Reddit Stories - PARTNER DESIRES me to vend my APARTMENT because he prefers not to bring

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationshipadvice #housingmarket #couples #conflictresolution #personalfinance  Summary: A partner desires to sell their shared apartment, expressing a preference not to bring it into their future together. This situation raises questions about financial stability, relationship dynamics, and the implications of such a decision on their partnership. Open communication is essential to navigate this challenge effectively.  Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationshipadvice, housingmarket, couples, conflictresolution, personalfinance, decisionmaking, communication, financialplanning, lifestylechoices, partnership, emotionalwellbeing, homeownership, realestate, priorities, trustissuesBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6816713/support.This episode includes AI-generated content.

I hope you enjoy this story. Partner desires me to vend my apartment because he prefers not to bring up our child in a residence purchased with mature funds, yet he never objected to my acquisition. Past job until I got pregnant. For several years I was a stripper. I have no shame about what I did, and only quit when I got a better job offer. In the time I worked as a stripper, I intentionally lived as cheaply as possible, shitty little studio flat, living off ramen, wearing old clothes, because my co-workers all told me

that they were able to buy their own places on their income, so long as they saved like crazy. Before I retired, I managed to outright by myself a three-bedroom flat. I rented out the other rooms for a while but I got sick of having roommates, so now I have them up online for shorter stays, but not to rent. I met this guy about 18 months ago, and we've been together since. He knows about my employment history, and he said that he has no issue with it, though he did ask me to tell his family the white lie I occasionally use, on my CV and stuff, which is that I was a waitress, which I kind of was TBF. A month ago we found out that I'm two months pregnant. He says this is great news, and we should move in together. I assumed he'd be moving into my place because he rents

his, far smaller one-bedroom, flat while I own mine, and I have room for a baby's room while he doesn't. Also, I really don't want to leave my flat. It's my flat, I love it, I could see myself living here for the rest of my life, and I don't want to lose the security of owning a flat and have to go back to paying rent or a mortgage each month. However, he then said that he didn't want to move into my place, and said I should sell it and we buy a place together. I said that I like my place, it means a lot to me that I was able to buy it, and it represents years of working my arse off scrimping and saving. He then said that he understands all of that, but we should be living together by the time the baby comes and he didn't want to live in my flat. I asked him why not,

it's a great flat, it's central to everything, it's spacious, it's got room for all his stuff, there's a daycare in the building, run slash owned by another tenant, and a school five-minute walk away, the list goes on, and he said that he didn't want to live in a flat that was bought with stripper money. That really pissed me off, and I told him no fucking way am I selling my flat and that he never had an issue with my stripper money paying for this flat before now. I said I wasn't giving up the security of owning a home for someone who tries to make me feel ashamed about something I don't feel ashamed of. He said that his point is if I sold the flat, then we could get a new place with the money from the sale. I said, wouldn't that still be stripper money? And he said

that's different, and I asked how. He then said he was going back. back to his place because I can't talk to you when you're in this state. He's gone back to his flat now and he's texted me saying I'm overreacting slash irrational and I need to think of this realistically rather than emotionally. He says he wouldn't feel right raising a child in my flat knowing how I purchased it and selling slash moving is the best idea of all of us. Not to mention the fact he isn't on the deed because it's my place and it would never feel like our place because of this.

I feel I might be the arse because I get why he might feel like it's just my place and I feel I'm being too rigid in a time we need to work together. Plus I spoke to my sister and she sided with him so two out of three people think I'm in the wrong here. Ida. Edit. On the off chance anyone sees this. I dumped him. There was a whole conversation and during the conversation he said he didn't want to be a parent if I wasn't willing to do everything he wanted, including sharing a house slash deed, plus staying together. Also, at the start of the conversation I said what a few people suggested, which was that I'd be willing to sell and split the house with him, provided he paid 50% and he got very,

very angry, very, very quickly. He also said a few other things, so I'd decay how it's all going to pan out just yet, but it looks like I'm going to be a single mother. Update 1. In England. I recently found out I was pregnant. I am not on the pill and don't have the implant either, due to medical reasons, so our only protection was condoms. I am now two months pregnant with his child. I own my own flat and have a well-paying job, while he owns a failing startup and his agency shifts. We talked yesterday.

Someone suggested I recorded all interactions, as a few people had already guessed that he might have messed with our birth control, so I set my phone to record as he arrived. During the conversation, he initially said that if we weren't together as a couple, then he wouldn't want to be in this baby's life, and when I said we could work out split custody, he said that's bullshit. Later in the conversation, he said I thought a baby would fix things. I responded, it couldn't have fixed anything. If anything, it made things more strained with us as the baby wasn't planned and he snapped at me, of course it fucking was.

How do you think you got pregnant? Fucking magic? He then paused and he said, I mean that. It wasn't like. Stop making that face, I'm joking. I directly asked him, are you saying you messed up the condoms? And he, quietly but audibly, says yeah. I told him to get out of my flat and he said, look, have it, don't have it, I don't give a shit before he left.

I later texted him, saying just tell me why. He then called me, so I started recording on my MP3. Over the phone he admitted that he was hoping I'd sell my flat, by a new place with a mortgage, and we could give the business a boost. I hung up on him. Hours before the initial conversation, I spoke to a solicitor who deals with custody stuff regularly, so he said he'd help me with the custody stuff. However, he's married to my friend,

and I love her but she's a bit of a gossip and can be a little condescending, as in, oh, poor you, so I don't want either of them knowing about any of this if it's unusable. My ex was not aware that I was recording at any point in either recording, and there's no visuals,

only audio on both recordings. We did say each other's names a few times on the first, but not at all on the second. Is this admissible in a custody battle? Is it useful due to the context? I feel like he said all the things that would win my case if there was one, but if he can't do anything with it, then I don't want him knowing about it. If it is useful and admissible, then do I just send it to the friend's husband? Thanks in advance.

Update 2 A lot of people asked for one. First off, I dumped him. He initially said that he doesn't want to be a parent if we're not a couple, but earlier this week he told me he wants majority custody so not only does he not have to pay child support, but if he gets majority then I end up paying him. He actually said that was his reasoning. He also runs his own startup and admitted the startup is basically done four, and he was hoping

that when I sold my place I could also put a cash injection into his business with the money, so basically this was all about money for him, and I have extended to him. and I have extensive documentation of all of this. There's going to be a legal case, but I've gotten legal advice, and it looks like I'll be able to get sole custody, which is what I intend to go for. In the last couple weeks, my sister has doubled down and is trying to get me to fix things with my ex because a baby should have a complete family, so I've not been involving her in my pregnancy, which she is furious about.

She also told our parents, which I am furious about, so we're not speaking right now. I also want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my first post. When I first posted, between my boyfriend and my sister, I was genuinely convinced I was in the wrong, so to have such an overwhelmingly supportive response really helped me realize that I shouldn't doubt myself so much, and with that realization, plus everything going on right now, I've decided to go to therapy, which I will be starting next week. All in all, the outcome of this is probably going to be me being a single mother in the flat I own. and honestly pretty decent outcome update three it's twins i have no due date date and i'm panicking i wasn't sure if i should tag this as rant slash vent or help because i'm panicking and it shows but i also need advice

so i had a scan today and it's twins the tech said it was hard to tell but she thinks they're identical She also asked how far along I thought I was and I said the number I worked out was 14 weeks, but I wasn't 100% certain as this was my first proper checkup, aside from my GP who said they'd tell me at the scan, and the tech said both me and the babies were a little big for 14 weeks, and that we looked more like 16. She offered me an estimated due date which is just the first half of March, then said that with twins it can be harder to tell, and that didn't exactly ease my panic. though everything else looks good so that's amazing, but twins. There's two of them.

And there's one of me. And I think it's just really hitting me right now that I have never been a mom before and I have no clue what I'm doing and there's going to be not one but two tiny humans depending on me who are arriving sometime in March. When in March, it's a surprise. I have room for twins. I have resources for twins. I think I have the energy for twins.

But I am terrified. I have no clue what I'm doing. I have three bedrooms, so do I put them in separate rooms or together? My friend offered to stay with me for a little after the birth, and I said no, so am I going to need to take him up on that? Is there anything different about having twins that I should be aware of, aside from there being two of them? Also, what do I do about this window the tech gave me? Is that normal?

Are they going to be able to narrow it down at any point? I know I just got out a lot, but if anyone has any advice for me on the due date, or due window of time, or the whole twins situation it'd be really great. Update 4. I spent 18 months in a relationship that in retrospect was very controlling, and I fell out of contact with a lot of friends because of how my ex felt about them. My ex and I broke up, I was pregnant with twins when we split, and I began therapy. The therapist got me to reach out to friends I'd neglected. There were two in particular that I really missed and decided to reach out to first, Lily and Caleb. They were happy to hear from me, and were completely understanding of the situation with my ex. I reached out to them mid-October, and it's like we never stopped talking. I've been friends with Lily since we were kids, and I met Caleb at university, nearly a decade ago.

My ex didn't like Lily because she's bisexual, as a my, and he didn't like Caleb because he's a straight man. Since October I've been talking to both of them regularly. Christmas rolled around and we were all alone, so I said they were welcome to come over. Lily and Caleb had met before this, but they were more acquaintances than friends, and they became friends over Christmas dinner. They, and a couple other friends, pitched in and bought me a mixer plus a metric fuckton of baby stuff for Christmas. Lily and Caleb then began coming over more often.

They made a group chat so we could make plans together. They helped me put together the nursery, Lily drove me to one of my appointments, and when I mentioned in passing that I was craving ice cream Caleb showed up with four tubs the next day. These are just examples, but generally they went above and beyond the last few months. I went into labor three weeks ago, nearly a full month early. With preemie twins' things had been hectic, and I wasn't taking visitors for the first week, but a few days after coming home they told me in the group chat to open the front door, and when I did there was a bag containing ready meals and snacks,

plus a couple tubs of formula. When I began taking visitors, they would show up together, and one of them minds the kids while the other cleans. The only reason I'm able to write this right now is that they came over earlier, Caleb got both girls to go to sleep, and Lily left me a meal for tonight. I have a weird relationship with the concept of asking for help.

I had to be self-sufficient from a young age, so asking other people for help is uncomfortable for me. They know this, which is why they're not waiting for me to ask, so much as they are just showing up and helping. I've been thanking them profusely, but they always tell me not to thank them, saying that we're friends so this is completely reasonable, but I know they're doing a lot more than anyone else would in this situation. Which prompts the question, how do I adequately thank Lily and Caleb for everything they've

been doing the last few months? Where do I even begin? Update 5. I have three-month-old twin girls. I have been no contact with my parents for a decade, due to them being highly abusive and kicking me out as a teen. I am not letting them meet my kids because of this. My sister is three months pregnant.

She lives with our parents and says she intends to continue doing this as she doesn't want to raise a child, but they want a grandchild, so the idea is they would all live together and my parents would raise the child while my sister was only the mother on paper. I called my sister to work out a way to get the baby away from our parents. She said if I want to take the baby, she will allow a legal adoption, but that's the only other options she will consider. The bio father is not going to be involved, so he doesn't factor in here. I have the money to take in a third child, and with a bit of adjusting I could make the room. I can extend my maternity leave to a full year. It's meant to end soon, meaning that when the

newborn arrives I would have three months left of my leave to get settled. I am a single mother, but I have a strong network of friends to help and my job has been very good with me taking leave and my work entitles me to free child care. Would pursuing the adoption be a good idea? What would potentially having nine-month-old twins and a newborn at the same time look like? Would being so close in age affect the kids growing up? Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this, but it seemed like the most logical forum to go to. Update 6. I posted this elsewhere but someone directed me here so I hope this is I have three-month-old twins and my sister is three months pregnant. She wants me to adopt her child, meaning that when my twins are nine months old, I may be adopting her newborn,

giving me three under one. The three-month-old are doing well. We got off to a shaky start, but they're currently sleeping four to five hours straight, so I'm hoping they'll be sleeping through the night soon, and haven't had any serious issues despite being slightly premature, couple weeks. I've arranged child care for when I go back to work. I'm meant to go back soon, but I can either extend my maternity leave to a full year, meaning that I'll be off for six months, then the newborn comes, then I'll have another three months to adjust, or I can go back for five to six months and then take a second round of leave when the new baby comes. Which sounds best? I have a three-bedroom flat, and the plan was that as the girls got older,

they would get a bedroom each, but if I brought in a third child, what would be the setup? Could they share a room? How long four? Would I need to get a bigger place right away or could I hold off until I have a little more in the bank? I really want to take my sister's kid in, as it's the only way to keep them safe, but I don't know if having three babies on my hands at once is the best idea, particularly when I'm a single parent. Could anyone in a similar position give me a better idea of what three under one would look like. I think I'm doing pretty well with two, but a third child who is nine months younger than the others doesn't sound easy, to say the least. Any advice, or opinion, is appreciated. Thanks. Update 7, I'm adopting my sister's son. He was born eight days

ago, but he's over two months premature. Closer to three. The birth was meant to be natural but ended up a C-section due to complications, but the C-section was still routine with no issues. Doctor said it went as well as it could have overall. The doctor wanted to keep my son for a bit longer because he's just so early and they want to be positive it's safe before I take him home. However, because I can't begin the formal adoption for a few weeks still, and with the you-know-what-restricting visitors, this means I can't even visit him. I would post a pick here but I don't even have a picture to show I've only seen him once, immediately after the birth. My sister is allowed to see him as the birth mother, but she's only been once. I was meant to be able to take him home yesterday,

but they asked to keep him longer and run a few more tests. I'm either getting no information or incredibly limited info because despite being his mother and him coming to live with me once he's released, because it isn't on paper yet and I didn't birth him, they're not allowed to give me the same information that my sister is getting. I'm angry and frustrated and tired and anxious and while my partners are trying to calm me, it's not working. I just want him home safe. Update 8, July 29th, 2025. I lost the password to this account and didn't give an email, but I was scrolling while logged out earlier and there was one post that stoked such a rage in me I pulled out my old laptop which I haven't used in two years that had the password saved and got in solely to reply to that post, only for it to get

locked as soon as I logged in. Then I saw that I have over 60 notifications, including one from Reddit saying I have rewards expiring on December 31st, 2024 and need to use them before they expire. Oops. All the other messages are asking how I am, what I'm up to, how me and the kids are doing, all that sort of thing, so this is just a very quick post for anyone who is still here LMAO, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. Would not have been able to say that a couple years ago, but honestly I'm now, kids are fine. The girls are four and starting school in September and I'm just about holding it together because it feels like yesterday that the midwife was comparing the sizes of the fetuses to various fruit and veg.

Annoyingly, though, my son was born four days after the cutoff so he won't be starting school until next year, which he's really upset by as he wants to do what his sisters are doing. I think he'll prefer being a year behind in the long run, though, speaking as someone with several siblings who was always grateful for that extra space at school, love life, boyfriend is gone. Not the father but the guy I started seeing a bit after the kids were born, because he also turned out to be a scumbag. I took some time off dating, and have recently got back together with the two people I mentioned in a previous post, where I referred to them as Lily and Caleb.

We tried dating between the boyfriends, but broke it off initially because honestly I had a lot going on, my self-esteem was not great, and I felt like I was using them, and since I've had some time to just be single and focus on me, and the kids, of course, I realize that I really am in love with them, and it appears that was mutual. We're coming up on our first anniversary. Kids are aware and very happy, job. I've changed jobs once more since I last logged in. Been in the new job for about 18 months, going well, pays almost as well as stripping and its hybrid so plenty of time at home with the kids, baby daddy, not heard from him. New I wouldn't, to be fair. He's dodging child maintenance, but I don't need it so not worth panicking about.

Did try and put a legal case against him but it didn't go anywhere. Again, wasn't expecting it too, but both of these things are good to have on record in case he decides to be a problem again in future. I do know that he's gotten married recently, and I hope his wife has full command of their birth control, family, again not heard from them. I do get some news from screenshots my friends send me, as a couple of relatives occasionally hop on Facebook to moan about how I'm such an awful person for keeping the kids from them, but it's keeping them safe so I don't feel too bad about that, flat.

Given my rapidly growing family, I was thinking about selling. I even put it on the market and there was an estate agent bringing people by while I looked at houses. I felt awful about it because I love this flat, and it's always been a symbol for me that I can achieve things I never thought I could, and of the houses I saw, not many ticked all of my boxes, so when the flat next door went on the market shortly after mine, I took it as a sign. I spoke with the owner and our shared estate agent and we agreed that I would take my flat off the market, by theirs, and just converted into one massive flat, which solved every problem I had and didn't hurt my property value either. Did take a while to sort everything out,

but so happy I did it as my only issue with this flat was space, and that's sorted. Can't think of what else to add, except maybe that my hair is red now. IDK everything else is basically the same LMAO, but happy to answer any questions if anyone is out there to ask them. Assuming that most of the people who followed me when I made that first post five years ago are, like me, inactive, have forgotten their passwords, or have fully forgotten why they followed me in the first place, but if you do remember me then hi, thanks for all the well wishes and appropriately concerned messages, and I honestly just really appreciate the support. When I made this account I had no self-esteem, was really low all the time, and was stuck in a controlling relationship that I didn't

even realize was controlling. If it wasn't for the people here who told me to get out of there, I would probably still be in that relationship, without my beautiful family or my beautiful flat.