Reddit Stories - My former partner PERISHED in a VEHICULAR COLLISION and his family accused me,

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #legaladvice #grief #accident #familydramaSummary: My former partner perished in a vehicular collision, and his family accused me. Struggling with grief and legal battles, I seek advice on Reddit to navigate the complex emotions and legal implications of the situation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, legaladvice, grief, accident, familydrama, emotionalpain, legalbattles, support, advice, coping, tragedy, accusations, mourning, justice, communityBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My former partner perished in a vehicular collision and his family accused me, prohibited me from attending his memorial service, forcibly ejected me when I arrived, and are currently monitoring my activities closely. Hi, Reddit. I don't know where else to put this. My head is a mess.

My 29F boyfriend, Mark, 30M, died three weeks ago. It was a car accident. A truck ran a redactant. light. Mark died instantly. We were together for five years. We lived together for the last three years. We were talking about getting married next year. He was everything to me. His parents, John, 60 S.M, and Mary, 60SF, never liked me. I don't know why. I was always polite. I tried to be friendly. They were always cold. Mary would make comments about my job, I'm a graphic designer.

She said it wasn't a real career. John would mostly ignore me. Mark knew they were like this. He used to tell me not to worry about it. He said he loved me and that was all that mattered. The accident happened on a Tuesday morning. Mark was driving to work. He had called me about ten minutes before, just to say hi, like he always did.

We had a small argument the night before. It was stupid, about chores or something. We made up before he left for work. He kissed me goodbye. That was the last time I saw him. John called me on Tuesday afternoon. He didn't say hello. He just said, Mark is dead.

It's your fault. You killed him. I was so shocked. I couldn't speak. He said Mark. was probably upset from our argument and that's why he wasn't paying attention. That's not true. The police report said the truck driver was at fault.

John then said I was not welcome at the funeral. He said if I showed up, would regret it. He hung up. I was devastated. Losing Mark was already the worst pain I've ever felt. Then to be blamed for his death and banned from saying goodbye. I cried for days. My friends came over.

They helped me. I helped them plan a small memorial for Mark with our friends later. The funeral was scheduled for the next Monday. I thought about what John said. I thought about Mark. Mark would want me there. He would be so angry at his parents for this. I needed to say goodbye to him.

I decided I had to go. I wasn't going to let them scare me away from that. I wore a simple black dress. I just wanted to be there, quietly. I went to the church. I sat at the back. I hoped they wouldn't see me, or if they did, they would just leave me alone. The service started.

It was very sad. I was trying so hard not to cry loudly. About halfway through, Mary turned around. I think she was looking for someone. She saw me. Her eyes went wide. She grabbed John's arm and pointed at me. John turned.

When he saw me, his face got red. He stood up. He started yelling. What is she doing here? Get her out. She killed my son. She has no right to be here. The priest stopped talking.

Everyone turned to look at me. I just sat there. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. Mary started crying, but it was a loud, screeching cry. She's evil. She took my baby boy. Two men, I think they were Mark's uncles, John's brothers, got up from the front pew.

They walked quickly towards me. One of them said, you need to leave now. You were told not to come. I didn't say anything. He grabbed my arm. The other one grabbed my other arm. They pulled me up from the seat. They basically dragged me down the aisle.

I heard people gasping. I saw Mark's coffin at the front of the church. I just wanted to be near him one last time. They pulled me out of the church doors and onto the steps outside. One of them said, stay away from this family. You've caused enough pain. Then they went back inside. I stood there on the steps.

My dress was messed up. My arms hurt. I felt so humiliated. And so, so angry. I just wanted to grieve. A few people from the funeral came out a bit later and looked at me with pity, but no one said anything to me. I eventually just walked away and went home.

I know they banned me. But he was my boyfriend of five years. We had a life together. Ida for going to the funeral? Update 1 Hi everyone First, thank you for all the comments on my original post. Most people said Entieh, and I appreciate that.

It helped a little to know I wasn't completely wrong. Some people said I should have expected it, and I guess I did, on some level. I just hoped they would have some decency for Mark's sake. The last week has been terrible. After I was thrown out of the funeral, I went back to the apartment I shared with Mark. It felt so empty. I just sat on the couch for hours. My friends checked in on me.

One of them, Sarah, came over and stayed with me that night. The next day, the call started. It was John, Mark's father. He left me voicemails. He called me a disgrace. He said I had shamed Mark's memory by showing me. up. He said Mary had collapsed after the funeral because of the stress I caused. He said she wasn't eating and it was my fault. He said I was selfish and cruel. He called me names I don't want to

repeat. He sounded completely unhinged. I listened to the first two, then I just started deleting them. He called about ten times that day. Mary also called a few times. She was just crying and screaming that I killed her son. Sometimes she would just breathe heavily into the phone. I blocked their numbers. Then they started calling from no-caller ID. I stopped answering unknown calls. On Wednesday, I got a letter in the mail. It was from a lawyer. John and Mary are demanding access to the apartment I shared with Mark to collect all of his belongings. The letter said I had to arrange a time with them immediately or they would take further legal action. The apartment is in my name only. Mark moved in with me. Most of the furniture

is mine, or we bought it together. His personal things, of course, are his. I was always going to sort through them and give his parents what they wanted. Things like his childhood keepsakes, photo albums, specific things he owned before we met. I wouldn't keep those. But the way they are doing this feels like another attack. I talked to Sarah and my brother. My brother gave me the number for a lawyer he knows. I called her. She said I don't have to let them in unsupervised, especially given their behavior. She suggested I pack Mark's personal belongings myself, make a list, and then arrange for them to pick them up from a neutral place, or have a third party like her supervise if they have

to come to the apartment. She also told me to keep records of all communication from them, or attempts at communication. So that's what I've been doing. I started packing Mark's things. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Every shirt, every book, it just brings back memories. I found the receipt for the ring he was going to propose with. He had hidden it in his sock drawer. I didn't know he had actually bought it. That broke me all over again. Yesterday, I got a message on social media from Mark's cousin, Laura. I thought she was going to be supportive because she was always nice to me when Mark was alive. But her message was cold. She said I was being incredibly selfish and disrespectful to John and Mary.

She said they are grieving and I should understand their reaction at the funeral. She said I made a spectacle of myself and that Mark would be ashamed of me. She said I should give John and Mary whatever they want and stop causing them more pain. I didn't reply to her. I just blocked her too. It feels like they are trying to turn everyone against me. I am not trying to cause more pain. I am grieving too. They act like my relationship with Mark meant nothing. Like I mean nothing. My lawyer is going to send a letter to their lawyer outlining how Mark's belongings will be handled. She advised me to get new locks for my apartment, just in case. I am going to do that tomorrow. This whole situation is a nightmare. It just keeps getting worse. I don't want their

drama. I just want to be left alone to grieve Mark. But they won't let that happen. I am not going to let them walk all over me. Mark wouldn't want that. Update 2. It's been a few more weeks. Things have not gotten better. They have gotten much worse. My lawyer sent the letter to John and Mary's It said I had packed Mark's personal items. It listed the main categories of things. It proposed that their lawyer could inspect them, or they could be handed over via a third party, or they could come with their lawyer present at a specific time. I did not want them in my apartment alone with me.

Their lawyer replied saying that John and Mary found my proposal insulting and inadequate. They believe Mark had more assets in the apartment. They accused me of hiding things. They demanded full access to search the apartment themselves for all of Mark's property, including items he gifted to me, which they now claim he only lent me. This is ridiculous. The expensive camera mark bought me for my birthday last year? They are saying it was a loan.

The necklace he gave me for our anniversary? Alone. They are saying anything of value must have been his and he wouldn't have just given it to me. The call started again. This time, mostly for Mary. She would leave long, rambling voicemails. Sometimes she'd be crying about Mark. Sometimes she would be yelling at me, calling me a thief.

In one message, she said, I hope you can't sleep at night, thinking about what you did to Mark, and what you are doing to us. You are a parasite. John sent a few texts. One just said, you will not get away with this. I've saved every.

everything. My lawyer said it's good I am documenting it all. I changed the locks, like my lawyer suggested. That was a good idea. Last Tuesday, I was coming home from work. As I was walking up to my apartment building, I saw Mary standing near the entrance. She was just staring at my door. My heart jumped. I stopped. She saw me. She started walking towards me quickly. You, she shouted. You have no right to be in his home. I said, Mary, this is my apartment. Please, leave me alone.

She got right up in my face. His home. Mark paid for things here. His spirit is here, and you are defiling it. I tried to walk around her. She blocked me. We want his things. All of them.

You stole them. I said, I have offered to return Mark's personal belongings through our lawyers. You need to leave. Then she did something I didn't expect. She grabbed my arm, her nails dug into my skin. You will let me in. She screamed. I pulled my arm away.

No. Get away from me. She started to cry, then she sort of crumpled to the ground right there in the hallway of my building. She was wailing, my baby. my baby. She's keeping him from me. She killed him and now she's stealing from him. A neighbor opened their door. They saw Mary on the floor and me standing there. I must have looked shocked. The neighbor, asked if everything was all right. Before I could answer, Mary looked up at the neighbor

with tears streaming down her face and said, she won't let me have my dead son's things. She's horrible. I just said, she's not well. I've asked her to leave. The neighbor looked confused. I told the neighbor I was going to call the police if Mary didn't leave. Mary then scrambled up and ran out of the building, still crying loudly. The neighbor looked at me. I just shook my head and went into my apartment.

My hands were shaking so much I could barely get the key in the new lock. I called my lawyer immediately. She was very concerned. She said this is harassment. She is sending another letter to their lawyer demanding they stop all direct contact and communicate only through legal channels. She also mentioned a restraining order might be necessary if this continues. A few days later, I found out from a mutual friend of Mark's and mine, someone I thought was my friend too, named Alex, that John and Mary had been telling everyone that I was abusive to Mark. They are saying I controlled him, I took all his money, and that the argument we had the night before he died was me throwing him out of the apartment.

Alex said he didn't know what to believe, but that John and Mary were very convincing in their grief. He said maybe I should just give them everything they want to make peace. I told Alex that John and Mary were lying and that he was not much of a friend if he believed them over me, knowing me, and Mark for years. I told him Mark and I had a good relationship and he knew that. He just mumbled something about grieving parents and understanding their pain. I hung up on him. another person I thought I could count on, gone.

It feels like they are systematically trying to destroy my life and my reputation. I packed up more of Mark's things. Just the obvious personal items. I put them in boxes. I took photos of everything. I sent the photos to my lawyer. I am not giving them my personal belongings or gifts Mark gave me. That's insane.

I feel like I'm living in a siege. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. Every time the phone rings with an unknown number, my stomach drops. I'm not sleeping well. But I am not backing down. What they are doing is wrong. Update 3. Hello again.

I don't know why I'm still posting these. Maybe just to get it out. The situation has escalated further. I don't see any end to this. After Mary confronted me at my apartment building, my lawyer sent a very strong letter to John and Mary's lawyer. It detailed the harassment, Mary's behavior, and the false accusations they are spreading. It stated that if they or any third party acting on their behalf contacted me directly again or came near my home or workplace, we would immediately file for a restraining

order and pursue harassment charges. For about a week, it was quiet. I started to hope, just a little, that they had finally understood they needed to back off. I was wrong. Last Saturday, I had to go to the grocery store. When I came back and parked my car and my assigned spot in the apartment building's garage, I noticed something on my windshield. It was a photograph. It was a picture of Mark and me from a holiday we took two years ago. We were smiling. Someone had defaced it. They had scratched out my eyes with a black marker. They had written murderer across my forehead on the picture and underneath the picture, tucked under my windshield wiper was a dead bird.

My blood ran cold. This was not just words anymore. This was threatening. I took pictures of it all before I touched anything. Then I carefully removed it, wearing gloves I keep in my car for cleaning, and put it in a plastic bag. I called the police. Two officers came. I showed them the picture and

and the bird. I told them about the ongoing harassment from Mark's parents, the scene at the funeral, the confrontation with Mary. I showed them the letters from my lawyer and their lawyer. The police officers took a report. They said it was disturbing. They said it could be considered stalking or harassment. But they also said that proving who did it would be very difficult unless someone saw them. The garage has security cameras, but they are not always reliable, and the quality is not always great. They said they would review the footage. The next day, Sunday, I was trying to work on a freelance project at home.

I heard a loud banging on my apartment door. I wasn't expecting anyone. I looked through the peephole. It was John. He looked furious. I didn't open the door. I know you're in there, he shouted. He was banging on the door with his fist.

Open this door. We need to talk. I stayed silent. You think you can hide from us? You think you can steal my son's things and slander us to the police? Mary is a wreck because of you. She was in the hospital. It's your fault.

I still didn't say anything. I was scared. What if he tried to break down the door? He banged again, harder this time. If you don't open this door, I don't open this door, I swear, I'll get in. Mark has things here. We have a right.

Then I heard Mary's voice, weaker, but still agitated. John, stop it, you'll hurt yourself. Let me talk to her. I heard some shuffling. Then Mary was at the door. Please, she said, just let us have his memories. We have nothing left of him. You took him from us.

Take everything else. Please. My heart can't take this. I just want my son's things. It sounded like she was crying. But after what happened with the photo and the bird and her previous behavior, I didn't trust her. This felt like another manipulation. I called 911 on my mobile, I told the dispatcher my ex-boyfriend's parents were outside my door, harassing me, that I had a police report from the previous day, and I was scared. John started yelling again. She's not going to open. She's a cold-hearted witch.

You call the police on us? We are the victims here." They continued to shout and bang on the door for a few more minutes. Mary was crying loudly. John was yelling threats, saying they would sue me for everything, that they would tell the world what I really am. Then, I heard them move away from the door. I stayed by the peephole.

I saw them walking towards the elevator. John was supporting Mary, who was dabbing her eyes. They looked like a grieving, heartbroken couple. But I knew what they were doing. The police arrived about ten minutes after John and Mary left. I explained what happened. They were the same officers from the day before. They were very serious this time.

They said John and Mary's actions were clear harassment and possibly attempted intimidation of a witness. given my report from yesterday. They took down all the details. They said they would try to contact John and Mary. They advised me to go to court the next morning to file for an emergency restraining order. So, yesterday, Monday, I spent most of the day at the courthouse with my lawyer. We filed for the restraining order. We presented all the evidence. The judge granted a temporary restraining order. John and Mary are now legally required to stay away from me, my home, and my workplace. They are not allowed to contact me in any way.

There will be a hearing in two weeks to decide if a permanent order will be granted. My lawyer also found out that the police did check the security footage from the garage. The quality was poor, as expected. They could see a figure, hooded and wearing dark clothes, at my car around the time I estimated. But they couldn't identify. the person. It could have been anyone. Later that evening, after the restraining order was supposed to have been served to John and Mary, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man's voice. He didn't give his name. He said something extremely messed up and then he hung up. It could

have been one of the uncles from the funeral. I don't know. I called the police again. I told them about the call. They said it was a violation of the ten. They said it was a violation of the temporary restraining order if it was John, or someone acting on his behalf. They said they would document it. I feel like I'm trapped. The restraining order is just a piece of paper. They are clearly not stable. Mary was in the hospital because of her heart sounds like another attempt to make me feel guilty, or to make John more aggressive. I don't even know if it's true. I wouldn't be surprised if she checked herself in for stress just to make a point. I am scared. I am making sure all my doors and windows are always locked.

I told my work about the restraining order and what's been happening. They have security, and they said they would be vigilant. My friends are worried. Sarah has offered to stay with me again. There is no peace. They have made his death into a weapon to use against me. I don't know what they will do next. The relationship, if you can even call it that, between me and Mark's parents is not just

getting worse, it's become dangerous. I don't see a way out of this that doesn't involve more conflict. Update 4. It has been two more weeks since my last update. The hearing for the permanent restraining order was yesterday. I don't know what I expected. Leading up to the hearing, there were no more direct calls or confrontations. That strange call I got after the temporary order was served was the last contact. Maybe the threat of immediate arrest if they violate it was enough to keep them physically away. However, the indirect campaign continued. I found out through another old acquaintance of Marx,

someone who actually reached out to offer sympathy and disbelief at John and Mary's actions, which was a small, surprising relief, that John and Mary have been posting vague but clearly pointed messages on their social media. Things like grief is made harder when evil people try to profit from your loss and our son was too good for this world and some of the people in it. Justice will come. They also posted old pictures of Mark, with captions about how much they miss him and how they are fighting for his memory against those who betrayed him. They never mentioned my name, so my lawyer said it's hard to say it's a direct violation of the temporary order's no-contact clause regarding third-party harassment, but it's clearly aimed at me and designed to make me look bad to anyone who knows us.

Their lawyer also tried to get the hearing postponed. He claimed Mary was too ill to attend court, suffering from extreme emotional disdemeanor. and a recurring heart condition exacerbated by the accused actions. My lawyer argued that her presence wasn't strictly necessary for this type of hearing if her lawyer was there, and that delaying it would only prolong my distress and risk my safety. The judge agreed, and the hearing went ahead. John was there with their lawyer. Mary was not.

John looked terrible. My lawyer presented our case. She outlined everything again, the funeral, the verbal abuse, the voicemails, Mary's confrontation at my apartment, the defaced photo and dead bird, John and Mary banging on my door, John's alleged, subsequent threatening call after the temporary order. She emphasized their escalating behavior. The police officers who took my reports also gave testimony. John's lawyer argued that John and Mary are grieving parents. He said their actions, while perhaps overzealous, stemmed from immense pain and a desire to protect their son's legacy

and retrieve his sentimental belongings. He painted me as cold and uncooperative, someone who was unreasonably withholding Mark's possessions. He claimed I misinterpreted their actions and that I was trying to punish them. He even suggested the dead bird incident could have been a coincidence or done by someone else entirely. During Mary's actions, he stated she was a distraught mother, not a threat. He said John's alleged call after the TRO was served could not be proven to be him. John got very agitated when his lawyer was trying to downplay their actions. He suddenly stood up and shouted, she's lying. She drove him to his death. She's a gold digger, a vulture, trying to keep what's not hers. Mark would be disgusted with her. The judge immediately called

for order. John's lawyer tried to calm him down. John kept trying to speak, saying, you don't understand what she's done to our family. Mary is sick, sick because of her. The bailiff moved towards him. John eventually sat down, but he was breathing heavily and staring at me with pure hatred. After a short recess, the judge made a decision. The permanent restraining order was granted. It's for two years.

John and Mary are prohibited from contacting me directly or indirectly. from coming within 500 feet of my home, my workplace, or my car. They are also prohibited from posting about me on social media, even vaguely. The judge was very stern when addressing John. He said that while the court sympathized with their loss, their behavior towards me was unacceptable and constituted harassment. He warned John that any violation of the order would result in immediate arrest. John looked defeated and enraged at the same time.

As he was leaving the courtroom with his lawyer, he looked back at me. He didn't say anything, but his eyes were full of menace. It was a look that promised this wasn't over. So, I have the order. It's a piece of paper, yes, but now it has more teeth. The issue of Mark's belongings is still not resolved. Their lawyer contacted mine after the hearing. He said John and Mary are too distressed to deal with it right now, but still insist on

everything that belongs to Mark. My lawyer suggested we arrange for a professional moving slash inventory service to pack and deliver what I've identified as Mark's specific personal items to their lawyer's office, at my expense, just to be done with it. I've agreed. I just want those things out of my apartment. I want one less thing for them to fixate on. The restraining order might keep them physically away for a while, if they're smart. But their behavior is so obsessive. Mary's supposed illnesses that always flare up when they want to escalate things or play the victim. John's explosive anger. Their conviction that I am to blame for everything. There is no peace here. There's no winning. I got the restraining order, which I needed for my

safety. But I live with this constant low-level fear and anxiety. I lost Mark. And then I had to fight his parents who have tried to destroy my life on top of that grief. I guess that's all for now. I don't know if I'll post any more updates. There's not much more to say unless things get even worse, which I hope they don't. Thank you to those who read all of this. It helped a bit to write it all down, to have it out there somewhere instead of just in my head. I appreciate people listening.