Reddit Stories - My spouse struck her child with her PARTNER, MASQUERADING as a RELATIVE, until

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #parenting #relationships #familydrama #emotionalabuse #childprotection  Summary: A spouse physically harmed her child while pretending to be a relative. This shocking incident raises questions about trust and the dynamics of family relationships. The situation reveals deeper issues within the family unit, prompting discussions on parenting styles and the importance of safeguarding children's well-being.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, parenting, family, relationships, emotionalabuse, childprotection, trustissues, familydynamics, abuseawareness, mentalhealth, support, communication, conflictresolution, familyvalues, childrights, safetyfirstBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

Episode with two stories, first part. I hope you enjoy this story. My spouse struck her child with her partner, masquerading as a relative, until I revealed the reality and presented her with separation documents. I find myself in a perplexing predicament. I don't even know how to start. I'm 34M, married to Harper, 28F, for over a year. I met her two years back when she was working as a waitress in a restaurant. I worked as a store manager for a supermarket. Her restaurant was a few buildings away from my supermarket and we used to take the same bus while returning from work. We took the last bus home. She lived one stop before mine.

We wouldn't have noticed each other had it been a normal busy time. But that was the last bus on that route and it was empty. We commuted with each other for at least a month but didn't talk to each other. I used to notice her. She was beautiful and she didn't look like someone from the city. After a month, she didn't show up for three to four days. I thought she had left the job or changed her shift. When I saw her again, I couldn't help but ask her if she was on leave.

She said yes, she was under the weather. That's how we started talking. She lived with a roommate who was a cashier at a different restaurant. We became friends and liked each other's company. We both were from remote places of the country and we got along well with each other. We didn't have family living in the city, neither we had many friends. I was in the city for three to four years and she arrived two years ago. So our friends were mostly work friends.

After a few months, my roommate got another job in a different part of the city and he moved out. Harper and I started living together. I made the first move. Not that I was desperate. But I loved her. She was very timid and eventually got dependent on me. I liked protecting her. After a year of knowing each other, I asked her if she wanted to meet my parents.

She said yes. I took her with me on the next visit to my house. My family was delighted to host her. We stayed there for a day, she said she really liked my family. After a few months, I proposed to her for marriage. She said yes. I insisted on meeting her family. She had no one except her mother, an elder sister, and a niece. Harper was very close to her niece. This became a problem for me. We'll come to that eventually. I went to meet them. They were very sweet people. Yeah, one more thing. Harper was the breadwinner of her house.

Her mother and sister worked at their farm but the money was not enough to sustain. So, Harper moved out to the city and got a job. I was proud to know this. I started respecting her more than before that she was a responsible girl who was feeding her family and not like those city girls leaching on their BF or father's money. We got married after a year of knowing each other. It was a small intimate affair with close family and friends. We got married at my family church.

That has been our tradition. Harper and her family were fine to come down to my hometown. Ever since we started dating, Harper used to talk about her niece. Let's call her C.D. Me. She is six years old. She talked about having a good life for C. Dot me. I encouraged her because why not? It was such a noble thing to do.

Harper said her sister has been a single mother. Her husband abandoned her when C. Dupme was a few months old. Since then, she has been living with Harper and her mother. Harper said she never wanted to get married until she met me. She said that her previous boyfriends didn't like Harper's closeness with her niece and that she was providing for her. I didn't see that to be a problem. I saw that to be Harper's responsibility to take care of her family. And the way Harper took care of her niece was an act of good deed.

Harper wanted to bring C. Dutmi to the city and get her admitted to a modern school. C. Dutmi was studying in a community school that lacked modern infrastructure. I asked her if her sister would be okay to let her small girl live so far from her. Harper said why not, it is for her own good future. Harper had a plan of taking a culinary course and switching her career to be a chef. That would pay her better. She had been saving money for that course. Harper used to contribute to the household expenses when we were living together but after our wedding,

she said she wanted to save extra to be able to take her course as early as possible. She said it was a matter of three months. I agreed to bear the expenses alone. It was difficult for me to bear for two people. I lived paycheck to paycheck with zero savings. After completing her course, she started hunting for a chef's job. She had a false notion that she would get a high-paying chef's job just after her course. High-paying jobs need experience.

She got a job but the pay was not what she was expecting. It was slightly higher than what she used to get as a waitress. As soon as she got the job, she insisted on bringing her niece and getting her admitted to a good school. See, I'm not against the idea that she wants to educate her niece but she has to be realistic in her approach. I asked her to wait for another year and get a better paying job before taking on such a huge responsibility. I don't want to sound greedy, neither I'm behind her for money, but the thing is Harper had stopped contributing anything to the house. Earlier, she said she wanted to save for the course, but now she is saying that she is saving

for Simi's admission fee. I have tried to make her understand that it is a big responsibility and she is clearly not ready for it. But whenever I bring up this topic, she gets upset and says that I'm acting like her previous boyfriends who were reluctant to let her take the responsibility. She says that she won't push Simai's responsibility on me, but how do I make her explain that I was indeed carrying her responsibility for over a year now? I know I'll be labeled as insensitive for not supporting her in this. Trust me, I really want to support her, but my earnings don't allow me to do so. I don't have a fancy job which can bear the expenses of the two of us. I also have this feeling that Harper would

exhaust all her salary and Simi's school fees and I would have to bear the household expenses for three of us. I want to know the neutral perspective. Am I the A-hole for stopping Harper from taking her niece's responsibility? Update 1. Thanks for all the assurance. Sometimes I used to guilt trip that I was being insensitive towards Simi, but you guys are right, Harper was impractical about the situation. A few weeks ago, Harper visited her hometown in this time. She brought Simi along. She didn't tell me that she was going to bring her right away. When I asked her, she said, yeah, ain't we discussing this for a long time? She took Simi for admission, but it was denied. Simi couldn't crack the school interview. Her knowledge was weak. She was weak,

for the class she was interviewing for. There was one more problem. The money was short. Harper decided to put Simi into private coaching to brush up her knowledge and meanwhile took another job to save for the admission fee. As I dread, the household expenses fell on me solely. Now the situation has become such that Harper and I barely talk to each other. She has a day job as a chef and works as a waitress in the evenings.

On her day off, she spent. spends time with her niece. I didn't complain about it because I'm also getting distant from Harper, I don't know I just don't feel that intimacy and love for her. Maybe because of the way she had been acting for the last few months. I don't come in her priority list at all. I feel she only cares for her family and her niece. I don't feel the love and warmth from her anymore. Whenever I confront her regarding the house bills, she requests me to bear them for some time until she gets Simai admitted to the school. She said that she had calculated everything.

Her salary should be able to cover Simi's school fee and their share of the household expenses. I have tried to make her understand that it is not just about the school fees. There are thousands of other expenses in the school-like projects, excursions, and whatnot. I even suggested admitting Simi to another school with a lower fee bracket but Harper insists on admitting her to an international school. I don't know why she is so desperate to admit Simei to the international school right away. I mean that the admission season is over. I asked her to wait for a year but she looks in a hurry and is even ready to pay extra and get her admitted midterm. I don't know how long I will be able to control my anger before I explode.

I'm not an impulsive or aggressive person. So I'm putting up with her as long as I can. I don't even know where this situation is leading to. Would appreciate any advice on dealing with this situation. Update two guys, it is not getting any better. My marriage is going downhill. Three months ago, Harper got a head chef's job with a good joining bonus. The joining bonus and her savings were sufficient for Simi's admission.

This time she passed her admission test as well, but one new concern came up. The school wanted to interview the parents as well. Harper didn't inquire about the admission procedure before. There's a new thing with this new age school that they want to verify if the children were coming from a decent family background which would enhance their school culture. The school adopted this policy with the rising number of drug addicts parents in the city. They don't want children of such parents in the school because they are a bad influence on other kids. I know it's unfair for those kids but that's how it is. The problem is Harper's sister has never.

been to school. International schools admit only those children whose parents are at least high school graduates. Harper came up with a weird solution to this problem. She wanted us to adopt Simi as our daughter. Yes. She said she would have adopted her as a single mother, but now that we are married, we have to adopt her as parents. I'm not against a noble act, but it should be my decision and not something that is rubbed on me and Harper was doing that. She was rubbing her niece's responsibility on me. She doesn't realize that adoption means giving my name to her. It's a huge responsibility and I'm just not ready for it. After she asked me to volunteer for adoption, I asked her the difficult question which I was avoiding until now. I asked her about our own children.

I told her that she was planning to spend all her income on her niece. Then what would happen when we have our own children? How do we manage the expenses then? I honestly, I honestly, I honestly told that raising a baby was just not possible for me alone. Even people doing corporate jobs need two people's income to raise children and lead a good life. She snapped back and said, Let's not have children then. I lost my SHT and stormed out of the house, wishing her good life with her niece. That was the first time I ever lost my cool. She followed me outside and kept saying sorry.

I shrugged her off and left the house. She called me non-stop and sent a voicemail that she didn't mean that. She just said in a moment of rage, she kept saying sorry and how much she loved me and all that. I came back home and told her that I wouldn't adopt her niece as my daughter. She tried to convince me, but I made a clear stand that I wouldn't. She didn't say anything further but is not happy with my decision. I know I should have had this confrontation with her regarding our children way before she brought her niece into our lives. Trust me, I never saw that coming.

We discussed about having kids after two, three years and she was up for it. I don't know how else should I have figured it out. I don't know guys. If it's just me who is overthinking about the situation or if any of you also feel weird about her obsession with her niece, I don't know. Maybe I'm just overthinking. I don't have any siblings so maybe I don't know how it feels to love your siblings unconditionally. She said she loved her sister and her niece unconditionally. Update 3 I'm so glad that I posted my concern here.

I get so many fresh perspectives which I would have never thought about. Yes, I took the advice and got a pie on Harper. If you guys didn't hint towards that angle, I would have never thought about it. I mean people hire PL when they suspect them of cheating or anything. It was not there in my case. It was just a money matter over her niece but glad I hired a pie. It indeed came out to be a cheating case. The agency found that Simmy was actually Harper's daughter and not her sisters.

Whatever she told about her sister was the actual story of Harper. She had a boyfriend in her hometown who impregnated her and fled when he got to know about it. By then, it was too late for abortion. Harper lived in a small town and this news could become gossip in no. time. Harper's mother sent her to her sister. She stayed with her sister until Simmy turned one or something. Meanwhile, her sister also faced problems with her marriage which eventually led to a divorce. Both of the sisters moved back to their mother with Simi. They told everyone that Simi was her sister's daughter. It was a convenient lie. They were surviving on working on farmlands and doing other

odd jobs but it was getting difficult for them to survive so Harper moved to the city. She was the only one in her family to have completed her high school. She also wanted to build a good life for her daughter. Seamy's birth certificate had Harper's name as the mother. I was just so disheartened to know this. I wept in the agency office. I threw Seamy's birth certificate on Harper's face, she turned pale and stood numb, she fumbled and said that she was afraid to inform me before that she had adopted Simi Wright after her birth, she didn't know that I had the complete information about her background. She said that her previous boyfriends dumped her when they got to know that she had adopted her sister's daughter. So she had hidden this

from me. She had the audacity to create one. More lie on my face. I shouted at her that I knew all her F-king truth and through the agency's full report in her face. She glanced through it and gave up. She understood that I knew everything and there was no point lying further. She broke down and admitted that all of it was true. I asked her why she didn't tell me the truth. She said she had a long-term boyfriend before me but he dumped her when she disclosed her past. Basically, he didn't want to take the responsibility of her child. I asked her if it was pre-planned to rub the adoption thing on me. She said yes. I no longer felt sorry. I no longer felt sorry. I was for her. If she had told me the truth before while we were dating, I might have agreed to adopt

her daughter. There are so many men who marry single mothers only if she was honest about her past. But she chose to play around. I asked her to leave the house and told her that I would be divorcing her. She cried and begged, but I was unmoved. It was nighttime. I asked her to leave the next morning. I checked into a hotel that night because I didn't want her to manage her. me. Not that I wasn't strong at my decision, but that emotional drama was just so mentally draining. The next day when I went home, she was gone with her daughter. It's been a week now. I have filed for the divorce. Our marriage wrapped up within a year and I don't have any substantial wealth to fight for, so I'm hoping that the divorce would be smooth. Update 4 when the

divorce papers reached her, Harper came running to my house. I don't know why it was such a surprise to her. She said she didn't expect me to divorce her on such a trivial matter. She had hidden her daughter, posed it as her niece, and then insisting me to adopt her. All these were trivial matters to her. She said, I thought you were just angry for the time being so I gave you the time to cool off. You should not make impulsive decisions, let's fix this together and all that BS. Her point was that she did not cheat on me, neither emotionally nor physically. She did not talk to anyone or sleep with anyone while she was with me, fair enough, but hiding such grave information, isn't that cheating.

I said whatever be it, she can call it whatever she wants. I wanted a divorce. Even if I forgave her for the lies, how do I trust her that she would prioritize me over her daughter? Or at least prioritize it equally. She was reluctant to have children as well. I said I had fallen out of love after knowing the truth and even before that when she prioritized her niece slash daughter before our marriage, she didn't even let me come close to her, prior to the revelation. It was many months ago that we got intimate. She was either at work or tired because of the work. If this is not a red flag to call off the marriage, then nothing would ever be. She begged me that she loved me and would do everything to save the marriage.

I told her she could plead and beg how much she wanted, but it was all falling on deaf ears. She left the house after that. The next day her mother called me and cried. She said that her elder daughter is already divorced and she cannot bear to see her younger daughter following the same path. She asked me to give her one last chance to Harper. They stood on the grounds that Harper was loyal to me. I apologize to her that she had to plead with me, but I cannot do anything about her.

about it. After a month of two and fro, she finally signed the divorce papers. I cannot feel better than this. It was so suffocating, my goodness, I thought divorce would be difficult for me. But, thankfully, my marriage was not that long to have a long-lasting grief. Also over the last three to four months, I had grown out of love after she brought Simi into our house. It was a Blessing and a guy is that helped me get emotionally detached from Harper and now this divorce seems nothing, but liberating. One advice for me would be to run a background before falling for anyone. Doesn't matter how much you trust them or if you don't find them shady, run a background

even before getting serious because it's a downhill brother. I will be online for a while if someone needs to catch up. I cannot. Thank you guys enough for the support I got from this community. much grateful for it. Forward slash forward slash. That's the end of the first story. Let's begin the second one.

I hope you enjoy this story. My partner is distressed that her closest pal terminated their companionship due to our romantic relationship. The circumstance involves my partner meeting an acquaintance, let's name him Alex, approximately two years ago, and forming a strong bond. With him because he helped her get through a very powerful. painful and emotionally abusive two-year relationship that ended in a very messy breakup about a year ago. She helped him get through some really screwed up family drama that he was and is still having to deal with. She is one of his only friends, and his closest confidant, he is who she

considered her best friend. According to my GF, before I came into the picture there were close friends, nothing more, she was honest with me about the fact that he had professed his feelings for her and wanted to date, she tells me that she thought the prospect was interesting at first, but that she did not develop feelings for him and explained her feelings to him very clearly. Supposedly this turned into him thinking that she just wasn't ready yet for a relationship and he wanted her to promise that when she was ready. That he would be her first choice, I feel weird even typing that out, to which she tells me she again explained that it wasn't a matter of being ready, it was that she didn't have

feelings like that for him. This message must not have been conveyed very clearly, when GF and I first started dating, we talked about keeping things private at work for professionalism. I'm 100% not the type for PDA, especially at work, so this coworker did not find out about us until a mutual friend accidentally spilled the beans to him. His response was to text my G.F., while they were both working. So how is Op and then continue to get into an argument at work with her, resulting in both of them in tears, him saying, that he didn't want to be her friend anymore and that she was a terrible person for dating me. This is till the two-thirds weeks into dating. My GF was up front with me about all of this upon questioning. She told me that she texted him, saying that

he needs to chill out and respect that she's in a relationship. A few days later, I asked her about this whole situation. She does work with this guy on occasion so I was worried for her. She tells me that they made up and that he said it's okay. That you date up as long as you stay my friend, which made her happy, my reaction was to think it oddly phrased and slightly controlling, but this person was very important to her, so I mentioned the odd phrasing but expressed my support of her happiness and having this person as a friend. A few days later, I'm on an opposite shift as her so we plan to meet up for me to get a coffee and walk her to her car. She meets me by where I work and we walk to grab the coffee and then continue to

walk. Towards where she parked, we are talking by the stairwell close to the exit for her ramp, and all of a sudden she gets this panicked look on her face and pulls me into the stairwell, When I ask her what she's doing, she states that a co-worker of hers was walking toward us and she didn't want this person to spread rumors about us and immediately mentioned this coworker was a good friend of Tom's. Again, this felt odd. We were talking, not hugging or even holding hands. I go on to say that I'm not interested in feeling like I'm doing something wrong by walking my GF to her car and that I don't feel like changing my relationship with my GF to make someone outside of the relationship comfortable. Here she apologizes, states it's purely because this coworker. tends to spread rumors and she doesn't want to deal with that at work, adds that it has nothing to do with Tom. I'm troubled but feel better about the situation being that the relationship is so new and we. Both wanted to be private, although not secretive, a week or so passes, we are again on opposite shifts and we decide to do the whole coffee and walk to car thing. This time I walk up to where she works. I didn't know that Tom was working with her that day. As soon as he sees me,

he stares me and GF down and walks off in a hurry, visibly upset, my GF follows him. I stay up and chat with a few co-workers for a few minutes before my GF returns to me, as we start walking towards coffee I ask her. What that was all about, she tells me it was nothing, I tell her that I think he still has feelings for her, she gets upset about this, and says, I guess I'll cut him out of my life then, I express that I do not want that, but that I need her to set boundaries with him to respect our relationship, and that I trust her to be honest with me about it if he doesn't.

Upon later questioning it comes out that he wanted to talk to her about something that was going on in his family life that was. Unrelated to me, and was upset that he couldn't because my G.F. went to grab coffee with me instead, a few weeks after this, we are both working overnight shift, we decide to have me come up to her for a lunch break, till the 15 minutes, to talk and see each other for a little while, during this time. She gets up walks to the opposite side of the room to make, mention something to a coworker ends up behind a pillar in the room next to her co-workers texting

someone on her phone at 2 a.m. I walk up to her and she quickly exits out of her texts. She comes to sit back down next to me. I ask her if her mother is okay. She ends up awkwardly saying it was Tom and that she needed to ask him something about the schedule for that morning. I mention it's odd he is up at this hour being that it's 2 a.m. and he's on day shift. She replies that he was venting to her about another coworker. Fast forward to this past weekend, my GF and I have a few days off together for the New Year's holiday. Weekend, when I go to pick her up Saturday morning, her eyes are all red and puffy, the only time I've seen her eyes like that was when she was crying after having to put her dog down, I ask her if she's okay and if something happened. She states

it's nothing and that she fell asleep with a heating pad on her face because she had a headache, then proceeds to joke about not ever doing that again, I let it go. On New Year's Eve we are talking about something as she is scrolling through her recent. Calls, I see two missed calls from Tom and one call to Tom as she's scrolling down. That night I open up to her, say that I have this insecurity regarding Tom and that I'd like to start doing group things with him to both get to know him better and feel more comfortable about him. She then states that I don't need to worry about that anymore because they're not friends. I respond to this stating that they text a lot.

Sometimes during dates we get together working opposite shifts and is relatively. Private about what they talk about and that I saw his calls when she was scrolling through her call history. She then goes on to say that he called her Friday night asking if we were still dating, got very upset when my GF said that we were still dating, and told my GF that he could no longer be her friend while we were dating. At least that's all of the convo that she told me about. I didn't know what to feel. I feel awful that she basically lost her best friend of the past two years because of me. I feel upset that she felt the need to lie to me about it when I originally asked what was wrong, even still telling me that she didn't cry and that she left her heating pad on her

face, I feel bad because I have to ask her about all of this when something feels weird, instead of her coming to me about it first. She states that she was going to tell me about it when she felt ready to talk about it, I feel. Equally awful that I'm being too pushy or insecure or jealous or controlling. On New Year's Day, we were sitting on the couch together. She opens up about how much she misses Tom, I try my best to make her feel better, stating that maybe he needs some time and space to get over, his feelings for her and that he will reach out to her as a friend in the future, a friend that will respect her boundaries and respect her relationships. And I have thinkled my insecurities take me over. We end up. Getting into a fight about

the whole situation up until this point, she states that she wasn't ready to tell me about it, but that she wasn't going to lie to me when I directly brought up the calls. She states I'm focusing on how this whole situation affects me. She goes on to compare this situation with Tom to having a conversation with any one of her other friends. I feel like complete shit, like the biggest ass, I apologize. Say that I'm sorry for making the situation about me, when she just lost her best and closest friend, we part ways, it's been nothing but texting and brief visits since, mostly again due to opposite work schedules, our relationship got off to an odd start. I've been both emotionally and physically cheated on in the past and I am trying my best

to not bring those insecurities into this, which is why I'm reaching out to you, my close friends are biased towards me and have universally told me to end things. Two of which are co-workers of my GF and have mentioned some things that GF has omitted in her explanation of her relationship with Tom to me, things like how she treats Tom much differently than other co-workers which my GF states she treats him the same as everyone else, things like how people around work assumed they were dating, we've had other issues too, which isn't helping, all while only dating for this short of time. Physical intimacy issues, which for now seem to have resolved, we've.

gotten very close to breaking up once, mostly due to opposite schedules and are not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as far as spending time together. I'm hopelessly in love with this woman. She's a very compassionate and intelligent woman. She cares so much for other people. I often think she, is attracted to broken or hurting people, wanting so badly to fix them. She is a good person. But I feel as though I need more security and trust in my relationship, and I don't know if she understands how this has affected me, I feel too good. guilty to bring it up to her now because of how painful it is for her to essentially lose someone that was so important to her because she is in a relationship with me. At this point, I'm wondering if I should break things off, I love her, all while I'm trying to figure out if I can trust her, all while feeling like I'm being way too insecure, all while feeling like an asshole for even questioning her integrity, edit slash update, the outpouring. Of support and advice has been

truly touching, I have read each and every one of your comments many times over, I can to read them, I haven't talked to her about any of this since posting, the unfortunate situation is that we may very well just be incompatible for reasons in addition and unrelated to this. To be brief, she is a very independent person. Working opposite schedules takes its toll and that we don't get much time that we are both free to see each other. Yesterday we were supposed to spend time together and her mother got sick so she needed to take care of her. Of this I am certain she is not lying. Obviously family comes first here and she needed to be there for her mother. Today, her mother feels better, we were supposed to see each other and she says she needs to work on things for her second job. She works as a sort of instructor. Obviously I was upset by this because I really need to talk to her. This isn't anything new, I'd say around one. Third of our plans get changed because of something on her end popping up. She's not really interested in looking ahead in her calendar to try to make plans because it gives her anxiety to be looking at her schedule too much. I wish this was all that was going on but that's not even the end of things.

From the beginning of the relationship she was saying things along the lines of don't give up on me and that she was a hard person to love. That she is grumpy, she cancelled plans today after. Making plans to grab some breakfast tomorrow before I leave for a week-long trip, I expressed my hurt feelings about the cancellation and that I was really looking forward to seeing her today, if only for a few minutes and a hug, she lives literally five minutes away from me, her text to me, like right now. I feel like I did something wrong by asking for time to do what. I need and I feel like you expect me to be available the second you wake up, mind you the material she is working on is for. Things that don't need to be done potentially for up to six months,

no offer was made for me to stop by for a quick hug or vice versa. I apologize for making her feel as though I expect her to be available to me at the snap of my fingers. I tell her that if anything I would want her to look forward to seeing me and that I really don't want her to be spending time with me because she feels bad. I state that I wanted to check in with her because I love her and I care for her and I know she is going through something very emotionally painful, then she offered to stop by after she took her mother someplace. I guess at this point I feel deflated. I also get the strong impression it's a pity stop.

I told her that I need some space tonight to think about our relationship, but I would like to see her for breakfast still. I will update and let you know how that goes, so needless to say this is. Only the biggest thing wrong in a sea of issues that we can't seem to swim through, I love her, and I care greatly for her, I just don't think I can keep feeling this insecure about the relationship I have with a person I love so much. If we do break up, it's going to be really painful for me, because I've yet to fall so hard for someone. I'd like to say that this wouldn't have changed me for the worse, but I don't know, I am looking into therapy because this all brings out my own self-worth.

Issues to such a head that I'm almost in tears while I type this out, update, my 26M, GF, 26F, lost a close friend slash co-worker, 25M, because he can't be her friend while she's dating me. Today was a really difficult day for me. I met with my GF and we talked. She sees nothing wrong with how the situation was handled. Nothing wrong with the entire thing. She needs to love how she loves. And it's not what I need. I talk to her about what I think is the beginning to a spiral into depression. I feel like I've had this ticking time bomb I've been trying to diffuse my whole life, and right now it feels on the verge of exploding, I ended things, I didn't know how to go forward with this relationship, I think she's a good person, I care for her greatly, but I also feel as

though I'm not in a place right now where I can be with someone, I feel insecure, jealous, and worthless. I told her that I didn't feel as though I was in a place to be in a relationship, that I want her to be happy and that I don't expect her to wait for me, I told her that I care for her, but that I'm not in a position to be a good partner, I don't feel like I am at all, she doesn't deserve to be with someone whose heart races at every text she responds to, which she continued to do even during our conversation this morning, thinking it's another Tom, she told me, you're the bravest man I know. I will always hold you in such high regards, op, you don't need to be sorry or upset just proud of yourself for doing what's right for yourself. I believe in you and

all that you will be, she seemed so upset when I finally asked if we can be friends, it hurts so much to see her in pain like that. One of my biggest concerns is for her I'm so worried that Tom will swoop right back in and grieve her more, act her friend again, console her through this, just to keep continuing to, prevent her from finding happiness with someone she truly loves, but it's not my place to intervene, and right now, even if it was I don't feel as though I could, my heart is pretty beaten up over this, I know it's going to take me a long time to recover from this, right now I guess I just don't feel particularly lovable, If that makes sense, I guess sometimes two good people can care deeply for each other,

but it's just not right, the pieces just don't fit, the communication never clicks, and she becomes a memory. Thank you for your kind words and insight, I have a hard time. Thinking things through clearly and objectively with stuff like this, you have all helped me through this, I can't, thank you enough, update, I, 26M, just found out that my ex, 26F, of four months is dating her friend, 25M, I posted a while back, you can search my post history for the full story about issues my GF and I were having with one of her co-workers. Basically, she told me he wasn't getting the message that she wasn't interested and that he was threatening to end their friendship as long as she was dating me.

Well, I ended up breaking things off because I didn't feel as though I trusted her, and I was starting to feel like crap about myself during the relationship. A very close friend of mine still works with X's friend who I called Tom and I guessed Tom vented to her. my close friend slash his co-worker about his relationship issues, Tom. And my ex are now dating. My ex has stated to him that all we did was grab coffee a few times and hang out. This couldn't be further from the truth. Apparently while I was still dating her, they texted nonstop and she claimed that she wanted to get back together with him.

Mind you me and, now XGF had heart-to-heart convoes about the nature of their relationship only ever being friends. We both agreed to be exclusive. She was even talking about the future with me and such, I met all of her. Family and friends, we were much more than a few coffee dates. Oh, and hello sex, wow, just a lot to lie about. My ex is now given Tom a ring, not a proposal, just a promise ring, and he is thinking about moving in together.

He doesn't understand why I have him blocked on all social media and was trying to get out of my close friend slash his co-worker my side of the story as it wasn't adding up to him. Obviously my friend acted as though she knew nothing and came to me with this information. My question is this should I offer to grab breakfast and tell Tom the truth. I still have some things she wrote me that would undeniably prove that what I was saying was true. I'm a sentimental sucker. I kept some of her love letters. Or should I just let this all go? A part of me thinks this might just be part of the closure that I need. Another part of me wishes to see X get caught in her lies. What should I say to Tom? How should I say it? Should I not say anything? anything at all. While I know Tom wasn't completely innocent the first do feel pretty bad about how I viewed him through all of this, he is almost just as much of a victim of her lies as I was, except he doesn't really know it.