Reddit Stories - MOTHER-IN-LAW REQUESTED to come live with us after losing EVERYTHING, but when I

Episode Date: November 2, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #relationships #livingarrangements #financialcrisis #supportsystemSummary: A mother-in-law requested to come live with us after losing everything, but when I set boundaries, she accused me of being heartless and ungrateful. Now our relationship is strained, and I'm unsure how to move forward.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, familyconflict, inlawdrama, boundarysetting, financialstruggles, communicationissues, difficultrelationships, generationaldifferences, copingwithstress, emotionalchallenges, conflictresolution, familybonding, supportnetwork, personalboundaries, challengingconversations, rebuildingtrustBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Mother-in-law requested to come live with us after losing everything, but when I declined, my spouse began arguing about it. I am a 32-year-old female married to a 34-year-old man. Year-old man, and I'm having a massive conflict with my mother-in-law, let's call her Susan, 67, over her living situation. This is a throwaway account because my family is active on Reddit. Also, sorry this is long, but I think contact

is important. Background, my mills Susan has had a gambling problem for years, long before I married her son. It wasn't always obvious to me at first, she used to play it off as casual bingo nights or harmless trips to the casino with friends. But over the years, it escalated into a full-blown addiction. Early in my relationship with my husband, I learned that Susan had a history of financial irresponsibility. She'd racked up credit card debt from online poker and lied about it. She even took out a second mortgage on her house years back to pay off a huge gambling loss. Her husband, my father-in-law, divorced her over this about a decade ago. My husband told me that when he was younger, he remembered bill collectors calling their house

because his mom would gamble away money meant for utilities. He has a lifelong habit of hiding any spare cash in a lockbox because as a teen he had to do that to prevent her from borrowing his savings. I only learned all of this gradually. When I first started dating my husband, he was upfront that his mom was bad with money, but I didn't grasp the severity until I saw it firsthand. Early in our marriage, we had an incident where Susan borrowed $2,000 from my husband's personal savings, which we never saw again.

She was supposedly going to use it for a medical bill she was behind on, and he felt guilty and gave it to her without telling me at first. I found out later that was a lie, there was no medical bill. She blew it at a riverboat casino within a week. I was furious and insisted we establish a firm boundary that we do not give her money anymore. My husband agreed, albeit reluctantly, because he has a blind spot when it comes to his mom. She raised him as a single mother after the divorce, and he feels a deep sense of obligation to take care of her. I understand wanting to help your mom, but Susan absolutely takes advantage of that guilt.

Over the years, there have been so many incidents that it's impossible to list them all. Susan ruined her credit by taking out credit cards to get cash advances for slot machines. She missed our wedding rehearsal dinner because she wandered into the casino at the hotel and lost track of time. I remember being appalled, and my fiancé, now husband, making excuses that she probably just got distracted. We later found out she lost $500 that evening playing Blackjack instead of joining the family dinner. Another time, she offered to watch our dog while we went on a weekend trip, and when we got home Sunday night, Susan wasn't at our house and our dog was missing.

We panicked, only to find she had left to go to the casino, leaving our back door unlocked, and the dog had gotten out. Thankfully, a neighbor found our pup, that was one of the worst fights I've had with my mill, I told her she was irresponsible and could have gotten our pet killed. She actually had the gall to make herself the victim, saying she just needed a little me time at the casino and that I was overreacting because nothing bad happened in the end. Susan's gambling has strained her relationships with everyone. My husband has an older brother, my bill, who completely cut contact with her two years ago after she stole his wife's jewelry to pawn for cash. Yes, that happened, at a family barbecue, my sister-in-law took off her wedding and engagement rings to help in the kitchen. they were expensive and she didn't want them getting gunk on them.

The rings disappeared. Later it came out that Susan snatched them off the counter and pawned them that very day for a few hundred bucks to gamble. My Bill only recovered them after paying the pawn shop himself. After that, Bill and his wife said Susan was no longer welcome in their home. Susan's response was to accuse them of abandoning their own mother, and she still bad-mouthed them to us for being dramatic and ungrateful. Given all this history, you can imagine why I have strong boundaries with Susan. I have never trusted her with keys to my home, our finances, anything. My husband knows how I feel, and for a while he was on the same page that we wouldn't enable her.

We even tried to get her to go to therapy or gamblers anonymous. She went once to a GA meeting, came back saying everyone there was a loser and that she wasn't like those people, and refused to continue. According to her, she doesn't have a real problem. She firmly believes she's just one good jackpot away from solving everything. It's magical thinking, and you can't reason with her when she's in casino mode. Fast forward to this past month. Susan made the incredibly reckless decision to sell her house, the home my husband and his brother grew up in.

She claimed she sold it because the market was great and she wanted to downsize. Well, she downsized all right, straight into a house. a series of casino trips. She walked away with around $180,000 from that sale. The house was mostly paid off. That money evaporated in a matter of months. She went on gambling vendors at multiple casinos, even flew to Vegas twice. When she started dodging questions about where she was living, she vaguely said she was staying with a friend, which I doubt, we pieced together what happened. She finally admitted she has no money left. No house, no savings, nothing. Unsurprisingly, the friend she stayed with kicked her out when she couldn't pay rent.

Essentially, Susan made herself homeless by selling her paid off home to fuel her addiction. Now she expects to move in with us, me and my husband, in our three-bedroom house. We don't have kids, thankfully, given the current chaos, so yes, we have a guest room. but I have zero desire to let Susan live in my home. The last few years I've kept her at arm's length for my own sanity. I can tolerate her in small doses, like seeing her at Christmas or the occasional birthday, and even then she usually asks for a loan or tries to get us to go to the casino with her. For the record, I do not gamble at all, and my husband will play low-stakes poker maybe once a year

with friends, he's not into it either, I always shut down her money requests. When Susan first broached the idea of staying with us until she could get back on her feet, I shut it down immediately. I said no. Hard no. I might have been less blunt if her track record were different, but given everything, I didn't even have to think about it. My stance was that her gambling mess is her responsibility, and she needs to find her own solution that isn't moving into our home.

We are not a rehab center or an ATM. She did not take it well. She cried, yelled, and begged. She tried guilt trips, asking if I even care that she'll be on the street and how I could do this to my own mill, the whole nine yards. I stayed firm. I told her we will help her look for affordable apartments or a short-term rental, and in a moment of weakness I even offered to chip in for a couple weeks at a cheap motel if it came

to that, but absolutely not under our roof. I know how that would go, she'd freeload, wreak havoc, and never leave. My husband was not on the same page, and this has led to major fights between us. He feels guilty because, well, she's his mom and she literally has nowhere else safe to go now, she's burned bridges with pretty much everyone. He argues that it's just temporary and that we can keep firm rules if she stays with us. Like absolutely no gambling, I have no idea how we'd enforce that unless we put her on literal lockdown.

He promises we won't give her money, and he suggests maybe being with us will help her back on track. I told him that's extremely naive. Susan doesn't actually want help recovering. She wants access to resources and a safety net so she can continue her behavior. She's only asking to move in now because she's depleted every other option. We had one especially nasty argument last week where I basically said I don't trust your mother in my house. I reminded him of the dog incident, the stolen rings, the money she took from him, all of it. I had I admit I was very harsh. I basically told him his mother is a liar and a thief and if he lets her in, she will destroy what little is left of her life and probably try to take us down with her.

He was extremely upset at me for calling his mom a thief, even though she literally is. He said I was dredging up old stuff and being unfair, that people can change. I pointed out she hasn't changed one bit, in fact, this is the worst she's ever been. It's been a cold war at home since then. Susan is staying in a motel for now, which I suspect my husband might be secretly paying for, a whole other issue. She keeps calling him, crying about how miserable she is, how ungrateful I am, and how she has no family support. She's very good at playing the victim. My husband has asked me at least three more times to reconsider, and I keep saying no.

It got to the point where I told him if he moves her and against my wishes, I will consider that a betrayal of our trust. He got very upset that I even used that word, but I needed him to know how serious I was. I absolutely feel like my home would no longer be my safe space with her in it. I'd be constantly anxious about what she's up to under our roof. Yesterday, I got a call from my sister-in-law, Bill's wife, the one whose rings were stolen. She usually stays out of our business, but she heard from Susan, who called her sobbing, that I refused to help. My sill said she understood why I'm hesitant, but still suggested that maybe I let Susan stay for a short while since she is family and desperate. I then told Sil the full story, including that Susan sold her house and

blew $180,000 gambling. My sill was shocked and said that if that was all true, then Susan is beyond anything she can handle either. She ultimately agreed it's probably a bad idea for Susan to live with us given the chaos she brings. Still, this whole situation has me feeling isolated. My own family supports my decision. My parents half jokingly said they disown me if I ever let someone like that into my house. But my husband is very hurt, and Susan is spreading a narrative that I'm a cruel daughter-in-law who hates her and wants to see her suffer. I know I probably sound very callous.

It is honestly sad that her life has come to this, but I firmly believe you reaping. what you sow, she had a stable home and plenty of money, and she gambled it all away. She refuses any genuine help for her addiction. My priority is protecting my home and marriage from her destructive behavior, not setting myself on fire to keep her warm. At this point, my husband is sleeping on the couch because we can't agree on this. He thinks I'm being too hard and lacking empathy. I think he's blinded by guilt and setting us up for a nightmare. I've told him plainly I will not live with his mother. If he moves her in, I will move out, likely to my parents' place. That's how serious this is for me. He said it's cruel of me to make him choose between his mother and his wife.

I countered that his mother created this mess, not me, and I shouldn't have to light myself on fire to solve it. So, I'd offer refusing to let my mill move in after she effectively made herself homeless by selling her house to fund her gambling? Update 1. I really did not expect to be updating this soon, but wow did things escalate quickly. Just two days after my original post, Susan effectively moved herself into our house behind my back. I was at work on Monday, and apparently that's when my husband and Susan decided to execute their little plan. When I got home that evening, I put my key in the front door and it didn't work. I honestly thought I was losing my mind for a second. I tried it over and over, but nope, they had changed the locks on my house without my knowledge.

I started pounding on the door, and guess who opens it? Susan. She had the biggest smug smile and chirped something about how she changed all the locks today for security reasons. I was seeing red. I pushed past her, asking where my husband was. He wasn't home yet, still driving back from work, I later learned. So I'm standing in my own foyer, realizing my mother-in-law has moved into my guest room,

changed my locks, and effectively locked me out of my own home, all with my husband's apparent blessing. I confronted Susan right then and there. I demanded to know what the hell she was thinking. She had already dragged all her suitcases and crap into our spare bedroom and even had the audacity to start rearranging things. She told me to calm down and said I shouldn't be upset because she was helping us by securing the house from intruders. I told her she had no right. Her response was basically that my husband, her son, allowed it, so I should take it up with him. She actually called me paranoid for being upset that she changed my locks, saying that she was the one who felt unsafe with the old locks.

The gall of this woman is unbelievable. I told her this was my house too, and she has zero authority to do anything to it, let alone change the damn locks. When my husband finally got home in the middle of this confrontation, things got even more heated. I unloaded on him, saying this was a massive betrayal of trust and exactly what I feared would happen. He defended his mom. He claimed they only changed the locks because Susan was worried about potential break-in since the neighborhood had a recent burglary.

For the record, our area is very safe and we haven't had any issues. And if he was truly concerned, he could have at least told me or talked it through, not unilaterally do it on a random afternoon. I yelled that I'm not buying that excuse for one second. The timing is way too convenient, since she did at the very moment she moved her stuff in. My husband then admitted that yes, he allowed her to move in while I was at work, because we needed to get this settled. He kept insisting he was going to talk to me about it that evening, sure, after the deed was

done. He tried to downplay it by saying he had already made her agree to some so-called house rules, like she will pay rent, I highly doubt I'll see a cent, and will not cover. trouble. I laughed in his face at that last part and asked how he plans to enforce anything when she's already doing whatever she wants. I told my husband in no uncertain terms that this was absolutely not okay, and that he had completely disregarded my feelings and our prior agreement. I reminded him I had literally said I'd consider it a betrayal if he moved her in, and here we are. He got defensive, saying he had no choice because she literally had nowhere else and would

end up on the street. I responded that was not an excuse to go behind my back and lock me out of my own home. I was boiling with anger, probably the angriest I've ever been in our marriage. I told them both that this was temporary and I'd be doing everything in my power to get her out ASAP. Susan rolled her eyes at that, which almost made me lose it. My husband begged me to calm down and said I was overreacting, oh, how I hate that word, and that his mom was just trying to help us by making the house safer. I shot back that it wasn't her place to do that, and if he actually believed that excuse, he's delusional. That night was absolute hell. I barely spoke another word to either of them after the screaming match died down.

I did retrieve a copy of the new house key, damn right I made sure I got my own key to my own house. Fun detail, Susan initially claimed she forgot to make me a copy. I had to demand it, and my husband handed one over while looking extremely guilty. I went to our bedroom, locked the door, and just, screamed in my pillow. I couldn't even look at either of them. As of now, Susan is officially moved into our guest room. She's acting like she lives here, and my husband is acting like everything is normal, aside from walking on eggshells around me. I haven't decided my exact next move yet. Part of me wanted to pack a bag and leave from my parents' house that night, but I didn't.

My parents, by the way, told me I can come stay with them any time if I need space. They are fully on my side that this is beyond messed up. For now, I'm staying put, if only because I'm too damn stubborn to be the one forced out of my own home. My plan is to consult a lawyer about my options if this continues, though I haven't told my husband that yet. So yeah, that's where we're at. My mill is living in my house against my will. My husband and I are barely talking, except for him meekly asking if I'm okay and trying to act like this will blow over. I am not okay. I am livid and heartbroken that he caved to her and went behind my back. This is exactly what I was afraid of. I wish he was. I wish he,

I wish I had happier news, but this is the reality. I appreciate everyone who told me I wasn't the asshole that gave me the backbone to stand my ground during that fight. At least I know I'm justified, even if my husband still doesn't get it. Update 2. It's been less than a week since my last update and surprise, Susan has turned my living room into a gambling den. I wish I were joking. A few days ago, I came home from work, early, thankfully, and walked in to a scene straight out of a bad comedy. Five strangers, middle-aged dudes I'd never seen in my life, were crowded around my dining table, playing poker. They had a whole setup, cards, poker chips, drinks, even cigar smoke in the air. And who was cheerfully dealing cards and acting like the

hostess? Susan. I about lost my mind on the spot. I didn't even bother with niceties. I said something along the lines of, what the hell is going on in here, and who are these people? Not an exact quote, but you get the idea of my volume. Susan had the nerve to act annoyed that I was interrupting her game, she said she was hosting a friendly poker night. I was so angry I actually laughed and told her this was not her house to be hosting anything, let alone a damn casino night.

The other people at the table looked super uncomfortable at that point as I basically read her the riot act. I found out that Susan had charged each of these guys an entry fee to join the game. Essentially, she was running a mini-casino night in my home for profit. She chirped that it was all to earn a little money to contribute for rent and groceries, to pay you back. As if that makes it okay to invite random gamblers into my house without permission. I was livid. I told the group that the party was over immediately and that they all needed to leave now. There was some of awkward shuffling and the men, wisely, gathered their cash and left without protest. I think they could tell I meant business and wasn't above calling the police if I had to.

One of them muttered an apology on the way out, so at least they had some decency. Susan, on the other hand, was furious at me for ruining her game. The moment those strangers were out the door, it was an all-out screaming match between me and my mill. I absolutely unloaded on her, saying that what she did was beyond outrageous. and disrespectful. I told her if I ever catch strangers in my house again, I will call the cops first and ask questions later. She started shrieking back that she was just trying to earn money to pay us back and that I should be grateful she's making an effort. I swear, her logic

is from another planet. I reminded her that I never wanted her here in the first place, and that playing wannabe casino in my living room is a fast track to getting thrown out on her ass. She screamed that I was ungrateful and that nothing she did was ever enough for me. It was ugly. I'll admit I let some not-so-nice words fly. I definitely called her a parasite and a leech to her face. My husband walked in the middle of this shouting match, great timing, right? He had gotten off work, so by the time he arrived the poker dudes were gone but I was yelling and Susan was crying angry tears. He was confused and tried to calm us down. He was confused and tried to calm us down, but I immediately told him what had happened. His mother turned our home into her personal

gambling parlor while we were out. To my surprise, he actually seemed pretty dumbfounded. He told Susan that was not okay and she shouldn't be inviting strangers over for poker. Finally, a hint of a backbone from him, perhaps? Susan started turning it around, sobbing that she was only doing it to get money to contribute because she felt guilty for freeloading. She actually dared to cast herself as the victim, saying she can't do anything right by me and she was just trying to help. I made it crystal clear that nobody asked her to help by breaking house rules. In fact, the only way she could help is by following our rules and not causing more chaos, which she utterly failed at. There was a lot of three-way arguing.

At one point I told my husband this is exactly the kind of crap I predicted what happened. I could see he was stuck between feeling angry at his mom and wanting to placate her. He ended up telling her firmly that there would be no more poker nights or any strangers over, period. She was to treat our home like a home, not a casino. She kept sniffling and saying fine, but also kept trying to justify it by repeating that she did it for us. I had to walk away from the conversation at that point because I was on the verge of blowing up again. I went to our bedroom to cool off. Later that night, my husband and I talked one-on-one.

I told him this is exactly what I was worried about, his mother not respecting any boundaries. He actually agreed that the poker thing was way out of line. I was like, great, so what are we going to do about it? I basically told him this cannot continue, and if she pulls something like that again, she's gone. He promised me he would talk to her and make sure it never happens again. I told him he better, because I'm one inch away from kicking her out myself. So, that's the latest.

Susan is still here, but there's a very tense ceasefire at the moment. She's been sulking ever since I shut down her poker party. I don't even care if she's mad, she should be ashamed of herself. Of course, she isn't. In her mind, she was just being enterprising and I'm the evil dill who stopped. I warned my husband that if one more insane incident happens, I'm going to take action. He knows I mean it. I can tell he's stressed and torn, but I refuse to bend on this. We'll see what happens next. At this point, I'm not even sure what to expect anymore,

because I never imagined my living room would turn into a speakeasy under my nose. It's been about two more weeks of walking on eggshells in my own house since the poker night fiasco. I was really hoping things would calm down. We laid down the law that Susan was a absolutely not to pull any more stunts. For a short while, she was actually quiet. No outings that I knew of, no visitors, mostly just sulking and staying in her room or watching TV. I started to think maybe she'd gotten the message. I should have known better. Addicts like her often find another way. And she sure did. This past weekend, Susan stole my husband's credit cards and went on a gambling binge. Here's how it went down. On Saturday, my husband noticed one of his credit cards

was missing from his wallet. Initially, he thought he might have misplaced it. While he was looking around for it, he got a text alert on his phone, the kind you get for suspicious credit card transactions. It was flagging a large charge at a casino in the next city over, about an hour away. He showed me the message, and we both just looked at each other, horrified. Immediately, Immediately, we realized Susan was nowhere to be found in the house. We tried calling her cell, no answer. It didn't take a genius to put two and two together. We ended up driving to the casino.

Yes, we literally got in the car and sped to the casino at 10 p.m. I was furious, and my husband was a wreck. We found Susan there, parked in front of a slot machine with a bucket of tokens, looking completely zoned out. I'll never forget my husband walking up to her. The disappointment and rage on his face were something I've never seen before. He quietly asked her to hand over the credit cards. Turns out she had taken two of his cards, his personal visa and a joint mastercard we used

for household stuff. At first she tried to play dumb, mumbling that she was going to tell him eventually. It was pathetic. Back in the car, I told her this was theft, plain and simple. My husband demanded to know how much she charged. Susan was sobbing at this point, saying she was sorry, but also trying to justify it. From what we gathered, she maxed out both cards, which combined as around $10,000 in limits. She took cash advances and chips and blew every dollar.

Her excuse? Susan claimed she needed money for an emergency, that emergency being that she was feeling desperate to win back the money she lost from selling her house. I cannot make this up. In her mind, this was a last-ditch heroic effort to hit a jackpot to repay everyone. She actually framed it like she was doing it for us. She kept blubbering that she fully intended to pay it back when she finally wins big. She's delusional. We all know that big win isn't coming, certainly not to the tune of $10,000 plus. My husband completely lost his temper on her, and I honestly just sat back and let him go off. He told her she betrayed his trust on a level

that's beyond forgiving. He yelled that he was ashamed to be her son after hearing her make excuses for essentially robbing us. I've never heard him talk to his mom like that, ever. Susan was just crying and saying she had no other options and she really thought she was going to hit a big one. It was a terrible, ugly scene. When we got home, this was in the middle of the night by now, the fight continued. I said straight up that this is the final straw. I told Susan she needs to leave, not next month, not next week, but tomorrow. She started wailing that she has nowhere to go, and my husband, still enraged, said that frankly he didn't care right now. He told her she should have thought of that before essentially stealing from us. I backed him up 100%. We told her to go

to a friend's or something, but she can't stay here after this. She retreated to the guest room, crying and saying we're heartless and that she'll never be able to fix things if we throw her out. Too late, in my opinion, she's done plenty of irreversible damage. After she went to her room, I sat down with my husband in the living room. We were both exhausted. I calmly told him that I meant what I said, she has to go. I said I would start looking into the legal eviction process first thing Monday if she doesn't pack up and leave on her own. And here's the big one, I told him that if he cannot do what needs to be done here, then I can't stay either. I made it clear that I refused to live like this, and I will not continue to be married to someone who

enables a person who steals from us and destroys our peace. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to say, but I meant every word. He didn't respond much in that moment. He just nodded quietly and looked absolutely miserable. I think he knows I'm serious, but he's also devastated. This is his mom, and facing what she's become is breaking his heart. I do feel bad for him, he's truly a good person caught in an awful situation that his mother created. But I have to look out for myself at this point. So that's where we stand as of now. As I write this, it's been a day since the casino incident. Susan has been hold up in the guest room, thankfully quiet. My husband and I haven't spoken much beyond a few logistical things. I think we're

both just drained. I don't know what he's going to ultimately decide, and frankly I'm preparing myself for the worst. I love him, but I cannot live like this. I have some serious decisions to make in the next few days, and so does he. Update 4. Here we are, the final update, and it's not a happy ending, for my marriage, at least. It's been a few days since the credit card disaster. I gave my husband some time to process everything, but I also made my stance crystal clear. Yesterday, we sat down and had the long-awaited talk about our future. I told him I needed to know now whether he was going to have his mother leave, or if I should be the one to leave. He couldn't say the words, but his answer was clear. He just sat there, crying silently, and said nothing. Finally, I asked him outright if he was

really choosing to keep his mother here over our marriage. After a long pause, he said he was sorry, but that he couldn't abandon his mom. That was all I needed to hear. As heartbreaking as it was, I nodded and replied that I understood, and that I would be moving out immediately. In that moment, something in me just, shut off. I've been bracing for this answer, and I think I already knew it deep down. I grabbed my things, and without much fanfare, I left. My husband, I guess now ex-husband, in due time, was crying and begged me not to just go like that, but I told him there was nothing left to say. I didn't make a big scene. I told him I hope he finds some peace, and that I hope his mother someday realizes what she's done. He offered a few. He offered a few.

feeble apology, but it changes nothing. So, I'm writing this from my parents' house, where I'll be staying while I get the divorce process started. Yes, I am divorcing him. There's no coming back from this for me. The papers will be filed within days. I've already contacted a lawyer, and thankfully I have a solid support system. My parents and friends are firmly behind me on this. Even my now former Sil, the one whose rings were stolen, called to say she was sorry to hear how it ended and that I did the right thing. It's sad that it came to this, but I know in my heart I gave this situation every possible chance. My husband made his choice. He couldn't set boundaries with his mom, even when she crossed every line imaginable. As for Susan? Well, she won. She got her son back

under her sole influence and roof. I doubt she even views it that way. I suspect in her mind she's just relieved I'm gone, so there's no one pressuring her to change anymore. The day I left, she actually had the nerve to emerge from the guest room and try to give me a teary goodbye hug, saying she was sorry it turned out this way. I declined the hug and told her to take care of her son. Those were the last words I spoke to either of them in person. I have since blocked Susan's number and, for now, I'm only communicating with my ex through my lawyer. We'll have to sort out some logistics, dividing property and such, but, thankfully, we have no kids to complicate matters. Thank you to everyone who supported me through this saga. The judgment on my original post was a

resounding not the asshole, and I finally truly believe that. I've lost a husband, but I also lost a massive weight off my shoulders. I'm going to be okay.