Reddit Stories - My Shocking Decision Ending A DECADE-LONG Marriage After A STARTLING DISCOVERY

Episode Date: June 21, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #marriageproblems #shockingdiscovery #relationshipadvice #divorcehelp #lifechangingSummary: After a decade-long marriage, I made a shocking decision to end it following a startling discovery. Seeking advice on Reddit, I questioned if I was wrong for choosing to leave my spouse and start anew.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, marriageproblems, shockingdiscovery, relationshipadvice, divorcehelp, lifechanging, marriageending, relationshipissues, personalgrowth, decisionmaking, marriageadvice, marriagecounseling, emotionaltrauma, movingon, startingover, selfdiscoveryBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. I ended my marriage with my spouse of a decade, as she tested positive on a routine check after attending her friend's marriage ceremony. It goes to show that a single instant can have a profound impact on one's life. Probably talk about my life. It amazes me how one small piece of paper discovered from my wife's purse changed everything in my life. I, 37M, married my college sweetheart ten years ago. Prior to that, we dated for six years, so in total we know each other from 16 years. I'll call her Dove, 37F.

She was my classmate in college, and I considered her my soulmate. She indeed was. A month ago, Dove's friend was getting married in a fairy tale wedding in Las Vegas. I was also invited to the wedding but had something urgent at work that same week, so I skipped it. It was an elaborate event which lasted for a week. When Dove returned from the wedding, she was unusually quiet. I asked her if everything was fine. She said she was just tired after the week-long wedding festivities.

It seemed natural to me, so I gave her the space she needed to wind up. However, it started troubling me when Dove's behavior turned cold towards me. Not only did she become quiet, but she became irritated at me. She started ignoring me and got agitated at every conversation. Not to mention, our sex life was almost null. Whenever I initiated, she used to snap at me and say she was not in a mood. It's been almost a month now since she returned from the wedding, but we didn't have one intimate moment together. If this was not enough, I found something inside her bag yesterday, which has made me anxious.

It was a hospital bill. Dove had done an STD test just the next day after returning from the wedding. Isn't it weird? Why would she do that? And why she didn't tell me about this? I know it means something obvious. I love her selflessly, but I'm not a simp to just ignore such a huge red flag. I'm yet to confront her regarding my findings, but before I do, I wanted to have a complete information about the STD test.

I just don't want to confront her with any half-baked information. I'd treasure my marriage and my relationship with Dove, and I just don't want to destroy it in a moment of impulse. I have researched my best on this subject, and while doing so, I bumped into this page where several men slash women have shared their stories where they had found their partner undertaking STD tests secretively. More often than not, it is related to cheating.

That is why I'm here to share my story in, see if I'm over-reading between the lines. I'm feeling guilty to admit this, but I have also sneaked into Dove's phone a few days ago. I scrolled through all her chat lists and call records, but I could not find anything doubtful. It was also clean. I also checked her social media account, but it was also clean. I don't know if I should feel bad about doubting her, or if I should be assured that I'm being alert. I thought of contacting the friends who attended the wedding with Dove to check if anything unusual had happened there. But the thing is, it was Dove's school friend's wedding, so none of our college friends were a part of it.

I'm friends with her school friend, but not to the extent that I can ask anything from them without Dove's knowledge. This situation feels so weird because, in the last 10 years of being together with Dove, she never gave me any reason to suspect her. We were always very transparent with each other. Edited to add, I forgot to mention that the bill indicated that she made the appointment on the day after returning from the trip. However, the date of the test mentioned was of yesterday's. And the date of the report is given after a week.

Dove's behavior was concerning me from the time she returned from the trip. I checked her phone a few days ago but couldn't find anything. Yesterday, when Dove returned home, after the test, she looked very exhausted. and tensed. It got suspicious when she carefully hit her bag inside the wardrobe. Usually, she leaves it on the table or on the couch. I behaved as if I didn't notice it, but I was keeping a closed eye on every move of hers. When she went to the washroom for shower, I checked her purse and found the hospital bill for STD test. Update 1, Hello All, after reading the comments on my post, I realized I didn't give any background information about me or Dove. I didn't think it was

relevant to the post. Nevertheless, I have replied to a few of you in the comments, but for general information, let me add a few facts. Dove and I graduated from the same college. We both are software engineers and work for different IT companies. We have a six-year-old son. financially, we had a stable life, a quite decent one. We were a pretty happy family until now, until Dove decided to screw up everything. After discovering the medical bill for an STD test from Dove's purse, I was restless. The comments on my last post, as well as the stories of the other victims, all indicated one thing. Dove cheated on me.

Initially, I wanted to wait until the test results were out before comments. but I was choking up from inside. I could no longer hold it back. Dove also noticed that I was behaving differently. The day I made the post, she even asked me if everything was all right. I just nodded and faked a smile. She thought that maybe I was retaliating for her rude behavior. So, a day after I made my post, we sat at the dinner table. As we started eating, Dove again asked me if I was doing well. I nodded yes. But after a while, I couldn't hold back myself and blurted out, how was your STD test? She looked at me, shocked. I repeated, yeah, that STD test that you took a few days back. She turned pale and asked me how did I discover it? I said it doesn't matter. Then she said

the most classic line, I can explain. I stared at her straight and told her to explain. She sighed and took a deep breath while I kept staring at her patiently. She started weeping. The moment she started sobbing, my heart sank. I understood that my suspicions were true. Dove held my hand and told me to believe her. I told her I could believe her only if she said anything. But instead of saying anything, she pulled her chair closer to me, leaned on my shoulder,

held my arms tightly, and cried. I let her emotions flow out. In the last 16 years of our relationship, I have never left her crying. Even with her slightest tears, I used to hug and cheer her up. But this time, I sat unmoved. She tried to come closer to me and hold my arms as tightly as she could, but I didn't hug her back. I sat there cold like an ice rock. Finally, when she was done crying, she freed my arms and confessed everything.

It was on her friend's bachelor's trip. In the week-long wedding festivities of her friend, the first two days were a bachelor trip to Vegas. The event manager had arranged for strippers, male escorts, and whatnot. That day, I got to know so many new terms that I was not at all familiar with earlier. She told me that the bride and her other friends enjoyed all the services right from the start of day one, but Dove resisted. Her friends forced her, but she didn't. She saw the bride and her other friends having a thrilling time, fulfilling all their fantasies with these escorts.

But she restrained herself. I usually used to believe her as she was never a liar, but this time, it was just difficult for me to fully trust her story. I asked her if she did it because she felt out of place. She said that her bride friend convinced her that she had never seen any other man in the last 16 years. Hence, she needed to taste the new blood. Her friends elaborated on how these escorts used several techniques to give them newage pleasures. Dove still didn't give in, but her friend convinced her for an intimate massage. Dove finally gave in to the peer pressure and said yes to the

massage. She thought massage would not qualify as cheating, and she could also dodge the peer pressure. However, the Masser was an escort. After the back massage, he started undressing her fully. She resisted, but he said it was an intimate massage, so she had to undress. She confessed to losing her self-control during the intimate massage and gave in. One thing led to another, and she cheated on me. But this was not enough. When Dove told her friends about her encounter with the Masser, they cheered for her and insisted

she should further explore. They also assured Dove that it would be confidential and nothing would ever reach me. Dove thought she had already done it once and cheated on me. So, there was no point resisting further, she decided to better explore her fantasy. I was glad that she honestly confessed everything. She knew I wouldn't forgive her even if she did it once. I just sat there lifeless, trying to absorb whatever Dove said. I knew my life was going to change. The woman in front of me was the love of my life, and that was why her betrayal inflicted such a grave pain on me.

Dove nudged me to say something as I had not spoken a word since she confessed. I buried my face on my palms. She tried to hold my hand and lift my face, but I resisted. Finally, when I looked at her, I said I was going to file for the divorce. She was shocked and said I should not make an impulsive decision because we have a son. I yelled at her to stop showing her fake concern for our son and our family. If she had the slightest concern for the family, she wouldn't have done what she did. I took my car keys and left the house.

She tried to follow me, but I shrugged her off. I drove off to my friend's place, who was living alone. He recently had a divorce, that's a separate story, anyway. I drank until I passed out. The next morning, I called in sick at work. My friend went to the office while I lounged on his couch, searching for the divorce lawyers. I stumbled upon a lawyer who was my junior in school. He was added to my Instagram account, so I messaged him.

He responded within a couple of hours. I asked for a call. He sensed the urgency and despereness in my messages and called me back within 30. 30 minutes. His next available appointment slot was about four days later, but since I knew him, he asked if I could meet him late in the evening after work. I readily agreed. Instead of calling me at his office, he asked me to meet for a drink. So the last evening, Dove confessed her cheating, and the next evening, I was sitting with my lawyer and discussing my divorce. He asked me to sleep over my decision and see if the emotion subsided, and I decided to give her a chance.

I told him that I was mindfully making this decision. I relayed my divorce terms to him, and he assured me of starting the paperwork immediately. I requested him to fast-track the process because I want to get done with it as soon as possible. Anyone who heard me would have assumed I was making an impulsive decision, but I was not. I love Dove, but not more than my self-respect. I told him that I trusted Dove with my life, and if I'm taking this decision, it is definitely severe. I cannot let her get away with the cheating. The next day, I went home in the afternoon. I thought she would be at work, but she was at home. She had become miserable just in the last

few days. As soon as she saw me, she rushed towards me and tried to hug me, asking me where I had been for the last two days and why I was not responding to her calls and messages. I wanted to push her away, but she looked so pale and fragile that I could not do so. I let her hug me, but I didn't touch her. I stood stiff. She kept saying sorry, but I remained unmoved. She held my face with her palms and nudged me to say something. She said my silence was killing her. I asked about our son. She said she had dropped into my parents' house for a few days. I freed myself, went to my room, bolted it. She would not have let me pack if I had let her in. I packed some of my clothes, laptop, tabs, and essentials and hurriedly left the house while she was in the kitchen.

She followed me outside, trying to stop me, but I didn't look back and drove off. I checked into a hotel and then went to my parents' house to meet my son. I wanted to tell them everything, but I resisted because I had something else in my mind. It's almost a week now. I'm working from the hotel. I have taken permission to work remotely for this month. Dove tried to contact me through all possible means, calls, texts, voicemails, showing up at my workplace, crashing at my friend's place, and local bars and restaurants that I often visit. One of our common friends called me today and asked me if I was fine. He said that Dove had been looking for me in the entire city.

I asked him if she had told him the reason. He said that whoever is asking, Dove has been telling them that I left the house after a severe argument about something. I said yes, I'm safe, but I needed some time to cool off. A few hours ago, I called up my lawyer to follow up regarding the divorce papers. He said to have it shipped to me in the next few days. I'm waiting until the divorce papers arrive. I'll make an update once I sort out this case. Update 2, it took a while for me to open.

update this, but I wanted to sort out everything before making an update. This would be my last update. So, after 10 days of the D-Day, the divorce paper arrived. It was Saturday. The next morning I went to my house. The situation was the same. Dove was lifelessly lying on the couch while my son was playing in the living room. He ran towards me and hugged me as we hadn't met in the last week. This time, Dove was stiff. She didn't hug me, instead, she gave me a cold stare. I played with my son for a few minutes and then left him alone and sat on the chair. Dove looked at me with a straight face and asked what did I want.

I smirked at her question without saying anything. She asked if there was anything she could do to make things better. I still remain quiet. After a while, she said, Look, I know I. I have hurt you and ruined everything, but I'm guilty about it. I accept what I did was a grave crime. But you need to see that I could have skipped the STD test, and you would never known about it. But I took the test for your safety and avoided sex to protect you. I love you. I'm sorry for what I did, but you also need to acknowledge that I honestly confess the truth

when I could have easily cooked up some lies. So, we need to solve this situation instead of running away from it. Tell me if there is anything I can do to fix this. I replied yes. I told her to confess her cheating in front of my parents and hers. She gave me a stern look. I said, what? You can't do it, right? She took a deep breath and said if this was something that would make me happy and satisfied, she was ready to take a shot. I asked her to go on and invite them in the evening. After staring at me for a couple of minutes and seeing the coldness in my eyes, she took her phone and called up her parents and mine one by one, asking them to join us in the evening. After the call, she looked at me with defeated eyes. I took a shower and was surfing on my iPad when she entered

the room and said she had prepared a lunch for us. I wanted to avoid it, but I knew from within that it was going to be our last meal as a family, so I went and sat at the table. She served me and my son, and we all ate it together. I felt bad seeing my son's face that it was mostly the last time he was having a meal together with his parents. I know I would be called egoistic and chauvinist for destroying my happy family for just one mistake of dove, but I don't care what others think of me. I know when my son grows up, he will be glad that I chose my self-respect over my love and emotions. It is necessary that a child grows up with happy parents who might be living separately than frustrated parents who were trapped in a broken marriage. And our marriage was

broken at the moment Dove opened her legs for other men. After lunch, Dove took our son to his room for an afternoon nap. After putting him to sleep, when she returned to our bedroom, I was scrolling my phone. She tried to touch me. I stopped her and asked if her STD reports had come. She said that She had come clean and started touching me again. Knowing that it would be our last time, I gave in. That was the most thrilling sex we had in a long time. After we were done, I felt so guilty and sad, but also satisfied to be with her. She was the only woman I had been with, in the last 16 years.

I loved her, and it broke me to the core to think that I was going to push her away from me forever. I also regretted having sex with her because it would have been. given her hope of reconciliation. She fell asleep in my arms as if she hadn't slept for many nights. I looked at her face and wondered how she could do this to us. I don't know when I dozed off while staring at her pretty face. We woke up when our son knocked on the door. I opened the door for him. He played with us on the bed. It was such a bliss. At that moment, I truly felt like retreating for my decision in giving another chance to my marriage, but I suppressed it and went out of bed. It was already evening. I sat in the living room waiting for my parents and in-laws

to arrive. After a while, our parents were there. After everyone settled down, Dove called me into the kitchen and asked with an intense eye if I really wanted to do this. I said yes. She then went outside and told everyone that she had something to confess. She told them she cheated on me at her friend's wedding, but it didn't mean anything. She loved me and could do anything for me. She went on to say that she had confessed about this to me, and I wanted her to inform everyone about this. It happened so fast that my parents thought it to be a prank. I said it was not a crank and added that she had confessed when I found the STD test bill in her purse. Her parents looked down in embarrassment and anger.

My parents were also disappointed, but they didn't say anything. I told everyone that I also had something to say, and it was that I had filed for divorce. I pulled out the divorce papers and started reading the terms of the divorce. Dove tried to interrupt me, but I continued. I gave her the house in which she and my son could live. while I would move out. We both would have joint custody of our son, and I would pay my share of the child support. After reading it, I handed over the papers to her. She gave me a disgusted look and said I tricked her into this. She glanced through the papers and signed it right away.

Her parents stood up and left immediately without saying a word. My parents also left, but while leaving, they asked if I wanted to move in with them for some time. I nodded. I nodded. it and said I'll see. Dove went to our son's room and locked it from inside. Not only did she feel humiliated in front of her parents and in-laws, but she felt defeated that all those confession and humiliation was for nothing. I packed my remaining stuff and left the house. I wanted to meet my son, but I knew Dove wouldn't let me do so. That was the reason she had locked herself in his room. After that evening, I didn't get any calls or texts from Dove. After 45 days or so, we were presented in the court, where our divorce was settled amicably as none of us contested.

We didn't say anything to each other and parted ways after it was over. It's been more than a week since the divorce was settled. I have been busy throughout, finding a house and settling in there. We may cross paths because of our son, but it is going to be only transactional. I still feel empty and frustrated because I know I have all. also hurt her and humiliated her. Maybe we both got what we deserved. Now on to the next story.

Story 2. I divorced my wife for wanting baby's surname as same her ex who passed away. My wife and I had difficulties in conceiving due to an accident I had when I is younger. After three years we finally had our daughter three weeks ago. Baby and mom are home and healthy, but I have been on the couch due to an issue over the surname. My wife was previously in a long-term relationship with her ex who committed suicide due to mental health issues after he returned from service abroad. Her son from her first relationship lives with us and is 12 in a month's time. Her son has her ex's surname.

She wants our baby to have her ex's surname, she still goes by that name, so that her son doesn't feel left out from his new sibling and future siblings, and because he had a better name than mine. I tried to compromise by saying since I practically raised her son he can have my surname, that way he won't feel left out, and she can take my name too. She said no as he has had his name all his life and shouldn't have to change it to appease me. I tried to explain that they have two separate fathers so it's natural that they have different names. I suggested she use her maiden surname and hyphenate it with mine for our baby and she can hyphenate her maiden name with her exes for her son, that way the siblings will have almost the same name. That was turned down too. We have to register the baby's name next Thursday.

I told her that we should probably get couples therapy and in the meantime register her with my name. She turned that down too and said she went throughout the trouble of carrying her and pushing her out, and she should get to decide this on her own. I even asked her son and he said he doesn't mind having separate names as he knows his father was his father, but I am dad. He doesn't care if his sister has a different surname. I told my wife this and she said I am emotionally manipulating her son. We had an argument five days ago and haven't spoken much. I didn't want it to continue like this as this should be our happy moments. Two days ago I told her that the baby either gets my surname or we are getting a divorce. I told her that perhaps her dead husband could help her. I told her

raise our daughter with her since she doesn't want to acknowledge me as the dad. She called me a manipulator and says it's not fair that she doesn't get to decide the baby's first name on her own or the surname. Her suggestions for the first name when she was pregnant were feminine versions of her ex's name, think Alexis, Alexia, Alexandra for Alexander, and his actual name if we had had a boy. Today I called a solicitor and she overheard. She is telling me that I am forcing her into a corner with this name thing even though we went with her choice of first name after I sifted out the one similar to her exes. And my choice is a middle name. I just want some outside opinions on whether I am doing the right thing. Like what am I doing with life anymore?

It's so messed up. A.P. She is 43. Most of her life was under her maiden name. She has gone under his, deceased ex, name for about 10 years, but she didn't officially change it until she added her ex-husband first and middle name to her son's official name when he was seven. Then she changed hers too. We were dating an exclusive, but I didn't mind thinking she was doing it for her son. It has only been her legal name for about six years. She also wanted to give our daughter a feminine version of his name, and the exact same name as her exes if we had had a boy. Yes, she kept her ex's name and I was fine with that as she explained she wanted to have the same name as her son.

But it seemed she was keeping it for other her reasons as she thinks it sounds better than mine. AHP, in the beginning she did bring him up a lot in the suicide. I was okay with but a few years and I had to talk with her. She brought him up less and less. Then she changed her son's name and also her own. I didn't mind as she wanted the same name as she wanted the same name as. him, and she was married to him, so I figured it was okay for her to change it even if she did it

years after he died. When we were discussing marriage, she said she didn't want to change her new name to mine as mine is just bland. I didn't mind. Romantically we were okay, we had a period of dead bedroom but fixed our issues without therapy. She likes that I am good with her son, but won't let me adopt him. This caused a rift, but to keep the peace I backed down. While trying for a a baby we were more like roommates but she really wanted a baby and so did I. We were overjoyed when we found out it was a girl as she always wanted one. Making a list of names and middle names caused some arguments but not major ones a quick update as my DMs were full of requests. Update, from the advice given on here I contacted the registration office and they told me that

as long as you are married only one parent is needed for the name registration. I wanted to appeal to her better nature and got her, mine and her ex's parents involved. Her sister tagged along for this mediation slash discussion. Turns out my parents, and my three siblings via group chat, are the only ones that agreed with me on either my surname or her maiden name. Her parents and sister, also her other siblings via group chat, agreed with her, saying I should do it as she was the one that carried her. Surprisingly her ex's parents thought it would be a nice gesture to name my daughter with their surname and to my shock revealed the first name I agreed to that was her suggestion, which wasn't a female variant of her exes, was the name her ex wanted to name

their child if they had had a girl instead. She blushed when that piece of information got out when I called her on it. I asked her if it would be fair to name our daughter after one of my exes to which she replied that I only had a body count of three and that two had the same name and both names were ugly. When everyone left I tried to reason with her, but she said, slammed the bedroom door in my face and locked it. During the discussion with the parents I tried asking her ex's parents if they would be okay with me naming their grandson after me after I adopt him and they said they would never allow either, adoption or name change. When I asked them if it was fair for my daughter to have their name, they said they felt their grandson was closer to his sister

than I was to her as a father and both should have the same surname. They also ridiculed my choice in both first and middle name for my daughter in addition to my surname. This is a couple that I up until that point had a reasonably good relationship with. I raised their grandson as my own and was very surprised that this is how they felt about me. In the morning she didn't come out and I left her breakfast by the door, hoping she would calm down enough by the time we would register to discuss it as adults. A few of her friends phoned and asked me why it was so important for me in the year of 2020, to give my surname to my child. I explained my side and why I had reservations. They still felt

I was being unreasonable. On the Tuesday before the name appointment, Thursday, she picked a fight with me and said she was going with her original name, female version of her ex. She went as far as saying that she would rather run alive herself than give her daughter my name. So, I am a little ashamed about this, but as I pictured that she would no longer be in my future I called the police on her saying she threatened to commit suicide. I am not proud of this. They came and took her despite her protesting she was okay and it was only said in the heat of the moment. I guess I agged on the police telling them it could be P.P. And that I felt it was not safe for her to be around our baby. I registered the name on my own without her blessing and participation. She was still not

released by then. Our daughter's first, middle and surname are all chosen by me. She obviously has some unresolved issues and I hope she gets the help she needs. There is something wrong with her as she instructed her ex's parents to collect her son and my daughter to look after via her sister until she could get out. When her ex's parents came by and tried to take the baby I told them to fuck off. They threatened with police and I told them to go ahead. So they left with their great. grandson. Her parents came by during the weekend and wanted the baby to take to her telling me not to be difficult. I told them no. We had a visit by a health visitor and the midwife. When she was

released she didn't come home and went to her parents. She has been there since, although she tried twice to take the baby from me, I changed the locks. She did drop off expressed milk for the baby and has continued to do so via her sister. I contacted a son. I contacted a solicitor for the divorce and for now I am keeping the baby as even the health visitor said that social services are going to get involved due to her mental state and I am the better option for care for now. There is no saving my marriage and I doubt she ever loved me with other things that have come out since then. I will always love her son and hold out hope that someday when he is old enough to make his own decisions he will seek me out, but as my solicitor put it,

don't hold your breath for that to happen. My older brother and his wife are staying with me to help out for now. Their children are all teens and they have done this new baby thing five times and all their children made it to teenhood, so I am listening to all their advice. So there it is.