I got up and went to take rubbish out and found a note stuck to my door. I honestly thought it was A. I'm new to the building kind of note, you know? Oh, I could not have been more wrong. Dear tenant. I recently bought your building and wished to introduce myself. My name blah blah, not going to put her actual name, and I think you will find me a fair landlord. However, I do have rules.

One, everyone is to be in their units by 9 p.m. If you're going to be out past this, I suggest you find accommodation elsewhere. Two, no pets allowed. If you have any, they must be relocated before I do an inspection or I will call the ranger to remove them. This is the only warning. Three, I will conduct an inspection once a month and you will be present to answer any questions or face eviction. Four, failure to pay rent on time will result in your eviction. If we all follow these rules, I'm sure we will get along. Sincerely blah, blah. What? The F did I just read? Fun fact about my building, we all own our own units. Nobody actually owns the whole building. I won't lie I got to the number two and had a slight panic attack

because I have cats and there's no way I was giving them away before I remembered we bought our unit just before Christmas. We rented it from a friend prior and when she told me she was thinking about selling it we brought it, didn't even have to move, so in some ways it still feels like renting, we actually own our unit. Now I'm not great at confronting someone, I tend to shake a lot, but at that moment I was quite angry so I went upstairs and knocked on her door. You know the gut feeling you have? It was spot on. That door opened and there stood a Karen, her hair blonder than my own, her nails long and bright colored. She didn't look happy to see me there. I introduced myself and explained that I lived downstairs and that I wanted to talk to her about her

note. She started to talk over top of me, explaining that her letter was basic rules and even a child could understand it and if I didn't like her rules I could hand in a letter to vacate. Wow. I would ask if people are really this up themselves, but I work in retail and could answer my own question. I told her that I actually own my unit. She hadn't bought it or the rest of the building but only her own unit and that she couldn't enforce anything in her note. She didn't like that at all. She started yelling at me saying that yes, she had indeed bought the whole building and that failure to comply with her rules would mean I would be evicted. I was just starting to think maybe I was wrong when another neighbor opened his door. He came out and asked what the

issues was about and could she stop screaming as he worked nights and was trying to sleep. I told him I was trying to explain that she hadn't bought the building and she started yelling again. My neighbor told her to stop and then said the best thing I had heard that day. Are you stupid? Her jaw dropped as he explained to her how wrong she was and that he was in fact part of the Strait of Committee, kind of like a hoa that oversees the building, and that she had no right to make rules for everyone. She gave us dirty looks before slamming the door.

I thanked him and he said in the entire time he lived there he hadn't seen someone so entitled. Update 1, April 2nd, 2022. So I guess this is an update to my last post. I had a lot of people asked me to post if she did anything else. This is also currently happening and my so is witnessing it and texting me as I'm at work. So if you missed my last post I had a new neighbor move into my building and she left notes on everyone's doors saying she had brought the building and gave us insane rules to follow. She does not own the building but only a unit or apartment.

Jury is still out if she is insane or stupid. She has been quiet for the last few days and I thought maybe maybe. that's it? Apparently I was wrong. So each unit in our building is allocated one parking space. Just one. I park in mine and my so parks his car on the street on the other side of the building. Our parking lot had one visitor space. It's a very small parking lot, six spots for residents and one visitor. The visitor spot is nearly always empty and my neighbors have said my so could park his car there if he wanted as we are the only unit with two cars, but he doesn't mind parking where he is. This morning my so woke up to yelling. Our kitchen window overlooks the parking lot and he snuck a peek

out the window and saw entitled neighbor standing next to our nice neighbor's car and they were arguing loudly. She kept yelling, U.G, that she had a second car and needed to park in his spot and he had to move his car or else she would have a toad. He kept repeating that it was his parking spot and she could either park it in the visitor spot or on the street and if she towed his car he would report it stolen. So said she kept yelling she can park where she wants and he needed to move it or else so my so decided to park his car in my empty spot in case she tried to park there while I'm at work. Last message he sent me she has stormed upstairs in a huff and slammed her door. Update, I got home from work and she has parked her second car in the visitor spot but

she's parked it so badly it's blocking the driveway in. Right now I'm parked on the street, but too tired to deal with her. Update two, sorry I did an update sooner. So like I said before her car was basically blocking the driveway and I had to park on the street. Anyway, when I got up for work the next day it was still there, but when I came home it had gone. I asked my so as he was at home and apparently a tow truck came and took it away. I'm still not sure which neighbor called the tow truck, but I have a suspicion it's the one she was arguing with. So said she has been quiet all day only the odd footsteps. Update 2, April 5, 2022. While I'm back. As many of you predicted, her entitlement grew. In case anyone missed the update on

my last post, her car was towed, but I don't know which neighbor did it, I'd count a link post sorry. This made her more angry but seeing as I was at work she hasn't blamed me or my sew. It's been raining all week and as I don't have a dryer I haven't been able to do any big items like sheets or towels, only clothes as I can hang them up inside. On Saturday it was finally sunny and I raced home from work, dragged my sew out of bed so I could wash all the blankets and dry them in case it rained again. I managed to get through five, yes five loads of sheets, blankets and towels and I hung them all out of the line outside. We all share it. There are technically two different lines for us to use and we have never had an issue before. I hung out my last load and

went inside to chill. I went back out about an hour later to get the first load off and found every single item I had hung out on the ground. Nothing had replaced it, all dot of it had been torn down and my pegs and peg basket gone. Most of what I'd hung out was still wet and now covered in dirt. I got my sew and he helped me bring everything inside before I went upstairs and knocked on her door. When she answered I asked if she had taken my washing off the line and she smugly informed me that she had not given my permission to use her line and that next time I should be polite and ask and she might let me. Look I'm going to level with you guys. I work in retail and deal with nightmare customers.

I know how to be calm around these kind of people and I tried to be polite about this whole thing with the letter and the car, but my bed is my safe space and I wanted it clean and she fucked with that just to be petty. I calmly told her that everyone can use the line, it's part of the building and nobody has to ask her permission. She tried to talk over me, but I just held my hand up and told her I was part of the straight up committee, I know all the rules and who owns what and she needs to pull her head out of her ass. Grow up and stop her behavior because it's not doing her any favors. I told her to have a nice day before she slammed her door. Update 3, April 10th, 2022.

I was really hoping my neighbor would settle down, but here we are though this story has a satisfying ending, I think. This just happened last night and I'm still a bit tired, so I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes. Our neighbor had been quiet for a while and my so and I thought maybe she had finally realized she couldn't control the whole building. One of her cars was parked in her spot and the other was parked on the street behind my so's car. nobody's washing had been ripped off the line, no new notes were stuck to doors. Until yesterday. As we are the bottom unit, apartment, we have a side door that opens out onto the shared yard. I think the only time I use that door is to err the place out or as a shortcut to hang washing out. Sorry, anyway yesterday we were going about our day when we saw entitled neighbor

and a few other people setting up tables and chairs in the yard. No big deal it's shared space. A few minutes later there's a knock on the side door and it's her. So opened the door, it's a glass sliding door so she could see us we couldn't pretend we weren't there, and did the usual greetings. She told us she was having a party and we needed to move our wooden planters off our patio because she needed the space for her barbecue. Um, no. Firstly, the patio is our space not shared space and secondly they sit right next to the glass door so I don't want some random looking into my living room all night while they are coming. cooking. So reminded her she doesn't own the building and we wouldn't be moving shit when one of her friends asked WTF was she doing. They had already set up the barbecue in the yard. She huffed and walked

off without saying anything us and we thought that was it. It was not. A few hours go by and we ended closing the curtains for privacy. Whoever designed this building didn't really keep privacy in mind for a detail but anyway. We can hear talking, laughing and cooking. the usual sounds of a backyard party when there's another knock on the door. I was cooking dinner so my so answered it again. This time it was one of her friends saying she had to use the bathroom and entitled neighbor told her to just knock on our door instead of walking upstairs. So politely told her sorry but she couldn't use ours and she apologized for knocking and intruding.

Not even two minutes later there's banging on the door and by now my so is pissed. He opened the door and entitled neighbor started to lay into it. him about how dare he expect her guests to go all the way upstairs and that he needed to apologize to her and keep the door open for her guests. Now my so is usually a calm guy, very easy to talk to and rational, but in that moment he lost his shit. He told her to fuck off and stop bothering us, to get her head out of her ass and she can't lay claim to everything she sees. Our bathroom wasn't hers to use, her guests could use her bathroom and if she knocked on our door again he would call the police for harassment.

At this point one of her friends came over and told entitled neighbor she needed to leave us alone and stop bugging us before apologizing and telling us to have a good night. We expected the party to be loud and go on all night, but it actually wrapped up pretty early, about 1 a.m., I think. This morning when I got up everything had been cleaned up from the yard, but our planters had been knocked over. Jokes on her because we hadn't planted anything in them yet and most of the soil and there

was used cat litter, I use potting mix as cat litter because it's cheaper, so now she can smell my cat's old turds. Update 4, May 1st, 2022. While I'm back. I thought maybe my neighbor had settled down and I was done with her behavior. I do hear her fighting with the upstairs neighbor now and then, but that's about it. This happened this afternoon and I'm still trying to figure out how her brain works. So in my previous posts I explained how my new neighbor thinks she owns the building, our apartment is in, news flash she doesn't, and implemented some crazy-ass rules, none of which were legal, it took a few arguments, but I thought she finally understood she didn't own everything. Boy, was I wrong. So as I am on the ground floor I have a glass sliding door that opens out

into the shared yard, not happy about this, but we mainly treat it like a window anyway. Being that it was a nice cool day I had the door open, but the screen door shut and locked so I could air the house out after having rained and the house smelling musty. Whenever that door is open my cats will sit at it and watch all the birds outside. I was pretty tired and my so suggested we both lay down and have a nap while I wait for the washing machine to finish thought sure why not it's quiet today and we went and laid down. We were woken up about an hour later to a rattling noise in the lounge room and I thought maybe one of the cats had tried to climb the screen door again so I got up to scold them and found

my entitled neighbor trying to open my screen door, like really pulling on it to the point the whole door was shaking. I asked her what was she doing and she told me she had seen my cats through the door while on her way to hang clothes out and wanted to pet them but the door was stuck. I told her it wasn't stuck. It was locked because this is a private residence and she can't just walk in here whenever she pleased. She kept trying to open the door while yelling that I can't keep my cats from people if they want to pet them and it's her right to show them real love. I repeated that this was my home and she couldn't walk in whenever she wanted. This really seemed to piss her off and she started to yell at me that I was a little bitch

and I was abusing my animals and how dare I speak to her like that. At this point I was pretty sick of being yelled at in my own home so I just mustered up the sweetest smile I could before politely telling her to fuck off. If looks could kill my cats would be eating my body right now. She tried to open the door again when my so came out and said he would call the police if she didn't stop. She finally let go of the door, glared at us and stormed off. Needless to say we are ordering another camera for that door now and yes my cats are microchipped. ETA.

Thought I might add this as it's been in a few comments. My phone was charging in my bedroom and I didn't take it out with me when I got up, where I live the police aren't very helpful unless it's actually happening but I didn't want to turn my back on crazy. My soul only got out of bed when he heard shouting because he thought I was talking to the cats. Update 5, June 2022. So if you're new to the story here's a brief recap, or you can check my history, my entitled neighbor brought the unit above us and thought she bought the whole building, she hadn't, and tried to implement some insane rules.

She also tried to park in other people's assigned parking and threatened to have our cars toad told me I was abusing my cats because I wouldn't let her pet them screamed at me because I wouldn't let her friends use my bathroom. Anyway, it's been quiet for a few weeks, I normally hear her arguing with another neighbor all the time but lately nothing. Last week I brought a new car, yay, and it's slightly bigger than my old car, so I'm not confident enough to park it in my spot so I've been parking on the street. The other day I got home from work and I saw a young man standing on her balcony.

He was quite friendly, called out hello to me and introduced himself as her nephew and explained why he was there. She broke her foot. Apparently at the last family dinner she tripped over a dog and broke her foot and is now staying with family because she can't get up and down the stairs. He said he was house sitting because she said she didn't trust her neighbors, but he admitted we are all really nice and quiet and maybe she is just crazy. It took all my strength to not sing and dance right there. Update 6, June 15, 2022. Well, she's back. was hoping she just wouldn't come back after she broke her foot, but last week we heard a door slam

from upstairs, we looked outside and yep her car is there, no idea if her nephew who is house sitting is there or not still. Anyway, a few days ago I tested positive for the much-whispered pathogen and have been doing the right thing and staying inside and dying quietly, am fully vaccinated so it's not that bad though I could live without the headaches. My partner was away all day Saturday because he was picking up his new car and he got home late Saturday afternoon, parking his new car on the back lawn so he could give it a quick hose down from the drive. I was inside watching through the sliding door when I heard her balcony door open and she started yelling at him to get off her lawn. He told her to shove it, it's not her lawn and he is done

when he is done and can she please stop yelling because I have COVID and it doesn't help the migraines. Well, that was a mistake. I heard her storming down the stairs and she starts banging on our door screaming that I'm diseased and I need to isolate somewhere else before she gets sick and if I don't leave she was going to call the police. I told her, through the main door, that she has been told repeatedly she can't kick us out of our own place that we own. I am staying inside and that she could call the police if she wanted but she would more than likely be fined herself for wasting their time. According to MISO who was coming in after moving his car, she looked downright murderous, but once she saw him she took off up the stairs.

haven't heard anything from her since or anything from the police so we think it was an empty threat. I was so tempted to open the door because, like they say, sharing is caring. ETA, just wanted to add because I've had a few comments on it. We can't get her evicted from her own home as she owns it just like we own ours. Also lawyers in Australia are very expensive just to talk to, like when we brought our unit THR lawyers handling the sale charged us for everything. They stuffed up the paperwork by misspelling my name and then charged us more to reissue the papers with the correct name. As far as I know my upstairs neighbor spoke to his lawyer about her, but they can't do much anyway.

Update 7, October 6, 2022. I'm back. Did you miss me? I won't lie I was hoping I would never have to post again and she would become a normal neighbor. I was wrong. So she was so quiet for so long in her course. car was barely there I was starting to think maybe she had moved out, but I got a nice reminder last week that she is still around. To start this story, I must give a brief background.

There are eight units total in this building. I am on the ground floor and the very nice old lady across the hallway and I have an unspoken rule that if one of us is home and the other isn't we sign for and accept packages so they just aren't left in the hallway. I had been expecting a package and I had a feeling it was going to show up while I was at work, but I wasn't worried because of my nice old neighbor. She would drop it off when I got home, no drama right? Wrong. My nice old neighbor had actually gone away for a few days so with nobody around my package was left next to my front door. But it wasn't there when I got home. Oh yes. Yes, dear reader. She had it. About 10 minutes after I got home I heard the familiar stomping on the stairs and the

banging on my door. Long story short, my package had been delivered and she wanted to do the nice thing and hold onto it until I came home, but apparently it had accidentally ripped and she saw what was inside. I won't lie, it was sex toys, I like to treat myself sue me. The moment I opened the door she threw my package at me, yelling how I was a disgusting pervert and I should move out before it spreads. I told her that opening someone else's mail is a crime, it's not a crime to buy those kind of things, but, thanks for taking care of my package. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse betrays me, abandons me during my grieving for my parents' passing, now seeks reconciliation upon learning about my $7 million inheritance. I, a 27-year-old woman, am currently

in a dilemma. A fight with my soon-to-be ex-husband Jeff, who had an extramarital affair a couple of months ago. Jeff and I had been married for two years and we'd been together for almost three years before that. He and I had planned on beginning to try for a baby just eight months into our marriage because we'd already been living together for four years at that point and we really wanted to start a family together, so it just felt right. Unfortunately, even after months and months of trying, I was still struggling with conceiving so we had to get tested. Turns out that both my husband and I have fertility issues so we had to give up on the idea for the time being. It hit me hard when the test results came back and I kind of shut down emotionally because I'd really,

really wanted a baby of my own. Jeff, instead of being supportive during that time, distanced himself from me and we barely even spoke for a couple of months. I was already at my lowest by then and Jeff going further away from me just made it worse, so I thought about reaching out to him and making our marriage work. But before I could do that, he confessed to me that he'd been having an affair with an old friend and it had been going on for weeks. He'd sought out her help a couple of days

after we got back the test results since he used to be good friends back in high school and she was in town for a conference. They had lunched together and then that turned into an opportunity for him to cheat on me with her. He told me that he'd wanted to tell me the truth, but I'd just seemed so distant and sad

that he was afraid of how I'd react so he just didn't say anything, which was a pretty ridiculous reason. I remember wanting to say a lot of things after he told me, mostly wanting to scream at him, but I couldn't bring myself to do any of it, so I just broke down on the couch and began to sob like a baby. He didn't even console me or anything, not even a pat on my arm to tell me it's going to be all right. He just sat there like a damn statue and said nothing

while I cried for almost an hour. After I finally eased up a little, he told me that he was going to spend the night at his parents' place because he needed a break from everything that was going on. I begged him to stay in spite of what he'd done, but he didn't wait around. He'd already had his bags packed before discussing this with me and then he just left. As soon as he left, I started crying again and remained in the same spot until midnight. It was pretty much the worst day of my life so far. I was so depressed that I wasn't responding to any calls or texts from anyone, not work, and not even people I knew personally.

So a couple of friends and relatives had come to check up on me, but they'd leave when they realized that I wasn't going to open the door for them and let them in. I'd let them know I was still there by yelling out that they needed to leave and that I wasn't going to open the door. So they'd know I was okay and then leave. I'm grateful for the people who checked up on me, honestly, because I don't think I'd be here right now if it wasn't for them. All I did was have the minimum amount of food needed to keep going, watch TV, and then sleep. I was basically a zombie for almost two weeks. Then one day, one of my cousins came by and I told him to leave my living room, but he didn't go.

Instead, he told me that he had important news to share and he needed to do it in person. I didn't take it seriously and argued with him, so he finally snapped and told me that he was here to inform me that my father had passed away that morning from a heart attack and since I never checked my phone, people didn't have any way of letting me know about it. I was already pretty heartbroken from whatever had happened with Jeff and then the news of my dad's demise just broke me even more. After my cousin who visited me to tell me the news left, I think I started crying so loudly that the neighbors had to come to my door to make sure I was okay. That evening I booked myself a flight back home for the funeral and it was really difficult because I barely knew what I was doing all throughout. I had to be helped by people I barely even knew because I was so lost but somehow I got back home safely and and made it through the funeral. I was blank and didn't cry at the funeral much,

but I'd planned on staying for two weeks at home with my mother so she'd have someone to count on. She was devastated at the funeral and didn't leave my side even for a second, but we barely got to speak because of the sheer number of guests and relatives showing up. My dad was a well-known man, he was an attorney and was one of the best in his town. He was also a really good man and people loved him. Some people had even traveled overseas to pay their last respect so you guys can imagine what sort of love and respect people had for him. My mother and I were overwhelmed and for the two days after the funeral, we just made small talk and I'm grateful for even that much because just three days after the funeral, I lost my mother as well.

The medical report said that my mother had passed away due to natural causes and since she'd passed in her sleep, it had been peaceful for her, but I knew that she'd passed away from a broken heart. Call me crazy, but that's what I really believed. Within days of my father's funeral, we had to organize another funeral for my mother and this was smaller, but it hit me even harder than my dad's death because this had happened while I was fast asleep in the next room. I think I pretty much shut my brain off after my mom's passing and was a robot. I flew back home after the funeral and finished off some legal paperwork with the executor of their will, my dad's secretary. There was nothing for me to stay back anymore, so I came to. back to my own home and resumed my old routine of eating, watching television, and then going to sleep. My life spiraled out of control after that day because I was so depressed that I could barely

bring myself to eat or sleep. I lost my job after one week because I hadn't shown up at work for a while and neither had I told anyone anything about my absence, so they had reason to fire me without notice. Besides, it's been ages since I responded to anyone from work so I should have seen it coming, but it was still a huge blow. This time hardly anyone came by to check on me because everyone thought that I was staying back at my childhood home and it was a relief because I didn't want to see anyone and vice versa. So that was the last four months of my life after my parents passing.

I haven't had a job for almost five or six months and haven't done anything outside of the house for just as long, if not longer. I don't talk to anyone and it was only recently that I realized that I've been a total mess. I've neglected everything apart from paying the rent and bills on time and doing the absolute bare minimum. I was in this state for almost one and a half months until one day, I decided that I wanted to comb my hair because my head was really heavy and I wanted to do something about it because it was

uncomfortable. I finally looked at myself in the mirror that day and realized that my hair was a rat's nest. My clothes were grimy and dirty and my face was all sunken and hollow like I was straight out of some horror movie. I was disgusted by my appearance. but I still tried to brush my hair and the plastic hairbrush snapped into two because of how tangled my hair had become. It was a small, insignificant thing, but that was a wake-up call for me. I didn't know how that happened, but something just switched in me

and I ended up falling to pieces in front of the mirror once more that day this time. I was not crying just for the sake of it, but I just wanted to get it all out of my system before I went out to get my life back on track. That day, I got my hair done and a full-body spa and massage. from one of the best salons I could find near me. I still had a ton of money that I'd set aside because I'd been saving when I'd been trying to get pregnant with Jeff. I had a well-paying job in the past so money had never been an issue for me

and I hardly had any massive bills anymore since Jeff left and it was just me. I barely ate or did anything so I was doing just fine financially. After getting my hair done and stuff, I went out on a shopping spree bought myself a couple of new dresses and came back home. I realized the state of my home because I hadn't cleaned in ages so I had to hire a cleaning service to do the job as well. I wasn't embarrassed of it in the slightest since I knew what I'd been through and I think anyone who'd found out that they were basically infertile, had their husband cheat on them, lost both their parents and also their job in the span of just a couple of weeks than they probably would have been gone by now.

Once my house was clean and I was finally looking like a human being again, I started looking for therapists who could help me because I'd realize that I was probably clinically depressed and the shopping spree and stuff had helped a little, but it was just temporary. If I wanted to get out of this mess, then I'd need professional help and I wasn't ready to go back to the condition I was in for so long. Along with therapists, I also started looking for jobs and made sure that I explained my circumstances to my ex-employers as well in case I needed recommendation letters. or stuff. To my surprise, my ex-boss ended up inviting me back to work if I was up for it because she said that her son was an advocate for mental health awareness and he'd be disappointed if she didn't at least give me an opportunity to get my life back on track. She also offered to put me in touch with her son who worked with a lot of great mental health professionals who could help me out and make my search for a good therapist easier. I agreed to all of it and I'm truly

and sincerely thankful that she turned out to be such a wonderful woman because I got my job. back and also started seeing a therapist as soon as I settled on one. I've been attending therapy sessions every week for almost a month now and I feel like I'm finally getting better. The only thing I hadn't done so far was that I hadn't filed for divorce from Jeff because I didn't think I wanted to leave this marriage just yet and I really had faith that he'd come back. Also, I'd forgotten that I had to do that because I was depressed about my life. So I didn't think about divorce and just waited around like an idiot. Then finally, about four days back, I received a call from him usually, I don't answer calls from

anyone, but since it was Jeff, I got really excited and answered the call. I'd barely spoken to anyone or even heard my voice, but I was happy to hear from him because I was delusional enough to believe that he was calling me to get back together. It had been almost four months since he left the house and we last spoke and in the meantime, a lot had happened. I was finally doing better now, so I hope that his coming back to me would be the beginning of a fresh start for the both of us. He even hinted at it by inviting me for dinner at a restaurant we loved going to when we were together and I agreed to see him there. I got all dressed up and went out to see him that evening

and even hugged him and stuff when I saw him. He looked happy to see me too, but he didn't ask me any questions and jumped straight to his own life and how fabulous it had been for the last couple of months. He told me that he'd been traveling ever since he left me and that he'd seen a number of places so far, all beautiful, and had also met numerous people. He mentioned that his old friend, who he'd had the affair with, had convinced him to go away for some soul searching and he brought it up really casually as well, but he was speaking about it in the past tense, so I thought that maybe that was done with. I even asked him if they were together and he laughed and said no because apparently she was too busy to commit to a relationship and he didn't want one just yet.

I was relieved but like an idiot, I didn't even bother to think that just because they weren't together, it didn't mean that they didn't still have a thing together because the reasons he'd given me were that they were too busy and non-committal to be together, not that they didn't like each other. I was so happy to see him that I missed a lot of the things he was saying and convinced myself that he was back for me and we'd live happily ever after now. I was shocked by the end of the evening when he didn't ask anything about me and neither did he apologize for anything but I still stayed, hoping that something would happen. We made a lot of small talk and after we'd ordered dessert, I finally decided to steer the conversation towards our

relationship myself and ask him how he dealt with our separation. He told me that it had probably been easier for him than it had been for me and then touched my hand and told me that he knew I'd lost both parents within days of each other since a couple of my friends had come to know about it from my mother's Facebook feed and then told him about it. I was shocked because I thought he hadn't known and that's why he hadn't brought it up so far, that's why he hadn't bothered to call me or even visit me, but when I realized that he'd known all along. All the warning bell started going off in my head at full volume because he'd known and he still hadn't cared enough to come see me and make sure I was okay.

Forget about visiting me, he hadn't even tried to contact me to make sure I was fine. So that was the first shock for me and then he went on talking and told me that he was really sad to learn about the demise of my parents because he really liked them, but he was too busy traveling to contact me and figured that he'd do it once he was back. I smiled and said nothing because I was trying to process it in my head. And then he told me that he'd also wanted to talk to me about something that he'd been thinking about for a long time now, which was also the reason he'd asked me out on dinner that day. I thought that this was finally where he would ask me to get back together, but instead, he asked me if I'd given any thought to what I'd want to keep during the

divorce. When I looked confused and asked him what the hell he was talking about, he explained that since it had been a long time since we'd broken up, he thought that it was finally time to file for divorce officially so we could move on with our lives. That's when I finally realized that this wasn't a dinner date where we would end up getting back together, but one where we would officially end our marriage. It was more of a goodbye dinner than anything else and I, like an absolute absolute idiot, had completely misread the situation. I was already embarrassed, but I was also pretty pissed off because he'd been a total jerk to me and hadn't even bothered to check on me, whether I was even alive or not. For almost four months, but now he had the audacity to invite

me for dinner like we were buddies and then go on and on about how brilliantly life had treated him in these past couple of months. And then he asked me that after he'd heard about my parents' passing, he'd been intending to ask me about the inheritance that I'd be left with. He said he wanted to wait a respectable period of time before asking me how much we were going to inherit from my parents. At that point, I was so incredibly furious that I literally just ended up laughing in his face and told him that we weren't going to inherit anything. But I was going to inherit close to $7 million and all he was going to get was a divorce. I'd already been in talks with my parents' attorney and I told him to sell all the property that

been left to me because I had no intention of moving back home. The estimated amount of everything that would be sold plus the amount that my parents had left me came up to almost $7 million. My dad was rich and my mother never worked but she had a huge inheritance from her parents, so that's not a surprise but the probate process had to be completed before I got any of it. They'd already left me close to $2 million that I'd get as soon as the probate process was done and then I'd have to wait for a couple of weeks before their assets were sold off. They already had a bunch of buyers, so I wouldn't have to wait for long. And since Jeff had been going on and on about how fabulous his life had been ever since he'd left me,

I thought that I'd give him a taste of his own medicine and tell him about how wonderful my life was going to be now that I was done with him. We live in a state where inheritance is not considered a joint asset and so, he cannot claim it and since he'd already admitted to infidelity, he couldn't claim alimony either. I rubbed all of this in his face and told him about how his leaving me was probably the best thing that had ever happened to me since I would hate to have to stay with him even after my life was finally coming back on track. I told him that he deserved every single bit of misery that he was feeling because now I was rich and he wasn't and it showed on his face. Then I stormed out of the restaurant and drove back home. He hasn't tried to contact me but my in-laws have and they told me that what I did was disgusting because first,

I wasn't able to give him a child which drove him to cheat on me and now, I'm not even willing to do the bare minimum and share some of my wealth with the man who had supported me all along. I hung up on them without any argument because I didn't think I needed to dignify any of it, but his friends and family have been hounding me ever since our dinner date about what I did and I'm seriously beginning to question if it was the right move to rub it in his face. Maybe I should have just left without bragging about it. I'd offer bragging about my inheritance after my husband cheated on me and left me at my lowest point. Update 1, hey, I filed for divorce from my husband. It's been three weeks since the incident and his family and friends have taken the harassment to a crazy level. They're literally going off on me on social media and have practically started a hate campaign against me for putting Jeff through mental distress on purpose just so I could get revenge on him because he had cheated on me. and then blamed me for his cheating as well by saying that I'd withdrawn from him emotionally

so he had no option but to seek affection somewhere else and it just so happened that a friend of his happened to be back in town. So he's absolved of all the blame and I'm the villain here even though he was also facing fertility issues but I never went out of my way to find someone else and talk to them out of desperation. But whatever, I filed for divorce and I'm going to make sure that I don't let him off the hook easily. I'll also sue his parents and friends and friends after warning them that they need to stop, because word of this has reached a couple of my co-workers too and I can't compromise my reputation over this bull crap. Update 2, Jeff's actually contesting the divorce.

Why? Because he's suddenly had a change of heart and now he thinks we're meant to be together. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the inheritance and he's doing this all purely out of his own love and affection for me. That's probably also why he made his folk stop harassing me online, so he could get back with me since he loved me and not because I'd threatened to sue them all for defaming me. I'm being sarcastic, obviously. I talked to him a couple of hours ago on the phone when I found out that he was contesting the divorce and he told me that he changed his mind and that he wanted to make our marriage work. I got into a very nasty fight with him because I was just feeling so frustrated and hateful

and all he said to me was he knew I was mad because I still loved him and if I didn't still love him, then I probably wouldn't even have called him. He reassured me that this was just a stupid game that I was playing to get back at him for the cheating and that we'd be just fine and then disconnected the call. I'm in disbelief right now and I cannot believe this is happening to me. I've never, ever felt such a strong urge to slap someone senseless, but I guess there's a first time for everything.

He just is a huge jerk and I can't believe I even considered getting back together with him. Freaking Gold Digger Ugh, I could just scream right now, but that wouldn't help. Please if someone has any advice on a way to mess him up, but legally, do go ahead and let me know because I have nothing to lose at this point. Update 3, hello, folks. It's been a while, but we're in the middle of the mediation process now. If this doesn't work out to bring him and me on the same page, then we might have to go to court, but I have a feeling that's going to happen and it'll be better for us since I can't see us coming to an agreement about any of this.

He feels that we should stick together and I don't. I don't even understand what the point of having a negotiation meeting is when this is pretty much non-negotiable for me. I do not want to be with him. It's as simple as that. I'm entertaining it because he wants to give it a try even though it's exhausting, but then I know this will go to court and I'm hoping that'll make everything better, for me at least. I don't know about him and neither do I care, very honestly. Update 4. hey, guys. Almost two months since the last update and well, the case ended up going to court

just as I'd predicted and I'm going to get a divorce all right. It doesn't matter what he wants anymore and boy, was he upset about it? The probate is done too and I'll recover all the money I spend on my lawyer and even more soon enough. Life's good so I don't think I'll be coming back here anytime soon. It's been a good ride but I'm fine now. Thank you for all the love and support. I couldn't have done it without you guys and I mean it. I hope you enjoy this story. Spouse declined to allow my adolescent girl return to our residence as she is not genuine kin. Following our disagreement, she confessed to feeling envious of my daughter. Anna is aged 16. She was an accident when I was 24. Anna's mother and I were never together as a couple

because it was a one-night stand but we have maintained a friendly and healthy co-parenting since she was born and we became good friends. My daughters has been living on another continent for a few years with her mother and stepfather. But she wants to come back because she doesn't feel comfortable there and misses her family and friends, Anna doesn't knows their language well and it's still hard for her to learn it fully so she feels really lonely there since it is different to speak your native language than to make friends by speaking a foreign language from zero. I spoke with my daughter's mother and we thought it was a good idea to let Anna live with me, her room is now my home office but I can easily put together a room for her again. We didn't confirm anything,

I talked to my wife about it first and I was sure that she was going to be okay with that because we literally talked about that possibility before. The problem is that my wife doesn't want that to happen. My wife and Anna have never been close because they only meet in person for our wedding when I was able to pay a ticket for my daughter to come. That was the last time I saw my daughter in person too, plain tickets are too expensive, but they do tend to. They do tend to to talk a little bit when I make video calls with Anna every day but not too much. Anna also talks to her brother and he likes her a lot even if they just see each other in video call. My wife says Anna is not going to feel comfortable in a house with strangers and I told her

that we are literally her family and she said no, she and our toddler are not Anna's family because they barely knows her in person. It honestly hurts me that she thinks that way but I understand her point of view. Although our toddler is Anna's brother and it really annoyed me that she said that because our little one really loves his sister even if they just see each other online. I had an argument with my wife about it and I ended up telling her that my daughter will always come first of all, because it's true, for me my children will always come before any other person and she knew very well about my daughter when we married. My wife got angry and said that bringing Anna home would change how we handle ourselves and that she doesn't want to be a stepmother.

She said that Anna lived with her mother in another continent so it's not the same as having her right here every day. I told her that no one is asking her to be a stepmother because I will be the one who take care of her as always. My daughter used to stay many days and even months with me and I was the one who took care of her, I'm not going to give my wife all the work because I was a single father for a long time and I know how to take care of my daughter. I work, I clean, I cook. I take full care of our son when she works and wants to go out and do something just like she does with me. We both support each other and raise. our son, I don't know why many people is so shocked about the fact that I take responsibility

dot of my own child. But that if she doesn't respect my daughter's presence in the house and hates it that much then she is all the freedom to go to a hotel room. I was a big idiot because those words obviously ended up really bad and we had a worse argument. My daughter has every right to live in my house if she wants but my wife doesn't want that. I really love my wife but My biggest focus is to give the best to my children and I would love to have my princess here after years. My wife hasn't been talking to me at all and she's very angry, but she does continue with the same stance that she doesn't want Anna here at all and I know I will get angry and we will end up arguing again because I'm not going to leave my daughter alone at it.

My wife always knew that Anna lived with me several days a week when she was still in the country because I talked with her about that and the possibility of Anna's family returning to the country if things went wrong. That would have meant that Anna would come back to live with me for many days or even months like she always did. My daughter used to come at my house every day too. My wife agreed with that years ago when we talked about that, but now admits that she thought my daughter was going to stay out of the country with her mother because their business is going really well. FroR.A. because my daughter uses Reddit 2.

I changed some data to not make it too obvious. Edit 2, guys, I've been reading the book. the comments non-stop for two hours and I have too much to think about. Thank you very much for the advice, whether bad or good this is helping me to reflect on several things that I did not take into account. But please don't be so harsh because I'm a real person ha-ha-relevant comments where OP has replied the discussion with his wife. We had it because she knows that my daughter used to stay in my home before she left the country. My wife says that in her mind my daughter was always going to live with her mother. To another commenter, she didn't say that when we got

married, she said it now. When I told her about that possibility years ago, she just said she was okay with it. Now she admits that she thought Anna would stay there. Commenter, if she doesn't change her mind, do you see your marriage lasting? Oh, okay, to he honest. No, not at all. Even if I love my wife, my daughter no longer feels welcome in her school or comfortable. I don't want her to feel that way here too commenter. What are you going to do about the child that you guys share? Oh, okay, my son would never be homeless. Being okay with my wife would be the ideal plan.

But if she continues to reject my daughter's presence and we break up, I'm going to make sure I pay her and our son a good place to stay and go for 50 to 50 custody like I had with Anna or make some kind of cohabitation agreement. I'm going to do the same thing with my son that I did with my daughter, which was go see her every day and take care of her, I wouldn't fight with my wife or stress our son out with grown-up stuff. Commenter, not picking sides here. But if your wife leaves so does your son.

Everyone is screaming, put your child first. You may have your daughter full time and your son 50 to 50. Doubt they would take a toddler away from a woman you say is a wonderful. mother. I think the rock and the hard place is a lot harder than you think. Oh, O-op, yes, I've been thinking about that too. Co-parenting with Anna's mother has always been really easy because we've always been good friends and there was never a fight. But I don't want to think that if I divorce my wife or we break up because of this, I'll have a harder time seeing my son or how the co-parenting would be with her. Update 1, May 15th, 2024. I'm sorry but I don't

decided to delete the post because a weirdo started to just spam my private messages with different accounts and I don't know if I can put the account on private or something like that. I don't use this site too much, but a bot started sending me messages asking if I needed help so I think my account could get banned because of that person doing this and I'm too old for this, so I'd just rather post the update here where I can at least close the comments. Guess the post will be here if someone cares. First of all I want to clarify that I am from a third world country. Here it is really expensive to get a plane ticket and if I travel I must do it with my wife and our son too so it is too much money that we cannot pay.

I let my daughter's mother take her to another country because like every father, I want her to have better life opportunities. I don't think that makes me a bad father but I guess the minds that have always lived and privileged don't understand. The last time I could afford some tickets was for my daughter to come to the wedding. Not all of us have the privilege of paying for a plain flight. I've been thinking a lot and in fact I'm the odd because of the way I treated my wife. Even if most of the comments agreed with me, I don't think it was right to say that to the woman I love even though I was angry. I apologize to her for what I said and the way I said it but I told her that I don't like it when she ignores me and gives me the cold shoulder when I try to talk about our issues and the fact that she denied the familiarity between our son and daughter was just cruel. She apologized for it and said she was angry and said things she regret.

I made it clear to her that Anna is coming because no one can forbid any of my children to live with me, not only morally but legally I am totally obligated to give my daughter and son a house. She tried to argue, but I asked her how she would feel if we divorced and my new girlfriend refuses to let our son live with me just because she didn't sign up for it. I asked her if she would appreciate a man who abandons his children for a woman more than a man who cares. about his children. If she would feel confident knowing that she is married to a man who abandons his children that easily. My wife said no, that obviously she knows how much I care about our children and hates the kind of man's who abandons their kids, that she knew she wanted to have a child with me because she saw how even though my daughter was so far away I made video calls to her every day and we always help each other with things around the house. Then I

asked her why she rejects the idea of my daughter being here and she admitted being jealous of Anna, it is something that I have noticed in the past. For example, for one of my daughter's birthday I sent money to her mother to buy her address that was quite expensive and my wife just said, I guess you will buy our son something just as expensive. It was my mistake to let those comments pass and think they were just a weird joke. She said that she doesn't want my daughter to come and took time away from our son. That bothered me and I told her that if we had two children my time would also be divided and that as a father I can give the same attention to both. Changing our routine doesn't have to be a negative thing and she knows that Anna is not a problem teenager. We talked a lot and I explained to her that I just want to make everything work for both of us.

I apologized if I made her feel bad with the way I treated her, and I told her that I want to really hear what things are bothering her so we can understand each other better. We agreed to have better dialogue and communication about this kind of things. My wife admitted that her jealousy is wrong and feels embarrassed about it, but it's how she feels and she feels awful for feeling like that. I told her that feeling isn't right, being jealous of my daughter isn't right and I told her that it would be okay to start going to the psychologist if we want to fix this because I'm not going to leave my daughter live in a place where she doesn't feel loved. My wife accepted after talking about it a lot these days and she wants to work on herself about that because doesn't like feeling like that about a little girl and knows it's wrong. My wife and daughter always had a nice treatment. When I make video calls with Anna, my wife usually talks a little but not that much. I think my mistake was not offering my wife to make video calls alone with Anna like Anna does with my toddler sometimes.

My daughter really likes my wife and calls her auntie even if they don't know each other too well, so I don't want her to know how my wife really feels about her. I offered my wife to teach her how to play the same video game I play with my daughter so they can play together and get to know each other more, I know Anna would love that. They both have a lot of same interests, she accepted and said she loves me and wants to try it for me and for our toddler. If I leave my wife I would be breaking my son's house. He's my baby too and the last thing I want is letting adult matters affect him. I don't want to do that and I love this woman. I want this to work and I'm going to do my part for it but the first moment she treats my daughter badly, I will end things with her and I

clarified that to her and she was right with that and promised me to work on this. I still haven't confirmed anything to Anna's mother about the date on which our daughter can come since I need to fix the room for her first and I want my wife and little girl to get to know each other better, talking about it with my psychologist. He told me that the best thing is always to get them closer little by little before Anna comes to live here. This last four days my wife and Anna have been talking longer and I told Anna that we could teach my wife how to play with us. Anna feels really comfortable talking with my wife

and they started talking about random things which I feel out of because I don't understand about the things they talk about. But I'm pretty glad to see that they actually have things to talk about. I suppose a lot of people are going to call me an idiot for not divorcing my wife because that was what most of the comments told me. But it's not all that simple as yeah, we argued so let's get divorced in a 50-50th custody and I personally think it's been better for us to have spoken up like mature people instead of just getting divorced, seeing that my wife has opened up to me and is trying to work things out. I prefer to give this a second chance and hope that she can see my daughter as her friend and even as her family if she allows it to herself.

Your wife is going to treat your daughter badly. No one can read the future to say that, but I can work to make that future not happen. In the meantime, I prefer to maintain a positive approach since my wife has never behaved badly with my daughter. and my daughter knows that if she feels uncomfortable, she knows she can talk about it with her mom, stepdad, or me as we always teach her to talk to us about anything that makes her uncomfortable. Anna has a sharp tongue, so I doubt she'll stay quiet if my wife makes any comments that make her uncomfortable. I'm not going to force them to be best friends, I want them both to flow on their own. I'm also not going to use my daughter as a free babysitter as many in the comments suggested as a supposed solution and both she and her brother can live. in this house as long as they want. Edit.

In the previous post several people said that my wife also made a post here, but it's false. She doesn't use this site Edit 2, I don't understand why, but I've been getting a lot of notifications from that bot from a Redditor who thinks I need help and private spam messages from different accounts created literally today. I really don't know who's doing this and I don't understand what's the fun of annoying like that, just block me. Relevant comments where Op has replied, commenter, if your wife doesn't get over her jealousy though, you're going to have to make a choice.

Hopefully, since she took ownership of how awful what she said slash did was, she'll become better. Oop, yes, I have made it clear to my wife that my decision will always be to protect my children from any person or situation so if her jealousy returns, there will be no third chance. Commenter, do you plan on leaving your daughter alone with your wife? Oop, for now they have video calls with me, if my daughter wants to have video calls only with my wife, then they will have video calls alone. My daughter is smart and has a sharp tongue, if she feels uncomfortable with anything my wife does she will tell me or her mother or stepfather about it.

Commenter, I meant when she comes to stay with you, would you feel comfortable with leaving your wife alone with your daughter? Oop, if my wife continues to improve her behavior and continues to be open to having a close relationship with my daughter, yes, the ideal is that as I said in the post. That is precisely the reason why they are making video calls together, so that not only me but also that they feel comfortable with each other when they live together. Commenter, just because she's okay doing video calls with your daughter and being nice to her, doesn't mean she's going to be the same when your daughter is in her home, especially when she doesn't want her there.

Boop, and it doesn't mean she'll treat her badly, either. Neither you nor I know the future. and we could assume all night about what will happen, I prefer to think about the best for all the members of my family and trust that my wife wants to improve for herself and others with professional help. Wife needs to know she can talk to you if she's uncomfortable. This probably won't end well. Oop, my wife knows she can talk to me about whatever she wants, as I said in the post, she has opened up to me about what she really thinks and we've been having a sincere dialogue.

Update 2, June 23rd, 2024. I didn't really think about updating again, but I remembered that I have the account and I thought why not? Since I have free time in this moment while I take care of my toddler. My daughter and my wife's relationship is going very well, they both make video calls to watch some series together that they both like. They have even started to have inside jokes that I don't understand, but I think that's something good although to be honest now I feel a little left out, just joking. My wife has been going to the psychologist, and me too, I want both of us to get better together, to work on her insecurities and problems because she knows that feeling jealous of my daughter is not good at all and a few weeks ago she talked to my daughter about her feelings towards her and apologized. My daughter was quite surprised to learn that my wife felt this way but accepted the apology and told her that she understands her. I left them talking alone that day so they have privacy and after that they have had a closer bond.

My wife said that my daughter told her that she will always respect someone who is sincere and wants to be a better person. In the previous post many said that I decided to bring my daughter without talking about it with my wife before, but that's literally what I did. I never confirmed anything to the mother of my daughter until I spoke with my wife, I was never the partner of my daughter's mother, BTW. Many comments mentioned her as my ex-wife, but we were never anything. The talk about bringing my daughter back was paused because I wanted them to know each other better before living altogether, but my wife started to talk about how she wants to decorate the bedroom and rejected all my ideas because they're too boring for a girl so she's having fun redecorating the room with our toddler who's really happy to see his sister in person. We still didn't arrange the date because my daughter's mother have to talk with her high school for the problems there and everything and I have to prepare everything here too but all is going well step by step. Update 3. New Update, September 12th, 2024. Hello, I just wanted to have one last update before deleting the account since I don't see the point of continuing to have it.

Ha ha my daughter has been living with us for weeks now, my wife and she get along well. Her little brother adores her and they can finally spend time together in person he's really excited to have her home now. My wife has been working a lot on herself and I have noticed how much she changed in a good way and how her relationship with my daughter. is good, I noticed it especially when we went to pick up my daughter at the airport and my wife was very excited to see her, they had been watching movies together online for months. She is no longer jealous of my daughter and although it is a process that takes time, I know that she is making an effort. My daughter has not started school here so she will have to wait until next year. Anyway, we decided to bring her now since in a few months the tickets will be much more expensive.

It was my wife the one who told me that and that she felt ready to spend time in person with her. I was really happy to hear her say that, I didn't expect her to already feel ready to tell me that. My daughter lived in a country in Asia, although it was a really beautiful and safe country. It was very difficult for her to adapt and their bullying is something very serious, much more so towards her who had so much difficulty with the language. Sometimes she obviously misses her mom but they text a lot, I try to spend as much time as I can with her so that she doesn't miss her mother and stepfather too much. I also take her to see our relatives and she has met my wife's family as well. But in general I know that she feels happy here and she has told me that she missed her grandparents, uncles and cousins. The whole family is very happy that she is back here.

My wife and I are doing great. and I've also worked on myself by going to therapy, now we talk a lot whenever something bothers us or we have some discontent. I think the key is that we can communicate even if they are dark thoughts. I know that she is a good person and like everyone, she has dark thoughts but she is a good person because she works on improving herself and I'm doing that too. I love her and I know she's a good mother who wouldn't treat my daughter badly. I like to take care of our children, take care of them, clean and cook for them although sometimes I find it hard to understand that my daughter now does all that by herself and I don't have to do it,

ha ha, but she is still small in my eyes just like her brother. Anyway, I'm sorry if it's a boring update and everyone expected me to divorce my wife, but things are like this smile. Luckily, we are starting to solve our problems. They now have a relationship of friends and I like that if they are happy like that. I hope you enjoy this story. Allow my late spouse's guardians to visit my child as a gesture of goodwill, but they are now attempting to take her away from me, alleging in legal proceedings that I am an inadequate mother due to my actions. Got a new boyfriend. I, 30F, am the single mother of Clara, 2F. My pregnancy wasn't planned, I had a no-strings-attached relationship with her father, Jack, 30s M, for seven months when I became pregnant unexpectedly. He lived in another state, but would visit my city monthly for business reasons and we hit it off after meeting in a bar.

We thought about our options regarding the pregnancy, but I decided to keep the baby. Jack wanted to be part of her life, so we planned to raise the baby together but not as a couple, just co-parents. Unfortunately, Jack's passed away during my pregnancy. Jack's parents, Linda and James, knew that I was pregnant when he passed. We already had done a prenatal paternity test at the time. We were all devastated by his passing, but of course his parents were destroyed by it. Clara is their first and only grand kid and she became their beacon of light in a dark time, as they say. They have other two daughters, Ruth, 37F, and Lily, 27F, but they don't have children. Ruth is trying to conceive for a long time with her husband

and Lily is child-free and single. Jack's whole family lives in another state, with the exception of Lily, that lives abroad. They have a family business so their life is there, while I'm I have my family and career in my current city, where I live with Clara. Since Clara was born, we have an agreement, nothing legal, but we all agreed with visitations for her grandparents and aunts. They usually visit Clara twice a month. James and Linda are the ones that visit the most, but Ruth also shows up sometimes. I really appreciate their presence on her life. Since the beginning, a point of content on our relationship was traveling with Clara to their state. they have a big property that's in their family for over 100 years and have a family business too.

In their small town they are treated as almost royalty and wanted Clara to experience that. I understand that it's good for my daughter to know her heritage, but I always put my foot down on the idea of their traveling with her without me. I already visited their hometown three times with Clara since she was born, but this isn't enough apparently. Our relationship wasn't perfect. I had some issues with Linda meddling way too much on my parents. but we were civil until I started my current relationship. I've been dating Ted, 34M, for almost a year and things are tense with James and Linda. Ted and I don't live together and he has a daughter, Marie 4F, that lives with him. Linda has expressed disapproval to his constant presence in my house, which is not true. Both of us work a lot in between our kids and other priorities we probably

see each other three to four times a week, to Marie having played dates and sleepovers with Clara and the list go on. The woman will find a way to comment something even about Ted's car parked in front of my house. Things escalated when two weeks ago I emailed Linda, James, and Ruth an invite for Christmas Eve. Ted and I will have a get-together with our families and close friends. I decided to invite Clara's grandparents so they can expend Christmas Eve with her,

but I also let them know that if they prefer they can take her for lunch on Christmas day. The next day Linda texted me that they already had plans to take Clara to their home on Christmas. I said that this was not happening. I didn't hear anything from her for about two days. Linda called me stating that she gave me two days to cool off and be reasonable. I asked what she meant, and she said they have rights over Clara and they had waited too much to take her home for Christmas. Now she is bigger and can travel without me. I said that this was never discussed and I will not let them travel with my daughter without even discussing with me before.

Linda said this was the discussion before the travel. I laughed on the call and said she was delusional. Things escalated quickly after that. I was accused of trying to replace Jack on Clara's life. I also said some things that were a little cruel about Jack never even meeting Clara. After Linda hung up on me, James called and tried to reason with me. He let it slip that they bought Clara's plane tickets two months ago without asking me first. I said there's no way I would let them walk all over me. James lost his temper and demand that I should apologize to Linda or we will go to court over this. I didn't back down and said they were choosing to fight over this, not me. Well, after some time of silence from them I was served with court papers. They are suing me over

custody of Clara and are stating I am unfit as a mother. I already have a lawyer who I consult before our fight over the phone. She told me yesterday they have almost zero chance of getting any custody. The most they can get is visitation, but still I am worry about this becoming a legal battle. People on my life are divided. Part of them think I did nothing wrong by putting up boundaries and others think it's petty of me to start a fight with my daughter's grandparents when I could let them travel with her for Christmas when I know they are good grandparents and will take care of her. Ada. Some clarifications are needed. One, how Linda and James know details about my life. How they know about Ted's car and Marie's play dates. They do live in another state, but they visit often.

At least twice a month they come to see Clara, and they come to my house to pick her up and to leave her after their outings. This is how Linda realized Ted's car on the front of my driveway, since I live in a gated community, and it's forbidden this type of parking unless it's the homeowner's car. The first time she saw his car, Linda asked if I would call the security to tow the car, and I said no because it was Ted's car. They also used to FaceTime Clara three times a week. That's how they learned about some of her play dates and sleepovers with Marie. They called when Marie was still at the house with Clara and saw her.

Two, they expected my toddler to travel alone on a plane? No. I think I couldn't explain well enough. James said they would travel to my city, take Clara with them on the plane to their state, and after a week they would bring her back. She was never supposed to travel alone, for what they were planning. 3. Do I believe they were going to kidnap my daughter? I don't know. I think it's possible.

Some comments made me paranoid to be honest. James said they bought her tickets back, but I don't think I should trust him without proof. Their word means nothing now. 4. Do I still have contact with them? No, my lawyer advised me to cut all visits, video calls with Claire. and only communicate with my daughter's grandparents through our lawyers. They are not blocked on my phone, but I will not receive any call from them. If they text me or email me, I'll have it sent to my lawyer.

Trust me, today was all about making an FU binder and documenting every little thing. Thank you a lot for the advice, guys. And don't worry much, Clara and I live in a very secure community, with cameras and armed security. Nobody will take her from me. Comments where OP has replied, commenter 1. NTA. They bought plane tickets two months ago without asking you? That's not planning ahead, that's delusional travel agency energy.

You are Clara's mom and not some vacation rental they can book on Airbnb Oop. Exactly. That's what pissed me off the most, who does that with someone else's child? They act like Clara is their child, not mine. Commenter too, if I were you. I would get the most aggressive underhanded lawyer I could find to drag their names through the mud. You cannot trust your child with them. They do not respect you.

They are selfish and unreasonable bullies. Fight fire with fire, NTA OOP. My lawyer is a very fierce lady with almost 20 years of experience in family law. My sister is a lawyer and was her student on college. She immediately said I should phone her former teacher and I did. Commenter 3. NTA. This is your child. They have no right to demand anything, and you were kind enough to include them in your life at all.

Do you have a security system at your house? I would be worried about them showing up. Boop. I have a very good security system in my home. My dad made sure to supervise the installation when I moved to my house while pregnant. There's no way they will show up without being recorded. Commenter 4. NTA, you have been more than kind of.

in fostering a relationship with them. I am positive that they will not get custody, but I am curious about grandparents' rights. Is that a thing in your country slash state? If it is, I would fight to make sure all of the visits are near you. It would look bad for them to take her and try to keep her away from you,

but they have already proven to be shady and underhanded OOP. According to my lawyer, since Jack is dead, they have grandparents' rights here in my country. But only visitation and only on the same city the child lives, she thinks there's no way they'll have custody. So this could make them have less access to her than before. OOP clarifies details regarding the inheritance Clara has in her country after Jack's passing. Here her inheritance is already secured and received. She inherited 50%

of her father's assets and will receive his share when her grandparents pass away. It's the law. Here if you die without being married or having a common law partner, you have to live at least six months with someone to be considered a legal partner, 50% go to any children you have and 50% goes to your parents. In case your parents aren't alive, 100% will go to your children. The other way around if your childless 100% will go to your parents if they are alive. There's no need for an executor for her to receive the inheritance. But I did put her assets on an investment trust to avoid issues in the future or accusations that I used all of her money. Update, February 11, 25. Hey, I posted my story here some months ago and was surprised about how this blew up fast, not only on Reddit but also on other apps.

I was not sure if I should post an update, since I was fearing being doxed, and also I received a ton of hate through messages and people reposting my story bullying me and wishing for me to lose my daughter's custody. About the possibility of doxing, I talked to my lawyer and showed her my post, and she said that I could update if I keep the fake names and don't give up on personal details. Until now, nobody in my life has discovered my post, which makes sense since English is in our country's first language. Having said that, I like to also preface that my grammar and writing skills on English aren't the best, since this is my second language, but I was truly appalled about how many people attacked me for it. Some people said that I must be an alcoholic to commit as many grammar mistakes and that I deserve to lose my daughter for being a drunk, which is not true, I don't drink. I know the internet can be toxic, but some people are whiling to go too far to bully others, this is very low. I just hope everyone that criticized my writing skills have better knowledge than I have while

learning other language. When you guys start to speak or write in a second language I hope you don't meet someone like yourselves, who will bully you for not writing exactly in the proper way when it's not even your mother language. More than two months has passed, and a lot has happened since. My life was really chaotic for some weeks, and I felt that I couldn't celebrate Christmas the way I truly wanted because I was constantly worried about the custody lawsuit. I am relieved to say now that this is over. Also, to the ones worried about Clara, I thank you guys for being so gentle.

TBH I think more people were nice and gentle than bullies, so I am truly thankful for your well wishes. From the bottom of my heart. Clara is healthy and happy, luckily nobody tried anything to take her from me. I know a lot of you said they could try to kidnap her, I'm still worried about it, but nothing has happened. After I made my post, I spent several days working with my lawyer, my family, and even with the home security company I hired to ensure that Clara was safe, all my security cameras were working, and that I had all the documentation needed for court. My lawyer and I prepared tons of documentation about me, Clara and even got the backlogs of visitation in my gated community that proves that

Ted has never spent the night here. My family were very aware about my fears of kidnapping, and they made sure to always be around us. I have to thank you guys for the incredible advices I got. I don't want to put too much weight on talking about haters, because 90% of comments and messages were truly nice and caring. I tried my best to listen to my lawyer and many things you guys said we could do to ensure our safety. Not only that, but I talked to Clara's pediatrician, pediatric dentist, swimming teacher, even my parents' church where Clara sometimes goes to the kids' classes. They are aware of the lawsuit and that nobody should give up information about Clara or me, under no circumstances. They are all on the same page and are giving us support and being

understanding. Some people also advised me to speak to Clara's aunts to know if they are aware of the lawsuit and the possibility that their parents could try to take my daughter. I was not sure about how to do this, my lawyer said that I could try to communicate with them, but all via text or email. Before I could do this, Lily, Jack's younger sister that lives in Europe, texted me to ask if I had received Clara's Christmas gifts she sent through mail. I saw this as an opportunity and wrote a text explaining what was happening with her parents. Lily said she had no idea about the lawsuit or that they wanted to take Clara for Christmas and fly with her on a plane. She said that she would speak with Ruth and ask her about this, since Ruth at the time was very distant from their family

group chat. A day later, Lily and Ruth created a group chat to talk to me. They asked to have a video call with me, I said I had to talk to my lawyer first. My lawyer agreed to me doing the call, if they let me record it to make sure nothing would be used against me. Both agreed, and we had a video call that was enlightening to me. Ruth apologized to me for being absent from our lives over the last months. She was dealing with many personal issues, but had happy news to share. Ruth went through her third IVF round and as of now she is around 22 weeks pregnant with her first child. She kept everything quiet, just Ruth and her husband Sam knew about the IVF proceedings and the pregnancy. She said this was because Linda used to put too much pressure and

stress over her the other times they tried IVF. Ruth was distancing herself from things that raised her anxiety levels, and her mom was a main source of anxiety. Her pregnancy is a good news, but didn't surprise me, since I knew she was trying for a baby. I'm happy she finally was able to conceive. Here I have to explain that Linda is what people call boy mom. She never got along with her daughters. I had an inkling about that, but since I was not close to them, I had no idea about how bad her relationship with her daughters were. They just seemed distant and James was closer to their daughters. Ruth swore that she didn't know about the lawsuit until Lily called her the day before. That after this, she talked to her dad and to his best friend, who's a lawyer, to understand

what's going on. She was surprised that James' friend didn't know anything about the lawsuit, since he is usually the lawyer representing him. James, on the other way, tried to divert the subject when Ruth's asked, but she pressured him, and eventually he fooled and told her everything. James claims that he didn't want to sue me, but Linda's mental health has deteriorated to a point that he feared for her well-being. The only thing that could make her get out of bed is Clara and the thought of having her around. He ignored that this makes Linda the one who's not fit to raise a child, not me. His plan was to pressure me with the lawsuit, in order to make me to accept a better deal of visitation for them. They wanted more days with her and to be able to travel with her to their home multiple times a year.

James never said that they wanted to keep her forever, but I am not trusting on his words. My trust is shattered. Ruth and Sam tore James a new one for suing me over custody to manipulate me and for not forcing Linda to go to therapy. He claimed Linda doesn't accept the idea of going to see a therapist, as she is not crazy, and said that she would not go under no circumstance. Ruth had to threaten James that if he didn't withdraw the lawsuit and get the help Linda and him need, she will go no contact and resign from the family business. She was very worried about the

idea of them doing the same to Sam in case she dies, and their child is left with her husband. James kind of broke after this and caved to Ruth's demands. After my call with Ruth and Lily, I was under the knowledge that the lawsuit would be terminated. Unfortunately in my country from the 20th of December until 20th of January the courts are on break. They only deal with emergency cases, mine wasn't. Their lawyer reached out to mine to talk about the end of the lawsuit and about writing a visitation agreement that the family court would approve. We agreed to work on this, but I would only sign any visitation agreement after they had withdrawn their lawsuit for custody and only if they agree to follow my rules. For what I know, after being pressured by her whole family, Linda eventually

accepted to start therapy and she is seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist. She was diagnosed with depression and PTSD related to Jack's death. I know this because my lawyer demanded that her doctors had to put an evaluation of Linda's mental state in order on our legal agreement for me to accept a visitation deal with Clara's grandparents. I never said here, but Jack's death was sudden and violent. He was a victim of a robbery gone wrong. All of us were shocked about his passing, but Linda and James took the brunt of it. I always felt that they didn't mourn enough, since they switched their attention to my pregnancy few weeks after his passing and I was right to think that. In our visitation agreement, I also demanded that both James and Linda have to go through grief

counseling, to which they agreed a number of sessions. Me, James and Linda are attending virtual family therapy for the first months of our agreement, to make sure we are on a healthy space to deal with our relationship and put Clara's well-being first. Regarding to this, I have nothing to complain, they accepted my terms pretty easily. They did try to fight against the idea of supervised visitation, but I had no reason to accept otherwise. Now they will visit Clara twice a month on a family center in my city, this is something my country has, is a public building where things related to custody of minors and family problems regarding custody are handled. They have very good security there. Those visits will be supervised by a social

worker who was assigned our case by the judge that signed our visitation agreement. about my fears of kidnapping, I have to say I didn't felt validated by my country laws. Basically me and my lawyer went to a police station and we did an occurrence about the possible kidnapping. They didn't seem to take this serious and as of now they will not press charges. At least there's paperwork regarding my fears. James ended up sending my lawyer Clara's planes tickets to proof they bought her two tickets and were not planning on staying with her. Since they have money, I don't think it would be hard for them to bought a ticket back knowing they will not use it. So I am still not trusting or believing them.

I don't have plans of letting them visit Clara without supervision. Even their aunts know that to see Clara they will have supervision too. Everyone is accepting this right now and the visits have started over a couple of weeks ago. Let's see what happens in the future. I also don't intend on traveling to their state or city in the near future. I am truly scared about the chances of they using their power to take my daughter, so I will not make it easier for them. Thank you again for the help and well wishes. As of now Clara and her mama bear are doing well and enjoying a couple of days I take have to spend quality time together and finally celebrate, since our Christmas was very stressful.

I hope you enjoy this story. Felt envious when my partner Basil crafted a stuffed toy for him as a holiday gift and insisted that he give it back. Later on, she requested a coffee meeting to reconcile, and I agreed. If she got divorced, she'd just be another woman in his life so he broke up with me. I just want to start by saying that I realize I might be totally wrong and insecure in this situation. I just really want another perspective or something because I just can't help the fact that this bothers me and I am admittedly feeling jealousy. I have been with my boyfriend for six months at this point. He has four siblings, three brothers, and one sister, and we have.

are the shortest relationship in the family. Three of his siblings are married and another is in a very long-term relationship. I think the shortest relationship in the bunch is five and a half years. So I will admit I am a bit intimidated and insecure there. For Christmas this year his sister-in-law made him a homemade plushy of this little blue baby dinosaur-looking character from his favorite game Guild Wars. The plushy is amazing quality and he absolutely loved it. But she didn't make one for any of the other boys who also love the game just as much. Not even her husband. In fact, she went out of her way to give it to him without his other brothers around except for her husband. Her husband was just as excited for her to give his brother the gift as she was, but it just felt off to me and I

haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Why would she work so hard on something for my boyfriend and no one else? And it just felt like such a personal gift that I could never match and I just feel like she totally took away from what I gave him. I did try talking to my boyfriend about it and how I thought it was weird. He said he didn't think it was weird at all because she has always been closer to him than the other brothers. Well, shouldn't she be closer to her husband than him? He didn't get one. I don't know. I asked him if he would give it back to her saying he can't accept it and he refused and said, I'm being ridiculous. I just feel like a woman doesn't make such a personal gift for a guy unless they see them as something more.

It was just how I was raised and I hate feeling this way about something like this. I talked to my mom and sister and they both agreed that it wasn't right and that this was most likely the beginning of her trying to push me out. I just can't help but feel like she was trying to make him like her more than me

because he said she has never given him anything before and this is our first Christmas together. I just don't know what to think. Or if I'm overthinking this completely. Comments where O.P. has replied, Comment one, you're reading way too much into this. As someone else said, there may be a backstory on and joke there that you don't know about. Also, it's entirely possible that she's working on gifts for everyone else.

If it's as nice as you say it probably takes a while to make so maybe she ran out of time. I talked to my mom and sister and they both agreed that it wasn't right and that this was most likely the beginning of her trying to push me out. WTF? She's happily married to his brother and gave him the gift in front of her husband and you think she's trying to push you out? That's some master level insecurity there. Oh, O-op, I guess the time thing is a good way to look at it. It does look very professional I don't so, so I really don't know how long something like

that takes. And that's just how my mom has raised us. She has always been very protective of our father. I try not to be her because I know she can be a bit much at times, but this situation just completely threw me off. And it's honestly hard to see as other sibling significant others fitting into the family unit so well while I'm just the outcast. Comment two, if anything I'd say that your mom is trying to drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend's family, even if she's doing it unwillingly. Comment three, you are overreacting. Being a jealous, paranoid and controlling girlfriend will drive him away.

You've been together six months and you're already trying to determine what presence he's allowed to receive from his family. That's crazy. You are the one making up a wedge to drive between you and his family, not her. Calm down. It's a stuffed animal, not a blow job. Which is probably what her husband got and why she didn't gift it in front of you. OOP, it wouldn't have bothered me if it was from his actual family. It's just that it's the significant other of his brother that bothered me.

If his actual sister made it for him I would never in a million years have asked him to return the gift. Comment four, an in-law is actual family. And you do yourself no favors by making those kinds of distinctions. My sister-in-law is my family and I'd be really annoyed if someone tried to tell me that she wasn't. Oh, O-op, that's just a really hard distinction for me to make honestly. His one brother has been in a long-term relationship for seven years. They do not plan to marry. Yet this sister-in-law has been with her husband for five and a half years.

She hasn't been with the family for as long as the other one who isn't married, so how is she more their family than the other girl who has been around longer? Just because of documents? I always viewed marriage as the couple making their own family unit. Comment 5. This hair splitting about who is more his family is really weird. She is married to his brother. She is family. It doesn't matter if they've been married for five minutes or 15 years. The woman who is in a long-term relationship with his other brother is a woman. also family. No one is more family than the other. It's not a pH level. They're familial ties.

Update. My first post wasn't popular by any means, but it got a decent amount of comments so I figured I'd update. I went a few weeks without saying anything else about the subject because everyone on here seemed to disagree with my side of things. Then last Saturday he told me he was going to be spending the day at his brothers just to hang out. We generally make plans on Saturdays, but I hadn't had the chance to make plans official with him yet, I just figured it was implied at this point. So I asked him if I would be allowed to go over there with him. That's when he told me that it was just going to be a day with him and his brother. So I reminded him that since it is his brother's house, then most likely his wife will be present too, so I didn't really see how it was fair. Ultimately it blew up and I

told him everything, brought up the gift again and just how I feel intimidated by everyone and feel like his sister-in-law is on some pedestal or something because she gets to be there and I don't. I also mentioned how I just felt like I was being pushed out by her and that the gift made me uneasy. He was frustrated and told me that he was going to his brothers and that he would talk to me later. So I spent all morning Saturday on edge and just completely jealous. Then around 1 p.m. his sister-in-law called me, I guess he gave her my number, and asked me if I was free to meet her for coffee. I was confused but agreed to have coffee. with her. I expected it to be awkward. At the coffee shop she wasted no time to tell me that my boyfriend

had told her everything. She said she wanted to meet for dinner because she wanted me to see her face and see that she was genuine in everything she had to say. She went on to explain that she had no feelings for him in the way I was implying to him and no intention of pushing me out. She said her original plan was to make the plushy for all of the boys since they all play the game but it took her way too much time to make one, so she wanted to give it to her favorite brother-in-law. I questioned why not her husband and she said that she lives with him and he knew she was making it in the first place and that she could make him one any time and just wanted that one to be a surprise Christmas present. I told her that I still kind of thought it was inappropriate since

he was in a relationship now and she just paused and didn't say anything for a few seconds. Then she asked me if there was anything else that was bothering me. I used today as an example and said it bothered me that he went to her house and told me I couldn't come because it was a day with his brother even though she would obviously be there. She told me that it is a day with his brother and that just because she lives in the house doesn't change that. She said that she kept to herself doing her own things while the boys played video games with each other and that my boyfriend came to her when she was in the kitchen to talk to her about me briefly. I didn't say anything. I still felt a bit jealous but I just didn't know what to say. She then asked me if I had anything

else I wanted to get out and I declined. She said that she didn't want to part ways without giving me some advice. She went on to say that she thinks I'm a very nice girl and that the entire family feels that way and wanted to remind me that all of the spouses and significant others were new to the family at one point in time. She went on about how it takes time to feel a closeness with everyone and that she went through it too. She then said that she didn't want to come across the wrong way but that I needed to work hard on my insecurities or else I would lose my boyfriend. She just went on and on saying how I am so nice and that I am ruining a good thing by letting myself overthink these things and by being so insecure. She told me to really think

about how I am acting over his own sister-in-law interacting with him. That's when my stupid brain made me say, well, if you were to get a divorce, then you wouldn't be his sister-in-law and you would just be another woman in his life. That was the moment it finally hit me just how crazy I was being. She gave me this look and said, well, we aren't getting a divorce so, and I just felt completely embarrassed and apologized. She then very nicely told me that on second thought she thinks I might not be ready for a relationship at all and that I really need to work on myself. That was pretty much the end of it and we parted ways. I spent the rest of the weekend crying and hating myself. My boyfriend didn't call me or text me at all. Finally on Monday, he asked if he could come over.

So he came over and asked how it went with Sill and I had figured he knew everything, but he said that all she said was that he needed to talk to me. Turns out he didn't talk to me all weekend because he was angry with how I acted about him going to his brother's house then bringing up the gift again and he just needed some space. He told me that he wasn't going to put up with this type of behavior and that it is putting way too much unnecessary drama into his life. As I'm sure you are probably guessing, he proceeded to break up with me. He told me he really cared to. He really cared. about me, but he just can't imagine how bad it will get in the future if I'm already acting like this with people who are his family. I begged him not to leave and that I would do everything to change and he just wouldn't budge. I haven't heard from him since and I feel like I had my heart ripped out and stomped on it hurt so bad. And I know this is all my fault. I have my

mom and sister telling me how it's good riddance and how he broke up with me so that he wouldn't have anything holding him back from his sill and this just broke me. I am so done with my family and the way they put these toxic ideas in my head. I'm just done. So yeah. Not a happy update. From here I am planning on working on myself and hope to someday maybe convince him to give me another chance. I don't know why I wrote this update. It just feels good to get it out, I guess, and further convinces me I need to change. Next story, boyfriend refuses to propose unless I move in with him first, but I won't live together until we're engaged. He said he needs to test things out. He said he needs to test things and when I asked what exactly he's testing, he just shrugged, so I broke up with him.

Six years on July 20th, my BF, 24M, and I, 23F, will be celebrating our dating anniversary. I love him so much he's my best friend in the entire world and we've really grown together since we started dating at 18. As excited as I am to celebrate six years with him I can't help but also dread it because it's another year of him not proposing. We've had a lot of people ask, oh my God, almost six years, why aren't you guys engaged yet? And also some people say you guys are so young, just enjoy your lives and honestly within the relationship we are both split. He went from asking me to marry him every day when we were 18 to saying we need to be more stable once we both enter the corporate workforce. We've discussed marriage, kids and all of that

and have agreed those are things we both want. Of course, I understand him and it is the responsible thing to do to have out finances and such be more stable, however. it seems he's starting to prioritize other things over marriage like he's expressed his aspiration to move into the city, then another day wanting a new car, and then the next wanting to travel together and all these new aspirations and wants are starting to hurt my head because it seems like he doesn't know what he wants. We've had so many discussions about our future and what we want to create together and what we wish for ourselves, but he always seems so sure about what he wants for himself and not for us. His older sister got engaged last year and of course, we were both

so happy and excited for her. However, I later found myself getting angry and upset not towards her but my BF. He seemed so excited for her and her fiancé in their future and started talking about our future as if it was a distant future. Like when people would tease us saying, oh, you guys are next, he just chuckle and stay quiet or say, oh, we've got a long way. What was worse was that he'd ask me for my opinion about his sister's wedding, almost rubbing it in my face asking me if I'd have a destination wedding, plan the same way as her, etc. Meanwhile, he's saying these contradicting things. In addition to this, I brought up to him recently that I'd like to be engaged soon and he said he would not propose unless we live together for at least a year. I expressed to him that I personally would not

want to live together unless we are engaged, but he said that this is his one non-negotiable. I asked if he was willing to compromise, E, us to be engaged and start looking for a place after but he said know. Just simply no. I asked if there was any other way or if he had any ideas of how we could compromise and he just shrugged. I am in no rush to be married or engaged, but I wanted to ask him his thoughts to further understand where he is at and where he thinks we are progressing. What is concerning to me, however, is that I asked him okay, so if I don't live with you for another three years, then you won't propose and he said yes, again no compromise further insinuating that he would make me wait until he gets his way.

This made me really angry, now I'm at this stage of denial, but also acceptance realizing that he won't do it unless I give him what he wants and I truly don't know what to do. I couldn't even continue the conversation with him because how could I after he just shut me down? He seems to be so excited for our friends and family around us getting engaged and having kids but doesn't seem to be excited for us to do those things. I want to get engaged and married because I love him and want to start our future

together not because I'm trying to relate to people around me. However, I find that he always compares our relationship to other people's E, my sister and her boyfriend traveled all over Europe. Why can't we? Well, my friend and his G.F. just got a place together we should do that. He's expressing what he wants passively and when I actually try to talk to him about it, he seems closed off. I grew up in a fairly traditional household and while I don't carry all of the values my parents raised me with one of the few is waiting to be engaged slash engaged to be married to move and together and he's known this for some time even before we started actively having these conversations. Recently he started doing this thing that's actually made me crazy.

He'll hold my hand and start measuring my ring finger as if cutely trying to gauge my ring size and honestly it feels like a punch in the gut. Like who does that after saying they don't plan to propose anytime soon? At this point I truly don't know what to do anymore and feel lost and almost nervous for our six-year celebration coming up. I don't know how to change his mind because the last thing I want to do is beg him to propose. I feel stuck. Edit, I'm seeing a lot of comments about our ages and again, like I said above. I understand we are young and have been together since I was 17 and he was 18. I understand and hear that advice. However, I am not asking for marriage and babies next year.

I'm simply asking for further commitment and engagement. Personally, I think if you've been with someone for six years you should know by now. Also a lot of you are saying I'm not willing to compromise. I've been hearing him out for years. The issue is I have compromised so much for him and he is yet to do that for me. For two years and the beginning of our relationship he had no job. I paid for almost everything. I've also for the last few years have planned our dates, our trips, etc. I literally remind him when he has a doctor's appointment. Fast forward now being more financial stable we've planned for trips and have traveled together, but when I ask him for some time to save he keeps on insisting he wants to go somewhere and money can always be made later.

When I try to understand him and see his perspective regarding living together, I expect that he do the same for me, but he doesn't. I always put an effort and might I add, for the last two years he hasn't bothered to do something special or plan something nice for my birthday despite having all this money to get a new car and go on all these trips he's changed a lot from the start in our relationship, especially when it comes to effort. He's a good guy, we've had so many great memories together, but I feel sometimes that I just mourn what we used to have. He's masking being responsible with what is convenient for him. It's about him and not about what I want because if it was about what I want, he would understand my wants to save money for the future, to communicate

more, etc. Marriage is not about having the big wedding or party. I told him he could literally propose with a ring pop and I would say yes. He's a great guy, but he's also disappointed me so much and don't think I can handle more disappointment. Update, hi everyone, gosh, it's truly been some time. I honestly kind of forgot I had posted this because a lot has happened in the last month or so. If you haven't read the original post, you can search the title if you haven't guessed already. I broke up with him. I let our anniversary pass, tried to move on from my anger and frustrations, our anniversary was great, I realized he simply just did not and could not understand me and I simply couldn't let it go. About a week after our anniversary we were downtown working and on a whim

he asked if we could grab dinner after work. I said yes and what was supposed to be a casual dinner and go home type of day turned into a dinner and exploring all the neighborhoods he wanted to live in downtown. I felt like I was ambushed into viewing neighborhoods and places I didn't even want to live in slash we never discussed openly and it made me feel almost sick as it felt like he was just rubbing salt onto my wound passively dangling the key to my future ring. If you remember from my previous post about how he used to size my ring finger yeah made me sick to my stomach just like that. At the end of the night before heading home, I asked if we could talk in his car when he was dropping me off. I brought up how I was still

not happy about the relationship feeling one-sided and that while I put in all the effort he put in the bare minimum and still force slash whined about what he wanted in the relationship and never considered what I wanted. He actually got frustrated and said it makes no sense living together is more of a commitment because we are obligated to stay together due to paperwork you can break off an engagement if you wanted to. We've had this conversation four to five times and you still don't understand me. He then went on about how it would be an opportunity to test things out. This statement was very much a slap to the face because I realized there that the same guy he used to vocalize wanting to get married every day did not truly

think nor understand the importance of marriage and unity like I though he did. And what hurt most was that after six years of being together and me for the last two year really vocalizing excitement and a future with him he never once actually listened to me when I talked about how important and exciting engagement and marriage is to me. I then brought up how his words were hurtful saying it's a good way to test it out and see how things go. I asked him what exactly are you testing out after six years test and see if you still like me and want to be together for you to even say you'd have to test things out with us and not know what you want to do now. That's your answer. You're not committed to this not committed to me. So I followed it up with if you aren't sure you want to marry me now you.

won't be sure tomorrow next month next year or in the next five years and i cannot simply wait for you to wake up and see me as worthy of a ring and so i got up out of the car and told him it was over it's been more than a month now and i think i did the right thing of course a part of me still misses and grieves him but that last interaction told me exactly what i needed to hear yes he's tried to keep in touch and wants to talk things out but at this point in time i can't even look at him to anyone out there having these same feelings or maybe going through the same issue do what you think is best for not only you but your future self, your future kids, etc. Thank you to everyone who offered their sweet and supportive words.

Good luck to you all.