Reddit Stories - My PARTNER'S devout PARENTS INSISTED that I rest on their modest sofa due

Episode Date: July 15, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #familydrama #inlaws #couchsurfing #awkwardencountersSummary: My PARTNER'S devout PARENTS INSISTED that I rest on their modest sofa due to my back pain, but I ended up accidentally breaking it, leading to an uncomfortable confrontation and strained family dynamics.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, familydrama, inlaws, couchsurfing, awkwardencounters, backpain, confrontation, strainedfamily, uncomfortable, sofa, devoutparents, modest, accident, breaking, dynamicsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner's devout parents insisted that I rest on their modest sofa due to our unmarried status, so in return, I offered them the same arrangement when they visited, which my partner is now disclosing. Everyone I was abusive after we broke up. I, M25, and my girlfriend, F-26, have been together for about 4.5 years now. Her and I moved in together just over one year ago as well. We were going to after her degree, but a falling out with her roommate happened led to us moving in together a year early. Our relationship has been fine, we don't argue often, support each other's separate interests,

and overall living together has been quite hassle-free. The only thing that has caused minor arguments between us is that she hates confrontation. For example, she works as a supervisor part-time, and where she works the people being hired for her to train are paid more than her. She hasn't gotten a raise of any kind in over a year which is illegal. She refuses to bring it up to the manager, or anyone at all. This is frustrating especially since she moved into my place, she hasn't been able to afford to put anything forth. I own the place myself, including pay for our car insurance, gas, and pay all of the bills,

except we go 50 to 50 for groceries, and it's been tough for how much I get paid, because it's not a lot, but shouldn't be much longer. Anyways, her family and I have been decently close, they helped me move a couple years ago, they helped her move in last year, and we visit them for all major holidays and visit decently often since we got together. Her family and I only don't agree on one thing, which is my religion. I am not religious, but they are quite Christian, and my girlfriend is non-practicing, unknowingly to them.

So whenever I go over, they are over all the top on everything, my girlfriend's words, mine, on their religion, and constantly trying to force me to join them in their practices. And whenever I decline they say things under their breath like, oh, we will fix you, in a half-jokingly manner. But we have never visited long so it's never been much of an issue, usually only two to four hours at a time. They live around six hours away from us, in another city. My girlfriend moved to my city around seven years ago, before we met, this is where I believe, and everyone else, that I am being an asshole, and the current issue, we stayed at their house for the first time overnight a couple months ago, and while there for around six hours, it was all going

well till it got to around nighttime. They told me I should get the couch ready, and I was confused as my girlfriend has a room sizable for the both of us, so I questioned I thought I'd just sleep with, girlfriends and they declined, saying that our relationship wasn't at that level in their eyes. I accepted and did not want to argue, as it's their house and their rules. But I am quite tall, six feet six inches, and I grew a lot of that when I was young in an incredibly short amount of time, which resulted in a lot of medical back pain and issues for my entire life, and being unable to even do the sports I used to love. So I told them I wouldn't be able to sleep on the couch sadly, especially since it was barely

bigger than a love seat, but would be more than okay purchasing a room at a hotel for myself or myself and girlfriend. They also live within a couple minutes from some hotels, so I'd most likely be able to find the room close by, and they said I was turning it into way too big of a deal and to respect their beliefs, and after back and forth, they eventually said they give up and told me to sleep wherever I wanted and they were not happy, and went to bed themselves. I was going to purchase a hotel for myself, but my girlfriend got upset at me for attempting so I stayed on the couch, which resulted in zero sleep, and my back hurting for a couple days.

But I was at least able to watch some good movies. I, nor they brought it up the next day and we eventually left. Since then I felt quite quilty as my girlfriend said I shouldn't have argued in their house. Now months later, they were wondering if they could visit us and stay with us. My girlfriend and I agreed, of course. But before they arrived, I let them know that our couch, wasn't quite big enough for two people, and they were very confused. I told them they would be sleeping on the couch, and they asked why. I told them that I felt they didn't respect our relationship

to their standards, and I follow the rules under their house, so they should follow mine. They argued once again that since they are married, their relationship is more respected than ours. I told them that them being married doesn't mean that for me, and if they are coming to my house they have to follow the rules of such too. They ended up hanging up, and texting my girlfriend they would not come over until I would apologize to them, and was in the right mind. This led to my girlfriend and I arguing about this, and she agrees that their relationship is more respectable due to being married, and I told her that marriage isn't what grants

me respect for a relationship, it's the foundation it's built on, and how two people treat each other, and those around them. So, should I apologize, and allow them to sleep? in the spare bedroom? My girlfriend believes I am being incredibly childish, petty, and unreasonable. Which I definitely agree I am being petty, but I still just don't feel right allowing them to do whatever they want in my house. If they don't respect my relationship with their daughter. They were happy, and didn't say anything about us moving in, but feel weird in us sleeping in the same bed at their house which I found weird, but also never brought up.

Update 1, April 22nd, 2025 Hey, it's been 20 days, and I sort of forgot about this, but Reddit auto logged me in and reminded me, and thought I'd give an update, ask for more advice. So I read the comments, and it helped me realize from outside POVs that I was 110% being a petty asshole. I already sort of knew that, but hearing people with no connection to us confirm it helped open my eyes. I pulled my girlfriend aside the next day of my post and apologized, admitted I was being childish, petty, an asshole, and that I wasn't acting my age, I was more like acting a toddler not sharing toys. She agreed and laughed at my analogy, and forgave me as long as I called her parents,

which was my next plan anyways. I called her parents, said roughly the same thing, and they agreed, did not laugh, and told me that they will find another date in the future and reschedule staying with us. which I told them sounded great, and we hung up. All was well. But the comments, and some private messages helped me realize as well, that my girlfriend's not taking initiative was something I needed to seriously talk to her about and stop letting go if I planned on marrying her.

I thought of how to say everything I wanted to, etc., etc., and a day or two later I decided to talk to her. I told her how much I love her, the person she is, and brought up many things she brings to our relationship to start things out. I then brought up how if we are going to work more in a healthy manner as we get more serious and conjoined, things do need to be more equal between us. So I wanted to work on a compromise. I pay for everything, except 50 to zero groceries, I do the majority of the cooking and cleaning,

etc., as you all know. She got quite upset at this, and was trying to say she doesn't have value in our relationship, but I tried to reassure her, and the conversation sort of ended there. I stuck my ground and two days later, I brought it up again once the dust settled, and while the conversation was. Rocky, we worked on a compromise that she will ask her boss about the raise she deserves, will begin doing more of the cooking and cleaning. Not more than before, but more than me.

I asked her also if she would talk to her parents about the whole trying to convert me thing and well. Baby steps, not going to happen yet. Anyways, why I still need advice as well. Once we had that last conversation I thought things would be better, but she's been cold. She's been only cooking really quick meals, like frozen stuff, mac and cheese, etc. And I tried talking to her about it and that I'd be happy to teach her the stuff I'd make for us. But she always says if you don't like it, make us stuff you do, which is, fair. But I know she's as good of a cook as me.

I tried talking to her if things are stressing her out, she declines, I tried asking if anything's wrong, she declines, etc, etc. She's been cold. Our sex life took a nose dive from once every two days, only twice since my last post. I tried feeding into her love languages, she likes words of affirmation a lot so I've been complimenting her extra and reassuring her, but she seems uninterested. I even tried asking her if I explained anything badly, or said the wrong thing about the conversations above, and she says no. What can I do to make her feel happier? She barely even greets me when I come home now.

Edit 1. I am currently deciding to do two things as comments have suggested. A, spend a week doing everything for myself, by myself. Watch what I please, make just my own food, and finally take the classes I have been waiting for her to. to agree to, pottery, baking, etc., and just do my own thing and see how she treats it. My main fear being that she will just see this as petty, and that I'm doing the same thing as I almost did to her parents in my last post. B, try and talk to her one more time about all of this, which most likely she won't be receptive to. Tell her how I feel, what I want in a relationship and needs to change if it wants to work.

I obviously fear she will break up with me for that, but if she doesn't, it's probably for the best. Edit 2, I think I will choose a try and give her a slight taste of her medicine, and then bring up how I felt. Maybe she will understand better once she sees me doing my own thing. Update 2, May 10, 2025. Hey everyone, it's been nearly three weeks since my last post and I tried using this account so I'd remember but. I forgot to update, my post gained a bit of and people have been requesting an update, so I felt I should oblige, and I will continue to update if anything else goes on, but I'm not sure after this update anything will be happening. I once again tried to read and reply to as many comments as I could, and I really

appreciate everyone's advice. It helped me realize that things need to change or need to end. The way she has been treating me was not okay, and that I was essentially a doormat. It's hard to tell these things when you're with someone for years, and from my POV, when you really want it to work. Now I did as I said in my post-up date. Some people were suggesting, what if you did what you pleased, and led her to her own devices? How would she react? So that is what I attempted. On Monday, the 21st I decided to wake up early for work, and make my own breakfast.

By the time she got up, I was nearly done eating. She questioned why I made my own, and I told her you told me if I didn't like what you made, make something myself, she asked why I hadn't made her some, and I told her she can make her own. We sort of left it at that. Throughout the next couple days, I watched what I felt like, when I felt like, I purchased a class to make pottery without even telling her, stopped asking her if she wanted to do stuff with me, and made all my own meals myself. After the first day she stopped really asking me anything and just didn't care I was on my own. It truly felt like I just had a roommate that I shared a bed with.

It sucked. A lot. But I was hoping it would show her how I felt. After about a work week of doing this, I was at my limit and couldn't really take it anymore. Neither could she apparently, since she was starting to make comments again. We were growing more distant, and we started on. arguing for most our conversations. On Saturday I prepared to sit down and talk to her one finale time about everything. I woke up early and made my own breakfast, and as soon as she came into our kitchen she went off on me. Yelling at me if I don't love her, if I am cheating on her, how shitty of a boyfriend, etc. I kind of just sat there and took it, I wasn't even done my

damn breakfast. I sort of ignored her entire crash out on me, and I'm not sure if it calmed her or made it last longer honestly, but once she was done I told her we needed to talk and I'd tell her everything. And I think she thought I was going to admit I cheated or something, since she looked livid. I firstly told her I wasn't cheating and would never, then I brought up how she had made me feel for a long time now, how much she has learned to expect out of me, and that I truly do love her, and she might love me but it no longer feels like she cares. How her parents aren't going to convert me, how her not letting me discuss all this with her before was wrong, etc. This dissolved once again into another fight but it wasn't too bad.

Kind of just going back and forth for a while. We calmed down and I told her it's best she left and we had some space. I felt kind of sick to my stomach doing that, I probably have an issue giving up on things but whatever. She tried to tell me I was stupid and how a decision like that would be horrible for me, how no one would love me the way I expect to be loved. Or treat me the way I think I should be treated and no woman would want to be with a man she has to nurture like a child. I tried telling her it was just for some space and to not insult me, but she didn't seem to listen, so I repeated to please leave.

She asked where would she go? I told her to just go, and if she needs money for a hotel or anything to let me know. She left, somewhere I guess, and didn't request any money. She texted me a couple times throughout the night on that Saturday and I ignored it, till night time I told her I'd pack all her stuff and she can come tomorrow, and I turned my phone back on Do Not Disturb. Most her messages were just pointless insults. I woke up early on the Sunday and packed things really quickly, L.O.L.

Like I had to move, and my landlord would be here in 20 minutes. She didn't come till the afternoon, and when she did she said she was shocked I actually packed things up, and if I was really serious about being this stupid and throwing it all away, and I said yes. Honestly, I think her just believing we were breaking up right now made it easier. I kind of just rolled with it. I did tell her I want to still talk and see if she can see where it went wrong. This obviously turned into another fight, but I just told her to get her stuff and leave. She stormed out, slammed the door and left.

There was still a couple things, I couldn't pack everything. and I called a buddy of mine and asked him to stay at mine for the week and he said sure. She came over the next couple days, the first day she tried insulting me again saying I needed my buddy to keep me safe and shit, but after that it was just silent when she came to collect her things. By the time it was last week's end it was really quiet, around the first, Thursday. My buddy left after she got the last of her things. My house was quiet, I kind of hated it. We weren't really texting, but for some reason I decided to call her. She picked up.

I asked her why things got like this, she said she didn't know, and was sorry. She apologized for everything, and said she wished she was better, and I said I wish I was too. She asked if she could come home eventually, and I told her I'd think about it. So I thought about it. I read my posts again, I read all your comments again, and I decided no. So I called her up and told her that it's best we end this for good. All she said was, are you serious? I said yes, and immediately hung up.

She blew up my phone with a ton of calls and texts, but I put it on do not disturb. Last Saturday, her parents even texted me that I was horrible, and a bunch of other things. Since then it's been quiet for the last week. I don't know who she's staying with, where she went, who she came with to collect her, or was driving her. I have tried not to think about it. I still have a lot of unanswered questions, and I'm sorry I can't give them to y'all. So yay.

It's been officially like almost a week without contact. There was probably time she could have caught me and convinced me to stay, but she kind of ended it herself in my mind. Update 3, May 14, 2025. Hey, it's been a couple days since my last post. People have been requesting I keep them updated to my dumb little drama LOL, and this sort of has turned into a diary for me at this point. I found some answers to one of the questions that people, and I, have been wondering, and a bit of a mini update, that I will turn into long tangents as per usual. I have been trying to learn Reddit formatting so my tangents aren't as bad to read. The primary one being who has she been driving with, staying with, and collecting her stuff with?

Turns out it is a somewhat mutual friend of ours, who she knew prior to us dating from school, I know he lives alone, but I only ever really hung out with him maybe ten times total since meeting him multiple years ago, and all that group stuff. No, I haven't contacted him, and I don't plan on it. I found out through a different guy who is from that original friend group that is much closer to us. Me now, when he visited him he was confused why she was staying there. I don't know or think they are anything more than friends, but I am still very confused why he of all people is who she's staying with.

He actually lives farther from her work in uni than I do, and neither one of us, to my knowledge, were that close to him. The update is, I signed up for therapy, which will begin in a week and a half. I blocked her and her parents after she tried calling me again about three days ago. No idea what she was going to say, but the second I saw her. the phone ringing from her, I cancelled and blocked. Next it turns out she has been telling some of our mutuals that are closer to her that we broke up because I was incredibly mean to her and her family, and trying to make her do everything in the relationship. That our friend she's staying with now helped her escape me. I found this out since I was talking,

casually, to one of them online, she asked how I was doing, I told her I was doing fine just focusing on myself and trying to become a better person, and she responded, that's good. I would really hope so which led to the conversation of what I now know. She heard me out, but I understood she really wasn't believing me so I just left it. Finally, I was invited a couple days ago to a birthday house party, get together this coming Saturday, which I know she's friends with too. I have no idea if she's going but I am tempted not to go if I find out she is, but I really like the dude. No idea what I should be doing in regards to that, or her telling people how we ended. Update 4, May 20, 2025.

Hey, It's Me Again, thought I should update since I can't sleep before work tomorrow, today was a holiday for me, and I've been thinking a lot. Since my ex has been telling people she had to escape the relationship and much more, I started texting some mutuals of ours, and kind of steer the conversation towards the and I said bits and pieces about how we broke up and such and most the replies were essentially well that's not what she told me. And really? It's up to them who they believe, but at least my side, the truth is out there now, and not just whatever she's saying. I talked to my friend who stayed over while we were breaking up, and he's one of my few separate

friends from her, and told me he backed me up if ever needed, which is nice. I did decide to go to the party, and overall it went fine. She was there. She was there. but she didn't make a scene like some people thought she would. She was always on the other side of the rooms with her girlfriends, and 100% were just staring at me, talking about me, but nothing worse than that. I didn't really drink, because I feared if I got drunk I'd make a fool of myself or go up and talk to her, LOL. She did get very drunk, though, but did not try to talk to me or anything.

On Sunday morning, though, I got a text from our good friend, host, and he told me I would, be invited over anymore. I asked why, and he said that my ex requested it, since at the party she felt very unsafe since I was there and incredibly uncomfortable. I won't lie this upset me and I asked him if she had any proof I've ever done anything to her which he responded that I was victim blaming and stuff, so I promptly told him I sighed and the whole story and all he said was it's best we remain calm and you just don't come in the future. Which really sucks. Since the party, I've noticed a lot of my followers go down on everything, I never had a lot anyways, and that a lot of people are taking her side in things, and are unfriending me, removing me as their friend on everything without saying anything. I never had many separate friends from her, just mutual ones, but she always had a lot of separate ones so this sucks. I have no idea what she's saying about me, our relationship either, other than from the one mutual friend before who said she had to escape the relationship, and was mean to her, her family but i think it's much worse than just that no idea where to go from here