Reddit Stories - My RELATIVE by MARRIAGE took my UNIQUE bridal gown to wear for a

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #weddingdrama #familyissues #bridalgown #relationshipproblems #fashiondisasterSummary: My relative by marriage took my unique bridal gown to wear for a special event without asking me first. I felt hurt and betrayed by their actions, causing tension in our relationship.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, weddingdrama, familyissues, bridalgown, relationshipproblems, fashiondisaster, betrayal, tension, specialoccasion, relatives, marriage, unique, gown, event, hurt, actionsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I guess she figured our house might have something cool she could use. Well, apparently she found the garment bag in the guest room closet that had my wedding dress. According to her, she thought it was just some old dress I didn't care about because it was in the guest closet. She decided it would be a great angel costume or something for her night out. So without asking, obviously, she took it to wear to a Halloween party slash bar. My $8,000 custom wedding dress. I didn't even know any of this until the next morning.

Halloween night, I was oblivious at home handing out candy while my wedding gown was literally out bar hopping with a bunch of college kids. The first I knew something was wrong was the next day when I went to put away some laundry in the guest closet and saw the garment bag was unzipped and empty. I absolutely freaked out. I frantically searched the house thinking, no, no, this can't be missing. I thought maybe I moved it and forgot, but I knew I hadn't. My heart sank and I had a horrible feeling.

I called my husband, panicking, asking if he moved my dress. He was as confused as me and said no. Within minutes, my mind went to Becca because she's the only other person with a key. I called her, no answer. I texted her, no answer. I even called my mother-in-law, M-I-L, to see if maybe she knew something. She didn't pick up either. By now, I was really upset and actually drove to Becca's dorm. She wasn't there. Her roommate said she was out. A couple hours later, Becca finally called me back.

She sounded oddly cheerful at first, which immediately rubbed me wrong. I asked if she had been at our house and if she took a white dress from my closet. She casually goes, oh, yeah, I borrowed that white dress in the garment bag. Hope you don't mind. It was just hanging there and I needed something for a costume. I swear I was trying to keep it together, but I was basically shrieking. You mean my wedding dress? That was my wedding dress, Becca. She went quiet for a second and then said she thought it was some old dress and didn't realize it was that dress. She apologized in this half-assed way, like sorry, I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. At this point, I was shaking with anger. I told her to bring it back now and that she was unbelievably out of line to

take anything from my house, let alone something so important. She texted me that she'd come by later with it. I wasn't about to wait calmly. I called my husband, who was also livid and left work early to come home. When Becca showed up at our house that evening, I was ready to explode. She walked and holding my wedding gown crumpled up in a plastic target bag, and it was soaking wet. The dress was wrinkled, stained red, and reeked of alcohol. As soon as she pulled it out, I felt tears in my eyes. It looked like a murder scene on white satin. There were huge red wine, or maybe some cocktail, stains all down the front and on the train.

The fabric at the bottom was ripped in places. It was basically ruined. I lost it. I burst into tears and screamed at her, asking what the hell she was thinking. My husband was furious too, he actually went silent and raged seeing the dress. Becca started bawling, saying she was sorry, it was an accident. She claimed some drunk girl at the bar bumped into her and spilled a drink all over the dress, and that the rip happened when she caught it on something.

She kept saying she didn't know it was my wedding dress and thought maybe it was a spare old dress or a costume piece. I call BS, it literally looks like a wedding gown, plus who keeps an $8,000. dress just casually hanging around unless it's important. Between my sobbing and my husband deathly quiet, she started getting defensive. Her apologies turned into excuses and blaming, how was I supposed to know? You left it in the closet just like any other dress, and it's not like I did it on purpose, I yelled that anyone with eyes could see it's not a cheap party costume. The quality alone, the detailing. How could she think that was just some random dress? She kept saying

she was sorry, but then she also had the nerve to get snippy and say I was overreacting because it's just a dress. I told her it wasn't just a dress, it was my wedding dress, my parents spent a fortune on it, and she had absolutely no right to take it, even if it were $10 from a thrift store. I was livid and in tears, and my husband finally spoke up and told her she needed to leave. Becca was sobbing as she went out the door. I'll admit, in the heat of the moment as she was leaving, I yelled after her that she owed me $8,000 for the dress. She screamed back that she doesn't have that kind of money and I'm crazy if I expect a 19-year-old to pay that. I responded, well, you better figure something out and slammed the door. Not my finest moment,

but I was absolutely beside myself. That night, my husband and I sat with a ruined dress just devastated. I was crying, he was comforting me, and I could tell he was furious and hurt. This dress meant a lot not just to me but to my family. My husband, who is usually very calm and generous with his sister, was so angry he said to me, I'm not using another dime of my money on her until she makes this right. I should note, I didn't suggest anything about her college fund or money at all. This was completely his reaction. The next day, my Mill finally called me back.

She had seen my missed call, and by now she'd obviously heard everything from Becca. Mill was initially gentle, asking what happened and if I was okay. I explained how destroyed my dress was and how upset we were. Mill said she was sorry this happened, but she followed it up by trying to defend Becca. She said something like, Becca is really sorry. She's young and she truly didn't realize it was your wedding gown. I also pointed out that Becca hasn't once offered to do anything except say sorry, not a peep about how she might pay for it or work it off.

Nothing, just crocodile tears and expecting us to forgive her on the spot. Mill said where is she going to get that kind of money? You know, she doesn't have a job. I answered, not my problem. Maybe you and Phil can help her or she can take out a small loan since it's her doing. The call ended with Mill saying I was being unreasonable and that she's going to talk to Adam soon. My husband fully backs me here. To be clear, he's just as angry.

if not more. In fact, he's so angry that he told his parents he's freezing the college fund until Becca properly resolves this, whether by paying for the dress or coming up with a solution we all agree on. That $50,000 is not legally hers yet. It's basically an account in his name that he set aside for her. He was planning to use its semester by semester for her tuition and expenses. He's already paid for this current semester, but he informed her and our mill that he will not be paying next semester or any other future payments until this dress issue is sorted out. Now the entire family is in an uproar. Becca is beside herself and keeps texting me pleading that we not take away her education. She said she's sorry a million times, but then in the same

breath calls me heartless for letting my husband do this to her. My mill and even some extended family, an aunt, etc., are telling us we're way too harsh and that I'm the asshole for valuing a dress over her college career. One aunt said in a group chat that I'm basically throwing away the relationship with Sill over a piece of clothing. All of this drama is really getting to me. I feel guilty that my husband is in a feud with his sister and family because of my dress. On the other hand, I am still so angry at what she did and I do think people sometimes only learn when hit with real consequences. She claimed she never opened it fully until she got to her dorm and that it just looked like a fancy white dress.

I'm skeptical, but that's her story. Two, did Becca have permission to be in our house slash take things? She has a spare key for emergencies or if she needs a quiet place to study, etc. We've always been fine with her dropping by, but she usually asks first. In this case, she did not ask to come over or to take anything. So no, she had zero permission to take the dress or any clothes. She's borrowed a sweater or jewelry here and they're in the past with my permission, but usually she asks.

Grabbing something without even texting was way out of line. Three, what's the deal with the $50,000 college fund? To clarify, that money is entirely my husband's. He started saving it when he landed a high-paying job a few years ago. His parents have always struggled financially, and he's very protective of Becca. So he's saved up enough to cover about four years. years of in-state college for her, kept in a separate account under his name. It was never officially her money or a trust fund or anything. It's basically his personal savings earmarked for

her tuition. He's been paying her school directly from that account each semester. So legally and morally, it's his money and within his rights to withhold it. My in-laws did not contribute to that fund. They cover some of her living expenses when they can, but not tuition. Four, have I told my parents, the ones who bought the dress? After reading some advice, I decided to hold off telling them every detail until I had more info on whether the dress could be saved. My mom would be heartbroken and furious. As of this update, I did let my mom know the dress had an accident and were working on it. She was upset, but I downplayed the drama to avoid stressing my parents further. If it comes to it, like if we need to pursue repayment, I will have to tell them the whole truth. For now,

I'm handling it with my husband. 5. Can the dress be salvaged slash cleaned? We took the dress to a highly recommended specialty bridle cleaner the day after the incident. They warned us that red wine on delicate fabric, especially after it set, is one of the worst stains. They've been working on it, but it doesn't look promising. Even if the stains mostly come out, the fabric is weakened where it was soaked and the ripped layers, chiffon and tool, are hard to repair to original state. We're expecting an update from them soon.

Best case, it'll be wearable-ish but will always have faint stains and repaired seams. Worst case, it's unsalvageable. Either way, it won't be the pristine gown it was, all right, now on to what's happened since my post, the family meeting. Two days after the incident and a day after my original post, my husband and I went over to my in-law's house to have a serious talk. Mill invited us, saying it would be good for all of us to discuss face to face. I was still really angry and hurt, but we agreed because at that point everyone had been talking past each other on calls slash texts. When we arrived, Phil, father-in-law, and Mill were there, and Becca was home from college for the weekend. We all sat in their living room. I let my husband

take the lead, since it's his family, though I chimed in plenty too. Beka looked red-eyed like she'd been crying. She wouldn't really look at me. Mill started by saying something like, We're all family here, let's remember we love each other and try to resolve this calmly. My husband immediately said, I'll be calm as long as I hear some acknowledgement of what actually went wrong here. He was clearly still seething but holding it together. He asked Becca straight up, what were you thinking? Explain to me how you thought taking any dress from our house without asking was okay. Beka started sniffling said, I don't know. I just thought it was a party costume. I didn't think it was a big deal.

This whole thing is just it was a mistake. Can't we find a less solution? She turned to me and actually tried to bargain. What if we pay for the dry cleaning and restoration attempts and maybe a little extra for your trouble? But $8,000 is just impossible. The dress might very well be beyond restoration and a little extra for your trouble felt like they were treating this like a minor inconvenience. I told her as much. I appreciate the gesture, but a few hundred bucks and a cleaning solvent aren't going to undo what happened. If the cleaner can't fully fix it, we're talking about replacing it or reimbursing the value. That dress was custom. Replacing it isn't as simple as buying off the rack and even off the rack bridle gowns in that style are several

thousand dollars. At this point, Becca yelled through tears. I don't have that money. She was full on crying into her hands. She said, if I had known it was your wedding dress, I never would have touched it. I'm sorry, but I can't afford this. And now I'm going to lose my college money. It's not fair. I didn't do it on purpose. That's when my husband really snapped.

He raised his voice first time that night and said, you're right. You didn't do it on purpose, but you did do it. And now you're more concerned about your husband. college fund than the fact that you seriously screwed up and hurt someone. You're calling it not fair that you face consequences. What do you think is fair then that my wife just sucks it up and everyone acts like you didn't ruin something irreplaceable? Becca just cried harder and said, I said I was sorry. Mill put her arm around Becca and started tearing up to saying to my husband, please, Adam, she is sorry. This is all just too much. You can't take away her education. Think of

her future. He replied, I am thinking of her future. I'm thinking that if we let this go with zero consequences, then it's not fair. If we let this go with zero consequences, then in her future, she'll think she can do whatever and hide behind. But I said, sorry, real life doesn't work that way. If a stranger wrecked her car, would she be okay if they just said sorry and walked away? Why should this be any different? Phil then said to my husband, son, I get it. I really do. But you have to understand we can't conjure money out of thin air.

Neither can she. Punishing her by pulling the college fund. You're basically shooting yourself in the foot too. Do you really want your sister to potentially drop out or take on massive loans? Is that what you want for her life? My husband responded, what I want is for my sister to take ownership of the harm she caused. I'm not asking for something unreasonable.

I'm basically telling her until you show that you are making this right. I am not going to keep funding you. If she chooses to drop out instead of maybe taking a temporary loan or working part-time to pay for this, that's her choice. She's not a child. She's an adult who made an adult mistake. At this point, I could tell my husband was getting exhausted by going in circle. I was two. We were at their house maybe an hour and it felt like nothing was getting resolved.

Just the same arguments. The family was begging for mercy. We were standing firm that mercy equals no accountability. It was tense and emotionally draining. I finally spoke up with a suggestion to break the impasse. I propose that we all take a couple of days to cool off and maybe look into solutions. For example, maybe there's a way to get a replacement dress that isn't the full $8,000 like a second-hand one or sample sale that could reduce the cost. I said I would even be willing to consider a payment plan from Becca over a couple of years or that she could do something like work for me. I have a small business to work it off at a reasonable rate, but I emphasize that the bottom line is we need some commitment from her and my in-laws that they will handle the financial repercussions of her actions. Mill said, we'll discuss it among ourselves. But please, in the meantime, Adam, don't do anything hasty about the college fund.

She's got to register for classes for next semester soon. My husband curtly replied, that depends on Becca. If she can come up with a real plan to make this right, I'm willing to reconsider. If not, she might have to skip a semester. That's on her. We ended the meeting shortly after. Everyone was upset and emotionally raw. My husband and I left, and on the drive home, we just kind of sat in silence for a while to decompress.

So that's where things stand after the face-to-face talk. No final resolution yet. My in-laws and Becca know we mean business, and we're waiting to hear if they come up with a proposal. Honestly, I'm not super hopeful they will have a great plan given their reactions so far, but we'll see. One more thing. after we got home, I got a text from Becca, a apology. It read like she, or maybe Mill, coached it a bit. She said she was truly sorry for not asking and for ruining such an important thing of mine,

and that she never wanted to hurt me. She said she's scared and doesn't know how to fix it, but she's willing to do whatever it takes to not lose our support for her college. She did also kind of guilt trip by saying the whole situation is making her feel like a horrible person and she's having panic attacks about her future. I didn't respond yet. I'm giving myself a little space because I'm still angry, and I don't want to say something I'll regret.

For now, Adam and I are holding our ground. We've made it clear, no sweeping this under the rug. She needs to figure out a way to compensate for the damage, at least partially, or there will be a serious, life-altering consequence for her. The ball is in their court. Update 2, a week later, high again. Thank you to everyone who offered advice and perspective. A lot of you wanted updates, and some even predicted some of what happened next.

You guys were spot on about a few things. It's been about a week since my last update. In that time, things escalated between my husband and his family before they, maybe, got better. Also, we got results from the wedding dress cleaners, and they are not good. First, the dress, the specialist cleaner did their best. but the dress is ruined. The red stains faded slightly but are still very visible. In some spots the white fabric is permanently tinted pinkish brown. The material also shrank and distorted a bit where it was wet for too long. The tears can be mended, but the dress will never

look right. They tried one round of treatment and the owner of the shop told me that further aggressive attempts might deteriorate the fabric more. In short, I have to accept that my wedding gown will never be the same. They charged a small fee for the attempt and sadly returned the dress to me still stained and torn. I actually cried again when I picked it up, which was kind of embarrassing in front of the shop lady, but she was very kind. She said this happens more often than you'd think. Red wine is a nightmare on wedding dresses. So yeah, it's official, the dress is a loss. That news made me even more firm that Becca, or my in-laws, need to pay to replace it. or compensate the value. The cleaner provided a letter basically stating the damage and that

restoration to original is impossible, which is useful in case we go the legal route or an insurance claim. A few of you suggested that, but more on that later. Now, on the family front, after the big meeting, my in-laws went mostly quiet for a few days. I think they were discussing among themselves and also giving everyone a breather. My husband and I tried to enjoy a drama-free weekend. We even went on a hike to clear our heads, which helped a bit. But the silence broke pretty quickly on Monday. What happened Monday? Becca apparently told a few friends and cousins a very skewed version of the story, and it spread on social media. I started getting some odd vibes from a couple of my own friends asking what was going on, because they saw posts. Turns out, someone, either Becca

or a friend of hers, posted on Instagram something like, when your own brother would rather see you drop out of college than forgive you for a mistake, disappointed face emoji, family can be cruel. It didn't mention the dress explicitly, but anyone close would know it's about us. I was pretty annoyed seeing that. She hadn't mentioned the part where she literally caused all this by doing something idiotic. It felt like she was fishing for sympathy and painting my husband as a villain. Well, it worked to an extent. One of their cousins, who were not that close to, commented something like, I heard that's so harsh. You don't deserve that. And a college friend of hers commented, they're supposed to be your family. If my sister did that, I'd disown her. Insert massive I roll.

My husband and I talked about it. He was furious that she was putting personal family issues online for strangers and extended family to gossip about. He commented on her post from his account, something along the lines of, interesting how you left out the part where you stole and ruined something irreplaceable that belonged to us. Actions have consequences, Rebecca. He rarely engages in social media drama, but he was livid. She deleted his comment within minutes and then blocked him, and me, preemptively, I guess, on Instagram. Eddie.

Then my husband started getting calls slash texts from a few family members, notably an aunt and his grandmother, basically asking what is going on and why are people saying he's making Becca drop out of school. So he had to explain the actual story to them. I had a feeling they stretched themselves to even consider $4,000, not sure if they take a loan or pull from retirement, but it sounded like they were scrambling. We told them to put together a concrete plan like timeline of payment, etc., and to have Becca write out and sign her part as well. Basically, we wanted this in writing. It may sound formal for family, but after all the back and forth, we wanted it on paper so there's no misunderstandings later. My husband said if they do that, he will unfreeze the college fund so she can register for

next semester on time. Mill was agreeable. She sounded relieved that we weren't insisting on the full 8K up front. We hung up with the understanding that they draft a plan and we'd review it. During all this, I hadn't directly spoken to Becca since the text she sent after the meeting. But about an hour after that call with Mill, Becca sent me an email. It honestly surprised me. It was thoughtful and truly apologetic. She said she was sorry for trying to garner sympathy online, sorry for initially downplaying what she did,

and that she realizes how badly she violated my trust. She said she woke up that day thinking about how she'd feel if someone ruined something so precious to her and understood why I was as angry as I was. She also wrote that she's willing to work as much as needed to pay us back, even if it takes years, and that she values her relationship with us more than some stupid partying, her words. She admitted that at first she was mainly scared of losing the college fund, but she now knows why we took such a hard stance.

She said, she's ashamed she made our family fight and brought drama to our door. It read as very sincere. Both my husband and I were actually kind of impressed by the tone. This was a big shift from the defensive, avoidant Becca from before. I replied to her email, didn't feel like a phone call yet, thanking her for genuinely apologizing. I told her I accept her apology and I appreciate her taking responsibility and writing. I said I'm still very sad about losing my dress, but I'm hopeful we can all move past this in time if she sticks to what she's saying about making amends.

I didn't lay into her or anything. I kept it calm and said I'm willing to work with her and her parents. on a fair resolution. So, things seemed to be finally going in the right direction. Until one more mini-drama occurred, of course. Some of you had a insurance idea. Well, I looked into whether my homeowner's insurance or a special wedding policy might cover the dress. I discovered I didn't have a specific rider on our insurance for expensive items like the dress, I should have, but I underestimated its value at the time. However, my policy might cover theft or vandal. key words, of personal property. So purely out of curiosity, I mentioned this to my husband and

in front of my sister, not Sill, my own sister, who was visiting. My sister offhandedly said, well, it was effectively stolen and vandalized by your Sill, we chuckled, but apparently my phone's voice assistant activated and caught part of that conversation in a voice text, which I was in the middle of composing to Mill. I was texting her about something unrelated right before. I didn't realize it had recorded that snippet and hit send. Mill received a text partially quoting my sister saying something like it was effectively stolen and vandalized by your sill. Oh boy, Mill was not happy to see the word stolen and vandalized. She immediately called, upset that we were calling it theft. I quickly explained it was out of context and that

we were just talking generally slash insurance-wise, not accusing Becca of being a thief in a criminal sense. Mill was a bit cooled down after I explained, but I could tell this whole thing has her on edge that we might suddenly sue or press charges or something. I assured her, again, we prefer to handle within the family and that the comment wasn't meant to be taken as a legal accusation. That was a bit awkward, but crisis averted. Anyway, as of now, the plan as my in-laws and Becca are working on a written agreement. They indicated it will probably say she'll pay us back $4,000 over time since they're covering the initial $4,000, making total $8,000. Honestly, I suspect they might actually just end up paying most of it and having her pay them back

later, but either way is fine. We haven't seen the document yet, but they said they'd have it ready before the weekend. My husband has agreed that once we have that signed commitment and presumably a down payment of the first chunk, they mentioned giving us $2,000 in a week or two as a show of good faith. He will unlock the college fund for her next semester. We also discuss consequences beyond money, like we want her to learn from this, not just throw cash, but isn't even truly hers, edit. We haven't finalized this part, but I floated the idea of her doing some kind of volunteer work or taking a financial literacy course. So she understands the value of $8,000 and what it takes to earn that. That might be two perentee of an ask, and I won't die on that hill, but it's

something I'm thinking of suggesting if the moment's right. Ultimately, the money and sincere apology were my main wants. Anything beyond that is a bonus. So for now, it looks like we have a tentative resolution in progress.