Reddit Stories - My SIBLING advised me to shed some pounds to PARTICIPATE in her MARRIAGE

Episode Date: July 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #advice #weightloss #marriageSummary: My sibling suggested I lose weight to be in her wedding. I felt hurt and unsure how to respond. Seeking advice, I turned to Reddit for opinions on whether I was wrong to feel offended.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, advice, weightloss, marriage, sibling, wedding, offended, opinions, redditadvice, support, community, feedback, personalgrowth, conflictresolutionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My sibling advised me to shed some pounds to participate in her marriage ceremony, so I confided in her partner about her harassment. However, she was unfaithful to him while they were on their post-wedding trip, and now I am being held responsible by everyone. I never thought I would be writing something like this. I've kept most of this to myself for years. My sister Bonnie and I have always had a complicated relationship.

We're about three years apart, with me. being the older one. Growing up, our parents always seemed to favor her. They called her their perfect little princess while I was just there. From elementary school, Bonnie was always the pretty one, the popular one. I was overweight from childhood. Not hugely obese, but definitely bigger than average. When I was 17, I found out Bonnie had created a social media account dedicated to posting unflattering pictures of me with nasty captions. Her friends all followed it. Some of my classmates saw it too. I confronted her, and she deleted it, but she never apologized. She just said I should be thankful she took it down. My parents said I needed to stop being so sensitive and that sisters

tease each other. After high school, I moved out as soon as I could. I went to college in another state, specifically to get away from my family. I limited contact with all of them. I would come home for major holidays, but that was it. Even then, Bonnie always found ways to comment on my appearance. She would ask if I had gained more weight. She would say things about how I should consider surgery. She bought me exercise equipment for Christmas one year in front of everyone. Last year, Bonnie met Dan. He seemed like a genuinely nice guy, a doctor with a good reputation in the community. He was kind to me the few times we met. They got engaged after dating for eight months.

Three months ago, Bonnie asked me to meet her for coffee. I thought maybe she wanted to improve our relationship. Instead, she told me she was planning her wedding and wanted me to be a bridesmaid, but only if I lost at least 50 pounds before the wedding, which was scheduled for six months later. She showed me the bridesmaid dresses she had picked out. They only went up to size 12. I wear a size 18. She said she couldn't have me ruining her wedding photos and that this was a good opportunity for me to finally do something about my weight.

I told her I wouldn't be losing weight for her wedding. She got angry and said I was being selfish. She said in that case, I could still come to the wedding, but not as a bridesmaid, and that I should wear something slimming and dark to blend into the background. I left the coffee shop and drove straight to Dan's office. I hadn't planned to go there. I just found myself in the parking lot. I waited until his lunch break and asked if we could talk.

He agreed. I told him everything about how Bonnie had treated me over the years. I showed him some of the old social media posts I had screenshots of. I told him about the bridesmaid condition. I wasn't trying to break them up. I just wanted him to know who he was marrying. Dan was quiet for a long time after I finished. He thanked me for telling him and said he needed to think.

I left feeling numb. Three days later, Bonnie called me screaming. She said Dan had confronted her about everything I told him. She called me a jealous bitch. She said I was trying to ruin her life because I couldn't stand that she was happy and getting married while I was alone and fat. She said I was no longer invited to the wedding at all and that our parents agreed with her. My parents called later that day. They said I had blown things out of proportion and that I needed to apologize to Bonnie and that sister's fight but family is family

while saying I was just jealous of Bonnie and always had been. They threatened to cut me off completely if I didn't make things right with her. I didn't apologize. Bonnie and Dan apparently worked things out because the wedding was still on. My parents stopped speaking to me. Some extended family members reached out to ask why I was causing drama. Bonnie posted on social media about toxic family members and got tens of supportive comments. I wasn't sure if I had done the right thing. Dan deserved to know who he was marrying, but maybe I should have kept quiet.

I've spent years trying to move on from how she treated me, and now I felt like I was right back where I started. Yesterday, I got an invitation in the mail. It was to Bonnie's wedding, but just as a guest, not a bridesmaid. There was a handwritten note inside from Dan saying he hoped I would come. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Update 1, it's been two months since my last post.

I decided to go to Bonnie's wedding as a guest. I bought a simple black dress and went alone. My parents ignored me for most of the ceremony. they did acknowledge me, it was just to tell me not to cause any problems. I sat in the back during the ceremony. I didn't cry or make a scene. I just watched. The reception was at an expensive venue by the lake. Bonnie looked happy. Dan seemed happy too. He was the one who sent me the invitation to come. I congratulated them both briefly. Bonnie barely looked at me, but Dan thanked me for coming. I left early, before the cake cutting. No one noticed. I drove home feeling

empty. Two weeks after the wedding, Bonnie and Dan went on their honeymoon to the Maldives. It was supposed to be for ten days. They came back after four. At first, no one knew why. Then my cousin texted me saying there was some drama with Bonnie and Dan. She didn't know details, just that they had cut their trip short and weren't speaking to each other. Three days after they returned, Dan's sister called me. We had met at the wedding and exchanged numbers. She told me that Dan had found out Bonnie was cheating on him. Apparently, Bonnie had been texting someone throughout their honeymoon.

Dan saw the messages accidentally when Bonnie asked him to take a photo with her phone. The messages were explicit and made it clear that this wasn't a new thing. Bonnie had been seeing this other man for months, even while planning the wedding. Dan confronted Bonnie in their hotel room. She denied it at first, then admitted it, but said it didn't mean anything. Dan booked an earlier flight home. They didn't sit together on the plane. When they got back, Dan went to stay with his parents.

He was considering an annulment. My parents called me the next day. They wanted to know if I knew about Bonnie's affair. I told them I didn't. They seemed to think I might have known something or even encouraged it somehow. They said Bonnie was devastated and that Dan was overreacting. They asked me to talk to Dan, to convince him to give Bonnie another chance. I refused.

I told them I wasn't going to get involved. My mother got upset and said I was abandoning my sister when she needed me most. My father said I was still jealous of Bonnie and wanted her marriage to fail. I hung up on them. Two days later, Dan texted me. He asked if we could meet for coffee. I agreed. Dan looked tired. He told me he had confronted the other man. It turned out to be someone Bonnie knew from her gym. He had been seeing Bonnie for at least four months before the wedding. The man claimed he didn't know Bonnie was engaged at first, and by the time he found out, they were already involved. Dan did. didn't believe him. Dan asked me if I thought he should try to work things out with Bonnie. I told him I couldn't make that decision for him. He asked me more about what growing up with Bonnie was like. I told him some more stories I hadn't shared before. Like the time Bonnie told my high school crush I had a contagious skin condition. Or when she threw away my college

acceptance letter and pretended it never arrived, so I almost missed the enrollment deadline. Dan listened to everything. Before he left, he thanked me for being honest with him. He said he wished he had taken what I told him before the wedding more seriously and that he was going to move out of their house and stay with his brother until he decided what to do next. The next morning, Bonnie showed up at my apartment. She was pounding on my door so hard that my neighbor threatened to call security. When I let her in, she started yelling at me immediately.

She accused me of turning Dan against her and that I had ruined her marriage out of spite. According to her if I hadn't told Dan all those things before the wedding, he would have forgiven her for the affair. She threw her wedding ring at me and said it was my fault her life was falling apart. I stayed calm and told her to leave. She refused at first, continuing to scream accusations. Eventually she left, but not before threatening that she would make sure our parents never spoke to me again.

She said she would tell everyone in the family that I had sabotage her marriage on purpose. that day, my mother called. She told me Bonnie was staying with them and was inconsolable. She blamed me for encouraging Dan to leave Bonnie. I tried to explain what really happened, but she wouldn't listen. She said I had always been jealous of Bonnie's happiness and had finally found a way to destroy it. Then she told me not to contact any of them again until I was ready to apologize to Bonnie and help fix her marriage. I blocked all their numbers after that. A week later, Dan texted me to say he had filed for separation and was staying with his brother indefinitely. He thanked me again for being honest with him and said he hoped we could stay in touch as friends.

I said that would be okay. Yesterday, my cousin sent me screenshots of Bonnie's social media. She had posted long paragraphs about forgiveness and how marriage takes work. She hadn't mentioned the affair or Dan leaving. Instead, she was presenting everything as a normal rough patch that all newlyweds go through. The comments were full of people supporting her and telling her to stay strong. Not one mentioned what really happened. Update 2, it's been six weeks since my last update. Things have gotten even more complicated. I found out who Bonnie was having an affair with. It was Tyler, the boyfriend of her maid of honor, Melissa. They had all known each other for years. Bonnie and Melissa went to college together and had been best friends since.

Tyler and Melissa had been dating for three years and were talking about getting engaged soon. I learned this from Dan's sister, who heard it from Dan. Apparently, after Dan filed for separation, Melissa found out about the affair too. Tyler's phone had synced its cloud backup to their shared tablet, and Melissa saw all the messages between him and Bonnie. There were hundreds of them going back at least six months. Some of them were sent during wedding planning sessions that Melissa had been part of. Some were even sent during Melissa's birthday dinner, when both Bonnie and Tyler were at the table with her. Melissa confronted Tyler, who admitted everything. He told her it had started as just flirting at the gym but turned into something more. He said he had tried

to end it before Bonnie's wedding but couldn't. He also said Bonnie had told him she was going to leave Dan after they got back from the honeymoon, but she wanted to go on the expensive trip first. Melissa broke up with Tyler immediately. Then she went after Bonnie. First, she posted everything on social media. She shared screenshots of some of the messages between Bonnie and Tyler. She tagged mutual friends and family members, including my parents. She wrote a long post about how Bonnie had betrayed not just Dan but her as well, after years of friendship. Bonnie deactivated her accounts right away, but not before people had seen everything. My parents called me, demanding to know if I had something to do with Melissa's posts.

I told them I didn't even know Melissa well and had nothing to do with any of it. They didn't believe me. They were convinced I had somehow orchestrated this to further embarrass Bonnie. Three days after the social media posts, things escalated further. Melissa went to Bonnie's house where Bonnie was still living alone. They bought it together, but Dan didn't want to stay there after the affair. Melissa had a key because she had been house-sitting during what was supposed to be Bonnie and Dan's honeymoon. She let herself in while Bonnie was at work and trashed the place.

She didn't just make a mess. She took scissors to Bonnie's clothes. She poured bleach on her designer shoes. She smashed framed wedding photos. She even spray-painted cheater on the bedroom wall. Then she took photos of everything and sent them to Bonnie with a message saying this was just the beginning. Bonnie came home to the destruction and called the police. They took a report, but since Melissa had a key which was given to her and there was no forced entry, they classified

it as a civil matter rather than breaking and entering. They told Bonnie she could sue Melissa for damages but that criminal charges were unlikely. Bonnie called my parents, hysterical. They drove over immediately. My father took photos of all the damage for insurance purposes. My mother helped Bonnie pack some undamaged clothes and took her back to their house. Bonnie has been staying with them since. The next day, Melissa was at brunch with some friends when Bonnie and my mother showed up. Bonnie started screaming at Melissa in the middle of the restaurant.

She threatened to call Melissa's employer, she's a kindergarten teacher, and tell them she was mentally unstable and a danger to children. My mother joined in, calling Melissa horrible names. Someone recorded the whole thing and posted it online. Melissa's response was to laugh in Bonnie's face and tell everyone in the restaurant exactly what Bonnie had done. She read some of the messages out loud from her phone, including one where Bonnie made fun of Dan Wright after they had gotten engaged. The restaurant manager eventually asked all of them to leave. That evening, Bonnie reactivated her social media accounts and went on a posting spree. She shared photos of her damaged house and belongings. She wrote about being the victim of a mentally unstable woman's

vendetta. She never mentioned the affair or why Melissa was angry. She portrayed herself as someone dealing with a marriage separation in a mature way while being harassed by a crazy ex-friend. People started taking sides. Some of Bonnie and Melissa's mutual friends split into factions. Family members commented on posts defending either Bonnie or Melissa. It turned into a huge public spectacle. Neither of them would back down. Tyler stayed completely out of it. He moved out of the apartment he shared with Melissa and deactivated all his social media.

According to Dan's sister, Tyler texted Dan once to apologize, but Dan blocked his number without responding. Dan finally filed for annulment, not just separation. He cited infidelity as the reason. He hired a moving company to pack up his things from the house and put them in storage. He told his lawyer he didn't want the house in the settlement. Bonnie could have it. He just wanted out of the marriage as quickly and cleanly as possible. My parents blamed me for the divorce filing too.

They said if I hadn't poisoned Dan against Bonnie from the beginning, he might have been willing to work things out despite the affair. They said Melissa would never. have found out either if Dan hadn't been investigating the affair based on what I told him. According to them, everything that happened was ultimately my fault. Last week, things got even more complicated. Melissa was arrested for violating a restraining order that Bonnie had apparently filed against her after the house trashing incident.

Melissa had been driving past Bonnie's house repeatedly and had sent her threatening text messages. She spent a night in jail before being released on bail. Bonnie used the arrest to bolster her victim narrative online. She posted about fearing for her safety and how she was just trying to rebuild her life after a painful separation. She still never acknowledged the affair. Instead, she implied that Melissa had fabricated the whole thing out of jealousy over Bonnie's marriage to Dan. I stayed out of all of it. I haven't posted anything online about any of this, except Reddit off course.

I haven't reached out to Melissa or Bonnie. I've only communicated occasionally with Dan, who is doing his best to move on. He bought a condo across town and is focusing on his medical practice. He told me he's in therapy now and realizes there were red flags about Bonnie that he ignored. He said he's grateful that I was honest with him, even though it was painful at the time. Yesterday, my father emailed me. It was the first contact from either of my parents in week. He didn't apologize for blaming me for everything.

Instead, he said the family was being torn apart and that as the older sister, it was my responsibility to extend an olive branch to Bonnie. He said Bonnie was going through a hard time and needed her sister's support. He asked me to call her and offer to help her through this difficult period. I haven't responded to his email yet. I probably want LOL. Update 3. It's been two months since my last update. my last update. There's been another major development. Bonnie is pregnant. She announced it on social media three weeks ago with a picture of a sonogram. She didn't mention who the father was.

She just posted about embarking on a new chapter in her life and how excited she was to become a mother. The comments were full of congratulations from people who either didn't know about all the drama or were choosing to ignore it. My mother called me the day after the announcement. It was the first time we had spoken in months. She told me Bonnie was about 10 weeks pregnant, which meant she had gotten pregnant right around the time of the wedding. She said Bonnie didn't know if the baby was Dan's or Tyler's. She wanted me to reach out to Bonnie and offer support during her pregnancy. I told her I would think about it and hung up.

I texted Dan to ask if he knew about the pregnancy. He said he did. Bonnie had told him before she announced it publicly. He said he had asked for a paternity test, which Bonnie agreed to. They were going to wait until it was safe to do non-invasive prenatal testing, which would be in a few more weeks. Meanwhile, Tyler had resurfaced. According to Dan's sister, Tyler had been calling and texting Bonnie constantly since the

pregnancy announcement. He had even gone to my parents' house looking for her. My father had to threaten to call the police to get him to leave. Tyler was apparently convinced the baby was his and wanted to be involved. Bonnie was still living with my parents. The house she had shared with Dan was being sold as part of the divorce settlement. The damage Melissa had done decreased the value, but they still got a decent offer. The divorce proceedings were moving forward quickly since there weren't many assets to divide

and no children involved yet. Dan's lawyer was handling the paternity test situation separately. Last week, Bonnie did an interview with a local lifestyle blog about being a pregnant woman going through divorce. She painted herself as someone who was taking control of her life and embracing single motherhood. She talked about the mutual decision she and Dan made to end their marriage due to irreconcilable differences. She never mentioned the affair. She referred to the vandalism of her home as a random act of violence that taught her how precious life is. The whole thing was a complete fiction.

but people ate it up. The comments were overwhelmingly supportive. My parents shared the interview everywhere, praising Bonnie's strength and resilience. They made posts about how excited they were to become grandparents. Dan saw the interview too. He texted me saying he couldn't believe how Bonnie was rewriting history. He said his lawyer advised him not to respond publicly. The divorce was almost finalized and engaging with Bonnie's narrative would only complicate complicate things. He said he would wait for the paternity test results before deciding how to proceed regarding the pregnancy. I still haven't reached out to Bonnie about her pregnancy. I haven't congratulated her or offered support. I haven't commented on any of her posts.

I've remained completely silent. Some family members have noticed and have been messaging me about it. They say regardless of what happened between Bonnie and Dan, this baby is my niece or nephew, and I should want to be part of their life. Maybe they're right, but right now, I can't bring myself to pretend everything is okay." Edit, got a small update for you guys. Yesterday, the paternity test results came back. Dan is the father of Bonnie's baby. He called me to tell me himself. He sounded conflicted. He said he always wanted to be a father, but not like this. He said he would fulfill his financial obligations to the child but wasn't sure how involved he wanted to be beyond that, given Bonnie's behavior. After I got off the phone with Dan, my mother called.

She was ecstatic about Dan being the father. She said now Dan and Bonnie could reconcile and be a proper family. She acted as if the affair, the divorce, and everything else could just be forgotten. I told her that wasn't going to happen. Dan had moved on. The divorce was nearly final. My mother got angry and accused me again of trying to keep Dan and Bonnie apart out of jealousy. Later that day, Bonnie posted the paternity test results on social media.

She tagged Dan and wrote about how they were going to co-parent their child with love and respect despite their differences. She made it sound like they had come to this arrangement together. Dan hadn't agreed to any of it. He hadn't even spoken to Bonnie directly since the test results, only through their lawyers. Dan was furious about the post. He had his lawyer send Bonnie a cease and desist letter about making false statements regarding their relationship and co-parenting plans. He also told his lawyer to add specific clauses to the divorce settlement about Bonnie

not being allowed to use the child for social media content without his explicit permission. Meanwhile, Tyler disappeared again after learning he wasn't the father. According to mutual friends, he had been telling people he was ready to step up and be a father. He had even bought baby items. When he found out the baby wasn't his, he sold it all.