Reddit Stories - My partner DEMANDED that I enroll my CHILDREN in a RESIDENTIAL school so

Episode Date: June 28, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #parenting #family #education #controversialSummary: My partner DEMANDED that I enroll my CHILDREN in a RESIDENTIAL school so. It caused a huge conflict as I strongly opposed the idea. The situation escalated, leading to a difficult decision that tested our relationship and parenting values.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, parenting, family, education, controversial, conflict, decision, values, children, partner, residential school, demand, disagreement, communication, compromise, emotionsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner demanded that I enroll my children in a residential school so that her sibling could use their bedrooms, so I asked her to leave and her sibling took all their belongings. Her bank account and disappeared. I'm Allen, 42. Widower Got two great kids, Dale, he's 10, and Dana, she's eight. Their mom, my late wife, passed away four years ago.

It's been tough, But we've managed, the three of us. We have our routines, our little life. About two years ago, I met Carla. She's 38. Seemed like a breath of fresh air at first. She was understanding about my situation. The kids were a bit wary initially, which is natural, but Carla put on a good show.

She'd bring them little gifts, ask about their day, help with homework sometimes if she was over. After about a year and a half, things felt serious enough, and I proposed. Wedding was supposed to be in three months. The kids? Well, they weren't over the moon about a stepmom, but they weren't hostile either. The main other character in this mess is Carla's brother, Sean. He's about 35, I think. Classic deadbeat.

Never held down a job for more than a few months. always some sob story, always needing alone, a place to crash. Carla, she's always enabled him. Always. That was a bit of a pink flag, I suppose, but I figured it was her family, her business, as long as it didn't spill too much into our lives. So, we got engaged. Wedding plan started.

And almost immediately, the mentions of Sean started becoming more frequent. Oh, Sean's lease is up soon, or Sean's having a hard time finding a new place, or Sean's really trying to get his life together, he just needs a stable environment. I'd nod, make sympathetic noises, but didn't really engage. My house is a three-bedroom. My bedroom, Dale's room, Dana's room. It's comfortable for us. There's no spare room for a grown man.

Then, about six months ago, Carla started suggesting Sean could stay with us for just a little while. I shut that down politely but firmly. Said it wouldn't be fair to the kids, space issues, stability for them was key. She dropped it, but she looked. Tight-lipped. A couple of months later, she brought it up again. This time, more insistently. She argued that my house was big enough, it's not a man.

just a regular suburban house, and that Sean would be no trouble at all. I asked where he'd sleep. She vaguely gestured around. I again said no, that the kids needed their space and their routine, and having a virtual stranger, especially one with his track record, living with us was out of the question. We had our first real fight about it. She accused me of not being supportive of her family. I told her my kids came first, always. The wedding planning continued, but there was attention now. She'd make little digs. Then, about two months ago, she dropped the bombshell.

She suggested we could convert the kids' playroom into a bedroom for Sean. I was stunned. I asked her if she was serious. She said Sean really needed this chance. I told her my kids needed their childhood space more. The arguments became more frequent. She started painting me as selfish, uncaring. She'd say things like, family is supposed to help each other, Alan.

I'd reply, my primary family is my children, Carla. And you're supposed to be joining our family, not sacrificing it for your brother. Then, about a month ago, she came up with the solution that led to all this. She sat me down, all serious, and said she'd figured it all out. We could send Dale and Dana to boarding school. She said it'd be good for them, they'd get a top-tier education, become more independent. And the best part? It would free up both their rooms.

Sean could have one, and we could use the other as a guest room or an office for her. She was actually smiling when she said it, like she'd solved world peace. I just stared at her. I asked her if she could hear herself. My kids, who've already lost their mother, who are just getting used to the idea of her being in their lives, she wanted to ship them off so her layabout brother could move in. I was trying to keep my voice even, but it was hard. She doubled down, said it was a perfectly reasonable solution. That Sean was family and he was struggling, and we were in a position to help.

She said if I truly loved her, I'd understand and support her on this. She then said that having the kids away during the week, and some weekends, would give us more time together, make our marriage stronger. She was actually trying to spin it as a benefit for our relationship. That's when I lost it. Not shouting, not initially. I just told her, very calmly, that there was no way on God's green earth that my children were being sent away from their home. Not for her brother, not for anyone. I told her their home was their safe place, and I wouldn't take that from them. She started to get angry then, said I was being deliberately obstructive, that I didn't care

about her happiness or her family. She said Sean had nowhere else to go and if he ended up on the street, it would be on my conscience. Then came the ultimatum. She didn't scream it, but her voice was cold as ice. Alan, you need to decide what's more important. Us, our future, my brother getting the help he needs. We're clinging to this idea that the kids have to be under your roof 24 to 7. If you're not willing to make this compromise for our family, then I don't think there can be a wedding. I don't think I can marry a man who is this selfish. I looked at her, and it was like a switch flipped.

The woman I thought I was going to marry, she wasn't there. All I saw was someone who would casually discard my children's well-being for her screw-up brother. I stood up. I told her, you're right, Carla. There can't be a wedding. Her face went from angry to shocked. What are you saying? I'm saying it's over, I said.

The wedding's off. And you need to leave my house. Both of you. Sean had apparently been invited over by her that afternoon, probably to scope out his new potential digs, and he was lurking in the kitchen. He'd heard most of it, I guess. Carla just stammered, you, you can't be serious. I've never been more serious in my life, I told her.

I want you and your brother out of my house. Tonight. Sean, who'd been quiet, piped up from the kitchen doorway, Hey man, that's not cool. Carla's just trying to help me out. He took a few steps towards me but I walked right up to him. He's a bit shorter than me, Scrony. You think it's cool to kick kids out of their rooms?

To send them away from their father. Get your stuff, whatever you brought here, and get out. Both of you. Carla started crying then. Alan, please. Don't do this. We can talk about it. We just did, Carla, I said.

You gave me an ultimatum. I made my choice. My kids stay. You go. That's the end of the discussion. I walked to the front door and opened it. Out. It was an ugly scene. Carla wept, pleaded, then got angry again, called me names. Said I'd tricked her, let her on. Sean tried to argue, saying I was being unreasonable, that Carla loved me. I just stood there, holding the door open. I told them if they weren't out in ten minutes, I was calling the cops to have them trespassed. That seemed to get through to Sean, at least. He started gathering a few things Carla had moved in over the months, clothes, toiletries, sun knick-knacks.

She was still trying to argue with me, but I wasn't engaging. I just kept repeating, get your things and go. It took about an hour. An hour of her crying, him muttering, both of them occasionally glaring at me. I didn't help them. I just watched. When they finally walked out the door, Carla gave me one last look, full of. I don't know, hate.

Despair. I didn't care anymore. I just closed the door behind them. The first thing I did, was call a 24-hour locksmith. Had all the locks changed that night. Cost a bit, but peace of mind is priceless. Carla had a key, obviously. Didn't want any surprise visits. The next day, I called the wedding vendors. Started canceling everything. Just a few deposits, which stung, but it was better than the alternative. Explaining to my parents, my late wife's parents, my friends,

That was awkward. I kept it simple, Carla and I had a fundamental disagreement about the kids' welfare. It couldn't be resolved. The wedding is off. Most people were shocked but supportive. A few of Carla's friends tried to call me, probably to plead her case or chew me out. I didn't answer. Telling the kids was hard.

I sat them down and told them that Carla wouldn't be living with us and that the wedding wasn't happening. Dana asked why. I told them that Carla wanted some things that weren't good for them, and I wouldn't let that happen. Dale, he's a quiet kid, just nodded. Dana looked a bit sad for a minute, then asked if this meant she didn't have to share the playroom. I told her no, the playroom was all theirs. They seemed more relieved than anything, honestly.

Carla tried calling and texting for a few days. The smell was full of tears, then anger, then pleading again. I didn't respond. After about a week, they stopped. It's been about two months since that night. Life has, settled. It's quieter. The kids seem more relaxed. We've gone back to our old routines. Movie nights, building Lego castles, Dale's soccer games, Dana's art class. It feels like a weight has been lifted, even though the whole thing was a stress. mess. I haven't heard directly from Carla or Sean. I assumed they were staying with one of her parents or another sibling. Then, yesterday, I got a call from a mutual acquaintance, someone who

was friends with both me and Carla. Let's call her Holly. Holly sounded, uncomfortable. She told me she'd run into Carla, and Carla was a wreck. Apparently, shortly after I kicked them out, Carla had managed to scrape together enough money to get a small apartment for her and Sean. She'd used most of her savings, cashed in some bonds or something she had. She was trying to make it work. About a week ago, Sean vanished. Took every cent Carla had left. Cleared out her bank account, took her credit cards, even pawned some jewelry she had,

including a necklace from her grandmother. He just disappeared. Left a note saying, he was sorry, but he needed a fresh start and this was the only way. Carla is apparently devastated. Broke, about to be evicted, a complete emotional wreck. Holly said she's barely functioning. Holly didn't directly ask me to do anything, but the implication was there.

She kept saying how awful it was for Carla, how she'd lost everything. And here's the thing, the reason I'm writing this. I listened. I said, that's terrible for her. And I meant it, on inhuman level. It is a terrible thing to happen to someone. But mostly, I feel nothing. No sympathy for Carla.

No urge to help. If anything, there's a small, dark part of me that feels a grim sense of, not satisfaction. Not satisfaction, exactly, but validation. She made her bed with her brother, prioritized him over my kids, over me, over common sense. And he did exactly what anyone with half a brain could have predicted he'd do. Am I a complete bastard for this? Am I supposed to feel sorry for her? Because I really, really don't.

Just needed to know if I'm the only one who'd react this way. Update 1. Hey everyone. Alan again. It's been about three weeks since my original post. First off, thanks. Seriously. I didn't expect that many responses, or for so many of you to get it.

Reading through your comments it helped. Not going to lie, I was half expecting to get ripped to shreds for being cold, but most of you understood where I was coming from. It's good to know you're not entirely alone in your thinking. A lot of you asked for more details, or have you. had questions, so I'll try to cover some of the common ones. My late wife's passing. A few of you gently asked about my late wife, and how she passed. I don't talk about it much, but it's central to understanding why I am the way I am about my kids. She died four years ago

in a car accident. A drunk driver hit her head on. She was gone instantly. One minute she was on her way home from work, the next, she wasn't. Dale and Dana were extremely young. It shattered our world. Seeing my kids try to comprehend that their mom wasn't coming back, dealing with their grief and fear while drowning in my own. It's an experience that marks you permanently. It's why their home, their routine, their sense of security is an absolute, ironclad priority for me. Some asked if there were other incidents with Sean before the move in demand. Yeah, plenty. Nothing that directly impacted me or the kids before this, because I kept a firm boundary. But I'd heard the stories from Carla. Him getting fired for stealing from a till at one

job. Him totaling a car that wasn't his, and running off. Him borrowing money from relatives with no intention of paying it back. The list goes on. Carla always had an excuse for him, he was misunderstood. good, unlucky, had a tough childhood, which, from what I gathered, wasn't significantly tougher than Carla's own. She was his chief enabler, always cleaning up his messes. I see now that she was probably planning to make me his new safety net. Big mistake on her part. Carl's financial situation Before Sean robbed her, she had a decent job, not rolling in it, but comfortable. She had some savings, as I mentioned. The bonds she cashed and were apparently something her parents had set up for her years ago.

She wasn't destitute before Sean cleaned her out, but she wasn't super wealthy either. She definitely put a lot on the line to set up the department for him and her. Wedding Deposits Yeah, lost a fair chunk. Venue, caterer, photographer. Some gave partial refunds, others had non-refundable clauses. It's galling, but honestly, it's a small price to pay for the freedom and peace of mind I have now. Cheaper than a divorce, right?

Why I think she enabled Sean, I've thought about this a lot, even before I posted. Guilt, maybe. Some kind of misplaced family loyalty. Maybe she was scared of him in some way, or, or scared of him failing so spectacularly that it reflected on her. Or maybe she genuinely believed his sob stories every single time. Honestly, I don't know the deep psychology of it. But it was like a blind spot for her, a huge one.

She couldn't, or wouldn't, see him for what he was. Some asked if Sean got physical when I kicked them out. Not exactly a fight. When I told him to get out, he puffed his chest out a bit, said some. something like, you can't just kick us out, Carl is your fiancé. He took a step towards me, like he was going to try and push past me or intimidate me. But I walked towards him, I didn't raise my voice, just stood my ground and told him, she was my fiancé. Now she's someone who needs to leave my property, and so do you. Try me. He must have seen something in my face, because he

backed down pretty quick. He's all bluster, that one. No real steel. Just a leech. I was fully prepared to physically remove him if necessary, but it didn't come to that. Just a tense moment. Reading your comments solidified what I already felt. I did the right thing. Not just for my kids, but for myself. Some of you pointed out red flags I glossed over with Carla, beyond the Sean stuff, like how quickly she wanted to change our family dynamic to suit her needs, rather than integrating into ours. That resonated. The whole situation with her life collapsing. I've replayed it in my head. Do I feel bad that a human being is suffering? Yes, on a basic level. But do I feel bad for Carla in a way that makes me want to intervene or makes me

regret my actions? Absolutely not. She made a conscious choice to prioritize her deadbeat brother over her fiancé and his grieving children. She gambled and she lost. The fact that the instrument of her downfall was the very person she championed just makes it. Tragically predictable. Someone in the comment said something like, you didn't cause her problems, you just refused to be one of her solutions. That hit home. I wasn't put on this earth to rescue Carla from her own bad judgment, especially when that judgment threatened my kids. So, after Holly's call, I thought about what to do, if anything. A few days later, Holly called again. She was more direct this time. She said Carla was in a truly desperate state, about to be homeless, and asked if I could find it in my heart to at least

offer her some financial help, for old time's sake. She suggested maybe I could cover her rent for a month or two. I listened patiently. Then I told Holly, no, I said, Holly, Carla made her choices. Her brother was more important to her than my children's well-being and our future together. She told me to send my kids to boarding school so he could live in their rooms. That's not something I forgive or forget. Her current situation is a direct consequence of her actions and his. It's not my responsibility to fix it. Holly got a bit frosty.

She said I was being harsh and unforgiving. I replied, I'm being realistic. And I'm protecting my family. My kids are my priority. They will always be my priority. Carla knew that, or should have. I told her that Carla has other family, parents, other siblings, I think she has a sister. They can help her if they choose.

I also told Holly, politely but firmly, that I didn't want any more updates on Carla's situation. I've moved on, and I need to keep it that way for my own peace and for my kids. She huffed a bit, said fine, and hung up. I haven't heard from her since. I also took the step of blocking Carla's number on my phone. I hadn't initially, because her calls had stopped. But after Holly's intervention, I figured Carla might try to contact me directly in her desperation, and I just don't want that drama.

I also blocked her on the few social media things we were connected on. Clean break The immediate outcome of telling Holly no and blocking Carla. Peace. A continued sense of calm in my house. The kids are happy, settled. Dale's been asking about summer camp. Dana's drawing pictures of our family, just the three of us, smiling.

That says everything. My ex-almost mother-in-law, Carla's mom, actually called me a few days ago. I was surprised she had my number, but I guess Carla gave it to her. She didn't yell. She was. Resigned. She asked if I knew where Sean was. I said no.

She sighed and said he'd done this kind of thing before, but never this bad. She didn't ask me for anything for Carla. Just seemed to want to vent a little to someone who knew the situation. I kept it brief, polite, and detached. I was sorry for their family's troubles, but that I was no longer involved. She understood. That was. surprisingly less dramatic than I expected.

So, yeah. Life goes on. Better, in fact. Update 2. Well, folks, it's Alan again. Probably for the last time on this particular saga. It's been just over a year now since that original post, about 10 or 11 months since my last update. A lot of water under the bridge, or rather, a lot of peaceful, normal life live.

Thank God. Life in our house is normal. And normal feels fantastic. Dale is 11 now, finished fifth grade with flying colors. Dana turned 9, and she's become quite the little gymnast. They're happy. They barely mention Carla anymore, and if they do, it's in a sort of distant, oh yeah, dad's friend who was going to marry him but then didn't kind of way. No trauma, no lingering sadness. Just. An event that happened and then passed. I handled it the right way for them, I'm more sure of that than ever. Me? I'm good. Focusing on work, on the kids. Haven't really dated. Not in a rush. This whole experience with Carla made me a lot more cautious, a lot more aware of red flags. If I ever do get serious with someone again, they're going to have to be an

extraordinary who understands that my kids are, and always will be, package deal number one, two, and three. No compromises on that, ever again. Now, about Carla and Sean. I didn't go looking for information, but bits and pieces found their way to me, mostly through the grapevine before I completely shut down Holly, and one accidental encounter. Sean, as far as anyone knows, is still in the wind. Gone. Vanished with Carla's money. No one in her family has heard from him. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.

He's probably off conning someone else by now. That's his M.O. Carla. Well, her situation is pretty grim, from what I've pieced together. After Sean robbed her, she did get evicted. Holly had mentioned she was on the verge. She apparently stayed with her parents for a bit, but that didn't last long. Her relationship with them is strained, to say the least, partly because of Sean, partly because, according to one snippet I heard, she blamed them for how Sean turned out,

which didn't go over well. About six months ago, I was at a large hardware store in a neighboring town, picking up supplies for a treehouse project deal and I were starting. And I saw her. Carla She was working as a cashier. She looked. rough, tired. She was wearing a standard issue store vest that didn't fit well. Her hair was just

pulled back, none of the careful styling she used to do. She saw me as I was in line. There was this flicker of something in her eyes, recognition, shame, maybe anger, I don't know. I just nodded curtly, paid for my stuff, with a different cashier, I moved lines, and left. She didn't try to speak to me. I didn't try to speak to her. It was a strange, uncomfortable moment. Felt like looking at a ghost from a past life. I heard later, through a very persistent distant acquaintance who cornered me at a community event before I could escape, and who I have since learned to avoid like the plague, that she's living in a tiny, run-down apartment, barely making ends meet. Apparently, she's alienated a lot of her old friends because she's either constantly asking for money or just radiating bitterness.

The job she had. Gone. The stress of her situation, the unreliability after Sean did his thing, it all caught up with her. She lost that job months ago. The cashier gig is probably all she can get right now. There's no satisfaction in seeing someone brought that low, not really. But there's also no pity for my end. She engineered her own downfall. She had a choice, a stable, life with me and a welcoming, if initially cautious, family, or a gamble on her deadbeat brother. She chose poorly. The universe, or just cause and effect, delivered the consequences. Her brother was the catalyst, but her choices were the foundation of her current misery. I had one more interaction related to her, indirectly.

About two months ago, I got a letter. It was from a lawyer. Not addressed to me threateningly, but an inquiry. Carla was apparently trying to declare bankruptcy or was being pursued for debts, and they were trying to track down assets or something along those lines. They were asking if she had any property or financial interest remaining at my address, or if there were any joint accounts I was aware of from our engagement period. I wrote back a very simple letter, Ms. Carla's last name, has no property or financial interest at my address.

All joint ventures or plans were terminated on, date I kicked her out. We have no shared accounts. That was it. End of story. So, that's it. The chapter is well and truly closed. My kids are thriving, and that's all the feel good I need. I made some hard choices, faced some ugliness, but I have no regrets about how I handled the core situation.

Thanks again to everyone who read, commented, and offered perspective. It was an unexpected source of clarity during a pretty messed up time. This will be my final update on this. Time to just focus on the good stuff, raising my kids and building that tree house. Peace out. Alan.