Reddit Stories - My child REQUESTED the ring from my DECEASED spouse for her WEDDING. When

Episode Date: May 15, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #weddingring #deceasedspouse #familydrama #emotionaldecision #relationshipadviceSummary: A mother grapples with her child's request to wear the wedding ring of her deceased spouse during her wedding. The emotional weight of this request brings up memories and feelings of loss, leading to a difficult decision about honoring the past while embracing the future.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, wedding, family, grief, love, loss, emotional, relationships, decision, memories, support, advice, parenting, traditions, legacy, connectionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. My child requested the ring from my deceased spouse for her wedding. When I declined to provide it, my factory persuaded her that I was self-centered, so I halted the financial support for the wedding. Money. Hello, Reddit. I need help and advice for a sticky situation that I'm currently in with my daughter and Mill I will be using fake names for privacy.

So my daughter is Leah and she is 25 and my mother-in-law is Alice and she is 72. I am, 48F, I lost my husband to a cardiac arrest four years ago. We were high school sweethearts. Together for 28 years and married for 22. And I had never imagined a life without him but life goes on. Right now, the issue that I'm dealing with, it's about the wedding ring that he had bought for me all those years ago. My daughter, Leah, recently got engaged to her boyfriend of three years and she wants me to let her

have my wedding ring. She thinks that it's really beautiful, which it is, and she thinks that it should be treated as a family heirloom. However, I don't agree, I think that it should stay with me because it has only been four years since her father passed away and I'm not ready to let it go. If I'm being honest, I don't even think I would be willing to let go of my wedding band even if it had been a really long time since my husband's demise. For me, it's not about the time that has passed, but what the ring signifies and I don't think that my daughter understands any of that because now, the ring has become a bone of contention between the two of us. She believes that I'm being selfish by refusing to give up the ring for her wedding and even Alice agrees

with her and is backing her up on this. We have been fighting about this for quite a few weeks, ever since they got engaged and Leah decided to ask me if I would be willing to let her have the ring and I declined. She threw a huge temper tantrum that day and then later on, she even got Alice involved and since then, things had been really rough. A couple of days ago, I had had enough, so I decided that I was not going to be financing the wedding at all. Earlier, I had promised that whatever costs had to be borne by the bride, would be covering it all. But now, since I felt like I was being disrespected by Leah and Alice, I decided that I was going to back out altogether and since Alice has been

really horrible to me so far, I decided to call her up, tell her that I was not going to be paying for anything and since she was trying to show off how supportive she was of Leah, she could pay for everything herself now. A few days have passed since then and I did not have any contact with either Leah or Alice, but yesterday, Leah showed up at my house and she was pretty desperate to get me back on board because the venue that she and her husband had selected requires them to pay a certain amount in advance and they need my help for it, or else they might lose the venue. So, Wibta, if I refuse to help them out with the cost of the venue? Edit so for those of you who are asking, I usually just wear my wedding ring on special occasions.

I am a baker by profession and have my own bakery business, which means that I am constantly using my hands. Even back when my husband was alive, I would mostly keep my ring away because I did not want it to get dirty or worse, lose it. It's a beautiful diamond ring with a platinum band and is worth quite a lot. So I generally just keep it away, store it carefully, and save it for special days. And that's part of the reason why Leah thinks that I should give it away to her because I hardly ever wear it anyway. I have tried very hard to explain to her that it's not about the ring itself,

it's about what the ring signifies. And I want to keep honoring my marriage by wearing the ring whenever I can. If I give it away to her, I won't be able to do that anymore and as much as I like the idea of making it a family heirloom, I don't think I'm ready to give it away now. Maybe someday, I will be ready to give up my attack. to that ring but right now is not the time. At least for Leah's argument, I can still understand what she's getting at. What I don't understand is why Alice thinks that I should give up the ring

just because she says so. When Alice had been trying to back Leah up, she had said that since the ring had been purchased with her husband's money, she has a say in what happens to it and she believes that the ring would be better off with Leah if she wants it now. And it's true that the ring had actually been purchased with my father-in-law's money because my husband and I got married really young, so he couldn't afford such an expensive ring back then. But as far as I know, my father-in-law was happy to help him by the ring, and after we got married, the ring has always been mine, so I don't think anybody apart from me gets to have a say in what happens to the ring. However, I'm not surprised that Alice has chosen to take this stance in this situation because

she had never liked me. She had put up with me but right from the beginning, ever since we were in high school and started dating, she had never approved of my relationship with her son. And what used to infuriate her even more was that my husband did not seem to care about her approval at all and neither did I, and even my father-in-law never had a problem with us. It was just she who never liked me and now, she's milking this opportunity to create problems between me and Leah because she probably thinks that she can drive a wedge between us. I don't know what she thinks she's going to get out of it, but I know for a fact that she's not making anything easier for herself or for Leah, since ultimately she has had to approach me for help because Alice definitely wasn't going to pay for everything. Anyway, I hope this edit helps. Update 1, Hello, Reddit. I would like to thank everybody who took the time to comment on my original post and had advice for me on how to go ahead in this situation. This was my first time posting, so thank you for all the kind words.

It has been a week since Leah approached me to help her out with the cost of the venue, and I decided to help her out. Most of you guys had told me that I would indeed not be the if I decided not to help her out, but I wanted to do so because Leah and I have always had a good relationship. In fact, this has been the only time that we have had such a huge fight and I don't want to let this petty thing get in the way of our relationship as mother and daughter. That's definitely not what my husband would have advised me to do, so I decided to help her out, but I told her that I did not want her to have any more contact with Alice now. Ordinarily, I wouldn't have set a condition like this because that is not who I am, but it has become very

obvious to me that Alice has been trying her best to brainwash Leah against me. Because like I said, Leah and I have always had a good relationship and like any mother and daughter, we have our fights, but I guess the second Alice realized that this fight about the ring had the potential to turn into something big, she decided to start interfering so she could try and turn Leah against me. And maybe she would have actually succeeded in doing so if I hadn't decided to withdraw all my funds from the wedding that I had committed. My mother-in-law lives with her older son, my brother-in-law. and his family and they are the ones who are taking care of her, so she doesn't really have any money of her own. And that's why she couldn't help out with the cost of the wedding, or else she

probably even would have done that, just so that Leah wouldn't speak to me. Now, obviously, I can't blame Alice for everything because Leah is a grown woman and she should be able to tell right from wrong by herself, but she's also young and impressionable, so I guess I might find it in myself to forgive her. Of course, I do find it sad that hypothetically, if she's a lot of she wasn't having trouble with covering the cost of the venue by herself, then she might not have reached out to me at all. But I don't want to let something like that get in the way, especially right now, when she's about to get married. Personally, I would like to move on from this and that's what I'm going to try to do. She and her fiancé are good kids. I know that for a fact, and that's why I'm

helping them out. Her fiancé's family is not very well off so, they won't be able to contribute, which is why I had offered to help them out with the cost of the wedding and the rest of it, they were going to cover it themselves. So if I need to help them out with the cost of the venue, I'm not going to back off from doing what I had promised. After all, she is my daughter and my only child and I can forgive one mistake as a mother, but the only thing that I ask of her is that she keeps her distance from her grandmother because that woman is definitely not a good influence.

When I told Leah what I wanted her to do, she was a little taken aback, but she told me that she would try to cut down on the time that she spent with Alice. In the past couple of weeks, ever since Alice started taking Leah's side in the fight about the ring, they had started spending more time together. And surprisingly, they had actually managed to bond over how much they missed my husband. But even then, Leah could not ignore the fact that Alice definitely had a huge hand in our fight getting worse because she herself admitted that Alice had been trying her to make me look like the bad guy in the situation and make this a bigger deal than it really was.

She was the one who had said that I was being selfish, that I had more attachment to that ring than I had with my own daughter, and had even gone to the extent of trying to tell Leah that she needed to cut me out of her life if she wanted a peaceful wedding because I would try my best to control everything, just like I had done with her son's life. Honestly, none of that is true. I don't know why she would say things like that,

but it's very clear to me now that if I want a good relationship with my daughter, I have to make sure that Alice has nothing to do with her anymore. Anyway, this is what has happened so far and if there are any further developments, I will keep you guys in the loop. Thank you so much for reading. Update 2, Hello, Reddit. So Leah and her fiancé secured the venue by paying for the deposit with my help last week and we are trying to fix things again.

I forgot to mention it when my last update, but she has apologized to me several times for being nasty about this entire thing and has told me that she was the one who was being selfish, by not thinking about what the ring actually meant to me. I'm honestly glad that she had come to the realization because I really did not want to continue fighting with her. I love my daughter and I want to stay on good terms with her. So I, for one, am really happy that the drama came to an end and I'm going to be an active part of the wedding now.

But I can't say the same for my mother-in-law because Alice has been very upset that Leah has cut down on her time with her and has in fact, not been seeing her at all ever since I told her that I did not think it was a good idea for her to be spending more time with her grandmother, since Alice was obviously bent on ruining our relationship, especially after whatever learned in the last update. Regarding the things that Alice had been trying to teach Leah about me, I think it was for the best. Now naturally, she is not happy about the fact that we are getting along well again and she's being sidelined and is trying to make a whole thing out of it. So far, ever since my daughter was born, I have never had an issue with her spending time with Alice because regardless of

regardless of our personal problems, I did not want to deprive Leah of spending time with her family members, even if it was Alice. And to be fair to her, she had never tried to turn people against me like this so blatantly before, so I really did not have a reason to try and stop Leah from spending time with her grandmother. But given the circumstances, I really don't see anything wrong with what I did, so I really don't understand why Alice is so upset and is even trying to get her other son involved. Since I blocked Alice, she decided to get my brother's in-law to text me and tell me that I needed to unblock her so we could clear the air and discuss what was going on because I had no right to try and ruin the relationship she had with her

granddaughter. She even played the my son wouldn't have wanted this for us card which is ironic because she is the one who started all of this and I'm pretty sure that her son wouldn't have wanted that either. I don't have bad blood with my brother-in-law and I really don't want to get into a fight with him as well, so I just replied to him saying that I really respect him and that's why I don't think it's a good idea for him to be involving himself in this petty feud because I'm pretty sure even he knows that his mother is in the wrong here. And he replied to that message saying that he really did not want to get involved either. But his mother was getting very upset about what was going on, and she was constantly

complaining about how I was responsible for ruining the relationship that she had been trying to build with Leah, and since he hadn't even had the slightest clue what was actually happening with our family, he had just followed whatever instructions had been given to him and texted me whatever Alice had told him to. He said he had a lot of respect for me as well and did not want to get into a fight with me either, which is why he advised me to block his mother so that he wouldn't unnecessarily get dragged into this drama. I kind of understand where he's coming from because his mother stays with him and I'm sure that it can't be easy for him, having to deal with her constant complaining all the time. He can't even kick her out or anything is his mother after

all, and no matter how she is right now, I'm sure that they had a good relationship at some point. Or maybe they even do right now, which is why he bothered to text me when Alice said that he needed to. Because of that, I decided to unblock Alice so I could have it out with her once and for all because I really didn't want any unnecessary fights anymore. I had tried to keep everything peaceful for many years because I didn't want to make my husband choose between his wife and his mother. Besides, it had only been taunts and pot shots in the past, but now, she had taken things to another level by trying to insert herself into situations where she was not required at all

and creating more drama and making me the bad guy in my daughter's eyes. and since she really wanted to fight this bad, I thought that I would give it to her. So I unblocked her, and I immediately called her up and when she answered, I did not waste a second before launching into my rant against her. I had already prepared a speech of sorts in my head, and I got into it as soon as she picked it up so that she wouldn't even have the opportunity to say anything and mess with me. It was easy for me to get into it as well because honestly, I had been saving up all of this for ages and it all just started coming out at once.

She tried to interrupt me several times, but I just kept talking over her until she went silent because I was not going to let her steamroll me. I basically just let it all out. I told her that she had misbehaved with me for years, and I had put up with it for the sake of my husband. And then for the sake of my daughter because I really did not want to cause any trouble in the family. And I am a generally non-confrontational person as well so that also worked in her favor. I also brought up how it was she who had started bad-mouthing me in front of Leah and trying to turn her against me just because we were having trouble about the ring and stuff. She was the one who had acted like a total opportunist and wanted to take advantage of our situation and make me the bad guy here. All I had done was expose what she was trying to do to Leah and then, my daughter had made the right decision by cutting her off herself. Like I said, Leah is a grown woman, she can make her own decisions, and the only thing I had done was not her in that direction.

but ultimately, it had been her call not to keep in touch with her grandmother anymore. So if she really wanted somebody to blame in the situation, she should have taken a good look at what she was trying to do and realized that it was her own plan that had backfired horribly. After I was done talking, Alice started to tell me that she had no such intentions of trying to ruin my relationship with my daughter, which was obviously a blatant lie because I had already heard from Leah what she had told her while we were not speaking. And then, she told me that the only reason she had never liked me was because I was

controlling and always tried to get my husband to be my puppet and obviously as his mother, she wanted the best for him, which wasn't me. Honestly, it was such a low blow because firstly, it was not true, and more importantly, even if it was, I didn't like the fact that she kept bringing up my late husband to justify her own nasty behavior. So I decided not to dignify that by arguing with her and I just told her that it was fair enough that she was trying to look out for her son and that's why she never liked me so she should probably realize that I'm trying to do the same for my daughter and that's why I think it's better for them not to have a relationship anymore. After that, she was probably stumped because she just started fumbling her words

and then eventually resorted to cursing at me. At that point, I knew that I was done because if she had started cursing, it meant that she had nothing more to say. Now, she couldn't even say that I hadn't given her a chance, she had her chance and she blew it because she couldn't come up with a single valid argument in her favor. So I disconnected the call and I blocked her again and now, I really hope that she doesn't bother me again because it's very exhausting to deal with this nonsense. Update 3. Hello. So it has been a couple of weeks since I had my last conversation or rather fight with my mother-in-law and since then, Alice hadn't bothered me. But today, she decided to show up at my place and it came at a rather inconvenient time because we were having dinner together.

And by we, I don't mean just my daughter and me, but her fiancé and his family had also come over. We are officially just six months away from the wedding, so to commemorate that, we were all having dinner together, and I don't know how. I guess somehow Alice must have had some sort of intuition, but she showed upright as we were about to get dessert. When the doorbell started ringing, and I saw her outside, I immediately knew that inviting her it would lead to a lot of problems, so I tried to open the door as lightly as I could and I told her that I was busy right now if she cared about the family and reputation. She would go away and not create a scene here. but she went on to show me exactly how much she did not care about any sort of reputation

by taking the opportunity to scream in my face about how I was alienating her from her granddaughter on purpose and how this had been my plan all along. She told me that she had waited long enough and that if in the past weeks I had not felt even a little bit guilty about what I was doing, then she knew that she had been right about everything she had believed about me from the beginning. I was incredibly controlling and manipulative and had done it to her son and now, I was going to do the same to my daughter, and she was not going to allow Leah to go through the kind of emotional distress that her son had been through because of me. That's when I really started to lose my temper because this was probably the hundredth time

that she was bringing up my husband to take jives at me and I was not fine with it. My husband was really happy with me and I don't know why she just refused to believe it, but she had no right to try and make me seem like the villain here over and over again, especially when I knew that my daughter and her fiancé family could hear everything because of how loudly she was shouting at me from outside the door. So I decided to fully open the door, invited her in, and I told her that if she really wanted to do this now, then we had to do it right in front of Leah. Everyone in the room was visibly uncomfortable, but I didn't care. I was sick of being made the bad guy constantly by Alice. So right in front of Leah, I told Alice

that I had indeed asked Leah to maintain her distance from her grandmother, but that was only because I knew for a fact that she had been trying to influence her and turn her against me by using our fight, to her advantage. But that was just a condition that I had set forth. Leah could have easily disagreed, but the only reason she decided to actually follow what I was saying was because she herself believed the same thing that Alice was trying to take advantage of our fight. Then I didn't want Leah to back me up, and she did. She said that she had realized it a little late, but it was true. Alice had definitely been trying to turn her against me, and she even brought up whatever she had been saying about me to her during that time. And since Leah herself was

saying it, Alice couldn't even deny any of it. So she just went back to saying that she was only trying to save Leah from being controlled for the rest of her life. But if that's what Leah wanted, then she had nothing more to say. That is when I chose to tell her that my husband had been quite happy with me, I had never felt the need to control him. And if she felt like I was controlling and manipulative, it was only because she refused to believe that my husband was actually happy with me. She refused to accept the fact that her son could be happy. with somebody whom she did not approve of, and that was the truth. But unfortunately for her, this was the reality and she could either face it or she could just shut up and leave us all alone.

Because I was sick of having to deal with her and her drama, and now that my husband was gone, she had no reason to keep in touch with me either. If she wanted to, she could have kept in touch with Leah, but Leah herself did not want to keep in touch with her, because of her own fault. her plan had failed her and backfired, so now she had to live with the consequences instead of trying to make me the bad guy. She opened her mouth to argue again, but then Leah told her that she was just embarrassing herself at this point, and if there was anybody who was actually controlling and manipulative in this family, it would be her. I guess that was the last straw for Alice because after that, she started screaming at all of us, calling us all sorts of derogatory names and cursing. And I had to call my brother-in-law to have her taken away. He showed up within a couple of minutes and for those few minutes, we had to tolerate her screaming at us incessantly. Leah just kept arguing with her because I guess she had finally seen this terrible side of her grandmother, and she couldn't believe that she had almost let this woman manipulate her against me. When my brother-in-law finally arrived, we realized that she hadn't

even told anybody at home that she was coming over here. She had said that she was visiting a friend because she knew that if she had told them that he was visiting us to create drama, they never would have allowed her to leave and would have talked her into staying. My brother-in-law apologized to me and my daughter on her behalf and we could see that he was visibly upset, which I totally understand because even after she has embarrassed him like this, he's still going to have to put up with her. Well, I only wish him luck because I know he's going to need it. Anyway, that's what happened today and it was not a good day, to be honest, but at least we got a lot of things out of the way. And the most important thing was that now that Leah had

personally witnessed this side of her grandmother. She was more apologetic than ever that she ever tried to go against me in the first place because of whatever nonsensical rubbish Alice had been feeding her against me. While they were leaving after dinner, she decided to stay for a couple of minutes more and speak to me in private and that's when she told me that she was really sorry about everything that had gone wrong recently and she knew that an apology was not going to fix everything, but she wanted me to know that she would try to be a better daughter in the future and wouldn't get carried away like this. She admitted that she had been acting like a total bright assilla and it was actually her friends and fiancé who got her back on the right track and made her apologize to me.

She also acknowledged the fact that part of the reason she came running to me was that she did not want to lose the venue and needed money for the deposit, but even apart from that, she had been planning on apologizing to me nevertheless. We had a heart-to-heart conversation before she left and I'm pretty glad that it happened because we cleared the air better than we had before. Now, All I hope is that the wedding goes smoothly. Update 4. Hello, Reddit. So my daughter got married this week and I haven't felt so happy in a really long time. Leah was really beautiful as a bride, and just as a token of love, I decided to let her use my ring for the wedding.

That was her something borrowed, and she has returned it to me, but when I feel ready to let it go, I'm going to let her take it back and it's going to be a family heirloom. The wedding was fantastic, I had a lot of fun and it was quite a very. emotional as well. And of course, Alice was not in attendance. She hasn't been in touch with us ever since that last fight that we had about six months ago and I couldn't have been happier about it. My brother-in-law did end up attending, though, along with his family because we don't have a problem with him. He told me that Alice was quite upset that she was not going to be attending since she hadn't received an invitation. But of course, she still blames me for everything and thinks that I am

the horrible woman who turned her granddaughter against her and is controlling her, which is why she's she wasn't invited but the truth was that Leah herself did not want her grandmother at her wedding. However, I don't think there is any force in the world that will be able to convince Alice that she herself is the problem. Well, she can continue to believe whatever she wants to, it's not affecting me anymore. I'm just happy that the wedding went well and my daughter and I are on good terms again.