Reddit Stories - PARENT DESERTED me to pursue a career in mature ENTERTAINMENT after years of

Episode Date: November 8, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #family #career #entertainment #abandonmentSummary: PARENT DESERTED me to pursue a career in mature ENTERTAINMENT after years of neglecting our family. Feeling betrayed and abandoned, I struggle to come to terms with this unexpected turn of events and navigate the emotional aftermath of their decision.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, family, career, entertainment, abandonment, betrayal, neglect, emotional, aftermath, decision, struggle, unexpected, turn of events, mature entertainment, desertedBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Parent deserted me to pursue a career in mature entertainment after years of ignoring me during their non-exclusive partnership, now they've stopped working and want to resume their parental role, so they're following me around. Me with gifts and her family wants me to forgive her. To give some context, I, 27M, my dad, 67M, used to travel a lot to work and stay weeks away so he and my mother had an agreement where they had an open marriage, don't know the details, but she was the only one that slept with other people. This happened to most of my childhood

as I can remember her leaving at night to go to clubs and parties. Sometimes taking days to come back and neglecting me and my brother, I learned how to get groceries and cook when I was eight so me and my brother would not. Starve. When I was around 13, my parents started fighting since apparently she had broken the deal in some way, my dad found out about the neglect, she started going into the adult industry. They separated and for years I had no contact with my mother, I sent her texts and emails, some that even popped up as she had seen it, but she never replied so one day I just gave up trying to contact her. I managed to stay in contact with some people from her side of the family but a lot of them began hating on us, saying that we were

too harsh on her, that we never supported her, that she did well leaving us, and gradually I also cut contact with them as well. She started working in the adult industry and got pretty famous in my country, got a lot of money and I stopped using any NSFW websites as she was on the top pages of all of them. I gladly suffered zero to no bullying in high school because of it as there were no ways of connecting her to me and most of my friends that knew my mother didn't know it was her, she had dyed her hair, done a few surgeries and stuff. Well, I moved on with my life, joined the Army and I'm pretty well now, however, a year ago, out of nowhere she found me on social media and began to message me, asking how I was, commenting on how much I had

grown up and trying to do some small talk. I just replied with one words and even stopped replying once my nerve got the best of me. Apparently, she has retired, and after feeling an overwhelming remorse throughout her entire life decided to contact us again. My brother was also careful, but essentially accepted her back. He was always close to her. My father is cordial with her, but only that. She has also asked her entire part of the family for help as I began being bombarded with messages and calls from both those that criticized and supported me and my dad, I made it clear that I do not want anything with her, but they just keep on it, saying that she is remorseful, that she did a mistake but wants to make it right, that she has come

back for us, etc. More recently she somehow found out where I live and I've been receiving. receiving random gifts at my doorstep with messages that were clearly hers, things like a basket of chocolate that I liked when I was little, expensive clothes she got my size wrong on all of them LOL, flowers when my cat passed away, and even a very expensive hiking kit. I messaged her a few times to say that I don't want any of that, but she just pretends she doesn't know what I'm talking about or just says she thought of me at that moment. I made it clear time and time again that I don't want anything to do with her, but she still persists, saying that she can be my mom again now and stuff like that. I don't know what else to say so advises are more than welcome.

Comments where op has replied, comment one, you are under no obligation to allow her back into your life. Block her again, and her family, and dump all of the gifts she gives you. Stop entertaining her attention. If she still will not stop, I'd honestly recommend going a legal route. Get a cease and desist letters sent out to her and her family, and if that doesn't stop it, go to the police to get her harassment on file so it'll be easier to file a police report slash restraining order in the future. Oop, I have donated or sent back all of the gifts already, unfortunately, cease and desist letters are not a thing in my country, but I'm really thinking about filing a police

report for harassment just don't know if they will accept since she never did it personally. Comment two, it sounds like she's regretting what she's done and wants it back the way it was. But you shouldn't let this happen. We'll just happen over and over again, Oop, she has indeed voiced that she regrets what she has done and I don't think it would happen again, but she should know things would not get back the way it was, and honestly, if she thought it would she is even crazier

because things were really bad before. Update 1, first I would like to thank everyone that commented giving me some comfort, advice, or letting me unwind on their DMs. You all helped me a lot. I'm still trying to answer all of the comments and messages but with work and family craziness reaching new heights that might take some time but know that your words are very appreciated and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Well, to start the update, I decided to have the moral high ground and take a more polite approach. I know many of you wanted me to just send her to hell on a message or letter, but I thought this way would disarm much of her comebacks and maybe even make some of her family members shut up. I called her and asked her to meet me in a small cafe, no way I was meeting her in private, she got there and it looked like she had won the lottery, she had a smile from ear to ear and was almost jumping up and down, but her smile did fade when she saw my face. She sat down and tried to do some small talk, but I cut her off and began to rain on her parade.

With all of the calm and patience I could gather I told her that no matter what she does or says there would be no way for her to be my mom again. I started to explain that she was a complete stranger to me now, that I still had resentments, reminded her that I tried many times to stay in contact with her, but she refused, and even stated that I'm no longer a child, I'm almost 30 so I kind of don't need a mom anymore, had to hold myself not to say something like a few years too late, huh? I didn't even finish speaking when she burst into tears and began rambling about how sorry she was, that she was sorry for not seeing me grow up, sorry for ignoring me, that she would do anything

for a second chance. She even told me that if her old work bothers me she could have it all taken down and pay for therapy if I wanted, apparently she didn't know I'm in therapy ever since I was a teenager. I politely refused and since the conversation wasn't likely to progress I just left after asking her once more to not contact me again. A couple of hours later I was in the shower when my phone began exploding with calls and messages, she apparently once again told her family and once again they were cursing or trying to convince me. That showed me that some of the more radical comments on my last post were somewhat right and I decided to follow some of their advice.

I swapped my phone number, also got a much better phone plan, cleaned my social media of any family members from her side, and told my lawyer to go forward with the restraining order. Thanks to the last post I had it ready to go, thanks again everyone. She received the order a couple of days ago and immediately broke it by driving straight to my house to scream why I was doing that. I didn't come out and call the cops. Thankfully they saw the restraining order and took her to the station for questioning. I was afraid they would ignore it or something, but I'm glad I was wrong.

I'm now stuck here. Not sure with what I did was 100% right, but at least I'm having some semblance of peace this last few days. She's still trying to send gifts, but I'm going legal on that too. I'm honestly not sure if there will be any more updates after this, but if it happens I too post on my profile due to this subreddit rules, but once again, thanks everyone. Update 2, so I wasn't planning on posting any more updates but a lot of people have been messaging me and apparently, my post blew up and because of it even more people are PM, so I guess I too just write a quick one. My mother is now legally fighting me on the restraining order, I didn't even know that was a thing, and I'm trying to get more restraining orders

for the more crazy members of her family. My lawyer told me to be cautious because if I request 20 plus orders for all of her family I look like a madman and it will all be denied. She hasn't broken the restraining order again after the last time but the gifts continue to come and even intensified so I'm just donating all of them. Although my childhood was pretty bad I can say that the amount of chocolate she sent me is making a lot of kids really happy now, LOL. And I too say it again, I'm not revealing her name. Go find PRN elsewhere and stop messaging me.

It's not even for her sake but because I don't want to get doxed anyone that sends any message like that will be blocked. To end this, I don't know if I too post any more updates or how long they will be but if something happens I too definitely tell you guys. Once again, thanks to everyone that

helped me. Update 3 Hey there folks, yeah it has been a few years, life has been a complete roller coaster but with some people still sending DMs I figure I should at least try to make some updates. Now bear in mind it has been years so my memory might be spotty and all over the place, will try my best to make it chronological, but it might turn into a mess. Right where I left off, well my mom had been pushy to the limit, but at least with the restraining order she was keeping away, there were some incidents like when she showed up at

my dad's house during a family dinner only for my dad's new GF at the time, now wife, to open the door. She also showed up at my job asking for me, Army, and one of my friends who was on guard duty scared her off with a shotgun, love those guys and they are pretty much the only thing I miss about the Army. Well, life was not going that well, kept being passed for promotions, my requests for officer school were always denied and to top it all off my GF at the time cheated and dumped me, so yeah, not nice. Years went by and when I finally thought I would get an upstart in my promotion I got dismissed by the Army along with a lot of other folks. Suddenly with no job I had to go

back to living with my dad for some time while I tried to figure out what to do with my life. The restraining order against my mom also expired so she came back with renewed vigor which did not help the situation at all. There's a lot more so I should tackle it some other time. For now have a nice weekend folks. Next story, wife's family cyber bullied me for months before our wedding to test if I was worth joining their family and my wife knew about it but never told me because she didn't want to lose me. My 27M marriage is in a really bad spot after a deep breach of trust. I'd counter-recover or how to trust my wife, 30F, again. For some context, we've been together seven years and married five. We have a child, 2M. We met at a con. I thought her cosplay was

amazing, struck up a conversation, and the rest is history. She's the most loving, unselfish, and decent person I've ever met. Our relationship was never without its challenges. Our biggest obstacle was her family. My presence was unwelcome. They're very close-knit, and if one doesn't accept you, then you're not getting far. There are a few family members who broke away from the pack, but no one hardly acknowledges them. There are no contact and black sheep. I didn't know how my wife's family was, but I did know family was extremely important to her. Her whole upbringing was based on family. So I tried everything in my power to make it work. They didn't really put up with me until our son. Between our wedding planning to shortly

before the wedding, I was the target of some relentless and vicious cyberbullying. It got personal. Fake bad reviews polluted my business profile too. It caused it. It caused it. me some potential clients. I didn't know where it came from or why. I couldn't find a solution. I'd report, but it'd take a while for anything to be done, or there'd be more accounts coming out for another round. The whole thing impacted my life and my mental health. It took a toll. My wife was incredibly supportive. She was my rock and my best friend. I loved her even more for her care and how she held me down. Then the trolling and everything stopped.

I wanted nothing more than to move on. I put it all behind me until the other day my wife confessed that her family was behind the harassment. I didn't believe her at first, but she was serious and showed me proof in their family group chat. It felt like I was right back there again. They were gloating and justifying themselves. Saying stuff like some people got to learn the hard way and if he wants to join the fold, here's his initiation. I knew I wasn't their favorite person, but I never realized they hated me and would go to such extremes.

I asked my wife when did she find out and if she was a part of it. She swore she wasn't and that she'd never do that to me. She claimed she didn't initially know it was her family until a few months before our wedding. One of my SILs, 28F, left a profile up on her phone, and my wife saw it. She confronted her family and made them stop. I asked why she was telling me everything now. She said it was weighing on her, and she opened up to her eldest sister, 35F, one of the family's black sheep. She threatened to tell me the truth if my wife didn't.

Nothing my wife said made it better. She knew for years what her family did and hid it from me. She kept everything quiet. It hurts more coming from her because she knew firsthand my pain. I was pretty numb. My wife was anxious and kept pushing for me to say something. I told her there wasn't anything she could say right now that would make it okay. What she did was no better than her family.

They made my life hell, and her first instinct was to cover for them. She started crying and begged me to understand. She said it wasn't like that, and she was trying to make things right with as little damage as possible and mend relationships. I wasn't very receptive to her. She wasn't reaching me. I couldn't help her or myself. I told her I needed some time to clear my head. She was against it.

She said we could work through this together, but I was firm on space. Space isn't a request she's respected. I'm really trying to understand her side. I'm trying to move past it, but I feel so betrayed. I trusted her more than anyone. I'm my most vulnerable with her. I kept opening up to her about the incident even after she knew the truth. She encouraged me to let it go and not allow it to have any claim on me.

I thought she had my best interest in mind. Now I just see it as her attempt to protect her family yet again. I haven't confronted anyone involved. I don't think they're worth it. But I've made it clear they're no longer allowed to see our son until further notice. Now I'm getting texts about how I'm depriving my child of grandparents and aunts over past family spats. One of the hardest parts is the distance from my wife.

She's my best friend and partner in every way. Now we're mostly only communicating about our son and other household necessities. She's hurt by my rejection, and she's been crying often. I'd give I'm being unfair to her. I hate all of this. I want to make our marriage work, but I'm questioning our relationship up to now. I'm just really lost. I need an outside perspective.

How do I navigate this situation and move forward for my marriage and myself? Update, thank you to everyone who reached out. I wasn't able to reply to everyone, but it was appreciated. It solidified my wake-up call and helped me see I wasn't overthinking. I wanted to give an update. Earlier this week, my wife and I were able to regroup and hash stuff out. I was glad I took the space I did because even though this situation is still hurtful and feels like a massive betrayal, I was in a better position to talk.

My wife thought I was calling it quits, but I told her we were at a crossroads and needed to talk things out. She apologized for what her family did and her role in it. She said she never intended to hurt me. She had convinced herself she was protecting me for more pain. She realizes now she was largely protecting herself. She admitted she was afraid of telling me the truth because she thought it wouldn't just end the wedding but that I'd end the relationship. She lost other relationships and friendships over her family.

She didn't want to lose me too. Over the years, she wanted to tell me but kept talking herself out of it, and then the cover-up kept getting bigger, and she didn't know how to confess. I told her I didn't agree with her choices, and I wished she had more trust in me and our relationship. I meant it too I wouldn't have just ditched her She asked where do we go from here and promised no matter the outcome There wouldn't be any more secrets between us I told her I wanted to work on our marriage

But things needed to change We couldn't survive with her family looming And I didn't want our son exposed to them She asked what I needed of her I was never big on ultimatums And I don't really consider this as one But I was adamant that any path of us moving forward together would mean radical boundaries with her family. She was honest that the thought of making

this big of a move against her family was scary but said if it's between them and us slash our son, 2M, then she chooses us. Her agreement was major for me because I really didn't know where she'd land if she had to choose. I never wanted to put her in that position, but after everything her family did, I feel there was no other way. The reason I have hoped that my wife is being for real is because she sent a text to their group chat stating to stop blowing up my phone and that the no access to our son until further notice is a joint decision she fully supports. I didn't expect that of her. She did it on her own.

Of course, they didn't like it. Now she's labeled as disrespectful and ungrateful, and how the black sheep eldest sister, 35F, and I are poisoning her against them. It was also said, what kind of man takes a woman away from her family over a spouse? This isn't a spat, nor do I have anything to prove about manhood. They led a whole campaign designed to ruin my life. Their actions are chilling to me. These are the same people who looked me in the eye with a straight face while everything was going on. This is about protecting my family.

My wife has gone low contact. Her family has this mindset that significant others or friends come and go, and it's family who is the constant and where loyalty should be. They can't seem to compute that my wife, our son, and I are the core family. Their extended family, and they don't have a claim over our son. Being involved with him is a privilege, not a right. I'd quit their exact issue is with me. They only really tolerated me because of our son.

When I first met them, one of my wife's siblings, 28F, said they thought my wife was settling for me because of age and that she could do better. They're a very tight-knit group. and if one doesn't take to you, then you're not getting far with the rest. It felt like once their minds were made up, there was nothing I could do. I've long since stopped trying to make sense of any of their reasonings. It's a rabbit hole. Our plan is to move to a new area to create a healthier distance, cement boundaries, and have a fresh start.

I brought up therapy too. It's something we've been discussing. We'll be officially starting that soon. I think moving away will be beneficial for us. It's something my eldest sill had advised us on. During the wedding planning, she was encouraging my wife to move and create our own space away from their family's isolating circle. I know my wife is more than just her family. I've seen it firsthand.

She shined so bright when away from their influence. That's what I meant when I said she was the most loving, unselfish and decent person I've ever met. If I'm being honest, I cow things will turn out. I'm still hurt, I still feel betrayed, and my wife's facing her own challenges with low contact, but I want to be hopeful. I don't want to close the door. I'm hoping we can heal together. Thank you again to everyone for the support. I've found not everything is as isolating as with the majority of my in-laws.

It means more than you know. Comment where OPP has replied, Comment one, dude I wish you all the best. I hope your wife can keep the no slash low contact tube. Thank you. It's much appreciated. I'm really hoping this can be a turning point comment too. I was really relieved to hear that you were moving because this is going to be a very difficult boundary for her to maintain. Hopefully with therapy, time, and physical and emotional space though she can construct a fortress of a wall around your family. I really hope she doesn't let you down again.

Oop, it's my hope that the distance will give her some clarity and help us as a family comment three, I didn't actually realize how much I was still thinking about the post a week ago until I saw an update and felt relief. Best of luck in therapy, one thought I might add is that the instinct might be to do couples therapy but you might also find success in family systems therapy. Just know that if a therapist doesn't feel like they're helping the doesn't mean that therapy won't work, just that this therapist didn't work. Glad you both found the strength to work together and that she found the strength to distance

herself from toxic family. Boop, thank you for the recommendation and the support. I'll research family systems therapy comment for, your wife. What kind of wife betrays, puts down, belittles, and lies to her partner? She did nothing to protect you and only herself. I could never trust her again. If she'll allow that to happen to you, imagine the awfulness your child will experience. Oop, I don't condone my wife's actions and I'm not deluding myself that any of this will be easy.

I'm willing to give our marriage an honest try. Broken trust doesn't mean it can never be regained. We aren't the first couple in history going through a trust crisis I made a commitment. Marriage requires making a vow for better or for worse. i'm not saying that covers everything under the sun of course there are situations where a parting of ways is needed but not every case is the same i made vows to give my marriage an honest try in the bad times