Reddit Stories - My partner used up all my AVAILABLE credit PURCHASING costly clothes without INFORMING

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationshipadvice #moneyproblems #boundaries #communication #trustissues My partner spent all my available credit on expensive clothes without informing me. This breach of trust has left me feeling betrayed and frustrated. I am unsure how to address this issue and whether it reflects deeper problems in our relationship. Open communication seems essential moving forward. redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationshipadvice, moneyissues, trust, boundaries, communication, spendinghabits, financialresponsibility, couples, conflictresolution, emotionalhealth, personalfinance, advice, relationships, partnerissues, creditcardsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner used up all my available credit purchasing costly clothes without informing me, then claimed that my finances were also theirs because we are planning to marry, so I decided to walk away, and now, she's screaming at me in public saying I can't break off our engagement. So my fiancé Alice, 26F, and I, 28M, have been engaged for the past couple of months and for the past few weeks, she's been quite busy with wedding shopping and stuff. Now we have been together for the past two years, but she has never behaved like this, so her current state of mind is quite weird and unusual for me and I just can't get with it.

Ever since we got engaged, she's been obsessing over the wedding like crazy, and it seems like she's hardly the same person anymore. Look, it's normal for somebody to be excited about the wedding, but I don't think that it's normal for them to only talk about the wedding and never show any interest in anything else at all. And on top of that, she wants to be so extra extra extravagant that she doesn't even care if she ends up going over budget in her plans. It's been a strain on everyone, including her own parents, and we've been bickering a lot more than usual. Things have gone to the extent where I had actually started rethinking our whole relationship and what happened earlier this week just ruined everything.

So basically, she had maxed out my credit card while shopping for wedding outfits, not just for herself, but also for her self, but also for her own. all her bridesmaids. She has ten bridesmaids, her sisters and cousins, some friends from high school and college, and a co-worker. Now that's not the real problem, but the issue is that if she has that many bridesmaids and she wants to buy the bridesmaids' outfits for them, then I believe that money should be coming out of her pocket. She and I have different careers, and granted, I do make more money than her, but I had given her the credit card just for wedding-related purchases like flowers and cakes and stuff like that, not for the bridal party. Her bridesmaids are not my responsibility, and I found it odd that she had blown such a crazy amount of money on their

outfits, because she had gone to the most expensive bridal boutique that she knew of. And she didn't even bother telling me about it on that day. I found out about it recently, and we got into a huge fight about it. I told her that we could not afford this kind of lavishness, and she needed to control her expenses, and most importantly, she needed to cover the cost of the outfits themselves. She said that I was being petty, and that now that we were going to be married, my money was her money too, and I couldn't be so selfish about it. So I told her that she was the one being selfish, and things just got out of control. She started telling me that if I did take back, but I had said she was going to cancel the wedding altogether. And by then, I was sick of everything, so I told her

go ahead and do it, because I just didn't care anymore about what happened. Even after I said that, she did not stop fighting with me, so I started packing my stuff. She did not try to stop me from doing that either, and eventually, I just packed whatever stuff I needed for the next few days, got into my car and left, so I could stay with my parents for a couple of days and clear my head. That was two days back, and after our fight, she did not try to contact me, but today, on the third day, finally reached out to me and started asking me if I would actually not come back. The wedding is supposed to take place in a couple of months, there is still some time left to go, but honestly, I don't feel like going back to her.

She has changed drastically ever since I proposed, and I don't feel like I'm living with the same person anymore. So I told her on the phone today that I did not think it would be a good idea for us to write now, I told her that I needed a break, because after the last fight, it was pretty much the last straw for me, and the fact that she did not even try to stop me and sort things out, it hurt a lot. It felt like the wedding was more important to her than our relationship, and I felt like I needed to re-evaluate things. But after I said that, she's been begging me to come back home and has said that she's going to change for the better, and try to understand where I'm coming from, and she said that she is sorry about everything. But I still feel like I need

some time, yet I feel like a jerk telling her that I need to think about it, even after she has apologized profusely so many times now. I'm very confused, do you guys think I'm doing the right thing? Ida for wanting to take some time away from my fiancé after we had a big fight. Update 1. Hi, thank you to whoever commented on my post. It really validated my decision, and I have decided to take some time off for now, because I really don't think that going back to her at the moment is the best thing to do for me personally. Whatever has been happening for the past couple of months, ever since we got engaged, it has really taken its toll on me, and I don't think that I can keep up. Honestly, I have been re-evaluating our relationship,

and even though before we got engaged, everything was pretty fine, things have changed significantly by now, and I think that I need some time to decide whether I want to get married to her or not. It is, after all, a huge decision and I don't want to do it just because I've already proposed. Things were different when I proposed, and they are different right now, and this is what I tried to explain to her the last time that we spoke. Three days have passed since my last update and after my update, I did not talk to her, even though she kept trying to call and text me. But yesterday, in the evening, I did call her up just so I could say all these things to her.

because I felt like I needed to get these things off my chest. I thought that I was being perfectly reasonable, but clearly, she did not agree with that. While I was trying to explain my side of things to her and why I needed a break to re-evaluate, she started telling me that I was overreacting and that fight over the credit card and the outfits had just been a tiny little blip that was never going to happen again, so I don't need to worry so much about it. She told me that she was going to return the money to me, and we could go ahead with the wedding smoothly without worrying about small stuff like this. It was quite exasperating, because it felt like she wasn't getting my point at all. It was not about the credit card

being maxed out or about the wedding outfits, it was about her behavior, and unless she understands that, I don't know how I'm going to deal with this problem at hand. It's not even like I did try to explain it properly to her, I explained to her the same way I spoke about it in the previous paragraph. I think it's simple enough to understand, but she just didn't seem to get it. And after a while, it felt like we were just talking in circles, and she was arguing with me just because she wanted to prove herself right. She didn't actually have a point, but she just wanted to make it sound like whatever had happened was not a big deal and she wanted to gaslight me into actually believing that I was the one overreacting. She was basically just

downplaying everything that had happened up until this point, just so that I could come back to her, and we could go ahead with the wedding. Even then, I felt like the wedding was far more important to her than our relationship and our marriage in the future. I don't even think she was thinking about the long-term things, she was not thinking of what we were getting into as a marriage, she was only focused on the wedding part of it. I don't think she understands that once the wedding is over, that's just it. We have to build a life together, not just impress a bunch of people who will be attending

our wedding. I feel like she has her priorities all wrong, and every time that we have tried to point this out to her, she doesn't seem to get it. I don't understand how I'm going to make it work with her, I honestly have no idea anymore now. Update 2, hi, so speaking to her on the phone did not work. So I invited her over for lunch today, but I did not want to speak to her at home because my parents would be around. And I did not want her to throw a tantrum, so I chose a public place, but I did not want her to throw a tantrum, so I chose a public place, that did not help either. It's been a couple of days since my last update, and after that last phone call, where she refused to understand what I was getting at, I told her that I still needed

some time to think. And for the past couple of days, unlike before, she did not text me. Today, I texted her in the morning, and I told her that I would like to meet for lunch and discuss what was happening with us. She agreed, we met, we made some small talk, which was pretty awkward, but then, I told her that given the circumstances of our relationship right now, I did not think it would be the best idea for us to go ahead and get married. For the past two years, we had been together, and everything had been great. But I had never seen this side of hers. We have been living together for one year, and even then, this toxic, controlling, and just straight-up selfish side of hers, had never come to the surface. It was only during the wedding planning that

she started acting like this, and I need to take this into consideration before I commit to her for the rest of my life. For me, and in general also, marriage is a huge deal. I told her that she had been hurting everybody around her for the past couple of months, ever since she got engaged, and the fact that she did not realize it was crazy. Even her own parents agreed that she had been acting strangely, and she needed to acknowledge that because otherwise, if she didn't even admit that she had a problem right now, then we would never be able to solve it. I was trying to keep my cool while talking to her, even though she kept trying to interrupt me and got very defensive while I was talking. She kept saying that she was acting the same way she had always

been, and she didn't understand what everyone was talking about, and she said that everybody was overreacting. So in the end, it was just that she really believed that everyone else was wrong and she was the only person who was right. But then, we have been together for two years, so I still thought it was worth a shot to try and talk to her and get her to see what was going wrong. So no matter how she behaved, I sat there with her for about half an hour, and I kept trying to go back and forth with her, trying to get her to see what she was doing wrong. After a while, no matter how calmly I tried to talk to her, she just lost it. She started screaming at me in the restaurant, saying that I had no idea what I was saying,

and she said that I couldn't just break off our engagement by one stupid little fight. She told me that I was being extremely petty and selfish, and that her mistake of maxing out my credit card while shopping for the wedding could not possibly be the reason why I was choosing to take time off of our relationship. She said that this was our relationship, and it was not a corporate job that I could just take some time away from whenever I wanted to, and she needed an answer right now about whether we were going to get married or not because otherwise, she did not want to waste her time and energy on me. She told me that given my attitude, she was pretty sure that I was involved

with somebody else, and that's why I was being so skeptical about getting married to her, and I was just coming up with excuses and trying to gaslight her into believing that she was the one at fault here. She was pretty loud, and she was crying, and everybody in the restaurant started looking at us. It was really embarrassing, so I decided to leave without replying to her before we got kicked out, and she came after me. I was about to get into my car, but then she stopped me there, and she demanded an answer from me, and by then, I had lost my temper too. So I started screaming at her, and I told her that given how she was behaving right now, I had no interest in getting married to her. And it was actually a good thing that she had

chosen to show us this crazy side of her while we were engaged, because now that I know this, there is no way I'm getting married to her anymore. I told her that I had tried to salvage our relationship by taking some time away because I needed some time to think about whether I wanted to go ahead with this or not since for me, I was not just thinking about the wedding, I was thinking about our lives together. And clearly, she was not able to understand that.

She only cared about the wedding and about impressing everyone around her. Which is why she was ready to throw away whatever we had, just for the sake of a fancy wedding. Once again, she started telling me that I was being selfish and that she had already said that she would return the money to me that she had spent on the wedding outfits so I didn't need to freak out about it. And it literally took me all that I had not to scream in her face at that point because it was so frustrating.

Once again, I had to tell her that it was not about the money, it was not about the credit card being maxed out or anything. It was just about her and how she was being in general, and if she couldn't see that, then I was done with her. I could not continue with this relationship, knowing that she just did not understand where the real problem even was. And then, I tried to get into my car again, but she stopped me, and she told me that after threw together,

I owed her an explanation at the very least, and she told me that she was not going to let me leave until I was honest with her. I kept telling her I was being honest with her, that her behavior was the reason that I did not want to be with her anymore. But she insisted that that could not be it, and she knew that there was something else going on. She just wanted me to say, even if it was a lie, that it was not her fault, and I knew that. But I was not going to play into her hands, whatever happened, I was not going to give her the satisfaction of hearing that it was not her fault.

It was her fault, and I needed her to know it. So we kept arguing for a while and after a couple of minutes, I told her that she was eventually going to have to let me go because she couldn't hold on to. to me for much longer and if I wanted to, I could just shake her off because I was actually physically stronger than her. But I do not want to overpower her, that is why I had held back. However, if she pushed me too far, then I definitely would shake her off, and I didn't want her to push me to that level so she had to let me go, since she had been holding onto me pretty tight. And no matter how hard she tried, it was not going to change my resolve, I had already decided

that I was going to call off the wedding and after how crazy she was acting, I think it was the best decision. So behaving like this was not going to make anything better, it was only going to make things worse and make me lose the little respect that I had for her. At that point, she finally let me go, and I got into my car as quickly as I could, and started driving back home. I came back home just about an hour ago, and then I blocked her everywhere, because I literally did not have anything left to say to her. I just wanted to be done with this whole thing, and I think once my parents come back home, I'm going to tell them whatever happened and I'm going to inform them that I'm calling off the wedding because after what happened today, there is just no way that I'm getting

married to this woman anymore. I don't know her, and I don't want to be with her anymore. Update 3. So my parents had left for dinner with their friends, and they came back to home about an hour ago, at midnight. It was pretty late, and I thought about pushing my announcement to tomorrow, but I just had to tell them because this was a pretty big deal. Thankfully, neither of them drank, so they were perfectly in their senses, but just a little exhausted. However, when I sat them down after they had freshened up, and I told them whatever had happened today, all their exhaustion disappeared immediately. They told me that I had absolutely done the right thing, and even though they had known her for the past two years, they had no idea

that she could behave like this. And it had come as a shock to me as well, so I can only imagine how surprised my parents must have felt. Honestly, she's not like this, she had never been like this before. I absolutely do not understand what has gotten into her, and for the past couple of hours, I have been feeling miserable because I knew that I was going to have to let her go and end our relationship. And no matter how she had behaved with me today, I just kept thinking about all the good times that we had spent together. But after speaking to my parents, I was sure that I was making the right choice right now. Because this was her before the wedding, I can only imagine what would happen after we got married. And I did not want to get married, only to get divorced

later on. If I'm not sure about her right now, then I don't think it's a good idea for me to get married to her. They comforted me when I started crying, which I finally allowed myself to do after a pretty long time. So far, I've been trying to hold on to my feelings and keep them all inside me, but today, after everything that happened, I just couldn't control myself. I ended up crying for about half an hour, I was sobbing miserably, and they were there with me. I was thankful that they were being so supportive, because I don't think I would have been able to get through it without their help and support. In a few days, I'm planning on going back home and collecting my things and then, I'll be moving out permanently. I'll end our lease on the home that we have been renting,

and we're going to have to call off all the arrangements that we had made so far. But it has to be done, it cannot be helped. I don't want to marry her, and I think at this point, we were probably never even that compatible. Update 4, hi, so two days ago, I met Alice and I broke off my engagement with her. After that, I blocked her, so she was not able to get in touch with me. And it was a good thing, because I did not want to speak to her anyway. Today, however, in the morning, I decided to unblock her because I wanted to tell her that in a couple of days, I would be coming back home to collect my things. She didn't reply for a couple of minutes, and then she told me that she had already locked up and left, so I could do whatever I wanted.

She also told me that she had spoken to her parents about whatever I had said, and they were very upset with me because I had chosen to end the engagement instead of talking things through with her, but she knew that in the end, I was going to be the one who was going to regret this the most. Now that she had been unblocked for a little while, and she had a window, she chose to take this opportunity and vent out all her frustrations. She told me that she hated the way she had been treated by me for the past couple of months, and she herself had been rethinking getting married to me. me anyway. That's why she had been pouring everything into the wedding, because she wanted something to distract herself from the fact that I was not the same with her anymore. I had no idea what she was referring to, because as far as I was concerned, I was absolutely definitely the same with her. I had not changed at all, but obviously, she wanted something to defend herself with, so she started making up things. She was basically trying to gaslight me once more,

but I'm sure of myself, it's not that easy to gaslight me. Anyway, she said that, and she also said that she knew for a fact that I must have been cheating on her with somebody else, which is why I did not want to get married to her anymore. Because she refuses to believe that it was her efforts that she had put into making the wedding perfect, that led me to believe that she was not good enough for me anymore. She told me that she was not going to be antagonized by me, and that she did not care if I left her or didn't love her anymore. She knew that she had tried her very best.

And if that was not good enough for me, it was actually just my loss and she didn't care about me anymore. It's weird that she said that she didn't care, and then she went on to send me such a long message. But anyway, I'm just relieved that she's not going to come at me anymore. Now, I just have to deal with the house, collect my things, and that'll be it, I'll be done. Update 5, hi, everyone. So a couple of days ago, I finally went over to my house, I collected my things with the help of a friend and had them move to my parents' house.

I also ended my lease agreement, so all the formal work has been done. Now just the wedding-related stuff needs to be cancelled, but my parents have told me that they are going to handle it so I'm not too worried about that. They thought it would be too much for me emotionally, so they have taken over that department, and I'm really grateful to them for it. I hadn't spoken to Alice for the last couple of days, after I blocked her when she sent that message. But today, I heard about her from a friend. One of our mutual friends had run into her at the grocery store and she didn't seem to be upset at all. She was actually quite happy and normal, and since we hadn't made any sort of formal announcement yet. This mutual friend was not aware of the fact that we had broken up.

So she asked about me, and that's when Alice told her that since I had. have been cheating on her, I ended up canceling the wedding without even having the decency to admit that I had been cheating. Obviously, this friend was quite shocked, because he didn't think that I would be the cheating type and so, when he was done speaking with Alice, he decided to contact me to find out what was going on. So I had to tell him the whole story, and he told me that I should really make a formal announcement before she starts spreading this version of things and pushes false narratives against me. And I decided to do that, because even though right now, I don't really care what anybody else thinks of me, I also don't want anybody else

to think that I'm a cheater. Because unlike this particular friend, everybody might not reach out to me to confirm the story. So in a couple of hours, I'm going to make it clear from my end that we have broken up. I'm not going to mention anything about the cheating bit, because I think I don't want to air our dirty laundry in public like that. But if she tries to say that again, then I'll definitely have to clarify the real reason why we have broken up. And that won't end up looking too good for her, so for her sake, I hope that she doesn't try to pull this stunt again. Anyway, the only thing that I'm planning on revealing is the fact that we have called off the engagement, but I'm not going to mention any reasons or whatever. I don't want to stoop

down to her level, because I still have some respect for whatever we shared in the past, even if she doesn't. Update 6, so hey, it's been close to six months since I broke her. up with Alice. I've been doing well enough, I forgot to post after my last update because I got too busy. I was grateful that my parents were cool with me, living with them, but obviously, I did not want to live with them on a long-term basis. So I started looking for an apartment and as soon as I found one, I moved out. And then, it was back to the usual grind. I also started working out more and reading more and just kept myself distracted in general. So I didn't really have time to post here.

But anyway, I did make the announcement that we had broken up. And just as I had expected, a couple of hours after that, she posted on her social media account that I had cheated on her. So I had to clarify that I did not in fact cheat on her, and I had to tell everyone the truth, even though I did not want to make things like this public because it was personal. But because she wanted to make me out to be the villain, I had to do it. It divided our friends, but the ones who took her side, I don't care about them anyway. I'm just lucky that the people who stuck by me believe me wholeheartedly, that's all that matters to me.

And I think the people on my side are about to increase exponentially because from what I know, Alice is now engaged to another man. It's just been six months since we broke up, and for the past few months, she had deactivated all her socials. Now, she came back a few days ago, and instantly posted about her engagement to this new guy who I have never even heard about. And apparently, they have been dating for the past two months. In the screenshot that people sent me, I noticed that her caption said that when the time is it's just right and she's finally grateful to be with the right person. Well, I hope it's the right person for her, because she was not the right person for me at all.

And I'm glad that I was able to dodge that bullet.