Reddit Stories - My new husband RELOCATED his spoiled STEPCHILD into my fresh RESIDENCE, replaced the

Episode Date: February 9, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #blendedfamilies #stepchildren #marriage #boundaries  Summary: A woman shares her frustration after her new husband moved his spoiled stepchild into their new home without consulting her. This unexpected decision has created tension in their relationship, as she feels her boundaries are being disregarded and struggles to adapt to the new family dynamics.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, blendedfamilies, stepchildren, marriage, boundaries, familydynamics, communication, parenting, conflictresolution, support, love, trust, adjustment, home, partnership, adviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

All episodes, completely add free with an Apple podcast subscription. Cancel any time. One-time offer, $2.2. Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. My new husband relocated his spoiled stepchild into my fresh residence, replaced the security measures. Upon contacting authorities despite the distress of the mother,

she rejected me for her recently acquired relatives. Hello, everyone. As a 32-year-old female, recently bought a house of my own. I invited all my family and friends over for a housewarming party a couple of days ago. I invited my parents as well but I made sure to mention that only they were invited, so my mother wouldn't bring her new family along. My parents have been separated for almost 15 years. Almost two years ago, my mother remarried to Carson. He has a 22-year-old daughter, from a previous marriage. Vanessa is spoiled, entitled, and everything that I hate. Carson isn't exactly a party to be around either and it's pretty clear to me that they don't like me, so I obviously didn't want them to attend my housewarming party because it was an important

event for me. In spite of that, my mother brought them along and when I brought it up with her, she told me that she wanted me to bond with her new family and it would mean the world to her if we could all just get along. I didn't say much to her on that day because I didn't want to kick up a fuss on the day of my own party and just let it slide, thinking that I would deal with this later. But then Vanessa started talking smack about my house at the party to all my friends and told me that she could afford a better house on her salary, which was almost half of mine. That annoyed me and I told her that she was welcome to buy a house of her own because I was sure that her parents would appreciate their 22-year-old daughter finally moving out of the basement.

That earned me a lot of laughs and she went completely red in the face, so I knew that she was pretty embarrassed. But she was the one who had started it, so I didn't really feel too bad about what I said. I had a lot of guests to attend to so I didn't pay her much mind and went along to talk to other people. After the party ended, my mother lingered even after everybody had left, including Carson and Vanessa. I decided to confront her at that point and told her that I really didn't want her new family around. I was in my 30s and I was old enough to know the kind of people that I wanted around me and the kind of people that I didn't. Her husband and stepdaughter, unfortunately, happened to fall under the latter category because they were really unpleasant

and disrespectful to me. She told me to just give them a chance and then said that she wanted Vanessa to move in with me for a while because her new workplace was a lot closer to my place than to theirs. She told me that if I spent some quality time with her then I would come to like her. But I shot that idea down almost instantly because I could hardly even tolerate her for one evening. I couldn't even imagine the mental strength that it would take for me to tolerate her for an entire day or even more. She was brady and had no manners at all, so I obviously didn't want her around, and especially not in my home, which was supposed to be my safe space.

My mother tried to fight her way into letting Vanessa stay with me but I wasn't ready to budge and told her that it was never going to happen so she could save her breath. So she left in a huff and I didn't even bother to talk to her afterwards because there was just no way that I was giving into her ridiculous demands. But then yesterday, something even more crazy happened. I received a notification from the alarm company which said that my house had been broken into and I immediately rushed back home from work, only to find that the locks had been changed and I couldn't even get in. I could hear people on the inside and was about to call the cops when my stepfather, Carson, opened the door and told me that I needed to stay out because

that was my punishment apparently. I was lost and I asked him what exactly was I being punished for? so he told me that he wasn't going to refresh my memory for me and I had to think of it myself. He'd had the audacity to give me a hint and reminded me of the instance that I had this respected Vanessa in my own home at the party the other day. And now, he said that they were taking over my house because I'd already had the chance to agree to do it nicely, but I had refused and sent my mother home crying and all upset because of the way I behaved with her. Carson told me that he decided that I needed to be taken down a peg or two and he was going

to make sure that it happened. I laughed in his face and told him that I was going to call the police and make sure that he was thrown out, along with his daughter. Because they had absolutely no business taking over my house as if it was some stupid game. Then things got even more frustrating and he told me that he knew I wasn't going to do anything of the sort because then, my mother would be really upset with me and would never speak to me again. Because I knew the kind of experience she'd had with cops and she didn't really like them. My mother had a really bad history with police and she even hated the thought of having them even if there was a crime that was being committed. So she really would never forgive me if I involved the cops in this.

And I was acutely aware of it. He even said to me that Vanessa apparently deserved to live in this house more than I did, then left me on the porch and slammed the door shut in my face. I realized then that there was really nothing I could do, except to call the police and hope for the best because clearly, Carson and Vanessa weren't going to leave on their own. So I called the police and within an hour, I was having them evicted from the premises which was lucky, because Vanessa had actually started unpacking her stuff. Carson could barely get over the shock of what had happened because he hadn't

been counting on me to call the police like this. Because of my mother's past experiences with the cops. I knew that my mom wasn't going to be happy about this, but I still did it. I knew she had trauma related to the police but my hands were tied here, I really couldn't do anything apart from get the cops involved. I received a call from her about an hour ago and she wasn't even mad at me, which I guess, was more disappointing than if she actually had been pissed off. She sounded legitimately upset and told me that if I really didn't want to give Vanessa a chance to live with me and prove that she wasn't as bad as I believed she was, then I should have just called her and she would have put an end to it. But she couldn't forgive me for calling the police

and having them evicted so nastily like how I did, and told me that she would never speak to me again because to her, what I did first was pretty much unforgivable. It broke my heart because of how sad she sounded and it didn't feel like she was enjoying this at all. Usually, my mother's all for the drama, but this time it was different. As if she was actually disappointed in me and I couldn't take that.

I apologized to her in spite of myself, knowing that I had no fault in any of this, but she still disconnected the call and blog, me. I feel terrible about what happened, but I really can't think of another way that I could have solved this and had Carson and Vanessa leave my house and me alone, without getting the police involved. It was the last resort and I don't understand why my mother's taking this so hard. I know about my mother's past and I know that it couldn't have been easy for her, but I feel like she's not looking at things from my perspective either and being a little too selfish. I didn't intend to hurt

her or bring up her past trauma. It just happened and if she wants to blame someone then shouldn't it be her husband and stepdaughter who went out of the way to mess with me and stir up trouble for themselves. I just feel horrible. I can't share what happened with my mother here because I don't think it's my place to speak about it, but I still need to know if I should apologize to her or not. I'd offer calling the cops on my stepdad and step-sister in spite of my mom's bad experience with cops. Update 1. Okay, I didn't want to talk about this because, like I said, I didn't think it was my place to discuss it without my mother's prior consent. But I think it's okay because this is obviously going to be anonymous and nobody will be able to figure out who she is just

from one Reddit post. Besides, I think it's important to mention exactly why she was so traumatized by cops because otherwise, you guys won't have enough context to come to a conclusion regarding this. Like I'd said, my mother broke up with my father almost 15 years ago. Her first boyfriend after breaking up was a cop and I guess you guys already know where this is going. He was literally one of the most toxic people that I, or literally anyone, could ever come across and it was a miracle that he'd managed to string my mother along for more than two years. He used to put her down all the time and would make sure that he absolutely shattered her self-esteem. He'd also isolated her from pretty much everybody in her life and she would meet me

about once or twice a month while she was with him. And even then, she seemed very out of it as if she wasn't even there with me. After almost a year, she was forced to stop seeing anybody at all because her boyfriend didn't like the fact that she still had ties to her past life and wanted her to give up all of that if she really wanted to be with him. He was jealous, petty, and insecure and I don't think I would wish a boyfriend like that even on my worst enemy. The relationship ended only because he ran away with one of his co-workers in the middle of the night and left my mother nothing but a letter saying that he didn't want to be with her anymore and had been having an affair for almost eight months before he finally made a run for it.

My mother was depressed for almost a year after that and I don't know what happened, but she seemed to have developed a fear of cops and couldn't bring herself to trust them after that. It was crazy because one time, she even lost her purse and refused to report it to the cops either. That's how deep-rooted her fear and mistrust was. And I guess you guys can imagine how betrayed and hurt she'd felt when she realized that I'd reported her husband and her stepdaughter to the police. That was the one thing that she could never

forgive and her family had pushed me to do exactly that one thing, knowing how badly it would upset my mother. I'm beginning to think that they'd actually planned this so they could turn my mother against me, once and for all. But I have no way to prove it so I guess it's just my word against theirs. All I remember is that even though Carson seemed a little shocked to see the cops, Vanessa didn't seem flustered at all. But it's not like I can do anything about this. that now. All I can do is wish and hope that my mother comes even if she doesn't. I'll be okay with that because I know that I tried my best to keep the peace. But her new family just wouldn't let it happen and now, it's her choice who she wants to stick with. Update 2. So my mother and I haven't

spoken in almost two weeks after the whole incident. I bet Vanessa's pretty happy about all of this if I'm to go by her social media. I don't follow her but a friend of mine sent me a picture that she put up a couple of days ago, of my mother, Carson, and her on a beach. Chilling with sunglasses on with the caption, just the fam recovering. I don't understand what she's supposed to be recovering from because as far as I'm concerned, I was the one who went through a traumatic experience with her and her father. I talked to my dad about it and he thinks that I did the right thing. What else was I even supposed to do in a situation like that?

My dad even told me that a couple of weeks ago, before my housewarming party, she'd even approached him and asked him if he had any places in mind where Vanessa could live, that were cheap and close to her workplace. My dad's a real estate agent and he mainly deals with houses that are being sold, and not ones being put up for rent, so he told my mother that he couldn't help her out unless she was looking for a place that she wanted to buy for her stepdaughter. And she told him that she would if it were up to her, but Carson didn't want to drop that kind of money on a house for a temporary job. And that made sense too. The thing that I was just upset about was that these were pretty bold words from a woman who refused to help me with my college tuition because

she wanted me to learn to be independent and self-sufficient. But when it comes to Vanessa, there are a lot more allowances being made, in comparison to how I was brought up and treated by my mother. Again, it's not even her own blood, but she seems to have a better relationship with Vanessa than she does with me. Even with this beach trip, my mother had always insisted that she didn't like the beaches and actually preferred traveling in the hills or maybe through the woods if we had to go on vacations or trips. I love the beaches, but with her, I always had to compromise and settle for her choices because otherwise, I knew that she just wouldn't go and we'd end up canceling the trip altogether. So it just stings to see that she's ready to make adjustments for Vanessa,

but she was never ready to do that for me. I didn't think that this post would bother me as much as it is, but I really took that one heart. It almost feels as if Vanessa has the mother and the family that I never did because my mother was never willing to be that mom for me and that hurts. I guess I'm going to talk to her when she returns because I just can't stand this weird silence. Even if it is to tell her that she's really disappointed in me and that now I don't want to speak to her again, I feel like we need to talk at least for one last time. Update 3. I told one of my friends to tell me whenever they think Vanessa is back from her vacation and I learned that they came back yesterday. I don't know how I'm going to bring this up with my

mother, but I know that I have to get through it somehow. She has blocked me on her social media, so I can't use that to get to her, but she hasn't blocked my number and I guess I'm going to have to call her. It's going to be hard because we haven't spoken in almost two weeks and we aren't really on the best terms right now. My dad thinks that I should give it a day or two before I contact her, but I think she'll answer if I call her right now. She's probably in a good mood from the vacation, so that might lead her to accept my call or something. To be honest, I just want to do this because I feel brave right now and I want to rip off the band-aid as soon as I can while I still have the courage to do it. It's just been one day since I learned that my mother is back in town

but I almost feel like throwing up because what if she doesn't answer my call and this is it? I haven't done it yet because I feel like if she doesn't answer my call, then that'll be pretty earth-shattering for me. I've never had that great of a relationship with my mother but it was a relationship still, so if I lose that then I don't know what I'm going to do. Update 4 Okay, so I called my mother finally and I just got off that phone call after talking to her for almost half an hour. She told me that she wanted to meet me in person after I was done saying whatever I had to say.

It was mostly me who did the talking while she just listened to me quietly. It was pretty nerve-wracking to tell her exactly what I thought of her as a mother and just basically talk about everything that I'd mentioned in the previous updates because that's how I really feel and I think it was more important for her to hear that than for you guys. She didn't say much in response but told me that she understood where I was coming from and wished that she had been a better mother the first time around. I didn't understand what that was supposed to mean and I didn't ask either because I want to save something for our meeting tomorrow. We're getting together for lunch and I think it's going to be tense and awkward.

Even if she isn't awkward, I'm sure that I will be because even the thought of seeing her in person makes me very nervous. I keep thinking that I'm going to mess something up and I don't know, maybe something bad will happen. Ever since she got married, I just keep feeling that something is bound to go wrong every time we speak and so far, I've been right about that. I just hope that I'm not right about it tomorrow. Update 5. Hi, so I'm on my way back home from lunch. I can't go back to work because I really don't feel up to it anymore. I just feel like going to bed after drinking some wine and not doing anything for the rest of the day. My talk with my mother didn't go the way I planned or thought it would. It didn't go badly, we did sort out our problems, but the result

was the same. This feels like a breakup but much worse because it's not some stupid little boyfriend who's dumping me for a younger, hotter girlfriend. But my mother dumped me for her stepdaughter, whom I hate. I don't even know how to begin but I feel like you guys have been here with me for most of the journey so you deserve to know what happened. When we met, we hugged and everything and it was nice and normal for a little while. But then we started talking about everything and all the ugly feelings of jealousy inside of me came bubbling up to the surface. And I told her how I wished that she'd been the mother to me that she was now being to Vanessa, which didn't even make sense to me because she was an adult but I was just a teenager when I

needed my mom to be there for me. I told her that I felt like I deserved to be treated better by her in the past. And that it was really disappointing to see her turn into a completely different person for her new family because I keep finding it very difficult to come to terms with her since she should have been that person for our family. And yes, I'm in my 30s now, but it still feels like the younger me deserved a much better mother than her. The same person but a different version of it. I could see her eyes filling up with tears while I was saying these things and it was obviously very hurtful for her to hear it. But I couldn't stop and just went on and on. I didn't really know if I would ever get a chance like this, to just talk my heart out,

so I needed to make the most of this opportunity. I made it very clear to her that while I did love her, I really did think that she could have been a much better mom to me because she owed me that. Once I was done talking, my mother told me that she truly was sorry that she never put in the same effort for me that she was now doing for Vanessa. She explained that back then, she just wanted to live her own life. my parents got married when they were really young because of pressure from their families and even had me at a relatively young age. My mother wasn't even ready to be a mom when she had me,

but my grandparents forced her to take up such a huge responsibility of raising a child, even when she wasn't ready for it. When she got divorced, she finally felt like she had some sense of control over her life and became a little irresponsible. By the time her divorce was finalized, I wasn't even very little and she felt like she could leave me on my own because she believed that I'd be able to handle it. But the truth was that she'd mentally detached herself from the family, long before the divorce proceedings had even started. It was sad, but she just didn't feel like she wanted to be a mother and started putting herself first. It was selfish and immature of her, but she just spent so much of her life doing things that everybody else expected and wanted her

to do, she just didn't want to deal with that pressure anymore and wanted to do things her own way. She wanted freedom for a while and, unfortunately, that came at the cost of our relationship. But now she finally felt like she was ready to have a family and take care of her people, so she was the mother that she never was for me. Only this time, she was being a mother to Vanessa and a wife to Carson. She admitted that I was right and that she should have been a better mother and wife when she was part of our family but she got too selfish and it just didn't work. I thought that now that we had cleared the air, we could go back to normal and we could at least

try and build a better relationship. Instead, she told me that she believed it would be done. best for us to not talk to each other for a while and stay away because obviously, both of us were going through a lot in our personal lives and she didn't want that stress right now. She thought that if we took time away from each other, then we would be able to come back stronger or something equally asinine. But I knew that the real reason she didn't want to talk to me anymore was because of Carson and Vanessa. They didn't like her being close to me and I think by now, it's pretty clear where priorities are. So I wasn't surprised but I was pretty let down because my mother finally had

the chance to correct her past and be a little less selfish this time. But she still chose to remain the same way and let me down yet again. It's pathetic but I really do feel bad because today, I honestly felt like we were connecting on a human level. Evidently, I was wrong and her owning up to her mistakes ultimately meant nothing because she was still going to give me the cold shoulder and act like I wasn't even her daughter so that her new family wouldn't get too annoyed. It's fine though because now I know that my mother was never really going to be there for me. It's a little sad but there's not much that I can do anymore. And honestly, she's let me down so many times already that now, I don't even feel surprised. I just want to get on with my life now.

That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the second one. I hope you enjoy this story. I felt disheartened earlier this year. My partner of nine years is reluctant to be affectionate with me and I fear he is considering ending our relationship. I, a 23-year-old female, met E. 23M, in the sixth grade when we were both 11 years old, we were best friends since that, really inseparable, practically joined by the hip, we started dating when we were 14 and never stopped. We were the typical teenage couple, we had our fair bit of stupid fights, but overall our relationship was pretty mature given our ages. E. Family practically adopted me when my parents died when I was 17. My parents died in a car accident and they were strangled for their families so I had

no one else to go. His mom loves me and my relationship with the rest of his siblings is pretty good. He has one older brother, 25M, and two younger sisters, 19 F, 17F. I considered his family as my own. They helped me so much since my parents died. They let me move in with them. They paid for my college and rent. I live with E and they pay our rent. They are really supportive of us and his mom have a of the size of the entire fking world, I swear. E is tall, six feet three inches, absolutely gorgeous, easy-going, funny, really fking smart he speaks five languages and is attending med school. Everyone likes him me on the other hand I'm pretty common. I would give myself a seven-tenths on a good day. Despite all that E was always jealous and insecure about me, he is absolutely terrified of me

cheating on him. His aunt cheated on his uncle who later committed suicide. They were really close and that give him some severe mental scars, given that he was always a bit. Controlling of me hanging around with male friends and make me promise him that I would never cheat on him a thousand times. Earlier this year in February, I started spending a bit of more time with my friends and as a result, I wasn't spending much time with him. This started our biggest argument so far. He argued that I was prioritizing my friends, male friends specifically. He tried to, make me cut one of my closest friends that he didn't like it. I wasn't going to do that and we ended screaming at each other. This led to a day that I was supposed to go to a party with my friends at

night. He asked me to no go there. Because my friend was going to be there, I told him no. Before I left, he told me that he was feeling sick. He told me that he was feeling a headache and a slight fever. He asked me to stay home and order some food and watch a movie with him. We started to argue he screamed at me and I left. I am going to try to make this short and not graphic. I meet with three of my friends there, drink more than I should, got really drunk, went to lay down in one of the rooms in the house that the party was. Happening, fell asleep, and woke up with my three friends raping me, I was able to scream, and one girl who was in the bathroom heard me up and came to help me. Soon other people started showing up and in the end, the guys who did it were beaten

up too close to death. I was taken to a hospital after that. Two of the guys are in jail right now and the other was able to dodge prison because he didn't have taken his turn yet. To say that this whole thing fucked me up is an understatement, I was. Diagnosed with depression and PTSD, it was bad, really fking bad. I started having this panic attacks where I couldn't breathe and the only thing that made me feel better was E. If he was there I didn't have any panic attacks but if he left for more than 30 minutes, now is a bit better. I am able to be away from him for about seven to eight hours without feeling terrified. I started to freak the FCK out. I was probably one of the few people who were

grateful for the lockdown, L.O.L. A mix of obsessive attachment with anxiety my therapist said. He was my goddamn hero. He cooked for me, made sure that I was eating, made sure that I was taking my meds, drove me to my therapist and psychiatrist appointments. He started showering with me, because it was the only way that I was comfortable being nude. Don't ask me to explain why. He held me down when I started sobbing at random moments at the day. I used to have night terrors and the only way to this day I can fall asleep is. With my head on his chest, he is the only person who makes me feel safe, basically he and his family. His mom helped us a lot. She was the one who delivered groceries to our apartment

because he couldn't leave or else I started to panic. We're the ones responsible for me not killing myself. Our intimacy life was pretty good before the incident. We lost our virginities to each other when we were 16 and we were each other's firsts and only in everything, even kissing, he has an insane high libido. For him we could have intimacy seven times a day and he could keep up for hours, but we normally did once or twice a day and I always blew him at least once a day. He always pressured me a bit for more intimacy and was always hurt when I refused but overall our intimacy life was pretty healthy after the thing. He never, ever mentioned or tried to initiate intimacy or any type of thing like that. I started to feel comfortable with kissing him around.

the end of August, but he only gave me short pecks. And he didn't seem to enjoy them. These days when I tried to give him a more elaborate kiss he pulls away. In the middle of September, I was finally feeling good enough with myself to have intimacy again. I put on some fancy lingerie and tried to initiate, but once he saw what I was trying to do he pulled away, gave me a kiss on the forehead said that he was tired and went to sleep. This doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is. Ever since we had intimacy for the first time seven years ago he never shot me down when I tried to initiate, not even once, and the longest time that we spend without having intimacy was before the whole thing. Obviously, every time that I tried to initiate intimacy he always gave me an

excuse, he was not in the mood, he was tired, he was busy and, like I said before he has the libido of a porn star and I caught him masturbating before so that didn't change, my twisted mind thought he was cheating. On me, even though that the max time that he spent away from me in these days is for about four or five hours. So yesterday I snooped through his phone, yes, after all the things he has done for me I did this. Yes, I am a horrible girlfriend, and he wasn't cheating on me, but I find out something that I honestly don't know if is better or worse than cheating. He was talking to his older brother about us. The main facts that I discovered were this, that he blames himself for letting me go to that party. That every time I try to initiate intimacy

the only thing he is able to think is the other three guys being inside me and how wrong the thought of other guys being inside of me made him feel sick, that how our special thing for us was lost, the special thing is that we lost our virginities to each other and never had intimacy with anyone else. He used to say that in the future he will brag to our future grandchildren about how in the age of hookups we only had intimacy with each other, this. May seem dumb, but it was something that he was really proud of because he is really romantic in that sense and his parents were each other only so they were pretty much the perfect couple, that before the incident he bought a ring and was going to propose to me but he feels like he started

to see me more like one of his sisters and that the lust that he had for me now feels like fraternal love. His brother responded that he had to suck it up and stay with me at least until I get totally healed. He said to him that he wasn't sure if I was going to heal completely. I read all these things last night read it and I really don't know what to do. The thought of not being with him makes me feel terrified. We were supposed to grow old together. He had our whole life planned already. We even discussed baby names. He is absolutely perfect and I don't want to lose him. I have a therapy. Appointment next Monday, but I don't think I'm able to keep this to myself until then.

I'm really desperate here. Any advice is really appreciated. Now on to another story, I found out I'm the literal backup to my pregnant fiancé and walked out. She's begging me to go back not sure what to do. Bit of very relevant back history. We first met six years ago in my then job and we were just colleagues then. I split up with my ex four years ago roughly and we started seeing each other casually three.

years ago until she asked me if we could give it a go as a serious relationship just over two years ago. A lot has happened in the past two years she had a preventive double mastectomy due to having the breast cancer gene. We both sold our respective houses, moved and together, got pregnant and I proposed six months ago. She has been telling me in the past few months she's so in love with me, can't wait to start our family and even once more kids with me we only planned to have the one butt. Because she's so happy, we were even saying she was thinking about having another kid straight after our first is born so we could start our family before she has a hysterectomy due to the gene. So she went on maternity last week and we have two weeks to go before our child is born.

Saad's law said my phone died a few of days ago so I asked her if I could use of her old ones until my new one came. She said of course and told me which one and said it should be empty really. Important thing to note here is that she actually has two of the same make but different models so by mistake. I grabbed the wrong one and logged in and said oh I thought it was blank. she said without thinking she must be baby-brained again so to do what I want and delete anything I don't need after a short while. I start going through the phone and see she has conversations with her bestie in there and the last dates were just before we committed to each other. Basically, she was talking to. Her am literally weighing all her options up about having kids with before it's too late and she was

going over her backups and I saw their chat about me. Basically the consensus was I was the shortest and oldest of her guys she was seeing but I had the best prospects most stable job, best personality. most common interests, funny, good in bed and good looking even if I'm not her usual type. So she said she was going to give it a go and her friend encouraged her, then I guess we started dating. The messages stopped when she was starting to go through her mastectomies and got a new phone. I just went like what the fuck babe out loud and she initially was clueless but realized what phone I had. She was mortified and she was spiraling trying to explain herself but not making much sense. I literally told her to shut up, grabbed my stuff and walked out. I've booked into a BNB and

I've been staying here for a couple of days. She's been messaging me, sending video messages literally begging. Me to come home crying so we can talk, I can't face it. I feel so effing humiliated and used. I've gone from the happiest I've been in years to feeling like my last couple of years is a bit of a lie. I keep going through the messages on one hand and thinking of the way she's been in the past few months on the other telling me how much she's in love with me, how happy she is. She wouldn't change the past couple of years and how much she's looking forward to starting a family with me. me, saying things like she has an actual crush on me, even just sends me texts with a love hard on, I literally don't know what to do. Do I go back and talk? Or wait it out until she has the baby then

go back and discuss it then? I am a literal mess Reddit. Edited to add an update you're all right. I shouldn't just walk out and leave her while she's so vulnerable. I'm going to go home at least and be with her until the baby is here and we'll see what happens there. Can't say I know long term how I'll feel and what will happen or that I'm that happy but will tackle that when it comes. Now on to another story. My ex left me after a cancer diagnosis three years ago and wants to be involved in my life and friends again. I am very conflicted and not sure what to do. I met my ex almost seven years ago and we started casually seeing each other around 2018. Our relationship was very chaotic and unhealthy in the beginning for reasons that I do not wish to disclose,

but I was at fault. I heard her really bad and we ended up ruining our friendship. We stopped talking for a period of time and then I finally reached out after almost a year realizing that I missed what we had. She was reluctant, but we gave it a go. Our relationship for that period was fulfilling and I was very much in love with her. It felt safe and loving, however, I wasn't very sure how realistic things were. We got back together right before the pandemic started so there wasn't a whole lot for us to do except spend time together. My ex was struggling a bit with some life choices and what to do next. Her family as well was going through a very difficult period with her parents splitting and her dad moving abroad for work, her relationship. with her mother is not great either. She wasn't in school and was unsure of her career path.

I, on the other hand, was doing a dual degree at a very prominent college, a D-1 varsity athlete and was planning on going to an Ivy League school for my master's. I never brought this up to her or made her less and I always actively encourage her to go back to school, which she did. I love her very much and cared about her a lot because she made me feel safe and loved. In July 2020, I started having some symptoms around my groin during training after a bad session and went in for an MRI. It was determined that I had torn my groin, so I went in for an operation shortly after. Before the oar, my doctor did some blood work that came back very skeptical and during the oar they found a tumor in my groin. It was cancerous, but they caught it very early on

so the prognosis was okay. However, the treatment was not good. I couldn't train anymore and was only working. And doing my classes online, three weeks after the surgery and after introducing me to her family. My ex comes to my place and breaks up with me saying the spark is gone. She doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to work on this. I absolutely broke down mentally and was crushed. She went on to move on within a couple of hours when my friend found her Tinder and I was devastated to make things much more difficult. A week later, my best friend from childhood dies in his sleep, I told her we could evaluate things after a month, but I was so crushed slash hurt that I ended up cutting all ties that the next few months were mentally the darkest period of my life. Eventually,

I was cleared to start training again and was doing classes online due to the pandemic, but mentally I was fucked up, a lot of therapy, crying and mental breakdowns. I moved on with someone else, but that relationship ended shortly because it wasn't fair for her to be put through what I was going through during this. Time, my ex was bragging to our mutual friends about how she was really enjoying her slut phase and that she was happy she left me. She also went and slept with my former best friend who she knew hurt me very much in my past and I found out about it which crushed me, coupled with her accidentally running into me at some of the spots I frequent, I was very angry and upset. Since then I graduated with two degrees. Got accepted into an Ivy League

school for my master's and started a really good job. I healed a lot through therapy and working on myself and even got go to qualify for a major sporting event. Lo, and behold, while all of this is happening, she decides to reach recently and tells me how proud she is of me and then asked if we could talk and have coffee, that she misses our friendship and wants to be involved in my life. Prior to this, she was going around and telling my mutual friends that she was having second thoughts and was thinking of reaching out to talk to me, this is all. While she's in a relationship with someone else and I find that downright disrespectful, my mind is telling me to call her out and tell her to leave me alone, but my heart feels another

way, I know she hurt me a lot, but I loved her a lot. I do not know what to do, update. My ex left me after a cancer diagnosis three years ago and wants to be involved in my life and friends again. I just want to start this post by saying thank you to those Reditors that had some advice and were supportive. I read through most of the comments and I have to say, wow, I did not expect that. Shortly after I wrote this post, I had a breakdown which was not good. My ex triggered me because it brought back a lot of those feelings of abandonment, inadequacies, and feeling like shit. It felt like a slap in my FNG face to leave at my worst and now is, wanting to be a part of my life when I am at the highest moment. Luckily, I had support from my family,

friends and therapists who talked me through this period. My family and friend absolutely despise her and thank God for them that I did not crawl back. I read through what I wrote again and I am shocked at what cognitive dissonance I was experiencing at the time. So after a couple of days, I went back into my journals and read out what I wrote about that experience. It was heartbreaking, to say the least. Someone here someone mentioned codependency and feeling guilt which is exactly what was going on. I was toxic and not good to her before we started dating, but I did a lot of work to become a better person. I felt emotionally guilty and responsible and thus allowed this to happen. I did truly care and loved her, but what happened post-breakup is not something anyone

ever if Ingy deserves. The one person who hurt me and she slept with him right after we broke up, that just showed her true colors. I loved somebody who I never knew. Another thing that shocked me is reading over my journal that I had while we were together, the comments that she made about, me being fat, despite being an athlete, and dressing poorly. Some even of the racial comments she made about how she once mixed babies and fetishized me, I am biracial. She even deleted her BLM posts the day we broke up too despite being so much of an advocate for it. This was so effed up on many levels and I am going to need extensive therapy to overcome that, I am lost for words and do not know where to begin. So what did I do, I told her in an assertive and kind manner not to contact me

again and that it was disingenuous what was going on. I know some redditors told me not to do this, but I did not enforce the boundaries post breakup and she violated many of them, including following my mutual friends and asking about my well-being people she never met before, so I had to draw the line at that. She's blocked off everything and it will stay that way. I am never going back to that again, started full on therapy again. Today on a weekly basis and really going back to healing before I can be involved with someone again. Funny enough, I ran into her former friend today, and she word for word said you can do so much better than that shit. I am going to take that advice and move forward now. Good things have only happened so far in my life and it will continue to

get better.