Reddit Stories - PARTNER VANISHED the day prior to our trip and he WOULDN'T respond to

Episode Date: July 14, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #advice #mystery #partners #disappearanceSummary: PARTNER VANISHED the day prior to our trip and he WOULDN'T respond to any messages or calls. Confused and worried, I turned to Reddit for advice on how to handle the situation.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, advice, mystery, partners, disappearance, missingperson, communication, travel, vacation, relationshipadvice, helpneeded, community, support, unresolved, confusionBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Partner vanished the day prior to our trip and he wouldn't respond to his device for two days, so I contacted the authorities and discovered he was apprehended. Hello. This is my first post, because I need people to tell me what to think right now. My BF and I have been dating for a little over six months, and we have both been really busy with work and his dad has recently been sick so we haven't gotten to see each other as often these last five to six weeks.

So about a month ago we decided to plan a vacation during a national holiday that is going on right now. We both are early in our careers and don't make much, but we decided to use a bit of savings and fly to a nearby country and have a beach vacation, stay in some hotels, swim in the lot. We've both been so excited for this trip. He's planned most of the general stuff, which days and times we should fly, he booked all the hotels, we were going to go back and forth between some islands, and messaging me almost every day this week with weather updates and things we could do. I have been super busy with work but cut out some time earlier this week to make a more in-death schedule so we could make the most out of our vacation and to book some stuff for us to do to ensure we would have tickets. It was all going perfectly, we were both clearly excited and had spent a good amount of money.

I know he already spent at least $1,000 booking stuff, so he was very invested. Plus he is the one who initially came up with the plan and invited me. Here's where the story turns. Keep in mind our flight is at 9-10 this morning, the 30th, so we had loose plans to meet near my street and get a taxi at 7.30, yesterday the 29th I have Wi-Fi issues at my apartment, so I don't get a good morning message. When we first started dating I kind of found these a bit annoying,

but I've grown to love them so much, and I know it means a lot to him that I say good morning back, so I try my best to respond within a few hours, so I go to a coffee shop and see that he hasn't messaged me, which I find a little weird but I take the opportunity to be the one to say good morning first, something I very rarely get to do since he works a nine to five and I'm remote, and I get to work on my latest project and don't think too much of it. Then a little later I send him the latest ideas for our trip and ask if he's bringing any nicer clothes if we want to do a slightly fancier dinner one night. No response. This man is always on.

on his phone, he responds so fast sometimes it gives me whiplash and it's been hours and nothing. But I know he's at work and I feel a little crazy for even thinking anything of it. I accidentally leave him for hours sometimes because I'm not as attached to my phone so it's not a big deal if he doesn't respond quickly, but it is weird for him. A few hours later I send him a booking confirmation. No response. I finish my work and go home. then 5.30 rolls around, and I know he should be off work.

I message him again and no response. An hour later I message again because I'm getting worried he isn't messaging back the night before our flight. No response. I call him a couple times and he doesn't pick up so by 7.7-30 I'm stressing out, and I walk over to his apartment. A five minutes walk from mine. His bike is outside his door, but I knock for 20-ish-ish-year. men, and no response. I'm trying to come up with excuses. Maybe he had to work super late.

He's at dinner. His phone is dead or broken. I go home and just pack and go to sleep. This morning still nothing. We plan to leave at 7.30, so I get ready as I would have and try calling him a few times. At 7.30 I go out to the street corner where we normally have met before and wait. To get to the airport in time to check and we have to leave by 8 o'clock at the absolute latest. I message and call him the whole time and nothing. At 8.01 I head to his apartment again. I'm pounding on the door, calling him, there is nothing, no response. His shoes are there that I can see. His bike outside unmoved from the day before. We have missed our flight, so I request a refund on the site while literally sitting against his door.

I miraculously got the refund, by the way, and I cancel any bookings I made, all of which went through. So I'm super sad about missing our vacation, but I want to emphasize that I'm not mad about the money, I was able to get it back. I'm scared at this point. He's been the perfect boyfriend. He brought flowers to my place when I got sick. He is always on time to pick me up for our dates. He plans things for us. We've never fought. I don't even think I've ever seen him annoyed with me, and I'm super annoying. The last time I saw him, the 24th. His last words to me were like three times, and then when I left me message that he loved being with me and then later I got a good night message. Cut to today and suddenly it's radio silence. Nothing. I'm crying at this point and

accept that he's probably not home or I would have hear him, so I go home and just cry and get pizza and wine and message him approximately 100 million times, and try to call and nothing. I haven't met his family yet so I don't have their contacts, I've met a couple of his friends and workmates in passing but didn't think to get any of their numbers, why would I? I know the buildings where he works but not where his office is or the name of the company. It's not my native language and names are really hard for me to remember so he might have told me but I forgot if he did. My point is that I have no way of contacting him.

If he is in the hospital or something no one is going to think to call me. It's the evening of the 30th as I'm tying this. I recently got back from his apartment again and his bike hasn't moved. I taped a message to his door to call me, and my contact info for anyone who goes to his apartment in case someone else might know what happened. I can't think of anything else to do and I'm terrified and crying constantly thinking the worst. I'm trying to think of what could possibly be happening.

He takes his bike everywhere, but it's outside his apartment unmoved. He spent a lot of money on tickets for this trip and then didn't show. Where I live you need your phone to use taxis and metros and such, and there are charging ports and repair shops everywhere so even if his phone died the 29th or broke it would be fine by now. My best idea is that there was some sort of family emergency. Maybe with his dad who was sick that he had to go early on the 29th to see them and after he got there he lost his phone and has been super crazy with family stuff that he hasn't had the

bandwidth to go get a new phone. He also just has my contact saved and doesn't have my number memorized. We use We chat, so he wouldn't be able to contact me on another phone. I've cried more today than in the past year. Please tell me other things I can try, or other excuses for why he isn't responding and didn't go on the trip. I'm so scared. When I was at his apartment door tonight, all I could think is what if he fell and hit his head and he's on the other side of this door dead. but I'm not about to go full crazy and call the cops. Though I'm considering it at this point. Because the image won't leave my head and something is wrong I can feel it.

Please help me. Edit, thanks for telling me I'm not overreacting this was what I needed to actually try to contact the cops. Update, he's not dead. Okay, so it's been a crazy night. For everyone asking why I hadn't already gone to the cops, it had only been a day and a half and I live in a very safe place so I didn't want to overreact. People have always told me I blow stuff up so I'm very cautious about it now. I know I probably should have gone earlier though.

Anyway, I left my house and tried to find a police station but all I could find were traffic violation stations. So I called and even though I have the speech capabilities of an 11-year-old in Chinese and told them what was going on. There was. nice woman on the phone and she was very helpful and patient and sent over some officers to meet me and help me. They immediately take my case very seriously, but I still have the problem of not really having much info to give them. They asked if I had a picture of his ID and I was like,

No. And so it took them a long time to find his record in the system. They were ready to go with me to do a house check, but then they got an update on the system and asked if I was okay going with them to the station, and I of course was. So I get there and they ask me a few more questions like if we were fighting, no we weren't, etc. Then the officers who I'm talking to get a bit nervous and one typed something into his phone and shows me a translation, and it says, your boyfriend was arrested two days ago. I felt so many emotions and I'm still reeling, I barely slept last night and I have been worried sick in crying all day and so I'm relieved that he's fine. He's not dead or hurt or sick or in a coma or something. But at the same time, he's fucking arrested. I'm still

trying to wrap my head around it quite frankly. They couldn't tell me why he was arrested because the case isn't closed, but they took down my number and said they'd call me. But yeah, I'm so exhausted from this whole ordeal. Since I know people will ask, he's a great guy, a very nice person. He does, however, have very little regard for rules and regulation. He is an asshole driver on his bike and often cuts off cars. Also, he's not an angry person ever, but I can kind of seeing him getting in a fight if there's a good reason, at least in his own mind. I know he once got an altercation with someone early in our relationship for cursing out his mother. But both of those mean you are held in custody until they figure out the case.

If it's just a minor traffic violation or a fight he'll be out in a few days, and probably pay a fine. if it's something worse. Well then maybe I shouldn't be seeing him anyway. Anyway, thanks for everyone who commented, and made me feel like I wasn't overreacting or being a crazy girlfriend. I'll update if I ever find out what he did. Edit 1, the more I think about it, he had to have been arrested early on Tuesday.

So probably not a fight or anything, maybe something he was caught on camera for? Edit 2, when I say he has little regard for rules, I mean compared to me, it's very typical here. Bikes are illegal in this city so I'm told and yet I almost get hit by one daily. Jaywalking is illegal and yet he and everyone else does it all the time. Also, you can get held in custody for very minor things, which is why I haven't blacklisted him quite yet. Like once a guy yelled slurs at a group of my friends and called my black friend the N-word and the police detained him for three days for disturbing the peace. Not saying my BF would do that,

but you can get detained for parking tickets next story. Vegan brother and his influencer girlfriend refused to attend Thanksgiving dinner unless I made the entire meal meatless, but then my dad threatened to disown him. I feel like I've slipped into the Twilight Zone with this whole argument. So tell me what's up, internet folks. Background, I, 31F, and my brother, Mark, 35M, do not get along. When he was a teen he saw a documentary on factory farming and decided to be a vegetarian. He got very, very annoying about it quickly, but my dad shut him down when he started

trying to get the rest of us to be vegetarian with him. Then he went to college, made a bunch of very strange friends, and went militantly vegan. It's his entire personality. I stopped talking to him after he threw a fit about one of my birthday dinners being at a steakhouse and spammed my messages in SM with pictures of abused cows. My parents have been trying to repair the situation and for a while, It did seem like Mark was getting better so I'd been letting him back into contact gradually. Then he started dating Pam, who is some kind of vegan influencer. She is apparently moderately popular online, but I have no idea what she does exactly. I don't know if Mark was trying to impress her or what, but last Thanksgiving he insisted that

mom cook at least a vegetarian meal or they wouldn't come on ethical grounds. My mom just wanted everyone to get along on her favorite holiday, so she agreed. It was not a fun meal. This year, my parents have downsized for retirement and my mom is having health problems. I bought their house when they moved, so my mom asked me to host Thanksgiving so it would be like usual. I told everyone in the group chat so Mark and Pam could make travel arrangements and Pam immediately started gushing about all the vegan replacement recipes she could give me to replace the traditional ones. I said to send me a main dish recipe they like and I would give it a shot, but I'm making the traditional meal otherwise and there should still be plenty of things they can eat. Mark and Pam have been

arguing about this with me for days and then Mark said that if I wouldn't make a meat-free meal, they wouldn't come. This upset my mom, who asked me to just make what she made last year to keep the peace, but I told her that Mark needs to get over himself and I'm not coddling him. I'm having turkey on Thanksgiving. My dad privately agrees with me, but Mark threatening to not come is upsetting my mom so much that he's worried it will impact her health. There's a lot of not big, but also not zero chance that these might be some of the last family holidays we have with her. My mom thinks I'm putting turkey over my own family and I'm not so sure anymore. Ida. Edit 1, whoa, this blew up. So the answers to some common questions, as I said,

I've already offered to make sure there is a main dish and sides they can eat. Mark and Pam will not show up if anyone else eats meat at this meal. If any meat is served to anyone, they won't come. Doing multiple meals that day or across multiple days is a no-go. I'm a newly minted critical care physician at an understaffed hospital during a major holiday week and I will have a limited window of time between shifts. I have time for one gathering and I would rather not wasted on a miserable one like last year. Mark and Pam can't host because they live in a van at present. I'm also not willing to have them in my kitchen for hours bitching about the meat in my fridge, the cookware and utensils, and whatever else they can find to complain about.

The time it would take for them to come eat, socialize for a couple of hours, and leave is the maximum amount I'm willing to let them be in my home. Although it would admittedly be interesting to watch them try to host a family Thanksgiving out of a van. It is very unlikely that my mom is going to die any time soon. It's just a non-zero chance, she's understandably worried about it, and is in the pessimism stage of grieving her health. She has a good prognosis and most people with her condition pull through and live for a long time afterward. If it is by some chance the last Thanksgiving, I don't think a repeat of last year's Thanksgiving would do her any good either as everyone left that table unsatisfied and unhappy.

Edit 2. So, a possible situation to this that I came up with while talking to my partner is to just work through Thanksgiving instead. The attending on shift that day would probably be happy to stay home, so swapping wouldn't be hard. Mom would be sad about canceling, but she knows my job is demanding and saves lives so she won't be upset. Mark and Pam can kick rocks. To be honest, eating hospital turkey

between emergencies sounds better than a family Thanksgiving right now. I'll have to turn it over some more. Edit 3. Problem mostly solved. Dad finally hit critical mass and told Mark that if he didn't get his ass here on Thanksgiving to support mom,

unconditionally and without a single complaint or argument the entire time, he was disowning and disinheriting him and the next time he needed money or help he could forget it. So Mark is theoretically coming. Pam is not. Dad has already ordered the turkey. The recipes Pam's scent are ridiculously complicated. So I worked out a deal with one of the nurses at work who is vegan and she's going to make a couple of her favorite dishes ahead that I can bake Daya for Mark.

We'll see if he actually manages to show us. up. Update, people have been asking and I'm finally out from under the balls to the wall madness at work for a little bit. So buckle up, folks. I have a story. So, to recap, my mom is sick and wanted a nice family Thanksgiving at my house, since it used to be the family house and their new place is small. My vegan brother and his girlfriend refused to come unless the entire meal was vegetarian, i.e. no meat allowed for anyone. I am not okay with being blackmailed over food in my own home. It was upsetting my mom enough that before Thanksgiving, my dad called my brother and told him that if he did not show up to Thanksgiving, support my mom, and be pleasant

to everyone without a single comment about food, he was disowned. My brother agreed to come. His girlfriend opted out at the time. My dad and I planned the meal. I made sure there were plenty of vegetable dishes available and made a deal with a vegan nurse at work to make me a couple of vegan casseroles that I could bake for my brother. My mom was happy and it was looking like everything was solved. My brother arrived the night before Thanksgiving with the girlfriend after all in their van, which they live in. This was unplanned, but at least they showed up. They intended to camp in my yard. I told them absolutely not. They asked if they could stay in my guest room, then. I said that I had not planned for them to stay there and given their previous behavior I

thought it best if they went and got a hotel room, plus they have a large breed dog with them, I don't have a fenced yard, and I don't want the dog to be in the house. They can't afford a hotel room. He calls mom. The community my parents live and does not allow overnight guests under 50, so they can't sleep there. To end the debate, I pay for a hotel room and allow the dog to hang out in the garage for the night because the hotel doesn't accept pets that large that aren't service animals. Thanksgiving Day, my parents are so. come over, other family members and my partner come early to hang out, and everything is going fine. Brother and girlfriend roll up about 11. They both smell strongly of weed, which is not legal

here, which makes things awkward from the start. Girlfriend comes into the kitchen to help even though everything is almost done, and starts taking picks with her phone without permission and telling my very southern great aunt who has been cooking since God was a child how to make cornbread dressing the right, vegan, way. Several bless your heart-ess later, girlfriend is firmly escorted to the living room instead since she's a guest. Meanwhile, my brother has cornered my partner, who is also in the medical field and has the patience of a saint, about his vaccine conspiracies and my dad is just letting it happen because at least he's not talking about food. Finally, we're ready to eat and everyone is making

a plate. Girlfriend asks a million questions about ingredients and then just get small portions of two side dishes, not even the actual vegan dishes made by my vegan friend. My brother eats all the vegetable dishes but comments about how girlfriend makes them better. I notice girlfriend gets up to go to the bathroom a lot, and at one point she's gone for a while so I go check on her to make sure she's okay. Y'all, this woman was filming a video for her channel in my bedroom. I was speechless. She apologized and said that she thought it was the guest room and she needed a minute away

from the smell of meat. I told her to stop and go downstairs and that since it's illegal here to record video on private property without the owner's permission. If she posted anything she recorded in my house I would press charges. After we were done eating, my brother pulled me off to the side and told me that I was a bitch for threatening his girlfriend. My partner happened to be close enough to hear and apparently told my dad. Dad asked my brother to help with something outside for a minute. I don't know what was said, but my brother came back and looking pissed, reminded girlfriend that they needed to head back to beat traffic, said goodbye to mom, and they left in a hurry.

So much of a hurry that they forgot the poor dog who was still out in the garage and by the time my brother answered a call he was so worked up he cussed me out and told me to just keep the dog since I had to have everything my way and his girlfriend was yelling in the background when he hung up. My mom either completely missed what was going on or is pretending she doesn't know so we don't have to talk about it, but she said she had a good Thanksgiving and it was nice to have everyone together. My dad hasn't said anything about what he told my brother, but he wants to take mom to the beach for Christmas and asked if my partner and I wanted to go without saying anything about my brother

and his girlfriend. My cousin checked up on girlfriend's channel and says that she's posted videos but they're from the hotel the night before and the van afterwards so at least she has the sense to be warned. I've sent messages and so have my dad and partner offering to try to get the dog back to them but so far neither of them are talking. I don't want to take the poor thing to the shelter. It's not his fault and he's not a bad dog, just big and excitable.