Reddit Stories - My MOTHER left us many years ago, and I EVENTUALLY LEARNED that my

Episode Date: April 13, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #familydrama #emotionaljourney #personalgrowth #forgiveness #selfdiscovery  Summary: My mother abandoned us years ago, leaving a void in my life. Over time, I navigated the complexities of my emotions and relationships. Eventually, I learned to forgive her and understand the reasons behind her departure, leading to personal growth and a deeper appreciation for my own resilience.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, family, abandonment, emotionalhealing, personaljourney, resilience, forgiveness, growth, lifechallenges, motherissues, selfreflection, relationships, healing, understanding, coping, lifeadviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. My mother left us many years ago, and I eventually learned that my entire understanding of my past was false. This was a recurring statement from him. He mentioned how my mom gathered her belongings and departed. Up and left us when I turned two years old. I grew up to resent and hate her, mainly because I saw how my father was working super long hours to make ends meet.

I hated how my grandma basically had to raise me. When I would ask her about my mother, my grandma painted a picture of a bitter, spiteful, hateful, spoiled-intitled-intitled woman. I felt very justified in my anger and hate for her, that's what my family told me and I had absolutely no reason to doubt them. A few weeks ago I found her on social media while at my boyfriend's house, and I was so fucking mad. She was out there living her best life.

She is a cook, chef, in a Michelin-Star restaurant, she tried to be. travels, has a huge apartment, and apparently is married to a gorgeous man. In a fit of rage, I DM'd her cruising her out for abandoning me to live her frivolous life and that karma would come to her. She obviously saw it, instead of going off on me she just asked me to meet her and that felt like I had a right to express my anger to her in person and that she owed me as much. I was starstruck because my father said she never stood for the consequences of her actions. Without telling anyone I agreed, she invited me to this amazing. restaurant. She paid an Uber for me and everything. It was very awkward at the beginning. I kept

berating her. I was so angry. I cried a little. She just sat there and took it all in. I then asked her, why she abandoned me. She then asked, this is all paraphrased, do you really want to know the whole story? It is not nice and you will not like it. I am ready to be the bad guy in your head forever and keep my distance. I just kept pressing her, and then she told me the real story. This is again paraphrased and to my best recollection, she told me that my father and she met shortly before ending uni. At that time my mother had said she did not want to stay in Unitown that a few months after dating my father told her, that his landlord was evicting him because the apartment was needed for immediate family use. She offered him to stay while he

found something else. Moths passed and he was not doing anything. When she got a job offer in another country. She told my father, that he could take over her apartment or come with her. They had this huge fight where my mother told him that she was not ready for the type of commitment he wanted. She wanted different things in life than him and that as much as she loved him, that they weren't compatible. They stayed living together and then one day she found out she was pregnant. She told me honestly, that she was thinking of not having me. She did not feel ready to be a mom at 22. She did not feel maternal feelings. She said she was already struggling with depression and late-diagnosed ADHD. My father convinced her to have me, he said he would take me because he

had a right to me, that he would go after her because that baby was also his, so she had me. She said that the time after birth was really bad, my father was dragging out the legal procedures, he refused to vacate the home, my mother said that while she felt love for me and that there were moments when she felt overjoyed, it was overshadowed by huge waves of suicidal ideation. She was scared that she was going to hurt me. She also showed me some of the court documents of that time that backed up her claims. In the end, she was so desperate that she agreed to stay with my father if he agreed to be the main caretaker. He did, but only half asked. My mother then told me that it got so bad that she tried to commit suicide around my second birthday after a

particularly nasty fight where my father admitted to having tampered with her birth control. She showed me the papers of the involuntary 72 hours commitment and the legal documents where she was found unfit to be a parent afterward. I felt nauseous after all that, I would have not not believed her. Hadn't she brought so much she then asked me what I meant in my message that we were struggling. I told her that we were not exactly rich and that I was struggling to come up with the money to go to university in another city. She was bewildered and asked me what my father had been doing with the monthly payments she was making. I told her that we don't receive that money. Then she took out another stack of papers. Guys. She is sending child support every month.

It is almost 3k every month. Edit, she is court mandated to pay me one point She doubled the payments out of her own will. She doesn't have to pay that amount, she wants to. She was very concerned about this and told me she would talk to her lawyer's ASAP to transfer the money to me directly. In the end, she apologized to me, she is very sorry to have put me through this. She was very sorry for not being stronger and she was very sorry for letting me grow up the way I did. She was crying. I was crying. She then told me to take my time, she would contact me again regarding the payments and that it was up to me if I wanted to see her again, that she couldn't be the mother I wanted but the least she could do is help me with anything that I

need. I hugged her, I cried, she cried, I boxed up my food and she got me another Uber home. At home, my father was not there, so I went straight to bed and left early the next morning and am staying with my boyfriend. My whole life is a lie. Update 1, just found records of domestic violence from my father 42F to my mother, 40F, my M18 life keeps crumbling. I have found out that my mother never really abandoned me because she didn't want me, but because she tried to commit suicide and was deemed unfit to parent and that my father basically baby trapped my mother with me. After the post yesterday, I went snooping even more because I do not trust my father anymore. I found records of domestic abuse perpetrated by my

father toward my mother, he was charged but never ended up going to jail or did a very reduced sentence. This would have been when I was two after my mother was committed. I also found a restraining order filed by my mother against my father. It was so much worse than what she said. He did not only abuse her emotionally but also physically, I am feeling so disgusted, I could just scream. I returned to my boyfriend again. My father has been calling a lot asking why I had spent so much time away from home. R.N. My excuse is a family emergency of my boyfriend. After yesterday's I wanted to confront him but now I don't feel safe, any advice? Update 2, caught my father M-42 in a lie. Should I M-18 just cut my losses and cut him off from my life? My life was put upside down for

the past weeks. I found out my mother did not abandon me but tried to commit and was deemed an unfit parent due to her mental issues. She was giving my father 3K a month as child support. 1.5K was court-mandated 1.5K was out of her own will. I also found court records of my father being charged with physically assaulting my mother on more than one occasion. So after staying for a while with my boyfriend, I decided to go home for a while because I wanted to get my legal documents and all of that. My father came back home and we talked a bit. I just asked him, by the way. Did my mother never send you child support for me? my father just scoffed theatrically and went on this rant about how courts are always accessible

to the mother and how they told him he couldn't expect anything from her and so on. He pulled that whole story of him begging her for money when he didn't have enough money for my school supplies and are turning him down. I know this is a lie, my mother kept itemized records of all. Her money wires to my father. Every month since she had a job, meaning for over 15 years she has sent my father money, in the beginning, she sends him 400, then 600, then 1,000, and eventually 3,000. Then he kept talking saying how hard it was, that he wished he would have gone after her more, but that the courts were not in his favor. He told me how even now we were barely able to go paycheck to paycheck. His rant was surreal. After he left to go, God knows where I went snooping

through his room where I found a stack of cash in his sock drawer, it was over 5K crammed into the back of his drawer. Things are getting worse. I feel so weird. I cannot describe the ick. I have all my documents and wrote my mother so we could maybe meet again. Should I just ghost my father? Update 3. I am 18 just found out that my father M-42 baby trapped my mother F-40 with me. Some background. Until posting here, I never realized that my relationship with my father was not normal, I explain more about his behavior in the previous, but as a bit of an explanation. He made me his accountant from a very young age, I had to keep track of expenses, etc., and so many times I was having panic attacks because we would not make it to the end of the month

with the money on the account. So many times my father would berate me if I ever asked to go out, e.g. to the cinema, because we couldn't afford it. When he would allow me to go out, it was always attached to an endless list of requirements that were absurd. Again, let's take the example of the cinema, I would ask him a week prior and he'd say yes, but that I had to clean the house, drive Grandma to the doctor, pick up sigh, leave some dinner ready for me, and many more, so that if I did not complete one single detail, like not bringing out the trash, he would pick up a fight with me making me feel guilty and thus staying home. He would constantly make me feel worthless, saying I would not survive in uni, that I was not talented to do this, that I was not good enough

to do that. He is extremely reactive, one time in the car I teased him that I would be for the other football soccer, teen tonight and he kicked me out of the car making me walk home alone. There are so many more examples, I thought it was merely my fault or that other dad were also like this, but suffice to say. It is not normal. What happened now? I did in fact contact my mother after finding all this out. I confronted her with the newfound information. She admitted that it was quite bad and she did fear for her life. My father apparently had friends in law enforcement that were following my mother and making her life impossible, giving her tickets for the most inconsequential stuff, pulling her over for random controls, everything possible to intimidate her

or to find dirt on her. My father put her to the ultimatum of just singing over without a fight or he would make her any my life impossible. My mother told me that he had been abusing her since I was born, as early as one week postpartum. So when my father, uttered the ultimatum she felt hopeless and just tried to end it. It did not work and after she was released my father served her and battled for full custody, because she was deemed unfit to parent it was really easy for him. She told me the court actually went pretty hard on her. About a year after that my mother attempted to establish visitation with me, she reached out to my father who invited her over, he told her that she could be in my life if she agreed to be together with

him again. My mother told him no and then a fight ensued. That was the night he assaulted her. He assaulted her so badly that she wound up in the hospital. In the hospital seeing her wounds they had to report it, so he was sentenced to a year but only served three months. At that time custody of me was with my grandmother, my father resumed custody of me at the time of being released. I was able to corroborate all this after. Reaching out to my aunt who has not spoken to our family in 10 years, my aunt Mia basically documented my mother's abuse. She took pictures of her bruises, and recordings of my father screaming and threatening her. She told me that she testified against my father in court and that she could just back up

everything my mother said because he was the same to her. I insisted on seeing the pictures and recordings, my aunt was resistant to this, but a part of me did not want to accept that this was reality. So yeah. My father is a fucking monster. I told my mother about everything monetarily that I had found out. She said that legally there was not much we could do, but she spoke with her lawyer and seeing as I am 18 she started the motion to start transferring me my child support money. She said that for the time being she would give me 1.5K monthly while she still had to pay my dad the money. As soon as the process is greenlit, I am going to get it all.

She also agreed to pay for my matriculation fees as well as for the deposit and first month's rent of an apartment in my Unitaph. so that I could be as independent as possible. For now, I have only sent in my applications a couple of weeks ago, so I should get any news on that front latest by September. We decided that confronting my father was not a good idea, for neither of us. So we decided on telling my father that my boyfriend's parents invited me to vacation. But he does not know I am gay. So we plan on telling him that this is the last vacation to say goodbye to my friend.

I have talked to my boyfriend and his parents, they did not even hesitate and immediately said yes. They now know everything and support me 100%, so my mother and his parents are sending us for two weeks to a nearby country where they have a summer house. I told my father about the plans and he said that as long as his parents were paying that it was all right. He did tell me that I had to help him with a million things before leaving. Again, so I am already seeing a fight on the horizon. But I have managed to get all my important documents and open a bank account, thanks to my aunt's help. So on Thursday, I am officially leaving for two weeks and I pray things to get resolved beforehand. I am taking all important stuff with me already

in case things go south fast. Anyways, this has been an extremely difficult time. And I feel overwhelmed with this all. So please don't reach out probing me for an update. I will update when I feel it is right and when I feel like I can do it, this has been very helpful. Without you guys, would have never noticed that I had also been abused and that there is most likely more to the story, even more than what I have found out. It has also proven very therapeutic to write this all down in a somewhat orderly fashion. So thank you so much for all the support and advice. New Update 4. I am 18 just found out that my father M-42 baby trapped my mother F-40 with me. Things went south fast. The Wednesday night, the night before I left, my father picked up

a fight with me for not taking his car for an oil change. He called me everything under the sun, saying I am selfish and a brat, that he raised me better. He then had my grandmother come and say how disappointed they were, that I was clearly not mature enough to leave for a holiday, let alone move away for university. They held me awake till 4 a.m. under the guise of a family meeting, which was basically just a reprimanding session of all I had done wrong in my life. And to be honest, I was demoralized, I was ugly crying and feeling awful. Thankfully my boyfriend called because I had not answered several texts of his, he helped me transport all my stuff while my father was sleeping. When I left without telling him by, he texted me around 1 p.m. and my father

was acting like everything was normal. So the two weeks passed very quickly, I got a mail that I got into a university that has a very good program for, political science, so I accepted and put myself on the waiting list for university accommodation. Then shit blew up, my mother suddenly stopped giving my father half the money, so she was only paying what she was legally obligated to pay, my father was losing it, he began calling screaming at me to come home at once, then calling me crying to tell me that the bitch of my mother had reappeared and was suing him. And now we did not have enough money to pay for the mortgage. I called my mother to ask if she was actually suing him, she said no and said that she had just gone through the courts to start paying me directly

instead of my father, which was granted. Then my grandma started texting me, saying I had to come home right away because my father had had a cardiac arrest. Obviously, I went back home with my boyfriend, only to find our house in literal shambles. There were beer cans, string liquor stuff, and cigarettes everywhere. And that was betting that my father was using all the money on drugs and lavish stuff. Hey, congratulations. You were right. Apparently when I left my father decided to have a huge party, he invited all these friends that he made in fancy bars. I know that because the lady that was in the hospital with my dad,

his GF apparently, she did not know about me, she kept talking about our house as his summer residence. I asked her a few questions, she answered. She is actually pretty sweet but put off by my father now that she knows how he lied. So apparently my father would take the 3K and spend them almost fully on appearing to be richer. He had bought some clothing pieces that were high quality. He would hang out in these fancy hotel sky lounges where he met his GF, then would take her and her friends out to expensive restaurants and clubs. She did not fully admit it but insinuated that they did coke often during those outings, much like the party that leads my dad to odd. It was not only cocaine that they did, I also think an amphetamine.

Anyway, I thanked her and told her that the money was not my father's and she had been lied to. She stayed till my father came to and we could bring him home, which is when she dumped him. And then I broke it to him, I was leaving, he lost his shit, he punched me, he broke my nose, I was really afraid, he was not even fully recovered. In the hospital, I told the nurse how it happened and the police got involved. My mother took me in the very next day, she is helping me with all the legal things regarding my father, she helped me move out, help me move cities, it all happened very, very fast. My boyfriend has been staying over because I am very afraid.

My father has been blocked but I have been getting threatening emails. So that is that, it is good and bad. Edit to answer FAQ. Why did my mother not take me in if my father was so abusive? I explained it already in the last posts, but TLDR, she had lost her rights due to her trying to commit suicide. It did not get better as my father and his friends in law enforcement. and the judges in our small town are heavily biased toward against women. How did you stumble upon so many documents so conveniently?

I didn't, I very sought out those documents. I reached out to Mia myself and insisted in her showing me what she had, none of this was perchance. I have sought out every single document. They are available to the public. Plus if you know what you are looking for you will find them easily by going through your parents' files. This was not convenient.

This was hard work. If you are 18, why is your mom? still paying CS. Here you are legally entitled to CS and governmental CS till you finish university or slash until you reach your 25th birthday. Are you going to sue your father for back payment? No, that would not be of any help. It would be extremely hard to prove that he blew at all. In the end, I was fed and clothed and I had a place to stay with heat, electricity and internet, and running water. It would take too long and not be good for anything but revenge. My mother is terrified of him and I am not keen on seeing him. We are going to pursue a restraining order and

are documenting all his mails and contact attempts. Someone pointed out to keep an eye out for my father opening accounts or credits in my name, we are looking into protecting ourselves in that area. Get a firearm. No, it is not legal nor makes any sense. How come your mother had a lawyer on retainer so conveniently? She didn't. My first post was well over a month ago. My mother reached out to a lawyer shortly after to transfer my CS from my father directly to me in a very clean-cut way, since then that lawyer has recommended us to another firm that is taking my slash our case. Everything about school and university. I am not on a waiting list for what I am going to study. I am on a waiting list for the dorm. Until then I am staying with my BF and a long-term Airbnb in the

city. School starts in October, not next week. Again I do not live in the U.S. Update 5. I am finally free. My father died and I feel no sadness. My father died in the midst of our lawsuit. He had brutally attacked me because I was going to leave him and the CS checks that he had been blowing on drugs and women would stop with my departure. Last year my whole world crumbled, when I found out that my mother had not left us, my father had abused her and made it impossible for her to take me.

He has made my life absolutely miserable. I have detailed this over the past few months here. After I was let out of the hospital, my mother and I got two amazing lawyers, one for the assault case and the other for the misappropriation of the money. The process for the CS case was quick. He had to pack back 50% of the money given to him in the past three years to me directly, no further fines. However, the assault case spiraled.

It was found out that he was going to attempt to plead not guilty in the case of temporary insanity. He had detailed his plan to get away with this to his due to his G.F., who was not an awful human and showed the police what she had. So it went from assault to attempted murder. With his G.F. leaving him, him owing a bunch of money, looking at a hefty prison sentence, and no more money to bail himself out. He took his life on Friday. I was numb the whole week, but today the realization washed over me. I am finally free, I don't have to look over my shoulder. I don't flinch when I hear steps. I don't have anxiety while checking my phone.

I am free. I am finally free.