Reddit Stories - Mill arrived at our THANKSGIVING GATHERING with her own dishes to SUBSTITUTE all

Episode Date: January 15, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #thanksgiving #familydrama #foodsubstitution #holidaygathering #dinnerconflict  Summary: Mill arrived at our Thanksgiving gathering with her own dishes, intending to substitute all the food we prepared. This unexpected move created tension among family members, leading to a heated discussion about traditions, preferences, and the importance of communication during holiday celebrations. It sparked a memorable family debate.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, thanksgivingdinner, familyissues, fooddrama, holidaytraditions, potluck, cookingconflicts, familygathering, mealpreparation, festivecelebration, communication, foodpreferences, holidaystress, dinnerparty, familydebate, foodsubstitutesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Mill arrived at our Thanksgiving gathering with her own dishes to substitute all the dishes I prepared, as she lacked confidence in my cooking. Consequently, my spouse and I decided to ask her to leave. And now my Phil says we're disrespectful and demands we apologize to her. Hi, everyone. So I'm posting here for the first time because of something that happened a couple of days ago, on Thanksgiving, when my husband and I were trying to host dinner for our

respective families. He and I have been together for the past three years and a couple of months ago, we got married. So this year, we decided that we were going to host a Thanksgiving dinner party as the first event as a married couple. The only person who seemed to have a problem with it, right from the beginning, was his mother, and that was not unexpected at all because she has never liked me much. My husband's maternal side of the family has always been kind of conservative, so it's natural that she has found it very hard to warm up to me. Even though we have known each other for almost four years now, she's still very aloof and doesn't seem to like me much, nor does she bother to hide it.

In the beginning, when we discussed this idea with his family, she was the only one who had a problem and said that his family already does Christmas dinner, so there was no need for us to host Thanksgiving dinner, it would just become too many events. It was a very flimsy and lame excuse, so nobody really cared about it much. We went ahead with our plans and invited our families and a few of our friends. Now here's the thing, I'm a decent cook, but I have to admit that I'm not as good as my mother-in-law. She's excellent, and her Christmas dinners have pretty much always been a hit.

In comparison to her, I might not be that good, but that doesn't make me a bad one either. I'm not a professional by any means, but I can whip up some pretty decent meals. I enjoy cooking a lot, and I think I'm reasonably good at it, so I decided to do all the cooking by myself for Thanksgiving dinner with a little help from my husband. It turned out pretty good and I got a lot of compliments later on, but before that, my mother-in-law kicked up a huge fuss. On the day of the party, she showed up with a bunch of dishes and as soon as she had arrived, she started replacing all the food with her own dishes that she had cooked. She even had wait staff with her who were helping her out by bringing in the dishes, setting the table, and everything,

and she was doing this right in front of me, without even bothering to tell me what was happening. For a couple of seconds, I was very confused after I had opened the door, because everything happened so quickly. But when I finally understood what was happening, I was furious and I confronted her about what she was doing. And very casually, she told me that she had decided to bring in some food that she herself had cooked, because she just did not want to take any risks with the food since people expect a lot from dinner hosted by any member of our family.

That felt like a slap in the face, so I called my husband who had gone out for some last minute shopping, told him what was happening and had him come back home. And together, we asked her to leave and we told her that we would really appreciate it if she did not come back for dinner later. Because I had put a lot of effort into making this a memorable party, and I had painstakingly cooked everything myself, and I did not want her undermining that. I told her that I really respected the fact that she was a good cook, but I did not need her help and neither had I asked for it, and if she did not have any faith in me, then she could just leave me alone. Because I would was tired of her constantly trying to belittle and disrespect me, I had put up with her for long

enough, I couldn't do that anymore. And my husband stood by my side throughout, and after a bit of back and forth, we had her take back all the dishes, and even though she kept shouting about how ungrateful we were, we made her leave. A little while later, my father-in-law called us up and told us that his wife had come home and she was very upset with both of us, and was demanding an apology. Otherwise, she would never speak to us again. He said that he could understand that she might have gone a little overboard, and even when she was leaving the house with all the food, she had lied to him and said that she was going to a friend's place who had asked for help, but he had had no idea that this was what she had in mind.

However, he also said that we did overreact a bit, because she was only trying to help and she might have been a bit overbearing, but we should have been more polite with her instead of asking her to go away and not come back since that was pretty disrespectful. But I think what we did was perfectly justified, so we did not apologize. and even though my father-in-law did end up attending the party and we told everyone that my mother-in-law was not there because she had fallen sick at the last moment, the issue still has not been resolved. My husband has been fighting with his dad every day, because my father-in-law thinks that we should apologize and sort this out, and we don't think that we did anything wrong and

that we owe her an apology. So I don't know now, Ida for telling my mother-in-law to leave when she tried to replace all my cooking for Thanksgiving dinner with dishes that she had prepared? Update 1, hi, thank you so much for all the comments and the overwhelming response that our post received. My husband and I spoke about it, and we decided that we are not going to apologize to his mom. And neither are we going to engage with his dad anymore, because he needs to decide which side he is on. The thing is, it's not just this particular incident that set me off, it's been about her attitude towards me right from the beginning. Like I had mentioned in the post, she comes from a very conservative family, so I didn't find it surprising that she didn't like me much. I'm probably everything that she doesn't like in a woman,

especially a woman that her son is with, and I'm fine with that, but she obviously isn't. For starters, I'm extremely career-oriented, and right from the beginning, it had been very clear that unlike her and the woman she had grown up with, I had no intentions of quitting my job after our marriage. Neither was I planning on doing so after children, and in fact, my husband and I didn't even want kids that much. On top of that, my husband and I split our chores. And she was of the belief that it was wrong of a woman to allow her husband to do any of the household work, so all that might have worked for her, it certainly did not for me. Most of all, I think she did not like the fact that I make more money than her son.

I'm not bragging about it, it's just a fact, and he's fine with it and so am I. We are content with our lifestyle, and he's quite progressive and doesn't have any of these old-fashioned beliefs. but she has clung onto it and has refused to change with the times, so she can't accept me. And that's why she never liked me much, because I refused to live by her ways. She has always treated me coldly, and anyone can see that. In the beginning, I did try to get her to like me, but when I realized that there was no point, I stopped. My husband is kept in touch with his parents only out of his sense of obligation and duty towards

them, and I did not want to create any further tension or friction between us. So even I have not tried to create any drama by unnecessary confrontation with his mother regarding her attitude towards me. He and I believe that the best way to deal with this would be to not deal with it at all, to just let things be the way that they are. Because eventually, she would just have to accept the fact that he loved me and until then, we just planned on being civil to her, but we were not going out of our way to impress her or whatever. And even though my father-in-law had always been nice to me, in contrast to how my mother-in-law treated me, it's surprising that right now he thinks that we should apologize given what she had done the other day. But in hindsight, I guess my husband and I

shouldn't really find it that surprising, because even though at least my husband had tried to get his mother to change her ways and opinions, his father never even acknowledged the fact that there was something off about the way his wife treated me. Don't get me wrong, he himself was pleasant around me. so I thought that maybe he was on our side on this. Now, I don't think so anymore. That's why we have decided not to engage with him anymore, because clearly, nothing is going to come out of it. In the past couple of days,

he has made it very clear that even though he agrees that whatever his wife had tried to do was not right, he thinks that we should still be the ones to apologize first. To be very honest, it's difficult to tell whose side he is actually on, because on one hand, he has been saying that he understands why we were upset. And on the other hand, he still thinks that we should apologize first, even after the way my mother-in-law has treated me for so many years. And quite respectfully, we had even put up with it, hoping that she would change eventually.

I don't think that we could have done more, and I think that expecting us to apologize right now is very foolish and delusional. If they want to continue having a relationship with us, she is going to have to apologize to us, and I'm not going to back off from that. Either way, my husband has told me that he is no problem not talking to his parents right now. Because the way his mother behaved a couple of days ago, it was unacceptable for him. And he also told me that for the past couple of months, he had been thinking about cutting his mother out of his life if she did not change her behavior towards me. In the past, she had been told many times to try and be more accepting of me, and he had genuinely made an effort

to get her to change. But that had never worked, she always had the same attitude towards me, and even though I did not mind or even care, he said that it got on his nerves. Because the fact that he loved me should have been enough for them to be respectful of me, but it clearly was not enough for his mother. He told me that it was quite admirable that I had been so patient and considerate with his mom, and he said that he was really apologetic for whatever I had to face, but ultimately, he just couldn't deal with this kind of behavior from his mother anymore and now. This was the perfect opportunity for him to let her know that he was serious and that he was actually never going to speak to her again if she didn't start behaving more respectfully towards me. And honestly, I think

it's quite sweet and endearing of him. The fact that he has been standing up against his mom for my sake right from the beginning, I think, even though it's the bare minimum, it's very rare for most people. And I think that I'm lucky that I have a husband like him, because honestly, I had not been willing to make a big deal out of this, even though I did feel very annoyed with his mom's behave, only because I did not want him to cut her off for my sake, and then end up resenting me. The fact that he came to this decision by himself without me having to prompt or complain to him, I think that's a sign that I've married the right man and as long as he's with me, I'm honestly not very concerned about what his parents think.

Update 2, hi, so it's been a week and a half since the Thanksgiving party and for the past couple of days, my husband has not been responding to his father-in-law. In the beginning, I don't think that his dad picked up on it, but eventually, he obviously had two. So today, two hours ago, I received a message from him. It was a pretty long one. And in it, he had accused me of turning their son against them. And he said that this was absolutely not acceptable. He told me that I had to do something, I had to talk to my husband somehow, and I had to convince him that he needed to sit down and have a civil conversation with his parents, instead of ignoring them like this, because it was not only disrespectful, it was also pretty mean of him to do so.

They called their son petty, and they said that I was taking things way too far, especially when my mother-in-law had only been trying to help. I find it very weird that they keep insisting that my mother-in-law had only been trying to help, and that's the narrative that they are trying to set. It's weird because I never asked for this kind of help. If I had, then it would have been have been a different story. I don't even understand why they assumed that I would need this kind of help, given that I am a grown woman, and I'm in perfect control of what I'm doing. So I responded to his message, saying that exact thing, that if I had needed any sort of help, I would have contacted her myself. And instead of being respectful towards what I was doing, she had watched into my own

house and tried to make me feel small just to make herself feel better about herself. I don't know what she got out of it, but I was done dealing with this kind of petty behavior, and if my husband did not want to talk to them anymore, that was not my problem. There was hardly anything I could do about it. I'm his wife and I don't control him. With that, I sent the message and this was the first time that I had spoken to my father-in-law like this, because before this, we had always had a cordial relationship and I guess he didn't really see this kind of curt behavior coming from me. Because he replied after almost half an hour, and then he told me that the way I had spoken was no way to speak to him. He obviously played the elderly card, saying that he was my senior by many years

and being my father-in-law was good enough for me to show him some respect, and I could not speak to him like that. He also said that his wife, no matter what she had done, was also so much older to me, and I should have respected them more. And he actually had the audacity to say that so far, he had never said anything unkind to me because he knew that his son loved me, and out of respect for that, he had always tried to accommodate me in their lives. even though he knew that his wife did not approve of me. But now, he felt like his wife was right, and he should not have sided with the two of us. Because clearly, we had taken him for granted and that's why we were refusing to accept his instructions now. I think it's funny that he used the word

except for his instructions, probably to cover up the fact that what he really meant was that we had refused to obey him. Because obviously, that's not a very nice or reasonable thing to expect from two full-grown adults who are perfectly capable of making their own decisions and thinking for themselves. He expected us to obey him, blindly, without thinking whether he was right or not. And the fact that we had refused to accept his authority and apologize to his wife, that's what had actually rubbed him the wrong way. I also found it quite infuriating that he had made it sound like he had been doing me a favor by being nice to me so far, in spite of the fact that his wife did not like me much. He was making it sound as if without the approval of his

parents, my husband would not have married me at all. And I can tell you guys for a fact, that's simply not true. It goes for both of us. We did not care much about what our parents or families or friends thought, we were and still are very much in love with each other, and we don't care what other people think. We just happen to get lucky with the fact that most people, with the exception of his mother, were supportive of us. But even if they hadn't been that way, we still wouldn't have cared. So it's quite a good. bold of his father to make declarations like this, and I was really annoyed at the text that he had sent me. After his first message, when I had replied, I had decided that I was not going to reply

anymore if he sent anything else, but after that second message, I just couldn't hold myself back. I wrote back to him, saying that I did not have to respect his authority just because he thinks he deserves it because he's older than me. I have been quite respectful of him so far, and I intend on continuing to be but if he thinks that my husband and I deciding to stand up for ourselves against them is a mark of disrespect, then I really cannot help it. And once again, I told him that I did not have any control over what my husband does. He's not a child and neither do I intend on treating him like one by forcing him to talk to his parents when he cleared. He does not want to do so. So bugging me about it was

not going to help their case. I also told him that it was nice of him to have treated me kindly even though his wife did not approve of me. But he also needs to remember even though his wife did not like me, I had still treated both of them with the utmost respect. Something which his wife had not been able to bring herself to do when it came to me, and the Thanksgiving incident had just been the last straw for me, which pushed me over the edge. Up until then, I had been tolerating her, but you really cannot blame me for asking her to leave my house and not come back for the party when she did something as unnecessarily dramatic as that, especially when I had put in so much of an effort into making everything perfect for that day.

And she couldn't even see that, she just wanted to belittle me, no matter what the cost. I told him that I did not owe him anything, and if he thinks that just because he had been nice to me for so many years, I have to go and apologize to his wife just because he's asking me to, then he's quite mistaken. I sent that message, and then I blocked him. And because I'm at work right now, I got back to whatever I was doing. I don't think that my husband has been contacted with regards to this right now, because he hasn't texted or called yet. I'm on my break at the moment, so I'm posting this just to get it out of my system before I speak to my husband once I get back home. But I'm just very happy that I chose to

speak up and stand up for myself. Update 3, hey, thank you so much to everyone who commented on my previous post and was supportive. Anyway, so now, two days have passed since my last update. After I got back home from work that day, I expected my husband to know everything that had gone down between me and his dad. I was pretty convinced that by the time I would get home, his parents would have called him up and told him all about how rude I had been. But when I did get home, it was actually quite shocking that he had no clue what I was talking about. So I had to show him the messages, and then I had to explain the whole thing to him, and he told me that he had absolutely no idea that any of this had happened. and even he was quite surprised that his parents had not immediately called him up to complain about me, that was quite uncharacteristic of them. But whatever it was, he was still quite offended at the tone of

the messages that my father-in-law had sent me, and he told me that, even if they had not bothered to contact him, he still wanted to call him up and give them a peace of his mind. He was furious on my behalf, and he kept saying that they had no right to speak to me like this, or even to drag me into this at all. He kept trying to apologize to me, but I told him that this was not his fault, and it really wasn't. In the end, it was his parents who were screwing up their own relationship with their son. And my husband is an only child, it's not even like they have anybody else. So I don't understand what they are hoping to gain out of this. I don't understand why they are so against me that they are willing to compromise the relationship with their only son.

It's very bizarre that they dislike me so much, or maybe it's not even about me, they just probably hate the fact that they cannot control me and him and treat us like their puppets. Anyway, for the past two days, we have had absolutely zero contact with either of them. I had already blocked my father-in-law, I also blocked my mother-in-law, just for good measure. Even though she has not said anything to either of us ever since the day of the party, we don't want to hear from her in the future either. My husband has also done the same, and we have decided that we don't want to interact with them at all, unless they are willing to apologize to us.

Even then, we're going to need some time to think about whether we want to forgive them or not. I wouldn't say that their actions have hurt us emotionally or anything of this sort, but they definitely have been quite disrespectful and annoying. But I'm sure that was not their intention, I'm sure that their intention was to hurt us and in doing that, they have definitely failed, to be frank. Update 4 So my in-laws finally contacted my husband

and of course the first thing that they did was complain about me since they had been blocked by him they decided to use a burner phone to send him a message It's been more than a week since I last spoke to my father-in-law and in the message they literally start off by telling my husband that they are very disappointed in both of us

they said that for the longest time my father-in-law at least had tried to be nice to me and I couldn't even be grateful to them for that They told my husband that things had come to a point where they felt like they could not continue to keep in touch and call him their son anymore, as long as he continued to be married to me. So now, if he wanted to repair things with his parents, he would have to end things with me, and there was just no other way to deal with this situation because I had been very disrespectful towards them and they do not want me back in their lives, even if I apologize.

The tone of the message was pretty ridiculous, and my husband replied to them saying that he did not need them to forgive me, and neither did I need to apologize to them because I hadn't done anything wrong. And if they were expecting an apology to come their way, then they were seriously mistaken. He also told them that he did not care what they thought of me, nor had he ever cared about it, so they could go on believing whatever they wanted to, it hardly made a difference. But ultimately, he was not going to dump me and end our marriage just because they asked him to, and he told them to stop feeling so self-important all the time because it's just delusional. On that note, he ended the message and he sent it to them.

And then he blocked that number as well, so that they would not be able to reach out to him through it again. To be very honest, at this point, we found that message to be more amusing than annoying. Because I cannot believe that they seriously think that we are going to end our marriage just because they said so. I don't understand where they even got that sort of confidence from, especially since my husband has not even spoken to them for the past couple of days. At least that should have been a hint for how he feels right now, and instead of trying to repair their relationship with him, they are digging an even deeper hole for themselves. I can't make sense of their behavior, it's strange. Update 5, hi, so it's been a few days since my in-laws were blocked by my husband, and until

today, they did not try to contact us again. However, today, since it was the weekend, they decided to pay us a visit. They showed up at our door, and unlike what usually happens, this time, my husband did not invite them in when he opened the door. He just asked them what they wanted with him, and he was quite curt with them. They also seemed a little put off by his behavior, but even then, they told him that they had come to sort things out with him since clearly, he was not willing to see sense. But my husband did not engage with them at all. He told them that he was not going to have any sort of discussion with them until and unless

they apologized to me first. I was sitting in the living room. and I could hear the entire conversation, and as soon as he said that, his parents started complaining, saying that he was being ridiculous, and that they did not owe me anything, not even an apology, and that they were only here to talk to him, and they did not care about me. They went on for a while, but my husband stood by what he had said, and said that unless they were willing to apologize to me, he had nothing to say to them. After a while, they realized that he was not going to change his stance on this, so they yelled at him for a bit and then they left. But even then, my husband did not seem to be

phased at all. He just shut the door and came back into the living room, and we didn't even discuss it. It was just not important enough, and I hope that they take a hint now and leave us alone after this.