Reddit Stories - My SIBLING'S spouse made ADVANCES TOWARDS me, but I turned them down. They

Episode Date: November 3, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #boundaries #conflict #communicationSummary: My SIBLING'S spouse made ADVANCES TOWARDS me, but I turned them down. They.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, boundaries, conflict, communication, sibling, spouse, advances, turned down, boundaries, personal space, family dynamics, uncomfortable situation, respect, communication skillsBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. My sibling spouse made advances towards me, but I turned them down. They then created false text messages to deceive my relatives into believing that I was attempting to take them away from my sister. And they cut me off for three years until my sister found out he was the one cheating. I, 27F now, am the younger sister in this situation, and my world pretty much imploded three years ago. My older sister, I'll call her Jane, 31F, has been married to my brother-in-law, Mike, 33M, for about five years. We all used to be a close-knit family. I honestly thought Mike was a decent guy and a good husband to my sister.

I had no reason to suspect anything was off, until one night changed everything. It was a family dinner party at our parents' house. Towards the end of the evening, Mike cornered me in the kitchen while I was alone, cleaning up. He was a bit tipsy, and at first, I assumed he was coming in to help or just chat. Instead, he told me he had feelings for me and that he felt a strong connection between us. I remember him saying something gross along the lines of we should explore this connection when my sister wasn't around. I was completely taken aback and immediately shut him down. I told him to cut it out and that he was disgusting for even thinking about cheating on my sister,

and with her own sister, no less. Mike quickly backpedaled, claiming it was just a joke and that I was overreacting. He even tried to laugh it off like it was some ha-ha funny misunderstanding. I was not buying it at all. His tone had been serious until I rejected him. I just stormed out of the kitchen and made sure I wasn't alone with him for the rest of the night. I didn't tell my sister right then.

In hindsight, maybe I should have, but I was in shock and honestly afraid of blowing up her marriage or causing a huge family scene. I figured if I just stayed away from him, it would protect me and avoid hurting Jane. Over the next few weeks, I went low contact with them. I skipped a couple of family gatherings to dodge Mike. I thought maybe he realized what a line he crossed and that he'd keep his distance too. Well, a few weeks later I got a phone call from my sister. Jane was hysterical, screaming at me the second I picked up. She accused me of seducing her husband

and trying to steal him away. I remember her yelling, how could you do this to me? You've been coming on to Mike for months, you homewreck her. I was so shocked I couldn't even speak at first. When I finally collected myself, I tried to tell her that she had it completely backwards, he was the one who came on to me. But she wasn't listening at all. She told me that Mike had confessed to her that I had been pursuing him relentlessly, and apparently he even showed her screenshots of text messages to prove that I had been begging him to leave her. I was floored. I told her to please look at my actual phone, because those messages were obviously fake or from a spoof number.

My real chat history with Mike would show I never sent anything like that. I had nothing to hide and was desperate to prove it. Jane refused to even consider it and said I probably deleted the evidence. She said Mike warned her I would try to lie my way out of it. He had been priming her to think I was after him, and it worked. It turned out that Mike had spun this elaborate story painting me as some jealous, deranged little sister trying to steal her husband. He told her I had flirted with him at that dinner party and many times before,

and that he'd been fighting off my advances out of loyalty to her. He claimed I became unhinged when he refused to leave her, and that I started begging and harassing him. The level of detail he put into this lie, including those fake texts, is honestly terrifying. To this day I have no idea how he fabricated those screenshots so convincingly. He must have used a spoof app or something to impersonate my number. My sister believed him wholeheartedly. Nothing I said made a difference.

She even said she felt betrayed by her own blood. She told my parents and the entire family her version of what was happening before I even knew what was being said about me. By the time I tried to reach out to my parents to explain, they had already taken my sister's side completely. My mother wouldn't hear me out. She told me she was disgusted with me and never expected such cruelty from her daughter. My father said I needed to apologize immediately to my sister and to Mike for trying to wreck their marriage. My extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, and even many of our family friends all heard this story. Mike and my sister made sure everyone knew that I was, in their words, a homewrecker

who tried to sleep with her sister's husband. I was basically run out of town by this smear campaign. People I had known my whole life were looking at me like I was some predator in my own family. I was beyond devastated and furious. I cut off contact with Mike and my sister completely after that blow up. I tried to reason with my parents one more time, pleading with them to actually look at my phone or let me show them anything to prove my innocence. They shut me down and said it was only making things worse that I refused to take responsibility. According to them, the more I insisted I was innocent, the more I was hurting my sister. It was insane. The only person who half believed me was my older brother. We have a brother, 34M, who lives in another state. He told me

that the accusations felt out of character for me, but he was hesitant to fully take my side without proof. There was no convincing proof I could give, since the evidence was faked and no one would look at my actual data. At that point I had lost my family and a lot of friends. I was basically persona non-grata in my hometown. I decided there was nothing left for me there. I ended up accepting a job offer in another state, I'd been considering it before, and this fiasco pushed me to go for it. I moved about 1,000 miles away to get away from the gossip and judgment. Honestly, I ran away to survive. The stress of being falsely accused and shunned by everyone was eating me alive. I needed a fresh start where I wasn't that home wrecker. So I moved to Colorado and slowly built a new

life. I found an apartment, focused on my career, and eventually met a wonderful guy who is now my boyfriend. He knows the whole story and has been super supportive. I went from talking to my family every day to almost complete silence. Over the last three years, I only communicated with my parents a handful of times, and those were mostly one-sided conversations where they'd ask if I was done with my temper tantrum and ready to apologize to my sister. Yeah, seriously, I basically went no contact with Jane and Mike. I still followed family news through my brother or occasionally social media, but I was living as if I didn't have parents or a sister anymore. It hurt like hell, but I kept telling myself I did nothing wrong and I couldn't make them see the truth if they

refused to look. That was my life for three years. A weird mix of peace, away from the toxic drama and sadness, missing the family I thought I had. I never expected anything to change. But a few weeks ago, completely out of the blue, my sister Jane called me. I almost didn't pick up because I still had her number blocked. I only saw it was her because she called from our parents' phone. I answered thinking something terrible must have happened, because why else would she be calling after three years of radio silence? As soon as I said hello, I heard Jane sobbing. Like really sobbing, the kind of crying where you can barely get words out. I got instant goosebumps because my first thought was that someone died or something awful. It took a couple of

minutes for her to calm down enough to speak in full sentences. The first clear thing she said was, I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry. We were wrong. I was totally caught off guard. I didn't even know what to say at first, I just stood there in my kitchen with my heart pounding, listening to my estranged sister apologize over and over. Eventually, Jane managed to explain what had happened. Turns out, Mike has been cheating on her with multiple women for who knows how and she just found out. He apparently got sloppy or arrogant, and Jane discovered concrete evidence. I think she found flirty messages on his phone or maybe one of the other women contacted her. When she confronted him, a ton of ugly truths came spilling out. According to Jane,

Mike confessed that he lied about me years ago. He admitted that he did come onto me at that party and that when I rejected him, he panicked because he thought I might tell everyone what he did. So, in his words, he had to be proactive. Being proactive meant turning the tables and accusing me first so that I would have no credibility if I ever exposed him. He literally said he figured no one would believe me after he painted me as the scheming home-wrecking sister. I guess in his twisted mind, that was easier than owning up to his own behavior or, you know,

not hitting on his wife's sister in the first place. Jane was crying the whole time she told this to me. I had imagined this phone call or this moment so many times, the moment Jane would finally believe me, and now that it was happening, I didn't even know what to feel. Jane kept saying how sorry she was for not trusting me and for turning everyone against me. She said I had every right to hate her, but begged me to let her come see me because she had nowhere else to go. At this point, I learned that our parents were actually taking Mike's side in her current

situation, more on that in a bit, so she truly felt alone. She said she understood if I slammed the door in her face, but she was going to divorce Mike and had already left him, and she literally had no one except me now. I won't lie, this was extremely conflicting. This same sister had basically thrown me to the wolves based on nothing but her cheating husband's lies. That betrayal ran deep. Part of me wanted to tell her to go to hell and deal with the fallout herself. But, She's my sister, and she was clearly in a horrible situation. I could hear the desperation and heartbreak in her voice. In the end, I told her she could come.

With conditions. I made it clear that this wasn't an automatic forgiveness or that everything was okay between us now. I said she could stay with me for a couple of weeks, just until she got on her feet, but that we'd need to have some serious talks about everything that happened. About a week later she showed up on my doorstep, and it was just intense.

My boyfriend, 30M, was with me for support when she arrived, but I asked him to give us some space for a bit after the initial reunion. It was awkward at first. She was crying, again, and I admittedly was pretty cold initially. I think I said something like, I need you to know that I'm still really angry with you, but I'm willing to help you right now. She nodded and said she completely understands

and that I have every right to feel that way. There weren't any big hugs or anything dramatic. It was more like two hurt people trying to navigate a mess. Over the next few days, Jane and I talked a lot. She finally heard my side of what happened three years ago, because she actually let me speak this time. She was horrified at how she had treated me. But what really struck me was the new information she shared about Mike's manipulation over the years.

Honestly, it gave me chills. Jane said that in hindsight, he had been gaslighting her for a long time, and not just about me. For example, she told me that whenever I used to come over or we all hung out, Mike would later make little comments to her like, Your sister sure was touchy with me today, I hope she knows I'm just joking around, even if I barely interacted with him. He was subtly planning the idea that I was interested in him or at least not respecting boundaries, which at the time she just brushed off. He also made her think I was kind of boy crazy and untrustworthy with men in general.

For context, I dated around in my early 20s, nothing wild, but he twisted that to imply I had a pattern of going after taken men, which is absolutely untrue. It was like he was running a long con to poison the well, so to speak. By the time he made that big lie about me, Jane was already conditioned to doubt my character. I sat there listening to this, it's one thing to suspect someone is manipulative, but hearing the extent of his gaslighting just made my skin crawl. Jane also admitted that he had been gaslighting her in their marriage about other things, like if she ever thought he was cheating before, he deflect and make her feel crazy for even questioning him. Classic stuff like accusing her of not loving him or being paranoid whenever

she brought up concerns. She said she doubted her own sanity at times because he was so adamant that she was the problem. Anyway, as for the immediate situation, Jane is dead serious about divorcing him. She's already met with a divorce attorney and started the paperwork. I was proud of her for that. She's showing more resolve than I honestly expected, given how under his thumb she was. She also filed for a restraining order after he blew up at her when she left. Apparently when she first told him their marriage was over, he went ballistic, yelling, swearing, and she decided right then to get a T. T.R. temporary restraining order. Smart move. She's been documenting every nasty text and voicemail from him since.

Meanwhile, our parents have been, well, not great. They are in deep denial about who Mike really is. Jane tried to tell them about the cheating and even about the admission that he lied about me. But my mom basically said, there are two sides to every story, and that Jane shouldn't throw away her marriage over some mistakes. My dad was insisting that she think of counseling and forgiveness. It's wild, they were ready to excommunicate me over an imaginary affair, but now that their son-in-law has literally cheated on their daughter for real,

and lied extravagantly, they're acting like she's overreacting by leaving him. Jane and I suspect a couple of things. One, they're embarrassed they believed Mike's lies and trashed me, and two, I think Mike has been doing damage control with them, probably feeding them more BS to make himself the victim. So, that's where things stand after week one of this reunion. I let my sister stay in the guest room, and we're taking it day by day. It's strange, I have a lot of anger towards her still, but I also feel protective of her as my sister.

She's going through hell, and I can see that. We agreed to keep communication open and honest between us. I told her trust will take time to rebuild, and she said she'll do whatever it takes to earn it. For now, I'm helping her get through this separation from Mike safely. We've been in contact with a few of the other women he cheated with. Yeah, she found out there were multiple affairs, to gather evidence and possibly friendly witnesses if things get ugly in the divorce. It's been an absolutely crazy few weeks, but at least the truth is coming out. Update 1, my brother-in-law Mike has completely lost it now. A few days after my last update,

that Mike went on a destructive rampage back in the house my sister had shared with him. Jane wasn't there, she's still staying with me, thankfully. It seems Mike showed up to their house drunk and absolutely lost his mind. From what neighbors and the police told us, he was screaming and breaking things, he smashed their living room window with a patio chair, destroyed some furniture, and generally trashed the place. The neighbors heard the commotion and actually thought someone might be hurt, so they called the cops.

The police arrived and found Mike in a drunken rage, and they arrested him on the spot. He's facing charges from my sister for property destruction, domestic disturbance, and who knows what else, probably public intoxication, maybe even violating the restraining order if that covers the home, not sure on the technicalities. Jane was really shaken up hearing about this. Even though she wasn't there to see it, just knowing that is scary. We went over to the house, with police escort, the two days during day-lawful. to assess the damage and get some of her remaining personal items.

It was surreal, broken glass everywhere, overturned furniture, holes in the drywall. He even spray painted something nasty on the bedroom wall. It said F you, except the full words, in huge letters. Real classy. We grabbed important documents, some sentimental items, and her clothes, and got out of there. Neither of us want her setting foot in that house again if we can help it. As if that wasn't enough, Mike somehow got a hold of my phone number. I have no idea how, I had changed it after moving states and only family had the new number.

My guess is that in the chaos of everything, our parents might have given it to him, maybe thinking he wanted to apologize or talk to me, who knows? Or he obtained it through some online people finder. However he did it, the fact is he started harassing me directly. I began getting calls and texts from unfamiliar numbers with area codes from back home and also random ones. At first I didn't answer, but the voicemails and texts made it obvious it was him. He was sending me the most vile crap you can imagine, calling me every name in the book, accusing me of turning his wife against him, saying I'd owe him for the damage I've caused.

It was unhinged. I blocked each number as they came, but he'd just use a different number or some texting app. It's downright stalking slash harassment. I saved all the evidence to give to the police because now I'm considering getting my own restraining order against him as well. Jane already has hers, but we might need to extend it to cover me too. Now, the family angle. My parents have unfortunately not snapped out of their delusion yet. In fact, after Mike's rampage and arrest, he somehow spun the story to make himself the victim when talking to my parents.

I don't know exactly what he told them, but the result was my parents calling me in a panic, believing that my sister is having some kind of mental breakdown and that I'm feeding into it. It was absurd. They literally said Mike told them that Jane isn't in her right mind and that I'm encouraging her to destroy her life and marriage. He apparently suggested that Jane's allegations of him cheating are false and a result of me brainwashing her because you're bitter. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

So my mom and dad started imploring me to please send your sister home and to stop filling her head with nonsense. They were more upset at the fact that Jane had fled to me than that Mike had just been arrested for wrecking the house. The twisted irony is unbelievable. The conversation with my parents devolved into them actually threatening to disown me, as if we aren't already basically no contact, if I didn't cooperate. My mom said something like, if you don't fix this and get your sister to come to her senses, then don't bother calling us daughter or parents anymore. That hurt, I'll admit, even though I was furious. I told them in no uncertain terms that I was done tolerating their denial

and that I was not sending Jane back into a harmful situation just to make them comfortable. I also might have yelled that they should be ashamed of themselves for choosing a lying cheater over both their daughters. It got heated and ended with me hanging up on them for probably the first time in my life. The one somewhat positive thing is with our brother, the one who initially half believed me. He took it upon himself to investigate Mike's claims independently after he heard about the current chaos. I think seeing how upset our parents were and how dire things got made him realize something wasn't adding up. He actually contacted a acquaintance who works at the same company as Mike to discreetly ask what the deal is.

Well, according to this coworker and a couple others, Mike's cheating was practically an open secret at his workplace. Apparently Mike has been flirting and messing around with multiple women there, and people knew him as that guy who cheats on his wife. The coworker even said we always wondered how Jane didn't know. So yeah, my brother basically got confirmation from third parties that Mike is a serial cheater and liar. My brother was livid.

He apologized to me for not believing me back then and said he feels like an idiot forever giving Mike the benefit of the doubt. He took all this information to our parents. I wasn't there for that conversation, but it sounds like he laid into them with a reality check. Unfortunately, even with this evidence, my parents remained in a mix of denial and stubbornness. My dad's reaction was something along the lines of, even if that's true, marriages can be saved. This isn't a reason to throw everything away.

I cannot express how frustrated that made my sister. She told them, he lied to you about your own daughter and you're still defending him. And they just kept saying they only want what's best and not to act rashly. It's like they've dug in so deep, they can't admit they were so wrong about him. Or maybe there's another reason they're so desperate to keep him around. So, that's where we were after the Rampage Incident. Mike was in jail overnight and then released on bail. His brother bailed him out, I think.

He's awaiting a court date for the charges. Jane is safe with me, though we're both pretty on edge now, knowing how unstable he is. I did go ahead and speak with a lawyer about getting a restraining order for myself, and we're in the process of that. We changed our phone numbers and are super careful about our whereabouts. I even alerted my apartment building security about the situation and gave them his photo, So they'd know to call the cops if they saw him around. I'm not playing around with this lunatic.

My parents, sadly, are still drinking the Kool-Aid. They have not cut contact with Mike and seem to think Jane is just emotional and will eventually forgive him if it weren't for my influence. I can't talk to them right now, it's too infuriating and hurtful. For now, I'm focusing on keeping my sister safe and getting that divorce and legal protections in place. Update 2. A few days after the last update, Mike flew out to Colorado where I live.

Yes, he got on a damn plane and showed up in my city, presumably to hunt down his wife, and me. One evening, my sister and I were at my apartment winding down for the day. I was in the kitchen making tea and she was watching TV. Suddenly, we hear this loud banging on my front door. Not just knocking, but full on pounding, as if someone was trying to break. break it down. We both froze for a second. Then we heard Mike's voice shouting on the other side, I know you're in there. Open the fucking door. My heart jumped into my throat. Jane looked like she was about to have a panic attack. I immediately called 911 on my cell

while telling Jane to go lock herself in the bathroom or bedroom. While I was on the phone with dispatch, Mike continued to rage outside the door. He was yelling horrible stuff, you bitches ruined my life. And, Jane, you belong with me, you can't hide. Along with a bunch of incoherent drunken rambling. He started hitting or kicking the door, and I honestly thought he might break it down if the cops didn't arrive soon. I was terrified. The police thankfully showed up within about five minutes, though it felt like forever. I don't think Mike realized I had called them, because when they arrived and shouted for him to step back, he sounded surprised. There was a lot of yelling, from the cops, from Mike, and I heard a scuffle. I was still on the

phone with 911 when it went quiet outside. After a moment, one of the officers knocked and identified himself. I opened the door to see Mike being held down on the hallway floor by two officers and another officer standing by. Mike was red-faced, maybe crying or just extremely drunk, or both. He started yelling again when he saw me and my sister in the doorway, something like this isn't over. And the cops had to basically drag him out while cuffed. They arrested him on the spot for trespassing, harassment, and resisting arrest, because he definitely did not go quietly. That incident was the final straw for a lot of people. Firstly, it scared the crap out of me and Jane. We knew he was unstable, but him actually coming all the way here and doing that.

It's a whole new level of dangerous. We're pursuing further legal action, our restraining orders are being adjusted and extended, and we plan to throw the book at him for any applicable charges. I've also talked to my apartment management and dug into them on how was he even allowed when I specifically told them not to allow him anywhere near us. Now they're letting us break our lease without penalty, because we don't feel safe here anymore. We'll be moving to a new place, still in the city, but undisclosed and hopefully undisclosed. known to him. Now, as for my parents, this finally, finally opened their eyes. Or at least it knocked

some sense into my dad. Just a few hours after the arrest, my father called me. He sounded shaken and was basically at a loss for words. He apologized to me, plainly and sincerely, for not believing me from the start. My mom got on the phone too and she was crying. She also apologized this was a big deal because my mother is not one to ever admit being wrong. She told me the truth about why they were so resistant to cutting Mike off or seeing his faults. Apparently, Mike had been financially helping my parents quietly over the last couple of years. I knew my dad had some health issues and had to retire early, but I didn't realize they were struggling. It turns out Mike was giving them money every month to help with the mortgage and some medical bills. My parents say this isn't an

excuse for what they did, but it did cloud their judgment. They didn't want to lose that support, and they convinced themselves it wasn't that bad because they felt indebted to him. I have very mixed feelings hearing this. The bottom line is, my parents have now completely cut ties with Mike. They told me they threatened to report him to the police if he ever contacts them again. They are standing by my sister, finally. They even offered to come out here to help out, but for now I told them to hold off until we're a bit more stable and ready. There's a lot of healing needed before I'm ready for a full family reunion. But I appreciate the gesture, and I do feel some sense of vindication that they actually believe me now. It's just sad that it took

things going this far for them to see the truth. In the aftermath of all this, we're trying to move forward. Jane actually got a job offer in Denver. She had been applying to a few places since she decided she won't be going back to her old house or city. She's accepted the offer and it starts next month. So she's going to be staying in Colorado long term, which I'm really happy about. We've started apartment hunting for her so she can have her own place once the dust settles a bit more. In the meantime, we're both going to therapy individually and we have plans to do some family therapy with our parents in the near future.

There are a lot of wounds and trust issues to work through, but at least now everyone is on the same page about where the blame lies squarely on Mike. Mike, for his part, is facing some serious consequences. Between the rampage at his house and the incident at my apartment, he's got multiple charges in two different states. My sister's divorce case is strengthened by all of this, obviously. I don't know what ultimately will happen to him, legally or otherwise, and frankly I don't care as long as he stays the hell away from us. We've heard through the grapevine that he's lost his job as well. Hard to keep a job when you're getting arrested and your workplace knows you as the office creep. Good riddance.

So, that's the saga. It's been absolutely crazy, not gonna lie. The silver lining is that I have my sister back in my life and the truth is out. Hopefully this is the last I'll ever have to speak of Mike. We're working on moving on from this mess.