Reddit Stories - Mill CONTINUED to invite my spouse's former GIRLFRIEND to every family GATHERING, including

Episode Date: August 3, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #relationshipadvice #boundaries #socialetiquette #awkwardencountersSummary: Mill continued to invite my spouse's former girlfriend to every family gathering, causing tension and discomfort. I confronted Mill about the situation, expressing my concerns and setting clear boundaries for future events.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familydrama, relationshipadvice, boundaries, socialetiquette, awkwardencounters, familygathering, formergirlfriend, tension, discomfort, confrontation, concerns, boundaries, eventsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Mill continued to invite my spouse's former girlfriend to every family gathering, including our wedding, where she wore a crimson outfit despite knowing it was the color of my bridal gown. As a result, I decided to sever all ties with them. I, 33F, and my husband Tom, 35M, have been NC with most of his family for three years. Within those three years, I've had twin boys, which has made my Mill try to get back in contact with me. There's a lot of history, but here's a brief summary of why Tom and I are Nc, and it all revolves around Tom's ex, who will call Talia. So, I am Indian American, and Tom is white.

He comes from a pretty traditional family, and grew up in a small town. Talia was Mill's best friend's daughter, and they were the small town romance everybody envied. However, upon meeting in college, Tom and I just clicked on a platonic level, and to be honest, I didn't even have feelings for Tom until four dates in. I guess you could say he had an emotional affair, but he never did anything physically romantic until he broke up with Talia. Talia, of course, remained in contact with his family since she had been, according to Mill, the daughter she always wanted. Keep in mind, Tom has a sister. But Talia is more of a homemaker, while my Sill, who is an absolute angel, and I had always been more career-focused.

Talia had been at every holiday, family gathering, and get-together since the very start of the relationship, and at first I paid it no mind. I was civil to Talia because Mill made it clear Talia matter to her, despite Talia's blatant distaste and disrespectful attitude towards me. That changed at my weddings. We had two, and my parents footed the bill for both. The dress code was simple, aside from the obvious no-white slash wedding party colors rule. Nobody was supposed to wear red. I am well aware that red means you slept with the groom, but more importantly, red is a bridal color in my culture. I wore a red lahenga and sorry to my Indian wedding, which she wore an eggshell, off-white, dress too, keep in mind, white is worn at funerals to represent purity in my culture.

That got my aunties and cousins talking, but I still had a blast since I really didn't care. I did care when she showed up to the American ceremony in a floor-length, apple-red gown with a slit going up the leg. It was a bridesmaid's dress, and it violated the dress code. My sill, along with Tom, went to tell her to change. She did leave after having a hushed argument and came back in a T-length green gown. I assumed she just wanted to see if she could get away with it. Apparently, my auntie saw this too.

which meant Talia was subjected to stairs, whispers, and backhanded giggle fits throughout my whole American wedding. It made Talia feel embarrassed and she cried to Mill, who went to me and told me to keep my kind in line. To this, I crossed my arms and told her that maybe Talia should have stayed in her lane, that she knew not to wear red for multiple, but mostly cultural, reasons, and it wasn't my fault my family is shaming her. It isn't my fault she became canon fodder for my gossiping gaggle of a family.

Yes, I said those words since that is what my aunties are. Those were the consequences of her actions. Tom and Sill backed me up, and Mill left with Talia before dessert. The next day there was a social media post from Talia, crying about how she was exiled from her best friend's wedding because the bride was jealous. I made a post back, telling her that she wore red, knowing how inappropriate it was. How her best friend is her ex, and to not sugarcoat what she did. I then tagged my Mill in a separate post with screenshots of Talia's post and told her this was the last straw,

and that I have been disrespected by Talia from the very beginning of my relationship, and that now that I was her dill, she needed to keep Talia away from family events and holidays since she doesn't respect my husband and I. I didn't care if they still went on weekly shopping sprees or spa days, just keep her away from Christmas and barbecues. Talia removed her post after being publicly called out. Mill was good on this compromise until three years ago, after Talia came to Thanksgiving with a pie and a plastered smile, a Thanksgiving that I was hosting. She said something along the lines of Mill invited me and I wanted to make sure Mill can actually eat something, since I know you tend to cook ethnic food.

I slammed the door in her face, went over to Mill, and told her she could leave with Talia, who I just slammed the door on. Tom looked at his mom, who had this deer in the headlights look. She tried to sputter excuses, and my Phil tried to defend my Mill, but Tom stood firm. He said they had lost access to him, and any extension of him, since they chose Talia. My in-laws, aside from Sill, left, and we haven't spoken since. Fast forward to last week, I got a text from an unknown number, and it was Mill. She said she saw a picture of my boys from a mutual friend's post, and wanted to reconcile. She said she'd keep Talia away this time, and that ever since she got cut off, she's been

in minimal contact with Talia anyway, her Facebook begs to differ. I told her as much, saying I knew BS when I smelt it, and she made her choice. I told Tom about it, and asked if he missed his family. He shrugged, saying he doesn't care, and it's been relieving not having his mom around. He's the youngest son of three, so he was always the baby boy. But, I have since received text from my bills, their wives, and my Phil begging for a second chance. She always wanted to be a grandma, and I do feel like I'm robbing her of a chance. Her other sons haven't had children yet, and still cut her off when we did. But, you can't undo nearly a decade of disrespect with wishes and wants. And Talia is still in the picture, so I'm

skeptical about how long that promise will last. I feel like I'm being calloused, but there are so many stories I can tell about Talia's disregard for Tom's boundaries, and mine. And I don't want to welcome a storm into my house by opening up the gates. Ada for telling my mill she made her choice after she kept my husband's ex around? Edit, since there seems to be some confusion, I want to clarify Tom did not cheat on Talia with me. Tom broke up with Talia after a few platonic hangouts with me. That is why I said you could call it an emotional affair, because you could argue it was one, loosely. Tom only asked me out after he broke up with Talia, and I accepted after he confirmed via texts, he had broken up with her while visiting home for the weekend.

There was no overlap between Talia's relationship and mine with Tom. So, for everyone who thinks I was other woman and the reason my mill hates me if because Tom cheated on Talia, no he didn't. Update, okay. So, first off, thanks to everybody who supported me on my first post. I just wanted to clarify a few things, since I was in hysterics when I wrote the O.G. Post and worded some things weirdly. First off, Tom didn't cheat on me. The timeline goes as followed. Tom and Talia were originally forced to hang out since childhood and Talia developed a crush. The two got together in seventh grade. Tom left for college and met me, we hung out, just platonic, and had stuff in common, more stuff in common than Talia and he.

He went home and broke things off with her. He asked me out the following week, and it took four dates before I actually started to view him as a serious potential partner. See, no interlap of relationships, no affair, no reason for all those comments saying I was an off for being the other woman. Also, thanks for the people who defended me against these people. And before anybody says you're being awfully defensive, you must have cheated, I'm defensive because I view adultery as a crime nobody can come back from.

In my culture, adultery is very common. I believe studies showed 55% of married Indians have committed it, and so it is a sensitive subject. Also to clarify, Talia is the one who wore the white dress to the Indian wedding, and, attempted to wear, the red dress to the American wedding. I know a few people were confused on that, so now on to the update. We have remained NC with Mill. After receiving a few more messages from that number, Tom and I formulated a reply that was along the lines of this.

Dear Mill, you have repeatedly showed you don't care about Tom and I's feelings regarding multiple things. I'm sorry if our relationship broke apart that fantasy you had with Talia being your dill, but the fact is it wasn't going to happen. Talia has been a constant thorn in our relationship, both you and her have been passive-aggressive, rude, oblivious, and snide in your remarks and actions towards. us. You said you would refuse to come to the weddings if Talia was not invited, which you knew would make Tom look bad to my elders, who unlike you, have since accepted him as one of our own. You allowed Talia to berate me, comment about me, joke about me, and if I ever tried to joke back, you would say that's not nice, she was just joking. Funny how jokes were pretty one way in that house. You made it very clear that Talia is the daughter you always wanted hence why I still

cut contact when we did. The only reason your son stay is because they know if they leave, then you'll die with no kids to mourn you, since you nitpick their wives now that I am no longer around to be the scapegoat. I have screenshots of everything between you and Talia, and texts from the both of you, mocking ones and threatening ones. If you try to come after me for grandparents' rights, I will get my attorney and I will make sure you keep your racist s away from my family. With all due respect, please leave us alone. You were fine not talking to us before we had kids, maybe Talia can finally move on and give you grandkids.

Sincerely, the OP family I then blocked their numbers and set all my socials to private. Tom did as well, and we have talked to family about going private and unfriending people who may have ties to Mill or Talia. Things have been quiet since then. I know Talia has seen the post, since she screenshot the post and sent it to Tom via one of those apps you can get a spare number through. He sent a few laughing emojis before telling her he knows about the post and blocking her. Tom has always had my back like this, even if Talia was in the picture, he and Sill would do little things to show we were a united front. I know a lot of people

gave Tom Flack in the last post for not standing up for me, but keeping my mill in check was like a circus act, and my aunties are gossips to their cores. Once, during a family barbecue, Talia spilled cola on my sundress, and Tom accidentally pours water over her head while talking to Sill as they walked past. It was like a cold war, and as of right now, we finally seem to be winning. I got a message saying that Talia coming to my weddings was comparable to Camilla going to Diana and Charles' wedding, and now that I look back at it, it kind of was. Only, Talia will always be the XXD. If Mill or Talia does something, I'll be sure to come back. So hopefully it doesn't happen again.

Thank you all for your support. Next story, boyfriend tried to propose at our best friend's wedding but I stopped him in front of everyone. Then he ignored me for the rest of the night and said I ruined everything by rejecting I, F-26, and my boyfriend, M25, attended a mutual friend's wedding. They're very close friends to us and brought my boyfriend and I together. My boyfriend and I are coming up on our three-year anniversary and things were getting pretty serious. Enough so that I very much wanted to marry him. He's sweet, chatty, typically considerate and empathetic. He's the person who I thought was the first to show me what a truly healthy

and compassionate relationship was like. He's very serious about us too. We've had long talks about marriage and it seemed we were in agreement with no formal declaration. We had even gotten as far as looking at rings. So the chance of a proposal was more of a when not if. A few weeks before the wedding, us and the engaged couple at the time were hanging out. The topic of weddings was very prevalent and my boyfriend had cracked a joke about proposing at our friend's wedding. The to-be groom joked back and said that it'd be funny as hell. This was followed by me and the to be bride both shutting it down, trying to be serious but also not thinking he was serious. He was. During the reception, everyone had made their speeches

and people were getting their food. While our table was waiting, my boyfriend went up to the DJ, and after, they played my boyfriend and I's favorite song to scream sing in the car together, story of my life by one direction. I look at him, smiling and he's looking around. All of a sudden he grabs a fork, stands up and begins clanging on a glass. Immediately the whole dining room looks over. I stand up and whisper the words not. Right.

Now. His face drops and he yells a mix of I'm sorry, I was just joking. After he sat back down I verbatim said let them have their moment, let's make this our own. He wouldn't even look at me. When it was time to get our food, he immediately goes toward the exit. I follow and tried to catch up to him but couldn't find him. I text him twice and call him a couple times, but got no answer, so I went back to the reception. After not hearing from him for about an hour and a half or so, he returns, sits down, and doesn't even look at me.

The rest of the night was terrible. He looked like his dog just died and I'm trying to make the best out of the night, but felt like I was just in his shadow. I was prepping for a breakdown or maybe a fight in the car, but the only thing he said was I don't want to talk about it right now. And the drive was just quiet and awkward. He sent me a long text about how hard it was to get the ring, how he felt rejected by his closest person and that I embarrassed him. I tried to explain that it's not that I didn't want to marry him. It was our best friend's wedding and they deserve their moment, that we should create our own and not piggyback off theirs. He got offended and said that if I wanted to marry him, I wouldn't have stopped his proposal in front of everybody. This situation perplexes me. I've never seen the appeal of proposing at someone else's wedding

and tried to handle the situation in a way that I felt was calm and chill. But he's very adamant that I ruined the proposal, made him look like an asshole, and thus I'm the asshole. Am I missing something? Should I admit I was wrong and have just let his proposal go at our friend's wedding? Update, hi all, this is an update. I responded to a few comments but before proceeding with our convo, I read almost every comment hoping to gain new perspectives

and see the situation I presented from a different light. After I got home from the wedding, my boyfriend, and I texted back and forth. After he went to bed, I made my post because I absolutely felt like an asshole. I was second-guessing everything and thought the night would have gone better if I had just let him do his thing. After seeing the responses to my post, I'm more solidified in that I made the right decision. Yes, the night was ruined, but I'd be more comfortable with my life moving forward. I gave my boyfriend and myself a day to think about this and come back with you. clearer heads. That was yesterday. I took a lot of people's advice and tried to reflect on

if this behavior was a grand showing of any smaller reaction. The stonewalling isn't super new. In fights at the start of our relationship, he would get quiet and make a small showing of secluding himself. I'd counter this by giving my boyfriend his space and telling him that moving forward, to just say he didn't have the words to talk about it and we can reconvene when we're ready to talk. This worked for us. It gave him time to choose his words, we'd have a good discussion of what went wrong and how we could fix it moving forward. I didn't think that he was overtly trying to make me feel worse by the silent treatment back

then. However, ignoring me for the rest of our time at the wedding hurts so much. Not even saying, I just need space right now, and rejecting to hold my hand by pulling away felt like he was pseudo-counter rejecting me. This was a first. I felt like he was trying to make me feel worse through his lack of a lack of communication. That's all I noticed. I've had a partner be verbally abusive to me before and another who wasn't willing to talk about things they did wrong, refusing to take any blame.

My boyfriend hasn't done any of that. I'm not saying I recognize all patterns of abuse, but I'd say I'm versed in a few. There's also been no real history of me catering to him constantly as others were asking. If either person had strong feelings one way or another in different scenarios, we'd often be fine with that person getting their way. Otherwise, if we both didn't care all that much, he loves to use a will-spinning website to make decisions and I think it's cute. We met earlier today. He came over and we sat in my living room. He broke down. He vehemently apologized and said he felt like an asshole. He said he had been reflecting all of yesterday and talking to his dad about the situation. His dad got mad at him and talked him off.

his ego crash. His words, not mine. He had already sent a message to our friends, now flying to their honeymoon in West Europe, apologizing for making their most important day about him and for not properly celebrating them. I asked why he neglected our conversation from months before. He said that the groom and their group of friends had egged him on in private since, not to propose at the wedding, but to do it soon. He didn't originally plan on doing it at the wedding. He's had the ring with him for about a month, never had any real plan, and wanted it to just be spontaneous. He told me he got caught up in the atmosphere of the wedding, saw his best friend with his girl

and couldn't stop picturing us in the same scenario. His urge overran his common sense, in his terms, and he made a choice he ultimately wishes he could take back. It very much spiraled from there. I noted that while his heart was in the right place, that doesn't excuse the shitstorm he put me through after. I expressed to him that ignoring me really hurt me, that him saying my rejection to his proposal was the reason for his embarrassment and shutdown was unfair, especially since we had already established for him not to do that. He accepted this and continued to apologize,

admitting it was very unfair of him and that he should have handled his emotions and embarrassment better, especially towards me. We had a lull in our conversation after he asked, where do we go from here? At this point, I didn't want to just return back to normal. A day where I expressed to him that I felt the prettiest in a long time, expected us to have enormous fun and watch our best friends have their moment to shine turned into a day where I was crying in my room reading Reddit comments about how I should break up with him. I genuinely thought I was the asshole who should have just bit the bullet and accepted a proposal

in a way that I and others thought wasn't okay. I told him that if we were to move forward, he needed to seek a therapist to help him manage his emotions. Not only from this, but other signs that he may have a panic disorder. My mom works for a mental health clinic and has offered resources before. I said that I needed time to rebuild my trust in him. He understood and is going to seek mental health resources through my mom's clinic. Until then, we'll be on a week or so break with an open channel of communication. He's going to find appropriate channels to better himself, and I'm going to take myself on a mini vacation after the roller coaster that was this weekend. We did talk about what each other's ideal proposal was.

Something we should have talked about before the trigger was even pulled on it. I said that I didn't care for anything fancy. I just prefer it not to be public. He said that he wanted to make a grand showing of love to me and didn't care where or how. He asked if it was okay to have friends and family present or if that broke my public rule. I said that was fine and was happy with the communicative compromise. I also stated that I didn't want to be proposed to for a while so that we could let this situation rest and figure ourselves out from here. He accepted this. Something I thought was really sweet that I wanted to mention was that before he left, he said, I do think I owe you some dancing. And so we slow danced in my living room for about a half hour until he left. A small and

romantic action, propped to earn brownie points, but the conversation did reassure me that he's willing to try and be better. He recognized he was in the wrong and that a joyful day was robbed by pride and not rejection. This was about as ideal of an outcome as I'd hoped. Thank you all for taking time out of your days to reply and bring me back to Earth. Thank you to those who messaged me in private to make sure I was okay or to give input. While the future is still obscure, it's a little clearer than it was a couple days ago. I have a clearer understanding now of what I want and what's healthy. Moving forward, I will do every ounce of weighing before I enter what should be the most important commitment you can make to a person you love and I'll keep a more careful eye on his behaviors and how he may react to adverse situations.

I hope the best for you all as many have for me.