Reddit Stories - PARTNER CONTINUOUSLY found REASONS to steer clear of my social circle over a

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #socialcircle #relationships #friendship #conflict #communicationSummary: PARTNER CONTINUOUSLY found REASONS to steer clear of my social circle over a period of time, causing strain on our relationship and friendships.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, partner, continuous, reasons, socialcircle, relationships, friendship, conflict, communication, strain, relationshipissues, boundaries, personalgrowth, decisionmaking, support, adviceBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Partner continuously found reasons to steer clear of my social circle over a span of several months, and I believed he was simply reserved until he eventually disclosed that my female companions had been particularly unwelcoming, harassing him the entire time. I, 24F, have been dating Nomad, 26M, for about eight months now. Things are going really well between us, we have great chemistry, similar interests, and he's incredibly thoughtful and caring when it's just the two of us. The problem is that he seems to have zero interest in getting to know my friend group.

I have a pretty close-knit group of friends that I've known since college. There's about six of us who regularly hang out together. We do things like game nights, going out to bars, beach days, birthday celebrations, that kind of stuff. I've been trying to integrate Nomad into this group since we started getting serious around month three, but he always has some excuse. Here are some examples of recent invitations and his responses. My friend's 25th birthday party at a rooftop bar. I'm feeling pretty tired from work this week, maybe next time, beach day,

I need to help my roommate move some furniture, a party, I already made plans to go to the gym the thing is. Some of these excuses seem legitimate on their own, but when you add them all up over five months, it starts to feel intentional. like he's actively avoiding spending time with them. When I bring up how important it is to me that he gets along with my friends, he says he wants to meet them properly but the timing just hasn't worked out.

My friends have definitely noticed. They've started making comments like, Oh, the mysterious boyfriend strikes again when he doesn't show up to things. A couple of them have asked me directly if he actually exists or if I'm making him up. It's getting embarrassing honestly. Last weekend we were at my friend's housewarming party, just a casual thing with maybe 15 people, and I really wanted nomad there because it was the perfect low-key opportunity for him to meet everyone without pressure. I asked him about it two weeks in advance. He said yes initially, but then the day

before he texted me saying he wasn't feeling well and thought he might be coming down with something. I was frustrated because this felt like the eighth or ninth time something like this had happened. I told him I was disappointed and that it was starting to feel like he was deliberately avoiding my friends. He got defensive and said he wasn't feeling well and couldn't help being sick. We had our first real argument about it. The next day I found out through his roommate's Instagram story that Nomad had gone out to dinner with his own friend group that same night. When I confronted him about it, he said he was feeling better by evening and that his friends

had already made reservations. He didn't understand why I was making such a friend. a big deal out of it. I'm starting to wonder if there's something deeper going on here. Maybe he doesn't think my friends are good enough for him. His own friend group seems pretty tight-knit too, and he's introduced me to them a few times. I've made an effort to be friendly and engaging when we hang out with his friends, even though some of them have pretty different interests from me. So it's not like he's antisocial in general. I just feel like integrating friend groups is a normal part of being in a serious relationship, and is resistant.

is making me question whether we're on the same page about where this is heading. Ida for being frustrated about this? Should I be giving him more time and space, or is this a legitimate concern about our compatibility? Comment 1 NTA 8 to 9 times of excuses over 5 months is definitely a pattern. The fact that he went out with his own friends the same night he claimed to be sick is pretty telling.

Either he's not that into your friend specifically, or he's not ready for that level. of relationship integration. Have you tried asking him directly what his hesitation is about? I'll reply, I have tried asking him directly a few times, but his answers are always pretty vague. He says things like I want to meet them properly when I can give them my full attention or I don't want to seem awkward in a big group setting. When I press him for more specifics, he kind of shuts down and says I'm overthinking it. The dinner thing really bothered me because it wasn't just that he felt better, it was that he chose to make plans with his friends instead of reaching out to see if he could still make it to the housewarming. Even if he was feeling 70% better, he could

have stopped by for an hour just to meet people. It felt like he prioritized his own social life over something that was important to me. I've been trying to figure out if there's something specific about my friends that might be putting him off. They're definitely more outgoing and louder than his friend group, which tends to be quieter and more into things like board games and hiking. My friends are more the type to do karaoke and play beer pong, so maybe he feels like he wouldn't fit in. But he's never actually given them a chance to see if that's true. Comment two, nobody is the a-hole. But I think you need to consider that some people just need more time to warm up to new social situations. Eight months isn't that long in a relationship,

and meeting someone's entire friend group can feel overwhelming. Maybe try starting with smaller interactions, like just having one or two friends over for dinner instead of throwing him into group events? Op reply, I appreciate this perspective and I have actually tried the smaller group approach. About two months ago, I invited just my closest friend over for dinner when Nomad was already planning to be at my place. I thought it would be a natural, low-pressure way for them to meet. But Nomad ended up leaving about an hour before she arrived, saying he remembered he had promised

to call his mom that evening. Then I tried inviting just two friends over for a movie night, thinking that would be more his speed since it's not a social interaction heavy. He agreed to it, but then the day of, he said his work project was running late and he needed to stay at the office. I've also suggested that he could invite one of his friends to hang out with me and one of my friends, like a double date type situation, thinking that might feel more balance for him. He said it was a good idea but then never followed up on actually planning it. I really have tried to be accommodating with different approaches and group sizes. At this point I'm starting to feel like I'm begging him to spend time with people who are important to me, which doesn't feel great.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect some effort from him after five months of trying different approaches. Comment three, what are your friends like? Are they the type to be welcoming to new people, or do they have inside jokes and tend to exclude outsiders? Some friend groups can be pretty intimidating even when they do. don't mean to be. Op reply, my friends are generally pretty welcoming. We've had other people join the group over the years when someone started dating a new person or made a new friend at work.

They definitely have inside jokes and stories from college, but they're usually good about explaining context or asking new people about themselves. That said, they are pretty high energy and can be a bit much if you're not used to that social style. They're the type to jump between conversation topics quickly, make a lot of pop culture references, and tease each other in a way that's affectionate but might come across as mean if you don't know them well. I could see how that might feel overwhelming to someone who's more reserved. But here's the thing, Nomad is actually pretty social and funny when it's just us or when we're with his friends. He's not shy or awkward in social situations in general. With his own friend group, he's often

the one telling stories and making jokes. so I don't think it's about social anxiety or being introverted. I've also asked my friends to make sure they're being inclusive when he does meet them. I've given them a heads up about his interests and sense of humor so they know what to talk to him about. They've all said they're excited to meet him and that they'll make sure he feels welcomed. I think part of what's frustrating me is that I've put effort into getting to know his friends and finding common ground with them, even when it wasn't completely natural for me. One of his friends is really into cryptocurrency and spent like 45 minutes explaining blockchain

to me at a dinner. It wasn't my favorite conversation, but I engaged because it was important to Nomad. I just wish he'd show the same willingness to step outside his comfort zone for me. Update, so Nomad finally came to one of my friend group events, and honestly I'm more confused than before. My friend Donna was having her birthday party at this trendy cocktail bar. It was going to be about 12 to 15 people, mix of our college friend group plus some of her co-workers. I really wanted nomad there because Donna's been one of the friends asking the most questions about him, and I thought a birthday celebration would be a good opportunity since the focus wouldn't be entirely on him integrating with the group. I asked him about it three weeks in advance and he actually said yes

without hesitation, which surprised me. He even offered to help me pick out a gift for Donna and suggested we could get dinner beforehand so he wouldn't be hungry and grumpy at the party. The dinner part went great. We went to a place near the bar and he seemed genuinely interested in hearing about Donna's personality and what she was like. He asked good questions about how we became friends and what kind of gifts she'd appreciate. I was feeling really optimistic that this was going to be the breakthrough moment. But then we got to the bar and everything just shifted. The first 15 minutes were fine.

I introduced him to Donna and a couple other friends who were already there. he wished Donna happy birthday and complimented her dress, normal social stuff. But then as more people arrived and the group got bigger and louder, he just kind of retreated. I first noticed it when I was talking to Donna's co-worker about wedding planning, she just got engaged. I looked over and Nomad was sitting at the edge of our table area, scrolling through his phone. I went over and asked if he was okay, and he said he was just checking some work emails real quick. but then 20 minutes later, he was still on his phone. And this wasn't like quick glances, he was actively scrolling through Instagram,

reading articles, even responding to text messages. When people tried to include him in conversations, he'd look up and give short responses before going back to his phone. The worst part was when Donna was opening her gifts. Everyone was gathered around watching her reactions and taking pictures, and Nomad was sitting about five feet away, completely absorbed in his phone. Donna definitely noticed because she kept glancing over at him with this confused expression. I was getting embarrassed, so I sat down next to him and quietly asked what was going on.

He said the bar was really loud and he was getting a headache, so he was just trying to distract himself. I suggested we could step outside for some air or maybe head home early if he wasn't feeling well. But he said no, he didn't want to ruin it. my night and he'd be fine. Except he wasn't fine. For the next hour and a half, he barely participated in any conversations. The breaking point was when Donna came over to specifically try to talk to him. She sat down next to him and started asking about his job, what part of the city he lives in, how he and I met, all the normal getting to know you questions. He answered

them, but he kept his phone in his hand the entire time and kept glancing down at it. After about minutes, Donna just gave up and went to talk to other people. We ended up leaving around 11 p.m., which was earlier than I usually stay at these things. Nomad seemed relieved to go, and on the walk to the car he said he thought the night went well and that my friends seemed nice. I was honestly shocked that he thought it went well, because from my perspective it was pretty uncomfortable. The next day, Donna texted me asking if Nomad was okay and if he actually wanted to be there. She said it seemed like he was really uncomfortable and that she felt awkward trying to talk to someone who was clearly not interested in engaging. Two other friends have

since asked me similar questions, basically wondering if Nomad actually likes them or if he was just there because I made him come. When I brought this up with Nomad, he got defensive again. He said he was trying his best and that social situations just stress him out sometimes. He said he thought he was being polite and didn't realize he was coming across. as disinterested. But then he also said that my friends are a lot and that the bar was really chaotic and overstimulating. I don't know what to think anymore. On one hand, I appreciate that he came and made an effort. On the other hand, the effort felt pretty minimal and it was honestly embarrassing to have my friends notice how checked out he was. I feel like I'm in this

weird position where I got what I asked for, him coming to an event, but it somehow made things worse instead of better. Is this a sign that he's really just not interested in getting to know my friends? Comment one, honestly, it sounds like he might have social anxiety but doesn't want to admit it. Being on your phone is a classic coping mechanism when you're feeling overwhelmed in social situations. Op reply, I've definitely considered social anxiety, and I've tried to be understanding about that possibility. But again, he doesn't act this way with his own friend group at all, as what I told in my previous post. At this point, I'm starting to think he just doesn't like my friends or doesn't think they're worth the effort. I just wish he'd either be honest about not clicking with my friends,

or actually try to find some common ground instead of just enduring the experience while scrolling through his phone. Comment too, I think you need to have a serious conversation about what's really going on here. His behavior at the party was honestly pretty rude, being on your phone when someone is specifically trying to talk to you is not okay, regardless of social anxiety or feeling overwhelmed. I'll reply, you're absolutely right that the phone thing was rude, especially when Donna was trying to have a direct conversation with him. What really bothers me is that he seemed to think the night went well.

Like, how can you think you made a good impression when you spent most of the evening on your phone? It makes me wonder if he's not aware of how his behavior comes across, or if he just doesn't care enough to monitor it. I tried to bring this up with him again, and I was more direct about how his phone use affected the evening. I explained that Donna specifically mentioned feeling like he wasn't interested in talking to her, and that other friends noticed he seemed checked out. His response was to say that he was listening even while looking at his phone, and that he's good at multitasking.

But that's not really the point? Even if he was absorbing the conversation while scrolling Instagram, it sends a clear message to the other person that whatever is on his phone is more important than talking to them. I feel like this is basic social etiquette stuff. He also said something that kind of rubbed me the wrong way, he said that my friends talk a lot and that he was giving them space to express themselves while he caught up on some messages. It felt like he was positioning himself as doing them a favor by not participating fully, which seems like a weird way to think about social interaction. I'm planning to have another conversation with him about this, but I want to figure out how to approach it without making him more defensive. I need to understand if this is about social comfort, if he genuinely doesn't like a lot of. my friends, or if there's something else going on that he's not telling me.

Update 2, after my last post about Nomad's behavior at Donna's birthday party, I decided to have a serious conversation with him about what was really going on. I was getting tired of the vague explanations and wanted to understand if this was about social anxiety, not liking my friends, or something else entirely. We sat down last Sunday evening and I told him I needed honest answers about his reluctance to spend time with my friend group. I said that his behavior at Donna's party had been embarrassing and that I needed to know if he was even willing to try to build relationships with people who were important to me. That's when he finally told me what's actually been happening.

According to Nomad, the reason he's been avoiding my friends isn't because he doesn't like them or because he's socially anxious. It's because several of them have been making him extremely uncomfortable with flirting, inappropriate comments, and unwanted physical contact when I'm not around. He said this started pretty early in our relationship, around the one-month mark, which would have been one of the first times he met some of them. Apparently, at that first game night at my apartment, when I went to the kitchen to get more drinks, two of my friends cornered him and started asking really personal questions about our sex life and whether he was satisfying me. He said he tried to deflect and change the subject, but they kept pushing and making comments

about his appearance. He also told me that at another event one of my friends kept putting her hands. on his arm and shoulder while talking to him, and when he tried to step back or create space, she would move closer. He said at one point she commented on how muscular his arms were and asked if he worked out, while literally squeezing his bicep. But the incident that really bothered him happened at a group dinner about two months ago. I had gotten up to use the bathroom, and apparently while I was gone, three of my friends started making comments about how lucky I was and asking him if he had any single friends who looked like him.

One of them allegedly said something like if, Op, ever screws this up, I call dibs and they all laughed. Nomad said he's tried to handle these situations by being polite but distant, hoping they would get the hint. But when that didn't work and the behavior continued, he started avoiding group events altogether. He said he didn't want to make a big deal out of it

or cause drama in my friend group, so he figured it was easier to just not put himself in those situations. The phone thing at Donna's party was apparently him trying to create a barrier between himself and the group because he was worried about someone making inappropriate comments or touching him while I was distracted. He said he felt like he couldn't fully engage because he was constantly on guard. I honestly didn't know what to say when he told me all this. I was shocked because none of my friends have ever acted inappropriately toward my previous

boyfriends, and I've never seen them behave this way toward anyone. I asked him why he didn't tell me sooner, and he said he was worried. worried I wouldn't believe him or that I'd think he was overreacting. He also said he was concerned about causing problems between me and my friends, especially since we've all been close for so long. When I asked for more specific details about who was doing what, he was hesitant to name names. He said he didn't want to turn this into a situation where I confronted individual people and created more drama. But after I pressed him, he admitted that the main culprits were Donna, Regina, and Jess, basically three of my closest friends in the group. I feel completely blindsided

by this. These are people I've known for six plus years, and I've never seen them act predatory or inappropriate toward anyone's boyfriend. But at the same time, Nomad has no reason to make this up, and it would explain so much about his behavior over the past few months. I'm also feeling guilty because I've been pressuring him to spend time with people who were making him uncomfortable, and I interpreted his avoidance as rudeness or disinterest rather than protection. But I'm also struggling with the fact that he never gave me the chance to address this situation. If my friends were behaving inappropriately, I would have wanted to know so I could shut it down immediately. By not telling me, he let this continue for months while I got more and more frustrated

with him. I don't know what to do next. Do I confront my friends about this? Do I just start limiting nomads' exposure to them? How do I even bring this up without it turning into a huge thing? Comment one, I'm sorry this is happening, but I'm glad Nomad finally felt comfortable telling you. Sexual harassment can happen to anyone, and men often don't report it because they worry they won't be believed. You should definitely confront your friends about this. Their behavior is completely unacceptable. Op reply, I think that's exactly what it is, even though I was hesitant to use that term at first. You're right that men don't always feel comfortable reporting this kind of behavior, and I can

understand why Nomad was worried about my reaction. I'm definitely planning to confront my friends about this, but I'm trying to figure out the best approach. Comment two, before you confront your friends, you might want to talk to Nomad about specific incidents and get more details. If you're going to have this conversation, you should be prepared with concrete examples rather than vague accusations. Op reply, you're absolutely right about needing specific details. I had another conversation with Nomad yesterday to get more concrete information about what happened and when.

Here's what he was able to tell me, the Game Night incident was about a few months ago. I had gone to the kitchen to make popcorn and get more beer, which probably took about 10 to 15 minutes because I also ended up taking a phone call from my mom. While I was gone, Donna and Regina apparently corned. him on the couch and started asking really personal questions. Donna allegedly asked if I was good in bed and whether Nomad had any complaints about our sex life. When he said he wasn't comfortable discussing that, Regina supposedly said something like, Oh, come on, we're all adults here and started asking if he preferred blondes or brunettes,

while gesturing to herself and Donna. The touching incident happened about six weeks ago. We were at that sports bar near my work, standing around one of the high tables. Nomad said Regina kept finding excuses to touch him, putting her hand on his arm when she was talking, touching his back when she walked past him, touched him near his dick and called it an accident that kind of thing. At one point she apparently commented on his shirt and ran her hand across his chest while saying this material feels really nice.

The dinner incident was at a restaurant we went to about eight weeks ago. I remember getting up to use the bathroom, and I was gone for maybe five minutes. According to Nomad, as soon as I left, Donna said, okay, girls, isn't, Op, the luckiest? And they started talking about his appearance. Regina allegedly said if things don't work out with, Op, I'm definitely interested in Donna said something like get in line, I saw him first. Nomad also told me about some smaller incidents, like Jess texting him directly to ask questions about his work, she got his number from me months ago for logistics about a group event,

and Jess making comments about his workouts when she sees his gym posts on Instagram. I'm planning to talk to them this weekend, probably individually rather than as a group. I want to see if their stories are consistent and give them a chance to explain themselves without the group dynamic influencing their responses. Update 3. I had the conversations with my friends this past weekend, and honestly I wish I could say I'm surprised by how they went, but I'm mostly just disappointed. I decided to talk to Donna, Regina, and Jess individually since Nomad had identified them as the main people involved. I wanted to see if their stories would be consistent and give each of them a chance to explain

themselves without group pressure. I started with Donna since she's usually the most straightforward of the three. I asked her if she could think of any reason why Nomad might be uncomfortable around our friend group. At first she said no and seemed genuinely confused by the question. But when I got more specific and asked about the Game Night incident where I went to make popcorn, her whole demeanor changed. She immediately got defensive and said, oh my God, did Nomad say something about that? When I confirmed that he had, she launched into this explanation about how they were just trying to get to know him better and that they were being friendly and welcoming.

She admitted to asking about our relationship but said it was just girl talk and that they asked those kinds of questions about everyone. When I pointed out that asking someone's boyfriend about their sex life isn't normal getting to know you conversation, she said I was being dramatic and that nomad was probably just uncomfortable because he's more reserved than the guys they usually hang out with. The conversation with Regina went similarly. She admitted to the touching but said she's just a touchy person and that nomad never told her to stop. When I explained that he shouldn't have to explicitly tell her not to touch him, she got annoyed and said I was making a big deal out of nothing. She also said that Nomad seemed fine with it at the time and that he was probably just telling me what I wanted to hear. Jess was the most honest, but also the most frustrating. She immediately admitted that they think Nomad is attractive and that they've made jokes about stealing him from me.

But she framed it as harmless fun between friends and said that all friend groups joke around like this. She said they never seriously intended to pursue him and that it was just playful teasing. When I asked her how she would feel if my boyfriend and his friends were making sexual comments about her and touching her without permission, she said that's different but couldn't explain why. All three of them kept emphasizing that they never meant any harm and that they thought their behavior was innocent. They said they were surprised that Nomad was uncomfortable because he never said anything at the

time. Donna actually said if he was really bothered by it, why didn't he speak up? The most frustrating part was that none of them seemed to understand why their behavior was inappropriate. They kept framing it as just joking around or being friendly and acted like Nomad was overreacting by feeling uncomfortable. Regina said something that really bothered me, I mean, you can't blame us for noticing that your boyfriend is hot. We're not blind. When I said that noticing someone is attractive is different from making sexual comments and unwanted physical contact, she rolled her eyes and said I was being overly sensitive.

Donna tried to turn it around on me by saying that I should be flattered that my friends think my boyfriend is attractive. She said most girls would be happy to know their friends approve of their choice in men. When I explained that approval and sexual harassment are completely different things, she said I was throwing around big words and that calling it harassment was excessive. By the end of these conversations, I was more upset than when I started. Not only had my friends been making Nomad uncomfortable for months, but they showed zero remorse when confronted about it. They were more concerned with defending their behavior than with understanding why it was wrong. None of them apologized to me or asked how they could make things right with Nomad.

The closest I got to an apology was just saying sorry if Nomad got the wrong idea, but we really weren't trying to cause problems. I told all three of them that their behavior was unacceptable and that it needed to stop immediately. I also said that No. wouldn't be coming to group events for the foreseeable future, and that I needed some time to think about how to move forward with our friendships. Donna said I was choosing a dick over friends and that she was hurt I would believe nomads' version of events over theirs. Regina said I was being ridiculous and that they've been my friends much longer than I've

been dating nomad. I'm honestly shocked by how they handled this. These are people I've been close with for years, and I never would have expected them to react this way when confronted about hurting someone I care about. I feel like I own Nomad a huge apology for not believing him sooner and for pressuring him to spend time with people who were making him uncomfortable. I also feel like I need to reevaluate these friendships because the way they handled this situation has shown me a side of them I don't like it all. Comment 1, I'm so sorry your friends reacted this way, but unfortunately it's pretty common

for people to double down when confronted about inappropriate behavior. The fact that they're more concerned with defending themselves than acknowledging the harm they cause tells you everything you need to know about their character. Op reply, you're right that their defensive reactions are pretty telling. What really bothers me is that they seemed more upset about being called out than about the fact that they had made someone uncomfortable for months. I keep thinking about Donna saying if he was really bothered by it, why didn't he speak up? As if it's nomads' responsibility to manage their inappropriate behavior.

The victim-blaming aspect of that comment really hit me. They put him in a position where he couldn't win. If he called them out directly, he'd be the dramatic boyfriend causing problems in my friend group. If he stayed quiet and tried to handle it by avoiding them, he was being antisocial and rude. Final update, this is going to be my final update on this situation. A lot has happened since my last post, and I think I have clarity now on how to move forward. After confronting Donna, Regina, and Jess about their behavior toward Nomad, I decided to talk to the other friends in our group, Tom, Lisa, and Maya, to get their perspectives on what they might have witnessed and to explain why Nomad wouldn't be attending group events anymore. Those conversations were really eye-opening. Tom immediately knew what I was talking about and said he had noticed Donna and Regina making inappropriate comments about Nomad but didn't feel like it was his place to intervene. He said he assumed I was aware of that. He said he assumed I was aware of it.

of it and was okay with it, which honestly made me feel terrible. He apologized for not saying anything and said he would have spoken up if he had known Nomad was uncomfortable. Lisa admitted that she had seen Regina touching Nomad in ways that seemed overly familiar, but she said she thought maybe they had developed a friendship and that's just how Jess interacts with people she's close to. When I explained that Nomad barely knew Jess and was uncomfortable with the physical contact, Lisa seemed genuinely shocked and said she had completely misread the situation. Maya said she had heard some of the sexual comments but thought they were just typical girl talk about finding someone attractive.

She said she didn't realize they were making the comments directly to Nomad or that it was happening consistently over months. What struck me about these conversations was that Tom, Lisa, and Maya all seemed genuinely concerned about nomads' comfort and apologetic about not recognizing the inappropriate behavior. They asked how they could make Nomad feel more welcome in the future and whether there was anything they could do to repair the situation. That response was so different from Donna, Regina, and Jess's complete lack of accountability that it really highlighted the difference in character and values. I also learned some additional information that made me even angrier about the whole

situation. Tom told me that at Donna's birthday party, the one where Nomad spent the whole time on his phone, Regina had made a comment about Nomad being antisocial and probably not that interesting anyway. apparently Donna agreed and said something like I don't know what, op, sees in him beyond the obvious. So while I was feeling embarrassed about Nomad's behavior at the party, Donna and Regina were using his discomfort as an opportunity to criticize him and question my judgment. That feels incredibly disloyal and cruel. I had one final conversation with Donna, Regina, and Jess as a group to tell them that I was ending our friendships. I explained that their behavior toward Nomad was unacceptable.

but more importantly, their response when confronted showed a complete lack of respect for me, my relationship, and basic human decency. They predictably got defensive and accused me of throwing away years of friendship over a misunderstanding. Donna said I was being controlled by nomad and that I would regret choosing him over them. Regina said that I was overreacting and that they had already apologized, which is not true, none of them ever actually apologized. Jess tried a different approach and said that they missed me and wanted to work things out. She suggested that we could all hang out without Nomad to get back to normal. When I explained that the problem wasn't Nomad's presence but their behavior and attitude,

she said I was being unnecessarily difficult. I told them that I couldn't maintain friendships with people who would sexually harass my boyfriend and then blame him for being uncomfortable. I also said that their attempts to manipulate me by claiming Nomad was controlling showed that they had no understanding of what they had done wrong. The conversation ended with Donna saying that I would come crawling back when Nomad and I broke up, which was pretty telling about how she views relationships and friendship. Since then, I've had much more positive experiences hanging out with Tom, Lisa, and Maya without the other three. Nomad has joined us for a couple of smaller

gatherings and seems much more comfortable and engaged. The difference in his demeanor is night and day, He's actually funny and social when he's not worried about being touched. I also had a long conversation with Nomad about the whole situation. I apologize for not believing him sooner and for pressuring him to spend time with people who were making him uncomfortable. I told him that I should have taken his concerns seriously from the beginning instead of dismissing his avoidance as antisocial behavior. Nomad was really understanding about the whole thing and said he appreciated that I had taken action

to address the situation. He also said he felt bad that I had lost friendships over this, but I explained that these weren't the kind of friendships worth maintaining anyway. Thanks to everyone who commented on my previous posts and helped me see this situation more clearly. Your support really meant a lot during a confusing and difficult time.