Reddit Stories - My PARTNER'S sibling PERSUADED her that I lacked EXCITEMENT, prompting her to depart

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #drama #communication #conflictSummary: My partner's sibling persuaded her that I lacked excitement, prompting her to depart.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, drama, communication, conflict, partner, sibling, excitement, departure, persuasion, relationship advice, interpersonal issues, communication breakdown, family dynamics, emotional manipulationBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner's sibling persuaded her that I lacked excitement, prompting her to depart for a new adventure in Europe. However, when her sibling became betrothed to a wealthy individual and deserted her, broken alone she came back begging. Hey Reddit, I am in a strange situation and I am not sure if I handled things the best way. My fiancé, let's call her Jessica, recently broke off our engagement and decided to move abroad. This happened after her older sister, Susan, who is a bit of a social media influencer,

started spending a lot of time with Jessica and filling her head with ideas about the kind of life Jessica should be living. Jessica and I were together for four years, engaged for the last one. We had a good relationship, I thought. We were saving up for a house, planning a future, all the usual things. We had our arguments like any couple, but nothing major. I work a steady job, it pays decently, and I have good prospects for advancement. Jessica was working for a local company. We were comfortable and, I believed, happy. Susan is a few years older than Jessica.

She travels a lot, posts pictures from fancy places, and always seems to be surrounded by people who have a lot of money. She calls herself a lifestyle guru or something like that. I always found her a bit much, very focused on appearances and what other people think, but she was Jessica's sister, so I was polite and tried to get along with her. She never seemed to like me much, always making little comments about my job not being exciting enough or our town being too small. About six months ago, Susan came to stay with her parents for an extended visit, which

meant she was around us a lot more. She started taking Jessica out to expensive restaurants, buying her designer clothes I knew Jessica couldn't really afford on her own, and talking constantly about her amazing life. She would tell Jessica stories about parties on yachts, trips to Dubai, and all the important and wealthy people she knew. She began to point out how Jessica was young and beautiful and shouldn't be tied down so early. She said Jessica had the potential for a much more glamorous and exciting life than the one I'm in. could offer her. Initially, Jessica would laugh it off or defend me in our plans. But slowly, I noticed a change in her. She started to become critical of our life. My job was suddenly boring, our apartment was too small, our friends were uninteresting. She started comparing

everything we had and did to what Susan described. She became obsessed with Susan's social media, looking at pictures of influencers and celebrities, and sighing about how she wished she could have experiences like that. The argument started soon after. Jessica would say things like Susan thought I wasn't ambitious enough for her. She said Susan pointed out that my idea of a good vacation was camping, while Jessica should be sunbathing in the Maldives. Jessica started to say that maybe Susan was right, that she was settling. I tried to talk to her, to remind her of our plans. of the love we shared. I explained that Susan's life, from what I could see, was very superficial and likely funded by an endless pursuit of wealthy connections, not genuine

achievement or happiness. I told Jessica that a real partnership was about building a life together, not just chasing glamour. I was assertive about this. I told Jessica I loved her and the life we were building. I said I was not going to apologize for my career or my ambitions, which were focused on stability and long-term happiness, not fleeting excitement or pleasing an online audience. I also told her I thought Susan was being a bad influence and was more concerned with her own image and perhaps getting Jessica to be a sort of sidekick in her influencer world than Jessica's actual happiness. This led to bigger fights. Jessica accused me of being jealous of Susan and of trying to control her. She said I was insecure. Susan, of course, fan the flames.

She would take Jessica out to get away from the negativity after our arguments. I am sure she used those times to further convince Jessica I was the problem. Jessica started spending more and more time with Susan and less time at home. When she was home, she was distant and often on her phone, looking at travel websites or expensive clothing brands Susan had recommended. Two weeks ago, Jessica came home and told me she couldn't do it anymore. She said Susan had shown her there was a bigger world out there for her and she needed to go and experience it. She said she was breaking off the engagement and was planning to move to Europe, specifically a city known for its party scene and wealthy tourists.

Susan apparently had some contacts there who could help her get started. Jessica said I was a good man, but just not the right man for her new path in life. She said she needed someone who could match her vibrancy and support her dreams of a more luxurious existence. I was hurt, obviously, and angry too. But I didn't beg. I didn't offer to change my entire personality or career to try and match some fantasy Susan had sold her.

I told Jessica that I thought she was making a huge mistake, that she was chasing a shallow dream that would likely not end well, and that she was throwing away something real for something superficial. I also told her Susan was using her. Jessica got very angry when I said that, shouting that I knew nothing about her sister or what she truly wanted. She said Susan was the only one who truly understood her potential. The next day, she started packing. I didn't try to stop her. I helped her carry boxes to her parents' car when her dad came to pay. up her initial stuff. I was calm, I didn't yell or cry in front of her. I just told her that I accepted her decision, even if I disagreed with it, and that I wished her luck, though I doubted

she'd find what she was looking for. She seemed a bit taken aback that I wasn't putting up more of a fight, maybe she expected me to break down. Susan was there too, with a smirk on her face, directing Jessica on what to pack and what to leave behind, occasionally making comments about how much useless junk Jessica had accumulated with me. I ignored Susan completely. Jessica moved out fully last week. The apartment feels empty. Some of our mutual friends are shocked. Some of them, the ones closer to Susan, seem to think Jessica did the right thing. My family is upset for me, but they also think I'm better off without someone so easily. easily swayed. So, read it, Ida, for not fighting harder for my relationship.

Should I have made grand gestures, promised her the moon, or tried to convince her I could be the man Susan wanted for her? Part of me feels like if someone can be convinced to leave you that easily by a sister peddling a fantasy, then maybe the relationship wasn't as strong as I thought, and fighting would have just prolonged the inevitable or made me into someone I'm not. But another part wonders if I gave up too easily on someone I loved. Update 1, it has been three months since Jessica left. I appreciate all the comments and judgments on my original post. The general consensus was NTA, and that I handled it as best as I could given Jessica's

determination to leave, heavily influenced by her sister Susan. Reading your perspectives helped me feel more secure in my actions, or rather, my inaction in terms of begging her to stay. So, what has happened since? Jessica did indeed move abroad. From what I have seen, I haven't looked her up, but mutual friends occasionally mention things or show me Susan's posts, her life immediately looked like a bunch of parties and new faces.

Susan was with her for the first few weeks, and her social media was full of pictures of them in trendy clubs, at exclusive events, and with groups of people who looked like they had a lot of money. Susan made sure to tag everything with aspirational hashtags, often captioning photos with things like showing my sis how to live her best life or freedom looks good on you, Jessica. It was all very curated, very much in line with Susan's influencer brand. Jessica herself posted a few things too, mostly selfies with Susan, looking excited. About a month after she left, I got a final utility bill for the apartment that was still in both our names for the closing period. It was higher than usual.

When I looked into it, I saw a lot of international calls made from our landline in the days before she moved out, specifically to the country she moved to. They were long calls, clearly planning calls. She had never mentioned these, and just left me to deal with the bill. It wasn't a huge amount, maybe a couple of hundred dollars, but it was the principle of it. She didn't even have the decency to clear up her own affairs before leaving. I paid it and changed the account solely to my name, but it was a small, sour reminder of her departure and the way it was handled. I also had to deal with a couple of subscription services that were tied to her cards but billed to our shared address that she hadn't bothered to cancel or redirect. More small annoyances that showed her mind was entirely on her new, exciting life, and not at all on the loose ends she was leaving behind for me to manage.

A mutual acquaintance, someone more on Jessica's side, messaged me about six weeks ago asking if I'd heard from Jessica. I said no. This person then said Jessica was having an amazing time and had so many new opportunities. It felt like a deliberate attempt to make me feel bad, or perhaps to gauge my reaction. I just replied good for her and left it at that. Susan continues to post her lavish lifestyle, though Jessica seems to feature less prominently in her recent posts compared to the initial weeks. Susan's content is all about her, her new designer acquisitions, her trips, and her high-value friends.

Jessica is sometimes in the background of a group shot, but no longer the co-star of Susan's look how great our life is show. I don't know if that means anything, but it's an observation. I haven't tried to contact Jessica. I don't feel the need to. My initial hurt has mostly faded into a kind of disappointment and a realization that the Jessica I thought I knew might have been a version that existed before Susan's intense influence, or maybe she was always susceptible to this kind of thing and I just didn't see it.

I'm not waiting for her. I'm building my own life, and it's progressing. I still stand by my decision not to beg or try to change to fit her sister's shallow ideals. If this is the life she wanted, then she is welcome to it. For those who asked, I haven't started dating. I'm not actively looking, just focusing on my own well-being and letting things happen naturally if they are meant to. The peace and quiet, while initially jarring, has become quite welcome. There are no more arguments about not being ambitious enough or not wanting to go to

fancy parties. My camping gear is getting good use. Update 2. Hello Again, Reddit. It has been about eight months since my first post, and five months since my last update. A fair bit has happened, and I find myself wondering if my latest actions were justified, or too harsh. To recap briefly for anyone knew, my ex-fiancee Jessica left me for a supposedly glamorous life abroad, heavily influenced by her influencer sister, Susan. I didn't beg her to stay. She went, and I started moving on with my life. In the months following my last update, I continued to focus on myself.

I got a promotion at work, which was great. I've been hiking almost every weekend, and I'm in the best shape I've been in for years. I've genuinely been feeling pretty good, settled, and looking forward. I didn't hear anything directly from Jessica, and Susan's social media presence, which I only ever saw if a mutual friend showed me, continued to be her usual display of consumerism and supposed fabulousness. Jessica was almost never in Susan's posts anymore. It seemed like she had faded into the background of Susan's world, just as I suspected she might.

Then, about a month ago, news started trickling through mutual acquaintances that Susan had gotten engaged. It wasn't a public announcement on her main feed at first. It was more like she was telling select people, and then someone posted a picture from a private engagement party, and the news spread. Susan was engaged to a very wealthy older businessman she'd apparently been seen discreetly for a while. The interesting part was that Jessica was nowhere to be seen in any of the pictures from this engagement party, nor was she mentioned in any of the excited congratulations flying around Susan's circle. It became pretty clear that Susan's new life chapter with her rich fiancé did not prominently feature Jessica. In fact, it seemed Susan had essentially moved on and upgraded her life,

leaving Jessica behind. Around the same time Susan's engagement news became more widespread, I started getting messages from Jessica. It started with a simple hey in my DMs on a social media platform we hadn't used much but were still connected on. I ignored it. Then a few days later, another message, can we talk? I ignored that too. Then came a longer message saying she was having a tough time, that things weren't what she expected, and that she missed me. I still didn't reply. I felt nothing, no urge to respond or comfort her. My feelings for her had pretty much dried up. The messages kept coming every few days. They started to sound more desperate. She mentioned Susan's engagement and said she felt abandoned by her sister. She said Susan had basically used her to make

her own life seem more exciting for a while and then dropped her when this wealthy guy came along. She hinted that her financial situation abroad was not good and that the party lifestyle had lost its shine very quickly once Susan's support and connections disappeared. She said she made a mistake. I still didn't respond to any of these messages. I discussed it with a close friend, who said I owed her nothing. My reasoning was that she made her choices very clear. She chose Susan Susan's vision over our reality. The consequences of that choice, including being abandoned by the very sister who led her down that path, were hers to deal with. Susan, meanwhile, finally made a big public announcement of her engagement on her main social media. It was as

grandiose and over-the-top as you'd expect, full of professional photos, gushing captions about her king and their new empire. There was, of course, no mention of Jessica. In fact, a day or two after her engagement post, Susan posted some vague, philosophical-sounding nonsense about outgrowing people and leaving behind those who don't align with your highest self. It felt like a very pointed, public dismissal of anyone she no longer had use for, and I couldn't help but think it was indirectly aimed at Jessica, among others. After seeing Susan's engagement posts and her subsequent leaving people behind garbage, coupled with Jessica's increasingly desperate messages painting a picture of being used

I made a decision. I went on to all my social media platforms and blocked both Jessica and Susan. I also blocked their numbers on my phone. My reasoning is that I want to completely close that chapter of my life. Jessica's messages were becoming a source of potential drama I didn't want. Susan's entire online presence is something I find distasteful, and I have no desire to see any more of it, even accidentally. I am moving on, and I felt that blocking them was a necessary step to protect my own peace and prevent any future attempts to draw me back into their mess. I don't wish Jessica ill, exactly, but I also don't feel responsible for her current predicament. She walked away, and I let her. Now I am walking further away myself. Update 3. It's been about

four months since I blocked Jessica and Susan. Life continued to improve for me. The biggest development is that I started dating someone. Her name is Carla, and she's wonderful. She's a veterinarian, kind, funny, down to earth, and shares my love for the outdoors. We met through a mutual friend at a hiking group meetup. It was unexpected, but it felt right. Our relationship has been developing at a comfortable pace, and it's built on mutual respect and genuine affection, a stark contrast to the drama and superficiality that came to define the end of my relationship with Jessica. Carla knows about my past with Jessica, not in extreme detail, but she knows I had a bad breakup and an ex-fiancee who left. She's been very understanding. Two weeks ago,

the past came knocking, literally. I was at home on a Saturday afternoon, and my doorbell rang. I wasn't expecting anyone. It was Jessica. She looked different. I considered not opening the door, but I figured it was better to deal with it head on and get it over with. I opened it. She looked surprised that I answered, then her face sort of crumpled. Before I could say much, she started talking, a flood of words. She said she was back in the country, that things abroad had been a disaster after Susan got engaged and essentially cut her off. She said Susan had completely abandoned her, changed her numbers, and even told mutual contacts not to help Jessica. She claimed Susan had used her as a social prop and then discarded her. She went on about how the money ran out,

the friends disappeared, and the party scene was ugly and lonely. She started crying, saying she'd made a terrible mistake, the biggest mistake of her life. She said she realized I was the only one who ever truly cared for her and that she was foolish and immature to listen to Susan. She said Susan had poisoned her mind against me. Then she did what I had a sinking feeling she would do, she begged me for another chance. She said she'd do anything to make it up to me, that she loved me, that she knew we could be happy again. It was a full emotional breakdown on my doorstep. I listened, calmly. When she finally paused for breath, I told her, very clearly, that I was sorry she had such a bad experience, but that there was no chance of us getting back together.

I told her that I had moved on with my life, completely. I told her that her choices had consequences, and while it was unfortunate that Susan had treated her so poorly, Jessica had also made the decision to believe Susan, to discard our relationship, and to leave. I reminded her that she had seemed perfectly happy with her decision when she walked out and that her sudden regret now that her new life had imploded didn't change what she had done. Then I told her I was seeing someone else, someone I was very happy with. Her demeanor changed instantly. The tears stopped and her face hardened.

The entitlement that Susan had nurtured in her came roaring to the surface. She became angry. She accused me of moving on too quickly, asking if our four years together meant nothing to me. She said I should have waited for her, that I owed her a chance to fix things. She then had the audacity to ask who Carlo was and to say that this new person couldn't me the way she did, and that I was probably just settling for a downgrade out of spite. She started to raise her voice, accusing me of being cruel and unfeeling for not taking her back when she was clearly suffering.

She even said I never truly loved her if I could just discard her like this. The irony was apparently lost on her. I stood my ground. I told her that my current relationship was none of her business and that I would not have her insult Carla. I reiterated that her actions had consequences and that I was no longer responsible for her happiness or her problems. I said that her current suffering was a direct result of her choices and Susan's influence, which she willingly embraced. I told her I wanted her to leave my property. She started to get more agitated, almost hysterical, saying she had nowhere to go, that her parents were disappointed in her, and that Susan was a monster.

She tried to grab my arm, pleading, but I stepped back. The confrontation was becoming explosive, and I was very aware of my neighbors. I told her firmly that if she didn't leave, I would call the police. It seemed to get through to her. She started crying again, a different kind of cry this time, more like angry frustration. She spat out something about me being heartless and then turned and walked away, looking defeated and furious at the same time. I closed the door, it was unpleasant, but it confirmed that I had made the right decision

in moving on and in blocking her previously. I told Carla about it later that day. She was incredibly supportive and understanding. She said I handled it well and that I had, every right to protect my current happiness. This entire episode has only made me appreciate Carla Moore and solidify my desire to build a future with her, far away from the toxicity of Jessica and Susan. Final update Hello Reddit, this will be my final update on this saga. It's been about six months since Jessica showed up on my doorstep. Thank you all for following

along and for your advice. It's been helpful to articulate these events. After the confrontation at my apartment, Jessica did not go away quietly. Her desperation and entitlement seemed to escalate. A few days after I turned her away, Carla and I were out for dinner at a local restaurant we frequent. Jessica appeared. She must have been watching me or found out where I often go. She came to our table and started causing a scene. She began loudly accusing me of abandoning her in her time of need, calling me names,

and then she turned on Carla, saying horrible, insulting things to her, calling Carla a homewrecker, which is ridiculous. As my relationship with Jessica was long over before I even met Carla, and making snide remarks about her appearance. It was incredibly embarrassing and upsetting. Carla was shocked but handled it with remarkable composure, suggesting we leave. Jessica tried to block my path as I got up, grabbing my arm again, and this time she was shouting. The restaurant manager had to intervene and asked Jessica to leave. She stormed out, but not before yelling that I would regret this and that I owed her. The harassment didn't stop there.

For several weeks, I received a barrage of calls from unknown numbers, which I assumed when I'd answer, it would either be silence or Jessica crying and begging, then quickly turning to anger and insults when I wouldn't engage. She also tried to contact my friends and family, painting herself as a victim and me as the villain who discarded her after she made one little mistake. Thankfully, my friends and family knew the real story, or at least enough of it, and didn't engage with her. The most disturbing incident involved Carla. Jessica somehow found out where Carla worked, Carla's veterinary clinic is listed online. Jessica went there, ostensibly with a non-existent sick pet, and when she got a moment with Carla,

she tried to convince her that I was a terrible person, a manipulator, and that I was still in love with Jessica and using Carla. Carla is smart, she saw right through it and told Jessica to leave the premises and not come back. Carla was shaken by this, and it made me furious. This was a step too far. After the incident at Carla's workplace, I consulted a lawyer. We sent Jessica a formal cease and desist letter, detailing her harassment and warning her of legal action if it continued. I also documented everything. During this time, my relationship with Carla only deepened.

We supported each other through this ugly period. Her calm strength and unwavering support for me, despite being dragged into this drama, were incredible. We started making serious plans for our future together, looking at houses, discussing marriage, the very things I once planned with Jessica, but this time it felt real, healthy, and built on a foundation of true partnership. About two months ago, Jessica made one last, desperate attempt. She contacted my parents directly, showing up at their house unannounced. She was crying, disheveled, and told them a very dramatic story about being destitute and homeless,

all because I wouldn't forgive her. She begged them to convince me to take her back or at least help her financially. My parents are kind people, and they felt sorry for the state she was in, but they also know what I went through and how happy I am now with Carla. They gave her some money for a meal and a temporary lodging, but they also firmly told her that my life was my own, that I had moved on, and that she needed to stop harassing me and Carla. They told her she needed to seek help from her own family, including Susan, or professional help.

Jessica apparently had an emotional breakdown right there in their driveway. She screamed, she cried, she threw the money down, saying it wasn't enough and that they were just as heartless as I was. It was another explosive reaction. My dad had to sternly tell her to leave before he called the authorities. She eventually left. That was the last direct contact any of us have had with her. I heard through the grape line that Jessica eventually went back to her parent's city but isn't living with them.

She is apparently struggling, working a low-wage job, and is very isolated. Susan is married now, living a very wealthy life, and has made no public or private moves to help her sister. The relationship between them is clearly non-existent.