Reddit Stories - Mother ATTEMPTED to withhold my higher EDUCATION savings until I provided academic ASSISTANCE

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #familydrama #education #savings #academicassistanceSummary: My mother attempted to withhold my higher education savings until I provided academic assistance.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, familydrama, education, savings, academicassistance, mother, highereducation, financial, manipulation, support, conflict, parenting, college, university, assistanceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Mother attempted to withhold my higher education savings until I provided academic assistance to my stepbrother, who is 24 years old. However, the legal representative of my father revealed that she had been residing unlawfully in his residence and possessed no entitlements to do so. My money. My parents got divorced when I was eight and it was actually pretty amicable considering how these things usually go.

My dad, 48M, makes decent. money. My mom, 45F, was a psalm during their marriage and had to go back to work after the divorce doing office admin stuff. The thing about my parents is that even though they split up they never really fought about custody or money or anything. Dad set up this college fund for me right after I was born and kept contributing to it even after the divorce. It's got like $50,000 in it now which isn't enough for four years at a fancy school but it's enough for state university which is where I want to go anyway. When I was 10 my mom married my stepdad, 52M, and that's when everything started getting weird with family dynamics. My stepdad brought

his son from his previous marriage, my stepbrother who's 24 now but was 16 when they got married. And here's the thing about my stepbrother, he's just, useless. Like I hate saying that about someone but he dropped out of high school at 16 and has never had a job. Not even like a fast food job or He just sits in his room playing video games and smoking weed all day while his dad and my mom pay for everything. My mom has always been the type of person who tries to fix everyone and make everything okay for everybody. Like growing up she would always prioritize other people's problems over mine. If I needed help with homework but my stepbrother was having some kind of drama with his friends or whatever, she'd spend hours dealing with his stuff while I just

figured out my own problems. If I wanted to do extracurriculars that cost money, she'd say we couldn't afford it but then turn around and buy my stepbrother expensive gaming equipment or shoes or whatever he wanted. I learned pretty early to just not ask for much and to handle my own stuff. Which is fine, I guess, it made me more independent, but it also means I don't really have that close relationship with my mom that other kids have. She's always been more like a concerned neighbor than an actual parent if that makes sense. So anyway, fast forward to now, I'm 18 and just graduated high school. I got into State University for fall semester and I was so excited to finally get out of this house and start my own life.

I'd been working part-time since I was 16 and saved up money for books and living expenses and stuff. My dad and I went through all the financial aid paperwork and college fund stuff back in February and everything was set up perfectly. Then last week my mom sits me down for this family meeting which already made me suspicious because we never do feel. family meetings. My stepdad and stepbrother were there too, which made it even weirder. And my mom starts going on about how family means supporting each other and how we all need to help each other succeed and I'm just sitting there like, okay, where is this going? Then she says that she's been thinking about my stepbrother's future and how he's been struggling

to find direction in life, struggling? He's been sitting on his ass for eight years, and she thinks it would be really good for our family if I postponed starting college this fall to help tutor him so he can get his GED and eventually apply to college too. I literally thought she was joking at first. I was like, Mom, what are you talking about? I start classes in six weeks, and she goes on about how my stepbrother learns better with one-on-one instruction

and how it would be such a great bonding experience for us as siblings and how I'm so smart and good at explaining things that I could really make a difference in his life. And then, and this is the part that made me realize she was completely serious. She tells me that she's going to hold off on releasing my college fun money until my stepbrother catches up to me academically so we can both start college at the same time. Like we're fucking five years old or something. I asked her if she was serious and

she said yes. She thought it would be beautiful if we could support each other through our educational journeys together. My stepdad is nodding along like this makes perfect sense. My stepbrother is just sitting there playing on his phone not even paying attention to this conversation about his own future. I told her absolutely not. I told her I've been planning for college for years, I already enrolled, I already made commitments, and I'm not putting my entire life on hold for someone who couldn't even be bothered to finish high school. My stepbrother finally looked up from his phone and was like, wow, thanks for the support in this sarcastic way and I just lost it. I was like you want support? You've been living in this house rent-free for eight

years while your dad and my mom pay for everything you want. You've never had a job, you don't help with household stuff, you don't contribute anything to this family except drama and expenses. Why should I sacrifice my future so you can finally do the bare minimum that most people do when they're teenagers? My mom got all upset and said I was being cruel and we are supposed to help each other and that my stepbrother has been struggling with motivation issues and depression. And I said, okay, fine, then he can get therapy and figure his own stuff out like everyone else has to do. I'm not his mother and I'm not his tutor and I'm definitely not postponing my education to fix his life for him. The whole thing turned into this huge

fight with my stepdad saying I was being ungrateful and my mom crying about how she just wants everyone to succeed. My stepbrother went back to his room without saying anything else because God forbid he actually participate in a conversation about his own life. I called my dad right after and told him everything. He was quiet for a really long time and then he said she can't do that and I was like, what do you mean she can't do that? She controls the college fund money right now. And he said actually no she doesn't, not anymore. Apparently when I turned 18 the fund automatically transferred to my control. My mom only had temporary custodial access to manage it while I was a minor. So now I don't know what to do. My mom is acting like this is all

settled and keeps talking about curriculum plans for tutoring my stepbrother. She bought a bunch of GED prep books and cleared out the dining room to make it into a study space. My stepdad keeps making comments about how nice it's going to be when his son finally gets an education and starts contributing to society. But my dad is pissed. Like really, really pissed. He told me he didn't save money for 18 years just so my mom could use it as leverage to fix her stepson's life. He said he's going to call his lawyer on Monday to make sure my mom can't interfere with my college plans. I feel so guilty, though, because my mom seems genuinely convinced that this is the right thing to do for our family. Like she really believes that if I just

sacrifice two years of my life, everything will work out great for everyone. But I also feel like she's never prioritized my needs before, so why should I let her do it now? And honestly, I don't think my stepbrother even wants to go to college. He's never shown any interest in school or learning or doing anything that requires effort. I think my mom and stepdad just want to feel like they didn't completely fail as parents, mom's step-parent, by letting him waste his entire adult life so far. I don't know. Maybe I'm being selfish.

Maybe good siblings would put their family first. But I've been taking care of myself and working toward my goals for years and I just can't understand why I should give that up for someone who's never shown any initiative to help himself. Anyway, sorry for the novel. I just needed to write this all out somewhere. Update, okay, so I posted a few days ago about my mom trying to make me postpone college to tutor my useless stepbrother and a bunch of you said my dad needed to get involved legally.

Well, he did. And it's been fucking crazy. So Monday morning my dad called his lawyer first thing. I guess he was even more pissed about this whole situation than I realized because he didn't just ask about the college fund. He asked the lawyer to review the entire divorce settlement and see what else my mom might be overstepping on. Turns out my mom has been living in my dad's house this whole time. Like the house I grew up in that I thought my mom owned? It's actually still in my dad's name and it is his.

Apparently in their divorce agreement she got to live there until I turned 18 while giving child support or graduated high school so I could have stability, but she was supposed to move out after that. And there was some clause about if she remarried she would forfeit the housing rights, but my dad never enforced it because he didn't want to disrupt my living situation. So my dad's lawyer sent my mom this cease and desist letter on Tuesday demanding that she immediately release all access to my college fund and also informing her that she had 30 days to vacate the house because her custodial housing period was over now that I'm 18 and graduated. My mom called me sobbing, like hysterically crying about how my dad was trying to make her homeless and how could I let him do this to our family?

And I was like, Mom, you tried to stop my college money. What did you expect was going to happen? She kept saying she wasn't stopping it. She was just holding it for the good of the family, and I was like that's literally what stopping means. My stepdad came home from work that day and absolutely lost his mind when he found out about the eviction notice. Apparently, he had no idea that they didn't actually own the house.

My mom had been telling him for years that she got the house in the divorce settlement. So not only is he finding out they have to move, he's finding out his wife has been lying to him about their living situation their entire marriage. The screaming match between my mom and stepdad was insane. He was yelling about how he never would have married her if he knew she didn't actually have any assets and she was crying about how she thought my dad would never kick us out because of me. My stepbrother came out of his room for once to see what all the noise was about and when they

explained it to him he had a complete meltdown about how his stable living situation was being destroyed and how was he supposed to focus on getting his GED if he didn't even know where he was going to live. I was like, dude, you've had eight years to get your GED and you chose to play video games instead. Maybe don't blame everyone else for your lack of planning. My dad came over Wednesday night to talk to me about college stuff and my mom tried to corner him about the house situation. She was begging him to let them stay longer and saying it wasn't fair to punish my stepdad and stepbrother for her mistakes. My dad was actually pretty calm about it. He just said the divorce agreement was clear and he'd given her three extra years to figure

out her housing situation because of me. But now that I'm an adult it was time for her to honor the original terms. My stepdad was lurking in the hallway listening to this conversation and he comes storming out yelling about how it's not right that my mom's ex-husband still has control over their living situation and how my dad is a asshole who's trying to destroy their family. My dad just looked at him and said you've been living in my house rent-free for eight years while your son contributed nothing to the household, maybe show some gratitude instead of entitlement. It was honestly the most backbone I've ever seen my dad's show and I was kind of

proud of him for not letting them walk all over him anymore. So now my mom and stepdad are scrambling to find a place to live and my stepbrother is having daily panic attacks about having to actually face real world responsibilities. My mom keeps trying to guilt-trip me about how this is all my fault for turning my father against them but like. She did this to herself by trying to steal my college money. My dad helped me finish all my enrollment paperwork and I'm definitely starting at State University in the fall. He also said he's going to set up an additional trust fund with some of the money from selling the house and this one will have extra legal protection so my mom can never touch it under any circumstances. I still feel kind of bad about my mom's

situation but also she made her choices. She chose to prioritize my stepbrother over me for years, she chose to try to steal my college fund, and she chose to lie to her husband about major financial stuff. These are the consequences of those choices. Anyway, I'm mostly just relieved that I don't have to spend two years of my life trying to force education into someone who doesn't want it. I've got orientation next month and I'm so excited to finally start my actual life. Update, the house went on the market last week and already has multiple offers over asking price. My dad seems pretty happy about it. Update 2.

It's been like four months since my last update and I don't even know where to start with all this drama. So my mom and stepdad had to move out of my dad's house back in September after the 30 days' notice was up. They could only afford this tiny two-bedroom apartment like 40 minutes away from my school. I moved into the dorms in January for spring semester, thank God. The apartment is seriously tiny. like my stepbrother has to sleep on the living room couch. All his gaming equipment barely fit and he was constantly complaining about not having enough space for his setup.

My mom and stepdad were sharing one bedroom and I get the other room when I visit, but it was smaller than a closet basically. My stepdad was not handling the downgrade well. He kept making comments about how they went from a nice three-bedroom house to a cramped apartment and how it was my mom's fault for not getting more money in the divorce. He also had to actually start paying rent for the first time in years. Stepdad makes barely minimum wage at his retail job, so the rent was taking up most of his paycheck. My mom had to get a second job waitressing on weekends just to help cover expenses.

She was working her regular office job Monday through Friday and then serving tables at some family restaurant Saturday and Sunday. She was exhausted all the time and stressed about money constantly. But here's the thing that really started causing problems. My stepdad started blaming my mom for misrepresenting her financial situation when they got married. He kept saying stuff like I thought I was marrying someone who actually owned property and if I knew you were this broke I never would have proposed. Which is just gross. Like he married her when she had a nice living situation and now that it's gone he's acting like she tricked him.

My stepbrother was also being a nightmare about the whole situation. instead of like getting a job or doing anything productive, he just complained constantly about how his life was ruined and how he couldn't focus on bettering himself in such a stressful environment. He kept bringing up how if my mom had just given him my college money instead of trying to make me tutor him, he could have moved out and started school by now. Which is insane because, one, that money was never hers to give and two, he's 24 fucking years old. If he wanted to go to college he could have done it any time in the last eight years instead of sitting around waiting for someone else to fix his life.

Meanwhile, my dad sold his house in December for like 30,000 over asking price because the market was really good. He bought another smaller property closer to his work and used some of the profit to set up that additional trust fund he promised me. This one has even more legal protections and my mom literally cannot touch it under any circumstances. He also increased my monthly allowance for college expenses which has been amazing because I can actually focus on school

instead of working as many hours. My mom barely talks to me anymore. When I was still living with them in the fall, she would just give me these hurt looks all the time like I was personally responsible for destroying her marriage. When I tried to talk to her about school or my classes, she'd just make comments about how nice it must be to be able to pursue my education while her family was falling apart.

I moved into the dorms in January and honestly it was the best decision I ever made. I'm doing really well in my classes. I made friends, I joined some clubs, and I don't have to deal with the constant tension and drama at my mom's apartment. I go visit sometimes but it's always uncomfortable because everyone their acts like I'm the villain in their story. Oh and my stepbrother still hasn't start preparing foe his GED. He talks about it sometimes like it's this huge goal he's working toward but he hasn't actually done anything about it. My mom bought him all those prep books back in the summer and I don't think he's opened a single one. He just keeps making excuses.

about how he can't concentrate because of the living situation or he needs different study materials or he's waiting for the right time to start. I think my mom is finally starting to realize that her plan to fix my stepbrother was never going to work no matter what sacrifices she made. But instead of admitting that she just doubles down and acts like everyone else failed him instead of him failing himself. Anyway, that's the update. I'm doing great in college and actually really love it. My dad and I have gotten a lot closer since all this happened. My mom's life is kind of a mess, but like, she made these choices. I just hope she figures out eventually that you can't save people who don't want to be saved.

Update 3. I wasn't planning to update, but Jesus Christ this situation just keeps getting worse and I needed to tell someone about it. So my stepdad filed for divorce from my mom last month. Apparently six months of actually having to pay rent and deal with financial stress while living in a cramped apartment was enough for him to decide that marriage wasn't worth it anymore. My mom is absolutely devastated. Like I've never seen her this heartbroken, not even when she and my dad got divorced. She really thought she and my stepdad were going to be together forever and she's been calling me crying about how he's abandoning her when she needs him most.

The thing is, though, he's not wrong to be upset about the financial stuff. My mom basically lied to him about her situation for their entire relationship. relationship. She let him think she owned the house. She never told him that my dad was still financially supporting her in a way, and she never explained how precarious their living situation actually was. My stepdad told people that my mom misrepresented her assets during their marriage and that he feels like she deceived him about what kind of life they could build together. Which? I mean, yeah, she kind of did. But also he was perfectly happy to live off my dad's money, child support, and no rent for eight years so his moral outrage feels a little fake to me.

But here's the really fucked up part, my stepbrother has completely turned on my mom now. Instead of being grateful that she tried to sacrifice my future to help him, he's blaming her for ruining his chances at getting an education. He keeps saying she should have just stolen my college money outright instead of trying to make me tutor him, because then at least he would have gotten something out of it. They've been having these screaming matches where he accuses her of being too weak to stand up to my dad and get what the family needed. He says she should have fought harder for the house and the money and that her being too nice is why his life is falling apart.

It's honestly scary how angry he gets. My mom tries to defend herself by saying she was just trying to do right by everyone and keep us together, but my stepbrother doesn't want to hear it. He told her that she's a failure as a stepmother because she couldn't even provide basic stability for him, which is rich coming from someone who's never contributed a single dollar to household expenses. My stepdad moved out two weeks ago and took everything that was his including furniture and kitchen stuff. My mom had to scramble to replace basic things like dishes and a coffee maker because apparently most of that stuff belonged to him.

She's working three jobs now trying to afford the apartment by herself, her regular office job, weekend waitressing, and she picked up some evening cleaning work. She had to sell her car because she couldn't afford the insurance and gas on top of rent and utilities. Now she takes the bus everywhere which adds like an hour to her commute each way. She looks exhausted every time I see her on calls or when I could visit and she's lost a lot of weight because she's too stressed to eat regularly. My stepbrother is still unemployed and still living with her. He keeps talking about how he's going to move out soon and get his own place but he has no money, no job, no car, and no realistic plans. He just plays video games all day and complains about how his

dad abandoned him and how my mom ruined his life. I almost feel bad for my mom at this point. Like she made really bad choices and tried to sacrifice my future for someone who didn't deserve it. But seeing her work three jobs to support someone who just takes and takes and never gives anything back is kind of heartbreaking. She finally apologized to me last week. She called me crying and said she realizes now that she was wrong to try to postpone my college and that she's sorry for prioritizing my stepbrothers' needs over mine. She said watching him blame everyone else for his problems while she works herself to death trying to keep him housed and fed has made her understand that some people just don't want to be helped. I don't know if I'm ready to forgive her

yet, but it was good to hear her actually acknowledge what she did wrong. It's the first time in my whole life that she's ever admitted she made a mistake with family stuff. My dad has been keeping an the situation and he offered to help my mom find a cheaper place to live but she said no because she's too proud to take charity from her ex-husband which i get i guess but like girl you are drowning maybe swallow your pride and accept some help anyway i'm finishing up my freshman year and doing really well it's crazy to think that a year ago my mom wanted me to give all this up to babysit my stepbrother speaking of my stepbrother he still hasn't done shit about getting his GED. Those prep books my mom bought are literally collecting dust on a shelf. Every time anyone

asks him about it, he has a new excuse. At this point, I think everyone is given up on pretending he's ever going to do anything productive with his life. Update 4. Okay, so I thought the drama was over, but apparently my family is just a never-ending shit show because now my stepbrother has literally committed fraud and my mom's life is completely destroyed. This happened a few weeks ago, but I'm just now processing it enough to write about it. My mom called me crying hysterically and I couldn't understand what she was saying at first. Eventually I figured out that my stepbrother

had stolen her credit cards and racked up over $15,000 in debt. Apparently he'd been using her cards for months without her knowing. He was ordering expensive stuff online like gaming equipment and designer clothes and getting it delivered to friends' addresses so my mom wouldn't see the packages.

He also used the cards to take Uber everywhere instead of like, learning to drive or getting a job like a normal person. My mom didn't realize what was happening until she tried to buy groceries and her card got declined. When she checked her statements, she saw all these charges she didn't recognize and at first she thought it was just regular credit card fraud. But then she saw some of the delivery addresses and realized there were places her stepson had been hanging out. By the time she figured it out he'd already disappeared. Like literally just vanished one day while she was at work. None of his few friends claimed to know where he went and he's not answering his phone.

He just took whatever stuff he could carry and left my mom to deal with the financial disaster he created. My mom had to file a police report for credit card fraud against her own stepson, which was apparently humiliating and heartbreaking for her. She kept saying she felt like she failed him as a parental figure and that she should have seen the warning signs. Which like? The warning signs were that he's been a selfish piece of shit his entire adult life. I don't know what else she expected. The credit card companies are holding her responsible for most of the debt because she didn't report the fraud quickly enough. She tried to explain that she didn't know they were stolen because it was a family member using them, but they basically said that's her

problem to figure out. So now my mom has $15,000 in credit card debt on top of all her regular expenses and she literally cannot afford it. She had to move out of her apartment and into this tiny studio that's even smaller and cheaper. She also had to give up her bus pass and now she walks everywhere or gets rides from coworkers when the weather is really bad. She filed for bankruptcy last month, which was apparently really difficult. She had to go through all her finances with lawyers and prove that she couldn't pay back the debt. The whole process made her feel like a failure even though this isn't really her fault. She's working three jobs now just to keep her studio apartment and afford basic groceries. She looks terrible every time I see her,

like she's aged five years in the past few months. She's lost even more weight and her hair is starting to go gray from the stress. My bio dad has been helping her out a little bit by giving her rides and stuff, but he's not giving her money because he says she needs to learn to handle her own financial situation. Which sounds harsh, but I think he's right. She spent so many years letting other people make financial decisions for her that she never learned to be truly independent. Oh, and there's a small update about what happened to my stepbrother. Apparently he got arrested a few months ago in another state for credit card fraud. I guess my mom's cards weren't the only ones he stole. He served like eight months in jail and got released.

least recently, but he never paid back any of the money he stole from my mom and he's completely cut off contact with her. My former stepdad remarried someone else and from what I hear he acts like my mom and stepbrother never existed in his life, which is probably for the best honestly. Anyway, that's the final update, I think. My mom's life is pretty much ruined, but she's slowly rebuilding and she finally understands that she can't fix other people's problems for them. I feel bad for her situation, but I'm also relieved that I'm not part of that drama anymore. College is amazing and I'm so glad I didn't let anyone talk me out of pursuing my education. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I'd given into the pressure and spent two years

trying to tutor my stepbrother. He probably would have learned nothing, wasted two years of my life, and then stolen from me too eventually. At least this way only my mom got screwed over by trusting someone who didn't deserve it. Lesson learned, I guess, you can't help people who don't want to help themselves, and you definitely shouldn't sacrifice your own future for someone else's delusions about fixing broken people.