Reddit Stories - Partner who had never displayed CONTROLLING behavior previously UNEXPECTEDLY imposed a RESTRICTION on

Episode Date: November 4, 2025

#redditstories #askreddit #aita #relationships #unexpected #controllingbehavior #partnership #conflictresolutionSummary: A partner who had never displayed controlling behavior previously unexpectedly imposed a restriction on their significant other. The situation raises questions about boundaries, communication, and power dynamics within the relationship.Tags: redditstories, askreddit, reddit, aita, tifu, relationships, unexpected, controllingbehavior, partnership, conflictresolution, boundaries, communication, powerdynamics, significantother, restrictions, behaviorchange, relationshipissues, emotionalmanipulation, trustissues, personalboundaries, assertivenessBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/reddit-stories--6237355/support.

I hope you enjoy this story. Partner who had never displayed controlling behavior previously unexpectedly imposed a restriction on when I had to return home from a Halloween event, and suggested that if I disagreed with it, I should find another place to live, so I decided to depart. When my family came to get my stuffy threatened them with a pew, pew. My boyfriend, 25M, and I, 23F, have been together for over five years and have lived together for 1.5 years now. For context, I was getting ready to go to a Halloween potluck with some of my girlfriends

and their respective boyfriends. When I was getting ready, my BF began discussing the idea of a curfew with me, explaining that no woman should be out late because nothing good happens late into the night and that I shouldn't be out till 3 a.m. I explained that I don't want to be out that long, but the idea of him putting a curfew on me made me uncomfortable. He told me that unless he is physically there with me, I, a female, shouldn't be out of the house late and at a party. I told him there is no need for him to be this controlling with me and that I was confused, since he had never done anything like this before. I go to social events pretty regularly, but rarely go to parties like this,

maybe once every three months. He was also invited twice to come to this party with me and declined. I asked my BF why he's saying all this, and he said that, I have standards. These are my standards. If you don't like them, you don't have to live with me anymore. I'm not budging on this. And then explain that, now I expect you home at 1 a.m. because you're pissing me off, but I should be saying 11 p.m. This freaked me out. I packed a bag, left to my parents' house, and haven't been back since. I don't know what to do from here.

I want to emphasize he's never done anything like this before, which really threw me off and hence why I'm asking for advice on an internet forum. I left the house crying and upset and my BF hasn't reached out in over 72 hours to check in or initiate a chat. Ideally, I would like a conversation to be started by him, but I'm convinced my BF has no shame for his actions and believes I am the one in the wrong. Please let me know what you, an unbiased random internet stranger, thinks about this situation. I love the relationship my BF and I have built together, but this seems like a huge red flag. to me. Comments where O.P. has replied, commenter one, it kind of sounds like he instigated this in order to cause a breakup. So after five years dating and 1.5 years living together

he announces a new standard to force you to move out of his place? I assume this was his place and you moved in with him. Weird, and pretty rotten of him. I'm awfully sorry this is happening to you, but sound like he dreamed this up to give you the boot. Oop, yes, his parents own the place, both pay rent on it. Just not an official lease or anything. It genuinely didn't feel like he was trying to give me the boot, but more like he wasn't going to relent on this new standard of his, and that our place of living is something in his control, which is what he wanted in this situation. Commenter too, I think he's got another girlfriend, and he's trying to make you break up with him so she can move in. Who is he hanging out with when he refuses to join you at a party?

If he's not cheating, he's trying to break up so he doesn't have to get all those. pesky. When are you going to marry her? Questions. But do leave this relationship. He's a dude. Oop, he's definitely not cheating. 100% certainty. He's more introverted where parties and dressing up aren't his thing. Which is totally fine with me, but it feels like he wants me to be more like that when I'm not. Commenter 3, I'm going to deviate from the pattern here and ask, what sorts of media does he enjoy? Has he recently started listening to new podcasts or watching new creators on YouTube? To me, this sounds an awful lot like a recently radicalized hater-taught or passport bro type guy.

Oop, honestly, I have no idea. I think this is a great question to ask, though, and could contribute to why his actions are suddenly changing. Update, July 7, 2025. I never expected my original post would receive some. much attention. All of the events listed below occurred eight months ago, around the time of the O.G Post. This update is not easy for me to write, but I am moving out of state next week, and want to put this out to finally lay this chapter of my life to rest. The argument from the

post occurred on Saturday late afternoon. I posted to Reddit a few days later after I hadn't heard from M25. By Wednesday, I placed an order for a small U-Haul truck to move out the following Saturday, the soonest time my family could help, but I still hadn't heard from him. My family thought it best not to tell M25 that I was coming to pick up my belongings until the day of, because we were afraid he would destroy my things. M25 is an extreme minimalist, so all the furniture, decor, tools, etc. came 100% out of my pocket. At that point, I had thousands of dollars worth of belongings in there, and even more invaluable mementos.

Anyways, Saturday comes around. Still hadn't heard anything on his end. I texted M25 that morning, telling him my parents were coming to remove my belongings and to please be out of the house while they did so. He texted me back, no stop telling me what to do. At this point, he knows they're coming and exactly when. For my safety, I stayed home. When my parents get there, my mother knocks on the door. No answer. Doorbell. No answer. I texted her to go into the garage and see if M25's vehicle is there.

The garage opens, and he had thrown my belongings into the garage. Things were scattered about the garage floor. Whatever. They noted that his vehicle was there, though, so he must be inside. My family starts grabbing stuff from the floor and putting it into the truck. M25 comes to out. My mother said he looked psychotic, almost. He doesn't do drugs and wasn't drinking for health reasons. But he looked off. When he came out, he made it very clear to my mother that he was holding a gun in his sweatpants pocket. He told them to get off his property. My mother asked him if he was all right. Remember, M25 and I had been together for a long time at this point. My family knows him well.

This was all such strange behavior from him, and my mother was genuinely concerned. In response, he tells my mom, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be? My mom asked if she could go inside and get the rest of my belongings. M25 says no. My mother reminds him that I have been without my essentials for a week now, medication, glasses slash contacts, work badge, underpants, and asks to step in for five minutes to retrieve those things. He agrees. My mother walks into the house and sees an

AR-57 set up in the kitchen, ready to go. She immediately turned around, told everyone outside loading the truck to get in the car, and went home. I spent the next few hours trying to arrange a police escort for the rest of my belongings. In hindsight, we should have done it in the first place. As I was working with that, my mom called the homeowners, aka M25's parents, who live two to three hours away. We tell them everything up to this point, and they're distraught. They say they're on their way. We received a call from the parents later that evening stating that M25 is out of the house and being monitored back at their home. We moved everything out afterwards. I get a text from M25 that Sunday, where he essentially says that he didn't know I was

breaking up with him, that he was waiting for me to reach out to him while he was reflecting on everything that happened, blah, blah. We went back and forth a bit, where I was telling him that he threatened my family and that I couldn't forgive him. He said he wanted to talk about everything, and I told him I wasn't ready for that. I followed it up with a you should work on yourself, and if I want to talk, I'll reach out type of text. He responded with a bunch of okays and then, Just don't fuck your ex hate that guy. Heard really bad things about him.

He's referring to himself here, since he's the only BF I've had. It was super strange and off-putting to receive a joking text like that when a few hours earlier he threatened my family with guns. I ignored him. He also sent an interesting apology to my mother. To me, it's a liability thing that his lawyer mother asked him to send. Highlights included, I know you felt threatened by what you saw.

And, there is no excuse for having guns out while people are present at my house. Seeing a gun, concealed or otherwise, in that sort of situation is enough to shock someone, especially those unfamiliar with these weapons. And, my parents agree and have asked me to give my guns, up until I am more responsible and careful. He texted me again the next day, saying, I know I've acted nonchalant about things, and it's not a good habit. I can't continue to live in limbo. I hope you will come over and talk to me in person. False hope is not doing me any good. I need to move on with my life.

Where I responded, I do not want to give you false hope, but I'm not in a place of forgiveness. I think it's time that we continue to move on with our separate lives. This is when he responds with, listen, come talk to me. I feel awful that I used your own love for me as a lever against you. I hate the person who did that to you and every day I try to bury that part of me. Lots to digest there. We exchanged a few more texts and I, naively, agreed to have a conversation in person. I would not have it at the house. It would be during the day. And it would be in public. I now understand that I should never have entertained this idea in the first place. I was emotional and confused at that time.

I had been with M. 25 for years at this point, and wanted clarity on what drove him to do this. I told him my availability to talk on a Thursday, and he said he wasn't sure if he was available but would let me know. I didn't hear back from him until Thursday at 8.15 p.m., when he asked, you still coming or know? A location hadn't been discussed. It was dark out. I suggested we meet the following morning. That's when he sends, 8.30 is late for you now? Followed by, I said your curfew was 1 a.m., so you're good and just get your ass over here and talk. I am not going this 9 a.m. bullshit. Or I will put a scorpion in your bed. I responded and he texts back, I'm OMW. I'm sorry,

you're what. At this point, I was in a new safe place in location A. My mother was in location B, and my father was in location C. I had to call everyone and let them know M25 was going to show up at one of their locations, since he knows where they both live. He showed up at location C, where my father was. My father told me that he was scared for his safety and home. Luckily, nothing happened. M25 waited outside for a bit. after texting me here and left. This whole night rattled me. I stayed up all night, scared he was going to show up at my mom's place next, or mine. I ignored his texts. He started to call. Left an eerily calm, cool, and collected voicemail wondering when we

were going to chat. Saying that if I wanted to have that conversation, I, F-23 am, welcome to the house whenever. I texted him back, threatening a restraint. order if he made contact again. A month later, he texted, hey, obviously what happened? I'm sorry I made you feel unsafe. That's not who I am as a person or who I would want to be. I wish you the best in whatever you do. And that is the last I've heard from him. All of this could have played out way worse. I'm relieved for the safety of my family and my own. I'm fortunate enough to have gotten out when I did. And yes, I am. understand things could have been done differently on my end. I learned a lot about myself through

this experience. I chose to text him 25 in the non-confrontational way I did for my safety. We live in a small community. I genuinely believe this man is dangerous and could harm my family, my dog, my friends, etc., if I angered him. We're all within a mile or two of each other, and he knows where to find all of them, and me, if he wanted to. Next story, dad, and I got matching tattoos, but after he remarried he got the exact same style tattoo with his new family. Then I found out my stepmother was manipulating him to cut me out of his life. My father, 41m, and my mother, 40F, divorced three years ago. I live with my mother. My father remarried a year ago. His wife has two children, 18F, 15M. Me, 18F, and my dad got a matching tattoo

two years ago. It was a simple outline tattoo of a photo of us. After my dad got married, things started to get a bit more distant between us because he started to spend more time with his new family. Besides that, I think he doesn't want to see me around them. I don't know why, after all, I've never treated his wife or stepchildren bad. Yesterday he refused to meet me on a weekend when we were supposed to spend time together saying he was unavailable and he reposted a story of him hanging out with his new family that. While looking at the photo I saw that he got a new tattoo on his arm. It was an outlined tattoo of a photo of him with his new family, just like the tattoo he got with me. Now I know that millions of people have these tattoos and it's not my original design.

Still I'm disappointed that he got a tattoo with his new family in the same style as ours because I always thought that tattoo was special between us. Now I'm thinking of getting it covered or removed. I called my dad in the evening and asked him why he was hanging out with his family instead of meeting me. He said they planned it earlier which doesn't make sense because it was agreed in court after the divorce that I could spend time with my dad every weekend. So we planned it earlier is a pretty bullshit excuse. He also knows that I'm totally okay with spending time with his family. When I told him that he said it's not that simple.

I guess I'm too dumb to understand complicated things because he doesn't even try to explain it, LOL. Then I asked him why he got his new tattoo in the same style as ours. He said he didn't think it would be a problem for me. I told him you broke something special between us. How can you not realize that? I think I'm going to get my tattoo covered. You can do the same. In result, he thinks I'm overreacting and I shouldn't be so selfish. My mom says what my dad did wasn't such a bad thing. She thinks we should sit down and talk, I'm not sure. Ida. Edit, tomorrow I will try to talk to my dad face to face.

I hope to discuss openly about whatever the issues are between us and find a way out. I don't think my mind will change about the tattoo, but I will not rush to get it covered. Thank you for your advice. Update 1. This morning we had breakfast together and had a long talk. It turned out that the problem all this time was my steps of. He told me that she was struggling with the whole marriage. The reason he got the tattoo was to show her that he loves her as much as he loves me. He also said that she didn't feel at ease around me, which I was really surprised about.

We hadn't fought once, and we hadn't even been together long enough to have any disagreements. That's why he didn't invite me that day. He wanted to be a good father figure in her life. Still, he said that I might get closer to my step-sister in time. Who knows when he also said I can get my tattoo covered if I want, but he would never do that to his. For him, the tat still has the same special meaning. Honestly, it would really make me feel like an odd to get mine covered while he keeps his, I'm not sure what to do.

Lastly, the hardest thing for me was finding out that they were moving to another state. His wife got a better paying job and he's going to start a business with a friend there. He told me that he will be very busy with all the moving, but will spend as much time with me as possible until he moves. He also promised to visit me often after the move, which I don't think he'll be able to keep. I guess he's really moving into a part of his life where I'm not in it, and there's not much I can do about it. Thank you all. Update 2 today my stepbrother replied to my story and we started talking. I told him about the latest things and he told me a lot of things I didn't know. He said that it's true his sister doesn't feel at ease

around me, but she never said anything to my dad about not inviting me. In fact, her discomfort isn't so great that she couldn't stand to be in the same place with me. It was my stepmother who asked him not to invite me that day. And she came up with the whole idea of the tattoo he said his mom doesn't like my mom at all. He's not sure if this is based on something or not. When I asked my mom about it, she said she never met that woman even once. I think her dislike for me comes from her baseless hatred for my mom and my dad played along with her also, I didn't mention here, but my dad told me they are moving in November. My stepbrother told me they are moving next week and that was the plan all along. He told me he is sorry for what happened to me and only told me

these because he thought I had to know the truth. He also asked me not to let his mom know about this conversation. My dad wasn't really like that, he was a good man. I mean, all those lies, cutting me out of his life, that's not like him. I don't understand why he turned into such a person, but I really don't want to talk to him once more to get it. He's moving away next week anyway I told my mom about this and asked her to call my dad, tell him that I would never see him again. My mother passed this on to him without mentioning the conversation.

I also blocked my dad from everywhere. Soon I will get the tattoo covered. Love you. Update 3. Hi. I just log into this account and see people asking how I'm doing. I want to give a little update but it's not too cheerful. My dad really moved away that September, just before that he came to our house to talk but I couldn't confront him.

Still I broke no contact. We ended up talking on the phone many times, he promised a lot that he would make things right between us. He would come to visit me and he didn't keep any of it. Two weeks ago I stopped talking to him again. I've also been going to therapy since the new year. It's not only for my dad, I have other problems too. My therapist is really nice and she helps me a lot.

Apart from all this, my life is actually pretty good. I have my mom and friends who are there for me. Lastly, I kept the tattoo. I couldn't make a final decision about what to do and I think it will stay like that for some time. I don't think I'll be posting another update later so please take care. Update 4, hey, this account randomly popped into my head and when I logged and I saw that some people still message me for an update. First off the fact that I'm back here a year later kind of tells you life hasn't been super smooth, L.O.L. It's been a year full of mistakes. I failed some classes in college, got fired from my part-time job, and me and my roommate are struggling to pay rent.

And yeah, I moved out. My relationship with my mom is still great, nothing new there. As for my dad some of you, the three people reading this, are probably going to be mad but I'm talking to him. It's hard to explain if you haven't met him but he's kind of one of those people who just has something about them. No matter how mad you are, he somehow finds a way back into your life. Still a terrible dad, like really bad, but not going to lie he did help a little this year. I asked him for money like four or five times and he sent it twice, ha-ha. The business he said he was going to start is actually do a little. pretty well. I follow their Insta page and I even made a few reels for them. One of them got over

100k views. I didn't get paid or anything but he complimented me. It's kind of embarrassing to admit but my relationship with my dad is low-key like a drug. When he says something nice it makes me happy, but then he always ends up doing something that pisses me off again. I don't know how long this weird cycle will go on but for now I guess I'm okay with it. And I feel guilty for even saying that by the way he said we might see each other in person this summer. Like just the two of us going on a little vacation for a week or something. I don't really believe it's going to happen but still a promise is a promise. Maybe it will, I'd call so I don't talk to my step-siblings.

Not in a dramatic way or anything. We just kind of naturally stopped communicating, not that we talked much anyway. Honestly, I don't really feel like reaching out. I hear stuff about them from my dad's side. sometimes. I pretend to care but it goes in one ear and out the other. No clue what my dad's wife is up to either. He doesn't bring her up and I don't ask. About the tattoo. It's still there. Turns out covering or removing a tattoo isn't as easy as it sounds. I'm not even a tattoo person, T-B-H. If I could go back even if things were good with my dad, I wouldn't have gotten it. I think I'm just

going to leave it for now unless they invent some pain-free five-minute removal tech, LOLL I know this probably isn't the kind of update most people were hoping for, but I'm not a movie character. Life's messy. Love you all.