Reddit Stories - My SIBLING MENTIONED that my spouse was not a genuine GENTLEMAN during our

Episode Date: August 2, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #marriage #conflict #communicationSummary: My sibling mentioned that my spouse was not a genuine gentleman during our time together. I felt conflicted and unsure how to address the situation without causing further tension within our family dynamic.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, marriage, conflict, communication, sibling, spouse, genuine, gentleman, tension, dynamic, address, situation, mention, timeBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My sibling mentioned that my spouse was not a genuine gentleman during our gathering, so I discontinued the $800 monthly contributions we had been providing her, and she faced eviction after several months. Later she showed up drunk and got arrested at my house. My husband Matthew runs a successful YouTube channel about retro gaming and tech reviews that brings in around $180,000 a year, and we just got back from an amazing two-week trip to Japan that he completely paid for

including first-class flights, fancy hotels in Tokyo and Kyoto, and all the experiences we want to like private tours and expensive restaurants. We were so excited to share our photos and stories with my family during our usual Sunday dinner at my parents' house, and Matthew was showing everyone the video he made about Japanese arcade culture that already had over 150K views in just three days. My sister Alice, who's 28 and a single mom to her six-year-old son, Jeremy, seemed really interested in our stories and kept asking questions about the places we visited, the food we tried, and how much everything cost. Matthew was being his usual generous self and started talking about how we were thinking

of planning another trip next year, maybe to Europe this time, and mentioned that we'd love to bring some family members along if they were interested because traveling with people you care about makes everything more special. Alice's eyes lit up when she heard this and she immediately started talking about how Jeremy had never been on a plane before and how educational it would be for him to see different cultures, while my parents started getting excited about the possibility of seeing places they'd only dreamed of visiting. Matthew was explaining how his channel had been doing really well lately and that he'd been saving up specifically for experiences like this because he believed memories were more

valuable than material things, and he mentioned that his latest sponsorship deals had been particularly lucrative. That's when Alice's whole demeanor changed and she got this weird look on her face, and she started asking Matthew really pointed questions about his work schedule and whether he ever felt embarrassed telling people what he did for a living. Matthew answered honestly that he usually worked about six to eight hours a day creating content, editing videos, managing his social media, responding to sponsors, and handling the business side of things, but that he had the flexibility to work from home and set his own hours. Alice then asked if he ever missed having a real job and working with other people, and Matthew just

laughed and said he loved what he did because it combined his passion for gaming with his technical skills and allowed him to connect with people all over the world who shared his interests. He mentioned that he had actually turned down several traditional tech jobs over the years because his YouTube income was substantially higher than what any of those positions offered, and that he enjoyed the creative freedom and entrepreneurial aspects of running his own business. My parents were clearly impressed and kept asking Matthew questions about how he built his audience and managed to turn his hobby into such a successful career, and my dad even said he wished he'd had opportunities like that when he was younger.

But Alice kept getting more and more sour looking as the conversation went on, and I could see her jaw clenching every time Matthew mentioned money or success. Then Matthew started talking about the technical aspects of his setup and how he'd invested in professional grade equipment for filming and editing. And he mentioned that he was actually thinking of hiring an editor soon because his workload had increased so much that he was having trouble keeping up with demand from both his audience and potential sponsors. He said the plan was to use the extra time to focus on developing new content formats and maybe even launching a second channel focused on tech tutorials.

That's when Alice completely lost it and said, so basically you sit at home all day playing video games while my sister works a real job to support you. And now you want to throw money around taking vacations and acting like some kind of big shot when you're really just a glorified housewife who got lucky with some internet fame that could disappear tomorrow. The entire table went silent and Matthew's face went completely red, but before he could say anything Alice continued with, real men go to offices and work with other people and contribute to society instead of making stupid videos about old Nintendo games that only basement dwellers watch. And it's honestly embarrassing that you're trying to act like you're successful when you're basically

just playing around on the computer all day while other people do actual work. I immediately stood up and told Alice that she was being completely disrespectful and that Matthew worked harder than most people I knew, and that his business was legitimate and successful and she had no right to diminish his accomplishments just because she didn't understand what he did. I pointed out that Matthew had just offered to pay for a family vacation that would cost thousands of dollars and instead of being grateful or even polite about it, She was attacking him personally for no reason. Alice shot back that she was just being honest about the situation and that someone needed to point out that Matthew wasn't living in the real world,

and she said it was pathetic that I was defending someone who plays video games for a living when there were people out there doing actually important jobs like teaching and nursing work. She said Matthew was setting a bad example for Jeremy and my kid by showing them that you could make money without having a real career and that the whole YouTube thing was just a phase that would end badly. My parents immediately jumped in and told Alice that she was being completely inappropriate and that Matthew had always been respectful and kind to our family, and my mom said she was ashamed of how Alice was acting towards someone who had just offered to take our entire family on an expensive vacation. My dad said that Matthew's success was something to be celebrated, not attacked, and that Alice owed both Matthew and me a serious apology.

But Alice wasn't done and she kept going, saying that Matthew was soft and not a real man because real men didn't need to hide behind computer screens to make money, and that I deserved someone who could provide for me through traditional work instead of what she called internet begging. She said the whole YouTube career was unstable and irresponsible and that Matthew should get a real job before thinking about expensive vacations and acting like he was financially secure. Matthew finally spoke up and said very quietly that he was sorry Alice felt that way about his work, but that he was proud of what he'd built and that he'd never asked anyone in the family for money or support, only offered to share his success with people he cared about. He said he understood

that not everyone understood his business model, but that didn't give anyone the right to insult him in front of his family, and he excused himself from the table and went outside to get some air. I was absolutely furious at this point and told Alice that her behavior was disgusting and completely unacceptable, and that she had just insulted and humiliated my husband in front of our entire family for no reason other than her own jealousy and bitterness. I reminded her that Matthew and I had been giving her $800 every month for the past two years to help with her rent and Jeremy's expenses, and that we'd also paid for Jeremy's school supplies, clothes, and several emergency expenses including her car repairs and medical bills. I told Alice that since she clearly

had such strong opinions about how Matthew made his money and whether it was real enough for her standards, she obviously wouldn't want to accept any more financial help from us, and that our monthly payments to her would stop immediately. I said that if Matthew's money wasn't money wasn't good enough for her respect, then it wasn't good enough for her bills either, and that she could figure out how to pay her own expenses from now on. Alice immediately started backtracking and saying that she didn't mean it like that and that she was just frustrated about her own situation. But I told her that she had made her feelings about Matthew perfectly clear and that there was no taking back the thing she'd

said. I said that we'd been helping her out of love and family loyalty, but that she'd shown she didn't value or respect us. So there was no point in continuing the arrangement. My parents backed me up completely and told Alice that she had crossed a major line and that they agreed with my decision to stop the financial support, and my mom said that Alice needed to think seriously about how she treated people who had been nothing but generous to her. My dad said that Matthew had never been anything but kind and respectful to our family, and that Alice's attack on him was uncalled for and showed poor character on her part. Alice started crying and saying that she was sorry and that she didn't really mean what she said,

but I told her that the damage was done and that sorry wasn't enough after the way she'd spoken to and about my husband. I said that Matthew deserved better treatment for my family and that until she could genuinely understand why her behavior was wrong and make a real apology, I didn't want to hear from her. Matthew and I left shortly after that, and my parents called later that night to apologize for Alice's behavior and to tell us that they'd had a long talk with her about respect and gratitude. They said they fully supported my decision to cut off the financial help and that Alice needed to learn there were consequences for treating people badly, especially people who had been generous to her and her son. Now it's been two days and Alice has been texting me nonstop saying

that she's sorry and that she was just having a bad day, but she still hasn't apologized to Matthew directly. She keeps saying that she needs the money and that Jeremy will suffer if we don't help, but I feel like she should have thought about that before she decided to attack my husband's character and career in front of our entire family. Matthew says he's not angry anymore and that he understands Alice is probably struggling, but I can tell he was really hurt by what she said, and I don't think I can just let this go and pretend it didn't happen. The $800 a month we were giving Alice was money we could have been saving or using for our own

goals, and if she doesn't appreciate it or respect where it comes from, then I don't see why we should continue. So Ida? Edit, a lot of people are asking for his YouTube channel and the DMs and comments. I have asked him about it and he said that he doesn't want his personal life to be exposed online. Some details were already changed to be anonymous and I guess that's it. Update 1, two days later, I've been reading through all the comments and I want to address some of the criticism I'm getting about not defending Matthew enough during the dinner. Some people are saying I should have shut Alice down immediately and that I let her go on too long before I said anything,

but I want to be clear about what actually happened because I think some people are misunderstanding something. When Alice first started asking Matthew pointed questions about his work schedule and whether he missed having a real job, it honestly didn't seem that aggressive at first, and Matthew was answering her questions calmly and seemed happy to explain what he did. I thought she was just curious about his work since he doesn't talk about the business side of his change. very much during family dinners, and her initial questions seemed like normal conversation. It was only when she started getting that sour look on her face and her tone changed that I realized she was building up to something mean, but even then I thought maybe she was just having a bad day and would back off. It wasn't until she called Matthew a glorified housewife

that I realized she was actually attacking him, and I stood up and started defending him immediately after that comment. I didn't let her go on for minutes while Matthew sat there getting insulted. The whole exchange from her first nasty comment to me telling her off probably lasted less than two minutes total, and I was pushing back on her the entire time. When she said Matthew wasn't a real man, I immediately told her she was being disrespectful and that Matthew worked harder than most people, and I kept defending him throughout the rest of her rant. Some people are also saying I'm making excuses for Alice or that I should have cut contact completely instead of just stopping the money, but I'm not making excuses for her at all. What she said was completely wrong.

and I've been very clear about that in my texts to her and in conversations with my parents. I cut off the financial support because that felt like the most direct consequence for her actions, and it addresses the specific irony of her complaining about Matthew's money while taking it every month. As for cutting contact completely, I'm not ready to do that yet because Jeremy is involved and he's innocent in all of this. Alice is his only parents since his father isn't in the picture, and while I'm furious with her, I don't want to punish Jeremy by completely cutting off his only connection to our family. But that doesn't mean I'm going soft on Alice or that I'm going to let this slide.

I've told Alice through texts that she needs to apologize directly to Matthew, not just to me, and that it needs to be a real apology where she acknowledges that what she said was wrong and hurtful, not just sorry you were offended or sorry I had a bad day. I've been very clear that until she does that, we're not going to have any kind of normal relationship, and the money situation isn't even up for discussion. Matthew has been really understanding about the whole thing and he's not pushing me to handle it any particular way, but I can tell he was more hurt by Alice's comments than he's letting on.

He's been working extra hard on his videos this week and he's been quieter than usual during dinner, and I think Alice's comments about his work not being real really got to him even though he knows she's wrong. My parents have been calling to check on us and they've made it clear to Alice that they think her behavior was unacceptable. My mom told me that Alice keeps saying she didn't mean it and that she was just frustrated about her own life, but my parents aren't buying that excuse and they've told her that being frustrated doesn't give her the right to attack people who have been helping her. I'm not changing my mind about the money or about requiring a real apology.

Alice had no problem taking Matthews fake money for two years, and she had no problem being excited about a potential vacation that he would have paid for, so her sudden concern about the legitimacy of his career is obviously just jealousy and bitterness talking. Update 2. Six months later, Alice got evicted from her apartment last week and showed up at my door at 11.30 p.m. on a Wednesday night with Jeremy, begging me to let them stay with us because they had nowhere else to go. She was crying and saying that she tried everything she could think of and that she was desperate, and Jeremy was half asleep and clearly confused about what was happening. It turns out that after I stopped giving her the $800 monthly payments, Alice couldn't make her

and got behind by several months despite my parents helping her with some emergency money. She'd been working at a restaurant but couldn't get enough hours to cover all her expenses, and when she asked for more financial help from our parents, they told her they would only consider it if she apologized to Matthew first and started taking responsibility for her actions. Alice apparently never made that apology and instead spent the last six months complaining to anyone who would listen about how Matthew and I had abandoned her and Jeremy over a misunderstanding, and she kept insisting that we should help her regardless of what had happened at the dinner.

My parents told me that they'd offered to help with smaller amounts for Jeremy's immediate needs like food and school supplies, but they wouldn't pay her rent or major bills until she made things right with us. When Alice showed up at my door, she immediately started talking about how Jeremy needed stability and how he'd already been through enough disruption in his life, and she said it would be cruel to punish him for her mistakes. She kept saying that Matthew and I had plenty of space in our house and that it would only be temporary until she could get back on her feet, and she promised she would apologize to Matthew and make everything right if we would just help her through this crisis. I told Alice that I sympathized with her situation and that I felt

terrible that Jeremy was going through this, but that she'd had six months to apologize and try to repair the relationship, and instead she'd chosen to play victim and act like she was the one who had been wronged. I said that showing up at my door with Jeremy in the middle of the night and trying to use him to guilt me into helping was manipulative and unfair to everyone involved. Alice started getting angry and said that I was being heartless and that family was supposed to help each other no matter what, and she said it was ridiculous that I was holding a grudge over something she said when she was having a bad day. I reminded her that she'd called my husband a glorified housewife and not a real man in front of our entire family, and that she'd been taking

money from us for two years while apparently having no respect for how we earned it. I told Alice that if she was really desperate for help, she should try contacting Jeremy's father and asking him to step up and take responsibility for his son, since he'd been completely absent from Jeremy's life and had never paid a penny in child support. Alice immediately said that wasn't an option because Jeremy's father was unreliable and had his own problems, but I pointed out that he couldn't be less reliable than someone who had just gotten evicted and was homeless with a child. Alice started crying harder and saying that I was being cruel and that she never expected this

kind of treatment from her own sister, but I told her that I never expected to have my husband insulted and humiliated at a family dinner by someone we'd been financially supporting for two years. I said that actions have consequences and that she'd had plenty of opportunities to make things right, but she'd chosen pride over responsibility every single time. I gave Alice the number for a few local shelters and told her that my parents might be willing to help if she was ready to actually apologize and and take accountability for her behavior, but that Matthew and I weren't going to be manipulated

into helping someone who had shown such disrespect for our relationship in his career. I also told her that she needed to stop putting Jeremy in the middle of adult conflicts and that using a child as leverage was not going to work on me. Alice left angry and crying, and she's been sending me text messages ever since saying that I'm heartless and that I'll regret this when something terrible happens to Jeremy. She's also been calling my parents and apparently telling them that I threw a homeless child out on the street and that Matthew has turned me against my own family, but my parents aren't falling for her manipulation tactics. My mom called me the next day and said that while she felt sorry for Jeremy's situation,

she agreed that Alice had brought this on herself and that letting her move in without any accountability would just be enabling her behavior. My dad said that Alice had been given multiple chances to fix things and that she'd chosen to play victim instead, and that they wouldn't be providing any major financial help until she took responsibility for her actions. Matthew has been supportive throughout this whole situation and he even suggested that we could help Jeremy directly if Alice would agree to let him stay with my parents temporarily while she figured out her housing situation, but Alice refused because she said it would be splitting up her family. Matthew said he felt bad for Jeremy but

that we couldn't let ourselves be manipulated into helping someone who had been so disrespectful. I know some people will probably think I'm being too harsh, but Alice has had months to make this right and she's chosen to double down on her victim mentality instead. She's still never apologized to Matthew, and now she's trying to use her son as a weapon to force us to help her despite her continued disrespect. Final update, two months later, Alice showed up drunk at my house yesterday afternoon while I was at work and Matthew was home with our eight-year-old son, and the whole situation escalated to the point where the police had to be called and Alice was arrested for trespassing and disturbing the peace.

According to Matthew, Alice started pounding on our front door around 2 p.m. and yelling for me to come outside and talk to her. When Matthew answered the door and told her I was at work, she immediately started screaming at him and calling him a pathetic excuse for a man and a leech who had destroyed my family by turning me against her. Matthew said he could smell alcohol on her breath and that she was clearly drunk and belligerent. Matthew tried to close the door and told Alice she needed to leave, but she pushed past him and barged into our house, continuing to yell and demanding to know where I was. My son came downstairs to see what all the noise was about, and Alice immediately started yelling at him too, saying that his father was a fake man who didn't have a real job and that my son should be ashamed to have Matthew as a role model.

Matthew said my son started crying because Alice was screaming right in his face and seemed completely out of control. And when Matthew tried to get between them and protect my son, Alice shoved him and told him to act like a real man for once in his life. Matthew immediately called 911 while Alice continued to rant and pace around our living room, and he took our son upstairs to his bedroom and locked the door until the police arrived. The police found Alice in our kitchen going through our refrigerator and still yelling about how Matthew had ruined her life and destroyed our family, and when they tried to talk to her calmly. She started screaming at them too and saying that they needed to arrest Matthew instead because he was stealing money from children by not

supporting Jeremy anymore. The officers could tell she was intoxicated and when they tried to get her to leave peacefully, she refused and said she wasn't going anywhere until she talked to me. Matthew showed the police the security camera footage from our front door that clearly showed Alice forcing her way into the house after being told to leave, and he explained the background situation with the family conflict and how Alice had been harassing us since her eviction. The officers arrested Alice for criminal trespassing and public intoxication, and they told Matthew he could also file additional charges for assault if he wanted to because Alice had pushed him. I got home from work just as they were putting Alice in the police car, and she started screaming at me from the back

seat about how I had destroyed her life and that everything was my fault for choosing a fake husband over my own sister. She kept yelling that Jeremy was going to grow up without a family because of my selfishness, and that Matthew had turned me into someone she didn't recognize. After the police left, I called my parents to let them know what had happened, and they were absolutely horrified by Alice's behavior. My mom started crying and said she couldn't believe Alice would yell at my son and scare him like that, and my dad said he was ashamed that his daughter would break into someone's house and terrorize a child. They immediately drove over to check on Matthew and my son and to apologize for Alice's actions. It turns out that my parents had no idea Alice had been drinking,

and they were shocked to learn that she'd been arrested for being drunk in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday. My mom said that Alice had been staying with them occasionally over the past few weeks when she could convince them to let her, but that they'd noticed she'd been acting strange and emotional, and now they realized it was probably because she'd been drinking. My parents told me that they'd been trying to help Alice find stable housing and employment, but that she'd been sabotaging every opportunity by showing up late, acting unprofessionally, or getting into arguments with potential employers and landlords. My parents also told me that they'd been doing some investigation

and found out that Alice has been drinking heavily for at least the past month, and possibly longer. They found empty bottles hidden in their garage and realized that money they'd been giving her for groceries and Jeremy's school expenses had probably been going toward alcohol, instead. They've decided that they can't let Alice stay with them anymore because of her drinking and because they're worried about Jeremy's safety, but they want a petition for temporary custody of Jeremy so he can have a stable home environment while Alice gets help for her alcohol problem. They said they love Alice, but that she's become dangerous and unpredictable, and that Jeremy needs protection from her behavior. My mom said that Alice's drinking probably

explains why she's been so hostile and irrational about the whole situation with Matthew and me, and why she's been unable to maintain employment or housing despite their help. My dad said that they should have recognized the signs earlier but that they'd been making excuses for Alice's behavior because they wanted to believe she was just struggling with the stress of being a single mother. Alice is still in jail as of this morning because she couldn't make bail, and my parents said they're not going to help her get out until she agrees to go to rehab and get treatment for her drinking.

They've contacted a lawyer about getting emergency custody of Jeremy, and they've also spoken to the school and Jeremy's doctor about the situation to make sure he's getting the support he needs. I feel terrible that it took this long for everyone to realize how serious Alice's problems had become, and I feel guilty that my son had to experience her yelling and aggression yesterday. Matthew has been amazing throughout this whole situation and he's not holding any grudges against Alice despite everything she's put us through, and he's been focused on making sure he feels safe and loved. The police officer who handled Alice's arrest told us that we should consider getting a restraining order if Alice continues to harass us

after she gets out of jail, and he said that her behavior yesterday showed clear signs of escalation that could become dangerous if she doesn't get help for her drinking. Matthew and I are going to wait and see what happens with her legal situation and whether she gets into treatment, but we're definitely going to be more careful about our security and safety going forward.