Reddit Stories - Partner insisted on having a NON-EXCLUSIVE ARRANGEMENT to explore other romantic CONNECTIONS. I

Episode Date: July 12, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #nonexclusive #partners #communication #boundariesSummary: Partner insisted on having a non-exclusive arrangement to explore other romantic connections. It caused tension and confusion in the relationship, leading to a need for clear communication and setting boundaries to navigate this new dynamic.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, nonexclusive, partners, communication, boundaries, romance, love, dating, emotions, trust, honesty, understanding, challenges, resolutions, growth, communicationiskeyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Partner insisted on having a non-exclusive arrangement to explore other romantic connections. I consented and pursued a relationship with their close companion. However, Partner is now spreading rumors that I engaged in infidelity. Okay, then. Need to get this down. I'm M, 31. The events I'm talking about started unfolding about a year ago, maybe a bit more. My girlfriend at the time, let's call her Sarah, was 29.

We'd been together for about four years. It was a serious relationship, or so I thought. Live together for two of those years. The other key person in this is Chloe, Sarah's best friend, also 29 at the time. Chloe and I were friendly, given her closeness to Sarah. I'd known her for pretty much as long as I'd known Sarah. She was always around, part of our shared social life. I learned later, much later, that Chloe had developed feelings for me early on, but she never

acted on them because of Sarah. She valued her friendship with Sarah, and I was with Sarah. So, things were just normal, group hangouts, occasional dinners, the usual stuff. Our relationship, Sarah's and mine, was what I considered stable. We had routines, shared friends. future plans loosely discussed like holidays and maybe buying a place in a few years. There weren't constant arguments. We had a comfortable life.

Financially, we were both doing okay. We split bills, shared chores, the typical cohabitation setup. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, or at least, nothing prepared me for what came next. About 18 months ago, Sarah started to change. It began subtly. She started talking more about personal freedom, about new experiences. She became very interested in a new gym she joined, a rather high-end place with a younger, trendier crowd.

She'd spend hours there, not just working out but also socializing, according to her. Her justifications were always about health and networking. She began to mention other men from the gym, casually at first, like, oh, this guy Mark is a personal trainer and he gave me some tips, or Ben from my spin class is hilarious. I didn't think much of it initially. People make friends. Then, the conversations shifted. She started questioning monogamy, forwarding articles about alternative relationship styles,

asking hypothetical questions about how I'd feel if she explored connections with other people. She phrased it as being about her personal growth and understanding her own desires better. She assured me it wasn't about me, or our relationship lacking anything, but about her own journey. I recall one evening she sat me down and laid it out more directly. She said she felt she was missing out on experiences, specifically sexual experiences with other men. She felt she'd settled down too young, even though we met when she was 25. She emphasized that she still loved me and wanted to be with me, but also wanted the freedom to explore physically with other.

She proposed an open relationship. Her rules were clear. She wanted to be able to sleep with other men. She said she would be safe, always, and that it wouldn't change her feelings for me. She suggested I could do the same if I wanted, but her focus was clearly on her own freedom. I remember her saying that this exploration would make her a more complete person and ultimately benefit our relationship by making her happier and less likely to wonder what if. I listened. I asked questions about boundaries, about how this would practically work. She had answers for everything, clearly having thought this through for some time,

or perhaps discussed it with her new gym friends. I told her I needed time to think. Internally, my first reaction was that this was the beginning of the end. But I didn't show that. I observed her over the next couple of weeks. She was already detaching, spending more time out, her phone guarded more closely. She brought up the open relationship topic again, more insistently.

This is where I made a decision. Instead of arguing or breaking up, which felt like the expected reactions, I decided to agree. I told her that if this was what she truly needed, then I would support it. I laid out one condition. Complete honesty about her encounters, not for jealousy, but for safety and transparency. as she herself had suggested. She was visibly relieved, even excited. She promised full transparency and thanked me for being so understanding.

So, it began. Sarah started going on dates. The gym guys featured prominently. There was a particular guy, a CrossFit instructor, who seemed to be her main focus for a while. She'd tell me when she was going out with him. She'd come home late, sometimes staying out all night. She wasn't particularly discreet about it around the apartment either.

New lingerie appeared. She'd take calls from these men where I could overhear snippets of their plans. She'd talk about her dates, sometimes in detail, framing it as being honest. She seemed to be enjoying herself, flaunting her new freedom. She'd parade around, getting ready for these dates, asking my opinion on her outfits, which was a strange experience. Chloe was around during some of this. She'd come over to see Sarah, and I could tell Chloe was uncomfortable with the new arrangement. Sarah would sometimes brag to Chloe about her adventures. Chloe would usually just listen, offering minimal

responses. On a couple of occasions when Sarah was out, and Chloe was over at our place waiting for her or just visiting, Chloe and I would talk. She never directly criticized Say, Sarah to me, but her expressions and the way she'd changed the subject hinted at her disapproval. She asked me a few times how I was really doing with it all. I kept my cards close, just saying I was processing it. It was during these brief conversations that I started to see Chloe in a different light, or perhaps, remember the kind of person she was. Steady, loyal, a stark contrast to Sarah's current behavior. This went on for about three months. Sarah was fully immersed in her new lifestyle.

She went on a weekend trip with one of the guys. She'd mentioned them by name, talk about what they did, where they went. It was all very open, as per her initial proposal. I continued to agree. I didn't date anyone else. I didn't act jealous. I just observed. I think Sarah took my calm demeanor as acceptance, perhaps even disinterest on my part to explore

an open relationship for myself. She seemed to like the arrangement where she had her freedom and I was the stable home base. During this time, my interactions with Chloe became a bit more frequent. Sometimes she'd text to see how I was, under the guise of checking in on a friend whose partner was behaving erratically. We met for coffee a couple of times, just to talk. It was during one of these conversations that she confessed she'd had feelings for me for years. She said it was painful to watch Sarah treat me this way, and to see our relationship, which she once admired, being dismantled by Sarah's actions. She wasn't making a move. It felt more like a confession from a friend who was worried and perhaps a little heartbroken by the whole situation, including her own unrequited feelings.

Her confession stayed with me. I realized the open relationship, as Sarah defined it, gave me an opening if I chose to take it. Sarah wanted to explore. She said I could too. So, I decided to. I started spending more intentional time with Chloe. We went for a long walk one Saturday. Sarah was away for the day with a gym guy, a planned outing she told me about. Chloe and I talked for hours about everything but Sarah initially. Then, inevitably, we talked about the situation. I told Chloe that Sarah's actions had to be. I told Chloe that Sarah's actions effectively ended our relationship in my eyes, and I was just going through the motions. I told her I was considering my options for the future. Chloe listened. She didn't push anything.

A week later, I invited Chloe over for dinner at my place. Sarah was out again, a late night this time, she'd informed me. Chloe and I cooked together, had wine, talked. There was an undeniable connection. It was easy, comfortable. At the end of the evening, the attraction was clear, and we acted on it. We slept together. It wasn't a spur of the moment, heat of passion thing. The next morning, Sarah came home. She'd said she'd be back late, but she ended up coming back early in the morning.

She walked in to find Chloe in the kitchen, making coffee. I was there too. Sarah stopped dead in her tracks. Her expression went from tired post-night out to complete shock, then confusion, then dawning realization. She asked Chloe what she was doing here. Chloe, to her credit, didn't flinch. She just said, I stayed the night.

Sarah looked at me. I didn't say anything, just looked back at her. The pieces visibly clicked into place in her mind. Sarah's reaction was immediate and intense. She started questioning Chloe, then me. She asked if we were sleeping together. I confirmed that we were. She turned to Chloe, accusing her of betrayal, of stabbing her in the back.

Chloe calmly replied that Sarah was the one who wanted an open relationship, and she had been seeing other men for months. Chloe pointed out that Sarah had actively encouraged me to do the same if I wished. Sarah then rounded on me. She said this wasn't what she meant by an open relationship. She said she thought I would have casual flings, not get involved with her best friend. She started yelling that this was different, that Chloe was her best friend. I reminded her that the terms were open and that she had been quite public about her own explorations.

I pointed out that she never said any conditions on who I could or couldn't see. She had been focused solely on her own freedom and her own partners. The argument escalated. Sarah started crying, then screaming. She called me names, called Chloe names. She said I had done this to hurt her. I stayed calm. I told her that her actions had consequences and that I had simply taken her at her word that our relationship was open. I told her that while she was out exploring, I had found a genuine connection with someone who seemed to value me. She tried to backtrack, saying we needed to close the relationship immediately. She said she didn't want to see other men anymore if it meant I would be with Chloe.

I told her it was too late for that. The trust, from my perspective, had been irrevocably broken by her initial push for the open relationship and her subsequent actions. Her sudden desire to close the relationship now that I had found someone else felt manipulative, not genuine. Chloe mostly stayed quiet during Sarah's meltdown with me, but when Sarah directly attacked her again, Chloe stood her ground. She told Sarah that she had been a terrible friend to her for a long time, not just in this instance, and that she, Chloe, had genuine feelings for me, something Sarah never seemed to consider or care about when she was pursuing her own desires. This went on for hours. Sarah alternated between rage, tears, and pleading. She tried to get Chloe to leave, but Chloe said she was there with me.

Sarah demanded I choose. I told her I already had. I stated that my relationship with Sarah was over, and I was now with Chloe. The sight of Sarah losing all control was something else. She started throwing things, she packed a small bag, screaming that she couldn't stay here, and then she stormed out. Chloe stayed with me. We didn't say much immediately.

afterwards. The next few days were tense. Sarah came back a day later, not to reconcile, but to pack her things. It was a drawn out, miserable process. She cried a lot. She tried to argue with me again, tried to appeal to Chloe again. Each time, I reiterated that my decision was made. Chloe was supportive of me, present but not engaging in further arguments with Sarah. Sarah made a few attempts to get me to talk alone, to work this out, but I declined. I told her all discussions should happen with Chloe present, as we were now a unit. This usually ended the conversation. It took her about a week to move all her stuff out. She had to arrange for movers for the larger furniture pieces that were hers. Each interaction was painful for her, I could see that.

She kept saying I had destroyed everything, that Chloe had destroyed their friendship. I maintained that her choices led us to this point. She'd ask how I could be so cold. I told her I had simply matched the energy she had put into our relationship over the past few months. Once she was gone, a strange sort of quiet descended on the apartment. Chloe and I started tentatively building something new. It wasn't an immediate fairy tale. But Chloe was, and is, a genuinely good person.

She had been open about her feelings, and I found myself reciprocating them more strongly than I initially anticipated. We decided she would move in officially after a couple of months, to give things space to settle, but she was there most of the time anyway. It's been about six months since Sarah moved out. Chloe and I are together, living in my apartment. Our relationship is good. It's calm, respectful, and we're building a solid foundation. We're happy. The issue, or rather the reason I'm writing this, is that Sarah hasn't quite disappeared. She doesn't contact me directly anymore, not after a few initial attempts at angry

texts and voicemails which I ignored and then blocked. But we have mutual acquaintances, a few remaining shared connections from our old life. Through these channels, I hear things. She's apparently telling everyone that I was emotionally unavailable and that I cheated on her with her best friend, conveniently omitting the whole open relationship she pushed for part, or spinning it to make herself the victim. She paints Chloe as a predatory homewrecker. Some of these mutual friends have cooled towards me. Others have openly questioned me, based on Sarah's version of events. I've given a brief, factual account to those I care about, but I don't want to get into a public mudslinging match. It's just frustrating to know this narrative is out there.

Chloe gets upset when she hears about it too, though she tries not to show it. She's lost most of her old friend group because many sided with Sarah or couldn't handle the drama. It doesn't impact my daily life with Chloe in a huge way. Our core circle of friends, my family, they all know the truth and are supportive of us. But there's this lingering annoyance. So, I guess I'm just venting. Writing what actually happened, at least from my first. myself and maybe for anyone who's been in a similar boat. Am I wrong for how this played out?

I don't think so. She initiated the game, I just played it to its conclusion with someone who actually valued me. But it's a mess to untangle with other people. Should I even bother trying to correct the narrative with those peripheral acquaintances, or just let them believe what they want and focus on my life with Chloe? It's more a rhetorical question, I suppose. I'm not looking at losing sleep over it, but it's a persistent low-level irritation. Update 1, about three weeks after original post, thanks to everyone who read my original post and for the comments and private messages. I appreciate the various perspectives.

A few people asked for clarifications on some points, so I'll address those first. Some wondered why I agreed to the open relationship in the first place if I wasn't genuinely okay with it, instead of just ending things with Sarah then and there. The truth is, her proposal, while initially a shock, also presented a strange sort of opportunity. I think a part of me knew the relationship was already over the moment she asked for it. Her desire to be with other men wasn't something I could reconcile with a long-term future together. But her pushing for it, her insistence, and her somewhat selfish framing of it all, it made me decide against a simple breakup. up. I wanted to see how committed she was to this idea of exploration and whether she had

considered all the implications, including for me. So, I didn't fight it. I let her lead the way, and in doing so, she showed her hand completely. It was less about pretending and more about observing and letting her actions speak for themselves. A recurring question was about Chloe and her intentions. Specifically, whether her confession of feelings was a calculated move. From my perspective, and from everything Chloe has told me and shown me, her feelings for me were genuine and long-standing, something she had suppressed for years because of her friendship with Sarah and because I was with Sarah. Her telling me about them came at a point when Sarah had been actively involved with other men for months. I don't believe Chloe saw it as a move as much as an honest admission in a situation that was already highly irregular. She never pushed me or pressured me.

The connection we made was mutual and grew out of shared conversations and a sense that we were both somewhat adrift due to Sarah's choices. People also asked about how obvious Sarah was with her other partners. She was not discreet. She'd talk about her dates, leave her phone around with messages from these guys visible. There were new clothes, late nights, weekends away. She told me she was being honest and transparent as we'd agreed, but it often felt more like she, was rubbing my nose in her new freedom. She seemed to expect me to be a compliant, stable fixture at home while she had her fun.

There was no real concern for how I might be feeling beyond my initial agreement. The moment Sarah found out about me and Chloe, a few asked for more detail on that confrontation. When Sarah walked in, Chloe was making coffee. I was sitting at the kitchen table. Sarah's first words were to Chloe, something like, What are you doing here? so early. Chloe just looked at her and said, I stayed over. Sarah's eyes darted between us. She asked me, what does she mean? I just confirmed, Chloe spent the night with me. The change in Sarah was instant. The casual, slightly tired look vanished. Her face went pale, then red.

She started firing questions, her voice rising with each one. She demanded to know how long this had been going on. Chloe tried to explain calmly that it was a recent development, and that Sarah herself had opened this door. Sarah wasn't hearing it. She accused Chloe of plotting this, of wanting me all along. Chloe admitted she'd had feelings for me but reiterated that nothing happened until Sarah effectively dissolved the basis of our monogamous relationship. Sarah then turned her full anger on me, as I described in the op. My thinking was, Sarah Sarah set the new rules. She wanted freedom to explore and implicitly granted me the same. Her shock and anger when I did so, especially with Chloe, showed that her idea of an open

relationship was quite one-sided. Freedom for her, continued loyalty and stability for me. She didn't anticipate I would find someone meaningful, and certainly not her best friend. My actions were a direct consequence of the environment Sarah created. I chose to be build something new with Chloe rather than try to salvage something with Sarah that she herself had devalued. The fact that Chloe was Sarah's best friend was a complication, certainly, but Sarah's actions had already deeply damaged that friendship from Chloe's perspective, long before I was involved with Chloe. Since my original post, a few things have progressed. Chloe and I have had more conversations about everything that transpired. We are very clear with each other.

She has been incredibly supportive, especially with the social fallout from Sarah's narrative. The main action I've taken regarding the current situation I mentioned, Sarah's attempts to paint herself as the victim, has been to be very direct with a few mutual acquaintances who reached out to me or Chloe. I haven't engaged in public arguments or social media battles. But if someone asks, I tell them calmly and factually. Sarah wanted an open relationship to see other men, she did so. so for months, I eventually did the same, and she didn't like it. I state that I am now happy with Chloe. I don't elaborate much beyond that unless pressed for specifics, which I then provide.

Chloe has also taken steps to distance herself from former friends who have been accusatory or unsupportive without hearing her side. She's focused on our relationship and the friends who have stood by us. Sarah, from what I hear indirectly, is still very angry and bitter. She continues to try and garner sympathy. She apparently tried to confront Chloe again at a place they used to frequent, but Chloe handled it calmly and disengaged quickly, telling Sarah she had nothing further to say to her. This happened about a week ago.

Sarah apparently made a bit of a scene, which only embarrassed herself further in front of people who saw it. Chloe and I are solidifying our plans. We've started looking for a new place to live together. Update 2, it's now been just over a year since Sarah moved out, and about seven months since my original post here. A lot has settled, and a lot has moved forward. Life with Chloe is good. Very good, actually.

The initial turbulence has long since passed, and what's left is a strong, healthy, and genuinely happy relationship. We did find a new place, a nice apartment in a different part of town. We moved in about four months ago. Having a space that is entirely ours, with no prior history attached to it, has been fantastic. It really feels like a fresh start. Chloe has made it a home. We've spent time decorating it, hosting small dinners for our close friends, the ones who stuck by us, and some new ones we've made. The narrative Sarah was trying to spin seems to have largely faded, or at least its impact has diminished significantly.

people have moved on. Those who believed her probably still do, but they are no longer part of our lives, so it doesn't matter. My family adores Chloe, and her small family, her parents and a sister, have welcomed me. There have been no further attempts at direct contact from Sarah towards me or Chloe. I think she finally understood that door is permanently closed. Thanks again to this subreddit for being a place to lay things out when I needed to. Thank you.