Reddit Stories - My close bud was CHATTIN' with me every day about her UPCOMING WEDDING,

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #weddingplanning #friendship #relationships #bridezilla #supportSummary: My close friend has been discussing her upcoming wedding with me daily. While I enjoy our conversations, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the constant focus on her plans. I want to support her, but I also need to maintain balance in our friendship and my own life.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, wedding, friendship, relationships, support, bridezilla, planning, advice, communication, emotional, balance, events, celebrations, personalstories, lifeadvice, socialdynamicsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. My close bud was chatting with me every day about her upcoming wedding, but then I peeped online that she invited our work crew after saying she wasn't inviting anyone from the office. I told her to stop talking about the wedding since I wasn't even invited. I, 25F, met my friend Amanda, 27F, at work over three years ago. She was new to the team, and I had the opportunity to help train her. We clicked instantly.

and became really good friends pretty fast. There was never any doubt in my mind that we weren't close friends. Although her schedule was slightly different than mine, she gets off work an hour or two after I do. We always made plans and met up for shopping, drinks, hanging out, and double dates with our boyfriends. Obviously, we have mutual friends we work with, and we all try to have dinner together every once in a while,

or go out to a bar slash club. I was very happy for Amanda when she got engaged to her longtime high school sweetheart just over a year ago. They're absolutely perfect for one another, and when she showed me the ring I was floored with how pretty it is. I did ask when the wedding would be, and she said late in the summer of 2017. It's coming up in August. She has spoken to be almost daily about her wedding planning process, which I'm totally fine with. One day, while we were hanging out, she proactively told me that she wasn't inviting close friends slash co-workers to the ceremony. She wanted a small and intimate wedding with her and her soon-to-be husband's family, and then everyone would be invited to the

reception after. This seemed like a really good idea, and I said I like that a lot. However, after she sent out invitations, three mutual friends slash co-workers snap chatted their invitations, and it's not just a reception-only invitation. The snaps weren't sent directly to me, but were on their story, and I just so happened to see them while clicking through stories. I was hurt that I didn't receive an invitation, even if only to the reception, but I didn't bother bringing it up to Amanda. Clearly, we weren't as close of friends as I thought, and she had already made it clear to me that she had no plans of inviting friends slash co-workers. However, since she had invited some other girls we work with, I figured it was just a roundabout way of her politely telling me I wasn't invited

while trying to spare my feelings. However, she still talks to me daily about her wedding that's coming up in just a few months, and it makes me feel uncomfortable. She constantly talks about everything. Recently, she talked my ear off during our lunch break about her dress, and then showed me all of the pictures she took in it

before sending it off to get altered. It's a very pretty dress, but was a harsh reminder that I won't get to be there to see her in it or celebrate her marriage. I'm perfectly polite and engaged in our our conversations when she speaks to me about her wedding, but it's the only topic that ever comes up, and any attempt to change it up somehow comes straight back to her big day. I get it, she's excited, and she's allowed that, but it stings. A lot. Obviously, I've distanced myself

from hanging out with her as much because her thoughts on our friendship are slash were drastically different than mine. How can I politely tell her to stop talking to me about it, without hurting her feelings, or having it turn nasty. And if it does turn nasty, how should I even begin to handle it? I don't think Amanda would make things nasty, she's very nice, but I don't want her to feel like I'm attacking her in any way and then make a mountain out of a molehill. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Edit 1, I never expected this to receive as many comments slash suggestions as it has. I have read every single comment thus far, and I've gained a lot of insight to the situation, and how I should likely move forward.

I will definitely speak up when Amanda tries to talk to me next. I will advise her that, while I'm happy for her, I have no interest in chatting about slash listening to her talk about a wedding slash celebration that I wasn't invited to. If she tries to continue, I'll deflect it as politely or humorously, as possible. If she freaks out, well, I'll handle that to the best of my ability. Edit 2, I'm seeing a lot of repeat comments and just want to reiterate a small fact, she's never asked for my address, nor does she know where I live and vice versa.

Although we hung out a lot, it was never at each other's place. She was living with her parents until she and her fiancé bought a house recently, so she was uncomfortable having people over. And I live with several roommates in a shared home with my boyfriend, so I never invite people over. If she did intend to invite me, I imagine she would have asked for my address, or given it to me by hand. Neither of these things have. happened, and with her first telling me she had no intention of inviting a particular group I fit into, I'm pretty confident that she never intended to invite me from the get-go. With that said, I plan on politely nudging her to stop when she approaches me next. I'll update this when that happens.

Thank you all so much for your advice. Update, hello, everyone. I meant to update this yesterday when I got off work, but I forgot. So, here's a slightly late update on what inspired after I received a lot of great feedback and suggestions. I took my second break a little later than usual, hoping that Amanda wouldn't notice. Well, she did, and she hopped up from her desk and followed me into the break room. She said hello, asked me how I was doing, for once, and before I had fully sat down to relax began chatting about her wedding again. I waited a moment, then politely cut in with a smile and said, Amanda, I really appreciate that you want to share all of this with me, but this talk makes me slightly uncomfortable. She looked really confused and

asked me why. I was honest and told her that it makes me upset that all it seems she wants to talk to me about is her wedding, and I wasn't invited. She kind of laughed it off and said, but I didn't invite anyone from work so it's not just you. So, that comment alone made it very clear that I was intentionally excluded from her invitation list. Yes, she has every right to choose who she wants to invite to her wedding, but there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it. Telling me she was excluding a specific group that includes me, then inviting other people and lying to me about it at that point, is not the right way to go about it. A simple, hey, I know we're friends and all, but I made the decision not to invite you to my

wedding for X reason would have totally been okay, and I would have respected that decision 100%. I kind of gave her a weird look and said, but you invited friend one, two, and three? I saw it on their Snapchat stories a while back. Unless that was a mistake. I have never seen a woman turn around so fast and bolt out of a room. She looked positively angry. I imagined she went to find all three of these girls and tell them that I found out.

Either way, I got to enjoy the last few minutes of my break in peace. She didn't approach me for the rest of the day, and avoided me as we both walked the same path to leave the building and get to the general area where we had parked our cars. Safe to say, I've lost a few friends, but I'm not heartbroken about it. I'm just glad there wasn't any drama involved in my saying anything, and I'm pretty sure all four of them will be avoiding me from here on out. Thank you everyone who took the time to read my post and gave me some advice, both good and bad. I appreciate it all. Smile comments where OPP has replied, comment, I know this is already an update, but I low-key am dying to know if she has

even tried to approach you since then. Her or her other friends. Oop, I wasn't planning on logging into this account anymore, but was curious to see if this had gained any more comments. She hasn't tried to approach me at all. Smile neither have the other girls. It's Wednesday, and usually by now we all would have spoken in some way. I proactively removed all of them from my social media accounts, so I didn't give them the chance to remove me first. Next story, got drunk and posted screenshots of every inappropriate message men sent me over the years, tagging them all. Now HR wants a meeting and several married men are begging me to remove the posts because their wives found out. I, 25F, went to college for computer engineering,

and got a job in the industry afterwards. In college, my internships and my job, I've dealt with sexual harassment and I've had to get tough with people, telling them to stay the fuck away when I get the first whiff of sketchiness. Every time I've gotten a creepy text or instant message from another student or coworker, I've screenshot at it and backed it up in Google Drive just in case it escalates. That's helped me a few times, when someone started to follow me around in college, and when someone took things so far at work that I decided to go to HR. I don't report most of the shit, though. I don't want it to look bad like I'm always running to HR. Last night, I got really drunk with my friend because I had a day off planned for today. I went home in a kind of bad mood because we've been

talking about how she was going through similar shit at work. I was in a fuck at all mood, and I uploaded my whole folder of screenshoted text messages to Facebook and Instagram, with the captioned phone and inbox of a female computer engineer, and tagged all the men who had sent me messages whose social media I could find. Some of the highlights were. A bunch of married men hitting on me, and me replying dude you're married or something along those lines. Some guys asking me out and then taking rejection badly. Some guys who would text me repeatedly even though I just replied don't contact me, other than for work purposes sexually explicit messages, or messages commenting on my appearance

out of the blue. Overall, just messages from people ignoring my wishes to be left alone. This morning, I woke up to my phone blowing up. I had planned to take a vacation day off work today. A lot of the guys I'd tagged in my social media posts had contacted me demanding or pleading that I remove the posts. Most everyone had untagged themselves. The Facebook post had gotten some attention from my friends, but my two Instagram posts, I had to make two to fit all the photos, had blown up.

I had a lot of new followers, a lot of strangers commenting on my post, mostly supportive. I also had a email from HR at work asking me to meet with them first thing Monday morning. I replied to say that I would. I don't know what to expect there at all. I have not replied to any other messages about my posts. I need some advice. Should I speak to the guys who texted me about the posts? Some are very angry with me because they are married and their wives found out.

I'm thinking it's safest to not. Should I leave the posts up or remember? remove them or wait to see how things go with HR before I decide. Should I be worried for my safety? I feel a little nervous, but I don't know if I'm overreacting. Edit, quite a few of these men were not under my current company's control, such as classmates and a TA from college. Men I knew from summer internships at different companies and a guy from a past job. Out of the four people from my current job. One, I reported him. him to HR actually. Two and three, married men who asked me out or hit on me outside of work

hours and did not present a problem at work. That did not seem like HR's domain. Four, a guy who asked me out outside of work hours and got mildly passive aggressive over text when I rejected him, but did not bring his bullshit into the office comments where OP has replied. Comment one, ask HR what it's about. Can your social media be connected to? to your identity and job? Boop. My social media has my real name, but I have not mentioned my company

or any of my past jobs or internships on their comment too. How are all these students and coworkers getting your cell number? I didn't think it was possible to tag someone on FB if you weren't friends. Delete the post. Do not speak with the guys. Talk to HR and see where to go from there. Boop. Not all of them contacted me by tech.

Some sent me messages on various instant messaging platforms I've needed for jobs or college classes. Out of the people who do have my number, a lot were students, it was very common in college to exchange numbers with your group for group projects. And some are employees at my current job which involves travel, because we do not have work cell phones and it is easier to keep in touch with personal phones sometimes. You're right about Facebook. I added some people, mostly students and other interns, not current co-workers, before I knew them well. And when they turned out to be creepy, I kept them on FB to keep an eye on them. Like to know that they're out of town and staying that way, for example. Update, a lot happened over the weekend. I did a lot of research

into employment law, I read through the whole company handbook again, and for each person I mentioned in my social media posts, I wrote out up a detailed account of their behavior towards me for my own reference, stuff that had not been said over text. I also screenshot and backed up any angry or threatening texts towards me that I received this weekend from the men whose old texts I'd posted online. I think it's worth giving some background on the four people included in my social media posts that I knew from my current job. Co-worker 1, a few months ago, I had reported him to HR for sexual harassment in the past, and he was moved off my team to another position. in the company where he would not have any contact with me.

He had signed a paper saying that he must not contact me for any reason, whether that is work-related or not. I didn't sign anything during this process. The messages from him that I posted on Facebook were old texts from him, to my personal phone, making a comment about how I looked nice at work, and how I must have been dressing up for him. I'd replied that I was not. He asked me who I was dressing up for at work, if not him. because then he'd know who to be jealous of.

I said myself and told him to stop texting me on my personal phone. A few days later, he sent me a message telling me my new hair color was hot and asking me to drinks. That was a small snippet of creepy things he'd sent me. There was plenty more that I didn't post. I found out today that he was the one who showed HR my posts, as I understand it. He had assumed I'd signed a similar no-contact agreement that he'd had too. I had not ever made that agreement, in writing or vocally. I'd just not been talking to him because I had no desire to.

Co-worker too, he was married, and in the office, he didn't seem to do anything out of line. He had my number since I would be traveling for work and one of my team members to be able to contact me. We don't have work cell phones, out of the blue, he texted me asking me to join him at a fancy seafood restaurant when I returned from my work trip. It sounded like a date. I texted back I You're married and he said some shit about how nobody would have to know, and how I seemed like a girl who could keep a secret. I told him to fuck off. He was fired a week later for unrelated reasons.

So while I'd been thinking about going to HR, I never did. I haven't heard from him since, even after my social media post. Co-worker 3, he was also married. One time I was at a work happy hour and I left pretty early. He texted me on my work instant messaging platform, which I have on my phone, asking me to go party with him. I asked, is your wife coming and didn't get a response? I didn't think it was bad enough to report to HR as sexual because something usually has to be done repeatedly to qualify as harassment, unless it is something egregious.

That was in the company handbook. In less concise words, that text exchange was included in my post. After my post, he sent me a slew of threatening texts. Apparently his wife had seen the post and I had ruined his family. He said that I was about to get what was coming for me real soon and to watch out which sounded like a threat. Also called me a couple homophobic slurs. I'm openly bisexual, co-worker four.

He had just broken off an engagement. I didn't hear that from him, just through the rumor mill. He contacted me asking me if I wanted to go out, and I said, said that he wasn't really my type to date. He said that he wasn't looking for anything serious, just casual sex. I didn't reply for a few hours and then he sent me a second text saying, Well, then go ahead and be a bitch and leave me on Reed since it happened outside of work, and was not any kind or repeated harassment. I also didn't think that it would be reasonable to bring it to HR unless I saw a pattern of similar behavior. He didn't contact me again,

even after my post. As for people from past jobs, internships, or classes, my college contacted me about my old TA who had tried to hook up with me repeatedly, and stopped helping me with the course when it was clear he wasn't getting anywhere. They asked me if I'd give a statement. Apparently he was still doing that shit,

and someone else had reported him. And they saw from my post that I'd likely have something to report too. A married guy who tried to get with me when I was an intern at another company sent me some really angry and threatening texts, I have to figure my Instagram post, with his public Instagram account tagged, caused problems in his marriage. I definitely have been taking extra steps to stay safe when I'm leaving my apartment or going anywhere. I'm considering reporting this to the police because it was the most overtly threatening thing I've received.

A few other people I tagged sent me texts telling me how shitty it was not to keep private conversations private, etc. I ignored all those. As for what has to. As for what happened this morning, in my HR meeting. I was all ready to go in with, metaphorical, guns blazing, defend everything I'd said or done with sources from the company handbook. Such as how I did not violate the company's social media policy, as it only prohibited pretending to speak for the company as a whole if PR is not your job, or reveal confidential code or design or business contracts online. I didn't mention my company in my post, or anywhere else on my social media, I was also ready to defend how I followed the guidelines of what is

considered sexual harassment and should be reported. How I reported repeated harassment, but didn't report isolated incidents that were not extreme. The examples of extreme conduct included unwanted overtly sexual touching or threats of violence. The handbook specifically mentioned that asking someone out once was not harassment, but the meeting ended up being much more low-key than I had been expecting. I'd taken down both post-sunders. I'd taken down both post- Sunday, as an act of good faith, though I doubted that would matter much. When I went in, I sat down and asked if I could record the meeting. The HR representative, I'll call her Beth here, but that's not her real name, of course, said okay.

She wanted to talk about each of the specific people I'd posted screenshots from, who work at the company. Those made up less than a third of my screenshots, FYI, first was co-worker one. The guy I had previously reported to HR and who had been moved to a different team and told, that he must not speak to me or contact me. Beth said that he had brought the posts to her attention, as he was under the impression that the no-contact agreement went both ways. I reminded her that I had not entered into a written or verbal agreement. I was surprised it was him who brought it up, but I didn't say anything.

She asked if there had been continued harassment or contact from him after my initial report. I said no. She moved on to the next quickly. Co-worker 2 had been fired a while back for unrelated reasons, but Beth still asked if there had been any further conflict between us. While he was employed, other than the text messages. I said no. She asked me the same question about Co-worker 3. I told her that I had received texts from him on Saturday, that came across as threatening, and used several slurs about my sexuality. I gave her a printout of those messages.

She read them and immediately stepped out to show them to her manager. She came back after a few minutes to continue talking with me. And again for co-worker 4. I told her that he had not contacted me after he said I was a bitch for leaving him unread. Beth asked me if I had any questions, and I basically asked what her next steps would be. She said that she would have asked me to remove the posts so that things could be handled with discretion, however I had already removed both prior to the meeting. She also said that she would be meeting again with co-workers one and four.

She also said that due to co-worker three's threatening comments, he had been escorted out of the building while we had been speaking. Fired. Apparently he was already on record with them, for another issue relating to his temper, and this was the last straw. She also asked me why I had not brought co-workers two, three, and four to her attention before, and I cited the section on harassment from the company handbook, saying that harassment was repeated on wanted comments or actions.

And that a single event is not usually considered harassment unless it is extreme. The conversations with those three men had been isolated incidents. She asked me if I would be more comfortable taking a personal day for the rest of the day, while she speaks to co-workers one and four. She said she wanted to make it clear that I was not being dismissed or escorted out. I was not getting fired, it was only a precaution so that I would not be around co-workers 1 and 4, in case either of them wanted to confront me personally. I said I would. So that's where I'm at right now.