Reddit Stories - Partner RELOCATED to my RESIDENCE, then MENTIONED it's merely a creature and occasion

Episode Date: July 7, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #moving #creature #communication #confusionSummary: My partner relocated to my residence, then mentioned it's merely a creature and occasion. Confusion ensued as we navigated this unexpected revelation and its implications on our relationship and living situation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, moving, creature, communication, confusion, revelation, implications, living situation, unexpected, partner, residence, occasion, relocation, navigatingBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Partner relocated to my residence, then mentioned it's merely a creature and occasion to acquire a feline following the passing of our cherished domestic canine due to illness as my offspring listened in. So I, 41M, have a daughter, 13F, who means absolutely everything to me. Her mother passed away during childbirth complications, and it's just been me and my daughter ever since. For anyone who's lost a spouse unexpectedly, you probably understand how damn hard it is to pick up the pieces when your whole world shatters I've tried getting back into

dating over the years, but it's been one disaster after another. Either the woman doesn't like kids, or my daughter doesn't like her, or there's just no spark. A couple times I thought things were going well, then boom, they see what single parenthood actually involves and head for the hills. Dating as a single parent is exhausting, and sometimes I wondered if it was even worth trying anymore. Some background that's important to understand the whole situation here. A year before my daughter, let's call her Stephanie, was born, my wife, Joy, bought me a border collie puppy as an anniversary gift. I named him flip because he could literally flip in the air when he got excited about dinner time or walks. Not one of those fancy plan jumps that show done

dogs do, more like an uncoordinated somersault of pure happiness. It was the goofiest thing and always made us laugh. After joy passed, it was honestly Flip who kept me from completely falling apart during those first couple years. He was more than just a pet, he was my best friend and constant companion during the darkest period of my life. When I was up all night with a crying baby, Flip was right there beside me, never leaving my side. When I'd break down in tears, missing joy, Flip would come lay his head on my lap. He somehow always knew when I needed him most. I remember this one night, maybe three months after my joy died, I was sitting on the kitchen floor at like 2 a.m. just sobbing uncontrollably. Stephanie had finally fallen asleep after hours

of colic crying, and something in me just broke. Flip came over, pushed himself against my chest, and just stayed there while I cried into his fur for what felt like hours. I'm convinced that dog understood grief in a way most humans can't. As Stephanie grew up, she and Flip developed this amazing bond. He was like her guardian, always watching over her. He would sleep at the foot of her bed every night without fail. When she was learning to walk, he'd position himself to catch her if she fell. Anytime she was upset, Flip somehow knew and would go to her.

Every family vacation, every weekend trip, every visit to my person, parents' place, Stephanie insisted on bringing Flip, and of course I was more than okay with that. We were a package deal, me, Steph, and Flip. This one time Stephanie got lost at a crowded park when she was about five or six. I turned around and she was gone. I was absolutely terrified, running around calling her name, asking strangers if they'd seen a little girl. After the longest ten minutes of my life, here comes Flip, leading Stephanie by the head. hem of her shirt, gently guiding her back to me. He'd found her by himself and brought her back. That's the kind of dog he was, not just a pet, but a protector and family member in every sense.

Anyway, fast forward to about a year ago. I finally thought I'd struck gold in the dating department. I met this woman, Donna, 39F, threw a colleague at work. We hit it off right away, she seemed to check all the boxes. She was warm, kind, intelligent, had a good job as a project manager, and most importantly, she took to Stephanie like a champ. At first Donna mentioned she wasn't really a dog person but had grown up with cats. Not a deal breaker or anything. But I did tell her that Flip was non-negotiable, he came with the package. She said she understood and over time, even Flip seemed to win her over.

She'd pet him occasionally, let him sit near her on the couch sometimes, and even took him for a walk once when I was busy with Stephanie's school project. Or at least that's what I thought, that she was warming up to him. For the first time in years, I started thinking long-term with someone. Donna and I had been dating for about ten months when we started talking about moving in together. Stephanie seemed cautiously okay with it, not thrilled exactly, but not opposed either. She and Donna had developed a decent relationship. Not mother-daughter by any means, but friendly and respectful.

Donna would help her with homework sometimes and they'd occasionally have girls' nights watching movies that I had zero interest in. So Donna moved into my house about a month ago. The first week or so was an adjustment period for everyone. Stephanie was a bit more withdrawn than usual, but I figured that was normal. Flip seemed confused about the new person living with us full time but adjusted okay. And I was finally feeling like maybe we could be a real family unit again. I don't like using that term because me and Steph are already a complete family, but you know what I mean. There were a few minor issues.

Donna complained about dog hair on the furniture and wasn't thrilled about Flip sleeping in Stephanie's room. She suggested maybe he could sleep in the laundry room instead, but I shut out. that down immediately. Flip had slept either in my room or Stephanie's for his entire life, and I wasn't about to change that now. Donna dropped it, and I thought we were all adapting pretty well to our new living arrangement. So here's where everything went sideways. About two weeks after Donna moved in, Flip started acting really strange. He wasn't eating much, seemed lethargic, and just wasn't himself. At first I thought maybe he was just still adjusting to having Donna around full-time, but when he wouldn't even get excited for his favorite treats,

I knew something was wrong. I took him to the vet and got the worst news possible, advanced cancer that had spread to multiple organs. The vet said it was probably lymphoma and that it had likely been developing for months with no obvious symptoms until now. She said he was suffering and the kindest thing would be to put him down. I'm not ashamed to say I completely broke down right there in the office. I asked the vet if we could wait until my daughter could come say goodbye. She was understanding and said she'd give us some time. I called Stephanie's school, it's just down the road from the vet clinic, and explained the situation. They pulled her from class and I picked her up 20 minutes later. The car ride back to the vet was brutal. Stephanie kept asking if there was anything else

we could do, any treatment that might help. I had to explain that the cancer was too advanced, that Flip was in pain, and that the kindest thing we could do was let him go peacefully. She cried the whole way there. When we got back to the clinic, we both sat on the floor with Flip for a long time, just petting him and telling him what a good boy he was. The vet was incredibly patient and gentle. She explained everything she was going to do and gave us all the time we needed to say goodbye. We both held Flip as he went peacefully, telling him how much we loved him. I'm not exaggerating when I say I cried almost the entire day after that. Stephanie too. She's absolutely devastated. Flip has been there her entire life, she doesn't know a

world without a minute. That night, she asked if she could sleep in my room because she couldn't face being in her bedroom without Flip at the foot of her bed. Of course I said yes. When Donna got home that evening, I was sitting on the couch just staring at Flip's empty dog bed in the corner of the living room. His collar was in my hands, and I was just turning it over and over, looking at the tags. I told her what happened, barely holding it together, and you know what she said. Oh well, time to get a cat now so we can both enjoy a pet. I honestly thought I'd misheard her. I asked her to repeat herself, and she did, adding that she never really liked Flip anyway and this was for the best. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I told her my

best friend died and she's being so damn dismissive about it. She actually rolled her eyes and replied that it's just an animal, no biggie, and that I was overreacting. My heart just shattered all over again. She went on to say something about how now we could get pet hair-free furniture and wouldn't have to worry about walking a dog multiple times a day. She mentioned that cats are more independent and cleaner, and suggested we look at the animal shelter over the weekend. To make matters worse, Stephanie overheard the whole exchange from the hallway. She ran to my room crying and slammed the door. I went after her and tried to comfort her, but she was inconsolable. She kept saying how could she say that about Flip? And I hate her, Dad. I just held her. I just held

her while she cried, not knowing what to say because I was honestly thinking the same things. When I came back downstairs about an hour later, Donna was sitting on the couch watching some reality TV show like nothing had happened. I told her that what she said was completely insensitive and hurtful, not just to me but also to Stephanie. She just shrugged and said she didn't understand making such a fuss over a dog. Then she had the nerve to say that maybe this was a good opportunity for Stephanie to learn about death and toughen up a bit. I was so angry I had to walk away before I said something I'd regret. I went to the kitchen and just stood there gripping the counter, trying to calm down. After a few minutes, I went back to the living room and told

Donna that if she couldn't show some basic empathy for what we were going through, then maybe moving in together had been a mistake. She got defensive and said I was being ridiculous and overly emotional. She said something about how she'd given up her apartment to move in with us and couldn't believe I was choosing a dead dog over her. At that point, I was done with the conversation. I told her I needed some space and would be sleeping in Stephanie's room with her that night. The next day wasn't any better. Donna acted like nothing had happened and seemed annoyed that Stephanie and I were still upset. She made some comment about how normal people move on quickly from pet deaths. That night, I made up the guest room and told Donna she would be sleeping there

for a while. She got mad and said I was being childish. Now she's not speaking to me at all unless it's absolutely necessary. Stephanie is refusing to even acknowledge Donna's existence. Won't talk to her, won't look at her, leaves the room when Donna enters. I can't blame her, honestly. The few times Donna has tried to talk to her, Stephanie, just puts in her earbuds or walks away. Yesterday morning, Donna tried to make peace by offering to take Stephanie shopping for new clothes. Stephanie looked right through her and walked out the front door to wait for her school bus. I've been thinking seriously about breaking up with Donna and asking her to move out.

She clearly can't see how much flip meant to us. It's not just about a dog dying, it's about her complete inability to empathize with our grief or recognize that our emotions are valid. Flip was a dog, yes, but more importantly he was family. She just can't seem to grasp that concept. I thought she was this amazing, caring person, but now I'm seeing this whole other side to her that's cold and dismissive. I'm questioning everything about our relationship now.

Right now I'm just heartbroken and exhausted. I want to sleep for a whole week, but I need to be strong for Stephanie. Then there's the whole issue of Donna living with us now, which complicates everything. She signed a one-year lease with me, gave up her apartment, and moved all her stuff in. Logistically, breaking up would be a nightmare, but I don't know if I can get past this. Sorry for the long post. I guess I'm wondering if I'm overreacting here. Am I the asshole for expecting empathy from someone who isn't a dog person?

Update 1. Hey everyone. I'm honestly more than stunned by how this thing took off. Thanks to all the well-wishers and those who messaged with words of support. It means a lot during this difficult time. For those crying fake, I hear you and understand. A lot on Reddit seems to be BS these days. Thanks to all who thought to reply for both the positive and negative inputs. After posting this, I went to work for my overnight shift, I work in security management.

Not that it particularly matters but someone asked in the comments. I was dreading going in because I knew I'd be distracted, but sometimes routine helps, you know. My partner Tanya, who I've worked with for four years, had somehow heard about Flipp from another co-worker and had a present for me. A small chocolate cake shaped like a dog bone with Flipp's name on it. I just about lost it right there in the break room. Tanya has always been the best coworker and friend. Her husband is a good friend, too.

We talked for a while during our break and I showed her this post. She's not a fan of Reddit at all, but she understood that I needed to vent somewhere. She's one of those people who always gives it to you straight, and she told me I wasn't crazy for being upset about Donna's reaction. Nothing much happened during my shift. I mean, I caught some teenager trying to break into the facility parking lot around 3 a.m., but security stuff isn't relevant to this story. After work I picked Stephanie up from school and we had a long talk in the car.

She'd had a rough day, broke down crying during math class and had to go to the counselor's office. The school was understanding given the circumstances. I told her I was going to have a serious conversation with Donna about how her words heard us and asked if she wanted to be part of that conversation. She said no, but added that she trusted me to make the correct decision. My kid is seriously awesome and sometimes has more maturity than I do. When I got home, Donna wasn't there, she was at work and wouldn't be back for a few hours. Stephanie and I took the opportunity to go through some of flips things together.

We looked at old photos of him as a puppy, laughed about the time he stole an entire Thanksgiving turkey off the counter, not funny at the time but hilarious in retrospect, and cried a bit more. It was therapeutic in a way. I sat Donna down after she came back from work and we had a heart-to-heart talk. At first, she got defensive and almost got up and left, but I told her if we couldn't talk this out there was no future for us. Then I showed her this post. As she read the comments, many of which were pretty harsh toward her, if I'm being honest,

she started to cry. After a few minutes we talked, and it came out that she considered Flip to be part of my old life that I had with joy, and that with his passing she thought I could focus more on our relationship and building something new. She said she felt like she was always competing with my past and that the house was full of reminders of joy, photos, Flip, even some furniture joy had picked out. She said she thought with Flip gone, maybe I could start to let go of some of that past. Tbh, I almost lost my poop right there but managed to stay calm. Anger is a secondary emotion indicative of deeper trauma, so I kept that in mind during the conversation. I told her I

understood feeling insecure about competing with memories, but that didn't excuse her being callous about something that clearly caused me and Stephanie so much pain. I explained that joy and flip will always be part of my life, just like Stephanie, and nothing can change that. I said that they are part of me and helped shape the man I am today. If she can't recognize that, understand my pain and feel empathy, then this relationship is doomed from the start. She said she was sorry for how she came across but maintained that she thought I was too attached to flip and that it wasn't healthy how much his death affected me. She suggested grief counseling, which was rich considering I'd done grief counseling for years after Joy's death and knew exactly what healthy grieving looked like.

We went back and forth for a while, but it became clear that we were at an impasse. She couldn't understand why I was making such a big deal over a dog, and I couldn't understand how someone could be so callous about a family member's death, because that's what Flip was to us, a family member. To make a long story short, she's moving out and we are taking a break from each other for a month or two to reflect on our priorities. Not that I need that time, I know my priorities, my needs, and what I want in a relationship. She needs to decide if her priorities coincide with mine. This morning was awkward as hell. We barely spoke while getting ready for the day.

Stephanie still won't acknowledge Donna's presence. I'm not working tonight so I'm going to help pack some of Donna's things and start the process of moving forward. She says she can stay with her sister for a while until she finds a new place. That's about it for now. It's late and I'm completely bushed. I haven't slept properly in days between grieving flip and dealing with. all this relationship drama. Thanks again for your support, folks. Reading your comments helped me realize I wasn't crazy for feeling so hurt by her reaction. To all those animal

lovers out there, always trust your heart and may God bless and keep you. Update 2, First things first, Stephanie and I are doing okay. Not great, but okay. We had dinner with Tanya and her husband last night. It was a good evening, took our minds of off everything for a bit. They brought Stephanie a little stuffed border collie that looks kind of like Flip. She pretended it was lame because she's 13, but I saw her take it to bed with her. Donna is gone for good. After our break lasted about a week, we had another conversation. I realized we were never going to mesh well and be healthy together. The way she handled the situation with Flip was just a symptom of deeper incompatibility issues. Not going to go

further into that conversation because it gets pretty personal, but let's just say there were other red flags I've been ignoring. The night before she left for good, she tried once more to make me see her side of things. She said I was throwing away a good relationship over a dog. I told her it wasn't about the dog, it was about her inability to show compassion when I was hurting. I said something like, if this is how you react when something hurts me, what happens when something really serious comes up? She didn't have an answer for that. Moving her out was a logistical nightmare. She had only been living with us for a month, but somehow her stuff had spread throughout the entire house.

Took us three days to get everything packed and moved to her sister's place. She tried to claim some furniture that Joy and I had bought together, saying she'd helped pay for it by contributing to household expenses for the month she lived with us. I shut that down real quick. Some people have asked about the lease situation. Yes, she signed a one-year lease with me, but I own the house so it wasn't like a traditional apartment lease. She did pay a security deposit in first month's rent, which I returned in full even though she only lived here for about six weeks. It seemed like the right thing to do. Several people asked if I thought Donna might have done something to flip to make him sick.

Absolutely not. The cancer had clearly been devised. for some time according to the vet. It wasn't something that just happened overnight when Donna moved in. And while she wasn't a dog person, she wasn't abusive toward him. Let's not go down conspiracy paths. Someone in the comments asked about the thing I said regarding anger being a secondary emotion. I learned that through grief counseling. Did a lot of that to deal with the loss of my wife. It really helped me understand my emotions better and how to process them in a healthier way. The basic idea is that anger usually covers up a more vulnerable feeling like

hurt, fear, or sadness. Recognizing that helps me respond more constructively rather than just lashing out. A couple people commented that Stephanie sounded too mature in my last update. She's 13, not a moron. She can be surprisingly mature when she wants to be. Although I did have to put our conversation into my own words as hers included cringe and Doca nozzal, her favorite word these days since I don't put up with actual swearing by either of us. Like any teenager, she can be incredibly insightful one minute and completely irrational the next. The night after Donna left, she had a meltdown because I bought the wrong brand of cereal. So yeah, she's still very much a normal teenager. We've been talking about getting another

dog soon. Obviously no dog can replace flip, but I think we both want another four-legged family member around. I want someone there with Stephanie when I'm working my overnight shifts. We're going to check out a local rescue shelter this weekend, let Stephanie pick them out, and then see where that goes. Thinking maybe a slightly older dog this time, one that needs a good home. Puppies are a lot of work, and I'm not sure we're ready for that level of commitment right now. Thank you, most of, you for your sage advice and perspectives. Everything you said pretty much echoed what I was already thinking, but because the pain was still so fresh, my mind was all jumbled. It was nice to get confirmation from people with no skin in the game.

The overwhelming response that I wasn't overreacting helped me trust my gut. I think that's about it for now. Life goes on, though it feels a bit emptier without flips wagging tail greeting us every morning. Stephanie is doing better at school, and I'm throwing myself into work to stay busy. One day at a time, right? God bless you all.